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eppysboys · 9 months

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Sam Leach and Joan McEvoy's Engagement Party, 17th March 1962 🕺💃

Earlier in the evening, The Beatles performed at the Village Hall in Knotty Ash, Liverpool. The evening was billed as a "St. Patrick's Night Rock Gala". Sam Leach, (Liverpool concert booker) booked The Beatles and Rory Storm and The Hurricanes to draw a big crowd so that he could make enough profits to pay for his engagement party, scheduled to follow the night's show. Both bands attended Leach's party, which didn't end until the following afternoon. Also present at the party was Mike McCartney, Paul's girlfriend Dorothy 'Dot' Rhone, Brian Epstein, Bob Wooler and Ted 'Kingsize' Taylor.

In his book Sam Leach has a distinct memory of 'a gang of us' (presumably including Beatles and Hurricanes) travelling to the party from Knotty Ash in a van. Their driver (not Neil Aspinall) pulled out from the Village Hall into the path of a speeding articulated lorry which seemed to have appeared from nowhere. Everyone braced themselves for the inevitable impact but miraculously the lorry, its brakes screeching hysterically, managed to stop less than a foot from the side of the van. Shocked, stunned, shaken and stirred, everyone in the van travelled the 1.5 miles to the party in complete silence.

Hurricane Johnny 'Guitar' Byrne diary entry for 1962 mentions the party:

"Bought Zodiac. Knotty Ash, Orrell, then Sam Leach's engagement party. Had row with Eileen. Got home 6."

The party was at the family house in Huyton, thrown by Dolly, mother of Vera and Joan McEvoy.

"I can vouch for the fact that Brian fell in love with Vera and pursued her all night. In fact after the party he wrote more than one letter to Dolly asking her could she help him fix a date with Vera. Unfortunately for Brian she wasn't interested." Sam Leach (She seemed a little interested, as displayed below)

"Brown, who was married (but separated) at the time of her liaison with Epstein in 1962, describes him as "...very emotional. He always gave the impression of being cold and icy, but he was very softhearted, very tender, very gentle, and he had a lot of feelings. And he was all man, I don't care what they say." (Ray Coleman, The Man Who Made The Beatles)

"We’d been to the Knotty Ash Club for my sister’s engagement. The Beatles had played there, as did Rory [Storm] and a few other groups. Afterwards, as usual, we all went back to the house and Brian came along.

If you saw the Beatles in my mother’s they were just a scruffy bunch of boys. And who’d look at them? I wouldn’t bother with them but then Brian stood out and Brian looked like the real thing. He was handsome. He was tall. He was immaculate. That’s why I let Brian get behind the bar with me and help me serve the drinks. He was the best of the bunch.

So we were just behind the bar when Elvis came on, 'Heartbreak Hotel’. He loved it, I loved it, and we started dancing. There wasn’t much room. You know, you could go two steps forward, three steps back and that was it. So we sort of got a bit close and everyone was laughing at us, saying, like, 'What’s going on?’ But if you moved sideways you fell over the crates. There were crates of beer in there and everybody’s coats. We ended up on top of the coats or on top of the crates if we just moved the wrong way. And we got pretty close but I wasn’t surprised by the way he was acting towards me.

We were dancing and kissing at the same time. He was probably one of the sexiest fellas I had ever met. People say, 'Oh well, Brian was gay.’ but he wasn’t very gay with me. He was just like any other man and more. He was very easy-going and casual and funny. He’d make you laugh and he could dance. You know he could move. He said to me, 'I’ve seen you in different places and I thought you were stuck up.’ And I said, 'Well, I thought you were stuck up because I remember being in your shop and you were like the big boss.’

I think he was pretty fresh. In a house where people are looking at you it’s not like a club with all the lights out and people tend to be aware of others but Brian wasn’t that bothered. He was interested and he showed it. Maybe he’d had a bit too much to drink. I don’t know. But I can’t say that because I met Brian afterwards and he was still interested.

The next day he called round to the house. I wasn’t there so he talked to my mother about poetry. I don’t know how they got talking about poems but Brian came the following day with a book of poems for my mother with a little letter. He also gave her a letter thanking her for having the party because everyone had made such a terrible mess of the house. It was full of eggs and rubbish and bottles everywhere and he apologized for the actions of everybody else at the party.

Well, my mother just thought he was the most wonderful person in the world. At last a gentleman has come through this door and not Teddy boys and hooligans and all the rest of it. In the first letter he said he’d enjoyed meeting her, loved coming to the house, felt so welcome and would she mind if he came around again to see me. I said to my mum, 'Well, that’s impossible. How can I see him? You know I can’t go out with Brian.’ She said, 'You will have to’.

My mother was in love with Brian: 'He’s beautiful. He’s wonderful.’ So she sort of arranged it. I didn’t want him to come and pick me up at the house because I didn’t want people to see us going out. I arranged to meet him in a little cafe in Bold Street. We had a coffee and a chat and then I can’t really remember where we went. We went somewhere for a drink around Bold Street where there were all these little dives at the time. But I had to be back for nine o'clock. Another time I met him in the Tower and we had a little chat. We met in the back office and had a talk.

I liked Brian as a man and I think Brian liked me. But then he suggested if we were to go out we’d have to go to Southport or Manchester - anywhere out of Liverpool because he didn’t want to walk into my husband in Liverpool. We were separated at the time but it was a little bit awkward, you know.

It’s hard for me to believe Brian was gay. I think if I had been free and if I’d seen more of Brian I think we could have got serious. I think he was all man. I just can’t accept that he was gay.

In the shop Brian seemed like a man, like your dad shouting at you and superior. He had an attitude of superiority. But later on I discovered he was just like any other man. I thought he was a very passionate, loving person. He was like two different people. So if there’s a third person involved - this gay person - I just say he’s one hell of a man to be able to please everybody. You know, he was just unique. That’s all I can say." Vera Brown, In His Life, The Brian Epstein Story.

"George always fancied Joan and when I began dating her, he asked her to let him know when she finished seeing me. 'But don't tell Sam', he added. 'He’d batter me!' Today she probably feels like battering me for spoiling her chances." Sam Leach, The Rocking City

"Later in the evening, Joan had a headache and said she was going upstairs for a lie down. I went to fetch a couple of aspirins from the kitchen and said I'd follow her. Bob Wooler then made a typically cheap remark about pre-marital sex. Before I had a chance to sort him out, Paul and George grabbed him and made him personally apologise to Joan." Sam Leach, The Rocking City

"Rory Storm was lying on the floor hopelessly drunk. He shouted up to Paul, 'I wanna be in the picture'. So, as you can see, Paul bent down and lifted his foot into the shot." Sam Leach

"The night rolled on and I found Lennon, completely sloshed, sitting in the kitchen rolling raw eggs down Ann Barton's birds-nest hairstyle. Each time one broke, he gave a gasp of astonishment at the gooey yellow mess spreading across the tiled floor. Dolly found out and gave him a severe rollicking, which sobered him up enough to utter a sincere, 'Sorry, Mrs Mac'. Everyone liked and respected Dolly McEvoy and that was the only time I ever saw Lennon genuinely humbled. He disappeared for a while after that and was found later fast asleep in the bath.

When he finally came downstairs, he once again started to apologise. Dolly had forgotten all about it, but he was still apologising as he left at nine the next morning. As we stood outside, he shook my hand gravely. 'That was the very best party I've ever been to . . . honest,' he croaked. I was pleased everyone had enjoyed themselves, but when John started thanking me for a third time, I put him in a taxi and packed him off home. As he left, I slipped an egg into his pocket. He never did tell me how that hatched out." Sam Leach, The Rocking City

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nanatsuyu · 10 months

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I feel like it’s not talked about enough that early in the books Kevin is the only person we see Andrew initiating any type of physical closeness/touch with at all … also thinking about how they’re described physically with each other in Son of Nefes like. so much tenderness (@ your tags about how Andrew carries himself around Kevin and Neil)

I definitely think their closeness in the beginning gets overshadowed a lot by how close Andrew and Neil get later in the series. And that's not a diss on andreil! I think it's important to Andrew's character to see that while Neil played a very large part in letting Andrew explore his boundaries and grow comfortable with physical affections, there were others that helped in that healing along the way too.

One of my favourite scenes is the one where Kevin takes his glove off for Andrew to inspect his hand for any damages. It's written in such a way that implies they weren't paying any attention to the rest of the world around them. Matt had been carded, the play was over and a fight had broken out, and during that sliver of time, either Andrew had hailed Kevin over or he'd gone of his own volition to the goal for Andrew to give his injuries a one over. Kevin knew he was going to get swapped out, and they both turned somewhat surprised when Dan called out to Kevin, as if the game being in play was an afterthought. (Which, considering it's Kevin, seems somewhat ooc since he always knows what's going on on court).

And, although we don't have the exact words regarding Andrew's deal with Kevin, it was implied in the most basic terms that Andrew would protect Kevin from Riko. (There's obviously nuance here given Andrew's bodyguard tendencies when Kevin gets into later spats with people, but for the sake of how vague most of Andrew's deals are spoken aloud, I think it's safe to assume he promised to protect Kevin from his big bad not sibling in the same way he promised to have Neil's back). All that just to say... It wasn't really in their deal for Andrew to protect or look after Kevin outside of his affiliations with the Ravens. And yet, even after threatening to break his own hand before all this, because Kevin annoyed the piss out of him so much, here he was, inspecting Kevin's hand and putting the game on hold to do so.

This injury has nothing to do with Riko or the Ravens. So, in terms of their deal, he didn't really need to dote on Kevin like that. And yet.

And yet.

