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#bc im fucked up like that. no fun allowed. only work. and not enough sleep :-P
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#u kno what i dont like? when i talk abt doing something completely bananas that i would absolutely do if i was even a little less socially#conscious and then whoever im talking to is like lol do it#idk maybe im just slightly distorted abt it but i have a compulsive need to do what ppl tell me to and i kno ppl would think i was real#weirf for doing the things so im just like. r u making fun of me? bc truely i cannot tell#like i dont have a good grasp on how well i read ppl. sometimes i think im ok at it. like i can deduce things from context clues#but if someone is not being clean then its fucking way over my head but idk sometimes i cant tell if im being made fun of#like u kno when u make someone laugh and ur like well i wasnt really trying to b funny. i was just saying whats in my head#so was that nervous laughter bc i said something kinda off the walls or was it laughter at my expense#again im probably just distortion bc my sister used to publicly call it out whenever i was being weird but idk#i just wish ppl said what they thought more. like dont say one thing to my face and then later text me something that indicates u were#thinking something entirely different in the moment. bc that's disorienting and it makes me think i can't trust my reading of ppl#i mean. it doesnt help that i dont look ppl in the face lol but whatever#i should sleep. i have jury duty tomorrow and i pray that i am not selected. tho it would force me to have a day off#bc im fucked up like that. no fun allowed. only work. and not enough sleep :-P#idk why im even thinking this?#i guess bc i was helping one of my lab mates with coding stuff and like idk ive spent way too long around him and i still dont#kno whats going on in his head. like idk hes not too bad but he also is very quick to jump on it when i do something wrong#like when i make a lil mistake i mean. and i think its in a teasing way but idk it feels weird. like he thinks hes caught me fucking up#and im like ...yea? i mean yea that was a dumb thing i did. or like yeah i cant spell or remember plant codes? idk maybe he just thinks#its funny. it doesnt upset me or anything. i just think its kinda weird and i dont get it so it puts me on edge#idk he says things sometimes and im like... ok ur star war5 options make me nervous abt the general opinions u hold but i dont kno how to#manipulate u into a revealing conversation. idk his not that bad just puts me on edge a lil and i have to b around him a lot so i sit here#man wtf is his deal? let me psychoanalyze u#unrelated
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rookiesbookies · 5 months
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Different relationships that the CoD boys are in and will probably be in for most fics I write bc they give these vibes?
Featuring: Price, Soap, Ghost, Konig, Keegan, Gaz (in that order under the cut)
Price:
Wife. You both met on a dating app when the Captain was feeling lonely. Poor man got so anamored what was supposed to be one date and a fuck turned into one date, two days, four dates then fucking, then well yk. He kept you under deep protection, the boys never really learned about you but Price sends you photos of them all the time, referring to them jokingly as his sons. You’ll meet them eventually, but only when Price knows Graves and Sheppard aren’t a problem anymore.
Soap :
Fiance. After a couple years and a lot of confidence talks by Gaz, he built up the courage. He knew you’d say yes, everyone knew. Everyone knew the night you came to the bar to pick Soap up when he was blackout drunk and didnt kill him when he vomited all over your car’s dash. Ghost knew of you first to snatch up Soap’s phone to call. He was gruff and to the point about it but he felt sorry seeing Johnny cry over missing you but not wanting to leave the team during a celebration for another successful mission. Price made you promise him he’d be allowed to walk Soap down the aisle since it was, as he said, “clear who wears the pants in this relationship.”
(Fic about this posted and in my masterlist with in pinned on my account)
Ghost:
Situationship. He has too many attachment issues to be super stable and he knows it, especially with his line of work. You dont here from him for months at a time after goodbye dates, but when he comes back he’s basically living out of your apartment because it just feels better than living on base. He crashes on the couch because he doesnt want to join you in bed to make you uncomfortable or steal your bed by accident. He kicks and flops in his sleep like a fish.
Konig:
Wife. He couldn’t have put the ring on your hand faster out of fear of makimg you uncomfortable. After the second date he knew he wanted to marry you. But he waited a year to ask, it was painful for him. He asked the two of you elope, promised a ‘real’ wedding with a big white dress and anything you could ask for when the world was safer or his job slowed down. He has large enemies so he mostly keeps you as on the downlow as he can. Everyone knows not to mess with the Colonel's Wife.
Keegan:
Fiance. He promised you when you both graduated he’d marry you, lost contact not long after, reconnected a bit later, and he put a ring on you- promising he wouldn't lose you again. You’ve been engaged for a couple years but you want to be financially stable enough to do the dream wedding you both have planned on a Pinterest mood board. You’ve been his best friend since forever and met in a math class when he didn’t quite understand algebra. He says, “im not a math person,” quite often to this day.
Gaz:
Girlfriend. You met at a bar during his training way back while a friend was working as a bartender, they let you bust his ‘fake’ ID just to talk to him. He comes to see you every time he can now, cozying up in your bed and telling you the happy and fun moments he has with the boys on missions. You play Its Raining Men and he jokingly acts like he’s having flashbacks as a running gag.
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itsyagurlchip · 11 days
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WAIT I SENT THE ASK TOO EARLYA AUWHAUDHDEKDVW
how is the original bone skeleton man doing?? OH OH AND is the setting the usual portal opening in the house and bam you've got new uncles or something else??? YAIOEPEPWLWKWPWBAOAV
buckle up, cuz this is super long yall 🥲
OKAY!!! THIS IS WHERE MY "INTERESTING" PART COMES IN 😁 monsters are just coming to the surface, and speciesism is as high as ever. after a year of this, queen toriel decides to open a human-monster program, something that also promotes her small school.
monsters adopt humans! ebbot was a bit iffy on it, but after realizing the benefits the mayor eventually agreed. (jk that nigga only wants the money 💀-) It was hard to get the program started, because many schools and orphanages werent as trusting, and the state wasn't fundinh it at all. So Toriel took a different approach.
Many monsters put their savings into it, considering their currency is literal fucking gold, and the program would allow each child to get $1000+ per month, depending on their age and needs. and yes giving kids thousands of dollars per year doesn't sound like a good idea, but shhhhh! the plot my dear!
The monsters who take care of them aren't allowed to use it themselves in selfish situations. Both the child and the guardian has rules.
one) you guys have to interact in some way. whether it be verbally, or even physically. two) NOTHING 18+, as all children being minors, that would be kinda weird. three) follow laws as follows- just dont be a shitty parent. four) the child has to want to participate as well, and cant do anything to hurt the guardian. including verbally (bc monster souls are made of feelings pretty much [thats another hc for another day])
id love to go deeper into the details, yet i however cannot bc i dont know how a parent-child program works.
and you have to be in the program for 1 month before you or the child wants to back out.
doesn't matter if its one-sided or not, when someone doesn't like it it immediately stops. id like to say that frisk and papyrus put most if their money into this, just so she can be adopted by toriel.
so when papyrus sees that gaster and sans have been stuck in the lab (not the basement!) for globs of hours at a time, sporadic sleeping, and overall exhaustion from work, he says the craziest shit
"SINCE YOU TWO ARE NERD BUMS, AND I CAN'T ALWAYS BE AT HOME FOR YOU TWO, I ADOPTED A HUMAN CHILD!!"
sans, in his sleep deprived state, promptly rose an eyebrow and fell out of his chair onto his side.
yea, its not that he didn't take the thing well, bro couldn't process it 💀💀
gaster just rolled his only visible eyelight and went back to work
....
well that worked well!!
reader arrived to the house the next day, and seeing that it was a two story house!?!?
AND there was an in-law suite? fuck yea! orphan kid made the jackpot 💥💥😼
they had fuckin steps too les goo!!
Your dark skin shined against the light of the sun, your brown eyes sparkling in excitement.
reader let go of papyrus's hand and ran inside immediately.
Careful as to not smudge your dirty shoes against the shiney floor, you looked around the house in amazement. This place had to have atleast 5 rooms!
and then the in law suite on the side looked like another 2 rooms!?? BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!
Not only did you have super nice guardians (you hoped), they were packed enough to keep you and themselves stabilized!! Hell, if theirs more people, they could support them aswell!!
Taking off your shoes, you looked around the living room. The long couch was green, albiet a bit patchy for a nice place, while the tan side couches could lean back!!
where those outlets on the sides? omg
"HAVING FUN DEAR HUMAN CHILD?" Papyrus smirked. He knew that the house of the Great Papyrus was enough to impress anyone, even of young ages.
"You guys are so rich!! wow- i mean, not that im tryna take your money or anything, but like- WOW!! Its so big!! Bigger than anything ive ever been to!" You were now flapping your hands and bouncing a bit. Your locs of hair bounced in it's pony tail no matter how small the fidget-hop was.
Behind the living room was a beautiful and lavish kitchen, and to the right there was the steps. To the right it looked like some like of master bedroom or guest bathroom.
But you didn't care about rooms right now, you wanted to see your other guardians!!
"Where are the other people im supposed to be meeting? Are you my only guardian or do they have to take care of me too? Are they mean? Are they bums? I hope they dont smoke or something, Do they have an addiction? What about-"
"THAT!, DEAR CHILD, IS GOING TO BE FOR INTRODUCTIONS!! DO NOT WORRY, WHILE THOSE TWO MAY BE GRUMPS, THEY ARE PLEASANT PEOPLE TO BE AROUND...EVEN IF THE LACK OF SLEEP TAKES THEIR PLEASANT PERSONALITY AWAY..." Papyrus concluded. You noticed that, despite the way he tried to talk to himself, you still heard it loud and clearly.
Maybe he had a hard time with volume control. meh.
Grabbing your hand and leading you towards the back door next to the kitchen, Papyrus opened the door. He had to lean down a bit in order to hold your hand, but he didn't mind.
The hallway was looooong. Instead of it being regular walls, it was glass windows of different colors. Which made you raise an eyebrow abit.
Seeing your reaction, the tall skeleton explained, "SINCE WE DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE FOR EXPERIMENTAL ACTIVITY, TOTALLY NOT BOMBS, MY BROTHER AND FATHER DECIDED TO LIVE IN THE SUITE!" He said, walking and talking.
You both reached the end of the hallway, hearing mumblings, ramblings, and overall terms that lowkey hurt your brain.
Getting too excited, you open the door to a glass-based lab. With the occasional plastic and metal equipment.
In the middle of the room there was an island counter filled was rainbow colored stuff ('gay as hell' , you sniggered), small green candies, and lots and lots if paper and pencils sharpened to the ends.
At one end of the room, there was a tall skeleton, a little shorter than Papyrus, who was more goop than skeleton. Infact, he looked like someone took a fire torch to his upper body, but you didn't say anything.
At the other end, there was a short skeleton, probably shorter than you (hah, being 5'0 did pay off), laying with his head on the desk, knocked out with blue slob. You marveled at the sight, wanting to know more about monsters at this revelation.
"FATHER! BROTHER! THIS IS THE CHILD I ADOPTED FOR ALL OF US!" Papyrus announced, grinning undauntedly. The smaller skeleton banged his head on the desk at the loud voice, while the other one barely flinched and turned slowly in irritation. "INTRODUCE YOURSELVES WHILE I MAKE LUNCH FOR THE GROWING FETUS!" He declared, marching out with a big smile.
If this plan went correctly, then his favorite family members would be mentally stable (as much as one could try- he thought to himself).
after banging his head on the damned table, sans sat up a bit disoriented.
why was there a human child in the house?
why was it in the lab?
"uhh kid, ur not supposed be here...uhh, its not safe and uh, you could die."
"WOW! Your so freakin cool! How do you talk without moving your face? Are you wearing a mask? I could die here! ooh shiney stuff, can i touch it?"
yea.. this kid has not had a proper friend in a minute
he was overwhelmed by the questions you asked at first, he didn't answer them at all in favor of watching gaster struggle to calm you down.
sans didn't mind how loud you were, it was moreso the curiosity that you brought along with you.
that wouldn't do.
"Hey! What's this?" the kid asked, walking towards the machine that could very much possibly cause the heat death of the universe, before getting snatched up by gaster.
"Enough! you are here to introduce yourself, and you will do as such" It was funny to see the man twitch like that. sans likes this kid already.
