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highdramas · 3 years

Text

it’s rotten work | b.b.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: language, possible tfatws spoilers, general talk about illness/stomach flu

word count: 1.7k!

summary: you have the stomach flu. bucky takes care of you. somewhere in there, love is confessed.

note: here’s another installment in the twalb story <3 again, you don’t have to read these in order, they stand independently, but they do all work together! PLEASE leave feedback/reblog! this is extremely helpful for me writing future parts to know what everyone likes or doesn’t like! just a heads up i wrote this SUPER quick and it is not proofread but the thought of bucky taking care of me when i’m sick....... ya i just had to write it

enjoy! <3

“doll?”

you’re not sure when you padded out to the living room. you’re not even sure how you managed to get the bowl to set next to you, in case your stomach turned again. and you’re really not sure how you even thought to put a few cubes of ice in the mug full of water that sits on the coffee table.

all you had known was your stomach was a pit of fire and your head was pounding and you are an absolute baby when it comes to feeling ill. and bucky is finally beginning to sleep through the night in the bed that you two share. he doesn’t need to be woken by your moaning and groaning.

apparently, you had drifted off into sleep at some point. and apparently, bucky had noticed. you shouldn’t say apparently as if it’s so shocking. bucky pays attention to just about everything when it comes to you. you’re sure that the second he reached his arm out and felt nothing but the sheets, he sprung from the mattress.

you’ve been drifting in and out of consciousness for you don’t know how long. it was nearly two in the morning when you wandered out of the bedroom, and as you scramble to grab your phone, it reads 3:07am back at you.

“doll, what’s goin’ on?” bucky sits on the edge of the couch and his hand goes to your bare thigh, rubbing your skin, and you note that he is shirtless.

“don’t feel good,” you mumble and cover your eyes with your forearm. “didn’t want to wake you up.” you pause and look at him. “you look so good. ‘s not fair.”

bucky scoffs and he pushes your arm away, placing his hand on your forehead. “jesus, you’re fucking burning.” you faintly feel his hand moving down the side of your face. “you should’ve gotten me.”

“didn’t want to wake you up,” you repeat and you finally open your eyes. he’s looking down at you with an incredulous smile, that somehow manages to mix irritation and adoration. “or get you sick.”

“i don’t care about that.” you’re sure with the serum he couldn’t even catch a cold. “one second.”

you begin to push yourself up, protests on your lips, but bucky shakes his head and gently pushes you back into the couch. “stop. let me take care of you.”

oh.

there’s something simple inim the words that stirs your stomach.

and you promptly grab the bowl and throw up into it.

bucky’s not gone long once he hears you. he has a hair tie on his wrist and various other items which he sets on the coffee table before he scrambles to pull your hair back. you’re hunched over with the bowl in your lap and a pout on your lips. you look at him and say, “i’m sorry, this is so not sexy.”

you throw up into the bowl once more.

despite tying your hair back, bucky keeps one hand tangled in it, the other rubbing circles on your back. “i always think you’re sexy.” cue a gag. “even now.”

you pull back and look at him with furrowed brows. “shut up.”

bucky grins and he wipes your mouth with a damp towel. you slacken slightly as he holds you, as he takes care of you. your mind is nothing but a fog, but at the center of it is bucky. bucky’s touch, bucky’s hold, bucky’s soft voice in your ear. “i think i fell in love with you the first time i saw you,” you begin to babble, your head falling to the side. whether it’s the fever or the exhaustion or a mix of both, you’ll never know. “when you asked to help build kitty’s tower.” you point to where it now lives in the corner of his apartment. “look at your handiwork. you did such a great job. how could i not fall in love with you?”

bucky stills. the two of you have passed many firsts. hell, you two live together for christ’s sake. however, there is one thing that has never passed either of your lips.

i love you.

you continue. “it’s so easy, too,” you say, your head lolling to the side. “to love you. you’re so hard on yourself, buck. but it’s easy as-- it’s easy as breathing.” you smile and it quickly dissipates as you feel your stomach twist again. “god, i’m so sorry you’re doing this.”

“don’t be,” he says, and his voice is husky.

you love him.

he should’ve guessed, right? because he is in perfect agreement with you. he has loved you since he has known you.

slowly, you lean your head on his shoulder and he holds you, setting the bowl down onto the ground beside you. “i feel like you’re not going to believe me,” you mumble. “how much i love you. you never believe me.”

“doll…”

“it’s true!” you pull back, and your eyes are glassy. you fall back onto the couch and you once again place your arm on your forehead. “i wish you could understand.”

“understand what?”

blue eyes lock onto yours. “how deserving you are of good things in the world.” you stretch your legs out across his lap.

you don’t give him much chance to respond before you’re pressing your hand to your forehead and groaning. bucky opens and closes his mouth, trying to find the words, before he shakes his head. not the time. “here,” he grabs the bottle of ibuprofen he’d found in the cabinet and the mug full of water you’d fetched for yourself when you initially stumbled out into the living room. “let me help you. can you sit up?”

nodding, you push yourself up again. he taps your chin lightly, and you open your mouth. he places two pills onto your tongue and he holds the back of your head, handing you the water. a shaky hand takes it and you tip your head back, downing nearly the entire glass. “thank you,” you look at him. “you don’t have to do this. i would’ve been fine.”

“didn’t you just say something about being deserving of good things?” bucky studies you. “that applies to you, too.”

“i didn’t realize puking all over my boyfriend was a good thing.”

he rolls his eyes and you laugh. even when you feel like shit, you’re laughing, bucky notes. it’ll never be lost on him how lucky he is to get a front row seat to that laugh every single day. the two of you sit in quiet for a long time. he gets another damp rag and puts it on your forehead. he sits on the opposite side of the couch and he runs his fingers up and down your legs, making smoothing circles.

when you open your eyes again, sunlight is beginning to stream in through the windows.

bucky is still sitting in the same position, but now, he’s watching the tv, and he seems to have found a t shirt. no sound omits from the tv, but you watch as his eyes take in the subtitles at the bottom of the screen. as you begin to stir, his head snaps to look at you. “hey.”

you rub your eyes, and you’re already feeling a hell of a lot better than you did last night. “what time is it?”

“almost noon.”

bucky has clearly done some cleaning. the bowl from last night is gone and replaced with a new one, clean and empty beside you. there’s a new glass of water on a coaster next to you, as well as more medicine and some saltine crackers. you rub at your neck, trying to recall the events of last night. the things you said.

how could i not fall in love with you?

your heart plummets. you fix your eyes on him and he sits up a little bit straighter. “are you feeling alright?”

“oh my god,” you breathe, and you cover your face with your hands. “i’m so sorry.”

bucky pulls your hands away, scooting closer to you. “doll, no. don’t be sorry--”

“no, i am!” you press your hand to your cheek. “i throw up all over you, probably sweated all over you-- like, ew! and then, i incoherently mumble about how much i love you?! buck, that’s not the way that i wanted to tell you. not at all.” frustrated tears begin to rear their ugly head. “i’m sorry,” your apology is not more than a whisper.

bucky doesn’t seem to mind any of that, though. “you remember?”

“of course i remember!” you fall back and bucky takes your hand.

“doll…” bucky looks at you. “doll, c’mere.”

stubborn as ever, you stay where you’re at, embarrassment written all over your face. his hands pull you up and finally, you look at his eyes. “i’ve loved you since that night, too.” his words are soft, almost nervous, though you could never understand why. “i thought that maybe you were just… you know, when you’re feverish, you can say crazy things. i didn’t want to--”

you can’t help it, a laugh breaks free from your lips. “that is so like you,” your words are laced with fondness. “i confess my love to you, and you think it’s the fever talking.”

his cheeks go pink. you lick your lips and you hold his face in your hands. “i meant it.” you nod your head, biting down on your lip. “i meant all of it.”

it’s as if you can see the physical weight that lifts from bucky’s shoulders. he breathes a bit lighter, his smile is a bit easier. “i love you,” you insist. “forever, buck.”

bucky’s hand goes back to that spot on the back of your neck, pushing past the tangled knot that your hair has turned into. “i love you,” he says, and he leans in.

his lips barely brush yours before you scoot back, shaking your head. “no, no.” you laugh and move to stand up. “you had to see me throw up everywhere, i’m not going to make you kiss me with vomit breath.”

bucky grabs your hand, holds your face in those tender hands of his, and he presses his lips against yours. the kiss is slow, and it is sweet. when he pulls back, he looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “i’ve seen a lot of bad shit, sweetheart,” he pecks your lips again. “i’m not scared of a little puke.”

you fall in love with him over and over and over again.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes series #the world's a little blurry #my writing

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xoxoavenger · 3 years

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Crazy

pairing: Luke Skywalker x reader

summary: Y/N goes a little crazy when Luke doesn't return from his patrol, and she definitely outs their secret relationship.

word count: 3624

warnings: cannon typical injury

masterlist

"Do you have to go?" Y/N asked, grabbing Luke's arm before he slipped out of the bed.

"If I don't go now, people will get suspicious and come looking for me." Luke kissed her neck, and she rolled onto her back.

"I'm sorry you're so popular, but that's not my fault." Y/N said, eyes still closed and still hanging onto him.

"Y/N," Luke whined, falling back into bed with her as she pulled at him.

"I think you're sick today." Y/N said, placing her arms around him and making him as close as he could be to her.

"There will still be people looking for me. I have to go." Luke kissed her head, untangling himself from her. "You should probably get up too, Y/N." Luke began putting on the extensive layers he had to have on in order to not freeze on this ice planet.

"I don't want to." She mumbled, and he rolled his eyes fondly at her.

"Come on." Luke pulled her up, and she finally opened her eyes. Luke had two layers out of the five he normally put on for missions, and Y/N pouted.

"Why did you put your clothes on?" She asked, and Luke let out a small laugh.

"Because it's cold. You need to put your clothes on too." Luke grabbed Y/N's long sleeved under shirt, and she lifted her arms up so he could put it over her. "Are you ready to go to work today?" Luke asked, getting dressed himself after helping Y/N.

"No." She muttered, wiping her eyes. "Can you do my hair?" Y/N asked, and Luke smiled at her.

"I can't do it as well as Leia does, Y/N. You know that." Luke said, but he still moved behind Y/N and began braiding her hair in two sections. "Here's your hat, love." Luke put the hat on Y/N, and she smiled at him.

"Be careful." She said, leaning on her tip toes to kiss him. He kissed back, lips warm against her cold body.

"I'm always careful." He smirked as they parted.

"Keep talking like that and you'll sound like Han." Y/N smirked, and Luke huffed out a breath. "I'm serious, Luke. I don't know what I'd do without you." She placed her hands on his chest, wishing he would be closer to her than the millions of layers between them to keep them warm.

"I know. You'd go crazier than you already are, Y/N." Luke smiled, hands rubbing his hands up and down her hips.

"Stop it!" Y/N whined, hitting his chest.

"I love you." Luke said, bringing her close.

"I thought you had to leave." Y/N rested her head on his chest.

"I do." He kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." Y/N kissed Luke one more time before the separated and made their way to their respective jobs.

"Han? Where's Luke?" Y/N asked as soon as Han walked into the control room. She knew Luke hadn't checked in yet, and he never forgets.

"He's checking out a meteorite that hit near him." Han answered.

"Alone?"

"With all the meteor activity in this system, it's going to be difficult to spot approaching ships." Y/N's question was disregarded, and she felt her heart race. Something wasn't right.

"General, I got to leave. I can't stay anymore." Han said, and Y/N looked over at Leia. She knew the princess had feelings for the captain, even if she would never admit it out loud.

"What?" Leia turned to see Y/N staring at her.

"Tell him how you feel, Leia! You don't really want him to leave, do you?" Y/N asked, and Liea turned to look at Han again, who was still talking to the General.

"When are you going to tell Luke how you feel, Y/N?" Leia whispered, and Y/N rolled her eyes. Luke and her were still new at the whole love thing, so no one knew about what happened behind closed doors.

"Well, Your Highness, guess this is it." Han said, and Y/N and Leia turned to see Han now behind them.

"That's right." Leia nodded.

"We hate to see you go, Han." Y/N said, and Han shoved her slightly.

"Don't tell me things you don't mean." He smirked, before looking at Leia. "Well, don't get all mushy on me, Princess. So long." And then Han was out the door. Leia and Y/N shared a look before Liea was after him, leaving Y/N to wonder where Luke was.

"Han!" Y/N yelled, making the man stand up and move from under his ship.

"What now?" He asked, and Y/N shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

"Where's Luke?" She asked, and Han's face immediately changed to concern.

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't come back yet. Leia and I don't know where he is, and the temperature is starting to drop and-"

"Hold on, honey. I don't know where he is." Han informed her.

"Nobody knows where he is." C-3PO informed them, and Y/N and Han turned to see the gold machine standing beside them.

"Nobody?" Y/N muttered.

"What do you mean, nobody knows?" Han asked, and Y/N's heart picked up its pace as if she was sprinting. "Deck Officer!" Han was yelling before 3PO could speak.

"Excuse me, sir, might I-"

"Shut it, 3PO." Y/N mumbled, following Han.

"Do you know where Commander Skywalker is?" Han asked.

"I haven't seen him." Y/N shut her eyes as the man spoke, trying to think of the best case scenario as stomach churned.

"Is it possible he came in through the south entrance?" Y/N asked, eyes still closed.

"Yes."

"It's possible? Why don't you go find out? It's getting dark out there." Han commanded.

"Yes, sir." The man responded, and it was quiet until Y/N felt hands on her shoulders.

"Y/N?" Han's voice cut through her thoughts, and she opened her eyes. "Are you alright? You're breathing really heavily." Han said, and Y/N nodded, although her breath intake increased.

"Hey, calm down. You're going to make yourself pass out." Han put a gloved hand on her face, and Y/N didn't react. "You probably need some sleep, I'm guessing. Are you tired?" Han had no idea what he was doing, but Luke's best friend was freaking out and normally he dealt with this sort of stuff.

"We need to find Luke." Y/N muttered, suddenly grabbing a helmet and scarf. She was putting them on, glassy look in her eyes.

"You need to stay here, Y/N." Han said, hands still on her shoulders. "Are you okay? You're shaking." Han was staring at Y/N, concerned. She was blinking rapidly and shaking behind the eye shield.

"I'm just cold. Come on, we need to find Luke." Y/N said, putting the helmet on.

"No, I'm going to find Luke. You're going to stay here." Han barely gave her time to finish her sentence. She began to walk away and he grabbed her, pulling her back. "Y/N, seriously. You're not going."

"Let go of me, Han, or I swear to-

"Stop fighting! You're not going!" Han yelled, and Y/N struggled in his arms weakly.

"I have to go! I have to help him!" Y/N yelled, but Han held onto her tightly.

"You can help him by staying here and working in the command center." He then moved to hug her, and she started to cry in his arms.

"Save him, please." She cried to him, and Han felt his heart break. Although Luke and Y/N never said anything about their relationship, Han knew there was something going on.

"I will. I promise."

"Sir, all the patrols are in." Y/N and Leia turned to hear the conversation between the two men.

"Still no-" Y/N turned her head as the man cut himself off, the pair obviously not wanting to say more because Leia and herself were there. "Still no contact from Skywalker or Solo." The man said quieter, and Leia grabbed Y/N's arm.

"Mistress Leia, Mistress Y/N, R2 says he's been quite unable to pick up any signals, although he does admit that his own range is far too weak to abandon all hope." 3PO informed them, and Y/N took a deep breath, wishing her emotions away.

"Your highness, there's nothing more we can do tonight." One of the men said to Leia, and Y/N turned her back to them, trying to clear her mind. It was going to be very cold at night, and Y/N knew it would be hard to survive.

"The shield doors must be closed."

"What?" Y/N cried out, spinning to face them.

"Y/N, we can't do anything until morning." Leia said, pain in her voice.

"They're going to freeze out there!" Y/N cried, and she heard Chewy let out a growl.

"Close the doors." Leia said, and Y/N felt her world collapse in on her, head spinning.

"He's going to die." Y/N mumbled, tears spilling out of her eyes. She looked to Leia, who had a sad frown on her face.

"We don't know that. Han and Luke are strong, Y/N, they can do this." Leia tried to comfort her, but Y/N just shook her head as more tears went tumbling down her cheeks. Just as she was about to fall, to let her body go numb, Chewy grabbed onto her, turning her to him and wrapping his long arms around her as she cried into his fur.

"R2 says the chances of survival are 725 to one." 3PO said, and then the loud clash of the door closing sounded, causing Y/N to cry out. 3PO kept talking, but Y/N drowned him out, sobbing into Chewbacca.

"I'm sure Luke and Han will be back in the morning." Leia's hand was at her back, and Y/N turned her face to see the princess, still holding tight to Chewy.

She slept the worst she has ever slept in her entire life, tossing and turning, her eyes not wanting to stay closed. Still, when she woke up, she was expecting to be in Luke's arms. Instead, she woke up next to a furball, and the pain of yesterday's events came crashing down. Y/N picked herself up, wiping a hand over her face. Her head was spinning, and her chest was hurting from her heart beating out of her chest for so long. She came out of the Millennium Falcon, which she barely remembers falling stumbling in and falling asleep, to see Leia pacing in the hanger.

"Did you even sleep?" Y/N asked, pulling her sleeves down.

"Did you?" Leia looked to Y/N, seeing the bags under her eyes, and then back to the open door. "They sent the rescue team out a little while ago. I'm waiting for word that they found them." Leia said over the irrelevant chatter of the rescue team.

"Hopefully they find something more than just frozen bodies." Y/N said, and Leia frowned at her.

"Have hope, Y/N. I'm sure they'll be okay." Leia put a hand on her shoulder, and Y/N smiled at her.

"Echo Base, this is Rouge Two. I've found them. Repeat, I've found them." Came through the comm, and Y/N and Leia both let out a sigh of relief, hugging each other. Y/N almost felt herself fall as her knees buckled, but Leia righted her.

Y/N and Leia awaited the plane that would be carrying Han and Luke, and Y/N rushed over to it as soon as they landed. Luke was being pushed on a medic carrier, and Y/N followed with it. He was pale, a black eye and cuts adorning his face. Y/N pushed the hair out of his face, feeling his cold skin.

"We need to get him into a bacta tank." Someone said, and Y/N looked up.

"Will he be okay?" Y/N asked, and someone in front of her stopped, making her stop. Luke kept going, and Y/N tried to get around the medic.

"He'll be fine, Ma'am. He will need to spend at least ten hours in the bacta tank, which is a hard sight to see. Are you sure you want to stay with him?" The man asked, and Y/N furrowed her brows in anger.

"Get out of my way." She said, pushing past him and running to keep up with Luke. She watched as he was hooked up to a breathing tube, and then stripped down. The droids slipped a machine over his arms before lifting him into the tank. Y/N made her way forwards toward the tank, placing her hands on the glass as she looked at Luke. He was completely unconscious, and every so often a droid attached to the tank would shock him, causing his back to arch and his body to tense.

Y/N stayed at the tank for twelve hours, sitting next to and leaning on it while watching Luke. She needed to make sure he was okay.

"You should get some sleep. He'll be pulled out soon." Han said, putting a hand on Y/N's shoulder. Han and Leia had been in and out with C-3PO and R2-D2, but Y/N had stayed the entire time, only eating a small portion of the food they had brought.

"I'm okay." Y/N said, smiling up at Han and wiping a hand across her face. He grimaced, and Y/N looked up at Luke, wishing he could just be close to her. Watching him float in the tank lifelessly was unsettling, and all she wanted to do was cuddle with him for an entire solstice.

"You need to sleep at some point. Chewy told me you barley slept on the Falcon last night, and it's getting late." Han told her, and Y/N looked back to him

"Exactly. I slept last night so I'm fine." Y/N told him.

"You need to eat and sleep, and then Luke will be out." Han pushed, and Y/N stood up.

"Why do you care? You were going to leave anyway." Y/N crossed her arms, and Han looked almost hurt.

"I was just trying to help you. Don't want you looking like more of a mess than normal when he comes out." Han said, and Y/N punched his shoulder.

"That's for leaving me here." Y/N seethed, and Han rolled his eyes.

"You would have died out there in your state. I was doing you a favor." He explained, and Y/N pushed Han. It wasn't hard, since she was so weak, but it still angered Han.

"Doing me a favor? I was trying to save him and you stopped me."

"You were going crazy, Y/N! You can't blame me for not taking you." He said, and Y/N frowned.

"I also promised Luke I wouldn't put you in danger if he were to go missing." Han said softly, and Y/N looked to her unconscious lover.

"Why?" She whispered, placing a hand on the tank.

"He loved you, ya know."

"Yeah, I do." Y/N let a tear slip out of her eye, and Han wiped it away.

"He'll be okay." He said, bringing Y/N into a side hug.

"I know, but I just want him to be okay now." She mumbled, placing her other hand on the tank, leaning against it.

"Will you rest now?" Han asked, hoping he'd get to her after that talk.

"I'm okay here." Y/N said, and Han sighed, but left to sleep anyway.

"Mistress Y/N?" Y/N woke up to 3PO's voice, and she looked around to realize she was still in the room they were keeping Luke in. She sat up, looking up to see Luke still floating in the tank. "They're taking Master Luke out now." 3PO informed her, and she stood to see Han and Leia also in the room. The droid detached from the tank, and Y/N stood with the others to watch Luke be lifted out of the tank. They set him on a bed, then toweled him down. They put new clothes on him and then whisked him away, Y/N in tow. Leia and Han met her on the way, and the three of them followed the bed until a droid stopped them.

"No humans allowed until Commander Skywalker is awake." The droid said, and Y/N scowled.

"I'm his girlfriend." Y/N explained.

"Doesn't matter. Commander Skywalker needs his rest." The droid responded.

"Well how long is that gonna take?" Han stepped up, defending Y/N.

"A least a few hours."

"What? No, I want to see him now." Y/N said, trying to get past the droid. It didn't budge.

"I'm afraid you can't. Please go to your room, and we will have you notified when he wakes."

"No! I'm going to be with him in there." Y/N tried to push the droid away, but he did nothing.

"Move, you big bag of bolts!" She cried, but the droid did not let her through.

"Y/N, it'll probably be good for you to get some sleep." Leia put a hand on her shoulder, but Y/N shrugged it off.

"I don't want sleep, I want to see him!" She yelled, but the droid still stood in her way. "I swear to the Imperial Army I will rip you apart piece by piece if you don't let me through." Y/N threatened, however the droid seemed uninterested.

"We'll get clearance from the General. This isn't the hill you want to die on." Leia said, and Y/N turned to her. She looked at Leia, and then at Han, and suddenly she deflated.

"I just want to be with him. Make sure he's okay." She said, crying for what seemed like the millionth time. Leia wrapped her up in a hug, and she let out a breath against her.

"He'll be okay. He's in good hands. You should get some rest." Leia pulled away and winked, and Y/N just nodded. It appeared that Leia had a plan, and knowing her it was probably a good one.

"We're terribly sorry about that." 3PO said as they walked away, and once they turned the corner, Leia began to talk.

"We're sneaking you in here tonight." She mumbled, and the group continued walking.

"How?" Y/N asked, looking at Leia, but she was looking straight ahead,

"It's cold enough at night that there aren't many alive rebels that work in the medical wing, and droids are charging." Leia explained, still looking ahead as they began walking.

"I'll come get you from your room in two hours." Leia finished as they came up to Y/N's room. She honestly almost forgot she had her own room, spending so much time in Luke's.

"Thank you." Y/N smiled at them both, hugged Leia and then went to her room.

She couldn't sleep. She knew Luke was perfectly fine, but not being able to see and feel him made her on edge. She almost fainted at the knock on her door. Y/N opened it way to eagerly, smiling at Leia.

It was cold in the hallways, since it was night now. Y/N shivered as she walked through the empty space, making her way slowly to where Luke was.

"Do you know which room he's in?" Y/N asked, coming up upon the many doors leading to rooms.

"While you were throwing your tantrum, I was watching to see which room they put him in." Leia smirked, opening the door to her right. Y/N smiled, hugged Leia, and then quickly went into the room.

"Oh, Luke." Y/N mumbled, seeing Luke laying on the bed asleep. His hair covered his closed eyes partially, and his skin was still pale, making his injuries seem worse. She pushed herself onto his bed, laying down next to him. "You dumbass." Y/N whispered, clinging to him. His body was warm, and Y/N kissed his cheek, hand going to rest on his chest and leg wrapped around him.

Finally, finally, she fell into a peaceful sleep.

"You're not supposed to be here." Y/N woke to the stupid droids voice, and she sat up.

"I'm sorry." Y/N mumbled, moving from Luke. She looked at him, and he was still sleeping. She felt like she hadn't gotten any sleep, and she realized she hadn't been asleep for long.

"I'm going to ask you to leave, Ma'am." The droid said, and Y/N let a little breath out.

"It's fine, Med. You can go to your next patient." A human said at the door, and Y/N smiled slightly.

"Thank you." She said to the man at the door, who nodded and turned the light off.

Lips on hers. That's what she finally woke up to.

Chapped, bruised, swollen lips, but they most definitely belonged to the one and only Luke Skywalker.

Y/N opened her eyes, pushing Luke away lightly. She was still in his bed in the medic wing, and when she sat up, she noticed Han, Leia, Chewy, 3PO and R2 were also in the room. Y/N blushed, and Luke brought her closer.

"What happened?" Y/N asked, and Luke shook his head, cuddling closer to her.

"I got taken by a snow monster, and it was really cold." Luke mumbled, and Y/N rolled her eyes, holding him close as well.

"Well, it seems you two get along very well. When did this happen?" Han asked, and Y/N sunk farther into the bed.

"A lot of things happen behind your back, Han." Luke said smugly, and Y/N smiled.

"It's cute that you think this was behind my back."

"I'm glad you're okay." Y/N said, looking up at Luke and pretending Han hadn't just spoke.

"I am too. I heard you went crazy and threw a tantrum without me." Luke smirked, and Y/N hit his chest, beginning to move away. "It's kinda cute." Luke said, pulling Y/N closer to him.

"You're about to die again, Commander Skywalker." Y/N threatened, and Luke rolled his eyes and brought her close up to him.

"I'm so glad you're not already crazy."

#luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #star wars #star wars imagine #luke skywalker imagine

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mercurial-madhouse · 3 years

Text

Trigger Warning: Healing is painful, but there’s so much light on the other side if we’re strong enough to walk through the dark.

My hope in sharing my story is to help anyone who reads it find peace or healing, just as I always aim with my fiction. If it feels right to you to do so, I encourage you to reblog this. It is highly personal, but I choose to share it publicly.

************

This past Sunday, I received an email responding to my desire to withdraw from a fic fest. Instead of the simple “You have been removed from the fest” that I’d been expecting through an official channel from mods to a participant, this is the response I received. Please be aware, the following is painful.

***

We've removed you from the fest and will mark you down as not being welcome to participate in future fests. We show a great deal of compassion toward our writers, which is why we send reminders, answer any and all questions, and provide extensions when requested. There's a reason why our fest has one of the highest numbers of fics of any fest/challenge in the fandom - it's because we support our participating writers and do everything possible to assist them as they complete their fics.

However, once a writer has repeatedly failed to communicate and missed both a deadline and an extended deadline, it's clear that they do not have any respect for the fest, the mods, our time, or our own unique situations, as we don't have endless extra hours to track down participants in a fic fest. Several reminders on three different platforms, an extension, and requests for writers to simply let us know if they need more time does not demonstrate a lack of compassion in any capacity. We also showed a great deal of compassion by welcoming you with open arms into the [redacted] after you insulted the fest, insulted [redacted] fics, and made writers uncomfortable last year after signing up to beta their fics, all while pretending to support and uplift writers in the fandom just as you did in your email here.

Have a great week!

- [redacted] Mods

***

This email arrived right at the end of the night, just as I was lying down to sleep. I couldn’t read it all the way through. It elicited a trauma response in me. My heart started racing, my palms were sweaty, I was shaking, I felt sick to my stomach.

I went into fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode. My first response was to freeze. In order to escape the barrage of pain bombarding me, I simply dissociated and disconnected from my body. It allowed me to sleep, but barely. I deleted the email in a desperate attempt to pretend it didn’t exist.

The pain caught up with me twenty-four hours later. I couldn’t breathe, my lungs shrunk in around my heart. My whole body locked up. I couldn’t move. I knew that if I spoke, even to say ‘hello’ to someone, I’d start crying.

The moment I was alone in my room the tears came. The pain came, bursting through me. I sobbed uncontrollably, curled into myself on my bed, begging for the pain to stop, begging for a miracle, screaming internally for relief and to understand what I’d done to deserve this because I didn’t have the air for more than broken whispers.

I fell asleep whispering ‘I need a miracle’ over and over. The mantra blocked out all the disgusting thoughts that wanted to keep swirling through my head. This is it. This is the final proof that you don’t belong here. You never have. You never will. Run away, M. It’s over. You tried, you failed. You always do. You always will.

I fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

Grief is intense. These are the moments where we don’t think we’ll survive what we’re feeling. My love, whoever you are, if you are reading this, hear from me. The agony passed. I needed to feel that agony, to allow it to move through me and to give myself the space to feel it. Without diving off the deep end into what hurts, I wouldn’t have been able to find the inner peace to keep healing, to start to understand.

The residual pain is still there, even as I write this post. But it no longer overwhelms my senses. And by Tuesday morning, I’d been given insight into what was happening.

I experienced a trauma response because it mirrored mistreatment I first received in childhood from family and classmates alike and continued into my adult life. In full view of others, it was acknowledged as cruel even by my mother, who struggles with her own guilt because she never stood up for me. No one did.

So I internalized the mistreatment. I must deserve it if everyone else around me is ok with me being singled out like this? At first I spoke up for myself. But in the end I stopped speaking up for myself too. I had never healed this pain and here it was, coming back around again, forcing me to face it, to heal it once and for all.

I still do not know what exactly I may have said to cause these accusations that you see in the email. **I do not and will not deny them.** Even if my words were taken in a way I did not consciously intend, to deny that I said anything that caused someone else pain is to deny my own power AND to deny that everyone’s emotions are valid and worth digging into.

I have the power to inflict pain, just as I have the power to spread and share love and joy.

Whatever I said came from a place of pain, of believing I did not belong in this community. That I am not good enough or worthy enough to be here. A series of unfortunate but necessary events when I first entered this fandom completely disintegrated my core beliefs in my abilities as a writer, something I have always kept so close to my heart, and my belief that I had a place in this fandom.

I expect, as I look into my past patterns, that what I did was try to logic why I wasn’t allowed to belong. At the time, this fest was the only subset of the fandom I knew, I was so brand new. So I looked through all the prompts in the fest. I brought a scientific method view to answering the question: “What is it about the fics people write in this fandom am I unable/incapable of doing?”

