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kindofcashton · 4 years

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𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕 • chapter 11 (Calum Hood AU)

THE NEXT MORNING was spent consoling Hannah. She hadn’t heard from Ashton since the big blow up, which left her distraught. Whenever they fought before, they always called or texted to let each other know everything was gonna be okay. But Ashton was radio silent, and so it was my job to make sure my teary-eyed, emotionally wrecked best friend would be okay.

“Michael didn’t even look at me before he left,” she sniffled, rubbing her swollen eyes and pouting. I winced; this fight had been huge, and spilled over into everyone else in the house. I could tell Michael was feeling a little betrayed himself, and Luke probably shared similar thoughts. Calum, of course, I had no idea about. I only hoped they all wouldn’t hold a grudge against Hannah and make things even harder for her.

“He’ll get over it, Han,” I promised her. “Trust me. Once this all blows over you’ll be stronger than ever.” She shook her head, eyes cloudy and filled with misery.

“I don’t know, Scarlett,” she said in a weak voice. “It’s really bad.” I bit my lip, unsure of what else to say. I didn’t want to lie and say it wasn’t bad, because lying would help no one. But I also didn’t believe this was the end of her relationship with Ashton. They could mend the broken bridges between them, if only he was willing to try. I think time was the only remedy needed, and once enough time passed things could start improving.

We were joined at that moment by Calum. I avoided his eyes, still wildly confused about how to feel after last night. He’d shown a deep understanding that he’d never displayed before, and it stunned me. I thought Calum of all people would relish the opportunity to expose and humiliate me, but instead he chose to respect my plea for distance. As he sat down next to me, I felt the heat of his body so close to mine and shifted uncomfortably.

But apparently he wasn’t feeling uncomfortable at all, because there was a relaxed smirk on his face. He nudged his box of frosted cereal towards me. “Here, have some since I know you’d just steal it later.” His tone was jovial, causing me to finally meet his gaze. It was light and innocent, making my brows raise in disbelief.

I took the box and gladly dug my hand in, enjoying the sickly sweet cereal as Hannah distractedly scrolled through her phone. Calum shuddered beside me.

“I don’t know how you eat it dry,” he told me, pouring milk into his bowl. I wrinkled my nose.

“Because soggy cereal is disgusting, that’s why.” My expression was coy as I took another handful, and he rolled his eyes. I liked the way we could play off each other and actually joke around, the usual tension missing for some reason. I figured last night probably had something to do with it, but if this was the new normal I was completely on board.

Hannah looked up from her phone. “Do you have work today?” she asked. “I was wondering if we could spend the day watching bad movies and eating unhealthy food.”

I pursed my lips. “Actually, yeah, in an hour. But later we can totally--”

“No, no.” She waved her hand, heaving a sigh and staring off into the distance. “Maybe a little solitude would be good for me. I’m way too codependent.”

I frowned. “Hannah--”

“Don’t tell me it isn’t true, Scarlett, we both know it is. I’m overly dependent on people and you’re obsessed with fixing them. We both have flaws.” I blushed a deep red as she exposed our relationship problems. I felt Calum’s hand still above his bowl as he listened, and I suppressed a grimace. He had definitely began figuring out just how much I liked to fix things, how I obsessed over little details until I thought it was perfect.

Hannah pushed her chair away from the table and stood up, shoulders sagging and face crestfallen. “I think I’m gonna wallow downstairs all day. You’re welcome to join in the fun, Calum.” He gave her a small smile as she trudged towards the basement door, and when she finally disappeared downstairs I let out a sigh.

Calum pushed the cereal around in his bowl, frowning thoughtfully. “You think she’s gonna be okay?” His question was sincere, and I could detect behind the words just how much he cared for her.

Rolling my lips into my mouth, I shrugged. “I hope so. She’s been through a lot of shit recently, and I’d hate to see Ashton abandon her over it.” I briefly panicked that I had gone too far, made it seem like Ashton was entirely in the wrong. But if Calum thought this, he didn’t show it. Instead he just nodded, finishing his cereal quietly.

I checked the clock on the wall. “I ought to get ready, I have a bus to catch.” I closed the cereal box and began to get up, but then Calum reached out his arm to stall me.

“Why don’t I drive you? I have nothing better to do, and you’re probably really tired of riding that dingy bus.”

