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thatbitchery · 10 months

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BOUNDARIES 101; WHAT ARE THEY, WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM AND HOW TO HAVE THEM

A boundary is the line of discontinuity where the rest of the world stops and you begin, simply put. It's the line that says: past this point, you don't matter, I do. That's that. In this way we can classify a boundary as a definition of who you are/ self.

A boundary is more 'yes' than it is 'no' . We easily express the no ( don't talk to me that way) but at the root of it is the yes desire (talk to me with respect). Boundaries are more about desire than restriction. They're more of expressions of the self than a restriction of the other. Stay with me here, I'll get to that point real soon.

Contrary to popular belief, a boundary is not verbal. It's energetic. This is the one point I want you to walk away with from this entire post. You can miss the rest but this. This. One. Here. You do NOT verbally express a boundary, you energetically draw it. This is the takeaway here babe. This right here.

Let me put it this way: you can not tell someone what they can or can not do. Why? Because this is an infringement of free will and NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING in this planet will cause you to face more resistance and friction than telling a free being what restrictions it must face. You're not being 'strong and powerful' when you tell someone to not speak to you that way you're causing friction and opening the door to a lot more disrespect than there once was.

Take this scenario. That guy at your office that was better off unborn. Every time he opens his mouth you burn with pity for that one poor lady that really spent nine months creating this thing. That Mr Red pill, you know? Youre in a meeting and you say something intelligent that reminds him hes actually dumb so he says something like 'hey sweetheart can you make me a cup of coffee?' With a smirk. The rest of the office laughs, it's just funny you know? Two ways this could go.

1. You tell him it's not funny. "Hey listen Chad that's misogynistic as fuc don't talk to me like that" so Chad raises his hands in mock surrender and goes "whoaaaa I didn't meannanything by it, just a joke. Man, these raging feminists, not everything is misogyny Sarah learn to take a joke, Christ". Now the meeting is ruined for you. You go into an argument that gets shut down in favor of the meeting. Walking out there's two groups of people, on your side and on his side, and now that you've marked a target on your back you know for a fact you'll be the recipient of microaggressions and snide remarks, suddenly work feels so so heavy.

2. You look him straight in the eye and keep talking. You completely ignore that remark and move on. He makes one more move and you ignore him completely, moving on. It's like he doesn't even exist. After the meeting he runs after you to try and act apologetic but you know it's a drama trap, so you stop and turn to him. He's talking but you're staring at his forehead. Then neck. Then shirt. And I mean with absolutely no emotion, no disdain, no approval, just blank staring. He's still talking, you look at his shoes, back to his forehead. He's still going on and you say "work to do" and go back to your desk. That's the last time you speak to him unless you have to, and when you do have to it's three sentence words, straight unwavering eye contact, NEVER forget to stare at that forehead (manipulation 101 beechez) and tilt your head. When your eyes meet glaze your sight like you couldn't be bothered. Before He's done you walk out or move to the next person. You give him no second you dont have to, whatever silly rumors he starts you shrug off, you talk to him with your back up straight and no facial express, like he's nothing (because I mean. He's nothing)

Which one of those two do you think works.

You. Can . Not. Tell a person what they can or cannot do. Back when I thought I had boundaries and I'd tell every Mary and John what they can and can not do to me all I met was "oh my gooooddddd wow you're so conceited if you think I put all that energy into disrespecting you oh my goooood it's not that deep ohmigauuuud girl get over it oh my God so I'm the bad guy now wuh wuh wuh" and walked out of those conversations with more friction and resistance than solutions feeling guilty as hell and even lost some valuable people. You. Just. Can't. You'll shoot yourself in the foot.

So how do we express our boundaries ladies? Energetically. When you decide for yourself no one should come to your house unannounced don't even open the door. My mother does this. She'll be inside just chilling and after you call she'll answer "you should have said you're coming! I wasn't expecting a visitor today so I was busy!" And that's all you get. No apology. No rescheduling. Next time. Call. [Queeeen behavior].

Boundaries have more to do with what you will do than what the other person can and can not do. Once more you can't tell a person what to do, so your boundary is your "if....then" plan. If someone speaks to me in a way I don't like that's the last time I speak to them unless I have to until an apology is delivered and they earn me back. If my bf doesn't call or speak to me all day I'm not speaking to or calling him until there's a bunch of flowers, poetry and restaurant reservation for an apology and an actual apology and it's two strikes and I'm out. If my parents do not respect my choices they don't get to be a part of said choices, the good or bad or in between. If my friends gossip about someone else they lose access to my personal information or life because once a gossip always a gossip. If. . . Then. A boundary without attached consequence is a joke.

If you don't know what boundaries to set there are three ways you can go about it.

1. Visualize the woman you're hoping to become. Who is she. What are her ways. What boundaries do you think she has?

2. Discomfort and pain. Most boundaries are inborn. Since we are born with the 'self' it comes with its own definition/ lines and if there was no socializing process we would still have them but for the sake of fitting in our social groups a lot of us had to give them up (I'm looning at you people pleasers) . If you have lost touch with yours listen to your Discomfort. What's on the other side of that is your desire and the line between is your boundary. Eg; you don't like how that man was looking at you. You have a boundary against sexualization. Okay, the next time someone sexualizes you, what's the consequence they face?

3. Off your head what boundaries do you want. The problem with this method is we express our trauma more than boundaries. I was hurt by someone in this way so this is my boundary. Being that a boundary is an expression of the self to base it on your pain is a betrayal to the self, but until you get back in touch with your self this works. Off head. What do you want.

The reason we have boundaries is to safeguard ourselves , or, our SELF from corrosion, dilution and diffusion. If you're in a constant state of fear, pain, anxiety, fight or flight you need more boundaries, your SELF is in jeopardy and given that life is literally structured about your SELF do I need to explain why it must be protected at all costs? Negative emotion is a good indicator of a boundary crossed. Those things that hurt your soul, those. Keep them OUT of your lines.

You have to train the people around you to respect your boundaries by a shift in your energy that they FEEL and they have to jump through hoops, go above and beyond to get back into your good graces or lose you for life. You must be willing to upset and lose people in safeguard of your best interests, and if the person is irreplaceable even just temporarily eg your boss, you must shift your energy subtly enough that they feel it but softly enough that you have enough time to plan a soft exit without getting fired.

Telling people what to do will bite you later, don't bother. You train people with reward and punishment in the way you regulate your energy, like one trains a dog. Good thing? Neutral and normal. Bad thing? Worship me or die.

Reminder nothing on the face of this planet, in heaven above or hell below or galaxy around is worth betraying your SELF for and keeping up with bullshit is the loudest expression of a lack mindset that says "I'll take what I have because I don't think there is better for me out there", and people can sense this and then you are, in layman's language, royally fucked.

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they-them-that · 3 months

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The Hyuna news is upsetting but also nothing new. There's a pattern of women who are upheld as feminist that turn around and date/marry shady men. It's a complex but systemic issue that I wanted to dissect to propose a productive and feminist way to approach these situations.

1. The Root Cause (Patriarchy)

I get we don't want to give these women any room for excuses when it feels like they've thrown women under the bus but we still have to recognize that although they have unique privileges and are still accountable for their actions, they're also victims of the patriarchy.

We have to recognize that these women are the subjects of a predatory industry and most of them were groomed by it. They're highly isolated and honestly, most of the men they share a career and social circle with are the Junhyung types.

Just like how misogyny and rape culture is still normalized for us common folk, it's fervent in the celebrity sphere where the men have even more power and privileges to abuse. Understanding that, it isn't surprising how shady men have access to these socially isolated women.

2. Placid Feminism

These women live in a bubble and a lot of the feminist action they've seemingly done never extended outside themselves in actuality. I don't deny the possibility they genuinely consider themselves to be feminists because at least for some of them, the issues they've talked about came from personal experience.

The issue comes in on how placid and underdeveloped their feminist values are that they don't think to look for those virtues in romantic partners. It brings into question if they even addressed their partner's past actions and social values or if they just "enjoy each other's company". It becomes even more shallow when these female celebrities revoke their feminist fanbase by doubling down rather than acknowledging the issue. That simply, feminism isn't relevant in the dating scene.

3. Rose Tinted Glasses

How much of a feminist was Hyuna really? Her song Babe was believed to be about the sexualization of minors due to the music video but when you actually read the lyrics, it's really just a love song that romanticizes youth.

Many female artists put out a consumable "girl boss" aesthetic of feminism while their music still revolves around the affection and pleasure of men. A lot of the sexual liberation these women have been praised for actually fails to challenge the status quo and ultimately caters to men and their unrealistic and predatory expectations of beauty and sex. We then have to consider what these women have done for us outside sexy girl-power beats and sadly, it's not much.

We've seen these women being beaten down by misogyny and rise from the ashes and we made it feminist. Their actions felt empowering and radical even when they were just doing it for themselves. We witness their liberation and then seek that these women are activists. The feminist iconography they market at us fulfills our confirmation bias and we hail them as a "girl's girl".

