#it got posted on 8:30 pm when I was having dinner
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How to Wake Up Early
I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.
Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.
I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.
Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.
That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.
Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.
So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.
I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.
1. Reset your space the night before
This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.
Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.
2. Early dinner
I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.
3. No devices before sleeping
I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.
4. Using Alarmy app
This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.
5. Keep your phone across the room
Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.
6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm
Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.
I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.
Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.
7. Turn a small light on
Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.
8. Be consistent, even on weekends
The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.
What do I do if I have a late night?
It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.
If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.
#c suite#powerful woman#strong women#ceo aesthetic#personal growth#that girl#productivity#q/a#getting your life together#balance#waking up early#neuroscience#Andrew Huberman’s#K-pop#jihyo
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do you know when the next chapter of the trial run will be uploaded ?? ik you just posted chapter three but I’m too excited 😆
it'll probably be sometime later next week or next weekend I'm afraid as I have a lot of homework, but in the meantime I can offer a longer sneak peek of chapter four!
Bradley’s beginning to think that this boyfriend thing is way easier than most guys make it out to be. All he has to do is let you know that he’s thinking about you, text you good morning and good night with some cringey emojis, and flirt with you whenever he can. In fact, he can’t help but feel like he’s the clingy boyfriend because you don’t entirely reciprocate any of it. You respond simply to his text messages and he only ever gets a small smile from his flirting. You seem happiest when he tells you that he’s thinking about you, but then he sees you with Bob or Mickey and suddenly they’re blowing him entirely out of the water.
Bradley does not consider himself to be a jealous person, but when two literal freshmen are getting you to laugh until your stomach hurts and he can barely get you to smile, it’s a blow his ego can’t stand. So, even though it's something he never does, Bradley invites you over to Sigma Chi for a chill date night. Maybe you’re just not a text message girl.
And that might honestly be a good thing. Bradley’s learned through Makayla’s constant pestering that he’s not much of a text message guy either and, though the insincere emojis are easy, they’re starting to become a bit of a chore. As of now, Makayla’s actively belittling his attempts—with far too many emojis—by stating that he should have taken you to dinner or something more impressive, but you always seem a little overwhelmed if you’re in a public place without Giselle so, much like constant texting, Bradley doesn’t think you’ll even want that.
Instead, he raids the house kitchen for snacks, finds a movie he thinks you’ll like on Netflix, and calls it a day. And he’s so sure that this will work, that this will finally be enough to get you to treat him like you treat Bob and Mickey because Bradley is capable of being a good boyfriend. But then it’s 7:00 pm and you have yet to show up. And then 7:30. And then 8:00. And Bradley’s checking his phone again, grumbling over the fact that he just got stood up in his own bedroom. Just when he’s about to call it for the night, the door to his room flies open and you stumble in out of breath.
“I’m so sorry,” your eyes are lit up in panic, backpack slung haphazardly over your shoulder. “I completely lost track of time, I swear I didn’t mean to be late.”
“Well, you— Were you crying?” Bradley squints when the dim lights of his room reflect against your wet cheeks and waterlogged lashes.
You swallow, wiping at your eyes hastily as you shake your head. “No, I think it’s allergies. I—”
“C’mere.”
You listen to Bradley’s words instantly, padding into his room softly until you're right in front of him. From this distance it’s obvious to Bradley that you have been crying, your cheeks and nose puffy and your eyes red, and it appears his mention of it has brought the tears back as your eyes have become glassier with every step. Bradley gives your hair a gentle tug.
“You wanna try that again?” He asks softly.
Your shoulders rise and fall in a pitiful shrug. “I take my political science final in two days and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna fail it.” You go to wipe at your cheek again, but Bradley does it for you, wiping the tear away with the pad of his thumb. “I’m really trying too, I just… I looked at the study guide and I didn’t understand anything.”
Bradley nods slowly. He wants to be mad, you embarrassed him—granted not publicly, but still. He set up this whole thing for you and you were an hour late. But he can’t be mad, not when he knows that you’ve been crying over a textbook that whole time.
Carefully, Bradley takes your backpack off your shoulder and holds it in one of his hands. You’re looking up at him with doe eyes, head cocked in confusion, and he wipes another tear from your cheek. “You wanna change, sunshine?”
You’re in jeans and t-shirt that don’t look entirely comfortable and his closet full of clothes is right there. He can’t imagine you’ll be very comfortable sitting on his bed in denim. You glance at his closet.
“What do you mean?” You’re only more confused when Bradley lifts your bag up to open it.
“Well, problem number one is that you’re studying in jeans.” Bradley sets your bag on his bed, murmuring offhandedly as he flips through your textbook. “Where’s your study guide?”
You sniffle, pointing at the folder peeking out of your bag.
With the hand not holding your open textbook, Bradley reaches for it, scanning the stapled pieces of paper. “The bathroom's the next door over.”
“What…” Your eyes dart from his closest to him to the textbook and study guide in his hands.
“You can stay in your clothes if you want.” After looking through them briefly, Bradley sets your textbook and study guide on his bed and brings his attention back to you. “I just figured you’d be more comfortable studying in something else.”
You swallow, looking up at him as you roll your bottom lip through your teeth. “You’re helping me study?”
“Perks of having a boyfriend who’s already taken this class,” Bradley grins.
It takes a moment for you to look anything but confused and internally Bradley feels a tinge of panic because maybe this isn’t what boyfriends do. And if it’s not then he has no idea what he should be doing instead. Right when he was about to say something that he’d figure out when he opened his mouth, you lunge forward suddenly and hug him tightly.
“Thank you,” you say against his cotton t-shirt.
Your voice is shaky and Bradley can tell that you’re starting to get overwhelmed like you do, so he wraps his arms around you slowly. “You don’t gotta thank me, sunshine.”
“Can I… Can I change?” You look up at him and something stirs in Bradley’s stomach. “I think you’re right that my jeans aren’t that comfortable.”
Bradley shakes off whatever he’s feeling, releasing you gently to grab an old shirt from his closet. He holds it up for you as if to ask if it’s okay and you nod with a small smile, taking it from him before slowly leaving the room. Bradley waits for the door to close behind you before moving to sit on his bed, lost in thought.
He feels weird, like something fuzzy in the pit of his stomach. It’s a feeling he’s only mildly familiar with, it happens when he makes you laugh too. It could be accomplishment. This feeling means he’s getting somewhere with you. And getting somewhere with you means he’s getting somewhere with Makayla. And that’s why he feels this way.
