#it’s just difficult

[deityofhearts]

I do apologize for like, the frequent rsd and like self doubt, I don’t mean to like ignore that there are people who do care about me and wants me in their lives and I’m very grateful to those of you who have me in their lives and like do reassure me that y’all care about me it means a lot 💖💖💖

#deity dialogue #I am hashtag crying inconsolably lmao #idk #it’s just hard it gets better and it gets worse #I love my friends too death and I know they love me too but even with all the proof in the world it’s hard to believe that anyone actually #loves and cares about me ya know? #I’m aware that I am loved and wanted by people but at the same time I just think back to all the failed relationships and like stuff that #has happened in the past and keep letting that overshadow everything else and I need to learn not to #it’s just difficult #but I love y’all all and I’m very grateful to all the friends I’ve made I adore you all so much! #I will keep trying to do better and be a better friend to you all 💖💖💖

[strickenspirit]

I’m going to be deleting social media apps off my phone for a few weeks.

I think I’ve become burned out or overwhelmed? but my self-harming behaviours have become noticeable again. In need of time. If anyone wants me please message for my discord. Stay safe and see you all soon x

#words #I haven’t felt right for months but I didn’t realise #Since I got my autism diagnosis and not at all supported with that #It’s just difficult #you know

[rivetgoth]

It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.

#also has made it increasingly difficult to relate to those early into their transition honestly #like not in a bitter way it’s just like hard to express how diff the experience is #of being like a year on T vs 5 😭 #ETA I muted this post ages ago now but fwiw seeing transphobes pop up in the notes on occasion just to say cruel reactionary shit #you are clowns I cannot imagine seeing a post that is ONLY about discussing with folks about the reality of a medication #and choosing to make that your moment to get a schoolyard bully jab in about how you find it gross or something. #you are less well adjusted than must children. may the universe be kinder to you than you are to others.

[junglejim4322]

Me at the beginning of this year: I’m so gonna fix my life dude this is gonna be the year everything changes I’m not gonna let anything slip through the cracks it’s time to live

Me approaching the end of March:

#still gonna fix it apparently it’s just going to be more difficult than I thought okay. keep believing in me

[max1461]

Disgust has absolutely no ethical weight. If you are basing your ethical positions on the emotion of disgust you should stop, it is entirely unjustified and leads to a huge amount of harm.

#I've spent a lot of time thinking about the various difficult technical ways in which the world is bad but at some point #you also have to tell people “just stop doing bad stuff on purpose” #because they in fact do this

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies” #serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited... #i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest. #it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!' #'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members... #..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)' #anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language? #maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value” #and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs) #happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills) #and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on... #...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works? #beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

#fascinating stuff. let’s see if i (person with the worst executive dysfunction when it comes to doing laundry) remember it #i literally have this issue where i’ll let dirty clothes pile up in the laundry basket for an entire month #like it takes me that long to get around to it #and then- who would’ve thought- i find that i don’t have anything good to wear. strange! #finally did it last night and i’m like ohhh that was so difficult but the payoff finally #augh #peach rambles #hall of fame i guess #shut up about socks. idc. #this was a fun positivity post of sorts it’s about overcoming executive dysfunction #derailing into jokes about losing socks is. it’s not horrible but just boring and annoying #it was supposed to be celebration!! and encouragement!!!

[pangur-and-grim]

remembering that weight lifting class where the coach said "lower yourself to the ground, there is no wrong way to do this" and so I rag-dolled and let my body drop, and then he paused and said "that is the only wrong way to do this."

#I wasn't trying to be difficult. it was just the quickest way to the ground

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

#simon says #i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system #once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable #this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it #because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole #but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole #don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it #also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn #like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that #also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke #my only learning resource is the library sorry about that #also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice #finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say

[captainjonnitkessler]

Do you guys notice how when Shawn Fain, president of the United Auto Workers union, started planning a general strike, he did it by a) targeting his messaging towards unions with the ability to safely and effectively strike in large numbers, b) laid out a clear, actionable plan for those unions to follow (setting contracts to all expire at the same time, since many unions cannot strike while under contract), c) is using union contracts to set clear, actionable demands that can be met in order to gauge success and provide an end goal, and d) started organizing FOUR YEARS before the proposed strike date to give people the chance to plan accordingly, because it takes a really freaking long time to get tens of millions of people organized?

You notice how he didn't do it by slapping a message on Twitter saying 'hey nobody go to work on Monday, that'll really show 'em'?

