#idk.... it was good it felt right but now i am having a big mood swing tbh

[wongyuseokie]

Setting the Mood | c.s.c

Summary: After a gruelling day, you want to make your boyfriend feel better and care for him. You think you’re in charge, but that lasts only a little bit. 

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ♕ smut |  ♥ completed works Word Count:  1901 Words Pairings: Seungcheol x Female Reader Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: Smut & fluff Content Warnings: Smut, fluff, mentions of a bathtub and candles and flowers and blindfolds. Smut Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (don’t do this), pussy eating, swallowing, multiple orgasms, hand job in a bathtub. Swallowing, daddy kink, because it’s Seungcheol, duh, but very soft (mostly)daddy. Dirty talk and blindfolds, overuse of the nickname princess, baby, pretty girl and kitten. Muscle kink? Idk, man. Cheol is so fucking huge I want to cry. Facesitting. Cheol begs, squirting. 

Authors Note: Listen, this man knows how to rile me up, and so here I am. Thank you so so much to @the-boy-meets-evil for beta'ing this. I love you so much Jess 💕 Also, as always thank you to @here4btsfics for reading this too and letting me know your thoughts! Also to @seungkwansphd I hope this helps the Cheol rot or contributes to it hehehe. Tagging: @duhnova because ily and maybe I like being yelled at. Banner Credits: @classicscreations Cross Posted on AO3 © wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

“Baby?” Seungcheol called out once he got home. After a gruelling day of dance practice, he wanted to hop into the shower and then crawl into bed with you in his arms. 

“Hi, handsome,” you greeted, emerging from the bedroom and moving closer to him. His arms opened for you to settle in and hug him. 

“You tired?” You asked Seungcheol nodded slowly, and you smiled against his chest.

“Follow me, handsome,” you said, letting go of his embrace, taking his hand in yours, and guiding him to the bedroom. 

“What are you doing?” Seungcheol asked. You felt awful at the tone of his voice. He was so tired, and you knew he wanted nothing more than a quick shower and sleep, But you also knew your plan would make him so tired and feel so good that he’d sleep like a baby the entire night. 

“Helping you. You do so much work, and, for once, I want to make my daddy feel good,” you said softly, guiding Seungcheol into the bathroom. Seungcheol smiled softly at you and turned that smile into delight the minute he took in the bathroom. 

You lit vanilla and peony-scented candles around the bathtub, the tub overflowing with bubbles, and soft jazz music played in the background. 

“Baby, I’m tired, I appreciate this, but I don’t think I have it in me to do a lot,” Seungcheol started to say. 

“Daddy, tonight is about you. Let me do the work, please. I want to make you feel good,” you said softly, your hands moving to the hem of his shirt and pulling it off his toned body. 

“They need to close the gyms. You’re so fucking big now, Cheolie,” you whispered, tracing your hands over him, gently grazing your nails down his well-defined pecs, slightly brushing over his nipples, and then resting your hands on his now rock-solid abs. 

“But are you complaining, princess? I know you like it when I pick you up and fuck you against the wall,” Seungcheol teased, making you smile shyly.

“No, I don’t,” you said, smirking, your hands moving down to his grey sweats. 

“These, however, are illegal, you’re killing me, and I’m sure your fans are writhing watching you in this fit,” you mused, making Seungcheol smirk, 

“But only you can see it. Only you can touch,,” Seungcheol whispered low, making your core clench. “Only you can suck, can fuck…”

“No underwear?” You asked. You wondered when your hands went underneath his sweats and rubbed the tip of his cock, which was starting to harden, instead of another layer of material. Seungcheol shrugged in response. 

“Again, are you complaining?” Seungcheol responded cockily.

“No, I’m not,” you responded, smiling, kneeling and pulling down his sweats. Seungcheol stepped out of the sweats and kicked them across the bathroom floor.

“Where do you want me, princess?” Seungcheol asked. You stood up and pointed to the bathtub. Seungcheol nodded, sighing softly in relief as the warm water immediately soothed his sore muscles, 

“Fuck, this bath feels amazing,” Seungcheol moaned.

“Princess, can you join me?” He was looking at you with all the love possible in his eyes, and you immediately melted, nodding. You pulled your robe off, and Seungcheol groaned. 

“Fuck, you were naked underneath that stupid silk this all this time?” 

You just grinned in response. Seungcheol held out his hand, and you took it once you approached the tub to step into it. You climbed into his lap, and Seungcheol smiled, his hands encircling your waist, pulling you closer to his taut body. 

“Daddy, this is about you, not me,” you pouted, making Seungcheol smirk. 

“Okay, kitten, make me feel good,” Seungcheol said, laying back against the tub. 

You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his plush ones. You melted into the kiss. Kissing Seungcheol was almost addictive. You couldn’t get over how soft his lips were, how plump they were, and how you would always end up seeing fireworks no matter where his lips were on your body. Seungcheol moaned into the kiss the minute your hand grazed his now fully erect cock. The moan allowed you to slip your tongue into his mouth and deepen the kiss. 

You kept kissing Seungcheol, the one hand on his chest casually brushing over his nipples, which made him shudder and buck his length against your core. 

“Baby,” Seungcheol pulled away from your lips to catch his breath and admire you. You moved your lips down to his neck, carefully pressing enough pressure to elicit a moan from him, but not so strong that it would leave a mark. 

“Do you like it?” You asked Seungcheol, who lazily nodded, smiling at you, lust overtaking his handsome features. “Touch me, please,” Seungcheol begged, and it shot straight to your cunt, making you smirk. It gave you all sorts of ideas about making this man, usually in control, beg. He must have read your mind because he quickly added a warning. “Let’s get this straight. This is the only time I’ll beg, pretty girl.” 

 “Well, now you at least know how I feel,” you teased after a roll of your eyes. 

“Fuck,” Seungcheol breathed out when your hand wrapped around his thick cock. You didn’t move your hand, though, like you knew he wanted. You just wrapped it around the tip and ran your finger along his slit, the water allowing you to do that very quickly.

“I love you,” you said as you moved your other hand under the water to cup and massage his balls, making him tighten his grip on the porcelain tub. 

“I fucking love you, and I’m not just saying this because you’re making me feel so fucking good, princess,” Seungcheol said, breathing heavily, and whined when you pulled your hands off his cock. 

“Baby!” Seungcheol whined, making you laugh.

“Now you know how it feels, but I won’t torture you since I’m nice. Can you get out of the tub?” You asked, and Seungcheol nodded immediately.

You held Seungcheol’s hand, guiding him out of the tub and back to the bedroom. 

You gently nudged him making him fall back on the bed, and crawled up, so your body was straddling his. You reached over to grab the silk blindfolds on the bedside table and gently placed them over your boyfriend’s eyes, which was almost torture for you because his eyes were so piercing. Still, you knew if you wanted to regain control over him, he couldn’t be staring at you, undoing you with a single look. 

“Fuck, Cheol!” You gasped when Seungcheol’s hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you up to his mouth. You hissed in pleasure the minute his plush lips wrapped around your clit, and you hated how well he knew your body that he didn’t even need to see anything to make you fall apart.

“Cheolie, baby,” you mewled as he flicked your clit with his tongue. For the perfect contrast, his mouth enclosed your clit and sucked. You pulled the blindfold off his eyes because you loved watching him, especially sitting on his face. You loved seeing those eyes of his watch you fall apart at his mercy. 

You sighed in pleasure one more time before reluctantly pulling your pussy off his mouth. You moved down his body, capturing his lips with yours in a soft kiss sighing softly when you tasted yourself.

“Can I ride you, baby?” You asked, and Seungcheol nodded, making you smile. You slowly moved down his body until you straddled his thick thighs. Lifting your hips, you aligned his thick cock against your entrance and hissed as you sank into his length. 

“Princess, this is better when I prep you and get your pretty little pussy soaking fucking wet before I fuck you senseless,” Seungcheol said, smirking, earning a glare from you. 

“This is about you,” you said, pouting and Seungcheol softened, nodding. “Then take me, princess,” Seungcheol said, lying down, sighing the minute you lifted your hips and started to find a rhythm and a perfect position. At this angle, his thick length would hit all the spots inside you that made you clench tightly around his cock. However, Seungcheol was not one for giving up control in the bedroom, and not that you minded, but his need to be in control slowly kicked in. 

“Ah, shit!” you gasped as Seungcheol started to rub your clit furiously. He got off on making you fall apart for him, and at this moment, he was convinced he was about to cum inside you any second, the way you were tightening around his cock. He would be damned if he came before you did. Your pleasure came above all for him, no matter how dominant he was. 

“Baby, hold on,” Seungcheol said before carefully flipping the position so that you were now underneath him. 

“Fucking hell,” you wailed out in pleasure as Seungcheol finally found a position that allowed him to pound into you. His thrusts were hard, relentless and purposeful. Each thrust pushed you closer and closer to your orgasm. 

“Don’t. You’re going to cum again. I don’t care how many times that is, but I won’t stop fucking you until I cum, let the neighbours hear how good I fuck my baby,” Seungcheol spoke, his voice low and husky and gently biting your earlobe before continuing to fuck you hard. You were sure his back was now covered in scratch marks, and you felt your eyes roll back in pleasure. You knew he was trying to make you squirt. He loved it. He loved knowing he was the only one who could make you feel so good. 

“Fucking hell, I’m close, princess,” Seungcheol breathed out. As his thrusts got sloppier, he suddenly pulled out and gave a quick instruction, “on your knees, princess.” 