My lips parted in surprise, but his expression was earnest. I blinked a few times, at a loss for words. He merely rolled his eyes and stood up beside me, leaning in close as he said, “What, I’m not allowed to be nice?” His breath was warm and I felt my body tense up at the proximity of his face. But then he pulled away with a smirk to put his bowl in the sink. I exhaled, fidgeting a little as I considered his offer.

“Fine,” I accepted. “But you better be picking me up, too.” I quirked my lips up challengingly, and he chuckled at the counter.

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” he replied. I smiled before turning to head upstairs, thoroughly confused but pleasantly surprised. I told myself it was only because I didn’t have to catch the bus, not because a certain curly-haired boy was finally being nice to me.

I got ready fast and joined Calum by the front door, following him out to his car. It was another beautiful day weather wise, and I sighed happily as we climbed into his mustang.

“You better not complain about my music,” he warned as he put an old-fashioned tape into the cassette player. The car was vintage and had all the old features, something I found charming and very much in character with the owner. Soft guitar sounds drifted out, and I vaguely recognized the band. I didn’t say a word as we drove off, enjoying the way the music seemed to match our peaceful mood.

I was almost disappointed when we arrived at the cafe, wishing I could keep driving for hundreds of miles with just Calum and his music and the comfortable quiet. But this was reality, and I thanked him quickly for the ride before heading in.

Mack had realized a few weeks ago how well Roger and I worked together, and decided to schedule us with the same shifts since we had similar availability. This meant seeing him every time I worked, something the two of us were definitely fine with.

“Did I see you climbing out of a cherry red sex mobile this morning?” he asked innocently, and I choked on the water I was sipping.

“If you mean Calum’s mustang, then yes,” I told him, rolling my eyes at his insinuation. “He offered me a ride, how could I have said no?”

Roger smiled evilly. “I know a perfect way you can thank him,” he said, batting his eyelashes. I flipped him off with a laugh, trying not to imagine all the possibilities he had in his head. They were surely all dirty and seductive, and thinking about Calum in a dirty and seductive way was not going to help me do my job.

It was a quicker shift today, ending in the early afternoon. When I had about a half hour left, I began wondering what Calum was up to all day. I always wondered this; he didn’t have a job, didn’t go to school. What did he do all day? Where did he go? Did he have other friends, a different life away from us? I could tell he was full of secrets, and my mind drifted to what they could all be when the front door opened.

“No way,” Roger whispered, causing me to snap out of my daydreaming. Speak of the devil.

“Hey, Scarlett,” Calum greeted when he walked up the counter. His smirk was cool and his eyes were hooded, and I bit my lip. “Thought I’d try some of this coffee your always screwing up.”

I scoffed, and Roger shook his head as he butted into our conversation. “Oh no, she hasn’t screwed up an order all day. I want to see how long it will last.”

“Hey!” I protested, smacking his arm. “I didn’t mess anything up yesterday, either.”

Roger narrowed his eyes. “Debatable. The amount of whipped cream you put on that poor man’s hot chocolate yesterday was almost criminal.”

I folded my arms at him. “You can never have too much whipped cream, Roger.” He just flipped me off and got back to cleaning the display case. Turning back to Calum, I flushed. Having him here was overwhelming; he’d stepped into a part of my life that was entirely my own, and I almost felt like he was invading my privacy.

“Do you know what you want? Should I recommend stuff?” I didn’t know why I felt so nervous all of a sudden, trying to tell myself it wasn’t because of the deep brown eyes studying me so intently.

“I like the sound of that whipped cream,” he started. “Why don’t you pile it on top of a mocha.” I nodded, punching in his order and accepting his cash with a small smile. He went to sit at a table by the window, and I forced myself not to stare as I focused on his drink.

I’d made a hundred mochas by now, but this one I really wanted to get right. I made sure to add the perfect amount of steamed milk, and tried way too hard to make the whipped cream swirl as even as possible. Roger watched me work, clicking his tongue disapprovingly.

“You sure this is the drink that’ll get you in his pants?” I almost threw the hot coffee on his face, fighting a smile at his stupid jokes. I approached the counter and called Calum’s name, presenting the mocha proudly.

“I hope this is satisfactory,” I said as he took the mug and raised it in a mock cheer. I was slightly disappointed when he sat back down without saying anything, but pushed this feeling aside as I finished my shift.

Calum was waiting for me when Roger and I emerged from the back room after clocking out. My smile was shy and I hooked my bag over my shoulder nervously. But Calum’s smirk was oddly comforting, and he held the door for me.

