#to think about. everything important went out the window it was just like wtf is even happening rn and my dad said it was a fire and i was l | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my-never-ending-nightmare · 1 year

Text

Just about the last thing I needed to have happen whilst I’m in the process of trying to move out/away from where I currently live and into my very own place (and stressing about just how ridiculously expensive that is when you neither have a partner/s.o nor want a roommate to split the bills with) was for my gaming computer to die. And yet that’s exactly what happened when I got home after work last night. After 7 long years of arduous, faithful service she’s finally calling it quits… kinda. It all started with me trying to boot it up & it getting stuck in an endless loop of “Windows is attempting to diagnose/repair your computer” before restarting and doing it all over again. I was absolutely terrified that the hard drive had died/become corrupted because although the GTX1080 is the most valuable part of that computer in a monetary sense, it’s only the hard drive that is completely irreplaceable as it contains damn near a decade of photos & memories that I have no backup of. So imagine my relief when I was able to access the BIOS & confirm via Command Prompt that the hard drive was totally healthy. But then that begged the question… wtf else could possibly be causing it to fail to boot?

I turned off/unplugged everything, opened it up, and began disconnecting & removing everything that wasn’t essential. First the graphics card came out and in its place I used the motherboards onboard graphics card – and then after that the SSD & disc drive was disconnected. Now I only had a motherboard, hard drive, and RAM - which was all I should have needed. But when I plugged the computer back in and turned it on I found, to my dismay, that absolutely nothing was happening. The fans were spinning and the lights came on but there was absolutely nothing being displayed on the screen – not even the BIOS. Great, I thought, you’ve just fried the mother board.

And so I went to bed feeling absolutely defeated.

But when I awoke at 4AM I decided I wasn’t ready to accept defeat just yet and began stripping out even more parts until the only thing I had was the motherboard itself, and from there I began to troubleshoot by plugging components in one at a time & then turning it on to see what would happen – until eventually I once again had the BIOS being displayed on my monitor (it turns out that swapping the RAM chips with one another was the solution… although I have absolutely no idea why) and from there it was just a matter of dicking around in Command Prompt until I was able to force Windows to boot properly by ordering it too repeatedly.

So now I have access to my computer and all its files – minus the SSD, which I’m too afraid to try and reconnect just yet. And I had time before work this morning to slide on over to Walmart real quick & pick myself up an external hard drive which I’m now in the process of backing up all my important things onto. But, sadly, the reality of the situation is that I don’t think this computer has much of a life after this. I might be able to squeeze a couple more rounds of CoD out of it tonight; but I’m hesitant to even try lest I somehow kill the graphics card in the process. This computer has been showing its age in a lot of weird ways lately and I think it’s time for me to stop being in denial about the fact that I need to start looking to replace it. Like, a couple months ago I turned it on and immediately smelt this burnt metallic sort of smell and subsequently discovered that something must have short-circuited because all but 3 of the USB ports were dead - meaning I could no longer play Microsoft Flight Simulator because I can’t plug in the joystick & flight controls that I spent like $700 on. So now that I’ve had this much of a hard time just booting the damn thing so I’m calling it: she’s reached the end of her life.

Which like I said is just about the last thing I need right now.

Because a new gaming computer isn’t cheap, and neither is trying to live on your own. At all. Like, I’m earning more money right now than I ever have at any other point in my life. More than all but 2 of my friends even. And yet it’s still barely enough to be able to afford to live on my own. I already knew there was a housing crisis and everything… but I had no idea just how bad things really are until just last month when I started looking at places - and it flung me into a really horrible depression when I realized that the average rent around here for a 1 bedroom apartment (that isn’t a shithole) is $1,500 – $1,850 a month. Excluding utilities, of course. And if you think that’s bad just wait till you hear that bachelor apartments around here so small that I wouldn’t even be able to fit my computer desk in them are about $1,250 – $1,450 a month. Again excluding utilities (and often without so much as a parking space.) Hell, even renting a room around here and sharing a kitchen, bathroom, etc. with strangers is about $800 a month.

I could get a monthly mortgage payment on a house for the same sort of price (or even cheaper) than it’s going to cost me to live alone… assuming I had like 50k in the bank to give them upfront, of course.

It’s a fucking nightmare. And I’m starting to understand why so many people I know are in relationships they don’t actually want to be in or living with roommates that they can’t stand/don’t get along with. It’s not just about loneliness. It’s because what other option do they have? They need the financial assistance. Especially those working minimum wage because a “living wage” here is about 4 dollars an hour more than what minimum wage is.

I’m fortunate enough to be earning more than that - but at the same time I’m going to be really tight on money if I try and gain true independence rather than some illusionary version of it. Like, after paying for rent, utilities, car insurance, gasoline to get to/from work, and groceries I’m not going to have very much money left to spend on anything frivolous. And I certainly won’t be able to save money the way that I’m able to right now. I’ll essentially be back to living paycheque to paycheque again. And that fucking sucks. Especially now that I’m going to have to get a new computer.

I really don’t know what to do.

Signing a lease and forking over first & last month’s rent is going to practically obliterate my savings – and what’s left over I feel I should hold onto in case of some sort of emergency (like my car breaking down) so my only options are to either save up at such a slow rate that I’ll be able to afford a computer in a year or two… or finance one. But even then… would I be able to afford the monthly payment?

Because computers, like vehicles & rent, have become insanely expensive these days. So much so that even if I maxed my credit card out I wouldn’t be able to purchase one. I mean, hell, even a GTX1080 like the one I have is more expensive now than it was when I bought it back in 2017. So in order to upgrade rather than just replace what I already have (guess I should say had) I’d probably be looking at having to pay about 4k. Or even more. And in order to replace rather than upgrade it would probably be about 2k.

Like I said, I really don't know what to do. And it’s honestly humiliating/embarrassing to even be talking about it all like this because it feels like as a man the solution is simple: make more money. Like, being in this sort of situation is emasculating in a way that I cannot articulate. Hence the reason for that aforementioned depression. Men are supposed to be all about self-reliance and providing for yourself. So I feel like a complete failure in that regard - because despite the fact that I’m doing better at it than almost anyone else I’m friends with, I’m not doing better than them if you consider their income as the combined income of them and their partner/roommate. Like, a teenage couple who are both working full time and receiving minimum wage have a combined income that is slightly higher than my one friend who has a union job. Let that sink in - you’re financially just as well off shacking up with someone as you would be by learning a trade & joining a union. But the even worse part is that there are ways I could be earning even more than I am right now and I know that. There are careers that I’m qualified for & capable of doing - but pursuing them would take me away from the area I currently call home. And I’m not yet ready to do that because, for various reasons, my heart is stuck here. And I can’t bring myself to leave it here. Not yet, at least.

It’s all got me stressed out & depressed as hell. And the worst part is that once I’m off work this evening instead of being able to go home and distract myself by playing CoD with my friends I’ll instead be messing around trying to get that damn computer functioning - all the while worrying about how I’m going to replace it.

Kinda ironic that I’m more stressed about money now then I ever was at any point during my years of minimum wage work.

I miss how much better things were pre-covid.

Evidently living through inflation & and global economic recession is about as fun as I thought it would be 🙃

#rant #thoughts

2 notes · View notes

addictedmanhwareader · 8 months

Text

Forbidden Love Across the Book

CHAPTER 1: DRUNK IN FRONT OF YOUR OCEAN EYES

You woke up from your slumber and got up. Now that you're fully awake, you were suddenly hit by a splitting headache.

"Ugh, wtf. This hangover is killing me."

As you looked to the side, you were shocked to find a man laying beside you in bed. You found yourself staring at his dazzling blonde hair, mesmerized by his beauty, thinking that he's probably prettier than you.

"What did I just-"

You snapped back to reality and was anxious about what could have happened last night.

'How did this happen?! Who is he?! What happened?! How did I get here?! Where is this?!..........'

As you continued to wonder about everything that could have led up to this point, he opened his beautiful ocean blue eyes and stared at you affectionately. You stopped the rambling in your head as you felt his stare. You looked at him and laughed nervously.

"You're awake! Umm.....good morning?"

While you were talking, you were slowly trying to avoid his eyes and look for something else to focus about. He noticed that you were acting weirdly and realized that you didn't remember what happened last night. He smirked and said, "You don't remember what happened last night, do you?"

"Hahahaha.....what do you mean?"

.....

Nervous by the intense moment of silence, "Seriously, did something important happen last night???"

"HAHAHAHA....I'm just messing with you. Actually, last night...

.....

Last night, at a party, you were barely walking straight and was almost talking gibberish because of how drunk you are. You saw the blonde man near the terrace and approached him.

"Hey, y-you're handsum!"

You fainted in front of him but he was able to catch you. Unfortunately, you spilled your wine on both of you. He didn't know who you were or if you had anyone with you so he was perplexed about what he was going to do. Since the venue was beside a hotel, he took you there and carried you to a room. He laid you in bed while he was changing his stained clothes. Then, he looked at you with curiosity, and accidentally fell asleep beside you because of how tired he was.

.....

...and that's how we both ended up here. Pretty crazy, right?"

You sighed in relief and replied, "It's so crazy that I almost couldn't believe it. I have to thank you for taking care of me and I should wash up before I leave. I'm grateful for your help and don't worry about the bill. I'll pay for it as an apology for causing trouble for you."

He smiled and told you, "Don't worry about it! I should head out first. Take care!"

"Thanks. Take care as well."

He shut the door as he went out and continued to walk out of the hotel giggling about what just happened.

.....

You were standing under the shower thinking about the events that just occurred.

"The heck just happened just now? Shit, I forgot to ask his name. Well, I guess I'll ask him if I ever see him again."

.....

Coincidentally, the blonde young man also thought the same thing. However, he regretted not asking your name. Unexpectedly, a limousine stopped in front of him and the window beside the front passenger seat was lowered down. The driver was a black-haired, brown-eyed man with a handsome yet boring facial expression. He looked at the blonde man and said,

"Sir Aziel, you'll be late for the meeting if you make your father- I mean, the CEO wait any longer."

The blonde man named Aziel glared at him, almost like he suddenly changed his personality. He opened the door and sat beside the driver's seat. "Hand me my schedule for today, and inform him that we're on our way."

"Here it is, Mr. President."

To be continued...

#original story #beginner writer #chapter 1

0 notes

mandareeboo · 3 years

Text

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not.

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me.

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky.

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster.

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs!

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly.

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong.

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

341 notes · View notes

heavenfordoms · 3 years

Text

”Innocent“ Hug (Deku x fem! Reader):

Pairing(s): Deku x reader

Warning(s): 18+ minors DNI, cussing, manga spoilers, riding, death, semi-public sex, eating out

Genera: angst to fluff to smut

A/N: wait this was actually fun and easy to write for me wtf

Fandom: My hero academia (boku no hero academia)

Glossary:

Y/n = your name

Summery: Bakugou looses his life in battle and y/n goes to comfort Deku, soon Deku ends up forgetting about Bakugou as y/n rides him

You sucked in a breath, holding it for a while as you stared at the villain in front of you. You where crouched down low so you knew that he couldn’t see you. But you sure saw him. Your quirk was called memory, you could memorize anything that you wanted. The downside to this quirk is that while your mind was full of knowledge your body was weak so it was no good for battle-training, another bad thing (or more annoying then anything) is that we can’t forget it, ever, even if you wanted to. You remember every single detail of your life and every single thing that has happened to this point in grave detail. Not like you wanted to remember it, but you felt so worthless that it was almost blood to memorize everything. Like how there where five street lamps outside the bar. They where dimly lit and flickered every five second, each one after the other. The one on the very right was the first to flicker then it would go all the way to the left. Sometimes the one in the very middle would shut off at random times as the other lamps brightly shone in the night-sky.

“Could you stop mumbling?!” Katsuki whisper-yelled at you. You slightly cringed at the blonde male’s words before nodding your head in a form of acceptance (for some reason people saw that as acceptance so you did as well).

Katsuki is a young man of average height for somebody his age, with a slim, muscular build, and a fair skin tone. He has short, spiky, ash-blond hair with choppy bangs that hang over his eyebrows. His eyes are sharp and bright red in color. His hero costume is composed of a tight, black, sleeveless tank top, with an orange "X" across the middle, forming a v-neck. There are two dots along the left line of his collar, indicating the support company that designed his costume. His costume also has a metallic neck brace worn with rectangular ends that have three holes on each side. His sleeves reach from within his large grenade-like gauntlets to his biceps. His belt, which also carries grenades, holds up his baggy pants with knee guards, below which he sports black, knee-high combat boots with orange soles and eyelets. His mask is jagged and black, and as it goes around his eyes, a large, orange-rimmed flare shape protrudes from each side.

You focused your eyes off of Kastsuki and onto Dabi, the villain who was standing guard outside the bar. Dabi is a fairly tall, pale young man of a slim, somewhat-lanky build, described to be in his early twenties. He has white hair with a few red streaks at the crown that spikes upward around his head, hanging low over his eyes, which are thin, turquoise in color, and heavily lidded. Before the reveal of his true identity, his hair was dyed black. His most striking features are undoubtedly the patches of gnarled, wrinkled, purple skin that cover much of his lower face and neck, all the way down past his collarbone, below his eyes and on his arms and legs due to him having a quirk at a early age and not knowing how to control it. These appear to be attached to the rest of his skin by multiple, crude surgical staples or hoop piercings. He has several silver cartilage piercings in both ears, and a triple nostril piercing on the right side of his nose. He also seems to be lacking earlobes on both sides of his ears upon close inspection, he wears a dark blue jacket with a high, ripped collar, and matching pants, cut off above his ankles, a pair of dark dress shoes on his feet. He also has a plain pale gray, scoop-neck shirt, below which a gray belt with a circular pattern wraps around his waist, a leather satchel attached at the back.

Nobody knew his real name, until now, Dabi had revealed himself as Touya Todoroki. Everyone now calls him Touya but it never settled right in your gut to call him that. His name was Dabi to you and it will always be Dabi. It didn’t matter if he did a big entry and say that he is part of the Todoroki’s Dabi didn’t seem like them. The Todoroki’s where a strict family with ruled set in place. Endeavor, now the number one hero, had tried to welcome his family with more open arms. You could tell that Dabi’s opening was not out of grief for his family but instead out of spite. Like saying to Endeavor that he needs to take a chill pill with this whole anime redemption arc thing that he has going on for himself (and you didn’t quiet disagree with the oriole scarred man either).

You often thought of life like a anime, it was easier to explain. If somebodies life was broken they just ended up in the wrong anime. It also helped reminded you that every villain has a backstory. You never got to see their perspective in things. You never got to see what happened to the villains after they got defeated. Nope. You never got to see that, maybe if people saw the villain’s side. Everyone would hate the hero‘s and build their own path just as villains do. They make a path that no one has ever gone on, slowly making it a dirt road and them turning it again into an actual road that everyone can go on. Villains never got the roadwork. Hero’s probably always destroy it.