This process allowed me to generalize everything I saw that I perceived as ‘I can’t do that, this is why I don’t belong here’. Consumed in my own doubt that I could measure up and write something worth reading, I dropped from the fest last year too. If I can’t contribute writing that’s worth reading, I could at least stick with what I do best, which is helping others be their best selves. I had signed up to beta, and I chose to cling to the only grasp of belonging I had, which was through beta’ing. I ended up beta’ing four fics last year for the fest. And, of course, each of them were (and still are) incredible fics. At the time, it was further proof to me of exactly what I can’t accomplish.

In all likelihood, these generalizations, stemming from a place of pain and jealousy because I wanted to write good fics too, came out in a personal conversation with someone, which they translated as a personal attack. It is valid. Whoever you are, your emotions are valid. It does not matter how I meant whatever I said, pain is what you felt. This person did not feel comfortable sharing that pain with me, so instead they turned to others and shared. My moment of vulnerability and pain then spread more pain.

Pain only comes from pain.

The response was to shadow ban me. In fact, I was never meant to find out about any of this. The pain this person shared was simply taken at face value and that was that.

So on my end, this decision showed up in the physical world this way: Suddenly all my asks went unanswered, people I tagged to share snippets and last lines and get to know more through ‘about me’ posts or who had once talked to me through DMs simply stopped speaking to me in a way that is only noticeable to the person being ignored. I thought I was going crazy. But there it was, right in front of me: absolute proof that I wasn’t good enough to be a part of this fandom.

Is anyone else beginning to see the cycle of pain?

I expect I continued this cycle right back, because the pain turned to bitterness. I’d been doing everything I could to support every author the best way I knew how, and this was what I got? The exact opposite?

I found out about this shadow ban and actual blocking around June of this year. An ask sent in by a friend for me, inquiring why I couldn’t reblog a post that’d been sent to me by someone else, finally gave me the answer that I’d been banned for the accusations you saw above.

Horrified, hurt, and unable to comprehend any of this except to know that I support every author no matter what they write, I sent an apology to the mods, trying to end this cycle the best I could without knowing any of the details of what had happened. There was nothing more I could do.

They thanked me for the apology, though as you can see from the email, it was never accepted. I do not say that as a judgement call, but simply as a statement of what happened. Everyone is entitled to accept or not accept in their own time and their own ways.

I have been healing so much since everything that occurred last year. And the more I dig in to this cycle, the more my heart goes out to the drafters of this email, to the person I hurt with my words who then turned to share it out of context with others, and to the people who shadow banned me in connection with this situation.

We attract to us what resonates with us. Like attracts like. Which means just as I’ve attracted the greatest friends to me, I have also attracted this pain, and conversely, these mods and that person attracted me to them.

Deep down, on some level we share the same core wounds. And the person who can really understand just how painful those wounds can be is someone who feels them too.

So this is my message to the mods of the above email, to those who have shadow banned me and want nothing to do with me, and to the original person I hurt with my words:

I am sorry for my part in this pain. I am sorry for causing pain and I apologize for it. You are loved. You are enough. You are doing a fantastic job. Your feelings are valid. Your hurt is valid. I don’t know what occurred that hurt you before I entered the fandom, but after finding out from others that an email like the one you sent above is ‘Oh that’s just how they are’ tells me something else happened to hurt you before I even arrived.

Your hurt then is valid too. Allow yourself to feel it and process it. Don’t let it consume you. Don’t let that hurt and fear of it happening again or believing that that’s how everyone is push away from you people who in fact love just what you love. If someone has a different belief from yours, don’t let it invalidate what is true for you. Believing internalized lies about myself only caused me pain. And we spread and create what we believe to be true, whether we consciously realize it or not.

So here, now, is my truth:

I choose to perpetuate love. I choose to spread love. I choose to understand my pain and the pain of others, to transmute it, and to heal it, instead of passing that pain on.

I choose compassion. Compassion for myself in making these mistakes, and compassion for those who have hurt me. I do not condone the email that was sent to me. No one deserves to be treated that way. I choose to focus beneath the visceral anger and lashing out, to focus on the agony beneath the words, and stop this cycle of pain.

I choose to belong in this fandom. I choose to support every author in this fandom and ensure no one ever feels not good enough. I choose to own my past mistakes and learn from them.

I choose trust. To trust that those who I truly hope will see this, will see it. I have no expectations of responses or outcomes or reactions. My only hope is that whoever will benefit from seeing this post will see it.

This is not a matter of right or wrong, bad or good, just or unjust. It is a situation of two parties in pain, triggered by the same triggers.

Looking back on that email, I’ve come to realize that half of the pain I felt when I received it was not my own. I felt the pain of the attack, sure, but I also felt the immense pain beneath those words. And I wish I could hug you. I acknowledge your pain and I acknowledge how painful it is because I know that pain myself. I also know that this pain isn’t you and it isn’t who you are.

So I choose to remember the mods I first met around this same time last year in this same email chain. Mods who were so kind and offered advice to a brand new writer even when she sent an email that had nothing to do with the fest and was still struggling to find her place in the fandom. I choose to remember how beautiful that kindness felt. I choose to remember how I was so grateful for that kindness that I shared my gratitude for these same mods in an email with with another fandom friend at the time. I am still grateful for you.

You are so loved. You are loved for being exactly who you are. This fandom is built upon love. A shared love of five incredibly talented lads who have brought so much joy and light when each and every one of us has needed it the most. Shine your light through the dark and believe with all your heart that you are not alone. You have support. I support you. Shine on. Don’t let anyone dim it.

#Being this vulnerable #is an act of courage #I never knew I had #I'm not fearless #I feel ready to vomit #I have no idea how this will be received #but I am sharing my truth #have courage to share your truth #the world needs you

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 3 years

Text

seeing someone else.

BISHOP LOSA. MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ request by @encounterthepast: Hello lovely Aurora, can I request angst prompt number 7 with Bishop please, thank you, 💕

❝ prompt: “Don’t you dare to lie to me again”.

❝ request by @arveeee: Hello my dear, so I was thinking, and there is one sentence to that can't go out of my head. So it is: "let me in" with Bishop (I know I'm boring). Well I believe in you, I love you , and I love your writing. Say hello to Arya.

❝ request by anon: Hi, Aurora. I love your writing sm 🥺 I was wondering if I could request an imagine with my man Bishop? I was thinking of something like the reader and him being in kinda like a friends with benefits situation, but she decides to break it offf because she’s really upset. And maybe Bishop doesn’t understand so she eventually explains to him that she wants more out of their relationship and he reassures her they are more and they always have been? Maybe leads to like soft/romantic smut? Thanks so much!

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! so, that new trailer huh?😵 would absolutely love if you could write me something for a stressed out bishop with the prompts "Stop ignoring me, it’s driving me crazy!" and "Let me help you make it better." Thank you tons!!💖

❝ words: about 1.4k.

❝ a / n: as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

Another tequila shot goes down your throat, ripping it off as you almost smash the small glass on the table. Tossing your head back as you rest your back against the sofa, sitting on the floor, you take a look around you. The gloomy has taken over your house as the night has fallen a couple of hours ago. It's the fourth night you are trying to forget about Bishop and whatever you two had. But you can't dismiss from your mind his caresses —his fingers drawing patterns on your back, his lips touring your neck with delicate kisses as if he was afraid of breaking your skin, his mustache tickling your inner thighs, his raspy voice articulating your name in moans. It's the fourth night miserably failing, remembering the last time you spent together, the way he was holding his back pretending he wasn't sad because you were leaving him.

“Obispo, it's over. Don't make a big deal. We're just friends who occasionally fucks”. You scoffed somewhat annoyed because of him and his interrogation, but how could you tell him you were falling in love with him?

“I ain't making any deal, (Y/N). I just want to know what made you change your mind and keep a wide berth”.

“I'm seeing someone else”.

"Don't you dare to lie to me”. He growled, taking a step closer towards you with the intention of stopping you from picking up and packing the less stuff you had in his house.

“Think what you want”. You replied, rolling your eyes.

The first tear flows in the left corner of your mouth not appreciably at first, but then, some more until finding yourself crying. You miss him so much. You miss watching him sleep peacefully in the small hours, drifting slightly when you caress his cheek using your fingertips. Flexing your knees to your chest, you wrap your arms around trying to contain the loud sobs, hiding your face between them. How have you been so stupid to fall for him like that? The two of you made it clear from the very first moment. Friends with benefits. But after a couple of weeks, you started to notice that he used to push away any other woman that it wasn't you, he didn't spend much time in the clubhouse preferring to do it in your house —cuddling, watching movies, playing poker; kissing every single inch of flesh covering your anatomy.

Reality hit you the moment he murmured something like you're a miracle, thinking you were calmly sleeping between his strong arms and your back stuck to his chest, no distance among your bodies. You knew it was a thing produced by the alcohol running through your veins and it wasn't fair for you to fantasize about the idea he was catching feelings for you. So you just ran away, like a coward.

Some clumsy knocks on the front door of your house bring you back to reality. At first, you try to ignore them. It's not like you're in the mood for visits, knowing that probably it's Leti at the other side of the place, worried because you haven't replied to her text all day. But she insists and insists. And you know how stubborn she can be sometimes. Serving yourself another shot and drinking it in just one gulp, because you're too sober to endure another of her Ted talks about positivism and what he has lost, you stand up on your bare feet. Everything around you spins dizzyingly for a second until you can react, feeling every knock like a hammer hitting your brain.

“I've heard you the fi—”.

Opening the door to receive her, your vocals get frozen as you face Bishop in a deplorable drunk state. Just like you are.

“Let me in”. He barks, not being able to look at your eyes, trying to pass you away to the inside, but you stop him.

“Go home, Obis—”.

“I'm home, shut the fuck up”. He frowns taking a sip from a bottle of whisky you haven't noticed till now. “You think you can kick my fuckin' ass outta your life by saying you're seeing someone else? You think I'm fuckin' stupid, queri— Were you crying…?”

From anger, his tone of voice falls to one lower and lower, as the concern and the worry cover his annoyance completely. Throwing away his drink to somewhere over the grass of your yard, he holds your face onto his palms. His touch causes you to tremble. His warm touch causes you to break into aching sobs, panting as you can't breathe properly. All this time you've been thinking you have missed him, but you didn't have a real idea of how it feels until his fingers have been laid on your wetted skin.

Bishop comes closer to you, touching the tip of your nose with his. You can smell the mixed scent of cigarettes and whisky emanating from his cracked lips, it doesn't bother you, tho. “Don't kiss me, please”.

Until this precise moment, he has loved your begs and pleads to his bones, but now he hates them more than anything he could ever hate in his life. It breaks his heart. He can't deal with your rejection one night more.

“Why…? Why can't I kiss you?” He asks desperately at the edge of his tears. “Please, stop ignoring me, it's driving me crazy. I can't even take care of my own shit without you by my side”.

Your knees feel weak at his words, still believing he only says that because you're just a good lover, the best in the sheets, as he told you once.

“I… I…” You babble nervously, trying to not place your hands on the laps of his leather kutte to finally push him into the needed kiss you've been craving for the last four days. “I love you”.

And why the confession doesn't take him by surprise? Why doesn't he look confused? Why does it seem like he already knew it? Bishop can't help but draw a fleeting grin across his face.

“Do you think I came here, falling into pieces, just because it feels like being in Heaven when I'm deep inside you?” He whispers, clicking his tongue slightly. “I didn't believe you when you told me you were seeing someone else. But the minimal thought I could have about it made me lose the less sanity I have”.

You blink stupefied at his own confession about his feelings. Your fingers tour his abdomen up in slow motion, starting to have some faith in his words.

“Mi amor…” Bishop mumbles in soft giggles shaking his head. “I adore you, mi amor. I don't want anything else than to share my life with you, and only with you”.

He doesn't wait for a signal from you to kiss your lips, he just takes what it's his. And you can't hold back a painful gasp, expelling in it all the sorrow you've been carrying for the last four days being separated from him. Your hands grip his shirt in two fists, pushing him as much closer as the two of you can be, about to melt in the same figure. All this time you have been trying to not love him, to forget him; and you were just delaying the inevitable. You are made for each other, that's a fact. Your lips fit to perfection —your bodies, your hearts.

“Tell me you love me”. You whimper against his mouth, causing him to smile because of your need of making it real by these simple three words.

“Love isn't enough to express what you make me feel”.

Bishop bends down without prior notice to wrap his huge hands on the back of your thighs, urging you to jump onto him and surround his waist with your legs. You haven't forgotten how good his warmth takes over you when he holds you like that, walking inside your house and kicking the door close. Guiding his steps across your place and its hallways, he reaches your dark dorm barely illuminated by a post light outdoors. He lies you down on your bed —a bed that has welcomed you for the last eight months in every kind of state. Drunk, tired, happy.

Now, you're a mix of them. Drunk in tequila, tired of crying, but happy for having him back for the rest of your life.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @Jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221 @littlekittymeow @tenderclio @badame1240 @regalbanshee @greeneyedblondie44 @phoenixhalliwell @codenamewife

MAYANS MC: @multiyfandomgirl40 @countryash345 @skyofficialxx @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @bellisperennis0 @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @purrrrfect @witching-hour @leathercladmenfics @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @queenbeered @sesamepancakes @gemini0410 @pinguinstudiert @oscars-wifeyyy @meteora-fc @lozaa94 @arveee @joupym @hanster1998 @missswritings @arana-alpha

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc #bishop losa #bishop losa imagine #bishop losa x reader #obispo losa x reader #obispo losa

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wandsandwheezes · 4 years

Text

I'd die for you. | G.W

TW // major character death(s), angst, general sadness, love, mentions of blood, death and sadness.

I would like to apologise in advance for this one, it has taken me two full days of tears and breaking my own god damn heart.

Let me know if you want to be on the taglist my loves💞

@witch-and-a-half @weasleysflowr @wand3ringr0s3 @hufflepuffgirly

Never make a promise you don't intend to keep. That's what my mum always taught me, so in the lead up to the Seven Potters I promised George that even against my best judgements, I'd stay back at the burrow and wait for his arrival.

"If you keep biting those nails, you'll have none left, dear!" Molly said, sitting next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders "Before you know it, they'll all be walking through that doo-" A loud splash echos around the quiet surroundings of the countryside, causing Ginny to jump from the chair and run outside, greeting Harry and Hagrid on their arrival. All too quickly I hear Lupin's voice yelling, causing everyone to look in the direction of his voice. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach.

My mind went blank in the next few moments, I was stood there watching Lupin carry the weak and limp body of love of my life into the confines of the Burrow. Ginny grabs my hand, pulling me inside when she notices that I hadn't moved an inch. I thanked Merlin that he was still breathing, but the blood rushing from his ear made me question how he wasn't unconscious.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." he jokes, feigning a small smile at me as he reaches for my hand, which I let him take, dropping to kneel by his side. My other hand reaching up to brush the hair from his eyes.

"George, you never cease to amaze me how you can still be smiling when you've lost an ear," he squeezes my hand tightly, almost to check I was still there, "who am I if I can't even make the woman I love smile?"

I press a small kiss to his hand, giving him a reassuring smile. I feel a hand on my shoulder, looking up to see Fred staring down at me, he moves to join me beside his brother, "How're you feeling, Georgie?" George takes a deep breath before speaking up.

"Saint like," he smiles, I look to Fred, who has a worry in his eye, I give him a reassuring look as I give George's hand a squeeze, "Come again?" George lets go of my hand, straining to reach up and point at his own ear "I'm holey, get it Fred?"

"The whole wide world of ear related humor and you go for 'I'm holey'... It's pathetic" The twin smiles, looking down at his hands that sat nicely in his lap, "Recon I'm still better looking than you, at least Y/N still thinks so, right angel?" I smile nodding as a small blush rises to my cheeks, I lean in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead, earning a small but weak smile from him.

After about 10 minutes of arguing over who would clean up George's ear, I convince Molly that I was more than happy to take care of her son, especially as I've been patching the twins up after any and all mishaps at the shop. She obliges, despite her motherly instincts kicking in, helping me guide George into the bathroom. We seat him ontop of the toilet seat, nestling between his legs as I gently dab a warm cloth over the side of his face, clearing away all of the blood. I find myself taking in every freckle, every little scar on his face, the way his cheeks were so full and how he was just so perfect, making me realise how much I loved him.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" he smiles up at me, his hands holding onto the backs of my thighs, as my hand holds his chin in place, starting the task of cleaning the blood from his ear. I try to make sureBeing careful to be more gentle every time he winces. "If you're lucky, Georgie, imagine how I feel waking up to you every morning."

"Promise me something," I push back his hair so that it's out of the area, grabbing some antiseptic. "If it's that the antiseptic won't hurt, then there's nothing I can do my love, just bite down on this." I give him a towel which he places between his teeth. The sounds he made as the alcohol cleaned his wound broke my heart, but it was in his best interest. I pull out my wand, casting a small spell to deal with the stitches while he's still biting down on the cloth, causing him to groan again, but this time it was more of a wince then full on cries of pain. I wrap a bandage around his head, holding some gauze in place to help with the bleeding.

"If I didn't love you so much, I'd be swearing this house down by now," he says, pulling the cloth from between his teeth, I reach to wipe away his stray tears that linger under his eyes and on his cheeks. "Now my love, what am I promising you?"

He goes to stand up, quickly deciding against it as he sits back down. I take his hands again, rubbing my thumbs across the back of his hands, he pasuses for a moment, almost as if he's unsure of what he's about to ask, however the grin that he pulls his lips into dispells any worry. "I want you to promise me that you'll still love me with one ear."

"Georgie, I'd die for you, regardless how many ears you may or may not have, you're the love of my life." I laugh, leaning down to finally press a kiss to his lips, moving one of his hands to the small of my back and tgr other to the back of my head, keeping me pulled into the kiss for a little longer.

The next few months were weird and uncertain, Diagon Alley becoming quieter and quieter, I begged George to move back to the Burrow so that we'd be out of the madness and true to his word we did, Molly helping me work with him on his sickness and growing vertigo. Harry, Ron and Hermione were off hunting horcruxes and every morning I got a gut feeling that things were going to get worse.

Beams of Green and Red were flying all around me as I ran through the corridors of hogwarts. The sounds of crying, screaming and yelling were all I could hear. A head of firey red hair, pops around the wall which I spot out of the corner of my eye, he was fighting off Death eaters like it was nothing when suddenly he's thrown to the floor, his wand flying from his hand. I'm trying to run towards him but I feel like I can't move, every muscle in my body is resisting.

"Avada Kedavra!" suddenly the body of the man I love goes lifeless before me, I scream at the top of my lungs, my body finally giving in as I collape at his side, wailing from the pit of my stomach.

"no, no, no... Wake up! Please wake up, My love, just open-" "your eyes, shh, it's okay, I'm here, it's just a dream, baby." my tear stained cheeks, and small shallow breaths were enough for George to realise that it wasn't a normal dream, the protective part of him pulling me into his arms, rocking me gently as he coos my sobs, which grow less and less violent as I'm brought back to reality

"I'm sorry." I whisper as his hand plays with my hair, soothing me to a point where I can finally breathe again, "don't be, when you screamed like that i thought something was happening to you, I swear whatever was hurting you like that I'd take the brunt, I'd die for you, my angel."

"Don't say that." I breathe, shaking my head as I press a soft kiss to his jaw, "no dying, not for me, Georgie." he holds me tighter, leaning down to connect our lips in a soft kiss. "no dying, got it."

I hadn't seen George in a month, we decided that with the death eaters still roaming the streets, it would be better if we both went into hiding. My aunt, who has two witches herself, was keeping me safe, telling her girls to stay in Australia for their own safety. I hear a small knock on the door, Aunt Melinda poking her head into the room.

"This just came inside one of my letters, it's for you, darling." I smile at her, taking the letter gratefully, I recognise the handwriting immediately, opening up the envelope to a gorgeous hand-written letter.

To My Angel,

Merlin, I miss you. Dad told me about how the whole muggle mail thing works and I think I enjoy it more than mail by owl. I think personally that it was a stroke of genius to write to you like this because I know theres no way that the death eaters will go looking through muggle mail.

I want nothing more than to hear your voice again, to touch your skin, feel you next to me when I wake. Oh, Speaking of sleep, how are your nightmares? I don't sleep much these days so I hope you're resting better than I am.

Dad says the order has been checking on the house and the shop regularly, they think the burrow will be safe again soon, I hope you'll join the family and I because I have something I need to ask you and I don't want to do it over a letter.

I love you always and forever.

Georgie

I hold the letter close to my heart, longing to feel his presense again. The nightmares haven't been getting any better, no matter what I do, I don't get to him in time and I have to watch him die in front of me over and over again, knowing that I could've saved him. A wave of pain and sadness washes over me as I curl myself into a ball, under the covers, praying that the duvet becomes his arms and that I don't fall asleep to see his lifeless eyes again.

Two months later, finally stood in each other's arms, kissing again in the room where it all started for us. For a moment I'm taken back to Dumbledore's Army and the hours George and I spent as we snuck into the room of requirement, him helping me perfect my patronus, giving me the happiest memory of all when he kissed me for the first time.

We stood by the window, away from everybody, talking and making up for lost time, holding onto me like he wouldn't ever let go again, every time I looked at him, I was smiling, my heart doing backflips.

"I wanted to ask you this before it all gets crazy," he smiles taking both of my hands as he gets down on one knee, pulling out a ring from his pocket. "I was going to ask you when you were mending my ear, I wish I didn't catch myself out and that I'd asked you then and there because being away from you made me realise that I can't spend another day without you, I love you so much, you're the best thing to have ever happened to me so I want to make us last forever, that's if you still love me, even with one ear."

I giggle, taking the ring and slipping it onto my finger as I nod frantically. I wanted nothing more than to be with George forever, even if he only had one ear.

I don't think any of us realised we were fighting a war until the bodies of people we cared about started to pile around us. I was fighing for everything I had, until I couldn't breathe, a sense of dread washing over me when I realised I'd been fighting alone. I was running around the castle and everything felt like slow motion. That was until I stumbled into the great hall and suddenly time felt real again.

Ginny was holding me back from stepping closer to any of the family, I caught a glimpse of the redheaded boy who looked to be asleep on the floor, his twin sobbing next to him as the family wept. "It's freddie, Y/N" she whispers, "Fred's gone."

Every wail and sob from every nightmare came back to me at once, pushing past Hermione to wrap my arms around George, letting him cry into my arms, and there we stay for as long as he needed.

When It felt like it was all over, we believed Harry was Dead, that this was the end, that everything we had worked for was short lived. I cried into George's shoulder, hugging his side, it felt like a part of all of us had gone. So when Harry reveals himself to truly be alive we were all in a state of shock, moving as one to finish what was started if not for us then for those we lost.

The fight was not over. Beams of Green and Red were flying all around me as I ran through the corridors. The sounds of crying, screaming and yelling were all I could hear. It's like I'd done this a thousand times. I saw the man I loved, from the corner of my eye, he was fighting off Death eaters like it was nothing, when suddenly he's thrown to the floor, his wand flying from his hand. I realised, I had done this before. It was all de ja vu and before I could think, I run and jump in front of the spell that was meant for him, taking it with the full force of my body.

The next few moments felt like no time at all, like both nothing and forever. He held my body in his arms as I reach up to press my hand against his cheek, feeling the last of my life slip away from me, "I love you, George, even if you do only have one ear."

Never make a promise you don't intend to keep. When I told George I would die for him, I truly meant it. When I told him I'd love him forever I meant it. I continued on with him for years, watching him heal and mourn Fred and I. The thing that hurt the most was hearing him still talk to me, like he feels me there, "I made your favourite, mum's cinnamon rolls, she doesn't make them much anymore, I don't think she will without your help." he smiles down at his plate, pulling the roll in half, before letting out a deep breath, placing the other half down and sliding it across the table.

I'm hugging him but he can't feel me there, I'm there every night, curled up next to him but he doesn't feel me hold his cheek anymore. He's sat in the dark, tears rolling down his cheeks, "I know you're here, I can feel you with me but not Freddie." he wipes away his tears, pulling a pillow into his chest. "I hope he's okay, would've been nice of him to leave me one of his ears, it's not like he ever used them anyway." George Weasley, you never cease to amaze me how you can still be smiling when you've lost all that you have.

He never loved another woman, even when he tried, by Godric I wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. He was sat on the bed, clutching the photo of him and I as he played with the engagement ring he gave me. "I live for you my Angel, If only there was a way you could have lived for me."

#george weasley #fred and george #george weasley fic #george weasley x reader #harry potter #weasley twins #harry potter fic #Angst #Sadness

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ultimatetornshipper · 3 years

Text

To bee or not to bee - a Jasonette fic

@moonlitceleste I almost let this die, I honestly really wanted it dead but alas it was clearly meant to bee

(WARNING: contains puns, angst, crack and fluff. You have been warned)

If you don’t want to read my sarcastic/funny/fangirl commentary, skip the brackets

I have another bee movie au, i didn't plan it ("I don't claim to be proud. But my head won't be hung in shame. I didn't plan it. But the light turned red, and I ran it. And I'm still standing. It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here. I understand it. A story written by my own hand" as quoted from Waitress), it just happened and i just couldn't resist. I'm not sorry

So what if instead of dying Joker turned Jason into a bee. Because Harley convinced him and told him that people were talking shit about him because he's named the Joker and they don't think he's funny. It surprisingly works. (Obviously Harley was the one who made the plan and did the magic I mean really what do u expect of Joker?)

Ok so now Jason’s a bee right? And he’s like 15 because .~:°*plot*°:~.

They look for him and Jason’s like flying around like, “Guys! Guys I’m right here!” Poor kid. (I mean I would make it funny but like angst)

Obviously they don’t understand him because he’s a fucking bee and Joker cackles madly and Harley laughs too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and it's kinda that laugh u do when ur supes overwhelmed and sound maniacal but like soft (I’m a simp for Harley being portrayed as the complex and beautiful character she id leave me be)

Jason is very sad. And also quite pissed

Not knowing what else to do he follows Batman home, he listens to them trying to find him, watches Dick freak out and Alfred wipe a tear the rest of the family doesn’t see.

Jason tries to approach Alfred, hoping he somehow recognizes what happened

He doesn’t, Alfred closes him in a glass and paper and takes him outside.

He sneaks back into the manor and sleeps in one of the flowers (it's a red tulip because aesthetic) next to his bed. He cries himself to sleep. (Can bees cry? Is this possible? Is this like a thing??? I don't need sleep i need answers)

The thing is even tho he's now a bee, he still has the durability of a human, so even stepping on him won’t crush him and he still has a human lifespan

Because Harley isn’t a monster and what Puddin didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. (Simping for Harley Quinn strike 2)

After a while at the manor and following them he decides he can’t stand it anymore. Alfred has thrown him out three times and Dick freaks out each time he sees him as he’s a tad allergic (read: he would die if stung)

Which is how Jason found out that getting hit with a newspaper wouldn’t kill him.

He leaves.

He’s a bee and it’s not like he knows about a way to reverse it.

But there was someone who might.

He goes to Arkham.

Luckily, Harley was still there. (YAY we get to see mah gurl)

He flies into her cell and she just watches him, then she seems to click. She gives him a small smile, “Hi birdie,” (she puns, honestly would make for a better clown of Gotham and I saw an idea for that once where she steals Joker’s title once and I’ve been yearning for it ever since)

She holds out a finger and he lands on it, she laughs but tears come to her eyes,” Hey at least you’re not dead. That was his original plan you know? To kill you with a crowbar. I convinced him this would be a cruller fate. I guess maybe it is, but at least this way... Ugh how the hell did I get here,” (Harley angst, honestly it’s all just self service at this point)

He simply stared at her as she cried, and he felt his heart clench. From here she looked so sad... not crazy, just broken.

She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “Look kid, there’s a way to get you back to normal, you just need to find someone, they’re called the Guardian of the Miraculous. They can help, I don’t know who or where they are, just follow your instincts. And come say hi when you get back, yeah? I could do with the... healthier company. And remember, I bee-lieve in you,” (Gasp what a shock, you mean to tell me Miraculous magic is gonna be involved in this Maribat au. Well I never what a shock. Also puns. Oh and she’s so nice to him. We love Harley in this house)

He sat there and studied her for a while more, there was more to her than it seemed. Than what he’d assumed.

But for now, he had his own problems to deal with.

She gave him a small wave as he left. (Adorable)

He left and started considering his options, as a bee, it would probably be safest to stay inside, away from birds and things that would view him as a snack.

Staying in Arkham seemed like his best option, as bad an option as it was.

Most of the prisoners wouldn’t have a second thought about trying to crush him.

A strong scent of flowers and plants suddenly came to his attention.

Of course! Poison Ivy. (Round 2 of me simping for beautiful, complex, badass women. Too bad Catwoman ain’t here.)

He followed the smell to her cell and saw her staring out of her small window. He was still taking a chance, but she loved plants and flowers and bees were important to those, weren’t they?

He flew to the window bars and sat on one. The moment she spotted him she smiled widely, in a soft way he hadn’t seen on her before. (Ahhhhh my darling plant redhead. I love writing the Sirens as soft badasses. Also has anyone noticed how rare brunettes are in superhero worlds? Like both in Marvel and DC but like irl brown is like a pretty damn common)

She held out her finger, “Hey there, little guy. A little far from home, aren’t we?”

She had no idea.

He landed on her fingertip and watched in awe as a flower and a few leaves formed on her hand. She let the flower grow itself around one of her window bars and held her finger next to one of the petals.

“There you go, it’s all I can manage with my power dampers. I haven’t had company in a while,” she said softly as he crawled into the flower. He made himself comfortable.

She laughed to herself and he saw her shaking her head, “Talking to a bee, well, I guess stranger things have happened,” (yeah ur crush is dating a green haired murderous psychopath and you get beat up by a billionaire in a batsuit on like a biweekly basis)

The flower was soft and warm and felt safer than he expected it to. He found that he could move between the petals but decided to curl up in the middle. (It's a pink rose this time because fuck yeah flowers)

He slept better than he had in days.

The next morning he took his leave, stopping only at the manor to say a mental goodbye.

Then he headed off.

Jason flew a lot the first few months, our boy was smart at least, travelling with a cruise ship on its way to Europe.

It was Spring in the Northern Hemisphere so he had until Autumn until it was in his best interest to head south to avoid the snow. He decided to head towards Africa when summer started coming to an end. (I have no reasoning for this, just that I want to)

His first spot would be the United Kingdom. Then he'd go through the rest of Europe following his instincts.

At least it was Spring.

Jason diligently searched through England, Scotland and Ireland but found nothing.

