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the-owl-tree · 1 year

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I know you haven't posted a profile leader of the isekai girls' clan yet, and if you don't have all the details for them ironed out yet (besides Honeypaw and Frostblaze both being the leaders kits) that's all good. But while looking at your latest post about the au, it got me thinking: how do you think the leader feels about 'Honeypaw''s sudden personality change, unnatural (because they're human moves) new fighting style, and tendency to walk on her hind legs? Because I'd imagine even if they weren't particularly close before Honey replaced her, it'd definitely be eyebrow raising to someone who knew her beforehand.

i'll definitely be putting the parents on my to-do list since I have thought of them, mainly because my inspiration is a mix of things that made go oooh yes or pissed me off so badly i stole them JUST to tear them apart in this lol

Honeypaw's relationship with her father, Owlstar, is strained. His relationship with her mother is purely political: he wants an heir, she wanted to join their Clan. In the books (from Frostblaze's perspective), he's written as an aloof but noble cat who can be stern but only because he cares. In the "real" world of the book...he's a standoffish, absent father who cares little about Honeypaw (due to her lack of resemblance to him) and often speaks of his disappointment (despite him having little presence in her life to guide her).

When the real Honeypaw is killed, he is sad and he does grieve...but doesn't stay for the ceremony. When she does come, he's happy! He welcomes her, nuzzles her in greeting, and visits her in the medic's den as she recovers...but it's also stilted, awkward, and suffocating for them both. He says very little and sometimes scolds her for her recklessness (and while in the book this is passed off as him "caring but struggling show it", in practice...it just comes off as apathy to Honey & Honeypaw).

I'd imagine her first few moons of weirdness is him passing it off as a cry for attention until it continues...and not only does she no longer seek his approval, she actively avoids him. Honey would realize his and Honeypaw's relationship is strained pretty early on and, to keep Honeypaw from being in a bad mood and also to avoid having her own father scold her (her body more than her soul), basically stays out of his way.

I can't imagine he'd investigate too much, he's more preoccupied with his successful heir (even if he can't reveal her yet). It's only when Honeypaw continues to poke around, find out more secrets than she's supposed to that he begins to really question what's going on.

Honeypaw's mother, Beesnap, is also different than in her story form. In the book, she's written as a volatile, self-absorbed mother who defends Honeypaw with her fierce temper no matter what her daughter does. When Honey actually meets her? Beesnap is a rogue-born she-cat and her status as truly a member of the Clan is always being questioned. As a result of being isolated and demeaned, she put on a facade of confidence and snootiness, intent on not letting them get to her. When Honeykit was born, her only daughter, she vowed to make sure her child had a better life in the Clan than she'd be given - resulting in her fierce outbursts to defend her child. Owlstar is absent in Honeypaw's life and that only made Beesnap more focused on protecting her.

Beesnap knows something's going on with her kid but doesn't confront her for some reason. She becomes a cat that Honey goes to advice to often when Splashpaw is busy. Eventually I think Honey does try to reveal the truth...but Beesnap probably doesn't take the fact that her beloved daughter's been body snatched very well.

Her unnatural behavior does freak them both out, Beesnap keeps having to whisper for her daughter to stOP WALKING LIKE THAT EVERYONE IS STARING AT YOU-

ty for asking!! i kind of went off topic but your question got me thinking so i ended up rambling lol both of these guys are mainly inspired from how wc and these specific webcomics treat parents and i think that shows

#honey's horrible time #warrior cats #wc isekai au #deer rambles #see worst trope ever is the absent dad who actually cares #because these stories LOOOVVEEE that trope #and it's almost always framed as tho “the previous body was so awful even her dad couldnt love her”#<- like stfu if he wanted to be disappointed in her he COULD'VE TRIED TO BE A DAD FIRST AND FOREMOST #and the mothers almost always get the short end #so many portray them as abusive gold diggers like holy shiiiitt #it's a side effect of having noble blood = super special rare powers #which is always shitty and bad and awful and i hope that trope diieeesss #like even when the villainess comics do this #they always end up looking to the “oh the villainness actually does have super special powers because she's got the ~special blood~”#like i'll maim you i'll maim you i hate it

