#im so tired besties

[if-mirrormine]

morning news, pt. 2

summary: alex's reaction to the mc's reappearance.

word count: 781

based on the ask (and request of many): please write the drabbles with kennedy and alex’s reactions to the news of mc returning there is interest!!!!! i am so interested!!!!!!

**unedited//giving this a quick read over, it's kinda bad but we move forward lmao**

walking through the hospital, alex easily weaves their way through the myriad of people that have found themselves there for some reason or other. they exchange smiles with nurses and occasional greetings with familiar patients, friendly nods with their fellow doctors just getting started on the next twelve hour shift but there's no stopping them on their way to the locker room.

finally they push through the door, pulling out their earphones as they approach their locker. it's generally quick work stripping out of their clothes and pulling on their scrubs but they prefer to take their time.

"there you are," a voice comes from behind them and they look over their shoulder as dr jesse robinson approaches them. they fight the smile that threatens to break on their face as they return their focus to tying the strings on their pants. "you missed a good breakfast this morning."

"trust me, i know," they reply, now grinning freely as they reach for their top. "i dream about your pancakes almost every night."

jesse bites his lip, leaning against the next locker with his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. "should've stayed then," he chuckles. "i could've driven you here too."

alex rolls their eyes playfully. "with the way you drive, jes? i don't think so." they're just about to pull on their coat when the other doctor suddenly straightens up, an unnaturally serious look on his face. "c'mon, i was just kidding; you're a great driver."

"it's not that," he says, waving their concerns off. "have you see the news today?"

"did you finally the lottery?" they joke, fixing their badge before glancing at the man. "because if you did, i feel the need to remind you that i chose three of those numbers for you."

"lex, i..." his head drops slightly, green eyes focused on a spot somewhere on their neck, before clearing his throat. "it's about mc."

at that, alex stops. moving, blinking, breathing. they're pretty sure their heart stops for a moment too before going into overdrive, slamming against their ribcage as if it plans to break free. they assume the worst immediately; that the mc is only in the news again because they're officially dead. gone, once again torn from their life with a new finality that leaves a bitter taste on their on tongue.

seeing their reaction, jesse is quick to reassure them. "they're alive, lex," he says, squeezing their shoulder affectionately. "from the sounds of it, in perfect health too. i just wanted to make sure that you knew and that you were okay."

on any other day, alex would've fallen into jesse's welcoming arms, letting themself be open to all the comfort he could provide. but today, with his touch lighting a fire in them that they're not sure they like the burn of, they turn away from him and let his hand fall when they move.

"why wouldn't i be?" they ask, needlessly rearranging the contents of their locker as they avoid his eyes.

jesse sighs, not quite understanding the turn their conversation has taken despite having brought it up himself. "i know how much you loved them... im sure no one would mind if you took the day off to go see them."

they're quick to shake their head despite the longing squeeze their heart gives. they want more than anything in this world to see them; they spent many nights dreaming of the exact moment. but they can't bring themself to actually do it. call them scared, call them a coward; they wouldn't deny it. not even if they wanted to.

"they wouldn't want to see me," they tell him, sending off a silent prayer that each word is a lie in itself. "i was so far removed from everything in their life already; they don't need the added stress."

out the corner of their eye, they see jesse's eyebrows shoot upward, aghast at the notion that they're in any way a problem. "you don't know that," he insists. "i think it'll be good for you, for them."

"i'll be fine," they say, cutting him off as they shut their locker. they turn to face him with a somewhat forced smile and sling their stethoscope around their neck. "we should get to work. those lives won't save themselves!"

without waiting for a response, alex steps around jesse and walks out of the room, stretching their smile to its limits as they get a start on rounds. their mind however goes back to mc, as it usually does on the slower days, no matter how hard they try to focus.

and in a weird, twisted way; they're more than okay with it.