And this is really only one instance of them being glued at the hip. Andrew does a lot of redirecting of Kevin's person in the same way we see him do later with Neil. Like you said as well, Kevin's the only one for some pages that we see Andrew physical with that isn't necessarily reactionary or defensive. I know Andrew was still on his meds at the time, but this line came across to me as him literally shoving Andrew down court who didn't seem to take much issue with the it:

He doesn't make much mention of it, but if I had to wager a guess, these moments of familiar contact are not a new thing upon Neil's arrival.

(Also it's been a hot minute since I skimmed through son nefes (the ec and I are on cherry picking terms most days) but I know Renee saw it too.)

Like it makes me insane to think about how their deal didn't have to incorporate all that closeness. It didn't require Andrew to become intertwined with the rest of Kevin's life and daily going on's. He could have agreed to keep him on a leash from getting dragged out of the fox den by the Ravens and called it a day, but we can see clear as day that Andrew treats his relationship with Kevin far more delicately than that. In terms of canon, the best friend (platonic soul bond or whatever title floats your fancy) behaviour jumped out of Andrew so fast, I'm shocked how anyone could overlook it.

And I haven't even touched on how Wymack views their relationship, or Kathy's show, or the role Andrew plays as Kevin's other half post Evermore, or the first genuine smiles are the ones they give each other, or the pseudo threat of the butter knife scene, or whatever they had going on here:

Like, there are certainly motions that can be considered varying levels of tender, but I do think it's important to remember that Andrew's gestures should not be measured with the same scale as say someone like Renee. We can obviously see in later chapters that Andrew can be incredibly gentle (ie the hip kiss that ruined my life), but I think it's a disservice to Andrew's character to understate how close he and Kevin are through the series, both physically and emotionally.

#and i say emotionally with an asterisk because i dont think anyone in that series made it out without some codependency issues #but thats another topic #also thos got really long and rambly im so sorry #i just feel very desperately about Them #aftg #kevin day #andrew minyard #kandrew #nana asks

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o-uncle-newt · 9 months

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I'm not going to reblog Neil Gaiman's thing about how S2's episodes "don't have any fat on them" but I DO have some (spoilery) reactions to that below the cut-

OK so I already did another post here where I gave my impressions of the writing- but Gaiman mentioning this actually reminded me of something that I didn't put in there at all but kind of wish I had.

Because honestly, I don't think that the episodes not having any fat on them is a good thing.

Here's the thing- Good Omens, the book and the first season of the TV show, is a bunch of set pieces that loosely come together into a plot. The TV show less so, maybe- there's more of an effort to create a narrative- but fundamentally it's a bunch of ridiculous stuff all strung together to create the Apocalypse. (Like, there's a reason why book fans were so upset when the Four Other Horsemen of the Apocalypse didn't show up in the show- they did literally nothing for the plot but they were absolutely hilarious.)

So far, in the first 2 episodes of S2, I have to agree with Gaiman that there's no fat on them. And I think that's one of the things that kind of threw me. EVERYTHING that has happened thus far has felt like it's something that's probably going to lead to something else, like it's connective tissue for the upcoming story that will presumably make more sense later- and while there's plenty of entertainment and humor and sweetness, it's all to the point. You have to be paying attention, you have to take everything seriously (even if it's something that by rights feels inherently unserious) because it could matter later.

In S1, you didn't have to think too carefully about why a telemarketer is being eaten by maggots or even why there's still a witchfinder in the 21st century (for the show) because fundamentally it doesn't REALLY matter. Something will all come together at the end and in the meantime you can just enjoy it in the spirit in which it's given, which is of course an insane one. Each scene is just fun on its own. (I think this is in some ways truer in the book than the show- there were a lot of these scenes that I don't think worked on the show- but that was more about the execution than the concept.)

The fat in S1 was the good part, really. The plot wasn't all that important- it was all the moments along the way.

The closest thing to fat (to continue to use the metaphor) in S2, so far, is the minisode. It's the only thing where it doesn't necessarily feel like you'll be tested on it later. And it's also easily the best part of those episodes! You can just watch it and take all the ridiculousness for granted because it doesn't really matter. It's there to draw out the characters, it's there to give the world more color, and it's there to entertain.

Not that S2 isn't also there to entertain- it very much is, but it doesn't really have time to. It can be silly and random in the way that the book and S1 are, but instead of those being random throwaway moments (like Newt blacking out all of Dorking in the book- which signifies that his tech-unsavviness may be relevant to the plot later but is really mostly just there to entertain because it's so out-there), they are intrinsically tied into whatever the plot will turn out to be. That's really clear, even though we don't actually know yet exactly what the plot is going to be! The leanness of the plot is immediately evident.

I think, so far, that the main negative consequence is that it makes it so much harder to suspend disbelief. When you have a ridiculous moment in a throwaway scene, that's worldbuilding- it shows that this is the kind of world where ridiculous things happen, and then when a particular ridiculous moment ends up being important to the plot, that's fine because it's part of a whole constellation of ridiculous things in this ridiculous world- they've already deconstructed our sense of disbelief. When all you're getting is plot, when something a bit crazy happens you're like "oh, hang on, that doesn't make sense, that's a bit farfetched."

I think that that's one of the things that, so far, is giving "fanfic vibes" to the first two episodes. Maggie and Nina get locked into the cafe? In their first episode?! When we know that they're going to get together?!?! That's ridiculous. In the book and to a lesser degree S1, where like five other ridiculous things would have already happened that aren't heavily signaled to be important to the plot (Gabriel doesn't count because we know he's important to the plot too), this would just be one more ridiculous thing. In S2, it feels like something we need to suspend disbelief for because we haven't really had it suspended for us yet.

Everything I write about Good Omens here is going to come down to John Finnemore in the end because I can't help myself lol, but honestly, my first thought was "well he's really into plotting, so maybe this is part of that." But- he's also done nine and a bit seasons of a sketch show. While he was writing this he was also writing a season of JFSP (the sublime S9) where there was very minimal plot but everything was propelled by character building sketches, very much in the spirit of Good Omens. He knows exactly the power of random ridiculous moments to build the world and explain its ludicrousness. When him being a writer was announced, I saw so many people say "he's definitely got a bonkers enough brain to do this" except that it turns out that, while true, his bonkers sketch-writing brain doesn't really have a lot to do here.

That, plus the fact that I'd be really surprised from everything that I've heard over the last 2ish years if Gaiman wasn't the first and final voice behind everything written for this season, leads me to the conclusion that the issue might just be that S2 may be, as a group effort, over-plotted for its length. There's little room to breathe and live in the world. There are barely any humans, and as such there's not much time to remember that the story is set in a world where humans matter, which, as I pointed out in my previous post, is something that was really important in Good Omens the book and S1. It just doesn't have any fat.

Now- I should be clear- as I said with the other post, it is way too early to tell if GO2 is good or not, because all of the stuff in E1-2 was clearly building up to other things that haven't happened yet. I actually think S2 probably will be good. The above may not be "issues" per se. But I do think that talking about the original Good Omens like the "fat" is the problem kind of misses the point of why so many people liked it- and leaves GO2 with a pretty big burden to overcome in order to convince viewers that it is a continuation of the same world and same story they loved in S1.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #john finnemore #john finnemore's souvenir programme #jfsp s9 #because I can't help myself

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broken-heart-raven-queen · 13 days

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Tsc spoilers (CW: SA)

I saw many people talking about how Riko made Ravens SA Jean to punish him for being gay (bi, actually) or to create a bad association with men in general because "is easier to be straight". But they forget that those weren't Riko's words.

Riko is a twisted individual, that's what we know for a fact. He was a sadist and enjoy taking his rage on Kevin and Jean and having them under control.

But he was also the same man that spat in Neil's mouth and made him swallow it. The same man that keeps Kevin's room as a museum and practically only interacts with other men in all 3 books (excluding some exceptions you can count with one hand).

Jean said that Riko needed someone (5 people) to "help him break in" Jean and you can analyse those words how you want but it's a very interesting wording if you ask me. Not to mention that Jean doesn't wanna talk about Riko or the extent of his abuse.

That man was a monster, but he wasn't moved by homophobia, maybe by some weird amount of repressed homosexuality, but he didn't suggest this "punishments" to "correct" Jean, just to make him submit more.

#tsc spoilers #the sunshine court spoilers #tsc #the sunshine court #aftg #all for the game #aftg brainrot #nora sakavic #jean moreau #riko moriyama

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thespineoftherighteous · 3 months

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to address the Thea stuff. the reasons ppl don't like her kinda matched to what I said at the end about ppl being more willing to forgive the white characters for things:

1. the age gap. it's only 4 years, and any relationship only begins after kevin is 18. and he was the one who had a crush on her when he was younger, not the other way around. People tend to spread lies about this, things that weren't said in the ec such as saying they're relationship started when he was 14 and she was 18, which I mentioned in my original anon.

2. the 'agression'. I don't think she's aggressive. she was angry yeah, which she had every right to be after kevin ghosted her. he was obviously going through a lot, but of course given he didn't communicate this, she didn't know. she can only work off what she knows. again I just see this as the fandom being very uncharitable to her. kevin chokes neil when he's angry so I really don't think she's the aggressive one in this relationship. and if she is, she's not alone.

3. devotion to the ravens. again, so is kevin. People forgive him for this because he's obviously been brainwashed by them. but so has she. again, just seems like people forgiving other characters for things they wouldn't forgive her for.

4. randomness of relationship with kevin. I don't think it's random? I'm not a fan of their relationship, but people love to ship kevin/Jean primarily cause they were ravens together. kevin and Thea were ravens together, it makes sense they'd grow close. they're both also very dedicated to exy, a common reason people ship neil/kevin. so idk? to everyone's taste ofc, but it still isn't a valid reason for her to get the hate she gets.

idk necessarily about people liking her more if she was a fox. probably? she's very similar to kevin, and people like him. and I can imagine people not liking him if he stayed a Raven and we saw him through a fox perspective. so you're probably right.

on her only having a scene or two and not being very likeable in them. I guess again, it asks the question of why she's not likeable in these scenes? I think people don't want to view things from her perspective, and there can be a lot of reasons for that ofc.