By the time he was done he realized it was time to start heading South. He’d decided to take another cruise to South-Africa, where it would be summer, he searched through the country until April. He would admit that he didn’t feel drawn to anything in any of their 9 provinces so his search wasn’t as diligent as in England. He didn’t feel anymore drawn to the neighbouring countries like Namibia or Botswana either.

(Once again no reasoning for why I picked these countries, I mean the French Hugonotes went there when they were fleeing from the French Catholics who wanted them dead so I guess I could make up some bullshit about Mari having an ancestor in common with someone there or maybe it was just the ship he could easiest get access I don’t know, you make something up)

Which was why he decided to go back to Europe as soon as April hit.

He hitched another ride on a cruise headed for France.

It’s been a year since he got turned into a damn bee.

He was sixteen now and while he’d seen some amazing things all through South-Africa (a place that proves that humans really do have a weirdly obvious way of naming things I mean the Amazon river and Chad Lake are just more examples really) as well as the United Kingdom, all he really wanted was to go back home, to be human again.

When he gets there he diligently makes his way through France, eventually arriving in Paris.

He lands on the tip top of the Eiffel Tower. As in the point of the antenna because why not.

During his year he realized that birds and other animals tended to avoid him, sensing his strangeness so that was at least one positive.

He stared out over the city. Well, the one good thing about this was definitely the views he’s been allowed to see.

That was until a massive explosion hit.

“What the fuck?” he said out loud, searching for the source. No one understood him, human or bee, but talking to himself reminded him of his humanity.

He found the source of the explosion but just as he started flying to its general direction, a blinding white light shone followed by a horde of ladybugs that were fixing everything that was wrong. (Imagine how scary this would lowkey be irl tho? Just a shit ton of Ladybugs descending on Paris my dude)

He decided that he needed a night’s sleep before he could even begin an attempt at deciphering what had just happened. He flew lower, finding a nice little balcony right above a bakery. And it had flowers. (I’ll give u five seconds to guess who this balcony belongs to)

He flew down, exploring.

He turned around when he heard a loud thump from behind him. What appeared to be a super heroine in red spandex with black spots had landed on the balcony.

She detransformed and started to talking to a floating bug- fairy thing. Strange. Though it wasn’t like he could judge, as an ex superhero sidekick who was thought to be dead but was actually a bee.

She disappeared down her trapdoor and he made himself comfortable in one of her flowers.

He slept soundly until somewhere during a night another thump woke him. He looked out of his sleeping spot to see a cat superhero stand on her balcony. He leaned down and knocked on her small trapdoor.

Ah, a teammate of hers, they were probably meeting about something, he thought as he heard her open up.

It didn’t take him long to realize that even though they were teammates, the cat, Chat Noir he later learned, was not aware of this fact.

Oh this was rich.

He couldn’t bee-lieve his eyes. (ok so Jason used self-referential puns but can you really blame him? It’s really just me and my pun problem so don’t blame the kid)

He was going on and on about his feelings for Ladybug, the girl’s hero form, that were clashing with his feelings for another girl he fenced with, while she listened, clearly fed up with it.

He also claimed that he thought that maybe they were one and the same. Which, to Jason, was hilarious as he was literally saying this to the actual Ladybug’s face.

Marinette- he learned from the Cat’s ongoing blabbering, he was a real blab-bee mouth, - was clearly tired, nodding half asleep, probably having heard it all before.

When he finally left Jason went to sleep again, incredibly amused and even more thankful that he was fluent in French. ( u think this is plot convenience? Just u wait mah dude iz about to get worse)

The next morning he decided to follow her to school. Which was how he learned of her huge crush on a boy named Adrien Agreste.

After learning the boy could fence thanks to Marinette’s obsession interest in him, he got suspicious.

Could it really bee? (not a typo)

After seeing the boy transform a month or two later for patrol he laughed like he hadn’t for over a year. It very much was. He'd spent the time staying on Marinette's balcony and decided to stay another week before moving on and continuing his search, after all, he couldn't stop now that he finally felt like he was getting close.

The next day she got home crying, claiming that Adrien had started dating someone else.

Kagami, she called the girl. Probably the fencer if he had to place a bet.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki told the girl.

“That boy's an idiot,” he said, speaking his mind, another thing he’d gotten use to being allowed to do without consequence.

Marinette nearly jumped out of her skin, she looked around and he realized that she could hear him. He hadn’t really spoken too much before, at least not when she was around. He was usually content with watching her do whatever she was doing that day.

“Tikki, did you hear that?” she asked, Tikki nodded, her eyes landing on him.

“Oh,” the kwami said softly, flying over to him, “Oh, you poor thing, who did this to you?” (Tikki is the first ever mom friend and u can fight me on this)

He stared up at her, flying so that they were eye level.

Marinette gaped at them, heartbreak seemingly forgotten, “Tik- Tikki, are- who are you talking- are you talking to a – Tikki is that a bee?!” she finally spluttered out.

“No,” Tikki said, studying him, he felt his heart twist in hope and his stomach roll in surprise. Did she know?

“I mean yes, but no. He’s a boy whose been turned into a bee,” Tikki explained, turning back to Marinette.

“Oh,” Marinette said softly, turning to him. She held her hand out and after some hesitation he landed on her finger. She looked at him then back to Tikki.

How did they know? Would he really be that lucky? Was this real?

“Uhm, how?” she said, staring at him in disbelief. He tried shrugging but realized he couldn’t anymore- beecause of his- well if you haven’t caught on to the fact that he’s a bee by now you should really start from the beginning of this story.

“I don’t know, but Joker and Harley Quinn were involved,” he said.

Marinette stared at him in disbelief, blinking a few times. She sat in shock a few moments longer. (Our darling is an awkward lil bean, and while in media awkward is portrayed as cute, irl it isn’t, it’s just well… awkward. And we’re writing a serious and realistic fic about this sidekick of guy who wears a batsuit/billionaire's ward getting turned into a bee and falling in love with a magical girl fighting a butterfly man- none of this unrealistic nonsense)

Tikki flew over and sat on Marinette’s shoulder while her holder processed the information, the kwami stared at him sweetly, “What’s your name?”

He swallowed, he hadn’t said his name in ages, it stirred up something (emotion, it’s called emotion, Jason, you know? The thing Batman can’t process??) in him, “Jason Todd,”

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of her daze, “That sounds American. Are you American? Wait if Joker and Harley are involved then you’re probably from Gotham. Are you? Wait I’ve seen the name Jason Todd somewhere. Weren’t you some rich guy’s ward? It was all over the news last year, Alya wouldn’t stop talking about it for a month, she had a million theories. He was – you were announced dead two months after Robin was taken captive by Joker, everyone thought he was – you were killed. Joker made outrageous claims as they arrested him... saying that they’d never find Robin... that he’d all but disappeared in thin air... that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing stripes... I remember because he put a really weird emphasis on the words be and stripes and...,” her eyes widened and she gasped as she looked at him in what could only be described as pure shock. (Yes this happens, people can talk for this long and since I personally know headcannon that Marinette is ADHD this long ass paragraph is just another Tuesday bud)

He sat there, surprised that she figured it all out so quickly. (yeah bub it’s called plot convenience and it’s because of me, the writer, I don’t wanna focus on secret ID shenanigans, I got other plans for yall, also Mari is smart, don’t underestimate her)

“You’re Robin,” she breathed, “they turned you into a bee. Wait- How the hell did they turn you into a bee?!”

He chuckled, “Bee-lieve me I’ve been asking myself that question for more than a year,”

She bit her lip, seemingly contemplating his words and ignoring his pun, “Tikki do you know anything that could help? Do you think Miraculous magic-,”

He felt his heart stop, he flew up to her face, flying at eye level, “Wait, did you just say Miraculous? Harley said if I could find the Guardian of the miraculous, they could help me, do you know where they are? I’ve been looking for so long,” (‘°;~*.plot convenience.*~;°’)

Marinette blinked at him and Tikki's face dawned with realization.

“I’m the guardian of the miraculous,” Marinette said softly, “Tikki, that means I can help him, right?”

Tikki nodded and he had to dial down the hope in his heart because the look on her face told him there was a Kim Kardashian sized butt on the way.

“We can help him, but we’re gonna have to wait. (don’t look at me like that, do u want them to have time to bond or not?) You’re not trained enough to pull it off yet. If you were to do it now, all three of us would be out of commission for far too long, especially with Hawkmoth on the prowl,” Tikki said.

They must’ve been able to sense his sadness because they were staring at him with an incredible amount of pity. The amount was quite unsettling actually and he suddenly felt a primal like urge to pun. (An extract from my book: “My unhealthy coping mechanisms and how to use them,” specifically Chapter 8: “Humor hides the pain”)

Suddenly Tikki’s face lit up, the whiplash of her expression change throwing any notion of punning out the window.

“Well, there’s one thing we could do,” she said, excitedly, zipping buzzing around “If he wears a miraculous, he'll return back to human form while transformed,”

Marinette perked up at the idea, but confusion soon overtook her features, “But Tikki, most of the miraculous are bigger than he is,”

Tikki waved her away,” It’s fine it’ll work,”

“Ok,” Marinette said after a bit of thought. She stood and he followed while she started climbing down her skylight,” I’m thinking you can try each of them out for different patrols and then we’ll see which one matches you best. This could be fun, having some fun sized company while figuring out how to defeat Hawkmoth,”

He laughed, flying near her ear, “Fun sized, huh? I’ll have you know I’m considered tall in human form, unlike some of us,”

She laughed and rolled her still tear stained eyes, and so, the beginning of a bee-autiful friendship bloomed.

Marinette walked to her closet and Jason took in her room. It was very pink, but in a well-balanced way - it wasn’t completely overbearing. His eye caught on a few pictures of Adrien Agreste on her wall but figured now wouldn’t be a great time to bring it up. (Look he’s already more emotionally aware, #foreshadowing of character development)

She removed a big box from her closet. She opened it and it was filled with what appeared to be a bunch of scrap materials. At the bottom she removed a bigger bundle of black and red fabric and he flew closer.

She put it in her lap and Jason had to do a double take when he realized that her hands were glowing and what the actual fuck- it was a box now -fuck fuck fuck- why was it a box? How? What- Jason was pretty sure he did not sign up for this.

She put the box down in front of her and to his relief she opened her mouth to speak as she lifted the lid, so he’d understand everyth- and its jewellery.

The box contained jewellery. Animal themed jewellery by the looks of things.

He then realized that these were probably the other miraculous.

She looked over each artefact before handing him the yellow and black hairclip.

Out of all of them, she picked the bee miraculous.

“Hilarious,” he replied dryly, giving her a look, he realized too late she wouldn’t be able to register- on account of, well you know… (if u don’t know by now, you don’t get to find out anymore)

She gave him a grin and replied, “I certainly think it is,”

Her teasing expression turned into one of worry, “I mean we could switch it out if it makes you uncomfortable-,” (being a sassy people pleaser with no filters really do be like this tho)

He laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing. What do I do?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer before obviously realizing that she didn’t have an answer. She turned to Tikki and the kwami had a fond smile on her face before turning to Jason. (Just Tikki casually mentor- moming Mari because Fu is useless)

“Just step on the miraculous, it’ll sense that you’re human,” the creature replied.

When he stepped onto the bee miraculous, its kwami appeared.

Pollen stared at him for a few seconds before she realized what was happening.

After an explanation about her power set and what exactly he could do in suit, he transformed.

He felt his human body appearing. He was taller and more built than he remembered being. His flying clearly had physical consequences then, not that he was complaining.

His suit included a pair of bee wings. His hair was longer than he remembered it being too.

He had a black leather jacket and combat boots. With it was a pair of practical black leggings and a yellow t-shirt with three thick black stripes. (The three stripes represent each one of his families, the Todds, the Waynes and The Dupain-Chengs, because I can) He also had a pair of black gloves. His boots had yellow laces. On his face was a black and yellow striped domino mask. The top sat on his hip. The bee miraculous sat on the middle of his chest in the form of a broach.

He all but sprinted to the mirror. He stared at his face, his blue eyes and his nose that never healed quite right after breaking it that one time. His black hair was messy and stuck up every which way, his cheekbones were as high as always, and he had a little bit of stubble and it was so familiar and so new all at once.

He touched his face, barely registering the tears flowing down his cheeks and laughed in relief. He was human again. This was real! He could- he was closer to normal than he ever thought he’d get to be.

He turned to Marinette who was staring up at him in shock. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing in joy. And after a moment she joined in. He put her down and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling widely, “Thank you. Thank you so much,”

She smiled up at him, a slightly sad look on her face, “I’m sorry, it’s not permanent,”

“Don’t be sorry. For the first time I have hope. It will be permanent eventually, and till then, I have you with me, right?” he squeezed her shoulder, still high on the feeling of hope and warmth and familiarity.

When he was overcome with the sudden urge to pull her into a hug, he didn’t resist.

He held her close, resting his chin on her head, “Damn, I missed this. Hugging, I mean. I haven’t... it’s been so long,” (not that he got all that many hugs from Bruce “emotionally constipated” Wayne)

She wrapped her arms around him, “I can imagine,”

They stood there a while before the time for patrol came along. She transformed and they made their way to the Eiffel tower, where they met Chat.

The cat themed hero rose his brow questioningly, “I thought we didn’t recruit new heroes unless it was an emergency?”

Ladybug smiled nonchalantly, “It’s Guardian business, he’s gonna be a permanent fixture in our team for at least a few months so we might as well get used to working as a team,”

Chat Noir eyed him wearily and he stepped forward, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Blackback, nice to meet you,”

Chat Noir shook his hand and gave Ladybug a sceptical look, “An American? Really?”

“Please Chat, he's not American, it’s just the glamour hiding his actual accent,” she replied simply, shooting Jason a worried look.

He couldn’t give away his identity, but he was also technically a bee, he didn’t really have an identity to give away. So, her behaviour was strange. Unless she wanted to give him an identity somehow?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of patrol.

When they got home Marinette revealed that she wanted to give him the fox miraculous. If they asked Trixx she would be able to design the costume in a way that allowed him to look like a normal civilian, without the mask.

Trixx's glamour was also stronger than the rest so his true identity as Jason Todd would be protected.

And she could help him fake an accent.

Since Marinette was a year younger than him he could just pick up where he left off school wise.

She convinced her parents that he was an exchange student in desperate need of a place to stay because the person he would’ve stayed with backed out last minute.

They agreed easily and Jason decided to not question it.

It was his third family. His second if you only counted non abusive ones. First if you wanted one with a healthy family dynamic.

They got him a fake birth certificate and name. He went with the alias Thomas Grayson. He thought it was kind of funny, and it paid homage to both Bruce and Dick. It gave him something from home to hold on to. (Jason isn’t really salty about not being avenged in this au, he didn’t die and Talia and the pit madness wasn’t there to egg on his anger. But maybe if I ever get back to this au we could do a thing with it… guess we’ll have to wait and see ;-) no promises tho)

He built himself another home with Marinette and her family. And before he knew it, he was happy again. He felt secure.

Through the weeks, he ingrained himself into Marinette's life. In a blink of an eye, they were best friends, and he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He loved living with her family as she trained to be strong enough to turn him back to normal.

He grew close to Marinette’s friends and was her shoulder to cry on about Adrien. He and Adrien got along pretty well, and he and Marc and Rose traded Literature jokes. Max would join in when it involved Shakespeare.

Then Lila happened. (She’s a staple in Maribat fiction. U can’t have Maribat without Lila. Or well u can but that’s usually a very specific au)

Her lies started out simple enough. Then she started manipulating everyone and he, Marinette, Chloe and Adrien were one scheme away from being ostracized. They sat in the back row.

They ignored her sneers and let her lie to her heart’s content. Then one day she said something that made both Marinette and Jason freeze.

“You know, I was childhood friends with Jason Todd (I know she usually gets the names wrong but like her knowing the name just makes this next bit better) You know, Bruce Wayne’s ward who died a while ago? It was just so sad. He grew up in a nice family but his parents both died in a car accident and Brucie took pity on him. He even let us keep in contact afterwards, since our parents were such good friends. We all miss them dearly of course. We were neighbours the year we lived in Gotham, you know? We'd play every day-,” she started fake crying, “Oh it just gets too much sometimes,”

But to Jason’s shock Alya didn’t move to console Lila, in fact, she was staring at the brunette in shock.

He turned his gaze to Marinette to see the girl wearing the biggest, coldest, most satisfied smirk. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned at Lila in a way that made shivers go down his spine.

He turned back, this ought to be good.

And it was.

Alya absolutely lost it.

She ripped Lila a new one and frankly? Jason was impressed. (Alya has a temper and she’s a fangirl, and we all know how we get when someone gets something wrong about one of our hyperfixations, even if it’s an old one so like yall can imagine how bad Lila had fucked up)

When an akuma flew in towards Lila, Alya grabbed it, staring the girl down with a fury he didn’t know she could possess, “Don’t you dare! Do you think I’m blind? I’ve seen how easily you get akumatized and this time I’m not letting it happen!”

Of course, Alya then got akumatized but hey it beat another version of Lila.

Everyone made up but they weren’t quite as close as before. Their group tended to consist mostly out of him, Marinette, Chloe, Adrien, Kagami and Luka.

Other than that incident and akuma attacks, life was pretty good.

In fact, it was great.

He and Marinette would spend nights on her balcony, laughing and slow dancing. They star gazed and went on patrols. He helped her when she got nightmares and she returned the favour. They went on long walks and spent the holidays together. They crammed for tests and he played model for her designs. They worked in the bakery and hung out with their friends both in and out of suit. They’d joke about his technical bee-ness and he and Chat drove her mad with puns. In retaliation she’d introduce him as her bee friend to people or only give him honey and bee themed things. (ok this sentence sounds weird but I mean like when she brings them sweets from the bakery to snack on while working and stuff.)

And one laugh, memory and fight at a time, he started to fall. (I just want good things for Jason, and really can you blame me?)

Through the months, he kept up to date on the news about Bruce Wayne and Marinette held his hand each time a new kid joined his brood. She reminded him that no child could be replaced and reassured him that of course Bruce would want him back when they figured everything out.

And if he didn’t, she’d kick his ass into space, and he’d stay with her family in Paris- a family she made sure he knew he was a part of.

He helped Sabine in the kitchen and was the only one who came closest to beating Marinette’s Ultimate Mega Strike 3 record. Tom taught him to shave and bake. He was integrated into their family and they treated him as part of the family.

But even if they were giving him everything they were, he missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. And Barbara. And Gotham. He missed them all so much. He missed home.

So, 14 months later, when Marinette told him they had a meeting with the Justice League about the Hawkmoth situation, Jason felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” he asked softly, his eyes brimming with tears (Marinette taught him how to emotion, you see. So Jason is emotionally stable-ish enough to cry without feeling embarrassed about it), “I get to see him again?”

Marinette nodded and hugged him from behind, “I’m planning on telling him what happened. Is there anything you can tell him to verify who you are?”

Memories from a million years ago entered his mind, “Yes,”

She took his hand and took a step back, “And I think I can fix you before we go, I’m strong enough. But I’d still like your help in the final battle, I mean I know you’re going home but...,”

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled, “Of course, Pixie. I’ll always be there for you when you need me,”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a movement so familiar it was practically a part of him. He pulled her close and cried into her hair.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” he asked softly, after a while, resting his chin on top of her head.

“He will,” she replied, tightening her grip around his waist.

They both knew she had no guarantee of that. That she had no way of knowing for sure. Neither of them did. And it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The next day they do the magic turning back thing. It freaks him out quite a bit but not as much as her revealing the miraculous freaked him out the first time, you get kinda used to the magic shenaniganary. They’re both passed out for an hour afterwards and when they wake up, he holds her, crying, because he was finally, finally back to normal and this was real and permanent, and it was over.

She cried with him and held him, and they then went out and he wore a shirt she made for him, and they got ice cream the next day. They celebrated some more and went to the park with the squad and they had a picnic.

It was better than he ever could've imagined.

While the sun was setting, they stood back on her balcony, where they first spoke all those months ago, slow dancing. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her as the orange light of the sunset shone on them. (So aesthetic)

“Thank you, Marinette, for everything,” he says as he rubs his thumb across her cheek. His hand holding her face. She puts her hand over his and closes her eyes, savouring the moment.

She opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’d do it again and more, if it meant I’d get to be with you,”

He started leaning down, “If I lost you, I’d fly all over the world just to find you again,”

She raised to her tip toes, faces millimetres from one another, blue bells meeting ice, “So it was all worth it in the end?”

He moves closer, eyes searching hers. “Definitely,” he breathes.

She closes the distance, and he picks her up and spins her around. They break apart and their laughter fills the air.

(now that’s enough fluff, allow me to drown you in angst)

The next day they stood on the Eiffel tower. She took his hand, “Let’s recap. I go in, we have our Hawkmoth meeting, then I ask if I can speak to Batman and Nightwing alone. Then I tell them I found you, then I give them – are you sure it’s necessary for me to give them your blood, hair and a cheek swab? Isn’t that overkill?” (Batman is serious about his no kill rule, but he’s also serious about his there’s no such thing as overkill rule)

He shook his head and she sighed, “Okay. Then I give him means to contact me and I come back. Now remember they might take a while to process and they won’t necessarily call immediately-,”

“What if they never call?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

She ran her finger softly through his hair, “Then you have us to help you get through it,”

He nodded, she kissed his cheek and stepped through the portal with Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Viperion. He and Ryuuko stayed behind as backup, he wielded the Fox miraculous these days, but kept the name Blackback, always wearing a black leather jacket no matter the transformation.

He and Ryuko discussed fighting styles, she was kindly trying to distract him, and if it had been anything else he needed distracting from, it would’ve worked.

So passed the slowest forty-five minutes of his life. Chat Noir and Queen Bee exit a portal and so the wait for Marinette and Luka began.

She and Bruce were talking now. Bruce would know he was alive. This was make or break for him. Luka was nearby to act as back up worst-case scenario.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, followed by someone taking and rubbing circles on his back. He looked down to see Ryuuko on his one side and saw Chat Noir on his other.

“We’ve got you,” Chloe said standing in front of him, hand on his unoccupied shoulder.

He swallowed and nodded. She squeezed his upper arm and met his gaze, “Breathe, you’re safe, honey,”

So, 30 more minutes pass. They sit down and somewhere along the line Chat goes and grabs a dozen croissants from the bakery.

In another situation he might’ve laughed. He’d baked this morning’s batch and now he got to eat some of it for free, of course, technically he could get others for free too but-

The portal opened behind them and Ladybug and Viperion stepped out. He noted that she didn’t have the bag of his DNA with her anymore.

She smiled softly at him, “Now we wait,”

And wait they did.

They waited two weeks.

And then the burner phone that's number they'd given Bruce rang.

Jason froze, Marinette jumped up and ran to get it.

He couldn't move as she walked over and put the phone on speaker, she grabbed his hand and he held onto her for dear life.

"We can both hear you now, Nightwing," she said.

There was a beat of silence on the other side of the line, "Can he- If you're- can I speak to him? In- um- private?"

Marinette looked at him, and he nodded. She took the phone off speaker and handed it to him.

He held it up to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the circles Marinette were drawing on his hand with her thumb.

"He- hey Dick," he said. He heard his brother's breathing hitch, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"When did Batman find you?"

"25th May 2017,"

"Who's your favourite author?"

"Mary Shelley tied with Jane Austin,” he replied.

Dick stayed silent for too long and before he could stop himself the words fell from his mouth, desperation clinging to each syllable,” My favourite- my favourite playwright is Shakespeare, and my favourite school subject is English. If I could pick any day job it would be being a writer. My favourite colour is blue. Alfred has a secret fear of dolphins. You have had a ridiculously huge crush on Barbara for years and she had no idea, and I found a picture you drew under your old room's bedside table of you two getting married. I folded the picture up and hid it in a small box of memories I kept in the farthest corner of my closet under clothes I never wore. I have a round scar on the lower left side of my back where Willis Todd burned me with a cigarette when I was 5 that you don’t know I know you know about. My first Christmas at the manor you found me in the rose garden cutting a few off to take to my mother's grave and I was terrified that you would yell at me but instead you drove me to the graveyard and that was the day I decided to give you a real chance. I despise carrots but I eat them when Alfred makes them because I don't want to be a burden. And I-," he choked on a sob- when had he started crying?

He took a shuddering breath, and swallowed some of his tears, trying to make sure the words got out right, "I've missed you guys for every single second that I've been gone,"

His stomach tied itself up in a million knots as the silence stretched on. He could hear Dick moving the phone.

"Can I speak to Ladybug again please?" A female voice he didn't recognize said.

He handed the phone to Marinette and pressed his hand over his mouth to try to contain the sobs. He felt like a knife was twisting his stomach. He couldn't even hear what Marinette was saying. (I’m going through something irl and as a result u guys get to read angst by the bucketloads and I regret nothing)

Dick didn't want to talk to him. He should've just answered the question, he shouldn't have given all the extra information. Now they were never going to believe that it's really him and he would never see them again. Maybe they knew it was him and they just didn't want him-

"Jason, breathe with me," he heard Marinette's voice. His eyes latched onto hers like a lifeline, he became aware of her hands holding his.

She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, in a motion so familiar that it came as easy as breathing. Well as easy as it usually was to breathe, right now excluded.

After he calmed down, she explained to him what they discussed. They would go to Gotham and meet and discuss things from there.

They wanted to meet him, but they still didn’t completely believe that it was him. He knew this for a fact because they had organized for M’gann to be there to confirm what he was saying. (Yassss M'gann my darling girl, I adore out lil Martian)

Marinette had suggested that they meet in the Batcave in an hour. Everyone had agreed. He assumed she had a plan as to why she wanted to wait. And he trusted her, so he waited for her to explain.

“I want to take the team, as backup. If you’re not comfortable with it, I want to at least take Luka. I would suggest just letting one of us wield is miraculous, but his Second Chance Timer limit is an hour so it would be most beneficial,” she said, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

He nodded, sitting up straighter, but not releasing his grip on her hand, “We can bring the team, it’s smart to have backup. Besides if things go haywire, we have Luka to stop us.”

“Then let’s go get our team, love,”

(oh, I should probably mention that only he and LB knows everyone’s Identities. Or well rather no one knows like officially. Like everyone lowkey knows everyone's and a few of them have officially revealed themselves to each other, but not everyone is officially revealed to everyone and Mari and Jason are the only ones who aren’t officially revealed to anyone else, it’s kinda like the vibes of knowing your best friend is queer but not saying anything because they haven’t officially come out yet but like you know because they ain’t nearly as subtle as they think. Like that aesthetic.)

Anyway, 50 minutes later, they’re all gathered on the Eiffel Tower. Jason saw Marinette give Luka a nod to reset his timer. Suddenly he was enveloped in a light with a scratch that wasn’t there a few seconds before on his cheek, his expression quite annoyed.

Marinette immediately furrowed her brows, “How many times?”

Viperion shook his head, “Don’t worry, only one so far, but they try to restrain us. We’re gonna have to try plan b this time,” Everyone nodded, they waited two minutes before the agreed upon time and Mari opened a portal, but instead of appearing out in the opened, they hid in the shadowy parts of the cave.

Jason used his illusion to hide them from any observant eyes and they spread out a bit. He and Mari stayed together, Cloe flew to get a higher perspective and hide Viperion on one of the cave’s many ledges while Chat just moved a few feet away to have a slightly different hiding spot. Kagami dropped into her wind form and was flying above them to eavesdrop, she’d go to Luka if she heard anything of importance so he could go restart again.

They’d be one step ahead of the Bats no matter what they pulled, after all, they had all the time in the world.

They watched them all get into position as time neared. Jason didn’t know all the kids but recognized them from the news.

Dick, Bruce and M’gann stood near the bat computer with Barbara – who was in a wheelchair but that was a realization to deal with later- and Alfred.

The minute they were supposed to appear Jason cast another illusion to make it appear as though they had arrived. As expected, weapons and restraints immediately swarmed on them, each kid going for a different miraculous member. Too bad the images turned into orange dust as soon as they touched them.

The tiny one in the Robin uniform was red in the face and immediately started throwing a tantrum, “Father! They’ve tricked us-,”

Before he could get another word out, Chloe mass-venomed the horde of kids that we’re sent to attack them. He counted Black bat, Red Robin, Batgirl, Signal and Robin. They were all frozen in the middle of the room and before the others near the computer could move, Kagami trapped them in a (rather large) ring of fire. They had enough space to move around comfortably but if they tried approaching the edge the flames would grow larger.

Batman growled and his eyes searched through the cave, but he wouldn’t see them, no matter how hard he searched.

Jason stared at them. Dick was also searching the cave, but he seemed to look more hopeful than angry. Alfred seemed his usual calm self and Barbara was glancing around the cave more subtly. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the batkids because M’gann was staring right at him, staying right where she was despite her ability to fly.

“Hi, Jason,” she softly spoke into his mind, he felt emotion overwhelm him, she’d known him before everything, and she knew it was him and it was a lot.

He knew she wasn’t probing around his brain for information like he was sure Bruce had asked her to, she didn’t have to, she knew it was him.

“Can you please tell me why we’re surrounded by fire?” she asked.

“We have a time traveller,” he replied.

“Ah, not a fan of Bruce’s restrain and question method, then? Can’t say I blame you, though I do think you’ve proven your point,”

“You really think it’s a good idea to release all of them?” he asked sceptically.

“… Good point. Maybe leave the brood in the middle in whatever frozen state they’re in and just let us in the fire out. They really just think it’s too good to be true… Jason, I won’t let them hurt you,”

“Okay,” he agreed softly. He turned to Marinette and gave her a slight nod. She returned with one of her own.

They walked over to Kagami’s ring of fire and he held their illusion until they were right in front of it. He held on to it for a bit to make sure everyone else would be able to stay in position. Chloe would keep the cavalry venomized and Chat and Viperion would stick to the shadows, unless necessary.

Jason dropped the illusion and watched four heads snap to him. M'gann simply gave him a soft smile and a nod of encouragement.

Kagami moved herself to stand next to Marinette and turned back into her human form, glaring at them with a silent warning.

Their attention was elsewhere, though. For a long time they just stood there and stared at one another in silence. They studied every part of one another they could see.

His eyes caught on Barbara’s wheelchair and he felt ready to destroy whatever put her there. She met his eyes and he held her gaze. She must’ve seen something there because she gave a small smile as she allowed a few tears to escape her eyes.

“Miss Martian?” Batman broke the silence like a cheap dinner plate, shattering it in a matter of seconds.

“It’s him,” M’gann answered without a hint of hesitation.

It was Alfred that moved first. He took a few hesitant steps towards him and before Jason knew it the man was in front of him. Alfred reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, desperately studying him for a moment before pulling him into a hug only Alfred could give.