#those 'monday is a general strike stay home if you can!!!' posts are SO performative and they really annoy me #like. you MUST know you can't organize a general strike of tens of millions of people by sharing an infographic on twitter. Right? #don't even get me started on the most recent one that was like 'we understand the last strike only gave one day of notice' #'so this time we're giving you two! strike is on tuesday everyone don't forget!' #like GENUINELY was that supposed to be a joke #the linked article also touches on how difficult actual organizing a workplace is which is nice #because they mention previous failed attempts in which organizers basically just handed out leaflets #and assumed the benefits would be obvious. which i think is basically the equivalent of posting an infographic on twitter #which is to say - not effective at all. Organizing is a LOT of work! Running an effective union even more so! #labor rights

[jessiesjaded]

Losing my mind at seeing Twitter Discourse where a girl talks about being a waitress and how sometimes people don't acknowledge her or reply to her at all when she speaks to them and how it feels dehumanising and all the people in the replies are like UM. SOME OF US HAVE /SOCIAL ANXIETY/ You're literally an evil person for wishing people would treat you with bare minimum decency :/ like idk how to tell you this but if a waitress asks how your evening is while she's taking you to your seat in a restaurant and you're gonna pretend saying "Fine, thank you" is a horrific arduous task like. Maybe you're just a massive cunt? Maybe you're just an insufferable fuckwit?

#i loveeeeee when people use social anxiety as an excuse to be rude like lmao #i get anxious sometimes and i can be awkward as fuck #but a two word 'Good. Thanks.' really is not that fucking difficult good god #especially since she stated theres been times when multiple customers will totally ignore any greeting and bark orders at her like. #youre just rude bro thats all that is

[blondie-drawings]

KISS! THAT! ANDROID!

#I wanted to practice kissing poses lmao #idk man if you had an android knockin about wouldnt you kiss him? like just for fun even?? #i also wanted to try and convey their personalities thru.... different.... kind of kisses #picard was difficult and then i remembered he's french hahahaha #anyhoo #star trek #star trek the next generation #tng #next gen #data soong #jean luc picard #will riker #william riker #beverly crusher #deanna troi #geordi laforge #geordi la forge #daforge #worf #worf son of mogh #brent spiner #I'm not taggin the rest of the actors sorry lmao

[driftingballoons]

Bad and naughty electric ghosts don’t get to use the mower

#Rotom #snivy #pokemon doodles #original art #rotom is great #I love them #but can imagine it could be a particularly difficult pokemon to have #And possibly quite expensive #Just thinking of how it probably fries the electronics of whatever it goes into #Ough

[time-woods]

EMOTIONAL WIN ! ! the bug lets his emotions make decisions for once !

#when ur bug has rsd #mf needs affirmations after everything man #ppl expect a mystery fantasy drama but its gonna end up being a story abt learning how to experience being yourself #a whole story just about experiencing emotions and how amazing and beautiful that can be #( with a side serving of heavily autistic experiences) #get praaaaankeed #i really dont get kissing but here it sorta made sense i think #kissing with mandibles must be a bit difficult #shoutout to unhinged jaw #chasing stars au #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time au #Sīdus the Fallen star #prismo the wishmaster #the carmine cavalier #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #this technically has a part 1 but i didnt line it or anything- i may add it onto this later if i feel like it #Sīdus is the one to usually instigate stuff but he makes sure Carma is the one to go further #kinda just letting him know that hes there for him but no matter what he gets to choose what hes comfortable with- #when hes in such an unfamiliar situation

[egophiliac]

giving the people what they want (jokes about spreadsheets)

anyway, Twst continues to prove that it is aimed at me specifically by giving us not one, but now TWO extended scenes of characters being incredibly difficult about signing an NDA. you just don't get this anywhere else.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #tapis rouge #gif warning #gifs that tempted the gods and lost warning #azul specifically is making everyone's lives difficult by insisting on actually reading things before he signs him #like some kind of nerd who actually cares about his rights or whatever #no but i love that for him #(i have only a few more postcards left to unlock him...sigh...) #anyway vil just went full scarlett o'hara over here and made it WORK #i am sad we didn't get to see the infinity tiara though #in my mind it's three feet tall and looks like a bejeweled crown rack of lamb #this is why some things are better left to the imagination i guess

[sancticide]

see writing is funny because sometimes you have to google things like “can the human body survive with every rib broken” and other times you have to google things like “is there an ikea in manhattan???”

#writing #daredevil #matt murdock #writers block is killing me #writblr #please end my misery this chapter of gay people in ikea is not chaptering the way it should #WHY IS WRITING GAYS IN IKEA SO GODDAMN DIFFICULT #WHY CANT I JUST HAVE MY MATTFOGGY IN A FURNITURE STORE MOMENT