After knowing your name and age, sans was a bit surprised.
he honestly thought you were younger.
while introducing himself he tried to keep it simple and short. how old is he?
"how old am i old man?"
His blue slippers shifted from the movement of his ankle bones.
he thought you were just an average kid, but something about you was different.
oddly enough you always wore these earrings saying Y on the right and N on the left.
he wonder what it meant
Now its a week past since you came into the 'haunted house', aka the skele-dungeon
you two play pranks against gaster when he has free time. watching him bounce his leg in irritation every time he finds a lima bean in his notes is pure gold.
since you're virtual, due to your choice, he tries to take you places.
some of the most consistent ones are dance class every saturday and neighborhood walks you take by yourself.
I think of sans is the type of person to give less of a shit about his dad.
mostly because if the way he approaches things, iN tHE NaME oF sCIeNcE
it pisses him off everytime he tries to ask you for a blood sample
and it makes him even angrier when you say yes without a second thought.
but despite that, he cares about gaster.
but he wants to choke him out being his first son.
Despite being constantly sleep deprived, he makes time for this little new joy in his life.
Back then he's sleep at his desk, especially when his magic reserves were too low to shortcut.
But now, and you thought he didn't notice, you carry him to the living room of the main house and turn the tv volume down to 9 when you cant fall asleep.
another thing you both have in common
More often than not, you both find each other at the odd hours if the night.
since he can barely cook shit, it's mostly you making the midnight snacks
he appreciates the food you make for him, despite him initially coming to get a 10 1/2 ounce bag of chips
other times you guys will sit in the living room in silence
occasionally he'll find himself rambling to you about physics, specifically quantum, so he can keep his memory up.
sans likes the way you treat his brother.
as an uncle and not a childish cousin.
You may not be able to keep up with Papyrus's schedules and puzzles
but when you can, you two shine this wholesome light on the whole house that makes sans's soul ache lovingly.
Papyrus likes to take you out for walks more than him, or you'll both hang out in the backyard next to the glass hallway of the suite.
on his breaks, he'll find you two doing silly things
like rolling in the grass
or trying to carry each other.
without being able to admit it, sans and papyrus feel a new joy in their life.
and they got a cool kid to come with it :)
Gaster and sans were in the lab when his father said the most dumbest shit his nonexistent ears could ever listen to
gaster was never fully succumbed into the void, as sans had saved him before anything totally horrible happened.
hence his melted face and arms.
but he saw something, or rather somethings, that his meticulous little nerd brain has been hyperfiaxting on since the child came.
"Let's discover new universes!"
sans was just like 'naw, jit crazy'
so gaster fucks around with the machine for a while in secret while sans is frolicking with his newly adopted child.
ew, children.
but he guesses that she's okay, despite her adamant queries (hehe).
and soon enough, the machine made that man find out after he fucked around
Now that the machine stopped pouring in different variants of his children, this only made gaster more excited to use the machine.
sans on the other hand was fuckin freaking out.
the damn geezer did it
but not only that, there are aggressive ass versions of him who are willing to kill a child and that wont go.
sans is not gonna give on the things that bring him joy that easy.
*insert battle sequence*
ok so he got his ass whooped, no biggie.
and now his adopted child is befriending them. great.
annnddd now his brother is taking care of them. even better.
AANNNDD now his father is too interested in them to try and find a way to send them back. AMAZING!
bro wants to jump off a roof at this point
to be honest, he doesn't like the other versions of himself.
Theyre different possibilities of what could've happened currently and he already thinks about that enough.
but, reader likes them, so he gives them a pass.
but if they hurt her...or even worse, his brother...
he wont need the machine to figure out a way to take them out of this world.
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KITTY!! THANK U SM!!! ✨❤️✨❤️✨🫣❤️🫣❤️ EKKK!! YOU GUYS BRING ME SUCH JOY 😋😋😋 YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYATATATTATATATTATATATATATTATATATTATATATATTATATATA IM SO HAPPY!! YHSHABDGSIWKSBHSUWBWHAISNEGEYGSBAOWOAMQNWHUDBRYDUBJQIBSGATUWOWUEHRBXKMXBSYSJBSBZ-
i know the reader sounds super excited rn, which is sorta unexpected for an orphan centered fic, in the official thing you're gonna see a less than..nice attitude from them.
btw i wanna make a house plan to this can make more sense for your guys. ohhhhhhhh- IM TOO DAMN EXCITED 😋😋💕 i prolly gotta learn skeleton anatomy too-
@kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice @cyb3r-st4r. if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!
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lolitababygirl666 · 11 months
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yea so i fell in love with a girl b.h/u at my halloween party then i was a fucking dick and we kinda grew apart.on new years eve i confessed and h/u with her best friend lmaooo but she rejected me i told her all the reasons i liked her and eventually loved her si told me she loved me as a friends (bitch) ahaha ummm i am not dyslexic funny enough my parents just gave so little fucks ab me that they didnt even bother to help me learn to write corectlly..fun!I h/u with e for s's sake and then they h/u i was GOBSMACKED but eh then i started sa ma combin with c a new character (a sweet heart oml) who's e's best friend (was??hihi) i'm no longer friends with s 3 days ago was my birthday im 15 now i fell no different i still hopw to go to bucharest and i still have my parents i think i matured a bit but my triggeres can still light up. I have new friends and i can't wait to have fun this summer!!i'm going to update this place more often(i hope hihi)i still want to lose weight but at least i have tits now!im gonna get a perm this summer if i dont dye my hair red.It helped me wrte here tonight.i cant sleep for the past few days.I dont feel stressed even tho the exam is close i did however have incredible anxiety for the whole fucking year i cried so much gained weight lost nights and my sanity for this shit OF A FUCKING EXAM i cant wait for it to be over.i lost all my interest i no longer do anything else than tutoring and hw.I dont have philosofical disscusions bc i dont allow myself to think about anything else than the exam when s and e h/u i was so incredibly hurt i couldnt eat for 3 days and my anxiety flared up like the sun and all i could tell myself was "keep the pain away with math exercises" i was devasted over b for months and it distracted me bc i dissasociated but it was still my only priority to study i couldnt work on myself i couldnt develop my interest i couldnt take care of myself i think i literally never had less showers in my life i gained a ton of weight bc the stress got to me.i love my friends but i srly cant trust anyone anymore everyone has an alterior motive or smth to hurt me with im emotionally numb but its better to keep it that way at least before and during the exam i care about NOTHING but the exam.I'm going to succsed.I have to. I've sacruficed so fucking much.I can't wait to see my therapist she is the coolest!
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treatbuckywkisses · 2 years
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so much is happening i want to scream:(
the way my job gives me so much anxiety it's not even funny. that place is a fucking disaster. i get told im going to be part time and im out here working 40hrs a week, and i dont even get my second break usually like im supposed to. there aren't enough people in the department i work in and they pull people from it for other departments anyway. one of our team leads basically told us all our sections looked like shit tonight and he was going to walk us though it and make us tell him everything we did wrong. i was stuck somewhere else for most of my shift and couldn't work on my section, so when i tell you i was so scared dude you don't even fucking know lmao i literally cried because I'm still new and i didn't want them to think i did a bad job or im not cut out for it or whatever. and he never even showed up. he said it to "scare us into doing our work" and im so mad about it. i almost threw up for that ??
im so fucking tired and dehydrated and it's so hot in there i barely even eat on my lunch break and when i get home after my 8hr shift. i can't tell if im losing weight (unhealthy obvi) or if i have looked like this and didn't know lol so i just try not to look at myself if i can help it bc what.
i never really know what i look like, but when i do, it's ugly and i hate it.
also im working on moving into an apartment (i say 'me' but im not alone sgsksh) idk living is hard yk it's a lot and it's stupid and where my stuff is im not even staying bc sarah is a fucking bitch for no reason and i will hurt her feelings if she looks at me so yeah there's like so much shit happening and I'm so overwhelmed like hello i can actually only do so much pls why
anyways i am really tired and i want to cry and sleep forever and ever:( is this what happens when you keep things 'bottled up' lol
omg also? i haven't gotten my period yet like since April and im 🥴🤨 bc where is she yk and then im like babe you're literally a ball of fucking stress and anxiety please take a Xanax but back to stress im so worried i will get my period on my 8hr shift with nothing and i don't drive myself so that is like extra fun yk wow
the way i have never talked so much and i do it like this where nobody will read it sgskdgd this is who i am as a person irl though so congrats if u read this ig hello
also since I'm fucking word vomiting i guess and ive already come to terms with how nobody will read this, i hate this place. like tumblr i mean. idk it just like sucks to feel like you deserve more than you get yk and i actually am allowed to say that. my moodboards do not do nearly as good as i would like to think they would when i make them and it sucks. because believe it or not i start out thinking they're so pretty and the lack of interaction makes me doubt my own abilities and i hate that. and how I have so many "followers" with the amount of notes i get LOL what a joke actually. especially when they're also content creators. why are you even following me then yk like i only provide one thing and you don't even seem to like it so what are you doing here. it's annoying honestly. how can a content creator be the one not giving support. smh.
i think i need to go to sleep bc idk what i just said and if anyone reads this i feel like ppl will be mad at me so that's where I'm at lolllllll i h8 myself <3
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choptop-sawyer · 3 years
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Hi again 😎💫 im here to dig at ur brain again bcs i. M. Aaa sorry i just love ur stuff but. I have this kinda rly specific storyline type hc area and I'd love to hear any hcs you might get from it if its at all jr thing. But um I keep sometimes thinking back to the idea of kinda, vaguely growing up in the same area as the Sawyers, being childhood friends (and being stupid 2gether, running arount the countryside, ditching school & playing in corn fields) -
But then having to leave in your late teens to school / whatever (I mean 😎 my sappy ass also thinks abt mutual pining w Bobby but you know...... nearly unrelated.......)
Then, later on (Bobbys now Chop Top, Nubbins is..... dead I guess but also >:( maybe not, the family is up to being a mess etc) returning to town to take a break from work or whatever. N meeting up w the family again, i mean, oblivious to the bullshit they get up to but.... yk
This is a bit rambly i should probs have waited to sleep but I can't get the thought of returning to the Sawyer door wearing Bobbys tie dye sweatshirt that hr borrowed u years ago and all the impact of being a former family member bc u were also kind of an outsider or whatever but also the drama of leaving so uwu sksjd
This got so long. All i wanted to ask is: sawyer family headcanons for a childhood friend returning to town after being away for years. Rip.
THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS god I love the image too of just standing in the doorway,, you're not home, you've changed a little bit, but you still fit into some of the old aspects you know so well they fit you and cover you.
Actually this is great because that fic that I swear exists has pretty much the same premise but!!! I can make this one less tragic than that one. 😎
(This is mostly Chop Top n you centric please don't mind)
Also this timeline is all fucky. I think that as soon as Chop came home from Vietnam the Sawyers had basically uprooted themselves and were living in North Texas because of the... Hardesty incident. But like can we pretend that that never happened they r still there in Newt? Just for this. (Hope you like it!)
Chop Top's Childhood Friend Returns
You don't think you would have turned out the way you did without the Sawyers.
They were the main element of your childhood, a mystery that you had to be a part of. A mystery, because they were closed off. Mistrustful. The sickness of small towns carried to the extreme, because they were mostly alone. The loneliness made them more miserable, the misery made them more isolated. A cycle, a legacy.
So it was a a miracle that you were even allowed to be apart of some of it, but you attribute that miracle to Bobby.
He seemed to think you were as much of mystery as what you thought the Sawyers were. Two kids looking through a small window into another world. But he liked that. He liked that you were something different, something new. From beyond that small world of loneliness that lived in the house.
You learned quickly that he had a desire for anything beyond that world. So he'd invite you out with him, when you were kids, to run free in the tall grass, when you got older, to drive with him to places unknown. He had a knack for finding these odd places, and he always brought you along with the music cranked up loud on the radio.
Bobby told you many times that he wanted to see the world. He had this lust for life that went beyond the restlessness of the young. He also said that he wanted to bring you along with him when he saw the world. You didn't ever mention how that always made your heart skip a beat when he said that.
Maybe you should have. But the past is the past and you can't change that.
