#its just a part of someones life

[lnkedmyheart]

This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking

"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."

Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.

I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.

He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.

He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.

Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".

He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.

Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.

In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.

But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.

Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.

And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel

Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya

But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain

Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).

Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.

This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.

(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)

So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.

Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.

(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)

Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.

#soukoku #ah my ramblings #i just really really love the light novels #i am mostly joking about the romance of it all #mostly #but Dazai cares about Chuuya and idk I think this is such an important aspect of Dazai's character #like even if you dont lile the ship its really not fair to ignore how much Dazai genuinely cared for Chuuya #not because it supports the ship but because it shows that Dazai despite his claims of being a monster was ridiculously human #he saw this boy he was fasicnated by and he said- I need to keep him as my friend #and proceeded to do it in the most unsocialized troll brained clown way #i love this boy so much #someone hug him please #dont get me wrong I dont think dazai and chuuya's relationship was super healthy but it wasnt as toxic as people make it seem either #yes Dazai desperately needed Oda and Ango but Chuuya was also and is still an important part of his life #long post #i am not going back to chexk for writing errors. I'm sleepy.

[q-u-a-rantine-high-school]

Unpopular opinion, but you should not have to tell your partner that you are trans if you've fully medically transitioned before you met. Cuz everybody's always saying trans men are man and trans women are women, bc it's true, and if that's the case, and they have fully medically transitioned and have all the parts of the gender they identify with and that their partner sees them as then it should not matter. They have always been the gender that they are now they just had different physical body parts, so it should not matter, because that's in the past now.

#im saying this cuz ive seen a couple of storied where someone doesn't know what to do bc they didnt tell their partner #in the beginning of their relationship and are in a tricky spot and instead of understanding why they didn't #people are just criticizing them and telling them its their fault and they should have told them on the first date #which by the way #could be and is extremely dangerous and could get them killed #i just think that they should be able to live their life as the gender they identify with in every part of thier life #thats all #trans #transgender #trans pride #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+ #lgbt #lgbtqia2s+ #queer

[heyitsmemel]

hi hello gals and gays. Here is a rare wav from me struggling with the flu. The virus has mainly been in my chest but my entire body is so wrecked I was able to induce super easily. No talking bc I’m literally unable to 😭 Do not listen if you can't stand harsh coughing because it gets a bit rough. If it sounds a bit weird the first half of the recording is from yesterday and the second half is from today, bc the coughing is so much worse in the second half lmao. Ok that's it thankkk you for feeding me so good lately tumblr love u all <3

also personal rant about ableism and intentional contagion in the comments :///

#ok like I haven't been this sick in literal years and cuz im disabled i'm super mindful of spreading germs to others. #and i've had some family staying with me so I was like great leave me here to rot in my cave guys #my partner has been rlly attentive and is like i don't care about germs tehe so yesterday he comes into my room #and gives me a bunch of kisses on my head then swoops in and kisses me ON THE MOUTH #like im sorry i've been lying in a pool of feverish sweat for days and can hardly breathe what part of that makes someone go ooo gimme? #like ya hes just trying to love me but i put so much effort into being clean and now i will feel really guilty when he gets sick #sorry not sorry intentional contagion is not cute or sexy at all its just irresponsible #like i would love to live the life where my body works so well that I don't give a second thought to KISSING someone with the flu #i just feel like able bodied people never think about what its like living with a disability or a chronic illness #or have the slightest inclination of how privileged they are #my partner isn't even a fetishit he is just a dumbass #but ya i just wish he and the general population would think more :/ #snzblr #snz #illness kink #snzfucker #snz wav #snzzzzz #snz blog #anyway thats all do what u want with my horn post

[drdemonprince]

your post about only communicating the minimum needed reminded me of the gricean maxims (concept in linguistics describing how people communicate)! your advice was very similar to the maxim of quantity :)

From the UPenn School of Arts & Sciences site:

Grice's Maxims

The maxim of quantity, where one tries to be as informative as one possibly can, and gives as much information as is needed, and no more.

The maxim of quality, where one tries to be truthful, and does not give information that is false or that is not supported by evidence.