Jean has more scenes than her, but he's not 'likeable' in many of them. He's rude, just like Thea was. He holds Neil down when he's getting tortured. He arguably should be more disliked, but he's not. I think people are more willing to offer him understanding because they're more willing to see things from his perspective. He acts this way because he's a traumatised cult member, and that's exactly why Thea acts the way she does.

It's hard to describe the hate people have for her if you haven't seen it much, but more often than not it goes far beyond 'this character just doesn't show up much so idrc'. People tend to hate her with a passion similar to the hate they view Riko with. Again, people call her abusive and a pedophile semi-reguarly. It goes beyond her just being a little unlikeable.

There was a motivation for a decent number of fans to spread these lies about her character, and I'm curious what that motivation was I suppose? cause I certainly don't do that for characters I just find unlikeable. Or characters that didn't have many scenes. Even if most fans aren't actively racist, they've bought into and fueled lies that were likely spread with racist motivation.

i honestly don't really disagree with you on anything (like the age gap wasn't something I personally ever paid attention to, I was saying that's what other people have a problem with. and honestly I do think that's fair for them, it just never stuck out to me) except for the fourth point bc I will maintain that their relationship is random. not random in a 'these two people are incompatible' way but in a 'the first time we hear Kevin even has a girlfriend is like 2/3 into the last book of the series and the chemistry (to me at least) seemed incredibly lacking but we're supposed to assume they're in love'

but I think you just might be overestimating how much people think about her. again: she's a very very minor character and I don't think people will necessarily go out of their way to see things through her perspective because of that. honestly I feel like what you said about Jean explains it p well: he does worse things than Thea but, even though he's also minor, we see way more of him than Thea we see him vulnerable and at his worst and there's more there that shapes him as a complex person. I genuinely think that if she had even as much screen time as Jean it'd be a different conversation.

but however, out of all the minor characters in the series she is one of the ones that gets the least mercy from the fans and that definitely feels racist to me. i don't think people need to explain and dissect why they dislike a character (especially characters as complicated as Nora's) but the fact that it's so easy for fans to just jump on a hate train for the only canon WOC is deeply unsettling.

I think the complexity of Nora's characters actually make aftg fans really weird and intense when it comes to defending/attacking characters. I remembered being rlly taken aback by the Aaron and Nicky and like Allison hate that I saw when I first started engaging with other fans because so much of it just seemed not true and wayyyy overexaggerated??? idk if it's the fans themselves or the content that makes them so intense but.

#sorry if this sounds weird I wrote in a rush bc I gtg but I wanted to respond sozz #aftg #🦊✉️

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melfinawins · 5 months

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I originally posted this in a reblog to @melonatures, but I'ma post it here.

Since you posted this, I haven't been able to forget it. I love it, but it took a little bit to figure out why these two gifs are particularly great.

I love your gifset. Let me explain all the ways:

"No, no, no. Fak's not my best friend."

I love how Carmy's face is turned away from the camera for a moment. And he hesitates and looks towards his front door where Syd just left. But then he agrees that Neil is his best friend. Which is totally fine! But I wonder if he was pressed by say, Nat or Richie he'd say the same thing. Fak is best friends to everyone, but is he Carmy's? I dare say Carmy's best friend is Syd, considering we're shown in the show how they are quietly and steadily laying the groundwork for a long, strong and substantial partnership. A partnership that is also a relationship.

We know that Carmy is working with Syd to reach her goal of a Michelin star, stars he thinks are bullshit. This is her goal but he's more than happy to help her reach it, to the point that he's willing to give her hands-on training on how to perfect a dish. Perfection requires fine tuning and precise decisions. Syd is an amazing chef early in her career, and has the makings of a wunderkind on the food scene if she can harness her natural abilities and training. I think Carmy sees that in her and admires it. I think he's attracted to her love of food and by spending time with her on the menu and just hanging out, it's reminding him that, even if he became a chef to spite Mikey, he actually loves it, he just didn't want to do it alone.

In working together to make the menu for The Bear, which will also help Syd get the star she covets, they've gotten close (more close than sitting behind the shop and commiserating), even if it's how they each come to their ideas about menus. In Honeydew, Luca tells Marcus that he experiences life and that's a part of what makes him a better chef. Sydney already does this. We see in Sundae how Syd gets inspiration for dishes, as well as her getting ideas in dreams (shortrib and risotto). Carmy is by the book, but I think he likes the way Syd thinks. That man would have never put chips on Nat's omelette! But I think Syd craves his wealth of knowledge and experience and ability to edit himself. We see in an episode where she realizes she's doing too much to a dish with Tina. Carmy helps her by hearing the ingredients and giving advice; I love Tina and everybody else, but only Carmy can provide that for her. They really do compliment each other, and learn about each other through their cooking.

"I fe- sorry, I feel like I should have known that, or, or- something--"

Makes sense that Carmy was mistaken! I think he's gotten to know aspects of Syd over a short period of time and in this scene he's maybe noticing that Syd holds things close to her chest. Omission plays a big role in her psyche. He can't just assume that she's okay or that she's an open book, because she's not.

Like mentioned above, I think Carmy is learning a lot about Syd through their menu creating. He's listening to her stories and anectdotes, laughing at her humor and learning about what she values through the food she creates. They have such symmetry through food, he assumed (incorrectly) that he knew more about her than he did. Because Syd is bringing back his love of food and the two of them really do communicate their desires through food. Syd loves taking care of people. But so does Carmy! They both don't want to use tweezers on food they don't care about. They want to use tweezers to show how much they love people lol

I love his stuttering in this gif because this man lost the plot and thought he could substitute communicating through food with actual communication. Example: Bro really was confused when Syd wasn't happy about the wall being torn down. By his logic, he tore the wall down for her, like he's working on the menu for her, so what's the big deal? (Someone save this man.) He's very action oriented, so it flew right by him that making a menu with Claire for Syd wasn't it, because he thought doing this action was what she wanted--like he said in that particular scene. But Syd wants communication and hands-on training (😏😏😏), because they're doing this together and if he just wants to put a menu together without her, she can just go somewhere else and make bullshit no-love tweezer dishes. They're supposed to be doing this for the love of food, not to just make money.

And even though they talk to each other via food, it doesn't make up for the other way they can and should communicate: straight up talking.

But The Table ™️ scene shows, in my opinion, that he's learning that. "Say more, please."

Anyway! I love this gifset melonatures. Sorry if this broke any Tumblr edicate. I loved your gifset. Thanks for making it! ❤️

#sydcarmy #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #syd x carmy

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lilahisntsadanymore · 2 years

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Neil has a crush on a girl he's in the play with, but unfortunately she has a crush on his best friend. One night in the cave changes it all.

The reader pronouns: she/her

Pairings: Charlie Dalton x reader, Neil Perry x reader

Words count: 2.6k

Warnings: not proofread, Charlie acted mean

Gif not mine

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

He'll be alright

"Who's that girl Dalton has been sneaking out with recently?" Richard asked, looking out of the window.

The boys were gathered in his and Charlie's room, doing homework. Well, they were supposed to be doing homework, but the books were abandoned after a few minutes when the boys started discussing the topic of Charlie Dalton. For the past few days he was seen walking away into the forest with a mysterious girl.

Charlie was just coming back from wherever he went with Y/n. Through the window, his friends could see him getting a quick peck on the cheek from Y/n, then the girl walked in the direction she came from and Charlie walked into the school's building.

What the boys couldn't see was Charlie stopping at the doors and turning around to catch a glimpse of Y/n walking away. The girl turned around as well and sent Charlie a smile. He weaved at her, but the girl didn't weave back, not wanting to catch unnecessary attention.

They weren't that noticable, actually they were pretty sneaky, but because of Richard's nosy personality, the little group of aspiring dead poets knew about them. Most of them would always say "don't act like it wasn't expected" or "it's not our business anyway" everytime Richard repeats the question, but eventually Neil spoke up about it.

"It's Y/n, she goes to Henley Hall," he sighed.

Neil wasn't very pleased about Charlie having interest in Y/n. Before Charlie met the girl, Neil thought of asking her out himself. The boys have been friends since childhood, which meant they were like brothers and as 'brothers' they had similar taste in women.

"Henley Hall?" A loud scoff escaped Cameron's mouth. "How did Dalton meet a girl from Henley Hall?"

"She plays Helena in Midsummer Night's Dream. Once Charlie came to watch our rehearsal and afterwards he introduced himself to her." Neil explained, not mentioning the fact that Charlie interrupted Neil's attempt to ask Y/n on a date.

"And now she willingly hangs out with him? How does Henley Hall allow that?"

"Henley Hall doesn't know about it," Charlie explained as he walked inside the room, "it's not their business anyway."

He walked into the room suddenly, in a quick pace. It was really fortunate that nobody stood by the door, because it would really hurt to get accidentally hit with it. Todd looked the most surprised and quite nervous, almost guilty for being there, although he didn't even care about Charlie's affair. He genuinely just came there to do homework and hoped that now that Charlie's back, everyone will get back to homework.

"Is she your girlfriend yet?" Knox asked, chuckling. The other boys' laughter sounded through the room like an echo.

Neil laughed along, pretending to not be bothered by Charlie liking the girl he liked as well. He told himself to pretend, as if it was just another role. Neil was a natural actor, so he could act the role of a guy who totally doesn't like the girl his best friend likes.

Charlie sat down on his bed and with a playful smile answered the question, "it's not that serious."

"What do you mean?" Neil's voice sounded almost offended. "What don't you like about Y/n?"

"It's just...we don't get to talk to many girls, do we? I mean, I wanna see different options, you know?"

