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#if my friend treated me like that i would be beyond pissed . id stop talking to them honestly 💀
yioh ¡ 2 years
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CJSHXIHSKNSSIDHS i’m so sorry but . god mike pisses me off sm it’s insane
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detectivehole ¡ 5 years
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Go comic feral, i followed this blog for a rEASOn and it's bc i like to hear your random vents and rants and also you reblog cool stuff. But i digress, go comic feral i am hERE for it
fine
PETER PARKER BEING RICH IS STUPID  he didnt even ern what he has himself it was nt even himn he wasnt in his body maybe if i had got to see him start fron nothing to being a cool ceo or whatever id be able to stand it but nooooooo he just GOT is for nothing so it feels stupid like “ha ha what if like tony stark haha” its DUMB and i haven’t read a spider man comic for a long time
deadpool/spiderman crossover comic bad. feels out of character a lot. funny concept and full of funny jokes but as far as characterization its bad in my opinion- was made to capitalize off the hype of the ship and we all know it
don cates should be banned from writing comics bc he fucking sucks and ill never forgive him for what he did/tried to do to venom
deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good dea
the venom movie was a lot of fun but it was very ooc a lot HOWEVER seeing some of the cut scenes and scripts you can see that it used to be actually fairly in character for the comics but a lot of scenes with eddie establishing himself as not actually the most nicest of guys (not that eddie isnt a nice guy deep down but he is a good amount fucked up with a big ol hero complex and a problem with ‘i can do no wrong” mentality sometimes) were cut and considering how the fandom for the movie treats him i can see why the cut those bits out bc i dont think movie goers would have liked him as much wich is a shame bc he is a good guy at the end of the day just fucked up
straight white male comic fans are the worst people in the world and breaking their fingers is a daydream i indulge in 
matt murdock is a himbo
foggy nelson is a good man who deserves better friends
i can tell what deadpool comics someone has read based on how they characterize wade in their fan works and i have a 80% success rate with it. the most common was the daniel way run but now its the spider-man/deadpool crossover series
soulda used miles for the mcu spidey instead of cannibalizing his story for parts like they did. dick move, Disney
mcu bad
i think just the idea of dc’s Red Tool is fucking hilarious but i dont like his character at all
batman and superman should fuck but they wont :/
matt and foggy should to but the comic industry is afraid of making long running characters lgbt bc theyre WEAK
deadpool need a canon bf they cant keep telling us hes pan and not showing us for reals- hell he could just go on one date or be shown having a one night stand or something- something beyond a damn joke
cable gay. no i will not listen to any other opinions.
im excited to read moon knight i have a book waiting i just have to finish my current one
SCUD the disposable assassin is the most underrated comic EVER and i LOVE IT however i think it ended stupid and bad however it went on fucking hiatus for like a decade and then was rapped up really fast so any ending is a godsend
i desperately want a long-form stand alone series abt wanda wilson bc shes the perfect foil for a good Feral Dumbass Woman comic. think abt it; shell sell immediately bc of recognizable brand, and then she can just go on violent stupid adventures without any of the other dp corps. it doenst have to line up with any canon i just want insane lady dp adventure comic. this is an unreasonable dream but mine none the less
i though that agent venom was stupid
tank girl is fucking amazing and i love it i never understand whats going on and i enjoy the confusion
reading early hulk comics feels like watching a weird, poorly produced old black and white sci-fi soap
there needs to be better, more easily accessed, official reading-order guides published and posted on the walls of comic shops everywhere
the 80s and 90s were the best time for marvel comics and no one can tell me otherwise. that was peak comic time
the worst time for comics was the 2000s and early 2010s
sometimes i am shocked by the art that gets the editors pass in comics. some of it is so bad and im not even talking about the disproportionate ladies
the lego marvel and dc movies are way better than the live action movies and im not even being sarcastic
seriously the 2000s made some horrible comics
i feel like committing acts of mass violence every time someone says comics arnt real reading/stories/implies theyre worth less of any value than a novel
i read the first deadpool comic i got so much that the art itself is so ingrained in my mind that people have shown my just the corners of panels and ive identified them correctly
i distinctly remember the first time the woman at the book store stopped asking me for parental permission to buy the comics i was getting (12yos) because i went there so often that she just remembered who i was and that the adult would say its fine
i refuse to talk about comics with people at cons because i am gatekept or flirted with every single time no matter what and there is no in between. and yea its because i have tits. youd think that eventually theyd learn but gross comic men never do and all the others have adopted the same policy as me so the closest i come to positive comic interaction at cons is standing in the same vicinity as another chick, looking at the same section, and the kinda smiling at each other
i think the avengers are boring. really really boring. the x-men are way better
i related to gwenpool too much when she first started and it scared/offended me so i stopped reading for a while until her character developed more and we stooped being so similar
i have spider-man bedding. i picked it out only a few months ago. its good it makes me feel cool in a very uncool way
watching spider-man as a kid made me wanna be a scientist. watching batman as a kid made me want to do martial arts. i ended up failing chemistry and falling on my face a lot instead.
i had a huge venom toy and a huge spiderman toy as a kid and while i did make them fight a lot i also made them hug just as much. i wanted them to be friends
on that note PETER IS MEAN TO THE SYMBIOTE NOW AND HE DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON NO MORE hes just such a dick about criminal reform eddie and the symbiote aint special with this- he says he believes people can be better but he really doesnt show it. he tends to think people are set in their ways and while this makes sense forthe most part considering how much hewas bullied as a kid/adult (that also contributes to his mild “i protect my own” mentality  tho at least he consciously fights that one) it stil pisses me off
i can think way more but i need to sleep i think
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your-dietician ¡ 3 years
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Dr. Steven Edelman on Hypoglycemia + Glucagon – Diabetes Daily
New Post has been published on https://depression-md.com/dr-steven-edelman-on-hypoglycemia-glucagon-diabetes-daily/
Dr. Steven Edelman on Hypoglycemia + Glucagon – Diabetes Daily
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This content originally appeared on Beyond Type 1. Republished with permission.