You knew the other Sawyers too, but Bobby tended to avoid them sometimes. But occasionally, you got to hang out with them.
Nubbins was an enigma. You didn't think Nubbins was his real name. But that's the only one you heard from him, but the name situation was the least confusing thing. He was the most open person you knew. And yet you couldn't understand him, and decided at some point that you wouldn't ever. But he was fun. His energy was infectious, if he was filled with joy, you couldn't help but laugh with him too. That was Nubbins, so absent of any purposeful deceit that he was almost a mirror, you saw yourself around him, sometimes it was uncomfortable, but other times it was fun.
Bubba was the opposite. He seemed to be legitimately wary of you. Bobby once told you that Bubba didn't like to leave the house, ever. He stayed and did the chores. You wondered if he minded, being stuck with all the chores but Bobby said he didn't. It was comforting for him. Always having something set to do. You only saw him once. Nubbins had made him tag along when he needed him to hang some things from a tree. Bones from indeterminate animals, a clock with a nail through it. You don't think Nubbins actually needed Bubba to reach the branches (he climbed pretty well) but he just wanted his little brother to see his work. Bubba didn't make eye contact with you the entire time. He was wholly focused on his task of helping Nubbins. But he was gentle when he helped his brother, careful, and for that you liked him.
Drayton was... well. He was the one Bobby argued with the most. He was his brother, but with how much age between the two, it was almost hard to believe sometimes. Drayton was the one that everybody in Newt knew the most. People liked him well enough, but they said he was odd behind his back. He knew that. You don't think he trusted anything outside the insular world he and his family had existed in for years, and was at odds with Bobby because he didn't get why Bobby wanted anything to do with the world outside.
Oftentimes you would see Bobby after he and Drayton got into it. He'd be fuming, but he'd smile when he saw you. You'd leave with him whenever he came to you. These adventures were the most fun you had when you were there.
The other times you'd go off were when he'd convince you to skip school. Bobby never went himself. He didn't get the idea of all those kids sitting in classrooms for hours, doing nothing but writing and listening. Why do that when you can find things out for yourself? Get into some trouble? In his mind, he was saving you from a very boring thing.
You two knew the area around Newt well. The fields and the flat expanses were the best kind of playground. Your dreams were still set in them. A kind of sunshine filled melancholy.
Bobby told you things in the grass. His dreams yes, but his own thoughts. On music, on late night radio, on movies, on you. He perhaps thought of you as wonderful as voices on the radio, stars on the screen. He never told you that though. But your name was never far from his mouth when Bobby talked about the things he loved.
You and him loved each other as much as two kids who didn't know how to could. He was always on your mind now, with not much tangible objects to remember him with. A photograph taken by Nubbins, your faces blurred because you were laughing. A button, the pin on the back bent. A sweatshirt, which he tie dyed himself, and gave to you one night. The colors were faded. You never did get to return it.
The years away did nothing to lessen thoughts of him. No, they just blurred all together now, and the stream of the sunshine filled melancholy was almost endless. You needed a break. There was only one place you could think of that could help you with that.
So you came back. All things led back to this place eventually. Newt was dying, or dead. Didn't you see somewhere that when a ship went down, it took everything with it? You didn't want to stay for long. But you had to see all of them, you had to know that they were all not these strange figures you had dreamt up.
You went right to the house. You'd never actually been allowed inside, Bobby just always said something along the lines of 'Grandma and Grandpa are napping upstairs' or 'there's a mess' (never mind that he could care less usually about messes.) But you figured he had had a good reason. Maybe he was embarrassed.
When you knocked on the door, your heart was pounding. And that was all. Nothing happened, no indication that anyone was there. You waited, the sweatshirt was too hot but you didn't want to take it off.
Maybe you should come back another time. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door burst open, almost whacking you in the face. And there (you couldn't believe your eyes you couldn't this was a dream) he was.
Bobby had a hammer raised over his head, grinning, he was poised to swing it down, but then he saw you and he felt as if he was in a dream too.
It's been so long. He thought he made you up, a dream to carry him through misery, and you looked the part, even as you stood before him on the doorway. The light of the setting sun shone behind you, heat waves shimmered in the dusk, and you... you.
Facing each other, you stood, just staring. Over head the sky grew colorful, in the fields the grass whispered in the wind. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby dropped the hammer and grabbed for your face, and he held it, fingers digging in so tight it hurt.
"H-hey you." He said, and fell to his knees, releasing your face. You numbly touched the marks his fingers left. Bobby still looked like a man who had seen a ghost.
You called his name, and his eyes looked lost, like he hadn't heard it in a long time. He looked up at you, and you could really get a good look at him. His face was leaner, he looked sickly and wiry, but his eyes were just as you remembered. You sank down to the porch to sit with him.
"Fuck... FUCK I didn't... I- I thought ya'd forgotten all about me... uh.. uhm. Fuck! I mean, r-really! Turnin' up out of the blue like you're some kinda... ghost or whatever... WHOA man... like, ya here to return m-my, my sweatshirt? You're wearin' it, you can keep it! You look better in it anyway... heh, fuck." He rambled on and on, hands tensing and twitching as if they were moving to touch you again, just to reaffirm your existence. Did he know how glad you were to see him? Did he know that you hadn't felt right for the longest time being away?
You forgot all about the sweatshirt, the hammer he had raised with a sadistic grin. You reached out and held one of his twitching hands, and he stilled and stopped talking. There was a peace now.
It didn't seem possible for your heart to feel this full. But it was. And by god, if this wasn't the best decision you made in your life to visit your old hometown, if only just for this moment.
Bobby stood, with your hand still in his, pulling you up. He smiled at you, and you knew you still loved him, and in your deepest heart, you knew he loved you too.
But this time around, maybe you and him could love each other right.
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vakta · 2 years
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a little update about what/how i am doing lately . . . .
to put it short: my therapist and my parents dont let me go to school or stay in my dorm so im staying at home for a few weeks (at least); should be recovering, but i dont rly have the motivation to do so, and my digestive issues make it even more difficult
to not put it short:
so im not allowed to go to school bc i badly relapsed. its not a recent thing, ive been slowly loosing weight since october, when after an actually really seriously-taken but still failed recovery attempt i kind of lost my hopes for full recovery. (i can still imagine it in the distant future tho... but to actually start doing it now.... ehh..)
one of the reasons bc of which i have failed is the pain which comes after eating a decent amount of food, a bigger meal, or even smaller amounts of foods that i avoided for a long time. i got fed up (lol) with this, and decided that i would pay attention to eat less to avoid being in pain afterwards.
not a great idea, my friends, not a great idea.
it works in the short term, but it only makes your stomach even more sensitive, and shortly you can barely eat without pain, your damn safe foods start becoming scary, and you just spiral spiral spiral deeper and deeper and deeper into this.
and yes, you loose weight but at what cost?? (i think this applies to any ed that results in weight loss tbh) the weightloss was one of the reasons my parents noticed that something is wrong with me again (or still, rather)
the other reason was the stress. i had become so so stressed bc of this, and not only this, bc school, oh my beloved, just cant fucking chill. what makes it even worse is that there are only 1 and a half years until university and i seriously need to make decisions in relation to my future, but i never find the time for this with the every other thing that is going on at the same time (looking at my biology teacher.. but also no, he actually cares about me i think; im just a perfectionist who takes everything personally, even if it is directed on those of my classmates who dont study shit and dont even care, and not me who literally learns every damn letter for his tests) also i have an upcoming chemistry exam in spring which i also didnt have the time to really start preparing for.
the dorm was just the cherry on top, with all those skinny girls, and the ones who could never not mention their diet or weightloss or even just be quiet during the 'silentium' (the compulsory study time in the dorm). my roommates were always having fun, noisily, happily, while i was sitting at my desk, barely keeping myself together, so so angry and so so SO jealous of them who could enjoy their time. which i didnt have. unerstandable though, they are attending different, less strict schools and/or are 2 years younger.
so living in that dorm and going to school was draining my time and even more my energy, my mental space, my sanity even, and i was spiraling, like badly.
im honestly so grateful for my parents for not letting me stay in that hell for any longer. i have been at home since last friday, and i honestly enjoy it a lot. i have much more time now, i can sleep enough and study without rushing. it is nice, i could even try solving a few chemistry exam sheets from the previous years and it actually went well!! im really glad :D
though ed-wise im not doing so good. the digestive issues are the biggest problem rn. being in pain for hours after a meal just discourages me from eating tbh.
my parents made some rules: i mustnt do any exercise, only a little yoga (less than an hour daily, just twice a week allowed to be an hour long), and i mustnt walk for longer than 30 mins. i think it goes without saying that i can easily break the time-related ones, but at least while doing so i know im not supposed to do that, and i stopped exercising which is progress in itself (not huge but hey). there arent any eating related rules. yet. i say this bc my mom always checks my weight in the mornings when shes still at home when i wake up, and she tells my dad, who will soon get really angry if i dont gain any. he is already angry for my complains about my stomach pain, he says he is never not in some kind of pain (he is 50) so really i should just get used to it. but my mom told me he had told her he thought i should see a doctor with this, so actually he does care about me a lot, he just cant communicate it. me coming home was his idea too. he cant stand seeing me destroying myself and he only wants the best for me, i know that.
i can only stay at home for 4 weeks (with this one) otherwise i have to repeat this grade. or decide to be homeschooled from now on. this wont be an easy decision.
all in all, ive been trying not to worry much in the past few days but soon its time to think about what i plan to do in the future. and i should do something about my stomach too, it cant keep going like this. so, a lot of things to do, but at least im in a calm, supportive environment now (my mom is the one who is always there for me and im super super thankful for her). idk what will happen, i hope things fall into place.
i dont rly expect anyone to read all of this, it was just nice to type it out, but if you did then congratulations now you know my current struggles more than anyone irl!!!! (okay maybe except for my mom, but still)
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liaarchived · 3 years
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Favorite Meal: A Birthday Special
Synopsis: Bakugou get served breakfast in bed for his birthday ;))
Pairing: Pro-Hero!Bakugou x GN!Reader (With a Vagina)
Warnings: 18+, Smut, Oral (Both receiving and giving), Fingering, Degradation, Anal Play (like a tiny lil bit bc I fully believe Bakugou is an ass man), 69-ing (??), also heavily unedited because I hate editing my own smut🥴 [If I missed anything please let me know! :))]
Word Count: 2.17K
Genre: Smut with little plot
A/N: LISTEN I KNOW IM LATE TO THE GAME BUT I LIVE IN PST SO ITS STILL HIS BIRTHDAY IN MY TIMEZONE!!! With that being said here is some filthy Birthday smut for my fav gremlin boi. Hope you all enjoy! <33
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The warm rays of the morning sun leak in through the drapes and coax you awake. You turn your head to the person that’s attached to the arm wrapped around your waist. He’s still soundly asleep, puffs of warm breaths escape from his lips. It’s rare for you to wake up before your boyfriend. He was always up either with the sun or even before the sun. But on days of special occasions, much like today, when he took a day off from hero work you were able to sneak out of bed - before the explosive blonde - to do something special for him.
Today’s special occasion was his birthday and you were determined to make the man breakfast in bed. You had to work fast, however, because you knew it wouldn’t be long before Katsuki noticed your absence in bed and got up himself. You’re smart though and you had prepped everything the night before. You turn the stove on and quickly whip up his meal. You managed to make a pot of coffee in that time and poured two mugs full of the energizing dark liquid. One is left black for Katsuki and the other you prepare for yourself.
It takes about 20 minutes for you to whip up Katsuki’s favorite breakfast. You plate everything and set it on a wooden tray and carefully balance everything on your way to your shared bedroom. You silently thank your past self for prepping everything last night because as you walk into your bedroom you find your boyfriend starting to sit up in bed, his eyes still foggy with sleep. A warm smile tugs at your lips as vermillion eyes are set on you then the contents balancing in your hands.
Katsuki smirks at you, eyes still slightly droopy as he speaks. “What’s the special occasion, Sweet Cheeks?”
“You know very well that today is your birthday, Katsu.” You roll your eyes at the hero's antics, but can feel a blush rush up to your features at the sound of the blonde’s rasping morning voice.