Although I don't blame this on fans when the celebrities literally pink wash their image, it's also important we deepen our own understanding and standards of feminism. We can feel empowered by their work but we shouldn't put these celebrities on a pedestal when they're frankly not doing as much as they actually can be. There are social activists out there who are facing the brunt of the movement, who actually make it their mission to liberate all women and marginalized people. We have to differentiate between an entertainer and an activist. We have to hold celebrities to a standard of basic human decency and activism but we mustn't be impressed by shallow gestures of feminism.

#hyuna #feminism #feminist #kpop

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langernameohnebedeutung · 8 months

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a thing worth noting that with the examples the reblogger gave about "female obsessive characters" is that when it is a female character that's obsessed with boys or men it is almost always played as either a joke or meant to be seen as dangerous and creepy - usually both. All the "boycrazy" female characters in the example are meant to be seen as antagonists and/or comic relief, and we know the classic trope of the "maneater". Meanwhile when a male character is "girlcrazy" and behaves in a similar way as the girl characters more often than not he is meant to be seen as an underdog, an aspiration, a guy who is "maybe overdoing it a little" but who you are meant to root for anyways. Take for example the guy in Love, Actually whose only character trait is wanting to sleep with as many women as possible and whose sole goal in the movie was trying to get to US america bc "it is full of hot babes" and who you are clearly meant to root for when he immediately gets flirted with by not one but three "horny sex manic" women at the same time (all of whom he ends up sleeping with at the same time) as soon as he arrives there. The only times I can think of something like that happening to a "boycrazy" female character and being meant as a positive thing may be romance movies targeted at a female audience already, while male characters like that can be found in almost every movie or show there is

That is a good point - usually, the joke is that the woman is being "hysteric/insane/axe-crazy" like the character I think they mentioned from Fairly Odd Parents but not really someone you should sympathise with like we are expected to with the Big Bang Theory guys. Plus, there is also a lot of attractiveness-based dehumanisation happening there. (In fact, ironically, Barney Stinson even directly says this in an episode, describing women on an acceptable hot to crazy ratio)

Plus, I also think it's important to consider that a lot of the bias against women is expressed in a misogynistic, patriarchal framework, not an egalitarian one. Obviously, our point of view (I hope) would be to look at the action that was committed and evaluate the moral implication of that action, regardless of gender. To say: "This Action is bad and you shouldn't treat anyone like that, no matter what gender you are or they are". But 2000s sitcoms do NOT operate based on that standard of morality (hell no, that's kind of the issue here).

(in fact, a lot of media still doesn't do this, that's why movies constantly have those scenes about women slapping their boyfriends which make me want to rip my own hair out. Which is a good example of why this isn't simply a dynamic of 'women are allowed stuff and men aren't': It's a complex interplay of various aspects of heteronormative culture and patriarchal tradition. Most of these movies are made by men. And these men certainly are not some dedicated feminists, otherwise they wouldn't portray (and treat) women like they do. Hollywood certainly doesn't historically or culturally come from a feminist perspective of "abuse is abuse, regardless of gender" and they are certainly not those evul, conniving misandrist manhaters that the right likes to imagine going: "I think physical abuse is okay when a woman does it, so I will portray her slapping around men" (in fact, the right rarely takes offence to these things UNLESS it is to silence conversations about misogyny in media)

The truth is: A lot of writers who write these tropes simply do not consider it abuse. We talked about why they excuse it in men like Barney Stinson (usually by focusing on the men's side of things and using the female characters as props) but that's not how it works for female characters. In fact, the men getting slapped around ARE characters whose interior workings the movie or show addresses. And we are not supposed to find either more or less sympathetic for this. If these writers came from the perspective "this action is bad, regardless of who does it", why would they make light of their lead characters suffering physical domestic abuse? Why would they still treat the woman like a viable love-interest (and her action as justified when they would never portray it vice-versa?) Even make it a punchline? - The reason is that they come from a place where a) women are by nature ineffective creatures for better or worse and b) that a manly Man-Man(TM) cannot be hurt by a woman through the same action through which he might hurt a woman. Because of Man Strong and Woman Weak. A male character who genuinely reacts to being slapped is portrayed as being whiny and weak.)

And I think if we look at the issue in that context, we realise there is in fact (back to the original point of my post) a lot of predatory (or perceived as predatory) behaviour that female characters are criticised for by the narrative that don't really play a role for a male character - BUT: It's usually not about getting The Sex.

The patriarchal, heteronormative narrative is that a) "men always want sex" and b) sex is a resource that women possess and must be "convinced" to give to men (and the more Manly Points you have, the more easily women will drop that sex-loot for you.) - that, on top of the 'women are ineffective' theme is why there are so few shows genuinely judging male and female characters the same just based on their actions. That is the reason why a lot of the time when a (conventionally attractive! of course!) female character commits what is basically sexual assault against a male character, that man is portrayed as happy about it in the end (especially when it's about scenes where he loses his "virginity") - it's because the patriarchal reading of this situation, fucked up as it is, is "she gave him a gift". (She is only treated as predatory if he finds out that he doesn't consider her attractive later) This is also the reason why a lot of men feel more attacked by something like the Barbie movie than all those classic sitcom tropes of men being slapped by their girlfriends - because for them, one of those upholds their worldview of Man = Strong / Woman = Weak and one challenges it. And the one that challenges that view is not the one where a woman slaps a man).

A lot of the time, when movies and shows conceived in this patriarchal framework actually want to portray women as predatory, they (unsurprisingly) also conceive predatory behaviour (in women) in the same patriarchal framework - or rather, their patriarchal framework informs them of what kind of behaviour is predatory in women - something that is usually informed by real-life misogynistic stereotypes and narratives - like the femme fatale, the succubus, the maneater, the vampire).

#(And that is not to open the entire can of worms of trans women being portrayed as predatory for merely existing.)#cw abuse mention

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bravecows · 2 years

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extraordinary attorney woo ep 12

I LOVED THIS EPISODE

The closest this show has got to making me cry was the scene where the plaintiffs chase after their ex-coworker witness and express sympathy about her husband's surgery and hug her. This series has a profound faith in female solidarity AND I AM HERE FOR IT. (Admittedly the purity of the scene was somewhat diluted when you find out it was partly a tactic to obtain evidence, but you know what, loving your opponents into coming over to your side is a litigation strategy I can respect.)

Also here for every senior female attorney who meets Woo Young-woo offering her a job YES you love to see it. The plaintiff lawyer who cultivates a farm on her roof and recites poetry with her clients is so badass. I loved her almost as much as WYW and Choi Su-yeon clearly love her. There will be poetry and bibimbap in my revolution!!!

I felt such sympathy for Jung Myeong-seok despite how abhorrent this claim was. Like of course he was going off on WYW for questioning the moral logic of his entire career, which is basically his life given he has no work/life balance whatsoever. He's obviously one of those awful partners who are super nice but expect you to be in at all hours because they have no life outside work themselves. Babe you need a holiday, how are you going to keep that nice skin if you're living on burgers?

Speaking of the show's profound faith in female solidarity, Choi Su-yeon begging not to hear about the Yangtze River dolphin but listening anyway! Telling Young-woo not to tidy up the post-it notes but then getting down to help her! I love her so much. Also they are so pretty in their civilian clothes. I am not quite at the stage of shipping them but, you know, I am not opposed.

I really like that the series has gone from "you're rooting for the protagonist so you want her to win her cases and do well at her job" to "let's now question this whole enterprise". I wasn't overly surprised that the judge ruled against the plaintiffs; that all worked, narratively speaking. (I did find it implausible that the court room reeled in shock when WYW was making Hanbada's disgusting arguments about the plaintiff's fertility treatments. Pretty sexist, but not implausibly sexist; I expect plenty of people, men and women, would make that argument even in countries that have fewer/milder issues with misogyny than SK. But maybe you're meant to read the stir in the court as shock at the revelations about the plaintiff, rather than shock that Hanbada has stooped so low?)

What did surprise me was the insurance company Head of HR then getting his little moment of being human, so that the overall message is a bit more, aren't we all victims of the beast capitalism which perceives people of all genders as disposable cogs even as it works hand in hand with patriarchy? It reminds me of ep 10 a little -- I know this was a controversial episode and I am not totally sure what I think of it still (I really liked it, but can see why people hated it). But that twist and twist about of: OK, you see this person's POV, now this person's POV, and that other person's POV. It's a great benefit of the "case of the week" format, that you can go through all these arguments for different positions and perspectives. IDK, maybe I just find it refreshing because I have watched basically no legal dramas with any attention -- maybe it's something legal dramas do all the time.

The frustration of Kwon Min-woo's scheme was very funny. Though I wonder ... my view is that all he'd need to do to exit Young-woo from the firm is report her disclosure of privileged client information to a third party in ep 11 -- absolutely gross misconduct -- but I guess he doesn't know about that. It seems like the series is not really setting him up as a serious threat -- if Young-woo goes to work for the activist plaintiff lawyer, that is a win for both her and Min-woo. But maybe the fact his first ploy was to frame Young-woo for disclosing privileged advice to the opposition is meant to foreshadow that her ep 11 shenanigans will be her downfall??? Now I've said it, though, I don't think so; I don't know what the penalties are for breaking privilege in SK but they'd be pretty serious and I don't think the show wants to go there. It's quite tender of Young-woo.

