#idk why ppl sleep on HIM

[rapidhighway]

I didn’t go to sculpture again……

#please please please I have anxiety I have a mental illness #I can’t make myself go there it’s hell idk why I’m just so nervous every time I make myself feel sick #and then I get another excuse not to go becuase I literally feel like I’m gonna throw up #I’m not going to pass if I don’t start going there……. #and I cannot handle repeating a semester #I live in fear #and it doesn’t help that I have intermedia class later today which is my second greatest enemy and just as dreadful #banging head on the table #I need to be wrapped in a blanket and go to sleep forever #god even if I go there I’m never going to be able to come up to my prof and talk to him about my project I get physically I’ll at the #slightest suggestion from my friends that I should finally do it #everyone’s done it already #I will literally cry if anyone talks to me #the profs just intimidate me so badly I feel like they hate me #and everyone says they’re super nice but I can’t make myself believe ittttt they will eat me alive #but if I never go I won’t pass the class and repeating the semester will cost money #pleas I have the stupid project idea ready but I just can’t do it I’ve thought about just emailing them and doing it all through email but #I couldn’t do that either I’m just in panic mode instantly #so yeah I’m just venting not asking ppl for solutions 😶✌️ I just don’t want to text my friend again bc I’ve been putting way too much on #them #they do practically everything for me anyway bc I can’t do shit by myself #uh ok I just need to put this SOMEWHERE #I’m gonna curl up and draw metal or whatever #ugh I know I’m making things worse by not coming #but I can’t make myself I just cant I’m gonna have an anxiety attack ✌️ #no one look at me #I being sensitive and vulnerable here

[chirpsythismorning]

No but even if the Byers had a guest room in California, they still had two guests that evening spending the night…

MURRAY AND MIKE ONE ON ONE CONTENT AND WE MISSED IT?!?!

#stranger things #byler #stranger things 4 #‘murray is mikes dad’ truthers are fuming for missing that content I know it #or maybe one of them slept on the couch? #I’m guessing Murray bc they didn’t plan for him to stay originally #but maybe not idk what the etiquette for guests was back then #one way I look at it is that mike is younger and so some ppl would say he gets the couch bc his body can handle it #whereas anyone over 40 is going to get their ass kicked sleeping on a couch #tbh they barely know each other so I think it would be weird for them to share a room #but again idk what guest etiquette was back then #I know some ppl see it as unsophisticated to expect a guest to sleep out in the open w/out privacy #that’s why it’s possible they had to bunk together #most likely with Murray getting the bed and Mike the floor #but then also in that case why not just have mike sleep on the floor in wills room? #that would make a lot more sense #regardless we were robbed of post risotto material

[skrunksthatwunk]

yeah i can't come to class today, sorry. yeah. yeah. it's cause my hair's too long. mhm. gonna put me out of commission til the weekend at least

#fuck it's too long it's too long it's too long hate hate hate hate hate kill kill kill #i am resisting the urge to cut it all off with scissors but just barely #i havent been able to go home lately and my clippers are there. fUCKK #ITS TOO LONG SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE #i cant stop thinking about shaving my head again or at least cutting it short #it's summer i should have short hair summer is for short hair FUCKK THIS IS WEIRD #i feel like a sad stonermetal mushroom. in middle school. and NOT in a cool way if that wasnt clear!! #hhhhhhhhgnnnghfhn fuckk i feel so gross and weird #i didnt even do anything why are my spoons gone FUCKK. SHITITTTUJ DAMMIT #this is so dumb i literally skipped my second class for no reason and i have so mucj work but i didnt even do anything #i shoudktn be this out ofnit. euhhhhhghh #and i have a new friend and he really really wants to hang out and i dont hav.e the spoons #but i feel so bad.. and i have other ppl i wanna hang out with but i cant bring nyself to readh out #and even if they reached ouy i probably wouldnt be able to respond and i have to go see a show thid week too #bc theyre doing into the woods and i love that shit and i promised id go ans ive been lookign forward to it for months #but i cant. bwuhhhhhhhhghhhh #and i cant just tell the new friend i don't wanna hang out twice this week (one is the play) bc i blew him off all last week #i really dont wanna hurt his feelings but i really can't communicate like he wants me to. and ive kinda said that but still #mmmmmmnnnnuguhghh hes only doing it bc i mean a lot to him but it's moving so fast ans I can't really be there forbhim the way he probably #deserves.. i should probably eat skmething idk. eughhhhhhhhgghhghhggh. melting into a pile of slop and slurry rn #just gonna sink into my bed and not sleep and feel bad. hoorayy