By Alexi Melvin
Dr. Steve Edelman, MD, is a diabetes specialist as well as the Founder of Taking Control of Your Diabetes (TCOYD) — an organization focused on empowering those with diabetes and encouraging them to “take a more active role managing their diabetes, and being self-advocates.”
Dr. Edelman recently took the time to chat with Beyond Type 1 about the importance of glucagon, among other key issues around hypoglycemia.
BT1: Thanks so much for speaking with us today Dr. Edelman — to start, can you talk about your personal background with type 1 diabetes?
Dr. Edelman: When I turned 15, I came down with all the drastic signs and symptoms and was diagnosed with type 1. 1970, they really were in the dark ages. So, my doctor put me on one shot of insulin and regular in the morning and we had urine testing and that was it. Could you imagine being on regular insulin just with breakfast?
And then eventually when I was an undergrad at UCLA, I ran into some really good diabetes doctors and they got me on the right track, but I did have really poor control for a long time. I didn’t really realize the importance of it. Unfortunately, as a result, I do have complications, but the good news is they’re stable.
What inspired you to create TCOYD?
It dawned on me that the education to people with diabetes was really quite lacking way back to 1995. I went to the Joslin clinic for my training. I went to UCSC to do clinical research, and I realized, all of the education was just going to healthcare professionals.
Not that it wasn’t good, but that’s the only direction it was going. I decided to put on a conference for people with diabetes at the San Diego convention center in September of 1995 and that was the beginning of TCOYD. And I was just going to do one conference here. I had two young kids and so I was just going to do it once a year. And that was a lot of work. But the feedback was so powerful, and people were, it’s a great phrase, so thirsty for information that I just said, “you can’t just stop at one a year” and then slowly spread. And then we started putting them on around the United States.
I felt that it was still important to educate healthcare professionals and about 15 years ago I kind of gave up on healthcare professionals. They were really stuck in the mud, really hard to change their practice habits, so that’s why I focused on patients. Then about 15 years ago, we started this program called Making the Connection, where we brought people with diabetes and healthcare professionals together in the same learning environment. The healthcare professionals got their own lectures in their own room at the convention centers and patients got their own, but in parts of the day, we brought them together. It was all in an effort to improve the doctor-patient relationship because our system is pretty broken. People are pretty pissed off at their caregivers. And if you don’t have trust in your caregiver and if the caregiver doesn’t have empathy back, it’s a bad combination.
So now we do our CME programs in parallel with our patient programs, and now we converted to virtual and I think we did a really good job. I don’t get much credit myself. If you’ve seen some of the crazy videos we do to try to keep education entertaining. I think we have a combination of good content and entertaining. I think the future’s going to be virtual learning for us. We have a conference on Saturday and we have people signed up from 60 different countries, about 3000 people across the United States, every state.
What sparked your desire to bring awareness to hypoglycemia and the need for glucagon options in particular?
A lot of people do not remember that in the old days there were people dying of hypoglycemia and it still occurs. Thanks to the continuous glucose monitor (CGM), it has gone down dramatically. I haven’t had any patients recently pass away from hypoglycemia, but I’ve had 10 people through the years, and they all were the same. They all had really good control. They were told a zillion times that they need to avoid complications, get their blood sugars down, but we didn’t have tools to prevent severe hypo. After having type 1 diabetes for 10 years, you kind of lose your response to hypoglycemia and you lose your symptoms. It’s really a sad thing.
What are some of the main issues that lead to severe hypoglycemia today?
Being a diabetes specialist, I see some pretty serious stuff all the time including people who failed at using the old glucagon kit, which delayed therapy and caused unbelievable hassles. I also have an uncle who had type 1 and he died from hypoglycemia and he had severe hypoglycemia unawareness. He had no complications of diabetes. He was treated at the Joslin Clinic when he was diagnosed, but he was so strict. I could not get him to back off like my other patients. And he basically got low and didn’t realize it. And that was it.
How have glucagon options progressed?
With the old glucagon kits, you had to be almost like a chemist to put these things together. And think about it, the person administrating and getting the glucagon ready to give, they’re typically not medically oriented. They’re the mother, the sister, coworker. And you’ve got to squirt diluted fluid into a little vile of powdered glucagon, mix it up, make sure it’s all dissolved. Then you got to suck it back out into the syringe. Then you got to take the syringe and jab it into someone on the ground that’s typically having a seizure or biting their tongue or rolling over, or demonstrating pretty bizarre behavior, which can occur. And when someone’s like that, time is of the essence. Anything that could make the quick administration of glucagon in an easy way for almost anybody, no matter what type of background is, is so important.
What would you say is the biggest obstacle around glucagon access today?
