#it wrecks me every time I think of it

[dykeredhood]

What do we say about Brendol Hux??? FUCK Brendol Hux!!!

#Star Wars is a story about fathers and my entire fucking god it makes me want to dissolve #don’t even speak to me about BSG and Lee Adama and Bill Adama #i watched all that sitting on the couch next to my father. #‘if I was stranded down there on that planet… would you stay?’ #(paraphrasing) ‘i’m surprised you had to ask… we’d never leave’ #LELAND ADAMA STILL HAD TO ASK. #it wrecks me every time I think of it #personal

[fridayyy-13th]

don't mind me, just thinking about this MAG 022/MAG 200 parallel again for the ten-thousandth time

#man. tma was right those words can last. crying #i know this has been talked about front-to-back it's not like i'm thinking up any new analysis #but this just. always manages to wreck me. every time #friday chats #the magnus archives #mag 022 #mag 200 #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood

[fullscoreshenanigans]

(The Promised Neverland Art Book World)

Ah yes, one of my favorite genres of baby full score trio pictures: Isabella being openly affectionate toward Emma and Norman in front of Ray while being hands off with him.

(Chapter 2 | Chapter 37 | Chapter 165 | Chapter 170 | Chapter 177)

#and by favorite I mean “I am in physical agony. I am violently sobbing. I am eating the dry wall.” #Isabella before Ray's sixth birthday: man what is up with this kid he's more prickly than a porcupine (not even touching on his hair) #Isabella on January 15‚ 2040: ah. #The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #YnN #The Promised Neverland Art Book World #FSS Chatter #Full Score Trio #TPN Isabella #TPN Emma #TPN Norman #TPN Ray #Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag #Pre-Canon #Introduction Arc #TPN 002 #Escape Arc #TPN 037 #Return to Grace Field Arc #TPN 165 #TPN 170 #TPN 177 #also with Norman's stark black & white morality this is why his reaction to Isabella's betrayal is so volatile #and why I think it's a shame his relationship with her gets the least amount of focus #especially when you think of their conversation on the way to the gate #“Hey‚ Mom‚ are you happy?” / “Yes. Yes‚ I am. After all‚ I was able to meet you.” #absolutely fucking wrecks me every time #the layers. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭 𝘢 𝘺 𝘦 𝘳 𝘴.

[usagichuu]

the way that we dont know if the opening to hotaru no yomeiri is:

her father reading a letter from her

herself from the future as an old woman reading something she wrote in the past

shinpei reading a letter from her in his old age

and 'was' makes this letter written in the past tense so

is this satoko speaking in fond recollection of a happy life she spent with shinpei?

is this satoko speaking in regret for abandoning something that truly made her happy?

#this literally wrecks me every time i think about it #judging from the title of the manga its probably something i dont like #hotaru no yomeiri #gotou shinpei #firefly wedding

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

Give me a minute: I, a daycare teacher with severe end of the world anxiety, just read Tumblr Folklore Story "Daycare Teacher At The End Of The World" again and need a minute

#its just so well written #and its so easy for me to picture my own class of 1-2.5year olds in it #it just hits me like a train every time i see it #especially as someone who was working in daycare during covid? #idk man it just wrecks me (affectionate ) (i think) #daycare teacher at the end of the world

[esleep]

the whole "cats choose their owners" thing is really funny to me because ivy very much did NOT choose me. she was a slightly dim-witted and very rambunctious feral kitten, and that combination led to her getting herself stuck inside an old chipmunk nest halfway down the steep bank of the creek by my parents' house. from there she proceeded to scream her head off until both my mom and i came out to see what on earth was making all that racket, then we excavated her out of that hole like a sad little potato. she was grateful for the rescue, but definitely NOT grateful for the ensuing flea baths and conversion to indoor cat life at my apartment, which she reminds me of regularly. ivy i'm sorry for saving you from an early death due to predation/disease/cars, but can you stop biting me every day of my life please