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dollypopup · 8 months

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I think it's real obvious that if you actually like Colin you don't belong in the Polin fandom. y'all are all so ableist about him and think the absolute worst of him and a huge number of the posts and fics are romanticizing Penelope straight up abusing him

we should make a new tag because this one is NOT it

#polin #bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #there's a fun new trend in fics where instead of 'just' emotionally and mentally abusing him Penelope is now hitting him too #and the narrative justifies it and colin thinks it's his fault she hits him and everyone cheers in the comments isn't that great?#oh did i say great? i meant fucking awful #you can tell this fandom is painfully tradwife levels straight because they think women who do this shit is cute or harmless #us queer women who have been abused by other women know damn well fanon penelope is the kind of girl you run away from with a swiftness #but colin's just a big stupid dummy for 1 (one) comment and not assuming her feelings for him so he needs to be slapped around i guess #i hate it here #burn the whole fandom to the ground and start from scratch #and we're SURPRISED there's an anti-polin blog? WE'RE anti-polin ffs #everyone and their mother knows 'Polin' actively hates half their ship #and are incredibly hostile to anyone who doesn't slobber all over penelope's shoes as she mistreats her supposed love interest and friends #and yeah i'm bitter about it #also i'll say it: the way we talk about Luke Newton is fucking unacceptable too #he's a neurodivergent man and some of the shit y'all say is DISGUSTING #this fandom is actively antagonistic to nd peeps

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godblooded · 7 months

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also yes lord i am unapologetically a hater. for anyone who isn’t aware. this is what happens when you’ve been in fandom for so long and you NEVER like the popular one.

#ooc. o kaptain.#[I need to be critical for the legions of fucking people who refuse to be critical. and the kicker is! I wouldn’t even hate him! if he wasnt #everyone’s uwu precious baby baby! you know what kind of garbage shit that is? like come on guys he is objectively a piece of shit like 2/3 #of the way and like. if ‘trauma informs how you act!’ we should also be applying it to laezel who has been idk viciously physically and #emotionally abused and also comes from a culture that has literally raised her to be hateful by never showing or teaching her compassion!!#because the gith are fucking AWFUL to each other most of the time!! she’s an asshole because she has been raised to literaly be an asshole!!#but uwu astarion so funny he hates good things uwu silly vamp boy. like fuck you’re all so weak. laezel is the superior asshole.]#negative /#astarion critical /

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arowrath · 4 months

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man. remember when i was like 15 and my blog thesis was "repeatedly denying that obviously abusive behaviors are abusive bc the abuser is mentally ill and saying it's ableist to call it what it is is probably a bad take to have fiction or not bc u internalize that shit and it could make ur or other ppl not able to see that theyre being victimized" And remember when i was 16 and started dating my ex and was still actively engaging in that discourse hearing that rhetoric every single day so when my ex started being straight up awful towards me i was like Well shes mentally ill so it should be okay right like i'm probably just being ableist And then i stayed in that relationship fgor twice as long as i wouldve if i hadnt been absorbing that shit like a mentally ill sponge. sort of vindicating in retrospect if i look past how deeply infuriating it is. i was fucking right the whole time my ex didnt even have to gaslight me i had anonymous asks on tumblr dot com doing that

#text #abuse tw #LIKE IT WAS FUCKING CRAZY .#i specifically remember one morning after my ex had used her mental illness to be manipulative and awful towards me #logging online and getting an ask like 'you cant call connor abusive he literally has a mental illness and cant control his actions'#and just being like 'Man i know that's bullshit in this specific context because i;ve been arguing about this online for a year #but it's probably true in my interpersonal life'#crazy shit. Have i mentioned i hate the d.ear e.van h.ansen fandom so much it's unreal.#<- at least as it existed 2017-2020. i dont know how it's doing now and i'm not gonna check

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astral-catastrophe · 9 months

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Wish I could block very specific posts about botw Zelda…

#Like. I’m not the biggest fan of her pre calamity because she reminded me of someone who was awful to me #Then havingto see posts that are all about hating on her jusy because she’s a woman who actually does stuff #Like no I don’t hate her #And I definitely don’t hate her bc of her accent or the science thing or even for the fact that she yelled at link!(which are all reasons I #Have seen people hate on her for! ) No I don’t care about that #It’s just annoying to me because when I first started this game she reminded me of someone who emotionally abused me #But seeing her character change during the memories and how she and Link must have grown together is nice #She’s different than the person I hate when I look deeper at the actual game and memory contents #But I can’t stop thinking about how I didnt Like her at first bc of that person #So I feel like a shit human whenever I see those posts #Anyway this is fuckign stupid and I hate this fandom sometimes

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inamindfarfaraway · 1 year

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Perhaps the funniest League of Legends character interaction that's also highly plausible in-universe, thematically appropriate and emotionally charged is Rell and Veigar teaming up.

