#it is also now VERY late and i have work tomorrow oops

[heliosynchronisity]

Defrag Protocol - Cyborg!reader x Doc Ock

#sick-fic, #comfort, #established relationship etc.

mini CyDoc sick-fic cuz im epic and was sick this past week. You could also consider this a teaser for my actual cyborg!reader x Doc Ock fic. I promise you it’s coming 🥺

(also I was gonna wait till I had proper accompanying art to post this, but it kinda sucked so... ur just getting a crop of the sketch for now. Might try again later XD that and im just rly excited about how the fic turned out ok i wanna post it!!!)

-anyway, fic under the cut:

You slowly awaken to muffled daylight assaulting your senses. Otto is already up and awake, letting you get an extra hour or two’s rest. You realize, however, that upon trying to move; your arms feel like lead, followed by your head and legs. Moving them feels like wading through molasses and as you come to your senses you feel your head begin to pound as well.

You’ve never felt like this before, are you sick? You’ve never really had a true cold or flue before. The nanobots in your blood lend to a pretty overpowered immune system. At worst you’ve had a few sniffly days during the winter. But as you groan lightly, trying to make head or tail of your body, you can tell that something is seriously wrong.

You sense Otto’s eventual return and the expected gentle shoulder touch. The whirring of his actuator’s seeming louder than usual in your weaker, more sensitive state. You let out a meek groan in return to him gently shaking you. It’s much wearier than your usual wake up refusals and this elicits a quick response from one of the actuators. Larry, you think, just from the sound, quickly rushes to your side and gives you a once over. “Are you alright, dear?” Otto asks, now circling the bed. You can merely curl yourself tighter into a ball, tucking yourself under more sheets in pain. An actuator claw gently lifts some of said sheets off of your head tho, so Otto can see your face a little more clearly. He quietly kneels down next to you. “Are you sick?” he asks, brows furrowing with worry. You merely shrug in response, you’re not entirely sure yourself.  You almost forget to respond, having gotten a little lost staring into his big brown eyes, looking up at you with gentle concern. Concern for you, makes your chest feel warm inside, or is that just the fever? “I don’t know...” You start “I’ve never been sick before... ” Thankfully, while meek, your voice sounds mostly normal, and it’s just your internal systems failing on you. “Computer virus?” He suggests, you reply with another tired shrug. Otto tilts his head dotingly before standing up, gently removing the sheets from your curled form. “Come here.” The cold of the morning air is quickly replaced by the warmth of Otto’s arms as he swiftly picks you up, bridal style. You may be a little heavier than someone of your usual height and weight class, due to all the metallic add-ons floating about your body, But Octavius continues to pick you up with ease. It’s relieving knowing that the apparent weight of your limbs is, in fact, merely in your head. You’ve gotten used to being picked up and carried around by the doctor, often preferring this method of traveling from place to place over walking... or flying. But its more often in the form of piggybacks or being coiled up in an actuator arm, even now being carried close to his chest still gives you butterflies. You don’t dislike it tho, in fact you snuggle against him more as you tuck your heavy arms against your body for warmth. Your limbs feel like you can feel every metal cable muscle strand in there for once, you really hope you’re just temporarily sick, this is really not the ideal operational status for a rogue overpowered military cyborg. You’re barely able to keep your eyes open but you sense the two of you approaching the small computer station you set up in a corner of the apartment. Otto kicks out the chair a little before sitting down and setting you in his lap. One arm still wrapped around you keeping you in place, the other reaches for the keyboard and enters the login. As the computer logs in and the multiple monitors slowly flick to life you feel the back of Otto’s hand rest against your forehead. This is met with a small ‘Hm.’ before both hands now work around you, searching the desks for some cables. You blearily exist in and out of consciousness as Otto continues to work. You gently rest you head on his shoulder and chuckle as you receive a quick forehead kiss from the man currently wrapped around you. You sleepily nuzzle into him more as you feel a hand fall onto the back of your neck. You’ve run through a few diagnostic sessions with Otto before, so with practiced precision he removes the protective plate covering the access panel on your neck, followed by the plugging in of two cables to several ports near your cervical vertebrae. You feel the usual rush of energy flow into and then out of you as data is uploaded to the machine. You must have moved a little in reaction as you feel Otto run a hand up and down your back comfortingly. You return to snuggling up against his chest as you watch streams of data appear in the corner of your vision. You’re too tired to look at any of the screens right now and just let the Doc do what he need’s to do, he’s familiar enough with your code now to decipher it. You’re jostled around lightly as Otto goes about entering commands and running diagnostics, but for the most part you remain sleepy and cozy in the arms of the scientist. “Anything interesting?” You ask after a short while, your strength seeming to come back to you slightly. The diagnostic process must be correcting some of the minor errors, but you still struggle to lift your limbs. “Mmm, it’s hard to say for sure...” He starts, his voice still a little groggy from waking up as well, it rumbles through your chest gently. “Looks like they may be some new bad sectors-” “There are plenty of redundancies,” You interrupt, with a yawn “try running a defrag protocol." Otto nods “Bad files clogging up over time causing compounding errors...” He adds on to your statement. “Yeah, something like that,” You nod back in return. “hopefully...” You add, quietly. “We’ll find out, love.” To this you get another quick kiss from him before he quickly writes in a defragging program into the terminal. ... “Have you done this before?” He asks, suddenly hesitating before hitting enter and executing the code. “Nope.” You shrug, “It’ll be fine don’t worry,” You chuckle, "I’ve done worse.” You hear a sigh escape the man before the sound of the enter key being hit. Suddenly begins the familiar tingling sensation of new code being uplinked to the computer half of your brain, then it’s quickly replaced with a new sensation. Your thoughts and memories, all for a moment get juggled around inside your brain, dancing around in your minds eye. You close your eyes so you don’t feel your eyes dart across the room as if you were in REM sleep. But as quickly as it came it starts to dissipate and your mind begins to feel clear, very clear actually. It almost feels like someone’s taken a pressure washer to the inside of you brain. You sit up a little, Otto watching over you silently and carefully. Slowly but surely you feel the strength return to your limbs and you roll out your back and shoulder muscles. You’re definitely feeling much better but it also feels like you just ran several marathons, you’re still gonna have to take the day or two to recover. “Feeling alright?” Otto asks, having watched you stare at your finally functioning limbs for several long moments. You lean your head back in his arms, now actually able to look at him in the eyes and smile. “Yeah, much better.” You say, stretching out your limbs. You hear a gentle sigh of relief from Otto who smiles back at you. “So no computer virus?” “No, no computer virus.” You laugh. “Thankfully I don’t go around plugging myself into random internet-connected computers, so it shouldn’t be too much of a threat.” You continue, gesturing to the cables coming out of the back of your neck. “But it’s good to know, even military grade cyborgs need to practice basic computer hygiene” You laugh. “Military grade prototype cyborgs.” Otto jests, gently poking the back of your left shoulder, where your tattoo reading the numbers #01 sits, currently hidden under the oversized t-shirt you slept in. You roll your eyes and click your tongue in response. You continue to wriggle and stretch in the doctors arms as you work the knots and weight out of your cybernetically enhanced limbs. Otto takes this time to terminate the data connection and gently pulls the cables out of your neck. He is much more gentle than you used to be with those, you laugh to yourself. After you’re all put back together, Otto leans back. “Time for something to eat, you think?” He asks, lifting an eyebrow. “Oh, that sounds like a very good idea!” You reply back, enthusiastically. But nary a movement is made by you. Instead you snuggle up against his chest again, looking up at him expectantly. He shakes his head and lets out a breathy chuckle before lifting you up and carrying you bridal style again. Of course, not without pretending to drop you on the way out. “Whoops!” “Hey!”

#doc ock #otto octavius #doc ock x reader #doc ock x oc #spiderman 2 #self insert #i just wrote the whole first draft for that in one go... #i dont think ive ever written that much in one setting #it is also now VERY late and i have work tomorrow oops #ok future nix here: #i also just realised this will be my first ever published fic o-o #pls dont eat me #be nice but also pls give feedback #writing is hard lol #ok bye hope u like hope this doesnt flop #hit post

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

003

Genre : fluff, the ending's a bit angsty tho.

Summary : In which you're sick. And Miguel's soft.

Request/idea by: lassiraa (didn;t know if she wanted to be tagged oops)

Wordcount: 1.3k lol

Miguel O’hara Masterlist

Miguel glances at his phone yet again, admittedly a little worried. The cute cafe you work at had been busy today, filled to the brim with customers. When you had texted him earlier that you would be late for your movie night, he understood. In return, he had replied that he could eventually pick you up, asking at what time you would be done. You haven't responded though, probably too occupied with cleaning the place.

It's thankfully not too late just yet, but it's started raining dogs and cats since about an hour back. He just hopes you'll catch the bus to HQ.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait all too long, a sudden knock at his door sounding through his room.

His room is admittedly bigger than the other spiders' rooms who stay. His looking more like an apartment, the only thing missing is a livingroom and a diningroom. It's basically a small studio apartment.