A deep chuckle reverberates from his chest. “I know. Just wanted to hear you say it. Now c’mere. Show me whatcha got there.”
Bakugou reaches out to you then clutches his fist and unclutches to further demonstrate his desire to have you near him. If anyone else were to see the Katsuki Bakugou, Pro hero Dynamite, make grabby hands they would think he’d gone absolutely bonkers. But what most people don’t know is that when it comes to his S/O, Katsuki is an absolute dork and softie in love.
You giggle at Bakugou’s actions but comply. “Made your favorite breakfast meal and some fresh, extra hot coffee.”
Bakugou hums as he takes the tray from you, setting the tray on his lap. “This looks delicious, Sweet Cheeks. But y’know… This is my second favourite meal for breakfast.”
Bakugou smirks while taking a sip of his scolding coffee then looks at you through his lashes and wisps of steam. You pout not quite gathering what he meant by the food you had made him not being his favorite breakfast meal. You can recount a fair few times where he had made this exact dish claiming it to be his favorite. Your boyfriend smiles amusedly at you while he begins to scarf down the food.
You quietly pout while sipping your coffee. You were confused but he seemed to be enjoying the food either way. You had made yourself comfortable at the foot of your shared King sized bed. You leaned against the perch of the wooden frame. Your pout never wavering.
“What?” Katsuki chuckles while raising an eyebrow at you.
You huff into your coffee, causing the steam to form wild tendrils. “You know how many times you’ve told me this was your favorite meal for breakfast? There is no way there's suddenly something else you like more that I don’t know about.”
“Oh? You really can’t think of anything else? No other meal comes to mind?” Bakugou states while he finishes off his food.
You wrack your brain but come up blank and sigh in frustration. “I seriously can’t, Katsu.” You whine and huff again, this time in defeat, knowing you weren’t going to come up with whatever it was that Katsuki had on his mind.
Bakugou Sets the tray and his coffee on his nightstand and crawls his way towards you. “Y’know, that definitely is my favorite breakfast food. But you wanna know what my favorite meal is?”
You gulp at the hero’s close proximity. The two of you have been together for multiple years now but somehow you can still feel intoxicated by Katsuki’s cinnamon and spice scent. Your breath hitches when you suddenly feel Bakugou’s hot breath fan over your sensitive ears. You had been so preoccupied by his scent, you hadn’t even realized that the blonde had closed in on you. He had you trapped between a set of very strong and muscular arms.
“It’s something I could eat anytime of the day really, Sweet Cheeks. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, even dessert- actually scratch that. Especially for dessert. Still can’t guess, Yn?”
You shake your head, unable to fill your head with any other thoughts besides him. His scent, his voice, his presence. You were now consumed by Bakugou and you couldn’t form any other coherent thought or even words. So you opt for non verbals.
“You, Baby. You’re my favorite meal. And I think, as the birthday boy, I get to have a taste of my favorite meal. Dontcha think, Sweet Cheeks?” You can feel the smirk grow on the man’s face as you let out an involuntary whine, confirming his words, but he still decides to have a little fun and tease you. “Nuh uh, baby. I need you to use your words. Let me hear that pretty voice of yours.”
You whine again, becoming increasingly needy and generous. It’s becoming very difficult to focus on anything but Bakugou and his cock. “Please, Katsu… Want you so bad. Want you to touch me with your tongue and mouth. But- ... “
“But what, baby? What’s wrong?” Bakugou’s voice drips with dominance as he grasps your jaw gently but firmly enough to shift your face so you would look him in the eyes as you replied.
“I… I wanna suck your cock. Wanna make you feel good for your birthday, Katsu” You lull causing Bakugou to groan.
“God damn, Sweet Cheeks. You sure know how to spoil a guy. Why don’t you do me a favor,” Bakugou pulls away from you and lays down on his back, gaze still focused on you, “and sit on my face, Baby? Bring that cute ass over here and you can suck my cock while I eat you out. That way we both get what we want.”
You nod your head, saliva pooling in your mouth, practically already drooling at the thought of getting to suck your boyfriend off while you get to sit on his face. You languidly crawl over the hero’s muscular and broad frame. You still when your face is close to his and only let a second linger between the two of you before your lips come crashing down on his own. You can taste the coffee on his tongue and you’re sure he could taste it on your own as well. It’s bitter but slightly sweet. Your tongues mix together and Bakugo squeezes you closer to him. You let out a muffled moan as you begin to grind on the blonde's crotch. When you detach yourself from his lips a string of saliva keeps the two of you connected but Bakugou is desperate and pulls you back into him while he sits up to start nipping and sucking at your neck. No doubt leaving marks in his wake.
You gasp at the sensation left by Bakugou’s skillful ministrations. The feeling euphoric, so much so that you became impatient and tug at his blonde locks to get his attention. You’re gasping and your words come out breathy and not nearly as demanding as you meant them to. Bakugo doesn’t stop his attack but he does peer up at you, eyes clouded with lust, from your chest.
“Please, Katsu~” You gasp at a particularly harsh bite that’s directed right next to your nipple. “Need you now. Need you to touch me. Please~”
Bakugou chuckles darkly. “How could I say when you ask so nicely, baby? Now turn around and back yourself right onto my face, pretty baby.” Before you move Bakugou if quick to slide your shorts and underwear down your legs and you kick them off to the side.
You comply with your boyfriend’s orders and turn around then back yourself to hover over the hero’s head. You immediately bend down to rest your face next to Katsuki’s clothed member. The appendage strained against the thin material of a pair of old sweats Bakugou liked to wear around the house. You hook your thumbs under the elastic band and drag them down slowly allowing his cock to catch at the elastic and pull down with it. When Bakugou’s finally freed from the confines of his sweats it results in a small slapping sound when his member hits his pelvis. You moan at the sight of his hard dick, flushed red, and leaking with precum.
You lick your lips and dip down to lick at Bakugou’s cock when you're stopped short by the shocking pleasure caused by your boyfriends thick tongue making a strip up your folds then another one down. Your hands, which are resting on Katsuki’s thick thighs, curl and you dig your nails into his skin. Your breathing becomes erratic when your actions elicit a moan from Bakugou’s lips which are attached to your clit.
Your focus is quickly snapped back to Bakugou’s length. You kitten-lick across the tip, gathering the leaking precum. You hum in satisfaction and start taking Bakugou’s cock into your mouth. You suck at the tip before taking him inch by inch until he’s hitting the back of your throat and you’re swallowing him down. Your throat contracts around the blonde’s length, squeezing him.
“Fuck, Baby. You’re so good at that. Takin’ all o’ my cock in that slutty mouth of your’s. Sucking my off like the little cock whore you are. Fuck…” Bakugou’s speech is slurred and his drawls out his words.
You hum in appreciation for Katsuki’s words, having them spur you on as you bob your head, making sure to take him fully when your head drops down. Your eyes are stinging with tears and you can feel drool dribbling down the corner of your mouth but you couldn’t care less because Bakugou’s tongue was expertly alternating between curling your clit and delving into your wet hole, while his hands were at work kneading your ass, giving each cheek a little spank here and there.
Bakugou growls when you gag on him. “Shit, baby, doin’ so well, takin’ me so well. Fuck I’m so close. Want you to cum for me first though, Sweet Cheeks. Can ya do that for me? You gonna come all over my mouth for me, baby?”
You squeal as Bakugou’s tongue dives into your cunt again and one of his hands slides down to rub your clit and his other thumb slides down to your asshole to circle the rim and push on it with just enough pressure that he doesn’t push in. The new mixed sensations throw you off the edge and you scream around Bakugou's cock while you cum hard, gushing into his mouth. Your vision goes white and your ears begin to ring so much so that you barely notice the warning spilling from Bakugou's mouth. But it’s there, in a distant daze. You register the warm spurts of cum spilling down your throat and on instinct you swallow every single drop Bakugou has to give.
Katuki grunts one more time as the last of his load shoots into your throat. You let him slip out of your mouth and pant while drool dribbles out of your mouth. You can feel how much of a mess you are but before you get to complain about the mess that was made, Bakugou manhandles you and picks you up bridal style.
“Thank you for my meals, baby.” His lips softly meld with yours. “Now why don’t we take a shower and watch movies on the couch until we have to go to my surprise party.”
You huff and pout at the mention of the party that was supposed to be a secret. “Katsu,” You whine, “you weren’t supposed to know about it. How’d you find out?”
“That stupid Deku gave it away. I grew up with the nerd so unfortunately I can understand his mumbling and he let it slip. Don’t worry, Sweet Cheeks. I’ll still pretend to be surprised.”
You sigh in defeat. “Fine. And, hey, Katsu?”
The blonde hums as his gaze falls back to you.
“Happy Birthday.”
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seijorhi · 3 years
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asks :))
what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...
What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen
it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha
Just read nostos-
First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳
Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼
ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)
you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty
Omfg that fic was so good!
Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)
Looking forward to your future work <3
ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33
You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!
The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*
A+++++
ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha
I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome
fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha
I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou
ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha
OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕
TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha
Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫
tysm nonnie!!! <33
i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though
bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha
Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now
lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol
your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them
thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader
RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again
‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!
Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.
(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)
Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do
-🥚
GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!
Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld
poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha
Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &
This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin
i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha
That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are
TYSM NONNIE!!! <33
Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---
Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.
Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...
https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ
Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)
~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸
i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby
idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics
i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you
Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!
he most certainly did :))
LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.
id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️
EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh
Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )
To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅
ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺
I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao
kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!
You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.
🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨
After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤
choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌
what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?
(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)
i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))
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halcyon-writings · 3 years
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family
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requested?: yes (anonymous) //tldr, if alucard had a sibling (the reader, of course) dealing with the loss of family, both living and not
note(s)/warning(s): canonical character death, spoilers babyyyyy, violence and injury, angst it’s rare for anyone in this series to have a good time huh?, also for this being that the reader can literally look however you want, imma say Lisa isn’t white bc I do what I want and it’s my fic :) this is also the most i’ve written in a good while omg, im highkey proud so pls don’t let this flop
Lisa Tepes is dead.
Your mother, is dead.
Killed, burned alive. Gone to ashes.
All because the church had believed she was a witch of sorts. Several thoughts dance in the back of your mind as you gaze upon the pyre. Smoldering from the heat, the flames gone. Your father leaving his message, no, his warning, that he would act in one year.
“A farce that was!” You hear a shout, and you force down the bitter laugh, throat tight and eyes burning. Especially so when you slowly begin to hear continued shouts of agreement, from voices previously silent.
Here your mother was, her final resting place. Burned to ashes for some sick show of power.
And you could do nothing as she was mocked for it.
Your fist clenched at your side, you feel your nails cutting into your skin, but you walk away to return home.
And to say that the castle was no less better was an understatement. Your father was most likely in his quarters.
And when you finally sit down, the weight of your weary finally settling against your soul, do you allow yourself cry. Quiet tears turning to sobs as you muffle your voice with a pillow.
You had failed her. Missing the chance to save your mother, too late to have done anything.
But you pause, noticing the presence at your door, your brothers familiar knocking pattern resounding suddenly through the empty hall.
“Come in,” Your voice is embarrassingly raspy. As you clear your throat, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. But it wouldn’t hide the redness of your eyes.
Adrian says nothing, and a part of you wishes he did. His larger hand takes yours. A comforting squeeze.
You blink again feeling your eyes burn, and you squeeze his hand back.
“Father is...” He trails off, no doubt thinking of what he could say next.
“What he plans on doing, it’s not justice.”
You stare up at him, But it would be deserving. A bitter corner of your mind supplies.
While Adrian had taken after Mother in his demeanor, much more kinder, more welcoming. You were no doubt like Father. Reserved, distrusting, easily prone to grudges if you were wronged in some way.
But you bite your tongue.
“He gave them a year,” You murmur after some time, “But no doubt he’s ready to calling his armies.”
At this Adrian turns alarmed. the warmth from his hand slips away.
“We must stop him!”
You’re still reeling from the events from earlier today, and a part of you wishes to have no part in his attempt to try and stop your father. But then you remember your mother.
Her kindness, regardless of how she was viewed for being different.
And your warily stand anyway.
If only you had more sense. Your father remains eerily silent as he embraces you both. His hold tighter, and while Adrian seemed convinced, you saw the dark look in his eyes.