Meeks, who was sitting next to Charlie, decided to chime in. "Well, dating doesn't necessarily mean you'll have to marry her."

"She's a girl, you know how girls are. Or maybe rather you don't, but I know that they take relationships very seriously."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"As I've just said, I wanna try out different options," with laughter, Charlie lightly nudged Meeks' side.

It felt ticklish, so Meeks tried to nudge Charlie away, which quickly turned into a bit of pushing and shoving each other. Others began to laugh, nobody seemed to care about homework anymore, not even Todd.

Besides one person.

"Let me remind you, we gathered here to do homework." Cameron reminded everyone.

"Let me remind you," Pitts mimicked him, "it was you who got invested in Charlie's love life."

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Even though Charlie kept insisting that whatever was between him and Y/n wasn't serious, the rest of dead poets wanted to meet her. And besides being his love interest, she also was Neil's friend, wasn't she?

So on the next day Pitts and Meeks convinced Charlie to tell Y/n about the Society. He phoned her, she seemed to be interested in becoming a part of it. On the next meeting the Dead Poets Society welcomed a new member - Y/n Y/l/n.

The girl enjoyed her first meeting, she loved the atmosphere of the cave, she loved the feeling growing inside of her when she listened to other members reading poetry. It felt so amazing, even magical.

Y/n felt as if she knew the boys for her whole life, she belonged among them and vice versa. The boys took a liking to Y/n quickly, she was like a missing puzzle in the Society.

"You're like an honorary member of the Dead Poets Society," Neil initiated a conversation with Y/n when the poets were exiting the cave, "the first girl in the Society's history. And you're not even a Welton student."

If it wasn't so dark, Neil would see a warm smile that formed on Y/n's face.

"I will want to attend the next meetings in the future. It's amazing that there are people who care about poetry and art. That moist cave really feels like home."

Both Y/n and Neil chuckled quietly. It was late autumn, but neither of them felt cold. Besides their jackets keeping them warm, there was a warm feeling the both of them felt coming from the inside.

"Whose idea was it?" Y/n continued. "You do seem like a person who could come up with it."

"Actually, the Dead Poets Society was founded by our current English teacher, back when he was a Welton student himself. But it was my idea to renew the Society."

Suddently Y/n flinched, scared by Charlie's arm unexpectedly appearing around her shoulders.

Luckily thanks to the darkness, nobody could see how quick the smile vanished from Neil's face.

"How did you like it?" The boy asked. "What did you think of my poem? I wrote it just for you."

"I figured, it was lovely. I'll bring my own piece for the next meeting too. I'm so glad you told me about the Society!"

"Do you need help with sneaking back into Henley Hall?"

"No, actually I bribed the security. There will be no problem."

"Aren't you scared? It's dark and you've got a long way to go. Maybe I could walk you back?"

"Thank you, Charlie, but I'll be okay, I have a bike. Left it just by the entrance to the forest, in some bushes."

Y/n was really pleased with the first Dead Poets Society meeting she attended. She wrote lots of poems for the next meetings, but also enjoyed reading out loud her favorite poems by famous writers.

Being the only girl in the Society wasn't a problem to Y/n and the boys weren't bothered by it either. They were actually happy about that and always made sure Y/n doesn't feel unwanted or misfitted.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Everything was going well, only one day a problem occurred. The meeting of the Society had to start earlier than usually, because later on Y/n and Neil had a rehearsal.

It wasn't even dark outside yet. The sky way grey, but the sky wasn't even visible from inside the cave. The cave needed a fire, because there was no way for light to get inside, not even through the hole people went in.

"Ugh, I wish the fire was bigger," Y/n complained, rubbing her hands above the flame. It was a cold day.

"There wasn't anymore wood." Pitts explained. He moved some branches around, hoping for the fire to grow.

"What do you mean? We're in a forest. We're surrounded by wood."

"It rained yesterday, there was barely any dry wood."

"Can we start already?" Cameron was the next person to complain. "It's really cold here."

"We can't," Neil said, "we're waiting for Charlie."

If Charlie was there, he would have told Richard that no one asked him to come. But where was Charlie? Nobody knew.

"As we're waiting, I'll go and try to find some dry wood," Y/n stood up and walked out of the cave.

Everything on the ground seemed to be soaked by the recent rain. Y/n decided to steal a few branches from the trees, because they seemed to be a bit dried off.

Just as Y/n was about to go back to the cave, she noticed Charlie. To her surprise, he wasn't alone. It wasn't a good kind of surprise. He walked with two girls at his sides, having his arms around their shoulders.

"Hey, Y/n!" Charlie exclaimed. "Girls, this is Y/n, she was the first girl in our Society."

"Hi." Y/n murmured. She was certainly not happy with Charlie bringing here two other girls.

They didn't answer, they didn't even say anything. Each one of them eyed Y/n, which didn't feel nice. It made Y/n feel uncomfortable. She knew it's not gonna be a nice spent time.

The three girls and Charlie entered the cave. The new girls sat next to him, each one at his each side. Y/n frowned. She used to sit next to Charlie ever since she joined the Society.

Y/n didn't want to let others know she's upset, even if the boys seemed equally surprised. She tried to keep her voice as steady as possible and as harmonic as usual.

"I got some branches, should make the fire a bit bigger," she announced, throwing the branches into the flame.

Y/n gave a look to Neil, sitting next to him. He understood her without words, he wasn't happy with Charlie bringing two more girls as well. And he decided to speak up about it.

"Who's that?"

"That's Gloria," Charlie gestured to the blonde girl, "and that's..." he gestured to the brunette, but struggled to remember her name.

"Tina." The girl introduced herself.

"Yes, that's Tina."

There was some small conversation between the poets and the new girls, but Y/n didn't even pay attention to the words. She kept eyeing them and Charlie, not understanding what happened. Charlie was acting as if Y/n done something to him, as if he lost interest in her.

During the whole meeting Y/n wasn't herself and all the boys besides Charlie seemed to notice that. She felt like crying when he read a romantic poem and said he wrote it for Gloria. Then Charlie read another poem, not as romantic, but clearly targeted at a girl, and announced it was for Tina.

What hurt Y/n the most was the fact that she really thought things between her and Charlie are fine. She didn't love him, of course, but she felt attached, she liked him romantically and thought he feels the same about her. Why did he suddenly start ditching her? What did these girls have that Y/n didn't? What was wrong with her?

Y/n had enough, she couldn't stand another minute in that cave with these girls. She looked at her watch and pretended to be surprised at how fast the time had gone, although this meeting felt like an eternity.

"It's so late!" She exclaimed theatrically. "I don't wanna be late to the rehearsal, I'd better go."

The boys' eyes followed Y/n as she almost ran out of the cave. Nobody even managed to say anything.

Neil decided to follow Y/n. Before walking outside, he told others he's also going to the rehearsal, which wasn't really a lie as everyone knew. It was all just awkward.

"Y/n, wait! Wait for me, I wanna talk!" Neil called out.

Y/n was running, Neil's voice made her stop in her tracks. She didn't turn around, but the boy knew she was crying, because he noticed the unusual way her shoulders were quickly raising up and coming down.

Neil jogged up to Y/n and stood next to her. He could see the side of her face as she was looking forward. The girl definitely was crying.

Suddenly, Y/n turned her head to the side in the order to look at Neil. Tears were slowly rolling down her cheeks, the whites in her eyes now had a pink shade.

"Why did he do that?" A question left her mouth, her mouth that were a bit wet from those tears that instead of falling on the ground, found a way into the girl's mouth. "Am I not enough?"

She felt truly bad about herself. She was afraid those girls might be more interesting, prettier, funnier, just better than her. There must have been a factor that made Charlie choose them over her. It hurt so much to be just an option.

"You're more than enough, Y/n." Neil assured. "You're the sweetest girl I've ever met and if I were Charlie-"

He didn't manage to finish the sentence, when Y/n snapped at him aggressively.

"But you're not Charlie." Y/n paused. When she noticed how aggressively she's talking to Neil without a reason, she changed the tone of her voice. "You're Neil, you're kind and charming and you care about everyone and you're not as reckless as Charlie."

"See, I think you answered your own question right here. Why did he do that? Simply because he's reckless. That's Charlie."

"So there's nothing wrong with me?"

When Y/n looked Neil deeply in his eyes, she wasn't crying anymore. There were still signs of crying, but the tears had dried, the girl was calm.

"Nothing at all," Neil smiled lightly at her, "you're perfect the way you are."

That comment made Y/n blush and as a way of trying to hide it, the girl looked down at her shoes. Neil chuckled at that action and put his hand lightly on Y/n's jawline to make her look back at him.

"I've liked you ever since I met you," he confessed, "I was planning on asking you out before Charlie interrupted us, the day you met him."

Y/n was speechless because of Neil's confession. He was standing really close, there was barely any space between them. Instead of talking, Y/n let Neil kiss her. Y/n's lips tasted a bit salty from the dried tears, but it didn't bother Neil.

It was neither a long nor short kiss, it was just perfectly timed. A calm, not hungry kiss, so different from kisses Y/n received from Charlie. Charlie always kissed as if the world was going to end, he did it rapidly and often rough, it felt as if he was in a rush. Neil on the other hand kissed as if he knew the world was ending, but he didn't care about it. The world could be ending, but he was calm, because he was with the person he adored. He was dominating, his lips were telling Y/n's lips what to do, but not in a rough way.

"What will Charlie say when he finds out?" Y/n asked when she and Neil parted from each other.

"Love, I think he'll be alright," Neil chuckled, "he's Charlie, he's always alright."

Not waiting for Y/n to say anything more, Neil pecked the girl's lips once again, but this time it was quick.

"Come on, let's go now," he grabbed her hand, "don't wanna be late to the rehearsal, do we?"