I think the biggest issue today is people do not have a valid prescription for it. I always have this analogy, if you have a house or an apartment and it gets robbed and they steal everything that’s important to you, what do you do next? You get an alarm system on your house. And I always say that same analogy. If someone’s had a bad hypo, they always have glucagon with them, but they did not have one at the time that they really needed it when they had a bad hypo. So, we have to really say, “Yeah, it can occur even if you’re on CGM, especially if you’re a type 2 on insulin as well,” cause that happens. And you got to have a valid glucagon kit with you, a valid meaning unexpired. These new glucagon kits last much longer. They don’t expire as fast as the older ones do, so that’s also helpful.
What are some ways that the CGM can most effectively help avoid hypos?
Well, one of the things I do in clinic is to really check where people set their upper and lower alerts. I had a patient yesterday in clinic who has had type 1 for 60 years. Her A1C is unbelievable, but she does have hypo unawareness and her lower alert was 65. You have to convince people that the extra alerts are worth it to you.
A lot of people said they put their lower alert at 65 and they don’t realize this situation called the “lag time.” So, when your blood sugar is dropping, even if you have a diagonal arrow down compared to, even worse, one arrow down or two arrows down, looking at the Dexcom arrows, they don’t realize that the glucose in your circulation is probably much lower than it appears on the Dexcom monitor or your phone. Because the Dexcom sensor and other sensors too, they measure the glucose in the subcutaneous tissue, and there’s a lag between the subcutaneous tissue and the circulation.
When your Dexcom goes off or when your CGM goes off at 65, and if your trend arrow’s going down, you could be 45 or 40. So that’s really an important issue, especially for people that their symptoms aren’t as obvious anymore. You could be caught off guard. And I had multiple patients that has occurred with. And then unfortunately, as you know, the majority of T1Ds in this country do not wear a CGM and that’s the topic of a whole other story.
Does this lag time issue apply to a regular glucometer as well?
Yes. If your blood sugar is dropping, your meter or CGM may be perfectly accurate of the subcutaneous tissue at 65. If you checked your blood sugar with a meter, it’s still going to say 65, but your circulation that’s going to your brain might be 45. So, the lag time is key. You could have the most accurate meter or CGM in the world, it doesn’t affect the lag time.
Is there anything else that you would want people to know about glucagon options that you don’t think is discussed enough?
I would say this, people have to ask their caregiver for it because in a busy clinic, it’s typically the last on the list and it’s important that they ask for a glucagon prescription.
I think they need to know that there’s two now that are just as easy to use as an EpiPen. Obviously, one is the nasal spray (BAQSIMI). But these devices aren’t for them, they’re for people who are going to be around them and that they should get more than one if they’re going to be at work or out of the house a significant part of the day. And have their best friend or their coworker be on the cautious side because when you least expect it, it can happen.
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Read more about A1c, baqsimi, continuous glucose monitor (CGM), Dexcom, hypo, hypoglycemia, insulin, Intensive management, joslin, low blood sugar (hypoglycemia), Taking Control Of Your Diabetes (TCOYD).
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ael-xander ¡ 6 years
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The Darkening and the Lightening
Chapter Eighteen
Ael’s Apartment
Ael stepped into her apartment and smiled softly. The place hadn’t changed since her last secret visit. Though it wasn’t a big deal she visited here, still, she didn’t want it to seem a big deal. She knew one day soon she’d be back here permanently, so she didn’t let herself get too attached to the Sanctum, even though every day she was there, she felt the place welcome her and offer to keep her safe. Glancing at her promise ring, Ael steadied her emotions. This wasn’t her Gram’s place. That place was gone, destroyed. Doubt had no place here, even though standing next to Stephen should fill her with joy, her fear kept rising with the concept of her Gram having cursed items.Items she might have kept and be influenced by. 
Stephen took her hand in his, bringing it up to his lips. “Hey,talk to me, Ael. Where is the flirty woman I was just following? What’s wrong, darling?” When she didn’t respond, Stephen stepped in front of her, lifting her chin so their gazes met. “Ael, something is wrong. Talk to me. I can’t help if you don’t talk.” 
“I know my Gram didn’t treat me well. Some of her methods would be considered cruel, but, it doesn’t make her evil,” she stated. “You’re saying that I kept evil in my personal safe haven for a couple of years without noticing. How terrible does that make me, Stephen?” Ael turned on her heel, heading to the kitchen. “Most of Gram’s stuff is in the last room on the left. Feel free to look.” 
“Ael, wait-” Stephen moved to her, but she put up a hand, stopping him. “Just go look Stephen. I’ll get us some water to drink and try to shake this off, but see this from my perspective. This is like if I told you that the Ancient One, before her death delved heavily into dark magic and used it for evil purposes, keeping it around after to influence others on their dark paths.” 
Stephen stood there, his mind taking in her words, knowing Ael didn’t know how long the Ancient One had lived or how she kept herself alive. Yet, when you looked at things from the outside, there was a new perspective which sometimes gave a different view to the same set of circumstances. In this case, he wasn’t sure he liked what she inferred. “You’re not saying she put the Book of Calgiostro in the path of Kaecilius to make him take the dark path to Dormammu.” 
“I didn’t say it, Stephen, you did by implying that’s what my Gram did to me. The only difference- you loved the Ancient One and everyone you’ve met hated my Gram, including myself for what she put me through.” Ael handed him a bottle of water. “Perspective is a bitch, suddenly, huh? So, how many items are at the Sanctums which are considered too dangerous to be in other hands? Yet, they must be protected so they don’t fall back into evil hands?” Ael looked at Stephen. “The wand of Watoomb? Even your Eye of Agamotto? What about the Book of Caligiostro? All dangerous in the wrong hands, yet safe in yours, right? Why? Who says these items haven’t been kept safe in my hands, Stephen?” 