“So what’s the plan?” You leaned in close to Katsuki and whispered in his ear, Kastuki tensed up next to you and sucked in a breath before looking at you through pointy eyes.

”I will distract scar-man while you go and get Deku from the bar.” Kastuki explained, you nodded your head ‘yes’ before you pointing in the direction you where going to go. Kastuki grunted to himself as he crawled slowly in the opposite direction. Sending explosion at Dabi’s face before ducking behind a large wooden tool-box that had the words ”Back Bend Inc” on it in Ariel black font. Although it had been there for so long that the black ink looked to be a dark smoky gray. You quietly padded off into the opposite direction, your head ducked and eyes darting every five seconds to catch every detail around you.

Silently, you slipped into the bar. There was a wooden plank that held up the first stand, it looked to be pretty normal from here. There was dark wine stands that had a light brown color to them. The walls where colored with a sand tan. Over by the bar there was stacks and stacks of different liquor that people could have. Above was the general black chalkboard menu, there was smeared blue chalk that said “SPECIAL: Burbon” the strong smell of liquor and whisky hung in the air. There was a cigarette hanging off the ledge, still lit and everything. It looked pretty normal, but there was a slight piece of the cigarette where it was unwrapped and that told you enough to not say ’fuck it’ and have a smoke break. Turning your head slowly you walked up to Kurogiri. Information began flooding in your head about the villains and the bar. Unluckily for you everyone noticed the smartness you had and quickly found out your quirk. They began to flood your Brian with information. Information that a kid didn’t want to hear. You heard everything when you where just in High School. Now, everyone hated your quirk, everyone fucking hated it. The people who raised you said that you where a monster and that they didn’t know you anymore. But the sad part was you didnt do anything wrong. After hours of racking through your mind you couldn’t find a single moment where you did something bad. “I need to see Tomura.” You stared blankly at the mist villain. Kurogiri's entire body is made out of a dark purple mist, save for his eyes, which are glowing yellow. He normally wears a very elegant suit with a tie and has a metal brace that goes from around his collarbone to just below his eyes. It was pretty simple description of the villain, but there wasn’t much to him.

“Now?“ The male inquired, a hint of annoyance traced his smooth and calming voice. His voice sounded a lot like a gently sea softly rippling in the waves. But in actuality he was more like a thundering storm as the large ocean waves crashed harshly against large dark-gray-almost-black rocks.

“Yes, it is important.” You answered, putting a fake smile across your face. You still heard the faint sound of explosions from Katsuki and knew that you didn’t have a lot of time. Katsuki only could hold off for fifteen minutes before he went full on battle mood. And the villains would definitely think at something is up. Kurogiri hummed thoughtfully before nodding his head in agreement and holding out his purple misted hand.

”Come on dear…” The man whispered soothingly and smiling up and down at you.

“Thanks!” You chirped getting up and going behind the bar, following the villain down the stairs that creaked underneath your feet.

“BOSS!! Somebody wanted you!!” Kurogiri called, you took a deep breath before flinching as you looked into the villains base.

It was the same red bricks that seemed to be different colors every brick that was placed down to make the wall of the bar. There was smooth fake wood counter with clean royal red plush bar stools with the smallest backs on them. There was a few hero posters scattered around the base, one medium sized All Might poster hung to the right of a small screen TV. The dull gray light picketed on and off as the headlights didn’t provide much protection against the dark loom of everything. Different types of bottles hung on narrowed shelves behind the bar. Right next to the bar was a metal door, the window had cages around it and a long shiny knob that went down the left side. To the right of the door was a old faction radio station with LED lights surrounding it. It was currently playing Take Me to Church, apparently just starting to play it seeing how the introduction was still on. You narrowed your eyes before leaning against the red brick wall and giving everyone a swept gaze. All of the villains names that where forced to memorize came to your head all of a sudden.

Himiko Toga was standing in the farthest left, spinning in the red barstools.

Himiko is a relatively petite, fair-skinned girl who is very prone to blushing and is frequently described as to having a rather pretty face. She has slightly inward-tilting bright yellow eyes with thin slits, making them somewhat resemble those of a cat, and her wide mouth is also rather feline, as both her upper and lower canines are more pointed and longer than the rest of her teeth, giving her a vampire-like appearance. Her hair is a pale, dirty ash-blonde and is styled into two messy buns, with numerous wild strands sticking out at all angles from their centers and where they’re fastened, a straight fringe and two chin-length side bangs to frame her face. Himiko’s outfit consist of a plain seifuku with a Kansai collar, both the skirt and the shirt dark blue with a double white trim, which is paired with a red scarf that she ties loosely below. Over this, she wears an oversized beige cardigan with a rather long hem and cuffs, and pockets on either side, the right one shown to hold a number of trinkets on either a keychain or a cellphone strap. She sports knee-length black socks and dark brown dress shoes with thick heels, the same as the outdoor uniform shoes students traditionally wear in Japanese schools.

Tomura was standing next to Himiko, a bored expression clouding his features.

Tomura is a slim man with deathly pale skin, tinged yellow, and wrinkled a great deal around his eyes. His lips are chapped and uneven, a small mole on the right underneath, with visible scars on his right eye and under his lip. He has messy grayish-blue hair of varying lengths, the longest clumps reaching to about his shoulders, left hanging over his face in uneven waves. His eyes are normally obscured, but when visible, they are usually stretched wide in a rather maniacal manner, their bright red irises are very small.

Interestingly, when Tenko was at the age of five, he bore a striking resemblance to Izuku Midoriya, with his blue hair originally being dark black in color, while also having dried patches of skin around his eyes, though his lips were shown to be healthy in appearance. After his Quirk manifested, his appearance changed giving him a wrinkled face and changing his hair color.

Nobody else was in the base, the rest of the villains where busy surviving customers or dealing with Bakugou.

Then you saw him

Deku…

Deku has been a classmate of yours for a while, although you guy’s rarely talked to each other you always admired his strength and wisdom. Soon he became the number one hero and you became the second, Bakugou and Todoroki following closely behind. The only real reason you where able to make it to number two was due to the popularity votes for citizens. Everyone liked you, they loo up to you. So rationally you often teamed up with Deku. He was not good with the citizens since he never got a chance to talk to them due to the fact that he broke his bones in battle often but his quirk was amazing. And you didn’t have a lot of strength so that gave you time to connect with the citizens. The two of you working together helped everyone live a better place. Now seeing him tied up and helpless, it made you pretty angry.

“I would love to sit here and chat, but I got a hero to save!” You smirked as you raced on ahead and grabbed Deku, pulling him out of the chains before the villains had any time to react. Standing next to the hero you where slightly taller (mind you he hasn’t grown since high school so that wasn’t really anything to brag about being taller then him).

”HELLPPP!!!” A scream shouted from Kastuki, your eyes widened as you sprinted off to get the number three hero. Deku closely followed you as he got his quirk ready. But by the time that you rushed out you knew it was too late. Katsuki had been crushed by the blue flames that wrapped around his body.

“KACCHAN!!!” Deku screamed, DabI whipped his head around and started at the number one hero.

”You idiot!“ You hissed as you grabbed Deku’s arm and made a run for it. Dragging him out into the open where a bunch of other hero’s where’s standing just in case something happened. You noticed that they where busy on their phones and probably didn’t even hear Katsuki screaming for help. You rushed Deku to the side of the red brick building and waited for a ambulance to come pick Deku up. Once they carried him away you narrowed your eyes at the pro-hero’s.

”I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IF YOU ACT LIKE THAT AGAUN!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH STRESS YOU PUT US THROUGH??? DYNAMIGHT COULD HAVE STILL BEEN ALIVE IF YOU HAVEN’T SAT ON YOUR ASS ALL DAY AND ACT LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING SLUTS!! I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO RIP ALL OF YOUR HEADS OFF, FEED THEM TO MY DOG, MAKE MY DOG SHIT OFF A BRIDGE AND SEE THE SHIT SMEERED ON THE TIRE, GET A LIGHTER AND BURN THE CAR DOWN, TAKE THE ASHES AND PUT THEM IN A GROUND, I WILL TAKE THE GROUND WHERE THE ASH IS AND MAKE IT A STRIPER CLUB, AND THEN GET A EXORCIST TO PUT YOU TO HELL!!!” You started cussing them off, the pro-hero’s shuffled uncomfortably and looked at each other with weird stares. They knew that they where in shit when they pissed you off. You weren’t very easy to piss off so when somebody pissed you off they knew they were in deep horse shit.

*** You rushed into the hospital bed where Deku was at. Your breath coming out in short puffs as you stood on the edge of the male’s bed and watched as thick tears streamed down his face. You grew soft and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Calm down baby…I am here…” You reassured, slowly climbing on the bed and getting on him. Deku gulped thickly at the closed distance between the two of you and began sweating nervously.

“Y/n!“ You yelped, trying to scoot back. You looked up at him and gave the male a cocky smile.

“What? Are you suggesting something?” You leaned in and whispered in Deku‘s ears. Deku whined before nodding his head ‘yes‘ you rolled your eyes and began to unbutton your shirt. Popping out a few buttons in the process. Gently, you pulled down your panties and threw them to the side, lifting up your skirt and showing your ass to Deku. Deku trembled slightly and started licking at the entrance, slowly, he began eating you out. You moaned quietly before bucking Your hips backwards. Deku gasped before moaning also and continuing to do his work. Once Deku are you out for a few minutes you pulled away and Deku looked at you with large puppy dogs eyes. His Greek emerald eyes blown wide in lust.

You leaned down and took off his pants with your teeth, dragging your nails up his clothed hero uniform shirt. Deku bucked his hips up and whimpered. You smirked into the material. Once you actually got the pants down you slipped off his boxers and starting to get settled on Deku.

You and Deku had this off and on thing. You guy’s weren’t dating each other and fucked other people but it was always a delight when you got to fuck him. A smile always formed on his lips when you topped him. He always thought that everyone was going to leave him to be the top, so it was reassuring when he saw that somebody cared about him enough to dom him and show him who is in control.

You where snapped back into reality when Deku gasped in shock as you took him all in, groaning slightly at the fact that you took him with such ease because he has been in you so much. Slowly you waited for yourself to adjust (which didn’t take that long) before you started bouncing up and down. Deku threw his head back and moaned loudly as felt your walls clench around him. You kept bouncing on him up and down in a rhyme pattern.

“Come on baby, thought you liked it…” You pouted, looking down on the green haired hero and smiling cockily.

101 notes · View notes

waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

Text

hey so “find me” dropped on premiere and i just watched it, so you know what that means??

it’s review time!

(super rambly as usual) spoilers under the cut

before i say anything, let me say, IT’S FINE, Y’ALL. as predicted. people are gonna be dramatic bc there are daryl/leah scenes, but like...we been knew? and some of them were rly important caryl-wise. (tbh, the episode was kind of boring and just a set-up for other stuff, lmfao)

okay, review:

opening credits, which i think most of us have already seen, were cute. obvi there was some weird tension with daryl that leads to the coming-to-a-head thing at the end, but their banter is still cute af

they went fishing and daryl’s reaction to carol was adorable, and there’s an important parallel later on, so bookmark this

similarly, there’s an important parallel to carol’s “the dead catch up to us eventually”/daryl’s “i ain’t gonna let it”, so bookmark that, too

dog is the instigator for the flashbacks, so if you wanna blame anyone, blame him. he races to the cabin, which for some reason daryl, who spent five years in this forest, seemed surprised to see? didn’t you literally map out that whole area, my dude? whatever

cue flashback!

i might have the scene order mixed up, but i think it starts with daryl being all sad by himself, and then dog as a puppy shows up and he’s like “!!! a dog!!!” which is v cute, and then he runs back off. we don’t meet leah yet

we see carol and daryl having a conversation while standing on opposite sides of a river for no reason except to probably symbolize distance or maybe covid, lol. the conversation basically goes:

carol: things are different

daryl: yeah

carol: how long are you gonna be out here?

daryl: -shrug emoji-

carol: i get why you’re out here, and i’d join you if things weren’t...

daryl: different

carol: yeah

daryl: yeah. anyway, it’s gonna rain, and also i’m having emotions, so ttyl

the end

at some point we see daryl sitting with an extremely unhappy face while it pours rain on him in the dark, and i want that as a reaction gif IMMEDIATELY

also the rain destroys his “where in the world is rick grimes?” map, which makes him v upset and scream-y, and we get the idea that he might be going a bit bonkers being all alone looking for a dead (or, ig, kidnapped by helicopter) man

in present day carol finds the note, and is like “oh dunk, she lived here??” so she knew about leah, and daryl’s like, “i already told you everything,” and carol’s like, “no you didn’t,” so we go back to flashbacks (but i’m still not sure what parts carol didn’t already know?? whatever, it’s not that important)

i’m just gonna hit the highlights of the flashbacks bc they were not that thrilling:

first time daryl meets leah the dog leads him to her cabin, and leah ties him to a chair and holds a gun to his head being like, “what are you doing on my land?” bc apparently you can claim whole forests during the apocalypse, and daryl says very little, and eventually she lets him go

next time dog finds daryl and he brings her back and leah is like, “the dog likes you” and they’re kinda flirty, and then daryl says very little and leaves

next time daryl is surrounded by walkers and leah shows up and helps and they hide in a tree and are awkwardly close to each other and daryl cannot handle the close physical contact so when the walkers pass he says very little except to tell her to never come back again, lmfao

the next flashback is my favorite bc daryl just fucking

goes to leah’s cabin and throws a fish at the door???

i laughed for ten years

he throws a fucking fish and then stands there for a minute like “is she gonna notice that i gave her a fish??” like, no, dumbass, you didn’t even knock, you just threw a fucking fish at her fucking door, what is wrong with you??

no wonder it’s taken him and carol so long if he thinks throwing fish at people is a smooth move. boy has NO fucking game

anyway, leah gets him back by finding him and throwing the fish at his head, being like, “wtf, don’t throw fish on my porch?” which, fair, leah

IMPORTANT CARYL PARALLEL (from here on out known as “caryllels”) #1: so earlier i mentioned the carol fish thing, and apparently the same thing happened with leah, where she speared a fish on her first try and daryl was like “tf?” v blatant “we are supposed to be thinking about carol and daryl’s relationship during this scene” sort of thing

leah’s backstory is bland. had a family, they got eaten or disappeared or something. she, her adopted son, and dog’s mom got away, but the kid was bit, and died the same day dog was born, bc ig when god closes one door, he replaces your dead son with a puppy, or however the idiom goes

ONLY PART THAT GOT ME LEGIT EMOTIONAL:

leah asked daryl who he lost, and he says, “my brother”

asklfdjaslfdjskl

god i miss rick

i hated rick for so long and now i miss him so much

but i digress

IMPORTANT CARYLLEL #2: leah and daryl have the same “the dead get you eventually”/”i ain’t gonna let it” conversation as caryl had earlier, only daryl is playing the role of carol in this scenario, so again we’re supposed to be comparing the two relationships. lemme get through the rest of the summary and then i’ll tell you my opinion on what that means

fuck what even happens next?

