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#it's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see ???
ysrjune · 1 day
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(i feel like i need to let you guys know that I HAVE to listen to the song on repeat 4 a few times to really get me going for this fic 😔)
also i know the ending kinda sucks Im SORRY
Into You ✦
Sam had texted you to dress nicely since he was taking you to a nice restaurant. It's so sweet of him to do this even though you forced him out of your life for 6 years.
Luckily, you had packed a few nice dresses in case something special came up. This was definitely something special. The color of the dress was plain but had a cute pattern all over it. You did your hair in whatever way you thought looked the best and added a few other details like rings, earrings, and a necklace after finishing your makeup.
To top it all off, you sprayed your favorite perfume, and you were done getting ready. You had a couple of minutes to wait until Sam came by to pick you up. You spent that short amount of time talking pictures and becoming a little nervous about how this is gonna go.
Your mom came knocking at your door, smiling. “He’s here,” She entered, admiring how beautiful her little girl looked. “You look so gorgeous, my love.” A tear nearly fell from her eye. You smile softly to her and give her a gentle hug. “Thank you, mom. I'll see you later.”
You went outside to find Sam with a bouquet of flowers. “Looks like someone really outdid herself on the whole look, huh?” He huffed a chuckle, totally checking you out. “You're the one who told me to dress nice.” You say with a twirl while walking over to him so he could see the whole outfit.
“Well, you listened.” Sam smiled down at you and passed over the flowers. “Oh, Sam. I love th—”, “ah-ah. they're for your mom.” He cut you off, making you look to the side, then back to him with confusion. “Um, what?” You asked before he shook his head with a laugh. “Just messin’ with you, n/n.” Oh, so you leave for a few years and all of a sudden he thinks hes a comedian..
“Come on, let's go.” He reached his arm around you, leading to his car. This is so weird.. Sam has never been the type to be so touchy, talkative, or confident. He really was like a new person.
The car ride was anything but quiet and awkward. He started all the conversations, as well as kept them going. “A year after you left, I realized how big of a loser I was. Weird, too.” He cringed at the memory of how he used to be. “I was so pale, too. I genuinely looked so unwell. So, I decided to go out more to get tanned.”
He had worked in construction for a while so he could have more color to his skin, and it worked really well. He also told you about how he started working out to not be scrawny. The brown hair with blondish tints was actually because he didn't like the black and blue anymore. Eye makeup? How child like.
Listening to the reasons why he changed was different than you expected. Way different.
Dinner went well. You told him about your studies and life after graduating. Sam made sure to pay attention at all times. You also learned that your cousin wasn't lying about so many girls liking him. “I went out with a few, had sex with one, and regretted it. They didn't like me for who I am. They just liked me cause I stopped being so emo.” He laughed at it.
“Did you like them for who they were?” He rolled his eyes at your question. “Well, duh. I don't go out with girls just cause they're cute. All those girls I dated, I got to really know before, and it's not like I went out with all the ones who wanted me.” He sips his drink, “Some of them were skanks, and I didn't wanna catch anything. And some of them were just.. not good at all, yknow? Cant believe some girls think being rude is flirting.”
“Did you start looking more for personality than looks after Alyssa?” You crack a joke, hoping that he doesn't take it the wrong way. “Yep. Most definitely.” He replied with that charming smile.
Dinner was mostly catching up. After paying, he took you to his house. Lets just say one thing led to another, and you were arguing about how you just up and left like that.
“You promised! You promised that you'd call and visit, but you lied! If you wanted me to disappear from your life, you could have fucking said that!” He sort of shouted. “Sam, I didn't want to erase you from my life. I just wanted to live a little!”
“That doesn't make any sense. You probably just didn't care about me anymore after meeting new people. Look, its fucked up, but you can say it if you want. After all, it shouldn't matter anymore cause you're here now, right?” He says sarcastically.
“I waited for you to call me for 6 years! almost a whols decade, y/n!” He crossed his arms. “I don't know if it ever occurred to you that the phone works both ways, Sam.” You yell at him.
“No, dont pull that shit on me because I did call. I tried, but you know what? You changed your god damn number.” He sounded so mad and frustrated. “Do not play with me right now. Just say it already.”
“Okay! I stopped caring! Im sorry, Sam. That was stupid of me. I was like, your only friend. I know!” You replied and put yourself on his arms for a hug. As much as he wanted to push away, he wasnt like that. At least he wasn't gonna be like that after you apologized.
he sighed, arms wrapping around you and chin resting on your shoulder. “I know you're sorry. At least you're here now.” His big hands slide up and down your back. “Missed you so much.”
You sniffled into his chest and mumbled out the same. “Let me tell you something.” He says and sits you on the couch. “If I wasn't in love with you, I wouldn't have cared thaf you left. I was so used to people leaving already, so it wouldn't have mattered. but you had me so head over heels. that's the biggest reason I was mad.”
You sort of knew he had a little crush on you, but in love? “You're lying.” He shook his head. “Why would I lie?” Fuck, thats true. “To get back at me, maybe.” You sigh. “Sam, im gonna be honest, I never had a whole crush on you, but I did think about us being a couple sometimes. When you were with Alyssa, I was thinking about how I could treat you so much better.”
“Then why didn't you? I would have said yes. Didn't you realize how often I'd rather spend time with you than her? I wanted it to be you.” He spoke softly, tangling yours and his fingers together. “I've never gotten over you. I look for you in every girl I go out with. Whether it's personality or if she has the slightest resemblance..”
Okay, Sam.. what the fuck. but also, aw! “That's.. kind of weird, but sweet in a way.” You say with a giggle. “Yeah, I guess.” Sam shrugged, accidentally looking down at your boobs. “Um, sorry.” He looked away and blushed.
No matter how much he changed, he was never gonna fully get rid of that shy guy in him. “It's okay.” You laughed at him and decided to stroke his cheek with your hand. “You've always been so cute when you blush.”
“Yeah, okay.” He says in a deepened, sarcastic voice and rolls his eyes. “Its just. blushing. Nothing about that should be amusing.” , “But it is!” Your hand went to mess with his curly hair.
“You look really good with long hair, too.” You keep complimenting him on his appearance until he rushed in for a kiss. His hands went to your hips, rubbing up and down until they got a little more nosy and rubbed your thighs, making you shiver.