You shakily got on your knees and opened your mouth, allowing Seungcheol to position his cock against your open mouth.  He stroked himself a few times before he released it in your mouth, groaning and hissing as he came. Seungcheol pulled his cock out of your mouth, but not before you licked his tip, making him whine in overstimulation, earning a playful glare. He pulled you back to your feet and lightly pushed you onto the bed.

“Ah, Cheol!” you screamed as he plunged two fingers into you and thrust them in and out of your cunt, furiously until you were screaming. All you could do was hold his forearm for support as you came, squirting over his fingers and the sheets. You felt lightheaded and smiled softly when you felt yourself being pulled into Seungcheol’s chest, his strong arms wrapping around you. 

“Fuck, this was meant to be about you, baby,” you said, and Seungcheol could feel your pout on his chest. 

“Princess, look at me,” Seungcheol said softly, and you looked up at him. 

“You did fucking amazing, the bath was amazing, and you trying to be in control was adorable too, but you made me feel good,” Seungcheol said genuinely, making you smile. 

“You tired me out enough, and I know I’ll sleep peacefully,” Seungcheol joked. 

“Wait, Cheol! We need to change the sheets!” You exclaimed, jolting up only to be dragged back into Seungcheol’s arms. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept on sheets soaked with your cum. We can deal with it tomorrow. I need you in my arms to sleep.” 

#seventeen #scoups #choi seungcheol #svthub #kvanity #thekpopuniverse #seungcheol #seungcheol fanfic #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #scoups smut #seungcheol smut #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x y/n #seungcheol x you #scoups x y/n #scoups x you #scoups fanfic #scoups x reader #indigo writes: scoups #setting the mood: c.s.c

[wonjnz]

drunk on (the thought of loving) you

₊˚⊹ summary: five years of loving hanbin can be told within taking five shots.

₊˚⊹ genre: angst (idk if this is even sad at all.. VV SLICE OF LIFE), best friend!hanbin, collegel!au | wc: 2.2k

₊˚⊹ warning(s): swearing, mentions of drinking | inspo: that’s what you get - paramore

₊˚⊹ a/n: idk this was kinda scrapped last month .. i’ll just post this bc i wanna keep this acc alive!!!

i. the first shot

you vividly remember watching hanbin crying in the driver’s seat.

you were the first person he called right after he got dumped by his now ex-girlfriend; and all you could do was watch and offer him a few tissues from the passenger’s side, occasionally offering a “she wasn’t all that, anyway.” whenever hanbin would rant about how much he wasted his love on her just to get ghosted.

“i don’t know anymore, y/n. am i that dumb to not notice she isn’t into me?” he asks despite his throat dry from crying, looking at you.

and that’s when you had that damn cheesy realization the moment you looked at hanbin again — the realization where you’ve stupidly fallen for your long-time best friend and that stupid, high school love you’ve been trying to avoid for all these years slowly dawns on you now despite both of you in college.

you shrug your feelings off for the meantime, “of course not. plus, you deserve someone way better.” you assure him.

the moment you arrive home, you’ve had the whole night to confirm that you were, in fact, helplessly in love with sung hanbin.

you don’t even know how it started — maybe it was during the one time he tiredly slept on your shoulder while on the way home from a field trip, or the way he’d always invite and mention you everywhere and anytime he could to the point even his friends thought you were together, and you don’t even dare try to remember how he said “i’ll love you whenever nobody is there to do it.” that one night during your nightly calls.

and as if that wasn’t already a big wave enough, zhang hao’s reaction to it felt like a tsunami.

“say you’re kidding right now.” zhang hao says in disbelief at your confession the next day, putting his drink down to focus solely on you. “you, liking your — our best friend since middle school, right after his ass got dumped?”

you frown and shrug as a reply, “i don’t know, everything just clicked that time. i think that’s like three years worth of having to interpret his mixed signals towards me.”

zhang hao sighs at your confused state, taking a sip from his coffee before speaking up, “so you’ve liked him for at least three years now?”

slowly nodding, you put your head in your hands. “god, i’m such a fucking dumbass, hao.” you say exasperatedly as you dread the day you’d grow tired and finally confess to hanbin,

“you think you’ll try talking to him about it soon?”

“i don’t think i’ll ever have the guts to tell him, hao.” you say defeatedly, looking down at your phone to see that hanbin sent another really long rant about his ex. “not when he’s still fresh out of a relationship, that’s for sure.”

“i’m just scared that once i confess, i’ll ruin everything. i’ll ruin us.”

you felt helpless, hopeless even, just the mere thought of seeing hanbin’s pitiful reaction at your confession is enough to make you pass out in the bustling cafe you were in. what more when he’ll start distancing himself days after? you were terrified.

zhang hao waves your fear off nonchalantly, “you’ll never know. what if you’re in some kind of drama and this could be your chance?” he tries to lighten the mood, smiling victoriously when you raise your eyebrows at him.

“don’t feed into my delusions hao,” you roll your eyes at him. “i'll just tell him once i'm over from this whole dumb ‘liking your best friend’ thing.”

“by the looks of it, i don't think that's happening anytime soon.”

you scoff and playfully hit zhang hao’s shoulder, receiving a small scowl from him, “but you gotta admit, we make a good pair,”

“he just doesn't love me that way.”

ii. the second shot

sometimes you wish you weren’t too adamant on hanbin drinking his heartbreak out, especially now that you’re left with a drunk-out-of-his-mind hanbin in your apartment. (you mentally curse zhang hao for leaving earlier than expected.)

the night started off with the three of you making a toast to hanbin moving on, which then evolved into a mini ranting session about going into college life, then a sudden karaoke break, zhang hao leaving after, and now this.

you’re both slouched on the dining table, arms serving as your only pillow because for some reason you can’t walk over to your sofa, and with no knowledge of time as you ramble on about the most random topics you could think of.

hanbin hums amusingly, “y’know, even if you say nobody is there to love you, i’m always here as your best friend.” his words slurred and groggy. and even with the amount of alcohol in your system numbing your senses, you still felt that little sting in your heart, you only laugh as a reply.

“so you'll only ever see me as a friend?”

you hear him hum lowly, “of course, what else would i think of you as?”

right, of course.

“not even more than a friend?” you, or the alcohol in your system, ask again. hanbin slowly hums again, the sound softening until you're met with nothing but the sound of the bustling city outside your apartment.

a few minutes passed by and you finally gain the strength to at least sit up, the sight of hanbin sleeping coming in full view — his slight pout, light breathing with a few snores here and there, and ruffled hair was honestly a sight you wished you could look at forever. but you swear the longer you stared at him, that god-awful feeling of regret starts to feel even stronger than before.

but that night, you fell in love with sung hanbin for a second time.

iii. the third shot

“you know, we started talking again.” hanbin shares through the phone, going silent as he expects some reaction. no way.

you shift in your seat, “seriously? didn’t you say you officially moved on like what, two years ago?” hanbin smiles sheepishly to himself before saying, “she messaged me last night, so i replied. we talked the whole time i barely slept.”

“we’ll hang out a bit after this actually! you wanna join us?” he offers innocently, your heart receiving a jab this time when you noticed how excited his voice seemed just at the mere thought of seeing her, you knew hanbin well enough to know he was madly in love yet again.

you stay silent for a few minutes before speaking up, “you guys have fun, i don’t wanna be the third-wheel between you two.” hanbin mumbles a small ‘awe,’ before eventually ending the call to get ready.

next thing you know, you’re on facetime with zhang hao bawling your eyes out about what just happened. “see i told you, he’s still hung up on her.” he says while walking around his apartment.

genuinely speaking you don’t know what’s worse, the harsh truth zhang hao was telling or the way you could barely hear his voice due to the amount of muffling and moving he’s doing.

“did you see the way he’s talking about her? he’s literally the most obvious man alive.”

“you’re really not helping me here hao.”

“right, sorry.” zhang hao immediately shuts up, humming a bit before speaking up again. “i know it’s not easy, but at least try to move on from him, y’know?” he says, his voice filled with sympathy at your state.

before you could speak up zhang hao continues on, “it’s not possible, i know, or — i don’t know, just tell him so you can get that burden off, i’m sure he’ll understand anyway.”

you groan at the thought of confessing, “are those really my only choices?”

“unless you wanna live with getting hurt over and over again, yeah.” zhang hao shrugs.

you sigh at his advice, he was right after all, but every time you remember your friendship is at stake; you back out at the last minute. “i’ve been handling this for two years, hao, don’t you think i can handle two more?” zhang hao chuckles almost pitifully.

“of course not, you’ve been handling this whole hanbin thing for, correction, five years too long. you've genuinely gone batshit crazy.”

“honestly hao fuck you because was the last part really that necessary?”

iv. the fourth shot

god, you’re tired of hanbin’s constant compliments about her; how she’s the best person in the world, how she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, how she’s so special and dear to him. almost every conversation you’ve had would always go back to something related about her, even if it meant the most absurd topics only you three would know. the topic could be about how zhang hao got lost in the middle of a forest and hanbin would still tie it back to her.

hell, he even mentions her even while drinking.

but you’ve handled it for five years now, so what’s the difference?

the three of you were celebrating your graduation in zhang hao’s apartment, the bouquet from your parents laying on the sofa while your togas were thrown across the room while zhang hao’s coffee table was filled with a bunch of soju and shot glasses you bought from a nearby convenience store.

“thank god we’re finally graduates, i can finally escape from all those girls taking candid pictures of me.” zhanghao sighs in relief the moment he starts downing his first drink of the night, pouring more.

