#im not that worried anymore. ill like. actually have free time and all my afternoons and weekends offff itll be so NIIICE

[dykedragons]

whats up fuckers i got a job lined up for when schools out lets fucking goooooooooo!!!!!!

#ramblies #babys first job lmfao. third ever application and first ever interview and i fucking got the position!!!! what in the hell!!! gods favourit #its full time and i get to be planting n watering gardens in da summer heat #which i would be shitting bricks abt the hours if this was a handful of months ago but considering ive done 12 hour days at school. often #im not that worried anymore. ill like. actually have free time and all my afternoons and weekends offff itll be so NIIICE #i can hang out with my FRANDS!!!! AAAAAAAHHA im so excited to have free time again #im gonna go on so many adventures and make so many savings and do so much ART!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i mean its seasonal so ill have to look for somethin else when im done but thats ok ^_^ b HUGE confidence boost from this tbh #and who knows maybe over the winter i can just do freelance #but i know that i can commute to places in the winter too so thats not a problem.... ive been doin it for the last 6 months !! #AGGGHHG I LOVE HAVING. confidence and experience and being able to believe in myself.... so wonderful #i dont need to be so scared actually!! of everything!! i will simply adapt to the hardships and appreciate the good things #as i have always done..... #yes. it will be good. it will be good!!

[pbandjesse]

Today was a rainy, but pretty good, day. I slept a little better last night. Even if falling asleep hasnt been going well. I woke up in a good mood. James had put air in the tires and gas in the car. I gave him lots of hugs and headed out. 

There are to many cars on the road. But it was fine. I had a good ride in. And honestly it was just a nice morning. 

Some parts were quiet. It was rainy. I spent a lot of time today just enjoying my own company. When I first got there we were all sitting on the porch. I told them all about my powerpoint project and they thought I was very silly but excited that I was excited. 

I had some free time and some energy this morning though. So I went and changed into my rain boots, which have finally broken and absolutely need to be replaced now, and went down to homestead. Heather had asked the specialty teachers to work on cleaning that since we had some time in the afternoon. But I had time then so off I went. 

I listened to my podcast and I cleaned for about an hour and a half. It was kind of rainy and damp all day but it was hella gross down there. Everything was covered in mud. There was so much stuff just around. It was terrible. I started with picking up stuff off the ground. I didnt get the stuff under the picnic tables because honestly, it was to hard to bend that much. But I also had some of the campers help me collect all the containers and tubs down there so I could hose them off. Everything was going to go into storage and they couldnt go in covered in mud. But then everything was wet from the hose and I was very hot. Break time. 

I went and sat at arts and crafts for a few minutes. Caught my breath. Enjoyed the hammock. Enjoyed the rain sounds. And then went down to the office to check in with Heather. She was super surprised that I had been cleaning down there alone. Acted all proud of me. And my stupid money brain was like "Praise???" so of course I went back later in the day and kept cleaning and wiping things off and putting things in totes. Cj is going to come back on thursday and help sort but in the mean time at least they would be able to get everything away from the muddy area. 

Heather told me that after lunch I should go help with sandwiches. But I had time. So I went and finished setting up in art. Laid around. Had my lunch a little early. 

And went to figure out making sandwiches. But that went all wrong because apparently there was a change of plans, but no one told me. I made like 20 sandwiches when Elizabeth came in and was like. The fridge broke and we arent allowed to use this food anymore. Even though it was in a cooler that was still cold. Which seems silly to me but food rules are important. I just feel bad that I wasted the bread. And another change of plans was that I was supposed to be running trading post again. But I had asked! A few times! And was told no, youre doing sandwiches. So I was all confused. And a little unsettled. Im still unsettled honestly. I hate doing things wrong. I hate being wasteful. Doesnt feel good. 

But I headed up to trading post and it went just fine. It was healthy day and no one told me that so I had to get that stuff but everyone was quick to help me set it up. 

It took a little longer today, I dont know why but we were having trouble getting the kids up and in line. But it was done and I went to art to wait for my group. 

This group was tough. I knew that. Because they were the little ones and there were 13 of them. But it went well all things considered. We ran a little over time. And James, their counselor, was obviously stressed. But the kids were so excited that they made their little quilt square. But because of us running late I didnt get a picture. Ah well. It was still a lot of fun. 

Half their kids wanted to use the bathroom and then there was an early pick up and then their program space changed and it was a whole ordeal. I was barefoot but I told James I would take half his group to their next program. So I threw on some shoes and walked them down to the office. Where James met us and took over. 

I headed back to art and cleaned everything up. Took a small break. Okay a little bit longer. Wrapped in my blanket in my hammock. It was great. 

Im a little sad thinking about it only because Maryland is moving into phase three and I dont know what my job situation is going to look like going forward. Its hard. Im scared all the time, but being out at camp at least feels safe. I dont think I will feel safe in another job yet. And like none of my museums are going to open for field trips. And so its like. Fall at camp was already tentative. It was already like. Unsure. But Alexi is hoping it will at least be some time every week. And Im trying to stay positive but its hard and Im scared about what the fall will bring with covid and with the cold. I am going to try to get into my art more. Try to actually sell things? Well see what happens I guess. 

The rest of the afternoon was cleaning down at Homestead and then hanging out with the kids at the office until 5 when I headed out. 

I drove to Hunt Valley and went to the Marshals I discovered there. I didnt realize that the shopping center had a back side.  And I had excellent luck. I finally found a long sleeve black shirt. To replace my lost one. And I got some gum and a pretty makeup and a night time lotion. The cashier was very sweet. But I was starving and had to go find some dinner. 

I ended up going to wawa and ate a hoagie in my car. Just living my best life. I had a long and strange drive home. I got a light on my car that I had never seen before. But I looked it up and it seems like its not a big deal. It only flashed at me two different times and didnt stay on so its probably okay but Ill keep an eye on it. 

I got back here and was annoyed to find a cop in the alley. But Mr Will was also outside and it was nice to see him. He got one of those two screen phones, very fancy. He showed me how to look for jobs on facebook market place. Which I didnt need him to do but I enjoy him and his dad energy so I let him show me. He's great. I was also glad to see he was actually wearing a mask. I worry about him!!

I got in here and it was basically 7. I put stuff away and did the dishes. I got a piece of the cookies and cream cheese cake James made and played animal crossing. I cant believe its september but that brings changes to the island! New bugs and fish! I caught a soft shelled turtle! I played until 8 and then took a lovely long bath. 

And now I am just hanging out. I am tired and hoping I fall asleep easier tonight. I hope you all have a great night and a wonderful tomorrow!

[ironspiidey]

Superhero’s get Bullied Too- Chapter 8

Chapter: 1

Chapter 8: Tony Stark and Snooping Through Messages

Read on A03 

Harley looked up from his phone, hearing his uncle’s angry voice.

“What the fuck?” He muttered under his breath before getting up and opening his bedroom door.

“I need to know everything you know involving Thompson.”

Harley eyed him confused “Has age finally caught up to you? I’ve already told you everything I knew.”

“I’m not fucking around here Harley” he pushed his nephew to the side & made a gesture to the far wall. A projected screen of text messages between an unknown number and Peter showed.

Harley followed his uncle then frowned at the screen projected on his wall “What’s that?”

“This is a conversation between Peter and who I believe to be Flash Thompson. So this is the last time I will be asking, tell me everything you know in regards to him. “

Harley walked closer to the wall, swallowing as he read the messages. “What the fuck? When did this start.”

Tony turned fully and eyed his nephew “Wait so you’re telling me you had no idea of this?” He gestured again, and more screens appeared with more crude messages

Harley’s eyes widened “What do you take me for? If I knew what Peter was being put through Flash would be fucking dead!!!”

“Tone Harley.”

“Fuck this. He is so beyond dead. I don’t even care.”

Tony grabs Harley by the scruff of his neck. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Fucking let go of me. You’re not the boss of me Stark” Harley seethed and fought his uncle, trying to break free.

“Harley calm down!” when the teenager refused Tony hauled him back and grabbed his arms, putting them behind the teens head and holding tight “Stop it Harley. Harley!” Tony raised his voice as the blonde kept refusing to settle

“Fuck you. I hate you. Let me go!”

“Well I love you and I can do this all fucking day.” Tony snarled

“Boss?” Friday called out

“Yes Friday?” the older man answered gruffly, still restraining his nephew

“Incoming call from Karen Sir, Should I patch it to you directly or over loudspeaker?

“Let it come over loudspeaker.” Tony gripped the fighting teenager harder and Harley stopped fighting all together upon hearing about Peter

“Tony!”

“Hey Babyboy, been worried about you.”

“Yeah uh I’m sorry about that.” Peter laughed nervously “I uh forgot my phone.”

“Yeah I noticed.” Tony said dryly, giving his nephew a look that clearly meant don’t fuck up before letting him go

“Everything alright? You sound weird.”

“I’m fine, where are you?”

“Don’t lie to me Tony, I’m just at Aunt May’s. Calling you from my suit, but Friday probably already mentioned it.”

“I’m better now that I know you’re okay sweetheart. Your coming back right Pete?”

“Yeah of course, I just went out to visit May but got sidetracked. “

Tony frowned as Friday silently brought up Karen’s report of Peter’s Vitals “Peter...”

“What?”                                                                                                                    

“Did you get into a fight? Did Flash get to you?”

“What no. No! Flash? “Peter sounded confused “Why would you think Flash got to me?”

“I’m looking at your Vitals report Peter.”

“Dammit Karen, stop ratting me out to Friday. But still that doesn’t explain… Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Anthony Howard Stark, were you snooping in my room?”

Tony swallowed, noticing Peter’s tone didn’t sound angry. “It’s hardly your room anymore!”

“You hacked into my phone.” Peter stated.

“Well to be fair, Friday just helped me figure out your passcode, I didn’t even need to hack it.”

“She helped you?”

“I thought it was your birthday but Friday told me to try something else and it worked.” Tony shrugged at Harley’s eye roll.

“Whatever, either way you didn’t need to go into my phone!”

“Apparently I did!! Because you weren’t about to be 100% truthful!” Tony started to raise his voice

“That doesn’t mean you get the right to go through my shit!”

“Yes it does! Peter Jesus Christ don’t you see that he could seriously fucking hurt you. “

“I’m not doing this now. Imma go.”

“Peter wait! Let me come get you.”

“I’m not planning to leave yet.”

“Well let me come get you in an hour.” Tony asked, knowing how much Peter hates it when Tony raises his voice and despite what most people think, Tony hates it too.

“I think I need to be alone a bit Tony.”

“But you’re still coming home?” he asked nervously

Peter sighed “Yes. Regardless of you being an utter ass, I still love you so yes I’ll be home.”

Harley smirked “Well how about Happy? He could pick you up.”

“Harley? Wait. You’ve had me on speaker this whole time?”

Tony ignored Peter’s question. “So Happy can pick you up in an hour.”

Peter sighed again “Yeah have him pick me up then. But this isn’t over Tony. Bye Harley. Bye Tony.”

“See ya in a bit Parker.” Harley said at the same time as Tony said “Love you Petey.”

Which made Harley shake his head. His uncle really didn’t know when to leave a person alone

“Love you too. I’m hanging up now.”

Tony looked at his nephew when the call disconnected “What?”

“You really like Peter don’t you Tony?” Harley walked over and sat down on the bed

Tony followed Harley and pulled the desk chair closer to the bed. Sitting down on it he said softly “Yeah I kind of do like a lot.”

“You get crazy when it comes to people you care about.” The blonde stated

Tony licked his lips but nodded. “Yep and hopefully I didn’t just scare him away.”

“I know he wouldn’t want me to tell you this but Uncle I doubt you could scare Peter Parker away the hardest you could try.”

Tony rolled his eyes “You don’t need to flatter me with bullshit Harley.”

Harley leaned forward to look Tony dead in the eye. “This isn’t bullshit. I know for a fact he’s in love with you. Like the marrying kind of love. He doesn’t tell you or me what goes on because he knows Flash’s dad works for you and you would stop at nothing to teach Flash a lesson. Peter doesn’t want anyone to pay for some idiots actions by proxy. “

Tony looked at his nephew for a minute before speaking “When did you become so wise nephew.”

Harley shrugged then looked at the text messages on the wall “When did these start anyway.”

Tony looked at the conversations and went between pages with a flick of his wrist “The first ones in this conversation start 2 months ago.”

“Months? I’ve only known about Flash being a complete dick since a few weeks after you got together. And these are only what he has left on his phone”

Tony raised an eyebrow “What do you mean only what’s left?

“I know Flash was a bit of an ass to Peter for years. Something had to have happened to make him switch from basic dickness to this shit.” Harley states.

Tony eyes widen “Why didn’t I think of this sooner. Friday?”

“Yes boss?”

“Scan Peter’s phone for deleted messages from that unknown number. Before you try and say anything, this is for his safety.”

“May I call Ms. Potts for confirmation as she also had the protection of privacy protocol in place?”

Harley snorted, knowing full well how Pepper would react to their snooping.

Peter shook his head as he pulled his mask off. Heading back into the living room, he had walked into the hallway to talk to Tony and clearly that was a good idea. He took a deep breath then forced a smile on his face as he walked in.

“All good?” May asked from the couch

Peter nodded. “Yeah they were worried about me but it’s all good now.”

“They’re not the only ones worried.”

“Whatcha mean?” Peter asked as he sat down beside her.