“Sam, what are you doing..” You mumbled against his lips. “I couldn't hold back anymore. I needed to do something.” He mumbled back and pecked your lips one more time before shifting to your neck. “Sam, what if someone sees—” That made him smile against you. “Silly, no one's gonna see. I live alone.”
One thing led to another, and now he had two fingers in you on his bed. So much happened too fast. You couldn't remember what even led to this. “Sam, faster, please.” You whimper, holding onto his forearm. “Why, you don't like me going slow? Don't like when I'm being nice?” He whispered into your ear, speeding up the pace just a little bit.
“No, I—,” What were you supposed to say? You were already at a loss of words, getting so stimulated by his long fingers. “Can't say anything else, baby?” He smirked and shook his head. “It's okay. Just let me make you feel good.” He removed his fingers and put them on his mouth, sucking off all the cum you left.
He let his cock free from his boxers and slid it on between your folds, causing a moan to leave your mouth. “You like that?” He questioned, not expecting you to react like that. You nod your head at Sam, letting your hand find its way to his cock and inserting it into you for him.
Sam let a breathy moan escape him as you did this. “Shit, you couldn't wait?” He grips your hips, swallowing. “So tight. It's better than I ever imagined.” He groaned, moving in and out slowly. “Can I go faster, please? pleasepleaseplease.” Every plead was said with every thrust.
You nod your head, keeping your eyes on his face. He looked so good in the dim light. All sweaty, eyebrows knitted together. “Sam, ‘m gonna cum.” you scratch at his back. “yeah? so do it then. cum all over my cock, s’okay, pretty.” his cock went deeper inside you.
just a couple more thursts, and it was over for you. He edged himself for a little while so he could make you finish 2 more times before he slid in between your folds and came all over them. the way he would only whimper when be was close was so cute.
He stayed lying on your chest for a short while as you twirled his locks in your fingers. “Please dont leave. I can't lose you again.” Was he asking you to move all the way back here again? The first thought that came to your mind was yes, but then you went deeper into thought, thinking about your friends back over where you lived now.
“I'll..” You pause, looking at him. Look at you with his pretty eyes. “stay.”
Great.
Timeskipping to a year later, he asked you to be his official girlfriend and to move in with him. And of course you said yes! Life with Sam Monroe is perfect. Hes so sweet and gentle all the time, even when hes upset. Hes all you could ever ask for in a boyfriend.
tags: @heartsforanakin @sockiess @radiantvader @anakinstwinklebunny @lunalitva @lvrfay3 @froggyfrip @geckoomoria @espinathena-17 @demieyesore @your-arm-is-minty-fresh @gallerygourmet @haydensprettyprincess 🎀
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chamomiletealeaf · 1 day
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Johnny 'I'll fist fight you (affectionately) if you don't think you're pretty.' MacTavish
AHHH I LOVE THIS (might project in this one because I’ve recently been feeling ugly asf because of my Telogen Effluvium (stress induced hair loss)
Warnings: insecurity, mild suggestive themes at the end.
You’d be in the bathroom holding back tears while trying to do your hair for the date you were supposed to go on with your boyfriend Johnny. You can’t seem to get your hair right and it shows way too much of your face. Or so you think.
knock knock
“Can I come in bonnie? Wanna see how pretty you look.”
You sniffle and try to make your voice sound as convincing it can be.
“Um. Not yet! I- I’m not dressed!” You say hesitantly.
“Now I really wanna come in.” He says, and you can hear the smirk in his voice and you roll your eyes.
“C’mon, please? Wanna see my girllll.” He whines out and you give in.
“Ok fine. come on in.” You say, and he does.
He comes in the bathroom and smiles at you, even though your head is down, pretending to rummage through your makeup bag for something.
Johnny wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder, looking at you in the mirror.
“Hey girlie.” He coos with a smile, but you don’t look up.
“Hey.. look up bonnie. Wanna see that pretty little face of yours.” He says as he goes to reach for your jaw with one hand and forces your head up so you look in the mirror.
His smile drops and his brows furrow when he sees the tear streaks and your puffy eyes.
“What’s the matter dovey?” He asks with genuine concern. “Why ya crying??” He turns you around so you face him and he looks at your face still, waiting for an answer.
“I- I don’t know I just… can’t get my hair right, my makeup isn’t blending well, I hate the way this sundress fits me, I- I just feel kinda ugly I guess.” You sniffle but drop your head down and look at your hands.
“Oh sweetheart…” Johnny coos.
“Look at me.” He says softly, and you don’t, so he lifts your chin up with his hand.
“I said look at me lass.” He says, still in a soft tone.
“You look absolutely gorgeous. Fuckin’ stunning. You could have your hair in all different directions, a bin bag on, and dirt smeared all over your face and you’d still be the most beautiful woman in the world.” He says, still holding your face.
“I think your hair looks beautiful, and your makeup too. I like the eyeshadow color you chose. Makes those pretty eyes that much more captivating as if they ever could entrance me any more. And this sun dress?”
A smirk begins to form on Johnny’s face as he turns you back around to face the mirror and he places his hands on your thighs and runs them up under your dress until they’re squeezing your hips.
“This dress was fuckin’ made for you. God you know how I love sundresses on you. You replace every star in the sky with just how much you shine my love.” He says into your ear and you sniffle again, but your lips twitch with a small smile.
“Now look in the mirror and say that you are the prettiest woman in the world.” He says, and you look at him.
“Johnny-“ you start, but he interrupts you.
“Ah- say it.” He demands.
You bite your lip for a second, cringing at what he wants you to say, because you don’t believe it. But you look at him and try anyway.
“Don’t say it to me. I already know. Say it to yourself.” He demands again, and grips your jaw again to look at yourself in the mirror and not at him.
“I- I am the prettiest woman in the world.” You mumble.
“Again.” He says.
“I am the prettiest woman in the world.” You say again, with more confidence, and your cheeks heat up with embarrassment.
“Aye- that you are bonnie.” He says, finally satisfied with your response.
“Now, let’s go out on our date hm? Wanna show everyone who my pretty little lass is.” He says into your ear as he squeezes your hips which makes you giggle as his facial hair tickles your skin.