I liked the romance stuff too, endless hilarity, A++ would LOL at Jun-ho's dismay again. (Also loved the complete trust with which he chased after the taxi on Young-woo's say-so.) But what will really stick with me from this episode is that dreamy sun-drenched image of the women on the roof, surrounded by green growing things, reciting poetry in a lull during the good fight. Surely Heaven looks something like that.

#extraordinary attorney woo

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futuregws · 9 months

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Random rant (?) holivia shippers don't read this lol

Sorry babes, no one needs to apologize for not liking a racist/transphobic/homophobic woman, and for being glad that their fave is no longer with them, she ain't no angel, if she was an actual nice person who has done nothing wrong to deserve to be called out or to have people disliking her I would kinda agree, but with someone like this?? Who hasn't even apologized for what she said, she doesn't deserve an apology from people and specially not from people from the communities she hurt, and this is not me excusing misogyny bc it certainly is a thing and it did happen, and happens every time but hell y'all are not even talking about the actual misogynistic shit you're just talking about the people that don't like her in general which includes people who have every right to not like her, and also I would like to add you don't have to like everyone, nobody likes everybody, so people can dislike her simply bc they just do, if they don't say misogynistic shit and harass her like some do, then it's none of your business.

And y'all are so clearly so far up his ass that you're trying so hard to get "on his good side" and act like you love everything he does when you literally don't, you acting all high and mighty and saying that you supported them since the beginning and that they were so clearly in love and people that say otherwise need to go and "cry into their pillows" and how you were rooting for them, that doesn't make you special hun, and acting like you're everybody's mother and "scolding" them, saying you hope they learn, girl- if you don't stop embarrassing yourself. You have to be so naive to be in a fandom like this and still believe in every single thing you see, and let's not even bring up every other fandom. Ain't nobody gonna feel bad and ain't nobody gonna apologize and if I was still in the fandom when they broke up you can bet your mother fucking ass I would have celebrated. And if this upsets anyone y'all can "cry into your pillows"

Imagine wanting to defend someone like this that badly, she doesn't deserve it, and you are either very ignorant, or somehow you don't know OR you are very privileged

#You try to act like the rightful one and yet you just sound hella annoying and ridiculous #Harry styles #olivia wilde #holivia #Probably deleting this later bc people are gonna be MAD

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kulemii · 2 years

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D9 and F3 for the yakoozy ask 😌

D.9) Any hot takes? (Something that might not win ya any new friends)

Mmm, yeah, I'm not getting any new friends with this one. That's for sure. But you notice that on the question about characters that shouldn't exist, I said 'not to use it as an excuse to be misogynistic'? It's because I've noticed some really cruel and unfair takes made by women and girls in this fandom who take it upon themselves it rip apart the female characters who dare to get to close to their male faves or who dare to stand in the way of their hot mlm ships and that shit is so not okay. It reeeeeks of internalized misogyny and it makes me sick to read half of the time. (Tbh, this is as much of a gripe about general fandom behaviors than just the rgg fandom but still.)

And you can most definitely tell when it's not thoughtful criticism of female characters who were victims of poor writing (and male writer's rooms) that weren't used to their fullest of potentials. They're the ones that echo the sentiment of 'she was so plain' and 'what did he even see in her' or 'their relationship seemed forced' without very much substantial evidence to back it up. Or just plain old ignoring that the canon romance ever happened- and not because they don't care for romance in general but because they don't want that particular romance.

Don't get me wrong. There have been some takes I've seen about how a certain female character and a certain male protagonist seemed forced that absolutely made sense that weren't rooted in misogyny. I didn't agree but I saw the point! And then there are some that it's like, babe ok- we get it, you want him to only look at your self-insert oc and that's but like, say that next time????

I don't know.

And for those of us that don't identify that way don't get a pass here either, it's still not okay! (sorry I'm not phrasing that properly)

How do I come to the conclusion that a lot of this nasty vitriol toward female characters are based in internalized and general misogyny?

So many of us spend hundreds if not thousands of words, explaining why we don't like *insert poorly written female character* and why they shouldn't have been included in the story and then in the very next post will create these very elaborate think pieces about why this abysmally written male characters is (actually very good, and deeper than we realize, guys!) That shit is fucked.

Why do so many of us expect female characters (who are written by cis-men btw) to be spokespersons for women everywhere who must be deep and complex despite being in, what, 12% percent of the storyline? Meanwhile, we accept the most mediocre of male characters that an entire story can be based up and spend months analyzing and dissecting them in an attempt to make them more interesting that they actually are. Where is the courtesy for female characters? Why are we like this?

And don't even get me started on how we crucify female characters for being bad people and then worship the ground that our fave male characters stand on and go 'oh what a wacky little guy'. Nah, bruh, where the fuck is that same energy??????? WHERE?! IS?! IT?!

And before anyone says a peep, I am and have been guilty of this too. But many of us are too old to be acting the way that we did when we were 12 year olds watching anime and seeing our 2d bfs kissing their female loves interests. It's a lil sick, man. Ngl.

Anyway, if it don't apply let it fly.

F.3) Who are you inviting to karaoke?

Oh absolutely Majima. All day, every day. I'm a terrible singer but he would make me feel like the next international pop sensation by comparison. Oof, I can just feel the stomach curling secondhand embarrassment now.

#rgg ask game #oh boy #i can just see my follower count dwindling now #it's okay #i deserve this

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muncedes · 2 years

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when are anons gonna realise we KNOW we’re outta pocket we know we’re jealous like babes it’s mental illness WE KNOW 😭 not like mason is gonna log onto tumblr dot com tho is he so we’re all good to be delusional here??????

and i promise my jealously isn’t rooted in misogyny i’m well aware of my behavior and can recognize my deeply rooted issues that don’t involve hating women :) it’s hating men :)

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chaosandstardust · 2 years

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wdyt about this take?

I mean, I don't disagree with it. I'm choosing not to touch the topic of fiction, reality, censorship, etc with a ten foot pole without an entire video essay to back me up. It's a complicated and nuanced topic that requires way more than a few thousand words written up in an hour.

I do agree about the bullying though. A lot of people who participate in online harrassment and pile ons, even when somebody has made a mistake or done something bad, it's less about actually getting to the root of whatever the behaviour is (which would take a lot of insight and acknowledging that these are systems that impact all of us) and more about just trashing a person because you're "better" and because they want clout. And they'll do anything to do it. Just look at that ridiculous Vaush vs JK Rowling a few weeks ago; him spewing misogyny and then justifying it because she's a terf. That's not how it works, babe.

It's bizarre at best to try and put morals onto shipping and it's extremely childish. At worst, I get extreme hays code vibes from it. Touch some grass, seriously, if you genuinely think fandom is that important.

#fandom culture #fandom critical #fandom #asks

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makeitquietly · 3 years

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Hi there, I would like to know which books are the best or definitive ones to read on the boys. There seem to be plenty of them, and I don't really know which ones are legit or not on facts and what not. Could you give me a list of where to start, please? Thank you.

Hi! To be honest, I don't think there are plenty of books on Laurel and Hardy, especially if you mean biographies, and none of the existing ones, as far as I know, are even recent. And who knows about legit or about facts? I'd just like something that doesn't repeat the same old same old because someone once said so in an interview or whatever without the author bothering to do any thinking of their own or offering explanations for why they believe all that's been said before. I'd also like nuance when Stan and Babe's relationship is described, likewise for the wives/girlfriends. And when there are different versions of events etc., I'd like them all included. While waiting for such a book to be written (somebody let me know if it already exists), I'll just rec these three:

Simon Louvish's "Stan and Ollie: The Roots of Comedy" (mine is a translation) is two decades old and not free of errors, the kind even I can spot, but he's being delightfully nuanced compared to everybody else I've read.

Skretvedt's book is newish (2016) and mostly about the movies. Everything they made together has its own entry and there are lots of useful facts and details about the movies and everybody involved in the making of them, if you're interested in that sort of thing. There's also biographical stuff, especially about events affecting the movie-making. Very good companion if you watch a specific movie and want to know more about it. Mind you, he's quite "old school" mostly, which can be annoying, and I don't like the "childlike innocents" interpretations and general coyness.

Sanders' interpretations use a much bolder approach to the characters and movies and make for a nice antidote for the likes of Skretvedt. The book is from the 90s, when it was fashionable to detect misogyny in everything, so there's too much that in it though.

#Laurel and Hardy #other #books #there's a useful list for more reading in Skretvedt's book #but an excellent biography?#concentrating on the lives of Stan and Babe?#I don't know of any

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jeannereames · 3 years

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What do you think of Roxana? Personally I think she did what she had to survive (if the tables were turned I doubt Stateira would have acted differently), that she lived for so long after Alexander's death suggests that she was probably intelligent and shrewd. I don't know why people 'pit' her against Hephaistion: if I'm not wrong she was under his care for a time in India, and wouldn't have been so if they didn't get on. Is her reputation just another example of the historical double standard?

Roxana, Olympias, and Potential Conflict with Hephaistion

May I just say, Damn, I’d like to have been a fly on the wall when Roxana first met Olympias! Talk about two powerhouses. Can you imagine?