May tilted her phone screen so both of them could see it. There were Facebook messages from both MJ & Ned.  May tapped on Ned’s chat bubble “See?”

Peter read through the messages then leaned ahead and pressed on MJ’s chat bubble and shook his head “They’re like the FBI.”

“Should I be worried Peter?”

“Oh no, not even. Flash was bugging me again and I just told him how it was and I haven’t had a chance to really tell em about it”

May nodded in understanding. “So they’re just hearing gossip from other kids?”

“Exactly.”

“Shouldn’t you call them then?”

“It’s okay, they’ll be fine till I get back to the tower. “

“Peter…”

“What? I’m here to see you not spend all afternoon yaking off to my friends.” Peter shrugged

May gave him a knowing look “But you were quick as shit to tell Tony Stark where you were. “

Peter blushed “And?”

“And from Ned’s messages you left school early with Harley. But your best friends have no idea what’s going on. MJ even told me she called Harley.”

“May its fine, I’m fine. I swear. Nerds honor.” Peter raised his hand and made the Spock symbol.

May shook her head and handed him her phone “Message them from my Facebook at least, I’ll go crazy if I have to deal with much more of Ned’s mothering.” She got up “How’s some cocoa and Greys Anatomy sound for a bit?”

“Fine! And sounds great, don’t forget the marshmallows.” Peter took her phone and created a group chat with MJ and Ned

M: Hey guys Its Peter, Im alive and well. I left my phone at the tower and am with aunt may! You guys are like the fbi, you don’t need to worry so much.

N: DUDE OMG WHY ARE YOU USING MAY’S PHONE. DID SOMETHING HAPPEN HARLEY WOULDN’T TELL MJ ANYTHING

MJ: calm down weirdo, glad your okay loser. Seriously tho what happened to your phone? You don’t go anywhere wo it.

M: Wow ned nice yelling at me through texts. I just came home and left my phone back @ the tower. I was just beyond done with today and had some much needed Chinese. Sorry if Harley gave yall a tough time

N: sorry dude just worry about you when you disappear, glad your alright . chill soon?

M: All is good guys. Ill message you later tonight, mays got hot cocoa and greys to watch.

MJ: oooh hot cocoa. Enjoy loser.

N: Jeallllous dude. Ttyl

Peter closed the chats and deleted them. “Hey May. I’m just going to use your phone to tell Mr. Stark not to send Happy out for another hour or two okay?”

May walks in with two hot steaming cups of homemade hot cocoa. “Actually, you can just text happy yourself.”

Peter raised an eyebrow “Text Happy?”

“Yeah he’s the second conversation. Hand me my phone.” She passed him one of the mugs as he handed her the phone.

May sat down beside her nephew then pulled up her text app, clicking on her second conversation which was with one Happy Hogan.

Peter watched her curiously. “What are you doing texting Happy?”

May almost blushed. “I’m allowed to have friends Peter.”

“Yeah of course but Happy?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Well he’s Mr. Stark’s driver!”

She raised an eyebrow “and your point? You don’t see me prodding you about being around a man half your age in almost all your spare time!”

Peter looked at her and debating on saying more but she was right. While May didn’t know fully just what went on during his time with Iron man. She was exceptionally cool about it.. He let him come and go from the apartment to the tower without much fuss. While it really weirded him out the thought of Happy and his aunt spending time together. She did deserve someone, especially a nice someone. After Uncle Ben passed away there hadn’t been a lot of successful suitors so who was he to judge.

Peter smiled “Well I’m happy for you then.”

May smirked and shoved him “Don’t be so excited, we’re just talking. We haven’t gone on a date yet. “

“Well do it!! Happy is a standup guy and he puts up with Harley and Mr. Starks antics so we know he can handle you.”

May flicks his hear “rude. Anyways! What do you want me to tell Happy.”

Peter started laughing and took a sip of his drink “Just tell him we’re going to watch an episode or two of Greys. Then I’ll be ready.”

May nods and types for a moment before sitting her phone down on the table. She picked up the tv remote and got Netflix started.

“Ready for some Mcdreamy time?”

“Always” Peter said with a grin.

#starker #my fic #harley keener is a good bro #tony is protective of his Petey #flash is a dick #superheros get bullied too #new chapter #ironspiidey writes #A03 #tony stark x peter parker #tony snoops #friday is sassy #mine #may parker #ned and mj are like the fbi

[niigoki]

TWICE title: we’re a mess (let’s finish what we started) - Chapter 10 pairing: NaMo, MiMo, Saida, JeongMi, 2yeon, Chaeyu

Read on Ao3 or AFF

If Charles Darwin himself came to Im Nayeon with scientific proof that being awake for 24 hours relying on pure caffeine was unhealthy for your body and could cause numerous illnesses that would hinder the path for humanity’s evolution, she would look at him in the eyes, and call bullshit.

Nayeon was positive that coffee had been invented by a miracle-worker, and their sole purpose on this Earth was to give young adults the key to surviving increasingly difficult lives. The beverage was bitter, yes, and maybe it was making her entire body shake with the strength of a small-scale earthquake, but when she thought about the positive aspects of not having to sleep anymore, it didn’t feel so bad.

Nayeon had nine days to practice her singing, dancing, and memorize the dialogue for her musical and her commercials – those tasks became much less stressful when she had 8 extra hours her day to do so.

Who needs sleep, anyway?

“Nayeon, you’re eating your script.” The voice of her co-star sounded distant and reverberant, even though she was right by her side. Probably nothing Nayeon should concern herself about.

“Yes, Jennie, I need to get this as soon as possible.” Nayeon’s eyes were unfocused as she munched on her salad.

“No, I mean you’re literally biting a piece of your goddamn script.” Jennie removed what Nayeon thought was a leaf of lettuce out of her mouth, making her snap out of her dissociating state. Looking down, she saw the tip of paper wet and crumbled.

“Oh.” Nayeon blinked slowly, paused, then used her fork to get an actual leaf of lettuce. “I see.”

“Girl, are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful. Thank you for asking.”

“Yeah, that’s a no, then.”

Jennie was a sweet girl, and one of the first friends Nayeon made when she got into the Drama Club. She was pretty, dedicated, and the best dancer in the cast, everybody knew it. When their first play was announced, Nayeon and Jennie fought over the main role with blood, sweat and tears, but in the end, no one could really measure up to Nayeon’s talent. Jennie didn’t resent her for that, however, and only tried to get closer to her, to get some tips on acting. Nayeon felt incredibly relieved by that – other girls had eyed her with envy the first time Mr. Kwon had complimented her, but not Jennie. The two were close friends now, and supported each other on a daily basis.

However, Jennie was not part of the group of nine from high school, so she didn’t know Nayeon nearly well enough to realize when the girl was truly troubled; the fact that she did notice something was wrong was telling.

“I’m just focused on the task at hand,” Nayeon replied in a monotone, finishing her late lunch. It was three in the afternoon, and she had ordered delivery – eating backstage was prohibited, but everyone did it anyway.

“I could put my groceries in the bags under your eyes, honey,” Jennie said, sass dripping from her voice. “Are you resting properly?”

“Yes, I’m sleeping fine,” Nayeon lied, putting her utensils down. Eating while reading her lines had become a habit, so she didn’t lift her gaze. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You know that overexerting yourself won’t help, right?”

“Jennie,” she finally looked up, one hand curled into a fist on the table. “I can do this.”

The way the words had come out was strange, forced, as if Nayeon was talking to that awful voice inside her head. As usual, she needed to convince herself before she could convince anyone else.

And, as usual, she was failing at the task. But that was okay, because Nayeon was good at pretending.

“I never said you couldn’t.” Jennie was calm despite the outburst. “We all know you can. Hell, you’re good enough that we all collectively agreed that the main role should’ve gone to you, do you know how hard that is to accomplish?” Her impish smirk was a welcome sight in the middle of the chaos.

Nayeon chuckled a bit at that. “I know.”

The girl reached to rub her shoulder. “Don’t overdo it, okay?”

The more people worried about her, the more undeserving of their worries Nayeon felt. She grinned with her teeth, but it was a soulless expression. “I’ll do my best.”

After wiping her mouth and throwing away the plastic container and utensils, Nayeon got up and grabbed her bag, making her way towards the exit.

“Where are you going?” Jennie asked. “I thought you were going to rehearse.”

“I am,” Nayeon had one foot out of the door by the time she processed the question. “I need to practice the dance moves.”

It was a musical, after all.

Jennie waved her goodbye and told her to be careful, and Nayeon left the theater building. Her legs felt heavy, and the scorching sun on the way to the main building burned the back of her head with ridiculous intensity. It felt like she was walking on molten lava, and she was sure that she was seeing mirages in the distance. Nayeon blinked quickly, rubbed her eyes, and kept pressing on.

Entering the building was a relief; as soon as people stepped in, they could feel the comfortable chilliness of the air-conditioner. Nayeon paused for a second, a sudden dizziness attacking her sense of balance, and she leaned on a wall. She held her head, wiping the sweat out of her forehead with a groan.

“It’s just the change of temperature,” Nayeon whispered to herself. “You’re okay. Move on.”

She urged her legs to walk again, but there was a delay in her thoughts. Where was she going again?

Oh, right, the dance studio.

Nayeon frowned, trying to remember where it was located. She would have to go downstairs; her main concern right now was not falling face-first on the floor.

“Move.” She gritted her teeth, and finally, with much effort, started walking again, still touching her hand on the wall.

Her fingers slid on the surface, and it was a nice, raspy texture. The building was old, and everything in there was worn out; Nayeon worried that one day the place would just fall apart. The equipment used in the classrooms got heavier by the year, and she wasn’t sure that the wooden floors could take the weight.

She didn’t know why she was suddenly concerned about such trivial problems. Maybe it was to distract herself from her other, more pressing matters.

Was this her way of protecting herself from the thousands of turbulent thoughts going on in her brain? If so, Nayeon thought, then I’m good at not self-destructing.

“Either that, or I’m going crazy.” She paused. “I’m talking to myself. Wonderful.”

Nayeon finally reached the corridor and was about to turn, when someone bumped into her. With her legs already weakened and her body pretty much in another plane of existence by that point, Nayeon couldn’t hold on, and fell backwards. She closed her eyes and waited for the impact, but a strong arm wrapped around her torso, stopping her demise.

“I’m sorry!” That voice was familiar.

Nayeon opened her eyes, then rolled them. “Oh, great.”

Sleep-deprived Nayeon, as it turns out, had no filter.

Jeongyeon stared at her, blinking, then straightened both of them up, letting her go. “Good morning to you, too.” And because they’ve known each other for too long, Jeongyeon immediately frowned when she noticed her ex-girlfriend’s pale face. “Wow, are you okay?”

“Creative.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, just—” Nayeon pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Everyone’s been asking me that lately. You, Jennie, Jihyo, Mr. Kwon. I’m fine. Can we move past this?”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, and the atmosphere was awkward. Jeongyeon ruffled her blonde locks. “Fine, sorry I asked.”

“Ok, great.” She didn’t want to face the her right now, because looking at Jeongyeon’s loose shirt and eyes reminded her of how beautiful she was at the party, which reminded her of the kiss, which reminded her of her lies, which reminded her of the reason she was lying, which reminded her of her feelings for—

“I don’t have time for this,” Nayeon shook her head and walked past the girl. “I need to go.”

“Nayeon.” Jeongyeon grabbed her wrist gently, but Nayeon broke free with a violent tug.

“Don’t touch me.”

It was hostile. It was wrong. Saying that to Jeongyeon felt wrong, and Nayeon regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

But instead of feeling hurt and afraid, Jeongyeon just put both her hands up calmly. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“No, I didn’t—” Nayeon’s heart was beating out of her ribcage. “I didn’t mean that. Not in that way.”

“I know.” A small smile made its way to Jeongyeon’s face. “You’re stressed. I get it.”

“Yeah,” Nayeon looked down, ashamed, then closed her eyes with a sigh. “I’m sorry, either way.” She opened them again, and allowed herself to stare at the girl for a second.

Jeongyeon’s shirt was too big for her, which was a cute look, but it kept exposing one shoulder; looking at it, Nayeon noticed something. Her gaze fell on slight crescent marks on her bare skin – four of them, lined up in a row. She frowned. “What’s that?”

“Huh?” Jeongyeon tilted her head to the side and when Nayeon pointed with her head, she looked down, then froze, pulling her collar back up. “Oh. That.”

There was no explanation for a moment, and Jeongyeon was averting her eyes, and that’s how Nayeon just knew. She was well familiar with that body language; the fidgety stance, the diminutive posture, as if she’d been caught committing a crime, the way Jeongyeon tensed almost imperceptibly – but Nayeon noticed it.

She noticed everything about Jeongyeon.

“…Oh.” Was all Nayeon said in return.

“That’s… something I need to talk to you about.”

“No. Just—” Exhaustion washed over her, and she couldn’t afford that right now. “I have a musical in nine days, followed by a day-long recording of five commercials that will really boost my chances for a profession in the area, and I can’t—” She stopped to breathe; it was like her lung capacity had been cut in half. “I can’t deal with… this, right now, on top of everything.”

“Nayeon…”

“Jeong, please. I can’t have my career falling apart, too.”

‘It’s all I have,’ crossed her mind.