She walked down the hallway, her back straight, her body tight as she moved from him. He knew she was upset, angry. More importantly, he didn’t blame her, not fully. Yet, there was a distinct difference between him and her. One she failed to mention, one he needed to point out to her. He waved his hand, crimson bands wrapped around her, pulling her back to him. “Ael, you are not Sorcerer Supreme. You haven’t lived in a Sanctum. You don’t know the dangers like I do.” 
She gripped the phoenix pendant around her neck, inhaled deeply, and spoke one word so quietly, he almost failed to hear it. Yet as it emerged from her lips, his Crimson bands of Cyttorak failed, freeing her. Anger lit her green eyes, yet she remained in place. “Do not ever do that again, Stephen. I was bound before as a child and hurt. I will not tolerate that from anyone who claims to care for me. You also forget, my parents were Masters among the Order. I did live in the Sanctum at one point until their deaths. You’ve yet to find out about my parents, shame.” 
Stephen moved fast, pulling her into his arms, not letting her escape when she tried to move. “No, Ael. We’re going to talk this out. This has been building for weeks now. I don’t know why beyond your Gram is in the center. I will not let her evilness hurt you anymore. You mean too much, Ael Xander.” 
“Then perhaps, I need to come back here and stay.” She refused to look at him. “Shelly will have told you Gram did awful things to me. She made me exactly what she wanted me to be- a trained healer/assassin. Also trained in magical artefacts. The methods used were evil, awful and more. I was beaten, hurt, abused by her and her friends.Through it all, I kept myself on the side of what was right as much as I could without getting myself or my friends killed.” Ael picked up a journal on the table next to her and threw it at Stephen. “My Gram’s journal. There are notes in there about her friends, some of her spells, and pieces of my training. You might find it useful when you look in the room. Do as you wish. I’ll be back later.” 
Ael walked past him and out the door of her apartment. He debated going after her versus cataloging the items in her Gram’s collection. Knowing that either way was bound to get him in trouble, he let her walk off her anger, going to the back bedroom. The moment he opened the door, he felt the power of many items and looked back at the front door. He placed a hand on the door and realized she had warded it completely so it never leaked out of the room. “Fuck. You’re an idiot, Stephen, but that’s nothing new, now is it?” He entered the room cautiously, opening the paper in the journal that said, Gram’s inventory. “Best start from here.” 
*****
Ael took the elevator down, inserting her earbuds into her phone, setting her music playlist on random as she hit the street. Anger radiated from her, so people just moved away from her as she walked the street. Mentally, she berated Stephen for not being more perceptive of her skills. Part of it was her own fault, she was still wary of using all of her magic. Some of it wasn’t normal, well, not human normal. But she wasn’t sure now she could even trust him with that information. Hell, not even Reed or Shelly knew it. All the tests came back with her being 100% human. 
The music soothed her, let her move to the sound of something more than herself. After about ninety minutes, her phone rang. Glancing at the caller id, she smiled and pressed the button. “Johnny? How are you? I’ve not heard from you in ages.” 
Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, laughed. “Hey babe, what are you doing right now? We got back from a mission and I was missing someone who understood what it’s like out there. You busy?” 
Ael looked at her promise ring, anger having lessened, but not entirely abated. Johnny was an old lover, but always a friend. His sister had become close to her when she and Reed married. “I was, but for you, I’ll make time. You want to get something to eat? Or is this where you want me to meet you at the tower?” 
Johnny laughed. “Come on over. I’ll order pizza and we’ll eat. I know Reed, Sue, and Ben will be glad to see you too. It’s been a while. Rumour has it you’ve been at the Sanctum lately.” 
“You have no idea, Johnny. My life has gotten extremely complex since we last saw each other. Be there in about twenty.” Ael hailed a cab, giving the cabbie the address for the Fantastic Four tower. “Thanks.” She sat back,debating, then called Wong, letting him know she might not be home until late and that Stephen was at her apartment dealing with magical items and he might need Wong’s help.
Fantastic Four Tower
Johnny met her at the entrance, kissing her on the lips and hugging her tightly. “You look good, babe. Working out and such?” Ael punched his arm. “And such, you surfer dude. Where’s everyone else?” 
“They’re upstairs. Food just arrived, so you’re in plenty of time. They rode up the elevator together in comfortable silence, Johnny’s arm wrapped around Ael’s shoulders. When they walked off the elevator, Reed was waiting. Ael rushed to him, hugging him tightly. “Missed you, Reed. You okay? Nothing wrong?” 
“Missed you too, Miss Mary Doomsday. How’s Shelly and Bast?” 
“Good, They got their gifts and said thank you. Where’s Sue?” Ael looked over and saw Ben, giving him a hug as well. She looked from one to another. of the men. “What’s going on guys? 
Sue walked out, her body partially invisible, bandages around her chest. “They didn’t want you to see me quite like this until I healed. How are you, Ael?” 
