#is that bad to say? probably but im so done

[morurui]

CHAOS THEORY SPOILER REVIEW

Cause I just finished it and I have thoughts!

Sooooo I honestly have mixed feelings about Chaos Theory if I’m going to be honest I feel like there are some things that worked in my opinion and some things that didn’t really work for me so I’ll be separating this review into three parts: Things I liked, Things I wasn’t a fan of, and General thoughts.

Things I liked:

-The animation was absolutely gorgeous, it was such a step up from Camp Cretaceous that it’s weird to think that they’re apart of the same series. The team behind it did an absolutely amazing job!

-The last two episodes. Oh my god were those last two episodes so good, they had me at the edge of my seat as well as episode 10 finally giving us interactions between the entirety of the nublar 5

-YASAMMY. I think yasammy was done so well this season. Their fight was so real, nobody was totally in the wrong, but they both weren’t communicating their feelings to each other well and they resolved it in the end. It was just perfect

-Yasmina Fadoula. She was written so well I loved how they didn’t just completely forget she has PTSD and anxiety and included that in her character arc for this season. I also loved how they used her to address how bad it is to infantilize those with mental disorders. (Yaz and I are anxiety twins 🧘‍♀️)

-Mateo. The GOAT. I am the number one Mateo fan, dont ever forget it. I love that man and I will stand by him, I was stressing for his life during episode 10.

-Microbang villain girl was such a menacing villain at the end and I honestly love her. It’s clear that while she is using the atrociraptors for evil deeds she does clearly care for them. I desperately need to know more about her…

-Kenji and Brooklynn’s new voice actors do such a good job with the characters and while I’ll miss Jenna and Ryan, their new voices were casted very well!

Things I wasn’t a big fan of:

-Now to address the elephant in the room…Darius being in love with Brooklynn. (I’m going to try to look at this through an objective pov, but since I don’t ship dinostar obviously there’ll be a slight bias)(nothing wrong if you do ship Dinostar I’m happy for you, but these are just my feelings) Im not a big fan of this. To me I’ve never really read Darius and Brooklynn as being romantic together and their friendship is something I truly cherished about JWCC. I do see why they probably decided to make the decision to have Darius be in love with Brooklynn, but to me it’s kind of upsetting in a way to have Darius’s extreme grief response not be just because they were best friends. It feels like the writers were saying “Well, he’s not experiencing this grief so hard because she was his best friend, but it’s actually because he loves her!”. We’ve seen loss be something Darius takes extremely hard (His dad’s death and Ben’s death) and so I don’t really see why they made it so he was in love with her to justify his response when it’s in character without it. Idk man…

-Brooklynn being alive….HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT. THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I HATE BROOKLYNN SHES ACTUALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS. But idk these fake out deaths are starting getting to wear me down. Even Bumpy had a fake out death 😭. I get why they kept her alive being as she is a beloved character, but I just think it would’ve been better for her to be a character that somewhat haunts the narrative. It adds more onto the mystery, not only that but it allows the nublar five to explore “Hey our friend was hiding things from us and we’ll never truly get answers, but we’re going to find out what lead to her death and put a stop to it”. Which was what the nublar five are on a path to, until Brooklynn inevitably shows back up and explains everything. Also why did they give her the 2017 Katy Perry haircut…

-Kenji and Darius’s dynamic. I loved how they used their dynamic at the beginning of the show with Kenji blaming Darius for Brooklynn’s death, but beyond that moment their dynamic felt off to me. It was not helped by the whole Darius being in love with Brooklynn thing, but it just felt like they toned down their brotherly bond in this show (ironic since this is the first time we see them call themselves brothers)

General thoughts

-Jesus Christ was Kenji this shows punching bag 😭. He literally does not get a break, it just keeps on coming, breaking up with his girlfriend because she’s not invested in their relationship anymore, living in a trailer with a failing rock climbing business, his girlfriend kept secrets from him all while working with his estranged dad behind his back, his dad trying to use him again and then dying saving him, AND his brother was in love with his ex girlfriend. All in the span of ten episodes. If I was him I would have a mental breakdown every single day.