[dreadeves]

my toxic trait is that for a while i have completely believed that at some point in the creation of the story, the angel devil was the death devil. i have many points but my largest one that i keep on eating teeth about is: plenty of devils can make weapons with their abilities. his ability is killing people and collecting souls/timelines. not making weapons out of them.

#i have other reasons like: most devils (off the top of my head) have two names while he only has one. #and also what would a death devil who has dreams of the ppl he’s killed/etc want but to die? #makima took him out of play like. as soon as he regained his memories iirc? and we have no idea why she looked for him specifically. #and his continual amnesia. and etc #csm #chainsaw man #angel devil #there’s more it’s just 5am and i need to sleep. but like. cmon. it’s all right there #idk if it was changed at some point or if it was all unintentional but like. angel of death. cmon.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#thats me in the corner. thats me in thr spotlight. rocking from side to side and not contributing to the conversation #which is to say. i made it to thr lab get together with an old lab mate. i really truely did not think i would #i was like 20min late bc of the crying and hyperventilating over a 6min drive down the road #i sorta freaked out while driving too. and almost turned around. its just that i kno i havent been sleeping enough and got overwhelmed #but i made it there. and i dont think i looked like id been crying but i probably looked a bit blank faced and miserable #as i rocked from side to side for like 2hrs listening to ppl talk. i enjoyed it exactly as much as i expected. it was good to see the guy #again but i just dont connect in group gatherings idk. im glad its done. also fucking we were sitting there and a group comes in and whos #in that group?? someone i have avoided seeing for like a loooong time. the guy who tried to be in a relationship with me back when i 1st #started as a grad student. i say relationship. i was explaining to him why i couldnt do any sort of romantic e tanglement and he was very #firm abt not wanting a relationship. and im like bro im explaining u why no romanticly adjacent thing is gonna work. u literally asked me #to physically hold ur hand thru this. u r somehow more emotionally invested in this than me and also are telling me that u just wanna fuck #me. so like u r not slick. whatever. it was so fucking stressful at the time. which i feel bad abt bc it wasn't really his fault #i was just less self aware so i didnt kno i have bad awareness in the moment. like i dont kno a lines been crossed until a week later when #im laying on thr floor falling apart. so like i wish him the best. didnt kno he was still around. hopefully this doesnt trigger stress #dreams. all this to say i was very fucking tense. and when i got back in my car i was like shaky and panting lol #idk looking back its just such a weird situation with that dude. if i was anyone else it woudlnt have been a big deal but #my brain just doesn't process physical touch right. so now ive got these horrible touch memories that like on paper r literally nothing #but for me they were so unfathomablly awful when i 1st aquired them. i literally could not deal with any romantic stuff for like a month #bc it would like trigger me. now thst its been like 3 years its not bad tho. just like gives me thr ick but i dont get #stuck in the memories too much. its so dumb. whatever. point is im all sore now from sitting all tense haha #unrelated

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Mmmmmh thinking about John being suicidal back when he was in that homeless camp mmmmmh thinking about writing something about that

#to no one's surprise i want to write about john feeling suicidal #like idk he drinks and passes out and wakes up and hes like fuck my liiiife i didnt die in my sleep #and joan (thats her name i think ??) is like dude why u do that. like this is alcohol poisoning #and john is like i deserve to diiie #i think hed try and succeed to be scary but like his deep-seated need to*help* shows sometimes and ppl dont know what to make of him #person of interest #john reese #tw suicide