Bradley flips the page of your study guide.
But what he’s feeling about you isn’t important, not when he’s finally been given boyfriend status. Because you came to him, not Bob or Mickey or Giselle. You got overwhelmed with school and you chose to come to Bradley. In fairness, the two of you already had plans, but Bradley Bradshaw counts his wins.
The door of his room opens again and you shuffle in, your clothes balled up in your hand as your bare feet step onto his floors unsurely.
“You can— Uh,” Bradley stutters a bit when he looks up, that weird feeling coming back and he has to blink a few times to clear his head. “You can put those anywhere.”
The t-shirt of his you have on reaches your mid-thigh and something sparks in Bradley’s mind at the sight. The whole thing looks like a dress on you and Bradley knows there’s a good chance he’ll never get this shirt back, but just the thought that you’d be the one wearing it fills Bradley with thoughts he knows he should not be having about you.
You make your way over to the bed after setting your clothes down on an empty chair, gnawing at your lip as Bradley fights with his endocrine system to try and stay composed. “Thank you for studying with me. You really don’t have to.”
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Why don't you describe or write more about their routine (Hades and Persephone)?
I like to read your ideas and use them as a basis for inspiration to make a comic of the two of them in the future
I really like your blog/work ✌️
Omg this was my legit reaction when I got your ask:
LOL but fr thank you so much! I’m honestly so glad you and so many others enjoy hearing my thoughts and ramblings and reading my fics and whatnot! It makes me so so sooooo happy that other people can enjoy my self indulgent postings and stuff with me! I also love that you and many others get inspired by my headcanons and like them so much that you guys use them for comics and role plays and fanfictions! It makes my heart so happy and honestly it inspires me to follow my dreams of being an actress/voice actress (helping create and flesh out a character with acting lol) or even an author writing books for different media franchises like Disney and video games and stuff lol!
Anyways, enough of me going on and on lol! I’d love to talk about Hades and Persephone’s daily routine! I’ll make a little schedule layout of what a regular day is like for them:
Hades:
6:00 AM - Wake up/eat breakfast
7:00 AM - Start daily underworld work (organizing new arrivals, signing important scrolls, etc.)
12:00 PM - Lunch break
1:30 PM - Daily update meeting with Pain & Panic
2:00 PM - Cont. underworld work
5:00 PM - Plan evil schemes/schmooze with current or potential allies/chill out on the underworld throne (only if most of the important underworld work has been taken care of)
7:00 PM - Eat dinner
8:30-9:00 PM - Personal free time/get ready for bed
10:00-11:00 PM - Bedtime
Persephone (in the underworld):
6:00 AM - Wake up/eat breakfast
8:00 AM - Start daily underworld work with Hades (she’s not much of a morning person and it takes her a while to wake up and get ready for the day)
12:00 PM - Lunch with Hades
1:30 PM - Daily update meeting with Hades, Pain, and Panic
2:00 PM - Cont. underworld work (mainly helping Hades with his work, tending to the agriculture in Asphodel Meadows, checking on the souls in Asphodel Meadows, etc.)
5:00 PM - Join Hades in “meetings” with current or potential allies/busywork/chill and talk with Hades in the throne room
7:00 PM - Dinner with Hades (if he isn’t working late)
8:30-9:00 PM - Personal free time alone or with Hades/get ready for bed
10:00-11:00 PM - Bedtime
Persephone (during spring):
7:00 AM - Wake up/have a quick breakfast
8:00 AM - Start seasonal work (planting flowers/trees/bushes/etc., helping wake up the wild animals from hibernation if Artemis hasn’t done it already, melting snow/ice, etc.)
1:00 PM - Eat lunch
2:00-2:30 PM - Cont. seasonal work
5:00 PM - Eat dinner
6:00-6:30 PM - Cont. seasonal work (slower paced, checking details, adding finishing touches)
8:00 PM - Personal free time alone (if Hades doesn’t stop by for a visit)/get ready for bed
9:30-10:00 PM - Bedtime (either in a flowery field under the moonlight or in her personal room on Mount Olympus if there’s rain)
Of course, these aren’t EXACT schedules for them lol, they definitely change depending on the day, but this is just kinda a run down of what their daily is schedules are like. When they have children their schedules become a little different (at least in the underworld anyways) because they have to make time for their kids, but yeah lol
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WIEIAD TW: ED, undereating, cals, mention of ed thoughts+food guilt, this is your kind reminder to scroll away if this is the kind of thing that triggers you OR if you're considering/in recovery or if u just shouldn't/don't want to be consuming this content.
WIEIAD recovering from being sick and for some reason i actually had more than 2 meals today??? (Usually the absolute max) this is good ig, gonna try to be happy instead of sad abt this. I'm vegetarian btw in case anyone is wondering why there's no meat or fish in my day.
Breakfast: Had some oatmeal but instead of using a splash of milk and mostly water, i used a splash of a chocolate protein shake my grandpa bought me, i can't stand liquid cals but i wanted to try it since protein shakes are usually like THE fit thing, it was way too high cal, i did have some more later but then i gave the rest to my younger sibling, cuz it's essentially choc milk and obv she liked it so idrc. With the oatmeal, i had an apple, and recently i replaced sugar with honey for most things idk why it was kind of random but it happened so i used a teaspoon of honey to sweeten the oatmeal instead of sugar. After that i had an orange (hard to believe i used to be scared of fruit bc of "sugars" and how "calorically dense" they are, i'm still pretty sensetive with fruit but i do eat them. Ngl i think the orange was a binge bc i rly wasn't going to have it and i didn't even want it and i felt full and had knew it was just gonna add calories, but i ate most of it out of control and threw away the last two slices, felt really bad after the binge too Cals: 364
Lunch: had some leftover ig stew? It's a traditional dish called "canja" but it's essentially a chicken stew and all the other ingredients can vary quite a bit, i had half a boiled carrot, with 2tbsp of the rice and i added 1tbsp of canned black eyed peas for protein and heated it all up. Afterwards, i had about half a berry yoghurt and threw the rest away :/ Cals: 98
Pm snack: had a small slice of melon and a 10kcal zero sugar jelly, it's so good and cheap, i bought it when i was sick cuz i felt like gelatin so i wouldn't puke again but i couldn't stand sugar so problem solved. Cals:28
Dinner: had like 5 bits of colourful twisty pasta (sry idk the name of it, it's like penne pasta but it's twisted and not hollow, yk?), and another 1/2 of boiled carrot, with 1tbsp of black eyed peas and less than half a beetroot. Cals: 66
Late night/post dinner snack: immediately after dinner i got hiccups and i hate hiccups; they're terrible so i had some tea to calm down (it actually kind of worked? Thank God cuz hiccups are so painful) and a plain buiscuit. Cals: 31
Daily total: 587kcal (trying not to be too harsh on myself, especially as i was literally sick yesterday but i still feel terrible as this is more than double my daily limit, ik that's terrible). Got around 23grams of protein, which is prob not enough, i could have just had the full protein shake as it would have given me 25g of protein but i'm really scared of liquid calories.