The year had passed. You weren’t surprised to hear of the bloodshed.
It was naive to expect otherwise. While reluctantly following your brother, you can only stand, frozen as your blood feels like ice in your veins as your remaining family clashes.
“No.” Your voice is barely a whisper.
They don’t hear you.
Glass shatters.
And foolishly enough, you rush forward.
-
With your brother injured and fleeing, and you yourself were not free from any sort of pain.
Stepping in between the two as they fought ended with a gnarly gash on your shoulder, as you fell to your knees and blood slipping past your fingers. Your father stands in front of you, like a protective pillar as your brother stares in shock, quickly wanting to help you in some way.
And then the fight is over. Your brother is gone too.
The castle is much larger and colder now.
As you’re confined to your room, the wound healing into an angry red, then to a muted and dull scar. For a moment you wished it took longer, your father guilty and you were reminded of times you had been sick when you were younger. While you had not been too keen on the typical children’s books, reading theory on physics and other sciences only seemed fun when he would read to you and you’d ask questions in between passages. (Your voice funny from a stuffy nose led to laughter and a small coughing fit but otherwise it was nice).
But now was not the time to reminisce on the happy childhood.
You know you cannot stay. Ultimately, Adrian had been right. Once you feel as though you can move your arm once again, slowly, you begin pack a small bag. You didn’t want to build up any suspicions, finding some money in your room and whenever you could take a few coins or so from your father that he would not miss.
Extra clothes were folded and put away separately.
And you make your escape on a rainy evening, the uneven droplets helping hide your tracks. But you knew now that your father had brought back Hector and Isaac, new generals to help fight in his war, you had to be weary of the night creatures that would no doubt be sent after you.
Well, you were creative. At times flying in a transformed look, no one would suspect a bat in the dark of night afterall. And it was easier to. find good vantage points that way. But to also avoid any people, you didn’t quite trust yourself to not get into an altercation with a bigot.
You rarely slept longer than necessary, especially not when those dreams were memories or nightmares.
Now that you had learned how to walk, you were a right menace. It was an uphill battle in itself to keep you in one place. You were curious and the world you knew (being your father’s vast castle) was huge. Your childlike curiosity was never let down by your adventures.
You laugh quietly, which sounds like small squeaks as you fly up and hide above the gaudy chandeliers. Your father, giant coat gone, hair tied back and in a plain dress shirt and slacks as he searched for a curious toddler.
Snickers continuing as he paces down the hall. You hop down, landing slowly and feet planting into the ground, knees bent. Before you had down the opposite direction.
The lab usually wasn’t a place you could be allowed in on your own. But having heard that your mother was there, you knew it wouldn’t be a problem! So your little legs carried you along. Until you found the familiar doorway.
Dozens of tubes and mechanisms had you turning your head as you wandered in, your shoes tapping against the marble floor.
“Now what brings you here, sweetling?” The warmth of your mother’s voice has you smiling before you see her. As you run forward and hug her side, clutching her dress in your small fists. “Not causing trouble for your father are you?”
You shake your head grin betraying your word, “Nope! I’m not doing any trouble!”
“And how since when did that happen?” She laughs gently.
“Now.”
Your brother looks up from his own books, waving before returning to work. Your nose crinkles, so much for playing experimenting. But before you can say much, your nearly yelp as you’re brought up into the air by a pair of strong arms.
“I’ve found you, little wanderer.” Your father’s voice carries no heat behind it. Then again, he was always soft hearted for you and your brother. But most of all, your mother.
“I’m not little!” You pout, “I’m big now!”
-
You’re taken away from your reverie at the snap of a twig.
With your lack of sleep, as you had insisted on traveling more, you were less than surprised to have been snuck up on.
“Peace, my friend,” The old man murmurs. You keep your knife in an iron grip in front of you. Who you’re guessing is his son or grandson, has his hands raised the same way, but no weapon to be seen, magic, oh good. Then again, not like you needed a knife when you could make your nails go into claws and the fangs. Don’t forget the fangs.
“I can’t exactly be peaceful when it’s the middle of the night and suddenly figures in blue robes appear out of now where,” You answer dryly. But seeing as how the others behind the main two have not done or said anything noteworthy, nor were their stances make them look like they could really fight, you lower your weapon slightly.
Clearing your throat, “Although, I shouldn’t be swinging my own weapon around either.”
The old man just smiles gently. And you can’t help but be just slightly comforted.
In the end, the speakers stop for the evening. And the Elder, despite looking like a frail old man, is firm in his decision that you stay and “eat properly.” And like a scolded child, you listen. Food and drink all but pushed into your hands as you’re quickly brought into conversation, the previous confrontation all but forgotten.
And then you perk up when he mentions Gresit.
“So... the sleeping soldier,” You begin, slowly chewing on the sweet bread you had been given. “It was true?”
The Elder nods, “My grandchild and a traveller, they had gone to explore it. Well, the traveller had gone to save my grandchild. I will not hide the fact that I was a bit doubtful. But Belmont had proved himself a man of his word. Although, he does need to drink more water.”
You blink, a look of a surprise clear on your face. Belmont...
Fuck. 
“Although I hadn’t expected the legend of the sleeping soldier to be realized so quickly.” 
At your inquisitive look, the Elder begins to explain. Of a holy warrior beneath Gresit, who would come to save it’s people in their most dire of hours. 
“The pair had come up with a man with long hair, like gold.” You couldn’t help but let out the breath you had been holding. So the Belmont didn’t try to kill him. you could breathe a little easier at that fact. 
“Where are they now?” You ask, holding the empty cup in your hands, as you stare down as though waiting for something.
Getting your answer, you stand, adjusting your bag over your shoulders. You wave off the concern in staying, if it had already been several days since the Speakers had left Gresit, then you needed to cover a lot of land to get to your brother. 
That is, until you saw the expression on the Elder’s face grow stern, as though he was scolding a child. With a heavier bag, one that the Elder insisted that you take some more things you could eat along the way, in exchange you give the Elder a small trinket you had been using to hide from the monsters of your father’s army, you finally set off. While your worries were not completely settled, your shoulders felt lighter. Metaphorically of course.
Of course, giving away the object that kept you hidden made it a bit more, difficult, when it came to trying to hide and travel at night. Much less even try to stop and rest. 
It had barely been two days since you had left the speakers, and already, you had run into some trouble, a beastly creature’s claws barely caught on your sleeve, leaving your arm bare as you shuddered from the chill in the air. You can only sigh mournfully, you really liked that coat. But, better your sleeve than say, you actually getting wounded. 
Your nails resemble claws, while your free hand holds the dagger in a steady grip. But being surrounded on all sides, it did not look promising.
Well, you thought mournfully, if you died you could at least see your mother again.
Until you hear the sound of what reminds you of a whistle? And then a sword flying through the air, slicing through the night creatures, giving you a chance to get some distance.
You hear the surprised shout of your name, and look up, to see your brother wide eyed, sword now returned to him, and a man and woman standing at his side.
“Um... hi.”
-
Much to your relief, the night creatures are easily taken care of.
And as you’re finally able to explain your story, you find yourself relaxing into the extra cloak given to you by the Elder.
“You mean you met the Speakers on your journey?!” A woman, petite with short blonde locks, who you learn is named Sypha, asks, and you notice the way her shoulders sag in relief.
You nod, “Yes. They all were safe.” If her shoulders sagged anymore she’d full on be slouching. You leave out the part of leaving a possibly precious trinket with them, not wanting her to think you cursed them or something.
“So you mean to tell me, Dracula, fucking Dracula, had more than one kid? That he actually had a woman not only give him not just one, but two children?” Is incredulously asked next by the scruffy looking man. Trevor, as your brother says.
You only stare in annoyance, sure your father was about to raise an army to annihilate the human populace but he didn’t used to be that way.
Before you can retort with a scathing remark of your own, Sypha elbows him harshly in the side. And you know it hurts from the way he immediately puts a hand where she hit him, eyes widening slightly. Serves him right.
“And what of...” Adrian- no Alucard as he wishes to be called, asks, near hesitant.
“Father?” You ask, arms crossed, “Same old same old. Planning the same amount of destruction here or there.”
As he looks to the snow covered earth, you roll your eyes, “Did you expect anything different?”
It’s quiet, and neither Sypha nor Trevor speak.
“No.”
You all sat around camp quietly for a while after that.
-
Your lungs feel like they’re being constricted. Your throat burns as you struggle to breathe, claws digging into your skin like knives. Before you’re thrown backwards, landing harshly against the wall. Books fall from the book case and your weapon clatters noisily from the ground. 
You take shallow breaths, barely standing before you’re thrown once more. Curse your father’s stature and supernatural strength. You close your eyes, waiting for another attack and at least hoping to brace yourself for it, but it never came.
Instead, your brother stands in front of you, as he and your father remain in a standstill. Sypha and Trevor’s footsteps are rushing towards you three. 
It all continues to move so fast, until he stops noticing the painting of your mother, as she had been holding your brother and then you as a baby, and the next thing you know, your father is staked through the heart. And with wobbly legs, you take your sword, and swing. So falls Dracula. But it felt like no victory. 
You sit up with an alarmed look, stopping yourself from shouting.
That was... a dream? You rub your eyes, feeling that your cheeks are wet and you sigh. 
When you see a shadow looming over you, the light of the fire giving slight visibility, you freeze. Before noticing it’s your brother and not his companions. 
“Sorry,” You say, making sure to not look at him, so that he didn’t see your tears. 
Quietly, he places his coat over your shoulders, sitting beside you, wrapping his own blanket loosely around his own shoulders. “You have nothing to apologize for.” 
You only grip the jacket lapels tighter, shaking slightly as you hiccup, unable to stop yourself from crying again. 
He must think it’s because you miss your mother, and you do. But this dream was far different. And you say nothing as he brings you into his arms. Your tears having long since dried when the sun rises moments later. But you find yourself falling asleep as your brother rubs soothing circles on your back, feeling the build up exhaustion finally leaving you. 
When you’re awake much later in the day you can’t help but laugh a little when Sypha scolds your brother for being mean enough to make you cry, he didn’t you assure her quick enough, although you’re back to laughing when she then turns around to scold Belmont when he makes another slight comment. 
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mmmonie · 3 years
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Hi my other post? Got notes? And I already had this basically ready to go so………….? Here it is I guess! Also I’m so sorry for how long this is LOL…..I am incapable of shutting up once I get going so it’s under the read more for you…….(also?? thank you? for the followers uhm cheesed to meet you? 😳 lol)
This is basically what I imagine the manifestation of a demon's powers to be like??? I called it the “juvenile phase” in my other post so thats what im going with lol
Here’s some things I said in my first post that are relevant here, slightly edited. (I elaborate more on the different ways demons are born in that post and I think they’re pretty self explanatory, but u might wanna go read it just in case it’s not clear enough 😔 sorry): (link to first post)
* Demons have multiple forms, not just the two shown in game. All in all the brothers have 5, each becoming less and less humanoid. (Most demons only have 4) 
* Half/human born demons are more likely to have both a tail and wings in their first demonic form. Stronger demons like the brothers are merely showing off the strongest of the two, but everyone has both. (Again bc I think they’re sick as fuck lol) This is why the stereotypical devil in our world has both wings and a tail. 
*a demon's features can be influenced by what sin they are, but it’s not a hard or fast rule.**
***this does not apply to little Ds whose look is entirely dependent on their sin. They are an entirely separate conversation 😈 (I elaborate on this briefly at the very end LOL) 
* half/human born demons can have two sins assigned to them, though this makes them less powerful in both. Usually there is a more prominent sin. 
*It should also be noted fallen angels do not have a juvenile phase. While the powers they develop after the Fall are different, they already come prepared, having had intense restraint implemented in their training in the celestial realm. The only things they develop are tails and horns, which happens very quickly during the Fall. They still have the same instincts as demons lol they are just much better at maintaining control. 
*another note: I’m gonna use acronyms for our different types of demons after a while to save me some headache. They’re pretty self explanatory (Ex: half demon = HD) 
With that let’s begin, shall we? 