#im so tired besties #can barely keep my eyes open at this point 🤪 #anyway meet jesse #ur rival love interest for alex #teehee #mm: alex #mirror mine

[slowpokegamer]

Crying and shaking pressing the "Your Tags" tab knowing I'm about to be blasted with pussy

#oh boy time to look at Jaskier's ta- #PUSSY!!!!!! HOLES!!!!!!! VAGINAS!!!!! HOLES!! HOLESS!!!!!!!!!! #im so tired besties

[wastelandbabyblue]

why can't brazil copy the us in like idk having halloween as a major holiday instead of storming government buildings because of a lunatic that couldn't give less of a shit about them

#im so tired besties

[robinfollies]

smth smth arthur gets sleepy when it’s cold…

#hi im CRAZY ABOUT THEM. BBU ART REQUEST STREAM TODAY I PAID 7 BUCKAROOS AND GOT AN ARTHURSTOTLE JUST FOR ME AND BESTIE TO MATCH WITH #they dropped the tidbit that arthur gets sleepy when it gets cold and i like #i grabbed that and i ran with it #came up with this while on a walk today and decided to scribble it out before i go to sleep #its literally spring. thr weather is warm IT WAS SO WARM TODAY. HELP #ROBIN NO DONT MAKE A COMIC ABOUT THE COLD IT WAS LIKE 20c TODAY ROBIN ROBIIIINNNN #anyways im so unbelievably normal about them can you tell #i love writing banter between them IT JUST COMES SO SO NATURALLY TO ME ITS SO MUCH FUN AUUGHHH #I CARE THEM SO BADLY. IM GOING TO THROW THEM INTO THE SUN #robin’s art #billie bust up #2024 art #bbu arthur #bbu aristotle #arthurstotle #comicfollies #<- new comic tag btw because i make quite a few of those apparently!! how silly #okay im tired goobmite!!! hearts hearts explosion

[spicyraeman]

It's just me and my 8 million blocked ship tags against the world (I am still unable to keep them off my dash)

#im so tired of it besties

[akademiyas]

day 17: piety

i miss barbara

#idk i think they should hang out #genshin impact #my art #diluc ragnvindr #aprilluc #its so sad how in barbaras voiceline she thinks diluc doesnt like her #i think they should be besties #also i dont think diluc prays often especially no i nthe cathedral n thats why barbara is so shocked #omg ex oomf in law! #can u tell im tired n just yapping

[soundwavemain]

Can't sleep. Finally caved and made a Two Birds edit. Decided to go a different route.

#im so tired i wanna sleep but i cannot so here teetle #i wanna give the poor kid a hug he really went through it in this movie #they all did so i need to hug them all right now so nickelodeon bring back rottmnt and we can have season 3 #anyways blah blah blah tell me your thoughts in the tag #MAN im tired donnie buddy i love you flat voiced bitch <3 #<- is a flat voiced bitch #no one understands our warrior's bond other than anyone else with a flat voice #rottmnt #tmnt #rise leo #rottmnt edit #save rottmnt #tmnt edit #tmnt leo #rottmnt leo #video #jay and karday this one goes out to you besties hope it rots your brain <- loving and malicious

[scuderiafemboy]

f1 lestappen database nini edition

notes: number 1) this can get outdated super easily… number 2) i also dont know how to link content as i dont use tumblr alot but upon request im remaking my twitter thread here number 3) im not putting the races in chronological order as im quite lazy

at the 2019 japanese gp, max and charles hit eachother into turn two.

max after the race on the crash:

“i just dont get it. there was no need to risk so much in turn two. cause at the end of the day, both of us had to pit.”

2019 austrian gp, 3 laps left into the race max overtook charles and won the grandprix.

charles at the postrace pressconference:

“as i said, ive done exactly the same thing from the first and the second lap so i didnt expect any contact on the second lap. as max said, i think he braked a little bit deeper. i dont know if he lost it or not but then there was the contact. i felt like i was quite strong in traction. on the first attempt i managed to have better traction and have my position. on the second one i couldnt do that cause i was off track.”

2019 silverstone gp, the race right after austria. max and charles closely battled for 10 laps straight

charles during the postrace press conference:

“the best move was probably the one on max, on the outside in copse, i think he just passed me and i passed him back around the outside of copse. i think that was definitely was one of the most exciting (moves) of the race… of my race!”