[gyllenekamuy]

here's the tier list I mentioned the other day btw (of who I think would sleep w me)

additional notes in the tags

#tsukishima is there not only bc he's my no.1 but bc short guys with trauma just loooove me for some reason and I doubt he'd be an exception #ppl like yuusaku are drawn to me too for some reason and idk why but yeah I don't think sex is his thing but he'd want to get married #and he'd have sex just cus 'that's what ur supposed to do' #no comment abt row 2 #ogata would hate sleeping w me but not bc of me he'd hate it with anyone (and it would suck ass) #tsurumi wouldn't mind but he wouldn't like it either yk #row 4 speaks for itself I think #sugimoto is canonically handsome and handsome guys typically don't give a fuck abt me and idc abt them so #no comment abt the rest of that row except that edogai might be more likely than the other ones n I'm sad to put kirawus in that category #kinda changed my mind abt vasily he's just so not sexy in the manga it's hard to even picture him like that but I think he'd be down tbh #koito sr too busy with his wife n boat and nikaidou too busy w his drugs #not violent enough for henmi not kiros type physically not gay enough not gay enough not gay enough #last 3 idk why they're there they're just there so ya #I wrote a draft of this post yesterday but I just went on a long ass rant abt why tsukishima belong in that spot hshshs like ok #anyways

[deityofhearts]

It is just so funny when i say something and someone replies “that sounds like a sign of depression” yeah buddy

#deity dialogue #absbdnfnfn like yes. yes it does #I just remembered the like the other day I was talking about like my sleeping habits and stuff and how like my roommates step dad said #something like that and yes that’s very true it does indeed sound like a sign of depression #crazy how that works out isn’t it? #besties I’m depressed #I want to be asleep all the time so I don’t have to deal with being awake because being awake means I have to deal with being alive #it’s why once kane leaves I’m laying back down #I only got out of bed because kane wanted to build a thing and asked if I’d join him #we were gonna actually go in the woods after building the thing but it got hot #ppl will acknwloege you’re depressed while also not like. accepting it #my roommates actual dad often does that then asks what I have to be depressed about #idk bestie the everything? #anyways I’ve been having a bit of a depresh since like the wee hours of the morning and I crave sleep #I think the household has to go to the store #I’m gonna weaponize my period and stay home #no way in hell am I going to a wallyworld in my period and sad besties and without kane? no

[aggravates]

oh i also read acotar and i was like wtf is this plot. but it made sense at the end. lots of very convenient timings to keep feyre alive though jesus. i am going to read the other books just bc rhysand is my fav fella. 

#acotar #some of the stuff that happened felt so pointless #i cant believe some ppl get hot n bothered by this tho like #in the first book they dont even rly describe sex scenes #i am hoping they do more in book 2 #tbh it couldve been just a standalone series everything was like wrapped up idk where theyre going next but im along for the ride #tamlin is so unsexy to me even his name #like why fuck him when u can fuck lucien or rhysand (way cooler guys) #hopefully feyre does some sleeping around for content...

[kuiinncedes]

me going from being bored in my house all day to bored in my apartment by myself all day wow 😍

#i have no idea where my roommate is also i still like dont know ... how to live w a roommate i guess lol like #i would like to know if ur not gonna be here at night ...... esp when it's just us two in the apartment rn but anyway #i texted her last night when i was going to sleep and i was like hey dw about turning on the light and stuff if u get back when i'm asleep #lol and then she didn't come back and she hasn't responded :P ik she's been helpign friends move in and stuff #bruh i helped my brother move in yesterday and i was kinda like so jealous that he has his group of friends here #whereas i moved in and i didn't know anyone in my building and i hadn't rly talked to the ppl from my high school in a yr #and i like kinda panicked abt being alone a little bit but he has all his friends and i'm happy for him but bitch when can that be me #but also like he and his friends are all in the same residence hall and i was thinking like i can already tellllll y'all are gonna be the #guys being loud talking in the hallways at night lmfao #anwyay #i'm gonna try to do some research work since i don't have plans until the evening lmao thank god i have shit to do tomorrow XD #i don't mind being alone at all i do kinda like it but the fact that ig i could much more easily be out doing stuff w friends or something #more easily than at home anyway idk why do i keep doing posts like this lmao #jeanne talks #ALSO I GOT A COUPLE OF THOSE RLY NICE ASKS SAYING LIKE LIST 5 THINGS YOU LOVE OR WHATEVER I WILL ANSWER THEM AT SOME POINT I PROMISE #idk things i love apparently lmfao #IN CASE I FORGET AND DON'T ANSWER THEM SOON THO ILY THANK U <3