It took Jason a moment to respond but when he did he returned it wholeheartedly.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and it took him a moment to realize that they’d both started crying. When he looked up Dick was only a few feet away. The moment Alfred stepped away Dick pulled him close.

“I thought you were dead, kid. I thought I’d never see you again, I thought I lost even more family. You were too young, too innocent. Fuck Jason,” Dick whispered, tightening his grip, “I’m so glad you’re alive,”

Jason held on to his brother and that night they cried about terrible endings and broken beginnings. They cried about lost time and found family.

It wasn’t the end yet, Hawkmoth was still terrorizing Paris and he had no idea what Bruce thought yet. There were all his other kids, his brothers and sisters. There were his teammates and the incredible story of how he’d been turned into a bee of all things.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

But just for a moment, a strand of a singular moment, he had his brother in his arms again and he was back home. His first real home.

Things weren’t perfect, as things rarely are but it didn’t matter. Because part of the beauty of life is how it builds and breaks us in a cycle of love and loss.

And that night they laughed with a lightness and joy none of them had fully been able to hold onto in years.

I hope you guys enjoyed!

This is lowkey totally gonna be the au I go to when I don’t know what to write lol, maybe write a bit of what happens afterwards or a part of everything during the year he lived with Mari them or just y’know shenanigans

#maribat #jason todd #marinette dupain cheng #jasonette #bee movie au #aka the deep dark hole within the deep dark hole #I've been working on this for a month #probably more #my brain held me captive with this au it held me at gunpoint and stalked me and wouldn't leave me alone until i wrote it #me: casually attempting to write anything else #my brain: *slaps me with ideas for this* NO #and the worst part is there's more that's not written just bull my brain came up with #and i can't believe I put angsty life philosophy writing in a CRACK AU #THIS IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF A CRACK AU #WHY #I AM SO INVESTED AND I'M MAD ABOUT IT #i enjoyed writing this and that fact alone infuriates me #blame moonie for this #and u know what blame bugabunny too #(fuck i hope i got their name right)#if it hadn't been for the two of them discussing this again i would've forgotten all about it and i woulda been allowed to write #my kaldur x marinette fic in peace. or my lila time loop fic. OR LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE #anyway i tried to make his outfit red hood esque but like only the parts i liked about it #aka the leather jacket and the combat boots #I don't know how i feel about the fact that i wrote this but what's done is done #*sigh*#jason x marinette #why me #nightwing fluff #but also angst

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frogboy0 · 3 years

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Amphibia season 1 rewatch + notes :)

So I just finished rewatching the ENTIRE season 1 of Amphibia and I have some notes on the episodes that stood out to me! There are some quick notes, a couple lengthy analyses and even some headcanons sprinkled in! It's like a written stew of season 1! I'll be doing a written Amphiba stew for season 2 too!!

It's kinda long so you could just skip this or hit the keep reading button and give it a read!

S1: E2 Cane Crazy

Anne shows general disregard over other people's things

(Mimicking Hop Pop and breaking his cane, throwing all the wood carving things that Loggle made, even a coo coo clock that she even said was nice (And for him to say it took 20 years to make right after she broke it))

S1: E2 Flood, Sweat and Tears

Anne would be the WORST during sleepovers and I LOVE IT!!! My girl is just being a tween, staying up late, playing would you rather and keeping everyone else up. I think that's ADORABLE and now I'm thinking about how sleepovers might've been back home with her, Sasha and Marcy…

She also just stays up late in general?? She reads dumb magazines and eats CRUNCHY snacks. She is really just 13,,,

And it looks like Sprig does it too, not as much as Anne (probably because he is younger than her) but it seems like it has to be in his terms. Before, he looked to be annoyed with it when he was trying to sleep. But, if he was awake, like in the beginning or at the end of the episode, he had no problem staying up playing would you rather!!!

S1: E3 Hop Luck

Anne: Old things are dumb!

And

Anne:* violently GRABS Sprig and shoves him against the wall* don't you DARE talk about pineapple in my pizza… Ever…

Anne:

Sprig:

Anne: Okay! Let's go get these ingredients!

HHHH ANNE!!! I love this funky little child SO MUCH!!!

Hop Pop loves these kids so much that he was willing to put aside his old, traditional family recipes in exchange for making pizza with them. My heart is gonna explode I'm-

Anne please don't make your surrogate frog brother get married just to get some pizza dough I'M BEGGING YOU-

S1: E3 Stakeout

Hop Pop: I'm a crisp 68!

Is Hop Pop actually 68 or does he mean more of 68 going on 80 68? Either way he looks great!

Anne has Blam Berry Blitz ("the drink that punches you in the face and doesn't stop") in her bag along with all the OTHER stuff we already saw (air pump, toe nail clipper, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs, etc)

Anne is officially those friends that have EVERYTHING in their bag no matter what.

I really like the relationship between Anne and Hop Pop, how they both in some way yearn for what was but in different ways (Anne wanting to go home and Hop Pop's olden ways when he was a little pollywog) but are still similar in how they try to remember. They try and try and try to keep what little family/friends they have safe and protected. They love the relationships they've formed with other people (And with each other) and would go great lengths to help and protect them!

Also I MAY be looking way too into it buuuut was Boulder-Tron (that rock dude that Polly hallucinated at the end) supposed to foreshadow Frobo??

S1: E4 Taking Charge

Okay quick one, Anne nearly having a whole ass panic attack when her phone dies because she couldn't look at her photos or videos of home actually made me sad. This girl is only a CHILD and her entire home and everything is gone and she for real thought she couldn't ever get it back,,,

Hop Pop: I mean, the part where the island itself is revealed to actually be…!

Sprig: No!

Polly: Don't!

Anne: Spoilers

I dunno why and again, I MIGHT BE LOOKING TOO DEEPLY INTO THIS, but maybe this is foreshadowing something with the land of Amphibia? That maybe there is more to this crazy land than we know? Maybe even a reason it, along with all the other universes even exists???

S1: E5 Breakout Star

AHSBWJOA ONLY EPISODE 5 AND ANNE ALREADY HAS HER PHONE'S LOCK SCREEN OF THE PLANTER FAMILY I'M-

S1: E7 Dating Season

Anne said that ⅔ of ALL soul mates start out as "just friends"

…

I'm looking at you, team Sashannarcy

S1: E7 Anne vs. Wild

Hop Pop's behavior at the end of the episode when Anne finally shows them the calamity box is awfully sus…

He doesn't say anything but "may I?" To inspect the box and then is like "Nope, never seen it" I just feel like he knows something and then adding onto it with the whole burying it to protect his family just sounds like… he definitely knows something, maybe not a lot but there is something he's not telling the others

Also, why would a book that HE has have information on the Calamity box??

(I fully support the Dr. P was a Planter and also possibly the pink frog who was friends with King Andrias theory)

S1: E10 Toad Tax

At this point, Anne said that she has already been in Amphibia for over a month now.

(And damn, Sasha's been in prison for like a month,,, yikes)

Also Hop Pop teaching Anne how to pay taxes is so adorable, she really is part of this family now guys,,,

And I love how Anne was able to win over the Wartwood people by being her natural, charming and not to mention caring self. Anne, like Marcy and Sasha, can be selfish because honestly what kid, especially a 13 year old, isn't.

But what matters is that she always tries to make up for it.

Yes she did join the arguably sketchy toads into getting the taxes from everyone in order to feel somewhat included in ANYTHING, but while she was doing it, she knew it was wrong. Anne knew it was wrong and tried to give back some of the stolen stuff. Hell, even at the end she risked her safety to protect people she felt didn't even LIKE her, like, Anne literally broke her arm from them because that's just how Anne is.

S1: E10 Prison Break

I always forget how like,,, SUPER cunning Sasha is. I mean, she was able to talk FIVE toads into quitting within a WEEK as a PRISONER. Like??

Grime: That's not a bird. It's a heron, a murderous predator that happens to love the taste of flesh

Sasha: Cute

The lines in this show I'M-

So Anne was a varsity tennis player and Sasha was a cheerleader and did Tai Chi. I still can't believe they were both jocks,,,

(Well, Sasha I get but Anne? Sweet ol' lil baby with the lanky limbs Anne???)

Hey um, why the FUCK does Grime have acid spit?

Sasha: *looking at photo of her, Anne, and Marcy* Hold on for a little longer, girls. I'm coming for you. And when I find you, we're gonna get home. But first, I think we're gonna have some fun with this place

Okay so this line right here. Now I may not be even remotely correct but this line, this last piece of dialogue spoken by Sasha right before the episode ends leads me to believe that she… doesn't take this world seriously.

At least not yet.

I think the 3 girls all see Amphibia differently: Anne as more of an obstacle, a wall preventing her from being home, Marcy sees it as an escape from her life with constant stimuli, and Sasha, she sees it as just really another thing to control. Everyone and their mothers know that Sasha can be a little more than controlling and we all know that she liked being lieutenant just a little too much.

This world is interesting to Sasha, not in the interesting that Anne sees it (who is interesting in the new people and the relationships she's formed) or Marcy (who is also interested in the relationships she's formed along with the thirst for knowledge and again, the constant stimuli in an environment where she isn't stifled and allowed to flourish).

No, Sasha sees Amphibia as interesting because it gives her something to control. In a world that is not your own, a world that you will leave eventually, who would actually FOLLOW the rules put in place there? Especially a 13 year old who is basically like a war commander who, even if she does do something wrong or breaks a rule or two, the only person who might even dare to stop her is Grime, and even then, he might just encourage it because it is season 1 and they aren't that close and he doesn't really care for Sasha at this point.

She also is actually very logical. Everything she does in Amphibia, all the morally questionable things she does, it is always for the same reason (or at least at first), to get her and her girls home. Wanting to sacrifice and kill Hop Pop at the end of season 1? Well The toads had promised if she helped, they'll help her find Marcy and bring the 3 of them home. She cares for Anne and Marcy SO MUCH that she is willing to go great lengths to help keep them safe.

But even though Sasha didn't really care about anyone in Amphibia besides Anne and Marcy at first, it doesn't mean she won't ever. We see countless times throughout season 2 of Sasha caring. She feels regret with her impending betrayal on Anne and Marcy, she cares enough to try and warn Anne about King Andrias' evil plans. Hell, even in the season 3 intro we see her and Grime at Wartwood and it looks like they're gonna be starting another rebellion against the king to help all the amphibians in Amphibia.

I just really like watching Sasha's appearance and knowing what will happen in the future with her character.

S1: E13 Trip to the Archives

Anne: I get this place. It's like a library from my world. Zoo books and manga, here I come!

So whenever Anne goes to the library, presumably with Sasha and Marcy, she'd go straight to books on animals and manga probably while Marcy did whatever work they needed (if Anne's dialogue in season 2 with Marcy always doing the work for their group projects was anything to go off on)

I dunno, I think that's kinda cute that Anne liked reading books on animals and probably reading all the manga that Marcy recommended.

Maybe Anne and Sasha would sit right next to each other while Marcy worked and read fun manga together and cackle with each other while Marcy tried SO HARD to concentrate and NOT infodump to them because she's read that specific manga 20 times and HAVE YOU GOTTEN TO THAT ONE PART WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER GOES-

S1: E15 Wally and Anne

MOSS MAN!!

When Anne wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to grab Wally at town square, her hood is up and it's dark. The only thing we can make out of her face are…

Glowing blue eyes.

Glowing eyes that share an uncanny resemblance to the moss men.

And Anne loves doing elaborate, silly handshakes? That's so CUTE! Too bad none of her friends liked them as much as she did :(

When they finally reached the foggy mountain place, Anne noticed glowing blue butterflies and started to follow them, which led her right to the moss man.

WAIT ANNE ALSO DID ROCK CLIMBING BACK HOME?? FUCKING JOCK!!!

S1 E20 Reunion

Okay I WAS about to say that there wasn't anything to say about this last episode that hasn't already been said before BUT

The last couple moments, when Anne is holding Sasha off the cliff and trying to pull her up with the Planters, there's a couple interesting shots that I would like to talk about.

While the Planters were holding onto Anne, they say things like "Hang on, Anne! We got you no matter what!"

And even when the stone cliff starts to chip and break, none of the frogs back off, they don't loosen their grips, they just keep holding onto Anne.

And they will never let go.

Because they love her. Because in only 3 months, Anne was able to get a surrogate frog family and dozens of other frog friends in Wortwood. Because Anne has this amazing support system both literally and metaphorically. Because Anne is Anne. And Sasha...

Isn't like Anne.

Matt Bradly himself even said that both Sasha and Anne are different from Anne, Anne is the heart, the emotional connection in their logical worlds. Anne can make so many friends so easily and Sasha… Sasha became a war genral, she lost a fight against the one person who she thought would never fight back.

Sasha doesn't have what Anne has. She doesn't have the kind of skills to make such strong relationships, the kind where you risk your life for the other, in such a short amount of time.

Hell, they even play a song called "Lean on Me", Anne has people to lean on and they would lean on her just the same. She found these people, made these friends, formed amazing relationships, in only THREE months.

"Maybe you're better off without me"

And Sasha was only dragging her down.

Sasha loves Anne, she cares for her and would do anything to protect her. That's why she let go. She didn't want to drag Anne down, to hurt her more than she already has.

Sasha would do anything for Anne, even die.

Over all notes:

Season 1 is SUPER FUNNY!! The lines hit and they don't rely on toilet humor to get the audience to laugh. They use great one liners and physical humor that isn't fart or butt jokes. They do an excellent job on showing how crazy the world of Amphibia is through humor like how the animals are always eating each other.

I really like how the characters were crafted so carefully! And the storyline!!! You could notice things that get explored in season 2 and I can't WAIT to see how many bread crumbs were left to lead up to season 3!

HOW DOES ANNE KEEP SO MANY THINGS IN HER BOOK BAG???

That stuff is in her SCHOOL BAG, why would she bring it to school??? So far I've got an air pump, toe nail clippers, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs and an energy drink. WHY??? I wonder if she held on to any of Sasha or Marcy's things too or ever forgot to give them back

Also again, I'M STILL IN SHOCK OF ANNE BEING A JOCK. I don't even know why I am, I knew she played sports and stuff it's just,,, she's so lanky,,,

Her and Sasha are jock buddies and WILL shove other jocks in lockers if they ever pick on their nerd Marcy.

I also am in LOVE with Hop Pop's screams lmao

Be ready for an analysis of season 2!

#amphibia #anne boonchuy #hopadiah plantar #hop pop #sprig planter #polly planter #sasha waybright #Marcy wu #season 1 #analysis #my ramblings

32 notes · View notes

trashdeviant · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2

Venom/Eddie x Reader

Tw: cussing

Your fists are trembling before you realize that you were clenching them enough to dig into the palm of your hands. As much as you considered laying your hands down flat to calm down, you could only unclench them in a gesture of stress before balling them up again. You had barely made it outside of the building when you rested your back against the wall.

“Fuck…” You rasp.

It was so infuriating when he decided to come at you with this passive-aggressive shit. Almost like he saw you as the problem. He loved Jessie and really missed having that shit-faced motherfucker in your life. Raf acts as if you betrayed him when you decide that you never wanted to come in contact with that childish low-life. You had plenty of names for Jess, but you really needed to shake them out of your head for now. This is about Raf stepping out of line with you.

Good. Great. Wonderful.

You felt like so much shit at the moment. Whenever things got rough you would always storm into the apartment to hug him and cuddle until he helped you calm down. A searing hot tear glided down your cheek, although your face was emotionless. It hurts.

Hurts to know that you couldn’t go to him this time. This is what you get when you refuse to spend time outside of your home. You’re not really sure how long this was going to last either. But you were as stubborn as you were torn between apologizing and finding another place to sleep tonight.

Finally your brows invert in anguish and you look up in a poor attempt to stop the tears from pouring. Your arms felt as heavy as your chest. It’s times like these that make you wonder if Raf even liked being your friend.

“You don’t get to fucking call me that…” It was more of a breath than a whisper, but it was an effort to try to keep youself from spiralling into thoughts that degraded you into thinking this was all your fault and that you were a terrible person.

Maybe you were, but at the moment you weren’t in the mood to hear it from yourself. Growing up you had to teach yourself to keep out of that spiral or you would do something drastic. It doesn’t always succeed and yet it was at least an effort being made.

This time your brows furrow as you aggressively wipe away tears on either side of your face before cracking your knuckles. You need to try to ground yourself and shake off some bad thoughts before you could hear them. That sounded weird. Now you rush out of the area to keep your mind running just as you were rather than focus on the bad thoughts. Sometimes you would pace around the apartment when you were alone just to think of things to defend yourself or think up whatever you could for a distraction. The latter being less useful than the first.

Right now you were jogging across the street to head to whatever seemed familiar. You had to be careful as you had the tendency to get side tracked and get a little lost in a street you rarely traveled.

Raf had no place to guilt trip you into even being friends with someone that cheated on you. Jess could never gather enough humanity to even acknowledge what you had gone through in that relationship. ‘Yeah I understand your decision…’ you scoff at the thought. Raf told you all sorts of shit like that after the break up. A few months later and Raf develops this little habit of scaring off anyone you would bring around him and later talk up your ex like a car salesman. You still haven’t felt like you needed to talk to Jess. As a matter of fact, you owed neither of them anything. Regardless of the fact that you three used to be an inseparable trio.

You grit your teeth.

Rafael is a selfish naive piece of shit if he thinks he will ever get you to crack and open up your life to that whore. You are not obligated to talk to them; that is that. If Raf can’t come to peace with you cutting a whole motherfucker out of your life then that was his own problem.

Fuck.

“Fuck!” You grunted silently to yourself-punching a nearby surface that seemed to be a wall.

The mere voice in your head that reminded you of his constant excuse made you cringe in a sudden wave of anger. ‘I’m stuck in the middle’, was short for, “You’re not being fair! Stop being the problem and make up with Jess so I can enjoy myself in the presence of both of you!”

First of all-Raf isn’t in the middle of anything! He is a grown man and can go see Jessie whenever he wants to or even invite him in while you’re out! He is the only one making everything such a big deal. ‘News flash, Raffie, you’re no peacemaker here!’, your blood boils at the fact that he couldn’t treat you two as separate friends. Even Jess was able to understand you wanted no part of them!

You cut people out of your life for a reason! Not only did they cheat on you, but was generally an asshole too! Just because Raf can’t gather the strength to end something completely does not mean you had to adapt to what he wanted! It is not illegal to cut someone out of your life and it could be perfectly healthy for you, even! Regardless if your circle has only gotten smaller and smaller over the years...

“I don’t need any of that shit! If I have to I’ll move, Raf!” Your voice hissing his nickname,”If you can’t live without that bitch and me then I’ll do you the fucking favor of cutting myself out of your life! Who the fuck says I need either of you!?”

You stop dead in your tracks and look down at your shoes. There was guilt and suffering swelling inside of you. You had only said that because you couldn’t think of any other way out of it than having him hate you. Hot streaks of tears return as you lower yourself into a crouch and hold your head. You don’t bother to fight the urge to pull your hair.

‘I do-I need you…’

A pathetic plea that lands on nobody’s ears. This was going to be the death of you if you keep going down this path. The sun was beginning to set. Orange and pink flourishes across the skies. Sobs rake through your body as you hide yourself into the alleyway. What the literal fuck? You could knock a man into a coma and here you were weeping like a lonely child. ‘You’re a selfish piece of shit-go to hell-he tries hard for you and here you are talking shit-what kind of friend are you-what kind of a sibling-a waste of a contact-a waste of a life-a bastard-motherfucking piece of-’

Your heart was stuck in a traffic of emotions. The selfish asshole doesn’t realize how badly you wish it could go back to the way it was too if it made things any easier. But like hell if you were going to ruin yourself again for the sake of his comfort. ‘Be the bigger person’ was such a load of bullshit. A ticket for the other to avoid consequence if he asked you.

A nervous hand is offered to your trembling form before you even realize there was anyone walking towards you, “What are you doing in here?”, he begins his question with your name, which was enough for you to snap your head up at him. ‘Eddie?’ You had forgotten how burnt up your eyes must have looked. Dropping your head in embarrassment you hide your bruised up features and take his hand. “Not having a good night.” Your own voice repulses you and you have to stop yourself at choking up as another wave of self-loathing thoughts creep up on you.

There was no lying to him considering you couldn’t think of a good cover story for crying in an alley in the dark. The least you could do was keep it vague to spare him from listening to you gripe about something so irrelevant to him.

“Need me to walk you home?” Panic surges through you for less than a second at his question.

“No! No-thank you. Uh…” You mentally shake yourself before you continue, ”Um, do you mind if we just walk to your place?”

A sigh leaves you when you relish in his nod. You fail to notice how he had helped you up and draped his jacket over your still trembling body as you walked. Eddie most likely thought you were shaking from the cold rather than your little meltdown. How cute.

After a moment of nothingness that leaked into you like acid, you decide to open your mouth despite how your sore throat protests, “Thank you, Eddie.”

“It’s no problem.” He says it so casually it almost makes you nauseated with guilt.

There was another silent pause, “So…” You began, “How did you… find me?” That insinuated that he was looking for you, but you didn’t know what else to say after half of that question had already left your mouth.

He purses his lips for a second. Then proceeded to do something that finally had you smile at him and even muffle the wrenching ache in your heart. Eddie stammers and stumbles over a word or two as visual warmth creeps up his ears. You ponder what he was hiding before he is able to speak again, “We-I-I forgot our-my tater tots and I ran back to your place and your brother answered and told us to come find you here…”

“Okay…” that made you stare wide eyed. He was kind of a shitty liar considering Raf doesn’t know where you are.

He stirs at your silence and leaves your gaze about forty times in the matter of two seconds. To his shock you begin giggling. Then you began to chuckle. Followed by some laughing that was hard enough that you had to hold your stomach. He holds you still as you take a moment to recover. ‘Damn, wouldn’t it be crazy if he was some psycho stalking me or whatever?’

Maybe your laughter was contagious or you just looked stupid, but he begins to cackle along with you. You both probably looked pretty stupid. With a careful step you continue the journey back to his place the moment your laughter slowly dies down.

“You’re weird” You wheezed through a last few fits of giggling that left you breathless.

Eddie was just as bad as he wipes away some water building up in his eye, “You don’t know the half of it.”

The bad thoughts push at your neck and build a little pressure in your chest as a harsh reminder that you shouldn’t be enjoying yourself. You smile through the pain, yet he asks you if you’re alright and if you’re hurting somewhere. His voice goes soft with an undertone of concern. You couldn’t swat at the butterflies that shift in your organs.

“I’m fine. Just shit hit the fan back at my place.” You wince in disgust when you reveal that little detail. Eddie notices and offers implied choices, “Want to talk about it?”

You could either walk in more awkward silence or you could awkwardly blow up on him. Much to your own displeasure you settle for the latter.

“Do you believe in shit like ‘being the bigger person’?” You curl your fingers to make air quotes around your words as you speak. You didn’t want to be talking to a brick wall of morals after all.

Unsure of what you were expecting, you turn to look at him, “Not really. I mean… Past experiences makes that kind of complicated to answer, but… not really.”

Sighing, you look forward to avoid eye contact; naturally as the coward you were, “Raf only blew up on you because he thinks you would ruin the chances of me focusing on a friendship with an ex of mine.” He scoffs, but you continue before he could say anything, “But Jess is kind of a shitty person and I really don’t care about bringing that fucker back into my life for his sake-uh since me Raf and Jess were all friends once…” You stopped there deciding last minute to keep a lid on it.

“Does Raf know you don’t want to be friends again?” You didn’t expect him to actually say anything after that. Nobody really ever did aside from Rafael.

“Yeah, it’s been almost a year already, but it still comes up.”

“Wait-why does he care? Can’t he still be friends with Jess and be your brother?”

Eddie seemed genuinely confused which was actually kind of adorable, but you ignored that thought, “Because he feels like he’s stuck in the middle of us. He wants it to go back to how it was when all three of us were together and tearing shit up.”

“So it’s really about him then?” More of a statement than a question. It made you look up at him in realization. The only feeling that lingered from your meltdown was the guilt of being a selfish asshole. You almost forgot to be a little pissed at him by the time you were mostly out of it.

He takes note of your reaction and speaks carefully, “I’m starting to think you two have really different feelings going around about different parts of this situation.” You nod in affirmation.

“So that’s probably why you two haven’t figured a way around any of this. Like you both rely on one of you just clicking and finally getting it so one of you can have it your way. But if you don’t then it’ll just come back up again later, right?”

You nod again, mostly in a daze. He was actually making sense to you somehow.

“That is so unfair...”

That actually makes you huff out a bit of laughter, “Tell me about it.”

You two finally make it to his apartment complex. By the time you two make it to the door of his apartment he’s already pushing you inside. Playfully of course. In his defense you were acting like a vampire that needed to verbally be invited in.

You stand politely next to his couch before you hear him scoff jokingly, “Do I look like the Queen of England?” When you don’t respond he steps into your view to hold your arms comfortingly, “Relax. Sit.”

Offering an apologetic smile you add onto you nervous behavior, “I’m sorry I’m just kind of… It’s been a while since I’ve…” You didn’t want to sound all that depressing, “Look I’ll try to…” Jesus fuck this was a disaster, “Ugh… I-I’m…” You wish you hadn’t said anything at all at this point. Huffing in defeat you finish your thought, “I’m just tired. I’m sorry.”

Eddie looks at you closely as if to inspect you.

The silence was always weird. What was he thinking and why did it always take this long? Was he thinking of a way to kick you out? Your internal stress was rudely interrupted when he places something in front of you. The smell of cupped noodles pushes your embarrassment down your throat; almost forgotten. You didn’t seem to understand right away. Did you look hungry? Was your stomach making weird noises? Enough!

You took a forkful and hummed thankfully.

He takes his place next to you with a cup of his own. Perhaps he could sense that you were still bothered by your situation, or maybe he was just curious, you weren’t sure which as he begins to inquire, “Does Jess know you don’t want to be friends?”

Nodding, you swallow whatever is left in your mouth, “Yeah. I mean sometimes I hear from Raf that Jess would rather talk it out and I don’t know. Explain what happened that night maybe. Raf tells me that things have changed and how Jess changed, but I don’t… I don’t actually want to find that out for myself.” You couldn’t help but shrink at how horrible you were beginning to sound now that it was all being said out loud.

More silence.

“Should you really have to?”

There was a second before you choke up dryly at your next thought, “If I don’t then I’m just a coward and Raf is going to give up on me and won’t talk to me and-” Scorching tears return at full force by the time you feel yourself shaking against someone’s chest, “-I’ll be alone and I don’t want to be-not like this-I don’t want to be-” Arms tightening around you never made you feel so small. Your voice was growing less and less coherent and yet you pretended otherwise as you kept babbling on about fearing yourself. Does Rafael really think you don’t care enough about him if you don’t go back to being friends with your own fucking ex? You ball yourself up and cling to his jacket as if you would slip into the void if you let go.

‘Back at square one’ your mind jested. How would he ever talk to you again after this? Eddie was probably thinking ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ right about now. You were a wreck basically the first day you’ve met him! At least Raf didn’t have to worry anymore considering you ruined this poor dude’s night. A devastated smile tugs at your lips. His seriousness wavers at the feeling.

“What?” He has to pull away to look at you.

Your eyes were puffy, skin slick with tears, bruises still evident. Not only were you disgusting, but tears had soaked through his jacket, much to your embarrassment. You naturally avoid his gaze for the millionth time that night, “I’m sorry for fucking up your night.”

For a minute he seems to be at a loss for words. You mentally slap yourself for even saying anything and putting him in such an awkward position. Just as you were about to fill in the gap with more gibberish and half baked thoughts, he retorts, “You didn’t fuck anything up.”

You blink up at him to see that he was smiling down at you.

“Okay, sure, you’re crying on my couch and I don’t really know what to do with my hands-” His face almost beams when you snort weakly at his comment, “-but I would rather have you here than crying alone in some ditch-or alley in the dark.”

Then suddenly, something hit you. You wouldn’t be crying in his arms tonight if you just kept your conversation light. If you didn’t blurt out each and every little detail. Mostly because it was weird to do to a stranger you met just that day. Even most friends would look for distractions as an answer. He asked about your situation and kept prying. He was looking for the smaller details. Because he’s a reporter.

Or maybe he was just that nice of a person.

You move one hand to hold your side as you begin another contagious wave of laughter that resulted in you hiding your face in his shoulder. It was more down-played than the last, but still unrelenting. You weren’t sure why, but it all just seemed weird enough to you to be laughable. Not too long after were there strings of laughter rumbling throughout his body. For some reason, the bouncing of your head against his quaking shoulder was automatically hysterical to you. Your laughter grew by the second. This had to stop.

“What’s so funny?” Eddie snickered.

Only after a humiliating snort or two did you answer, “You!” the mirth finally dives back into calmness as you provide some clarity, “You’re just,” your words were broken by a lingering breath of laughter, “so weird…”

A nervous chuckle draws your attention, “Weird good or weird bad?”

“I don’t know,” a bit of mischief teases your lips when you see his reaction, “You go looking for me in an alley after the shitty breakfast I gave you and let me into your apartment all ugly with tears.”

Slowly, joy kicked at his lungs. His laugh was cute. Man, if this dude turns out to be a murderer just lurring you in, you were going to be pissed.

“Yeah… I think you’re a good weird.” You didn’t realize how close Eddie was to you until you sneak a peak of his deep smile.

He seemed to realize it too as he takes the opportunity to lean a little closer and wipe away any lingering tears off of your face, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was coated in honey when you decide you want to meet him halfway. You begin slow. He was so close to you; his breath easily warming your skin and sending goosebumps up your arms. Suddenly you were cold.

You blink at the view of him continuing to eat his leftovers.

“Your soups gettin’ cold.” The shit-eating grin that he bares was enough to light a fire under your ass.

Shock was written all over your face, nevertheless, you grab your soup and continue to eat. There was some silence that weighted the atmosphere. Maybe he was expecting a different reaction out of you, you weren’t sure, but nobody was about to be playing hard to get with you right now. You cackle internally.

“So do you-”

A smile that could sell for innocence graces your features.

He swipes his tongue over the corner of his lips slowly to catch the drop of soup from the small corn you had flung at him. It catches your gaze through the corner of your eye. Feeling like you’ve won, you continue to eat.

Unfortunately you only had half a minute to mentally brag. A lukewarm piece of noodle smacks lamely into your jawline before falling into the remainder of your soup. You gasp and shoot an infamous glare which slowly falters beneath the playful grin that surfaces.

With a flick of your index finger you move another piece of food on the tip of your fork. In a flash, you bring a fist down on the handle and launch a small piece of partially soaked chicken right into what would have been his chest.