i have these out of order bc they were all the fucking same, but the two of them get closer, and there is the vaguest suggestion of sex ever. you literally only see daryl’s hand

then jump-cut to them sitting at the table being emo, ig bc daryl was gonna go back to look for rick for a bit, and leah is like “who do you belong with? your brother you won’t stop looking for? your family that you left? [side note: that seemed rather pointed, like, “hey hoe, you abandoned your family, that was kind of a dick move”] or me?” and he says he doesn’t know, and she’s like “yeah you do, now choose”

jump-cut to caryl scene where carol finds him at the river and says that she won’t be visiting as much, and daryl’s like “k” and they have a brief argument where daryl’s all snippy, like, “what? do you want my permission for you to move on with your life? i’m not still emo about the fact that you’re moving on with your life, and i also don’t think it’s contextually significant that every time you show up in my flashbacks you explicitly mention that you’re married and have a kid,” and carol is like, “bro, you need to Get Your Shit Together and come home”

jump-cut to daryl having what i’m assuming is an epiphany that carol/fam have all moved on while he was out being emo, and so he decides to go be with leah, except, plot twist! she’s gone. the picture of her and her son is gone, but dog is still there. daryl leaves the note, which says, “i belong with you, find me”

for those freaking out about the wording about the note, may i remind you that she specifically asked, “do you belong x, x, or with me?” so he was just answering the question

aaaaaand back to present day

carol is like, “what do you think happened to her?” and daryl is all -shrug emoji-, and then she’s like, “...do you think she might have just...you know...left?” and daryl gets rull offended, which was kind of funny

(she probably just left, bud)

carol tells daryl to stop thinking that when people leave it’s bc of him, and connie’s name gets thrown into the mix, and daryl gets a “oh here we fucking go” look on his face, and it sets him off

he said basically what we were already spoiled for. “you just want to run, you don’t know when to stop, i shouldn’t have taken you off the boat bc you still just want to run” etc

and carol looks fucking HEARTBROKEN, which hurt me, and she goes into the other room and we end the episode with daryl staring forlornly out of the window

the end

okay

so quick analysis

i think the significance of this episode is supposed to be so we have an understanding of why daryl is suddenly so !teamfamily, and !teamfuture, and how badly he wants carol to be there with him. at one point, one of them even says, “this isn’t about leah, or connie,” or anyone but the two of them. the title “find me” feels significant, bc the whole episode is daryl grappling with where he’s supposed to go, and what his purpose is, and by the end, he says to carol, “i know where i belong,” (implying, with her and the fam), pulling us full-circle. in the first flashback onward he is lost, but by the end he is found -cue amazing grace-

daryl and leah were flirty, but to me it felt very much like something that was just being used as daryl character development. we barely got anything that juicy between the two of them (except the fish throwing thing, that was amazing), and i still don’t think that it would make any sense, regardless of the showrunner, to pair daryl up with some rando after having so many other choices that people would have preferred. i don’t think we’re meant to #endgame ship it, so much as we are supposed to be like, “oh, ok, daryl learned the power of family and stability and leveled up, -you know what that is? growth gif-” as a result, i literally have no idea what leah’s role is gonna be in s11, but i don’t think it’ll be a huge plot point

so now we firmly know where daryl stands. he is all about moving forward, not looking back, and doing the best he can, and he’s frustrated bc when he took carol off the boat he wanted her to be in the same place as him so that they could grow together, but she wasn’t and isn’t there yet

so my guess is that what’s next for carol’s storyline is her reaching that same zen-level daryl’s at

once they’re both there, then they get to ride off into the sunset and make passionate love under the moon casting shadows over the vast desert wasteland

whew

anyway

tl;dr: idk, episode was fine, if not kinda boring. lots of caryllels. can i go back to writing my vietnam war au now?

the end

(stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k21),

-diz

#thank god i can move on with my life now #caryl #caryl spoilers #twd s10 spoiler #dunlap tp

97 notes · View notes

jessikahathaway · 3 years

Text

Vegas, Baby - Part I

Pairing: Kim Taehyung X Reader

Genre: Mafia!AU, Romance, Smut (Slow Burn)

Warnings: Explicit Language.

Summary: After four years, you have been let go from your job. Taking a chance you head to Vegas to make the best of a bad situation. A situation that only gets worse.

“Sorry Miss Y/N, but we are going to have to let you go,” your boss’ monotone voice echoed in your ears.

Four years of your life, wasted. Not that you particularly enjoyed the job, but it paid your bills. And that was what counted at the end of the day. Now, what were you going to do? Your parents had already said your room was still yours if you needed to move back in. It was sweet of them really, but you didn’t want to move back in with them, you wanted your freedom and you wanted to be on your own. But what other options did you have without losing everything?

“Your separation pay will come through at the end of the week,” your ears perked up. The separation pay would be a nice amount no doubt. This financial firm didn’t come without its perks.

“Very good, sir. Thank you for four years,” you said, trying not to let the bitter tone enter into your voice.

“You can show yourself out. See that your desk is cleaned out by the end of the shift,” he said, turning his back to you.

Quickly you let yourself out, heading toward your desk.

“So, what did dickhead want?” Namjoon, your table mate, asked.

“I got canned,” you whispered, gathering up your stuff.

“What? No way, let me go in there,” he said, preparing to stand up before you stopped him.

“Joon, honestly, it’s fine. I’ve wanted to quit for a while anyways,” you confess.

“But, Y/N, it’s bullshit that they fire you. If that bimbo in the receptionist office can keep her job, you can too,” he said, fuming.

“Joon, seriously, I’m fine. Do you see me crying over it?” You asked, smiling.

“You’re sure you’re good?”

“I’m positive,” you answered.

“Okay, if you say so,” he responded.

“Just let me get my shit and blow this popsicle stand,” you said, grinning at him.

“Whatever you say, Y/N, I’ll miss you here,” he said, sitting back in his seat.

“You’re acting like you don’t have my number or something,” you said, laughing lightly.

“It won’t be the same without you here to annoy,” he said, giving you a dimpled smile.

“I know, you like to do that a lot,” you remarked, throwing a good natured glare his way.

“Well, I’m good at what I do then,” Namjoon stated.

“Which should be working, don’t need you following me out the door,” you said, sighing as you collected the remainder of your important items.

The rest could be left here, consider it a gift to the next unfortunate person who has to work here.

“Hey, text me okay?” He said, giving you a little wave.

“Will do, see ya Joon,” you said, returning the wave before heading towards the door.

—

Two weeks later you found yourself on a plane heading to Las Vegas.

How did you find yourself here? Well, it was a rather impulsive decision. But you and Namjoon had decided to take the rest of your earnings from your job and make a vacation out of it. You were taking a week in the US and spending time in Vegas to get a little wind in your sails before moving back in with your parents.

Did that take what little wind you had in your sails out? Maybe, but that's besides the point. This was your way of giving the middle finger to your old job by blowing your money on something less than recommended.

A trip to Vegas was exactly your soul needed after four years of behaving like a good little desk minion. Years of filing and coffee runs, all going to be blown to smithereens. Thank God for that too. You didn’t want to spend another minute thinking about what had been, only what was going to be the best week of your life.

You had a couple friends that lived in the states, and you were going to meet up with them after landing and unpacking at your hotel. Jessi and Lily were waiting anxiously for you to arrive.

Jessi: Bitch, I can’t believe you’re actually coming. After all these years of begging, pleading and what not, you’re dumbass comes here on a whim. But, still excited to see youuu xoxoxo.

YOU: R00D. I was working and busy with trying to further my career that capped off at a measly management position. Where the hell were you m8?

LILBITCH: Okay, it is like midnight here so can yall quit your yapping and do the sleep sleep? K thnx.

YOU: Sorry Lily, Jessi decided to be a boob in the group chat. Rest young one.

Jessi: ExCuSE? I Did NO SucH thInG?!?

YOU: You did! And are still doing it!

LILBITCH: Can yall argue in a separate thread plz?

Jessi: Nah, bugging you is wayyyy more entertaining.

LILBITCH: I pick the worst friends. Consider yourself disowned.

YOU: Children children, I come to bring peace to all four nations.

Jessi: The only thing you bring peace to is a party, and that’s what we’re going to fix while you’re here. You are going to get wasted and you are gonna like iiitttt >:(

LILBITCH: Jessi what are you even doing up?

Jessi: Sleep is for the weak.

LILBITCH: No, it’s for people. You know, who aren’t fucked in the head??

YOU: We gonna ignore the fact that she practically said I don’t know how to party?

Jessi: I am perfectly sane!

LILBITCH: Yeah right....

YOU: So we are ignoring that deep insult? K great.

Jessi: Sorry Y/N, it’s just been so long since we’ve all been together like this I’m so excited. I’m gonna put you in my man stealing clothes and you’re gonna get dicked down while you’re here! Yasssss, I love my plan already.

YOU: THERE IS A CHILD IN HERE!

LILBITCH: Woman we’re both older than you. You’re the child. Who doesn’t know how to party apparently.

YOU: And here I was thinking you loved me Lily. This hurts. This hurts deep.

Jessi: So, slutty clothes shopping here we come???

LILBITCH: I read the word shopping and I’m so down.

Jessi: yAS

YOU: Some of my dearest friends. Insult me then demand to dress me like a blowup doll? WTF??

Jessi: Not a blow up doll! Is there a tamer version of those Lily?

LILBITCH: I mean not really.

Jessi: You’ll be the sexiest blow up doll out there!

YOU: I don’t like this.

“Ladies and gentlemen we are beginning our ascent. Please silent all devices and buckle up! Thank you for choosing Korean Airways! Enjoy your flight!”

YOU: Well you two can think of more diabolical ways to get me laid and I will be none the wiser. See you girls soon. Love ya! <3

You shut your phone off and let your head rest against the cushioned seat. Letting the rumble of the cabin lull you to sleep.

“Y/N!!!!” Jessi squealed as she came running for you.

You’d slept most of the plane ride, but now you were stiff in the joints and her frame colliding with your own sent the two of you tumbling.

“Oof, Jess! What the hell man, you’re gonna break me,” you whined as the older woman started squeezing the daylights out of you.

“Alright pda couple break it up,” Lily’s voice filled your ears.

You stood quickly and brought her into a hug too.

“It’s good to see you,” you whispered, rubbing her back as you separated.

“Good to see you too, have you lost weight?” she asked, making you spin around for confirmation.

“Maybe maybe not, I wasn’t exactly eating the healthiest diet when I was at the firm so, maybe I just gained it in different places,” you laughed.

There was a prickle on the back of your neck. Your guard went up and you looked around. But didn’t see anyone staring. Although, you were uncomfortable.

“Come on, let’s get going. We have a lot to do before tonight!” Jessi said, practically dragging you out of the terminal.

“Jesus Jessi I have ligaments and bones, those things can break you know!” you whined, but she didn’t relent.

Climbing into the car you still felt a chill of fear run up your spine. But didn’t let it bother you. Right now was about you and your friends, not being a little paranoid after a long flight. Plus, you were abroad, there were tons of people around and that was more than likely throwing your radar off a little bit.

“Okay, mall here we come!” Lily said with excitement in her voice.

“But what about heading to the hotel to unpack?” you asked.

“Oh, we cancelled your reservation. Did you know you saved almost a thousand bucks if you stay with me?” Jessi said.

“Huh? What do you mean? Guys I don’t wanna burden you!”

“You aren’t going to be, our most recent roommate has vacated the room and left it in perfect condition. It can be yours if you decide you wanna stay for a while?” Lily suggested with a brow wiggle.

“You two are impossible,” you complained, leaning your head against the window.

“Impossibly smart,” Jessi narked.

You sighed as you watched the cityscape pass you by. Jessi and Lily chatted about nothing it seemed like, but it was comforting that you all fell back into rhythm so quickly after so long of not seeing one another. It made your heart squeeze painfully at the thought of being apart. But you were here now, and that’s what mattered.

Lily was telling you all about her work at the little cafe she co-owns. She handles the customer service end while her partner handles the more... businessy aspect.

“And then one of my servers swears she saw a ghost of an old lady in the back room. The building used to be a house but now we have renovated it and turned it into the cafe like I’ve told you. But, I looked into it. And a lady did actually die in there in the fifties. How fucking crazy is that!? And, get this, if it hadn’t happened within the last ten years, the realtors don’t have to divulge that information. How fucked,” Lily sighs.

Jessi pulls into the parking lot of a large shopping center and you girls all get out, wallets at the ready.

Linking arms with them you smiled brightly and started walking towards the door.

About an hour later, your feet were killing you and you hadn’t even tried anything on, much to the dismay of your friends.

“Come on Y/N, you need to at least try one thing on in this next shop,” Jessi pleaded.

“Why? I packed clothes you know?” you said,

“And knowing you they won’t be attention getting enough,” Lily commented.

“Rude, you don’t know what I got,” you scoffed.

Lily rolled her eyes and picked you up off the comfortable bench you had settled down on and now you were being dragged off of it like a leech of an arm.

“Come on Y/N, I have the perfect place in mind,” Jessi announced, leading the pack towards another stylish little boutique.

“If I try something on will you guys quit pestering me?” you whined out.

“Maybe, depends on if we like it or not,” Lily’s voice rang in your ear.

Somewhere, deep down, you knew letting them drag you to a shopping mall was a bad idea. But you hadn’t realized how bad until they had you dressed to the gills in sequins, sparkles and everything glittery.

“Guys this stuff is itchy!” you said, itching your thigh, that was barely covered, for emphasis.

“Oh come on, Y/N, you look great! It really shows off those curves!” Jessi complimented, spinning you around.

“I brought the same style of dress, but in a popping red color. It will compliment her eyes for certain,” the lovely assistant of the boutique said. Of course they were trained to reach for the priciest piece they had, and tell you it would look good on you. But hey, A for effort.

“Oooh! Y/N, try it on, try it on!” Jessi yelled.

“Shh, we are in a store!” you scolded.

“God you’re worse than my mom,” Jessi rolled her eyes.

“Am not. I’m just trying to contain my two four year olds!” you said exasperated.

“As the youngest isn’t it your responsibility to be rambunctious. Getting into all kinds of trouble?”

“That’s what we’re here for Lily, she’s had a stick up her ass for too long called adulting,” Jessi teased.

“Remind me why I’m friends with you again?” you asked, teasing right back.

Jessi just laughed and went to go peruse the racks again. Lily snuggled up beside you and wrapped her arms around you tightly.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

Smiling you gave her a tight hug. “I missed you guys too.”

Jessi came back with a sexy white number that has cut off sleeves that draped off your shoulder elegantly and it was a little longer than the others they’d thrown you in during that afternoon.

Seeing your eyes looking at the dress with interest, Jessi knew she had won.

“Wanna know the best part?” Jessi asked, raising a perfectly sculpted brow in your direction.

“What?” you asked.

“It was on the sale rack!” she smirked.