Water: not sure exactly how much but i know i got at least 2L, prob a little over it. My goal is 3L when i do overexercise a lot but 2.5L when i do nornal exercise. When i don't reach this goal i have to have at least 2L otherwise i feel bad.
Exercise: decided to try out sprint intervals instead of long running but only managed 6mins or so of 30:30 sprint intervals, so i learnt something new to work on, increasing my resistence during sprinting. Looking on the positive side of things is always nice ♡ (≈50cals?)
Sleep: tommorow i don't have school so despite going to bed at almost 12pm i'm hoping to sleep a lot. Update, i had maybe 7hrs or so. Not enough as the amount women need is between 8-10hrs and men only need around 7-8hrs (again gonna depend on a lot of other things, don't feel bad for sleeping "too much", if ur concerned it could be a symptom of something, visit a doctor if you can cuz both being under and overly tired can be a sign smth is worng, but as long as ur having at least the minimum amount it's fine ig). Sorry i just wanted to info dump abt the amount of sleep u need hehe, but srsly i haven't been getting enough sleep recently which sucks cuz i love sleeping.
I know it was a lot of writing. Stay safe and have a good day 🩷
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dropping the 90 dop challenge
For the past few days (ever since my final exams started i guess?) i've been feeling pretty low so i didn't care to post (sorry) and didn't even study much. so, i was procrastinating on posting.
this post basically talks about how those days went and also about what i plan to do now.
i was also procrastinating on laundry. so now, when im home, i brought back a huge back of unwashed laundry with me.
my math exam was bad. my programming exam was kinda bad too. my physics exam went okay-ish. my bio exam kinda went okay-ish too. my trw exam.. i have no idea. i don't know what mistakes the professors will point out. and my engineering exam went pretty okay ( a lil more than ok if u consider the expectations i had).
anyways, the day my exams ended, i slept a lot. i slept at 12 pm and woke up at 5 pm. for dinner, we all bought food from outside.
recently i got a little comfortable with eating chicken with friends but i talked to my parents and subtly asked them if they'd be ok with me eating chicken and my father said no so i decided to go all veg (except for shawarma because shawarma is a non veg thing). so during this dinner, me and my other veg friend bought some veg food while the other girls bought some chicken.
i didn't sleep the whole night of 20th, basically. my parents were picking me up from hostel early next morning and it was already late and i didn't want to wake up late. so i spent the night watching some bl dramas.
they didn't show up at 6 (time they were supposed to show up). they showed up at 8 and by then i had got around an hour of sleep in. we went to this wedding. stayed there until after lunch. took an aunty home with us to stay with us for the day (my social battery was exhausted by now and having the aunty at home pissed me off though i was nice with her just two hours ago). i slept the whole car ride home. i spent most of the rest of my day on my phone. aunty left. i watched a bit of "freaky friday" (the one with lindsay lohan) while eating dinner. then i stayed up a bit for some reason and then i slept.
today--
i woke up at 10 30 and my father was pissed about it and he seemed pissed for the rest of the day too. my gran was a lil pissed too but all she said was to wake up early next morning(5) and that she won't let me off this time.
Okay but like, COME ON ITS HOLIDAYS CUT ME SOME SLACK
that's like, annoying.
but ok.
so gran assigned me duties that say i should wake up early at like 5, do the rangoli (nothing special just lines), and water the plants.
ok.
i watched the rest of freaky friday, a little bit of home alone. i did the dishes many times today. i organised my clothes and put away a lot of clothes i didn't want to wear anymore.
WHAT I PLAN TO DO IN THE HOLIDAYS:
well, i plan to learn some drawing during the holidays. i like drawing but i'm not so good at it. so yeah. i've saved some youtube playlists and skillshare lessons.
i also want to watch a few movies from my list.
i even want to help my mother and grandmother with cooking.
Also read? My friend suggested this book called "luv shuv in new york" i'm going to be reading that.
and i even wanna go shopping with my mother, brother. (separate trips with both of them).
that's it i guess?
I kinda wanna do at least one productive thing everyday during the holidays.
alright bye!!
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Pop Up Comfestcon Kuwait
28-29/9/2023
Yup basically going for Mackenyu and here is to record my memories ^^
At the beginning I was hesitating if I should go or no as I know him as a Japanese actor but I wasn't closely following his projects
But seeing how much he's growing I felt like it's a once in a life opportunity so I decided to go
I arrived at Kuwait on 28 of sep around 4 pm so I missed the first photo session with him
I was able to see him talks on the stage which was around 6:30 pm
It was funny he suddenly entered without announcement, loved his way of pronouncing the Arabic food ^^ and it was a nice chat with Yao Kazuki, tbh he was goofing, joking and laughing a lot like his Japanese interviews, he must felt comfortable being with another Japanese ^^
Next I lined up for the signing session, reached at around 8:30 pm, they told me I need to have something for him to sign on and I was like what? I thought he will give a signed photo of him!!! so yeah rushed to buy a Zoro cardboard for him to sign and came back, glad they didn't ask me to line up again that was so nice of them ;~; and finally entered and saw him so close ;^; he is so white !! that was my first impression XD
idk he seemed like non talkative person, the staff was the one who would give him the objects to sign, not us so he took the board and started signing just like that, I tried to start a convo like "hi how are you?" then paused, for a moment I thought he won't reply but he finally responded with "hey I'm good" "I came from Saudi Arabia for you" he finally looked at me with "oh" smiled and "thanks"
Next day, I arrived around 2 pm , I really love Kuwaiti people ;^; <3 they were like welcoming me knowing I'm from Saudi by the way I'm talking XD
I lined up around 2:45 pm for the photo session, my turn was at 4:15 pm , this time they told us no chatting and of course no phones allowed, when I entered he looked me in the eyes, stared, smiled and welcomed me! all I was able to tell him was “Glad you made it back from the mall” he said “yeah” with a chuckle /based on his ig story/, I think he thought he saw me before hence the staring and I should've had re-introduced myself but I got flustered , wanted to take the photo and get out immediately 😂 I couldn't look him in the eyes again, I only said "thanks" and I left shaking with my heart beating so fast (I was like wth that's came out of no where!!!)