Yes, misogyny is at the root of Roxana’s bad rep, same as for Olympias. Occasionally she’s rehabilitated in fiction—far more than Olympias. And that, I fear, owes to ageism. The Cute Young Girl can be perceived as nice, or at least misunderstood, but Olympias must be the Mean Old Mother.

Anyway, Roxana was a survivor. She did what was necessary. I understand why she had Statiera killed, even if she didn’t know her child would be male, or even live. Had Statiera been allowed to give birth, and the babe was male, it would absolutely trump any son she had. Ergo, Statiera had to die. I’m not sure why she also killed Drypetis, except as a witness. Or maybe both princesses of the blood had been classic Mean Girls to Sogdian Roxana from the hills. She doesn’t seem to have bothered Parysatis, who wasn’t pregnant.

As for pitting Roxana against Hephaistion, I suppose a few may assume it because Roxana killed Drypetis as well as Statiera, but see just above.

The REAL reason I suspect they do it, though, is a mix of anachronistic and overly romantic thinking. To be in contention, they’d have had to be vying for the same place in Alexander’s life/heart/court.

I mean—WHAT the everloving fuck?

Seriously. The whole Alexander-Hephaistion-Roxana-Bagoas love square, or whatever you want to call it, drives me flippin’ BUGGY. It needs to DIE. It’s so distorted, so modern, and so flat ridiculous. I blame the Olive Stone film for that and his crazy Oedipal complex crap too (although he stole some of that from Renault).

Another point: putting Hephaistion into conflict with Roxana and/or Bagoas for Alexander’s romantic attention is really reductive. It makes Hephaistion no more than a love interest. NOT A HIGH-PLACED MARSHAL. It’s not only horribly modern but also heteronormative.

KRATEROS, not Roxana, much less Bagoas, was Hephaistion’s chief rival.

Roxana and Hephaistion were never in conflict. Roxana could never displace Hephaistion. Hephaistion not only wouldn’t have cared if Alexander married her, but he probably favored the wedding (unlike most of the other high officers). He seems to have supported, perhaps even encouraged Alexander in his Persianizing for pragmatic reasons. Marrying the girl would get them all out of Baktria, which had become a nightmare scenario by that point. Philip had made an art of marrying his way to peace. The main objection from most of the men wasn’t to Alexander taking the girl, but honoring her with his first marriage. If he��d already had a couple wives, they might not have cared as much. But she was too foreign (even more than a Thracan).

Alexander also needed an heir. If Roxana wasn’t as highborn as Statiera (and almost certainly Alexander already by then intended to marry Darius’s daughter), she still had a womb and could give him a son in the meantime.

So I see no reason at all for Hephaistion to have objected, or to have disliked the girl, who was probably half his age anyway. Nor would she have had any reason to dislike him, even if he was sleeping with Alexander still. If anything, she’d likely have curried his favor, especially if he had encouraged Alexander to marry her. She needed an ally, preferably more than one. By the time she murdered Drypetis, he was a year dead.

Anyway, truth is, she may not have seen him much. She’d have been in the baggage train most of the time. She might have seen more of Krateros, at least after India, as he took the baggage train inland by the safer route. So if she did dislike Hephaistion, maybe it owed more to being on Team Krateros in that infamous squabble. Ha.

But yeah…no Roxana-Hephaistion spat. No Bagos-Hephaistion spat, either. The fact so many Alexander fans even know who this quite obscure figure (of Bagos) IS owes entirely to Mary Renault, Oliver Stone, and W.W. Tarn’s homophobia. He gets a couple lines in Curtius (and a few other sources), who primarily use him as a dog-whistle for Alexander’s growing Orientalizing debauchery. Curtius is writing about Roman emperors as much as Alexander.

#Roxane #Alexander the Great #Roxana #Sogdiana #Olympias #Statiera #Drypetis #Hephaistion #Hephaestion #Bagoas #ancient Macedonia #ancient Persia #ancient history #Classics #Tagamemnon #asks

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bellamygateoldblog · 4 years

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there's a new ask game going around! what are your fav ships of the decade?!

: I’m picky about ships, I’ll be honest. I do enjoy a great many, but it takes a lot to leave an impression. To have found their way onto this list (of possibly the highest regard) these each have that something special. They’ve made my heart do things, made me pause scenes to compose myself, made me wanna bang my head against a wall, etc.

SO I only have a handful to offer here, but I appreciate you giving me this oppurtunity to fawn over these royal pairings.

Chuck and Blair | Gossip Girl

My most recent devistation, the freshest pick from the list. The scene that marked the very beginnings of their romantic relationship caught me totally by surprise, but most definitely sparked an intriuge deep inside me. Two wrongs make a twisted right.

They’re just so entertaining to me. They’re passionate, sexy and intense, but often have extremely sweet and emotional scenes, domestic-like moments, banter, and they work towards, against, and with the other in an always-twisting partnership.

MMm the way their relationship changes, grows and expands, how it thrives and suffers under different physical conditions but also due to the ever-changing internal emotional climate of each character involved is *chef’s kiss* delicious. Emotionally they’re rarely in the same place at the same time, but when they are there’s a balance and calm. They’re incredibly complicated and yet shockingly simple at the same time. It kept me on my toes. It annoyed me. They’re two characters with deeply-rooted issues and challenges, flaws that need to be dissected, an understanding of themselves and of the world that needs to be reached before they can fully and wholely be brought together as two people rather than two incomplete ideas. I just find there to be so much content to them. They could never be boring. They come back home. To each other, every time. And regardless of however much they still need to work on themselves, they love the other, still, intensely, and sometimes to a harmful degree. And I do also.

There’s so much allure in their chemistry, and they evolve so much throughout the show they’re basically unrecognisable by the end, as people and partners. In this show these characters were ‘falling in love’ with a new person or back in love with an ex every 3-5 working days, but Chuck and Blair, they were a constant. Of course I clinged to it when everything else is so uncertain and fleeting. I find both of these characters to be the most facinating, nuanced characters on the entire show*- throw these two at each other and there’s fireworks in good and not so good very bad ways. I think it’s quite clear why i’d become consumed with such a ship.

*for the sake of my own sanity I choose to ignore the clumsy and irresponsible retcon of Blair’s character somewhere at the end of season four, which was worsened and complicated further in five… i mean GG season five gave me the same ugly feeling as T100 season six. Blair and Bellamy were both major casualities…sometimes denial is your best friend.

Nick and Sabrina | tcaos

These two. The absolute JOY i feel when i think of them…i can’t even explain it. During part one I was indifferent towards the pair- I found them vaguely intriguing mostly because Harvey/Sabrina was a snooze-fest and I found Nick to be a lot spicier and more compelling as a character- but come part two and cue me *falling in love* in the most unexpected ways. Now I’m attached and fully prepared to have my heart broken.

In my experience, the best ships are those that come out of nowhere and sweep you off your feet. Suddenly you’re anticipating more content of them together, and without ever having a hand in it at all you found a new love. This is them. Nick is so gentle with and about Sabrina, completely defying everything it means to be a ‘bad boy’ type in the process, as is she with him.

SO going on a tangent but it’s eventually relevant- to my delight, the writers have avoided falling into The Good Protagonist hole with Sabrina. She’s got flaws. A lot. She fucks up. A lot. She’s special, it’s at the core of her character, but she’s not placed upon a narrative pedestal. Which means she doesn’t come across as being more than him at any point. And, while a lot of writing of f/m couples have remnants of misogyny, whether intentional or not, it’s like…completely absent here. Which means he doesn’t ever come across as more than her, either! He’s written as protective without treating her like a delicate passive in her own life. He’s shown valuing her needs and supporting her ambitions rather than challenging or questioning them. They are equals in every sense of the word and that makes them so easy to root for. He goes to the bottom of the ocean for her- just in the middle of an episode, it’s no biggie, he’s just- “hey babe” when he gets back. And they are both prepared to walk into literal hell for eachother.

There’s such a deep respect between them, emotional vulnerability and expression, there’s communication, there’s supporting and belonging. SHE TAUGHT HIM HOW TO LOVE. They are so well matched and at no point did I feel like there was something missing in them. UGH part three cannot come soon enough- i’m all like: *FRAGILE, please handle with care*.

Eliott and Lucas | Skam France

Evak, and any variation of them, needs no explanation as to why it’s so iconic. It just is. I can’t put a finger on what exactly it is about them I’m so fond of, i’ve never been able to, but they give me heart ache. I think these two might be my favourite version of Isak and Even as characters so, naturally, so is their relationship. I cherish the ships that have a certain intensity to them. And I’m a romantic. I choose Elu.

Will and Mike | Stranger Things

This is the softest ship I’ve ever had. My liking of it developed so subtly that I didn’t even notice it until…well, now. From season three. I’m not as giddy for this one as I am for the others on this list, but they popped into my head when I read the question so that‘s a sign I probably subconsiously wanna include them.