“Okay give it here,” you said, holding your hand out. Jessi smiled and plopped the dress in your hand without hesitation.

You shuffled into the dressing room and pulled the garment on. You looked at yourself in the mirror and almost fell over. This wasn’t you. The girl looking back at you was a beautiful woman, someone with poise and elegance. Or was that what the dress conveyed? Because you felt almost empowered in this dress...

“Okay, show us what you got!” the girls said, waiting for you outside the dressing room.

Stepping down onto the floor the girls were silent.

“Well?” you asked, feeling a little self conscious at all their staring.

“Y/N, if you don’t buy that dress then I will and force you into it tonight,” Jessi said, still staring.

“Does it look alright?’ you asked, tugging at the fabric.

“Yes now quit fidgeting! We’re trying to figure out what shoes, make up and hair we need to do,” Lily said, settling your hands at your side.

“I think a red pump,” Jessi said, running off to one side of the store.

“And a red lip to match!” Lily echoed.

“I love the way you think,” Jessi said back.

You looked down at your bare feet on the floor and sighed.

“I don’t know, should we go clubbing tonight? I just got here and kinda want to-”

“Not bail out on us and have the fun you wanted to have by coming to Vegas?” Lily offered.

You sighed and rubbed your face. Jessi came back with a crimson red pair of heels that already made your feet hurt. But you decided to quiet down and just enjoy the time you had with your friends. It was so nice to bicker with them and laugh, it really made your heart soar to be here with them. Even if they were forcing you into some uncomfortable shoes. At their cores, they were great girls, and you were so lucky to have them in your life.

“There, see how it lengthens your legs?” Jessi pointed out.

“See how it will destroy my ankles?” you said back.

They just laughed and you guys took everything to the checkout counter. The clerk cashed you out and you ladies were on your way.

“I’m so glad you bought the shoes too! They look so killer with that dress, and we’re going to make you the prettiest thing at the club tonight! Not that you need much help,” Lily smirked, linking her arms with yours.

You shoved her a little but walked down the hall with her happily.

Until you felt that chill that had run down your spine earlier, reappear. You stopped in your tracks and turned, certain that someone was watching you. But no one was there... It made unease churn in your stomach. Jessi seemed to notice your hesitation and came over beside you.

“Something wrong?” she asked, trying to look in a similar direction as you.

“No no, it’s nothing. I’m fine,” you smiled weakly, going to move forward.

“If you’re sure,” Lily answered, following close behind.

“Yeah,” you confirmed.

After that you only went to one more department store and found nothing of interest, so you guys decided to call it. Walking back to the car, Jessi ran ahead to make sure that it was unlocked. Lily and you walked at an even pace, just enjoying each other's company.

Loading everything into the car you took off down the road for Jessi and Lily’s house.

Slowly, the sensation of being watched faded from your mind. And the three of you went back to your bickering and teasing.

Finally, you pulled into the driveway.

Jessi and Lily were quick to help you with your luggage, making sure everything got into the spare bedroom. And then, the work began.

“Babe, we love you, but you gotta take a shower,” Jessi said, pinching her nose for effect.

“Rude, I literally took a shower before I boarded the plane,” you told them.

“Yeah, and you smell like plane and food court, so go. Cleanse thyself,” Lily commented, looking at her phone.

“Fine fine,” you agreed, heading towards the bathroom.

Jessi handed you the dress and some undergarments and went into the kitchen.

The hot water felt heavenly on your body, washing off the grim of travel and shopping. It was nice. The foamy soap on your head invigorating you. You shaved every part of your body known to man, and woman to be honest.

But when you stepped out of the shower. Instead of the normal underwear you had picked out, was something else.

Sorry, but we had to burn those granny panties. Wear this instead! We bought them today while you were busy being one with the bench. We know they’ll fit you!

Jessi & Lily

“Those little shits!” you exclaimed, looking down in despair at your underwear option now.

Pink lacy panties were set on the bathroom counter. How did you not even hear them come in!? You looked at the bra and were certain that you’d be able to see a nipple through the lace that was supposed to be covering your shit. But apparently the quest to get you laid was a serious endeavor in their minds. So, to humor them, you put on the garments. That, in fact, fit perfectly.

“Those creeps,” you shuddered, wondering how your friends had known your exact size.

Pulling on the dress you bought earlier, you marveled at yourself in the mirror. You looked really good. And just as before, you felt as if you could conquer the world, in just this dress. But, you knew the only thing you’d conquer was maybe a bar scene, which would work. For now.

Walking out you found the nasty culprits of the underwear heist sitting around a vanity full of makeup.

“Wanna tell me why I’m wearing underwear that barely covers anything?” you said, venom in your tone.

“Because you put it on,” Jessi said, with a smirk.

“You guys are so fucking nosy,” you whined, throwing your headback in a mock tantrum.

“We aren’t nosy enough, when was the last time you got dicked down?” Jessi asked, suddenly serious.

Scandalized you made a squeak of discomfort.

“Wh-Why the sudden curiosity??” you asked.

“Because, we gotta know how out of practice you are,” Lily said, as if it were obvious.

“I’m not out of practice!” you shrieked.

“So it was recently then?” Jessi smiled.

“No! I mean-shut up!” you cried.

“When was the last time Y/N,” Lily said calmly.

“Three years ago,” you huffed, crossing your arms in defense.

The two girls almost choked.

“THREE YEARS!?” Jessi screamed.

“I’m right here, there’s no need to scream,” you said.

“BUT Y/N, THAT’S THREE YEARS,” Jessi yelled again.

“I can tell time, Jessi,” you commented.

“How? You’re practically a nun,” Lily snorted.

“I am not!” you defended.

“Sweetheart, listen we are doing this out of love,” Jessi shushed you, cradling you to her chest. “We will help you. Sit down.”

“This is all very offensive, just so ya’ll know,” you said, pointing to them with an accusing finger.

“Shut up and sit down,” Lily said, grabbing her hair appliances.

You settled into silence, letting the girls do whatever they wanted to you. You found it was easier this way than fighting with them the whole time. As much as you loved them, these girls were bossy and pushy. But, you wouldn’t have them any other way. They helped even you out, making sure you got out there and did have some fun in your life.

Lily was in the process of doing your hair and styling it the way she thought would work the best, while Jessi was deeply focused on doing your makeup. You saw the crimson colored lipstick come out and knew it was as Lily recommended earlier.

Jessi painted it on your lips with a precision that was awe inspiring. You just stayed still and let them continue their work. Enjoying the transformation happening before your eyes. Before, you were a nervous little office worker. Now, you were a girl on a mission. What mission was still to be decided, but it made you feel powerful. Not saying that you didn’t feel powerful without it, but it was nice to get dressed up every once in a while and to feel sexy.

Lily put down the hair products and smiled at her work.

“You look fucking hot,” she pointed out.

“Don’t make her smile. I'm working on the concealer around her lips,” Jessi whined.

“Sorry sorry, just, she’s really beautiful,” Lily smiled.

“We been knew,” Jessi smirked.

“Right right,” Lily said, going to gather the tights and shoes.

“Thanks Jessi,” you said as you stood up, stretching lightly.

You felt a light smack to your butt and you smiled back at her.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” she giggled.

“Alright ladies, we need to make a game plan for the night!” Lily announced as she walked back into the room.

“What do you mean?” you asked, raising a brow at her.

“Who wants to get laid, who wants to wing woman and who wants to be the sober one,” Lily said.

“Well, Y/N is the getting laid one,” Jessi confirmed.

“Did you ask Y/N if she wants to get laid?” you asked, pointing to yourself.

“Fine, Y/N, do you not want me to find you a fine specimen of man that could knock your socks off in the bedroom?” Jessi said.

“Well... I mean, it’s not that I don’t want that but...”

“But what?” Lily asked, coming to sit next to Jessi.

“I’m shy, I don’t really attract people. I’m more of a hang out in the corner until I’m drunk enough to approach someone type of gal,” you said, biting your lip.

“Don’t ruin my hard work,” Jessi warned.

“Sorry, nervous habit,” you answered, stopping the action quickly.

“Y/N, it’s all up to you, we don’t really have to go out but I thought this is what you came here for? To let loose and have some fun before moving back with your parents. But if all you wanna do is have a girls week then we can do that too... But, honestly you look amazing and any guy would be lucky to get with you,” Lily said.

You thought it over.

This is what you came here for. To let loose like she said. But now that it was happening you were retreating into office worker Y/N, not the badass you wanted to be for at least a week. So, you didn’t see the harm in getting laid. Honestly, it might get some of the pent up stress out of your system, and that sounded great.

“No, you guys are right. I wanted to come here to be free for a while. What’s the point in hiding in the corner when I can be the center of attention for once in my life. I say, let’s do it,” you said, confident.

Jessi squealed excitedly and clapped her hands.

“Yes! We are gonna be the best wingwomen you’ve ever seen Y/N! We’ll pick a great one out for you,” she said.

“She also has eyes, Jessi, she might find the one,” Lily chastised.

“Yes, yes sorry,” she said, shuffling through her closet in disinterest.

“Okay, so Jessi and I are both going to be wingwoman. It’ll be a shared effort so we can pick the best guy,” Lily announced.

“Right,” you said.

“But like Lily said, you have eyes. If you find someone you’re vibing with, let us know!” Jessi said back.

“Okay,” you agreed.

The rest of the evening was spent making out rules and exchanging safety measures to make sure no one got hurt or left behind.

This was going to be very fun.

#Kim Taehyung #BTS #Bangtan #Ficswithluv #Jesskia Hathaway #BTS fanfic #BTS Mafia Au #Mafia Au #Smut #V #Taehyung #V smut #Taehyung smut #slow burn

144 notes · View notes

couchpotatoaniki · 3 years

Text

Carry Me Home

Taehyung was the kind of person you never wanted in your life. Maybe you were right, after everything he had done to you. Now, he wants to fix things, no matter what he has to do.

Pairing: Badboy!Taehyung x Nerd!Reader Genre: ANGST, fluff if you squint hard enough, Highschool AU Warnings: swearing, suicide, blood, kinda suggestive, mentions of cheating, drug use, excessive use of alcohol, toxic relationship, reader is an orphan Based off the song: Care by Robot Koch Word count: 1.2k

A/N: rIGHT, I’ll be honest here. Don’t know wtf I even wrote. Just been feelin’ the feels and for some reason, this was the product of that. So if ya don’t get it, well, neither do I--

I DO NOT CONDONE NONE OF THE SHIT PULLED IN THIS, SO DON’T LET THIS KINDA CRAP HAPPEN TO YOU. Stay safe, especially in relationships, kiddos :((

Regrets are a burden for the future.

That’s what he always said. That was always the excuse he gave for doing the outlandish shit that he did.

But you still loved him anyway.

Taehyung didn’t deserve it. Your kindness. Your patience. You.

You still gave him your all even when he gave you nothing.

He loved a bit of fun. Doesn’t everyone? Parties and booze and hook-ups and drama. All adding to the thrill of it all, making life worth living. It was the big things, Taehyung believed, that made life... life.

He met you at the most inconvenient time, and yet you thought nothing of it. His reputation exceeded him, which was why you weren’t all that surprised to see him and another girl at the back of the school.

Yes, he saw you as an inconvenience at that time. But you couldn’t care less. Went about your day as usual. You weren’t so much as flustered when you accidently saw whatever the hell was going on there. It was none of your business and you didn’t want to get sucked up in Taehyung’s world.

You didn’t hate him--hell, you barely even knew the boy outside of passing whispers and he sure as hell didn’t even know you existed. You liked that. Being a ghost to people who had the world revolving around them, the important ones.

You loved a bit of peace. Doesn’t everyone? Tranquillity and contentedness and relaxation and calmness. The rarity of it all adding to the way it softened one’s heart, making life worth living. It was the small things, you believed, that make life... life.

You were a background character, and that is how you wanted it to stay.

Unfortunately, one of the main characters had forced himself into your story, and like the idiot you were, you fell for him--slowly... but you did nonetheless.

Eyes sparkled every time he remembered an insignificant thing about you. Lips quirked into a grin whenever he did something good. Fingers twitched the moment you saw his messy bed-hair.

Looking back now, Taehyung really didn’t see why you stayed with him. Only now did he noticed these things but ‘only now’ is just a coward’s way of saying ‘too late’.

Highschool was fun when he hadn’t met you. It was easy. He knew what he was doing. He knew how to handle himself enough not to die.

Then you had to walk in at the most inconvenient time. That was his first excuse. That it was you, not him, that came into their lives.

Upon reflection, as he stared out into the blurred scenery as the train rushed passed every bit of nature you loved, he knew that this was all his fault. He was the one who inquired about you after that incident. He was the one who pursued you because he didn’t know who you were and Taehyung knows everybody.

To him, you were just another bit of fresh meat. Game.

Then, after months of him annoying you, you gave in. Spent actual time together. He found himself opening up to you in ways he hadn’t done before. He believed, this relationship you had was something close to a therapist and patient... who often slept together.

Because you were you, you forgave him for things he didn’t deserve forgiveness for since he never really meant it when he mumbled his half-assed apology, promising to “never do it again.”

Coming to your place drunk nearly every night, taking all sorts of drugs, cheating on you. Using you to vent and never letting you vent your own troubles. Taehyung was just using you, but you let him because you were too considerate.

A goddamn doormat.

Making up excuses for him to your friends, that he never really had someone to confide in, never had a loving family to make him feel safe, never had the right crowd around him to help him change.

Your friends fought for you against you. They wanted you to be safe because you had your own troubles and adding the weight of another person who clearly did not care as much was bound to push you down into a spiral that would only end badly. You never even had a family, you never had that security from a young age to even now.

Taehyung didn’t want you to leave. He needed you. So he spent even more time with you. His intentions were selfish.

You taught him how to fall for the small things, which he could do whenever he needed a bit of peace in his fun life. Made him fall in love with baking pies and cakes. Made him fall for the rain pattering against the window and thunder strumming in the air. Made him fall in love with taking walks outside on a lovely sunny day.

Made him fall for you.

But Taehyung is a bad boy; bad boys don’t fall in love.

Despite how good things were going, between you two--and things were going really goddamn good--he reverted back to his old ways. That wasn’t even the bad part, because he got so much worse.

Fights broke out almost every day from his side mainly, because you were too bloody nice to say anything back. Until the very last fight that he had.

“Do you not care for me?”

“No,” he scoffed, hating that word with every fibre of his being regardless of how much he tried to convince himself it was true. “I never did.”

Taehyung left to go and get high or wasted or both, like he usually did; you stayed there to wallow in your sadness, like you usually did.

But this fight was not like the usual ones. This fight had you in the kitchen, blood pooling out of your body, propped up against the lower cabinet, glassy eyes devoid of life left open above pale, tear-stained cheeks.

Taehyung came home too late.

Even when he tried to take his mind off you, to not think about the time where you ended your life--right there, in his kitchen--he still thought about you. All of the things he did to calm himself down had reminded him of you because you were the one who taught him how to do it.