~~~
*All demons are born with innate magical abilities, the juvenile phase is just the manifestation of their sins and some of their power. Some powers do not come into fruition until much later in a demon's lifespan. (Will elaborate later) 
*They won’t have a complete hold on their powers after this either, it’s just like. The bare minimum of getting a grip so they don’t cause immediate damage LOL they have many years to get into the nuances. Magic to demons is about as easy as breathing, but it still comes with its own challenges. 
*Many of the powers that manifest are shaped by what kind of sin(s) they display. I’m gonna say the sin(s) developed depend on the individual rather than it being hereditary. Though there are powers that are inherent to all demons. (i.e. hypnotizing humans like in lesson 11-14)
*The beginning of the juvenile phase starts when a demon develops their horns, wings, claws and tails. 
*For almost every demon, the juvenile phase lasts about two or three weeks. A human born’s phase will immediately kick in the day after their ceremony. Because of a half demon’s heritage, their transition is delayed and will usually happen around “middle school” age. (However many thousands of years that is lol. Also imagine going through puberty AND growing a bunch of extra shit.........smh.) 
*Natural demons have it slightly easier, they go through this phase very early (around toddler age). They develop the nubs of their horns, wings and tail a while after they’re born. 
*However this is NOT easier for whoever is taking care of them. Demons that develop later are mostly self-sufficient, meaning you can leave them to rest a bit. Can't leave a baby alone for very long though, can you? Especially not when they’re hurtling objects around with their mind, or causing things to spontaneously combust. (Also imagine a regular baby during their teething phase……….now imagine a baby’s teething phase being ten times more itchy AND manifesting new powers. Congratulations on your very cranky and powerful baby, best of luck to you.)
*Parents take this in stride as it’s just how demon babies are. It is all very Addams family esque…. like awwww, our baby just tried to induce horrific hallucinations of our own deaths!!! 🥺🥰🤧 they grow up so fast!!!!
*HB and HD wings and things grow in very quickly. The nubs will sprout from the skin and then mature into wings and horns in just a few days. ND transitions are much more drawn out, taking about a week to complete. All the growth is very itchy for everyone though. 
*You know when you have an itch that just won’t quit or that you can’t reach, so you have to use some outside force to get some relief? Same concept here. Much like deer and their antlers, demons rub their horns and wings up against things to get to those spots they can’t get to themselves. It also has the added effect of encouraging growth and getting excess skin/keratin off them. Family members often help with preening and scratching. 
*There are special concoctions/spells to make the process easier and to help ease the itchiness. As well as products made for specific purposes, like to get at that space where your wings meet your shoulders lol 
*There are also things to pad horns. Having your baby demon impale your shins is no fun. Neither is having your best friend accidentally get stuck in the cabinet because their horns went through the shelf. 
*The first week and a half is usually when a demon is most active. They are encouraged to play fight, stretch their new wings and become familiar with their new instincts. 
•Play fighting is a way to help learn to readjust to their new strength. (and thank god demons are near impossible to kill lol they can get VERY rough.) It’s also considered a bonding activity. 
*Hunting instincts also come into play so it’s not uncommon to see a demon in their juvenile phase playing a really fucked up game of hide and seek with their loved ones (no one gets hurt. Probably <3) 
*These two skills also help with learning how to fly. A game of fucked up hide and seek in the forest is both fun and educational. 
*This is very much like when puppies' paws are too big for they got damn them, except y'know. with horns and claws. So expect some accidental scrapes and
*This is also usually the time where their sin(s) will manifest, along with their new powers. At this point this is where family comes in, as a newly developing demon is reliant on everyone around them to help them learn how to control their strength/powers. Taking care of a demon in their juvenile phase is a family bonding activity, and even those who are prone to being cold are a bit softer during this time. (A reminder that family can be anyone, not just blood related.) 
*The second half of their transition is more about conserving energy for the introduction of their final form.  
*Nesting instincts kick in and are important here, because any nest created will be that demon's home for a period of time. They won’t stray very far from wherever they’ve chosen to stay. Nearly all demons will just choose a comfortable place in their home to nest, however, some demons (i.e. demons like Levi) need a special place because of their final forms. They will be drawn there instinctively.
*A nest is just composed of soft material and sometimes extra objects. For example a greed demon might want shiny or precious objects around their nest. 
*This will also be the home of the loved one(s) taking care of their demon. They will go out and find anything the other one might need or want. A demon will only choose one or two others to take care of them at this time. Other family members are allowed to visit, but the chosen demon(s) stay with their struggling one for nearly the entire last half of this period. 
*It’s considered an honor to be chosen and it is a bragging point, especially if you have been chosen multiple times. 
*Despite what you might think, parental/domestic skills are very important to demons. They live a very long time, and it be a waste to treat their spawn poorly. They’re stuck with them for nearly an eternity, so you might as well try to do your best with them. Being able to showcase being chosen to whomever your courting is, how you say.............a little sexy. So being chosen multiple times? “Wow you’d be a great parent? Tell me more…..😳” 
*Demons will slowly spend more and more time in their nest as they approach the end of their phase. Growing extra things takes a lot of energy! Many demons end up mostly sleeping for the last couple days in preparation for the end. 
*Since they are so sleepy, this is the most outwardly cuddly most demons will be. Close family members are encouraged to come stay in the same space for a while. The demon will often be asleep, but waking up and playing games with them is a great way to bond. If you’re REALLY special you might end up being allowed to sleep in their nest for a bit. 
*The juvenile phase culminates when the demon reaches their final form (usually the fourth one.) Over this last half, they slowly grow more monstrous features. Scales, fur, claws, eyes, teeth, spines.........the whole lot! Anything and everything you can imagine. Each demon's final form is unique, though they do not get a decision as to what features they have. Final forms tend to be very large. 
*This is where they are taught how to use their glamor and how to piece themselves back into a form that’s easier to maneuver. Think of it like starting from the top and working your way down. 
*There are demons whose job it is to go mark down the details of every single final form. Things like what powers manifested, to how tall they are, their overall physical strength and what sin(s) they portray, etc. They are all recorded in the royal archives. It’s a bit like a right of passage, especially for younger demons and their parents. 
*Going back to the very top, some powers won’t manifest until after the juvenile phase. Some won’t even manifest until the demon has hit sexual maturity (which takes a MUCH longer time for demons.) This is true of almost every power that Lust develops except for perhaps an increase in their charisma/ability to charm. Demons who are assigned Lust are considered the late bloomers of the demonic world, as almost all other sins manifest more power right away. 
*Also relating to the top of this post: the reason Little Ds looks are biased on what sin they are is because they are pure concentrated forms of sin given life. They’re extracted from the souls of humans who committed sin, and used for grunt work/errand running. They develop their own personalities as they go, but it takes a bit so they’re kind of a blank slate until then.
~~~
I was gonna be like oh treat for you here’s how the brothers dealt with Satan and his juvenile phase but this is long as FUCK already so I will make…...a separate post. Edit: SURPRISE! treat for u! heres the link if u want
Thanks for reading! Until next time ig? 
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Obey Me Romanian MC
idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)
Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30
Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele
[added translations]
(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)
Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?
MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah
-
MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.
Asmo: Awww
Beel: :(
Belphie: What?!
Satan: Why?
MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴
-
Asmo: But I thought you could-
MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
-
Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-
MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*
-
Solomon: What is this weird potion.
MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*
MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖
-
MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?
MC: Tsch tsch tsch
Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond
MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it
Lucifer: Fair enough
-
Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?
MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔
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MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨
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(after the Belphie incident)
MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too
-
MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜
Belphie: My butt still hurts...
MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)
-
*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*
Mammon: W-what's that???
Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose
Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!
MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)
-
MC: Who has summoned me?
Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.
MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨
Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.
MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*
Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable
MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-
-
Barbatos: MC...
MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.
Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?
MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*
-
Diavolo: Do you like my castle?
MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.
MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows
-
Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...
MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳
MC: Real music here 😌
-
MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*
Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...
MC: That's the spirit!
-
MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!
-
Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.
Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.
MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼
-
Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!
MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...
MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?
-
Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*
Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*
MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*
MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!
-
MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊
Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-
MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)
-
Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?
MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*
MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...
Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?
MC: The secret is to use your wrist-
-
MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?
Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?
MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you
-
MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?
Simeon: ...what? :)
MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!
MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there
MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.
-
Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.
MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)
-
MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is
Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.
Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.
-
MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️
(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)
-
MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*
-
Belphie: *misbehaving*
MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)
MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*
-
MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ
-
MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)
-
MC: Where is my țuică? :)
Everyone: *quiet*
MC: I won't get mad :)
MC:
MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)
Everybody: *runs*
MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use
-
Levi: *exists*
MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*
MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)
-
MC: Lucifer you don't understand!
MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!
-
MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore
-
Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight
MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)
-
MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică
MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)
-
Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe
MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)
-
Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?
MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)
Mammon, clueless: ok thanks
-
MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like
-
Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?
MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.
-
Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*
Asmo: Please love me!
MC: *already in wedding attire*
-
MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!
MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?
MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT
-
MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*
MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)
-
MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again
MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.
-
MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)
MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)
MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition
-
Diavolo: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)
-
Simeon: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)
-
Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...
MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)
-
MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?
MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake
MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house
MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN
-
MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so
MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*
MC: that works wonders for me
49 notes · View notes
medicifm · 3 years
Text
*  not  me  actually  writing  an  intro  the  night  before  like  i  always  mean  to  😳  hennyway  hey  biddies  ,  i'm  chloe  ,  im  in  the  snowy  part  of  pst  ,  &  i  use  she / her  pns  .  i’ve  been  . . . . . . .  scouring  the  tags  for  an  rp  like  this  so  im  so  excited  to  bring  this  newish  muse  of  mine  here  !   im  here to  do  the  honours  of  introducing  my  himbo - on - the outside , manipulative - shit - on - the - inside  . . .  oscar  🤡
Tumblr media
(  twenty  three , cis  man , he / him  ) ✉ ― hey  babes , have  you  met  OSCAR  MEDICI ?  they’re  working  here  as  THE  HEAD  CHEF  AT  LORENZO’S ,  a  few  villas  down  from  where  you’re  staying  .  you  might  hear  them  singing  ALRIGHTY  APHRODITE  BY  PEACH  PIT  playing  from  their  villa  ,  it’s  their  favourite  song  .  yes  ,  they  hear  that  they  look  like  JACK  GILINSKY  a  lot  ,  actually  -  it’s  really  uncanny  .  their  friends  back  home  in  SYDNEY , AUSTRALIA  say  that  if  they  were  on  a  tv  show  ,  their  trope  would  be  THE  WOLF  IN  SHEEP’S  CLOTHING  ,  how  funny  is  that  ? ✎ chloe , 22 , she/her , pst
𝐢  .
pinterest  |  wanted  plots  |  
𝐢𝐢  .
name  :  oscar  gabriel  medici
age  :  twenty  three
dob  /  sign  :  december  4th  ,  1997  /  sagittarius  sun  ,  leo  moon  ,  libra  rising 
pob  :  sydney , australia
gender / pronouns  :  cis  man  &  he / him / his
career :  head  chef  at  lorenzo’s  ,  full - time  heathen  ,  professional  disappointment  for  mothers  everywhere  .
drinking / drugs / smoking :  yes / more  often  than  he’d  admit / never .  
religion  :  jewish  background  ,  currently  non - practicing .
physical  :  jack  gilinsky  fc ,  dark  brown / black  longish  curls  (  reference  )  ,  dark  brown  eyes  ,  canon  jack  g’s  tattoos  ,  no  piercings  ,  6′2″  ,  175  lbs  ,  lean  but  strong  .  tattoos  a  la  canon!jack  ,  pearly  white  smile  that  he  may  . . .  or  may  not  . . .   use  crest  3D  white  strips  weekly  to  maintain  .  lots  of  burns  &  scars  from  kitchen  mishaps  on  his  hands  &  arms  .
traits  :  hard - working  ,  flighty  ,  intelligent  ,  hedonistic  ,  charismatic  ,  intense  ,  volatile  ,  
other  :  speaks  weird  french  (  aussie  accent  tings  )  ,  tans  easily  but  wears  sunscreen  nonetheless  ,  works  hard  parties  harder  ,  can’t  read  a  lick  of  french  but  spends  a  lot  of  his  free  time  with  a  coffee  &  a  new  paperback  ,  has  a  bit  of  an  internal  vendetta  against  rich  people  (  for  no  real  reason  ,  he  just  doesn’t  like  most  of  them  )  ,  has  ins  with  a  bunch  the  local  farmers  &  visits  them  weekly  ,  pretends  he  isn’t  lowkey  addicted  to  nicotine  administered  via  a  puff  bar  ,  liquor  of  preference  is  tequila  or  red  wine  ,  drives  a  lil  vespa  around  town  for  the  gag  of  it  (  loves  seeing  it  haphazardly  parked  amongst  a  bunch  of  luxury  cars  )  ,  
character  inspo  :  jess  mariano  (  gilmore  girls  )  , gordon  ramsey  🤡 ,  patrick verona ( 10 things i hate about you ) , ferris bueller ( ferris bueller’s day off ) , han solo ( star wars ) .