It doesn't take him long to open the door. The first thing he notices when he does so is that you're completely drenched. 

He sighs as he lets you in.

" Why didn't you take the bus? " He asks, going straight to the point.

" Because I would have to wait more than thirty minutes. Walking was faster. Hello to you too by the way." You roll your eyes.

He doesn't miss the shivering of your body.

" Yeah, hey. You should've called me. " He scolds you, yet again.

" Yeah, yeah. I won't die from a little rain Miguel, relax." You tell him, before sniffing once you've taken your shoes off.

The two of you suddenly find yourself in a bit of an awkward stare. The one where his thoughts are running through his head and you're really trying to figure it out without communicating.

' Yeah. she's going to be sick tomorrow.'

'Bet he's thinking about throwing some pizzas in'

" Are you thinking of pizzas?"  You ask him, making him blink.

" Yes, totally. Go shower while I throw them in the oven." He tells you, turning his back to you.

You blink, confused. You don't have a change of your clothes lying around at his place. However, before any words can leave your now opened mouth, a bunch of clothes are thrown at you, along with a towel.

" Just wear my stuff, I don't care. Just don't want your ass sick in the morning." He says, hurriedly walking into the kitchen.

That was a lie, he actually very much does care. Especially about you wearing his stuff.

Miguel is a domestic man, especially after all he's been through. The idea of the two of you hanging out, cuddling up like you sometimes do, whilst wearing his clothes creates a pleasant image in his head.

It doesn't take long before you're out of the shower, and soon enough the two of you are eating pizza whilst arguing over what movie to watch. Eventually (after a whole while, the pizzas are actually already through), the two of you set on watching an action film.

And as the two of you move to sit on his bed like usual, he notices you glancing at him a little more than usual.

" What is it?" He asks as he glances back at you.

" Can we cuddle?" You ask him, biting your lip.

He gives you a smile as he nods.

" Sure."

He hopes you don't notice the slight blush on his cheeks.

-

When he wakes the next morning, he notices a few things. One, you're pressed up to his side, cuddling into his large frame, your face buried in his chest. Two, how well rested he feels. It's been a good while since he felt like this. And three, you're way too hot to not be sick.

With a soft sigh, he contemplates on his decision. He wants to stay home to take care of you, but he's also supposed to look for anomalies a few floors down.

It's embarrassing how quick he actually manages to make a decision. 

Would it even be worth fighting for the multiverse if you aren't in his?

And so he finds himself putting together an amount of hologram screens and such to be able to work from his apartment.

It takes a while before you wake up, but when you do, you merely turn on your ass and fall back asleep in a ridiculous position again. However, not too long after that, you wake again, looking around a little confused whilst you sit up. You wrap the blanket closer around you, wrapping yourself completely up in it with the exception of your face.

" Hm?" 

" I feel like a boiled sausage." You grunt in annoyance, before flopping down on his bed again.

He can't help but smile.

" I'm afraid you're sick, Perla." He tells you.

You curl up.

" What? No I'm not. Feel great'." You grumble sarcastically.

He shakes his head.

" What would you like for breakfast?" He asks in return.

You let out a dramatic sigh.

" Nothing, my stumic feels queasy- Wait, since when are you able to work from up here?" You ask, noticing he now actually has a chair in his room. And a desk. And a lot of screens.

" Since today. And still, you should eat." He says as he gets up.

Whilst he walks off to do whatever, you take a moment to study his new set up. You've never really paid any attention to his work before, not really liking 'office work' as you tend to call it. A moment later he returns, a plate with food in hand. He hands it to you wordlessly. You get up from his bed to eat (you're not a psycho).

" Soo, am I helping with work today?" You ask him, leaning onto his chair from behind him. You try to ignore the obvious shivers of your skin. You definitely have a fever.

He glances at you.

" No. You're going to lie down and rest. I'm going to work." He tells you before he gets up.

To your utter suprise, he turns to you, his huge posture suddenly looming over yours. With gentle hands, he leads you backwards to his bed, your knees bending when the back of your legs touch the bed. He bends down to maneuver the rest of your body onto the bed, getting you to lay sideways. He tucks you in aswell, before the two of you end up staring awkwardly at one another yet again.

" G'night." He greets you, before turning to his hologram screens again.

You watch him work for a moment, studying the screens as well. There's nothing interesting currently happening. It doesn't take long before you doze off.

Miguel watches you once you've fallen asleep fondly. He's really falling further and further into the feelings he's hiding for you. In moments like this, he believes he could do it. Maybe he could be happily in a relationship with you while also helping the multiverse. He shakes his head, running his hands over his face before sighing deeply. What the hell is he starting to think about? He's spiderman. He can't have you, no matter how bad he wants you.

With another deep sigh, he makes a hard decision.

He has to create space between the two of you.

[ A/N: Next update'll take a while, I'm on a vacay with my mum for next week so see ya'll after that.]

004

000 - Taglist

@adamsloverboy​

@ihateuguys​

@alchemist421​

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara fluff #spiderman across the spider verse #spider man 2099

[meshlasolus]

House Of Memories (49/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: fluff, just fluff

Summary: The festivities have begun, and the anticipation is getting to Obi-Wan.

A/n: ATTENTION PLEASE, since I updated so late, there will not be another update tonight, or tomorrow since I have to work super late... BUT there will most definitely be a very long episode dropped on Saturday and oop- 50 is going to be a massive win for obi and his little one

also y'all if you like the story, maybe consider buying me a coffee :)

Words: 2.5k

"Are the curls too flat?"

The stylists had been poking and prodding about your face and hair for the last several hours, and you weren't sure if you'd ever make it to the event for how long it was taking. Padme's stylists, experienced with her look, had finished long before you, and it seemed like now she was just feeding them more ideas.

"No, they look angelic, let the small pieces frame her face and twist the rest back on the sides," she instructed, and they did just that.

You couldn't see a thing that was happening, so for all you knew, this could be a big joke, and you'd show up looking the same as you always did... of course Padme would never do that do you, but the thought still crossed your mind.

It was rather strange that they never once let you look in the mirror. They claimed that 'we're the ones who need to see, not you.' Which was simply infuriating, but you digress, it was a little fun being able to pretend just for the day that you weren't a Jedi.

"That's lovely Juri, she's absolutely stunning," Padme came back in the room, bringing the dresses for you both to fit into.

The stylists gawked and awed at the beauty of them both and it was only now that you caught a glimpse of padme's dress. It was a lovely dark navy, with strings of iridescent stones laid over it, the way they shimmed in the light made them look like stars against a night sky. Whoever made Padme's dresses, they sure knew what they were doing, the girl was never dressed less than a princess, and you loved that about her. She was easily seen in a crowd, she always stood out. She was one of the loveliest beings in the galaxy, and you always felt it an honor to be in her presence.

"Alright, it's time."

-

Obi-Wan was unsure about the formal set of clothes. They didn't look bad, perse, but the person staring back at him in the mirror wasn't the General Kenobi everyone was used to. He looked far more refined, and regal. He looked like he probably descended from royalty, and he had that of great riches beyond compare.

The trousers and boots were about normal, but from the waist up, it was like a whole different person. The dark undershirt, borderline black, but there was a hint of the darkest green embedded in it. Over that was the formal shirt, much tighter and restricting than his robes were, but he supposed it was a nice contrast to the light shades of them, as the deep brown looked so earthy and warm. The last thing to adorn his body was the vest, made of some sort of leather, and the glossy black only faintly reflected the light as he pulled it to rest over his shoulders. He did look nicer than usual, he could admit it, but it still didn't feel like him.

He supposed he would brush everything aside and wear this outfit, for the sake of Padme, and for the sake of you, whom would also be forced to wear garb outside of your normal pickings.

He left the room and headed to the main hallway, following after many of the 212th members who were on their way outside. The large hovercraft that awaited them were decorated with some of Naboo's prettiest flowers, including the ones you loved so much and had told him about. The sparkling blue ones that glowed in the light. You'd said that they reminded you of him, and had been nearly the exact shade of his lightsaber. Looking at them now, he knew that you were right, it was uncanny.

He'd pick one to present to you, however he felt he should not shorten it's life by doing so, as you'd want to see it grow to its full potential.

He approached one of the palace staff, seeing as though he wasn't busy with anything, and was simply overseeing that the clones were loaded on the hover-ships that would carry them over the water. The man was quite surprised to see the Jedi in such an outfit that made him near unrecognizable. He had always liked the senator's taste, though.

"General Kenobi, how may I assist you?" The man bowed in reverence, and Obi-Wan ducked his head shyly in response.

"I'm looking for my Padawan, I was sure I could find her here, but it appears she hasn't shown up yet," he explained, his hands fidgeting and likely giving away how anxious he was to see you. It's not like was was trying to hide it, anyway.

"Oh yes, I remember I was to tell you she will be arriving at the venue separately, as she will be accompanying the senator."

Obi-Wan, though massively patient in quite literally any other circumstance, had to restrain himself from arguing with this man over the situation, and walked away before he could even think of demanding to see you.