Enjoying the smell of food as it cooked, the sound of the weather outside, the relaxation of just walking or driving with no destination and no goal. You were the one who taught him how to love doing them. No matter how hard he tried, he would always end up in tears.

You even ruined the parties and the booze and the hook-ups and the drama, because you hated them. Disappointed face never left him whenever he drank or used something or slept with someone. His grief only got worse.

That was why Taehyung was on that train, going to the most peaceful place he knows. The most secluded part of the beach on a summer’s day.

He wanted to see you once more, even though he never deserved it. But you loved the calmness, and the soft sloshing of waves on sun-cooked sand was the calmest place he could think of.

You would be here, he knows it in his gut.

“Regrets are a burden for the future,” Taehyung softly whispered to himself as he walked further and further out into the blue.

He needs to make amends. Hopefully, this time, he won’t be too late.

All he needs to do now is let the tide carry him away.

To carry him home, to you.

127 notes · View notes

hawkland · 3 years

Text

Destiel fic recs (round #4) + commentary

Time for another (mostly) Destiel fic rec round-up post before my bookmarks get out of control! This one’s a mix of longer and some shorter fics (or series thereof), no particular theme except I guess a lot of angst, hurting Cas, and all the other things that tickle my Id. Several Season 9 human!Cas divergence fics, plus some later season angst-fests and rewrites.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) (52k) The first of two fics by this author which I absolutely fell in love with! Canon-divergence from the end of Season 11. Cas finds himself blasted to Naples, Italy by the banishing sigil in the bunker and he stumbles — almost literally — into a sexy, delightful Italian Man of Letters, Luca. When he makes his way back to the bunker and finds Dean still alive, he tries to confess his feelings but Dean panics and shuts him down. Cas goes back in Italy soon thereafter and ends up beginning a relationship with Luca, much to Dean’s chagrin. Meanwhile Sam is still missing and it turns out there may be some dangerous individuals who are out for Cas more so than even the Winchesters.

I loved everything about this fic so much - Luca is an amazing OC, the Naples and London locations are wonderfully evoked and took me straight back to places I’d been. The angst, the pacing, the plotting and the eventual Dean/Cas getting together are all amazing and this is definitely on my re-read in the future list.

The rest of my recs below the cut!

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things (Salr323) (55k) The other fic by this author that I literally inhaled in one day! Season 9 Human!Cas canon divergence. It’s been months since Sam and Dean have heard from Cas, and when they do, it’s in the form of a wedding invitation. Cas is getting married to Daphne - the woman who “rescued” him and named him Emmanuel when he’d lost all his memories post-Leviathans. It seems Cas went back to her while on his own and they’ve rekindled their relationship...whatever it is. Dean just knows something isn’t right about her, so he sets out to investigate and try to figure out WTF Cas is doing before it’s too late.

This story is so, so good! The case Dean gets Cas to come along on is unique and provides a neat investigation subplot, but what’s so especially wonderful is the explanation the author gives of who Daphne really is — and why she’d been so cool about just having a strange man with no memories move in to be her “husband” (and then want to marry him for real a couple years later, after he’d vanished from her life!) In fact it’s so brilliant I’m basically accepting it as my Daphne headcanon from now on and I don’t want to spoil it. The fic is also great in exploring Cas still struggling with understanding human emotions, customs and etiquette, Sam is A Very Good Friend, and Dean is, well, Dean. (I’m just sad this author hasn’t written more SPN fics because what they have is just brilliant.)

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k) Wonderful, shorter Season 9 canon divergence fic by an author who consistently makes me happy. Human!Cas leaves the bunker with a few things to get off the ground from Dean and directions to connect with Garth...but he ditches that plan to try to find his way on his own. It’s wonderfully detailed about the basic struggles of survival, finding work, making ends meet and trying to make some new friends...and why it’s important for him to prove he can make it on his own before he’s willing to welcome Dean (back) into his life.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland (26k) This is an interesting one, written well before we had canon human!Cas in Season 9. Canon-divergence in which Cas remains human after they avert the apocalypse in Season 5. Sam and Dean set him up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then...just kind of abandon him there. He spends most of a year just barely existing before a visit from Sam finally stirs him out of his inertia and depression, to eventually get a job and also start hunting on his own. This is an interesting read, if just to see an author exploring the idea of human!Cas abandoned by Dean a few years before it actually...ended up becoming canon! I love how Cas is written in this (it’s a story much like the next one on my list that I thought does an amazing, realistic job of capturing what depression feels like), but I do have some issues with Dean. It’s never fully resolved or explained why Dean was being such an ass so I honestly wasn’t totally sold on the ending - I wanted some more out of Dean, some more explanation or apology or something. It’s a story that would have been great to have a sequel from Dean’s POV but after all this time, that will just have to exist in my brain, I suppose! Still worth a read because it’s excellently written, Cas becomes totally bad ass again by the end and it’s always fun to read early SPN fic speculating on future developments.

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k) I found myself inhaling a bunch of wonderful short ficlets by this author the other day, but this is the one I had to stop at to rec. It’s another Season 9 divergence fic, of a sort - Cas is newly human, for the sake of the story there’s no Abbadon to worry about, Sam is healed...and Sam wants to move out and get on with his own life. Cas and Dean are both struggling with adapting to their new lives and it’s a hauntingly rich and stark portrayal of depression, inertia, and the slow healing process of accepting and adapting to change. I also liked that this story gives us a Dean who is a little more aware of his feelings for Cas and they both struggle to reach out to each other - for once it’s not sexuality causing a crisis of identity but all the other shit they are coping with.

Don't Sing Love Songs by ireallydidthistomyself (17k). I’m not normally a big fan of baby/toddler!Jack fics - I like the angst that he was forced to grow up too quickly, and in general I’m not big on kid!fic in fandom. This author’s work is a big exception to that. They’ve written several stories along a similar theme: Cas raising Jack on his own/in secret for years, Dean only finding them or coming back into their lives later on. But this is the version of that idea that really packed the most punch for me and was incredibly emotionally satisfying. Dean finds Cas after 6 years, where he’s kept Jack mostly isolated and safe from the world. But with Dean allowed back into his life, Cas may be inviting grave danger upon Jack as well. This one ripped my heart out but managed to make it all better by the end.

Better Ways to Kill Our Time by always_a_birthday_girl (8k) I don’t know why I torture myself reading Dean-in-the-Ma’lak-box AUs, but I do. I think because it’s pretty much my biggest nightmare/horror and for some reason it’s cathartic while terrifying? Anyway here’s one where Dean goes through with his plan, Cas crashes and burns for most of a year, until Dean finally starts doing what he promised he wouldn’t: praying to him. Cas figures out a way to communicate back and over the distance, they manage to have certain conversations they should have years before. It’s painful but lovely and there is a happy ending, so it’s well worth the read!

Time Flows Like Water and We're Drowning by triedunture (7.9k) A little break from the later-seasons stuff I (mostly?) read, featuring a seriously hot (but angsty) Cas/Endverse!Cas/Dean threesome. When Zacariah’s plan to show Dean the future doesn’t change his mind about taking on his “responsibility”, he sends Endverse!Cas back in time to try to convince Cas instead, showing him what he’s to become. I don’t think Zac expected it to turn into a threesome, but it’s hot and beautiful and sad and wonderful all at once.

hachikireru by vaudelin (23k) At one point I went on a wallow-fest of reading a bunch of sad 14x20-15x03 divorce-arc fics. Just to hurt myself more, I guess. I know this fic’s been recced around a lot (at least on fail_fandomanon) and I can see why! After leaving the bunker, Cas ends up in Sioux Falls to visit Claire. She’s busy tracking down leads to find Kaia’s killer and he decides to go along with her on one such hunt. But what they find is an unexpected supernatural threat targeting those with broken hearts. Well. I think you know where that might be leading. This is a wonderful casefic with lots of character moments between Cas & Claire and then Cas & Dean, working through their pain and angst and just...it’s a very satisfying read.

Moriah Codas: A Trilogy by Toomanyfandoms99 (11k total) A series of 3 shorter fics spinning off the events of 14x20, developing a slightly divergent universe the author’s written where Cas does have his wings back and has helped resurrect a few of the angels (Balthazar, Gabriel, and Samandriel in particular). This series is absolutely heartbreaking — Cas is completely broken by Jack’s loss, has “fallen out of love” with Dean after he was ready to kill Jack, and sees no way back to what he’d had and felt before. He’s determined to just let the Empty take him...but not until he and his assembled squad of “avenging angels” clean up the mess Chuck has created, smiting zombies and taking out super-powered monsters across North America.

Cas’s motorcycle gang/angel squad is so fucking awesome (I want a happy fic where they do this!) and this is BAMF!Cas at his finest. I just have to include a quote:

He set down the empty glass, and Gabriel said, “well, dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to kick some zombie ass. Since they have chosen to amass in Carthage, we are here to take out as many as we can without causing this town to flip the fuck out. Are we in agreement?”

“I expect,” Balthazar grinned, “a full-on bar brawl. Do not disappoint me.”

“Cassie, Driel,” Gabriel addressed the duo, “how are we with weapons?”

“I have enough machetes in a storage facility uptown to film a Jackie Chan movie,” Castiel said.

But it’s also utterly and completely heartbreaking, so don’t read this one if you need a happy ending. If you do read, check out the author’s other later-season coda fics and fic series as they are all really great.

to mend what is not broken by gothyringwald (2.6k) This last short one I’ve mentioned before, but I just have to rec it again! It was my gift for the 2021 Hurt Comfort Gift Exchange and it’s everything I wanted, and more. Sweet and caring Dean, wounded but still prideful Cas, and some lovely wing!kink/wing!care that pushes all of my button just right.

Anyway, that’s it for now as I think this is long enough. If you enjoy my recs, could you let me know? I try to not just list titles but give some commentary...as it helps me re-find stories I enjoyed the most, too!

#destiel recs #my fic recs #deancas fic recs #my destiel recs

20 notes · View notes

junghelioseok · 2 years

Note

Im back with a part 2 that could also be a standalone oajdowjd. Im the one who went out with Antonio.

When I was 19, after my freshman year of college, i was home for the summer. I saw him again at a party for the first time in years. And he was even hotter and im weak hearted so when he asked me to dinner i said yes.

We were texting until the day of the date and his vibes were just weird. He was always so nice but he seemed...condescending? He kept asking me where we were going to eat and when i told him i didnt mind he got legitimately mad at me. I picked TGIFs cause i figured its cheap and not bad.

Wrong choice. We get there and hes looking at the menu and the first thing out his mouth is the prices, how its too much. My stomachs in knots and this is exactly why i didnt want to pick. I ended up getting a 6$ soup which i couldnt even finish lol. He got a steak and then desert after so ???

But anyway hes nitpicking everything i do. When hes telling me a story and i respond with something like oh yeah thats happened to me before too! Or the like, hes telling me that im trying to one up him and he doesnt like it. I was confused af lol. AND hes on his phone the WHOLE time.

Now hes driving me home and hes STILL texting. Im frustrated at this point so i tell him texting and driving makes me uncomfortable. He then PULLS OVER so he can keep texting, acting like its such a hassle. In the car window, i can see the reflection of his phone. He was texting his ex. Whose name had 8 hearts next to it.

Once he gets me home, he says "text me because i wont text you first" i didnt text him lmao. Im 27 now and i havent seen him since. Im still confused wtf that was

hello again babe! 💕

and wow. antonio may have gotten hotter, but he also got WORSE. he really went from calling you "kinda annoying" to full on condescension, huh? guess he picked that up from his snobby friends! you know the saying, "when people show you who they are, believe them"? like, all here for that, but damn if it isn't hard when they're attractive! smh 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

and this dinner, WOW. he got dessert after his steal meal? too expensive, my ass. and can i just say, one of my biggest pet peeves is people who are on their phone all the damn time when they're spending time with people. the doctor i was seeing had exactly one thing going for him (well, two if you count the fact that he was very hot lmao and three if you count the fact that he'll have $$$ one day 🤣) and that was that he was fully engaged with me when we were together. didn't so much as pull out his phone unless it was to show me photos of the friends he was telling me stories about. fuck people who think their screens are more important than you are! the texts will still be there when the date is over!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

jfc, i would've called him on texting while driving too. the sheer irresponsibility of it all! and just to text his ex??? NOPE!!! thank god you didn't text him because that whole man deserves to be thrown away.

at least you can rest easy knowing that his looks will fade, but his shitty personality won't! 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

#ask lia #answered #anonymous

3 notes · View notes

spacesunflcwer · 4 years

Text

reasons why i love pride & prejudice, specifically the 1995 adaptation

(ok when i started this i was going for a list of reasons but it ended up more like live commentary of the series oops)

it's so accurate???!? i read the book for the first time after having seen the miniseries like 4 times and i was stunned by how identical the dialogue was

"oH mr bEnNEt"

literally all of mr and mrs bennet's dialogue is hilarious. she's such a drama queen and he's just there like please shut up but also sassy

mr darcy at the first ball is literally like a socially awkward emo teenager who hates everything whose mum (mr bingley) is encouraging to be more social and make friends lmao

when mr darcy compliments lizzy's eyes to miss bingley and she's so offended..... she's like wtf fitzwilliam how dare you appreciate a peasant??!?

elizabeth "i promise i shall never dance with [mr darcy]" bennet hahaha think again lizzy

when jane gets invited by miss bingley and mrs bennet is like go on horseback because it looks like raining so you'll spend the night lmao this woman is ready to do anything to see her daughters married huh

all the awkward encounters between elizabeth and darcy when she goes to netherfield like when she walks into the biliard room and they just stare at each other until she leaves lmao

that scene when they're all in the drawing room and miss bingley is like let's go for a walk around the room to refresh ourselves lmao people in the 19th century were really bored huh

the amount of tension between lizzy and darcy when they have that conversation about pride sksksksks

mrs bennet sure knows how to throw shade (at darcy) lmao

MR COLLINS

i really dislike him because he's so annoying but he's also so stupid and full of himself in a funny way it's hilarious i love it lmao

i literally lose it every time he mentions lady catherine de bourgh which is A LOT

just the tone in his voice when he says is so funny to me

for real why didn't mr collins go for mary she's literally the female equivalent of him like.....

oh wait i know why misogyny lmao

you know, i'm not going to talk about wickham because fuck him

the netherfield ball!!!!!

when miss bingley goes up to lizzy to diss wickham and lizzy looks so ready to cut a bitch lmao

when mr collins goes up to darcy to talk about lady catherine and lizzy and jane are like oh god oh fuck someone stop him shit it's too late and then darcy is like *read at 7:39pm* ajsnsjsks

ok but when mrs hurst goes and plays the piano that was amazing i don't like her but that was really good

mr collins's proposal. just. when he's like "let me tell you the reasons why i want to marry. and then the reasons why i want to marry you specifically" like pull out a whole powerpoint presentation why don't you

oh and OF COURSE lady catherine de bourgh is amongst the reasons ("that should have been the first reason actually")

when lizzy says no for like the second time and he's like "ah but a lot of times women refuse when they really mean to accept" unfortunately not much has changed in the way of men has it, no means no!!!