The maxim of relation, where one tries to be relevant, and says things that are pertinent to the discussion.

The maxim of manner, when one tries to be as clear, as brief, and as orderly as one can in what one says, and where one avoids obscurity and ambiguity.

#yeah suffice to say many autistics would be rated by others as not adhering to these #quantity is subjective #and relation is something that we tend to think of in a different way than non autistics #speaking very broadly #we think people want to understand all the working parts surrounding a thing #whereas many non autistic people want to know just what will affect them personally #or what will make sense from their position and viewpoint #i want to see the whole forest and all the trees in it and it does help me make better decisions than most non autistics #but when i try to tell THEM about that entire system to help improve their decision making it's a lot to take in and it's not intuitive #for them to follow and they feel that a good enough decision is good enough most of the time #they dont want a perfect one because its just not efficient to live that way #which fair #but it is frustrating when im trying to help someone save a ton of money skipping an unnecessary purchase or make their life at work easier #etc #but they just dont wanna hear it #but in time one must learn boundaries and not trying to save other people or rule their lives after all

[flareboi]

what if purple never calls him dad

#what if the word ‘dad’ is something purple doesn’t like. #what if it carries a bad connotation for them and a bitter reminder for mango. #family doesnt always have to look like one thing yknow? i dont think those two would have a traditional dynamic in that way #maybe purple does consider him their parent. they just dont call him ‘dad’ unless its in third person #and theyre fine with that and so is he #king is his father figure yes but he’s also a mom. a big brother. a sister. their dynamic just isnt captured in purple calling him ‘dad’ #maybe his name is the best way they can say it. the best way they can appreciate him #because for purple a father is someone who hurts you. someone who leaves you #i think ‘purple calls him dad on accident’ is a cute idea #but honestly it would make more sense if they called him mom on accident instead. or if it happened when they were afraid. not comfortable #(this is presuming orchid is his mother and navy his father based on the pronouns used in the react vids iirc) #because why would purple refer to someone he sees as a parent with the title of the one that presumably did not raise them? #and on mangos end #i think u can kinda tell who in this fandom has never lost a loved one in how they characterize him #guys. grief doesnt leave. it never leaves. #you just learn to live with it!!! #mango is not okay just because he has a new kid to take care of. i would know this my bio mom passed and i have a stepmother!!! #she does not fill that void and i do not expect her to because it cannot be filled. but she brings a lot new to ease the pain and is a #wonderful part of my life #the same thing here #mango will never ever just .. go back to how he was #he will never be the same since gold died. and thats okay #purple will not change that. they will merely add something new #their dynamic can be beautiful and nontraditional and a showing of how grief can change you #it doesnt have to be ‘replacement dad and replacement son’ #its so much more #oke. tag rant over #fett rambles #ava #uhh should i tag the chars

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

working on the Lights Out outline is so fun because there's always a new Thought that makes things more complicated but i want to include it so. this is a hell of my own design

#every ten seconds its 'oh but what if' 'oh but what about' 'oh but' #slapping my own brain STOP IT #you see! i say that i dont take aus seriously #in a way im an Absolute Fucking Liar #yes its for funsies and its not like... That important to me #like if boundaries were updated tomorrow to say 'No Aus Allowed' #i would So easily be able to just toss it to the side and continue on with my life #BUT MY GOD IF IM NOT GONNA PUT MY WHOLE ASS INTO IT WHILE IM HAVING FUN #absolutely unprompted #part of me wants to talk to someone about it so fucking badly #to float ideas and just Blab #but no. i also really dont want to #but i do. but i dont. but it would have to be someone im already Comfy with #but even then would i I DONT KNOW #snarling and whipping this au around by the leg w/ my teeth

[wildstar25]

What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?