2020 sakhir gp, charles crashed into checo, forcing max to go wide and then also crash

max post race:

“i respect charles alot, hes a great driver but i think today was a bit too much. he asked me “what happened?” and i say “what do you mean “what happened” you crashed into sergio and i have to go around”. i think he will look back at the footage and i hope he will understand that that was maybe a bit too aggressive. which is a shame.”

charles on the beyond the grid podcast 2021, talking about his rivalry with max:

“its the same (their rivalry) at the moment its obviously a little bit deminished because i can not fight against him, unfortunately. but if you look at the fight in silverstone 2019, i think you can understand theres quite a bit of competition and its always been the case. i mean its nice; we have grown up together in karting weve been always fighting eachother and now we find ourselves again in formula 1. so its great and i cant wait to put the team back were it deserves to be and fight against max for the title.”

monaco gp 2021, during Q3 charles crashes which means max cant set a laptime

max postrace interview:

“he just clipped the wall initially and ended up where ive ended up twice [laughs] so its just unfortunate. ofcourse i am disappointed not to have a shot at pole but thats life, you know. sometimes you cant do it. i mean its fine, i dont think his lap should be deleted in the future if they want to make rule changes. i dont that would be fair.”

charles instagram post after the 2021 silverstone gp yes i am counting it too:

max saying he prefers his rivalry with charles over the one he has with lewis, 2022

max to sky italy:

"i prefer what we have now because, first of all, charles i know very well, hes a nice guy, we are a similar age… on saturday night, we even had a laugh in paul ricard... we are hard competitors on the track and we will always try to beat each other, which i think is very normal, but outside of it you can have a good time as well, and thats what i really enjoy about this year."

max debunking that charles never forgave him for austria 2019 and racing together with him, 2022

max in a video interview:

"i never speak about these things with other drivers, i mean, it happens. ive lost wins as well, and its not the end of the world, you move on. i think charles is one of the most talented drivers in formula 1, and he will win many more races… i would say back in the day it was a little bit more difficult, but also we were very young and growing up and you are fighting for the same goal, right? now that youre in formula 1, i think it is really different. you are representing really big brands. so we get on very well now. we can have a good chat and enjoy our battles, and i think thats very nice. knowing each other for such a long time helps. weve spent so much time together, in a way."

2022 hungarian gp, max told the hungarian press he understands charles his frustration after the 2022 french gp

max to the hungarian press:

“everyone handles that (their disappointment) in a different way. some people need to reflect on it like that. at the time youre still a bit emotional from what just happened and maybe become a bit too emotional, but thats fine, people should be emotional, they should show their emotions."

charles on fighting with italian site corriere della sera, 2022 this is not an official translation sorry but i can link the source

charles:

“i like to deal with max, we have a similar level of aggression. we have fun, with respect. im not saying that last year there was no respect between max and lewis, but it seemed like a different duel than ours. but if we were to get to the end of the championship very close in points, the situation would be much more tense than it is now.”

max, also for corriere della sera in 2022

max:

“i have known charles since we were five years old, we are of the same generation and we grew up challenging ourselves on the track.”

max to viaplay, 2023 after charles crashed during Q3 of the miami gp, meaning he couldnt set a time and had to start from P8 (this is a livetranslation of mine post qualifying, so the quote isnt 100% spot on but you get the gist)

max:

“the red flag was annoying, but it happens on streetcircuits. it just sucks, i will have to cope and move on.”

monaco gp, charles had an interview with canal+ for its 10 year anniversary with formula 1. he got asked to name 10 drivers hes the closest with

charles:

“pierre without a doubt, carlos, lando, george, alex albon, yuki, lewis, max aswell eventhough most people dont think its the case but it is! esteban, and lance.”

this is it for now, i am a bit tired but thank the tumblr lords you can change posts later on so i can update it with ease later on. enjoys besties 🫡

#f1 #formula 1 #max verstappen #verstappen #scuderiafemboy #charles leclerc #leclerc #lestappen #1633 #ferrari #redbull racing #making this drained the life out of me #im so tired #but this is for the people who wanted it #live laugh love lestappen #oh right happy pride month besties

[fatuismooches]

WEBBYMEOW CAME TODAY!!!!!