The friendship between Will and Mike is just so pure and sweet, and as much as i adore their dynamic exactly as it is, taking this into romantic territory could actually work and I might be surprised by it, but I also wouldn’t be surprised at all. There’s just something about the way Mike is with Will that I love so much. Mike is the one there to comfort him whenever something goes wrong, Mike is his best friend. Despite them both belonging to a group with two other boys they seem closest. And if the implications of Will’s sexuality do eventually lead to him being canonically gay, i say why not? Why not go there? Let’s add another one to the Finn Wolfhard gay character cinematic universe.

#otp: say it and im yours #otp: you taught me how to love #rosie tag: share with the group #rosie tag: about me #otp: minute by minute #otp: you said yes

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tomakeitbeautifultolive · 5 years

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Hi, first of all I really admire how much effort you put in your posts and answers as well as your insight and eye for details. I really could use your help, all the hate Dany gets lately is so tiring and imho unjust. Now even a friend of mine that always loved her started hating on her and I think she just doesn't understand Dany. Do you have some sort of character analysis on your blog or know where I could find one? Thank you in advance.

Wow, thank you! And anon, I could not agree more. Upsettingly, I’m having the same issue with a friend IRL too, having been told “Dany’s always been a brat”.

Regrettably, I haven’t really done much in the way of Dany metas… I’d say I have better luck picking up steam when I get asks, particularly since it gives me a sense of direction (and the influx of asks is a very new thing). Oh, I did write a little meta on her parallels between ancient Mother Goddess Danu!

While the vitriol for our queen is absolutely uncalled for… I have a theory that the way she is framed is actually intentional.

Jon Snow is probably something of a red herring. At least in the way that it’s presumed this story is really all about him ascending to power and coming into his throne. The prince that was promised. Azor Ahai. Rightful heir. All of it.

(That’s not to say he’s unimportant)

But his female counterpart/mirror, inarguably the most powerful character in the series, isn’t taken very seriously by casual fans, her enemies, the Westerosi, etc (she’s referred to as Daenela by some smallfolk, which oddly sounds a whole lot like the name the antis use to disrespect her character - Danielle).

And despite the fact that she and Jon share such similar story arcs (such as getting swept up into a foreign culture and having to adapt to survive) she is often interpreted as mad or verging on evil, even though Jon has shown the same capacity for ruthlessness. In fact, watch their beheading scenes again - Daenerys is trying to make a statement about law and justice, and Jon? He seems more driven by personal vengeance. But they made Janos look so bad that by the time he was begging for mercy, we were rooting for Jon.

Another difference in how they’re perceived is that Jon gets much more compassion when it comes to his childhood. Unlike Daenerys, he was still surrounded by family and had a stable place to call home. Meanwhile, Daenerys ran from city to city with a verbally and physically abusive older brother, and one of their caretakers, Illyrio, had to vigorously fuck a whore so as not to rape Daenerys, basically. I mean gods, what a brat!

In the books, it’s easier to realize Dany isn’t a villain because you get access to her thoughts and intentions. But the show? All we have is Emilia’s face to try to convey things to the audience. And if they don’t match the words she’s saying, it’s completely lost on them. Now, if you’re someone who ignores her past - then yes, in season 8, it probably looks like she’s power hungry, when in reality - her one security, Jon, is slipping away - so she’s reverting back to the one constant she’s had for years. The quest for the throne.

And excuse my language here, but this bitch is really bringing all of her resources up to the north - for nothing but her love for Jon Snow - and no one cares. She’s about to save them from certain death - hell, not just death - but eternal servitude to this creepy ice demon. And they’re bitching about how much food her armies are going to eat. You know, the ones there to die for their ungrateful asses? Anon, I gotta tell you… it’s really hard for me to even wrap my head around the audience response to Dany - or that somehow, it’s okay for Sam to be upset that his monster of a father was killed, but not Dany.

People who are already predisposed to dislike her can’t see the loneliness and vulnerability there, they can’t see she’s feeling lost, perhaps even regretful. They’re fooled by her queenly mask of indifference. The one that disappears when she is alone:

This is another good example. During the war council scene, Sam blatantly shades Dany by saying this:

“That’s what death is, isn’t it? Forgetting. Being forgotten.”

When the words “being forgotten” are said, Daenerys looks at Jon:

Considering the way Jon is ignoring her, it’s amazing that Dany is still there to fight his war. Just another reason none of them deserve her help. Without Jon she has no reason to be there. While everyone is upset that Dany is going to ‘go mad’ and ‘kill Jon’ - he’s been avoiding even looking at her for who knows how long in GoT time, and yet she stays.

And all the antis can say is that she’s “power hungry”. They so much as hear her say the word ‘throne’ and somehow see madness there, ignoring all subtleties of her emotional state. Yet, if Jon were to do a 180 and declare himself king - everyone would root for him, I’m sure of it. If the throne suddenly became a priority for Jon Snow, people would be popping open wine bottles in celebration. No one would call him entitled. No one would say he’s power hungry. No. I bet he’d ‘deserve it’.

It’s important to remember that not only is Daenerys one of GRRM’s favorite characters, he also identifies with her story:

“I came from greatness - like Dany! And I will take back what is mine with Fire and Blood!”

Further, the man’s a feminist (regardless of how he labels himself, now - more or less afraid to step on anyone’s toes by using the term as a man).

I can’t remember who pointed this out, but it’s hysterical to me, now, because in retrospect, it’s almost like he predicted her antis:

“If even half the stories coming back from Slaver’s Bay are true, this child is a monster. They say that she is bloodthirsty, that those who speak against her are impaled on spikes to die lingering deaths. They say she is a sorceress who feeds her dragons on the flesh of newborn babes, an oathbreaker who mocks the gods, breaks truces, threatens envoys, and turns on those who have served her loyally. They say her lust cannot be sated, that she mates with men, women, eunuchs, even dogs and children, and woe betide the lover who fails to satisfy her. She gives her body to men to take their souls in thrall.”

I think GRRM knew exactly what he was doing. Despite the fact he is a man, he’s lived through much uglier times for women, and he’s been aware of the female struggle for a long time. This is his legacy. A female hero with a storyline more powerful than any man in the series, who finds herself in precarious situations and has to make difficult decisions, sometimes exercising ruthlessness to assert her power and dominance.

She’s complicated, she’s unique, we haven’t quite seen the likes of a fictional woman quite like Daenerys.

She will be analyzed and discussed for decades to come - and there may come a point in the future that Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen might be viewed through the same lens. One in which critiques of Jon’s actions might be as harsh as the ones we see of Dany’s now, or that the ones for Dany become as lenient as the ones of Jon, now.

It might be too optimistic of me to think that even D&D know what they’re doing, here - framing Daenerys in a way that is not as easily interpreted by those who are predisposed to misogyny, all in an effort to expose it. And that upon rewatch, the culmination of her hero’s journey becomes clear as day for anyone willing to set aside their preconceived notions and finally see her for what she is.

A hero. A savior. A legend.

“That character, as a whole, is all about transformation and change. I feel like she is the divine feminine spirit. She’s there to change things rapidly. I have no doubt that a thousand years from this point, people will worship Daenerys Targaryen. That’ll be a holy name. This is the Mhysa. This is the woman that came and brought back dragons to the world and saved all the slaves.”—IdeasOfIceAndFire

For your final request. I wish I were more organized, anon, but here are the top blogs that come to mind when it comes to incredible Daenerys positivity. These bloggers post amazing metas and analyses, shut down antis left and right, and just generally spread the true word about our queen:

@rainhadaenerys @mhysaofdragons @oadara @khaleesirin @secretlyatargaryen @iheartdandelions @tatticstudio55 @winelover1989

I do have a small list of metas I’ve managed to gather on short notice:

Daenerys Targaryen: Master Post

Meta on the contention of Dany’s arc in feminist analysis

Dany III in ADWD again transitions to Jon & Tyrion

Why saying that Daenerys is nothing without her dragons is offensive

Daenerys - Books vs Show - Sexism and Bad Writing in the show

Daenerys Targaryen and “Madness”

A Dance with Dragons, or: Daenerys Targaryen Cares about Feeding her People

Daenerys doesn’t need to be a villain to be interesting

Arya Stark and Daenerys Targaryen Parallels

Daenerys as an anti-Cinderella?

I’m also a big fan of YouTube for GoT/ASOIAF content, and the few pro-Dany YouTubers who really seem to “get it” are GrayArea (this video, in particular, is amazing despite the misleading title), Lucifer Means Lightbringer and IdeasofIceandFire.