They’re both extremely magically strong and skilled. Rell controls metal, a product of the earth from which she can directly rip ore. Veigar draws his celestial magic from the stars.

They both have dark, tragic backstories: because of their magical talent, they were taken into custody by powerful, corrupt Noxian authorities, isolated, abused and forced to use their magic harmfully for a long time, at least relative to their respective lives. This traumatized and broke them so much that they now see inflicting pain as the only thing they’re good at, even capable of. They have no friends. They've never known or have forgotten what it feels like to be loved, joyful or carefree. All they were left with once free was so much guilt and grief and so much power. From that, they have forged new identities - roles to play - built around singular, combative ambitions that they cannot imagine lives or futures beyond. Rell identifies as a gritty, edgy antihero, having noble intentions but using brutal, destructive and downright gruesome methods. Veigar identifies as a villain, but is good at heart despite not comprehending this himself.

They’re both currently roaming around the Noxian countryside in order to find and defeat as many powerful, corrupt Noxian authorities who mistreat people as they can. Rell does this to make the guilty pay for their crimes and liberate and protect the oppressed. Veigar does it to replace the authority and prove that his evil is greater and cooler than theirs, but in practice doesn’t really bother hurting anyone innocent and just ends up making the guilty pay for their crimes and liberating and protecting the oppressed.

They’re both connected to Mordekaiser, and would be primary enemies of him holding personal grudges if his plot about trying to dominate Runeterra is ever developed. Rell was such an important project for the Black Rose because they hoped that she would be able to defeat Mordekaiser. He embodies everything she stands against. Mordekaiser was Veigar’s captor and abuser, responsible for who he is today. Rell can manipulate metal; Veigar wields incredible cosmic magic; and Mordekaiser is a magical suit of armour, so if anyone can finish him off, it’s these two working together.

Rell is practical, pragmatic, cynical and consumed by bloodthirsty, vengeful rage. Veigar clings to and imitates an immature ideal of Villainy, fashioning his outfit after Mordekaiser’s stereotypical fantasy evil overlord aesthetic, his behaviour after all the most theatrical tropes that archetype can be associated with and having very dramatic and flashy magic, but inwardly lacks the cruelty (not to mention dignity) to back that presentation up.

They both want the Noxian people to respect them as a threat. Rell has wanted posters and become widely feared by the elite army less than a year since her escape. Veigar has been ‘conquering’ for centuries and is still not taken seriously.

Their respective magic colours are yellow and purple, and the rest of both of their colour palettes is grey, silver and black.

Everything about Rell is played completely straight. Almost everything about Veigar is played for comedy.

Rell could come across a village that Veigar has seized and accidentally benefitted, like Boleham in his story on the website, and try to challenge him. Or they could both arrive to kill the same tyrannical warlord at the same time. She realizes that he is a) really bad at being bad, b) just a silly little guy and c) an extremely useful asset to her quest.

So she directs him at the Black Rose and they go and utterly fuck Noxis up while helping the downtrodden. There's so much comedy to get out of their contrasting personalities and perspectives. Rell always acts like the protagonist of a grim, action-packed young adult dystopian series and Veigar is standing right next to her emanating campy children's cartoon villain energy; they both think the story is a different genre and the acting and tone should reflect that. This premise is hysterical with the proper execution.

But it isn't just funny! They can genuinely bond and learn, or in Veigar's case remember, what loving and being loved is, and begin to process their trauma and help each other cope with their C-PTSD and be kinder to themselves and have fun and become fulfilled. And then kill Mordekaiser, whose return is one of the subplots. And then live happy, safe, peaceful lives together, because they were never meant for all this violence.

Other subplots besides Mordekaiser include LeBlanc, Rell's mother and the Black Rose's operations; the wider Noxian politics they tie into; Samirah hunting Rell; Annie also wandering around Noxis causing trouble and eventually getting adopted by Rell as a little sister (they deserve it); maybe the story of a Yordle who knew Veigar before and thus can supply some of his backstory that he's forgotten, a 'normal Yordle' foil to him; and generally lots of Noxian and Yordle worldbuilding and lore.

While I'm talking about Veigar, here are my ideas for a redesign of him, because his design is... not that great:

As yordles are generally animalistic or at least furry, he strongly resembles a black cat, with gold eyes with slit pupils and a dark purple nose. Black cats are associated with the supernatural, magical arts and misfortune, they're bad omens to some, but they're also fluffy little babies. He is covered in fur. You want to scratch his checks. You want to kiss his little forehead. He's so adorable and he hates it. His large pointy ears, visible under the brim of his hat, move to signal his emotions for more expressive animation. They both have notches, which help him look pitiable and allude to his past as a prisoner and victim of abuse. He has big 'weathered street cat hissing and growling at you when you try to pet it because it's reflexively afraid of people and shows that through aggression' energy.