"Thank you, if it is alright, I'll board with my men," and then he was on his way.

The trip over the water was beautiful, very scenic and calming, actually. He'd never truly experienced a tour of this planet, although he'd been here several times on account of the senator, and back then queen. He'd seen Theed, and he'd been in the forested regions, even exploring the underwater world of the Gungans, but this? This smooth ride over the lake country where he could see the lovely outline of the cliffs and the mountains against the sky, with every little detail now pointed out to him through the attention they drew, this was paradise. A real vacation if he could swear it was one. Now the only thing missing was you.

"Excuse me sir, I don't believe we've ever met," one of the clones came up behind the general, teasing him to see if he'd respond to the joke. Some of the others laughed at him, and Obi-Wan sighed as he turned around. "General Kenobi, is that you? You look uh... a little different."

"Trapper, if you're going to mock me, please do so outside of my vicinity."

But of course, having heard his annoyance, they only wanted to poke more fun at him, so for the rest of the journey, he was no longer able to simply enjoy the landscapes around him, but endured being made fun of by the men he lead on almost everyday.

Reaching the port, he was able to see another hovercraft in the distance, and hoped you would be here soon, but having seen the festivities that awaited, he was able to relax and disembark with his clones until then.

The décor was amazing, as it always was, and he knew that this time Padme had outdone herself. There was not a moment where that woman was not the most decadent person he'd ever met. He could hear music as he approached the venue, and it was lovely, the sounds were peaceful and serene, the stringed instruments in harmony with each other really set the mood of this celebration, and although his men were all rough and normally very boorish, they seemed to be exuding their most refined courteousness. If this party could turn his soldiers into gentlemen, it could do anything.

He was ushered in by the other hosts of the night, being greeted by the large doors of the hall and shown inside where the refreshments were. He walked slowly down the large set of stairs that lead to a wide dance floor, open to anyone who may take part in such an activity. He was obviously not known for dancing, although he was sure it wouldn't take much convincing if only a certain someone would ask.

"You look tense, General. You nervous?" Cody, ever the reliant commander, seemed rather troubled about his superior, as he hadn't seen him clench his fists that tight since the last mission.

"I'll be fine, I think I just need a drink," he all but joked, following Cody over to the bar, which had been ever so generously provided for them.

As more people began to pour into the room, the party seemed to grow more alive. The people of Naboo were a very hospitable people, and welcomed them all with open arms. There was not a clone unoccupied in the large celebration hall, as the guests kept them busy, telling stories of their successes in the war. The people found it fascinating, and of course the soldiers themselves were all to happy to comply with their requests for stories and recalled memories of victory. Obi-Wan was happy to see them so happy, enjoying the celebration he truly believed was meant for them. He was not a leader without them, and they were the reason for all his achievements.

"The senator is here," the in-tuned Jedi heard someone behind him, and turned around, seeing a small clustered group at the top of the stairs.

He set his unfinished drink on the countertop, waiting for the group to finish greeting the hosts at the top so they might come down. He knew you were with her, which is why he was paying such close attention.

It was all so quick, the way Padme lead her assistants and yourself down the stairs, and he first saw you... his jaw nearly went slack on the floor.

Your dress, though modest to some extent, showed off your most pleasing attributes. It was green, and blue, representing the earth and waters of this planet, with the ever so small bouts of pink to accentuate the plant life. The broadness of your shoulders were looking divine with the shimmer of the satin vines that cascaded around them, holding the rest of the dress together. Your skin was glowing, and he couldn't help but notice the stretch of your legs, coming through the slits of tulle that surrounded them. Crystal looking shoes you wore that were adorned with vines and flowers that crawled all the way up your knee and stopped right under your thighs, which were also halfway visible. You had your head ducked parallel to the stairs while you walked down them, and if he knew you, and he did, it was because you were utterly terrified you were going to trip and fall down them. He was not yet able to see your face, but your hair was lovely. Normally wild and untamed atop your head, it had been smoothed into gentle curls which laid effortlessly on your shoulders. The sides were pulled back and up, into twists on the back of your head, held in place with light pink flowers like the ones on the dress.

He started walking towards you when you were nearing the bottom, and his heart was racing before his steps even moved him forward. There were couples that had stopped on the dance floor to watch the senator come in, but nothing could stop him from getting to you, now on the ground where he stood. He finally stopped before you, and you lifted your head, not at all surprised to be meeting his eyeline. You could feel his anticipation from a mile away.

He almost couldn't breath, yes, you took his breath away. He dared not look away for even a second, even as Padme greeted him with a 'good evening, General Kenobi.'

"It's lovely to see you, malady," he spoke, sparing her a single glance, but his eyes were drawn back to you like magnets, and it was completely free from his own will of controlling himself.

You smiled cheekily, observing him in his entirety. He cleaned up very nice. Of course, you preferred the ragged Jedi you knew, but this was a nice change from the normal.

"Obi, you look very handsome," you told him, stepping closer to admire how completely royal he looked. Like a prince of a far away planet. His cheeks turned red, but he was quick to return the compliment, although a bit flustered from yours.

"And you look beautiful," he felt that word didn't compare to how you looked, and he didn't want to settle for it, but he did, knowing he would look foolish if he kept quiet long enough to think of something else. This galaxy had not seen such a marvelous wonder as you, therefore the word for your beauty did not exist, and he decided on that.

He his hand to you, and you took it, watching closely as he raised the hand to his lips and kissed the top of it delicately.

"You must excuse me, I should greet the other guests," she said, backing away slowly, but she knew that her presence would not be minded to leave, as you both seemed rather... entranced at the moment. She was very happy, however, to see that her hard work had paid off.

The music started back up again, and it was only this moment that Obi-Wan had noticed it stopped, for when you entered the room, in his mind it seemed to continue, even more astounding than it had been before.

He pulled you along with him to the side of the stairway, avoiding causing traffic in the area.

"You really are beautiful, little one," he said, still admiring every little detail about you. It was clear that work was put into this, and he wanted you to know that he was appreciative, even if you didn't mind so much.

"I'll admit, I feel more seen in this dress than I ever have in my life," you chuckled, taking and deep breath and releasing it. You weren't used to having more than one set of eyes on you at a time, at least not for good reasons.

"Oh, but little one, I always see you."

His hand that still possessed yours lead you back backwards, towards the edge of the dance floor, and you were worried that perhaps this attire was not the best thing to be wearing at the moment.

"Obi, you know I can't dance," you shook your head, but didn't show any other signs of protest other than that. If you truly did not want to dance, he would not make you, but he did feel the need to correct your statement.

"You've danced with me before," and it was true, but those were different circumstances, if you remember correctly.

"We were alone, and no one could see us, then."

He pulled you flush against him, a hand on your waist and the other in your hand, his head tilted slightly to look at you in close proximity. He sent into your mind the feelings that coursed through him, and in your bond of the force you felt every single thing he did. It was overwhelming really, like a beautiful chaotic storm of emotion.

"It's just us, my love," he whispered in your ear, and right away you knew it would take no more convincing, and you'd dance with him the whole night through. "It's just us..."

-

@spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax @mephistominion @honestlywtfisgoingon @anakinskywalkerog @mandiiellen @je--a-n @guyinachair27 @avenger5-a55emble @amelia-song-pond @kaminanii @the-abyss-of-fandoms @queenofnightdreamland @world-dominating-kitty @mandowhatnow @ella-error505 @annahalo @infinity-witch @beetlejuice-stuff @liueski @solarbxby @sirianisrock @lxdyred @endless-warrior-always-fighter @iloveinej @msjb2002 @shoochi @itsilvermorny @gingerrosecosplay @sebschicken @loversjoy @argentinemango @1-800-vader @house-of-kolchek @marierg @graciexmarvel @ttzamara @truly-madly-nerdy @molieux @majahu @dyzlks @pancakefancake

#obi wan x padawan #obi wan kenobi #obi wan series #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #ewan mcgregor

[andhumanslovedstories]

Feel free not to answer this but I was wondering if I could ask you about your job. I’m thinking about becoming a nurse but I’m not sure it’s a good fit. Do you have any advice or recommend it? Thank you 💜

Oops! I wrote a wildly long answer! Hope it helps!

Let me know if you have more specific questions, but here are some general thoughts. 

incoming like 1700 words okay

There are so many different ways to use a nursing degreel. Right now I’m a med surg bedside nurse in the hospital float pool, which means I don’t have an assigned floor and I go wherever is currently short staffed. Before that, I was a home health nurse where I could spend up to eight hours a night reading a book while a kid slept peacefully in the bed. I also worked in a different part of home health briefly (hated it, you have to be on the ball with scheduling but some nurses preferred it) where instead of doing full shift bedside care for one patient, I went to a bunch of different patients’ houses in one day, doing tasks like setting up their medication for the next month or doing wound care. All three of those jobs use the same basic skill set but are very different in practice. 