“I thought we’d make a quick pit-stop at the grocery store for more beer,” he informed me, and I knitted my brows together.

“Didn’t you just get beer yesterday?”

“It was only a six-pack,” he defended with a laugh. “And besides, the guys all needed one after the blow up.” I nodded, understanding him completely. If I were Michael or Luke, I’d want to drown my worries too.

Roger appeared behind my shoulder. “Am I invited on this little road trip?” My jaw dropped, but he cackled and gave me a good-natured shove. “Totally kidding, go have fun on your grocery store date.” I almost tripped him at saying the word date, terrified that it would rub Calum the wrong way. But I don’t think he even heard, and I breathed a sigh of relief as we got back into his car.

“How was the beer I suggested yesterday?” he asked me, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on his rolled down window. I admired the way the sun struck his profile, the relaxed posture he drove in.

Licking my lips, I answered, “It was actually really good, probably the best beer I’ve had. But I’m not that picky when it comes to beer, though.”

He smirked. “What are you picky about?”

Smiling at his oddly personal question, I considered my answer. “Well, cereal, as you already know. I refuse to ever have it with milk. Other than that...not much, I guess. I’m fine with most things.”

Calum thought about this for a second, a distant smile on his lips. “So you’re just so easy-going and carefree, huh?”

I laughed, propping my feet up on the dashboard to reiterate this point. “Oh, totally.”

We arrived at the store and immediately went for the beer. Calum pointed out a few good brands, and I pretended to take meticulous notes on his suggestions. He picked out a case of the kind I bought yesterday, and we brought it back to the car.

He paused after stashing the bag in the backseat. His expression was clouded, and more protective than it had been all day. Clearly his walls were back up, but I didn’t know why. When he finally spoke, my question was answered, “Want to take this somewhere and crack it open? I don’t know, the park or something?” He was scared to ask me this, worried I’d say no. Fear of rejection, I thought. Interesting, considering all of his arrogant bravado.

I nodded eagerly, hoping to ease some of his nerves. “That sounds great. And it’ll give Hannah more alone time I think she really needs.”

The park wasn’t crowded at all, and we found a nice spot up on a hill a little ways. The shade of a tree provided us relief from the late afternoon sun, and at our vantage point we could watch the people roaming around below. I laid on the grass, propped up by an elbow as I watched Calum crack open the beers. As he handed me one we clinked the cans together in a toast, and when I took a sip I felt all of the past few days’ stress leak right out of me. The breeze, the sun, the fresh air; it was all so cleansing, and I couldn’t harbor any negativity in such a serene place.

Laying next to Calum, I inspected his face, unafraid of him catching me staring. I took in his full lips, thinking about all the different expressions they produced. His curly hair fell across his forehead, and I imagined what it would feel like to run my fingers through it. His eyes were definitely my favorite feature of his; rich brown in color, reflecting light in the dark depths. If I could, I would gaze into them all day, just to uncover whatever secrets they protected. Calum was an enigma I was itching to solve, and every day I felt a little bit closer to the truth.

Just as I thought, he caught me staring. But I didn’t look away, bravely holding his gaze as he confronted me with a look. A brief smirk crossed his face, before he took a swig of beer and sighed.

“What are you trying to find, Scarlett?” The question was innocent, but it set off butterflies in my chest. I liked the way he said my name, almost like it was music on his tongue. Blushing, I finally did look away and focused instead on the people in the park.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I responded. “Just trying to figure out all your little secrets, that’s all.” Something about the atmosphere had me feeling daring, and I hoped he felt the same way.

He laughed. “You don’t think I’m doing the same thing?” We met each other’s eyes for a second, and then he added, “Alright, fine. You tell me something and I’ll tell you something.”

“How democratic of you,” I joked, and he laid back on his elbows. I thought about what to tell him, sifting through the multitude of secrets in my arsenal. Deciding to take advantage of what little bravery I had right now, I said, “Okay, I’ll tell you something.” He shifted his position to face me better, and suddenly I felt nervous. But I pushed this away, determined to be honest, no matter how much his eyes burned into me.