Ael batted away Sue’s hands and glared at the guys. “Dammit, get the med kit. You guys eat. You literally just got back. As in fifteen minutes before you called me. Dammit, Reed.” She guided Sue to the couch, slowly unwrapping the bandages. “Oh, Sue. Okay, I can do this. It’s going to be a bit painful, but I’ promise it will be only for a couple of minutes, okay?” Ael laid her hand on Sue’s forehead and the other on Sue’s heart, sinking herself into the wound, gently allowing herself to visualize where the most damage was, seeing it, then beginning to fix it, using her true nature’s ability. Slowly, she felt her ability rebuilding the muscles, the tissue, the cellular structure. Ael knew she’d been immersed for a while, because her energy started to flag. Carefully, she came out of the trance, opened her eyes to a smiling Sue Richards, no longer partially invisible. “Hey, sunshine, nice to see you.” 
“Hey, babe, seen any handsome men lately?” Sue quipped softly. 
Ael blushed. “Well, there is your husband, Ben, and possibly your brother when he’s not being a dork.” Johnny protested as both women laughed. “Why do you ask?” 
Reed cleared his throat. “Because the Sorcerer Supreme showed up, demanding to speak to you and take you with him. How do you know Dr. Strange?” 
Ael rubbed her head, trying to make it stop spinning. “He’d be the guy I was seeing until he pissed me off over-” looks at phone, “five hours ago. He hates Gram, said I’m enthralled by her stuff and I walked out of my apartment.” Ael stood up. “I’ll handle this.” 
Johnny took her arm. “Babe, let me tell him to go fuck off. He has no hold on you. You’re a free woman and can do and see who you want. Just because you’re a healer and can do magic doesn’t make you beholden to him.” 
“Well, there’s the whole dating thing,” Ael said as the room went dark and she fell, Johnny catching her. 
Reed yelled to Ben. “Let the damn sorcerer in. We’re taking Ael to medbay. She overdid it again. Sue, stay there. Do not over do it. She just healed you.” 
“No, Reed, she didn’t just heal me, she completely fixed me from top to bottom.” Sue stood up, taking Ael’s phone, and opening the doors to the medbay. “Johnny, carry her into here. We’ll get her an IV and see about one of her healing amulets. Reed, talk nicely to the sorcerer. When we were linked, I felt Ael’s thoughts a bit. She really cares for Dr. Strange. The ring she’s wearing is from him.” 
Reed lifted a brow. “She doesn’t take gifts from any guy. Ever.” 
Sue nodded. “Exactly. So, find out first what’s going on before you try to kill him. Please?” She walked off after her brother. “Johnny, no, you cannot roast the Sorcerer Supreme. No, you haven’t dated Ael in a long time, you can’t just claim her.” 
Reed opened the door. “Ben let Dr. Strange in.” Reed put out his hand. “Listen, Ael is unconscious from healing my wife. We’re taking care of her. But what the hell is between you and Ael? If you’re going to hurt her, you might as well leave.” 
Stephen gestured and appeared behind Reed. “We’re dating, I had hoped she was over being angry and I could talk to her about the items she kept from her Gram. Ael has power, untapped power.” He looked to where Sue and Johnny were. “I am falling for her, Richards. Do you have a problem with me seeing my girlfriend?” 
Reed shook his head. “Johnny might, but he will learn to cope. Go on. We’ll talk about Gram later.” 
Stephen walked to the medbay, the other men close behind. His only thought now was how to get her back home where you belonged. Stephen looked at Ael’s pale face and growled.”She’s almost completely drained again. Dammit.” 
Sue brought out two amulets. “These should help. They’re her amulets.” 
“Hers?” Stephen took the amulets in his hand. “What do you mean?” He activated them and placed them around her neck. 
“She made them for us. Said they’d heal on command. Not perfect for big items, but enough to stabilize to get help.” Sue brushed back Ael’s hair, then looked at him. “You upset her today. Very much, Stephen Strange.” 
“I know, but I can’t do a thing about it until she’s awake.” Stephen sighed and looked at Ael. “Damn her grandmother to the tenth level of Hel.” 
They all said, “Amen.” Stephen grunted in amusement. “So no one else likes her either.” Reed shook his head. “No, let me tell you a story about Ael and her Gram.” 
Prologue   Chapter One:    Chapter Two:     Chapter Three:     Chapter Four:     Chapter Five:     Chapter Six:     Chapter Seven:     Chapter Eight:     Chapter Nine:    Chapter Ten:     Chapter Eleven:   Chapter Twelve:     Chapter Thirteen:   Chapter Fourteen:     Chapter Fifteen:    Chapter Sixteen:  Chapter Seventeen:    Chapter Eighteen:    Chapter Nineteen:     Chapter Twenty:     Chapter Twenty-one:
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He Doesn't Really Do Feelings. (Mikey Way x Reader)
Shrugging on your jacket, you grabbed your Algebra book and closed your locker door.
Looking up to your right, you were met by the smiling face of Frank Iero. Frank was in your Spanish class, so the two of you weren't strangers, but you weren't exactly friends either, so him waiting for you at your locker was a little bit strange.
"So you're into the little Way, hm?" he giggled, wiggling his eyebrows.
You must've looked completely horrified because Frank burst out laughing. His laughing stopped immediately when you grabbed him by his leather jacket and dragged him into the nearest classroom, though.
"You're really strong for a tiny person, you know that?" Frank pouted.
"How did you know that?!"
"Look- between me and you - just because it looks like I'm sleeping in class, doesn't mean I am."
"But- you... you... what?"