#answered #daenerys targaryen #daenerys defense squad

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Lux & Dash

Lux: Hey 😊 Lux: wanna hang out today? Dash: Bummer! There's no way Dash: I promised Sapphire we'd hang Lux: Can't I come with? What are you doing? Dash: she wouldn't be down Dash: you get the picture, yeah? Lux: I don't think I know Sapphire...? Dash: she has a groovy Cleopatra vibe Lux: 🐍🐍🐍 love that Lux: you gonna be Marc or Julius? Dash: Who did she dig more? Lux: You're more of the Antony type Lux: they had their own drinking club called inimitable livers Lux: and they played pranks on people in disguise Dash: Right on! Lux: I hope your love affair doesn't end in such dire circumstances Dash: it'll be outta sight, don't sweat it Dash: she's made loads of her own promises back Lux: She's not the sister of anyone is she? Dash: Onyx but he's cool Lux: Hmm, actually, my point is moot regardless, if she's Cleopatra, it's Octavia's brother you need to worry about Lux: Cleo could 💀 her own Lux: never mind then, you should be fine 😁 Dash: you know how to lay a real trip, huh? Dash: I almost forgot Lux: forgot about Marcus Antonius?! Lux: don't wanna be doomed to repeat it, Dashiel, think on Dash: no doom in my 🔮 babe Lux: 🌈✨ good times Dash: that's more the shit to 🗨 into being Lux: I don't think you can blame the eventual fall of Rome on me being in your inbox when you'd rather I weren't 😄 Dash: No blame, I just gotta do my own thing Lux: do you think any of us can ever be unique Dash: Beats me, that's heavy 💭 Lux: I thought that's what you were getting at Lux: Bummer Lux: I'll ask around Dash: I'm not trying to get into anything with you Dash: later, maybe Lux: You aren't going to have an answer for me later Lux: Don't sweat it, Dash Dash: if you wanna go ahead & cut me some slack I'll have magic for you Dash: just not now Lux: It doesn't matter Lux: I want conversation and someone to hang with, you want neither, that's chill Dash: what you want isn't a bad scene but it's not mine Dash: I can turn you onto someone whose it is, you'll have a blast Lux: that's okay ✌ Lux: I'll make my own friends, continue to Dash: Cool Lux: godspeed 🚀 I will let you know my findings 🗳📋 Dash: you know where to find me to lay whatever you want on me Dash: 🍎🍏🌳 Lux: what do you like most about 🍎🍏🌳 there Dash: 👀 Lux: good answer Lux: the ☀ looks best through 🍃🌳🍂 Dash: & the sky looks 🍒 from that high Lux: 🍒🥧 sounds good Dash: I'm hip to that Lux: does that mean you're going to make one? Lux: I'll get the 🍨 a la mode or nothing baby Dash: you're the girl, why aren't you making it? Lux: ha, I wasn't raised one though, so that kind of nonsense does not work on me 😅 Lux: I like brown sugar and cinnamon on the top please Dash: I'll find a 🐤 who's not wise to it & pass that on Dash: but they won't be fitting an apron how you would ✨ Lux: I don't want deception pie Lux: it will taste all the bitter for it 😖😖😖 yuck yuck yuck Dash: I'll pick the 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑 for it Dash: keep it sweet & honest Lux: make me a basket Lux: that way you get to be sweet and I don't have to participate in any misogyny for baked goods Dash: What's with the goddess demands when you know I've got demands on my time? Lux: you're so busy, right? Dash: 🚀🪐💫 Dash: I can't be weaving you a basket like it's no biggie Lux: well that is not what I meant 😏 Lux: but if you can't handle it then I'm sure I'll manage just fine Dash: weave a 🐤 a basket and she's 💖 for a day, teach her to basket weave... Lux: how very like a man to claim mastery over a skill women for centuries just did because they had to Lux: you had your chance to be 👏 over your pastry making expertise but you declined Dash: how righteous of you to keep the faith on that belief but yo, can you do it? I can Dash: declining everything I can teach you is a bad trip to be on Dash: you said you weren't down to feast on bitter fruit, that's gotta include sour 🍇 baby Lux: It's a very wholesome past life you've painted for me if I somehow acquired that skill Lux: certainly a prettier picture than the truth alas Lux: I haven't declined any invitation Lux: that's you Dash: I haven't either Dash: There's a time & a place for us to reconnect Dash: after Sapphire's Dash: & Lotus' Lux: your schedule isn't going to dictate mine Lux: we'll see when that time is Lux: 🌍🌌💫 willing Dash: come & 👀 me then Dash: it'll be unreal again Lux: you want me to watch you from the nearest 🍎🍏🌳? Dash: or 🌌 til the 7th day of the 7th month if you still vibe with that story Lux: That's an interesting way to inquire about my faith Lux: you'd make an excellent youth pastor Lux: 🤭 Dash: you've heard me play 🎸 Lux: and your cool lingo Lux: yep, it is indeed your calling Lux: we'll start your bible study as soon as the 🌍 is ready Dash: sounds like a drag Dash: how are we gonna make it fun? Lux: 🍪🍪🥛 and fellow youths, duh Dash: if you're gonna teach me it needs to be visual Dash: that's my way Lux: really? Lux: well, I'm going to need all my creativity and crafting skills to recreate Noah's Ark Dash: Moses'll be easy, I'll weave a basket for real Dash: he's the one, yeah? 👶 Lux: that's him Lux: have a whole cast of 👶 to choose from Dash: & animals Lux: I'll just try to avoid being like Sarah and 👊 all the mothers in envy Lux: not a good look Dash: I can get you a baby 🐈 if it'll keep the peace Lux: 😄 it'd be a whole other story if that's what Abraham had done Dash: he coulda taken 5 & let me 🛹⚡️ to my nan's place Lux: a man who marries his sister and needs to populate the 🌍 ain't got no time to chill, Dashiel Dash: the more you tell me, the more he fits into my family 🌳 Lux: 🤨 🧐 Lux: you're holy too? Dash: last time we got together you seemed to 💭👀🗨 so Lux: false prophets hold a certain amount of appeal, of course Dash: what was false? Lux: well, it's not for me to say you weren't speaking the word of God, I suppose Lux: but it's also a big no-no to worship false idols, it's in the big 10, so Lux: very tricky, actually Dash: Do you want me to try & make amends or what's left of the other 9? Lux: How many of do you think you've broken today? Dash: tell me what they are Lux Thou shalt have no other gods before me Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy Honour thy father and thy mother Thou shalt not murder Thou shalt not commit adultery Thou shalt not steal Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour Thou shalt not covet Lux: score out of 10 please Dash: what's a graven image? Lux: that's the idol part Dash: right on, I don't have time to like carve a statue of you & worship it but the intent is there Dash: no adultery or murder either, but the rest Lux: well Lux: consider me appalled not shocked 😳 Dash: what's your score? Lux: 3, I think Dash: you covet the fruit for a pie & Lux: Yes 😘 Lux: and I am not honouring my father or mother and I've put myself before god so Lux: I think those are the only ones, though arguably referring to myself like that is taking it in vain but I wasn't the first one to say it Dash: that's the shit you should ask around about 🗳📋 /10 Lux: maybe I'll do weekly questionnaires Lux: no one else is as mad as you were to be compared to Mark Antony but A LOT of people think we're all ❄️ Dash: beauty enough for ❄ & false idols Lux: Sculpture isn't my forte but I'll do my best Lux: you'll have to stand still long enough for me to 👀 Dash: I don't think I can Dash: we're poetry in motion, I know you felt it Lux: I'm not in the business of denying what I feel Dash: you haven't grown a totally different head since I last 👀 you Lux: now that WOULD be impressive Lux: stuck with this one only Dash: stuck makes it sound like that's a bummer Dash: looking how you do could NEVER be a drag Lux: you've not lost your charm either Dash: every compliment I've given you before, I would give you today Lux: damn timing Dash: Meet me under the 🌙? Lux: I shan't turn into a 🎃 Dash: I won't turn into a 🐀 Lux: then I don't see why not Dash: Then I'll be waiting for you Lux: Patiently? Dash: you already know that's not one of my virtues Lux: 😇 takes a lot of hard work Dash: you're the 👼 Lux: I do like hearing it Dash: I'll write you another song Lux: you keep writing songs for everyone, no wonder you've got no time Dash: school's that much of a hassle, it's that or crash 💤 Lux: what don't you like about it? Dash: I don't like anything about it Dash: nothing radical ever happens Dash: & there's way more commandments than 10 Dash: I could be spending my time here on the farm, helping things run smooth Lux: Hmm Lux: Interesting Dash: I read, I know shit Dash: I can write and do maths Dash: understand people Lux: and you feel like that's all school has to offer you? Dash: I don't see why I have to do x or y number of years more in an institution Dash: there's nothing I can get there that I can't get in the 🌍 Lux: I'll add it to my survey ideas Dash: 🤯💭 Lux: 🐝🧠 or 🎨🧠 Lux: only time will tell Dash: I'm hip to it being about getting out of just being around the same 🐈 & 🐤 Dash: meeting people with different vibes who you probably won't dig Dash: but I've got my bro for that Lux: the footballer Lux: I remember Dash: my dad & his piece too, they're drags in the same way Lux: what do you bond with your dad over? Dash: I don't Lux: is it like school and you're not bothered though Lux: or is it a shame Dash: Do I 🌠 he 👀 me? Used to Dash: not a rush I need to chase now Lux: I get it Dash: He's got the ⚽🏆 son he wants & I've got a family here Lux: it's not a good enough replacement though, is it Lux: no matter how nice people are here, or wherever I end up next and after that Lux: I'm never going to hear the people I grew up with, who loved and raised me, call me by the right name Lux: or daughter, or sister Dash: You're not gonna stay? Lux: this place was made for moving out, right? Lux: it's transient Dash: they can love you, raise you, you don't have to split Lux: I've been raised but Lux: I get what you're saying Lux: when I put roots down again Lux: it needs to be for keeps Dash: this can be for keeps Dash: it is for me Lux: we had some travellers at my daddy's church for a while Lux: 'til they got moved on Lux: places like this Lux: it's never forever Dash: What's forever? Not my parents