“You’ve known something is up about me being home from school for a while now, and you’re right. I’m not on a break: I had to drop out.” I paused for a second to let him soak this in. His smirk faded to a frown, but I pushed on. “And the reason I had to drop out was because I was stone-cold broke. I couldn’t pay the tuition, so I had to leave. And the reason I’m broke is...” I trailed off, wondering if this was taking it too far. But I wanted Calum to know this. I didn’t know why I felt this way, why I trusted him all of a sudden. But I needed him to know what happened to me. “My parents both died recently, in a car crash. Everything went to the medical bills to try to keep them alive, but it didn’t work. And now I’m here, alone, broke, and...” I laughed morosely. “And with no idea what I’m doing.”

Calum’s face fell, his eyes filling with sympathy as he opened his mouth to say something. “Scarlett, I--”

I waved him off. “I don’t want any pity. That’s why I kept it to myself, because I didn’t want to be the poor sad girl with dead parents.” Already I felt Calum’s view of me shifting, and I only hoped he wasn’t seeing a weak, pitiable basket case in front of him.

He sighed, brows low on his eyes as he seemed to be waiting for me to look at him. When I finally did, he tilted his head. “Pity and support aren’t the same thing, you know. Everyone needs help when they go through something hard, it doesn’t mean people see you as weak or pathetic.”

My mouth felt dry as his words soaked in. I’d never looked at it this way before, and his fresh perspective actually made me feel better. I guess I hadn’t really let anyone just be there for me, I pushed everyone away. Smiling meekly, I said, “Now where were you two months ago when I needed to hear that?”

He chuckled. eyes dancing with amusement. I liked that even though we were talking about such a heavy topic, we kept it light. For someone I’d always thought was so brooding, Calum had a gentler side that was exactly what I needed in this moment.

I lightly pushed at his arm, leaning on my hand as I faced him. “Alright, since I just poured out my soul it’s your turn.” The anticipation of finding out one of his secrets was killing me, and I bit my lip to contain my enthusiasm.

Calum rested the back of his head on his hands so he was gazing up at the cloudy sky. His lips parted, and I held my breath.

“You’ve probably noticed the lack of shit going on in my life,” he started, and I nodded with a small smile. I was pleased that this was what he was going to talk about; it was what I was most curious about. “The reason I’m able to live this way is because of the checks my mother sends every month. She feels guilty for screwing up my childhood or something, I don’t know. The money is good so I don’t complain.”

This was a lot of information to process. I’d had a hunch for a while that Calum’s life was more complex than he let on. It was interesting to hear about his mother and their apparent estrangement. My fingers toyed with a few blades of grass as I waited for more of an explanation.

“I haven’t actually talked to her in months,” he admitted, sounding a little surprised himself at the confession. “Not that I don’t...care about her.” I noted the way he stumbled, avoiding the word love. “I do, I want her to be happy. I just don’t think me being around is good for either of us.”

Even though I had an entirely different view of my parents, this made sense to me. Sometimes distance is the best thing for a relationship. I was always close with my mother and father, but that was because they’d supported me my whole life. I had no idea what Calum went through with is mom, or how they ended up so estranged.

I hadn’t realized he was looking at me, expectant for a response, and I blushed. “Sorry, I just...it’s nice that you’ve found what works for both of you. So many people try way too hard and just end up hurting each other.”

He smiled, brows lifting. “Gotta say I’m surprised. With all of your psychology books and deep analysis I thought you’d try to tell me to reach out.”

Shrugging, I let a smirk twist across my lips. “I’m full of surprises,” I replied jokingly. Truthfully, I did think that Calum reaching out would be a good idea. Maybe not right now, but in the future when he was more mature and ready to confront his mother he should definitely do it. He deserved to have a mother, someone who loved him unconditionally. I wanted him to have a family.

When I glanced back over to him, I gasped lightly. The way he was looking at me took my breath away; it was as if his brown eyes had pulled back all of my defenses and were staring straight into my soul, my thoughts, my body. A gravitational pull was tugging at my chest, and for a second I contemplated closing the short distance between us and connecting our bodies. I was sure he could hear my thunderous heartbeat, and I wanted to reach out and feel his own.

His eyes flitted to my lips for a brief moment, and then he whispered, “We should go.” He rolled over onto his back and sat up, ending the moment just like that.

We were silent on the drive home, but it was a comfortable quiet I found myself sinking into. The image of Calum’s face, so close and illuminated by the setting sun, was burned in my eyes as I stared at the road in front of me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to be the one to make a move, to reach over and do what we’ve both been yearning for. But I also knew how much it would complicate things, and in a moment that was so blissfully simple, I didn’t want to ruin it.