#Dead Poets Society #Dead Poets Society x reader #Neil Perry #Charlie Dalton #Neil Perry x reader #Charlie Dalton x Reader #Neil Perry one shot #Charlie Dalton one shot #Dead Poets Society one shot #Dead Poets Society imagine #dps fanfic #dps imagine #dps fandom #dps x reader #neil perry imagine #charlie dalton imagine

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medusapelagia · 3 months

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Harringrove - The Book

This is the third chapter of the @harringrovestorychallenge

1st Chapter by @harringrovestorychallenge

2nd Chapter by @lorifragolina

(coming soon 4th Chapter by @mymisfitsbabe)

CHAPTER 3

TW: blood, mention of domestic violence

“Let’s get inside.” Steve said, dragging Billy inside. Their clothes were dripping on the floor while Billy was shivering in Steve’s hold.

The rich boy had so many questions, but the most urgent was “Are you hurt?”

Billy stared at him, confused, then he lowered his eyes and saw that he was covered in blood. “Not mine.” He replied, still shaking. “There was… there was something. In the woods.” He murmured, while Steve gently guided him toward the big shower in his ensuite bathroom and opened the hot water before getting under the shower with him. The water rapidly turned to a shade of dark pink that slowly faded while Steve kept washing Billy under the warm embrace of the water.

"Do you want to strip? You can borrow something of mine." He asked, not wanting to push the blond-haired boy.

Billy nodded but he didn't move, so Steve stripped him gently, leaving him with a pair of black boxers and a pair of wet socks stained with traces of blood; when he felt that the boy was warm enough, he turned off the shower and dried him with some fluffy towel, always whispering praising in his ears, then he guided Billy back to his room and gave him a sweater and a pair of joggers.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asked, studying his face with attention.

The boy nodded but he remained silent, and Steve didn't know what to do: he didn't want to push but Billy was covered in blood when he got to his place, and he talked about the woods...

"Can you tell me what happened?"

The blond haired boy snorted, finally looking like himself for the first time since he got to Steve's house. "You won't believe me."

"Try me." Steve replied with a stern tone and Billy turned toward him, studying him for a long moment before looking away.

"I got home the other night; Neil was angry because I was late, but I wasn't! I mean, he told me to get home before midnight and I did and he was screaming, trying to get to me, but I was still close to the door, and I knew I had your bat in the trunk, but he is still my father so I... I got in the car, and I drove to the quarry. I thought I could sleep there, in my car, and come back in the morning. Sometimes I do that, you know? I sleep in the car and come back in the early morning after he leaves for work, but tonight... Tonight there was something that was watching me, I swear to god! I felt his eyes on me! I thought it was Hagan or some other guy from school doing a stupid prank, so I got the bat, I just wanted to scare them but... it wasn't a boy or an animal! It was..."

"A monster." Steve concluded for him, and Billy turned toward him so quickly that his neck cracked.

"How do you know?"

"Why do you think I have a nailed bat, uh? Not for playing baseball." Steve replies, taking Billy's hand in his. "There are monsters in Hawkins." He tried to explain, "They come from a parallel dimension or something like that."

Billy pinched his nose. "Great. So now I must pay attention to my dad and to those fucking monsters. Absolutely great!" He complained, then he turned toward Steve. "But if they are real... if they didn't come from my imagination, we must warn everyone!"

Steve shook his head. "Can't. The government is keeping an eye on everyone who knows something and if they find out that we talked with anyone I'm sure it will not be pleasurable." Steve insisted but Billy was not going to listen to any of this.

"You don't get it, Steve! If I hadn't had the bat with me, I would be fucking dead!"

"Do you think I don't know?!" Steve yelled, standing up abruptly. "A girl died in my fucking pool last year because one of those monsters got her! Ok? And Nancy and Jon barely survived because I was there! Do you think it’s easy living knowing that a girl died and I was right here and I didn't do anything? Do you think it's easy going to dinner at the Holland's with Nancy? Because it's fucking not! But I do what I must do: I pretend! I pretend that everything is fine, I pretend that what happened didn't affect me, and that I'm a normal teenager attending high school, like getting up and going to school wasn't the hardest thing I have ever done! And I keep an eye on the people I care about! Nance, the kids, you."

"What about the others, Harrington? What about the ones that are not under your protection, huh?"

"I can't save everyone, Billy, I have come to terms with it."

"And that's all? Who do you think you are? God? You can't choose who lives and who dies!"

"I'm no god, Billy! And that's exactly why I can't save everyone! But now you know too, so there will be two of us keeping an eye on those... things." He replied, offering Billy his hand, "I swear this was not a burden I wanted to share with anyone, especially with you, but maybe we can help each other. What do you say?"

Billy glared at Steve, ready to lash out against him, but then he thought about a curious red-haired girl who was very good at getting in trouble and shook Steve's hand. "I'll keep my eyes open, and you will keep an eye on my shitbird." He told him, staring at him with his ice-blue eyes.

"Who?!"

#billy hargrove #harringrove story challenge #steve harrington #billy x steve #Billy Hargrove #Steve Harrington #Harringrove #Billy x Steve #Stranger Things Fanfiction #Harringrove fic #medusapelagia fanfic #medusapelagia #my fanfic

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tartanfran · 6 months

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In my opinion, Aziraphale didn't organize the dance for Nina and Maggie.

Ok, we all know Aziraphale cares enormously about people, but let's look at it this way: Why would he throw a dance for two strangers? Okay, he’s known Maggie for a few years, and she owes him rent, BUT he wouldn't go that far just to make Nina fall in love with Maggie. Now you're going to say, "Okay, but sorry, isn't Muriel investigating on them? To see if Aziraphale's miracle worked?" And I say, WELL, Muriel doesn't seem to be looking into this anymore now… So I think Aziraphale planned the ball ESPECIALLY for himself and Crowley. We know Aziraphale is in love with Crowley. It's obvious. (Skip the ending, possible religious trauma or coffee theory but SHHH)

Crowley thought he could make Nina and Maggie fall in love with a downpour, didn't he? Why exactly a downpour? and why was he so sure of it? Well, maybe because in season 1, Aziraphale protected him from the rain with his wing?? And so Crowley can only rely on that experience?? He was also VERY sure about his plan… But let's get back to Aziraphale. A ball. You saw the face he made before asking Crowley to dance with him, right? He was so worked up… And then he said, "it always works", so he was hoping it would work between the two of them too, not just between Nina and Maggie.

And then you remember how Angels and Demons dance, right? Gavotte…?? Angels and Demons DO NOT DANCE. They themselves cannot dance. But Aziraphale cared so much because he hoped it would happen like in the novels he had read.

Then let me talk about the kiss for a moment. It wasn't a kiss from Crowley that said, "Here, with this, you know that I love you.” But it conveyed a very different message, it being "Please don't leave.". It was his last chance to persuade him to stay… Seeing that mentioning the bookshop didn't work much (“you can't leave this bookshop” ---> “You care so much about your bookshop… Maybe if I mention it you will change your mind and listen to me…”) in short: both feel something for each other. They just don’t know how to have a real conversation.

But I'm sure, indeed, very sure, that this second season was a prelude to the third. It is not yet known if Amazon will renew the contract, I honestly hope so, because even if Neil has said that he will give us a continuation, one way or another, I would really like to see Michael and David back on stage… I am not complaining if it's going to be a book, I enjoy reading, but imagine Michael and David, on stage, with their wonderful performances. They are two spectacular actors, think about how nice it would be to see them say things like "I forgive you.” (Crowley), “I’m sorry, I wasn’t myself…” (Aziraphale), and imagine seeing them hug??? Maybe kiss again??? I don't mind the idea of a book, but I love the moment when a book comes to life, when you can stop imagining and see for yourself what the various characters are up to.

I really hope Amazon renews the contract… we seem to have a lot of things in our favor at the moment.

Well, I've talked too much, but I already know that I would go on forever. I absolutely love good Omens, and I am very proud to be such a dedicated fan.

#good omens #good omens episode 6 #good omens s2 #good omens season two #good omens theory #ineffable husbands #good omens thoughts #neil gaiman #ineffable #ineffable idiots #good omens season one

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cassandralie · 8 months

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Question: if the Book of Life can erase someone so that they never existed in the first place, how would anyone know that this happened?

Nobody would remember the erased person, and therefore wouldn't know that person had been erased.

If someone has the Book of Life, how could they prove that erasing someone is a true threat and not a bluff? Because if they carry out the threat, then the person they erased never existed and no one can remember them.

They cannot erase someone to set an example and scare others because the others will not remember the person being erased.

As an angel, Crowley didn't take the Book of Life seriously. He used it as a joke to scare the Cherubs.

Millennia later, Beelzebub and Michael both view the Book of Life as a real and serious threat.

So what happened?

The Book of Life obviously wasn't an option when Holy Water and Hellfire failed to kill Crowley and Aziraphale, or else Heaven and Hell would have used it when Holy Water and Hellfire failed to kill Crowley and Aziraphale.

So whatever happened must have happened recently, long after the trails and when destroying Aziraphale and Crowley was no longer a priority because Heaven and Hell had moved on to bigger things, the Second Coming.

Something to make Michael and Beelzebub believe in the power of the Book of Life to erase someone from ever existing.

Something to make Michael believe the Supreme Archangel (Duty Officer) has authorization to use it.

but authorization from who?

Not God, as Neil said in an ask that God doesn't talk to anyone and does not affect the plots of S1&S2.

Not the Metatron, because the Metatron says Michael doesn't have the authority to use the Book of Life to erase Aziraphale.

So who gave Michael authorization to use it? Well, some biblical sources state Jesus holds the Book of Life.

Jesus having returned to Heaven between seasons would explain why the Book of Life was suddenly available in S2 after not being mentioned in S1. And explain why the Archangels and the Metatron were now working on bringing about Second Coming.