“you sure? i already saw new fansites of you online, they’ll never leave you alone at this rate.” hanbin retorts, you chuckle at zhang hao's horror as he's frantically checking his twitter to see pictures of him at his graduation.

the night, cliché enough, felt like a dream. the three of you basking in the temporary freedom of adulthood before you start looking for work.

as it went on, you missed the days where you could look at hanbin without noticing the stars in his eyes, the days where you could still speak full coherent sentences whenever his attention is fully on you, and zhang hao noticed.

“it's just hard to say no to someone you really loved,” you hear hanbin say, zhang hao had brought up his ex (to your absolute horror and zhang hao's drunkenness) and you've been quiet the whole conversation.

“especially with her, it felt like i had no more to give but the moment we talked — there was still something left.”

you chuckle, not at him, but the way his words hit how you feel with hanbin right in the center. and yet you just can't refuse to give hanbin the little love you have left even when he's freely giving his own to someone else.

you take another shot to drown your feelings out more, “so you just can't say no, right?” you ask, seeing if he feels the same way.

hanbin smiles at you before nodding, placing his shot glass down to lean back on his chair. “yeah. you really can't.” he answers, confirming that you were both experiencing the same form of love. but painfully enough, just not towards each other.

god, was the truth so anticlimactic for you.

the way hanbin talks about her with the same lovestruck eyes whenever you talk about him to zhang hao, how you notice the little things in hanbin the way he also notices the little things in her — you knew it from the start.

but to see it slapped to your face despite knowing how it'll end, just felt like reality slowly kicking in the more drinks you take.

and now, under zhang hao's dim apartment lights, you realized that the truth that sung hanbin will never see you as more than his most cherished best friend since middle school, really does hurt.

you swear you were just drinking your first shot, but when you woke up to find yourself on zhang hao's bed; a loud snore coming from the living room and—

v. the fifth shot

“you awake?”

shit.

quickly turning to hanbin's figure by the bedroom door despite the pounding headache, you slowly nod. “just woke up actually.”

as you slowly look at hanbin by the bedroom door, you immediately remember the day you realized your feelings for him — his face puffy from crying yet still so pretty under that orange sunset glow, his hands that’d usually tap on the steering wheel when he was starting to calm down again, and the way his shirt was so wrinkled in one specific area from all the bunching.

it felt almost too poetic to have that sort of realization under the sunset in his car, almost as if you’re bidding goodbye to the days you used to look at him as just your best friend.

so you, or the remaining alcohol in your system figured, rather, that you make use of the sunrise to finally welcome the harsh truth of confessing to him.

and you did.

“i love you.”

you’re met with nothing but silence, looking down to save yourself from bawling your eyes out in front of him.

“i’ve loved you for five years, hanbin. five fucking grueling years.” you manage to croak out, not noticing the way hanbin slowly makes his way towards you, nor the way his eyes significantly soften when he sees zhang hao’s sheets slowly staining from your tears.

a few minutes pass without much happening, the room only filled with the sounds of your sniffling.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” hanbin whispers, eventually embracing you to at least bring some comfort. but to his dismay, his actions just made you cry even harder; not because you just got rejected, but because of how soft his voice and embrace was it felt like he was pitying you.

in his defense, who wouldn’t? you loved him for so long, despite knowing he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend and regardless will still see you as his most precious best friend. all he could do at the moment was continuously say ‘i’m sorry’ whenever you cling onto his shirt tighter as support.

as you continue to cry in his embrace, you realized that under the sunset, you were there to comfort hanbin. but as you’re both waiting for the sunrise, you figured he’ll never be the one there for you like he promised.

#zb1 drabbles #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 imagines #sung hanbin #sung hanbin x reader #hanbin #hanbin x reader

[bbgliker-teehee]

This might sound like an unpopular opinion of mine but... Is it just me or is Fizzarolli becoming an annoying character to me now. Like before season 2, I used to like him and I found the conflict between Blitzo and him really interesting and I wanted to learn more about it despite me not liking the show at the time (I mean I still do, but you know what I mean)

But when season 2 came along, I was left with a sour mouth when it comes to Fizz, and his conflict with Blitzo. Fizzarolli became from what season 1 gave us, he gained the most success and he felt proud of it, didn't care of the others feelings when insulting them, and was basically an asshole that rubs the success and Blitzos face and was the first one to genuinely get on Blitzos nerves (even have implications of Blitzo being jealous towards Fizz because he hoggled the spotlight more than him) but when season 2 came along, he just now resorted to being a huge scared puppy that shakes in his boots when someone insults him/threatens him. Like what happened to season 1 Fizz? What happened to the overly cocky and sassy asshole of a gremlin he was, can we bring that one and Season 1 Asmodeus back please?

And his conflict with blitzo and how it was executed, OH BOY. He gave him the most guilt-tripping ass apology, downplayed his disability just because HE REALLY MISSES MOM SO MUUCH, FEEL BAD FOR HIM HE'S JUST A MISUNDERSTOOD LIL BABY DEMON, like fuck off man. That episode didn't make me feel bad for the guy, it made me hate him even more.

And when in the end when they reconciled and shit, I was over here asking "Why bother building this rivalry up, when you're jist make them reconcile faster than the flash himself then?" Like, they should've just enemies imho, because that was more interesting than them being friends again.

I'm suprised that noone even brought this up too, but... This one piece of dialogue of Mammons shitty special I had to restrain myself from yelling at my screen. My god did I wanted to choke him to death when he says this:

OKAAAY, so not only did Blitzo give a guilt-tripping ass apology ever and they became friends again because of that shitty apology, instead of him comforting Fizz in this very moment, he resorts to saying THIS to Fizz when it's clearly shown that Fizz does not feel okay right now and looked he needed some comforting, and then Blitzo going back to square one and bullying someone when they're not feeling in the mood for it. Yeah good friend Blitzo, am i right? Fuck you Blitzo, genuinely like go die in a hole along with Loona & Stolas....

I'll probably be the only to say that BlitzFizz sucks, not a big fan of it because it felt like they just made Blitzo have a crush on Fizz to make him more sympathetic, yet they should've made them more like brotherly type of dynamic, to me that is idk about you.

Sorry for this essay like ask btw, just really wanted to get this out of my chest somehow. God watching these characters exist is hard man...

SAMMMEEEEE like- I think Fizz was a cool character, but since we can't have anything nice...Viv made him 'baby uwu'...

And Blitz whole ass apology was literally:

"Hey, I know you lost your legs and arms and you got all deformed and shit...BUT MY MOMMY DIED SO PWEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And yeah...I want my super swag sigma Ozzie who gets bitches back...not this loser beta dripless Ozzie that gets 0 bitches....

#answered #vivzipop critical #anti vivziepop fandom #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critical

[ghulehthezombiequeen]

little sunshine. - Angeleyes

cardinal copia x sister of sin!reader part 3.

masterlist. / little sunshine masterlist.

tag list: @gothicwonderlust, @siouxbauhaus

a/n: i finally added a masterlist so yippee that's cool also if u want to be added to the taglist lmk and i'll gladly add u :D

warnings/things to note: female reader, potentially autistic Copia (it just comes naturally i'm sorry), secret relationships, possibly suggestive undertones?? idk bro i just write

enjoy <3

word count: 1,517 words.

A few weeks had passed since your first date with Copia. Not much has happened since then, which was fine with you. However, the fact that you were no longer watching the little ones made you a bit lonely in the ministry library. There were a few perks to working in the library, though. A couple groups of Siblings would normally come in every so often to gossip about any and everything, which you didn't mind overhearing. And they were glad to share with you! You were so likeable by everyone, so kind and generous, so witty and hilarious.

When they finally had to leave for their classes, you decided to pop a random record into the player. What type of records did the ghouls like to collect? You decided to investigate that later as you settled on an ABBA collector's edition vinyl. You studied the sleeve before pulling out the disk, noticing that it'd been played multiple times before.

You were organizing a shelf of books near the corner where your desk was, humming along to the song Angeleyes. You were so focused on your task that you didn't hear the door open, nor the footsteps approaching you.

"Ah, A-Angeleyes, huh? I... Personally, I love that song."

You knew that stutter from anywhere.

You turned around and smiled widely as your eyes were greeted by Copia. Instantly your mood boosted by at least 50 percent. "Oh! Hi, Cardi! What brings you here?" You chirped happily, now trying to multitask talking to him and sorting the books.

"Oh, uh... S-Sister, I just wanted to say that I- I....... I don't know. I just wanted to say hello..." he chuckled nervously at himself. "I'm not very good at this."

Oh, he was trying to flirt with you! Copia was never the best at it before, but now after the night in the gardens with you, every time he got a glance at you made his heart skip a beat. "I... erm... I want you to know that I missed you, a-and, um... I am so happy right now."

Was he... shy? That's adorable.

"Aw, you're so sweet, Cardi! You have a big heart, y'know?" you tittered at his shyness, watching his body language. Wait... was he hiding something behind his back? Odd.

"Whatcha hiding over there?" You asked in a sing-song voice, pretending to peek at what he was hiding behind his back.

Copia's face turned pink as you brought yourself closer to him. "I... w-well, uh... erm... oh, what the hell. Here, for you..." He revealed a white rose, holding it out for you to take. "It's my favorite flower... a-and I wanted to give it to my beautiful girl," he said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

Your heart started to melt right then and there. How did Copia know your love language was receiving gifts? You felt even more special when he said that white roses were his favorite, and he was giving one to you! You gasped, taking the rose stem delicately in your fingers. "Oh, you didn't! You're so kind!"

Why did this gift feel different? Other guys have given you the same exact thing sometimes, but this felt more important than those gifts. Were you genuinely catching feelings for this silly rat man? This caused you to blush.