(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)

Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:

#ffxiv #wolship #g'raha tia #y'shtola rhul #wolgraha #wolshtola #y'shtola x wol #arsay nun #graharshtola #y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw #and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh' #her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo #i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship #someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections #its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either #just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together #or that she could at least bring some cheer to #and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it' #which arsay certainly did #i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags #so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks #graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough #to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her #to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath. #he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life #but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast #so hes trying to build her up in other ways #focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side #and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its #'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter

[lovrbooy]

i feel like i have very unpopular opinions on dennis within this fandom. i am scared of fandom spaces so. to the tags i go

#i fear that some of you see dennis reynolds in a fanon way that you have accepted as canon ... #he is not . GOOD! guys. i say this as someone who deeply relates to him #he is canonically unmedicated for bpd and i Am medicated so i feel extremely attached to the mindset he has that used to be my LIFE! #i dont believe dennis would ever willingly put himself in any sort of situation where he isnt in control or powerful. its why he creates #entire identities just to have power over women for a few weeks. he doesnt date because at some point they become powerful and he losespowe #i am certain that there are parts of his psyche that love his friends and family bc he DOES have feelings ! but i also believe its hard for #him to accept that or even think about it if he wanted to because he is so obsessed with his delusions of grandeur #i dont think love is ever something he could give to someone easily and if he did it would be a painful toxic wound #we already know this. he loves dee and they are horrible for each other. and hes worse for her whether some ppl want 2 admit it or not #dennis is my favorite character on this show and i wanna reiterate that because im scared ppl will be annoying I Dont Share my Opinions #about Media a lot even though i think Tons of them #iasip #dennis reynolds

[quietwingsinthesky]

sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.

#and also ill hit you on the head with a brick #posts that. im not going to say theyre about destiel. im not going to say that. #and im not gojng to say it because. i dont need to. you already know <3 #and to be clear: its not the interpretation thats a problem here. thats the fun of shipping. its then taking what youve interpreted and then #trying to backread that onto the media itself as intentional. as intended. #dismissing the actual themes and story for evidence of a ship is the problem. u get me? #shipping brainrot is not ‘oh i think these characters would kiss for this reason’. #its ‘this show is and has always been about these characters kissing no matter how much i have to ignore about the show to make that true or #pretend is completely different than its actually presented or straight up make things up to make my ship be a part of the intended reading’ #thats the brainrot. the brainrot is when u step off the train of reality. #this is not true about the best piece of art ever made Captain America and the Winter Soldier. btw. that movie IS about bucky and steve #kissing alsjfdjskdjg #(<- okay im being silly here but id like to make a real point here too. the thing about TWS is that. it is genuinely enhanced by a romantic #reading. its not *better* than a platonic one. its just different. being able to see it through that lens does make a lot of the original #movie’s ideas even more complex. case in point like: steve struggling with his dating life. because what shared life experience does he have #with other people who look his age. and the movie is. about. someone who has his shared life experiences. and his mission to get bucky back. #you can see how that lens would be beneficial to the original movie rather than fighting it to prove the ship works in opposition to the #author’s original intent.)

[hybbat]

You know I've had a lot of posts on my dash about Lizzie including 3 fics... And all of them are about how she is ignored for the men.

I've not seen any of the content they're complaining about, and I've not seen any of the content they're asking for...

You know you can just... make content about Lizzie. Instead of content about the lack of content. You can just draw her or write about her or make headcanons and essays about her, instead of about how there isn't any.

We get it, nobody is talking about her. So, please just actually talk about her?

#id certainly love to see it but no ody is actually talking about her in favour of complaining that nobody is talking about her #its a really weird typw of irony #seriously the first thing i saw about lizzie on my dash like an hour after episode started dropping was someone already complaining #about it being made about jimmy before id even seen any posts about jimmy #secret life spoilers #traffic spoilers #but yeah just... make stuff? instead of souring the whole thing? #im also sick of hearing about the men lizzie is ignored for... and its these exact posts that are doing it and spreading it around #instead of being upset fans of jimmy are happy his 3 year 5 season long plot has concluded #posts ill def regret when i wake up but its 4 am and im so tired of not having any positive lizzie OR jimmy content on my dash #cause people are either complaining or too scared to be percieved as Part Of The Problem to make things for the characters they care about

[abagrotiscupida]

RANT ABOUT PEOPLES WEIRD ATTITUDE ABOUT SHANE STARDEW VALLEY INCOMING!!!

saw people complaining about shane today and saying he is a bad and awful husband and they divorced him after seeing his room and that he becomes boring after he starts getting therapy because the interesting thing about him is his struggle with addiction and after you "fix him" what's the point of being with him And just?? Why?? Did you even marry him?? Like?? I dunno, people are allowed to have opinions on characters but so many peoples' opinions are just?? Really bad and rooted deeply in ableism and misconceptions about mental health/addiction and are super saviory??