"No offense," he said, scratching the back of his neck, "but that Chelsey friend of yours really does not know how to use her inside voice," he said sheepishly.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god," you mumbled, starting to pace up and down the empty classroom before stopping in front of Frank, an anxious expression on your face. "You didn't tell him, did you?" you questioned while toying nervously with the hem of your t-shirt.
"Relax, Mikey is as oblivious as ever."
"And you're not planning on telling him either, right?"
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," Frank reassured.
"Thank you, Frank," you sighed in relief.
Frank leaned back against one of the wooden desks, eyes following your pacing frame as he studied your still-anxious body language and concerned facial expression.
"You really like him, don't you?"
You stopped pacing and glanced at Frank, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his eyes. Chelsey was the only person who had known about your feelings for Mikey for the past couple of years and now suddenly that wasn't the case anymore. Even though Frank assured you that he wouldn't say anything about it to Mikey, having someone who you weren't extremely close with know what was probably your biggest secret was exponentially frightening. Especially when that someone happened to be one of Mikey's best friends.
Managing to choke out a 'yeah', you finally willed yourself to meet Frank's eyes.
"I can help you, you know. I won't tell Mikey, cause I know that's the last thing you want, but there's other things I can do."
"Like?"
"Well, it'd really help if we became actual friends first," he grinned.
"Okay. We're friends now, then."
"Great! So, I'll meet you by our table at lunch!"
"Wait, our table? Wha-"
"BYE, BEST FRIEND!" Frank yelled to you over his shoulder as he swiftly slipped out of the classroom. 
~
Cautiously walking into the cafeteria, your eyes scanned the room in search of a leather jacket. You couldn't see Frank anywhere, but you did find 'our table'. Tucked away in the far left corner was a table occupied by three guys wearing all black and chatting quietly to each other. One of them, of course, was Mikey. Lounging casually in a way that made the cafeteria seats come across as comfortable, he looked as gorgeous as ever. Of course, he didn't find himself attractive at all and neither did most of the girls in your year, but that didn't matter because you'd kill to be able to plant kisses along that jawline.
"Ya know, for someone who's scared of Mikey finding out about her feelings for him, you're not doing a very good job at being subtle about it."
The unexpected sound of Frank's voice behind you caused you to jump a little, making the green-eyed boy giggle.
"Don't sneak up on me like that," you breathed, hand over your heart.
"Don't get so lost in staring at people in front of the entire school, then," came Frank's cheeky reply.
"Fair enough."
Wrapping his slender fingers around your wrist, Frank began dragging you towards his friends.
"Frank, hold on, I changed my mind.  I really don't think this is a good ide-"
But it was no use. Frank moved unbelievably fast, and before you knew it, you were standing in front of three wide-eyed teenage boys.
"Hey, guys. This is my friend, (Y/N). She's gonna be spending some time with us. That cool?"
There was no response from the males at first, which made you question whether this was really happening or if it was just some insane dream. Right before you could run away in embarrassment, one of the boys spoke.
"Of course it's okay! You're fucking gorgeous!"
You were a bit taken aback at his words, so you just stood there with your mouth open, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"Jason, watch your language! And that's no way to talk to a lady," was the reply of the brunette guy sitting next to who you now knew as Jason. "Please excuse my friend, I'm sure he meant it as a compliment, it's just sometimes he has trouble expressing his thoughts in a non-douchey way," he continued, eliciting a 'I can hear you, asshole' from Jason.
"I'm Sam, by the way," he offered you his hand and a heartfelt smile, which you gladly returned.
"(Y/N)," you said while shaking his hand.
"Pleasure to meet you, (Y/N). Welcome to our table."
~
Frank had introduced you to his friends in the cafeteria two months ago and since then, you'd gained three new friends in the guys. Frank's plan to get you and Mikey together was coming along swimmingly, except for one tiny flaw...
Mikey wasn't interested in you at all.
As a friend, maybe. Romantically, not a chance in hell.
No matter how hard you tried to spend time alone with him, and no matter how many hints you dropped, Mikey still treated you as no more than a friend. Sometimes even no more than an acquaintance, which left you second-guessing whether he even liked you as a person, let alone as a potential girlfriend.
The was one good thing to gain from all of this, though - you and Frank had become exceptionally close and you now considered him one of your closest friends. He introduced you to his band, My Chemical Romance, which was comprised of him, Mikey, Mikey's older brother Gerard, and their friend, Ray Toro. Gerard and Ray were great people and you became comfortable with them quite quickly. You'd watch them rehearse every week and soon enough you became the unofficial "fifth member of the band".
Yet Mikey still didn't give you the attention you were hoping for, if any at all.
"I'm telling you, Frankie. He hates me," you bit your lip and threw your hands up in frustration.
"He doesn't hate you, babe. Maybe he just doesn't know what to say to you. I mean, it's Mikey. He doesn't really do feelings," Frank replied while disconnecting his guitar from the amp.
It'd been an incredible practice, and you had been on your feet clapping and cheering at the top of your lungs while congratulating the boys. They all gave you shy smiles and thanked you, except for Mikey, who didn't even look at you; prompting the current conversation you were having with Frank.
"I just really wanted him to like me. Even just as a friend. But it seems like that's never gonna happen so..." you trailed off.
"Hey," Frank spoke softly, striding over to you and pulling you against his chest in a tight hug, placing a kiss to your forehead. "It'll be okay, babe. He'll come around."
The two of you stayed like that for a little while, before someone cleared their throat in the doorway, causing you to separate.