Copia chuckled a bit. "Oh, I did... because you deserve it. You're the sweetest girl I know, and you deserve a gift."

He looked into your eyes and smiled. "Ah, it's just a rose from the gardens, it's not the most valuable thing. But it's a part of me that I want to give you and keep forever... j-just like you." He swallowed after he spoke, mentally cursing himself for stuttering towards the end. Satanas below, why did it have to be so difficult to talk to you?!

You hummed in contentment, placing a gentle hand to his cheek. "If you get any sweeter, I might have to go to a dentist and get checked for cavities!" you teased, moving your hand to press a light kiss on his cheek.

"Ohhh, Sorella..." he mumbled something in Italian that you couldn't quite hear well, but you saw him fiddling with his thumbs. You made him flustered. Cute!

"Well, now I have to get you something, so it's fair!" you pouted as you stared at the white rose in your hand, admiring its beauty.

"E-Eh?! N-No, no, no! Per favore, n-no need to get me anything! Just seeing the smile on your face is all I need." he said quickly, feeling terrible at the thought of you cutting your precious time out to get him something in exchange for a rose.

You felt a little bad but decided to let it go for the time being. "Alright, then..."

"I-If anything, I'm not good enough for you, Sister... the rose should have been good enough." he mumbled quietly, thinking that he didn't deserve her; he'll always try his best for sure, but you... you were perfection.

That put a cheeky smile on your face, and you let out a small giggle. "Oh, I'm gonna put this on my desk, I'll be right back." You turned on your heel and walked to your desk, moving a stack of papers so that your vase with the single white rose sparkled in the sunlight.

Copia watched you, resisting the urge to reach out and pull you back to him, to hold you in his arms. He felt his heart beating so hard against his chest he thought it may explode. He wanted to lean in and kiss your perfect, pouty lips just like that night in the garden.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he spoke out loud accidentally, "...Why are you so perfect?"

"Mm, I dunno. I just am." you shrugged, a playful smirk on your face. It was cute that he didn't even notice he'd said those words out loud until your reply, which made him bury his face in his hands and coaxing a chuckle out of you.

He let out a flustered grumble. "Y-You know I think you're more than perfect. I- I can't find the right word for it yet, but... y-you're like an infernal goddess. I can't help but admire you. Satanas, you're truly a gift from below, I swear to it."

You tilted your head, so it rested on your own shoulder, smirking at him and pulling him into an embrace. You also took this opportunity to stare into those beautiful, mismatched eyes of his. "You fell madly in love with me already, huh Cardi?" you giggled as he started to snake his hands around your waist, pulling you in just a bit closer.

"Ehh... maybe just a little." he chuckled, lifting his hand to show you the little space in between his thumb and index finger.

You raised an eyebrow at that.

He widened the space the more you stared. "...Maybe just a little more than a little?" he chuckled sheepishly.

You kept your eyebrow raised.

"Ah! Okay, fine! Maybe a lot. Maybe- Maybe you should- uh... something. I... I forgot."

You both laughed at this, pulling each other closer.

"We're supposed to be keeping us a secret, y'know..." you reminded, smiling at him. He grinned innocently, pulling away slowly and looking around to make sure no one was watching the two of you.

"Okay, okay, you caught me. I love you tons, contento? But you are right, this isn't the best idea to do this in public. But... if it were under the circumstances of it being 'just us'... would I get a hug? M-Maybe even a kiss?"

"Hmm..." You pretended to think, just to spite him. Of course, you already knew the answer. "Under the circumstances of it being just us... whatever would we do?" "Oh, I know! What about... your room, 8pm tonight. I'll bring a bag and stay over?" you asked in a mischievous tone, your smirk still evident on your face.

Copia's face flushed a bright crimson at what you were implying. Did you want to-- with him?!?! Was he even that lucky?! Copia's mouth hung open for a second before sputtering a response. "Wha- I- you- me- we- uhh... erm... I- yes! Okay! Okie dokie... good, good...."

You laughed at his adorable reaction, pulling away from him to go back to work. "Y'know, the Siblings were talking about you earlier. They said you keep pet rats. Some couldn't believe it. But it got me thinking, and I want to see for myself if the rumor is true!"

"I- wha? Oh! Yes, o-of course!" he cleared his throat (and his thoughts), nodding. "W-Well, um... I guess I'll see you tonight then, Sister." He tried playing it cool, but everyone could tell how excited and nervous he was to see you tonight. You! Tonight! In his room! His mind was racing a mile a second as he spun around and scurried away to his room, resisting the urge to kiss you goodbye.