Even within the hospital, a behavioral health nurse has a different night than an inpatient rehab nurse who has a different night than a short stay surgery nurse who has a different night from an ED nurse who has a different night than an ICU nurse who has a different night than a labor and delivery nurse who has a different night than a postpartum nurse. And that’s just night shift, which is what I work and doesn’t have nearly as many specialties working as are there during the day.

This answer--nursing is so broad, you can do anything!!--is true but not necessarily useful, so I’ll get more specific. 

There are a few things that are important to me about nursing. 

It is a job that contributes value to the world. Even if the American healthcare system was perfect, you would need caregivers like nurses. Even if the American healthcare system ceased to exist tomorrow, you would still need caregivers like nurses. Even on my shittiest nights, I can point to something I did that helped someone in some way. Not all jobs can say that. 

I do good work and then I go home. This is more bedside nursing specific, but it’s important to me. I can’t take the work home with me. Emotionally, sure, I can do that, but physically, my patients stay at the hospital when I clock out. I have handed over the responsibility of them to another nurse, then I get to leave, and my free time is my own. I can always opt into more work of the administrative type, but I don’t have to.

It’s a good stable income. This will depend on where you live and your speciality, but in general, yeah. Easy to get hired, especially right now, hiring bonuses, overtime if you’re the type of person to pursue that (this is advice for later in your career if you start it, but I’d strongly strongly strongly advise limiting how many extra shifts you pick up while you’re still learning). Solid reliable income. 

Those all come with some caveats. It’s a stable income, but it often plateaus at a mid level salary range unless you move up into a more administrative role (overgeneralizing this, but true often enough). You can be under a lot of pressure to pick up and stay late (16 hour shifts!) because staffing runs lean. You’ll rarely have all the help you need, especially on night shifts. I get called every single day I’m not working asking if I want to come in. Burnout is so so high right now, and often it seems like admin is like “well new nurses graduate every day so”. Some floors I’ve been on, the senior most nurse has 18 months experience. That’s bad, that’s stressful beyond belief when things are life and death. 

It’s physically demanding work. A lot of bedside nurses leave bedside because they’ve hurt their backs moving patients. I know I’ve seriously tweaked some muscles, and the amount I’m on my feet is not great for my poor weak right ankle. There’s also other physical demands, i.e. helps to have a strong stomach. People will tell you CNAs (certified nursing assistants) or techs do all the incontinence care. They’re correct but also wrong because 1) who the fuck is staffed with CNAs, especially at night, and 2) okay you’ve got a CNA but they’re busy helping change another patient so are you just gonna let this person sit in their shit for 30 minutes? I do incontinence care about every night. There’s the other bodily fluids as well--blood, mucus, pus, Just Ambiguous Goop Hey Where’s That Coming From. Not to mention wound care, which can be gnarly. Like lift up a skin fold, find some maggots in necrotic flesh gnarly. And since so many wounds are on the tailbone and groin, incontinence care and wound care are often the same thing. 

There’s also the emotional stuff. Maybe your patient is dying and just got told today. Maybe they’re dying and they’re comfort care and the whole family is in the room crying every time you go in. Maybe they’re going into withdrawal. Maybe they only speak taishanese and there’s no translators available. Maybe this is their first night in the hospital ever. Maybe this is their 180th night. Maybe they’re terrified of pain and they don’t trust you to help control it. Maybe they’re so mad that they’re in the hospital. Maybe they’re refusing to be discharged because they have nowhere safe to go. Maybe they’re confused and keep trying to stand up on two broken hips. Maybe they had a traumatic brain injury and won’t stop screaming for your entire 12 hour shift. Maybe they really want to tell you about society’s freeloaders. Maybe you walk into their room to answer a call light and they’re sobbing and also you’ve never met this person before. Maybe their husband died five minutes before you got on shift. Maybe they’ve sexually harrassed multiple caregivers and you aren’t allowed to be alone with them. Maybe they’re mean, and sure there might be nuance to that meanness, but goddamn are they an asshole and goddamn they are still your patient. 

Maybe all that sounds bad to you, the physical and the emotional work. I don’t like wound care, so I’m not a wound and ostomy nurse (but I still do wound care). I like talking to my patients, so I’m not an ICU nurse (where the joke is that your patients can’t talk back. heard an ICU nurse darkly refer to their job as “watering crops”. Not work I’m interested in, but thank god some people are) (but I still take on very high acuity patients). I don’t like chaos and triage so I’m not an emergency room nurse (and yet? still chaos!). I like giving patients medications and warm blankets and whatever food they’re allowed to have, I like talking to them how their day went and what’s gonna happen tomorrow, I like checking in on them and finding them soundly asleep, so I’m a med surg night nurse who hates when I hate to wake people up for neuro checks. 

(Med surg, by the way since I didn’t know either before I started nursing school, is medical-surgical nursing. According to the Academy of Medical-Surgical Nurses, med surg nurses “provide care to adults with a variety of medical issues or who are preparing for/recovering from surgery.” Isn’t that the most expansive category you’ve ever heard of? It’s the catch all of the hospital and, as I like to think as a med-surg nurse who actually likes med-surg nursing, the very heart of bedside nursing and should be respected far more than it is sometimes. But that’s a different rant.) (More respect for generalists!!)

Here’s a final thought: If you don’t like sick people, don’t go into nursing. Not everyone is kind and compassionate in the same way, but kindness and compassion should be the foundation of your work. Kindness, compassion, critical thinking, diligence. The role of a nurse is to be a patient advocate. Sometimes that can be advocating for the patient against what you think is the right thing for them to do. How can you protect the patient’s safety and autonomy? How can you help them be an active participant in their care? What do they want? How can you get that for them? This isn’t the same as “dilaudid and ice cream every 3 hours” (sometimes it can be!), but it can be encouraging them to go through with wound care even though it is so painful because otherwise it won’t heal, and it’s thinking about timing their pain meds to take effect in conjunction with the wound care, and it’s practicing the wound care steps with another nurse before you do it on a person so you don’t fuck it up (I. hate wound care yall). It’s being aware that the stakes are life and death, but also dignity and embarrassment, comfort and pain, hope and despair, autonomy and force. It’s an honor to care for people, but you have to be aware of the power you have in those circumstances and the ability you have to be neglectful or cruel. It’s hard to be overworked and underpaid and yelled at and bored and tired and at just another day at the sickness factory and still be thoughtful and kind. Every day at work, I have to push myself to be a version of myself that I like and I respect. Sometimes I don’t manage that, and it’s feels so much worse than when I had a lazy shift as a barista. But I like having a job that pushes me to try, and to have a job that matters if I do it well. Nursing forces me to be a version of myself that others can rely on, and I love that about the job. This is not a career for everyone, but I’ve found it tremendously rewarding, even as I’ve also found it incredibly frustrating. 

If this intrigues you, maybe nursing! If it doesn’t, that’s fine. There’s lots of ways to help the world without burning yourself out.

#nursing tag #i'm gonna make a proper nursing tag at some point

[salemssimblr]

get to know me tag

I was tagged by @morrigan-sims. Thank you so much for the tag! ♥️

I'll put mine under the cut too cause I'm particularly chatty today

show your wallpaper and the last song you listened to.

For me this requires a photo! As I have my external display and my mac display and they're different. So, have a workspace reveal!

Last song is Your Love by One True God & Roniit

currently reading?

Nevernight by Jay Kristoff... but barely. I've been moving it from room to room with the intention of curling up with it but then I render or write instead. Oops.

last movie?

Don't laugh (ok you can laugh) but it was the second Austin Powers movie. My husband's never seen them all the way through and they're on Netflix only until June 30th. Don't judge us too hard lmfao

last show?

The Queen's Gambit. I watched it when it was released, but hubby didn't.

craving?

The New Orleanian in me is craving this one cocktail served at my favorite restaurant. The restaurant closed down for covid and reopened literally only a few weeks ago but it looks like that cocktail isn't on their menu anymore. Afaik I think it was vodka and raspberry jam??? Phenomenal. It was called the Little Red Dog. We're going to that restaurant tomorrow and I'm praying if I ask for it they can make it but I don't have my hopes up.

what are you wearing right now?

Sweatpant material shorts I stole from my dad one weekend years ago and a shirt from The Strand bookstore in NYC. (Work pajama outfit lmfao)

how tall are you?

My ID says 5'2" but I think that's bullshit. An even 5'. Would've been shorter but I had my scoliosis corrected at 12 (I'm a terminator, baybeee) & I gained 2 inches from the surgery.

piercings?

2 holes in each lobe, 1 nose ring, and a closed up lip piercing I wish I still had but not enough to get it re-opened. I hope to get several more.

tattoos?

Two so far, a semicolon on the back of my neck (gotten before the semicolon tattoo movement) & a paper crane on my right wrist in memory of my late best friend. I want to get several more and have been actively ignoring the itch because my big wedding ceremony is in October... but after 👀 I think I was a big crow on my back/across one shoulder. And a few other small ones I've been thinking about. I've also always wanted bats behind my ear so maybe that too.

glasses or contacts?