It was Mikey, and he looked pissed.
"(Y/N), can I talk to you, please? Alone?" he asked impatiently.
"Um, yeah, sure," you said.
Shooting Frank a confused look - to which he replied with a thumbs up and a 'good luck' - you followed Mikey out of the garage and into his bedroom.
His room was suited perfectly to his personality. It hand band posters up on one wall, and drafts of song lyrics and music sheets hung on the wall above a cluttered desk on the opposite end of the room. It was cozy and comforting, but you couldn't shake the feeling of dread in your stomach. 
Expecting him to yell at you about how much he hated you, you reluctantly broke the awkward silence that hung over the room like a heavy cloud.
"So, you wanted to talk to me about someth-"
"What's going on between you and Frank?" he interrupted you.
His words stunned you beyond belief.
"Excuse me?"
"You and Frank. What's going on between the two of you. Are you together?"
"Me- me and Frank? Together?"
"You heard me."
"No! God, no! Why- why would you even think that?!"
Mikey scoffed. "Why wouldn't I think that? You two are practically inseparable. All the hugging and kissing and 'babes'. It's kinda hard not to notice!"
Mikey's voice was laced with anger and frustration and if you weren't mistaken, jealously...?
"Mikey, I don't understand why y-"
"Just answer the fucking question, (Y/N)!"
After the way he had been treating you since the moment you had met him, he had no right to speak to you that way. And there was no way you were going to take it.
"How dare you? How dare you, Mikey?! You've been treating me like I don't exist since the beginning, and now you suddenly care about who I'm dating?! What the fuck, Mikey? Why? Why do you care?!"
"Why do I care? Why do I...," he stopped abruptly and let out an almost animalistic groan before rushing towards you.
He grabbed you roughly and you froze in shock, half-expecting him to hurt you, but he did the last thing you would've thought him to do.
He kissed you.
He kissed you deep and with infinite passion like your lips were air and he was drowning.
When you pulled apart, you were both gasping for breath.
"That's why." Mikey said, exasperated.
"No."
“No?" he asked, puzzled.
“Frank and I. There's nothing between us. I feel nothing for him. I have feelings for you. Only you, Mikey. I have for the longest time," you sighed as you closed your eyes and relished in the feeling of being so close to him.
The smile that he wore on his face was enough to make your knees weak.
"I'm so sorry, (Y/N). For everything. I was a complete dick to you and I know that nothing I say can make up for it. But is there any chance you'd let me try?" he cupped your face, his eyes pleading with you.
"If it means that I can do this anytime I want," standing on your tippy-toes, you kissed his jawline, "then yes, little Way."
_______________________________
Thank you for reading x
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raven-1985 ¡ 7 years
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Changes through reality, how to walk away from a deep connection!
trying to express a situation without the story has proven difficult, but i wanna share a lesson I've learnt recently with everyone, and hopefully help someone who maybe going through the same as what i had.
So once again i did it, choose the wrong guy, but at the beginning i thought that he was the do all and end all kinda guy, all the promise of, ill look after you, take care of you, treat you better than the others etc etc.
Well for the first few weeks yeah it was great, but i had this gut feeling inside that was brewing, that i should get out now! but the excitement over powered me AND I CARRIED ON. I t was little things that i started to notice at first!
over months thing got worse but what i didn't realise that the love that was growing was very unhealthy, it was love but a control over me. OVER TIME he changed me, he changed how i thought, how i looked and i lost all confidence in myself without even realising what he was doing to me, to me he would say all the right things like how beautiful i looked and how much he want me! but yet didn't come near me.
He would make me feel like a million dollar without realising it made me feel worthless and question myself in the mirror.
I lost lots of friends, but not because he told me too but because he said he was depressed and had social anxiety, i could see how much he hated being around people, so i stopped seeing people as i felt like i couldn't leave him as it wasn't fair.
He relied on me, yet i felt weak and lost without him.
Ask me how i felt like this at the time and i couldn't tell you, cause to me i thought he was my prince charming. I thought he was protecting me from all the bad in the world, anything that was gonna hurt me, he could stop.
How ever he had an addiction to a negative way of life, he couldn't be happy with what he had, was always bored but yet didn't want to do anything.
Couldn’t see positives in anything.
He also had a very bad addiction with weed. he’d smoke it all day long, and if he didn't have it he couldn't function at all. ( he had an addictive personality)
But i was also addicted! i was addicted to him. He was my perfect drug.
I cant explain why i felt like i did, i was so in-love with him but i cant explain why i feel in-love, he didn't treat me very well so why. 
All i wanted to do was make him happy! i thought i could change him! i thought i could open his eyes to all the wonderful things the world had to offer, including me! i could offer him so much, i wanted to take care of him too!
It was like we were connected in some great power beyond the human heart.
I guess you could say it was like a soul mate, where in ever life are paths would cross! but he wasn't good for me.
His mind got worse and worse, every time i got the strength to say, I've had enough and i want to split from each other, he’d get angry with me and threaten to kill himself! He made me feel like everything was my fault! That i was the bad person, i wasn’t doing or treating him the way a women should treat her partner.
But i was lost, i tried so hard to make him happy....... i did things for him that i didn't want to do. Just because i thought it would make him happy.
A few months later it got really bad and i told him to see a doctor, after a bad melt down he had, he physically hurt me this time and broek things in the house, and mentally started to scare me. He’d hurt himself in-front of me, and scream at me, telling me he hated his life that it was worthless. Worse then hell!