“And when we get back?” He whispers lowly this time with a smirk, “I’m gonna prove to you again right between your thighs just how bloody fuckin’ beautiful you are.” He says, and you let out a little gasp which makes him laugh.
You forgot all about your insecurities with Johnny, because it was just you and him, and that’s all that ever mattered in the first place.
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the purpose of this post is for me to figure some stuff out so i'm open to feedback and discussion
disclaimer: i love Halsin, he's my precious bear man
but damn i am pissed
i started to really dig into the epilogue, specifically that last morning after the brain goodbye scene in the room at the inn where he says he has nine wagons of kids and he will aid the people in Thaniel's realm
sadly i can't find any footage of what he says when Tav goes "oh a community built with your own hands, i'd love to see that" (or something to that extent) bc i think that is the one option that nullifies the goodbye and i think? he just asks if Tav is sure and then happy end bells
but even so
the interaction practically starts with "why does this sound like you're saying goodbye?" - oh that's because he is. at least for now. but Tav can visit, he's very eager for them to visit - and then narrator is like a tenday later Tav went to the commune and then the party invite stuff, not important
and I'm like....
it just hit me how - yes, Halsin has abandonment issues and he wants to help those orphans and all the homeless refugees and all the great stuff but like…… HOW DARE YOU DECIDE FOR ME THAT I DON'T WANNA GO WITH YOU????
watching that on a loop three times seriously hit me hard and i don't like it (as in me, personally, not in the sense that it's bad writing or it makes no sense for him to do that, maybe it does - if somebody can help me wrap my head around that, I would be super grateful bc atm I'm stuck in my own emotional reaction to Halsin making decisions for me)
in my head Tav's response to that should be: fuck you, i don't want to visit - fuck that! i wanna go with you and move in with you bc I love you but i guess you don't really want that huh? oh you do? then I guess we are at an impasse, huh?
bottom line is - what do I want to do with it in my fic?
i could ignore it bc i kinda wanna, i don't want them fighting like that
on the other hand it would be great to have this devolve into a conflict, bc i already sprinkled a few tiny bits of them saying not the best things but then the other kinda steps past it or around it and they are fine, but it would add some realism for them to have a serious disagreement about their (joint) future and about communicating and making decisions and could be something to be revisited as a work in progress for them to grow into as their relationship keeps going
i don't mind exploring difficult shit in my fics, i already decided to commit and give Tav my trauma and it was very cathartic just drafting that bit, and this turning into a conflict could play into that I suppose, could work really well
I guess my problem is the dissonance between Halsin doing that unintentionally bc of his own issues and him generally being very considerate and respectful of others, especially Tav imo, he was perfectly happy to follow their decisions as a leader but now I guess they are no longer the leader and this is his thing, his commune, his new purpose in life and ofc he could never be selfishly happy when he could be doing good things for strangers but like.... i can't grasp that step how from that he goes into "therefore I shall not offer this as a choice for them but instead make that a foregone conclusion that this is goodbye, at least for now" - is it bc asking means risk of rejection and he'd rather reject himself to spare them both the interaction?
sorry this got rambly XD but anyway - thoughts?
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peccaberry · 1 day
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Pecca i want you to know that your interpretation of Volo as an angsty teenager is groundbreaking. His course of action in pla makes so much more sense when you read him as, like, 16 having his first religious crisis
THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ME 😭
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I feel like a really easy thing to forget is that we don't actually know how long the events of PLA go on for
We tend to think of Pokemon characters as locked in on one age I think instead of being actual people who live and grow. I've never really liked that bc it kinda feels unnatural to me. I wanna see these characters live their lives and not be trapped in a timeless bubble of "the narrative".
It's pretty ambiguous how long exactly you're out surveying and given the day/night cycle I don't think it would be ridiculous to say you could be at it for a year in game time before you actually fight Volo depending on if you take your time trying to complete the Pokedex or not.
So to me I think Volo was a 17ish year old teenager who got too lost in the sauce and as he got older his plans got bigger and his Pokemon got stronger and eventually he felt ready to take you and the world on.
I think the idea of a post-pla Volo is so fascinating to me because I want to be able to explore the impact of how something like that would affect such a young guy. He's not like Cyrus who was canonically 27 with his own established organization to help him, he was a younger guy with a dream that he could make the world better that had his own delusions of grandeur crushed at their highest point. The only people he had to fall back on were his Pokemon.
Idk I'm pro Volo learning and maturing somewhat in the years after that. I'm not saying he immediately realizes the error of his ways or anything, especially with his attitude, but I want to believe he could find peace eventually because at some point we all have to or die trying, you know?
Using context clues about how he feels the world is a bad place (and even if we wanna reach into Pokemas and analyze "use people before they use you") he's probably not had very good relationships with the world around him.
I feel like a lot of teenagers especially can relate to feeling like the world is suddenly a lot worse of a place than they thought it was. It's scary and frustrating and relationships with your peers get a lot more complicated. Wanting to put an end to it isn't an uncommon feeling, most of us just aren't given access to powerful Pokemon and the ability to fight god irl at that age.
But that's why the Pokemon world is better 🙏
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
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love like you / maternal pang
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bonus under cut:
the first stephanie + the maternal pang tone destroyer i couldn't include bc it's a serious comic
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#you might wanna zoom in for this one sorry#anyway i think putty likes orel. not enough to really get off his ass and help him but there's a fondness there#and i think his position of power relative to the rest of the town could be helpful in influencing things if he like. believed in them more#but he doesn't really expect any better from himself or the rest of moralton and i think it's because he doesn't really believe goodness is#attainable esp by christian/biblical standards. he thinks it's kind of a pretense for everyone. but then stephanie is good so what does tha#say about him? or moralton? i think he'd get a bit better with her around.#it'd make him insecure but she's an encouraging type so. maybe he'd get there eventually#we don't get to see much of that but eh. i think this show is hopeful at the end of the day. i don't think moralton WOULD change much but i#Could change a little. um. anyway that's what this comic is about lol#also im in love with stephanie. so.#moral orel#orel puppington#rod putty#reverend putty#stephanie putty#skrunkart#sorry if the models are kinda inconsistent i haven't drawn these fellers before#it's occurring to me that this is probably the longest comic i've posted on here? just by panel number anyway#which like. moral orel deserves it but that's kinda surprising because i've certainly made longer stuff before#but it's mostly oc stuff from like 3 years ago i never posted and don't really plan on posting#i guess i just tend to stick to gags or quick emotional punches and this is a more lengthy character exploration#which i tend to save for fics. but it's winter break so i've got the time. maybe that's it#this was supposed to be a quick thing where i got to draw stephanie what happened. anyway more moral orel stuff on the way but sheesh#this one kinda got away from me is all. but i like it :)#also full disclosure i forgot to go back and figure out stephanie's tattoos and i don't care enough to. sorry steph ily but im done#also btw i DO think most of moralton are true believers they're just like. assholes/hypocritical. they're godfearing but lazy when it comes#to ACTUALLY helping people (or otherwise let self interest get in the way leading to loopholes etc)#sorry i haven't written about the show before so the meta analysis/interpretation is leaking in#does moral orel have an abbreviation? it's a pretty short name so maybe not. i think moror would be cute :)#also i discovered i can do half-tones on firealpaca so i wanted to try it out :3
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ihatethiswebsite77 · 1 year
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Watching "it's a Jersey thing". I am beyond confused and in disbelief as to what prompted Cartman to say that
"Deep down you're a monster, but you're my little monster" line.