Glasses! I'd love to wear contact but, fun trivia for your Friday, did you know that taking birth control longterm literally changes the shape of your corneas? I didn't either. But I'm pretty sure that happened to me and now I can't wear contacts without extreme discomfort. So, glasses for me.

last thing you ate?

Sliced mango and pomegranate seeds (:

favorite color?

Red, black, dark blues.

current obsession?

My current and forever obsession is Vignettes, the story my bestie and I are writing together. It's wild how this one storyline has become my entire personality, and I'm not at all mad about it.

any pets?

One sweet sweet little fur-son named Loki!

he squint

favorite fictional character?

This is such a hard question for me to answer cause I have wildly fluctuating obsessions and right now I'm most obsessed with my own fictional characters, but. Kaz Brekker will always have a place in my heart. I loved him from his very first appearance in Six of Crows. Same for Nikolai Lantsov in Shadow & Bone. I loved Alina for the longest time too but I think her depiction in the show soured me on her a bit, idk. I have a lot of strong feelings about the Netflix adaptation I could write a whole dissertation on. I've also held the Abhorsen series (& Sabriel) close to my heart since I read it literally in middle school. I re-bought Sabriel a while ago and need to read it again.

last place you traveled?

I don't remember for sure if our most recent trip was to Houston when we got engaged or to North Carolina for my husband's best friend's wedding. Either way, it's been too long since we traveled and I need to go somewhere stat! haha

I'm tagging @buttertrait, @angelgnomeisdeadrip, @druidberries, @simlishpiadina, @kotpicard, @leafbatraccoon, @raiiny-bay, @chaoticsimlish, @omgkayplays & anyone else who wants to do this! Feel free to say I tagged you!

#get to know me tag #replies #nonsims

[melodiousmonsters]

I'm updating how I do my monstiary pages! And more stuff about the monstiary.

Hi everyone, I have ended my break of doing monstiary pages as I have gotten my motivation back and hopefully won't loose it again : ]. With my break I came up with some ideas to make the pages better than they were before so I shall explain how they will work from now on.

(There's art under the cut I promise)

Firstly I made a standard layout for the monstiary pages that all of them will follow from now on, Sooza was used as an example because it's one of my favorite monsters.

Btw I will be making my own drawings of the elemental sigils because I feel like giving myself too much work. Of course the pages will be colored I just did sketches for the examples because, for the third time, lazy. The first thing spoken about in the monstiary posts will be a general description of the monster, followed by random biology facts, then some ecology if I have some.

Secondly I made a character to be writing all these pages in universe! Mons. Booksby (Mons. is used as a suffix [or something idk what that type of thing is called but you know it's like Mr. or Mrs.] to proclaim an individual as important) a chipper fluffy Bowgart who had an interest in monster/critter biology and art. I don't have a first name for it so I will only refer to it as its last name. They were alive during the very early ages of the modern monster world and also technically the very late ages of the time period directly after the dawn of fire because they were turned into a statue by the events of the cataclysm. Long story, unfortunately it doesn't remember anything from before they were a statue other than that it was taking art classes.

I did a little comparison in that doodle page of a standard Bowgart and Booksby to 1: show the unique traits of Booksby and 2: to show how much individuals tend to variate from the standard individuals shown in my monstiary pages. Also that's it at the beginning of its monstiary project, it was very VERY old at the end of the project as shown in this self portrait with the finished monstiary (don't mind me I just wanted to try out a more painterly style real quick, also forgot the tuning pegs on the horns, oops!) Also btw all of my msm characters use it/its pronouns unless stated otherwise as it's the closest to the translation of the monstrous pronouns used for referring to a sentient being, but because they don't know English nor have an idea of genders or whatever they don't mind being referred to as other pronouns if you feel like it I guess.

Not a lot is actually known about Booksby as an individual as it wrote very little about itself, taking pride in its inpersonal writing style for its academic work. Also as a totally unrelated side not that did not cause me to make that previous decision about the character, I suck at writing character specific dialogue. Though they did add little notes to some drawings they made and that's the closest anyone has to any personal information about it.

Finally I will now be using the tag monstiary for anything relating to the monstiary to make it easier to access. idk how to end this lol bye come back tomorrow to see monster taxonomy and some explanation of that because that's what I'm doing next!

#melodious monster chronicles #monstiary #my singing monsters

[vro0m]

I'm really late to the whole George/Lewis discussion but I just read thru your anons and your answers and I do agree with everything you said but one thing I wanna add is that Lewis also isn't comfortable in the car. Do I think George is a good driver? Yes. But I think when Lewis finally feels 100% in control of that car, like he did in the old regulations, he will be a lot more dominant over him. Because Lewis knows the car is tricky, I don't think he gives it his full 100% ALL the time cuz he's aware that if he pushes too hard, the car could end up in the wall and he'd obviously rather finish the race. It's like with Verstappen now. He knows that car is good, and he's not afraid to push to the absolute limit if not teetering on the edge. I know there have been at least two times where he was like "oop almost lost it" cuz he basically zoned out but bc that car is so good, he obviously is able to regain control so quickly. Lewis doesn't trust it like that. He basically has to focus more on making sure the car behaves rather than fully pushing it (not that the W14 is that fast anyway). If that makes sense?

Hi! Yeah he's not confident in the car. It's showing AND he said so. Honestly I kind of purposefully avoided this topic yesterday because I might be too biased about it.

I am inclined to think it might not be so easy for George to keep up with Lewis once the car works better, because Lewis will be able to try more things racecraft-wise and that's where he's making most of the difference, like you. At the same time, like we were saying yesterday, George is currently making too many mistake and lacking self-control when it comes to racing. If they were to suddenly have a RB level of car performance tomorrow, I think Lewis would come out on top. But also I deeply wish for it to be so, so I don't trust myself to see all the elements feeding into it and confidently assert that it would be the case and justify it with anything else than essentially "I personally believe that Lewis is currently the most complete racer on the grid".

One thing that's undeniable and works in Lewis' favor is the fact that Lewis has so much more experience than George, both when it comes to racing and when it comes to racing at the top. Like we also mentioned yesterday, the young drivers tend to unravel a bit once they get there because of the added pressure and like Anon very aptly said then (I really liked the way they put it) :

"I think experienced drivers like Lewis and Alonso are like sharks drawn to blood when they sense someone is possibly prone to mistakes under pressure"

So I think it will depend in part on when they get a good enough car and whether George has more self-control by then. It also depends on George's actual optimal performance, as in : when driving at the top in a competitive car, which we haven't seen yet and is therefore difficult to estimate at this point.

Finally, there's also the possibility that Lewis won't ever get a car that fits him as perfectly as the ones he had with the old regs. I believe they will eventually get a competitive car again but first of all, once again : when? and second of all : competitive doesn't necessarily mean as good a match as he had then or Max has now. So there's also the question of George and Lewis' adaptability and that's also difficult to discuss because we don't really know what it is they have to grapple with in setting up the car etc. It is said Lewis has tried more extreme set-ups last year. All in all, it seems a lot of the times George has had a better set up than Lewis this year, at least for quali? Like I said yesterday, even with a difficult car, it's still an upgrade for George whereas it's a downgrade for Lewis. This is completely arguable because I don't have enough elements to have an informed opinion on it, but maybe George has less difficulty adapting to the car at the moment than Lewis. If that's the case, that might or might not change as the car gets better, depending on the car's characteristics and their interaction with their personal driving styles as well.

So I find it difficult to make that call with a good enough level of confidence, but I hope and want you to be right! Deep down in my heart, I subjectively believe you are.

#f1 #lewis hamilton #2023 #vro0m's asks

[pbandjesse]

I felt kind of down today. It wasn't a bad day! It was full of beautiful moments. But I felt down inside. I tried very hard to fight against it but it was tough. I'm just a little to hot and a little to tired. But I enjoyed being with my James. And it was a beautiful day, even if it was just a little but to warm.

I had some pretty serious and intense dreams. I woke up and had to wake James up to make sure they were okay. They seemed really concerned about how upset I was. But I was able to go back to sleep and have more intense dreams. So it wasn't the most restful sleep.

When I woke up for real I was so hot. We will have to figure out an ac unit soon for our bedroom. But it's not a huge deal. I will survive, even if I'm just a little uncomfy.

James would come up and see what I wanted to have for breakfast. I decided on a grilled peanut butter and jelly. And got dressed and loved how my hair dried. I washed it last night and let it air dry and while I have heard recently it can be bad to do that I actually think I'm going to go back to it because I was just so please today. I felt really pretty.

We would hang out in the living room. James made an appointment for our polio vaccines and said we could walk to the CVS at 1030. So that is just what we did. I struggled with shoe choices. I have raw spots from my docs so I thought I would wear my tevas but they also hit my sore spots so I tried socks and wanted to die from being to warm so I switched to some old flip flops and I would end up hating them by the time we got to the cvs. It isn't like I need new shoes but I do need to finally replace my flip flops from highschool that finally fell apart last year. I'll have to figure that out soon. Maybe tomorrow after work I'll go search.

We got over to the CVS. James was being really cute. And was really excited about the weather and how beautiful it was. I was a little to hot and was realizing how I should have worn sun screen. But I was having a nice time with James.