She didn’t wait for Jeongyeon to reply, and finally left the corridor. The stairs felt wobbly under her feet, but she held on with all she had to the handrail, running downstairs in auto-pilot. The lower level of the building felt colder than usual, and it echoed with each step as she finally got to the studios.

Nayeon reached for the door handle, but it was like her hand passed right through it – a ghost filled with regret and pain. That’s when she realized that everything was blurry. Was she going to faint?

No, that wasn’t it. Nayeon felt wetness on her cheek and forcefully rubbed her eyes, slapping her face in the process. “Don’t cry. Stop crying. I’m not crying.”

Can you blame her for finding happiness somewhere else? With someone else?

“Go away. I’m not dealing with you, either.” She was glad that no one was around to hear her monologues. Maybe she was losing her mind.

You want to know, don’t you?

“No, I don’t.”

Lying to others might work, but lying to yourself just makes you look pathetic.

With another push, Nayeon finally touched the door, and snorted. “Fuck off.”

She rather liked scoffing at her inner voice.

She didn’t like thinking about Jeongyeon fucking someone else.

She was such a hypocrite.

  --

   Momo dragged her feet across the classroom, not in the slightest mood for her History of Dance class.

She’d been grumpy. Her roommate was passively pissing her off, one of her best friends was breaking her own heart, and her crush was acting strangely. Not to mention her own convoluted feelings that she’d been trying to avoid lately.

Momo was a wreck. She had wolfed down an entire plate of chocolate.

She couldn’t bail on class, however, seeing as she’d always had a hard time with the subject and her grades had been dangerously low throughout the semester. Fortunately for her, there was something about this snooze-fest of a course that made her whole day worthwhile.

When she spotted her target, Momo smiled, and approached her from behind.

“Guess who,” she whispered in Mina’s ear, covering her eyes with one hand. Mina jumped, startled, but soon relaxed, pressing her back against her best friend’s front.

“Momoring.” Mina had this way of calling her name that made Momo smile; perhaps it was the childhood memories attached.

“You’re no fun,” Momo teased, letting her go.

Mina turned to her with the brightest smile. “You’re too obvious.”

“Am I?” That’s when Momo noticed her expression. “You’re looking happy.”

“…I am,” Mina said, biting her lip and looking down. “Actually, I need to talk to you. Sana, too.”

The sudden shift in the mood was heavy, and Momo felt like something was either terribly wrong, or terribly right. She had a hunch, but the prospect of her being right made her stomach turn.

“What is it?”

Mina shook her head. “Later.”

At that point, the teacher walked in, yelling for everyone to sit down. Momo huffed, annoyed, but followed Mina to their seats.

The way they positioned themselves was the same ever since they could remember – Mina sat in front, and Momo sat behind her. Momo joked that she liked this arrangement, because this way she could always have her back; Mina would only roll her eyes, but smiled nonetheless.

It was cheesy, but when it came to the girl in front of her, Momo couldn’t help herself.

Mina loved the feeling of being protected. She grew up with a loving, wealthy family, but she’d always been introverted by nature. Speaking up was hard, so she hardly ever initiated a conversation with strangers; everyone else was always too loud. It was rare for her to feel welcomed anywhere.

Fortunately, as fate would have it, Momo and Sana walked into her life when she was very young. The two girls were also noisy like the other kids, but when they noticed Mina playing all alone, they decided that they would never allow her to feel left out again.

The two had kept their promise – they made Mina feel so safe. And, even though both had their own way of accomplishing that, Momo had always stood out.

They knew that Sana was more perceptive than she let on, but she also needed guidance for the most part. Momo, on the other hand, was always there, paying attention, making sure that Sana wouldn’t get lost on their way to the new school when they moved to the city, or holding Mina’s arm when it snowed so she wouldn’t trip. All these little gestures made Momo incredibly endearing in Mina’s eyes. She was glad to have someone like her by her side for so long.

When Mina first confessed that she was crushing on Jeongyeon, Momo made sure to be there for her every time she felt heartbroken. She would crash at Mina’s house suddenly with funny movies and candy in hands; she would ask her out on ‘friend dates’ when Jeongyeon and Nayeon were too busy to hang out with them; she danced with her at prom to distract her from the sadness of a hopeless crush. Momo had always been there, one way or another.

The thought made Momo’s heart skip a beat, apprehension taking its place inside her.

She leaned across her desk, reaching for Mina’s shoulders in front of her, and wrapping her arms around her loosely as the teacher spoke. Mina turned her head slightly, questioning, but Momo just traced her fingers on the girl’s collarbones softly. “Nothing. I just missed you, is all.”

She felt Mina’s fingers lacing with hers. “I missed you too.”

“Are you okay?”

“I am.”

Momo took a deep breath. “…Can’t you tell me your thing now?”

“Not now,” Mina rubbed Momo’s knuckles with her thumb. “Things are okay, though. Promise.”

Suddenly Mina’s cellphone vibrated, and she let go of Momo’s hands to check. The brunette couldn’t see who was texting her, but by the way Mina’s lips curled in an affectionate smile, she could guess.

Momo removed her hands and buried her head on her arms, closing her eyes.

She wanted to be wrong about this.

Class went by as smoothly as possible with Momo stealing glances at Mina’s constant lack of attention – it was like her phone was her lifeline, and whoever was talking to her had the answers to the mysteries of the universe. Mina wouldn’t drop the thing for one second, and the teacher actually scolded her for it at some point.

When the bell finally rang, the two got up. Mina put her phone in her bag, finally, and Momo eyed her. “Let’s go?”

“Yes.”

They left the building side by side, the sun hot in their heads. Momo wanted to hold her hand a little, but she didn’t. “Are we getting Sana?”

“She’s at the dorm already.”

“Oh, good.”

Silence followed, then Momo spoke again. “So… how’s your secret project going?”

“Oh, it’s— it’s almost finished.” There was stutter in her voice, and that didn’t go by unnoticed. “You’ll see it soon.”

“Right,” Momo blinked, a bit nervously. She put her hands on her pockets. “It’s hot today.”

“Very.”

The moment she had to start small talk to keep chatting with her best friend, Momo sighed. Something told her that what Mina was going to tell them was going to be life-changing.

Arriving at her room, Mina knocked on the door slightly, then opened it. Sana was sitting on their desk reading, and lifted her head at the sound. When she spotted her two best friends, she smiled, jumping out of the chair, and throwing her arms around Momo’s shoulders. “You didn’t drop out of college!”

Momo held her in place, laughing. “Excuse me?”

“I haven’t seen you in what, a week?” The girl placed a loud, sloppy kiss on Momo’s cheek, prompting her to drop Sana and wipe her face with the back of her hand.

“Ew, Sana!”

“Just one more!”

The two struggled for a while, with Sana tiptoeing to try and kiss every reachable part of Momo’s face, and Mina laughed. For a second, everything reminded her of their childhood days, with no problems and no complex feelings involved. She wished things weren’t so complicated.

Sana detached herself from Momo after several failed attempts, and the three girls finally sat on Mina’s bed, facing each other. Momo took off her shoes so she could be more comfortable, and prepared herself for whatever was coming. “Alright, we’re all here. What is it?”

Mina looked at the two girls for a moment, thinking long and hard about her words. She had no idea what Sana’s reaction was going to be, but she was sure that Momo would be shocked – especially after everything they had witnessed. However, Mina hoped that after mulling it over, Momo would understand, and be happy for her.

“…Okay,” Mina would go straight to the point, then. “Yesterday, something happened. Between… Jeongyeon and I.”

The two girls were quiet, processing that simple sentence. Mina saw Momo slowly clenching the sheet underneath them, then asking. “Something?”

“Yeah. We…” She would start slowly. “We kissed.”

“What??” Sana was fast, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. “You… you finally… how?!”

Momo was unusually quiet, and that scared Mina the most. But she did her best to answer Sana first. “My secret project… I was actually spending time with her, helping her with a short movie. Jeongyeon asked me to be her actress.”

“Nayeon is an actress.” Momo spit. That hurt Mina absurdly.

One fact about Hirai Momo: she didn’t have the best handle on her inhibitions when her temper was triggered—it was painfully apparent when something angered her. Words left her mouth without a second thought, and her honest feelings radiated through her every pore. She was unable to put up a front, and that could make her incredibly intimidating at times. Mina and Sana were used to it – and yet, at this moment, Mina felt like she had been struck right in the chest.

“Well, she asked me, instead,” Mina replied, trying to keep calm. She sort of expected a startled reaction.

“Interesting.”

“Momo?” Sana frowned at her.

“Go on.” Momo leaned back, crossing her arms.

“…Well, anyway,” Mina breathed out. “We’ve been spending time together, and I was tired of not doing anything, so… I finally did something.” She looked at Momo. “You always told me I should tell her soon, right?”

Momo threw her head back with a scoff. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am serious.” Mina was starting to feel defensive. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Why am I—” Momo couldn’t believe her ears. “No, you know what, go on. You two kissed, and then what?”

Sana kept moving her gaze from Mina to Momo, a bit anxious about all this.

“Well, she kissed me back. And then we…”

“You what?”

That was the hardest part, and Momo’s behavior wasn’t helping.

On second thought, however, maybe she was helping, because her childish actions compelled Mina to just throw it out there. “Then we slept together.”

The silence was jarring. Mina felt a blush crawling up her neck, but didn’t avert her eyes from Momo’s stare. A thousand emotions seemed to cross her face at that moment; shock, confusion, anger.

Pain.

“You did wha—”

“Hold the fuck on,” Sana interrupted, concerned about other things – and when she became curious, nothing in the world could stop her from getting her answer. “Where?! It wasn’t here,” She pointed at Momo. “It wasn’t in her room, either… Myoui Mina, where did you lose your virginity??”

It would’ve been funny if both girls weren’t towering over her threateningly. “Um… at the recording studio…”

“Holy shit.”

“Fuck that, you lost your virginity to Jeongyeon?!” Momo leaned forward, almost grabbing Mina’s shoulders. “How— That’s—”

“That’s what?” Mina challenged.

“I’m gonna kill her.”

“What, why?” This ticked Mina off. “It was great, for your information.”

Momo winced. The mood was hostile, but Sana couldn’t keep a snort in. She needed to know so many things at the same time, that her mouth wasn’t keeping up with her brain. “The studio— So you did it standing up? Or was it on a chair, or… no, wait, did she go down on you or was it just fingers?”

“Sana!” Momo and Mina interrupted their little war to scold their other friend.

“Excuse me, Mina just had her first time, I need details.”

“No, you don’t.” Mina’s face was beet red. “That’s not even the point!”

“I told you everything when I lost mine!”

“Because you wanted to, literally no one asked.” Momo groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t want to know.”

“I really don’t.” There was truth in her words, and hurt in it as well. So Momo was right about her hunch, and it stung like a bitch. She had no idea how she would be able to face Jeongyeon from now on knowing that she did… things with her best friend.

Right after kissing her ex-girlfriend, too. The anger inside her was growing rapidly, beginning to burst at the seams.

“Anyway, that was the thing I needed to tell you.” Mina tried to finish this awkward conversation, but she knew that this topic wasn’t going to go away for a long time. Or at least until she answered all of Sana’s inquiries.

“…Fine. So, what are you now? You and Jeongyeon.” Momo asked, forcing the question out of her throat. She didn’t want to hear anything else about this, but she couldn’t leave the room without knowing all the details. This was her best friend, and even though she was mad, making sure Mina wasn’t hurt came first.

“I don’t… I don’t know.” Mina answered, looking down.

“Oh, you don’t know?” Momo became hostile again.

“Why are you yelling at me? I thought you’d be—”

“What? Happy for you? Mina, she lied.”

“We all lied, Momo.”

“Oh, and that somehow makes it better?!” Momo was fuming.

“Momo, please, just calm down for a second.” Sana intervened, having snapped out of her giddy state.

She hated to see the two of them fighting, but she understood the reason. Mina had told her that Jeongyeon and Nayeon had kissed at the party, so it really didn’t make sense for that to have happened. She also knew how overprotective Momo was, so the explosive reaction wasn’t a surprise either. Now, adding Momo’s feelings for Nayeon in the mix, things got a lot more complicated. Sana didn’t want to take sides.

“No, don’t tell me to calm down!” Momo got up from the bed, and paced around the room. She looked back at Mina. “Have you considered Nayeon’s feelings about this? At all?���

“Nayeon’s feelings? Momo, they broke up years ago!”

“They kissed last week.”

“If it had meant anything, Jeongyeon wouldn’t have lied!”

“If Nayeon meant anything to either of you, you wouldn’t be lying to her either!”

That implication was heavy, and Mina stopped, feeling extremely hurt. Sana got up as well, placing one hand on Momo’s shoulder to ease her, and another on Mina’s arm. “Guys, please. Yelling won’t solve anything.”

Mina was also angry, but unlike Momo, she would never direct it at her. It felt like Momo had something against her happiness suddenly, and Mina didn’t understand why she couldn’t accept that maybe Jeongyeon had moved on. She’s wanted this for so long, and Momo had always been supportive of her, so why was she attacking her like this now?

“I thought you, out of everyone, would be happy for me,” Mina said in a low voice, breaking the silence.

“Don’t do this,” Momo said, her emotional exhaustion finally catching up with her.

“You’ve always told me to keep trying, to confess to her soon, to… to stop running away from this. I finally did, and now you’re angry? I don’t understand.”