My working theory is that part of the reason Cartman hates and constantly rips on Kyle for things about him that he can't inherently change, and why he paints a narrative where he assigns those traits a negative meaning even tho they aren't negative in nature is because he is subconsciously annoyed that there is nothing "naturally" negative about Kyle. Kyle is pretty much a well adjusted kid for the most part, but his negative personality traits do come out a LOT when he is interacting with Cartman, but there's nothing about where he 'comes from' that's negative. He has a happy and healthy family, he knows his dad, his parents have respectable jobs, etc.
As opposed to Cartman, who is deluded about being "naturally big boned" which is something for which he is constantly being ridiculed, as well as his mother being a "crack whore" which is also something that he is constantly being ridiculed for. He can't change who his mother is, (and while he could lose weight) he doesn't really believe that cuz like I said he is deluded by his mother into thinking that that's just how his family is.
So when he finds out Kyle is from new Jersey, he immediately jumps to ripping on him about it. Because it's something that Kyle is just "naturally" that everyone in town actually considers to be a negative trait.
But then, when Kyle actually shows that Jersey side to everyone, and it stops being just a way for Cartman to do his usual thing of assigning negative traits to things Kyle is, even tho for once he actually has ground to rip on Kyle for, Cartman is very chill with him.
Almost like, knowing that deep down inside Kyle actually has that "monster" in him brings comfort to Cartman, because now he feels like Kyle is a bit more similar to him.
The "he's just like me fr" of it all.
Or maybe I'm just reaching for the high heavens with this analysis. Who knows.
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juriyuna · 8 months
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sometimes i remember back when miyuri's event got announced and people on here were going "please tell me this is a mistranslation" and i was like. sorry but フェチ is 100% "fetish" and 足 is either feet, legs, or paws, so pick your poison
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airenyah · 7 months
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I’m very much in the gmmtv should split all their ships camp but joongdunk are an exception as well for me. They have such a fun dynamic with each other even in the bts and interviews that it would sadden me to see them separated. I’d also worry for their productivity, even Tee said for Hidden Agenda whenever they were apart they’d start sulking 😂
right!!!!! i actually rewatched the hidden agenda special ep where tee talked about that only a few days ago. them being sulky when they can't work together is just so cute and wholesome!! and you know what?? relatable djfkgjkfdgd (my best friend and went to this summer camp for like a decade, first as participants and then as leaders. and back as participants we spent 4 out of 5 years sitting at the same table at every single meal and usually right next to each other, even. then when we became leaders we had to split up, bc every table was required to have at least one leader. idk about her, but i was definitely sulky that we couldn't sit at the same table for the 4 years we were leaders. and towards the end of the camp, the more tired we got the more we ended up sitting at the same table anyway lmao. and again, idk about her but even the other activities and tasks that we had to do were always more fun when i was allowed to work with her. so. i absolutely 1000000000% get the boys)
that being said, me personally? i wouldn't necessarily be sad for them if they don't get to work together. they're grown-ass men and they are perfectly capable to function without the other. and they can always hang out and talk outside of work (if dunk picks up his phone when joong calls or joong manages to get dunk out of the house, that is kjdfkjdfgk)
will i be absolutely stoked if they get another series together? hell yeah!!!!!! (dark sexy vampire fantasy bl for joongdunk when???????)
but not gonna lie, purely from an acting standpoint i'd actually love to see them work separately at some point. especially dunk. he works extremely well with joong and i'm super curious if he manages some of the things i've come to adore about his acting when it's with someone else (whether it's another male co-star or someone of another gender)
not just that, another reason why i want to see them act with other people is because different acting partners can bring out different things with you because you'll have a different dynamic, a different way or working and interacting with all of them. and that can also help you grow as an actor, because you can take away something different from every partner you work with. and that is something that i would want for them, also
(plus, i wouldn't want them to get bored of doing series together. absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, you know? i think it'll be more exciting for them if they do go off to work on separate projects and reunite every once in a while. i wouldn't want their joint projects to become like... a habit, i guess. i'm not sure how to phrase what i'm trying to say)
so either way, whether they'll get a series together or work on separate projects, i'll be satisfied. as long as i get to see both of them on my screen next year in some way (preferably as a lead)
the absolute best case scenario would actually be two projects per boy: they do one bl project together (hi dark sexy vampire fantasy bl) and one separately. unfortunately i'm never going to get this, though
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haliaiii · 7 months
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tell us more abt sam and val plsplspls they are the backbone of our society i love hearing abt them
ofc ofc!! i love talking about them lmao
The story itself is called Retrograde and Sam and Val are the two main characters!
(Brace yourself it's kinda long!)
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Val:
Personality wise he's pretty reserved, doesn't really say much unless needed, he's more open with people he's close to
Though he may look moody, he's actually just awkward
Currently he's working as a bounty hunter to pay his rent and keep the license but really it's just a title and he just goes around accepting odd jobs that pay him
He doesn't kill people so he instead chooses to beat them up real bad and turn them in
Val isn't his real name, it's just a nickname. Barely anyone knows his real name aside from one or two people.