-Do yall think Ben actually has a girlfriend? I’m like at a 70/40 split, because he only talks about her two times and the first time he brings her up she totally sounds fake. “She’s from…Europe” Why did you have to think so much Benjamin? Also he fully just said she’s from the continent of Europe rather than a specific country in Europe. Also also it’s implied he hasn’t had a phone on him for a while so how does a long distance relationship work if he doesn’t have any means to contact her??? And he doesn’t even have a picture of her in his van. That man is hiding something I need to know…

-Ben and Darius had like 30-40 minutes of screen time shared between them, which is weird because like most of the show was marketed with them being the main protags and they barely interact beyond episode 4. (Their dynamic was too strong for people to handle “do you talk to your mother with that mouth” broke the world)

-Bumpy having a baby is something I predicted and I’m happy I was right!

Anyway that’s really it, sorry this was pretty long and excuse any typos or grammatical errors, but these were just some of my thoughts!

#jwct spoilers #chaos theory spoilers #jwcc #jwct #camp cretaceous #chaos theory #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world chaos theory #ben pincus #darius bowman #yasmina fadoula #sammy gutierrez #kenji kon #brooklyn jwcc #mor posts

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

☆ i will be referring to this conflict as i/p as shorthand for israel/palestine. I recognize the war is between Israel and hamas im just using this term because its short and its common enough that people will get what I mean.

saw a video of a woman with a text overlaid with something about how something was finally over. I think she might have used the term war i just can't remember and I didnt save it even though I shouldve. point is something bad in her life had ended and she looked absolutely relieved and overjoyed and you could quite literally see a weight being lifted off her. whatever actually ended (there were no specifics) was clearly enough of a stressor that it felt incredible when it was done.

anyway there was nothing in the post nor the caption imply that this was about i/p. yet nearly all the comments were like "wait I thought this was about palestine" or "I thought palestine won" "you're misleading us" and other things of that sort.

first of all, how rude do you need to be to see someone celebrating and then get angry that they're not happy about the "correct" thing. how can you be so separated from human emotion that the simple expression of joy and relief is foreign to you. not saying you can't have false assumptions its totally normal to look at something online and have to reread it bc its about a totally different topic than you originally thought. what is messed up is saying the creator has to talk about palestine instead of her own accomplishments because they misunderstood her post. not because she mislead anyone on purpose or anything like that just because of a simple misunderstanding. she did not hurt a single person by making this post and yet instead of just congratulating her and making a little joke about misreading, they are acting as if she is a horrible person because she's not talking about palestine in this specific post.

second of all, this just shows how little people get their information from reliable sources. if the war ended and you were informed by a random post on Instagram because you do not look at anything besides that for information, then you probably haven't learnt enough to be discussing this conflict. of course you're gonna get info on social media that's just how the internet works. you just don't get big news from here without checking it because there's a decent chance its wrong. people lie all the time, people hide facts, and tbh social media politics are like a shitty worldwide game of telephone. if this woman actually was saying the i/p war ended, would these commenters have taken her word and assumed she was telling the truth?? would they have even looked at a single reliable source to see that it hasn't ended?? or are influencers somehow valid news sources now??

point is yall need to find shit to do outside of i/p and start focusing on your own lives and leave women who are just existing the fuck alone. also learn how to find reliable sources it is really scary how little some of yall know about that. I feel like I should proofread this i just am getting pins and needles in my hand so that's just not happening

#jewish #jumblr #i/p

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, i wanted to rant in here for a little bit. so far, i have loved your dybmn series and this makes me think that the way you write your characters complexities is so good. i’m a little afraid of sharing this as everyone here seems to love dybmn spencer.

because god, spencer is so unfair and insufferable. reader is insecure but not as unbelievable unbearable as spencer, i understand if i might be misinterpreting this but it was easy to deduce he would be the one projecting his own insecurities on reader.

it annoys me how he won’t give her the opportunity to truly enjoy her body as she wants to sexually engage with him. he claims he wants her and cares for her pleasure but sometimes it doesn’t really look like it, it feels like some sort of manipulative traumatic tactic to actually hold her hostage even though he says he’s not.

it’s contradictory. just because everything went wrong with elle, which is WEIRD considering his whore phase doesn’t gives him the right to expect that much from reader. god, he’s a profiler. he might not be able to actually read minds but i’m pretty sure he’s perfectly capable of picking up clues with his IQ.