Jesus having already returned would also allow for the scene where Jesus descends to earth on an airplane, accompanied by angels with secret service earpeices.

And Jesus, as the Son of God, would be someone an Archangel would trust to give authorization to use the Book of Life. And whose word an Archangel would trust if he said that the Book of Life can truly erase people from ever existing. (That wouldn't necessarily explain why Beelzebub would believe it, unless Jesus appeared to them as well.)

Could the Metatron have said Michael didn't have authorization to use the Book of Life because only Jesus and God are allowed to?

Could there be at least one person immune to the Book of Life? Perhaps Saraqael who recognized Crowley and Metatron, and might be able to recall people who were erased when no one else can? Thereby providing confirmation that the Book of Life did erase someone.

When the name 'Saraqael' is conflated with 'Zerachiel' rather than Sariel, then it means "God Has Remembered"

This is less of a theory and more of a series of questions. Does any one have any ideas?

#good omens #renew good omens #give me season 3 or give me death #go s2 #gos2 #go2 #cassandraquestions

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foundtherightwords · 1 year

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The Quiet Chaos - Chapter 3

Pairing: Billy Knight (Lethal White/Strike) x OFC

Summary: After a bad breakup throws her carefully-planned life into disarray, Esme has sworn off dating forever. However, when she forms an unexpected connection with a young man named Billy, who's dealing with his own struggles, Esme is forced to face the truth: sometimes you can't plan for love.

Warnings: mental health issues, angst, slow-burn, developing relationship, dysfunctional family, some violence (non-graphic), some smut

Chapter warnings: more stalkerish/manipulative ex

Chapter word count: 4.3k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Chapter 3 - "T'aint what a horse looks like. It is what a horse be"

After the night Esme blocked Neil on her phone, Billy became more relaxed around her. Esme wasn't sure if it was simply because he had gotten used to her, or because he had seen her cry and therefore had softened towards her, but he started talking to her more openly, telling her more about himself, and even mentioning his childhood a little, though still not much about his family. One night, he came in as usual and found her with her nose buried in A Hat Full of Sky.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"It's that book I told you about, with the White Horse—" Esme said, then remembered. "Sorry."

"No, 's alright, you don't have to—I don't mind talking about the Horse," Billy said. He added, rather stiffly, "My therapist told me I should talk about these things more. So I won't be so afraid of them." Esme noticed his fingers twitching slightly, but he didn't lift them to his nose and chest. "D'you know it grants wishes, the Horse? If you stand on the eye, turn three times, and make a wish, it'll come true."

"I haven't heard that," Esme said, happy that he seemed to be in a chatty mood. "Did you ever go up there to make a wish, when you were a kid?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice muted, his eyes elsewhere again. "I wished I were dead, so I could be with my mum."

Esme's heart pinched. She didn't know what to say. What could you say to something like that? Then Billy seemed to rally, pulled himself back to reality, and the cloud lifted. "'s funny, that Horse," he continued. "Didn't look like a horse. More like a dragon. It's on Dragon Hill too. I've always wondered, why'd they call it a horse?"

"'T'aint what a horse looked like. It is what a horse be,'" quoted Esme. Billy glanced at her quizzically. She tapped the book.

"You like those books a lot, don't you?" he asked.

Heat rose to Esme's cheeks. "Well, when your parents named you after one of the major characters, there are only two choices: either you end up hating the books with the fire of a thousand suns, or you love them," she said ruefully. "And I couldn't hate them! They're really good."

Billy looked at the book with a wistful eye. "I don't read much. Wish I could, but I can't concentrate."

Sympathy surged inside Esme. Reading was such an integral part of her life that she couldn't imagine what it would be like if she couldn't read. "Would you like me to read to you?" she asked. "I often read these to my brother and sisters, when they were younger."

Billy seemed taken aback, and Esme realized she was being too forward. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I don't know why I offered. I don't know how you feel about fantasy, and it's not the first book either, so it may be difficult to follow, but if you want—and you're not doing anything else—" She was rambling again. She had made it a point not to talk about her hobby with any of her co-workers or her exes, afraid they would laugh at her for it, a woman nearing thirty still obsessed with a series of fantasy novels. But somehow, with Billy, her enthusiasm kept slipping out. Perhaps it was because she felt certain he wouldn't judge her.

"I'm not doing anything," Billy said. "And I've never read any fantasy, so I don't know. We could certainly give it a try."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

That was certainly a much more eager response than she got from Neil, who had given her a mocking laugh when she tried to get him to read them. In hindsight, she should've seen that as the gigantic red flag it truly was. Fuck Neil, she thought darkly and picked up the book.

She read him the entire first chapter that night. Occasionally, she would lift her head from the book and watch Billy, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, one hand absently scratching the puppies behind their ears, the other cradling his chin, his head tilted to one side. He seemed to be enjoying himself, and more than that, he was taking in the story—he laughed at the right places, asked all the right questions, and when she got to the quote about the Horse, his lips quirked up in a knowing grin.

What was it about Billy, she wondered, that made her so comfortable around him? He was clearly troubled, even if his trouble, whatever it was, only showed through in brief glimpses, like the whirlpools in an otherwise tranquil brook. But that didn't bother her. If anything, it made him a lot less intimidating than the confident, alpha male type that often approached her, drawn by her meekness. And the animals like him, not just the dogs, but the other pets that stayed at the clinic too. And he liked them. That was always a big indication of a good person.

Suddenly she realized she was considering him romantically, and sternly told herself to stop. He might not be interested. More importantly, she didn't want a relationship, not now, not ever, not again. Not when she was still smarting from her breakup with Neil. And certainly, not with a strange man struggling with things she didn't know and didn't understand, no matter how good he was with animals or how cute he was. He was cute though, in a rumpled, just-woken-up kind of way...

Her voice trailed off as she became lost in her thoughts, and Billy looked up. Esme quickly returned her attention to the book and fumbled to find her place again. She sneaked another look at Billy. His eyes were still on her, but rather than concentrating on her reading, he appeared to be looking at her, with a soft gaze that sent a blush to her cheeks. As their eyes met, he blushed as well, and looked away.

It was only when one of the puppies yawned loudly that Esme remembered how late it was. She finished the chapter and reluctantly put the book down. "If you like it, maybe you could try the audiobook version," she said, as Billy was leaving.

"Yeah," he replied. "But I think I prefer it when you read to me." Then he blushed again and ducked out of the door. Esme watched him disappear into the night, while trying hard to ignore the fluttery feeling in her chest.

***

There was one thing she could no longer ignore, though, and that was the matter of Angua and her puppies. Angua's leg had mostly healed, the puppies had started their weaning, and now Peter was getting on Esme's back again about how this was not a rescue center and how she must find a foster home for them. She kept trying to put it off, but she knew it couldn't be forever. She didn't want to admit that she'd gotten attached to them. Perhaps she could adopt one... She had always resisted the urge to get a pet. She told herself she interacted with them enough at work, and her pet might get jealous if she came home smelling of other animals, but the truth was that she was afraid of ending up as one of those old ladies with a house full of cats and dogs. That wasn't how her life was supposed to turn out. She was supposed to get married back in June, and honeymoon in Barbados, and settle into a house somewhere in West London. It was a basic and boring future, yes, but it was also safe and secure. But seven months ago, an accidental scroll through Neil's phone had brought that careful, perfect plan crashing down. She was only thankful that she'd discovered his infidelity before she put down any deposit for the wedding.

That didn't change the fact that becoming a crazy cat (or dog) lady was now a distinct possibility in her future...

But it's just one puppy! And they all need a good home!

Yeah, it always starts with just one, and then, before you know it, you're knitting a sweater out of dog hair...

Finally, unable to delay the inevitable any longer, she made a call to her friend Priya, who ran the local rescue center. Priya didn't sound very keen at first. "A mum and five pups?" she said hesitantly. "And the mum has a broken leg, you say?"

"Almost healed. I could keep them here until she's fully healed." That meant she got to keep them for another week, at least.

"I'd love to help, but we're pretty full up at the moment..."

"Please, Priya. It won't be long. They'll find homes in no time, I'm sure."

"Have you tried other centers? I can recommend one."

"Not that I don't trust your recommendation, but I'd be much happier knowing they're in your hands," Esme said, resorting to flattery. When Priya still hummed and hawed, Esme gritted her teeth and brought out her trump card. "If you take them, I'll get my mum to sign the latest Emerald book for Anjali." Anjali was Priya's little daughter.

As predicted, Priya jumped at that. "Oh, can you? She'll be thrilled to bits!"

"Of course." Esme hated using her mum's works as bribes, but needs must. Besides, Mum always sent Esme a box of her books (pre-signed, of course) anyway, so it was no trouble at all. Priya just didn't need to know that.

"Well, I guess we could make room for them. Hey, maybe your mum could write a book about this. Emerald Saves the Puppies! If she does, do you reckon she could put me in—"

"Gotta go. Cheers, Priya." Esme hung up, not wanting to hear the rest of Priya's prattle about book ideas. Why do people always do that? Don't they know that writers hate other people giving them ideas? Except for Mum. She'd love that. But Esme's days of giving her mum ideas for her books were over, a long time ago.

Her mind returned to more pressing matters—the dogs and how she was going to bear the parting from them.

She also wondered how she was going to tell Billy.

When the time finally came for Angua and her pups to leave the clinic, Esme made sure to sign up for the night shift. She waited until Billy arrived and asked for his help to remove Angua's cast and take one last X-ray, to make sure everything was healed. There was no need to sedate Angua, but the dog was always calmer in Billy's presence. Esme moved slowly, cutting away at the cast and pulling it down with more care than usual. Billy, keeping a close watch, made a fretful sound upon seeing the withered leg, but Esme assured him it was fine. "After all, she hasn't used that leg in six weeks," she said. "She'll be back on it in no time."