marriage or my dad's football career Dash: if we have to go we go together, all of us Dash: new buildings maybe but the same family Lux: I'm glad that you have that Dash: you can Dash: you're welcome & wanted Dash: nobody here is related to me by blood but we're still connected Lux: I know, everyone has been very welcoming Lux: on the whole Dash: you can get comfortable, this place has been here years Lux: alright Lux: anyway, didn't Cleopatra show yet? Dash: She'll be waiting for a mirror Lux: huh? Dash: she's not cool with coming to me before checking what she looks like Dash: as if I've never 👀 her Lux: doesn't it feel Lux: Abraham and Sarah vibes Dash: what do you mean? Lux: incestuous Lux: because you say they're your family Lux: but you sleep with them Dash: she won't stay Dash: a tourist Lux: and you only sleep with the ones that won't stay Dash: they sleep with me, it's part of the tour Dash: you remember Lux: Cool speech there then Dash: I don't always get it right, like Dash: I thought that was your vibe, it's not Lux: no, you were exactly right Dash: Lux, come on Lux: it's family to you Lux: you don't care about the endless stream of fucked up girls who can cross here off their nowhere left to go list Lux: what they might be searching for Lux: never mind you actually have a home, somewhere you could be Lux: I was beyond wrong about you Dash: Don't fucking frame it like that Lux: 'cos you did a brilliant job with your narrative Lux: part of the tour, give me a fucking break Lux: you know, you aren't superior because you choose to be here, it's the opposite Lux: what kind of person lords that over people who have no choice, nowhere else they can be Lux: what the fuck Dash: that's not what I'm doing, chill out Lux: just don't Lux: you have no justification, you have no reason Lux: and clearly whatever you are doing here is going unchecked so whatever Lux: I'll be gone soon, but just know, I fucking see you Dash: I told you before we started, you set the pace, everything we did we both wanted to do Dash: nothing I do needs to be checked Lux: so you're that guy Lux: it isn't only bad if it's some serial killer down an alley and the girl is screaming and crying no Dash: You're making this way heavier than it is Lux: You don't get to tell me what I'm making it Dash: I don't get why you're twisting everything Lux: I haven't twisted anything Dash: we had fun, you said you liked me Lux: this isn't a straight issue of consent Lux: it's the fact that I know you knew I was vulnerable, I told you things, why I was here Lux: and you think it's acceptable to fuck people who are in that position, and you can't deny it because you literally did it to me, because, you know, they won't be here long Lux: and to have the nerve to advertise this place, these people, yourself, as a fucking safe space Lux: family Lux: that is insanely fucked up, I don't know how no one has ever told you that Dash: you can back off this witch hunt, yeah? Dash: you're not the same as Sapphire or Amber or Lotus or whoever Dash: they don't tell me things, it's not the fucking same Lux: Well I'm definitely sorry I did Dash: that's all been shallow, this got deep, you know Lux: I don't think I know anything about you Lux: not really Dash: You're just flipping out, I flipped you out Dash: but I didn't mean to & you don't mean that Lux: I just need to not be here right now Dash: Lux Lux: It's fine Lux: I mean, it's not Lux: but I'm leaving the main house to go for a walk, so just don't let me see you, okay Dash: You're not gonna tell anyone, are you? Lux: excuse me? Dash: all that shit you said about how it's not a safe space Lux: who the hell do I have to tell? Lux: and that's the worst part Dash: There's loads of people you could, but it's not true Lux: for a second there, you almost sounded like you gave a shit Lux: places like this will always exist, I'm not under any illusion I can stamp them all out Dash: I do! Dash: maybe I fucked up but that's not the farm's fault Lux: I'm not going to the cops, I have nothing to tell Dash: my head didn't go there, there's loads of good people here, doing beautiful things Dash: if I'm not one of them, that'll be my karma Dash: you don't have to leave Lux: I'm not Lux: that's your karma Lux: someone needs to stick around so there's some sense of consequence for your actions Dash: you don't have to go full avenging 👼 on me Dash: I won't be going heavy on you Lux: It's not a joke, Dash Dash: I'm not 🤡ing Dash: nothing uncool needs to happen between us, I'll give you space or whatever Lux: You're afraid Lux: aren't you Lux: that if I tell what you're like, girls like Cleopatra won't go near you anymore Lux: Jesus Christ Dash: I don't need to be afraid of that, I told you, we're all having fun Dash: there's no big soap opera vibe Lux: Fuck off now Dash: Ask Amber, she was mad at me before you but not like that, you've got this wrong Lux: I haven't got anything wrong Lux: this is what you did, to me, that's the end of Lux: you can tell yourself what you like about the rest, that's no concern of mine Dash: Nah, we talked about it, how I've done shit before that's 💔 & you said you didn't care Dash: that I couldn't hurt you Dash: & that you could tell I wasn't a bad person Dash: Why are you just taking it all back like none of that fucking happened? Lux: Why did you prove me wrong in such spectacular fashion? Lux: there's a reason you prefer keeping things shallow, and this is it Lux: if the answer isn't a yes or it's cool, you don't want to know, you don't want to be checked Dash: The reason I keep things shallow is they're on a fly by, they don't want to stay & I don't wanna be connected to someone else that'll split on me Lux: you aren't the gatekeeper of this place Lux: and nothing's forever, by your own admission Dash: I am of myself & I do my own fucking checks, yeah? Maybe you don't have a heart left to break by your own admission but I'm protecting the one you don't believe I've got, like Lux: There's no world in which I'm feeling sorry for you right now, okay Lux: you do not vet every girl you fuck for her tragic backstory, cut the crap Dash: Gimme a break, I said talking isn't usually part of it, going both ways, wouldn't be very chill or shallow if it was Lux: Yeah, like I said, you don't care Lux: and that's your lookout Lux: but to give it that faux hippie bullshit about family and welcoming, when you mean only for yourself, fucking sucks Lux: don't bother pretending, just be honest Dash: it happened different with you, that's the honest truth Dash: search me why Lux: right Lux: I wasn't born yesterday Dash: I do care Lux: you should be a better friend Lux: to these people, the ones you care about Dash: yeah Lux: that's all I have to say Dash: I'll cool it too then Lux: I don't think you're evil Lux: but I don't think you're a good person now Dash: I can't change your mind? Lux: Of course you can Dash: by doing what? Lux: by being a good person or a bad Dash: Beats me how that's getting judged when everyone else already thinks I'm being a good person except you & my bro Lux: don't confuse people not caring either way for approval of your actions Dash: you want me to care more for people who don't, nothing confusing about that Lux: I said being good wasn't easy Dash: & responsibility isn't my bag, he takes all that on Lux: there we go then Lux: I'm not expecting anything Dash: like I said, I'm not giving you anything but space Lux: Whatever Lux: Goodbye Dash: I'm sorry we read each other wrong Dash: it hasn't happened before Lux: It's happened plenty before Lux: they leave Lux: your behaviour and attitude is bullshit and I won't be apologising to you Dash: chill, you've made your point Lux: it's not about making it, it's about you understanding Lux: but why the fuck should I care, actually Lux: you're right, way too confusing, way too hard, no point Dash: get out of here then Dash: I don't understand & you don't care Lux: I'm not leaving, remember Lux: and that's the fucking point, you'll have to get used to feeling uncomfortable with it Dash: you can split conversationally, was more the vibe Lux: no, Dash Lux: you don't control the conversation, the narrative, any of it, that's the 'vibe' Lux: if you're feeling some type of way, you should go, take some responsibility for yourself Dash: You're responsible for hassling me now Lux: Then leave Lux: you control you, I control me Lux: I'm not doing what you don't want to do for some notion of being the fucking 'chill' cool one here Dash: I don't understand this, that's why I don't want to Lux: I don't think you want to Lux: it's fun and it's easy to do fucked up things Lux: and if everyone else is doing them, or not calling you out for it, why not Dash: I didn't do a fucked up thing to you Lux: I've said you did Dash: but that's not the way it was Dash: I opened up to you to, I still am Lux: You tell me about the tour and then you tell me I'm different though Lux: How do you expect me to take you at your word when what you've described there is exactly what went down Dash: I showed you around & I've showed some of them around, that doesn't mean everything else that happened was the same Lux: you said it like you thought I'd think it was funny Dash: I don't know why I did that Lux: Be honest Lux: was it just to see how cool I was and how I could hang Lux: or was it because you forgot, and thought I was one of the boys Dash: that couldn't be further from how I see you Lux: okay Lux: that's something then Dash: I meant what I said when I told you you're like a song I can't get out of my head, how I wanted to live in all those moments cos of what they felt like Dash: it's only got worse since then Dash: I didn't wanna hurt you, I don't Lux: you didn't hurt me by what you did Lux: at least, not at the time Lux: it's what you said Lux: to have to put bad intentions to those moments, you must get how shitty that is, you at least feel that too Dash: I was trying to show you this is different Lux: my head hurts Dash: Yeah 🌪 Lux: make sure you have some water Dash: that's your magic 🔮✨💖 Lux: I don't think I have any right now Dash: You haven't lost it Lux: I just need to replenish Dash: Me too Lux: I'll wish you good luck on that then Dash: Later? Lux: Yeah Dash: 🚀🪐💫