specially during her first fucking time with a man. how would he want her to tell him she loves him if she’s still soooooooo inexperienced? literally how? i feel bad for reading it this way but the andromeda chapter fucked me upppp. there were all sorts of theories going on my mind after i read it.

she knows nothing about relationships and is constantly put into the dangerous position of wanting to please him, he never forces her but it’s pretty obvious she TRIES. how is that not enough for him? and it’s not just the sex, he has always had her affection at his disposition (i say this according to the way she’s agreed to accept his invitations to events like the bar or film festivals, the way she’s constantly kissing him without being sexual and always asking for him).

nevertheless, i’m really excited to see how the series will be evolving as they go. every chapter comes up with something new and i love that we’re able to theorize about it. i just really hope we get a big apology from spencer because….

i’m keeping this one:

💐

thank u so much for taking the time to share ur thoughts!! I rlly appreciate it lovely!! and honestly i don’t think you’re alone in disliking dybmn spencer😭 he gets a lot of hate!!

me explaining stuff abt reid below👇 there are reasons for him being the way he is it’s not ALL inexcusable i promise!!

he is honestly probably more insecure than reader. one thing a lot of people have asked me is “how does it make sense for him to be so traumatized from what happened with elle and still have slept with a ton of women after” and honestly psychologically speaking it’s really not a reach that he would have done that! often when people are really insecure about themselves they seek reassurance and validation from other people, and sometimes they go about getting that validation through sex! i imagine since elle he’s never had a real committed romantic relationship and it’s all been very casual hookups, sometimes w the same people but never breaching into romance territory (don’t mention maeve idk if she’s canon or not in dybmn universe lol)

and I don’t think he’s holding her hostage, he just truly can’t imagine that she loves him back. and if you think about it he has every reason not to. his affection hasn’t been reciprocated or received well for most of his life (elle, his dad, his mom, jj (sorry for bringing up jeid)). even if you’re receiving all the input that someone likes you, if you hate yourself enough you’ll go to crazy lengths to not believe it.

i agree that it’s not super healthy, but he knows that! in my mind that’s actually why he told her on the phone that they didn’t feel the same way—he was trying to essentially be like hey girl you should know im pretty sure you don’t like me as much as i like you, and that’s fine, but if it makes you uncomfortable then we should talk about it because i don’t want you to feel like there are terms and conditions on our relationship that you didn’t understand.

also it might be helpful to realize that in some ways spencer really is not more experienced with romantic relationships than she is. he had a situationship with elle that never went anywhere and a bunch of hookups (and maybe maeve but even if that happened it was like a fake relationship lmao they were e dating and I don’t believe he really loved her but that’s a post for another day). but he doesn’t know how to exist in a healthy relationship with a partner who really cares for him any more than she does. most of dybmn is from readers perspective and she FEELS that he’s way more experienced but that experience is pretty much limited to sex which is obviously a big hang up for her so not surprising that she focuses on it so much and his experience seems so vast. but yeah romantically he is also a late bloomer and fairly stunted. he’s kinda figuring it all out for the first time just like she is!

so anyway that was me defending reid for four paragraphs!! but also maybe he’s just an asshole idk men suck why am I defending one of them

thank u again for giving me an excuse to talk abt this!!! ily

#asks #headcanons #💐

[hyperkittyjkat]

george's video was so good for clearing up literally anything else people could nitpick and I'm just 😭 god,,, anyway I'll probably quietly show support for him and the dream team here but very rarely;;; I'm still out of the fandom and don't wanna go back but tumblr seems way more calm and understanding compared to the hellish place that is twt so who knows how much I'll engage here ehe

#personal #we love misunderstandings turning into a massive public event ! #caiti is valid in her discomfort but my god dude #I'm just;;;; hoping its over #is that bad to say? probably but im so done #anyway teehee holds my dteamtwt mutuals and friends gently