Stop stalling. Just tell him!

Esme took a breath, but before she could say anything, Billy turned to her. "Do you mind if we do some reading tonight?" he said. "I got the audiobook like you said, but you explain things while you read, and I can't do that with the audiobook."

It was the opening she needed. "Actually, maybe we could spend more time with the dogs tonight," she said. "They're going to the rescue center tomorrow."

His face fell, and for a moment, he looked so distressed that Esme almost reached out to give him a hug. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you could visit them at the center too," she said. "At least until they're adopted."

He turned away, fiddling with his hands, and turned to her again, with that soft, almost imploring look back in his eyes. "But..." he mumbled. Then he said in a rush, "But then I won't have any reason to visit you."

His voice was quiet, but it still hit Esme like a ton of bricks. It was not just because he had expressed an interest in her. It was also because she realized she felt the same way. Suddenly it became clear why she tried to keep the dogs around for as long as she could. Why she volunteered for most of the night shifts in the last month. Why she brought extra food to work. Why she kept her copy of A Hat Full of Sky at the clinic, in case he wanted her to read to him again. Why she took her time removing the cast.

She tried to remind herself that she didn't want this, that any relationship right now would just be rebound, that it wouldn't be fair to Billy, but all of her resolve disappeared when she was facing those big, brown, puppy-dog eyes. Maybe she could give it another try. Maybe they could take it slow. Or maybe it didn't have to be anything more than just the two of them spending time together, without taking it any further. That would be nice too.

"We can still see each other, you know," she said, her voice coming out more breathless than she'd expected. "I volunteer as a dog walker at the rescue center on weekends. You can join me. That way you can see both the pups and—and—me."

Billy's face broke into a smile, slowly, uncertainly, but this time, it remained, instead of flitting away like a frightened animal. "I'd like that," he said.

"Great! Why don't you give me your number, then I could text you the detail?"

When Billy pulled out his brick of a phone, Esme couldn't stifle a laugh. "I don't know people still use these!"

"It's simpler. I only need it for calling and texting," he said. "And it can't be traced," he added. Esme made no comment on that, but as she put her own number into his phone, she wondered, with a slight prickling sensation in her belly and a whisper of concern at the back of her mind, what she was getting herself into. But he was still smiling at her, a timid, amazed smile as if he couldn't quite believe his luck, showing the dimples she'd never seen before, and she felt that flutter in her heart again, drowning out her worry.

***

And so Esme told herself that they were not really dating, but not not dating either. Certainly their outings could hardly be called dates, not romantic ones at least. There was nothing romantic about being pulled along the curb by a dozen of rambunctious dogs or getting splashed by water and soap while bathing them. If they decided to get a takeaway afterward, it was usually with the other volunteers as well. In fact, their nights at the clinic were more intimate, as far as such things could be judged.

At least Billy didn't seem to mind. He happily went along with whatever Esme suggested, even if it was just dog walking and a Chinese after. When she asked if he wanted to do something else, he shrugged and said it was fine. She wondered if she was coming off too overbearing. That had always been a problem with Neil. Whenever she asked him to do things a certain way, Neil would tell her to stop being so bossy. He would tease her about it at first. Don't tell me what to do, I'm not one of your younger siblings. Then he'd started complaining. Christ, Esme, would it kill you to let me do things my way for once? And finally it had become accusing. Stop trying to make me into something I'm not! You're suffocating me! That's why I have to get out! That had been the end of their relationship.

But this isn't a relationship, remember? Just two people, having fun together. And Billy did seem to have fun. He remained a little shy, especially around the other volunteers, but every time they saw each other, he seemed to smile more and move with more ease, and that, in turn, eased her as well.

The puppies didn't stay at the rescue center for long. Just a few weeks after Esme dropped them off, they were put up for adoption and quickly went to their forever homes. Angua, on the other hand, remained. Esme had hoped that someone may want to adopt both mum and puppy as well, but it seemed there was none. So when Priya told her the last puppy had been picked up, Esme knew the little mum must be terribly lonely. She sent Billy a text.

Angua's last puppy left today. Wanna go cheer her up?

They met outside the rescue center that evening. It was Billy's day off from Asda, and there was still some sawdust in his hair and on his face when he showed up. Without thinking, Esme reached up and brushed it off, then drew her hand back, her face pink. Though Billy was looking slightly surprised but not displeased by her touch, Esme reminded herself that they were not-dating. They hadn't done anything that people on dates usually did, not holding hands, and certainly not kissing. She mustn't presume. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"No, 's alright," he said. That apology-reassurance exchange was becoming something of a refrain between them.

They found poor Angua lying in her kennel with her nose between her paws. She gave a little wag of her tail upon seeing them, but otherwise seemed uninterested in any treat or toy they offered. Even when they opened the kennel, she refused to move, her eyes fixed on the door, watching, waiting for her babies. In the end, they sat down on either side of the kennel, just keeping her company.

"Why don't you adopt her?" Billy asked.

Esme hesitated. "I work too much," she said lamely.

"You can bring her to work with you," he pointed out. "She knows the clinic already. It'll be like coming home to her."

How could she explain her fear to him? Oh, that poor girl, dumped by her fiancé, so she has to get a dog to fill the void in her life...

"Why didn't anyone want her?" Billy asked. "There's nothing wrong with her."

"Sometimes it's just bad luck," Esme replied. But even as she said it, she started to feel a strange affinity with the lonely, unwanted little dog. Angua had so much love to give, yet nobody knew it except for herself and Billy. It was up to them to give her a chance.

"You know what?" Esme said, turning to Billy with determination. "You're absolutely right." And if people felt sorry for her for living alone with a dog, so what? Who cares what other people think? It's an outdated, misogynistic notion anyway.

It took no time at all for Esme to complete the paperwork. Priya all but handed Angua to her right then and there. It was hard to say who was more excited, Esme, Billy, or Angua, as they walked out of the rescue center, Esme holding on to Angua's leash with one hand and finding Billy's hand with the other. "Thank you," she said, giving his hand a squeeze.

"For what?" he asked, confused.

"For talking me into it." And, surprised at herself, she kissed him softly on the cheek.

***

Esme had to work that night, so Billy accompanied her and Angua back to the clinic. "Poor thing. She probably thinks she's going to see her babies," Esme said remorsefully, when Angua's tail started helicoptering at the sight of the familiar building. "Sometimes I wish we could talk to animals, to explain things to them."

However, as they neared the clinic, Angua dropped her tail and a low growl started in the back of her throat. Esme leaned down to her. "What is it, girl?"

"Esme."

She looked up. A man had just stepped out from the pool of shadow next to the front entrance. Her heart missed a beat, then started pounding wildly when he walked into the light and she recognized him. Neil.

She tossed Angua's leash to Billy and strode forward. "What the hell are you doing here?!" she shouted, not caring who might hear.

"You wouldn't return my text. I really want to talk to you."

"How did you even know I'm working tonight?"

"Dianne told me."

Fucking Dianne. Next time I see her, I'll give her a few choice words about sticking her nose into other people's business...

"I have nothing to say to you," she said, trying to go past him. He blocked her way.

"Please, Esme, just five minutes. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten... I can't rest until we talk." She noticed that his hair was not as perfectly coifed as usual, and his jaws, often clean-shaven, were covered by a smattering of stubble. She coldly wondered if he rumpled himself up on purpose before coming here, as a ploy to get her sympathy.

"No, Neil. Not five minutes, not five seconds. We're done."

She pushed past him again. He tried to grab her arm, and she shoved him out of the way. Billy and Angua arrived at her side—she had almost forgotten that they were there. Angua was getting agitated now, her lips curled back to bare her teeth at Neil. "Let her go," Billy said. Esme couldn't see his face, but there was a sharp edge to his voice she hadn't heard before.

"Who the fuck is this?" Neil asked. "What are you doing with him?" He tried to put on a brave front but still stepped back warily.

"None of your business." She wasn't going to let Neil harass Billy as well. Billy took a step forward, but Esme held him back. Neil was not worth getting into trouble over.

Neil's eyes flicked between the two of them, to Esme's hand grasping Billy's tightly, then his nose wrinkled in distaste.

"You're going out with him?" he sneered. "Christ, you've lowered your standards."

Esme wanted to scream at him that he had no say in who she was going out with, but the mockery on his face angered her so much that she couldn't speak for a moment. It was the same look he had when she brought home a new book (How many books do you need?!) or a vintage dress (Why don't you buy something more modern?) or some cute knick-knack she found at a flea market (That looks like something in a nursing home!) She'd be damned if she let him get away with it this time.

"Yeah, I'm going out with him," she said. "And if you're anything to judge by, my standards have actually gone up. Now leave. If I ever see or hear from you again, I'm calling the police."

Neil opened his mouth, looking foolish, and shut it again. With one last glare at Billy, he skulked away. They heard the sound of a car door being slammed, and then Neil's flashy convertible roared down the road.

"You OK?" Billy asked.

Esme realized she was shaking, not from fear, but from anger. She must not let Neil affect her like that again. She tried to smile at Billy. "I'm fine."

"Was he your "

"My ex. Ex-fiancé, actually. The one that called me that night, remember?"

"The cheating bastard?"

She laughed. "Yeah."

Billy looked down the street, where Neil's taillights had disappeared. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

Her heart melted at that. "Thank you, but no. I'll be alright. Neil was a prick, but he's a cowardly prick. He won't come back. And if he does, Angua will defend me, won't you?" She picked the dog up and hugged her to her chest.

Billy nodded and turned to go, but he hesitated and turned back again. "About what you said to him..."

"What did I say?" She was so angry she could hardly remember.

"You said that you're... that we're... going out," he mumbled, avoiding her eyes. "Did you really mean that?"