What happened instead was actually quite impressive. Your eyes widen to see Eddie lunge forward and catch the food in his mouth. For a second you swear you see his teeth sharpen, but dismiss it as a mere exaggeration of his action. You raise your hands to defend your face as he chuckles and flicks another one at you.

You cry out in laughter and launch it back at him; hitting his nose. Another one flies at you, but you slap it out of your way. It splashes into your soup and further dirties your hoodie. At the moment you didn’t really care. That being said, a few more minutes into your little warfare and your hoodie was as bad as your crying face was a few moments ago. Eddie wasn’t as bad after catching two more when they were just a little too overhead.

“You want me to wash your hoodie for you?” He gestures to the filth that caked the fabric. He looked smug albeit a little apologetic.

“Nah it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” An eyebrow raises and you cave, “Uh… I would take it off, but I didn’t bring a shirt…”

Humiliation manifests on your face just as Eddie raises a brow. There’s no issue when it came to Raf seeing you shirtless, but with someone so new? It was weird. You can’t help but be a little insecure. He scratches the back of his neck in thought before offering another option, “I could give you a shirt, no problem.”

You were going to decline, but you could feel something slick and cold sticking to your stomach. Shivering you nod gratefully, “Please?”

Keeping close to him you follow towards a closet full of clothing. Eddie pulls his shirt over his head. Your eyes immediately trace the muscles that flex and contour his back. Fuck, it actually makes you want to cry. You play it off as a sigh and peel your eyes away from him as he slips into a clean shirt. Were you making things weird? No he probably didn’t notice anything. He hasn’t made a sound yet anyways. Yeah-no it’s nothing. He can’t possibly see that look on your face! Did you see those tattoos? Wipe that drool off your face, he’s turning around!

He places a soft fabric into your hands and points to the bathroom. You were still too ashamed to meet his eyes and notice his smug expression. Instead, here you were in his kind-of-gross bathroom. Stripping off your hoodie you pull the shirt over your top half. If you were being honest, you wish you were out there in front of him. Your mind went into the gutter while you imagine trying to show off your muscles and whatnot.

“Everything okay in there?” You jump and reflexively grab your hoodie off of the sink.

“Y-yeah. I’ll be right out.”

Anxiously, you pull at the collar of the shirt. You couldn’t stop yourself. Pulling it closely to your lips, you inhale lightly. His scent was almost like its own spice. A sweet musk with enough zest you sweep you off your feet.

You hear him shuffling around in his living room and quickly make your way out. The shirt was an easy fit on you, actually. Eddie was a pretty big guy anyways so you were grateful for the size. Your eyes glaze upon the shirt he wears now. Imagine tearing into such thin fabric… You catch yourself before getting lost in the figuration again.

“Thanks. I’ll give it back-”

“Don’t worry about it. Looks better on you.”

‘Smooth Criminal’ was written all over him, “Not as good as you look right now.”

“You think I look good?” He stalks up to you and you feel your heart flutter.

“Didn’t realize I stuttered.” You hum, amused.

Before things could escalate, Eddie clears his throat. He seemed to be keeping himself back. It was absolutely annoying…

“You stayin’ the night?”

“Only if you’ll let me.” There’s some hopefulness in your words.

He catches it and feeds you a promising grin, “Guess you’re stayin’.”

The rest of that night was a blur. But much to your displeasure you two didn’t do much of anything. You could tell because you were both leaning against each other on his couch with the TV on. The urge to kick something in frustration was strong enough to pick Eddie as a target. Not that you didn’t have a nice time, but you would rather be walking off a pair of sore legs right about now. He stirs next to you and leans his back against the couch; taking some weight off of you.

You desperately want to move, but not off of the couch. You wanted to lay your head in the crook of his neck and you weren’t even sure why. That was weird. He literally met you yesterday…

‘What the fuck.’

Your head was comfortably tucked against his toned thighs. Too busy being stuck in your thoughts you fail to notice you were slowly being pushed into his lap. You really needed to stop daydreaming because you are doing things you basically tell yourself not to do.

Eddie was already waking up before you could fix your mistake! Quickly shutting your eyes, you pretend to be asleep. A moment later and Eddie was shifting beneath you in contempt of trying to control your breathing. Were you being elevated? You refused to face the music by opening your eyes just yet. Not even when you felt his seemingly huge hand caress the back of your head.

He does lean down to you though. Your heart comes to a screeching halt in hopes of him leaning down to kiss you. However that does not happen. You could feel him. Eddie was taking in your scent, greedily. You miss the chance to stop yourself from shuddering. This almost made you feel vulnerable. But worst comes to worst, you could take a hit and dish one out too.

There was an animalistic rumble that has you peek through your lashes. It was horrifyingly good and ran up your spine better than any man’s “lower” voice. The subtle clicking was weird but did wonders to your core. In spite of peeking, it was just Eddie’s nervous face.

The jig is up.

You squint at him-as if you were just waking up-appearing tired and disoriented, “Dude,” You couldn’t help throwing in a drowsy chuckle before continuing, “are you sniffing me?”

Mentally jumping for joy at the fact that it took the attention off of you for sleeping on his lap, you watch in amazement as he stammers with an excuse and chokes up on nothing. He was as nervous and messy as you were.

In the end he comes up with nothing short of, “I just… thought you smelt nice… is all…”

As nice as it was to see him sweat over anything, you crack a smile and offer some honesty, “Thanks. I think you smell nice too.”

Shit was so awkward it was just easier to laugh at each other at this point. You sit up and make a bit of a show at stretching. With your arms raised, you make sure to flex. The shirt was a little on the thinner side which made it easier to tease your little audience as it left almost no secrets and gave just enough details. You finish with a scripted yawn that flows into a soft moan and rest your hands behind your neck. Lasty, you blink away your bedroom eyes to see him still staring. You almost laugh at him when he opens his mouth to close it again.

‘How pathetic is that?’ You chuckle to yourself.

He looked frazzled and scared to say anything. You feel a surge of energy and confidence the moment he practically turns around to run away. There was no way in hell you didn’t just hear him whimper.

Laughing only when he makes it into the safety of his bathroom, your phone nearly vibrates off of the table.

[R: Aye call me or get over here]

[R: Cause I just got you a fight]

[R: Its flashin’ big money]

[Y: How big?]

You two may be fighting, but when it came to you fighting other people, it was an implied compromise that you two still work together.

[R: Call me or smthng]

Eddie was just coming out of the bathroom. His bed head looking more like it was on purpose than an accident.

[Y: Can’t rn… I’ll be over in ten]

[Y: Ttyl]

Pocketing your phone you look at Eddie bashfully, “Hey… big guy?” oh god-no awkward…

“Big guy?” His grin was already talking dirty.

“Careful-I know where you sleep.” You point at him accusingly before laughing it off, “Anyways…” ‘You’re stalling…’

“This was fun… and you’re really nice. So thank you…” He at least seemed pleased by your words so far, “But, Raf texted me so…” Until now. His face was weirdly disappointed. All you could do was sigh mentally, ‘I don’t want to go either…’.

“Are we going to see you again sometime or?” You gave it some thought. You didn’t actually have a job with your winnings mainly covering the rent. Not to mention, Raf was the one working at the bakery on 24th street. Memories flash you with images of you lounging on the couch or working out. You had all the free time in the world.

For a second, you twist from side to side indecisively. You kind of wish for a way to attach him to you hip. You liked him and despite all the teasing and whatnot, he seemed as shy and weird as you were. Just as lost.

“Hm… What are you doing tonight?” The smile he answers with was rewarding.

“Don’t know yet… You tell me…” Jesus fuck, did your heart just float away?

Keeping your cool you place your palm against his bicep, “I know a cute little place we could meet up.”

You give him the location of a sweet little cafe that was open in the late hours. He was familiar with it and called it a date. A swift hand grabs your hoodie. You quickly toss it onto your shoulder and poke some fun at how you may just keep the shirt. It felt softer than any of your shirts. Everything felt like it was lingering, “You want me to walk you home?”

“I’ll be fine.” Punctuating your words with a shameless flex of your bicep. You really didn’t want to go, nonetheless, you bid him farewell after a bittersweet chuckle, “Anyways-Got to bounce. Ciao.”

He waves you off and closes the door behind you. Your heart needs a moment to deal with the loss of company. As you move down the hall to exit the building you hear Eddie’s muffled voice, “Wh-God shut up V.”

He seemed irritated, but he was chuckling. Strange. Who was he talking to?

You pay it no mind for now and focus on your journey back home.

#venom x reader #Eddie Brock x reader #venom #trashwriting #this was also in the drafts so #sorry for the wait #in case any of you are wondering I do look into my inbox at your supportive comments #still helps a lot #thanks

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missluthorwillseeyounow · 4 years

Text

Part II Wed By Candlelight (The Portrait of the Secret Bride)

Supercorp The Corpse Bride AU

Kara’s dreams that night are turbulent. She could attribute it to the fact that she’d had to endure dinner with Mon-El’s mother, but it’s far worse than any nightmare even Rhea could induce.

She dreams of her lady’s brother, returning home the prodigal son. But she knows of the atrocities Lex Luthor is said to have committed, of the wife and child he had left dead in his wake -- and Kara doesn’t want him anywhere near her lady. She can see the war Lena wages between her good judgment and her good heart, can see her vacillating between her love for her brother and her own instincts.

But Kara, who has no such attachment to him, sees how he brings nothing but discord and chaos into their lives. And she’s right.

Over dinner, he announces his plan to restore the Luthor name and fortune -- by promising Lena in marriage to his new business associate, a man named Morgan Edge.

It’s the first time she’s ever seen her lady truly angry. Lena’s fury emanates from her lithe frame in cold waves as she stands from the dinner table, straight-backed and proud, facing Lex with glacial eyes that burn with pent-up rage, before she throws her glass of wine in his face.

The second they’re locked in her room, Lena grasps Kara’s arms with desperate fingers. “We need to leave.”

“Lena--”

“I can’t stay here, Kara. Not like this. Not when he intends to shackle me to a man like Morgan Edge. I met him once, and that was enough. He’s a despicable cockroach of a man. I cannot stay here and marry him, Kara. I will not.”

Kara hears the steel in her lady’s voice, and loves her for it. She opens her arms and Lena melts into her, lips touching her throat, soft words murmured against her skin. “I won’t marry anyone but you.”

Kara huffs a small laugh against Lena’s hair. “Somehow I don’t think the Bishop will approve of that.”

“I don’t care. Hang the Bishop.” Lena smiles when Kara laughs again. She pulls away slightly, just enough for Kara to see the brilliant clarity in her eyes. “And hang the Luthors. Let them rot in this miserable place. We’ll leave them here. You and I can go somewhere we can be together.”

Kara’s heart pounds like a drum, and she takes one of Lena’s hands in hers. “You’d leave your family to be with me?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Joy bubbles up in Kara’s chest, almost dispelling the heaviness that had settled there since hearing of Lex’s plans. “We could go to Kandor. My cousin lives there with his wife, they might have a place for us.”

Lena rests her temple against Kara’s, her lips brushing softly against her hair. “As long as I’m with you.”

Kara sighs, and the two of them stay that way for a long moment. It feels as if they are standing at a precipice, with the threat of Lena’s family surrounding them and the terrifying exhilaration of the unknown before them, freedom just within reach.

“I’ll leave for Kandor at dawn, to make sure Kal can make a place for us.” Kara brings Lena’s hand up to her lips, pressing a kiss to her fingers in lieu of a ring. “I will come back for you, I promise.”

And Kara somehow, somehow, knows that this is the last night she will spend with Lena.

The dream shifts, and Kara finds herself in the dark of night, the wind whipping across her face. The horse she is riding on snorts in exertion as she urges the animal as fast as it can go.

There’s a fierce desperation in the way she grips the reins. She doesn’t know where she’s going, all she knows is that it’s a matter of life and death that she get there in time.

There’s a wound on her side that burns, but she just presses on it and keeps riding. Bruises have bloomed over her knuckles. Blood dripping from her eyebrow and an accompanying wave of dizziness tells her that she also has a head wound, but she grits her teeth and forces herself to stay on her seat. Nothing is more important than getting to her destination.

“Kara, we have to stop.” A man appears in her field of vision, riding alongside her. Something in her recognizes him as Kal, her cousin. “You’re bleeding too much.”

“No!” She protests violently, her voice breaking in the whipping wind “If Lex’s men found us, that means Lex knows that Lena and I were planning to run away. He’s going after her, Kal. We have to get to her first!”

She leans forward, urging her horse faster still.

Only, she never gets to her destination, because the dream shifts again, and this time, instead of a mount, Kara finds herself sitting at a desk, in a small, unfamiliar room.

Beside her, Kal’s son, Jon is sleeping peacefully in his cradle. On the table, at her elbow, is a solitary candle, its flickering flame casting a familiar thin light on Kara’s bowed form.

“Lena.” Her voice is little more than a whispered sob. The candlelight brings back too many bittersweet memories that make Kara’s heart ache and crumble, as if it’s dying a living death inside the cavity of her chest. “Lena…”

Kara swallows back a sob and wipes away the tears that blur her vision. She’s worked with less light before, she reminds herself, as she bends over the small locket, painstakingly recording every detail she can remember. She works ceaselessly and without the need for sleep, as if it were possible to bring her lady back to life with each brush stroke.

She knows -- She knows it’s impossible to bring her back. She knows it’s impossible to capture the warmth of her smile or the soft steel of her voice in a miniature portrait, she knows, but each brush stroke feels like a penance, a way to keep her alive.

When she’s finished, Kara seals it within the necklace. A secret only she knows.

This time, Kara all but forces herself awake.

She scrambles out of bed, nearly waking Mon-El in her haste. The floor is cold under her bare feet, but she doesn’t care. She scurries out of the room and down to the foyer where she’d left her coat.

Her hand plunges into the coat pocket and she triumphantly fishes out the antique necklace her mother had left her.

The exact same necklace in her dream.

Quickly, she retrieves a knife from the kitchen and pries it open as carefully as she can. It’s a painstaking process, trying not to damage a two hundred year old piece of jewelry, but finally, Kara’s efforts pay off.

The necklace opens to reveal the portrait Kara had seen in her dream -- a faithful likeness of Lena Luthor in miniature.

For the first time, it occurs to Kara that this is the only time she’s seen Lena outside of her dreams and their encounters. This solitary portrait is proof that Lena had lived. That she had been loved.

Kara’s breath leaves her in a rush, as she slowly realizes what this is.

A lover’s final gift, her penance, handed down her family for generations, from one bride to another, with the secret bride who never was inside.

She doesn’t quite know how she feels. It’s a lot to process, and it’s truthfully been a mad whirlwind of the past few days that barely seems real. She looks down at the locket in her hand. Lena’s face smiles up at her, the painting so devotedly true to her likeness, it almost feels like she’s alive.

Well, Kara thinks. If she’s doing this, she might as well go all in. They say every bride goes crazy before the wedding, after all.

Before she can talk herself out of it, Kara grabs her coat and shoves her feet into her boots. She spares a few seconds to root around for a flashlight in the hallway closet before setting out the door.

The air is chilly as she hurries along the familiar overgrown path. Somehow it’s less tranquil and more scary walking along the trail in the middle of the night, with the wind rustling through the trees and insects chirping. The serenity she’d felt before is gone in the oppressive darkness. In the night, everything seems much more ominous, formless shadows flitting around her, the night sounds loud in her ears. The leaves crunching under her feet feel more ominous than comforting now, and Kara finds herself jumping at every sound.

She draws her coat tighter around herself as she nears the graveyard, her flashlight illuminating a narrow beam of light that plays menacingly over the tombstones.

“Lena? Are you there?”

Kara’s voice is a tentative whisper, and she feels stupid. It’s cold, it’s the middle of the night, and she’s in a graveyard, looking for a ghost. Her steps falter, and she sighs, rubbing her arms to stave off the cold. Maybe it’s time to go home.

She turns to leave, but a familiar voice wisps in the wind behind her, making her shiver.

“You came.”

Kara whirls around to see Lena’s pale form behind her. The eerie silver radiance of her skin in the darkness makes her look otherworldly. But the dark red stains on the white of her red seem unnervingly real. Like Kara could touch the mortal wound on her abdomen and still feel the pulsing of blood within.

It reminds Kara of why she’s here.

Her fingers close around the locket around her neck, and she steps forward, closer to Lena. “I did. I… I think I can help you, Lena. I think I know what happened all those years ago.”

“What?” Lena’s voice is thin and hesitant, as though she can scarcely believe Kara’s words. “How--?”

“I see it. In my head, in my dreams every night. I see you and Kara. I’ve seen the love you had for each other, and I’ve seen -- so many things, but I need your help. I don’t have the whole story, there’s a side of it that’s missing, and it’s you.”

“I - I don’t understand, Kara.”

“What do you remember from the night you died?”

“I - I don’t… I don’t remember. So much of it is a fog in my mind...” Lena turns away from Kara, her hands flying to her temples. “It’s been so long. I’ve been waiting so long…”

Kara clutches the locket around her neck. “You have to remember. Please, Lena, remember. Because I have pieces of the puzzle, but you have the key to it. Try, please…. Look, you said you were waiting for Kara. But were you alone?”

“I… I think so. I’ve been alone for so long…”

“What about that night? That night you died?” Kara presses on, her hands coming up, wanting to take Lena’s arms, but she knows that there’s no body there to touch, so she lowers her hand. “You said the place where you were waiting wasn’t a graveyard then. What was it?”

“I - no, it wasn’t, I --” Lena’s voice is becoming higher, panicked and confused. Her beautiful face is lost and frightened. “I don’t know!”

Kara knows she’s pushing too far, and her instinct to comfort and soothe comes to the fore. She reaches out to touch Lena, and before she can remember that Lena is dead -- has been dead for two hundred years -- her hand comes up to touch her shoulder.

She touches nothing, but for a second -- less than a heartbeat -- her fingers meet resistance at the curve of Lena’s shoulder when there should only be empty air.

In that instant, everything changes. A shock comes through the end of Kara’s fingertips, and all at once everything turns white.

As the light blinds her, Kara hears voices in her ear. “Lex is watching, and the trip to Kandor is five days long. I can’t risk you leaving until I know there’s a safe place for us there. I promise you, Lena, I will come back for you.”

An unfamiliar voice. This time, a woman’s. “Lex has informed me that Morgan Edge is arriving tomorrow. This wedding must proceed smoothly, Lena. This is what you and I have been working for your whole life. What have I always told you? Everything I do, I do for you and our family…. We are so close, my dear. Everything we have lost will be restored to us. The Luthor name shall be revered once more, and we can become a family again.”

When the blinding light fades, Kara finds herself in the same old room in Luthor Manor where she and Lena slept. Except the sanctity of the tiny dark room has been violated by another.

Lena is dressed in immaculate white lace, flowers at her breast and in her hair. She looks beautiful and terrible at the same time.

Lex has her by the arm, his face a cold snarl above her as he holds up one of the wine glasses from the dinner table. His hand is wrapped around Lena’s forearm, and Kara rushes forward to rip him off of her, but there’s no use. Her hand passes through Lex, and he continues to sneer menacingly at Lena.

“You’ve never been poisoned before, have you, little sister? Well, I have. Arsenic has a very mild odor.” He holds up the glass to her face before throwing it across the room. Lena stiffens, but she doesn’t flinch. “Usually, one would never recognize it, but I know because my bitch of a wife put it in my drink the night she left me, sneaking off like a frightened little rat, just like you were planning to.”

Lex bares his teeth. “You women, you’re all fools. None more than you, baby sister. You couldn’t even think of a different plan.”

“I did.”

Lena’s free hand subtly disappears within the folds of her dress. As Kara watches, she silently withdraws a knife hidden within her dress and swiftly stabs it into Lex’s side. Lex yells in pain and his eyes widen as Lena twists the handle and pulls the knife out for good measure.

Lex groans as Lena pushes him off of her and leaves him lying on the ground. She gives him one last look, her eyes full of pain and cold anger. “Good bye, Lex.”

Without another backwards glance, Lena draws her cloak around her shoulders and all but flies to the stables. Her horse is there, ready and saddled, and she rides swiftly away from Luthor Manor.

Kara recognizes the path she takes. It’s the same path she’s taken away from the Inze house, the one that leads to the graveyard, and at once, her stomach is filled with dread. She wants to scream at Lena to take a different road, but Lena can’t hear her.

The dread worsens into full panic when she hears hoof beats growing louder and louder near them. She sees the same terror in Lena’s eyes when another horse cuts her path, and the mare she’s riding on rears up in fright.

“Lena!” Kara screams as Lena is thrown off the horse, her head hitting the ground hard. But Lena can’t hear her. She moans feebly on the ground, the back of her head covered in blood. She hangs onto her consciousness, and Kara watches fearfully as Lena tries valiantly to get up.

Behind her, Lex dismounts from his horse, his entire right side blooming red with blood from Lena’s knife. He advances toward her, hand on his side, and Lena stumbles, pulling herself away from him on her arms.

Kara frantically tries what she can to help, even though she knows it’s useless. Her hands can’t pull Lena up or beat Lex away as he drops onto one knee beside her struggling form. A glint of a blade is the only warning Kara gets before the blade Lena had used to stab Lex drives into her body now, and all of Lena’s breath comes out in a choked scream.

“You couldn’t just do what I asked, could you, Lena? Everything would have been perfect, little sister. Our fortunes restored, the Luthor name once again redeemed and exalted, and you would have been set for life.” Lex hisses in her face, flecks of his blood spitting from his mouth to her cheek. “But you had to go and spread your legs for some servant girl like a filthy whore!”

Lena closes her eyes, tears trickling down her face, and Lex laughs mirthlessly at her, voice lowering to a dangerous mutter.

“And where is she now, Lena? Where is your faithful Kara? She never came back for you, did she? You’re about to die, little sister. You’re going to bleed out in this godforsaken road, and she’s not here. You’re all alone.”

Kara screams at him, beats her ineffectual fists at him as he struggles to his feet, away from Lena, dropping her body on the side of the road. Kara drops to her knees beside her fading form, frantically trying to place her hands on her abdomen, as if she could close the wound herself. “Lena…. Lena….”

Her hands can do nothing. Unlike before, there is no resistance when she tries to touch Lena, her hands simply grasp thin air, even though the jagged wound on Lena’s stomach is terrifyingly real. Lena chokes on blood and air, and she can’t see Kara’s pleading face as she mouths her last word.

“Kara…”

All at once, the light blinds Kara again, and she’s wrenched away from Lena. She screams and tries to reach out, but to no avail.

When the light fades, she finds herself in the woods again, this time astride a horse, with Kal by her side.

She spies the limping form of Lex Luthor between the trees, blood trailing behind him, and she feels white-hot rage surge through her veins. She dismounts from her horse and lunges at him, dragging his broken body forward.

“Kara!” Kal’s voice tries to stop her, but Kara is beyond all reason.

She fists her hands into his bloodied collar and shakes him. “Where’s Lena??”

Vaguely, Kara realizes that she’s no longer seeing Lena’s memories, but Kara’s. The realization is lost when Lex laughs, and she wants to tear the smile from his face.

“You're too late.” Lex sneers, blood and spittle flying from his mouth, his face contorted in a terrible smile. “She’s dead.”

Kara finally screams her rage in his face. “You’re lying!! Where is she??!”

Lex doesn’t answer, just laughs and laughs. She wants to kill him, she could so easily finish the job, but she has to find Lena first.

She leaves Lex with Kal, and follows the trail of blood, her stomach turning and her heart pounding in her throat. From a distance, Kara can see where the trail ends, to a pool of blood and a lifeless figure dressed in white.

She screams. And screams.

It feels never-ending.

Everything shifts again, and Kara weeps against it, wanting this to end.

It doesn’t.

When everything rights itself again, Kara is standing in front of the old Luthor Manor. It’s in terrible condition, the west wing has caved in. Its shutters are broken and its windows empty. Like the family it served, it is dead now.

“There’s nothing left here, Kara.” Kal tells her “We should go. There’s nothing for you here.”

Kara shakes her head, resolute. “Not yet. I have a promise to keep.”

Their room is in disrepair. The bed they shared their love on is lifeless and broken, just like her lady. Kara grips the dusty sheets, tears slipping silently down her face. She would howl her grief out if she could. If she could, she would scream and yell and rage for the woman she loved and lost.

But she can’t. Her grief is too far beyond that.

So instead she drops the sheets and bends down to retrieve her oils and paints from their hiding spot in the floor. Nothing else in this room is retrievable, but this -- the last gift Lena gave to her -- is sacred.

That night, with great effort, she lifts the brush again. She can’t paint Lena’s face anymore. It hurts too much. That wound will never heal, but she can seal it within the necklace and place it above her heart.

Instead, Kara paints everything and anything else. She lets the brushes guide her, instead of her guiding them.

For a long time, she paints only in blacks of night and reds of blood and browns of earth covering the dead. She paints in slashes and heavy strokes that demand the weight of grief.

Sometimes the brush becomes too heavy in her hand, and she yearns to put it down, but Kara made a promise, and she is the only one left to keep it for -- herself, and the memory of a dead girl -- so she persists.

And then one day, baby Jon comes toddling into her room, burbling nonsensically around the fist in his mouth.

He waddles unsteadily toward her, tripping into her dress. She catches him with a small oof! And he laughs as a streak of paint smears his cheek. His hand splatters into her paints and he smears them over Kara too, making her chuckle.

They make a little game out of it, smearing paint all over each other, and Kara opens the brighter colors that catch his eye. Soon, both Kara and baby are smeared with greens and yellows and blues and pinks. She opens the colors that had been Lena’s favorites, and she lets Jon smear them onto her face.

She’s just teaching the baby how to mix paints to get orange when Lois catches them red-handed in the middle of their mess.

But instead of scolding them, Lois sees the first smile Kara has cracked in months and she shakes her head at both of them, chuckling, and marches them both off to get a bath.

And so Kara heals.

Slowly, and in small steps forward and many falls backward. But she learns to live again. She learns to build her life around the cavern in her heart.

Lois gives one of her paintings to her sister Lucy as a gift, and it hangs in Lucy’s sitting room for a while, until one of her guests, an illustrious and irrepressible widow named Lady Grant, sees the painting and offers to purchase it from Lucy on the spot.

Lady Grant proceeds to commission an entire series of paintings from Kara, and Kara rapidly acquires more patrons who marvel at her paintings, and praise her on the depth and emotion behind her work.

“One cannot help but be moved by them, by you, Kara.” Lady Grant tells her once in a rare moment of candid compassion.

Through it all, she never forgets her promise.

When, years later, she stands underneath an arch of white flowers -- plumerias, her lady's favorite -- Lois asks what her “something borrowed” is for the wedding, Kara doesn’t answer her.

Instead, Kara silently answers the woman in the portrait, sitting hidden in the necklace above her heart.

“My heart. It will never be owned by another, merely borrowed. He may become my husband, but my heart will always, always belong to you, Lena.”

______________

“Kara… Kara, wake up.”

Kara opens her eyes to see Lena’s face hovering over hers. The ground is cold and hard underneath her, sprinkled lightly with dew. Kara blinks rapidly a few times. It’s morning now, still early if the light is anything to go by, and the first rays of the sun are just brightening the horizon.

“Kara…” Lena’s eyes are relieved as she sits up, but her voice still holds a touch of concern. Her fingers hover lightly over Kara’s shoulder, touching but not quite touching. “Are you alright?”

“Do you… Do you remember now?”

Lena looks away from her, her eyes downcast and pained. Her voice breaks on a single word “Yes, I remember. I died on this road, and Kara, she never came. I was alone.”

“No.” Kara surges forward, ducking her head to get Lena to meet her eyes. “She came back for you. She… she may have been too late, but she came back. She never forgot you, Lena, not for the rest of her life. And she never forgot her promise.”

Lena finally meets her gaze, her eyes full of sorrow and hope long held back.

“Come with me. Let me show you.”

The path feels long and full of the things Kara knows now, but she and Lena walk through it side by side. Kara wishes she could hold Lena’s hand, but she settles for letting her fingers brush the outline of Lena’s.

She takes Lena back to her ancestral home, and opens the doors for her. The morning sun is just high enough now for the light to filter beautifully through the vast windows, painting the rooms with warmth.

“She made this home for you, Lena.” Kara turns to the other woman, who finally steps through the threshold with a look of wonder in her eyes. “All those years ago, Kara promised you she would build you a house filled with light and warmth, and she did. She built it from the ruins of the house where you first shared your love, and she’s kept it for you all these years.... All the women in my family -- every daughter that passed through these halls, every bride that said their vows here, all the way down to my Mother who was married here and left this place to me -- every single one has kept it.... And it was all for you.”

Kara takes the locket on her chest and opens it to show Lena the portrait her Kara made of her. “She kept you in her heart until she was ready to give you to her daughter at her wedding day. She was never able to be with you, but don’t you see...? Every time this necklace passed from one bride in this family to the next, she gave you her vows and she kept you alive.”

A strange sense of peace washes through Kara as she leads Lena through the halls of her family’s home. Lena’s home.

Lena touches the walls of the house, the flowers adorning the staircase, with reverent hands. There are tears on her face, but she is smiling as steps into the light filtering through the windows. She closes her eyes and turns her face to the light, as if she can feel its warmth. Kara stands next to her, feeling her heart fill at the sight of Lena in the home she was promised.

“Your brother cursed you with his last words when he made you believe she would never come back. That you were all alone. He kept you bound to your sadness for so long, but Lena…. your Kara loved you so much that her love for you spanned generations. You don’t have to let his words keep you bound. You can choose to be free.”

Lena’s eyes open slowly, and as Kara watches, her face becomes radiant, awash with blinding love and emotion.

“I…… I see her. I see Kara.” Lena’s reverent voice breaks into a breathless sob. “She says she’s been waiting for me.”

Lena turns back to her one last time, tears of joy shining in her eyes, and Kara knows she will never see her again. “Thank you.”

For a long moment, Lena glows so brightly that the light blinds Kara’s eyes. By the time her eyes open, the light is gone.

And so is Lena.

Kara stands quietly in the middle of the room and takes a long inhale. The melancholia of the past few days is gone. Even the anxiety of the last few weeks seems to have fallen off her shoulders. Instead, she just feels a lightness in her whole body, and a clarity of thought she hasn’t known in a long time.

“Kara?” Alex’s voice comes from behind her, concerned, and Kara turns slowly to face her. “Are you okay?”

Kara huffs a small laugh and beams at her. “Yeah, I really am.”

Alex moves to stand beside her. She’s still in her pajamas, and there’s a quiet sort of hesitation in the way she approaches Kara, all sisterly concern.

Kara smiles warmly at her and offers her hand. Alex takes it and they both look out the vast windows.

“I can’t go through with this wedding, Alex.”

Her sister turns toward her, studying her with a protective eye. When all she sees on Kara’s face is contentment and a tranquil sense of calm, Alex nods. “I know.”