𝐢𝐢𝐢  .
oscar’s  arrival  was  as  unwanted  to  his  parents  as  could  be  :  a  father  whose  tendencies  leaned  towards  alcoholism  &  abusing  whoever  was  in  arms  reach  ,  a  mother  whose  life  was  more  or  less  spent  at  the  nursing  home  she  worked  as  a  nurse  at  ,  evading  home  .  he  became  a  self - inflicted  loner  ,  preferring  to  do  literally  the  exact  opposite  of  what  was  expected  or  wanted  from  him  .  he  had  a  few  friends  he  ran  with  ,  but  watching  them  all  go  off  &  study  or  prepare  for  university  solidified  in  oscar’s  mind  that  the  non - traditional  route  was  for  him  .  growing  up  by  the  water  ,  oscar  always  felt  more  drawn  to  skip  school  &  head  to  the  beach  than  he  did  obeying  his  parents  wishes  .   
one  of  his  solaces  was  his  grandfather  ,  gabriel  ,  who  owned  an  italian  restaurant  in  a  beach  town  north  of  sydney  .  whenever  the  weather  was bad  &  oscar  felt  like  ditching  class  ,  he’d  head  over  to  his  nono’s  restaurant  where  his  ass  would  be  put  to  work  as  soon  as  he  set  eyes  on  the  restaurant  .  it  was  tough  work  ,  but  challenging  in  a  way  that  fanned  the  flames  in  oscar’s  heart  ,  rather  than  dimming  them  .  by  the  time  he was  a  teenager  he  was  working  in  the  restaurant  everyday  after  school  , an  agreement  between  him  &  his  grandfather  framed  on  the  back  wall  that  stated  that  as  long  as  oscar  kept  from  flunking  out  ,  he  was  allowed  to  spend  as  little  or  as  much  time  in  the  kitchen  as  he  pleased .  
his  absolute  defiance  of  anything  traditional  &  following  the  rules  made  him  unpopular  with  adults  ,  but  lowkey  cool  with  the  girls  .  by  the  time  he  was  sixteen  ,  he  was  losing  his  focus  on  the  restaurant  &  his  grades  &  spending  more  &  more  time  chasing  after  girls  .  his  nono  tried  to  get oscar  to  come  back  &  focus  ,  but  as  always  ,  anything  he’s  asked  to  do  quickly  becomes  the  thing  he’s  running  from  the  most  .
tw  :  death  ,  cancer  .  around  his  eighteenth  birthday  ,  his  grandfather  suddenly  fell  ill  with  a  rare  form  of  cancer  that  took  his  life  six  weeks  after  diagnosis  ,  which  rocked  oscar’s  world  .  he  felt  overwhelming  guilt  that  he  hadn’t  spent  more  time  with  his  grandfather  ,  which  manifested  itself  as  oscar  dropping  out  of  school  a  year  shy  of  graduation  to  commit  himself  fully  to  perfecting  his  grandfather’s  techniques  ,  learning  all  of  his  recipes  (  read  :  pouring  over  dozens  of  handwritten  cookbooks )  in  some  failed  attempt  to  get  back  some  time  with  him  .  oscar  hadn’t  been  close  with  his  parents  in  years  ,  more  or  less  seeing  them  as  wardens  of  a  prison  he  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  .  his  grandfather’s  will  left  him  the  deed  to  the  restaurant  ,  with  an  ask  that  oscar  would  promise  to  act  on  whatever  he  felt  called  towards  ,  rather  than  doing  what  others  expected  of  him  .  to  be  candid  ,  this  whole  situation  crushed  him  .
eventually  ,  he  decided  he’d  had  enough  of  the  stifling  community  he’d  grown  up  in  .  he  sold  the  restaurant  to  one  of  the  regulars  ,  a  wealthy  man  who  he’d  come  to  acknowledge  as  somewhat  of  an  uncle  ;  a  safe  pair  of  hands  who  would  treat  his grandfather’s  legacy  with  as  much  passion  &  respect  as  oscar  himself  would  .  so  he  packed  a  bag  ,  texted  his  mom  that  he  was  going  traveling  ,  &  got  on  a  flight  that  evening  .  he  traveled  all  around  -  first  through  central  america  ,  then  through  europe  ,  throughout  asia  &  africa  ,  &  spent  a  few  months  driving  a  van  across  the  continental  united  states  &  canada  for  fun  . 
eventually  ,  he  started  getting  low - ish  on  money  ,  &  decided  to  settle  in  one  of  his  favourite  places  he’d  visited  :  southern  france  .  he  arrived  in  early  2018  ,  taking  on  whatever  menial  tasks  he  could  while  learning  french  until  he  got  a  position  as  a  line  cook  in  an  italian  restaurant  .  a  few  years  later  ,  he’s  made  his  way  up  to  filling  the  head  chef  position  ,  an  honour  he  takes  with  pride  .  he’s  implemented  many  of  his  own  recipes  while  using  flavours  he’s  learned  from  his  travels  ,  with  ingredients  straight  from  local  farmers  .  he’s  earned  the  restaurant  a  two michelin  star  rating  ,  &  is  constantly  striving  for  more  to  get  that  last  star  (  both  for  his  own  ego  as  well  as  a  secret  debt  to  his  grandfather  )  .
𝐢𝐯  .
ok  but  that  vid  where  gordon  puts  two  pieces  of  bread  on  someone’s  head  &  calls  them  an  idiot  sandwich  ?  that’s  oscar  .  intense  as  fuck  in  the  kitchen  ,  &  best  nobody  catch  an  attitude  about  it  bc  he  will  not  hesitate  to  hand  them  their  ass  on  a  silver  platter  .
another  gordon  reference  :  you  know  how  he’s  the  spawn  of  satan with  adults  ,  but  the  sweetest  ,  most  helpul  guy  with  children  ?  that’s  oscar  with  his  staff  vs  people  he  wants  something  from  .  whether  its  to  sleep  with  them  (  usually  his  first  instinct  to  be  fair  )  ,  their  money  or  clout  ,  or  to  get  into  some  wild  adventure  some  random  resort  staff  wouldn’t  dream  of  getting  into  ,  he  can  turn  on  the  charm  whenever  needed  .
can  go  from  absolutely  demoralizing  someone  in  the  kitchen  to  stepping  out  into  the  lounge  to  schmooze  with  his  friends  or  cougars  who  leave  phat  tips  in  0.2  seconds  .  the  speed  at  which  his  mood  can  completely  180  is  one  of  the  seven  world  wonders  (  last  i  checked  )  .
his  love  language  is  absolutely  acts  of  service  .  catch  him  actually  falling  in  love  once  in  a  blue  moon  &  making  it  his  mission  to  cook  her  extravagant  meals  everyday  .  
the  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing  label  epitomizes  his  nice  ,  helpful  ,  charismatic  exterior  ,  while  ulterior  motives  &  disdain  for  those  who  grew  up  with  more  money  than  he  did  lurk  beneath  the  surface  . 
he  can  be  MEAN  when  someone  fucks  him  over  or  pushes  him  farther  than  he  wants  -  isn’t  afraid  to  go  for  the  low  blows  or  send  someone  home  with  an  identity  crisis  if  it  protects  himself  .
lowkey  alcoholic  but  he’s  not  ready  for  that  conversation  yet  .  he  sees  it  more  as  perks  of  the  location  &  atmosphere  he’s  found  himself  in  .
also  lowkey  falls  in  love  HARD  ,  like  this  man  is  a  closeted  romantic  but  self - sabotages  all  potential  relationships  before  they  can  get  to  that  point  out  of  fear  he’ll  be  unable  to  live  life  of  his  own  volition  (  takes  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  to  know  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  🤡  )  .  has  probably  only  had  a  few  real  relationships  besides  flings  bc  he’s  afraid  .
𝐯  .
check  out  my  wanted  plots  tag  listed  here  ,  as  well  as  my  pinterest  wanted  plots  board  here  .  here   are  some  other  suggestions  hehe  :
best  friend  /  ride  or  die  :  someone  who  knows  about  his  past  ,  keeps  him  grounded  when  he’s  lk  spiraling  &  wants  to  drop  everything  &  flee  to  some  far  flung  corner  of  the  earth  .
actual  relationship  :  it  was  fast - burn  with  deep  feelings  (  not  them  thinking  they’re  soulmates  after  dating  for  a  month  . . .  pete  &  ariana  type  beat  )  but  completely  unrealistic  .  they  have  their  own  life  ,  he’s  pretty  much  tied  to  the  restaurant  ,  not  to  mention  his  lack  of  sharing  anything  about  his  childhood / life  back  home  .  they  loved  &  cared  for  each  other  ,  but  crashed  &  burned  fairly  quickly  because  of  how  idealistic  it  was  .  they  can  either  be  on  bad  or  good  terms  now  .
hateship  with  sexual  tension  😈
summer  flings  !!
fake  boyfriend  :  he  shows  up  on  her  arm  to  her  family’s  events  where  she’s  expected  to  have  a  partner  .  it’s  not  a  real  relationship  ,  but  her  parents  don’t  need  to  know  that  .  he  plays  the  part  &  satisfies  her  parents  beyond  the  bare  minimum  ,  &  in  return  she  invites  him  to  parties  ,  takes  him  out  on  her  family’s  yacht  ,  etc  etc  .  we  luv  some  symbiosis  
i  can  always  use  more  fwbs  hehehe
squad  :  a  group  of  people  who  do  everything  together  ,  have  a  chaotic  group  chat  ,  have  nicknames  for  one  another  ,  are  utd  on  each  other’s  sex  lives  ,  party  all  night  then  show  up  to  brunch  hungover  together  .  
cat  &  mouse  :  someone  he’s  pursuing  who  isn’t  quite  giving  in  ,  &  vice  versa  .  maybe  it’s  been  going  on  a  few  years  ,  everytime  they’re  in  st  tropez  they  have  this  weird  lil  flirtationship  thing  goin  on  until  she  leaves  ,  they  forget  about  one  another  ,  then  pick  it  right  back  up  when  she  returns  .
confidant  :  preferably  someone  from  a  working  class  background  who  understands  his  plight  of  being  a  worker  amongst  people  who  expect  to  be  waited  on  .
enemies  :  they  don’t  like  his  attitude  ,  &  he  doesn’t  like  them  in  return  .  lots  of  eye  rolls  ,  shit  talking  ,  &  tension  between  their  mutual  friends  .
we’re  sleeping  together  but  we  shouldn’t  be  but  that’s  half  the  fun :  for  whatever  reason  they  became  friends  ,  starting  hooking  up  despite  it  not  being  a  good  idea  (  read  :  he’s  exes  with  one  of  her  friends  ,  her  parents  want  her  focused  on  career  ,  they’re  part  of  the  same  friend  group  ,  etc )  . . . but  now  they  can’t  stop  .  lots  of  stolen  glances  across  rooms  ,  squeezing  past  one  another  in  a  crowded  club  just  close  enough  for  a  quick  touch  to  the  back  ,  quietly  leaving  one  another’s  places  the  morning  after  &  playing  dumb  to  anyone  who  asks  . 
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Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.
When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.
Aether
He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.
Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.
16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive
22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.
!The gaggle Ghosts!
Yurei
Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo
18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly
Kakoku
Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully
Tamashi
19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt
Gunnar
A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.