[barredandromeda]

imsoo normal about guys byw

#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die #fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die #cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh #i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever #this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi #the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare #serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home #everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump #anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms #killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti #save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight #on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work #lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush #cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav #the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms #i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him #sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls #i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim #all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family #noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me #sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep #ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep #post #erics tag #delete later #serenity needs this as a ref in the morning #i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason #shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much #gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb

[dont-look-me-in-the-eye]

nobody talks about how fucking tiring it is putting up the tough guy asshole persona

#vent #i am. so tired rn. i can't even talk to anyone bc the second someone reaches out to me like “you okay? you don't look too great” #my immediate response is like “bro why the fuck you asking me that yeah dude i'm fine don't be fucking weird” and #uuuurrgh. why can't i just talk to people kindly like a normal person when they ask me how i'm doing #or tell them i feel like shit! why is it so hard to say “nah bro ion feel so good rn” to a FRIEND i've had for YEARS #like this one time today my friend asked my if i was sleeping well and i just. went full asshole mode like “what do you fucking care” #this kinda thing has happened multiple times #why is he still friends with me bro i'm being so shitty to him #and like. they expect me to put it up. yk? like ppl who i'm not so close with. idk man. #like i've got a rep for being pretty rough but “cool”. (i have no idea where the cool part came from but eh whatever) #but it's really hard to shake the reputation. dude i want to be a decently nice person but it's so hard man and i can only be like #“tough guy literally nothing affects it” or “yes sir yes ma'am mad respectful” and i just wanna be. a good person i don't know

[lazyspeedy]

it’s funny bc he actually did take a polaroid of us lol

#it was two of us and one of me alone 🙃 that was for me but he kept 🙃 #and i forgot to ask for them back agian before we had a fallout fight whatever #have u ever had a dude just and tell u that u r the problem lmao #like not like anti hero.mp3 but him put all the blame on u and say u have issues ❤️ but if u wanna sleep together tho 🫣 #oh and be condescending to u abt relationships #<< some ppl r polygamous >> #yeah i fucking know that my roommate was poly #anyways he messaged me and i should’ve acted on my racing thoughts last night abt removing him from my socials #why didn’t i block him? idk i was thinking i would appear bitter or something #FUCK #^^

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#u kno what i dont like? when i talk abt doing something completely bananas that i would absolutely do if i was even a little less socially #conscious and then whoever im talking to is like lol do it #idk maybe im just slightly distorted abt it but i have a compulsive need to do what ppl tell me to and i kno ppl would think i was real #weirf for doing the things so im just like. r u making fun of me? bc truely i cannot tell #like i dont have a good grasp on how well i read ppl. sometimes i think im ok at it. like i can deduce things from context clues #but if someone is not being clean then its fucking way over my head but idk sometimes i cant tell if im being made fun of #like u kno when u make someone laugh and ur like well i wasnt really trying to b funny. i was just saying whats in my head #so was that nervous laughter bc i said something kinda off the walls or was it laughter at my expense #again im probably just distortion bc my sister used to publicly call it out whenever i was being weird but idk #i just wish ppl said what they thought more. like dont say one thing to my face and then later text me something that indicates u were #thinking something entirely different in the moment. bc that's disorienting and it makes me think i can't trust my reading of ppl #i mean. it doesnt help that i dont look ppl in the face lol but whatever #i should sleep. i have jury duty tomorrow and i pray that i am not selected. tho it would force me to have a day off #bc im fucked up like that. no fun allowed. only work. and not enough sleep :-P #idk why im even thinking this? #i guess bc i was helping one of my lab mates with coding stuff and like idk ive spent way too long around him and i still dont #kno whats going on in his head. like idk hes not too bad but he also is very quick to jump on it when i do something wrong #like when i make a lil mistake i mean. and i think its in a teasing way but idk it feels weird. like he thinks hes caught me fucking up #and im like ...yea? i mean yea that was a dumb thing i did. or like yeah i cant spell or remember plant codes? idk maybe he just thinks #its funny. it doesnt upset me or anything. i just think its kinda weird and i dont get it so it puts me on edge #idk he says things sometimes and im like... ok ur star war5 options make me nervous abt the general opinions u hold but i dont kno how to #manipulate u into a revealing conversation. idk his not that bad just puts me on edge a lil and i have to b around him a lot so i sit here #man wtf is his deal? let me psychoanalyze u #unrelated