As for the rumor, well. That was true.

~~~ previous chapter. | next chapter.

#the band ghost #fluff #ghost #ghost band #ghost bc #ghost the band #copia #cardinal copia #cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia x sister of sin #cardinal copia x female reader #x reader #fem reader #female reader #reader insert #female reader insert #sister of sin #sister of sin reader #papa copia #copia x reader #ghost copia #copia my beloved #papa iv #papa emeritus iv #plushia #papa emeritus #papa emeritus 4 #papa emeritus iv x reader #ghostbc #band ghost

[mushangaa]

5 and 20 for the artist ask game! Hope your day is good!

5. What piece of art are you still proud of to this day? (Show or describe)

Easy. This one. "Listen" 2010/03

It is 13 years old, I was 19 when I drew it. That was the year I moved out of my childhood home and moved into my first flat. A lot of struggles were had that year. I was so young. I had a different name. I was a different person. And this image takes me back to being so young and unsure of myself and the world around me. There is so much of me in this picture, so much emotions I felt at that time and while it is not the most elaborate piece compared to what I can do these days it was very complicated to pull off for past me. Get the lines in the background just right to keep the flow and emotion I felt. My fingers were stained with graphite by the end of getting the lines down and it took ages to line them. I have often contemplated on doing a redraw of this one but deep down I know, even if I could do better I will never reach that feeling and emotional beat that went into the original; so I don't. I simply cherish this one as is and when I look at it I feel peace and a sense of accomplishment because like I said. I was a different person back then. I was so, so young but this young person turned out okay. This young person grew and stood up again and again and handled itself better with each punch life threw and eventually became me. This piece is like an emotional time capsule to me. However I am working on another piece currently, and while it is a rendition of a Gustav Klimt artwork "Judith II" the emotions currently going in this one already tell me it shall be added to the roster of all time favourites. The stage it is at currently already pleases me deeply. I am playing a bit more loose with my interpretation as the key elements that I really wanted to hit with this rendition is especially the hands. The hands of the original artwork just do something for me the way she holds them the way the fingers are curled like claws. Also the way the body is bend. I really wanted these elements in there the most. Also it is a good piece to pull forth my love for detailed little elements that I often use in backgrounds and can throw here in the dress and all that.

The characters in both pieces are mine by the way. In the first, that is Eve, from one of my older stories that experiences a bit of a hibernation as my focus shifted to newer projects. I have around 20 stories to bounce back and forth between and a lot of characters populating those so like... can't do all at the same time. For now I told myself to focus on two, one of those is The Unicorn Paradox of course. The other is "Raptamei" a found family type of deal but with pirates and the lady in the Judith II rendition is Ila (green peacock), she is part of that story.

20. What motivates/inspires you artistically? (topics, emotions, etc)

A lot of things. Music, Movement, Nature, People, Emotions. It depends on my mood and time of day and what is going on in my life in general. But like... it can be out of left field stuff like me zoning out at a river and the light hitting the surface right and suddenly I have an idea. I once chilled out at the bottom of a lake because it is very chill and quiet down there and muted and green and blue and the sun dances on the surface of the water and you know what water is kinda a big thing for me in general to let my mind wander and get inspired. Sometimes my mind just cooks things up when the music is just right. I heard a song recently - instrumental - that essentially wrote an entire scene for The Unicorn Paradox that has not existed prior and changed the direction of the story a bit in a way I have not thought of by then because I had an intense film reel popping off in my head in time to the beat of drums, dramatic violins and I think trumpets? Idk.

And of course emotions are a big thing. If I am not feeling it it ain't happening. Can I draw pretty stuff just because? Sure. But I myself can always tell if I drew something with feeling or just because even years later after the fact. I approach things different too for artwork I do for others depending on either how I feel about the person I draw for or how their works make me feel, and I think it shows`. To me it does at least. And in general, all my stories are tied to specific emotions and those bleed into the lines and colours. If I may refer back to the Unicorn Paradox - that story is born from grief but also hope and healing and it could've been entirely original (kind of) for sure but it popped up on a whim when I drew a cowboy and a sad horsegirl and I was like... you know what yeah. Yeah. Because in a difficult time of my life I became active in the fandom and it brought me relief and a sense of peace during even my off-days and then it kinda became "nah it has to be tmnt actually. it could be original but also not. Not really"

So mh yeah, lot of things do inspire me, sometimes the most random things that only make sense in my head on how they tapped a button in my brain but the biggest thing is Emotions. Music too but that invokes an emotional response so we go back to Emotion mainly. Thank you for asking <3 My day has been fabulous. I hope you had a lovely day as well Wren <3 Feel booped.

#mushanga speaks #mushanga answers #long post

[rianafying]

i’m having a really bad day emotionally. idk if it’s my period hormones or bpd but i’m just in a really sucky mood today. yesterday i recovered from one illness that i had since late jan. i’ve been desperately waiting to feel better and this morning i woke up with another kind of illness. and i’m doing my best to recover from this as well. and something triggered my abandonment response and im just having a really really hard time right now. and i can’t even freely talk about it to anyone or even write about it in my journal. i’m just. so sad right now. i’m not abandoned but i feel that way. i have been feeling abandoned for a while now and a small thing that happened last night really amped it up. then this morning i woke up with a crazy amount of physical pain and fever from said illness and im also severely dehydrated because i have been too upset to drink water so i’ve been forcing myself to drink lots of water all day. and had to take painkillers and sleep the fever off. all by myself. i hate being by myself. but it was worse when i was living with family back in bangladesh. somehow i felt even lonelier and more horrible there. lately i’ve had very little hope about myself and my future. i’m just going through a rough time mentally. so are my loved ones. i’m sobbing as i’m writing about this. this isn’t even bad. like it’s just my mental illness over reacting and my hormones possibly amplifying the negative emotions. but nothing terrible has actually happened it’s just that i wanted something and i can’t have it and even in my dreams, my desires plague me. it all sounds vague but that’s on purpose because i can’t openly talk about it. even when faced with much greater difficulty, i have handled things better but right now even though it’s not actually that bad, i feel exceptionally sad. i did my groceries. made the right decisions. i literally did my very fucking best today. and yet i feel nothing but awful awful awful. even some self hatred and self pity. i’m having a hard time trying to logic myself out of this one. maybe it just needs some time. the problem is that i don’t have all that much time to give. i have a class early tomorrow and it’s one of those classes that i really have to participate in and even though i normally look forward to this class, im dreading it right now. i dont have the energy to learn a whole bunch of things right now. and my friends invited me for drinks after classes, which is great but sucks because i literally have 5$ in my bank account to last me the whole week, and today was just monday. idk how this happened. actually i know exactly how this happened, i paid of my medical bills when i got paid this weekend. that’s why i have nothing left. but it’s a big relief. that i have paid off all my hospital debt. it’s a huge deal. and it’s done. now temporarily i’ll struggle a little but it’ll be okay soon. also it was just 11:11pm and i made a good wish. i’m going to try my best to bring it to fruition. rn im still a bit sick, and im not gonna beat myself up for having a bad couple of days. i know im doing my best. my best is not as good as other people’s but it’s mine. and i am choosing to go easy on myself. i’m feeling a fever coming back. the plan for the rest of the night is to maybe rest till my fever goes away. then watch the movies i downloaded w the library wifi, because guess what, i didn’t have money to get wifi this month. so i barely use my data and i try to download as much as i can at uni and at the library. it has been kind of good for me. to be off the internet mostly. this reminds me i should deactivate my instagram soon. idc if i loose my work flow. or maybe try to find balance between life offline and online. after i’m done resting and my fever subsides, ill boil some eggs and what not. i deserve to eat well. nvm im back to crying in my fetal position. oh god i feel so bad. i feel so bad right now. i can’t do anything about this. and the things that i can fix, i don’t. this is literally my life. crying about things i can’t control and ignoring the things i can control

this is the worst i have felt in 2024 so far. i’m so sad that it’s giving me a headache. i’m so disoriented and confused and tired and sad i don’t wanna do anything. i’m depressed as fuck. why does this happen to me. oh god i let a couple of hours pass, and i’m doing a little bit better. this is so stupid.

#personal #journal entry

[aoiveae-monsters]

big ol wip of Khonshu headcanons, there are going to be a lot of typos and things will probably change once I´m done. also not to confuse anyone, there are three diffrent readers in this fic. the normal reader, you good bread and butter. the other two are, witch reader(btw for those who don´t know, witch is a gender neutral word but maybe I´ll change it to priest reader idk yet) and ennead reader. Right now I´m still working on the witch reader.

now to the preview

Khonshu x Gender Neutral Reader

Normal reader!

You probably met Steven before Khonshu, when he was pulled in all that moon knight Business. However, while you could not see Khonshu yet, he very much could see you. At first he didn't think much of you but the more he watched you the more he grew interested in you.

So one night out of the blue, he appeared in front of you. He was expecting screaming but no-

You were calm, even facinated by the moon god in front of you. Of course that stroked his Ego and he took an immediat liking to you

Steven didn't know you met Khonshu until you two were hanging out, with Khonshu present, and you said hi to him.

Poor man was freaking out because he thought Khonshu would hurt you

He wouldn't

It would take a while but you two grew closer, night by night. With that the elder god was begining to be confused. He never felt this way to a mere mortal and honestly, it scared him a little

But now to the romance~

Khonshu would be the first to confess, in his own silly way

He first would come to you one night, on a full moon, and say how truly lucky you are for having gained the affection of an elder god. Going on a Monologe onto how blessed you were, which was quickly shut down when you said that you also like him

Birb man was so happy

At the begining in the relationship Khonshu would have trouble seeing you as his equal but after a while he would (with great difficulty) swallow his pride and see you as his other, equal half

He is still very new to this so please be patient and if you are you'll get a doting moon god!

Murder bird is so down bad for you.

Khonshu showers you in his love, whenever the moon shines, you feel his loving embrace

Every moring you wake up he makes you Breakfast

While you can't directly touch him, you can feel a little of his presence. Him holding you close, beak softly nudging your neck.

Khonshu is also exrtemly protective, the god is aware how fragile humans are, so he would not have you in any moon knight matters

He loves you dearly and could not bare to see you hurt

Khonshu hates it when others Flirt with you, he'll throw one of his trantums, effectifly scaring them away.

After that he will be a little grumpy, give him a few kisses and long words, that will lighten bis mood

you are not the only one being doted on. Give him kisses, hugs and loving words