“I do want you to be happy, but not if…!” Momo stopped, catching her tongue before she said something that she wouldn’t be able to take back. Unfortunately for her, Mina knew her too well.

“…Not if it gets in the way of Nayeon’s happiness. Is that it?”

The pain in her tone was clear, and to think that Momo had caused this – it was killing her. Yes, she did want Mina to be happy with the girl she loved, but that was before Nayeon exposed her still-lingering feelings for her ex-girlfriend. Things were too fresh, everything was surrounded by lies; Jeongyeon might’ve moved on, but Nayeon clearly hasn’t.

Picturing Nayeon’s reaction to the news created a crevice inside Momo’s heart.

Hearing Mina’s broken-hearted pleas punctured her soul.

Momo wanted to protect both of them, equally.

She was going crazy.

“I can’t be here right now,” Momo said, finally, grabbing her shoes.

“Momo, wait.” Sana was still nervous; she flickered her eyes towards Mina. “Let’s talk about this.”

“Just let her go,” Mina mumbled, hugging her legs against her chest and looking to the opposite direction.

Momo pretended not to hear. Once she finally put on her shoes, she grabbed her bag and stormed off the room, slamming the door on her way out.

Mina’s eyes started stinging with unshed tears, and she rubbed them strongly. To think that her best friend, the person who grew up with her, and who knew every single thing about her life, cared more about Nayeon than her – that was worse than being rejected by Jeongyeon. Mina felt utterly betrayed.

Momo needed to cool down. She walked fast, making her way to the main building again.

Dancing always helped her let off steam.

  --

  “Ouch, ouch, ouch, careful, please…!” Chaeyoung whined, the coldness of the ice pack surrounding her broken knuckles and hurting like hell.

“If you would just stay still,” Tzuyu uttered, holding her friend’s hand carefully. She’d been helping with Chaeyoung’s healing process as soon as the girl walked into their dorm yesterday and confessed to her roommates what she’d done. Dahyun got worried at first, but it didn’t take long for her to make a joke out of the situation – Chaeyoung appreciated it. Tzuyu, however, was taking this a lot more seriously than people realized.

“Sorry,” Chaeyoung replied, relaxing now that the pack was in effect. “It’s hard to get used to this.”

“You should be more careful, then.”

“Yeah… I will.”

They kept in silence and Chaeyoung sighed internally. Tzuyu had been acting a bit cold towards her, and she didn’t know why; it was like they were treading on thin ice around each other, and it made Chaeyoung’s chest feel tight. It was triggering her anxiety.

She needed to ask her what was going on.

“Tzuyu, is there—”

The TV suddenly made an unbearably loud noise and all the three girls in the room jumped out of their beds. Dahyun immediately turned down the volume, a hand on her chest. “Who left the volume up?”

“Oh, that was me. Sorry.” Tzuyu raised one hand, embarrassed. “I was watching a live stream on ocean creatures. Aquatic organisms are pretty quiet.”

“…Tzuyu, these live streams have no sound.” Dahyun said, an eyebrow raised.

“Yes, I figured that out after pressing my ear to the TV for about five minutes.”

Chaeyoung crouched to grab the ice pack that had fallen on the floor, but took her sweet time getting up. She buried her face on her good hand, trying her hardest not to laugh, shoulders shaking with the effort. Tzuyu was so absurdly cute – Chaeyoung’s heart couldn’t handle it. It was like tiny fireworks exploded inside of her.

“Chaengie?” Tzuyu finally realized that her tiny friend was still on the floor.

“Yes, I’m okay.” Chaeyoung replied, getting up in a flash. She breathed in, sat back down, and placed the pack back on her hand.

The three girls rested their backs against the headboard as Dahyun skipped through the channels, and eventually decided to pull out the Netflix. Chaeyoung looked at her hand and tried to move her fingers slightly. She didn’t get so far, a harsh sting pulsating through her skin every time she moved the broken knuckles, so she sighed.

She side-eyed Tzuyu, then moved her gaze down to the girl’s hand. She wanted to hold it, like she usually did when they watched movies, but she couldn’t right now because Tzuyu was on her right side. That was the worst part of her injury so far.

“That’s a lot of romantic comedies on your queue,” Tzuyu said suddenly, looking at Dahyun.

“Huh?” The girl couldn’t keep a straight face for the life of her, and blushed nervously. “Oh, yes. I’ve been into them lately. You know. Just… silly stuff. To laugh about.”

Chaeyoung caught on the stuttering tone immediately and exchanged a look with Tzuyu. “Oh, really?”

“Yes.”

“So sci-fi and trashy horror movies don’t work anymore? You know, to make you laugh.” Chaeyoung smirked.

“I never said that.”

“Look, she even has dramas lined up!” Tzuyu joined in the teasing.

“You’re right, she does.”

“When was the last time Dahyun watched a cheesy drama?”

“Hmm… let me think. Was it back in middle school, when she thought she was crushing on that boy who gave her a carrot from his lunch box?”

“I think it was.”

“Listen,” Dahyun interrupted. “I’m just in a mood, okay?”

“Oh, we know,” Chaeyoung poked her tongue out through her smile. “A mood, alright.”

“Ugh, you’re unbelievable,” Dahyun was about to go back to the task at hand when her cellphone vibrated. She took it out of her pocket and read it, a huge smile plastered on her face. “And now you’re unbelievably alone.” Dahyun got up, putting on her shoes.

“Oh, go ahead, ditch us for your girlfriend,” Chaeyoung was still in a joking mood, but when she realized what that implied, she stopped completely – she absolutely forgot about Sana’s feelings for her stupid roommate. What if Dahyun was seeing someone else? That would definitely crush Sana’s spirit even more.

“She’s not my—” Dahyun threw her hands in the air. “I mean, it’s not what you’re thinking.”

Chaeyoung sat back up. “Wait, you’re actually seeing someone?”

“I’m just gonna go see Sana, alright?”

“Oh.” That was new. “Wait. As in… just hang out, or…”

Dahyun groaned loudly, letting go of her ties. “Chaeng. Just… let me figure this out on my own, okay?”

That sentence was weird, and it could mean a thousand different things. Chaeyoung was still overbearingly protective of Sana, so she just wanted to make sure that Dahyun’s dense ass wouldn’t end up hurting the girl. “Just tell me if—”

Tzuyu placed a hand on Chaeyoung’s shoulder. “Have fun, Dahyun.”

The artist turned to her, but had to give up when Tzuyu’s stare told her ‘stop it’. Dahyun nodded and finally finished tying her shoes, getting up.

“See you.” She left the room with happy little jumps.

Once the door closed, Tzuyu grabbed the remote, flipping through the list of movies. Chaeyoung stared at her, waiting.

“I wish you would stop doing this.” Tzuyu finally said, without sparing her a glance.

“Doing what?”

“Getting into everyone’s business.”

“What? I don’t—”

“And leaving me out of everything.”

Chaeyoung froze, the weight of the girl next to her suddenly heavy. She blinked, trying to process that, but just got ultimately confused. “Tzuyu, what are you talking about?”

“Why are you so worked up over Dahyun’s love life?”

“I just… I was just curious.” Chaeyoung didn’t know why she was keeping this a secret. Maybe it was to keep Sana’s feelings safe; leaking it out to everyone might make the rumors spread faster, and her condition might get worse.

“What made you so angry you had to punch a wall?”

“That’s…” While she did tell them the truth about her hand, she omitted the reason – again, another way to protect Sana.

Tzuyu dropped the remote and finally faced Chaeyoung with a frustrated stare. “You’re lying to me. Why are you keeping things a secret? You know something, and you’re not telling me, Son Chaeyoung.” It was rare for Tzuyu to call her by her full name, so that indicated how serious she was.

“I’m not lying, I’m just…”

“You don’t trust me anymore?”

That hurt more than Chaeyoung anticipated, and she was sure Tzuyu was about to cry. In a desperate gesture, the tiny girl grabbed Tzuyu’s hand with her left, shaking her head hastily. “No, no, that’s not it! Of course I trust you, God—” She choked up. “Tzuyu, you’re the person I trust the most in the world.”

They looked into each other’s eyes, both trying to find what had been lost along the way. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were best friends; they’ve always been, and they always would be. Nothing else mattered as long as they were together, and they didn’t keep secrets from each other. That was their motto, that was their whole life.

Tzuyu turned her palm upwards, lacing their fingers together, and that was all it took for Chaeyoung to remember that.

The girl in front of her wasn’t some stranger that would ruin Sana’s reputation – she was Chou Tzuyu. This was Chaeyoung’s best friend.

This was the girl Chaeyoung loved.

She felt incredibly stupid.

“…I’m an idiot.” Chaeyoung breathed out. “You’re right. You’re always right. I’m sorry.”

Tzuyu tugged at the girl, making her fall on her lap. That was a familiar and comfortable spot, and Chaeyoung allowed herself to relax despite her racing heart. She just stared at her friend from below, and sighed when Tzuyu started running her fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp slightly. “You’re not an idiot.”

Chaeyoung closed her eyes, and just listened.

“You’re stubborn, yes. And I know you just want to protect everyone.” Her voice was calm and delicate, much like herself. “But you can’t carry everyone’s burdens on your shoulders.” She paused with a soft giggle. “They’re not even broad enough for that.”

Chaeyoung allowed herself a chuckle at that. “Hey…”

Tzuyu smiled, bringing one finger to the girl’s forehead, tracing all the way down her nose and cheeks. “So I wish you would let me help you, too. No more secrets, at least from me. Please, Chaengie.” Her voice broke. “…I don’t want to lose you.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes flew open and Tzuyu let a tiny tear fall. She sat up, cupping Tzuyu’s cheek and rubbing her thumb there gently to wipe the wetness. “Okay. No more secrets, I promise.” She smiled weakly. “Just… don’t cry. You know I can’t handle it when you cry.”

The tall girl sniffed, nodding. She placed a hand on top of Chaeyoung’s. “I hate crying, anyway. My face gets all ugly and gross.”

“You could never be ugly, nor gross.”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes and smiled, with a faint blush. “Please.”

“I mean it,” Chaeyoung wouldn’t stand for this. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

The sentence wasn’t met with an amused comeback, and Chaeyoung noticed that she’d been more serious than she realized. She cleared her throat, finally letting go of the girl’s cheek. “Anyway. T-the things I need to tell you.”

“R-right.” Tzuyu blinked, snapping out of it. The compliment had made something gnaw at her stomach, but she ignored it.

Chaeyoung told her everything; about Sana’s feelings for Dahyun, Momo’s weird behavior at the cafeteria, Sana’s anxiety attacks, and the reason she smashed her hand into a wall. Tzuyu gritted her teeth when she heard about the rumors, disbelief washing over her face.

“That is so awful. Sana never did anything wrong.”

“I know,” Chaeyoung hated remembering those girls faces, but she saw them every time she closed her eyes. “I couldn’t hold myself back.”

Tzuyu looked back at Chaeyoung’s hand, and took it on a gentle hold. “I wish you wouldn’t hurt yourself like this.”

“…That’s something else I need to tell you.” Now that she got to her secrets, Chaeyoung was hesitating.

“What?”

She took a deep breath. “I talked to the nurse. She told me… to go see the psychologist about these angry outbursts. She was afraid I might direct it at a person, at some point.” Chaeyoung swallowed hard. “I’m… scared, Tzuyu. I don't wanna hurt people.”

Tzuyu watched her with affection, without a single drop of judgement. “Well, I’m not scared of you. Because I know you.” She touched their knees together. “And, to be honest, I noticed that your outbursts were getting more… worrying? I just couldn’t find a good time to talk to you about it. I’m sorry, I should have.”

“Oh… wait, you knew?” Chaeyoung thought that this was her most well-hidden secret.

“Chaengie, I’m your best friend. Of course I knew.”

She suddenly felt like Tzuyu knew a lot more about her than she let on, and her heart started beating a little faster. What else was she aware of? Chaeyoung promised no more secrets, but that didn’t mean that she would just unlock her perfectly hidden vault of anxiety-induced fears.

She could never tell Tzuyu about her feelings for her.

That was the one thing she would never reveal.

“I have things to tell you, too,” Tzuyu interrupted her flow of thoughts, turning serious again. “I talked to Jihyo. And there’s… a very complicated thing happening.”

“Complicated?” Chaeyoung calmed down, thankful for the distraction.

“Yes. I’m going to tell you, because we promised no more secrets between us. But this can’t get out, not yet.”

Chaeyoung frowned, confused. Tzuyu just approached her, and whispered in her ear.

As soon as she was done, Chaeyoung leaned back. Then, slowly, she mouthed, “Oh, no.”

  --

  Nayeon froze in the middle of her routine as soon as she saw Momo walking in. She slouched her shoulders and turned to the girl, who was also rooted into place. And, because of her lack of sleep, the words came out harsher than she intended. “What are you doing here?”

“Dancing?” Momo frowned. “Why, did you make a reservation for this room?”

It really was a dumb question and Nayeon just shook her head. “No. I’m sorry, I didn’t… mean to shun you.”

“I can go to another one, if you want.”

“No,” She didn’t have the energy to think, so her emotions spoke for her. “You can stay.”

“Are you sure?” Momo didn’t know if that was a good idea, but all her doubts vanished when Nayeon motioned her to come in and close the door.

“I want you to stay.”

It was hard to refuse.

Momo looked around to make sure no one else would bother them, and closed the door. She walked up to Nayeon, and started stretching, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Nayeon stared at her friend’s gorgeous body for a second before rubbing her tired eyes and going back to her rehearsal.