Doesn't have the best past (original i know but its plot relevant) but he's working through his mistakes and trying to make amends with himself and others
He was found drifting in the river on the verge of death but was miraculously revived by a doctor who ran a small clinic nearby
He got into bounty hunting because he could make a living while not having to disclose his identity.
His eyes are actually not normal and are in fact a genetic condition he was born with! He gets a lotta stares and comments for it but he doesn't really care atp
Actually ridiculously good at dancing, he won a lot of competitions for ballroom dancing when he was in highschool and he could've gone professional if it weren't for certain other reasons
Because of his weirdly unique talent, he's really agile which makes him good at close hand combat
He's the one who drives both him and Sam around because he's the only one who has a hoverbike and can drive
Things he likes:
Ballet performances
The spicy shrimp noodles from his favorite thai restaurant
Cheesy romcoms (a secret)
Cats
Driving his hoverbike 30 miles above the speed limit
Things he doesn't like
Fire
Large crowds
Bugs (especially spiders)
People who don't respond to text messages
Messy eaters
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Sam:
He's gonna have a longer description cause he's pretty plot relevant for the beginning
He's a pretty easy going guy, in many ways the opposite Val
Easy to get along with, most of the time he's pretty chill so he doesn't find it too hard to talk to people
Not really an extrovert tho, somewhere in the middle but still social if that makes sense
Val found him in an underground cave sleeping in a pod like thing while on a bounty
Somehow he managed to open the pod and wake Sam up, only to find out he has no recollection of anything that's happened to him nor who he is or his name
They decided to call him 'Sam' for now because it was printed on the tag hanging from his left ear
The last thing Sam remembers before waking up is a giant flash and burning buildings
Based on the weird room, sleeping pod, and the weird suit he's wearing, the two figure out that Sam's been asleep for a lot longer than he thought (more than 500 years)
He's actually from the Previous Era, which was an old civilization a lot more technologically advanced than the Current Era but was destroyed by a cataclysmic explosion (wonder what caused it?)
So Sam is technically many many years old atp but is still mentally the same age as Val
As you can guess he doesn't really take this very well
Turns out there was another pod next to Sam's pod that's been opened meaning that he may not be alone
Sam decides he wants to recover his lost memories and find out what happened to him and also find the person in the other pod, or at least what happened to them
Since he has no idea what the current era is like he enlists Val's help in exchange for helping him pay his rent.
He decides to keep his true identity a secret to not draw attention
He's actually really good at fighting and can hold up with Val pretty well so the two become partners
He's got these strange metal implants inside him, the most visible one around his neck which he's a bit self conscious about.
He doesn't know why it's there but it might have something to do with the blue ring above his head
The halo only turns off when he sleeps/lies down but seems to be above his head no matter what (he doesn't like it cause it draws a lot of attention)
His eyes are really unnatural and actually glow in the dark, another thing that freaks him out
His hair is naturally coral pink and not dyed (which is also a bit strange but not as much as the other things in his opinion)
Sam can't really read well, he's not sure if it's because he never learnt to read or the language has changed so much since he went to sleep, he's also not great at math
Kinda thanks to this he's also not great at budgeting and sometimes spends a lot of money on useless things that piques his interest (which causes him and val to do more bounties, much to val's dismay)
Even though he can be kind of an idiot sometimes, he does his best to fix his mistakes and make it up to people
Weapon of choice is dual guns!
Things he likes:
Sweet drinks (he's got a bad addiction to boba, milkshakes, and smoothies)
Arcade games (sucks at the fighting games but really good at rhythm games)
Astronomy (he knows nearly every constellation and its position by memory, it's kinda scary)
Action movies
Things he doesn't like:
Needles
Narrow hallways and closed spaces
Horror movies
Bugs (they're both screwed i know)
Some other fun facts !!
They live together in Val's apartment, they alternate sleeping on the couch and bed since Val felt bad
Even though Val said he'd only help Sam if he helped pay his rent, he actually didn't mind helping him for free and only added that because Sam insisted
Val is the only one who can cook out of the two, however that doesn't mean he's good at it, so they usually just order out most of the time
The world they live in is a mix between futuristic and post apocalyptic, yeah there's still technology but it's not as great as it was before
Part of this was because after the collapse of the previous era, rebuilding took a crazy long time and there was a big power struggle until the current government took control
There was a 4 year long civil war that happened and ended around 5 years before Sam woke up
There's currently a large supply shortage so for the past few decades so some technology has regressed
Their world is technically an alternate universe of our world, the divergent point happened around the late 1940s, I could go into it more but it's not that plot relevant but it is the reason they don't have a lot of today's modern technology despite it being many years into the future
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yardsards · 2 years
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you've heard of being "touch starved", now get ready for "touch hangry"
#eliot posts#touch starved#i was rereading through some of my old fics and#the plot of one is basically a character being touch hangry#i'd say i get touch hangry but not really. i don't actually get angry about it but i DO get a strong urge to playfight#anyway my consensus upon rereading my fics is:#all three of my infinity train fics are actually pretty good#'from things that accidentally touch' is prolly the best one?#but i'm actually liking 'you can run away with me anytime you want' a lot rn bc i really dig the qpr vibes i established there#i was dissatisfied with 'and the moon's never seen me before' when i wrote it but i actually really like it now. made me smile.#i don't really like either of my toh fics very much#i like the concept of 'interlacing' and AM gonna finish it up but i hate how i wrote most of it#'the beach episode' has some good bits but i dislike a lot of it. it was the first thing i'd written in YEARS and it shows#kinda hate that it's my most popular fic cuz it's my least favourite#but people enjoying it so much did encourage me to practice writing some more i think?#i don't regret writing it. i think i needed the practice and writing my first fic since like eighth grade was nice#sidenote i WISH eighth grade eliot didn't delete their fic out of shame. i wanna read it.#anyway i think i wanna post the last chapter of tbe eventually. i think it's half written somewhere#it's my least fav fic and a bunch of my headcanons got disproven but i think it deserves to be finished#i have a couple readers who still wanna see the ending despite it being years and it just being a slice of life fic so no cliffhangers#('from things that accidentally touch' is my touch hangry fic)#that fic originally had my highest kudos to hits ratio but now it has the lowest ratio of any of my single chapter fics#and i know it is because people have been rereading it since then for comfort and that makes me really happy
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mushroom-for-art · 1 year
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Syn has been living in my head rent free so he gets put in situations, situations being going to a nice café apparently and chatting with another shadow mewtwo, hope this is okay @seasidemew also Pikkot and the concept of Stardust Café belongs to @spikyegg!