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

#bruh lmao #so awkward. say something you dingus lol #ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already #gyatt #spacie spoinks #literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like #heres the thing #if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate #im like a vampire like that #and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now #like dude sdkfjshlkdfj #im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic) #am i gonna hafta say something. lol #probably #''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.'' #cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭 #also like. this person has been staring at me lol #which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful #for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!! #its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks #im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin #i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs #i dont wanna put her on the spot #the only time i see her is when im in class #and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing #painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her #i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but #the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach #streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow #im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected #i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes #not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her #how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want #her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest #but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b #so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so #much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming #i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby #unrelated

[radioroxx]

yargh. complicated characters save me complicated characters…

#im thinking about ceroba… #im thinking about how ive seen so many ppl (in ‘hot takes’) call her a bad mother for what she did to kanako #and im thinking about how its. silly to base the entire view of her as a character around one mistake #yes sure a very BIG mistake but still one mistake #i dont know if i would even say shes a bad mom. to do so would require me to make some kind of criteria to actually define #what MAKES a bad person #ive spoken before to a friend about how our concepts of good and bad as a whole r subjective anyway #but thats besides the point #i think ceroba as a interesting character becauseee of her mistakes because of her flaws #i think (er. KNOW) that she was a very caring mother. she loved kanako lots lots lots and did everything in her power to fix that mistake #but that doesnt take away that it still happened #im just rambling at this point. nonsense probably #but i think the reason i dislike the bad mom ceroba takes so much is that its reduction to her character in a way… #and that it cant and shouldnt rlly speak to her characterization before and after. yknow the incident #sorry thats a big mess….. i have thoughts i dont know how to speak them #i could say the same abt the other characters too… how ppl like to equate their whole view of a char #to only a few moments with that char #weve forgotten star tried briefly to take clovers soul </3 but oh well #ok im done jfkdkd this is disorganized

[spacebugarts]

I'm just... so tired of needing to filter my words 500 times in my head before actually saying them in order to avoid giving off the wrong impression with my tone/wording, and then failing anyways. Even over text I need to rewrite things multiple rimes and use multiple different tonal indicators and it still comes out wrong!!! And then neurotypical people are just out there saying whatever and people understand what they mean every time! Its so exhausting just let me say things the way I mean them pls

#currently dealing with the rsd of someone misreading a silly little comment i made #and im probably misreading their tone too but its so hard to tell and i just wanna be done with that #hhhh brain... brain bad #i gotta get some sleep #pls dont read into anything i say its not that deep im just dumb and autistic #from now on just imagine me saying wverything with a flat tone and no expression ok thx #autism spectrum disorder #rejection sensitive dysphoria #rsd #neurodivergent #audhd #asd #autism #ahdjshsksj i just blocked someone bc i just. i cant deal with this rn #and i know itll probably just make me look like an asshole but at this point theyll probably think that regardless #and the whole ordeal is giving me a headache #but i wanted to say something just to get it out of my head #so i can fucking sleep #hhhhh

[stardust-vi]

Dumb ramble but I hate that you can't critique The Thing you love within a fandom space without some dude breathing down your neck like "Well actually that means you hate The Author and The Thing! And what about all the times The Author did this Good Thing? Checkmate, liberal." as if you can't be critical of something because you love it and want it to be better.

#just. i'm in a rush rn so i'm probably not articulating myself well and i could go more in-depth with my thoughts #at the risk of someone spinning my words into “cringe blue hair pronoun wants to cancel araki!” which... will happen inevitably #even though i don't know how many times i can repeat “i do not hate araki #this is specifcally about jjba btw because like. #look i love it and araki has done some good things (or at least had good intentions in most cases) #but i'm so over the fact he constantly has to reach for some form of traumatizing women in his writing #and I already hear “well it shows they're a villain!” #but does he HAVE to use assault? why does he have to use that instead of demonstrating their villainy in other ways #that don't need to use it as a crutch #i'm not even saying you can't ever write about assault #that's not my argument either. #I'm not even accusing him of being a bad writer or person but just. Can we please retire the overusage of assault for shock value? #i obviously don't hate people who enjoy the series regardless #i'd be a massive fucking hypocrite #i mean i've literally been in this damn fandom for 6 years and just now decided to post my art. #but i'm tired of any time someone brings up legit criticisms of the misogyny in his writing #it's met with “but araki did this-” like it changes anything. #i'm glad he did somewhat improve writing women over time compared to the earlier parts #that said. that doesn't cancel out the blunders he did make or will make in the future #even if he has good intent. #or really any criticism of the writing being hit with “but its not supposed to make sense #anyways rant over. probably going to delete later bc im tired. #tw assault #assault tw

[enhanced-operatives-division]

i would love to hear about the ollie and handler crack ship here’s a silly doodle as well

LOVE THE DOODLE YOU SEE THE VISION!!!