#smooches talks #HES SO POOKIELICIOUS! #ignore the bad quality pls im so tired #BUT HES SO CUTE AND SOFT #(his mask snapped while i was trying to put it on but its alright) #thank u to my bestie for buying him for me once again... i give u many hugs and smooches... #anyway this is my collection so far... i also have foxttore stickers and a dottore pin on my bag... #i also had his earring as a keychain but it broke.

[gothoffspring]

You dont need to make renders to have your posts be appreciated! If all you do is post your screenshots, no editing at all, you're still extremely valid. If you don't feel like painting individual hair strands, adding custom lighting/shadows, learning how to meticulously edit things, I still want to see what you have to post. Some of the edits and talent I've seen on simblr is out of this world. But I feel like it's also important to have some validation for people who don't like editing, and still want to share their sims with us. Obviously renders and highly edited posts are the norm and whats most popular, but it doesent make anyone else's posts less worthy of being liked/reblogged. 💗

#this post is 500% for myself #im so tired of feeling like i NEED to learn blender and meticulously edit every single post i make #i dont ever want to touch blender i dont want to paint hair strands or make my own poses or add highlight and contour #i would love to actually start a sim story but i dont have it in me to make my own poses and edit posts like the popular storyteller simblr #its just not me #anyways yall are talented this is NOT me hating on ppl who make edits like that #i just dont have it in me besties 😣😂💗

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 748: The sixth and seventh place

Pag 1

1: Keep it up, Rokudai!!

It's past 9pm!!

2: Three hours left....!!

Until we complete the 1000km... there are still

3: 60km!!

Yeah!!

Pag 2

1: 20km in an hour... if we can run 4 laps per hour, we can do it!!

We can reach 1000km!!

Pag 3

1: Yeah!!

4: We can do it!!

Yeah!!

5: Gooo!! Do your best!!

55km left!! Go!!

Will their bottles be enough....

6: Those two can do it

Will they really complete the 1000km? Kinaka and Rokudai

Even though they're first years!!

Pag 4

1: There was also a moment where he seemed to be having a tough time, but Kinaka encouraged him

They looked so fired up now, right!?

They got back up!!

The look in their eyes was terrific!!

2: Sugimoto ran with determination

3: But... this fight is...

He... Sugimoto knows all that well

He's fighting understanding that

4: Kuaaaa

5: Garuaaa

Pag 5

1: It was probably the same for Danchiku

2: Danchiku watched Sohoku running for two years

And Sugimoto for three years....!!

4: So they chose that race!!

Pag 6

1: They chose to fight!!

3: Are you an idiot... Sugimoto

4: If you ... wanted to run with me at our third and last Inter High, you could have stuck behind me, easily, and take the goal that way

5: and become... a member... the “sixth man”

Pag 7

1: You chose a harsh way

2: You were thinking about the team....

4: You were thinking about what you needed to do....

5: That's just like you....

6: You know, Imaizumi, I think, I think it's necessary

7: For our third Inter High members this year, we definitely....!!

Pag 8

2: It's 10pm!!

40km left!!

Pag 9

2: Yeah!!

4: We can do it, Rokudai!!

Yeah!

Let's go, Rokudai!!

Yeah!

5: I confirmed it earlier when we passed through the goal – it's good news, so be glad!!

Yeah!

6: Good news!? Teh!?

7: We have already surpassed the third year Sugimoto-san!!

Pag 10

1: Huh!?

Is he resting? Or is he preserving his strength? We don't know, but anyway it looks like right now Sugimoto-san isn't on the course!!

2: For now, we....

3: Are sixth and seventh place

The “sixth place”....

4: Will become one of the Inter High members!!

Pag 11

1: Mem....

Really!?

2: Wait, teh, I'm getting dizzy

That... wouldn't that be amazing, teh!?

3: It's an hypothesis but, even if Sugimoto-san wants to chase us from here on, there's a “surpassing ban board”, so if we keep running then he can't catch up to us!!

And we'll secure the “sixth place”!!

4: You're so smart, Kinaka-kun!!

5: Right?!

6: Waaaa

A member... it's almost within reach, teh.... that's incredible, teh...!!