He will croon when you tell him how much you love him or give his beak little kisses, like-

"Yes little human, I am great aren't I?"

When he was imprisioned in stone by Ennead, being away from you pained hin greatly. He despratly earned for your loving embrace.

When he and Ammit where freed, he fought his hardest, so that ammit and harrow could never harm you.

Once he returned, he immediatly took you in his arms.

Khonshu refused to leave you alone for weeks, the time he was away should have been nothing to him but being seperated from you was to much for him.

However you two are together once again and he will never leave you again

Witch Reader!

Working with deities is not uncommen for witches and you thought you'd give it shot as it might help you a lot with your practice.

Khonshu was one deity you were planning on working with

The night you started the Ritual was on a full moon, hoping that would help Khonshu hear you and he did. At first Khonshu was confused, he had not someone reach out to him in a long time and specialy Not in such a way either

After the Ritual was Khonshu decided to answer this little human's prayers, you however did not exspect him to appear directly in front you-

But then again you shouldn't be suprised, in a world of a himbo with a thunder hammer, a big green dude and a man that has been in ice for 80 years this is probably the most normal that happened in a while

Khonshu would tell you how much of a wise decision you made chosing him over other moon deities

He would help you with your witchcraft and give you Protection under the moons silber glow but in exchange he wants something in return.

Humans have started worshiping the old gods again and he wants a devoted little follower, a priest! Give him praise and offerings-

You just throw bird seeds at his face:/

At least that got him to shut up

He does bonk you with his Staff in return tho

#khonshu x reader #Khonshu #moon knight #wip #moon knight x reader #my writing

[flutteringfable]

horse girl (gender neutral) kaeya hcs bc i am also a horse girl (gender neutral)

oh yeah baybeeee time to be a horse nerd for the benefit of my fanfictionssss <3

kaeya isnt a huge favorite character of mine but as an equestrian myself i love thinking abt his own horse experiences lol. also soft-ish ragbros content because i desperately want them to be happy *shakes fist at hoyoverse*

warnings: mentions of character death, major spoilers for kaeya and diluc’s story (mostly what’s covered in the manga), and possible contradictions to the canon timeline? like idk if i got stuff right about the timeframe/age of kaeya being adopted, joining the knights, etc but hopefully it can be overlooked since it isn’t a major part of the hc list lmao

kaeya has loved horses his whole life

both his original father and diluc’s had horses, so he’s been around them a lot

when he was little, he spent all his time playing in the stables

by the time he was around 10-12, a little bit after he was taken in by the ragnvindrs, he could care for the horses by himself

crepus would ask him and diluc to help him name new foals

he started learning to ride almost immediately after getting better at caring for the horses

diluc and kaeya would follow crepus on horseback through the wilds of mondstadt sometimes when they accompanied him for errands

after crepus died, kaeya taught himself, and surprisingly became rather skilled

i like to think that there was a period where kaeya and diluc were close immediately following crepus’ death before they drifted apart

so, kaeya taught diluc a lot of what he knows now about horseback riding

when kaeya joined the knights of favonius cavalry, he felt right at home

he learned some vaulting and one-handed skills from training with the other knights

so now he’s REALLY good

he excitedly tells diluc everything he learns whenever he can

diluc listens, but this is during the period when they started to drift apart, so he feels the smallest twinge of jealousy

regardless, a small part of him is proud of kaeya, and he does his best to voice this since he doesn’t want to dampen his brother’s mood

nowadays, kaeya likes to go for quiet rides around windrise on his days off

(context + horse nerd rambling incoming!

for those of you who might not know, most horse’s “names” are nicknames! domestic horses have what i can only describe as “legal names” or as they’re more commonly known, “show names.” these names are typically structured similarly to actual names, with two words (“shooting star”), but some people will use phrases (“a walk with grace”) or titles of movies, songs, etc (“dark side of the moon” “candy crush”). i don’t wanna bore you with the details here, but if you’re interested just look up how horses’ show names are chosen! okay back to the kaeya horse girl hours)

kaeya bought his own horse about three years after he joined the cavalry

she’s a fresian (very pretty breed i love draft horses so so much mwah my big fluffy babies) named shining miracle

kaeya calls her miracle or mira for short

everyone in mondstadt knows mira

kaeya sometimes walks her through the city on patrols, and will almost always be stopped by people leaving gentle pats on mira’s neck and saying hello

during the windblume festival and weinlesefest, kaeya likes to braid cecilias and windwheel asters into her mane.

mira is gentle and soft tempered, so even in the most chaotic of festival settings she will stand quietly

during festivals she gets lots of extra treats, and bakers in mond have taken to making special horse-friendly treats especially for her

needless to say, she’s very well taken care of by both kaeya and the entirety of mondstadt

sometimes, when he’s stressed or otherwise upset, kaeya will take mira out to the shore and gallop her up and down the beach

(with breaks, of course. no matter how pent up he may be, kaeya would never push mira to exhaustion because of it)

okay if anyone has more questions about mira and kaeya i would be so so happy to answer them i’m kind of obsessed

hoyoverse give us horses to ride ingame challenge (IMPOSSIBLE) (look i know that would make it feel more like a zelda clone but come ONNNN i want a pretty horse)

#fable writes 💫 #kaeya alberich #kaeya genshin impact #kaeya headcanons #kaeya genshin #genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #diluc genshin impact #diluc genshin

[electric-soulja-boy-porygon]

Writing fic meme

Tagged by @chronicdelusionist tagging @tiacat11

1. "How many fics do you have?": 25 published, many more unpublished OC stuff lol

2. "What's your total word count": 55,221. A lot of the stuff I'm working on will probably shoot that up haha

3. "What fandoms do you write for": A little bit of whatever strikes my fancy lol. Mega man is a big one, but I'm on a Sonic kick lately

4. "What are your top 5 fics by kudos": Instead of answering that, I'm going to keep checking the 20xx AO3 tag. How am I the only guy who made a 20xx fic....

5. "Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?": I don't get many comments, so I respond to each one! Getting a comment can make my week ^_^

6. "What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending": Definitely the one where everyone gets turned into zombies! I don't tend to like sad endings though haha

7. "What Is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending": Not sure! I have a contender in my WIPs but I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch

8. "Do you get hate on fic?": I'm not popular enough for that thankfully! I don't think that would bother me much though, I think the kind of person who would comment that they didn't like a story instead of just not reading it anymore isn't very impressive to me

9. "Do you write smut": Nothing I've posted. I didn't really get much out of it, but it was fun to take a stab at it

10. "Do you write crossovers": Not really, unless you count taking aspects from one part of a property and putting it in side stuff? I'm currently writing a Sonic Underground fic with some characters from the games, that's as much as you'll get from me haha

11. "Have you ever had a fic stolen": Once again, blessed by not being popular lol. The idea is very amusing to me though

12/13. "Have you ever had a fic translated/Have you ever co-written a fic before": No haha

14. "What's your all time favorite ship": That's a hard one! I think I've been coming around to romance more, as a kid I hated shipping! Sonic X Amy, Studio Ghibli relationships, X/Zero, various Pokemon ships... I don't have that one blorbo ship, but I enjoy shipping!

15. "What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't": I've been trying not to think of it like that lately, although I wouldn't mind being able to better organize a RS fic that I want to write!

16. "What are your writing strengths": Honestly, idk, I just like doing it! I'm trying to focus on that, because I'm a terrible perfectionist who will never let something see the light of day if it doesn't live up to my standards. But being good takes practice, so I have to keep writing!

17. "What are your writing weaknesses": I write basically whenever I'm in the mood for it. I struggle to pace myself because of that. There's a very long story I want to write, and I want to have it's outline done before I publish the first chapter. It doesn't have to be perfect, but I do want to not fly by the seat of my pants

18. "Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language": It's cool, I guess? I'm not experienced with it tbh, but it's a good thing

19. "First fanfic you wrote for": Xiaolin Showdown!

20. "Favorite fic you've written": Honestly? Writing something for a friend's character. It felt good to do... But Stormchasers is a lot of fun right now as well, especially since it's kind of helping me reconnect to a childhood fandom. It's the kind of story I would have wanted to read when I was 10, and that's nice, you know?

Thanks for the questions!

[shibaraki]

Hi Monty! Ok so I come bearing a confession. I finally read "FILL MY LITTLE WORLD (RIGHT UP)" and it was like mind bogglingly good- (no surprises there oop-) but I was definitely putting off reading it. More specifically reading the end of it because I really was not ready for the empty feeling I knew I would get once I finished it. It's like I never wanted the fic to end. I never wanted to lose this feeling I got while reading it. I can't exactly pin point what I feel but it feels like all the good things of the world wrapped in one. A quiet comfort like a steamy shower after a hard day or a warm meal in the winter chill shared with the people you love.

It's really obvious how much you love Aizawa in the way you write him. He's kinda like a cat if you think about it lol. All hisses and aloofness on the outside but as soon as you get close you realize he's so much more than that and he's just so SO GOOD. SO FRICKIN GOOD (lol ik this may sound stupid). He's just so good in they way he loves his students and eri as his own, so good at making you feel seen and protected, and just so good as person I WANNA EAT HIM UP (am I making sense idk at this point lol but all I know is that this man is SCRUMPTIOUS). Idk if you remember when I sent an ask about "The Kids Are Gonna Be Alright" and said how you have inflicted me with Aizawa brainrot. Well if I was knee-deep then, now it's like I am drowning with no escape and I am letting this happen and I LIKE IT... congrats monty you really came through with your Aizawa agenda huh, it's like a punch to the gut with how full force you came through lol. This fic was not a slay it was straight up MANSLAUGHTER XD (but I love you for it regardless) <33333

[also p.s. I have this little creative writing class I do for fun, and your writing is just so inspirational and influential to me that my teacher asked me if I was reading more books lately bcz my writing has leveled up significantly... So thank you for that monty and I am planting a BIG WET KISS directly on your forehead ( I am sorry but you can't escape) ]

omg hi nene!! I hope you’ve been doing well! I know exactly what you mean about that empty feeling 😭 I’ve always gotta brace myself and be in the mood before reading fics because of it! but I’m so happy that you found time (and felt emotionally prepared) to read fill my little world! it’s a personal favourite of mine and it’s wonderful to know you enjoyed it that much ✨

and I’m so glad that my love for him bleeds through into my fics akdjdjdj it doesn’t sound stupid at all (+ yes I remember your ask!!) like genuinely I adore him he is so beloved to me and if my vision of him brings more love his way that makes me even happier!!! like go ahead and arrest me officers I’m guilty and proud of it!!!!

this ask really made my night. thank you nene, both for reading and coming to share ur thoughts with me 🫶🏻 I hope your creative writing class is going well and that you’re having fun, just the idea that my writing is sticking with you and helping you is so alskskdkdkdkl I am gladly accepting the big wet kiss and giving you one in return! much love!!!!

#asks #guestbook

[doublesidedgemini]

yearly reflections