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harrysdimples · 4 years

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i hate how invested im in it and that im most likely setting myself up for disappointment but i really want harry to get that damn brits nomination. like, just one. and i dont even need or expect him to win anything this year bc of the competition that seems like the obvious favourite already but.. a nomination nod would be nice

I dunno babe. it’s obviously frustrating to not see his work recognised in the way we all think it should be, given the fact that the majority of the prejudice against him seems to be purely rooted in underlying misogyny and mocking of the fact that he came from a boyband (and didn’t overtly cater to the ~that wasn’t me~ narrative and produce something catered to the male gaze outright, when he left it) but in the end, awards aren’t everything, and don’t really mean much in terms of the relevancy to actual pop culture anymore. no black artist won album of the year at the grammys in the last decade, you’re telling me that kendrick and beyoncé didn’t deserve to win AOTY when they should’ve? of course not. the majority of the voting academy for these sorts of things are genuinely out of touch and there’s not much we can do about it unfortunately. he’s still extremely successful in basically every metric, and an award is just that, an award. some of my favourite artists and albums have been snubbed or never awarded for much. it would be real nice to see him get the recognition he deserves, but it is what it is if he doesn’t. he’s exceptionally privileged to be in the position he is don’t get me wrong, and like I said, he’s still incredibly successful, but i’ve accepted that he’s always going to be fighting an uphill battle when it comes to stuff like this.

#anonymous

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tellywoodtrash · 5 years

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ebss 09.07.19 lb

is this jai's girlfriend? she seems as idiotic and immature as him.

kabhi naa chodne ke kasme vaade = she's gonna dump his broke ass in about 5 episodes.

sonali's here! she's literally the only character i like on this show right now so seeing her really brightens up my day.

are jai/sonali supposed to be twins? i kinda get the vibe that they are the same age.

anyway, sonali, bless her heart, gave all her money to jai. which was a grand total of 150 rs.

jai manhoos is like “itne ka main kya karoonga?????”

NIKAL L****, PEHLI FURSAT MEIN NIKAL.

god sonali take your money back from this fool.

rani still on maun vrat with di, and tbh, this is the smartest thing she's done on this show ever. reasons are stupid, but pooja really isn't worth wasting time with rn.

amma continues to be the only sensible person on this damn show, by telling pooja not to waste time messing with kabir. and in response pooja's like NO BUT HE'S THE ONEEEEEEEE WHO... ffs wtf are you 6?????/ he offered to get you justice AFTER you tried to set his father on fire, and tried to make peace once more even after that. you're the one who started this petty nonsense with him.

OK THIS BISH CRAZY. before she at least used to listen to amma's voice of reason, now she's just straight up doing the opposite. she's become absolutely not worthy of rooting for, unless in situations of misogyny.

what kinda next level of extra???????? this is beyond oberoi levels of extra also.

there's everyone's shocked faces, and then there's kabir's eyeroll reaction, lmao.

kabir toh has been getting out his rage by doing some phadda everyday, aaj dhruv ko finally outlet mila hai.

but in vain. kabir just hauled him away like:

valiant chachi trying to attack but lmaoooooooo, pooja's like "pls stop yelling; heart attack TYPES (complete with shoulder shimmy action) aa gaya toh ab doctor bhaaga bhaaga nahi aayega."

and also adds that chachi is very irritating and she doesn't know how she tolerated her for all this while. saalon ki bhadaas nikaal rahi hai, lol.

lol pls note how kabir is mad, but not disagreeing or stopping her from saying any of it.

lo bhai ab sabke saamne hogi inki tashanbaazi.

sikke dene ke bahaane haath is taraah kyun chua be????

"aapke chashm-o-chiraag, aapke secret agent, mr. kabir mittal ko maine apne yahaan naukri dene ka mann bana liya."

dhruv is like i did not know that was an option, or i too would have applied.

ohoho kyaaaaaa hi swag. just fuck and get it over with man.

lol mummy legit said "tum jaati ho ya main sach much ke pagalpann pe utar aaoon??"

kabir's like mom pls stop cockblocking can't you see we're doing foreplay here???? in any case, yes babe, i'm down to get dirty with you. in more ways than one.

i was on his side for this battle until he said "hum tehre paidaaishi rayeez" and now instantly i want to kill him too.

pooja sharma really living up to her namesake and giving appropriate response.

ugh. both of you suck. (BUT ALSO THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO TURNED ON AFTER TUSSLING WITH EACH OTHER???? Y’ALL NEED TO STOP WITH THIS SHIT.)

sab kabir ke oopar toot pad rahein hai. let the guy eat, unlike the rest of you, he's the only one who's done some shit today.

dhruv is probably like ‘i don't like how those two had more sexual tension in front of all of us in these 3 min than i had with her in our bedroom for over a year.’

elevator music playing in kabir's head as everyone yells around him.

HEY! NOT THE MITHAIS! THERE'S LIKE ONE BOX PER PERSON, WHAT THE FUCK, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DESSERT FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.

oh boy, this is turning awkward. esp. with the reminder that pooja was his biwi. kabir pls keep that in mind and stay tf away from your pseudo-bhaabi.

apparently this is ~THE ONLY JOB HE COULD GET WITHOUT HIS CERTIFICATES~~~~~ areeeeeeeee you fucking kidding me???? 1. you already HAVE a job. which for some godforsaken reason you're determined not to do. 2. pls. you have like 5, 6 years of work experience. that counts more on the resume than any certificates. fuck outta here with this bs. just tell the truth: you wanna play these games with her, coz life mein aur kuch nahi bacha karne ko.

very pointed taunt on how will i handle your new sharaab waale kharche if i don't work, bitch, since you seem to show noooooooooo inclination to go to work yourself.

dhruv at least has the decency to look embarrassed.

lmao after saying all that, kabir is like "main tumhe taunt nahi kar raha hoon." lol, sure.

he's asking everyone if they have any other brilliant 1.6 lpm jobs lined up for him that he can waltz into.

dadaji is like "tu theek nahi kar raha hai." this asshole only has objections, never solutions. chal na buddhe.

bir, out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daily sar pe haath rakhne ka quota has been filled.

i'm telling you bro, still not too late; go get your wife and kid and disappear into the hills somewhere.

mummy is like ........ why bro. honestly why?

ispe na jaane kaunsa bhoot sawaar hai badla lene ka. shaayad apne haraami baap ka.

also he fully admitted that job toh kahin bhi mil sakti thi, but he chose to work in her company. glad that’s cleared up in canon itself.

idhar amma is like y u lyk dis, you horrible child?????

um excuse me, tumhaari haraami family NE HI sab kuch bigaada hai uska. do you not know the whole story, or are you just closing your eyes to it??????

and this mummy, why isn’t she fessing up to what she really did???? sab ke sab haraami log.

kabir: main uske aas paas rehna chahta hoon. amma: maine kaha tha kabir ko khud se door rakh. pooja: main khud chahti hoon ke kabir mere aas paas rahe. amma: tu bohut bada khatra mol le rahi hai.

this is one fuckall petty hate story that's being made to sound like a mighty star-crossed love story. thanks, no thanks.

lord, just give up, moms. your kids are being fueled by the power of petty and not going to listen to you ppl and your logic and reason.

idgaf about these two's passionate promises to make each other's lives miserable. you know whose life you're making miserable with this bullshit? mineeeee, you fuckers.

haaaaaaaaye raja beta looks so good in white shirt. this right here is my kryptoniteeeeee. fuck my nonsense heterosexuality.

cute exasperation but mummy pays no heed. and has a mauli for him too.

"aapko border pe hona chahiye tha. yeh aarti karke dhaage baandhogi toh kisi ko kuch hoga nahi."

fuck outta here you cute fuck i don't want to like you.

mom's like as far as i’m concerned, you're going to the border only. meaning pooja sharma is considered more dangerous than full fledged armies/terrorists. lol good. fear her.

"arre waah ghar ki doodharu gai ki aarti ho rahi hai."

lmao man i am really liking sassy dhruv. he has so much more personality now.

passive aggressive back and forth, but honestly, i am enjoying. what even is happening to this show when i like dhruv's sada hua personality more than pooja/kabir? absolute pandemonium, that's what.

"is sab ka hisaab degi pooja sharma." hey man, fuck outta here. your brother was a loser even before she did all this. don't put this on her.

amma is cutely fussing over pooja eating breakfast.

hein? who has raj bhog for breakfast? and chocolate cake too?

a bitch with zero fucks to give, like rani, apparently. salaam to her fearless appetite.

the only time i like pooja now is when she shows her vulnerable/loving human side, that the old her used to exhibit only to amma/rani/shail/aarush.

btw, i like this outfit/makeup muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh better, but ouff that ghatiya mismatch of a neck piece. why?????

———————————————————————

precap: same shit, different day. how long are we going to have to put up with this??????

#ek bhram sarvagun sampanna #ebss lbs #episode liveblogs

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