I have said this a thousand times but you can't fix people. That's literally not how people work. You can, however, be there for people and try and create a safe environment for them to be able to help themselves!! AND THATS EXACTLY EHAT FUCKING HAPPEMS IN STARDEW!! Shane gets help ON HIS OWN because he is being supported by both his family and the farmer. And to see that just fucking fly over peoples heads makes me so mad because DID WE PLAY THE SAME FUCLING GAME?? YOU DONT FIX SHIT!! YOU ACT AS PART OF A SUPPORT SYSTEM!! (Which is very important but like) YOU AS A SINGULAR PERSON CANT FIX PEOPLE!!

I also just hate the "I can fix them" attitude because, at least in this specific situation, the people saying this are the same people who divorce him because his room is ugly or because he is implied to relapse and still is depressed??? It feels like the same thing as when someone has "spread kindness!" or "love each other!" in their bio and then is the most rancid hateful person ever? The room thing in particular makes me mad because LIKE WHAT DID YUOU THINK IT WAS GOING TO LOOK LIKE?? YOU SAW HIS ROOM AT MARNIE'S, WHAT MADE YOU THINK HIS ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE WAS GOING TO BE ORGANIZED AND SPOTLESS???

Idk like, again, you can dislike Shane and even regret marrying him. He's not very nice to you until you really get his hearts up there so he comes off as rude and abrasive. You don't HAVE TO LIKE HIM!! But so many people just spout hateful shit and it's like god, I hope you never have anyone in your life who suffers from mental illness because even though Shane is a video game character, the stuff you're saying and the ideas you have surrounding addiction and mental health are super toxic and weird and I hope no real person ever has to be subjected to them.

edit (put this in the tags but then wanted to add it to the main post):

#stardew shane #shane sdv #stardew valley #its like also #relapse is often a part of recovery. it doesnt mean the person has given up trying to help themselves or anything it just happens. #and people are so weird for demonizing it or chalking it up to shane not loving you or something?? #i cant speak on relapsing based in addiction but ive relapsed on other things and i know that it makes you feel so disappointed im yourself #to on top of that awful feeling have someone who you thought cared about you get mad and make your crisis all about them must be so painful #again like Shane is a character but the things he goes through are incredibly realistic and mirror a lot of peoples real life experiences s #just think before you fucking speak ig #tw: alcholism #tw: addiction #relapse mention #mental illness #rant #cupid.txt #tw: ableism #🌶️

[pansyfemme]

woke up to a transphobe attempting to misgender me and just gendering me correctly by accident. they aren’t even trying anymore

#i dont find it particuarly all that funny because its still just misguided transphobia #i dont get any pleasure about being read that way #but i do find it odd that it takes about. 0.1 seconds to deduce that info about me and yet transphobes are so dumb and so lazy they can’t #even do that. like its easy to get annoyed at this stuff and its fair to but the amount of times transphobes rely on logic that straight up #does not apply to me does make you kind of aware that its difficult to get all that hurt by someone who’s by nature ilogical and just #attempting to cause distress with very little knowledge about any part of your life

[kohakhearts]

theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh

#taylor.txt #im miserable primarily for other reasons right now but i dont think i appreciated how much this just…wouldnt feel like anything #i think especially in my case as someone who so desperately needed ‘going away to college’ to get out of my childhood situation #and now for the past 5 years everything ive done has been for the purpose of getting my degree and finishing school #like im fine i guess i just kind of wish i could feel proud of myself or happy its over instead of like dreading the ceremony and feeling #like everything i have to do for grad is just one more thing i have to check off a list. getting my grad photos done felt nice but idk #it kind of feels like no one really cares which. idk why i would expect it to NOT feel that way. but yeah #tl;dr im around Kinda…need to finish stuff up but im over the really busy part of this all. kinda just coasting to the end here tbh #when this is over i’m gonna get to my request fics. prommy. wanted to do them over the long weekend but i was sick :( #anyway like to be clear im fine. people have been pointing out today i seem down and i think embarrassingly a collection of my students #noticed me crying on the bus today but thats life i guess you make do. im sad and thats ok. tbh