Then I went sitting for the cosplay run /which was fun/ while waiting for the signing session again, Mackenyu suddenly went on the stage even though he wasn't supposed to that day, to announce that he will be extending his photo session which was so nice of him ^^ the funny thing he did Buggy OPLA's hand movement to silence the crowd from screaming for him to talk 😂
I lined up at 7 pm and reached by 7:30 pm, this time the line moved fast so I knew they were rushing things , I intended to re-intoduce my self but decided to just thanks him for coming, it was like:
“ほんとに楽しかった” .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡. and he spread his arms cheerfully saying “よかった”╰(´︶`)╯"お疲れ様でした" ^^♡ and I left, this time he signed my photograph with him
lastly after he finished his session we said byebye while he was leaving ^^
Some end rumbling:
-Surprisingly I was staying at the same hotel with some of the fest guests, it was "Raddison Blue" I got to see Yao Kazuki and the foreign staff that were organizing Mackenyu sessions
-The first night Mackenyu went to the ship restaurant named "Al Boom Steak &Seafood" /based on the guy's ig who had dinner with him, funny I wanted to dine there that night but decided last minute to dine there the next night 😂
btw the resturant is so nice and the steak is delicious I loved it, and the ship itself you feel like it was really a one piece trip ~
-The second night Mackenyu posted the advanced birthday cake and it looked like the table is in the restaurant at the hotel named "Peacock Chinese", I passed by it that night but didn't enter 😂
-I was reading some reports in how the fans felt Mackenyu was uncomfortable and the staff was too strict, being a fan of Jpop and going to some of their events that do have a lot of rules, I felt that was totally normal , like I always do with these, I tried to have the best time and live in the moment without causing too much trouble to the ones working there and tbh I'm contented with this experience ^^
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Tumblr for 05/04
Hi tumblr,
I am writing this post at 10:52 pm and today I woke up at 8:00 am and slept at 3:30 am. After I got up, I got ready and then went to work. Then, I went to Kerckhoff to eat my left over cava from yesterday when I finished my shift at 12:00pm. Then I went to class and after I hung out with friends and got Bplate for dinner at 8:00 pm with more friends. After dinner, me and my friend @ashleylim <3 sat in her dorm and talked which was very fun. Overall, today was not great. I am currently kinda of sick and I feel so tired and dead inside. I want to sleep, but I can't because I have so much work to do. I also have to work tomorrow and I really do not want to go to work because I am tired and sick.
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I’ve been thinking about this platform as being the best one to continue blogging, so I’ll be posting again about my attempts to fix my lifestyle and myself while being clinically depressed and trying to deal with newly diagnosed OCD through studies, sports, and planning (doubtfully but hopefully). It's better to start doing something once you get an urge, even if there’s a chance you'll drop out, because what if you accidentally manage to develop some working method that will stay?
Pinterest aesthetics have an influence on me and I get inspired or even obsessed with new ideas (I am not proud of it, but at least I can turn it into something useful?). So, despite not being a girl, I got into this "that girl" lifestyle because I wanted to love myself, shape myself and strive for something since I completely lost any passion or desires. Those aesthetics help me see goals and ways to reach them clearer, so it is helpful to follow what the people within the community do.I struggled with an eating disorder when I was a teenager, so the only strategy is not to fall into it again this time. I really want to keep my diet and body healthy.
I have already had two very productive trips to the gym in a row in recent days, and I remembered that sport actually IS enjoyable for me; I am just too lazy to put in the effort and time. However, I've got a possibility to go to the gym for free right now, so I hope that it will take away the pressure. Let’s see how it goes.
My studies are currently extremely difficult for me. I even seem to replace the time I could spend on it to go to the gym, also leaving all my energy there. I'm not sure how to explain why I can't carry on my studies, even though it sounds so simple: just sit down and study! But I can't concentrate and I can't control myself at all, so I hope that going through it with help of a blog could help.
My schedule today was kinda like this:
7:00 woke up
7:00 - 7:20 cooking breakfast (that’s a new habit I’m trying to keep already for 2 weeks!)
7:20 - 7:40 eating and reading
7:40 - 8:00 getting ready for school
9:15 - 11:30 at uni
13:00 - 15:00 gym
And then I didn't do aaaaanything productive nor useful at home except cooking dinner and journaling. I won't go to the gym tomorrow because my presentation is due by Friday at 2 pm and I have yet to begin working on it, so I will have to stay after lectures at the school library and study really hard unless I’ll be screwed.
I hope my tomorrow’s schedule will look like:
7:00 - 8:00 same routine
9:15 - 14:00 (very approximate ending time) uni
14:00 - 15:00 lunch?
15:00 - 21:00 making presentation slides
I really don't have that much time left for the presentation and I think it will result in pulling an all-nighter but thankfully it is just a draft. And I have to buy new sweatpants since mine are practically a waste.
P.S. I could've spent the time I spent writing this post on making the presentation, but I didn't.
P.P.S. I was never good with day planning and can only analyse the day after it has already passed, otherwise lists and plans are making me nervous.