I thought once we got home we’d both part ways and say nothing. But as Calum parked in the driveway, switching off the engine and engulfing us in total silence, I held my breath. He was going to say something, that much I knew. But about what I couldn’t possibly comprehend.

The interior roof lights cast a thin veil of yellow on his features, and in the small car it felt impossibly tight. I twisted in the seat, lips pressed together as I waited in suspense. Calum pushed a hand through his hair, letting the curls bounce above his forehead as he rested his arm on the headrest behind me.

He licked his lips, watching me closely. “Remember when you said I knew nothing about you?”

I blinked, remembering the night clearly. I’d hurled the words at Calum in the hopes he’d back off, leave me alone. Instead he seemed to want to get closer, and now here we were together in his car after spending the whole afternoon together. “Yes,” I said plainly. “I remember.”

He looked away, out into the dark distance beyond the window. “Well, you were right,” he declared, suddenly turning back to face me. “I don’t have a clue who you are. But the thing is...I want to find out.”

All of the oxygen had seeped out of the car. Blood was rushing in my ears, my fingers tingled with nerves. I felt like I was tilting in the seat, like gravity had flipped and suddenly I was fighting not to float away. A million thoughts spun through my mind, none of them making sense. Only one stuck out: I need to get out of this car.

And so I did. I stuttered something incoherent and slammed the door behind me, practically running to the door then up the stairs to my room. I tore my jacket off, then my shirt and jeans. I felt suffocated by the constricting clothes, and pulled on soft shorts and a big tee shirt. I began pacing across my floor, wondering if I’d just made a huge mistake. Calum had said something I’d been itching to hear for weeks, without even realizing it myself. But I couldn’t wrap my head around how we got here. We fundamentally disliked each other, but somehow we’d poured our hearts out today and crossed into new territory. I liked the territory, but I was terrified of it blowing up. All it took was one wrong move for Calum and I to disintegrate, and I was scared of crumbling because of him.

I flopped onto the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. The stairs creaked in the hallway, and I felt the door to Calum’s room next door shut. Having him so close but so far was driving me crazy and not helping me get over my anxiety. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours, only thinking of him. His eyes, his lips, his voice.

Before I knew what I was doing my body took over and brought me to my door. I twisted the door knob, expecting to walk into the pitch black hallway. Instead I opened it up and was faced by the exact person I couldn’t get off my mind.

I hadn’t even heard Calum come to my door. But here he was, clad in only a pair of black joggers. I could barely see his face but I could make out his eyes boring into mine

I don’t know who leaned in first, but within a millisecond our lips connected. My whole body reacted to his touch, lighting on fire with every skim of his fingers. My hands went to his neck, his face, his hair. I pulled him tightly against me, feeling his bare shoulders and running my fingers across his wide back.

His lips molded to mine like clay, his tongue teasing at my mouth as I breathed hard. Our foreheads bumped together, teeth clashing and tongues dancing as the kiss deepened even more. His hands ran along my sides, igniting the skin as he went. I felt his fingers hook under my shirt, sliding up my skin and causing a string of moans to fall from my mouth. The sounds only encouraged him, and I felt his thumbs brush my exposed breasts.

Our lips tore apart for a second, and I exhaled lightly. “Calum,” I murmured against his cheek, and he attached his mouth to my jaw. The sensation was overwhelming as he dragged his lips down my neck, finding a sensitive spot below my ear. I couldn’t control my heavy breathing, and my knees weakened as he sucked gently on my skin. I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck for support, melting into his body like butter.

He peppered kisses across my neck to my jaw to my face, kissing my cheeks before reconnecting with my lips. The kiss had slowed down, softening into a sweet caress that calmed my racing heartbeat. I traced my fingertips down his neck, resting finally on his bare chest as we disconnected once and for all. My forehead bumped against his collarbone, his larger height making him rest his chin on the top of my head.

His hands rubbed up and down my arms, and I pressed a feathery kiss to his chest before leaning back. I tangled my fingers into his, pulling him back into my room.

“Stay,” I whispered, and I heard him close the door behind him. I fell onto the bed, pulling him beside me so we laid face to face. He brought the covers up around us, encasing us in warmth. I was finally breathing evenly again, sleep beginning to pull me under. The last thing I felt before I went under was the feeling of his arm hooking around my waist and pulling me into him.