Also this got my ass to design Ollie so:

(Love him - Also redesigned Reggie for this too so thanks!!)

And idk if it's moreso a crackship or a rarepair that only works in an AU (HACKS up Starstruck), but Reggie's line of "...and I hope Ollie made it out too. I hope a lot of things." It's totally me reading into it but like,,,,I want them to talk because Ollie is not dead to me in my heart of hearts.

Maybe the only change is like Reggie taps into the communication on the radio in Hot Water instead of using the earpiece, so Ollie ends up hearing him also? And they end up getting along really well (with Reggie having to jump through a couple hoops to be like "haha what agency..."). There's an Agency base in the South-East coast of Australia and maybe the Agency ends up adopting him after he washes up on the shore with the escape pod (after HEAVY questioning).

Alas take a doodle of my own:

Transcript (it's just canon lines):

Ollie: "She's being controlled, it's not her fault."

Reggie: "Agent, I have 0 experience dealing with giant security squids."

#idk i know realistically JJ and Reggie will probably never interact so like this is the one I can root for right? #<- ollie is probably still at the bottom of the ocean #alas. i think they could be silly together. because like. idk. they have the same vibe to me #i feel like they would have a GREAT TIME at a barbeque actually #i digress #in terms of the art though!!! Ollie!!!!!!!!n #I've never drawn dreads before shdjdkf i had to redraw the hair on that first one genuinely about 6 times #idk it came from like. if he's been underwater for a long time dread would prolly be somewhat convinent in terms of hairstyles #also we don't talk abt how ollie probably knew fabby because it's implied she was working down there???? #tbh she probably hated himshsjekdld he would be clueless #and uhhhh back on my I can't draw reginald crane in a way im happy with ever. an example ahdkdlf #I've liked exactly 1 drawing of him I've ever done i think i need to do a completely different design over just the little tweaks here idk #anyways ty for the ask sorry it took so long to answer you can see why lmao #it was fun though!!! like i say it got my ass to draw ollie finally and i do like his design #ieytd #i expect you to die #[agent moose's art] #reginald crane #ollie ieytd #oh ship name ummmm #hm #earpiece??? uhhhhhhh radio signal???? idk #leavung it for now im so bad at naming things

[quinn-pop]

happy cringe day wednesday guys here’s another thing i have no idea where to put <3

…i was trying to figure out their dynamic lol

#kirbyposting #swearing #i have been so sleepy ever since the time change it’s making it impossible to get anything done ugh #i just want to see kirby snap at him #just once #but im not a big Marx guy (yet?) so my bias is probably showing #kirby can say fuck just this once it’s the only way marx would listen #probably because he’d be so shocked and then go ‘LMAO what did you just say huh???’ #and then idk kirby could say something dramatic and Marx would realize he actually does need to shut the fuck up #but it would be very short lived because *sighs* it always is #marx is such a strange character to me i want to understand him so bad but i guess probably no one can??? #it just hurts my head #not that I hate or even dislike him im just having a hard time actually liking him lol #but whatever #happy cringe day wednesday #my art or something #kirby #marx kirby #kind of a weird cringe day Wednesday post but i think it fits

[yuukei-yikes]

i like that it's canon haruka is really pretty. my proof is 1. konoha getting away with being a freak just cuz he looks good (pretty privilege) 2. jin says haruka would smell really good 3. is voiced by mamoru miyano

