#it's a mixed bag of emotions.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

on my quest to find more books to read this year, there's been something kind of heartwarming to see that of the books on hold at my local library, or on the weekly bestseller's list at my local bookstores, there's always at least one book up there that's about Palestine. It's at least nice to see that some people in my area want to learn about the historical context of what's happening now, and learn far more than what a few posts on their feed can tell them. It makes me hope that public perception will continue to change for the better - and that the kind of support I've seen in my area won't die down immediately after a ceasefire is called

#storyrambles #palestine #i'm always hesitant to make any posts about palestine given my lack of personal connection or deep knowledge beyond the #continuous reading i've been doing #but idk. i wondered if this might be nice to see for people who do have a connection and feel discouraged. #and well. i don't think there needs to be a personal connection for one to feel happiness in this sort of situation #it needs to be so much better than it is currently. but i'll be honest #i really thought these protests were going to peter out very quickly after they started. that people would say 'it's a shame' #but not act. i've seen the same thing from previous outrage. #and i think that's because outrage doesn't carry as long or as strong as knowledge does. #eh i'm rambling again. i guess it's just nice to see people caring. even when the people who should speak for us civilians do not. #it's a mixed bag of emotions. #all my love to everyone affected by this. i wish you didn't have to be as strong as you are. #but for as long as you have to. i'd like to stand strong with you. and i hope that's enough to see real change. #ceasefire now

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . she felt them inhabiting some simulacrum of coupledom that was both torturous and enticing.

Curtis Sittenfeld, from Eligible

#situationship #relationship #it's complicated #mixed emotions #mixed bag #how i felt about him #lack of commitment #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #curtis sittenfeld #eligible

[rosietrace]

Jameson Hawthorne girlies, don't attack me, but his chapters in TBH just weren't all that interesting to me 😭

It's probably because I'm more interested in Grayson?? But idk, the whole Devil's Mercy Vantage plotline just didn't hit as well as I wished it did. I mean I liked the plotline and the concept, and the ideas surrounding the Devil's Mercy and all, but,,,, Idk 😶

To me, Jameson didn't really feel like Jameson??? It doesn't make sense, I know, but it just didn't feel like the Jameson from the original trilogy 💀

I'm sure the chapters will grow on me once I reread TBH more often (which I will), but they just didn't land as hard as Grayson's did for me.

#the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #the brothers hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #jameson girlies pls don't attack me 😭 #like i didn't LIKE it but i also didn't HATE it. it's a mixed bag of emotions 💀

[smalltimidbean]

One of those weeks with too many thoughts of things to do, but none of them happen

Well, at least not to the degree you want them to be happening

#oc: bean #sona tag #vent tag #only sort of a vent but still #some of these thoughts do stem from a not so pleasant place like the need to draw something violent and feeling like I am obliged to finish #things like Chickpea's comic thing or continue with Pep's blog - which I will - but I gotta be in the right mindset for those #but other things like wanting to animate is just bc I watched a bunch of animations and I felt inspired #so kinda a mixed bag of emotions for this one #now I will probably proceed to do nothing bc I am waiting for something and I cannot focus when I know something is going to happen

[trans-ruffboi]

you've heard of MotA damsel kink Anders. now get ready for Gamlen's Greatest Treasure damsel kink Anders

#the text says 'bad romance' but the line read says it fondly #Anders is the 1 abduction-and-rescue kink haver in Thedas and we love him for this #man wants to be damseled *so* bad #or more accurately wants a sexy rescue from being damseled. which makes sense given his whole deal #this is the same scene where Fenris is gagging over fish btw #real mixed bag of emotions in this group #Varric is impressed by the intrigue #Anders is thinking about trashy romance novels #and Fenris is about to throw up #da2 #veronica hawke #anders

[ailani-reillata]

Good evening chat, how was your day-

#Mine started off great and just kinda went into slightly bad #But! It’s okay. Sometimes we have mixed bag days and sometimes we have big emotions and that’s alright too #Thank you guys for hanging out with me this morning!

[richardxoliverxmayhew]

( a drabble for The Darling @vxctorx cause I've been thinking about Their reunion )

Cherried lips sundered as a hushed and breathless gulp escaped his throat. Had his eyes deceived him? Had the specters of his past finally come to haunt his waking hours.--No. This was real. He was real. Richard Mayhew had dreamed of this moment for years. Conjured up renditions of what he would say if he and his love of golden-years-past were ever to cross paths again. Would he tell Vic of all of the hurt he had bore since that fateful day at the train station?