Pag 12

1: I'm so glad, teh, Kinaka-kun!!

Yeah!!

No, it's too soon to cry!!

2: I'm so glad we kept on running

There are still 40km left!! Don't lose your pace!!

3: Tears are for after the finish line!!

4: Ahh, it's here, teh... a blan comment, it's been a while

Oi!! I cheer you up and yet you hit me!!

5: But now it touches my heart!!

It's thanks to your encouragement, Kinaka-kun, that I arrived here, teh!!

6: Uhm!!

Pag 13

1: Let's aim for the Inter High!!

Yeah!!

3: Go

4: Go, Rokudai

Pag 14

1: It's only 40km left.... you can do it on your own, Rokudai

2: It hurts-!!

3: I reached my limit for the pain

All the “let's go”, “let's do it” and the encouragement were to deceive you

4: I had to

I've been having leg cramps for a while

5: The “Inter High”

6: Even though it's right before my eyes

It's so frustrating

Pag 15

2: Wha- Rokudai

You moved back before I noticed...

3: If you're tired and need to slow down, tell me it, teh

I'll push you and help you!!

4: Don't underestimate the “helping ability” of a former manager, teh!!

Pag 16

1: Rokudai!!

5: Rokudaiii!!

6: You mean to say “let's still go”!?

7: Is it connecting possibilities? Rokudai's hand!!

Pag 17

1: Don't cry, Kinaka Tsugunao, crying is for after the finish line!!

2: Ah!!

3: Alright, the climb is over, I'll pull you on the downhill!!

4: Yeah, teh!!

Pag 18

1: Waa-teh!? Suddenly I can't keep my balance!!

2: Rokudai!?

3: A flat tire!!

4: Huh, a flat tire!?

Your tires are screaming for the 1000km

Ahh

Dammit!! Mechanical troubles in a time like this!!

5: The tools to repair a flat tire are only at the goal!!

But with a flat tire, on the downhill....!!

We have no choice but to push it slowly downhill!!

Pag 19

1: Hurry!!

2: Ugh-

3: If we go so slow, Sugimoto-san might come!!

4: Sugimoto-san is chasing us, teh!!

Pag 20

1: Sugimoto won't come

2: I've come to bring you a message from Sugimoto

#yowamushi pedal #yowapeda #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 748 #my babieeeeees theyre so sweet i love them so much ;A; #we all know that rokudai will be the sixth man in the end #as much as i would have wanted both him and kinaka on the team :') #but still this whole chapter was so so sweet ;A; my adorable lovely sweet first years besties #kinaka encouraging roku-chan the whole time to fire him up bc he knows he himself can't do it ;A; #and roku being like 'nope not on my watch! we can do it together!' #THEYRE BUDDIES! THEYRE BESTIES! THEY'RE EACH OTHER'S PRECIOUS AND RELIABLE BEST FRIEND!! #yowapeda has some of the best friendships in all the sport mangas ive read #im gonna cry for how much i love these kids :') #now imaizumi has arrived to help roku with the flat tires im assuming #since it looks like he's carrying something #kinda like junta with onoda during first years #also ima still thinking about sugimoto ;-; #sugimoto is literally the second person after onoda that imaizumi has openly shown affection to ;A; #imma cry ;A; #also naruko who keeps watching imaizumi because he knows :eyes emoji: #sorry nothing can distract my imanaru heart lmao

[thegirlsarethriving]

just finished undertale. ok i see the vision. i now understand yall's Sans-to-Benrey obsession pipeline. and the Papyrus-to-Tommy Coolatta pipeline