tw: ed talk

🥴🥴🥴

It’s my sisters birthday and we’re going out apple picking for her birthday. We did this last year. I was fasting last year. I was bigger than I am now. I have lost. But. Idk what happened in these past few weeks, I guess I entered a hardcore binge phase and it’s been baaaaad. I was 5-6 lbs away from my goal weight and now I’m back to 10 away. And no signs of my appetite slowing in sight and I just can’t help myself.

I’ve been off tumblr recently because a lot is going on in my life. Work has been crazy and I’m up for a super big promotion! I interview for it on Monday. Honestly, I’m pretty sure I’m going to get it. I’ve just had to do SO MUCH WORK that idk my brain won’t function without the glucose so I’ve been mainlining any carbs and sugars and sweets and alcohol lmfao I can find. And protein.

And I hate it but it also feels hard for me to care. I also haven’t been on tumblr bc I feel like I don’t relate anymore. I haven’t been in this ⭐️ve kind of mindset for a bit now. But that isn’t to say I don’t feel conflicted about that, and I feel extremely uncomfortable with how full and thick my abdomen feels and I can see weight gain/loss so easily in my thighs and right now they just feel so chubby.

Last year I was in a foul mood and had a thermos of green tea to keep me going and was praising myself for making it a whole day under my cal limit or whatever. And now there’s me now, I’ve eaten vegan sushi and 3 Oreos and coffees with creamer and like 5 pieces of candy. And I want Starbucks!!!! And vegan sausages!!! And soup!!! And ramen!!! But also I want none of it.

Ah. Life is so hard. I’ve been through so much this year. I just can’t bring myself to care about things I used to care about. I don’t feel good. I don’t like the way I feel now. I wish I could go back to restricting and losing. But honestly I didn’t like the way that I felt either. UGH!

#tw #tw ed #gem’s personal ana diary

[androidboy]

🌸 :/ + ed tw + body image tw

sooo reuniting with my gf was very nice except i could feel that i had kind of emotionally retreated. i think maybe i was also nervous about whether or not she was gonna be in a bad mood bc that’s just kinda my response to things but she wasn’t and she was very excited to see me and kept telling me how much she had missed me and i just wasn’t as excited as her and i felt a lil guilty but also we had talked every night and i was in my usual routine and we’ve gone that long without seeing each other before so i tried not to feel too bad about it but yeah idk it’s like trying to start a lighter like i can feel the lil flicks of fire but i can’t tell if it’s gonna catch.

it’s fun making plans with her but also it’s hard to be excited about them when i’m not sure those plans are gonna happen. last night and this morning with her was so so good and it felt nice to hold her and be with her but then i was getting dressed and i put on literally the smallest-around-the-waist thing that i have and even when my weights fluctuating they’re always still a little snug and i realized they’re actually a little too big for me right now and i had to wear a belt with them for the first time and idk what to do i feel fine but then like i’m behaving like i’m not while also acting like i am and i was so tempted to go back on having the exclusivity talk with her because ive been flirting with so many people lately and i was like :((( do i really wanna give this up :((( but i don’t even feel like i can do anything bc it feels like i’m gonna lose my footing even more

idk it’s like i’m observing myself from the distance and i can tell i need to change things but i’m also living as myself and i’m scared to change things. literally feel like i’m watching myself waste away and i can’t get myself to talk about it with her bc i feel too vigilant about changes. i’m not used to putting myself first and it’s gonna be really big to put my mental health in front of our relationship and in front of me getting to experience all the positives of being with her. like i think if i fit into these fucking shorts even if it was my low weight type of fit i’d back out but look at this shit

if ive EVER been at this point before it was 5-6 years ago during my biggest relapse i’m literally crying while writing this this is fucking ridiculous i hate that i put myself in this position

[iknowitwontwork]

heloooooooo, i;m sorry you're not having the best day!

if you haven't drunk any water in a while, please have a small glass, and maybe put one of those vitamin c dissolvable tablets in if you're feeling under the weather, it might help.

if you've been sitting for a while, stretch your legs and maybe sit up straight to give your back a break, or get a pillow or something.

if you're cold, get a jumper or a blanket or something cozy, and have a snack if you're hungry!!!!!

i'm so sorry if things aren't going incredibly well for you this week or today or whatever time period it is, but i promise you it will get better and you will feel good again and you know tomorrow is another day, and it may surprise you by being an absolutely amazing day that you weren't expecting!

i hope you walk somewhere today and see a cat and are able to stroke it a bit and have a nice couple minutes with the cat, and then you get a muffin or brownie or some crisps or cake or soemthing along those lines and and eat it whilst watching gilmore ggirls or another comfort show, and the day's overall quality just goes up!

ummm, what else. i can tell you about my day. i have eaten my body weight in special k istg. the chokehold that cereal has on me is ridiculous. i realized that once upon a time is no longer on netflix and is now on disney+, with i dont have, which was pretty annoying as i am currently craving hook/emma interactions and cuteness. yk how sometimes you are really just in the mood for one specific type of cute couple will they wont they enemies to lovers interaction, from two specific people, and then when you realise it's not available to you it'sjust so annoying. yeah, that kinda sucked, but i just watched rory and logan episodes of gilmore girls and felt better :)!

also, i just bought shadow and bone, the first book from that whole series. i was wondering if you've read it? i've heard from some people on here that it is really good, sothat is something to look forward too :)!

ummmm, what else is there to ramble about. idk if you've noticed but i'm trying to distract you from any bad or not nice things that might be happening, and i am going to continue to do this until i run out of words in my brain. gotta cheer up my favouritr tumblr big sister!!!

i have been obsessively listening to maisie peters today! do you watch caitlin marie reacts an youtube? i love her and i just binged all her maisie reactions this morning and spent the rest of the day obsessively listing to her eps and watching live performances. if you haven't already, you should listen to her music! it's really good! i watched her performance with james bay of funeral so many times today, it's just so good! so yeah, that's what the music has been like today.

oh, also i was sitting on my bed, just listening to music, and i was sitting cross legged, and my cat came and sat on me, kinda facing outwards and stretching his whole body out onto my leg, which was really cute and adorable, but he is also a large boy and didn't get off for an hour so by the time he did, the leg cramp was ridiculous istg. it took me five minutes to be able to use it again. so yeah, that happened. he's very sweet though so i'll forgive him.

have you got any plans for the next week? if so, what type of things are they. it is currently a week off from school for me so i am going to laze around, study a bit, listen to music, and maybe see friends at some point. very lazy week :)

soooooo, yeah. i can't really think of anything else to day but i hope this maybe made you feel better and if you were already feeling better before reading this then i hope this kept your mood at that good level.

idk, the amount of rambling in this is riduclous, i should stop, so yeah, byeeeeeeeee

(also no pressure to answer this, i just hope it makes you smile)

hellooo izzy🥺💗

i'm feel a lot better now :) i ate smth and took a bath so :) and i'm pretty cozy in my blanket rn :)

right??? cereal is so good??? wtf??? oooh i haven't watched ouat so as i have disney+ i might watch it now :D and yes yes yess i totally get that feeling bestie!! sjsjsj u can always count on rory and logan to make u feel better lol<3

noooo i haven't read it :( tho it's on my tbr FOREVER aahh!! also i heard that shadow and the bone trilogy is not that good but six of crows duology is better?? idk anyway rn i am ready city of bones by cassandra clare it's good i think tho i am not getting much time to read :(

awww i noticed🥺🥹💕 ilysm for this<33 and i'm so happy that u see me as a big sister ilyilyilyyyy

i don't listen to maisie but maybe now i will :) also yesss i watch caitlin marie reacts on yt!!

omg hgfdsdfgh ur cat sounds adorable<33 u should share a pic of him🥺 and i'm sorry for the cramp izzy ily

aaah that's nice!! i don't have much plans but to study as my exams are from march 1 so yeah :')

AND YES YES YESSSS THIS MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ILYSM MWAH (and yes ik i think i already said ily in this like 10 times but hushhh)

and nooo it's not ridiculous at alll!! ramble whenever and whatever u want to me :)

take care of urself<3333

#izzy<3 #the loveliest mutuals💕✨

[overturetoanadventure]

Yesterday I kayaked at a state park that was a four hour drive, one way, with some friends to celebrate my upcoming birthday. The space was so so so beautiful. It felt really nice to see different friends get along well! Our music tastes didn’t align as a group but we made it work (and I think all four of us are a bit too polite (there’s a better word but not wanting to think hard rn) and after garnering reactions from the first run of songs, we started asking to skip stuff that was already created by the Spotify blend lol). While on the river, we came across a mom and her daughter; the daughter got lots of anxiety halfway into the trip as they floated along. The mom asked us if we know how much longer it would be for them to reach the next drop off point and how they could arrive quicker. I was on a tandem kayak with one of the friends and we offered to tie the rope connecting their tubes together to the back of our kayak. They then joined us for the remainder of the kayak trip. It felt so nice to be able to help them!! Then, after we returned our paddles and vests, we changed and we’re eating snacks while gathered around the trunk. There was a lady who parked next to us that i had seen on the river that wore such a cute outfit and had killer eyeliner so I commented on her makeup! She had brought her own kayak and was struggling to put it on top of the car so we offered to help her. It made me remember the mom conversing with another guy on a tube we came across in which she remarked that she was going to ask him for help but he was too far ahead and instead got there with girl power. Girls/women really do rock :-) I would like to go back there with a full day lined up so that we can go tubing after we kayak as well!! I woke up today in such a great mood thanks to the joy from yesterday!!

I watched memoirs of a geisha with a dear friend yesterday. Before we began the movie my mom called and I can’t remember but some part of our conversation pissed me off and i felt irritated even after ending the call but I was trying really hard to keep those feelings internal and enjoy the movie but she asked if I just wanted her to leave and I felt really bad so I tried to do a lil meditation inside my head and it really did help!! The movie was really good! I remember annotating my copy of the book back in the summer after I graduated high school and rereading it through my freshman semester too so I vaguely remembered the plot but I’m glad that she ended up with the chairman in the end. I’ll miss hanging out like this and am trying to somehow store the shared happiness away for when I’ll, no doubt, miss her presence and affection after she lives abroad. Neither of us are big texters; I do much better with in person communication so distance is a big issue for me unfortunately. Proximity is also the largest factor in relationships which is backed by research.

Moving on, ended the night with watching the finale of the last of us and then dissecting it as a group and sharing our thoughts. I think I would’ve done the same exact thing as Joel, and also like the callback to that ‘crazy’ lady who was hunting Henry bc he had sold out her brother to fedra for medication for his own little brother in the whole ‘what lengths are you willing to go to for your loved ones, even if that’s not what they would want for you to do’ as her brother would have likely forgiven Henry were he in that situation and similarly, though idk about life ending brain surgery for a potential cure but Ellie clearly wanted to go through with working with the fireflies to help find a cure and Joel defies that due to his now accepted role as a parental figure and the associated love and attachment and somewhat manipulation (again not the right word but idc rn) that it entails to parent a child. I was really saddened by the fact that he broke the one constant in their rocky relationship which was trust in honest communication. It’ll be heartbreaking whenever she has to confront with both herself and him that he lied to her about something so important when she tried to offer him an opportunity to come clean.