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mundane lil family rant for this morning 👌
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over the summer i had been going over to my family’s/moms house pretty frequently, at least 2-3x a week and weekends to spend time with my mom and make sure everything was okay.
the week of my (and my brothers) birthday, everyone in the house got covid — so we had to cancel our family birthday dinner (it was really casual but we try to do it every year) and i also found out i would be traveling to oregon (and later texas) for work. so i wasn’t able to see my family before that bc they were sick
so then i got back and went over the next day and saw my mom and everything was good!! we caught up and she seemed to be doing pretty well
but then the school year started back up and my current schedule is really split up (with mornings 5:30-8:30 and afternoons 3:30 - whenever the last kid gets picked up until 7 pm lol) — and i have space in between but my mom doesn’t wake up until 2-3 pm most days so going over then would be pointless, and going over past 7 pm would be pointless bc i have to be back here by ~9 to feel like i have any chance of getting to sleep to wake up on time lol
ANYWAY wow so these last two weeks i’ve been texting and calling just to check in, and also calling after work bc if i am going to stop by i want to make sure she’s there/awake/okay
but !
im currently being ghosted by her and she’s not answering my calls and i reached out to my sister bc i was getting worried and apparently she talked to her on the phone yesterday 🫠 so it’s me 🫠🫠 and it’s gotten to the point where now it’s saturday and i can go over but i feel anxious and awkward (and honestly my feelings are hurt???) bc i don’t just want to show up at a place where i am unwanted
but then i think, colleen u are an adult and this is not a child/mother relationship and you also have to see it rationally that your mom is not well and processes thoughts and feelings differently rn bc of her brain deteriorating. i’ve seen it in action that when she decides she is against someone, even for the slightest reason, that’s it — they can’t do anything right and it’s completely black and white in her head. i’ve just never been so outwardly the person in question and it hurts lol
and i think if that is the case, it’s bc there was an issue last week with money accidentally being taken out of her account instead of mine for our phone bill — and im frustrated if that’s it because 1) i immediately sent her the money back and an extra amount for the confusion and 2) ive been paying her 3rd of the bill for the last 3 years bc she isn’t able to, and now money is more of a stressor for me and i’ve asked her to pay when she is able and it has been ignored each time so im paying double and im not always in the position to do that 👹 so the resentment there is …. definitely not hiding lol and i know it but i’ve been doing it bc i know at the end of the day im still in a more stable position financially and will not regret helping her in these ways in the long term, it’s just in the short term sometimes i feel taken advantage of (also to clarify, the phone situation was all communicated through my sister whom she is talking to lol because she was at the house right then — no direct communication through my mom despite sending her the money/asking if she was upset abt it ☠️)
idk this is all a convoluted way of saying im upset that my family still has so much power to hurt my feelings like a child lol
and im also laughing bc she posted this on fb during this whole thing (so i also know health wise, she’s at least somewhat fine bc she’s active on there)
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January 7/8 2023
Work was pretty slow for the most part. I made a good day of sales. I opted out of approved overtime because I was tired and slept like shit. Baby didn’t nap and after work I asked her if she wanted to go on a walk and she said no. She was too immersed in Sesame Street. I didn’t go on a walk by myself because for the past several days I’ve been waiting on this cyst to finally burst on my left side. I’ve been using the heating pad anytime I get a chance because the mattress we have is a pile of shit. She has been a fucking nightmare. Defiant, and just a shithead overall. I love my kid no doubt about it but this is me venting on how fucking aggravating she is. We put her to bed after a warm bath about 830 and within ten minutes she is out. I think I fell asleep around nine or ten.
About five I woke up and went back to sleep. Around eight she woke up and I got up and gave her a drink and put on paw patrol. I laid back down and finally around nine this morning (Sunday, 1/8) I got up with her while her dad slept (lucky bastard) I had half a bacon sandwich for breakfast. I moved my phone, water bottle and took my PV with me to the other room. Not sure when he woke up. I went to get her a snack this morning and realized the bananas are going bad and I made banana bread.
Not sure when I took a nap but in that time she sprayed her juice all over the carpet. We rent and that was fun to clean. Zod shampooed the entire house that’s carpeted and we disciplined her. I shredded the chicken he made last night from the crockpot and he seasoned it. I have some to her and had a sandwich. Afterwards I napped for a whole 20 minutes!111 😤
That’s when she became a fucking terrorist and he had to shampoo the house because of this little shithead 😑 the banana bread gave me some awesome heartburn I made some ramen for dinner and of course she painted the walls with it. I’m so fucking over this fucking destructive behavior. No matter what we do she honestly doesn’t give a f flying fuck and no fuck gentle parenting
She’s been given water with tiny ice cubes to drink. No more juices or punch.
I have had the worst fucking migraine. I chalk it up to stress, my back, my cysts, and this wonderful migraine. I took some medication for it with a cold beer and a hot bath which helped. After the bath, it came back with a vengeance. It’s 8:30 pm and I can’t wait for bedtime in the next hour.
This beer is helping me forget about getting older. I looked all afternoon to find a therapist that takes my insurance and I am just so fucking mad. They don’t work on my days off and they’re all men who don’t specialize in PPD/anxiety/and women’s issues. This fucking sucks. I need just an hour or two to myself and if I could just escape for a few hours alone I’d call that a fucking vacation.
Tomorrow (1/9/23 Monday) more than likely I’ll work overtime. We need it and it’s a nice cushion. This week it’s an extra ten on top of what I make and bonus. I’m just tired of working overtime even on my days off. It could be worse, I could be still living with his brother and bitch of a sister in law where she’d watch us in the kitchen. Glad we have had our freedom back for almost three years.
Ignore this post. I’m just a bitter ole’ bitch
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Today I had a revelation!
Ha, psyche!
Anyways, today has been a day of rest for me. Yesterday, I got off work, ran a bunch of errands, got my back cracked like a glow stick, felt good for like 15 minutes till the pain set in again (always fun), and then went to do more errands. Then I had work training and then went home and attempted to stay awake so I wouldn't mess up my sleep schedule due to working overnights. I drank coffee with a shot of espresso at the training to help this.
It didn't work. I passed out by 8:30 pm. And then slept till almost noon, woke up with a really bad headache and neck pain, and then I took a 2 hour nap. Sleep is hard, lmao
In good news, I read and then realized I should do something productive today so I cleaned the kitchen. I did struggle to get some burned water stains off my glass stove however (I got distracted from making Mac and cheese) so if anyone has better advice than scrubbing with the scratchy part of a Scrub Mommy, I would appreciate it.
I have plans to eat dinner with my Mom when she gets home from work and then shower. I might dye my hair, my roots are starting to show, and against the red, it makes it look gray. Which ain't a vibe. I'm only 24 and my back pain makes me feel old enough as is.