It didn’t take long for Momo to notice that Nayeon was slipping, making mistakes on her steps that didn’t make sense, and just plain irritated with how everything was coming out. She grunted and muttered under her breath out loud, and at some point, she nearly kicked the mirror from being too close. Momo touched her forearm.

“You’re not focused.”

“I’m the embodiment of focus, Hirai Momo.”

For some reason this made an amused smile grace Momo’s lips. “Yes, you are, but right now you’re just stumbling around like an amateur.”

Nayeon turned to her with a livid expression, but just let her mouth hang open without a sound. Momo laughed a little, pushing her chin back, closing it. “Boop.”

“Don’t boop me.” Nayeon stepped back, huffing. “I need to get this soon. What am I doing wrong, then? Teach me.”

“I don’t know your dance routine.” Momo replied with a neutral expression.

“I’ll teach you, then you can teach me back.”

“That… sounds incredibly hard.”

“Well, then what am I supposed to do?!” Nayeon yelled and Momo jumped, startled. Nayeon felt guilt wash over her. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

Momo didn’t say anything; that’s when she really took a good look at her friend’s face and noticed the terrible condition she was in – the dark circles under her eyes, the thin lines on her cheeks, her pale, almost sickly skin, her pupils dilated. Looking down at her hands, she noticed the faint shaking as well.

Momo approached her and took her hand, talking in a gentle tone. “Have you been sleeping?”

“I don’t have time to sleep,” Nayeon replied with a shudder; she was going to try to pull away, but she didn’t want to.

She wanted to rest, and she wanted to rest against Momo, and she didn’t want to think about Jeongyeon and the marks on her shoulder, and the way she looked at her when she’d been caught, because she wasn’t even hers to begin with, not anymore, they broke up, and the regret was too much to bear, and Momo was right there, and she just—

Momo let her go suddenly and pulled up her phone, plugging it on the speakers. Nayeon just followed her with her gaze, unmoving. As soon as Momo found the song she wanted, she pressed play, and returned to Nayeon’s side.

The soothing, romantic voice echoed through the room, accompanied by a violin and a gentle tambourine in the back. Momo was close. They exchanged looks, then Momo let her fingertips slide softly up Nayeon’s arms, until her elbow. She urged the girl to wrap her arms around her shoulders, then touched her waist.

“Dance with me,” Momo breathed against Nayeon’s lips.

Nayeon swallowed, and let herself be taken – for one moment, she stopped fighting.

They started with slow steps, swaying side to side to the tender beat. It was their thing, dancing – they danced when they were happy, they danced when they were worried, and they danced when they were tired and wanted to forget their problems. It’s always been like this, and Nayeon had a feeling that she was in love with this habit.

Her cheeks reddened with each movement of their bodies, so she looked down, away from Momo’s loving gaze. With a big sigh, she closed her eyes and felt the environment around her; her fingers grazed Momo’s hair a little, and she smelled her perfume. It was familiar and nice, like everything Momo did.

Her heartbeat finally slowed down after a long day of caffeine-induced palpitations, and her muscles relaxed under Momo’s touch. Nayeon let her head fall on the crook of the girl’s neck at some point, unable to resist.

Momo exhaled against her hair, pulling her closer, until their chests touched. Having Nayeon on her arms like this made her feel a little less angry at the world, and she let her hands roam the girl’s back, tracing circles there. She felt Nayeon’s eyelashes fluttering against her neck and smiled on her hair. Their dance had turned into a simple, but profound hug.

Momo didn’t want to tell her about Mina and Jeongyeon. She didn’t want to think about it, because it just made her heart ache and her head dizzy with conflicting thoughts that she wouldn’t be able to resolve.

Nayeon deserved the whole world, and Momo wanted to give her that – but she couldn’t. Jeongyeon was the only one who would ever make Nayeon happy, and Momo had somewhat accepted that after that party. For a brief moment, she’d let herself believe that Nayeon had moved on, but that was okay. As long as Nayeon was happy, Momo was happy too.

So why couldn’t she do the same for Mina? She felt the same for her best friend – everything she wanted was her happiness.

“…Not if it gets in the way of Nayeon’s happiness. Is that it?”

Momo sighed at the words. That was true – partially. But something else ached in her chest.

The taste of Mina’s tongue was still fresh in her mouth. Everything was so confusing.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Momo confessed on a breathy whisper. She expected a question to follow, but Nayeon’s weight suddenly got a lot heavier, and Momo had to hold her up. “Nabongs?”

The girl just snored slightly against her shoulder. Momo blinked, trying to wrap her head around the fact that Nayeon had literally slept on her as they danced. With a grin, she dragged her, so they could sit against the studio’s wall.

Momo adjusted Nayeon’s position until she was finally comfortably leaning on her shoulder. Nayeon unconsciously moved her arm, settling it across Momo’s waist, and pulling her close like a giant teddy bear; Momo chuckled, tangling her fingers on her hair slowly.

She looked down at the girl who was now drooling on her shirt, and let out a breathy laugh. Nayeon was probably exhausted, but she was still stubborn to the end; she kept refusing help, but Momo knew she needed it. Right then and there, Momo promised to stay by her side, no matter what.

Her feelings were all over the place, and new emotions might’ve been growing inside her heart, but there was one thing Momo was absolutely certain about.

Carefully, she traced one finger into Nayeon’s back, writing a silent confession.

‘I love you.’

Then she pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

  --

   “One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three,” Sana counted as she held Dahyun by her arms, guiding her steps to match the numbers. The younger girl wasn’t as good or coordinated, but she did her best, and Sana appreciated her for it. “That’s good! You’re doing well.”

“Am I? I feel like this is supposed to be easy, but I’m struggling.” The feeling of Sana’s hold on her was soothing despite her insecurities.

“It’s supposed to help with your blood circulation,” Sana explained, letting her go. “There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Now lie down with your legs turned to me.”

Dahyun obeyed, and Sana mirrored her position. The younger girl stretched her neck to see Sana’s feet touching hers.

“Now I’m going to push my feet against yours, and you have to push back, okay? When we find a balance, we’re gonna lift our legs up slowly, then bring them back down.” Sana instructed, and Dahyun gave her a thumbs-up.

They took their time finding a good position for their legs, but eventually managed; with Sana’s expert counting, they kept exercising. The activities were relaxing and simple, and felt more like a stretching routine than anything else. Sana was good at guiding people and teaching them what to do and how to move, and she’d called Dahyun to spend some time with her as she practiced this new routine.

She needed to take her mind off her two best friends fighting, and the whole drama they put themselves into. Sana didn’t know if she should mention anything to the rest of the group, but she decided that this problem was Mina’s to solve. Right now, she wanted to spend time with the person she adored.

“One last time…” Sana spoke from the other side. “And, done.”

She got up after that, wiping her shorts and shirt. When she turned around, Dahyun was still on the floor, breathing a bit heavily. Sana smiled, walking towards her. “You alive?”

“Why does this hurt?” Dahyun struggled, her legs heavy all of a sudden.

“Wow, you’re in a pretty bad shape, huh?” Sana laughed, offering her hands. “Grab on.”

Dahyun missed the first time, but eventually grabbed her hands. Sana pulled her up with a startling strength, and Dahyun stumbled on her way to the surface, falling on top of the girl. Fortunately, Sana hugged her in place, her strong legs rooted to the ground. “Wow!”

“Sorry!” Dahyun blushed, the full contact making her head spin. When she was about to step back, she felt Sana’s arms wrapping tightly against her.

“Stay a little bit,” Sana murmured in her ear. Dahyun slowly relaxed her shoulders, returning the soft hug. She let out a breath, then smiled, feeling warm all over.

“Are you okay?” Dahyun asked after a long silent moment.

Sana nodded. “Hmhmm.”

“That’s good,” her shampoo smelled amazing, and Dahyun could feel her heart beating against their pressed chests. “So, this is what you’re majoring in?”

“It is.”

“Dance therapy, huh…” She couldn’t help but to think how fitting it was for this girl to want to help people through her passion. “How exactly does it work?”

“Well… I want to assist people through dance, be it emotionally, or physically. I think it’s such a wonderful activity,” Sana finally unwrapped herself from Dahyun and moved to sit on the studio’s floor. She patted the spot next to her, and the younger girl plopped down immediately. “For example, if someone got into an accident, and damaged their muscles, physiotherapy might work for a while, but wouldn’t it be too boring eventually?”

“I guess so.”

“I want to show people how fun dancing can be, and how they can get better by doing silly stuff to the rhythm of a song,” Sana smiled softly as she spoke, looking up to the ceiling. “It helps the body and mind.”

Dahyun eyed her, then sighed with a grin. “That’s so you.”

“Hmm? What?”

“You’re struggling with issues yourself, and yet you want to dedicate your life to helping others. I don’t know… it’s just something you’d do.” She closed her eyes, bumping her head lightly on the wall behind her. “You make me proud, Sana-ya.”

Sana’s eyes lingered on Dahyun’s beautiful profile for a moment, speechless. Without a second thought, she turned her torso, and gently placed a kiss to her chubby cheek. Dahyun’s eyes shot open and she faced her, surprised, one hand touching the attacked spot. “What was that for?”

“Just reminding you how much I like you.” The answer was simple, and yet, it made Dahyun melt completely.

With a surge of bravery, Dahyun leaned forward too, awkwardly pressing her mouth against Sana’s upper lip. She pulled back and hid her hot face in hands. “I’m bad at this.”

Sana chuckled, but her chest exploded with affection. She leaned her head on the younger girl’s shoulder, nuzzling her neck. “We can be bad at this together.”

They chatted a lot, and cuddled even more, and when the afternoon turned into evening, both girls left the dance studio with arms locked. Sana still felt nervous about walking through the main hallway, but with Dahyun by her side making silly jokes and rubbing her knuckles, things were much more bearable.

In the distance, a group of five girls stopped their conversation to stare at the couple. They were rigid, and almost doll-like as they held their unblinking gaze. One of them, a blonde that looked like she could be pushing thirty, smirked as she locked eyes with her target. Dahyun frowned at her.

The blonde lifted one hand and made a crude gesture, flapping her tongue in between her two fingers. Then she mouthed ‘slut.’

Dahyun widened her eyes and turned back to Sana; fortunately, she hadn’t seen it. With a heavy feeling in her heart, Dahyun walked faster, urging Sana to do the same.

When she checked one last time to see if the group of girls were there, they had vanished.

It felt like a target had been placed on her back.

  --

  Mina waited by the fountain, observing the birds and students in their natural habitat. The afternoon grew burdensome, like the feelings in her chest; she hated fighting with Momo, of all people. That girl was her pillar, and it felt like things were falling apart lately. However, new, exciting things were happening; Mina didn’t want to bring herself down when one of her dreams had come true just last night.

Too absorbed in her own thoughts, Mina didn’t even realize when the person she’d been waiting for finally arrived. So, Jeongyeon tapped her shoulder lightly, making her finally lift her gaze.

“Hey, you.” she said with a smile.

Mina’s heart immediately jumped out of her chest, and it felt like a thousand butterflies went loose on her stomach. She mirrored her expression, biting her lip to stop her smile from growing too much – an impossible task, as it turns out. “Hey yourself.”

Jeongyeon sat next to her, arms behind her back. “I found something on the way that I think would suit you.”

“Oh?”

Jeongyeon lifted her arm then, revealing a tiny flower. “May I?”

Mina was sure that this girl didn’t exist. She couldn’t possibly be real.

She just nodded, shyly, and Jeongyeon placed the flower behind her ear with delicate fingers. She smiled then, admiring her work. “I was right. It suits you.”

Mina looked back up with red cheeks and touched the tiny blossom perched in her hair. “You’re so charming.”

Jeongyeon shrugged, sliding a bit closer. “You make it easy.”

They just stared at each other, their new feelings overwhelming their senses. Mina wanted to pull her close, kiss her deeply, hold her for the rest of her life – was that what being in love felt like? It was such a new, amazing feeling; the rawness of it all made her dizzy.

“I thought you’d be rushing to edit your movie,” Mina finally said, breaking the spell.

“I will. I just wanted to see you first,” Jeongyeon replied, scratching her neck. “Before, you know… spending the whole afternoon watching your face on a screen.”

Mina giggled at that. “You’ll get tired of my face.”

“There’s no way I could,” Jeongyeon’s words were filled with sincerity, and her eyes were positively shining – maybe it was the sun, but Mina liked to believe that they had a light of their own.

Suddenly Momo’s words rang on her mind, and Mina hesitated before asking. “Jeong… what are we now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what is… this?” She pointed at herself, then at girl in front of her. “I told you how I feel about you, we kissed, and then we… went beyond that.” Mina hid her face in embarrassment. “A lot beyond that.”

Jeongyeon’s laughter was nervous as well. “I mean, technically you only told me what you felt after we—”

“T-the point being,” Mina interrupted. “I was just wondering. If we’re… dating now, or…”

The words were heavy, perhaps with a weight that Jeongyeon didn’t know how to carry anymore after spending so much time in love with a girl whom she thought she would marry. It scared her to no end, because Mina deserved an answer and something concrete in her life, but Jeongyeon was incredibly afraid of ending up in the same situation as before.