"if you do not accept his proposal, your mother will never see you again. and if you do accept his proposal, i will never see you again" i'd forgotten how much i love mr bennet he's so great

when lizzy finds out he proposed to charlotte and charlotte accepted and she's like BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

literally fuck miss bingley what a bitch. let jane be happy!!! fuck you

oh my g o d when they go to visit charlotte and mr collins and he starts going on about the STAIRS and how their steepness is ideal and the closet in lizzy's and how lady catherine suggested they put shelves in and cOuSiN eLIzAbEth LoOk hOw prAcTicAL iT iS laDy cAthEriNe tHinKs oF evErYtHinG shE's sO gOod tO uS

lmao when charlotte is like yeah i like my life most days we barely even see each other

when they go to rosings park and mr collins won't shut up about the 64 windows of the house and how amazing they are

lmao when lady catherine asks lizzy something and then turns away and lizzy CONTINUES TALKING and lady catherine just turns slowly like bitch wtf did i allow you to keep talking

when darcy won't stop STARING AT HER (because he's so in love) and she's there like wtf

the scene at the piano omg the amount of romantic tension between them and the staring at each other again god help me i love them so much

lmfao when mr darcy randomly visits lizzy and just sits with her for like 5 minutes and then gets up and leaves mood tbh

i will never get tired of the love confession scene tbh he goes in and literally walks around the room sits down gets up walks around some more for like 5 minutes before he finally starts talking

"in vain i have struggled. it will not do. my feelings will not be repressed. you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you."

and then elizabeth is like bitch what the fuck and pulls out a 40 slide powerpoint on why she could never love him

which was completely justified of her btw. darcy was a dick back then

the sequence at the beginning of ep4 when they're both having flashbacks to what the other said lol

also when lizzy has those flashbacks where darcy's full face just randomly appears out of nowhere like a ghost yeah what the fuck was up with that it’s SO WEIRD

when they go dine at rosings for the last time and lizzy is full on sarcasm about how oh so sad she is to be leaving and oh so grateful to lady catherine and mr collins loses his shit because he thinks she's being serious lmao

honestly though when she's all dramatic about darcy to maria but without actually saying anything and maria is just like ok wtf but whatever i guess, and then she does that again to her aunt and uncle when they're at pemberley and she's all like wE hAvE tO LeAVe nOw and they're just there like ummm ok?? what just happened here. i mean this is a thing that she does frequently and idk i'm wondering how her general acquaintance feel about it. like every once in a while she'll go all dramatic and everyone is like oh there goes lizzy dramatising her life and not explaining anything to anyone, again

lmao when maria tells her she's been packing and unpacking all night and lizzy tells her she can pack it however she wants and lady catherine will never know. like yes maria you are a strong independent woman and can pack your suitcase however you please

when lydia gets invited to brighton oh noooooooooooooo

time for kitty to develop her own personality i guess lol

i will never get tired of elizabeth only deciding to go to pemberley because she's 100% she won't run into darcy and then she does

also when they're staring at the house and she's like damn that is a nice ass house

i love how bad the paintings of darcy inside the house are because everyone is look how beautiful he is! and what a realistic painting this is! and then they show it and you laugh at loud because that shit is UGLY and nowhere near like colin firth

i still don't understand why darcy jumped in that pond. was it because he was trying to clear his head to not think about elizabeth? was this something he did regularly on his way home?

on that note, if he did it to forget about elizabeth it was pretty unfortunate for him that he literally ran into her 5 seconds later lol

HIS LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS NEVER CEASE TO AMUSE ME

"are your parents well?" "yes" *1min later* "and your parents? are they well? and your sisters?" and ofc lizzy laughs at him

ok what i still don't understand is how when darcy returns suddenly he's all smooth and talkative and keeps the conversation well and alive and just what?? he went from 0 to 100 real quick in terms of social skills and i Do Not Understand

omg the next day when him and bingley and georgiana go the inn to meet her and bingley starts talking to her and he's so HAPPY AND EXCITED and i love how he goes "yes we haven't seen each other since we danced at netherfield on the 26th of november". boy's been counting the days since he last saw jane and i love it. he's so in love

on that note of so in love, the way the scene immediately switches to show us darcy staring at elizabeth while she plays the piano with full-on HEART EYES ahhh i'm so soft for them

and then that BITCH caroline goes and mentions wickham and darcy panics because his sister is right there elizabeth IMMEDIATELY sees and knows and goes back to georgiana to help her and changes the subject

i really think darcy fell even more in love with her when he saw how well her and his sister got along, and how much she cared for georgiana, because he probably could never love anyone who didn't seeing how important georgiana is to him

and then it just shows elizabeth and darcy staring at each other like this 💘💖💗💖💕💗💖💘💖💘 total heart eyes

when caroline basically roasts him for being in love with liking elizabeth and he just snaps at her and says she's the most beautiful woman he knows GET REKT CAROLINE

omg when lizzy gets jane's letter and is really upset and he tries his best to comfort her ahh my heart

"i will never see him again" YES LIZZY YOU WILL

mrs bennet's worst case scenarios... convinced mr bennet's going to fight wickham and wickham will kill him lmao

you know I WONDER where lizzy gets her dramatic airs from

when mr collins shows up and is all basically throwing shade at them and lizzy is just like ok then if we're so bad how about you leave so you don't have to be around us for any longer

like yes lizzy drag him!!!!

when they show us lydia and wickham in london and you can see wickham starting to get pissed off at lydia... looking like he's regretting all his life choices

which he should, btw. he made terrible life choices and they’re literally all his fault

when everything is (sort of) resolved and mrs bennet is like i knew everything would turn out well in the end! yeah SURE you did

when lydia and wickham come back and you can tell lizzy is so ready to fight

when lydia spoils that it was darcy who helped them and lizzy is like mr darcy?? did you just say mr darcy????

oh yeah also darcy taking all the blame for all that happened and insisting to pay for everything... i love one (1) wholesome responsible man

jk i love two (2) wholesome men because bingley

mr bingley and mr darcy came back to netherfield!!!!!!!!!

when they go to longbourn and darcy and lizzy just stare at each other the whole time. again

when darcy finally tells bingley he purposefully kept him and jane apart and admits that it was completely wrong of him. GROWTH

bingley still asks for darcy's blessing & darcy tells him he shouldn't need it & bingley replies that he would still rather have it. WE STAN A WHOLESOME & SUPPORTIVE MALE FRIENDSHIP

and then bingley just sprints to longbourn to propose to jane when most of them have barely woken up lmao

the scene when they're all sitting in the drawing room and mrs bennet is trying to get them to leave so it's just bingley and jane is so AWKWARD and funny lmao

"mama, why did you just wink at me??" "why would i wink at you kitty"

"actually now you mention it i need to talk to you about something UPSTAIRS!"

and then jane is happy :) finally :) jane deserves ALL the happiness :)

when lady catherine randomly shows up and just starts insulting their poverty lmao

while lizzy, kitty, and mrs bennet just stand there awkwardly

"your hall is too small" "so you call this a drawing room" "your west facing windows must be awful in the summer" ok boomer

and then proceeds to lose her shit at elizabeth while elizabeth just stands there

"he is a gentleman and i am a gentleman's daughter. we are equals" YOU TELL HER ELIZABETH

and then tells her she doesn't owe her anything which is just 19th century equivalent of go fuck yourself bitch

that whole scene was a big fuck you lady catherine de bourgh

and is probably one of the most iconic scenes in the show

when mr bennet calls up lizzy about how he's heard rumours that she's to be engaged to darcy and just finds it so funny and lizzy is just there like hahahahaha yeah that would be hilarious wouldn't it when she's probably just dying inside because darcy!!!! love of her life!!!!

no offense but the part when they go for a walk and confess their love to one another among other things is literally one of my favourite things ever

apart maybe from the piano heart eyes scene

it's just so soft

when he says he hates himself for the things he said the first time he proposed and can't believe that was thing

and that he's eternally grateful to her because he doesn't think he would ever have changed if it hadn't been for her

on that note, gotta appreciate the fact that this isn't one of those stories where girl meets guy who's a dick, girl proceeds to change dick guy into a nice guy. no, lizzy did not change him herself, and she literally refused to be around him for as long as he was rude and selfish and everything she stood against. he himself decided to change, yes because of her, because he loved her and wanted her to love him back, but ultimately he did all the necessary changes to his character by himself. and only then, only then did lizzy properly start loving him. so yeah, here's more proof of why pride & prejudice is one of the best and one of my favourite love stories :)

oh yeah also, about how darcy wanted her to love him back ; “one word from you will silence me forever” yes he was openly grateful to her for everything BUT he was also 100% ready to shut up and leave her alone and accept it if she said no again. because he is A GOOD WHOLESOME MAN WHO RESPECTS WOMEN AND KNOWS THAT NO MEANS NO YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU MR COLLINS GET ON DARCY'S LEVEL

anyway yes i love mr darcy A LOT

but seriously i have such high standards for men and for any future relationships i may be in because of p&p and mr darcy specifically lmao

anyway going back yes i love that scene it is precious

they're so in love and the way they look at each other is so soft and ugh i love them so much

"dearest, loveliest elizabeth"

my heart :,)

i can't believe they're not even holding hands in that scene

and then when mr bennet finds out he proposed to him and he's like bitch what the fuck because darcy??? this guy??? seriously???

as was jane, by the way

anyway wedding time!!!!!

"join this man, and this woman... and this man, and this woman"

we love a double wedding of the two best and most wholesome couples

lmao caroline and georgiana's faces at the wedding. fuck you too :)

when they walk out and they're so happy!!!!!! their smiles!!!!! aaaaahsjskssjajanj

for real colin firth's big smile in that scene is just,, precious,,

and then they kissed :)

ngl, one of the things i wish would have been included in the miniseries is the epilogue from the book... i loved it it was so happy and wholesome

anyway i love this book and this story and the 1995 miniseries and i need to reread the book

oh and also, the music in the miniseries is really good!! the theme song is literally perfect i love it so much

so yeah i love pride & prejudice :,) thank you jane austen for giving us this beautiful beautiful story

💖💖💖💘💘💘💗💗💗💕💕💕

#pride and prejudice #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #mr darcy #pride and prejudice 1995 #i love this story so much #in case you couldn't tell #spacesunflcwer

362 notes · View notes

blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

Text

06. The Fall Festival

3550 Words, No trigger warnings that I can think of.

Grace got ready for the dance with her mother. She wanted her to look like “the belle of the ball” and though Grace thought the gown was a bit much, her mother had always been extra when it came to extravagance, and she learned her lesson about trying to step in with her own opinions on how she should look. Mrs. Monroe had Grace looking like a Disney princess. She hired a professional makeup artist (EVEN THOUGH they both had years of experience Grace from dance recitals, her mother being a beauty queen and socialite).

After her hair debacle on the train a couple of years prior, a world famous stylist for natural Afrocentric hair had been Grace's beautician. She helped her to grow her hair back, twisted it into locs and was always keeping her stylish with the hottest natural looks.

Mrs. Monroe hovered and fussed over her like she couldn’t get ready by herself, the moment all of the professionals had gone to wait for her final presentation downstairs. Grace wasn't used to that. Her mother never had time for her and even when she was expected to look her best, Mom usually didn't get involved. Grace longed for this and relished in it. She couldn't complain, even though it was stifling.

Whenever Simon came up the fire escape, Grace panicked. Her parents DID NOT know about him doing so, and she was ready to have a complete shutdown seeing him appear in the window while her mom was putting butterfly embellishments in her up-do. Simon froze, and thought about jumping off of the stairway when he saw Mrs. Monroe in there, but once the woman looked at him and smiled, he relaxed and stepped inside. “Hi, Mrs. Monroe. I’m Simon, Grace’s frie-”

“Grace has a school dance tonight, Simon,” she said, not interested in introducing herself. “I’m sure after all of this; she’ll explain to me why her fire escape is open and why a boy is using it for anything but a fire.”

“Simon is my escort, Mom,” Grace said in a voice so small that Simon didn’t even recognize it and could barely hear her. She had NEVER been this quiet in all of the years that he had known her. It was alarming, actually, but within a moment, he realized why.

Her mother stuck another butterfly into her hair, with a hard jab and Grace winced when the pin stuck her in the scalp. “I see,” the woman said.

The pageant smile that she had initially given Simon in her confusion was gone and now, a stone like grimace was there, pointed right at Grace with no warmth or emotion. “Stand.” She commanded, and Grace did so, with military-like precision. The woman led her next to Simon and stood her at his side, took a step back to assess them, then flared her nostrils and raised an eyebrow. “No.”

“But, Mom…” Grace said in that same tiny voice, this time pleading. A single look from the woman silenced her.

“Grace, I did not pay thousands of dollars to make you perfect tonight for you to ruin the entire aesthetic with this shaggy boy in a shabby suit that looks like it costs less than your earrings. I’m sure he’s nice, but do we want nice things for you, Grace?”

“No.”

“What do we want for you, Grace?”

“The best,” she said.

“Alright. Now, I’ll give you a moment to say goodnight and LOCK your fire escape, then hurry down for the pre-dance photo shoot.” Grace’s eyes welled with tears as she looked down at her hands, clasping her dress anxiously. Her mother lifted her chin with her fingertips and said in a sweet voice, but through clenched teeth, “Don’t you dare cry and ruin this makeup job, and let. Go. of. That. Dress!” When she said dress, she jerked away one of Grace’s hands with her free hand and Grace’s other hand quickly followed.

Then, Grace whimpered in her tiniest voice yet, “He’s my best friend.”

Her mother looked at her with a mixture of pity and exasperation and shook her head, “We can discuss that another time.”

Grace took a deep breath and almost magically forced away the tears trying to form in her eyes. Simon was horrified by how frightened the woman made her. What would she do to her if she told her to piss off? He wasn’t going to find out tonight, because Grace stepped in line and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Simon.” She was using that voice that she used with people whenever she was just telling them what they wanted to hear. That was a voice she used with non-essentials, not with him... “I still want to do the whole pumpkin patch thing tomorrow, if you don’t hate me for wasting your time tonight? Maybe my parents will give you money for the train ride home.”

“I’m not going home! My suit may be shabby, but it was the best that I could do and I tried really hard to look nice for you tonight!” His voice was louder than he meant it to be and he knew that her mother could probably hear him, but he had just witnessed the worst thing to happen to him in months (which was already saying a lot) and he just didn’t understand this version of Grace that he had seen tonight.

She smiled, sadly and touched his cheek, “You DO look nice. I love it. I love that you remembered the colors for your accents, and it's very obvious to someone like me, who knows your type of fashion, that you did put a lot of work into this look. But, what I'm telling you is that there is no way that my mother is going to let you get into the car with me and head to the dance, now. I didn’t expect her to be here! But, apparently my first school dance was an event she couldn’t miss, despite missing several other things that I thought should have been pretty dang important...” She dropped her hand and sighed, “I really wanted to go with you tonight, but it can’t happen now. She made that clear to me. I’m sorry, Simon.”