"Oh." A flush crept over her face. She'd said it mostly to get back at Neil, but she would be lying if she said she hadn't been wondering about that in the past few weeks. She just wasn't sure what Billy thought. "I mean, we are, kind of, right? I know you've never really asked me out or—or—vice versa, and we haven't had an actual date or anything, but we've been hanging out for a while now, and..." Her voice gave out as she realized she didn't know what to say. This was the problem with getting into relationships. She never knew when to do what. Sometimes it felt like she'd missed a universal class on flirting and dating. It was all so terribly embarrassing.

"Please, go on with what you were going to say," he told her.

What was she going to say? Why didn't he just say it and help her out? But Billy was looking at her, his eyes wide with anticipation, and as usual, her composure evaporated in front of his gaze.

"Will you go out with me?" she breathed out.

And there was that smile again—that tentative smile that broke out on his face, slow like a winter sunrise, but also like the sun, it lingered and gave warmth to everything. "Yes," he said simply.

There was an awkward pause as they just stood there, not knowing what to do next. Should she kiss him? No, that would be too much for her in the span of one night. So she just smiled shyly back at him and ducked into the clinic. Then, remembering, she said over her shoulder, "I'll call you," before rushing inside.

Chapter 4

Taglist: @quinnypixie, @accidentalslag, @etherealglimmer

#billy knight #billy knight strike #cb strike #billy knight fic #billy knight x ofc #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn character

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storyofmychoices · 8 months

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Dani Rambles about COPII.... chapter 9

Okay, firstly I know I am literally behind on everything!!! I'm sorry, the past few days have been crazy so I'm trying to get caught up today but needed to read chapter 9 so that I could make prompts for the book club so here we are.

I actually found this to be one of the most interesting chapters in a while. I feel like we got some information and it felt like we could have a moment with Trystan that wasn't physical and we could see their relationship growing, as well as actually focus on the case!

I'm very disappointed the twins didn't have any actual information, that's just such a tease on PB's part, but revealing that information now would be too easy, so I get it. Well played on their cliff hanger.

I loved seeing Trystan bond with Juli's moms. Seeing that relationship mended has meant more than anything else. Seeing Eliose forgive Trystan and literally cheer on Lilah was such a heartfelt and beautiful moment. I loved it! (and also when Trystan said he wasn't good enough for Juli and the moms said he was 🥹😭❤️

(also the more we learn about Juli, the more wonderful I think she was and I kinda love her)

But the scene in Juli's room!!!

Okay so, I have lots of thoughts, they're not really coherent so I apologize.

The letter's were interesting, I really don't think it's Bas, they've literally been pointing fingers at Bas since we got to Drakovia. If it were him that'd be a huge let down. I chose the option that MC says she thought his letter sounded like a friends vacation trip. I thought it was funny to see that Astrid wrote complaining about her siblings, it could just be a quick funny Astrid moment, of course she would be complaining, but Astrid doesn't seem the type to send letters complaining to just anyone... we've never seen her and Juli mentioned as friends (or am I blanking?) so could there be more to them than that? No letters from Vasili though 🤔 (I still think Vasili is Juli's lover and Eveline knew about it)

The nightingale whistle!!!

ugh, so I've been a bit emotion about Nightingales for a couple weeks now, thanks Neil Gaiman and Good Omens. If you don't know, you're better off, the angst is real and my heart can't take waiting 4+ years for season 3.... 💔😭

But I digress,

So Nightingales are interesting birds especially with the symbolism they carry. And even in the chapter they mention star crossed lovers as part of that symbolism which is totally on point so It could just end there, but then I thought of Romeo and Juliet and their conversation about the bird and whether it's a nightingale or a lark.

In the play Juliet (whose name begins with Juli (like Juliana)), she believes the bird is a lark and represents light/morning (and their time together must end), where Romeo says it's a nightingale so it's still night and they have more time together.

Perhaps in COP, Juli is the lark and her mystery lover is the nightingale (who thought wanted more time with her even after night had past)

What that means, I really don't know, but here we are.

Then the shocking(?) twist that there might be another heir... i mean I think a lot of us probably thought that. I mean you have 9 heirs already, what's one more. But the missing heir might be the queen's?

I don't know if we've met them already, of the background characters we met so far, the only 2 I could think of would be Bird (only because his nickname is bird and he was randomly mentioned in this book, when the crime really didn't fit his mo) and the royal assistant (who just seems awkward around the family. I thought she might be Eveline's secret daughter, but maybe the queens?

Or maybe it's someone we haven't met yet.. or maybe one of the Thornes we know isn't really the King's. 🤷‍♀️

Maybe if the Queen has a child older than Trystan, maybe it's why she is so hard on him. She knows he is destined for the crown but not deserving? But also, why wouldn't she have been more supportive of the bill?

Lots of thoughts, I'm sure I'll be back with more. If you made it this far, you totally deserve a gold star!

Oh, and one more thought... if the Queen does have a lover, that would finally explain Patryk lol that boy does not fit in.

Wouldn't it be fun if Trystan weren't the King's how easily that would tie things off! But I don't get why the queen or anyone would want to stop the act then, if passed it would make any of her children (by the king or anyone else) legitimate so she could get Trystan in without worry if the act went through. So many questions. So little information

#choices book club #crimes of passion #trystan thorne #viktoria thorne #queen viktoria #crimes of passion choices #choices cop #dani plays choices #dani rambles

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writer-of-random-things · 8 months

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Whales, Ozone, & the Antichrist

Or, reading Good Omens in a time of near-apocalypse.

First things first, this will contain spoilers for the book. It also probably isn't reflective of what Terry Pratchett and @neil-gaiman had in mind when writing Good Omens. It's just my thoughts on how the book brilliantly addresses climate change, from the perspective of a youth climate activist.

When I first started reading Good Omens, I was expecting a wildly weird and wildly British book about an angel and a demon trying to save the world and hilariously (kind of) failing, and I got exactly that. I loved it. But what I wasn't expecting was how much it made me think about Adam Young and what it means to rage at a world that provides so much love, and how to love a world where so much is wrong.

The thing about Adam is that he is just a normal kid (sans the whole Antichrist thing, but the point is he perceives himself as a normal kid). He romps and has fun and explores the world in unabashed wonder--until he realizes it isn't all that wonderful:

" '‘You grow up readin’ about pirates and cowboys and spacemen and stuff, and jus’ when you think the world’s all full of amazin’ things, they tell you it’s really all dead whales and chopped-down forests and nuclear waste hang-in’ about for millions of years.' "

Moments like the this one pop up several times in the book--including mention of the ozone layer. As the book was written in 1990, we don't really worry about the ozone layer anymore. However, the concern about ozone has been replaced by fossil fuels, and Adam's sentiment is still relevant. There are still innumerable things to be discovered, stories to be told, ideas to be thought of; but species are going extinct before we can discover them, (un)natural disasters are unjustly impacting impoverished communities and countries, and Big Oil is still lying and greenwashing its way to profits. Adam's outlook on environmental destruction very much reflects my own, and it's heartbreaking that not much as changed over 30 years later. But I don't want to focus on that. I want to focus on what the Antichrist does with his anger, in a way that is very, very human. Let's jump forward a bit, to after he saves the world:

“But you can't just leave it at that!" said Anathema, pushing forward. "Think of all things you could do! Good things." "Like what?" said Adam suspiciously. "Well... you could bring all the whales back, to start with." He put his head on one side. "An' that'd stop people killing them?" She hesitated. It would have been nice to say yes. "An' if people do start killing 'em, what would you ask me to do about 'em?" said Adam. "No. I reckon I'm getting the hang of this now. Once I start messing around like that, there'd be no stoppin' it. Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale.”

The above passage resonates deeply with me because it demonstrates two vital parts of climate activism, and the first part is education. Throughout the 3-4 years I've been advocating for environmental literacy and storytelling, my mantra has always been "people can't act on an issue until they care about it, and they won't care until they know about it". Today we know the vital role whales play in the ocean ecosystem, but throughout a good chunk of the twentieth century, whale hunting continued because people didn't know. The short-term advantages blurred the long-term disadvantages; those being, well, dead whales, something we took from the world before we got the chance to understand it. In order to tackle the climate crisis, people need to know that if we keep pumping fossil fuels out of the ground, we've got a dead planet.

The second vital part is the importance of shared responsibility. Adam, although he was the one that ultimately stopped Armageddon, didn't do it alone. Remember that anger I was talking about earlier? Adam could've used it to end the world and start it anew, with all the whales. In fact, he almost did. Yet he didn't, because his love for the world played such a vital role in his rage. And it was Anathema who inspired it, who connected Adam's sense of belonging in Tadfield and extended it to the world. It was Pepper, Wensley, and Brian that defeated the Horsemen with nothing but a child's determination and imagination. It was a ragtag group of humans that was right all along, not Heaven or Hell. Today, in a world where Pollution, War, Famine, and Death can be viewed as symptoms of climate change and fossil fuels executives are hell-bent on bringing about an apocalypse, the power of humanity in Good Omens hits so much harder. The characters in the book saved the world by working together, taking a stand while the world is set to burn.

Finally, I end with my favorite bit about the whole whale interaction: the dead whales remain dead. When Adam reboots reality, the bad things society has done is not erased. I love that detail so much because in terms of the climate crisis, we will probably lose more than we can save. But that is no reason to not save all we can. Like Adam says:

“I don’t see why it matters what is written. Not when it’s about people. It can always be crossed out.”

I choose to believe that anger, love and despair for the planet are all valid emotions. I choose to believe we can add a plot twist to our societal story. Good Omens has only reinforced this; I hope one day society will look at all the terrible things they've done and realize it was only for dead whales, and that one day I will be as brave as Adam Young, who had the choice to do things his way but didn't because there was a whole wild, wonderful planet to think of.

#good omens #book omens #climate change #environmentalism #adam young #me rambling #climate activism #good omens meta #whales

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