'How dare he. I'll ne'er forgive him.' Richard thought to himself, tears stinging in his reddened eyes. The first night alone in his flat... What was to be Their flat... pricked the most. How naive, the Scotsman thought to himself. How naive it was to think that he and Vic would spend their first night exhausted, but discreetly reveling in the twilight of their new life, their freedom, entwined against the other's figure upon a newly baptized mattress that was all Theirs and Theirs alone. Instead, Richard found himself sitting against a wall, downing booze, in a desperate attempt to drown not just his sorrows, but whatever trace of foolish hope he may have harboured for Them. Their life. Their unwound future. Richard took another clumsy swig of his bottle, before scrubbing away another loose tear with the side of his knuckle. 'I hate him. I hate Victor Trevor.' Naive. Dumb. Foolish, boy.

Or, would Richard tell him about the quiet moments in-between the eventual, watered down hurt and the mundane. The silent longing so great he sometimes felt he couldn't breathe.

'I'll ne'er forget him. I ne'er could...' The ache burrowed deep into the cavern of his chest. He could feel it in his bones. A year had passed since that fateful day, but the Scotsman found himself thinking of Him now and again. That contemplation led to remembering. Remembering led to missing. It was in the cozy silence of his daily routine that the yearning was most ardent. It was when Richard took an insomnia-induced stroll, just at the crack of dawn, while the world slept on, that he caught sight of the first flares of light. The sun's golden tendrils reminding him of the aureate ruffle of His boyish curls. How he liked to teasingly tousle them in an act of fondness. It was when he would find himself idly toying with the ring Vic had given him for his birthday, which he had never taken off. Not once. In fact, whenever he was alone, the Scotsman occasionally found the gentle touch of his lips linger against the band's curve. Did Vic still wear the other half? Did his lips too press discreet caresses upon its golden bend? Or had he forgotten? Was the ring nothing more than a trifle, buried with the rest of Their memories?-- It was in these moments that grief's ghost lingered. Not the grief of day's past. Richard looked at those with a bittersweet fondness. No. It was the grief of what could have been. What they could have made. Richard missed Him and all that he was. All that They were.

"It's you...." he rasped, his voice fragile glass. Taking a bold step forward, Richard tilted his chin up at the other, as if about to expel some well-versed speech. A speech of heart. Of the longing. Of the loneliness. Instead, his weary arms could bare the weight of such a deepened severance no longer. What bitter resolve the Scotsman may have been harbouring after all these years finally melted away, revealing both his trembling ache of yearning and boyish adoration for the golden gentleman before him. Without another word, Richard wrapped his arms round Vic's mature figure, holding him close. The tips of his fingers crumpled against the back of the gentleman's shirt as a quiet tear or two rolled down his cheek. Richard Mayhew had dreamed of this moment for five years.--'Vic, I'm sorry.' 'I've ne'er been happier to see ye'.' 'I missed ye'. So, much.' Not a word was uttered. In fact, he didn't have to say a word. All he could do was hold Vic close. A silent promise to never let him go. Not now. Not ever. He never could.

#//im so sorry for this random short drabble my love// #//but idk why i just wanted to write a drabble about their reunion and all of the complicated mixed bag of emotions// #//richard felt during such a time// #//i really hope u like it my darling! 🥰// #vxctorx #period;uni days;v #HE'S HALF OF MY SOUL AS THE POETS SAY; #//also i know that you and i made a thread about their reunion but i just wanted to shed a bit more light// #//on richard's emotional state during such a time 🥺// #drabble;

[free-n-wild]

oh sweet sweet Green Lament AU, good to see it back uwu

gotta ask, how did Martin react after the first night with his brother back? Waking up and finding out that, for the first time in who knows how long, the other bed is not empty :3c

Ooo, the first morning's pretty emotional for him I'd imagine! 👀

It takes them a while to get settled in, first of all, since 'Chris' doesn't need to sleep, so the night before he's just—

"I don't need the bed, Martin, I'm not—"

"You're not staying up, that's what haha!! Just lay down and close your eyes, Chris, you'll be asleep in no time :)))"

So 'Chris' does, if only because Martin commanded him to, so he literally just lies there with his eyes closed all night until he hears Martin begin to stir.

And oh man, when Martin wakes up that morning... In typical angst fashion he either thought everything was a dream or he'd forgotten what he'd done the previous night, so when he sets eyes on the other bed only to see his little brother actually looking back at him, there's a moment where Martin freezes bc he has to process everything before he's suddenly lurching up to pull Chris into a hug because "you're actually here..." :')

So in other words, delusional man's gonna delusion <3

#the others are probably uncomfortable with having zach's tech so close to them all night meanwhile martin has the best sleep he's had #in a long time because his little bro's finally where he's supposed to be :3c #but yeah that morning's a bag of mixed emotions for them all that's for sure <3 thanks for the ask btw kazzy ily!! #wild kratts #martin kratt #chris kratt #green lament au #my stuff #asks

[optiwashere]

I don't know what I was on when I wrote some of these fics for Kinktober. I went from "3,000 words at max" to just doing whatever I wanted. American portion sizes and all that, I guess.