“You do?”

“I could kinda tell.” Alex shrugs and gives her a knowing look. “You’re my sister, I know you. I was just waiting for you to tell me.”

“Does Eliza know?”

“Knowing her, she probably does.”

“Well, then.” Kara inhales long and deep. “I guess the only one left to tell is Mon-El.”

“Why am I not surprised that your groom is the last to know that he’s not gonna be a groom after all?”

________

By SorrowsFlower

This was so fucking hard to write (I actually had most of it written up but it was hard to join them all up together, but it JUST WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE). There is an epilogue of sorts to this, but I think y’all can probably see it coming, so I might as well not write it lol.

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #the corpse bride #supercorp au #fanfic #my writing

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wefoundloveunderthelight · 3 years

Text

A Story in the Life of Killian Jones and Emma Swan by GleefullyCaptainSwan Chapter 2/2

Read on AO3: | Part 1 | Part 2

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s @the-darkdragonfly @xsajx @deckerstarblanche

Part 2:

Emma turned toward him, standing in front of his hotel room, an anxious look on her face. “I need to talk to you.”

“Are you crazy? What if Neal sees you?” He pushed open the door to his room and ushered the woman quickly inside.

“I’m sorry, I know this is insane, I shouldn’t be here.”

“You’re right you shouldn’t be. Why are you here?”

The boy whined loudly in her arms. “I’m sorry, is there somewhere I can I lay him down, he hasn’t had his afternoon nap.” Without waiting for a response, she laid her son on the bed, talking to him quietly as she tucked the covers over his shoulders. He could barely take his eyes off her, watching as she ran her fingers through the boy’s hair.

She looked up at him and everything in his body threatened to shut down. “Emma, you really shouldn’t be here.”

“I’ve been thinking…” She sighed. “My parents didn’t want me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“My parent’s they abandoned me when I was a baby, I spent a lot of years in foster care, but no one ever really wanted me. When I was old enough I emancipated, moved out on my own. I’ve never really been afraid of being alone, of not being wanted…but Henry…” She looked at her son, sleeping in the bed. “I don’t want Henry to ever feel like his father abandoned him.”

“I already told you, lass, I’m not here to ruin your life. I most certainly have no intention of hurting your child’s chances either. I have no plans to reveal your secret to Neal. I’m not that kind of man.”

“I believe that, and that’s part of the reason I’m here.” She shook her head. “He deserves to know his father. His real father.”

“But that would mean…” He stepped away from her.

“It would mean that I need to talk to Neal.” She replied softly. “I know.”

“You can’t do that. It would destroy him.” A sick feeling was growing in his stomach. Neal would never forgive either of them.

“I can’t live with this guilt; I get a sick feeling in my stomach every time he looks at me.” Killian chuckled at the similarity of their feelings. “I didn’t do any of this to hurt him, I thought I was protecting him and Henry, but I have lied to him, and he deserves to know the truth.”

“You’re getting married tomorrow.”

“I’m perfectly aware of that.” She said quietly. “But I can’t walk down that aisle and promise myself to be faithful and true to him if I don’t tell him the truth first.”

“So, you’re just going to tell him the truth, and then what? You walk down the aisle, and everyone is happy?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t get that far in my thought process.” She laughed.

He watched the woman from his place in the room. He was still angry at her, even though he knew she had no way of finding him anymore than he did her after they separated that night. Neither knew the other’s name, they had no way of contacting each other. But he was still angry as he looked over at the young boy asleep in his bed. He had a son and he had already missed so much of his life.

Killian had been up all night on the balcony thinking about his life, the things he had screwed up, things he had done right. Killian had spent every moment thinking only about himself, making his mark on the world, he never once stopped to think about anyone else. Sure, he had his brother, and he would do anything for Liam or even Robin and Neal, but when it came down to it, he only ever took care of himself.

But now…knowing that he had a son, suddenly things felt different. It was like the entire game had changed.

“He has my eyes.” He finally responded. “But he has your nose.”

She laughed, and when he looked up he realized she had tears in her eyes. “Sometimes when he’s sleeping, he does that thing with his jaw that you do.”

“Pardon me?”

“He clenches a bit when he’s sleeping. I remembered you doing that too…” She stared off in the distance. “That night.”

“You watched me sleep?” His brow rose when she turned to look at him.

“A bit. I had a lot on my mind. Plus, you’re kind of easy on the eyes.” He chuckled softly. “Pretty sure he got his attitude from you, that was apparent last night.”

“Are you saying I had an attitude?”

“Actually, you were kind of a dick, but it was warranted, I’m sure it was a shock last night.”

They each smiled and Killian realized how easy it was to fall into a conversation with her, the back and forth, give and take, the same reason he felt drawn to her the night at the bar. He stepped forward and offered her his hand. “Hi, I’m Killian Jones.”

She shook her head with a gentle laugh and an unsure look on her face before shaking her hand with his. “Emma Swan.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Emma.” He said with a nod.

“Can you ever forgive me?” She asked, biting her lip.

“There’s nothing to forgive, love.”

“I know this is going to be awkward and uncomfortable, and hell I have no idea how Neal is going to react, but I want you to get to know him. I want that for Henry. And for you.” Her eyes shimmered with wet tears. “It’s not your fault you didn’t know and if you had, I have a feeling that things might have turned out differently.”

“I probably would have done something ridiculously stupid.” He mumbled.

She laughed, “I want you to know something…about that night.”

“Love, there’s no need to…”

She cut him off. “Yes there is. Neal and I had been dating, not exclusively, but we had been dating for about three months when I went to the conference. He had asked me to move in with him and I wasn’t ready for a commitment like that.” He leaned back against the wall, watching her face as she spoke. “Then I met you.” She looked over at her son for a moment. “I didn’t sleep with you because I was confused about Neal.�� She said firmly, turning her attention back to him. “My whole life I’ve always done what I wanted, I never had to worry about how it affected anyone else.”

She stepped closer to him, and he swallowed, trying not to choke on the pit that was forming in his throat. “That night, with you, I had never done that before. You need to know that I wasn’t the type of person to just jump in bed with a stranger.”

“I never assumed that love.”

“Good.” She said with a soft smile. “But after you fell asleep, I just laid there, thinking about what I had done.”

“You regretted it?” He responded with sadness.

“No, not a single minute.” Her hand slid against his arm, and she looked up into his eyes. “There isn’t a single day that goes by that I don’t look into my son’s eyes and think of you. No matter what happened, you gave me Henry and being his mother is the single most important thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

He scanned her eyes, seeing the honesty of her words as she spoke. “If I had known about him, I swear to you I would have been there. I would have helped.”

“And that is why I want you to be a part of his life.”

He looked over at the boy sleeping peacefully in his bed and smiled. “I’d like that very much.” Turning back to her he sighed. “So, what will you do now?”

“I don’t know yet. I need to talk to Neal, try and explain all of this.”

“He won’t take this news lightly.” He warned. “I’ve known Neal all of my life. Are you sure you want to do this? We could find another way so that you didn’t need to expose yourself.”

“I won’t lie to him anymore and I can’t ask you to do it either.”

“I’d offer to assist, but I’m not certain my presence would make it better.”

She laughed again, a sound that soothed his beating heart. “This is something I need to do alone.” She walked over to her son, scooping his limp body into her arms, and depositing him into his stroller.

A look of worry washed over his face, he was certain Neal would react poorly to the news, he couldn’t blame him, if he put himself in the man’s place, he wasn’t sure he would remain calm either. “You can stop worrying about me. I’m a big girl.” She responded to his obvious concern.

“I don’t doubt that, however I would feel better if you could keep me apprised of the situation. I don’t want to walk into Neal’s fist without first knowing it’s coming.” He chuckled.

She rolled her eyes and held out her hand, when he gazed at her quizzically, she smiled. “Phone.” He pulled his phone from his pocket, handing it to her as she punched in her number and sent herself a text. When she was finished she passed it back to him. “I’ll let you know.”

He peered down at his phone and opened the text.

Killian: Hey it’s dark and stormy

He raised his brow and looked at her. “My drink order?”

“Your general attitude.” She teased, pushing the stroller past him, and reaching for the door. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Emma.” He watched her leaving, a nagging feeling telling him he needed to be honest with her as well. She may be marrying Neal, but she meant something to him, she always had. He reached out and gently tugged her by the arm. “That night changed me too. I may not have known about Henry but being with you that night…I thought about you often.”

“Killian…” she replied with a frown.

“Don’t fret lass, I’m not about to declare my undying love for you or anything, I just want you to know that it wasn’t just about sex for me, you were different, I never understood it, but you were. I tried to find you many times, at other conferences, on the faces of people I passed on the streets. I never stopped thinking about you, what could have been, I just…I wanted you to know that it meant something.”

“It meant something to me too.” She said with a sad smile, twisting the handle on the door and opening it.

“Hey Killian, you finally finish with that nap of…” Killian stared into the eyes of his best friend as he looked between his fiancé and himself. “Emma?”

“Neal…” Emma stepped toward him, and Neal pushed away from her.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Emma was just…” He started to explain, to come up with anything to make Neal stop glaring at him with the heat of thousand suns. Emma put her hand on his chest.

“Killian, don’t.”

“What the fuck.” Neal yelled. “Are you fucking my fiancé? You couldn’t wait to get one last jab in at your ole best friend, is that it?”

Killian swallowed. “Stop it Neal. That’s not what happened.”

“No? So, you’re just sneaking out of his hotel room, the day before our wedding because you were picking out bridal patterns?” He screamed.

“Mate, don’t shout at her.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” He yelled, stepping into Killian’s space.

“Everyone stop shouting.” Emma demanded, stepping between him and Neal.

“I can’t believe you would do this, Emma. You’ve known him a whole day.” He glared at him. “And you, you just couldn’t wait to use that Jones charm on her. Were you that jealous that I finally got a life that you wanted to ruin it for me?”

“I would never do that.” Killian argued. “I was happy, I am happy for you. You’re my best friend.”

“Bullshit. Friends don’t do this. Not this Killian.”

“Neal, if you would please let me explain.” Emma interrupted.

“Explain what? That the day before our wedding, you just had to have one more roll in the hay, before you got stuck with my dick forever, and of course to jab the knife in further you just had to pick him. Honestly Emma, I would have accepted it being anyone else, but him. Why him?”

“We weren’t sleeping together.” Emma closed her eyes as she spoke just as Robin approached the group.

“What’d I miss?” Robin asked anxiously.

“Just my best friend having a go at my fiancé, with my fucking kid in the room.”

“Um…What?” Robin turned toward him. “I thought we talked about this last night, you were going to walk away.”

Neal narrowed his eyes. “Last night? Jesus Christ, how quickly did the two of you fuck after meeting?”

“I didn’t have sex with her, Mate.” Killian said forcefully.

“So, you’re going to stand here and tell me that you’ve never had sex with Emma?”

Killian’s jaw tensed as he looked at Emma, his eyes gazing back to Neal. “Don’t do it, Killian.” Robin warned beside him, and Killian gritted his teeth. He couldn’t lie to Neal.

“I can’t do that.” He responded, just as the fist connected with his face and he crumpled against the wall.

“Jesus Neal.” He heard Emma yell as a pair of arms grabbed him around the elbow, pulling him back to his feet.

“Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on.” He heard his brother’s booming voice from the other end of the hall.

“Oh good, the gang’s all here.” Killian chuckled as he spit blood from his mouth onto the ground.

“Killian fucked Emma.” Neal growled and his brother turned a disappointed eye his direction. Killian shrugged his shoulders.

“It wasn’t recent.” He growled.

“What the hell does that mean?” Neal laughed.

“It was a long time ago.” Killian heard Emma’s voice behind Neal and Neal turned to face her, the change in his direction allowed him to see the woman, tears falling down her face. “I met him at that Vegas convention that we both went to.” Robin sighed beside him. “I never meant to hurt you; I didn’t know what I wanted then. You wanted to move in, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that kind of commitment.”

Neal’s shoulders sagged as he leaned against the wall. Emma pressed forward, taking his hand. “I came back to you, I decided I needed to grow up, to take a chance so I came home, and we moved in together.”

“So, to be fair, one could say that shagging me, pushed her to you.” Killian joked, something that no one witnessing the scene found funny.

“Shut the fuck up, Jones.” Neal spat and Robin shook his head disapprovingly as if to tell him now was not the time.

“I never told him my name and I didn’t know his.”

“And you never showed us a picture of the woman you were with; I had no way of knowing my dalliance in Vegas was in any way related to you. I didn’t even know where she lived, Mate. The first time I had seen her since then was last night, I swear.”

“I don’t even know how to process this.” Neal blew out a ragged breath. “I knew you weren’t sure about moving in with me, but when you got home, you just seemed different. I never questioned it.”

“I was sure.”

“Because you had sex with him, and then suddenly you could settle for a life with me?”

“No, I just, I couldn’t be that person, the one-night stand person, I needed to grow up.”

“So, you moved in with me so you could be a responsible adult?” He asked sarcastically. “Isn’t that romantic. Here I thought you did it because you loved me.”

“I did.” She argued. “I do. I just…”

“God, I don’t feel like I know you at all. Everything I thought about our life has been a lie.”

“That’s not true, Neal.” She pleaded.

“Would you have even stayed with me if you hadn’t gotten pregnant right after we…” He paused, his hand slowly covering his mouth as if the realization was taking over, the moment that Killian had been dreading the entire time. “Oh God.”

“Neal, can we please go and…”

“He’s not mine.” He whispered, staring at the floor. “Those goddamn blue eyes.” He muttered, an angry laugh following. “He’s not mine, is he?” He asked angrily as his eyes raged with fire.

Killian dropped his head to his chest, he felt Robin’s hand on his shoulder.

“No.” Emma cried, and Killian wanted more than anything to wrap her in his arms and hold her, to protect her, but he knew that it would only make matters worse. “I’m sorry Neal, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry brother.” Killian responded quietly.

“Don’t.” Neal pushed away from the wall. “I don’t want either of you talk to me. I can’t even look at you without wanting to vomit on the floor or punch you in the face.” He growled in his direction. He marched toward the other end of the hallway as Emma sunk to her knees crying next to the stroller. Killian looked toward his brother, sadness on his face.

“I’ll go talk to him.” He said with a nod. “Take care of them.” He said to Robin.

“Emma.” He walked toward her, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

“I’m fine. Please, don’t look at me like that, I’m fine. I deserved everything he said.”

“Aye, myself included, but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.

“Can Henry rest in your room? I just need to take a walk.” She said, standing and brushing herself off.

“Do you need company?” He asked sincerely.

“No. I need to believe alone, I just need to think.”

Robin nodded and Killian watched as she walked down the hallway, her arms wrapped around her waist.

~*~

Emma could feel her heart pounding in her chest, she knew the conversation with Neal was going to be difficult, but having him find her with Killian, having the truth come out the way it did was never something she anticipated.

She deserved his ire, she deserved the words he threw at her, yet it didn’t make it hurt less.

Emma knew that if she had never gotten pregnant, she may not have ever needed to bring up her indiscretion, but she could never say that she wished she hadn’t had Henry. She could live with her mistakes, she would own the consequences, but no matter what those ended up being, she would always have her son.

She loved Neal, but if he couldn’t forgive her, she could live with that as long as she had Henry.

No matter what Neal decided, she would be fine.

She walked around for what felt like hours until she wandered into the pool area. She sat down on one of the lounge chairs, staring at the water spilling over the small waterfall built into it.

“Hey Ems.” She looked up to see Neal walking slowly toward her, his hands shoved deep in his pockets as he looked around nervously.

“I’m so sorry.” She said softly as the tears threatened to fall again.

“I know.” He took a seat on the lounger and exhaled. They sat in silence for a moment, neither sure what to say. “Did you always know?” He turned toward her calmly. “That he wasn’t mine?”

Emma shook her head, the tears finally leaving her eyes. “Not at first, no. Honestly, it didn’t occur to me to think anything at all…” She shook her head. “But then he was born, and he had those beautiful blue eyes and that dark hair and…”

“I always knew Jones would make beautiful babies.”

“I hoped I was wrong, I really did. But when I realized the truth, I had no way of knowing who his father was, and I wanted him to have a father who would love him, and you did love him so much.” She cried.

“Answer me something, Em.” He took her hand and held it in his. “If you could have known sooner who he was, would you have still chosen me to be his father?”

“I…” She didn’t know how to answer that question. She realized last night that it would be wrong to keep Killian from knowing his son, that it would be unfair for Henry not to have the chance to know his father. “You don’t have to be his dad for him to love you like one.”

“But would you still choose me? You were so unsure about us moving in together. You ran, like you always did, and you ran into another man’s bed. Without Henry, would you and I still be together?” His voice was low, and calm.

“I do love you.” She replied, choking back her tears.

“I know that Em, but you didn’t answer the question.” He said with a laugh. “I think it’s because you already know the answer.”

“I came home to you, I didn’t know I was pregnant then, I still came home to be with you.” She sobbed.

“And how long would that have lasted? Vegas scared you. Being with Killian scared you, so you ran back to me, to safety.”

“No. I wasn’t scared, I realized I needed to take responsibility, be a grown up. That’s what being with Killian did for me.” He smiled, running his hand across her cheek.

“I don’t want you to be with me because it’s the right thing to do. I want you to be with me because there’s nothing else you want in the world except for me. To know that you can’t picture your life any other way.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not. Losing you isn’t fair either.”

Emma choked back her tears. “What are you saying?”

“I love you, Ems, I’ll always love you, but…” She felt her heart crumble in her chest. “I don’t know if I’m a big enough man to look in that boy’s eyes and know he’s Killian’s every single day and not feel like I’m having a knife stabbed in my chest every time he stares back.”

“He can still be your son.”

“I’m not walking out of his life. I’ll always be there for Henry, and after I learn to be ok with this, I’ll be the best Uncle I can be, but I’m not there yet.”

“What about us? I swear to you, I never looked at another man once we moved in together.” She cried.

“I think we need some time...”

“I don’t want time, I want you.” She begged.

“And if you still feel that way after some time apart, then we’ll talk. But right now, I can’t be with you.” Emma’s tears pooled in her eyes, she felt heartbroken and embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, we’ll talk alright. Whatever happens, you’re gonna be alright.” He stood up, looking at her one more time. “I’ll contact all the appropriate people and make the cancellations, just take care of Henry. I’m gonna stay at the office for a while, you take the apartment. I’ll come see you in a few weeks.”

“I don’t know how to do this.” She cried.

“You’re the strongest woman I know, don’t count yourself out yet.” He walked away, disappearing around the corner before Emma sunk down into the lounger, covering her face as she sobbed.

~*~

Killian watched the boy playing in his stroller, the way his lip turned up when he smiled, the sparkle of his blue eyes.

“How’s your eye?” Robin asked from the bed.

“I’ll live. He should have hit me harder.”

There was a knock on the door and Robin got up to open it. Liam walked through the door and nodded at Robin. When their eyes met, Killian looked at the ground. He was sure his brother had to be disappointed in him.

“He’s have a conversation with Emma now.” Liam announced. “Had to do a lot of talking to make that happen instead of what he wanted to do.”

“What’s that?” Killian asked.

“Kick your ass.” He laughed.

“You should have let him.” He exhaled.

“Cut the martyr shit. The way I see it you had sex with a woman at a convention center. Nothing villainous about that.”

“He’s been raising a kid that he thought was his for two years.”

“Which you knew nothing about, right?”

“I wouldn’t have lied to him about that for two bloody years.”

“Alright then, that’s the end of it.” His brother said matter-of-factly.

“Mama.” The boy babbled from his stroller. “Want mama.” He said with a frown, tears threatening in the angry corners of his eyes.

Killian looked at Robin and Liam for assistance. “He’s your kid.” Liam shrugged.

“I don’t know what to do with him, I’ve been a dad for all of 24 hours.”

“Then you better figure it out fast.” Liam said, raising his brow, a look that told Killian that Liam had expected that Killian would be taking his responsibilities seriously from now on.

Killian bent down, pulling the boy from the stroller. “Ok lad, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing here, so I’m gonna need you to work with me here.” He held the toddler against his chest.

“Mama.”

“I know, she’ll be back soon, right now you’re stuck with me.” He laughed.

“Maybe that’s the cause for his angst.” Robin joked and Liam gave him a disapproving nod.

“I’m Killian.” He announced to the boy. “You don’t know me yet, but I’m hoping we can be friends.” He spoke softly and the child stopped crying as if trying to hear his words. “I know I haven’t been around before, but I promise I’m not going anywhere.” His mouth was set in a frown, large beads of water sat on his chubby cheeks from the tears he had shed.

The boy reached out and put a hand on Killian’s cheek and he felt his heart stop.

There was a knock on the door and Liam stepped back to open it. Neal was standing on the other side of the door. Killian supposed it was a good thing he was holding Henry, at least this way he was certain Neal wouldn’t strike him while he was holding the lad. They made eye contact and Killian suddenly felt guilty for holding Henry, his heart broke at the way Neal seemed to shrink from the sight of seeing Killian holding the boy he had thought until today was his son.

“I think we need to talk.” He responded, and Killian nodded.

“Aye.”

“Let’s get something to eat.” Liam announced, smacking Robin lightly on the back. “No fighting.” He lectured them both as if they were children. When the door closed behind them, Killian walked over to the stroller and set Henry into his seat.

“You have no idea how much I looked forward to you meeting him, and now…” He sighed. “Now seeing you with him…”

“I’m sorry, Neal, I truly am.”

“All our lives you beat me in everything, you were the first to walk, said your first words earlier than me, took the prom queen to the dance…”

“None of that was a competition.”

“Maybe not to you, remember Sandy Griffins?” Killian shook his head that he didn’t. “Of course you don’t, because she didn’t mean anything to you, but she meant everything to me. She was the first woman I ever loved, I waited for her at the coffee shop every day for a year waiting to ask her out. And then out of nowhere, she shows up with you.”

“Ever think that maybe if you had spoken to her in that year instead of just watching her, you might have gotten to her first?”

“It never mattered, you were the one who could draw, you became the architect, and I was always just the other guy.”

“I wasn’t out to get you, Cassidy.”

“Maybe not, but this time, this time I won. I found the most amazing woman I had ever laid eyes on, and she was mine. And I made sure she stayed mine. I kept her away from you. And finally, I had the life, a woman I was going to marry, and a boy, a beautiful perfect baby boy who was all mine!” Killian sighed sadly. “And somehow you took all of that away from me again.”

“Why did you never talk to me about how you felt before? I’ve always loved you like a brother; I have never held ill will or malice toward you. But you have to know that if I had known that Emma was your girlfriend I never would have pursued her.”

“And yet here we are.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Leave. Go back to England and never come back. Stay away from Emma and Henry.” He spoke in an even but flat tone. Killian stared at his friend before looking down at the boy in the stroller.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“Not even to save our relationship?” He asked.

“You’re my brother and I love you, and I’m sorry for what this has done to you, I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling right now, but I won’t abandon the boy. I may not have been there when he was born or been able to watch him grow like you have, but I am the boy’s father, and I would never walk away from that responsibility.” He paused. “Even for you.”

His jaw tensed and then he pushed away from the wall, causing his body to tense. “Good.” Killian shook his head in confusion. “You’re right, you haven’t been there. Did you know that Emma was in labor for 23 hours with him?” Killian gestured that he didn’t. “It was a hell of a pregnancy, she was sick most of the time, and when she went into labor she wasn’t even sure she could get through the ordeal. But Emma’s a strong woman and even after 23 hours she kept her strength and Henry was brought into the world at three o’clock in the morning. I took one look at him, and I knew I would protect him for the rest of my life.”

“I’m not trying to take your place.”

“I know. But he’s gonna need his father, and don’t you dare let anything, including me, ever get in the way of you being there for him.” He wrapped his arms around Neal’s back and embraced him. When they finally broke the hug, he looked at the man.

“So now what?”

“Now I go lick my wounds and figure out who I am.”

“What about Emma?”

He sighed. “I don’t know.”

“She came home to you; she chose you to be Henry’s father.”

“I know, but there’s something I learned about Emma a long time ago. She has a fear of being abandoned, did you know her parents left her when she was a child, just tossed her out like she was trash. Emma would never want that for her son. She would have stayed with me even if it wasn’t her choice.”

“But you were her choice.”

“Yes, her only choice, because she couldn’t find you.”

“That’s not fair, we spent one night together, that doesn’t mean that my being in her life would have made a difference in whether she choose you or not.”

“Perhaps not, but a part of me will always wonder.”

“But you love her.” He argued.

“You know me, I’m a selfish prick, I love that woman, but if I have to wonder if she loves me as much as I love her, the moment I question that, it’s never going to be enough.”

“So, you’re just going to end things with her? Just like that, the day before your wedding?”

“Don’t get too excited, I’ll still kick your ass if you pursue her right now.” He said seriously.

“You really think that little of me?”

Neal sighed. “She’s an amazing woman, I wouldn’t blame you for going after her, I’m just asking that you don’t. I don’t know what’s going to happen between her and I, but I’d like to have the opportunity to figure that out. You’re Henry’s father, there’s nothing I can do about that, but until an hour ago, she was going to be my wife.”

“You have my word.”

“Now…” He said with a laugh. “I think I’m going to drown my sorrows in beer.”

“You want company.”

“Not tonight, maybe next time.” He said with a smile that told Killian that even though things felt awful now, eventually they would be ok.

He walked over to Henry’s stroller and ruffled the boy’s hair. “He really does look like you.” He smiled widely. “Poor kid.”

And with that, Neal walked out the door.

~*~

Emma wandered the grounds of the hotel for what felt like hours, she knew she needed to get back to her son, to go home and pick up the pieces from the explosion that was her life. She felt emotionally numb by the time she found herself standing in front of Killian’s hotel room. She knocked on the door and waited until she saw his face on the other side of the door.

“Are you alright, love?”

“I’m honestly not sure right now.” She laughed. “But I will be.”

She stepped into the room, seeing her son sitting on the floor surrounded by a mountain of pillows and blankets. She caught his eye and laughed. “I wasn’t sure if it was safe for him to roam.”

She sat down in the middle of the pillow fort and covered her eyes. The little boy laughed and grabbed her hands away from her face. “Mama pee a boo.” She laughed, scooping the boy into her arms, and squeezed him tightly. “Too much.” He complained and Emma released him with a giggle.

“Sorry baby.”

“What will you do now?”

“Well, the wedding is off.” She sighed. “Not that I should have been surprised by that.”

“Aye, I heard. I’m sorry.” She stood up, looking at his face.

“Does it hurt?” She touched his eye and he winced.

“Just my pride.” He joked.

“So, when do you go back to London?”

“I have to do a presentation on Sunday for an important client, my flight leaves tomorrow morning.”

She shook her head and exhaled. “Well, I hope you’ll keep in touch. I did mean it; I want him to know his father.”

“Aye, I was going to talk to you about that.” He paused. “I do have to go home for a short time, but I would like to return, have an opportunity to get to know the lad. If you’ll permit it.”

“I would like that, but doesn’t your brother need you at home?”

“I think he can manage without my physical presence. I haven’t taken a vacation in years.”

“As long as you are sure, I don’t want to be the cause of any more problems for you.” She said seriously, not wanting to inconvenience the man’s life further after upending everything he knew in the span of 24 hours.

“You’ve given me the opportunity to get to know my son, you’re trusting me with something so precious to you, and I don’t intend to let you down.”

She felt the tears slide across her cheek, afraid that she was about to break down again, not wanting to show that kind of weakness in front of the man in the room. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to hold it together here.” She laughed, looking up to see him walking toward her. She tensed when he reached her.

“Even the strongest woman is allowed to fall apart now and then.” And without another word, he wrapped her in his arms and held her against his chest. For the first time that day, Emma let someone else be her strength as she released all of her weight against him, letting the tears fall freely. She allowed him to lead her to the corner of the bed, pulling her down on his lap as she released the remaining grief and anger of the last few hours, letting the stress fall free from her.

She didn’t know how long they sat like that, how long she allowed him to brush his fingers through her hair, to whisper reassurances against her scalp. She didn’t know why she even allowed a man she had barely known for more than a few days to see her so vulnerable; she only knew that she didn’t want to feel alone.

“Mama, up.” She turned her head to see her son pulling himself up to stand beside her. Emma simply reacted, lifting her son into her lap, and kissing the boy’s cheek. It was only then that she realized how ridiculous the moment was. Holding her son while she sat in Killian’s lap on his bed in the middle of his hotel room.

She looked up, meeting his eye as his dark orbs looked through her, his hand drawing lazy circles against her back. “I uh…”

He cleared his throat, moving his arm, giving her the opportunity to remove herself from his embrace. “Yeah, it’s getting late, I’m sure the lad is tired.”

He helped her put Henry’s things into the stroller and walked her to the door. Emma turned before she reached it. “Killian…” She paused when she realized how close he was to her. “I don’t know that I can give you anything more than the chance to know Henry. I mean, I just ruined one relationship before I could walk down the aisle, I’m not sure that I’m going to be ready for anything besides friendship.”

“I get that you find me devilishly handsome, striking one might say, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to control yourself around me, love.”

“Ok smartass.” She smirked, pulling the door open and pushing the stroller into the hall. “Don’t be a stranger.” She remarked before making her way back to her empty apartment.

~*~

A few years later

“Happy birthday to you.” A chorus of voices sang to the boy at the table.

“Make a wish baby.” Emma told her son and Killian watched him blow out the candles, his eyes squeezed shut. He could hardly believe the boy was turning four.

“What did you wish for, lad?” Killian asked the boy.

“I can’t tell you that, daddy.” The boy giggled when Killian lifted him out of his chair and blew kisses against his neck.

“Ok, put him down before he pukes up his pizza.” Emma swatted at Killian as she brought the plates to the table. “Do you want cake, Neal?”

“I’m watching my weight, Ems.” Neal joked as he pressed a hand to his stomach.

“Watching it go where?” Killian remarked with a wink.

“Bite me, Jones. I’m serious, I’ve been going to the gym five times a week lately. You might want to step inside one now and then, those jeans are looking a little tight.” Killian waited until Emma turned around before flipping Neal the bird.

“Would you two make yourself useful and deliver these to the backyard.” She passed a plate to each of them and pushed them out the backdoor.

“Women.” Neal remarked loudly before she shut the door behind them. “We’ve got cake.” Neal announced to the men in the backyard.

“Finally.” Robin took the plate from Killian’s hands and dug in immediately. “Did Em make this?” Killian rolled his eyes as the man spoke with his mouth full, sitting down in the seat across from his brother.

“Store bought, when do you think Ems would have time to bake?” Neal joked. “I swear she hasn’t stopped working for two months straight.”