We got to the CVS and they were like. You don't have an appointment? Because it turns out we were at the wrong CVS. Oops. So we had to quickly walk home and drive to harbor east. Which would make us a few minutes late. I was pretty stressed. James would stay behind to pay for parking so I could go over the next block to get there. But then I didn't know where to go. It wasn't the pharmacy even though the sign said that was where vaccines were. It was actually the minute clinic. And then I didn't know what my confirmation number was and was a little frazzled.

James would come and we sorted it out. And the woman who worked there, who I Believe is a nurse?, was just so lovely. She told me I was totally fine and to not worry about being late. Which did make me feel better. But I was also a little stressed about the whole thing.

She wasn't sure if insurance was going to cover this but it actually did so that was good. And she was very good and it didn't hurt much. It hurts a little now but only like a small bruise. I asked if me and James would get medicine from the same vial and she said yes and I was like. Oh that's very romantic. And she thought it was very funny that me and James go to so many appointments together. She said her and her husband have never done that in 10 years together. Which I thought was pretty interesting. But maybe when you work in the medical field it's a different feeling.

James's appointment wasn't for an hour but she let James come early so we didn't have to wait. James got a COVID vaccine too but I had one recently so I didn't need it. James was very brave and got one in each arm.

While James was waiting their 15 minutes after their shots I went to get the dish soap we needed. It was locked up so I had to call for staff and the girl that came to do it was super complimentary about my tattoos and kept saying how cool I was. Which made me feel very cool.

We paid and left and James took me home to change my shoes. We got a water bottle and we headed to the park to enjoy the day. I was a little miserable. I changed into better shoes but I was still not feeling the best. And being to hot didn't help but it was beautiful out.

We walked around. We were going to go find the swings but they had that area all roped off for construction. Ah well. We sat on a bench and enjoyed watching people with their babies. And watching the inch worm try to climb on James's arm hair. It was very silly.

I decided I would like falafel for lunch. James found a Yemeni place! I didn't know that they would have falafel but it was good! I liked the size of it. I would have preferred it with a dipping sauce but I really enjoyed the half I had. We saved the other half for lunch tomorrow. The best part of the experience was that they brought us a sauce and a salad and a soup we didn't even order and it was good! I was having a great time.

We walked to the thrift store next. And I was so excited to find this little house. I swear I had a mini version of this same house that I used to play with so much that it fell apart. I was trying very hard to find the joyful moments today, so this find was really good. And if was only $5.

We would go get ice cream next. And that was fun. We decided to cool off in their AC and I am glad we did. James got red velvet and I got the dirty grasshopper again and I tried the cannoli flavor. It was fun and I was feeling a little more positive. Even if I was tired still.

We tried to walk in the shade on the way home as much as possible. We talked and laughed and it was just really nice being together. Even if I was still just a little sad.

When we got home I would hang out on the couch for a bit. James put the screen door in and that was nice. But I was pretty sun tired. So I would go lay down upstairs. I felt bad because we were going to work on wall paper today but I just really didn't have it in me.

James would set up a fan for me and I got changed and I fell asleep pretty quickly. I woke up very hot but I was able to keep sleeping.

I woke up at 630. And I was not having a great time. James brought me water and I laid and sipped. My stomach hurts but I was alright.

James would go record their podcast and I hung out on the couch. And eventually James was done podcast and they came and made us a late dinner.

I decided I wanted spaghetti but I wanted the pasta to be dry, no pasta water left. And James thought that was weird but it was exactly what I wanted. They even baked some mozzarella for the top. I was so happy.

And now we are just hanging out. I am so tired. But it is almost bed time.

Tomorrow I think I have two different field trips at camp. But that's alright. It should be a very good day. Not as hot, but still beautiful. And lots of shade.

I hope you all have a good night tonight. And take care of yourself tomorrow. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[softsky-daily]

12/2/2023

Oops, no sky pic today.

Positive thing: I slept a lot, and had a very normal and chill day.

Since I stayed up until 7am rewatching 逃げ恥 scenes I woke up at like 2pm feeling disoriented as hell. But spending all day inside just quietly working on finals stuff and not stressing too much about things was really nice. The end of the semester finally feels close enough to be reassuring.

Earlier I was reminiscing about my undergrad years a bit. I remembered one night coming home late from hanging out with friends and thinking about how it seemed like life had peaked and now I wasn't sure what to look forward to. It's funny to think about it now, knowing that time of my life was absolutely not the best in any kind of way, but past me didn't have the privilege of hindsight so I can't blame her for thinking that.

I guess I was feeling nostalgic because I grow more and more certain of wanting to move to Japan, and coming up with plans to do so brought up all these other memories of trying to figure out my life. Japan is most definitely not a utopia by any means, but when I remember my last trip and just how at ease I felt blending into the crowd and knowing how safe it was, I think it suits me more than the USA does.

I think it'll be an adjustment when I do move there. The work culture is rough, as are the strict societal rules, and beyond that trying to make new in-person friends will probably be hard too, along with a bunch of other things people don't usually like to bring up about Japan, but even taking all those things into account I still feel pretty strongly about it. I watched a bunch of YouTube videos about foreigners in Japan and what their thoughts were and the concerns they brought up weren't new to me. Also a lot of them didn't actually know any Japanese which was surprising to me. Most had been there for several years and still said they hardly knew the language, which makes me curious about how they've been getting by living there.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm getting coffee with some friends and working on more finals stuff, so hopefully I can get finished up soon. I'd like to be done before I leave Thursday for California.

#skyposting #thoughtposting

[louhearted]

Hii, sending you a lot of motivation for your essay!!✨️

And for the ask game, how about 11, 21, 31 and 41?🤔😊

oh thank you!! that is very sweet of you! i have kind of given up for today because it's already 11pm and i should stop lying to myself that i'll still work on it tonight, but i'm going to need that motivation for tomorrow!!

11. favorite extracurricular activity? - hm. hard to say lately because the only thing i do when i am not doing uni stuff is sleep basically hahaha but let's go with reading? i mean literally just wasted 4 hours away by reading a story rather than compile arguments for my essay hahahah

21. something you’ve kept since childhood? - ooooh. thats a great question!! there are so many things! my room is just full of little trinkets that i picked up/found/made as a child. i'm going to go with my favourite stuffed animal monkey though. funnily enough he's called louis hahah

31. what type of music keeps you grounded? - grounded, hm. now i'm trying to think. because i know what keeps me calm but keeping me grounded feels more serious. i think classical music probably? and probably at the top of the list vivaldis four seasons. a) because it has family history, b) because it well thematically obviously almost forces you to take stock of the world around you, the passing of time, and just. earth. and c) because the anger of the summer section just. punches you right in the heart and rearranges your bones, doesn't it.

41. how do you take your coffee? - oooh trick question! i don't drink coffee! never have, never will. i don't even like the smell. oops hahhha

thank you so much! this really helped get me out of a funk. feel like i did something now, instead of just procrastinating. even if this probably also counts as procrastination hahahah

question time

#asks #dreamingfairytales #this was nice!! thank you!! #and pls for everyone else. pls ask me things!! #life truly is. a lot. lately. and i would truly truly appreciate the distraction!!!!!

[struggling-to-be-healthy]

July 21, 2022

Today was very long and a little rough. I didn't get enough sleep. I got up at 8 a.m. The plan was to ear breakfast and shower before my doctor's appointment. Well, Lace didn't go to work once again meaning Aaron was not on time. He was in the shower at 8 which is the time he should be leaving. I ate breakfast. He's still in the shower. By the time he got out it was too late for me to before I needed to leave. I was fucking PISSED. I did not want to go to the doctor's without showering. I felt so gross.

The appointment went pretty well. I said what I needed to say. She ordered blood work and prescribed stuff for my anxiety. She also gave me a couple options for a psychiatrist and therapist. All I have to do is make the calls and see how long it will take to get in. I told her I started Weight Watchers in April and I've lost 36 pounds. She said that was great and to keep it up. She also suggested eating more protein before going to the gym. That could be why I feel so weird when I go lately.

After the appointment I went to Bath and Body Works and bought things I shouldn't have. Candles were on sale for $13.50 and if you are a rewards member they sent out a 30% off coupon making the candles $9 something. I got two and a Halloween candle holder. Oops. I'm going to doordash this weekend to get the money back.

I went to get my blood work done because I didn't need to fast and wanted to get it over with. The girl was a pro. Thanks to my father I have hard to find veins so some times they have to poke me multiple times before finding a good one. This girl did it one and done. It has barely even bruised. I was so thankful.

I was hoping to get pick up my prescriptions, but one of them won't be ready until after 12 tomorrow. I'm a little bit annoyed with that.

For lunch I had a big chicken salad. It was pretty good.

For dinner I made cajun chicken fettuccine alfredo. I'm stupid and oiled the pasta water so the noodles wouldn't stick together not realizing that would then make the sauce not stick to them. It was also a little too spicy. I hate cooking.