#undertale #hlvrai #hlvrai2 #benrey #tommy coolatta #papyrus #benry #hlvrai benry #sans undertale #sans #undertale sans #undertale spoilers #i loved Papyrus so much and the whole time i was playing i was like hmm he reminds me of someone...? TOMMY. HE REMINDS ME. OF TOMMY. #i played pacifist but i saw how if u kill every1 n spare Papyrus Sans tells him every1 else is on a vacation bc truth would be too hard #file under: lies Gordon would tell Tommy if anything happened to Sunkist or his dad Gman #we wanna protect Tommy but on the other hand. the horrors r everywhere & Tommy go ham with a gun (he's terrified & acting on pure instinct) #(even tho Tommy has definitely faced his share of horrors in contrast to how Papyrus's loved ones try to shelter him from bloodshed) #i wanna write a paper psychoanalyzing Sans and Benrey in comparison to each other SOOOOO badly #it's been a hot minute since i last watched hlvrai (have seen it at least 4 times but not recently. did watch bbvrai live tho!) #im so extremely tired rn so i can't form proper thoughts :( but like: #they both have unfathomable otherworldly power and knowledge of their respective universes #but u wouldn't know it bc they're presented as just some chill guy who likes to make jokes and Vibe man #sike! they're a being of elderitch levels of power #they both act in accordance to game code but Sans can control parts of it (can see the timeline) while Benrey is much more subject to it #in some ways they are the antithesis of each other's motives but also contain the same vibes (all-powerful guy laidback n funny final boss) #Sans is judgment but doesn't interfere with the timeline. Benrey takes action that's “i knew this was gonna happen” #Benrey is fought as the final villain whereas Sans is arguably the final hero fight #anyways THEIR VIBES ARE BOTH SO !!!!!!!!!!!!! #idk if they'd be besties or mortal enemies #they can bond over being “unserious” (but they both take their true jobs very seriously. security guard and judgment bringer respectively)

[llitchilitchi]

I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad! #but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!! #but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem. #idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.' #'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding' #like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

[httpiastri]

Good morning babe 🥰🥰🥰

(I’ll take no responsibility of how you’ll react to this pic… I’m staring at his neck for days now and decided today is a great day to share it with you 🤭)

(The way I’m obsessed with his neck is insane, you’d thought I’m a vampire in disguise based on how much I want to bite and suck on that thick neck 😭 leaving marks behind, kissing & licking them better 🫠🫠🫠🫠)

(My horny ass can’t be stopped if it’s about him)

(when I say Silvo was my fav weekend, this is one of the reasons 😩 - and his amazing performance ofc.)

(His hair is sooo long here too I want to run my fingers through it, grabbing it gently also to move his head aside to have more access to attack his neck 🫠🫠🫠)

Okay I’m done, I’ve said what I said 🫣 sorry not sorry

ohooooooo noooo… this………………… this has made me feel so many things…….. i feel unwell

#what the frickkkkk #oscaaaaaar #this is just #w o w #the adams apple #just insane #I think you should take full responsibility of how i gasped out loud in class 😶 #i was so so tired this morning (miiiiight have stayed up very late to watch paul arom videos…..) but this made me fully awake #im now very #AAAAAAAA #haven’t been able to stop thinking about this #i too feel like a vampire #the hair is crazy too #I love this tons tons tons #thank you for sending it to me #(also bestie !!! do ur dms work now??) #(this is not in any way meant to tell you to answer me bcs i take too long to answer lmao i just wanted to know bcs i said something in my #last message) #okay bye <33 #asks! #formulola! #twinkodium! #osc hands osc neck osc arms

[spicyraeman]

*juiced up on enough caffeine to kill a small child* what if I took a nap rn

#im so fuckin tired besties #i cant stay asleep for more than 2 hours #but the moment im awake for more than 10 min im dying to go back to bed

[snixx]

feeling like no one around you cares is such a shitty feeling and it never fully goes away. everyone leaves you and nothing lasts and I'm tired of carrying this aching loneliness everywhere with me and overinvesting in people who just don't give a shit

#kinda feels like I'm failing at everything tbh #my grades are painfully average #my quote unquote best friend of twelve years hasn't spoken to me in months #im pretty sure the girl i thought was my college bestie is avoiding me or at the very least constantly flaking on me #i don't have the energy to reply to anyone and have like a zillion unread chats #it feels like people only talk to me when they need me and I'm so tired of it #im tired of everyone in college forming their super exclusive groups that i can never get into #and blowing me off for shit they won't let me come to #it kinda makes me hate myself a little which is an emotion i haven't felt in years #like what is it about me that is so fundamentally unlikeable that doesn't let me ever feel like I'm not lonely #i just can't #and it's not something i can change #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com