“Someone should give her a day off.” Killian stated loudly as he popped the cap on his beer.

“Trust me, I’ve tried.” Liam responded. “She always cancels it.”

“Who needs a vacation when I have you guys.” Emma’s voice interrupted them, with Henry running through the backyard holding a small sailboat in his hand and a cowboy hat on his head.

“Look what dad got me.” Henry announced, holding the boat up proudly in his hands.

“That’s a pretty neat ship there, lad.” His brother inspected the small boat.

“Where’d you get the cool hat, son?”

“Uncle Neal.” He said loudly. “You wanna try it on?” He pushed the hat into his hands and Killian slipped it onto his head.

“You’re head’s too big, daddy.”

“You’re just not cool enough for the hat, Jones.” Neal teased, lifting Henry into his arms, and running through the yard with him.

“You want to go out tonight?” Robin asked when it was just he and Killian left at the table. Killian looked across the yard at Emma throwing away plates of food.

“I think I’m just gonna help clean up here and head back to the hotel. I have a couple projects I need to complete. Wouldn’t want the boss to fire me if I miss my deadline.”

“All work and no play, brother.” Liam said with a wink.

His eyes continued to follow Emma who was watching her son play with Neal with a soft smile on her face. Killian could hardly believe how much his life had changed since finding out Henry was his.

The first few months had been awkward and sometimes quite explosive. While Neal was accepting of his inclusion in Henry’s life, he wasn’t always accommodating. Killian had been true to his word, while he still lived in London, he made sure to visit the boy a few times a month. Flying back and forth was exhausting and after a few months he realized he couldn’t keep up at that pace.

He had begun spending every other month in the states, doing virtual presentations to complete his job tasks and then returning to London and keeping up with Zoom calls to Henry and Emma. It wasn’t always easy, but Killian was determined to make it work.

Spending time with the boy had been more rewarding than anything else he had ever done in his life. The first time he called him daddy, Killian thought his heart had stopped. It was the greatest day of his life.

Emma had been very helpful in learning the new role of being a father, she was always patient with him, always offering tips when Henry wasn’t looking to assist him in doing the right thing. He admired her for the way she was raising the boy on her own. Even if Neal and Killian were always around to take turns watching him when she had to work, or even just spending the day with him to allow her to sleep, Emma was always taking care of her boy.

He had been the one to suggest to his brother to hire Emma on as a designer for the firm. She was working day and night for half the pay at the company she was employed by, and Killian knew that working for his brother would allow her medical insurance and benefits for her and Henry. The move had paid off, Emma was a great asset to the company, she was very talented, though she said it had more to do with her adding a woman’s perspective to a company full of men.

Either way, Killian was happy to have her, even if it was not in the way he wanted to have her. Killian had made the promise to Neal not to pursue Emma while they were figuring out their relationship and he had kept his word. As far as he knew, Neal had begun dating other women, maintaining a relationship with Henry as “Favorite Uncle” just as he had promised.

Emma did not seem concerned with Neal’s dating, nor did she seem interested in dating anyone herself.

Killian had spent so much of his time focused on his son that women had become something of a non-issue to him. He had no time to focus on anything besides his son…and Emma. They had become good friends during the past few years, he had even spent the night at her new home on multiple occasions while visiting Henry. After many nights spent on her couch, the next visit he found a portable bed set up for him in the office.

They had flirted on occasion, usually after nights of having a couple of drinks after work, but never anything that crossed the line between them. Not that he hadn’t thought of it, he had on many occasions, but never acted on it for fear or ruining the peace they had found in their little family.

“You know, Neal is bringing a woman with him tonight. Tamra I think is her name.” His brother interrupted his thoughts.

“I don’t think I’ve heard her name before.”

“I met her last time we visited, but I think it might be serious this time.”

“Interesting, he never mentioned her.” Killian said with a shrug.

“Well, I think he’d like to sire his own children eventually without your assistance.” Robin joked and Killian laughed loudly. “You sure you haven’t been with a woman lately, perhaps he’d better show you a photo of his date before they take this any further.”

“Very funny, Mate.” Killian growled.

“My point has been lost.” Liam continued. “It appears that Neal has moved on, which leaves other options open to you.”

“Other options?” Killian asked with a raise of his brow.

“Perhaps with the boy’s mother?”

Killian frowned and turned his attention toward Emma. “I’m uncertain how to navigate through those dangerous waters.”

His brother stood, watching the scene in front of them. “A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets.”

The rest of the evening his brother’s words resonated in his brain like a clock that wouldn’t stop ticking in his ear. He had a choice, do nothing, and let everything continue how it was, a peace between Emma, Neal, and himself. Or pursue an opportunity with Emma, and risk upending everything they had built.

He lifted the garbage bag out of the trash can, tying it off and walking it to the curb. When he returned to the house, Emma was standing at the sink washing dishes. “I think that’s all of it.” He announced and she turned toward him with a smile before returning to the task at hand.

“I just put Henry down if you want to catch him before he’s asleep.”

He nodded and walked to the back room, peeking into the room at his son. “Hey kiddo, did you have a great birthday?”

“The best.” He beamed happily. “Are you leaving?”

“Aye, as soon as the house is back in ship shape order.” The boy frowned. “But I’ll be back tomorrow before I leave for my flight.”

He sat up in his bed as Killian approached him. “Why don’t you live here?” Killian had always expected this conversation, though he wasn’t prepared with how he would respond.

“Well, my work is in London.” He sat down next to his son.

“But I’m here.” He said with a whine. “And mommy.”

“I know, and I’ll be back to see you next month.” He ran his hands through the boy’s hair, a frown forming on the child’s face.

“But I’ll miss you.”

Killian’s heart broke seeing his son upset, he would do anything in the world for the boy not to see him hurt. “I know Henry, perhaps I can convince your mother to take a vacation and you could come and visit me in London, would you like that?”

He smiled brightly, “Would I get to fly?”

“Absolutely.” He leaned over and kissed the boy on his head, laying him back against his pillow. “Now get some sleep, it was a busy day for you today.”

“I love you daddy.”

Killian smiled, kissing the boy’s forehead. “I love you too, my boy. Have pleasant dreams.”

He stepped out into the hall and found Emma standing against the wall. “Now he won’t stop talking about flying for a month.” She said with a smile.

“Sorry if I overstepped, but I would very much enjoy it if Henry came for a visit.”

“I think he would like that too.” She said, handing him a glass, he took a sip and smiled.

“Dark and stormy, haven’t had one of these in a while.” He followed her to the living room and took a seat next to her on the couch.

“I’ve been thinking…”

He narrowed his eyes. “I hope it didn’t hurt too much.”

She pushed her shoulder against his with a small laugh. “What if Henry and I came to stay with you next month?”

“You’re serious?”

“Liam has been bugging me about coming to visit headquarters, he has a few clients he wanted to get me in touch with over there, thought it might be a good time to do it.”

“So, you’re just coming for business purposes?”

“And so that Henry can visit you, unless you know of any other reason for me to visit?”

He swallowed, watching her eyes dance playfully as she stared at him. “Perhaps if you had a friend with knowledge of the town, he might give you a tour.”

“I have plenty of friends in London.” She said with a shrug.

“Maybe a friend with a bit more intimate knowledge of…” He leaned toward her.

“What if I was interested in something a little less friend and a little more intimate.” His eyes widened and a smirk grew on his face.

“That depends, love.” She frowned, glaring at him. “Do you intend to give the gent your name first?” She slapped him on the shoulder, shoving against him playfully, and his hand wrapped around the back of her neck, pulling her against him as his lips captured hers. Kissing her was different than he remembered, not the act itself, but the feeling that immediately overtook him when she returned the kiss with passion. It was like electricity attacking his spine, and the rate that his heart was pounding in his chest was faster than he remembered.

When they pulled apart, she kept eyes closed, her tongue gliding against her lips as if she were savoring his taste. When she finally opened her eyes, she was staring at him with uncertainty, as if she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say next.

“That was…” She blinked slowly as if caught in a trance.

“Worth the wait.” He finished. “Though I would have waited a lifetime if that’s what you wanted.”

“Why? All these years you never even attempted to hit on me.” She asked seriously.

“You’re the mother of my child, my best friend’s ex, a co-worker, and the love of my life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to navigate through that kind of storm?”

“I’m sorry, can you back up a minute, I’m what?”

“Mother of my child, my best friends…”

“Not that part!”

“You’re the love of my life.” He replied honestly. “I never wanted to push you in one direction or the other, I told you I would be here for you as a friend and I meant it, but that hasn’t stopped me from falling in love with you. You are incredibly talented, a hard worker, a beautiful woman. Believe me, I’ve tried not to develop feelings for you, but watching you each day with our son, the way you care for him, how deeply you love, I couldn’t stop myself.”

She launched herself into his arms, her lips attacking his mouth, his jaw, it was as if she were enveloping him in her embrace. Suddenly she pulled back, her eyes dark and wanting. “Hi.” She said softly and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hey.”

“Not to sound too forward, but I find you very attractive, perhaps even striking, and the accent is sexy as hell. I was thinking maybe you’d want to spend the night with me?”

“That’s mighty presumptuous of you, love?” She bit her lip. “However, while you are correct in your assumption, I was actually hoping it would be more than just the one night.”

“How long were you thinking?” She asked with a look of hope in her eyes.

“However long you’ll have me, Emma Swan.” He grinned.

“I’m thinking it might be a long time, Killian Jones.” She smirked.

“Aye, that it may.” Lifting her from the couch, he carried her to her room knowing that tomorrow she would wake in his arms, and they would start a new chapter. A chapter of family, a chapter of forgiveness, a chapter of love in the lives of Killian Jones and Emma Swan.

#stacy's fics #a story in the life #killian jones #emma swan #captain swan modern au #captain swan #captain swan fics #captain swan au

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starlightsearches · 4 years

Text

Hux Fluff Alphabet

As promised, here is the fluff alphabet for General Hux! I said I would work on this when things were less crazy for me, but that was a huge lie, lol. I had a great time finishing up the rest of these prompts, and I hope you guys have a great time reading them. Enjoy!

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Hux is a sucker for a nice smile. It’s one of the things he first noticed about you—he wasn’t used to seeing anyone smile around him. He catches himself staring at you from across the bridge, your lips quirking up at the corners whenever you notice, and it still makes his heart stop. Every. Single. Time.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Not actively. Neither of your lifestyles are very conducive to a child. He doesn’t mind children though, and sometimes—on the rare occasion that he lets his mind wander—he wonders what it would be like to raise a child of his own.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Hux rarely initiates physical contact with you—it’s just not something he’s really comfortable with. However, he will give non-verbal queues, little changes in his position or demeanor to let you know that he wants attention.

If you’re sitting together on the couch or laying next to each other in bed, he’ll shift slightly, open up space so that you can move in closer. His favorite position for cuddling is when you lay your head on his chest and he’ll wrap an arm around your waist. He likes to feel you so solidly against him—it helps remind him that you’re real, that you’re there, that you love him.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Hux doesn’t have much time for dates, so they’re few and far between. When he gets the chance, he likes to take you planet-side—for fine dining, shows, whatever you’d like. He just wants to spoil you, because you deserve it 🥰

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

For Hux, you are his serenity. Whenever you’re with him, all the worry, all the panic, it stops. Being with you is like the first breath of air after diving in deep and turbulent waters.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Any relationship with Hux moves slowly. He wouldn’t want to be too forward, and this is the first time he’s been with someone this way. It’s the little things that clue him in to how he really feels about you—like how, no matter how many times it’s happened, his heart still stutters every time you kiss him, how happy you are to see his rare smiles, how understanding you are of his needs.

The first time you tell him you love him, he’s gripped with anxiety. He’s only heard those words one, maybe two times in his life, and he’s never said them himself.

You seem to understand what he’s feeling, even in his silence, nuzzling your head closer to his chest and whispering the words, “it’s okay if you can’t say it yet—I don’t mind waiting,” and he wants to cry, can’t process how it feels to be known by you. He tells you he loves you, then and there. He thinks he always has.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

YES! Yes, yes, yes a million times yes, especially at the beginning of your relationship. Hux treats you like you’re made of glass, or smoke, like if he’s not careful you might disappear. His kisses are slow and sensual, his touches are feather-light. Later on, he’s a little less nervous about it. He just can’t stand the idea of hurting you, on accident or not.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Hux holds your hands with purpose. He’s almost always working, so when he takes time to appreciate that little bit of intimacy, it’s all he lets himself focus on. He’ll hold both of your hands in his, pulling them close to his chest to shrink the space between you so he can stare into your eyes, occasionally brushing gentle kisses along your knuckles.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Hux appreciates hard work. The first time he truly noticed you, it was because he recognized your drive and determination, your hunger for success. Later he comes to appreciate all your other wonderful qualities, but it’s your loyalty that stays with him whenever he’s gripped with fear—the unwelcome thoughts that some times intrude, thoughts that you might leave him.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Short answer: yes. Longer answer: All. The. Time. He just has such a hard time believing that you like him. And he has to believe that everyone wants you—after all, why wouldn’t they?

He gets a little mopey when he thinks you might have feelings for someone else, a little standoffish, and he needs a lot of reassurance. Luckily, you’re more than happy to show him that he’s the only one for you 😘

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Hux’s kisses always start slow. He’ll cup his hand around your neck, hold you close, admiring you for a moment before he presses his lips to yours softly.

He always begins gently, but once he’s started, it’s hard for him to stop. Sometimes you’ll find yourself pulling away from him with no way to tell how much time has passed, his hair ruffed up and falling into his face and your uniform in disarray from his wandering hands.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

You, probably. Hux isn’t very good at expressing how he feels, and more likely than not, he thinks the risk is too great unless he’s absolutely certain that you feel the same.

Your palms are sweating when it happens, your hands clammy from being in such close proximity with him again. Just the two of you.

He’s babbling on about some plans or to-do list and your heart hurts, a physical, blinding pain because you’ve wanted him for so long and now you’re so close.

He stops mid-sentence when you place your hand over his, and the look you give him speaks volumes, speaks oceans but he still can’t help but feel surprised when you lean over and press a tentative kiss to the side of his mouth.

He’s silent in the moments after, a hard set to his brow and you’re on fire with embarrassment. You turn to go, ready to run as far as you can, knowing that there’s no place far enough away to escape your shame. You’re out of your chair before he takes you by the hand, pulls you gently to your seat and then whispers, “please, do that again.”

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

The first time you shared a bed together. He can’t remember ever sleeping so well as he did that first night.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Hux absolutely spoils, but he can be shy about it. You’ll find little gifts and trinkets waiting for you when you go to visit him in his quarters, and he’ll look away as you open them, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye to catch your soft smile. He’ll blush and stammer—talking about how he saw it and thought of you, how he can pick out something else if you don’t like it. He only goes silent once you press a soft kiss to his unsuspecting lips, whispering about how much you love your gift.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

I would say calming colors, like blues or greens or maybe even yellow on certain days. Anything that reminds him of living things, and life beyond the Finalizer.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

I think if he were really close to someone, he would use some pretty classic terms of endearment, like love, or darling. He prefers it when his SO calls him by name—he’s heard it so rarely in his life, and you say it with so much love that he can scarcely believe it, but I do think calling him general or sir in a playful tone is an easy way to get him going 😬

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Hux loves to steam and press his own uniforms. It’s calming for him, and allows him to start his day with a little bit of order. He’ll put them on while they’re still warm, enjoying the smell of soap and the lingering heat.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

He doesn’t spend that much time planet-side, but rainy days are very contemplative for Hux. They remind him a lot of his childhood, and he’ll find himself staring out the window, lost in thought. He appreciates it when you’re there for him, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him away from those reminders of his past and back into the present with a soft hug and a cup of tea.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Hux doesn’t have a lot of time to feel sad, and he’s gotten really good at burying his emotions after everything that he’s been through.

Sometimes, though, those feelings bubble to the surface without warning. When he needs comfort, he’ll go and find Millie for a quick, soothing snuggle. If he can’t go all the way back to his quarters, he’ll replay memories of her as a kitten over in his mind.

If you’re feeling down, Hux will make sure that he’s there for you. He’s a problem-solver, he likes to fix things, but if you ask him to just listen, he’ll do it. He’ll let you rest your head on his shoulder as he sits silently and your tears will drip down into the fabric of his uniform and it just feels good to be with him. You feel lighter when you’re together.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Hux tends to think out loud—especially when he’s in a place where he feels safe. You first notice him mumbling under his breath early on in your relationship, when you’re working together late at night, whispers about tasks he has to finish or reminders for himself. As time goes on, he’ll speak of more personal things—his wants for the future, little things that happened to him during the day that he thinks you might find funny.

He’s a very good listener, though. If you need to vent on a bad day or if there’s something you’re really excited about, he’ll be with you, all of his attention focused on whatever it is you have to say. He doesn’t speak much during these conversations, but you cherish them. It’s one of the ways he shows you that he cares.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Anything that takes his mind off work. Hux likes tasks that he can do without much thought, like laundry or washing dishes. If he’s feeling really stressed, sometimes he’ll draw a bath and ask you to join him, the heat of the water seeping into his aching muscles, the gentle trace of your fingers reminding him that, even with all the opposition in his life, there’s someone on his side.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Hux likes to let his actions speak for himself. He’s spent so much time surrounded by people who have never believed in his abilities, and showing off feels pathetic in that frame of mind. That being said, he is proud of his intellect and his achievements. He’s worked very hard to earn the title he possesses, and he knows that he’s smarter than most of the people he’s surrounded by.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

This man loves to plan. He’s not about to ask such an important question just anywhere, and he’s certainly not going to do it on the Finalizer. He does his research—looks for a planet that’s beautiful, safe, and private.

He writes out the perfect words, recites them to himself over and over again in the weeks before (whether or not he remembers them in the moment is an entirely different story).

You say yes, of course. He could have asked you anywhere, at anytime, without any planning. You just want to be with him.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

I don’t think Hux listens to a lot of music—he finds it distracting when he’s trying to work, and he’s almost always trying to work. That being said, here are some songs that remind me of him:

Work Song by Hozier

Gun Song by The Lumineers

Shrike by Hozier

False God by Taylor Swift

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Before he met you, Hux was sure that he’d never get married. He’d tell Phasma that he didn’t have time for an SO, that a relationship would be a liability, that he was married to the Order, and a million other reasons he didn’t want it.

Once your together, though, he thinks about it all the time. You’ll be sitting at your station, or in his quarters sipping caff in the mornings, or you’ll reach for his hand late at night while you’re both working, and suddenly he’s overcome with the feeling that he wants to be like this forever. He needs you to be his in every way imaginable. And once he starts thinking about it, he doesn’t stop.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

I think Millicent is the only pet he needs!

#armitage hux x reader #armitage hux x you #general hux x you #general hux x reader #hcs #general hux hcs #armitage hux hcs #my writing #long post

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et-lesailes · 4 years

Text

always hungry

pairing: dad!johnny storm x reader

word count: 2399

summary: despite having a baby boy together, you and johnny don’t have the most conventional relationship.

themes: family life, fluff, romance, smut, lactation kink

taglist: @evanstush, @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebastian-i-stan, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @hannie-stark, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed, @whores4thor, @gingerninjaprincess16, @straightforwardly, @denisemarieangelina, @frencchfries, @xlanawriter, @littlemoistcarrot, @pottxrwolff, @arianatheangelworld, @ifuseekamyevans, @southerngracela, @nsfwsebbie, @rororo06, @savemesteeb, @raveviolet, @inactivewhore

notes: sorry for the delay guys! hope you all enjoy :) graphic creds go to @thewritingdoll !

“So you guys are still… just friends.” Your best friend Madison looks at you with an arched brow, and you laugh as you take a sip of your drink. “Yup.” You affirm, and you see her exchange glances with your other friend, Leah. “Just friends… who have a baby together.” Madison states, the corner of her lips barely tugging upwards with amusement. You laugh again, making a face. “Can you stop? It just… it works for us, okay? Isn’t this better than him having left altogether and making me be a single mom? Besides, it’s more of an… open relationship kind of deal. I mean, he’s pretty sweet and lovey-dovey with me, you know? And we still sleep together. With protection.” You quickly add seeing the looks on your friends’ faces, though you can understand why they’re so skeptical and wary.

You and Johnny have never had a conventional relationship. You went from best friends to friends with benefits to admitting you had feelings for each other but also acknowledging neither of you were ready for a committed relationship. You had always been a bit too independent for your own good, and Johnny, well… he was Johnny. He was girl crazy, and he was too scared to be exclusive with only one- and you were absolutely fine with that.

And then he accidentally knocked you up. Finding out you were pregnant changed your entire life overnight. You had always wanted to be a mom, but you had never imagined it would happen like this. There was a lot of anxiety, tears, and heart-to-hearts with your best friends before you finally brought yourself to tell Johnny what had happened. At first, he was simply shocked. He told you he needed time to process, and you didn’t hear from him for about two weeks. It had been an awful time considering you were still stressing out about what to do with the pregnancy- when you assumed Johnny would simply never talk to you again, he suddenly came to your front door, telling you he was ready. He valued your friendship above anything else, and he was willing to take a part in the baby’s life if you were.

Now here you are, over a year later, proud mom to your baby boy Blaise Franklin Storm. Going through the pregnancy with Johnny by your side had its ups and downs, but it was actually quite shocking how supportive he was considering what an arrogant and sometimes juvenile playboy he could be. Now, the two of you practically act like a couple as it is, but it’s still not exclusive. Johnny’s free to do what he wants and you are as well, as long as both of you keep Blaise as priority- which isn’t difficult, considering the two of you are practically in love with him.

“An open relationship? Has he even slept with anyone recently?” Leah questions in amusement, crossing her arms. “Everytime you Snapchat or call us, Johnny’s there in the background. He’s practically attached to your hip, I’m surprised he’s not here right now.” You laugh softly, raising a brow. “Because he’s at home taking care of our son. You know, just a slightly important responsibility.” Madison scoffs, shaking her head to herself. “Are you really this blind, Y/N? This is Johnny we’re talking about. He wouldn’t have even known how to take care of a pet rock before Blaise came along, nor would he have even wanted to have one with a girl. Now he’s like, Dad of the Year. He obviously has feelings for you.” Leah immediately nods in agreement. “There’s no way he’d do something like this for just any friend of his. I see the way he looks at Blaise, and you, for that matter. He’s just lying to himself about his feelings.”

You want to brush off their ridiculous theories, but now that you think of it, he really hasn’t slept with another girl recently. Sure, he goes out partying and clubbing every now and then, but for the most part, he always comes back home to you after. Still, you shake your head as you finish your drink. “It’s fine, guys, really. I like the way our relationship is now. There’s no pressure, we’re good to each other, and we have the cutest baby in the world. Besides, both of us do better with the whole “no-strings-attached” thing, you know?” you said with a shrug, “So I want to keep it that way.”

“Um, I’m pretty sure your son is a pretty damn big string,” Madison replies, and you laugh, nudging her elbow. “You know what I meant! I mean the non-exclusive thing. Look, having a boyfriend isn’t my priority right now, and having a girlfriend isn’t his. We’re just… living. Raising a baby, having sex, you know… just… friend things.” You keep your face as straight as possible while your friends give you a look, before the three of you start cracking up. “Okay, okay, I know it’s weird.” You admit, “But I swear, it works. Just let it happen, alright?”

“Whatever you say, Y/N. As long as we get to be bridesmaids at the wedding,” Leah says with a playful smirk, and you roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” You glance at the time on your phone, clucking your tongue. “Anyways, I should probably get going. Last time I came back home from dinner and drinks with you guys, I walked in on Johnny playing peekaboo with Blaise using my underwear.” Your friends laugh as you stand up and gather your things. “Bring Blaise out next time! I want to squish his chubby little cheeks!” Leah calls as you leave, and you giggle as you nod, calling back, “Will do! See ya later!”

You come home to find your toddler adorned in a complete outfit of bubble wrap and a slightly oversized helmet, sitting in the yard giggling obliviously as Johnny is constructing an entire obstacle course consisting of cardboard boxes, toddler slides, and pipes. “Johnny!” you immediately exclaim, rushing over and scooping up Blaise. “What the hell are you doing?!” Johnny blinks and frowns, standing up and coming over. “Aw c’mon babe, me and B-Man are just having a little fun. He’s gonna love it, and look, I even put him in a protective outfit and everything. He’s fiiiine!”

Blaise looks up at you with a giggle as if in agreement and you sigh, though you can’t help but smile- he just looks so damn adorable with the helmet almost covering his eyes, his ridiculous bubble wrap outfit taking up an unnecessarily large space in your arms. “Johnny. He’s six months old. Can you please stick to normal games like peekaboo or something?” Despite your scolding words and look of exasperation, there’s still a fondness in your eyes as you glance at your partner. You know he’d never actually let Blaise come in harm’s way; you trust him entirely. Johnny grins as he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing at your cheek all over. “Our kiddo deserves to have way more fun than that. He’s a daredevil just like his handsome daddy, I already know it.” He playfully thumps Blaise’s helmet lightly. “Isn’t that right my little mini-me?” You watch as Blaise squeals in hysterical laughter, flouncing around in your arms. You already know Johnny’s right- Blaise is proving to be a carbon cop of him more and more each day, and you’re only slightly terrified of that.

“Okay. Anyways, I’m going to take my son inside and change him into normal clothes.” You reply, and Johnny scoffs playfully as he swats your ass on your way in. “Have it your way. You’re only going to make him grow up into a scaredy-cat.” You laugh in amusement as he follows you inside, arching an eyebrow. “I’m not sure if the two correlate, but okay.”

After changing Blaise into a comfy sleep onesie, it’s feeding time before he most likely drifts off to sleep. Johnny stands at the doorway, watching you as you settle yourself in the rocking chair of the nursery, cradling Blaise and pulling down your shirt and bra allowing your little baby to latch onto your nipple and start feeding. His father can’t help but come closer, gazing down at his little boy with fond eyes as he reaches down to stroke his wisps of light brown hair. “Look at that babe. Gonna be as handsome as his damn father, that’s for sure.” He marvels, and you chuckle softly, your eyes filled with love as you stare at his chubby face. “Hopefully he doesn’t break as many hearts as his father does,” you murmur, and Johnny smirks as he leans down and kisses your cheek. “Never gonna break yours though, sweetheart, and that’s all that matters right?”

It isn’t long before little Blaise is fast asleep, milk dribbling down his chin. You chuckle as you wipe it off carefully with a burp cloth, about to stand up, but Johnny extends his arms. “Let me, babe.” He gently takes the sleeping child from you and goes over to the crib, setting him down lightly. You smile to yourself remembering how long it had taken for him to get the hang of that-- Johnny Storm was generally anything but gentle. “Thanks,” you whisper as you get up and adjust your shirt, sighing softly in content as you peer over the crib. “Goodnight, sweet boy. Mommy loves you so much.”

“Daddy loves you even more. That’s why he’s going to make you the coolest baby on the block.” Johnny whispers right after, and you giggle softly as you smack his arm. “Okay, okay, c’mon. Let’s go to bed, I’m exhausted.” He scoffs as he walks alongside you, shaking his head. “Oh, no. You can’t be exhausted, because you’re forgetting something.” You blink, stepping into the bedroom and glancing up at him. “What? Did I leave something out in the kitchen?” You’re about to leave to go check but he rolls his eyes and grabs your arm. “No, no-- get back in here, woman.” He pulls you to him only to scoop you up, walking over to the bed and playfully throwing you onto it. “You forgot to feed your other man.” His smirk is wide as he looks down at you, crawling over you as he nibbles on his lip. “And he’s really hungry right now, baby girl…”

You scoff in amusement though can’t deny you’re already feeling turned on, reaching up to run your fingers through his buzzed hair. “He’s always hungry.” You mutter in response, yet allow him to push your top and bra up. “The little guy better have saved some for me.” You exhale shakily as he leans in, tongue running over your already leaking nipple. His lips slowly wrap around it, sucking with a devilish gaze in his eyes as he peers up at you. “Mm… you are… so tasty baby girl,” he mumbles, greedy tongue swirling around your sensitive bud as he keeps lapping up your milk. You can’t help but moan, tilting your head back and letting out a sigh of content. When your breasts are practically full and sore, Johnny always helps you feel better and lighter- even if he has a tendency to get rough at times.

Still, he helps you feel more confident about yourself- in the beginning, you had always been a little embarrassed about leaking and slightly shy of breastfeeding. The first time he had suggested tasting your milk, you thought the idea ridiculous and humiliating, but when you felt so heavy you could barely move one night, he convinced you. Ever since then, you couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling. You swear Johnny has a way of making anything feel good.

His large hand moves up, forefinger and thumb lightly pinching your other nipple and moving his mouth to catch the milk that sprays forth. “Mm… mmm…” he’s practically groaning to himself as he continues drinking, his other hand moving to rub your waist sensually enjoying the sounds of your whines and moans. “Johnny… o-oh…”

When he’s finally had his fill, he pulls back and runs his tongue over his lips, giving you a mischievous grin as he smacks them loudly. “Have I mentioned that you’re the sexiest baby mama in the entire damn universe?” he murmurs, kissing and pecking at your breasts lovingly before fixing your bra and top again. You look down at him with a breathless smile, moving to playfully pull him down to lie beside you and cuddling close. “Can I talk to you about something?” you suddenly ask softly, remembering your conversation with Madison and Leah earlier in the evening. He looks down at you curiously, nodding as he gently plays with your hair. “Yeah, of course babe. What’s up?”

“Have you, uh, been seeing other girls lately?” you ask curiously, absentmindedly running your fingers over his chest. “It’s fine if you are, of course, I was just wondering…” He scoffs, relaxing one arm behind his head and using the other to hold you close. “Uh, yeah, obviously. Don’t you know who I am? Of course I’m seeing other girls, they’re all over me. Duh.” He scoffs a little too loudly and you blink before looking up at him with a lifted brow. He looks back down at you before finally clearing his throat sheepishly. “Okay, ah… maybe not so much these days. I mean, I dance with ‘em at clubs and stuff, you know, but…” he pauses and shrugs, eyes locking onto yours. “Guess I don’t really need to see girls anymore.”

“Isn’t that… what you wanted?” you ask slightly confused, and he sighs as he pulls you into a hug, resting his head on top of yours. “That’s what I thought. And ya know, I still really do like going out and partying and doing my own thing- but I don’t want to be going off with some girl for the rest of the night, or having to keep in contact with her everyday. I just want to go home to you, and our son. That’s what I want at the end of the night more than anything else.”

You slowly smile, feeling almost euphoric. You tilt your head up and gently hold his face, kissing him softly. “Well that’s what you can have, babe. We’re all yours.”

#johnny storm x reader #johnny storm smut #johnny storm imagine #johnny storm fanfic #johnny storm fluff

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 3 years

Text

breathing.