I didn't go to the gym today, but I made sure to get my steps. Billy and I took our small walk. We saw 8 deer and some bunnies. When we got back I had to walk in place for the rest of my steps, but that's okay.

Now I'm about to go shower and probably go to bed shortly after. I'm exhausted.

#weight watchers #personal fitblr #fitbit #food #accountability #my day #thursday

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 23]

*STARBUCKS EDITION*

I was working with the assistant coach who says, “Nigga!”. It must have been judgment day or something. We worked very closely yesterday and he was playing music. He asked if I had any requests. I said, “I had one yesterday (off day), but I can’t remember, I’ll let you know if I do.”. He also asked what kind of music do (I) like. I just said, “Rap and Pop, mostly.”. He said he “doesn’t really like pop, just mostly R&B.” and “female rap.”. I was thinking, “Well you should, as many times as I almost catch you saying ‘Nigga’…”. The day was today, I thought like 6 times, “Did he say Nigga or was it just the song (and him)?”. He was right next to me during “Ice Spice - Munch”. She raps so fast on it, I was just like, “He won’t say it…but he might.”…and before you know it, “That _____ a munch, nigga a eater…”. He just stopped, covered his mouth and said “Oop!” and looked at me. I looked away. Job was in my hands.

Anyways, I didn’t remember the song, but I requested Megan Thee Stallion “Big Ole Freak” and ZAYN & Taylor Swift “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” to level out the pussy popping party we were having.

I had two dreams last night. One where I worked with these two rappers from the West Side at this fried chicken restaurant, who ironically, I saw making a music video on my way to work last year. The other with one of my newer female coworkers. She was supposed to be giving me a ride home and they took me to her apartment. She’s cute, but she keeps smiling at me at work. Bitch, if you want this dick, stop subtly letting everyone know we want to fuck. I have to maintain my reputation as obviously straight, but potentially homosexual. I don’t like pussy at work.

I took a long walk before work and after I arrived (early). Explored even further west (or is it North/Northwest?). I stumbled upon this Irish statue (sculpture?), The Galliene?. It appears I just was revisiting places I had already been. I’m taking another walk today.

I have decided to not go on a date or see anything in the downtown area. I was looking to purchase a movie ticket and thought, this will be fun, but I don’t spend money outside of the South Side, especially not outside of my old neighborhood. Also, what do I look like paying for pussy. Outrageous. I still have to acquire service for my cellular device at some point. Will update you all soon on my efforts.

I have revived chips in my diet. I still miss them everyday when we’re apart. Now, I will make some ramen noodles.

This is as short as I can see myself making a “Poor Chronicle” and it’s still very long. I may make edits tomorrow for updates on things I’ve already said, but that is it.

- MH (2023)

[10/21/2023 - 9:46AM - Typed]

[10/22/2023 - 12:27/28PM - Posted]

EDIT: I went for a walk in Gold Coast. It was nice, wish I could see more. I also walked to Oak Street Beach about 30 minutes before my shift. My African American manager asked me to get him a peanut butter milkshake and I said, “I may not have time.”…because of my walk time being unknown. The man didn’t know which one was peanut butter, I could tell by the look on his face, so I left. He started yelling at me about not bringing anything back. I said “ __________, I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING FOR A WALK!”. He still wanted a milkshake. I was like, “I don’t have time, my shift starts in 11 minutes! I clock in usually in about 4 minutes from now!”. He still asked. I went and told him I was going to whoop his ass in the alley after the shift for making me be 3 minutes late. I also said I would have his stomach pumped for the milkshake after my shift for not playing my song request (which he skipped, it got played after though) and making me (technically) 10 minutes late and missing like $1 or so in pay. They were out of chicken for my favorite chicken salad after the shift. This happened Tuesday night as well. Told my female coworker (who said “Nigga!”) that she was fired for this because she threw it out when we closed. It was my manager who refused to make it yesterday. He also, before we closed, asked if I was retarded (not verbatim) or if I ever “had like 8 kids in any of my classes”… I almost smacked the shit out of him, but just ended up saying, “No, I was the smartest kid in every single one of my classes.” and he went on to tell me who he thought was disabled at my job. I just laughed and started walking home.

I considered not fucking my female coworker’s life up because I said on one of my snapchat stories that I was no longer letting “racist niggers” suck my dick, then I said, “But why would I do that?” after I saw her titties and said “That would be so ridiculous.”. There’s also this other racist girl I remembered I went to college with (great titties as well), hate that bitch, so she needs to get her life fucked up too. Very religious, so why would she not want to get fucked by god? Exactly.

Anyway, onto acquiring service today…

#personal #poor chronicles #poor #poverty #life #lesson #life lesson #life lessons #guidance #struggle #chicago #2023 #LilMark #PUNKAssMark #afr0-thunder

[dietcokengineer]

she was a pain in my neck

Hi Gang! Today my neck felt a little bit better than the last few days, I used one of those therapy gun things that oscillate quickly to break down any knots, and it seemed to help quite a bit! I also figured out that it's more likely than not my traps (spelling?) that are seizing for one reason or another. I don't know, that's where it feels the tightest when I turn my neck side to side at least. I really hope it's better for tomorrow, I'm scheduled to work, but if my neck is in any condition like it was a few mornings ago I might need to call in sick. I always hate calling in sick, I feel like such a burden. If i had to guess it's a bit of lingering anxiety from working at Loblaws, which was a really negative environment, and it was at a time where I really wasn't doing too hot with both my mental and physical health. I'm doing better now, but I still feel bad. Could also just be some lingering trauma from my short stint with chronic pain (title of my memoir lmao), but I find that whenever I tell myself that I can do it, I can. I can! I can! I can!!!!! Otherwise, I haven't been up to much, other than prepping for college. I made a little list of all my essentials that I want to bring from home. I'm considering buying a new pair of headphones, like a nice pair of over-the-ear ones. Like, the kind that are a little expensive, but you know they're good, sorta thing. I'm looking at some ones from Sony and they're around what I would expect to pay, but I just missed out on a sale so I might wait until they go back on sale, or maybe some sort of Back to School thing; it's very much a want and not a need, which I know isn't how you're supposed to spend money in university, but I'm not sure I really want them, and I've literally, for as long as I can remember wanted a pair. I'm feeling a bit more agoraphobic than normal as well, idk, everything seems a bit cold and a bit unsettling; but we move. My university does like a refresher math course over summer vacation for I believe the students in my faculty because the rate at which the curriculum develops and the professors teach is faster than the rate of your normal high school environment. I'm working through it, but I wish I was a bit more efficient with my time; practice is definitely needed, but I have 4.67 years to develop it so I think I should be good! I stopped watching the bear for whatever reason, but now I'm onto watching those limited series on Netflix about crazy stuff that's all based on true stories: 10/10 tbh. A new hobby of mine is listening to jazz music and reading Fran Lebowitz books; makes me feel like a real New Yorker, and my late grandmother; oops, love you bestie! I'm bringing my fan to my dorm room, but I'm realizing only in this very moment that I don't know if I'll have somewhere to put her. I'm not even sure why I'm writing these little posts, it just feels good to have a little moment to write down exactly what I'm thinking in a way that feel natural, but not as involved as writing in a diary. Anyways, Hi t4t baskin robbins

[look-at-the-soul]

Oohh hi! Gossip Girl here!🥰 Ok I typed this up earlier and then got distracted and forgot to actually send it as an ask😂 The downside of typing in notes and getting distracted😂

but hi!:) I've been good! I get to fly and see my family tomorrow so that's exciting! (Plus no school!) 😂 I really want to try and get more of a story done but I also don't know if that'll happen 😂 I'm very excited to see my sister!!

And yes you do a very good job at pulling my emotions for all the stories of yours I read!❤️❤️

Lol, it's totally fine if the previous messages are still saved and stuff! I'll be around for a while so take all the time you need! 😂😂 🥰 (Plus I think I rambled a bit so they were a tad long 😅 oops)

I usually type stuff in my notes and then look up a word counter online and try to like manually edit it😂 I should probably start using work to make sure it's better though. I'll like post something and then realize a few days later autocorrect/auto finish screwed me over changed a word slightly without me realizing and then it bugs me😂 I really just want to go through and like re-edit everything to make it right but idk how long that would take😂 But I like using the Notes for writing though because I can like quickly send it to my IPad where I usually edit and finish formatting stuff😂 Plus I'm scared of typing something long up and then like word or tumblr loses it too😭😭 It's happened on both before and sometimes on Word I can recover it but usually it doesn't work to well because I forget to save often enough😂

And ooohhh can I ask where you're going for the weekend? Is it for fun plans!:)

And yeah!! I'm glad you've got good weather!! It also just got a bit colder for me here in Florida but it's still relatively sunny which is nicer! When it gets to be chillier I like it because it gives me an excuse to bundle up in fun sweatshirts and beanies😂

But I think that's all I got for now! You're amazing!!!🥰🥰🥰

Hey GG!

Just a little heads up 😊 my main account got banned (I know it’s so annoying and it makes no sense) but in the mean time I created a side account -I can still get messages in my inbox so we’re good there.