@ohnoitstbskyen's idea in his "What's the deal with Veigar?" video that Veigar's face (his cute kitty face!) is never fully in the shadow of his hat despite him trying to look mysterious and ominous is brilliant. He’s very lively, since he acts like a classic cartoon villain who’s so excited and gleeful about being evil, so he has a habit of jostling his hat or lifting his head to reveal his whole face and then hastily pulling the hat back down.

His robe no longer has the spiked metal hem and is of a soft, loose, flowing fabric. It’s dark indigo with silver sparkles all over it like he’s wearing the night sky, in homage to the stars he draws his power from. Except the beautiful pattern is interrupted and partly obscured by a leather belt - not spiked and black, a bolder and more ‘evil’ colour than brown and a Noxian colour - with a tasteless spiky silver buckle that clashes with the stars. I love what TB Skyen said about the armour and spikes working best as a parody of Mordekaiser’s aesthetic, so I want those aspects to look tacked on and out of place. To feel wrong. Inadvertently on Veigar’s part, but deliberately in a meta sense. Between the robe, his big purple wizard hat matching his nose that also makes his body look smaller and cuter and the black cat associations, you’ve got a perfectly good yordle celestial mage design; but the influence of Mordekaiser is intruding on it, corrupting it, even. That is the clear conflict of this design. While the robe is comfortable, the armour doesn’t appear to be. This impression is helped by it all being at least a little oversized, because Noxian armour doesn’t come in yordle size and therefore Veigar has cobbled his together out of scraps he scavenged (I mean, he STOLE, how wicked) and he isn’t really a great blacksmith. His boots aren’t clown shoes or anything, but they’re big enough that his attempt at an imposing villainous stride is awkwardly clunky. They could have black leather straps on them to hold them tighter than their metal fasteners will allow. His spiked pauldrons were cut out of human ones and still jut out too much, one of them having an irregular shape that gives him a dash of Noxian asymmetry and marks him further as a flawed imitation of a fantasy supervillain. The message that he’s incompetent at something and did it anyway out of passion, perhaps not even realizing his mistakes or at least too proud to acknowledge them, makes him come across as comedic and yet an endearingly earnest, hardworking underdog, and adds to the surprise of his genuine incredible cosmic power - he couldn’t learn to smith properly before forging his own armour, but he can command the energy of the stars to smite you? Yeah. That’s Veigar. There’s one silver ring around the base of his hat that has five spikes on it, thick, long and evenly positioned so that from above, they form a star shape. Specifically, an inverted star with one spike pointing directly forward. Symbolism! His belt buckle could also be an inverted star to establish that as a motif of his; it’s spiky, but more personal and iconic than just spikes themselves.

Moving onto Rell... she has her sigils. I don't know why she doesn't in her model or artwork, they're such a crucial part of her character design! Her biography and short story both bring them up. There are even bare sections of her arms, which would only make sense if her sigils were visible in them because it's impractical and she's so averse to vulnerability, but the sigils are missing? What? Why, Riot? So yeah, in my redesign she has sigils right down both her arms. A few more recent ones are on her back (symbolic of her betrayal by her family, the Black Rose and the government). They're always hidden, even in her lighter armour on horseback, as she's deeply uncomfortable around the concept of being exposed and seeing them herself. We and Veigar only see them in dramatic character exploration scenes when a) she feels safe enough to take her armour off, b) she needs to due to injury or to hide her identity or c) someone else damages or removes her armour. Taking TB Skyen's advice again, her outer armour and therefore horse are spikier and less polished and regular, products of her undiluted heartbroken rage in the moment she destroyed the academy. They're highly distinctive, almost organic-feeling and definitely don't look like the work of a smith.