[carriesthewind]

It never ceases to amaze me how shockingly cruel people are willing to be for money. Just, they get a paycheck and turn off the part of their brain that makes them see other humans as real people. Evil.

#the worst part of this goddam job #its so exhausting to have to spend so much time dealing with evil fuckers like this #especially because I can't even point out how evil they are being #because that's rude #because by the rules of my profession #treating someone like a disposable piece of trash and destroying their life is fine #but pointing out that you are treating another person like a disposable piece of trash and destroying their life #and that is a horrible evil thing to do #is over the line #and at least prosecutors pretend to believe in a greater cause #here it's literally just. profit margins

[writterings]

procastinating at work but here's my philosophy for today: it's okay to hate a behavior in someone else but also understand that this behavior does not make them a bad person. like i HATE when i'm venting or talking about a serious problem i have and then the person i'm talking to starts trying to relate by talking about a similar experience they've had. like absolutely hate it. make me feel like the focus is being taken off me and it genuinely is in some ways, regardless of your intent. yeah, i understand that's your way of trying to comfort me -- but that's not the way i need or want to be comforted, and that's what matters in a situation where i'm coming to you to be helped.

and that's okay! like. no one is in the wrong here unless i have explicitly asked you to support me in a different way and you're intentionally refusing, or if i lash out at you when i could just disengage. it just means you're not a person i should go to for help when talking about my problems. we can still be friends, you and i can probably support each other in different ways, but we're just incompatible in this regard. and that's like....okay. it's okay to be incompatible with people.

#i need to stop going on instagram sooooo many hot takes on there piss me the fuck off #ok going on a rant here but like. #soooo many 'neurodivergent' posters on there are like 'neurotypicals suck bc they dont realize im being comforting when i talk abt myself #when they're upset!!!' and its like my friend i can understand your plight but like #1. this is an easily changable behavior #that tbh does not require much change on your part aside from just like. not talking. #2. the so-called neurotypicals in ur life are allowed to have boundaries and accomodations to their needs and ur currently not doing that #3. not every neurodivergent person does that. and some also hate it like the so called neurotypicals. #4. why are you prioritizing your emotions when a loved one comes to you for help or comfort. are u just a dick. #this has nothing to do with you being neurodivergent i think you're just self centered lol #like genuinely if you do this you are not a bad person. it's not a bad thing. i thinnk im just mad at the people who insist #that it's the only way they can ever try to comfort someone and they act like asking them to change this behavior is ableist #and if they genuinely can't change this behavior then fine!! like they i wont go to you with my problems #and that's also fine #but yeah anyways these tags are so different from the message of the post lol but anyways just needed to rant

[in-the-sweet-november-rain]

--

#can someone help me feel something? #its just so hard to fucking keep going you know? #i have 0 purpose exept to be second place and watch other people succeed #no one seems to care anymore that i'm still here #and i basically not even part of my friend group anymore (i never was in the first place they just tolerated me) #like whats the fucking point? #i don't win anything- i'm not good at anything #just middling and mediocre at EVERYTHING! #and i just ant someone to want me #like theres nothing keeping me on this planet #so why stay #i try to feel something- i rly do #but i can't #the knot in my stomach keeps getting tighter and tighter until i eventually push everyone away and break and the cycle repeats #sry to be this depressing on valentines day #but idk anymore... livings hard #and i'd rather not #getting out of bed is so hard knowing no one wants to see you or here you or know you #but i have to #and life goes on #and i'm just swept with the current #because thats all i'll ever amount to <3 #i sound so ungrateful and stupid #but idk somethings obviously wrong with me and i don't know how to stop it #vick's venting again