#even every other day would be an improvement. #i do in fact take her out for leashed walks regularly when the weather is tolerable but it hasn't been possible for months and she's FED UP #however. i say all this but she routinely climbs into my lap for naps & greets me at the door purring & headbutting every time i come home #so clearly she's not that unhappy. her tolerance for regular cat-owner shenanigans however is essentially non-existent. #after 6 years though i can read her like a book. i know exactly how many head smooches i can get in before she gets too annoyed #and exactly how long she wants to be held when i come home before she wants to be put down #and exactly what she means when she 'gently' chews on my ankles ('play with me now or i'll bite harder') #but strangers on the other hand? guests in my home? my beloved human friends? they do not speak her language. #and the margin for error with her is razor thin. if you don't listen immediately when she says 'stop touching me' she will go from lovey #to SCRATCHING YOU BITING YOU HISSING HISSING HISSING almost immediately. #i have tried everything to convince her that's unnecessary but i think she is just SO sensitive she can't handle it #but i still love her so much. i understand her and she understands me. idk WHAT i'm gonna do when she eventually dies i'm gonna be a wreck. #in a lot of ways we are SUPER similar. i also lash out when i'm overstimulated & i also have a much lower threshold for that #than most people. #i get it.

[smilepaint]

anyway the concept of passing is a scam. we will never be liberated until the idea that a trans person's inherent value and worth and validity is directly proportional to their resemblance to a cis person. and i say this not just to those who struggle to or do not fit into that box, but to those who very much do and are counting themselves lucky.

the same way that its unhealthy and unreasonable to expect a same gender couple to conform to notions of what a heterosexual family should be, its unhealthy and unreasonable to have to expect a transgender experience of identity and a transgender body to conform to a cisgender ideal. not only does it further the marginalisation of trans people and drive a wedge in our community, but it's an unhealthy way to see the world and relate to yourself. its not fair to expect a human being to go their whole life in states of checking the value of their body and their life against a societally imposed, often unattainable model that may not even reflect their own desires or goals.

it's tough, i know how tough it is to go against everything you've been taught, and the right to seek medical intervention to reshape ourselves in a way that deepens and solidifies our connection to our bodies is and will always be important. but for your own mental health, whatever shape you take must reflect yourself first. not a cis persons. transition is about making a home out of the body you're living in, in whatever way works for you.

you deserve the mental freedom that comes with removing "passing" from your emotional radar entirely. trans bodies are good bodies.

#text tag #transgender #nonbinary #transition #gender #this is kind of a loaded take so to tack on some things #i am a trans person who's struggled with severe dysphoria for many years and was obsessed with passing as cis for a long time #there was a long time in which i would've preferred to stop living over going the rest of my life with visible surgery scars #just think about that.. idk how fucked is it that teen me thought it would be better to literally die than have one clear tell that im trans #im so much happier post surgery scars and all and like yes i fucking hate them. but i know i shouldn't and im trying to heal #also im very aware that passing as cis is OFTEN a safety issue and thats not what im speaking to here #im talking about mental health and longterm societal change and the gradual betterment of gender diverse peoples #not just from a gender standpoint but honestly from a decolonial standpoint #from a te ao māori perspective there was never an ideal of passing as “cis” for trans or takatāpui individuals #anyway yea obsession with passing wears people down into self hating wrecks and im sick of seeing that happen to our youth #and to every trans person regardless of where they're at in their journey

[chibishortdeath]

Older doodle that I think still holds up as funny I guess even if they look a little wonky compared to modern art of mine oops. Based off a meme, probs from Twitter or something I wouldn’t know I don’t have Twitter. And yeah that’s an attempt at a CV1 Dracula design lmao, he looks more like CV3 Alucard the more that I look at him X,,,,,,D. I was gonna ask if middle fingers need to be blurred but then I remembered that I didn’t do that to a drawing of Simon literally cutting his arm open for a ritual so uh I think we’re good 💀