Remembering the kiss from a week ago didn’t help calm the turbulent waters inside her heart. Jeongyeon was still lying about something important, and she didn’t want to start a relationship with such a secret weighting down on them. She needed time to tell Nayeon about Mina, and to tell Mina about Nayeon.

Jeongyeon took a deep breath and held Mina’s hands. “I’ll probably sound very selfish right now. I hope you can forgive me.” Mina nodded, urging her to continue. “But… can you give me time? At least until I’m done with this assignment. There are… some things I need to tell you, Mina. And I want to do this right.” She sighed. “You’re too important to me for me to mess this up.”

It wasn’t quite the answer Mina was expecting, but she reckoned it would be better for both of them. She also needed some time to confront Momo again and make her see her side of this story. Having Momo’s approval was everything to her at the moment.

Mina also knew what things Jeongyeon was referring to – the kiss at the party. She couldn’t give away that she knew about this, or else she was sure Jeongyeon would feel betrayed, and more complications would result from this.

So, Jeongyeon and Momo. Mina paused, feeling like she was forgetting something.

“Have you considered Nayeon’s feelings about this? At all?”

Nayeon.

Even after Momo’s outburst in her face, it was only at that moment that it finally hit her.

How would Nayeon feel about all this?

Mina felt terribly self-centered all of a sudden.

“Minari?” Jeongyeon’s voice brought her back to reality, and she shook her head.

“Alright,” She answered. “We don’t have to rush this. I understand.”

Relief washed over Jeongyeon’s face and she felt so happy that she simply leaned forward and kissed the corner of her mouth. “Thank you.”

The gesture sent Mina’s heart flying. With Jeongyeon still close, Mina tugged slightly, shyly chasing after her. Jeongyeon blinked for a second, confused, then realized what she wanted – she had no idea why she was so bad at reading Mina.

Their mouths touched again tentatively, and Mina sighed against those lips, heart soaring and cheeks red. Jeongyeon brought one hand to the back of her neck, parting Mina’s lips with a swipe of her tongue. They kissed slowly, much differently from what they’d done yesterday, enjoying the feeling of having each other close like this. Jeongyeon pulled back for a second, only to deepen the kiss a bit more. Mina let out a tiny groan from the back of her throat, making all the hairs on Jeongyeon’s neck stand up. There was something addictive about kissing Myoui Mina.

Unfortunately, they had to part after a few moments. ‘The way Mina looks after kissing should be immortalized on the silver screen’, was a thought that occurred Jeongyeon for a brief second.

“I need to go,” Jeongyeon chuckled sadly.

“R-right!” Mina felt a bit self-conscious – they were pretty exposed outside. “I’m sorry. Go on, you have an entire movie to edit.”

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon didn’t move for a second, then saw Mina’s little flower crooked on her hair. She adjusted it with a dumb grin, then cupped the girl’s cheek. “I kinda don’t want to leave.”

Mina was sure she was going to die from the amount of affection she felt. “You have to.” She shot her a gummy smile. “I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

Jeongyeon sighed, helplessly. “Okay, then.”

With one last peck to Mina’s lips, she got up, moving away with a wave. Mina laughed, covering her mouth, then licking her lips as she watched the girl’s figure get more and more distant. She felt so giddy that she fell backwards, legs up kicking slightly.

A sudden buzz on her phone made her sit back up. She grabbed it and opened the message in their group chat.

 [GodJihyo, 4:49pm]:

Attention, we’re all gathering this Saturday. Tzuyu’s family will be traveling, so get ready for a house party

IMPORTANT: No one else can come but us

Also you have no choice in the matter

See you there!

 Mina didn’t know what to type back, fingers frozen on the screen; it was impossible to defy Jihyo when she became this excited about an event. She sighed, afraid of what was going to happen if everyone gathered for the day.

A sudden wind blew, making Mina’s tiny flower fly away.

It felt like a warning.

#twice #my fic #namo #mimo #chaeyu #jeongmi #2yeon #saida

[imterriblypleased-blog]

Platonic David Dobrik - Depression (Requested)

Request: can you do a platonic David Dobrik imagine where the reader has become increasingly more isolated from everyone and he confronts her about it, and she admits that she's trying really hard not to kill herself but everything has just been really hard lately? thank you 

A/N: Okay - II went a little off track from the request and gave it a lot more of my own detail rather than sticking to what i was supposed to. Sorry to the anon and anyone waiting on this imagine. Feel 100% free to request again but more generalized because i am more than happy to re-write. Im still new and learning to stay on topic and not to put so much backstory in. Im also still learning and working on the actual writing itself along with punctuation and grammar so bare with me, I’ll get there! (im also still working on my continuous struggle with changing POVS accidentally. Im trying very hard to correct that)  I just really wanted to say this hear because im not 100% happy how this turned out. In saying that, FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED! i will NEVER be offended by constructive criticism and i appreciate honestly. Anyway, Stay safe kids xox

Triggers: Mentions of depression and suicide. 

Word Count: 1199

//

(Your POV)

You’ve been best friends with David and Gabbie since the first day of high school. We were drawn to each other because we were all the funny/ nerdy type. Each one of us had braces, we were not at all popular, nor the target of bullying. We kind of just existed. But we existed together, with our matching senses of humor and strikingly similar interests.

The only difference between us then and now – is puberty. We’d all gotten our braces off, Gabbie and I grew all the right parts in all the right places and David, well David just got taller.

Oh. and Gabbie and David were internet famous.  

Gabbie was the first to move to LA, and we all supported her. It only made sense considering her YouTube channel and Vine account had blown up to such large extents. David and I were both incredibly proud. When David finally made the choice, he asked If you wanted to come along to live with him. You weren’t a YouTuber, or a Vine star, or anything. You chose not to jump on the vine train because sure you were confident and funny, you just didn’t enjoy the spotlight; One of the very few differences between you and your best friends. You decided instead to attend university in hopes of becoming a teacher one day. But that didn’t really work out…You had been working with some mental issues in the last few months. Nothing you’d ever told David or Gabbie about. They were living the dream, you wouldn’t dare to anything to compromise their happiness at this point in their lives.  

3 years later and you’re living in LA with your best friend and his roommates, Alex and Dom. Our apartment is a ten-minute drive to Gabbie’s and yeah, life is pretty good. I work at hooters with David’s friend Corina, - I know. Okay, I know. I’m not exceling in terms of my career but I’m getting there. I’m in TAFE studying my CERT 3 in WWC. First step to a future working with children. And David (being the amazing – and rich – best friend he is) pays most of my bills, for now.

//

Alex, Dom, Jason, Nik, Corina and David were currently all squashed together on the couch watching ‘The Terminator’ on the TV in the lounge. And you were in your room.  In bed.  Asleep.  At 7pm. David had walked in to offer you Chinese take-out about an hour ago, but you refused, you weren’t hungry.  Just like last night, and the night before. He frowned a little as he left your room and shut the door gently behind him.

A week goes by and it’s the same routine. You’ve had 5 ‘sick’ days off work in a row. You rarely eat dinner, or even get of bed to shower. You’re miserable. You feel as though you don’t even have a valid reason to be sad, you just are. You’re working in a dead-beat job watching your best friends become crazy successful, not to mention you owe thousands of dollars to the government for student loans. Life is just draining.

You continue to suffocate in this deep dark hole of despair for 2 more months before it completely consumes you. You quit your job, dropped out of school, stopped brushing your hair, eating, drinking, brushing your teeth. You stopped everything because you were ready to die.

Its taken a ridiculous amount of effort up to this point in time not to just step out in front of a moving car while you’re crossing the street, or take a few extra anti-depressants that you were prescribed 4 years ago, back home when you first began battling with this illness. These feelings of uselessness and hopelessness merely heightened your sickness, and made it stronger. Watching your closest friends glide through life while you’re constantly tripping and falling and tumbling just fueled the fire.

It was a Saturday afternoon. David, Gabbie and David’s girlfriend Liza were all Over at David’s other friend Heath and Zane’s apartment filming. While you had still to wake. It came to 4 o’clock in the afternoon and you had finally woken up from your 18-hour slumber, but you had yet to get out of bed. You just lay there, not even thinking, Just still.

Of course, until David knocks on your door. “Y/N” he called. “Can we talk?” You hesitated.

“yea” you mumbled, you didn’t bother to act happy anymore. That shipped had sailed months ago.

David walked over to you and sat down next to you on your bed as you slowly pull yourself up into a sitting position.

“I can’t keep ignoring this y/n” “I won’t”

At this point you can’t even feel ashamed. In this situation, a couple of months ago you would have been embarrassed, ashamed, sad, angry - anything. But the emotions just, weren’t there. In the absence of any sort of filter, you began to speak.

“Nothing means anything to me anymore. Not my job. Not my education.” “Not my life”

You’re staring at the empty space in front of you.

“I can’t tell you how hard it has been for me, in the past few months to keep living.” “It’s so hard. Living in your shadow. Watching you guys succeed and leave me behind. I feel worthless. I am worthless”

Your voice lacks emotion. Your face is blank. David’s is not.

“y/n, do you really feel that way?” You hear his voice shake. In the absence of his camera, his voice is a lot deeper. Deep and hearty enough to reach somebodies soul. But not mine. Mine is untouchable.

I didn’t respond.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” “I’ve been worried about you sore awhile now but I didn’t know it was this serious. I could have helped, I – I still can” David was becoming restless his eyes darting around the room, contemplating, deciding, taking in the situation.

Your head dropped and you stare at your hands. Your heart is suddenly invaded with pure sadness, so much that it physically hurts. “I don’t think you can” you said quietly, your voice trembling and breaking as you spoke. Your eyes begin to well up with tears, almost as if all the pain and numbness has all projected itself into your eye sockets and you’re finally expressing all the depression built up over the years. It’s almost satisfying.

David immediately takes you in his arms and allows you to cry aggressively into his shoulder. Your crying becomes so intense and that you’re barely breathing and your throat becomes congested with hiccups and weasing, but this eventually dyes down to a silent sob.

Once you’ve let everything out, you just rest calmly with your head on David’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come to you sooner. I’m sorry that iv been so distracted that I didn’t even realize my best friend was hurting” David says, barely above a whisper. “Look at me, Y/N” He gently cups my face and stares into my eyes. “We are going to get through this. We will seek help, and get you better. You understand?” “You’re my best friend, I can’t live without you”

#david dobrik #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik fanfic #depression #suicide #self harm #mental health #mental illness #platonic #requests #send me requests

[autowrite]

Ardennes Trip Journal - 28.07.19 - 10.08.19

Day 1

23:15 The adventure continues. So much to say and only 14 minutes to do it in. The accommodation is pretty crappy. An old youth hostel converted into something..maybe not even converted. I arrived with 2 woman who couldn’t find their way here with a GPS. Right now I feel like I’ve let myself down a bit. I promised myself I would be authentic, I feel like Im hiding, crawling back into my shell. I promise myself that I will do what it takes to be authentic here, even if I don’t totally know what it means. I think it has to do with flow, carefree ness. There are a few girls here that I’m attracted to, one of them is the lady in charge of the volunteers. She doesn’t have a pretty face but she wears tight clothing and she has a nice body. I like tight clothing on a nice body. I feel like I underestimated the amount of work I’ll have to do here. It seems like mostly work with a bit of free time over. I would like to see more of the surroundings but I’m not sure what, I’m not even sure how curious I am to be honest. The meals are vegetarian and don’t seem to be enough, I have a feeling I won’t be able to fall asleep quickly because I’m kinda hungry. My mind has been hijacked by Mara. I keep thinking about having a little fling with Hanna. I gave her a hug earlier when we were alone in the bathroom. Damn, how did I manage that? The truth is I’m just using her. Lust is toxic, it’s toxic. But the pull toward her is strong. If I go down this road it will lead to another and then another and then another. It doesn’t stop until I put an end to it. Until I make the decision to not engage. The people that work here are rather nice. Bert and Wim and Carlos. There are very cute and friendly young little cats here. This evening I saw the mommy cat run into the garden, frantically lookin*for one of her young ones, and then she gave her a little mice she caught to  play with. It was so adorable. I would like to use my time here to also be able to relax and read and go for walks and bloom socially.