Business was steady within multiverse Stardust café, Pokémon filed in and out most ordering their treats to go as they continued on their journey through the possibilities while some chose to stay and take a seat, taking a moment to relax within the calm aromatic atmosphere of the shop, freshly baked treats and breads steamed creating a delicious scent with carefully crafted teas to suit. The customers chatted at their tables to those they'd never even met before from entirely different worlds all taking the time to enjoy the delicacies lovingly baked by Pikkot in the kitchen, strangers exchanged cakes and brownies to each other in warmth as for a time a great sense of community was created within the room.
Due to the boundaries of this space within and between universes synergy corrupt individuals found that they quickly mellowed out as the behaviours of seeking more power were impossible in this environment and yet being in this bubble outside of worlds kept them appeased allowing many to return to an almost rational state. Though the many customers still exercised an air of caution about the two dark hued genetic Pokémon that were chatting up a storm at one of the tables, creating a noticeable area of empty seats. The taller, lighter gray hued of the two laughed into his hand as his tail idly swayed the end glowing brightly as it brushed across the floor. The more dark blue gray hued one with bright glowing crackles of energy flashing over her skin continued moving her hands in flourish as she told her story, her tail tip flicked in engagement though rested on a stool rather than laying on the floor like her companion's due to the bright shining and incredibly sharp crystal fused into the tip of her tail.
"Of course I wasn't going to let such a cheap tactic fly, while I understand it from a battle strategy point of view my way of seeing it is, if one is going to execute some cheap trick you need to be sure you can follow through, use it to your advantage to strike an ending blow and win, otherwise you're just gonna piss me off," she laughed a bit of an empty cruel laugh her tail swaying near the base which didn't quite reach the end, "well, I say that is if the miserable little creature had any real chance of winning." Her hand moved, rolling her wrist to flourish with her hand once more, "not to brag or anything." Her tone not matching her statement.
"I will give them the fact they managed to create a mark," her finger touched over a small scar on her forearm tapping it before turning her arm in examination, "not that it's that noticeable, well not noticeable to normal people at least but noticeable to champions," her mouth turned into a grin and although she showed teeth it was playful as her tone complimented casually. Her companion smirked as he raised a brow before relaxing into a chuckle.
"Complimenting me won't make me reconsider my evaluation on how much of a threat you might be," though they watched each other with equal caution there was a level of ease and playfulness to his tone, "but it does boost my ego." She tutted.
"Arceus in heaven above we can't be having that," she remarked playfully. She leant back casually in her chair in a half stretch as he turned from the waist to look around the café casually at hearing the bell on the door chime, he regarded the Bisharp with little interest turning back to sitting forward. There was a softer chime from the order up bell as a short, glasses wearing orange tailed mewtwo collected the plates of cakes and other confectioneries along with the two teacups and a specially chosen tea brewed in a teapot to compliment the taste buds. As they walked around the front desk carefully holding the tray in their hands the Bisharp moved backwards in a deliberate fast beat that saw their foot standing directly on one of the mewtwos toes and their bladed body roughly knocking into them also as the mewtwo staggered from surprise and no doubt pain. Their momentum saw them side stepping before they steadied and slowed the tray still balanced and no treats lost or tea spilt as they sighed in relief.
The Bisharp barked some remark about watching where you're going to the Mewtwo as they continued forward, keeping their head down before arriving at the table of the shadow Pokémon without further incident. Carefully they took the plates from the tray placing them on the table along with the teacups and pot, the lighter one, Syn glanced over the food that had been delivered and brought his eyes over to glance at the other mewtwo, short for mewtwo standards for sure with a short tail to boot, a bump in the chest piece that would indicate a mega stone along with some noticeable scarring around the region. His eyes glanced at the cuts made in their side that were starting to slowly bleed.
"That looked like it hurt," he commented casually as they put down the last of the tables order, he watched them move their shoulder and arm to look at the cuts and frown to themselves.
"aah drat…I guess it did," the mewtwo who he realized was a female spoke from their mouth, "could've been worse though, so glad it wasn't." Her tone was infectiously positive and a bit on the loud side."Pikkots gonna end up making a first aid wall of shame for me though at this rate," she laughs in an easy manner, "well I hope you both enjoy, and Darkness don't cause any trouble."
The darker mewtwo made something of a bleh sound in response as the orange two walked back to the kitchen to go receive first aid for their cuts, giving the bisharp an incredibly wide berth.
Syn made a soft laugh, "I still can't believe you settled on Darkness as your name."
"Oh yea sure Mr Syn-ergy crystal, I was young I'd only had this body what 3 minutes when I made that choice, I'm looking into experimenting with a new name ya jerk." Her tone was easy though as he chuckled picking out a treat to try from the selection, dramatically hovering his hand above the plates twirling his finger.
"So, how do you know that other mewtwo? Didn't strike me as the type of person you'd hang out with."
Darkness took a macaron and popped it in her mouth happily enjoying the texture and flavor on her tongue with a satisfied hum before speaking with projected telepathy, "she's not, that was May she's," she paused struggling for words rolling her wrist in a few circles before uncertainly settling on, "she was my first suitable host that survived having me implanted into them, and she's the horrid creature that mutually corrupted me as I corrupted her." She made a noise, "and I suppose now in this body I'm technically her clone sibling as I had to use her genetic sequencing to create this absolute form of perfection." She gestures to herself proudly in emphasis, "I blame the unique situation of our corruption for my, difficulties now with taking over another host. Luckily this body suits me quite nicely." She shrugged casually lifting the teapot carefully with psychic energy and pouring the tea into one of the available cups, she glanced with her eyes and motioned with her head and Syn moved his cup to motion that yes he would like a cup too.