OBISPO ‘BISHOP’ LOSA.

MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ request by @supervalcsi: Dear Aurora, my love, my sunshine, may I get prompt 12 from angst list with Bishop?? Thank you so much my friend! I love you!!! 💕💕💕💕

❝ prompt: “Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that”.

❝ words: about 1.3k.

❝ a / n: as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

“Didn't know where else to go”.

His voice sounds lower than normal, as if he is on the verge of tears but fighting against it. You don't ask him how he knows your address, giving him enough space to come inside your house. Bishop doesn't doubt then, guiding his steps through the door to let you close it behind your back as you turn around to face him.

Sometimes he goes to the bar you work in, outside of Santo Padre, in one of the lost roads to nowhere. The two of you spend the night talking about anything concrete, interchanging words. And you can assure that between both there's some kind of connection since you met.

But tonight, he looks too different than usual. The black bags under his eyes mean that he hasn't had much sleep the last few days. The grown beard melting with his well-groomed mustache let you know that he hasn't taken care of himself lately. Just surviving like a lost soul, in pain for something you don't know. Traveling your eyes to his hands, you quickly notice his reddened knuckles a little bit raw.

Licking your bottom lip, hesitating, you take the first step ahead to taste the waters, invading his personal space. Knowing that Bishop is not going to take one back, you shorten till the minimal distance among your bodies to wrap him with your arms. Trying to comfort him, you hug him as much tightly as you can, feeling the man reciprocating the gesture; clinging himself to you as if you were the anchor that helps him to stay afloat.

Only then, he breaks into pieces, letting the tears run down his cheeks as he rests his forehead on your shoulder. Landing one of your hands on the back of his head, you caress gently his hair, wanting to make him feel better. You're not going to ask if he doesn't want to talk. The interrogatories aren't part of your personality. You're the one who usually listens in silence, and maybe offers some kind of advice. But it's not what Bishop needs, not tonight.

Much to your regret, you pull yourself away slowly, without doing any sharp move. Sliding your fingers down by his shoulders to the folds of the black kutte, you help him to take it off so you can hang it on a chair in the living room. He's following you like a lost puppy, keeping his head bowed. Doing the same with the black hoodie, after unzipping it, you hold his hand to guide him through the hallway towards your room.

The place is submerged under the gloom, only illuminated by some streetlights outside, but enough to see the tears on his face. After cleaning them with your fingers, while he takes off his boots and undoes the belt to throw it somewhere, you give him some space to undress and place his jeans and his shirt on the chair next to the desk.

Once lying down on your bed, you welcome him again between your bare and warm arms, aware that he feels a little better by the way his breathing sounds more calmed. Urging Bishop to rest his head on your chest, you can't help but leave a tender kiss on it.

“Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that”.

Your voice is honeyed. A soft whisper transmitting him peace. Whilst his arms are surrounding your body and your left one is around his chest, your right hand caresses slowly his cheek; using your fingertips, barely watching the man close his eyes. Soon, his breathing is inappreciable, taking the same rhythm as yours.

Still half asleep you roll around the mattress, to hide your face from sunbeams, filling up your lungs with the strong manly scent from your unexpected visitor last night. Tightening the grip around you, Bishop sighs more awake than sleep, pressing his lips on your forehead for a kiss that lasts longer than expected. But you don't care. It doesn't bother you. Feels good, after all.

“Should I say sorry or thank you?” His throaty voice slides itself through your ears with sorrow and shame.

“You don't have to be sorry, nor thank me anything”.

The smile curving his lips brushes your forehead softly, slightly jumping your heart for no reason, apparently. Resting your heads over the pillow, without breaking the mess of legs and arms tangled you are, your eyes laid on each other. You don't know what time it is, but he looks more rested than yesterday.

“Two days ago… I lost someone important to me”.

“I'm sorry, Bish”.

“Yeah, me too. But things happen for a reason, isn't it?”

Briefly nodding, you're able to see him smiling again. A sleepy grin disappears after a short second. Closing his eyes again, the man sinks his face into the crook of your neck, holding you closer under his grip to his body. The soft gasp escaping his lips, after taking a breath of your sweet smells, makes you giggle because of the tickles.

But that bubble explodes when your phone rings. Normally, no one calls you before two at noon and it couldn't be this late.

“Don't answer, please…”

“Just lemme check who it is”.

Tossing a hand over your head, palming the nightstand until finding the phone, you place it in front of your head. Unknown number. You don't recognize it. Frowning confused, you poke Bishop's cheek to make him look at it. Seems like he recognizes it by the way he has to roll his eyes. Lying on his back and grabbing it, he slides his thumb over the screen to pick up the call.

“(Y/N)?”

“It's Obispo”.

“Jesus fucking Christ, brother, I'm too fucking old for these games. Been looking for you since yesterday morning, about having a heart attack”.

“Don't be dramatic, Taza… How the hell 'you have (Y/N)'s number? Actually, how the hell 'you know her?” Looking at you, the only thing you do is shrug confused. You haven't heard about this man in your life.

“I know you better than yourself, you should know it already”.

“I'm going to hang up”.

“Hey, hey, wait! You okay?”

“I was fucking okay till you call, enjoy my seat today”.

Not giving the man at the other side of the speaker the chance to respond, Bishop finishes the call, leaving the phone on the nightstand behind him.

“How did you know where I live?” You can't help but ask, showing up your curiosity.

“I went to the bar, hoping you were there. But your boss told me you were free, so I ended up threatening him to earn your address. He didn't want to tell me”.

“Maybe he thought you were a psycho”.

“Or a Mayan”.

“Yeah, that gang of Chicanos is pretty crazy too”.

“I hate that fucking name”.

Hearing Bishop laughing for the first time in a week makes you feel some nice shivers traveling your body, resting a leg over his lap and fitting your body to his.

“I came to you because you always cheer me up. No matter what. And I don't know how you do it, but I don't want you to stop”.

Lying by his side and placing a hand on the back of your thigh, to keep your leg over his, the Mexican slides his free arm under your neck with so much care.

“I like to see you happy, to see you smiling. It isn't something I can avoid”.

“What else you can't avoid?”

“The desire of asking you to stay”.

“I'm going to stay if you want me to stay”.

“What if I ask you to kiss me?”

Leaning towards you, the response doesn't wait. At first, Bishop just presses his lips against yours. A soft cramp that bristles your skin completely. Soon, your lips start to move slowly in sync, tasting each other, cutting off your breathings. It is better than you have fantasized sometimes while talking with him sitting on the bar and sharing old whisky in the small hours. And he feels good too, even if he continues carrying the sorrow because of his recent loss, knowing that he has won you somehow.

MAYANS MC: @multiyfandomgirl40 @countryash345 @skyofficialxx @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo @bellisperennis0 @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @purrrrfect @witching-hour @leathercladmenfics @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @queenbeered @sesamepancakes @gemini0410 @pinguinstudiert @oscars-wifeyyy @meteora-fc @lozaa94 @arveeee @joupym @hanster1998 @missswritings @arana-alpha @lucillewinchester @theocatkov @telfordlowmans @tclaerh @aurelie-celine @spideysimpossiblegirl

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #bishop losa #bishop losa imagine #bishop losa x reader #obispo losa x reader #obispo losa

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anchorandrope · 3 years

Text

larry songs in midnight memories and in four

masterpost

!!! | i’m not going to include the complete lyrics of all the songs so for a better understanding, look for them. all the songs were written by various people, but i’m just going to mention which ones harry participated in and which ones louis participated in.

STRONG

written by: louis

“my hands, your hands tied up like two ships drifting, weightless waves try to break it i’d do anything to save it why is it so hard to save it?”

“my heart, your heart sit tight like bookends pages between us written with no end so many words we're not saying don't wanna wait 'til it's gone you make me strong”

in this first part he talks about an immense and strong love where there are things (rather people) that try to break it, as we can see they refer to this as “the waves that try to break the ship” or “the pages between them”. we can’t only relate this to larry but also to homosexuality in general, homosexual couples have to fight for their love and many times the “things that separate them” are not contracts but the laws of their countries, the religion of their families, etc.

also notice that in the first verse they use the nautical theme (something very significant for larry because of theirs tattoos) and form this moment, the theme will be present in several of their songs.

“i’m sorry if i say, “i need you” but i don't care, i’m not scared of love ‘cause when i’m not with you, i’m weaker is that so wrong? is it so wrong that you make me strong?”

the chorus of this song is the part that makes it more than clear that it’s not a heterosexual song, to begin with it says “i’m not afraid of love” a very important phrase for the lgbt community since it shouldn’t be necessary to clarify that heterosexual couples can’t have “fear to love” as homosexual couples do, heterosexual couples are legal and accepted everywhere while homosexual couples are not. second says “is it so wrong? that you make me strong?” that is a criticism of homophobia, since he is asking why it’s so wrong that HE makes him strong, indirectly he is saying “what is the problem that it’s a man that makes me feel strong and brave?”

the lyrics “i’m not scared of love” and “you make me strong” have a similar meaning to “it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”

HAPPILY

written by: harry

“you don't understand, you don't understand what you do to me when you hold his hand we were meant to be, but a twist of fate made it so we had to walk away”

first, harry and louis clearly weren’t allowed to use male pronouns in their songs so don’t say “ooh but they use female pronouns, this is for a girl!!” because having them doesn’t mean that it is so, they have it because they were obliged to use them.

now, being a song written by harry, it’s obvious that it’s referring to how bad it makes him to see louis have to go out with eleanor “you don’t understand what you do to me when you hold his hand” he wish to be in her place and it hurts him to see someone else “occupy” it. it also says “but a twist of fate that made it so we had to walk away” this doesn’t mean that they broke up or they fought, it’s referring to the fact that they were destined to live free and happy together but “destiny” didn’t allow them, they forced them to hide and to not interact in public. (remember that this song was written in 2012/2013 which were the first years where they were prohibited from interacting).

“i don't care what people say when we're together you know i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep, i just want it to be you and i forever i know you wanna leave, so c'mon, baby, be with me so happily”

as with strong, the first verse already gives us hints of what the song is talking about and the chorus ends it confirming.

in this part, the most important phrase is “i don’t care what people say when we’re together” is a clear reference to a homosexual relationship, it’s literally saying that he doesn’t care what homophobics tell them, he is going to love him and wants to be happy with him forever.

THROUGH THE DARK

written by: louis

“you tell me that you're sad and lost your way, you tell me that your tears are here to stay but i know you're only hiding and i just wanna see ya”

“you tell me that you're hurt, and you're in pain and i can see your head is held in shame i just wanna see you smile again see you smile again”

louis is telling how devastated harry is by the closeting situation, we know that harry was greatly affected by the situation between 2012-2014 because almost all the songs he wrote during that period show that fear of losing louis, of not achieving it, of have to hide forever, etc. basically he was going through a crisis and louis noticed this, he told him to stop worrying, that they were going to make it and that he just wanted to see him smile.

“but don't burn out even if you scream and shout it’ll come back to you and i’ll be here for you”

“oh, i will carry you over fire and water for your love and i will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough when the night is coming down on you we will find a way through the dark”

this part is pretty metaphorical but basically louis tells harry they're going to get out of it. “we will find a way through the dark”, with “dark” refers to all those who impede them to be together, i mean, they will overcome all those obstacles to finally be happy and free together. another important phrase is “i will carry you over fire and water for your love”, he is literally saying, in order to be with you, i will bank anything. (that phrase and its meaning is very similar to “walk through fire for you just let me adore you”)

SOMETHING GREAT

written by: harry

“i want you here with me, like how i pictured it so, i don’t have to keep imagining come on, jump out at me, come on, bring everything is it too much to ask for something great?”

“the script was written and i could not change a thing i want to rip it all to shreds and start again one day, i’ll come into your world and get it right i’ll say we're better off together here tonight”

talks about the frustration of not being able to be free. “the script was written and i could not change a thing” is a clear reference to contracts and how he can’t do anything about it, then he talks about “star again one day” which represents the day they can come out of the closet. the song basically talks about how they long for that "something great" (being free) and how they love each other.

ALIVE

written by: louis

“my mother told me i should go and get some therapy i asked the doctor, “can you find out what is wrong with me? i don't know why i wanna be with every girl i meet i can't control it, yeah, i know it's taking over me”

“i’m going crazy can’t contain it so tell me just what i should do?”

“she said, “hey, it's alright does it make you feel alive? don’t look back, live your life even if it's only for tonight” she said, “hey, it’s alright if it makes you feel alive””

the most characteristic thing about alive is that if you change all the feminine pronouns for masculine ones and the “girl” for “boy” it goes from being a song of a boy addicted to sex to a gay anthem.

the first part talks about how for being homosexual they send him to therapy, they tell him that something is not right with him, that he has a problem, that it’s not normal, etc and when he asks “what is wrong with me?” and they respond “it’s okay if it makes you feel alive”. he talks about that no matter who that person is, if that person makes you feel alive, gives meaning to your life and makes you happy, then there is nothing wrong with you.

“went to a party, just after the doctor talked to me i met a girl, i took her right up to the balcony i whisper something in her ear that i just can’t repeat she said, “okay”, but she was worried what her friends will think”

“we got to live before we get older do what we like, we got nothing to lose shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders ooh, we got nothing to prove”

the part of the party talks about the public eye, how it can affect what your friends/family say to you, it talks about the fear that you have for not knowing how people will react to your sexuality. the second part talks about how life is short and the most important thing is to be happy, no one has to prove anything to anyone, you don’t have to prove what’s your sexuality, or anything. you are free and the only thing that matters is that you do what makes you feel good.

FIREPROOF

written by: louis

“i think i’m gonna lose my mind something deep inside me, i can’t give up i think i’m gonna lose my mind i roll, and i roll ‘til i’m out of luck yeah, i roll, and i roll ‘til i’m out of luck”

“i’m feeling something deep inside hotter than a jet stream burning up i got a feeling deep inside it’s taking, it’s taking all i’ve got yeah, it’s taking, it’s taking all i’ve got”

“‘cause nobody knows you, baby, the way i do and nobody loves you, baby, the way i do it’s been so long, it's been so long, maybe we're fireproof ‘cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do”

the lyrics are super direct, they talk about how “something” (closeting) takes everything they have but there comes a point where it no longer affects them because they are “fireproof” that is, proof of everything. it’s a song that basically talks about the fact that no matter what they do to them, they resist everything. by this time, both (especially harry) had already passed the initial downfall of having to hide, that’s why the songs of this period are more about overcoming things and saying that love is invincible unlike midnight memories.

another interpretation i have is that it talks about accepting your sexuality, the first paragraph talks about how your sexuality was always present even if you don’t accept it, the second talks about the need to open up and tell someone about it and the third of how that person with whom you opened up tells you that nothing can separate them.

the song doesn’t have pronouns.

STEAL MY GIRL

written by: louis

“she’s been my queen since we were 16 we want the same things, we dream the same dreams alright, alright”

“i got it all ‘cause she is the one her mum calls me love, her dad calls me son alright, alright i know, i know, i know for sure”

“everybody wanna steal my girl everybody wanna take her heart away couple billion in the whole wide world find another one 'cause she belongs to me”

“she knows, she knows that i never let her down before she knows, she knows that i’m never gonna let another take her love from me, now”

this song screams larry in every lyric, first he mentions "she’s been my queen since we were 16" and it’s not necessary to clarify who was 16 when he met louis, then he mentions “her mum calls me love and her dad calls me son” which is very obviously because he has an excellent relationship with harry's mother and he had quite a good relationship with harry's stepfather as well. the rest of the song seems very toxic but it’s not, what it refers to is that everyone wanted harry, not only a “couple billion” fans but other models, artists, etc for the image they gave him. the song is basically louis saying “harry is mine and not from any model or fan”

bonus: in “and every jaw drops when she's in those jeans” it refers when harry wore a lot the tight black jeans and most of us loved them.

btw: the pronouns she/her in the song are correct ;)

some people also think its about the fans and the song also fits very well with that story, they always saw us as something super precious that they love and want to protect, they don't want anyone to take us away from them.

in my opinion, these are quite direct songs and without many twists, i mean, by reading the lyrics you already understand the message, but well it’s never wrong to clarify some things

remember: be proud of yourself, if they make you strong, they make you feel alive, they make you wanna live happily, and they make you feel that you are fireproof then they are for each other🖤

—————————————————

canciones larry en midnight memories y en four

masterpost

!!! | no voy a incluir las letras completas de todas las canciones asi que para una mejor compresión busquenlas ustedes. todas las canciones fueron escritas por varias personas pero yo solo voy a mencionar en cuales participó harry y en cuales louis.

STRONG

escrita por: louis

original

“my hands, your hands tied up like two ships drifting, weightless waves try to break it i’d do anything to save it why is it so hard to save it?”

“my heart, your heart sit tight like bookends pages between us written with no end so many words we're not saying don't wanna wait 'til it's gone you make me strong”

traducción

“mis manos, tus manos atadas como dos barcos a la deriva sin peso las olas tratan de rompernos haría lo que sea para salvarnos ¿por qué es tan difícil salvarlo?”

“mi corazón, tu corazón apretados como un sujeta libros páginas entre nosotros escritas sin un final tantas palabras que no estamos diciendo no quiero esperar hasta que se vaya tú me haces fuerte”

en esta primera parte habla de un amor inmenso y fuerte donde hay cosas (mas bien personas) que intentan romperlo, como podemos ver se refieren a esto como “las olas que chocan el barco” o “las páginas entre ellos”. esto no solo podemos relacionarlo con larry sino con la homosexualidad en general, las parejas homosexuales tienen que luchar por su amor y muchas veces las “cosas que los separan” no son contratos sino las leyes de sus paises, la religión de sus familias, etc.

también cabe resaltar que el el primer verso usan el tema náutico (algo muy significativo para larry por sus tatuajes) y que a partir de este momento el tema va a aparecer en varias canciones.

original

“i’m sorry if i say, “i need you” but i don't care, i’m not scared of love ‘cause when i’m not with you, i’m weaker is that so wrong? is it so wrong that you make me strong?”

traducción

“lo siento si digo, “te necesito” pero no me importa, no le temo al amor porque cuando no estoy contigo, soy más débil ¿es tan malo? ¿es eso tan malo? que tú me haces fuerte”

el estribillo de esta canción es la parte que nos deja mas que en claro que no es una canción heterosexual, para empezar dice “no le temo al amor” un frase muy importante para la comunidad lgbt ya que no es necesario aclarar que las perejas heterosexuales no pueden “temerle al amor” como las parejas homosexuales lo hacen, las parejas heterosexuales son legales y aceptadas en todas partes mientras que las homosexuales no. segundo dice “¿eso es tan malo? que tú me haces fuerte” eso es una critica a la homofobia, ya que esta preguntando porque esta tan mal que EL lo haga fuerte, indirectamente esta diciendo “¿cual es el problema que sea un hombre el que me haga sentir fuerte y valiente?”

las frases “i’m not scared of love” y “you make me strong” tienen un parecido en significado a “it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”

HAPPILY

escrita por: harry

original

“you don't understand, you don't understand what you do to me when you hold his hand we were meant to be, but a twist of fate made it so we had to walk away”

traducción

“tú no entiendes, tú no entiendes lo que tú me haces cuando tomas su mano estábamos destinados a ser, pero fue un giro del destino hizo que tuviéramos que alejarnos”

primero harry y louis claramente no tenían permitido usar pronombres masculinos en sus canciones asi que no digan “uy pero uso pronombre femeninos, esto va para una chica!!” porque que los tenga no significa que sea asi, lo tienen porque estaba obligados a hacerlo.

ahora, siendo una canción escrita por harry, es obvio que se esta refiriendo a lo mal que le hace ver a louis tener que salir con eleanor “tú no entiendes lo que tú me haces cuando tomas su mano” el muere por estar en au lugar y le lastima ver que otra persona “lo ocupa”. además dice “pero fue un giro del destino hizo que tuviéramos que alejarnos” esto no se refiere a que terminaron o se pelearon, esta haciendo referencia a que ellos estaban destinado a vivir libres y felices juntos pero “el destino” no se los permitió, los obligo a ocultarse y alejarse en público. (recordemos que esta canción fue escrita en 2012/2013 que fueron los primeros años donde tenían prohibido interactuar).

original

traducción

“no me importa lo que diga la gente cuando estamos juntos tú sabes que yo quiero ser el único que te abrace cuando duermas, sólo quiero que seamos tú y yo para siempre sé que quieres irte, así que vamos, cariño, sé conmigo tan feliz”

al igual que con strong, el primer verso ya nos da indicios que va por un camino pero el estribillo nos lo termina de confirmar.

en esta parte, la frase mas imporante es “no me importa lo que diga la gente cuando estamos juntos” es una clara referencia a una relación homosexual, literal esta diciendo que no le importa lo que los homofobicos les digan, el lo va a amar y quiere ser feliz con el por siempre.

THROUGH THE DARK

escrita por: louis

original

“you tell me that you're sad and lost your way, you tell me that your tears are here to stay but i know you're only hiding and i just wanna see ya”

“you tell me that you're hurt, and you're in pain and i can see your head is held in shame i just wanna see you smile again see you smile again”

traducción

“me dices que estás triste y has perdido tu camino, me dices que tus lágrimas están aquí para quedarse pero yo sé que que solamente te estás escondiendo y yo sólo quiero verte”

“me dices que estás heridx y dolidx. y puedo ver que tu cabeza está rendida en vergüenza. yo sólo quiero verte sonreír otra vez, verte sonreír otra vez”

louis esta contando lo destrozado que esta harry por la situación de closeting, sabemos que a harry le afectó muchísimo la situación entre 2012-2014 porque casi todas las canciones que escribió durante ese período muestran ese miedo a perder a louis, a no lograrlo, a que se tengan que ocultar para siempre, etc. básicamente estaba pasando por un crisis y louis notó esto, el le decía que dejara de angustiarse, que lo iban a lograr y que solo quería verlo sonreír.

original

“but don't burn out even if you scream and shout it’ll come back to you and i’ll be here for you”

“oh, i will carry you over fire and water for your love and i will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough when the night is coming down on you we will find a way through the dark”

traducción

“pero no te quemes incluso si gritas y gritas eso volverá a tí y estaré aquí para ti”

“oh, te llevaré sobre fuego y agua por tu amor y te abrazaré fuerte, espero que tu corazón sea lo suficientemente fuerte cuando la noche esté cayendo sobre ti encontraremos un camino a través de la oscuridad”

esta parte es bastante metafórica pero básicamente louis le dice a harry que van a salir de eso. “encontraremos un camino a traves de la oscuridad”, con “oscuridad” se refiere a todos los que les impuden estar juntos, es decir, van a superar todos esos obstáculos para por fin ser felices y libres juntos. otra frase importante es “te llevaré sobre fuego y agua por tu amor”, literalmente le esta diciendo con tal de estar con vos me banco cualquier cosa. (esa frase y su significado es muy parecida a “walk through fire for you just let me adore you”)

esta canción no tiene prombres, al traducirla al español si o si las palabras tienen que poner género por eso puse “dolidx” y “heridx” porque en ingles es genero neutro.

SOMETHING GREAT

escrita por: harry

original

“i want you here with me, like how i pictured it so, i don’t have to keep imagining come on, jump out at me, come on, bring everything is it too much to ask for something great?”

traducción

“quiero que tú estés conmigo, justo como yo lo imaginé así que, no tengo que seguir imaginándolo vamos, da el salto conmigo, vamos, trae todo ¿es mucho el pedir algo grandioso?”

“el guión fue escrito y yo no puedo cambiar nada quiero arrancar todo en pedazos y empezar de nuevo un día, yo vendré a tu mundo y lo entenderé diré que estamos mejor juntos esta noche”

habla de la frustración de no poder ser libres. “el guion fue escrito y no puedo cambiar nada” es una clara referencia a los contratos y de como no puede hacer nada al respecto, despues habla de “empezar de nuevo un dia” que representa el día en que puedan salir del closet. la canción basicamente habla de como anelan ese “algo grandioso” (ser libres) y de como se aman.

ALIVE

escrita por: louis

original

“i’m going crazy can’t contain it so tell me just what i should do?”

“she said, “hey, it's alright does it make you feel alive? don’t look back, live your life even if it's only for tonight” she said, “hey, it’s alright if it makes you feel alive””

traducción

“mi mamá me dijo que debería ir y conseguir alguna terapia le pregunté al doctor, “¿puede encontrar lo que está mal conmigo?” no sé por qué quiero estar con cada chica que conozco no puedo controlarlo, sí, yo sé que se está apoderando de mí”

“me estoy volviendo loco no lo puede contener así que dime, ¿Qué debería hacer?”

“ella dijo: “oye, está bien ¿te hace sentir vivo? no mires atrás, vive tu vida aunque sea sólo por esta noche” ella dijo: “oye, está bien si te hace sentir vivo””

lo mas característico de alive es que si cambias todos los prnombres femenino por masculinos y los “girl” (chica) por “boy” (chico) pasa de ser una canción de una chico adicto al sexo a un himno gay.

la primer parte habla de como por ser homosexual lo mandan a terapia, le dicen que algo no esta bien con el, que tiene un problema, que no es normal, etc y cuando pregunta “que hay de mal en mi?” y le responden “esta bien si te hace sentir vivo” habla de que no importa quien sea esa persona, si esa persona te hace sentir vivo, da sentido en tu vida y te hace feliz, entonces no hay nada malo con vos.

original

“we got to live before we get older do what we like, we got nothing to lose shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders ooh, we got nothing to prove”

traducción

“fui a una fiesta, justo después de que el médico habló conmigo conocí a una chica, la llevé al balcón le susurré algo en su oído que no puedo repetir ella dijo, “okey”, pero ella estaba preocupada por lo que sus amigos pensarán”

“tenemos que vivir antes de envejecer hacer lo que nos gusta, no tenemos nada que perder sácate el peso del mundo de tus hombros ooh, no tenemos nada que probar”

la parte de la fiesta habla sobre el ojo público, como puede afectar lo que te digan tus amigxs/familia en vos, habla del miedo que se tiene por no saber como la gente va a reaccionar frente a tu sexualidad. la segunda parte habla de que la vida es corta y lo mas importante es ser feliz, nadie tiene que probarle nada a nadie, no tenes que probar cual es tu sexualidad, ni nada. sos libre y lo único que importa es que hagas lo que te hace bien.

FIREPROOF

escrita por: louis

original

“i’m feeling something deep inside hotter than a jet stream burning up i got a feeling deep inside it’s taking, it’s taking all i’ve got yeah, it’s taking, it’s taking all i’ve got”

traducción

“creo que voy a perder la razon algo profundo dentro de mí, yo no puedo rendirme creo que voy a perder la razon ruedo y ruedo hasta quedarme sin suerte sí, ruedo y ruedo hasta quedarme sin suerte”

“estoy sintiendo algo muy dentro más caliente que una corriente de un jet hirviendo tengo un sentimiento profundo dentro está tomando, está tomando todo lo que yo tengo sí, está tomando, está tomando todo lo que yo tengo”

“porque cariño nadie te conoce de la manera en la que yo lo hago y nadie te ama, cariño, de la manera en la que yo lo hago ha pasado tanto, ha pasado tanto, quizá somos a prueba de fuego porque nadie me salva, cariño, de la manera en la que tú lo haces”

la letra es super directa, habla de como “algo” (closeting) toma todo lo que tienen pero llega un punto en que ya no les afecta porque son “a prueba de fuego” es decir, a prueba de todo. es una canción que habla básicamente de que no importa que les hagan, ellos resisten a todo. para este entonces, a ambos (en especial a harry) ya se les había pasado el golpe inicial de tener que ocultarse, por eso las canciones de este periodo son mas de superar cosas y decir que el amor es invencible a diferencia de midnight memories.

otra interpretación que tengo es que habla de aceptar tu sexualidad, el primer parrafo habla de como tu sexualidad siempre estuvo presente aunque no la aceptes, el segundo habla la necesidad de abrirte y contarselo a alguien y el tercero de como esa persona con la que te abriste te dice que nada los puede separar.

la cancion no tiene pronombres.

STEAL MY GIRL

escrita por: louis

original

“she’s been my queen since we were 16 we want the same things, we dream the same dreams alright, alright”

“i got it all ‘cause she is the one her mum calls me love, her dad calls me son alright, alright i know, i know, i know for sure”

“everybody wanna steal my girl everybody wanna take her heart away couple billion in the whole wide world find another one 'cause she belongs to me”

“she knows, she knows that i never let her down before she knows, she knows that i’m never gonna let another take her love from me, now”

traducción

“ella ha sido mi reina desde que teníamos dieciséis queremos las mismas cosas, soñamos los mismos sueños así es, así es”

“lo tengo todo porque ella es la indicada su madre me llama “cariño”, su padre me llama “hijo” así es, así es, lo sé, lo sé, lo sé por supuesto”

“todos quieren robarme a mi chica todos quieren llevarse su corazón lejos un par de billones en todo el mundo encuentra otra porque ella me pertenece”

“ella sabe que, ella sabe que, que yo nunca antes la decepcioné ella sabe que, ella sabe que, que nunca dejaré que otro aleje su amor de mí, ahora”

esta canción grita larry por todas partes, primero menciona “ella es mi reina desde los 16” y no es necesario aclarar quien tenía 16 cuando conoció a louis, después menciona lo de “su madre me dice cariño y su padre hijo” que es muy obvio porque el tiene un excelente relacion con la mama de harry y tenía bastante buena con el padrastro de harry también. después, el resto de la canción parece re toxica pero no es asi, a lo que hace referencia es que todo el mundo deseaba a harry, no solo “un par de billones” de fans sino otras modelos, artistas, etc. por la imagen que le daban. la canción es básicamente louis diciendo “harry es mio y no de ninguna modelo ni fan”

bonus: en “and every jaw drops when she's in those jeans” (y cada mandíbula cae cuando usa esos jeans) hace referencia a cuando harry vivía en jeans negros ajustados y la mayoría los amaba.

btw: los pronombres she/her en la cancion estan bien ;)

algunas personas también piensan que trata de lxs fans y la canción también pega muy bien con esa historia, ellos siempre nos vieron a nosotrxs como algo super preciado que aman y quieren proteger, no quieren que nadie nos aleje de ellos.

en mi opinion, estas son canciones bastante directas y sin muchas vueltas, o sea, con leer la letras ya entendes el mensaje pero bueno nunca esta de mal aclarar algunas cosas

recuerden: esten orgullosos de ustedes mismos, si lxs hace fuertes, lxs hace sentir vivos, lxs hace sentir felices y lxs hace sentir que son aprueba de todo, entonces son el uno para el otro🖤

#songs #midnight memories #alive #something great #fireproof #steal my girl #through the dark #happily #strong #four album

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