#i NEED this dynamic do you understand me?#almost everyone recognizes rell on sight or when she uses her magic and reacts with fear and awe #and veigar always gets something like *blank stare* '...who are you?'#'oh god it's the iron maiden! and... a little furry magician?'#'wow rell you got a pet?'#and he goes ballistic and whines and stamps his little foot #he insists that he has the title 'veigar the terrible' even though nobody ever calls him that except to humour him #rell even says it to cheer him up once they have a solid rapport #after seeing veigar evolve from bad at being bad to good at being good she eventually asks #'why do you think you're evil? because evil is about hurting people who don't deserve it and you only seem to hurt people who do'#and he gets all broody - not in a funny way this time legitimately serious - and says in a truly broken haunted voice #'you know nothing of my deeds. i have done Terrible things and so i will always be veigar the terrible'#referring to what mordekaiser made him do during his imprisonment #and instead of sounding silly like every time before it's like 'oh. oh. he Hates Himself'#and rell says thinking of her fights with other kids that led to them being nullified #'yeah but i was made to do some terrible things too and that doesn't make me rell the terrible... does it?'#and her voice cracks and her eyes well up and she's sixteen #and suddenly the wacky buddy vigilante sitcom adventure is two survivors of abuse believing themselves to be unlovable #do you see my vision? DO YOU SEE IT?#title idea is 'terrors of noxis'#rell #lol rell #veigar #lol veigar #noxis #league of legends #legends of runeterra #runeterra

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wygolvillage · 1 year

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seeing a "carmilla bracket" with netflixvania carmilla as one of the semifinalists... hm. violence

#she shouldnt even qualify considering how much her writing disrespects the legacy of the character #they straightwashed her and made her sole reference to sapphic attraction a joke comparing it to *bestiality*#and they made her a sick parody of a 'strong female character' with her whole personality being a hatred of men #thats portrayed as petty immature and crazt #*crazy #even worse considering netflixvania carmilla is a former abuse victim #and the show was written by an alleged abuser #like. fucks sake. carmilla bracket. wtf #im sick of being quiet about it. how can no one see how awful that depiction of the character is except for me.#i hate going on youtube and every video thats about the novel has to shove in some reference to netflixvania #im SICK of it #like sure you can call the original novel and many of its adaptations lesbophobic in the 'predatory lesbian' sense #but like. a lot of lesbians CAN see themselves in her and its a really important novel regardless and not all rep is gonna be wholesome #but netflixvania is just blatantly lesbophobic in a really vile way. its not rep.

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bootyful-seventeen · 8 months

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hey y'all, anyone have any good stress relief tehniques or habits they'd like to share cuz I've been more stressed in the last 3 weeks then I was in the last 6 months

#to cut the long story short my mom had to sell the old house cuz her broke ass couldnt afford to keep it up #eventho it is a whole ass hoarders house and was in shambles with a flooded basement a collapsing ceiling in at least 2 rooms plus mold #and the stench a dirt and dog piss and shit all over the floor really made it worse then it was #but yeah so shes been staying with me and my grandma and its been awful #she hasnt been taking any of the medicine the doctors gave her when she snapped and started a fight and also started screaming at neighbour #so shes been terrorizing us here while the house has become her second hoarders den since she dragged so much crap here #my backyard side entrance and front porch are full of her shit and my grandma hates it since she can barely step into the house #so since she kept looking for places way out of her budget i had to go do house hunting since my useless sister is busy getting lit again #so ive been showing her shit in her price range that was under 420k cuz im not a moron who looks at 800k homes when i have 570k #and each time she has a new complaint saying its too expenive or its too small or its too old when she said she wants to do renovations #but shes saying she wants to renovate a newly renovated place instead of an old one #so i just showed her a house near my sisters uni and she liked the inside & backyard but she complained that 400k for newly renovated 3 bed #that is literally a 9 minute drive from my sisters uni is too expensive when shes the one who was looking at an old ass unrenovated bungalo #that is a street over from us that is 800k and she says it looks like garbage cuz an old lady previously owned it before dying #like no shit it looks old cuz older people lived those decades and like it and she just keeps doing her bullshit again & again #cuz when i tell you her mind is gone i mean it is GONE and she starts up all these wild stories to just explain some shit #like something goes missing? the neighbours are hungarian and stole it and left the hoard of junk in her old house #she has more stupid stories to harass and stress us out with but if im gonna share that ill have to write a book about it cuz fuck #and you know its bad when no one else can stand being in any contact with her cuz she starts screaming at people about it #so the only one who even likes her anymore is my sister and thats cuz shes deep in denial about just how insane she is & how abusive she is #so yeah i need some stress relief help that maybe isnt constantly hitting up maryjane cuz i dont do weed often especially since shes here #cuz weed 'burns your brain & makes you crazy like this' when shes the only one whos ever infuriated me to astronimical levels #i know retail therapy helped before she came here but i dont want to keep spending money i dont really have #it would be great tho but shes refusing to give me the 70k she said was mine from the house sale so i can cut her out for good

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deadlittledogs · 9 months

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the ladies in ur area are missing out big time >:(

it’s cuz they’re all soft cottagecore bisexual lites and want kissing girls to be like fluffy marshmallows and fairies and farmers market trips. They don’t want to kiss with blood & teeth and fuck like wolves and sleep together in a cotton warm hotel room 3 states over from where you came from because the police are on your ass and all there’s left to do is lay on the sullied mattress and share a cigarette and promise that you’ll meet each other again in the next life.