#i will never shut up abt mamoru miyano being casted ONLY for saeru and not rly with haruka and konoha in mind #and it was 2013/2014 and it was The Thing to sell thru Sexy evil guy (shaking in anger) and it was like. on purpose #but i have got to live laugh love and focus on haruka for my well being. i hate you saeru i hate what youve done. #ok yes saeru but particularly. KUROHA #yes theyre the same #but im an old time fan and kuroha is more specifically THAT time. bad times. #I HATE IT!!! I HATE IT!! AND ANYONE WHO SAYS KOKONOSE TRIPLES OWES ME MONEY FOREVER #sorry. im normal. thats a real thing people did. #anyways. pretty guy haruka❤️ i like to think of takane meeting him for the first time #but she's probably never stopped to look at a guy in her life and its like #OK YOU KNOW SKIP AND LOAFER SKIP LAUGH LOAF #when shima asks for mitsumis contact and she's like Whoa now that i look at him hes so sparkly. all people in tokyo must be sparkly #(camera pans out and the whole classroom is like IKEMEN!!!) #something like that. except there is no class. its just takane by herself assuming haruka is totally normal looking #and hes just sparkly for no reason #and she feels weird because he's a freak #i think thats something rly funny abt takane's feelings for haruka #she feels Weird (likes someone) and attributes it to haruka being weird. like girl shes so delusional i love her #kagevinnie #does anyone read all my tags #btw im doing hw. well supposed to be doing hw. but i randomly pause to post bc im kageproing at all times and most importantly #yuukei yesterdaying at all times

[pineappical]

so that finale huh.

#ted lasso spoilers #ITS..... NOT GOOD... NOT BAD EITHER.... its a finale alright #i understood why he had to go back to his son i knew he couldnt stay in london forever but oh my fucking god what the fuck was that ....... #probably absolute horseshit take incoming but oh my goddddd just the whole thing with jamie and his dad and beard and jane what. what #its a show about bad fathers and forgiveness yeah and people can change but that doesnt excuse all the terrible things theyve done to you #before that... #IDK I CANT PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS RN IM JUST SO. SO BAFFLED? #there were alot of scenes i loved dearly like the singing and colin finally being able to kiss his fella or the video scene but it all felt #so so so rushed for some reason?? #i have so much more to say about this rip mail for getting the brunt of my insane ramblings on dc IM SORRY AHJGKVJHAGDF #BUT IDK??? spare some thoughts? talk to me about it. send an ask or reply idfk i wanna hear people's thoughts on it #i know ted must be happy to be with his son again and we just. dont know what his life is like back in kansas so. scratches head #not art #pn.txt #its 1am.. ill probably come back to this later to add more thoughts IDK

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

[tsukasageorge]

Day 18: Character Design/Ref

remember my magical girl oc named kyrie? yeah i have another one

oh my god this gave me so much trouble for literally no reason. i liked this design when i initially sketched it out but drawing it again made me kind of hate it?????? i literally have no idea whats going on in this design and also their face looks wrong but its okay bc its done now

~2hr 15min???

#raey draws #xchallenge #raey oc #'it doesnt have to be good it just has to be done' is probably the best mindset you can have as an artist imo #cause if you're an artist you'll probably never be Good. and i dont mean that in a bad way #your art will always be beautiful and have value no matter what. what i mean is like #you will almost always have higher expectations for yourself than you can realistically achieve no matter what your skill level is #and on one hand that's good bc it pushes you to keep going and keep improving #but it's also really really discouraging because your expectations grow With your art skills and sometimes it feels like you'll never be #An 'Actually Good' Artist #basically what im trying to say is. you have to make bad art. its literally impossible for you to only make good art. #making bad art is whats gonna make you able to make good art #anyways since this gave me so much trouble im going to talk a little about kye as a treat #their real name is kyrie but since they're already besties with a different person named kyrie everyone calls them kye #(everyone actually calls them jorts) #kye does own pants that are not jorts. HOWEVER they are committed to an incredibly stupid bit #and will refuse to wear anything but jorts when in front of other people #kye saturn and kyrie are all best friends (plus mac but its gonna be 5 years before i design him) #kye and kyrie are gym bros and have some deep soulful bond that transcends time or whatever (they have the same name) #kye and saturn are the 'cant stand her fake ass!! 10 mins later: me and the bestie' meme #kye and mac are not really Best Friends outside of their friend group but they kind of understand each other on some deep subconscious leve #cause they had similar childhoods + cause of death #ok thats it bye

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh. #i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days. #unrelated