She looked like she might cry again, but she quickly sucked it up and put on a smile. “We can go downstairs together. You don’t have to take the fire escape…”

“What do they do to you? What do they do to you to make you like this? What could they possibly do for you to treat me this way?” He asked, practically pleading.

“They work hard to make sure that I have the best. It’s my responsibility to be my best for them, and they… they… know what’s best.”

“You don’t believe that, Grace! They’re one of the main reasons that we don’t trust adults!”

“Even if I don’t trust them… I have to do what they say! What else can I do? They’re not gonna just leave me alone and let me live my life. Maybe one day, Simon. Just not tonight… Not now...” Simon had tears in his eyes, but Grace was definitely disassociating.

She had to be strong, because she had to present herself to her parents, the pros who put together her look, and the photographer. She had to be perfect whenever she made her entrance. “Goodnight, Simon.” She gave him a playful tap on the cheek, strummed his face with her thumb and left him in the room alone. Simon covered his nose and mouth with both hands and started to cry.

The time it took Grace to smile through the photo shoot pretending that she hadn't just sliced her heart into pieces and fed them to her mother, to get the dress safely into the car, and the drive to the dance… Simon had already made it there. The school was closer to Grace's house than his house was, so he just walked. Anger and resentment fueled his pace.

When he arrived, he went to the bathroom to freshen up and get himself together. He slid into the stall with his jacket off, rolled up his sleeve and looked at his arm for a while. He drifted into a daydream.

They were 10, she was in her ballet garb and he was in his vest, shorts, socks and sandals… she was gonna "teach him a few moves," though he couldn't remember why. All he ever remembered about that day was that he couldn’t focus on a single thing that she said to him because she was standing close enough for him to be more concerned about focusing on her features and whenever she was standing behind him, trying to help him get into position, her hands were on his person and she smelled like fruit and flowers. She usually smelled of nice, expensive products and fruit scented lip gloss, but there was something else that he wasn’t as familiar with, though it was very nice. He found out later it was mango butter. She lathered herself in the stuff to moisturize. She didn’t teach him ANYTHING that day but that he wasn’t really into doing ballet, and that she was the prettiest girl that he knew. Always would be. Tonight, they were supposed to dance together again. This time, in front of people. This time… Maybe it wouldn't just be a huge failure, he thought. But, it failed before they ever even made it there. You're never going to be good enough for her.

Simon pulled down his sleeve, put his jacket back on, "You're just as good as anybody else! You're better than most of the people you've ever known!" He hissed, straightening himself out in the mirror.

Then, he went out to get some punch. There was a table of fountains with various fondues and drinks. He remembered that this was his first dance at the academy and that his former jr high bashes would pale in comparison. Everything was SO formal. It reminded him of photos of his parents at a military ball whenever they were first dating… but then add like a million dollars of decorations and stuff.

Whenever he thought about money, his mind went back to Mrs. Monroe's cold features and empty smile. The way she tore him down like he was a null and Grace just LET her.

If his parents ever so much as cut her an ugly look, he'd bludgeon them. She couldn't even tell her mother "no," for him? She'd been so beautiful in that yellow dress, with her goddess locs pulled up and twisted into a cascading bang, a halo crown and sparkling butterflies with jade jewelry and light green and gold accents in her dress, makeup, and hair. Simon didn't even know wtf chartreuse was until he had to try to find "accents" for his suit. He found a tie, a pocket square and socks! He shined his shoes, like he'd seen his father do. He watched videos to learn to tie the tie and fold the square. He'd exfoliated his skin and gelled his stray hairs to try to keep his ponytail neat!

He was sulking into another cup of punch when somebody said, "Is that Grace Monroe?" He turned and the kids made way for her. Her driver helped fix her dress for her entry. She had that fake ass smile plastered on her face, but the moment she saw Simon, it faded. Then, her real smile quickly appeared and she shuffled over to him. "You still came!" She cheered. Everyone else immediately didn't matter to her, but Simon wasn't smoothed over. He was still very much hurt.

"Your mom can control you, not me," he grunted. She put her hand on his shoulder and he looked at it before flicking it off with a harsh brush of his hand. "We're not here together, remember?"

"Obviously, I remember. But, we're still friends… Right?" She stared at the top of his head as he stared into the cup of punch. It was good. Tasted like pineapples and cream with some spritz to it… but it didn't taste good enough to help him avoid this questioning. It'd have to do for now, because there was no way he dared look up to see how she might be looking at him. The feel of her eyes upon him was heavy enough. "What can I do?" She asked in a small voice.

He glanced at her, looking down at her hands and clutching her dress. He sighed and shifted his eyesight to look at the others in the room with them, having fun without a care in the world. Meanwhile, here they were… both obviously miserable. "Nothing," he finally answered, though he didn't look at her again. "You're clearly a powerless kid, just like me. We thought we were so tough because we could win some fights with nulls and really, we're the worthless ones. Your mom proved that tonight. She could care less about specks like us. These kids treat me like I'm something they stepped in, and I can't do anything about it, because my parents can't toss money at administration if I mess up. But, if I get kicked out, my chances of being successful will decrease three quarters. I'll never be rich and powerful, no matter the fact that I deserve it. I deserve it more than anybody else in this room of fakes and flunkies! I'm smart. I'm strong. I'm fearless. I'm tactical. I deserve respect. I deserve the best, too, Grace."

"You do."

"Then why didn't you have my back!?" Now, he looked at her. He deserved an answer.

"Because… I'm… not... those things. I'm not that smart. I just know how to talk to people. I'm… not that strong. I'm just agile and can dodge a lot of danger. And, I think you saw for yourself that I'm not fearless. I'm terrified of my parents seeing any of that. Everything that I'm not. They'll lose the little bit of love that they have got for me and I can't stand to risk it. I guess I just thought that you wouldn't. That... you could take one night of my cowardice and still love me. I was wrong to expect that. You deserve better, but I'm not someone who can give you that. You were always gonna eventually do great things. I was always gonna skate by on my family name." She wiped her eye and looked at her glove to see a little makeup. "I'll leave you alone now…" She was going to go cry over this. Very uglyish and loudish… but Simon caught her wrist.

They looked at each other. Her eyes were asking him why he stopped her when she was giving him his way out, but he knew as well as she should have.. she was absolutely right. He'd love her through anything. He just wasn't going to say that. "We're supposed to open the waltz," he said. His gray eyes were soft on her and she sighed with relief and hurled herself into him for a hug. He held her. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Your mom's a monster. And she's got a ton of money. I've never seen you be afraid of anybody else and I shouldn't have attacked you about it." She was now fully crying on his shoulder. "Apex never dies."

She smiled and nodded, "We're on this wild train for life." She stood up straight and they stared at each other. Did… did she see Simon blushing? She touched his chin much like Simon had seen her mother touch hers, which momentarily gave him a little nervousness, but she said, "You know, Socks & Sandals… this outfit really makes your eyes POP! Have… have they always been green?"

"My eyes are gray," he said, blushing even more, but also looking offended.

"Thank goodness! That's what I thought they were before now…" she kept staring though. "They're prettier than I remember. Did you do something?"

"Like eye reconstruction or shapeshifting?" He asked sarcastically. She laughed and he smirked. Then, they made their way to the dance floor. Grace was in his arms most of the night. They took photos together, with "friends," and at the booth, and before dismissal, they ducked out to ditch her driver and jump on the train to head into the city.

Grace peeked into her clutch for her mask and saw several valuables that she knew weren't hers. "Simon… what is all this?" She pulled out watches and jewelry to get to her mask.

"That's stuff I found on assholes at the dance."

She looked at him a moment, like she was judging him; then they both laughed. "Please tell me that at least ONE of these items came from Shana!" He smirked and shuffled through his haul to show her a set of keys with a plushie keychain. "Are these her car keys???"

"Looks like those are all her keys. But the keychain is fruit with a face! We love fruit with a face!" Whenever they got off of the train, Simon removed the keychain and threw the keys to the wheels. He didn't have an issue with Shana, but she had made Grace her rival since the recital years ago, so that meant she was Simon's enemy… and tonight, she'd be stuck at the dance.

"It just occurred to me that a mask won't do much when the rest of me looks like this," Grace said, laughing.

"It JUST occurred to you that a face mask wouldn't hide your very conspicuous ballroom gown?"

"Shut up!" She laughed and held his hand as they ran out of the train station. Both of them stuck their tongues out and flipped the surveillance camera the bird as they did.

She didn’t want to go home. They had been going around the city for hours and she was certain that unlike when she was 10, her parents could care less if she was home, so long as she didn’t embarrass them while she was out there.

So, she and Simon waltzed at the creek in the moonlight, unintentionally inventing inside jokes, lounged around the closed mall, stole some skateboards from someone’s yard and went skateboarding at the boardwalk. Grace was much better at it than Simon, despite the fact that she had never tried before and was wearing a lengthy gown. Simon vowed that he was going to get better than her.

They made their way back to her house and Simon tampered with the lock on the fire escape to let her in. Whenever he successfully broke in she gasped and he said, “You owe me 20 dollars.”

“I did bet you 20 dollars that you couldn’t possibly break into my home…” she said.

“Yep.” He held out his hand and she put his stolen valuables in it. “This was already mine, whenever I took it.”

“Yeah, but I’m taking the 20 I owe you out of it, for having held onto your loot.”

He groaned and stuffed his pockets. “If we’d been searched or something, they would presume that stuff was somehow all yours. Me? Obvious criminal.”

“You pickpocketed like a dozen people at a school dance and just broke into my window. You are a criminal.”

“So? That doesn’t mean that they have a right to suspect me as one!” She laughed and opened the window to climb inside.

Whenever she was on the other side, she turned and smiled at Simon. “Thanks for getting me home safely, Gray Eyes.”

He blushed and she definitely could see it, even in the moonlight. “Of course. Apex sticks together.” He reached out to give her a fist bump, but she rested her hand on his fist, shut her eyes, leaned forward, puckering her lips… like she was going to… going to kiss him. It happened really quickly, so he couldn’t prepare himself properly. It landed on the corner of his mouth and he didn’t know if she meant for it to be there, on his cheek, or directly on his lips. But, he turned slightly for their lips to touch and she gave those a second kiss, then a third. Small pecks, but two on the lips and the first extremely close to them was still... a lot.

They looked at each other a moment, realized that they were holding hands now and pulled them back. “Well, that was a perfectly normal friendship kiss,” Simon said.

“Very platonic affection,” she added, fighting a smile. “We still on for the pumpkin patch tomorrow?”

He nodded and smiled as he went down the stairs and she locked up after him, then watched him skateboard away on the board he had. Gray Eyes… That had to be his favorite nickname that she’d ever randomly given him.

Grace looked down at her frazzled dress, filthy at the seam and torn and dirty in other places. She looked in the mirror, traced her fingertips across her lips that she had just so BOLDY used to kiss Simon and she laughed, climbing into bed to go to sleep without a shower or anything. He had kissed her back. She giggled about it. She giggled herself to sleep...

#Infinity Train #infinity train fanfiction #Nesha Fanfiction #AU Infinity Train #fics #If They Didn't Get on the Train #The Fall Festival

24 notes · View notes

bottlesandcats · 3 years

Text

Pardon My 15x20 Rant

I woke up this morning with Thoughts, so time for a ranty post. Be prepared this is going to read more like word vomit than anything, but I just wanted to get my thoughts down on paper. No one may even read this bc I don’t have a lot of followers but it feels good to just get this off my chest and out into the Universe. Warning, there is a gratuitous use of caps.

So....I see so many fans on Twitter saying how beautiful and perfect that ending was and, I have to say, I’m truly bewildered by that.

Even if you aren’t a Destiel fan, I’m not sure how you could’ve found that ending to be remotely satisfying. See list of non Destiel-related reasons below (bc I’m trying to see this from the perspective of someone who isn’t in that part of the fandom):

1. The MOW was crap; wtf was with the Halloween masks? When have we ever seen that with vamps? The dumbest shit I’ve seen.

They trotted out some extra from season 1 like it’s supposed to be some fun little Easter egg. Why are we supposed to give a shit about her? I didn’t even remember her with the flashback. Who are you, again? NM, I DON’T CARE. It also honestly made no sense to feature a MOW episode after everything that just happened, it wasn’t necessary. It was clearly just a means to an end to get Dean killed.

2. They shoved some random family, for Sam, into the last ten minutes of the episode. Sam’s kid is named Dean? OF COURSE HE IS. And that whole father-son montage was so clunky and awkward, I would’ve been more convinced if you told me Sam actually just wandered into some anonymous woman’s backyard and started playing ball with her kid.

We’ve seen how emotionally invested Sam gets in his relationships and we’ve had such beautiful moments: Sam/Jess, Sam/Madison, (even Sam/Ruby), and of course Sam/Eileen. And now we are supposed to care about Anonymous Brunette Woman #4? GTFO. I’ve seen some people saying they couldn’t get Shoshanna bc of COVID, but give us something to indicate it was Eileen. Have Sam sign something to her from across the yard; IT’S THAT SIMPLE. But no, not one single mention of her in either 19 or 20, after Sam nearly broke when he lost her in 18.

I couldn’t even feel happy for him bc I had 0 emotional investment in this life of his. And it was all just rushed through so we could get to the “good part” where Sam dies and is reunited with Dean in Heaven.

Also small note, what happened to Dean’s dog???

3. The wardrobe department really needs to reconsider some of their life choices. I’ve seen tufts of cat hair in the corners of my house that would’ve made a better wig than that rag they threw on Jared’s head. It was so ridiculous, I started thinking this was going to wind up being some big gag like The Mystery Spot” and The Trickster was going to pop out.

And why did Jim Beaver’s beard look like they spray-painted cotton balls brown and glued them to his face? It was honestly distracting.

4. After 15 years, and FINALLY achieving freedom and happiness, Dean gets taken down by a rebar and a Vamp-mime. The only way I could justify this to myself was that, now that they are no longer God’s puppets he’s not bending the rules for them and they don’t have that death-defying luck on their side now. But even that is weak. After all his fighting, sacrificing, and wanting nothing more than to chill on a beach with Sam and Cas, this is what he gets. This was a show about defying destiny, THAT WAS THE WHOLE PLOT OF S15.

Dean always said he figured it was his destiny to die bloody, and that’s exactly why he shouldn’t have gone out this way. STORY ARC, WHAT’S THAT? Cas told Dean, when he first met him, that good things do happen. So basically, the only way Dean could get his happiness was to die? What a heart-warming message.