"You must be fibbing," he brought the cup to his lips to take a drink before biting into a cupcake, he continued telepathically, "she's hardly a viable host? I haven't seen her use any Psychic powers, she walks around mouth talks and carries things in her hands plus she let that Bisharp get away with bullying her, she seems too soft to survive a corruption event. And there's no way you're cloned from her, she's all small and cute looking and you're well," he gestures vaguely, "you're designer."
"Good save with that one," She chuckled "and you're telling me, I am well aware of the state of her," Darkness sighed a bit turning a cupcake between her fingers, "she's, something, she's annoying weak and placid but it took me years to wear her down enough to take over, I was implanted before she was even technically full grown or officially born. It's embarrassing to think how long she prevented me for, but I suppose admirable in a weird way. I have a bit more of an appreciation for her now that I'm, more organic, urg semantics." She bit into the cupcake aggressively with a frustrated huff at her display of emotions.
He raised a brow at her, "it took years to possess her? And what happened when you finally succeeded?" he leant his elbow on the table leaning in a bit to hear more, he was a bit surprised in all honesty wondering what that meant for the power this May had to remain herself for so long.
"When I finally was able to take control I found a strange amount of potential within her, I found when used by the right person, myself of course, she could be incredibly powerful and dangerous. She was strong and I'll admit I was shocked at how well she took hits. Though I decided partly from vainness and partly from the fact I resented her at the time that she was inadequate even with her potential and decided to find the perfect vessel which led to having to clone and make the perfect body myself. I have to do all the hard work around here." She chuckled to herself.
"I'll admit though, I do worry about what she'd be like under the effects of an unaltered synergy crystal, no ideas mister," She lazily pointed a finger at him in accusation as he put his hands up in mock surrender pondering what would happen if he extended his corruption to her.
"I can see your face thinking, it could be your funeral." Darkness shrugged idly before smiling a bit as she chuckled to herself pointing with her thumb at a different mewtwo of a red pink hue and many discoloration patterns wearing a prosthetic on one arm and using psychic energy to recreate the other to make up for not having actual arms below the elbow and higher on one arm and a more pointed tail, "it also means I'm related to that fool over there another clone not made by me, if I have to put up with them at least I get free entertainment." She laughed a bit but Syn could see a bit of softness to her as she watched the other mewtwo flirting away to some male customers.
The orange mewtwo May returned from wherever she'd gone sporting some plasters and bandages carrying trays and deliveries out to people once again. "So, that scar on her chest was-?"
"That's from me yes," Darkness casually answered before he could finish as she touched the jagged crystal growing out of her chest, "burst out of her when I finally took over, was incredibly painstaking making sure I got every piece out of her when I transfered into this form, I'm amazed I can still mega evolve with the mewtonite in such a state." She moved her tail, lifting it to show off the sharp crystal on the end like a blade, "this was all home grown however, carefully shaped and added."
"You grew synergy crystal?" Syn asked intrigued as she started to tell him about the process of successfully managing to grow and farm synergy crystal and how to encourage the crystals to grow a certain way.
Syn continued to glance over at the other customers as they discussed in lengths the process of crystal growing. He would watch the other mewtwos as well, some from many other universes arrived and he observed and mentally categorized them. Most of them looked like easy pickings, others looked like very filling meals. At some point Darkness as sneakily as possible opened a jar of gherkins, he accepted one to try in confusion to why she brought them to a sweetie café watching her bite into a cupcake and then a gherkin. He could faintly hear Pikkot in the kitchen gasp in absolute horror as though sensing someone was committing crimes against his baking as Syn could only stare in bafflement.
"Not pregnant are you, dear Darkness?" He smirked playfully in mock as he looked at her and she looked back at him, with the silence becoming just a touch deafening.
"Look-" She began before there was an incredibly loud clattering of metal trays and the scraping of a chair rapidly sliding across the floor before clattering over loudly. It distracted both the shadow Pokémon enough to look over at the drama.
The bisharp from before was stood with their table and chair thrown about and trays scattered across the floor. The red pink hued mewtwo apparently called Matt had his arms to his chest in startled protective reflex as he stood near the trouble making Pokémon.
"Look I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, that is completely unacceptable! Like look at this mess man, I'm gonna have to pick this all up!" Matt threw up his arms in an exaggerated fashion at his frustration at the mess. The Bisharp eyed Matt up as it moved slowly stalking to the side like some predator eyeing up its prey. The other customers quickly moved to be as far away as they could to be out of the danger zone.
"Woah.. Woah hey now..dont like how you're looking at me..you wouldn't attack a guy with no arms would ya?" Matt turned on his feet following the prowling Bisharp not letting it get behind him and quickly yelping as it decided to lunge with Matt promptly half throwing himself to the side out the way yelling, "NEVER MIND I GUESS YOU WOULD."
He slipped on some smooshed cake as he attempted to scramble away from the danger, Syn almost wondered if he should step in if only for the thrill of a fight. He moved to stand and felt Darkness grab his forearm with a quiet, "hold on I wanna see what happens," as he gave her a confused look wondering why she was preventing probably the only competent person from stepping in to help her supposed brother.
The Bisharp swung their arm to slash with intent to cause serious injury before it's body froze in place, a thin shimmering white outline could be seen around their body as May stepped out from the kitchen with a cold expression, her eyes completely white. Despite the psychic energy rolling off of her in waves picking up the scattered chairs and tables scooping up squished cake and generally tidying up she didn't float, her arms carefully wrapped under Matts to pull him up as he moved to very quickly duck behind his furious sister.
She looked around the restaurant scanning over to make sure that no one else was hurt and nothing else needed fixing as the Bisharp made a grunt of effort as they attempted to break free of the psychic restraint, her head snapping to look at them at the sound.
She stared at them, tail swishing up and down as the metal blade on their arm began to quietly rattle and with a crack the metal shattered and they dropped to the floor at the sudden release.
The bisharp wailed at the destruction of their blade and there was no sympathy on her face as they stumbled holding their injured arm that hung limp with the pain having more than just a damaged pride as they fled out the door. Her eyes remained aglow watching after them, undoubtedly aware that with a damaged blade the social position of that bisharp was now ruined, that they would likely lose their pack and struggle to hunt, and there was still no sympathy on her face as she blinked and her eyes returned to normal.
"Boooo you should've killed him," Darkness hollered as other customers looked at her in horror at her suggestion as she simply smirked and shrugged. May shook her head checking over her brother asking if he was hurt before sweeping up the scattered metal shards off the floor and moving to apologize to the nearby customers for the actions she just took.