14:00 I’m on a train. It takes almost 4 hours to get there and the time is flying. I’ve read some google reviews of the place and a lot of people say the inside looks kind of shitty and that the food is too vegan. Mixed responses. But then they also say it’s isurroinded by beautiful nature in the middle of nowhere, I’m curious about that! I think it’s going to be pretty cool. I’m tried right now, I need some sleep. I hope I get along with my colleagues, I hope that I can flip the switch and be open, spontaneous and helpful. Wild, adventurous, authentic. Funny af.  I guess all I’m looking for is a nice place to wake up in, with fresh air, some structure, a place to read and relax, a place to push myself a little in terms of social interactions! I’m glad I thought of journaling, I’ll write in this thing every day. They say that phones and WiFi doesn’t park very well there, not sire of this is a good or bad thing but I’m leaning more to it being a good thing. I’m a little worried that I’ll be my usual, rather serious, seldom-able-to-genuinely-smile self, that I’ll close up and all my (perfectly acceptable and even good) ideas will remain ideas in my head, that I might not have the courage to act on ‘em? Maybe? Perhaps? We’ll see. I got a lot of books with me, I’m happy about that. They have a piano there, playing piano is a very meditative practice (even kinda spiritual). I’m also a tad concerned that everyone will be ‘nice’ in an annoying way, like super-friendly, heart-on-their-sleeves millennials there to confront me with how old and uptight I am :-) I’m actually just a big kid inside, but showing that side takes a lot of guts, requires a lot of freedom (giving myself permission to be free), requires a certain amount of trust ofcourse. But I want just that. Carefreeism. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Ain’t no one, NO one going to give you permission to put on that hat, that’s a decision you make on your own..Writing this I feel a bit like the main character from a Michael hollebeqs ‘Whatever’. A guy who’s very aware of everything, has a fair amount of emotional intelligence, but is a little dead inside. Desperately in need of using his imagination, spontaneity. Fuck it i don’t want that! I reckon the people there will be hippy types with loose, comfortable clothing. Some dreadlock types that I will kind of look down on but they’ll be too busy living there lives (like I should be doing) to care. Fuck, when did this become a novel? I’m writing this as though someone is going to read it, someone like Lisa and I’m trying my best to be all insightful and clevah. Fuck that, this is my journal and I’ll be as daft and incoherent as I want. Meanwhile small Wallonian towns zip past me under overcast weather from this train. This little spot here is my comfort zone but also a creative abs therapeutic space. Fuck this train announce speak is loud and just above me. I’m hungry. I’m concerned abou this strict vegan policy they have there, that I’ll be hungry all the time, and won’t be able to sleep. I’m enthusiastic about apply Radical Acceptance techniques to this experience. To take the time to recognise how I feel, to ‘paise’ and offer myself some compassion perhaps. It’s okay, whatever happens: it’s okay. Showing up as you is ok. Feeling afraid and unsafe is okay. Being jouuous and free is okay. Doing you is ok. Not doing you is ok. Not having a good time is ok. You’re ok. I DON’T want to use this journal as a place to hide. A place to observe the world on the other side of some glass. Day 2

9:50 I slept ok, not great. The beds were ok. I have 10 minutes to write this and it all feels a bit rushed. I got laundry to do coz my shit is filthy. The weather is really nice and there is a really pretty courtyard with flowers and birds and little cats. Breakfast was pretty good, lots of oatmeal and things to choose from. I’m really bummed abiut the fact that our shifts here are split up in 2, through out the day, making it hard to leave the premise. I’m sitting here in the kitchen and there’s a world out there that I’d like to discover. The water for the shower is warm as opposed to hot. I’m tired but I’m so used to it that I hardly notice it anymore. I don’t feel much like talking, and others seem to want to talk. I don’t mind that much I guess, but I also want to not feel obligated to chat. But when I’m on my own i also feel a bit restless. I’m bothered by the stains on my shorts which look a bit gross. Worried that ill be limited to only the kitchen and the immediate surroundings while I’m here. The ‘sugar’ I put in my coffee is unrefined and tastes kind of gross. I have a feeling I’m going to get annoyed by the work here. I came here to work but also enjoy the surroundings. Damn. 22:30 I’m super tired right now, o feel o should have gotten more rest. They make us work a lot over here, it’s testing my laziness. I went for a walk and it was quite nice. I’m giving this experience a 6 out of 10 so far. I feel like a kid at times. I saw a horse that was blind in one eye, I stroked his face and his hit vs,r off on my finger. He seemed very ol and quite sad. I would have done more for him if I knew what he wanted. I have this feeling that I’m missing something. This afternoon I sat in front of the piano and I could lose myself in the notes. It was meditativive and restorative. It felt like something spiritual, I enjoyed it. I, tore, did I mention I was tired. I also feel a bit floppy and like...not a whole person. I’m worried that I’ll be stuck in arrested development forever, I feel so immature at times. I know that reliving the pain would fix it all but you can’t force these kind of things. Anyway, the weather is good, the people are nice and I’m happy to call it a night. I feel like I can do a lot more though.

Day 3 

22:50 I woke up today in a really bad mood. Not enough sleep, bad sleep. We eat vegan food here all day long, maybe that’s effecting it. I have quite a lot of wind, but that’s ok. I worked today, it’s 5 or 6 hours but it feels like all day. I’m happy to be here. I socialise all day too, and it’s fine. Sometimes not fine, sometimes I’m gripped with self-consciousness every time I open my damn mouth. Sometimes it feels like every single interaction is awkward, I know what is required is to let go but I probably put too much  pressure into it. Letting go is actaully effortless really, want an idea.  Anyway, I ended things with Katya today and i think this is for the best. I’m smoking too much and I think it’s for the best. I think about Carlos quite a bit, he’s quite a special dude. And Wim is leaving tomorrow and I’m sorry about that, I’m gonna miss him a little. His brother Bert is a nice guy, such an open and friendly person, with a big heart. I find it hard to make eye contact with himi, in a way. The ladies love him. Speaking of ladies I went with a walk with Hanne and I made tons of moves to the point she felt uncomfortable. When I returned I felt guilty and empty. I’d like to relax more here. I’m looking into doing something similar to this in a place with an ocean. This whole experience has been good. The work grounds me, puts things into perspective, but I have to admit I was expecting something a little better than this. I now know that my idea of farming or working in this way was merely a romantic one. Actually I want to be around creative people. People like me who want to make things, get lost in things, I’m just not yet sure what that ‘thing’ is.

Day 4 

22:40 Sitting here in the back of my corvette. Sitting here in the mountains of Spain, not claiming to know anything anymore. And so the journey begins.. Day 4. I keep asking Hanne for hugs. I worked in the garden today, I wasnt feeling it very much at  all. But I should be greatful, my teenage years were really tough, said the talk show host. I’m greatly out of touch with my center today, I could meditate on this though, embrace it, use it, it feels good to be alone. 12 minutes every single day. I’m waiting for the American cook. Hanna is leaving tomorrow for holiday in Schotland, I feel sad abiut that. And Wim left today. It was really nice getting to know him. He told me a lot about his travelling through South America. He’s got this crazy look in his eyes, he looks a bit like he took some bad acid, he also looks like someone who might be an alcoholic. I feel like I’m not capable of getting close to anyone at times, and they can sense it. I want to though, maybe they don’t notice it. Hanne is a work horse, but obviously has her own issues. She is cute though. Jeff is also cool of course. I feel like I scare people. I got a nice compliment from Carlos who said I should do stand up comedy. Where the heck is Lorenzo at? He said that to me 2 once. I get my energy by losing myself in creativity, making jokes. I get my creativity from a lot of things. Right now I’m in bed, nothing to be said. Right now I live like there’s a tomorrow, a red car racing. Like MJ and codependency. I called Lisa, she sounded enthusiastic and happy to hear from me. Latisha is doing well and is her cute self, miss her. I saw someone take one of the little cats away today and I cried just a little. I’m sure she  will be loved in her new home.

Day 5

21:50 Day 5 in Orval. I like it here, it’s peaceful. The grass is green, the birds sing and there’s cats around. I worked in the kitchen today and then then the garden. Enough to fill the day and I’m tired and ready for bed. Hanna left for Schotland today, I fooled around with her in her bedroom, but she held me at bay and I wasn’t interested in treating her like a sex object. She’s sweet and deserves a lot better. Carols was up to his usual tricks, conspiracy theories and what not. We found out today that I weigh twice as much as him. I’m actually gaining weight here, crazy. I’m saving money while being here, and doing the right thing. One of my goals being here is to show up authentically every single day. I’m kind of doing that, but sometimes I’m not sure what that means. I think it involves using my body. My work ethic has become a bit of a joke, I’m the guy that breaks away from the kitchen to play piano, it has crossed my mind that I like it when people are talking about me, even f it’s negative, even if it’s laughing. I think i night want constant reassurance, but deep down I want something more real than that, you know? Meditate on that. I’m not meditating, but enough about me. Wim is returning tomorrow, that’s cool. Not sure if I have a half day off tomorrow or not. The good is great. I haven’t eaten a single animal product in 5 days. I feel fine, I don’t feel amazing though, like the early days of changing my diet. Worked with Jeff in the garden, the sun was shining real pretty like, I posed as a Mexican drug cartel worker, it was silly. I thought I lost my kindle, but I didn’t.  I want to make plans to go on more walks, do some excercise, get up early. I would like to make kale smoothies too. I had an amazing insigh today, often when people talk to me, I feel a lot of tightening up around the heart. Construction of the heart. It’s clear in a way. That’s when I decide to relax and look the person right in the eye, and I feel the wall, the constricting melt a little. Other times I feel the opposite way, other times I feel my heart opening up, and I feel love and I honestly feel like giving the people around me a big big. There are people here that have stayed for 5 months. You can save money by being here. Don’t got back to Hurtsville. Your time here is good.

Day 6 

23:10 Day 6 in bold. They make us work too much over here. I did some weeding today, fuck, never doing that again. I lasted an entire hour. I think I’d lose my mind if I were a farmer, I need people too much. Need em to reassure me, tell me I’m alive. It’s been a long day, we work about 32 hours/week here. That’s almost a full time job, what a crappy candle. The highlight of my day might have been my meditation. Sitting under a tree with a horsefly that I killed,  it very Buddha like. The meditation helped me become more grounded. Later I went on Facebook. What the help are we doing with our lives? My her is Conan, what a silly name. How does this guy come up with so many jokes, he’s so damn funny. ‘My riff-gun was jammed’ Patton Oswald. I need a plan or a goal while I’m here. I’m stuck on this island and I’m not alone. More walks please, more excercise. Wim returned and that’s cool.

Day 7

22:40 Carlos the little monkey with the conspiracy theories. I’m getting back into using my phone again, and a little bit of porn too. It was very tiring day today. Wim and I went for a walk, we went to the abdij where Orval beer is made but we didn’t go in. We got personal, talked about heavy, personal stuff. I can’t say that it did much for me. I still feel like a sense of self, or bottom or ground is missing, and that’s ok, that’s just the kind of guy I am. We worked a lot and I felt so lazy, so tired. We are working something like 35 hours a week. I haven’t worked this much in a long time, it’s more work than I expected obviously. The weather was good, new groups have arrived and I find myself eyeing the ladies. I make a lot of jokes and everyone laughs at them it’s almost too easy. Acceptance. Nature. Hide away, dancing. 5 rhythm dancing. Dance to Maastricht. I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t know. Bert used to live in Costa Rica. He’s so at ease with himself it’s crazy. He says it’s all about being in the body, and dancing and yoga and some meditation. Wim must feel overshadowed a little, I still really enjoy playing the piano, I still feel the need to be an entertainer or performer of some kind. Do your best forget the rest, thanks for coming.

Day 8

00:15 Im beat, what a day. I feel tired and immature. The asshole social worker. We cleaned today, the entire kitchen. It was a time of laziness, and work and seriousness. I, getting fatter over here. The American cook showed up. And a very young couple. And the bosss and his hens. The American cook is called Mark or Marc and he comes acrosss like a healthy and capable man with an eye for the ladies. His wife or girlfriend also seems nice. I met a very nice girl today called Sophie, me and Wim had a drink with her. It’s good to be here, good to be in the real world. On Tuesday I get my day off, I guess the only thing I’m planning to do is rest. Wim and I are getting closer, lots of laughs and stuff. I feel small and inadequate right now and it’s uncomfortable, but I’ll breathe into it, accept it,  have it down the whole. I think you can do a lot with it but maybe never fully get used to it. Or something? I coughed a lot, I have a slight hangover now. I’m still impressed with this Sophie girl I just met. She seems so nice. I feel fat. Stick to your principals.

Day 9 

00:05 Camp fire singing. I should count my blessings. I feel a bit like a coward but I guess I should be proud that I sang. I lost my center, but that’s ok, everything is ok. Lots of laughs with Wim, I’m going to miss that dude. Staring at Melissa’s legs a lot. Cooking in the kitchen, with Mark and his pleasant wife. Mark is not a Buddhist, but he respects them. I felt intense shame while trying my best to play guitar. I want to frame it differently though, I want to quantify it coz I want to pass through it. Pass through the eye of the storm, it’s so nice on the other side, I’m sure of it. Sophie is so nice, I haven’t met a girl that nice in a while. Feels like I keep holding back, but beating myself up over it doesn’t make it better, doesn’t change anything. I woke up late and missed most of breakfast. I was in a lousy mood. Wim offered to do my dishes. There are so many people here, it’s non-stop interaction, at times it gets a bit much. I took a nap today and passed out almost immediately. I feel embarrassed by my weight. A new volunteer arrived in heels. Katy the 19 year old girl stood very close to me when i did something on my phone. Marks music is a bit boring in the kitchen. Wim and I shared many laughs, he’s a good guy. He cracks me up, I’m lucky to have him here. It’s good to be random, it’s good to not make sense, it’s a way to shake it all off. Inside of me is a child that wants to be let out. It wants light and air and to be seen, but he doesn’t feel safe. He’s embarrassed and ashamed and doesn’t feel good enough, but it’s the closest to something real I’ll ever feel. Jeff is a really nice, sincere, honest dude. I like him. But I gotto be real, if I don’t care I don’t care. Life I can be tough, so confusing at times. But I’m here, I’m doing this, I’m a alive, I laugh a lot, I accept.