5. Dean’s lack of emotion over the loss of Cas was the most OOC I think I’ve ever seen from him. Dean DOES NOT accept the deaths of those he loves in any way. He does not cope, he does not move on, he does not happily eat a bunch of pie. We’ve seen how Dean has handled Cas’s death in the past. It’s...not good, and it only became more unhealthy as the show progressed, with the last time (before 18) having Dean literally killing himself. Even in 15x19, we still got that desperate heartache from him with Dean demanding that Chuck bring Cas back. We also saw him sleeping amongst a pile of empty liquor bottles, which is very on-character for him. But in 15x20, he’s the one telling Sam they need to move on and keep living (oops) over a giant tray of pie slices at a county fair. Even Sam feels off. One minute he’s all “I’m sad about Cas and Jack” and the next he’s putting a pie in Dean’s face and is like “I feel better now!” You’ve got a direct in with God!Jack now, and we know from 15x19 that God can pull beings out of The Empty bc he did it with Lucifer! THAT WAS YOUR IN, YOU IDIOTS. You ask Chuck to bring back Cas, but not the one to whom he was a father to?????????

6. Even if you weren’t a Destiel shipper, you should still be disappointed in the noticeable absence of Castiel, especially since he was left with such a cliffhanger of character development and was mentioned multiple times in episodes 19 and 20. He was a pivotal part of the show for 11 years. Even if you take out the Destiel stuff, the boys have called him their brother numerous times. Dean’s call him his best friend. Wouldn’t his ideal Heaven have his best friend in it?

7. I’m not going to rail on the scene between the brothers while Dean is dying. I didn’t really get Wincest vibes from it, though I never put much stock into that side of the fandom anyway. My one issue is this was the “love confession” moment they gave us. Dean dying in a barn and telling Sam he loves his baby brother. *SNORE*

8. The big reunion moment we were hoping for? They wasted it on Dean’s car. A FUCKING CAR. Yes, I get the Impala is important to the story, but come the fuck on. NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS. MUCH BRO.

All-in-all the whole ending felt like 1 step forward, and 15 years back. After all the character development and story arcs, it’s like they just threw it all out the window. Nothing changed. Everyone was back to where they started: Cas working for God, Dean being a good soldier and dying bloody doing the only thing he knows how to do, Sam being left to pick up the pieces with some distorted version of an apple pie life where he was basically just living to die so he could be with Dean again. I felt like the lesson was that the only way you get what you want is to die. It was gross. It was a disservice to the actors, the characters, and the fans. I can’t begin to even see this as fan-service bc I’d love to know who the TPTB thought they were serving with this garbage. And honestly, I don’t think they knew either. I feel like they were so worried about pissing off all the different subsets of the fandom that they went as safe as they could. *slow claps* Way to go, guys, really groundbreaking stuff.

At the end of the day though, it’s my fault for being disappointed. I shouldn’t have expected so much of a show that had mostly cis white men working behind the scenes. A show that’s killed almost every female character who stepped up to the plate (also, POC anyone? Nahhh). A show that took their one real LGBTQ character (also female), killed her and left her body in a bathtub (FRIDGING IS FUN) for absolutely no good reason. A show that, at the end of the day, is just a show about a couple bros who kill monsters, on the CW, and the CW is hardly the go-to place for real boundary-pushing content. A show that has managed to drop the ball at almost every opportunity though we, as a fandom, have continued to lower the bar for them.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 100 times?

So with all that being said...

Peace out bitches.

#spn finale reaction #meta i guess?#spn spoilers #15x20 #word vomit #supernatural #long post #dean wincherster #sam winchester #castiel

11 notes · View notes

callsignbaphomet · 3 years

Note

Ok! Here we go! 37, 42, and ALL of The Deep Lore. For whoever you want! :p

Thank you, darlin’ <3<3<3

Loke!

37. Do they have any phobias?

Phobias per say? No. They are quite uncomfortable around cats. So far the only exceptions have been Bheka, Ice Cream and Cheesecake. Just give them time to get to know the cat and they'll let their guard down.

42. What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

Oh this is constant let's be honest. When he sees someone's in danger he rushes in to help even at the detrament of his own well being.

47. What was this character’s biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

Daaaaamn, sorry, I'll try to tl;dr this aa best I can.

When he was 21 years old he and Jelani (8 years old at that moment) went to deliver some supplies to a village. On the way they ran into raiders who attacked them but Loki ran off to keep the supplies safe but more importantly keep Jelani safe.

He put Jelani on his horse and ran the horse away so his little brother wouldn't be in danger. To keep the raiders from him he stood his ground and tried to stall them for as long as he could. Given the fact that this was a large group of raiders he knew he was gonna die but this just goes to prove the validity of question 42.

He tries to fight 'em off and is actually doing fairly well as raiders are used to a certain fighting style from the locals but Loke one of Loke's parents is not a local and taught him how her people fight so successfully splicing both styles meant he had the element of unpredictability on his side. However, one of them found his horse's tracks and annouced he was gonna give chase which freaked Loke out and in a moment of letting his guard down he gets run through with a sword. In pain and scared for his brother he tries to grab his axe and doesn't see the behemoth sized creature quietly watching from between the trees. So as the leader of these raiders is about to stab Loke the creature grabs this dude and everyone in the area is staring like wtf is this thing and start attacking it. With the little bit of energy he has left Loke just watches but somehow he ain't scared bc the more he stares at the creature the more familiar it feels. Creature makes short work of them rips the leader's arm right off and tosses his body away.

The creature actually changes size to amount the height of an adult human and turns to find Loke had bled to death (he has that thing where his blood doesn't coagulate and he just keeps on bleeding). Creature nudges him a bit as it kneels next to the body and places its hands on the injury and breathes a weird mist from out of its mouth onto Loke's face who quickly sits up in a coughing fit. Creature helps him up but Loke faints into its arms.

Loke then wakes up to see Jelani sleeping next to him and it's night time now. He checks himself to see he doesn't have a stab wound on him or even a scar, he doesn't even see any blood anywhere. He looks around and sees the horse and a small fire next to them. He goes to check Jelani but finds a black feather underneath Jelani, as he picks it up he sees small embers floating up from it and he suddenly remembers the creature but weirdly enough he wasn't afraid of it. He just remembers a weird familiar feeling after he saw it.

So basically he died but came back and somehow it was Jela that did it. To this day he still has the feather. It hasn't rotted or broken apart and it still feels warm to the touch.

48. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

Lowest point was when they lost their fiancé. They were injured so their fiancé went to the aid of another village but most in the group died. This kinda left Loke in a daze for a while and if it hadn't been for their family they woulda just faded away probably.

Highest point? They went to med school just like their mom did. So whenever they feel like retiring they'll fall back on that. Mean time, the thrill of being the field medic who has full mastery of any firearm you can think of is where they'll remain.

49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

Love, more specifically unconditional love. Love is stored in the redhead.

50. What are some motifs associated with your character?

Protection, healing and calm.

51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

Ok so not much, check question 53 for better explanation. I will say that his original name was supposed to be Loki as I was still drooling like a dog in heat over Marvel Loki. But I didn't wanna be too direct about it so I named him Loke which honestly...lmao same thing but ya know. It's "different" enough for me to get away with it.

52. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

Both of us are clingy, needy and a bit emotional tbh. We're both really protective of people we love. It literally takes just a word and we're both gunning for whoever's acting up towards family, partners or friends. Also gamers. We also enjoy singing except they can sing well and I can't lol.

They're a hell of a lot braver than I am that's for damn sure.

53. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

Expectation: He was supposed to be some plot point with no real purpose except to die very horribly to push Jelani in a specific direction. He had no personality and no real info save for a name and the fact that he was Jelani's older brother.

Reality: I'm a pain in the ass and cover all my bases as much as I can so I started giving Loke some background info and a personality and then I expanded on it and fell head over heels in love with him and things drastically changed and from there we have the Loke we know of today. He's grown as a core character and tbh it would NOT be the same without him.

54. What does your character want, and what do they need?

They're pretty comfy where they're at. They have a fantastic little dog that they spoil and love to bits. The job while dangerous is exciting and they know it's for the greater good. They have their brother with them which to them is super important. Their friends are close and family is just a drive or flight away. Out of my OCs Loke is probably one of the few that has everything they need and want tbh.

Some more video games and coffee and food wouldn't hurt tho.

55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? What happens when these all interact with each other?

I think it's sort of a tie between patience and love. Best trait is def understanding. Worst? Overprotectiveness.

Like I've said before on a violence scale Loke is the second most violent character due to them being so overprotective. Understanding kind of goes out the window if it means they're brother, family or friends are in any kind of trouble. I don't personally see it as a fault but maybe some people might ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

56. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

Tbh I don't really know how to answer this. They fill the role of the medic in the field, they're also the "big brother" figure within the group. They're also like...the calming presence.

They most definitely will get a happy ending. They deserve it.

#Loke tag #oc things #nicocalithorne #reply #Oracle Corp tag

3 notes · View notes

andsmile · 3 years

Note

Sorry, I was hoping for a written breakdown? If you have the time of course

sorry for the delay! it’s under the cut ;)

graduation epi:

starts with jug narrating about how riverdale got super dark and reached even his sister. this prompts fp to decide to leave town with jellybean. jughead and betty talk about how the new generation might not survive the town’s darkness. alice cries because she wanted to have a family and now she’ll be alone, betty says she won’t.

on the last day of high school, archie has a dream with his dad (flashback to the graduation dream of 2x01) and it’s sad. cheryl looks at the mirror as she gets ready and looks at her picture with jason. she nearly cries and pins the spider brooch on her lapel. at the pembrooke, hiram gives veronica’s pearls and she’s about to put them on when she remembers that she once stood by him and how that went, so she doesn’t put them on.

cheryl opens the time capsule buried 45 years ago where there’s a picture of boys going to The War (this will be funny eventually) and there are recruiters at school, planting a seed on archie’s mind.

the seniors gather in the student lounge to look at yearbooks. archie and jughead are called to the principal’s office. jughead finds out he’ll graduate and is super happy; archie, on the other hand, finds out he won’t. however, he lies to jug when jughead asks, and says he’ll do summer school (adorable jarchie scene btw. jarchie were adorable this episode). weatherbee still allows archie to walk with everyone at graduation and to record the graduation song.

then, it’s their last class, and everyone’s counting the minutes. they celebrate. beronica hug, kangs kiss, sweet pea and reggie hug, choni are adorable, bughead kiss, and varchie look at each other longingly in a scene written for me - they’re just about to hug, you feel the pining, but then... reggie pulls archie into a hug lol. leaving the classroom, archie takes a look at the picture of the boys that went to war, and veronica catches him looking at it.

at home, betty is trying to write her valedictorian speech while she watches jug and jelly play a game.

veronica shows up at archie’s door with a box full of his things. she says it’s crazy, but she wants to be with him one more night, if only for the last time. archie says she’s not crazy because it’s all he wants too. she drops the box to the ground and they share a passionate kiss going inside his house. he kicks the door with his foot lol.

the next morning, they’re cuddling in his bed and she mentions that she saw him looking at the war picture. archie confesses wondering what was going through their minds. she asks if he’s getting crazy ideas, but he lies to her too, saying he’s just going to summer school.

graduation day. jughead and fp have a talk - he wants to go to toledo with him, but fp says that no, he’s going to college, and that he’s old enough to be on his own (sad scene). toni shows the school to her grandma, and talks about college. cheryl wants to talk to toni and her grandma but decides not to when she overhears her grandma saying that everyone is really proud of her and that she honored their family name.

in a sad moment, archie watches his friends with their parents and is clearly very nostalgic of fred, when mary arrives. betty makes her speech about how she wants the town to go back to innocence. overlay of archie playing ‘good riddance (time of your life) - green day’ and the kids graduating. (shoutout for my beggie crumb when he gets his diploma). but when it’s archie’s turn to get his diploma, the cover is empty. he sees the four men in the picture that went to war (it’s riverdale) and decides to enlist to the army (oh archiekins).

outside, penelope meets cheryl and says she watched the ceremony, but that she’ll turn herself in and spend some time in hiram’s prison (lol) and cheryl says she won’t be going to college. fp and jellybean say goodbye to jughead and falice have their final (?) goodbye. skeet looks good in his aviators. the serpents from toledo (?) all drive away.

the next day, veronica goes to pop’s and gives the ownership back to him. she says that she never thought riverdale would be her home but then when she arrived she walked into the diner and then it felt like home (me: sobbing). the kids bury their stuff in the time capsule. the most iconic item buried is jughead’s beanie (rip).

the core four sits at the bleachers drinking beers when archie wants them to make a vow for meeting every year at pop’s the same day. they all agree with it. then, he announces he’s enlisted to the army. betty says ok, jughead is shook, veronica pops off and says she can’t support it. she leaves, he tries to go after her, she reminds him that ther’s A War going on and that he’s crazy. betty goes after her when she leaves.

cheryl breaks up with toni saying that she wants to rebuild the family name and that she won’t be going to college. it’s a sweet scene. later on the epi, she tells the same to nana rose as she walks into the thornhill gates.

when betty is back home, jughead wonders wtf is happening to varchie. betty realizes that sighs, she has to tell him the truth, so she tells him about the kiss. jughead shuts down. she tries to kiss him, he doesn’t kiss back, she insists until he does and they have sex. the next morning, he asks if they can talk about them, and betty says yes. he’s going to take archie to the bus stop and she says she’ll go see veronica.

in the bus stop, archie is about to confess about the kiss when jughead says he knows and that it’ll always be okay between them.

betty apologizes to veronica but ronnie doesn’t want to hear it, she’s too upset about archie leaving and everything ending without her being able to say goodbye. betty says she’ll take her to him.

then... the most iconic scene ever aired, veronica and betty arrived with the jalopy in the bus stop, they get jughead and they go after archie’s bus. in the bus, archie is thinking about his life and has flashbacks of some important moments with veronica, jughead, fred, and the core 4 (and none for betty lol). that’s when the jalopy honks and he looks out the window, and veronica is shouting that she loves him. he runs and asks the bus driver to stop for his friends and his girl. varchie hug, she tells him to stay safe, he says i love you, and she says i love you. he also hugs jughead in an adorable 1x02 homage, and also betty in a sweet scene.

archie takes veronica’s hand and they walk together to the bus. they exchange a look and he walks into the bus. as the bus drives away, he runs to the back of the bus to look at them one more time, veronica front and center crying.

jughead narrates that veronica leaves riverdale super fast. then, he also narrates how he and betty never talked about the kiss. slowy, it shows that they grow apart while side by side, until she says she’ll leave to yale earlier and asks what will happen to them. they say they’ll always love each other, but jughead says they should focus on college for the time being. she leaves and they hug softly. jughead moves out from the cooper’s to archie’s empty house, and then to the bunker. then, he leaves to iowa.

one year later, he comes back to pop’s wondering if his friends would keep the promise, but no one shows up. when he’s about to leave, the bell rings, he looks and a couple that looks like betty and archie or polly and jason or alice and hal (tropes, tropes) walks in. he says that it’d be six years until he saw everyone again.

it’s an incredible episode. maybe the best since season one, no joke.

hope this helps you 💖

#re: riverdale #rvd season five #riverdale spoilers #episode description for the anon who asked

3 notes · View notes