#castlevania #castlevania games #simon belmont #dracula #castlevania dracula #my art #meme post #the silly!!! #you’re just a little hater #…and? #I think it’s really funny that I don’t have to post all of these as doodle dumps here #I keep forgetting that I’m just allowed to post one silly #and then that’s it just one silly #anyway CV1 is a great game #I have nearly no hit that one #death wrecks me every time tho

[ectoplasmer]

y'all ever feel so much love for your f/o that you just get moved to literal tears or am i just a mess

#art is making me feel things once again #marigoldshipping #<---- mima brainrot hours which is terrible timing because i need to be awake in like six hours #but i am over here. kicking my legs in bed every five seconds #i love him so much he's a literal safety hazard akjjhdsh :( #he's also just a huge nerd and literally just a big loser but/lh #aaaa stopp making me FEEL THINGS it's horrible #i need to be sleeping and not generating tears because my heart goes crazy over fictional characters #literally smiling like an idiot just thinking about him while typing this #he's just. >_< #oh terrible another moment where i can't convey what i'm thinking #he's just... he's such a nerddd aaaaa #his snarkiness his obvious need to dramaticize things even though he *claims* that's a thing that only marik does now (he's lying) #his attempts at seeming much more stoic than he actually is his poorly hidden attempts at trying not to seem like he cares too much #how he can be so arrogant and sharp one second and try so hard to be responsible and gentle the next #how he tries to act like he isn't as much as a wreck as the rest of us but he definitely is #i don't. even know what i'm trying to say. i don't think i ever really do when it comes to any of them #they make me so stupidly incoherent i can't even think correctly right now #i just... i love how i've managed to get past his walls. that i get to see more of him now #not just the scary and daunting part that he used to be. not just the level headed and intimidating part. not just the upset and angry part #i get to see the sides of him where he makes dumb and ignorant mistakes. i get to see him when he's calm. i get to see him when he's happy #i get to see him when he's sad and i get to see him when he's completely vulnerable #i get to see him in every mood and in every emotion. i get to see every part. #and i love all the parts of him. all the mess and fuss and the wrongs and the rights and the good and the bad #all of it is completely lovable to me. he's completely lovable to me. #i just. aaaa sobbing crying sniffling into my hands HE'S SOOOO #god damnit melvin you're making your girlfriend cry STOP BEING SO YOU PLEASE #he's. so pretty and handsome and bbdbfhfbjdffjdfd #i've been talking about my f/os so much recently i'm so sorry >< #gonna. try and fall asleep but my heart is literally beating so hard right now skjfkjds

[gayspock]

i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss

#egg.txt #i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in #my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life #but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF. #and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears #i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in #like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like #+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule #it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more) #and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc #i was getting no sleep? 😭 #i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus #cant fucking do it broooo #and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real #i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive #its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy #to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm

[qc-wiggles]

definitely failing my maths test today because i kept deliriously phasing out to akidachi animatic due to sleep deprivation

#talks #it’s so good it actually haunts me #literally a physical effect #every time i think i’m normal about tma my brain plays each individual frame of it and i’m reduced to a wreck on the ground

[pythoria]

hello everyone! a quick break from your scheduled art posting to talk about this incredible fic i think ever bloodweave enjoyer should read.

i know it'a already very popular, but imo it's a must-read. i could not praise this fic enough for what it is, the amazing ideas it brings to the table, the incredible execution of the timeloop trope. it's by far the fic i look forward to seeing in my inbox the most (not that other fics aren't absolutely gorgeous), because every chapter is just. a delight to read. it's got angst, fluff, and an amazing romance, but the plot is what really makes it stand out. it's tight, packed with great characterisation and has perfect pacing. please give it a shot if that sounds at all interesting to you. oh yeah, and did i mention that it's got art for every single chapter? yeah, read it. bask in its genius.