"What just happened.." Syn glanced at Darkness in bewilderment but also in slight awe at the casual brutality he just witnessed.
"I told you, Mays got potential but for some reason she can use her powers to protect other people and not herself and when she does use her powers? Well you saw what happened. Again, no ideas mister I don't wanna see her as a shadow version of her."
"Of course," he spoke glancing over as May went back to work, "I wouldn't dream of it." He lied casually.
#My writing#My ocs#@Seasidemews Syn#(hope u don't mind me tagging this one didn't wanna bother ur main)#@spikyegg Pikkot#I'd like to formally apologise for Darkness committing crimes against Pikkots baking and for the fallen cakes#But the idea of Pikkot just sensing someone doing something off with his food and gasping in horror and disgust amuses me so#Me @ Syn: so you got a bad bitch already synergy corrupted but like a side flavor of synergy that probably can't sync with urs-#And she's toll (6'9) and incredibly powerful while also having higher conscious and awareness so shes got complexity#Or you've got May who's just kinda short but she could and would kill someone without hesitation if they threatened her fam#And Syn goes hmmm I want the smol one XD I can see him preferring someone he can corrupt and corrupt with his synergy#Since him and Darkness unfortunately probably can't vibe but at least she's not rival but they can banter#Mushroom really said due to reasons shadow Pokémon get to be more chill here but pokemon that are assholes are still assholes#I needed drama okay XD#So Syns a lot more chill since he's not starving for energy and Darkness is less edgy too they're just vibing ur honor#Also darkness preggo moment maybe she usually ends up with a karma kid for her crimes so she suffers with anxiety from higher consciousness#Me @ darkness bing bong get frontal lobed binch#Also Matts here for comic relief but trust me he probably tries to shoot his shot with Syn only for the rejection sorry Matt#Matt is not immune to pretty men even if evil#Syn really just shows up in my brain and I go of course sir here take a seat and eat nice food /I/ am not immune to shadow mewtwo#(also I am assume Syns more that 6'9 otherwise oops Darkness would be Toller than him but like he probably has height over her)#(and may is 5'4 so shes SMOL ur honor but absolutely would attempt to fight Syn if he was actually in their universe being a threat)#(she can and WILL bite lmao)
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erikisser · 9 months
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can't believe all my roommate's friends were so actively working against me when it came to who gets the big room with the balcony attached to it and in the end she actually got it....
#we agreed to make it fair by drawing lots for it#but i ended up suggesting to use the spinning wheel generator so that it's really up to luck#and i can't believe i shot myself in my own foot with this bc she actually got the big room#even though in the beginning of the year i asked if i could have it when the other roommate moves out#(we knew for a while that she'd move out in summer)#but then my roommate asked if we could draw lots maybe and i said yes bc i didn't wanna be an asshole 😭#but now she actually got the big room and now i kinda regret not putting my foot down and claiming it#bc on my side everyone told me i could just say that i've been in the flatshare the longest and therefore i could claim the room#but idk i wanted to be nice and look where it got me#it's not the end of the world bc my current room is still nice it's just the smallest#but i'm really complaining abt nothing ig#at least i'm saving money on rent 😅#but the big room would have been saur nice tbh....#and the fact that my windows still fave the balcony and now the roommate who constantly invites friends over has the balcony .........#you see where i'm getting at 😵‍💫#let's hope i'll get some good sleep the next few week before it's too cold to be on the balcony CJSJCHS#but yeah with her friends working against me i also mean that a lot of them smoke so apparently they told her that she should get the room#bc she smokes and has friends that smoke as if i am not worthy of a balcony bc i don't smoke like 🫠#idk i felt like i was the only nice on in the scenario who was willing to play fair even though i didn't have to and her friends were still#lowkey pissing on my leg behind my back yk#she was nice about it but her friends get the side eye from me abt the whole thing 😶#sorry for the rant#delete later#000
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dadbots · 8 months
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August… time to get spooky.
#dadbots.txt#this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes.#I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh.#idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs.#best way to describe it LOL#been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just.#where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda.#just one of those moments yknow.#it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest -#- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing.#I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it.#I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month -#and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really.#don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often#and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow.#maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year.#not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat#though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all.#won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well.#and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really?#shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year.#I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now.#let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way.#hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽
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francy-sketches · 2 years
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I get being frustrated at one out of two gay characters getting killed off after one episode but also comparing joffrey to (show) loras who was reduced to a gay joke after s2 then spent s5-6 getting hatecrimed is um. Maybe not the best idea lol
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timegears-moved · 1 year
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okay back to rejuv i don't wanna any fucking see pokeani discourse
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tardis--dreams · 1 year
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We've officially reached the 'too demotivated and drained to bother to go to class' part of the semester. Awesome
#if it wasn't for the strike I'd just go home on tuesday morning#because i don't want to miss too many korean sessions because we can't be absent more often than 4 times#but i don't plan on going to my monday and tuesday classes#and thursday is a holiday so that class is canceled and i am willing to miss wednesday's korean class if it means getting to#see my dog a day earlier#but alas i cannot#because no trains and shit#also my friend asked me if i wanted to join for drinks sometime this week(end) and i desperately need new friends#(i.e. i don't want to turn down invitations from people i don't hang out with often because i basically am getting#actively excluded from my other friends' activities (literally. if you don't want me around it's literally fine. just don't fucking act#like you do. i hate it here lmao)#no but that friend was like 'I'll always invite you' and damn i LOVE to hear it because the others apparently hate having me around#(again. fair enough. I'm not particularly outgoing or fun so i get it. i just don't want to make any effort there anymore so i kinda need#to make an effort with other people? because i really like her and all but i also don't feel like going out#and would much rather go home see my dogs- but if i turn down too many invitations she'll stop inviting me#which is only logical- idk i don't really want to have to have friends anymore#i just know life is better when i spend time with people sometimes and have someone to get through university hell with#anyway. i don't wanna go to class anymore and i really don't wanna do this degree anymore and i actually do not#want to go to korea but i have to because it's my only chance but it makes me want to kill myself but also not doing it would make me want#to kill myself so i don't really have anything going for me there#void screams
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