Anyways, here's some role reversal for my lovely ladies.

Written for Kinktober Day 24: Toys (Strap-ons)

Rating: E for Eh, she's got the Spirit if not the Stamina

Category: F/F

Ship: Shadowheart/Trans Fem Tav

Tags and Summary under the break.

Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Trans Female Character, Half-Orc Tav, Role Reversal, Strap-Ons, Pegging, Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Face-Sitting

Summary:

When Asheera has too much on her mind, too much on her shoulders, it inspires Shadowheart to help her let go for a night.

#bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #shadowheart #shadowheart x tav #asheera x shadowheart #oc: asheera #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #anotheropti's kinktober 2023 #my fic #Shadowheart after a few years of lazy cottage living needs the practice to keep up that stamina #I know a couple folks were looking forward to this one and I hope it turned out like you wanted! #the term “pegging” is a mixed bag w/r/t trans women but for Asheera it's pegging #and Shadowheart definitely pegs Asheera often enough for it to be a Thing #anyways the word “peg” as a verb has lost meaning to me now #I'm endlessly curious about how people find my POV choices for these fics - I pick Shadowheart a lot and IDK how others feel about that? #bc I don't self-insert and just envision the moment/scene and pick based on whichever emotion/experience would be more interesting #p.s. I just looked and the Kinktober series wordcount will wind up at around 87k; why am I like this?

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

Y’all ever just wanna have fun and not worry about anything but then your brain keeps yelling “be sad! Be sad right now! No fun only sad!

#I’m probably gonna delete this later lol #I am a mixed bag of emotions tonight #and I didn’t even drink #so sad hours are also sober sad hours #anyways you saw nothing #sad girl hours are here #sorry y’all #gonna have to deal with my emotions for the night

[drugsforaddicts]

I'm so so so happy we finally got some tasty bojere content but oh it's agonizing that they didn't do it finland. 😭 but I get why. if they did it now, then they truly would be expected to do it every time they're in finland. and that's not fair to JO who are an AMAZING live band and everyone should come to their gigs just for them, not expecting jere. (but still hoping we finns get another finnish jo+käärijä experience some time in the future. also bc so far they have always been slightly more unhinged than today's performance lol)

They probably were supposed to do it in Finland, but for reasons XYZ, they just decided not to. I’m not going to sit here and lie that I wouldn’t have LOVED to see them together on a stage again, but I’m also happy it was just a Joker Out concert because that’s what I signed up for, and they really don’t need Jere there. They truly are an amazing live band, and I’m so excited and happy for them that they secured the Ruisrock gig!

The only thing I’m bummed about is that they didn’t sell any tour merch in HKI but there were some in Tallinn (luckily I secured myself a t-shirt this time since I missed the last tour shirt). Logical reason is that they didn’t arrive in time but man, we were the first 2 shows 🤡 would’ve been nice to be able to buy a shirt….

But yeah, the crumbs we got today will keep me feeling full for a long time 😌💛 They absolutely were not as unhinged as they were in Tampere but all is good in the bojere nation.

#ask #I’m a mixed bag of emotions tonight and should probably go to sleep

[alectoperdita]

What you can't bury (16002 words) by Alecto Chapters: 2/7 Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kaiba Seto Characters: Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler, Kaiba Seto Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Organized Crime, Internal Conflict, Power Imbalance, Power Dynamics, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Sex as Coping Mechanism, Unhealthy Relationships, Trauma Bonding, Codependency, Explicit Sexual Content, Degradation, Masochism, Impact Play, Asshole Spanking, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Breeding Kink, Sex Toys, Rough Sex, Painful Sex, Mild Painplay, Punishment, Cock & Ball Torture, Mild Breathplay, Come Feeding, Switching, Praise Kink, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot

Series: Part 17 of Lure

Summary:

As discontent swells amongst the Aoryu-kai's ranks, those wishing to seize power for themselves emerge. They threaten everything—Kaiba's leadership position, the tiny sliver of peace Jounouchi's managed to carve out for himself, and whatever tenuous bond exists between the two of them. Will saving Kaiba's hide save Jounouchi too? Or is this finally his chance to escape from under the kumicho's thumb?

🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪

With each new bruise he took home, Kaiba prodded and deepened with steady, greedy fingers. As if he needed to claim providence by overwriting them with his brand of callous strength and cruelty.