Day 10

23:15 The skies were gray today. Wim left for the second time and he took Thomas with him. I was having a bad day until I took a nap and did some journaling. I walked down the road by myself and sat some of the crappy but charming neighbourhood housing. I’m eating less and less and I feel great right now. All this vegan food, no meat for almost 2 weeks. I feel looser today, happy to be around Wim and Jeff, happy to talk bullshit, more in a flow. Out there the air is thick with rain air, and tents are scattered across the grass bellow me. Mark is a nice guy but I notice we all get a bit more serious when he’s around us. It’s interesting to note that. I’ve been travelling with my dick in my pocket, I made a move on one of the girls here and I plan on subtly making moves on Katy, or whatever her name is, which is kind of gross of me. I should be ashamed of myself.. but enough about me, I was just following my dick. It feels good to be here though, I’m going to miss it. I’m glad I met Wim and plan to see him when I get back to Antwerp to talk more bullshit, etc etc. ALl these interactions can get a bit much. Melissa is so serious. The energy is good here.

Day 11

00:50 Nothings wrong I don’t get it. Hootchie girl, tease, this is. It going as planned. I strummed my guitar like a beast, leaflets on the floor. Better tomorrow. This is silly. This is silly, I care and I don’t care because I do t know what the heck I’m doing. I just want to stand for something in life. That’s all she said, the importance of being strong and saying something. I’m welcome back anytime. The bird is here, on the roof, performing for god knows who. Unable to break through, because no one ever gave him permission to. That’s sad but dead, gotto get the scream out of my system. I’m glad for you but not excited, we want the same things only different. Artists inside,  but vague in what we want. You’re tall, I’m tall, let’s make babies, let’s quit smoking. I lied to you actually. I’m not hurt, not going in some direction. Taking the piles a day at a time. William Prine, bathroom break. Big butt girl called Anoek, soft eyes, another girl under my belt, I feel gross about it , leaning into the fear is like leaning into the sun. we sat around a fire today, we played songs. Sophie leaned against me until our backs became uncomfortable. The smoke in my hair, the smoke in all of ours. I tried to be brave, I was brave, I sang the best I could. Now is not the time, my defence mechanism is cunning and baffling, I relate to it. I would rather have nothing that be a shaky leaf trying to ‘score’, I feel embarrassed and ashamed and I seek re-assurance. It’s ok toadman, see you at the breakfast table. DAY 13

4:00 I don’t understand what happened. Caily contacted me and told me she was raped by Mark. The American cook I liked. I don’t understand. I don’t feel much, just inklings of some confusion. I’m unable to let this idea sink in property. Raped?? Mark the guy I spent 5 days with raped a 19 year old girl?? Threatened her with a knife?? I don’t understand, this doesn’t compute with me. Caily is a wonderful person, sweet, real, authentic. She contacted me, we chatted for hours. I hope she’s ok, even though I don’t know what to feel. I tired to just keep her company, be there for her. I’m trying to think what I would do if I saw him. He might have ruined a 19 year old girls life.. she’s numb right now and traumatised. This is the world we live in. People who are innocent and real get preyed on by predators it seems. They have their innocence taken away. Caily is one of the most innocent and authentic girls I’ve ever met. So incredibly naive in a way. This man preyed on that if this really happened. I hope she’s ok. I hope she’s able to live fully again. I hope she’s able to process all this, to trust again.

Day 14 conclusions and shit

T’was a perfectly imperfect trip. The conclusion rests in the balance of: I had a really enjoyable time, I’m glad that I went there. As I sit in black shorts and shoes with holes in them on a bench in Antwerp, Orval seems pretty far away already. But it’s cool. I’m not yet sure what to  make about the ending though. A girl might have been raped. I think she was raped because she’s at the police right now. On the last day we did a big clean of the kitchen, the 2nd one during my stay. Sofie was with is helping in the kitchen, chopping onions and doing a splendid job. I was tired from the night before, the third night of building a camp fire and playing sharades and some songs. We gathered the fire wood ourselves, firewood that spat and crackled and carried a few ticks. Caily was with us. We had so much fun. And Jef. Oh how I remeber that night, it was like it was yesterday, or the day before yesterday, which it was. A little sprinkler water to cool us off, we dragged Melissa through the snow, coughing and spitting and giggling like a happy school child. We did good and we did her good

#ardennes #automaticwriting #autowrite #morningpages

[mysplaced-pen]

Heyo~ Its Stars Anon here ! Like I said yesterday, todays request is gonna be kind of an angst one (???) So, how would the RFA + V + Saeran help MC get out of an unwanted abusive relationship? Sorry if its a bit much but I crave angst mk. Anyways I hope you have a good day/night ! Be safe and stay positive ! (Lolol thats becoming my catchphrase i guess) -Stars Anon

Stars Anon, I like,,, really like this request. I don’t know why, but I got so excited when I read this. i think its cause i need to practice my angst so let’s go! (⌐■_■) look its a V emoji

thanks for the daily request! good night/day to you too, and stay safe as well!! (i think it is lol

this got hella long;;; EDIT: but i rly liked this one so..i took off the cut...whoops

 v and saeran are here!  [tw: violence, abuse, language, unhealthy relationships smh] 

zen

zen was highkey upset when they learned that mc was taken already

but as long as they were happy, well, he was too 

they did grow close, though! the two of them were good friends

zen actually met the person mc was dating 

they seemed nice and seemed to have a connection to mc

but he’d be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt a little

mc’s date mate kissed them in front of zen once and wow did that sting  

but one night, zen heard a knock on his door. and he was so confused because it was past midnight

he opened the door to find mc, crying and with a developing black eye 

automatically brought them inside and had them sit on the couch

“mc! are you alright? no, that was stupid, what happened? who hurt you?” 

they can’t answer through their tears at first so zen kneels in front of them and wipes them gently 

“take your time..i’m right here, mc. you can tell me anything”

they manage to choke out that their date mate hit them during a fight

zen was shocked. their date mate did that? they hit mc? 

what he wanted to do, was get up and punch mc’s date mate right then 

but he focused on mc first. pulled them into a hug and offered them to stay the night 

once they stopped crying, zen brought them an ice pack and some tea

zen told them they had to get out of that relationship, but mc refused at first 

“mc. they hit you.” “I know zen, but I can’t leave them..I shouldn’t even be here right now. oh my god, this is all my fault-”

“how is this your fault, mc? babe, you did nothing wrong.” “Don’t call me that! Please..don’t” they yelled that first part, which surprised zen 

he was about to ask, but there was a bang on his door 

mc yelped, sitting back on the couch. “they found me…” 

oh now zen is Angry. he opened the door and found mc’s date mate

“I know they’re in there! Give them back to me, right now. I wasn’t done with them.” mc is shaking in the back

zen, however, stood his ground. “how about you fuck off. mc isn’t going anywhere”

they punch zen (!) mc yelled out for him when they saw him stumble back 

zen is quick to recover though and punches them in return, harder. 

he manages to get them out of his house, but goes back to mc with a face worse than theirs

“zen! you shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry!” 

“they won’t bother you anymore, mc. you don’t have to apologize.”

“but-” “how about instead of apologizing, you stay with me instead?” “…i’d like that”

yoosung

yoosung was happy just having mc as a friend, at first

but then he developed a crush on them, which would’ve been fine and all, but they were already dating! 

he thought he was cursed for a few hours tbh 

unlike zen, yoosung never met mc’s date mate, but he’s heard stories 

mc smiles every time they tell those stories, so he tries to smile along with them, but it’s hard

and it was getting harder, but today was the day yoosung was supposed to meet mc’s date mate. he was going to go over to mc’s so they could all have lunch

when he got there, however, they were arguing.

“why do we have to have his kid over? I’m sure he just wants to get in your pants. And you’re gonna let him, aren’t you?” an unfamiliar voice. “of course not! yoosung is my friend..” mc’s voice 

“you don’t need friends! you’re dating me. I’m all you need, you whore” 

ok yoosung hates language like that, so he knocks on the door

mc’s date mate spoke again. “fuck off! you can’t have them, they’re mine.” “i’m sorry yoosung, maybe we can reschedule?” “reschedule my ass”..yoosung kind of lost his patience

he takes off his hair clip and picks the lock wow someone’s a badass

the door slams open and he can see mc flinch, but their date mate stands up

“mc is coming with me” and mc tries to go over to yoosung, but their date mate pulls them back over “take them from me, if you can” they smirk

yoosung knows that he probably can’t fight the person, but there’s something else he can do

no one is exactly sure how this happened, but now mc’s date mate is laid on the table, with yoosung holding them there 

“let me say this again. mc is coming with me.” “yeah, ok, sure dude.” 

yoosung lets them up and goes to take mc’s hand, but then the other person tackles yoosung instead

“yoosung!” mc yells out, running after the two of them, trying to get yoosung free

they eventually do get him off and mc slaps their date mate(ex date mate now) 

they run out and when they’re far enough, mc tells him that stuff like this has happened a lot..

yoosung hugged mc and kissed their forehead, “it’s over now, ill protect you”

jaehee

jaehee knew that mc was dating someone else, but that was fine, jaehee just wanted mc to be her friend, anyways. r u sure jaehee?

things were just fine! they all got along, everything was fine

until, out of nowhere, mc started hanging out with jaehee less

by now, they haven’t hung out with her in going on 2 weeks

jaehee gets a little worried, so she calls mc

and they pick up! but she can hear…sniffling?

“hey jaehee, sorry I haven’t been over lately” “I’m more worried about you, mc….is everything alright?” “oh, yeah! everything is ok, just..i don’t think i can hang out with you anymore, im so sorry-” 

and then mc hung up. well….that was weird

jaehee had a feeling there was probably more to this than mc let on

so she decided to head over to their place to check on them

but they weren’t there. their date mate’s house, then.

jaehee knocked on the door, mc’s date mate opened it and crossed their arms. 

“what do you want?” “is mc here?” “that’s none of your business” jaehee raised an eyebrow. “as their friend, it is a bit of my business…so they are here” “even if they were, you can’t see them.” 

jaehee takes a step forward, mc’s date mate doesn’t move. “mc?” she hears a little noise from inside. oh, they’re in there.

“you can’t keep them in here.” she says. “watch me.” they answer

“I won’t let you.” jaehee says, “i’d like to see you try.” they say in response

and then they spit on jaehee’s face

she wastes no time at all and literally flips them out on the ground outside. jaehee walks inside and picks up mc, leaving

they go back to jaehee’s apartment and she wraps mc in a blanket with hot chocolate 

“mc, love that person did not deserve you. and no one can keep you from doing whatever you like, okay? i’ll make sure of that now”

jumin

mc’s date mate showed up to the party

mc was talking to jumin while they walked up and pulled mc’s face over to kiss them

jumin found that both odd and unneeded, but he didn’t understand couples

he also found himself a bit…jealous? except he wouldn’t kiss mc that roughly in public..

so it was already off to a bad start 

things got really bad, however, when mc’s date mate decided to interrupt an rfa meeting at jumin’s penthouse

they made a ruckus. the guards were having trouble because it seemed like they were throwing a temper tantrum

mc stayed quiet when the others asked if they wanted their date mate to come in, so jumin decided to check it out

when he found mc’s date mate with his guards, they were drunk. it wasn’t even one in the afternoon. 

“you fuckers give mc back to me right now.” they said. “do you need them for something important?” he asked. “yeah, I need some sugar. now.” 

jumin han is…disgusted. and could only imagine how mc felt. 

“we’re in the middle of an important meeting. if you could wait for-” they cut him off. “i don’t wait! i’ll have mc whenever I damn well want mc.” 

and now, jumin han has a little brain click and he is angry

“hm. well, you can’t have mc at all anymore.” he tells the guards to take them outside, as well as one or two other things

but, of course, this drunk asshole decides to punch jumin first 

oh, now it’s only fair. jumin punches them back, and they are out. thanks alcohol

the guards are surprised, but he tells them he’s fine and to do what they’re told

he comes back into the meeting room, everyone but mc really surprised

*clears throat* “i’m afraid i ran into mc’s ex..but they’re taken care of”

707 / luciel / saeyoung

oh, this one knew about mc’s relationship alright

and he knew that their choice in significant others wasn’t the best 

he also knew that they needed to get out of that relationship asap 

but how to tell them that discretely?

turns out, he didn’t need to. 

he got a call from mc, which he answered right away 

“seven? can you give me a ride?…and stay on the phone with me?” “of course”

he put it on speaker, hopped into one of his babe cars, and started driving over to mc 

he heard their argument over the phone

“you’re not leaving, mc.” “yes I am! I’m done with you cheating on me! i’m done with you acting like you’re sorry about it and then doing it again!” 

saeyoung was proud of them for that

“but, babe…you know i love you, i couldn’t live without you. i’m nothing without you.”  mc made a sound, one that sounded like they were believing that

“that’s bullshit, mc. and you know that. i’m almost there.” he said 

“don’t listen to that stupid redhead, mc. i’m in love with you…you’ve helped me with so much..i’m getting better, love”

saeyoung was two minutes away. “i…seven, hurry” 

he pushed the gas harder. “be walking outside.” 

he could tell mc was doing what he said, they were moving. “let go of me!” they yelled, presumably because that ass was holding them back.

seven pulled up, got out of the car, and took mc’s bag, using it to hit their arm off of mc. “watch your back, okay?” was all he said before taking mc with him

when they drove off, saeyoung took mc’s hand again. “thank you for calling me..” they sighed, wiping a tear away. “i knew you could take care of me..”

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger hc #mysme headcanon #zen mysme #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #707 #saeyoung choi #anon #the stars anon #a request! #ams has rambled #long post #THAT TOOK FOREVER AHHHHHH