Oh, I hope you’re enjoying your family time a lot!!! Haha it’s okay, if you can, work on that story but also I hope you get to make the most out of your time with your sister 💖

Thank you so so much!! This is the best compliment a writer can get ✨♥️

Yeah I have them! I wanted to answer them earlier, buuut I got my account banned 😔 so I took a couple of days off - I was feeling down about it. But it’s all good now. Nah, you didn’t rambled, your messages makes me smile plus we don’t have words limitations so that’s good!

It’s so annoying to mess up with a word and noticing so late about it 😂 I recently downloaded wpswriter for a tablet because I won’t be able to have access to my laptop and I needed it to edit the stories, correct grammar mistakes and such, there’s a free version and it’s practically a word (copy paste!) you can even save on the internal cloud your document so for anyone without a laptop access this is also a good option on the go, it also has spreadsheets and presentations option 🙂 but yeah, agree on the notes they’re lifesaver !! Oh but word has the unsaved document options, in case you really need something there must be a tutorial to recover those…

Yeah my brother is attending the F1 during the weekend so I’m puppysitting their dog 🥰

Weather is weird haha yesterday was so hot I even went to get some ice cream 🍦 but then I have to get a sweater or something at night, anyways I hope you get lots of sunny days but chilly enough for a sweatshirt:)

Have a lovely Sunday! You’re amazing as well!! ✨x

[pbandjesse]

I am very tired today. I also am just having trouble hearing people. I feel like I am hearing them but not understanding. I don't know what's up. Not fun.

Last night when I got home James wanted me to try their garlic bread. Which was very good but I was not hungry so I didn't eat much. I was just so tired. I washed my hair and felt a little better. And fell asleep pretty quickly. I was just so beat.

I did not feel much better when I woke up. I just wanted to keep sleeping. I gave myself an extra 15 minutes and would get up and tried to feel fine.

Jsmss left while I was doing my makeup. They packed me lots of snacks and things today. And I had hoped that it would perk me up.

The drive into camp was fine. It wasn't as cold today but it was still cold.

I spent the first half hour I was there eating breakfast and working on my beading project. But soon I needed to go set up my program for the feild trip today.

I was frustrated when I went over to the eyrie and could not find my program box. It was in the closet. Why! Annoying. Whatever. I went to arts and crafts and set that up and turned on a space heater that did not do much. And went back to the office.

Sarah, Celia, and Eliza were there. We chatted and I kept working on my beading. I was not feeling very social. I wanted to save my energy for our field trip. Because it was going to go very quick and crazy. 4 groups of 23 2nd graders. 25 minute rotations. Wild.

And of course the group was late. So we had to cut the first program. Not shocked. Me and Celia were talking before they got there and we were both very worried about skipping a program. Because then everyone is missing a different one. And so someone won't do my craft and another won't see the animals. And it just makes us both a little stressed.

But we did our best to make it the best quick feildtirp we could!!

And they were lovely children. Good listeners. Just so sweet. And for being such a quick turn around we got through a bunch of stuff I would normally do in the bee program. They didn't all finish their crafts but their teacher said they could finish once they got back to school. That made me feel better too.

Elizabeth came up to watch the program. Which always makes me nervous but I think I did a good job. My tape dispensers are all broken so I would be standing there with tape and scissors and just put a ton of pieces on the edge of the table so people could just come and grab it.

In the last half hour Elizabeth came up to ask me to put together a bag of supplies for the group who didn't get to do the project. I am glad they will get to do it. So while I put that together and made an example Elizabeth would do the tape cutting and was like. We are getting you new dispensers. Amazing. That will make things a lot easier.

It would take me a while to clean up the art building. Putting my markers away. And sweeping. I returned the box to the eyrie and then to the lodge. I volunteered to clean the bathrooms because I had sweeping and putting away the chairs. So I collected all the trash (accidently upended the trash bag s d had to pick up all the paper towels) and sprayed everything with cleaning product and cleaned it up nice. I checked in with Bonnie and she said she would mop. Amazing. Hate doing the floors.

I had not gotten to eat lunch. During the 15 minute break we had in the middle of the trip I did run and eat a few mouthfuls of pasta salad. But I needed to eat for real.

I had my veggie hot dog and kept working on my beads. And would slowly start to feel better.

Me and Heather would go over my schedule I had made and she pointed out a few issues. Firstly I forgot about tipis. Just completely not on the schedule. Oops. And apparently we don't do canoes in the afternoon! Interesting. But at least for now I have something to fix. That's one of the things I want to do tomorrow. Continue to work on this schedule. And I want to work on the organizing of the attic. We will see how that goes.

I started coughing again this afternoon. Which was uncomfortable. I tried drinking more water but it didn't help much. I was excited to go home.

But first I had to go to the Dutch market.

I said goodbye to everyone. And drove to the market. I got some fancy soaps. One is a vanilla peppermint and the other is spiced chai. I got a ton of baked goods for us to have over the week. And I got me and James pretzels. I had to come back for those because they were in the oven still so once I got them they were super fresh. Amazing. It was nice walking around and seeing all the stuff. It was a fun stop.

I got stuck in some traffic on the way home but that was fine. It wasn't horrible. And I would be home around 5.

When I got inside James was there and I was happy to see them. They had gotten pizza dough ingredients in the bread machine for dinner later. And they went to get on their computer to do their podcast. And after I did a little cleaning of my fish tanks I went to work on my studio.

I made 6 more horses for the holiday market this weekend. They need finishing work but at least they are seen and stuffed. My hands still hurt from the cuts I got at ceramics. So I wasn't having the bestest time but it's fine. I'm glad I got them to that point. I'll finish those tomorrow.

I took a bath. Watched a video. James put an extra kettle of hot water in the tub for me. And now we are all in bed. Jess sent us a list of things we can go see in NYC next weekend when we go to do Christmas stuff. We highlighted a few things I would for sure like to see. I'm excited to go to New York with my favorite people. It's been forever since I've been there. And I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

I am very ready to sleep. I hope tomorrow is a productive day. And I feel better.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of eachother! Goodnight!

[carcinized]

hello june skycourthouse youre literally the coolest ever you are just. just. hmm i am so happy we are friends <3 it is sunny and and the leaves are pretty colors ill send u some pictures later maybe and i think im home alone and the world is just so pretty and i think you are just. you're sunshiney <3 i am listening to the song good morning sunlight by i fight dragons do you know that one? it makes me think of u :D its so warm and pretty also i love it :DDD

how are you today! it's sunday! today we are putting the sun in sunday i suppose at least where i live. i am uhh putting off homework. oops. i started a new minecraft hardcore world yestrday!! i found a village and made a silly little starter house that is literally just a box and also found a shipwreck but i cant navigate the map that was in it :< i have. so much laundry to do >_< and im just very warm rn! in multiple ways :) i am wearing the coziest sweater its lovely :]

its october 16 which is so many of my friends' birthdays so i forgot about the red festival ummm. im gonna rewatch tubbos pov of the red festival i think </3 OH ive eben working on the benchtrio ghosthunting au a bit im excited for that and also my other main project (aka: stardust projects onto tommy and ranboo is well hes certainly There.) ive been like outlining whats gonna happen and its gonna be cool :) im giving u a bouquet of flowers or a potted plant or just literally a piece of grass i hope youre doing well <3 im not ready for the weather to get colder but i do love the pretty colors and . sweaters :]]

LAJDFJ i wrote this in the afternoon.... its 10 pm now.... PFFT. okay pressing send. i do just frequemntly forget to do that huh

love ya ollie :D

awww thats so sweet, it was super foggy the past 2 days here for the first time its been sooo nice <3 and no i do not know that song :O

YOOOO HARDCORE!!! i have never done a hardcore world i have far too much rage inside me i dont think i could take that sort of loss, BUT ITS OK UR SLAYING i have Also been putting off folding my laundry... it is just in a pile on my floor Oops. I Forgor (my room is the messiest place in the universe rn Its Fine)

BUT WOOOO YEAH IT IS :D the red festival my beloved <333 THATS SO COOL THO GHOSTHUNTING AU THE BEST AU IN THE WORLD!!!! i think itll be aweomse also Omg Grass... the other day i was outside doing (activity) with friends and there was some really soft grass and i wanted to eat it but then i remembereed we were at Gross Public Place and though it was soft someone had probably thrown up on it before so i should Not put it in my mouth and it was very sad for me, i like how grass tastes but alas that grass would have been germy so yes anyways i am appreciating your grass. also i cant wait for the cold weather except for actually its just about as cold as itll get here already only it still warms up to like 80F in the afternoon so we just suffer bc we cant dress right, but its ok bc the past two days like i said its been foggy so :D i just need it to start raining so we can Heat Our House lmao we need it to be wet enough outside to make a fire w/o lighting half the country on fire LOL

and its ok king i get it. i am heading to bed Also now i think this is a late response sorry i didnt see this, but goodnight sleep well i hope you have a great day tomorrow!! love u :] <33

#ask #stardust !