Also I know the whole ‘I know you say like you me but do you actually hate me’ thing feels overdone as a society and I very much hate that I still have feelings like this about people I’ve been friends with for a little bit if not a few years now. I know for my own self that I go through phases where honestly just being around people is too much and interacting often feels overwhelming and I start to get annoyed by them and that it’s not actually personal. I’m trying to tell myself that if I am capable of feeling this way but still loving those people at the end of the day, then I should be okay with sitting with the idea of my friends being annoyed by or disliking me sometimes. But like idk what’s wrong with me but I’m like well if you don’t like me then I feel that im worth less. It’s really annoying being aware of my people pleasing tendencies too because I constantly question whether im actually a kind person or if my kindness in any situation is driven by the need to be liked. I know this goes back to childhood trauma and blah blah blah but like I’ve already talked this shit through in therapy twice can’t I just be a stupid airhead that’s confident in herself and her relationships. It feels gross to want constant validation. Fuck.

Oh. Also??? My face and neck, and especially the bottom area of the skin under my eyes feels so dry and tight and itchy. It’s all a bit red and my neck is very splotchy. I can’t discern if this is the work of allergies bc I’d never experienced allergic reactions (or was aware of it at least) before or if I somehow went too hard on the retinol?? And I’ve been slathering my skin in like three layers of different moisturizers without drying my face even after I wash it but no dice. I might just have to buy Zyrtec or Benadryl tomorrow and see if it helps. The power of deductive reasoning to the rescue.

#dear diary

[coomerclones]

hi hello i am legitimately here asking you to do all of them. please and thank you. or whichever ones interest you, at least!!! (for the hlvrai ask meme)

DNBDKHBSVKH u kno what. i will thank u that'll definitely help me pass time LOL puttin it under a readmore;

How’d you find out about HLVRAI? > so i definitely saw it all over my dash when it first came out, but i didn't know anything about haIf life so i just kinda ignored it, i didn't really think abt it at all bc i was like 'oh this is hl related and ive never played that, so' but at some point my brother watched it on the suggestion of a pal (he knew more about hl than i did, but also not v much) and then made me watch it bc he thought i'd like it. then we watched it two more times afterwards w different sibs and during the third watch i really felt the fixation Activate in my brain LOL

Who’s your favorite character and why? > a hard question... i love them all v much. the first place is like a threeway tie between gordon tommy and coomer that kinda changes around - ultimately it's probably gordon, but tommy and coomer are so close behind him that it's hard to really say lol though coomer was my fav during the first watch, and tommy was my fav during the next two!

Who do you relate to most in the series? > gordon maybe kbdfjhb

What font do you use most? > the font i use the most PURPOSELY is heffaklump. this is because it is the n/eopets font

Favorite Scene? > i have no idea how im supposed to pick this when there are SO many good ones tbh like several came to mind oooaaa

Favorite Act? > probably.... hm.. the final ?? maybe even act 1 actually. idk they're all good for their own reasons

Favorite Line? > when i first watched it my fav was probably the whole coomer 'gordon, look out! hotted boobs up ahead! tits big ones' + 'gordon, titty boob huge fuck' but now... hm... god.. idk there are so many like good little lines ive come to appreciate very much kjjngjhbfvdf it's hard to pick One

Favorite Beverage? > my fav beverage that i have Commonly is a nice can of barqs root beer, my fav beverage that i only have on rare occassions tho is cola champagne! it's sooo good

Favorite Song (PASSPORT GUARDIAN, Dr.Coomer’s Bumpin Mix)? > AH ok i love passport guardian but it might be dr coomers bumpin mix, that gets in my head a lot kjfnjhbdf

Do you have a favorite headcanon or trope about any of the characters? > they're all neurodivergent and lgbt+ <3

Have you watched any other series similar to HLVRAI (Gorgeous Freeman, Freeman’s mind)? > no and i'm not rly interested in doing so

Do you drink soda? > hell yea

Do you think aliens exist? > hell yea

What toppings do you like on your pizza? > i usually like having a couple toppings at a time and it ranges depending on what i'm in the mood for ig? typically i go for like bacon or sausage or chicken or pepperoni, maybe some olives etc

What weapon would you use in a alien invasion? > idk kfjnjhdb i dont see myself as super likely to be doing anything besides hiding somewhere + crying but probably just whatever i could get my hands on rly lol probably smth generic if im picking a hl weapon tho im either going classic crowbar or hivehand (tho putting my hand into the hivehand sounds atrocious)

If you could be in any video game, which one would you be in? > if it counts im picking n/eopets. if it doesnt count im picking n/eopets the darkest faerie for ps2 if that ALSO doesnt count for some reason... idk probably just animal crossing lol, a nice peaceful existence

If you could memorize any wikipedia page by heart, which one? > the n/eopets wikipedia page would b really funny bc absolutely no one needs to hear me recite that

What’s your favorite video game right now? > currently ive been watching my brother play n/eopets the darkest faerie so im being reminded how much i love that game, so it's that i'm not actively playing anything besides Actual N/eopets right now so ;w;

Have you played any of the Half Life games? > yeah though not til after h/lvrai, and i only just played hl2 in january ! i still have to play the hl2 episodes, but other than that i did finish hl1, blue shift, opposing force, and hl 2 !

Do you watch any of the gang (Wayne, Holly, Gir,etc)? > i mostly watch wayne and scorpy and the occassional baaulp stream - i used to watch a lot more baaulp when i was waking up earlier. i'd never Knowingly heard of any of them until h/lvrai tho !

If they make a second one, what is one thing you want to happen in it? > i hope they drinka nice refreshing soda (my way of saying idk! i dont want anything specific to happen, i'd just be excited to be along for the ride :) !)

What do you think is inside G-man’s suitcase? > some sort of void ig? i dont rly think about it a lot kffjknf

Is Chuck E. Cheese a restaurant or a entertainment center? > ¡ENTERTAINMENT CENTER!

THERE! finished... this successfully passed time and made me sleepy (exactly what i wanted) so thank u so much for asking me to answer them all LOL if anyone read all this ur a hero in my heart.. have a wonderful day

#and now: i go back to sleep for 2-3 hours

[spartanburger]

13 14 15 20 21 41 42

(from these questions)

This got long so the deets are below the cut

#13 Biggest turn ons: This is a hard one because there's a lot of things that I find attractive, some more than others, but none that are so big that they're like a requirement. There's a lot about a person's appearance that can turn me on, but a person's attitude can kill it all for me. I love a soft and cute voice - I've had a few calls late at night with an oomf whose tired-sleepy voice made me just melt because I love it so much (you know who you are if you're reading this :3 ). A combination of different turn-ons for me is more powerful than any one on its own. Also some of those things can be contradictory - midriff and oversized hoodies for example are both turn ons but you can't really have both. Big sucker for cuddling. Also being creative - creative people are sexy af.

#14 Biggest turn offs: Perhaps the most important thing is that the other person has to visibly want to be there and be enjoying themselves. I've met a few people who say they can do a "sexy face" but the face they end up making is thing angry glare that just makes it look like they loath whoever they're looking at. I don't get it - that's a "I hate you / you're doing something wrong / I want to leave" kind of face and it's an immediate mood killer. If you're making that face, you're telling me that you want to leave, don't like me, or that I've made a big mistake and I panic because fuck what if it's my fault? If we're hanging out, romantically or otherwise, and you're not enjoying yourself, that's a problem and I feel like I need to do something to fix it.

#15 Favorite Movie: Titan A.E. It's one of those movies that stuck with me as a kid and to this day is one of those movies where if I can't think of something to watch, it's the thing that I put on.

#20 What I hate most about myself: I hate how hard I struggle with making decisions *for me.* Call it executive dysfunction or call it something else, idk, but if I have to make some decision, take some action, or do literally anything to care about myself, I'm paralyzed and just won't. It's something I've been thinking about a lot in therapy lately and I feel because so much of my childhood was moving from country to country, school to school, never being given a choice in that matter, I never really learned how to make a major decision for me. My college degree was in something I was good at, not necessarily something I liked. I didn't pick my job - it was kinda just offered to me through lucky happenstance. If I'm ever asked to do more work, "no" is not something I know how to say. I've been handed promotions and increases in responsibilities which have been rewarded sure, but I never asked for them, never sought them out - they were offered and I never felt like I could say no even if it was better for me to do so. This goes for friends too - I love each and every one of them so much but if they ask something of me I can't say no to them, even if I needed to for my own good. I just don't know when to quit, when to say no.

This is perhaps the biggest thing I'm struggling with right now. I feel like I need to leave my job, but I just can't bring myself to say it to my manager. I've literally broken down crying at night over the stress of trying to square the circle of (a) I can't stay here because it's slowly breaking me and (b) I can't bring myself to leave.

I am at least very very so very thankful to all my friends who I've talked to about this, and all of my family, who have all 100% have my back and been supportive of me making the hard decisions to find something better. I get there one day.

#21 What I love most about myself: I don't like using the phrase "like myself", I think liking myself feels really egotistical. Something that I am really thankful about myself is my dedication to my friends. I've seen so many people grow bitter over the years and I worry that could've been me. Many of my friends are struggling through life far worse than I have it and I'm very thankful that they trust me enough to confide in me. Yes it can be taxing (see above) but dammit I would rather go through life mutually assisting and being assisted by my best friends than just enjoy my privileged success on my own.

#41 Where I want to be right now: Not Here. I want to be among friends or family, and I'm isolated, stuck in a small car-dependent city that is at least 4.5 hours drive from the nearest friend. Don't have the time or energy outside of work to make IRL friends / never learned that skill, and I'm feeling trapped in that I don't feel like I have the time to actually change any of that, so I'm feeling really fucked right now where I am and I'm desperate to make a big change, pack it all up, and go somewhere else but still feel like I can't. I want to have the time to pursue my creative habits, to be present in this world. Dunno when my expiration date is but I'd hate if it was tomorrow because I don't feel like I've truly lived yet.

#42 The last thing I ate: My typical Sunday breakfast = Scrambled eggs (2 eggs, dash of milk, worcestershire, oregano, salt, pepper, scramble in a tab of toasted butter) on a slice of toast with raspberry jam, 3 breakfast sausages, 3 pieces of bacon, one cup of hot chocolate, one cup of tea w/ manuka honey, another piece of toast with peanut butter & nutella on it. I've had this every Sunday for nearly 10 years and it's wonderful. Probably the biggest meal I eat each week. (I drafted this in the morning, and now I've had dinner so this is no longer the "last" thing I ate but it is the more interesting thing).

#thanks for enabling anon #it's pretty clear you're in love with me