#when I go on dating apps and see a ‘sapphic’ woman with mushroom earrings and a bob cut and farmers market basket my dick shrivels up #you know that image of the girl sitting on the other girls lap and doing her makeup?#that picture is awful. I hate it.#I DONT WANT WHATEVER THOSE VIBES ARE #i just want a small town romance with another sloppy weird girl #and we’re both cringe and probably don’t do our laundry enough #and we just fuck around and argue and make out and go sit in the woods all day #ideal relationship is ginger & bridgette but without the lowkey abuse and ginger going straight lel

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cruelsister-moved2 · 9 months

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watching sailor moon and learning about the scrapped SuperS movie script makes it so obvious ikuhara literally just thinks masculine women are really cool and understands that a lot of girls admire them and enjoy seeing masc/fem lesbian relationships lol so it makes peoples one-note analysis of utena's masculinity fall even flatter than before bc you really shouldnt be overlooking the commitment to like extremely positive portrayals of female masculinity in his work just to be like "we're ALL princes and princesses in the end!!!11!!!!!" forthe billionth time

#somepost i lost on here abt how beauty or stuff lookign appealing is like morally neutral in rgu #awful stuff is shown beautifully and to a lesser extent vice versa #which plays really well with the themes about abuse etc bc of the cultural expectation that abuse looks ugly blinding ppl to the reality of #it.#but yeah like u cant overlook the fact that utena simply is masculine because its cool and she likes it. youre literally not invited at any #point to ponder any kind of Deeper Meaning to her masculinity #and it invites you to think about so many things but its so clear tha tlike she just is masc #and both times shes shown in feminine clothing as an adult #it says this. ESPECIALLY the first time literally a whole ep devoted to wakaba telling you that she just IS masc. i hate it here guys

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kyouka-supremacy · 2 years

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what are your opinions on ch14? its one of my fav chapters tbqh so im curious to know why u didnt like it initially and what changed

Thank you for this question! Writing down your thoughts is always fun eheh. Predictable negativity on bsd storytelling and Higuchi characterization under the cut, so please don't read if that's something possible to ruin your mood!!

So here's the thing. We need a bit of context first. Okay, you might know I'm not a big fan of bsd's poor female characters writing in general. My first contact with chapter 14 was when I was watching the bsd anime for the first time. Higuchi is introduced as this woman who is very cool!!! She lured the main character into a trap, pulled out these massive riffles and started shooting everywhere. It was nice. Then, she's badly mistreated by Akutagawa, and it's gross; Higuchi's relationship with Akutagawa is so fucked up. And then the following episode 11 (that is the corresponding of chapter 14) is all about it, about Higuchi's fucked up relationship with Akutagawa, but like... Romanticizing it? Saying it's good for this woman to stay at her work place where she's made miserable on daily basis?

What's most distasteful isn't the beating up itself from Akutagawa, although that is sure to leave a very bitter taste (after all, as a shonen-ish series, violence is nothing out of the norm); what's highly disturbing is the clear unbalance of power between Higuchi and Akutagawa, or how Higuchi is constantly depicted as being obsessed with Akutagawa while Akutagawa is openly violent with her. And the way he reprimands her! And the way she's clearly distraught at his words- not to mention the countless times it's shown how emotionally hurt she was by him. This kind of stuff is depressing. Because like!! What if we didn't romanticize men hitting their female partners!!!!! The bar is *that* low!!!!!!