But I need to clean my bathroom so I can have some counter space to dye my hair. But I should do that now because Mom will probably go to bed right away and the bathroom is right against her ceiling. So I don't want to wake her...but I don't think I want to. Maybe I'll just shower and put it off again.
I've been thinking recently about the list I mentioned in a prior post. My Shit List. Specifically the part where I wrote why I should forgive them.
There wasn't a single answer about forgiving them for their benefits. They all started with, "Because I deserve..."
"Because I deserve to be happy."
"Because I deserve to feel loved."
"Because I deserve to feel safe."
It was weirdly empowering. Like, "huh. I do deserve that." It was as if I actually had a moment when I finally realized I did deserve to be happy.
Which tells me that at one point, I didn't believe I deserved it. And that makes me wonder, what happened to make me believe that I deserved less? At what point did I start believing I didn't deserve to be loved, happy, safe, healthy, or comfortable in my own skin?
I don't think I actually know the answer to that. But I do think that I do deserve to have all those things. I've actually been using it as a motivator for myself. Like, I didn't have the energy to brush my teeth this morning. But, I deserve to have healthy teeth. And I can do something about it to make sure I have that. So I did, I took that control and brushed my teeth.
I don't know why it works, and if it will work for others. But I genuinely am so happy that it means so much to me that it is helping me take control of things so I can improve my life.
I hope someone else can have this sort of thing too. It's made a lot of difference in my life, even though it's been less than 3 days. I guess I will have to return and update later down the road for a long term change. Wish me luck 🤞
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Wow wow weeeee wow. Day 2
Actually before I get to the good stuff….
So i woke up for day 2 feeling great. No hangover whatsoever! Happy water living up to its name. Nick on the other hand had been up 6 times in the night getting sick (both ends🫠). He even put himself to bed much earlier than I did so we’re thinking it might have been some of the meat maybe?? Anyways, he “wakes up” (he actually didn’t sleep due to other people’s sleeping noises and what have you) so he’s a mess, and stays in bed basically unresponsive until the last moment. Remember also that he’s supposed to be driving himself on these windy roads for 6+ hours. One look at him and I knew he couldn’t (or more importantly shouldn’t) do that. None of the drivers spoke well enough English for them to understand the situation but after some phone calls and some broken conversations I got through to them that he needed a driver (the cost of the trip is a lot less if you were to drive yourself so he had already paid for a driver and when you’re driving you can’t take in any of the scenery like you can on the back). A stressful start but we got him a driver and the fresh air did him good. We start driving and what do we get blessed with?? SUNSHINE!!!! GLORIOUS SUNSHINE!!!! I started crying within the first 10 minutes ( happy tears).
The views were absolutely incredible, the sun was beaming we were so warm and everything was glowing. The difference the sun made was everything. I was expecting cold weather the whole way through so this was SUCH a treat. Throughout the day layers and layers were peeled off as we got to bask in the sun and feel the warm breeze. We went to the furthest most northern point of Vietnam. We saw the border to china and took a million photos and videos. I was feeling fabulous. Nick on the other hand was wishing he had never been born and will never sleep in a shared hostel room again lol. Also claims he’s never drinking again but it’s our friends’ birthday tomorrow so good luck.
When we got to the next hostel he paid extra for a private room so he could get some sleep *diva moment I was foreshadowing earlier* (in his defence the night before his pukey happy water fiasco we had the same group sleep situation in the hostel and he had gotten no sleep that night so he had 2 sleepless nights in a row and if there’s one thing to know about nick it’s he needs his 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Or else). He went to bed at 4 pm and woke up the next morning at 8 am so it was money well spent and he woke up a new human. I also should mention that the alternative to the private room was one HUGE room with like 30 people?? Maybe more?? And someone got sick all over their bed and it sounded like a nightmare. A bit too college-esque for my liking and nick would have most certainly lost his mind.
While nick was having his beauty sleep we had another family style dinner, delicious as usual! Same things as the night before but I feel like I could eat rice tofu and veg everyday for the rest of my life. You probably already guessed after the pukey story that the happy water was flowing. Lots of happy water. Maybe a bit too much but you live and learn. Not much to report about that night, had a great time and put myself to bed pretty early. One thing I love about drunk Tess is she always puts herself to bed before she can make a total fool out of herself. She also doesn’t get sick on her bed either (except that one time after my 19th birthday but I’ve grown up since those days)
Tumblr only lets me add 10 photos so I’ll make more posts with more pictures xx
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Days 25 and 25 - back in Ushuaia
Day 24, Sunday, 8 January 2023
We awoke to find ourselves back in Ushuaia, tied up in port, with a busy bunch of people outside refuelling the ship and restocking the kitchen and bar. Our wake-up call came at 5:30 am and we had finished breakfast by 6 am.
We were already basically packed and ready to go, but we put the final things in our bags and said our goodbyes and were ready to roll. We got our disembarkation order and ran the lovely gauntlet of staff and friends all wishing us well and we were on the bus and at our hotel, the Alto Andino, by 8:30.
Unfortunately, check-in time was 2 pm so we sat around the foyer for quite some time, waiting for the minutes to tick by. I had a few short walks around the immediate vicinity and found very little open on Sunday. Late in the morning, we went out and found a place to eat (Tante Sara) in the centre of town - nothing special but we felt almost like locals with all the families and Sunday-lunchers around us.
It felt very hot with the official temperature at 24 degrees, feeling like 30, with no air conditioning. There was one small window in our room but it was quite stifling. (It took about four or five days to find the heater hidden in a corner behind the curtains. Once that was turned off, we could almost breathe again!)
We were able to check in about 2:30 and the room was quite nice, overlooking the front street. We unpacked and had a brief nap before exploring the rest of the building. We are on the third floor looking out at the mountains, but the floor above has fantastic views all around, as well as being the breakfast room and a great sitting/working area. We spent many hours up there watching the comings and goings in the port and town, as well as working on our photos and blogs. We can nearly always catch a breeze up there, despite it sometimes being a bit noisy when other people invade our hideaway.
We bought half a chicken with a few extras for dinner at a dingy little hole-in-the-wall diagonally opposite us and enjoyed that with a bottle of mediocre wine before falling into bed exhausted.
Day 25, Monday, 9 January 2023
I had a dreadful night with pain and fever and thought I had Covid again. I tested myself and I was negative and have been much better since then. Obviously, it was just yet another side-effect of the colds we have been carrying for weeks.