#pythoria.txt #turn on the laugh track #if anyone who follows me is already reading it don't hesitate to message me i'm in love with it and could sing its praises all day long #i also think it's a great experience to read it as it updates and the wait between each update is almost part of the experience #because you never know what will happen next and thinking about every chapter for a few days and letting it sit and marinate is the BEST #i'm ngl if this was pay-to-read i would not hesitate. every chapter could be behind a paywall and i almost wish they were just so i could #support the author and show them how much better they make my day with more than just positive comments #luckily for everyone it's free and an absolute joy to read #binge it or read one chapter at a time and let the story sit in your brain #to me this is a fantastic example of how you can sometimes tell a story better with fewer words #nothing about this fic is superfluous #a perfect example of efficiency in writing and how 2 sentences can sometimes wreck you harder than thousands of words #and the art follows the same pattern. it's simple; thematic; emotive #it's beautifully done without being perfect realistic renders. it's BETTER for it even. #it's got great composition and unbelievably touching facial expressions and poses #i just think. the person who created this fic is a bottomless well of talent and creativity. it is GENUINELY fantastic in every way

[meyhew]

fatima farheen mirza is so insane for the way she has written about grief. “he wondered, on the drive, how they would address what had happened. and now he sees it is as easy as saying ‘knew’ instead of ‘know.’” and “only when she spoke of abbas did she avoid looking at him. and only when seeking to comfort her could he look directly at her.” and “each time she returns to the conversation the memory loses some of its certainty. he is already becoming a long time ago.” like hellloooooo as easy as saying knew instead of know!!!!!! he is already becoming a long time ago!!!!!!! u are insane for writing that!!!!! seek help seek help pay for your crimes i will never be the same after reading that

#i cannot convey to u guys how much this book THOROUGHLY wrecks me #like is destroys me. every single time i think about every time i read any part of it i am in ruins #a place for us #fatima farheen mirza #seedpost

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level #for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her #still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions #Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later #jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this #not fair not fair at all this is evil #and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences #i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it #i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity #is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike #Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂 #AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪 #at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even #LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it #what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol #hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather #kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter #how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there #n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng #or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak #n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own #well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her

[cinnamon-phrog]

Can I please have some comfort right now, if that's okay? People are watching me.

#i'm being impersonated and harassed #every day people in my past still try to find me. and i'm scared #not of what they might find. i have nothing to hide. but it's the constant fear of being watched and never being free #i'll never be free from the people who hurt me because they'll always find me somehow #i shouldn't be feeling so awful but at the same time. #i pour myself out to help others yet in return i get 'oh it doesn't bother me' and 'i've had it worse'. as if i doubt that for a second. #but please. not everyone has the same amount of emotional endurance. my patience has worn completely thin. #people i've known on here to be the most disgusting scum of the earth who no matter how many times i block them still show up in my inbox. #people from my old school still think they can get to me. a person who lied to me still wastes their time watching me #someone who i cared about the most probably still watches on and it's breaking me. #it always has been but i'm the sensible one. i'm not allowed to do this. i shouldn't be writing this but i'm getting desperate #i've taken deep breaths. i've drank water. i've done everything plus things i should not have to ease it off. #maybe the reason why i love puppets and artificial characters because i'm always used like one. like i'm a toy to break or put away #stupid analogy everyone has made for themselves but i'm done trying to be a good writer. the composer. #i want to feel without being judged but of course that's impossible. it's fine when it's strangers but relentless stalkers? it's wrecking m #it has been for ages but i was scared to say because i'm used to apathy and false promises. #i keep forgetting things and hurting myself. i'm getting scared.

[tickle-fight-club]

thinking about getting absolutely destroyed in a tickle fight rn

#specifically thinking abt a ler sitting on me and pinning my arm above my head while they keep tking in one spot over and over as I scream #I’m 5’2 and under 120lbs how am I not getting wrecked every minute of my life #being cute and petite is such a waste of time #tickle talk #holly talks