!The greek gang!
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Argus agapov
16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family
Mythos agapov
23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife
Perceus
15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat
Diogenes
14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater
Herodotus
15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack
Plato
8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.
Socrates
17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning
Heracles
30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing
Zeus
46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face
Hades
50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme
Poseidon
57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care
Lillith
54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids
Esme
51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.
!the Eden gang!
Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise
General kyelli
49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically
52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active
Indigo
13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option
Akrano
16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood
19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes
Ekrano
16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright
Lilliana
16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care
19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl
Psycho-lops
16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are
19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.
Bark
17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig
Bite
17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children
20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else
Hanelle
17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable
!the band of pirates!
Aklea
A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively
Nerone
21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.
!the shakespears!
Midem(pink boi)
33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to
Miden
33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.
!gods!
Gideon
9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it
Merik
7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done
Ventus
5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean
Kyle
Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby
Horo-sha
Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it
5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans
Dima
Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted
3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh
!misc!
Ivan
24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.
More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included
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artificialqueens · 4 years
Text
Pulling Leaves Off Trees, Chapter 1: Been Through the Wringer a Couple Times (Multi) - Sportkuras
Summary:
c’est bon: damnnn
c’est bon: wait. jan isnt your apartment near shea’s
human girl: @jansport spill
Jan could feel her stomach drop as she looked at the message.
“Oh, goddamn it.”
Or: The girls try to survive college, and everything else that comes with almost being an adult.
A/N: my first fic here on artificialqueens! i noticed that arent many college au’s and group chat fics of the s12 cast so i let myself be self-indulgent for once!! its unbeta’d so apologies lmao but you can talk to me here and you can find the ao3 link here! comment if you’d like!
***
Jan started her morning like almost every college student in their third year would: to be woken up by their alarm after a night of heavy drinking. She woke up with a start and groaned as Chromatica II started blaring from her phone, blindly reaching for it on her nightstand and peering at the time.
Damn. One in the afternoon, huh?
“Thank god I don’t have class today.” The blonde muttered as she checked her notifications: 7 from Twitter, 3 from Insta, and 1 from their group chat. She sat up from her bed and scrolled through the chat, trying to quell her pounding headache.
Bon Voy
Members: jaidaessencehall, heidininacloset, jansport, jackiecox, gigigoode, crystalmethyd, britafilter, dahliasin, nickydoll, aidenzhane, and widowvondu
lebron essence ball: okay so
lebron essence ball: me and shea are at the library rn and she’s complaining to me abt how she couldnt sleep right
lebron essence ball: and chile….it was bc someone was getting RAILED last night lmaooo
lebron essence ball: she said, and i quote, “the bitch had such a good time even I’M jealous”
c’est bon: damnnn
c’est bon:wait. jan isnt your apartment near shea’s
human girl: @jansport spill
human girl: also
human girl: feels weird that we didn’t start this day with a good morning announcement from jan
c’est bon: the vibes were off 😞
Jan could feel her stomach drop as she looked at the message, “Oh, goddamn it.” She’s now acutely aware of their apartment door opening and Rock’s footsteps padding from outside her room, most likely just coming home from her class. She suddenly remembered exactly what happened last night; most especially memories of what happened between her and her roommate . Memories of them being drunk as hell, coming back to their apartment from god knows how many bars, going to Jan’s room giggling like teenagers on a sleepover and well. You know.
Jan checked her phone again.
lebron essence ball: jannette….would you happen to know who was the lucky gal? 👀
backpack backpack: good morning to you too gigi 🙄
human girl: *Afternoon, actually
human girl: Now spill! I know you know almost everyone on that floor.
She pinched the bridge of her nose. How in the hell was she gonna say that her and Rock got drunk and hooked up as casually as possible? She could lie, but Jaida, Brita and Widow could smell bullshit coming from a mile away, and she’s a horrible liar. They’d know she was bluffing.
Might as well get it over it. She let out a sigh as she typed out a message, hoping that it was only Jaida, Nicky and Gigi who were online.
backpack backpack: haha yeah so um
backpack backpack: that was me & rock actually
Even though no one could see her, Jan hid her face behind her hands, bracing for the worst. Several dings!  had come from her phone as soon as she sent the message. Of course it wasn’t only Jaida, Nicky and Gigi who were online.
cox destroyers: Oh my god.
Jan’s eyes widened when she saw Jackie reply, although she’s not quite sure why she was panicking about Jackie knowing about her hook up with Rock in the first place. All she knows is that she’s gonna have to face Jackie (and everyone else, for that matter,) later.
sin city: ohhh bitch—
c’est bon: you and ROCK???
dom top: !!!
dom top: idk who Rock is but get it sister
backpack backpack: Thank you! Thank you, Heidi. It’s like you’re the only one who’s not acting weird right now.
c’est bon: lmao heidi
c’est bon: she’s jans roommate
human girl: Janice Elizabeth Sport.
von du for two: not this shit again i swear to god
tap water: Jan.
tap water: You know that I love you
tap water: BUT WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SLEEPING WITH YOUR ROOMMATES
Jan rolled her eyes at the messages, wanting the ‘news’ to be over as soon as possible. “And they say I’m the dramatic one.” She huffed as she quickly typed on her phone again.
backpack backpack: okay can y’all chill 🙄
backpack backpack: we just got drunk and slept together, that’s all.
backpack backpack: tell shea im sorry though xxxx @jaidaessencehall
lebron essence ball: bitch you know it ain’t about having a drunk hookup with someone
lebron essence ball: its about the fact that you banged your roommate AGAIN
backpack backpack: oh COME ON
backpack backpack: this was just the second time!!
backpack backpack: and lemon’s with priyanka now!!!
von du for two: girl you & lemon were fucking almost every week i can’t with u
von du for two: going at it like rabbits while we were outside your apartment getting ready to watch glee :/
tap water: and, frankly, i don’t want to come up to your apartment to run lines with you if i have to hear y’all fooling around. my good, christian ears have heard enough.
She felt her face heat up in embarrassment.
backpack backpack: oh my god can you guys please shut up!!!!
backpack backpack: it’s not gonna happen again bc it was a one time thing
backpack backpack: i promise
human girl: [dwayne the rock johnson voice] are you sure about that?
backpack backpack: yes georgina goode i am 100% sure
Jan bit her lip as she looked up at the door to her room. Okay, she’s not 100% sure, but not because she regretted it or anything. As much as her brain was allowing her to remember, last night was good. Great, even. But between auditions, college, and working in the café, her love life (or lack thereof) is on pause for now. Besides, it’s not like anyone has been actively pursuing her, or vice versa.
But it wouldn’t hurt to ask Rock, right?
Sighing in defeat, Jan quickly got up from her bed with her phone still in her hand (as much as her hangover allowed her), left her room and knocked on her roommates door, hoping that she wasn’t busy. She heard a faint “come in!” from the other side and opened the door softly.
“Hey, roomie.” She joked.
Rock looked up from her drawing tablet and slipped off the headphones from her ears. “Glad to see you’re finally awake, and here I thought you were a morning person.” Rock’s room was a mess of color and paraphernalia; while Jan’s was strictly purple, pop culture, and musical theater, hers was an array of figurines and albums on the shelves, kpop & anime posters tacked on the wall behind her bed reaching up to the ceiling, and a somewhat decent gaming setup in the corner of her room. Crystal and Nicky would be proud.
Jan rolled her eyes, “Yeah, well, last night was something,” She slightly cleared her throat at the mention of last night. “Also, about last night…”
Rock raised her brow, “Go on?”
“It was a one time thing, right?” Jan furrowed her brows in question, “I mean, last night was amazing , as much my brain is allowing me to remember. And you’re hot, so, I’m not complaining. Really dig the anime e-girl vibe, and I’m sure anyone would tap that ass! I mean, I did, but I’m just—”
“—Not looking for anything right now?” Rock cut her off, saving Jan from turning into a hungover, rambling mess.
She let out a sigh of relief, sitting on her roommates bed and putting her phone down, “Yeah, doll. Just been really busy right now, y’know? 3rd year isn’t a joke.”
The pink-haired girl let out a snort, “Oh, I know the feeling. And don’t worry, I wasn’t looking for anything either, and while last night was fun,” She looked at her pointedly, and Jan was calm enough to actually smirk at the incident between the two, “I’d much rather have you as my friend than as my fuck buddy, because you are loud , girl!”
Jan shrieked at that, “Oh my god, shut up!” She threw a pillow at Rock’s head while the girl let out a cackle, “My friends were on my ass about that too, some friends they are.”
“Wait, you told your friends about that? Aren’t you friends with Nicky?”
Jan huffed, “Mama, more like I was forced to tell them. Jaida’s friend, Shea—whose apartment is next to ours, by the way—was complaining to her about how she couldn’t sleep last night because of, um, my tendency to be vocal.”
“You’re welcome, by the way.”
“Rotted bitch!” Jan threw another pillow at Rock, this time missing because the girl was doubled over in laughter, “I can’t believe you! The disrespect, really. I shouldn’t be taking this from you, I still have a shift to do at 3.”
“But you took it from me real good last night, so,” this time Rock shielded her face as Jan threw pillow after pillow at her, trying to speak through her laughter, “Okay, okay! I give, I give! I’m sorry, mom!”
“Bitch! I can be a top if I want to!” Jan exclaimed in mock offense. As their laughter subsided, the blonde suddenly had an idea, “Oh! What if I invite you over for dinner?”
Rock smirked, “One: we’re roommates. It’s not really inviting me to dinner if we eat in the same room. And two: I thought you said you weren’t looking for anything?”
“I mean dinner with my friends, gorg. All 11 of us eat together at least once a week, this time we’re gonna crash at Heidi, Jaida and Brita’s. Maybe you wanna come and meet them? I know you and Nicky know each other somehow, so it wouldn’t be too awkward, right?”
“Introducing me to the family already? Ain’t that a bit too early for you, Ms. Sport?”
“More like introducing you to a bunch of kindergartners,” Jan muttered as she checked her phone for any new notifications, “But yeah, I want them to know you as my roommate and friend , not as my roommate who I slept with.”
Bon Voy
dom top: okay so jans sex life aside
dom top: y’all are still coming over tonight?
sin city: yes girl!! college sucks ass sm i need to eat my feelings
c’est bon: wouldn’t miss it for the world mon ami xoxo
cox destroyer: I’m gonna be a little late! I just have to return and borrow some stuff in the library.
human girl: can we please order pizza hut <3
lebron essence hall: no <3
von du for two: we are going to order dominoes like civilized people
human girl: ugh fine, all of you have 0 taste
human girl: crys said yes btw she just has class right now
tap water: aiden said she’s gonna come too, she just can’t message the chat bc she’s still in her shift
Jan grinned at Brita’s message, finally getting the chance to steer the conversation away from her.
backpack backpack: So if she can’t message the chat because of her shift, why’s she messaging you, miss brittany filter?? 👀
Jan can feel Brita’s eye roll from miles away.
tap water: She speaks!
tap water: And don’t act like this conversation isn’t over, Miss Janice Sport. You have a lot of explaining to do.
“So, are ya gonna introduce me as your forbidden, but passionate lover? Whose romance was short-lived, yet wild, fiery and unforgettable?”
Now it was Jan’s turn to let out a cackle as she left Rock’s room, “More like my chaotic mess of a roommate who farted herself awake!”
This time it was Rock’s turn to gasp in offense, “That was one time and you fucking know it! And my answer is yes, by the way!”
Jan sent a message to the chat before grabbing her towel and putting her phone away to take a shower.
backpack backpack: oh btw i’m inviting rock to hang out with us!!! I promise she’s super fun and that we’re just roommates and see y’all soon please dont kill me or make it awkward with rock xxxx
tap water: are you
tap water: kidding me.
von du for two: oh for the love of GOD
***
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Note
hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.
[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]
okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.
our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.
we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.
anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.
so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.
now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.
- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.
- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).
- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.
- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.
- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.
- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her
- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.
- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction
- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.
- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.
- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time
- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.
- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.
- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.
- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read “what the hell have i done”
- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school
- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her
here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:
I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.
[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]
in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.
in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral
i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.
at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”
last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.
anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.
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