And Higuchi is portrayed as being obsessed with Akutagawa. She was willing to die trying to save him, even being aware she alone couldn't do anything to win over an enemy organization... Because apparently dying trying to save him would be better than living without him? Girl, you deserve so much better. The “it's not easy to leave the Port Mafia, but it's not impossible. I've thought about it many times. Yet I didn't, because... ” sentence is sorta implied to refer to the fact that she didn't leave the Port Mafia because she was in love with Akutagawa (Ryuunosuke), right? I interpreted it that way when I first watched the anime, and I still believe it's the phrase's main implication– also because the actual closing sentence “because it's my job” doesn't make any sense, as she's basically saying “I'm not leaving my job because it's my job”; it's evident there's a deeper meaning to it hinting to Higuchi having romantic feelings for Akutagawa (unless... the circular phrase is used to metaphorically express how she's hopelessly stuck in a toxic work environment, but I can hardly imagine the author going such lengths to express a concept they visibly have no interest in developing). Point is, the fact that she's basically saying she's willing to keep working for a job that makes her allegedly unhappy just because she loves a man is... Not great. Besides, Higuchi going “it's my job” at Akutagawa after he asked her sorry like???? Now, after ten months of being into bsd, I can find it vaguely cute, but you can bet the first time I watched it I was like. bestie, beloved, light of my life, your job can NOT be to endure abuse after abuse from your coworker. Get yourself a new job asap, and feel free to deck Akutagawa too while you're at it.

What's nasty about Akutagawa beating Higuchi again isn't the beating itself, as much as Higuchi being obsessed with Akutagawa despite of it, and their whole dynamic never being framed as negative. It would be one thing if the whole situation was framed as toxic but... It's very much not. It's not like the reader is lead to despise Akutagawa for what he does, it's just something that's there. The narrative doesn't look like it's going in a direction of Higuchi emancipating herself either, but rather learning to roll with the abuse thanks to fleeting rewards of acknowledgement which is, once again, gross. It's gross to display a model of woman who would stay in a work place that constantly mistreats and disrespects her because it's worth her abusive crush telling her “I'm sorry” once every blue moon. Hell yeah you are sorry Akutagawa! If Higuchi had chosen to cut off his life support right there I wouldn't find it hard not to consider it rightful and legit on her side. The way they handle Higuchi's character is gloriously catastrophic and there's maybe not a better example of how the author doesn't know how to write women, has literally no clue on... The fact that women are p e o p l e and any sane person would leave such a toxic environment at the first chance. But of course they would rather think any woman would stay stuck with a terrible job if it's for a handsome, brooding guy (bruh??? Bruh???????? Sorta crying right now sorry)

Then again, the issue isn't even the relationship being toxic itself– I mean, it sucks for Higuchi, but one can decide to portray a toxic relationship in fiction. The issue is that it's evidently not intended to be perceived as toxic. Nobody ever sides with Higuchi, or voices the fact that she's evidently being abused; Higuchi easily forgives Akutagawa when he apologizes (it doesn't even count as forgiving because she never was even angry or frustrated at him to begin with what the fuck). Akutagawa hitting Higuchi is even used as a gag and like. What the fuck. Who in the world could ever find it funny. What the fuck.

Tbh when I entered the fandom I was very surprised to find out the cycle of abuse was typically framed like this:

Mori → Dazai → Akutagawa → Kyouka

when after watching the anime I definitely had an idea more of the sorts of:

(Mori) → Dazai → Akutagawa → Higuchi

(Very side note but at this point Mori towards Dazai barely counts as abuse, like what did he even ever do to him? Emotional abuse barely stands too since Dazai is, on admission of Mori himself, extremely hard to manipulate)

I feel like Higuchi and Akutagawa's relationship mirrors a lot what used to be Akutagawa's relationship with Dazai when Dazai was still in the pm, especially in the way both Higuchi and Akutagawa are obsessed with their own senpai and gaining his approval. And honestly, just as I am a firm supporter of Akutagawa growing out of his infatuation for Dazai and never forgiving him for what he's done to him, I also believe Akutagawa doesn't deserve Higuchi's forgiveness and could rot in hell as much as I care (joking, but also, don't hurt Higuchi and then expect to have my sympathy).

Plus, THE WHOLE “this female leader becomes useless and powerless as soon as her talented partner is out of the game” the episode carries through like NNNNGGGHHH biting biting chewing wood then why did you even make her leader in the first place???? Like what's the point???????? The rethoric that women are literally useless without a man?????????? I get that this chapter came out around 2013 but like. C'mon. So did Kill la Kill and Psycho-Pass. C'mon. (Also the “we won't recognize the legitimacy of this woman's authority until she demonstrates she's willing to die / throws herself in a suicide mission” but that's a whole different category of “saving other people's lives gives me permission to keep living” “people can't live unless someone tells them ‘it's okay to go on’ ” bsd fucked up morals this post is already too long to get into)