I finally managed to post something to my blog so we were very encouraged to work on it during the week while we had moderately reasonable internet access.
During the morning, we walked down to the main street and booked a tour for tomorrow. We had to go to a couple of places because each tourism agency seems only to handle a few operators and a lot of the tours we were interested in were already booked out.
We wandered up and down exploring the area and eventually settled on Moustaccios for lunch. It was a huge meal and I ordered a beer that turned out to be a litre: quite a challenge for me. It was an excellent, very indulgent meal for us, if a bit more expensive than we would normally choose but we certainly enjoyed it. We came away from lunch with a doggy box so dined on leftovers and purloined extras for dinner. We couldn’t find anything on TV in a lingo that we could understand so it has not been turned on again all week.
I decided to go birding around the lake that we had seen on our city tour prior to our expedition. I reckon I walked 6 or 7 kilometres and found quite a few birds, but it was blowing a gale and I think a lot of the birds were hiding out of the wind. Irrespective of the weather, I enjoyed it although it was good to get warm again inside our room.
We had purchased a few bits and pieces at a little minimart across the road and ate some of them with leftover chicken for dinner. We are looking forward to much better food on our next ship.
We spent a couple of hours on photos and blogs before going to bed. We had been keeping our window open to cool the room, but it started raining during the night and I had to get up and close it because the floor was getting wet.
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Blog 4
Hi guys! For this blog post I will be talking about my social media usage in a day. I decided to compare two different days, one where I have school and the other when I have more free time. Thursdays are very busy for me, I typically have class from 9:30 am to 3:15 pm. Then on Friday I do not have class, but I usually work from 4:00 pm to 10:30 pm. Thursday morning I woke up around 8:30 am so that I could leave the house at 9 am for class. After I woke up, I laid in bed for a little bit and checked my socials and text messages. Most mornings I get up and respond to my messages. I checked Snapchat and TikTok for roughly 5 minutes until I got out of bed for the day. Once I’m in my first class, I do not get on my phone typically unless I’m responding to a message from my parents. After I finish my first class, I then head to the next class. Before my second class starts at 11 am, I check my Snapchat again for any new messages. I'm on my phone for no more than 3 minutes. After that I didn’t get on social media until 1:50 pm. I used TikTok before my last class started, which is at 2 pm. Once I’m done with all my classes for the day, I headed home and didn’t end up using any social media until 4 pm. I sat on my bed and watched TikTok for about 30 minutes, then I got up and talked with my family. After chatting with my family, I got back on TikTok for another hour and then took a nap. Once I woke up around 7 pm, I checked my phone to see if anyone contacted me. I got on snapchat for 5 minutes to check snaps from my friends. I then proceeded to do something for dinner and I took a shower. From the time I got out of the shower to when I went to bed I was on Snapchat for 20 minutes, Instagram for 7 minutes, Facebook for 3 minutes, and TikTok for 75 minutes. At the end of the day I was on social media for about 3 hours and 33 minutes.
However, on Friday I did not end up getting up until 11 am. Again I checked Snapchat and my text messages for anything new, lasting 5 minutes. Then I got up and started to do my morning routine; use the bathroom, let dogs out, and make breakfast. While eating breakfast I sat on the couch on my phone. I was on TikTok for roughly 30 minutes until I decided to go back and lay in my bed. I got on snapchat for 6 minutes before I again got on tiktok for 40 minutes. After I was on social media, I took a nap until 3:00 pm. Once I woke up, I checked my messages and snapchat for 2 minutes, then proceeded to get up and ready for work. My work has horrible service so I do not get on my phone to check social media. I got off around 10:35 pm and went home. From the time I got home til when I went to bed I was on TikTok for an hour, Snapchat for 7 minutes, and Instagram for 2 minutes. At the end of the day I was on social media for roughly 2 hours and 32 minutes.
After doing this research I did not realize how often I was on social media. I was also very surprised by how I use social media more when I have a busier day.
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Personal Rant post
So yesterday was Diwali and as usual, that means a lot of cleaning and cooking. Normally we just make enough food for ourselves and our next door neighbor, but my dad's family got in touch last week, so that meant we had to invite them over for the dinner portion of the festivities. That also meant that now my mom had to make enough food to not only feed 10 people (excluding ourselves and neighbors [5 people total]), but also enough food for them to carry home.
Unfortunately, I couldn't help with any of that because according to my mom, I can't cook the food, can't prepare prasad, nor clean the prayer area when I'm menstruating (I had to spend the day at school anyway because attendance was mandatory). And the reason why I say my mom has to do it all, is not because my dad doesn't help, but because he's basically no help at all. Every year is the same thing where he pretends not to know how to do things, or acts like he's incapable of doing things (such as taking hours to do a task that should take no more than 30 minutes, or doing things like letting the rice overcook to become mushy. Borderline sabotage to the point where my mom will have to come and do or redo all of these things herself while he sits back down to watch TV. Keep in mind he's been doing this shit for over 30 YEARS). This year was even worse, because now he can use his shoulder surgery as an excuse to do less, which by the way, he's out of the arm sling and back to his job, and before this point has proven he's capable of doing a lot with one arm.
I got home from school around the time people started showing up. I went to check up on my mom and from the look on her face, I could tell it was the absolute worst this year. This woman already has hypertension, diabetes, asthma, anxiety, extreme body pains, and barely gets any sleep at all (you don't want to see how long her medication list is). The amount of stress she's had to deal with that day had her looking like she was going to pass out any second, and she was already battling heart palpitations since the day before.
She told me that my dad literally waited for me to leave for school, to start misbehaving like cursing her out and giving her the silent treatment. Which I totally believe because this is how he treats her when he thinks I'm not around to witness it (Dear dad, these walls are hella thin and the windows are not sound proof. I also look out of said windows every now and then. Sincerely, your pissed-off daughter). And as expected, my mom also reported to me that she had to do everything else while he only washed the dishes. She was literally still cooking when people started to arrive (around 6 pm. She was dealing with this shit since 11 am). Then when everyone arrived, he didn't even bother to offer them any drinks and didn't help set up the table. He can't do that even though this is his own family. He waited for my mom, who was now coming out of the shower, to do it all. She was literally the last person to eat and did not sit down to eat until after 8 pm because she had to pack food for the neighbors first.