[larentslovechaos]

was without my phone for hours 😅😅

#ughh #personal post #katelyn rambles in the tags #got so drunk l #i drove i.... 😅 #guess i might be sleeping downstairs tonight #since my dad seems to be sleeping upstairs #angry my mom is i'm pretty sure literally manipulating him with drug use #like she's gotten and actual reaction out of him #and it's the first time he's shown any reaction or feelings in years #this is incoherent i'm aware #if any of you care i'm sure you understand 🤣 #i feel like a kid again idk #i used to sleep downstairs cause it would send me into a panic attack (literally don't know why) when i would hear my sister having sex #and now my dad is worried my mom is gonna die so i guess i'm gonna sleep downstairs l #idk #i've also stolen the forbidden stale cigarettes (i'm 23 years old) #i cant wait to have my own house #fuck these ppl they ruined my life :') #like i've been in cities for weeks and my friends saying it's not safe for me to walk home in my 13k population suburban neighborhood 🤣 #like when you have to worry about ppl jumping out at you at night is when you're unsafe #i didn't even have my phone lol #and made it home perfectly fine #drove home at that 🤣

[ewwgene-fitzherbert]

lrb

#i am genuinely obsessed with im/ogens homecoming in the last ep it was so delightfully awkward and painful #everything from the fact that she didnt hide her identity and just glared at the townsfolk #and the way she spoke to her father!!! ohhh obsessed with it #and her 'daddy you couldve warned me' 'i havent asked anything of you in a long time' 'i never want you to be afraid of me' OUGHHGHG. cries #lau/ra ba/iley how do you expect me to just live my life after this #rly into the whole thing with her dad not showing her physical affection woahhh #and then theres lau/dna and fea/rne la/udna always holding her hand sleeping next to her fe/arne obsessively touching her arm #(to cast guidance obv. cute little pretext to touch ur lady friend. im onto u f/earne) #idk just!! the way bh arent afraid of her or repulsed and dont feel the need to distance themselves from her #also the way rel/vin was so bitter abt lil/iana leaving him fdhdjhfj tragic but i laughed #i mean its so sad but ?? there Has to be smth abt the fact that she never told him abt her powers right. lol #i also loooove the parallel of: parent sees danger; needs answers (li/liana; ollie) but then with the call/oways its: the couple goes #together; leaves the child behind- and with the te/mults its: the husband refuses(?) to follow- stays home with the daughter #idk its just. smthing abt the fey fam sticking together and lil/iana going alone #wheres the 3rd couple who takes the kid with them lmao #or maybe li/liana just left:( with her new gf i guess if ot/ohan was so hot and sexy and was into astrology and shit woah. fair thats gay #also rel/vin not even acknowledging laudna wow?? so like does he know why imogen snapped and murdered a bunch of ppl or. #does he think it was on a whim lol. i need mORE LOREEE #also him getting so defensive when fe/arne asked for lil/ianas belongings lmao fair fair #i liked that he did the im/ogen thing that she does where she takes a while to formulate a response #and they like rethink each and every word. and they hesitate so much and then their response is so short Yes thats so good. thank u matthew #when u could tell he wanted to say something but he couldnt figure out how or if he should and he just. gave her a pat on the shoulder. yea #ugh terrible SO GOOD #big fan!! #love it when characters cry at just the mention of their hometown thats how u Know its gonna hit #huge #huge big fan #my post