But like (and here starts the nicer section): time has passed since I watched the episode and read the chapter. I reluctantly grew fonder of both Akutagawa and Higuchi. And despite the fact that everything I've said still stands... Akutagawa did say sorry. We never saw him interact with Higuchi after that, which leaves space to hope he's changed in the way he behaves with her (more likely author has realized how fucked up and nasty the whole thing was and opted to never show them interact again, but eh). And while Akutagawa saying sorry didn't effect me at all when I first watched it, because what he did to Higuchi is unforgivable (that much I still believe)... He still apologized. When I first watched the episode, I didn't care the slightest about Akutagawa– besides despising him for how he treated Higuchi, of course. But as the story unwraps itself, it's hard not to grow sympathetic of him, especially after learning about the Dark Era events / the Heartless Cur events / seeing him act in the Moby Dick fight arc too to an extent. I still firmly believe Higuchi shouldn't forgive him, and I don't either for what he's done to her, but as a reader I at least now have an explanation to why he acted that way towards her, and I can understand him. I can now catch more layers to him saying sorry, the effort it must have took him, the admission of having been wrong (which is a huge thing, like, what other character in this series has ever admitted of being wrong? So many characters believing they're infallible), the real intention of making amends and learn from his mistakes which is... Admittedly nice. I mean, character development is great. Everyone is weak for character development, and Akutagawa's is a huge one. What were before words I would have forcibly shoved back in his throat are now reluctantly heartwarming, because they show an Akutagawa who's willing to change and become a better person. But from Higuchi's point of view, that still doesn't change how much harm and suffering he caused her, you know? That doesn't change the fact Higuchi should never forgive him for what he's done to her, just like Akutagawa is entitled to never forgive Dazai for all the abuse he was perpetrator of. I just overall think one's redemption does require amends to be made, but can't demand forgiveness. Akutagawa's step of apologizing is important and necessary for him to make amends and start to become a better person; but that does not and never will entitle him to Higuchi's forgiveness. I now like that scene some more because it's a big first display of development for Akutagawa's character, and because despite the bad writing I could never dislike Higuchi; I like it because I like to imagine that being a moment of growth for both of them, if I make myself forcibly forget about their displeasing canon characterization. I like it because I now like both characters and, despite rationally thinking they're most likely better off separate ways, it still compells me to imagine them being happy and in good terms together. I like it because Higuchi in Harukawa's art style is so freaking pretty

Mandatory tl;dr: I don't like the chapter because it perpetuates and romanticizes the rethoric of women being destined to be made miserable by a man their whole lives with no chances of getting out, as well as displaying a huge systematic unbalance in Higuchi and Akutagawa's relationship with Higuchi being constantly made weaker and dependent; I like it more now because I got attached to Higuchi and Akutagawa, because it shows a growth of Akutagawa and because I wouldn't be able to hate Higuchi no matter what.

Dear Op‚ you said chapter 14 was one of your favorite chapters so you've probably thought about it longer and way more thoroughly than me‚ and it's possible that after reading this there wasn't a single thing you agreed with. And that's okay!! I hope reading this made you view the chapter from a new perspective even if you ultimately disagree with my takes.

#C'mon like. I love my girl Higuchi. But I love her because she's victim of such awful writing‚ I can't bring myself to hate her.#I love her because every day I wake up and actively tell myself–#“a man's awful writing of female characters won't ever be enough to make me hate a woman”. So like. Yeah #ichiyō higuchi #ryūnosuke akutagawa #bsd #bungou stray dogs #I remember me watching episode x with my friend and she commented “Higuchi? She's such a [sottona]”#which is to say bottom in a derisory‚ derogative way and I was like... Girl you need help ;;;;#Did we seriously become so desensibilized to abuse we can now see it as a joke of some kind? Find it funny? It's depressing.#Idk I guess their dynamics would have been bearable despite the unbalance of power if only they had the minimum decency of–#not having Akutagawa hit Higuchi but like... That's beyond any forgiveness for me sorry very much not sorry.#Seeing it happen repetedly was disgusting for me #There's even a big big factor of cultural context playing a role.#There *is* a long existing history of men abusing women who live with the illusion they could be loved back and it's... Yeah just. Lets not #bsd negativity #people asks me stuff #It's just. It really all goes back to the unbalance of power tbh.#Why is it always the cool brooding overpowered male character with the useless no skill whiner female partner. Just :///#It's no wonder I like sskk so much seriously– because I know at any point they could beat each other's ass.#I just think equality is important in a relationship‚ any kind of relationship?#I've been writing this for three days btw I couldn't stop adding paragraphs 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️#I've talked with my landlord and now at 17:45 I'm FINALLY going to take my nap goodnight #bsd ch 14

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