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jewpacabruhs · 5 years

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Hi I read your recent post about Liane but I have a question about your post. You said abusers don’t deserve sympathy, even if they were abused themselves....but didn’t Cartman abuse Heidi and multiple others? Why should he be forgiven but not other abusers?

context bruh. i was talking about sexual abuse (csa in particular). that sort of abuse and emotional abuse are wildly wildly different - emotional abuse can be just as damaging, but i don’t think cartman’s actions have impacted anyone severely or ruined any lives (except maybe that therapist who’s wife killed herself, and the shit-eating nanny from tsst ssfdjfkhsd i shouldnt keysmash abt tht but it was played for shock value slash laughs so) - whereas the abuse cartman’s endured has shaped him into the person he is, and will forever impact the way he goes about relationships.

although actually, i take that back a lil; i think butters has been severely affected by the way cartman’s treated him. all the kids treat him bad, but cartman saw vulnerability and singled him out, which is reminiscent of abuse… but it’s, dare i say, hardly consistent enough to be? i think emotional abuse takes emotional investment, and they’re too young for that. like, i don’t wanna try to say abuse has to fall into a certain box, but… actually, yanno what, i retract that. i’m pulling that out of my ass. in this specific situation, yes, i think cartman’s abused butters. i can’t justify it or defend him. cartman’s consistently cruel to him, butters is consistently hurt by cartman’s behavior, there’s a stark power imbalance; yes, that is abuse. so he should be held accountable for that. but even then i think the primary culprits in who’s fucking butters up most are his parents. his classmates made him feel alienated, unliked, and unwanted, and cartman’s made him feel like a useless door mat, and that’s an awful awful traumatic feeling, too - especially paired with a bad home life. but his parents are the ones doing more severe psychological harm, in my opinion.

butters’ arc is actually reminiscent of cartman’s; naive kid is neglected/abused at home, then picked on for something petty at school, possibly singled out by another child (and then,,, becoming infatuated with that child, holy shit), to the point of taking on an antagonistic stance against the world & becoming hostile, even pushing people away for fear of being hurt, or, in cartman’s case, annoyed or burdened by their needs and wants. (it’s also noticeable that everyone treated cartman bad, but especially kyle, until he became the cartman we know now, and now everyone treats butters bad, but especially cartman, and now he’s become this form of butters. it’s a cycle… always is.) and people hate both cartman and butters for their behavior, and it’s fine to dislike a character, but taking their trauma into account while criticizing them is essential. it’s crazy - that cycle’s already starting among these children, yanno? cartman got broke, then helped start to break butters, and g-d knows what butters could do next. abuse and all the lives it affects is fucked up man, sp removed.

anyway. but heidi? we haven’t seen too much of her, but i think she kept her base personality. she’s not jaded. in fic you could write her as being more seriously affected, but in canon, next to other canon abuse victims, she’s not showing symptoms and there’s no focus on it. that doesn’t invalidate her experiences, but i just,,, don’t think it’s on par. same with kyle, who i’ll reaffirm a hundred times over isn’t abused by cartman; they have a mutually toxic relationship that kyle actually instigated in the early seasons, and none of cartman’s behavior towards kyle is traditional abuse. an unhealthy obsession, sure, and there’s some codependency too, but i don’t think it’s wearing down at kyle’s perceptions, impacting his self esteem, or changing his personality for the worst. in my opinion, the worst thing cartman’s done to kyle is push him to question judaism and be ashamed of that aspect of his identity, but kyle’s done the same thing, by attacking cartman’s weight, intelligence, and his mom’s profession. those things aren’t the same as being teased for being jewish, but cartman looked for an easy target - kyle’s identity and his mom, which are both things he’s extremely defensive of and invested in. it was, frankly, retaliation, and now they’re stuck in an unhealthy loop, but it’s still not abuse. though kyle (and to a lesser extent, stan) in early seasons absolutely abused cartman, and no one holds kyle accountable for that.

tldr, there’s a stark difference between liane’s grown ass enabling the sexual abuse and exploitation of her child, and that abused child (who’s ten years old) lashing out emotionally towards his friends because he doesn’t know any better, wants to make others suffer like he has, and doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. cartman could easily turn into an abusive monster, but he has time to change (in fanon, of course), with professional help. but liane’s already fucked him up, she squashed his potential and set him on a bad path, and thus, cartman’s actions are her fault, 100%. dang ol,,,, blood on her hands, man.

#anon #abuse tw #csa tw #answered #meta

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