Whatever troubles that plagued Kaiba continued unabated. He kept a lid on his simmering temperament, but Jounouchi saw how it threatened to boil over. But every attempt to ask or talk about it was rebuffed, rather harshly as the days passed.

Kaiba only wanted one thing from him. Claimed there was only one thing Jounouchi could provide him.

The nights were getting longer, for Kaiba and for Jounouchi. Dinner at home was often served without the kumicho. The late hour dragged Jounouchi's eyelids low by the time the other boy shoved him into bed, wreathing them both with the stale scent of tobacco and heavy liquor.

Kaiba never smoked. Had forbidden Jounouchi from it. He abhorred the smell that much. Nor was he usually a heavy drinker. That and the furrow between his brows told Jounouchi that these evenings were likely spent in the Big Five's company.

Something else the kumicho loathed.

#series: Lure #puppyshipping #violetshipping #kaijou #yugioh #my fanfiction #chapter specifically includes painful sex; painplay; cock & ball torture; and emotional manipulation #but also maybe involve kissing :o #it's a super mixed bag for poor Jou this chapter

[self-shipfromtheeast]

Hello, hello!

This is my official -I’m back from the holidays- post! Despite interacting to some degree, time still was needed to be taken to get back into the swing of things back home. Especially getting back into the rhythm at work. 😅

Now that things are manageable, I should be more active here, including FINALLY sharing my secret crush!

It feels really good to be back and catching up with everyone and their lovely ships. Missed y’all a lot. ☺️

#Christmas was a mixed bag of emotions and it took a lot out of me #Won’t go into any more detail than that #Just glad to be home and mostly recovered

[greengoddesssmoothie]

My siblings (and my mother) all want to get their free, quarterly trauma dump/therapy session from me. I just wanna talk about Star Trek, man.

#visiting home is a mixed bag #sometimes I feel like a dumpster my family tosses their emotional baggage into #my dad wants to discuss politics but that’s a separate issue #other than that it’s been a chill visit #green speaks #delete later

[nobuverse]

@tiredstudents said: Fate questions 9, 12, 13

Fate Questions! ll Selectively Accepting

9. Favourite servant/servant ship?

Uuuh- Hm. Tough one. Not because I have a lot of choices, but because I'm not that big of a shippy person tbh? I think Ryoma and Oryou have the best chemistry between servants, but I'm still confused as to whether it's supposed to be a romantic ship.

I'm gonna with -! Astolfo and Sieg from Fate/ Apocrypha ! Because no matter how much the show wants to push Sieg and Jeanne, I feel like he just has way better chemistry with Astolfo in the anime at least? They legit feel like partners that bring out the best in each other.

12. Name your notp.

...You know what I've never gotten in any fandom?

Hate shipping.

Maybe I'm just a traditionalist or whatever, but I like to see my ships built on a good relationship dynamic with a huge amount of trust between the two parties.

Nobunaga and Okita.

Just....why. These two could not have more separate ideals. The bickering is fun to watch in FGO, but...that's as far as it goes.

13. Name a part of fate/ that makes you salty.

I'll say it once!! And I'll say it again!!! Jeanne in Fate/Apocrypha makes no!!! Sense !!!

I'm just not sure why they chose that historical figure if they were gonna write a character who's ideals run contradictory to her own religion when she's a freaking saint?!!

"The living should not follow the orders of the dead" she says ( or something akin idr) like woman! You are supposed to be under the ideals of Jesus Christ! WHo is very much dead!

Honestly though the worst crime is how many amazing story bits they had to potentially fix that problem.

Like girl. You fail at every level when you legit make Shirou look like the GOOD GUY. In fact, I'm still not convinced he's the villain because you legit gave us 0 zero to why his plan is a bad thing.

#I wanted to say Siegfr and Brynn for the shipping thing but that feels like cheating #because I love that couple because of Dislyte not fate #Man Fate Apocrypha is like the biggest bag of mixed emotions for me lol #noble phantasm is charging ( ooc ) #A Man's Life is But Fifty Years - it is But a Dream! { Asks } #tiredstudents #negativity cw

[yaminerua]

God I love the hatchetfield shows starkid has done. I just got done watching nerdy prudes must die and I am emotionally compromised on a number of levels but man was it an enjoyable ride;;;

#Again there is still something bittersweet about it bc my ex was the one who introduced me to starkid #and tgwdlm literally came out while I was staying with them for the first time #and we broke up right after watching Black Friday some time after it had come out #so there’s a mixed up bag of emotions there but like #I’m grateful to them for getting me into starkid and showing me all the shows #and the fun we had singing all the songs together #I hope they enjoyed this newest one too