The doctors put him on anti depressants and another completely body stopping drug for when he got angry but that made him worse.
This went on for month and month and got worse and worse.
The final strew was when he tried to kill himself, cause i said we could not go on like this......i called an ambulance and we ended up in the hospital. 
He took a overdose.
I sat there looking at him, and i felt sorry for him......not sorry for the life he has but because he was lost. what had made him into this monster? i felt so very sad holding his hand that he felt like he had to do this to get what he thought he needed. The control!
Life is so precious but he just tried to stop his, but a part of me felt like it was for notice, not cause he wanted to die! which in my eyes are far far worse.
What i didn't know at the time, it was all about the extents to what he’d go to get control!
So even thought i started to realise what was going on, he still had that control over me, i loved him, adored him and need the addiction from him.
he came back, but it didn't take long before it started! 
this is when the bad stuff really happened, he ran out of weed! the nasty mouth started, started saying nasty things to me, but i didn't argue back, i was too scared to argue with him or stand my ground as i didn't want to piss him off more than he was! He was getting pissed off with the kids laughing and shouting etc and went off to take a happy pill.
Booooom! he started going mental, pushing me about and shouted at the children! That was it! i saw it was gonna affect them and i had to stop it before it started! i stood up and said i want you out, i want you gone.He was so annoyed he went to the garage and started cutting himself with a Stanley knife and took loads of pills, which i didn't realise what he had done.
The kids were sleeping, i came down stairs to find him asleep on the sofa. I didn't see the cuts or known he had taken more pills, so i went to bed!
It was morning and i hardly slept, got the kids ready and he was sort of awake but mumbling that he’ll be gone when i came back, told me he was going to kill himself! before i got into it again i got the kids in the car and sat outside the school. This is when i rang the crisis team! told them what was going on and that i think he had taken pills again!
They sent for a ambulance and for my safety told me to say away from the house!
I agreed and took the kids into school, they didn’t know what was going on as I've hide it from them as much as i could.
Half hour had passed and i had a phone call from a police officer saying he was refusing to to hospital and that they are thinking of sectioning him! 
I was scared and wanted to come back and try and get him to go but before i said that the officer hung up the phone......
Another half hour had passed and i had another phone call, he had flipped out and assaulted 3 officer and had taken his air riffle to the garage!
they arrested him and took him to hospital under arrest!
I knew he’d be so angry with me right now for calling the crisis team but i didn’t have a choice...I didnt want him to hurt himself... hours passed and i didn’t hear anything, so i called the police station and they said that they were charging him and thinking of sectioning.
I said at that point, please don’t let him come back to my house cause i couldn’t handle dealing with it anymore, i felt like everything was crashing down around me!
The following morning i knew he’d call and i had to be brave, i couldn’t say no to him! All i wanted was for him to be himself again, like when we first got together, i held on and held on but it wasnt going to change and i knew this!
He called and asked me if i could pick him up and i explained i had called his mum and granddad the night before and told them about what was going on and i couldn’t have him here anymore! Once again he flipped out on the phone and ended up hanging up!
He went back to his hometown with his parents, and for days we spoke on the phone, he made me feel like everything was my fault and i felt guilty! he treated me like shit! and i felt guilty!!!!!!
It got to the stage he wouldn't speak to me anymore! I had a mental break down, i was missing him! why was i missing him, why did i love him after everything.? 
Why, why, why!
Well months passed, i had a few people around me that helped me pick myself back up and trust me, thing got so bad for me, i wouldn't go out and just couldn’t face society. I sat in a chair in my house and wouldn't move for days! only to feed and sort the children, then id slump myself back in my chair!
Even my father was worried about me and told me, hes never seen me as low as i was! He was worried about me and worried that id do something stupid myself!
I started talking to a old friend of mine months later, and we became close........
Male, yes but he treated me with so much respect and showed me a completely different way of life. he was so kind and caring.
Thing was going great, even though i thought about (him) most day, it got easier! i started to forget the pain that he had caused me!Then boom, out the blue he messaged me!
I had waited months to see that message! 
I remembered sitting there every day waiting for that message to come up on the phone saying his name! and then there it was!
He said that he had stayed away cause he knew what he did was wrong, that he did lots of bad things, and hes been trying to make himself better and sorting his head out!
He sounded so sincere!
Apart of me wanted to believe this so much and felt like dropping everything and run back to him! but once again i had this gut feeling! This feeling like he hasn’t changed, he isn’t better because what he did was just the person who he was......
He is a lost soul that cant be saved!
After a few days, i finally said no to myself! 
I’m happy now and i don’t want to change that! the person who i’m dating is wonderful, great with me and amazing with the kids! 
OK i don’t have that excitement i had with him but its better!
So i made the hard decision of telling him that i didn’t want to risk it anymore and not work things out! ! I did this as nice as i could! 
When he read the message i fully expected him to get angry again! and guess what i was right!
He started messaging really nasty stuff and then said once again he was going to kill himself!!!!!I was right! then it suddenly dawned on me.
Did i actually love him for him?
 No i didn’t
I was made to love him by the control he once had on me!
I messaged him and said he was very sad and i was right to say no! that if he wanted to end it then i didn’t want a involvement and i wont be messaging him any longer as i already had been through so much!
2 DAYS LATER.....he messaged me saying sorry!
I called him bluff! and that’s all it was!
The control he once had has gone! i was free, i am me!
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