After everyone had left and my mom was in the bathroom, my dad had the audacity to say "your mom went overboard," referring to all the food she had to cook and sweets she had to prepare. In my mind I was thinking, "are you even fucking aware of all the people we just had to feed? Not to mention that three of those people (my cousin, cousin's wife and son) decided not to show up?" I tried to hold my tongue and said, "what do you mean?" He replied, "Who do you think had to do all this work?"
In anger, my tongue slipped and out came a gentle, "Mom."
At this point I kinda blanked out as my head got really hot, realizing what I just said. I don't remember what his reply was but he was definitely pissed after I said that (as expected. He loves to pretend to be the victim. You could ask him about something bad he did without sounding accusatory, and he will then blow it out of proportion and say you're blaming him and throw a whole ass tantrum and walk out the door making sure to slam it. Every. F*cking. Time. Guilty conscience much?). So to smooth things over because I don't want him to poison me the next day (not an exaggeration. I'm being upfront about it now, I'm done covering for him to the public), I said, "I mean there's only so much you can do with your shoulder injury," basically using the same excuse he's been using all day. I wanted to laugh earlier when he pretended to struggle with scooping rice pudding into a bowl for my aunt. He deliberately was using his injured arm to scoop instead of using the arm he has been using for the past 3 months. So, here he was struggling to scoop a spoonful of rice pudding into a bowl and my aunts go "awww your arm" and now someone else had to come and do it.
So he then replied, "you don't think I still had a lot of work to do?" I didn't say anything but I wanted to say, "yeah, I know how you work." He then went outside, making sure to slam the door behind him (a glass sliding door, FYI). Sorry, dad, thanks to Dr. Ramani on YouTube, your narc tactics don't phase me anymore.
Last night my mom was telling me how she had hoped this year would be different and hope that he'd change. She told me that just the day before, everything was going smoothly, but then Diwali day came and it felt like he dropped a bomb on her. I asked my mom, "you're staying home from work tomorrow, right?" She said yes. Then I woke up this morning and she's at work. When I asked why, she said "we need the money." Which is something my dad is always saying (which btw, her whole paycheck usually goes into the bank account and he blows up every time he finds out that my mom withdraws some money from her paycheck for our emergency funds), so I know it's because of him that she didn't stay home from work. I asked her how she's feeling, she said not too great and that she's seeing triple and quadruple, or as she put it, "I'm seeing in 3's and 4's. I can't read what I'm typing."
I swear, the minute I get a stable pharmacist job, I'm moving out and taking her with me (after getting her a good divorce lawyer/attorney, of course. She gave this man her whole life and all he did was tear her down physically and psychologically for over 30 years of their marriage. I will make sure she gets the money and peace of mind she deserves). Thankfully, she works from home, so it wouldn't be too hard to set up at a new apartment. It will be difficult for some time with all the debt we collectively have, but we can face it together without that demon bringing us down at every minute.
“Your mom went overboard” my ass. Did it ever occur to you she went over board for YOUR family? The same family that doesn’t give a shit about her? And she did all of this while fasting…that means she didn’t eat anything all day, couldn’t take her medication and had all this labor to do. She made 24 paratha rotis by herself and coming from a Trinidadian background, that is a shit ton of work and usually takes more than one person to pull off in the time she pulled that off.
The fuckin audacity of this man
#personal rant#tw narcissistic parent#tw narcissism#tw narcissistic abuse#toxic relationship#narcissist#narcissism
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Oct 6
Meow meow greetings my friends and followers to yet another blog entry coming from my bedroom. I almost forgot to post a blog entry for today but nope I didn’t forget. Nya this neko boy is feeling pretty good. lI am winding down for another night where my dad went off to work around 7:30 pm which is the new norm until three weeks are up. I think I am kind of liking this new time change of his. Interesting enough this is the first week where my sister’s family isn’t spending dinner with us because their relatives are over. I don’t know if I told you all that they flew all the way from Malaysia to visit my sister, brother in law and their two kids. Meow I guess I have had already told you that because I feel like I must be repeating myself in that news but whatever. Nya this neko boy might post some other pictures right after this blog post. Meow today I had kind of repeat of yesterday where the events were the same except my mom today didn’t go for a walk with my sister. Nya this time around my mom got up and most haven’t been feeling well enough where she turned around and went back to sleep for a couple of hours. Right now my mom is watching a show in her room where I am in my room. I had been watching like a fix it video game console videos on YouTube when I remembered I haven’t posted an entry for today. I started a new moblie game yesterday called SAO IF an anime Sword Art Onlne moblie game. I first looked up the game on a YouTube channel and it looked okay. Meow I deleted that other game I had recently placed on my Google Pixel 6A. Oh speaking of my phone the day before yesterday which was Tuesday placed an order on Amazon for my new phone’s cover. A right size cover this time around since the one that came in was the wrong size aka for the Google Pixel 6 instead. Nya I have been writing more in the idea’s document that I created for my new story. I haven’t started this new story yet but I will. Meow I just learned from a VALVE YouTube video and many other Steam Deck YouTube videos that the Steam Deck is officially off that resevere first thing and you officially buy it forth right. Meow well that doesn’t mean anything to me because I still have to save up money enough until November which is gladly next month. Meow I have tomorrow and the rest of this month and then a couple of weeks before I can buy my Steam Deck. I guess without the need to place $5 to reserve the Steam Deck and wait several weeks to months to buy it is great news. Hopefully by November that same thing will take place and I can easily purchase the Steam Deck. Meow now moving onward from the Steam Deck news and when I am going to purchase it, I think after I buy the system, I will save up money again but not take that long that time around and purchase Cosplay clothing. Nya yeah I think there’s pretty good Cosplay clothing out there in the wilds of the internet that this neko boy will be willing to buy. I have a couple of ideas already on what I might buy. I have had for the longest that I might save up and buy some Final Fantasy outfits. I am thinking of purchasing some FInal Fantasy 8 Squall Leonhart cosplay outfit, Final Fantasy 7 cosplay outfit maybe Cloud Strife and Sephy. Meow this neko boy thinks that I probably have written a lot in this one blog entry. I think i might close for now. This is a rather strange evening because usually my sister’s family is over for dinner and stays to 9:30 pm. Meow well I guess that’s pretty much it for now. I will post some pictures right after this one from my phoine which is where I collect most of the pictures anyway. NIght from here.
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