#ive been forsaken

[cosmicvaca]

Ziyal in Her Studio

#Ive been brain rotted for the a while so her you go #trying to upload my art on this god forsaken website is a nightmare #its so blurry!! #If any of you know how to fix it please let me know #Also tell me if the image looks good here. #Anyways i have so many thoghts about Zyial #Maybe ill write something idk #Ds9 #Ziyal #tora ziyal #Star trek #My art #Adri blabs

[eggmuffinwaffles]

#trigun #vash the stampede #polygun #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #another banger from my twitter because i am self absorbed #sorry ive been so absent on tumblr gang ive been more active on twitter for some god forsaken reason

[kit-n-kamoodle]

ways to keep track of your short friends

(commission!)

#my art #world of warcraft #tauren #forsaken #it's been so long since ive drawn wow stuff this was such a nostalgic treat... :'))

[sketchyfangs]

dear flight rising-ers did u guys pick elemental flights solely based on eye color or like... actual lore?

#sketchy entries #flight rising #hopping back onto this god forsaken dragon game and questioning my life as a lightning clan #my interests need to be as far as possible from engineering. #but also i like cyan eyes and ive been here for years and im sentimental #but also thinking of being a gross rat with scabs (plague)

[lesbianjonimitchell]

omg... just sent my resignation of membership to the political party i've been a member of for more than 8 years. a third of my life. i've spent countless hours volunteering for them on the board of my hometown chapter and during election campaigns; some of my partymates are basically family. but the party on a national basis have been eerily silent on palestine. the national leader wrote a long bullshitty op-ed titled "the palestinians are suffering, the jews are suffering" in which she refused to take a stance and failed to distinguish between jews and zionists. and also spent more time condemning the crimes of hamas than the crimes of israel.

i have considered leaving the party many times over the years. the fact that they can't take a firm stance on a genocide makes it abundantly clear that i don't belong here. fucking sucks, man. im not sure where i go from here.

#ultimately i always ended up staying because the local chapter in my hometown were considerably better than the party on a national basis #and all of my homies actively dislike the leader lol #but i dont live in my hometown anymore and havent been active in the party for years; and regardless this is so black and white that i #cannot keep supporting them. end of an era. ive literally been a member since i was 15-16. so fucking disappointed in them. idk if their #silence is because theyre priming for the leader to run for prime minister now that the biggest centre-left party has forsaken the left #like the left literally had the majority and they opted to work with the centre-right instead and make a cabinet across the middle #so the leader from my party might be trying to appeal even more to the centre-left. idk. and not my party anymore but yeah #thankfully aforementioned homies have spoken out against israel! but not as much as i'd hoped #margrete auken of the european parliament youre the only one i still respect

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im still procrastinating so bear with me #ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system #bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i #moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me #like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them #like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract #and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone #surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow #i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents #like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case #its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl #bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my #skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control #and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with #the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum #its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all #still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working #sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain #works better in the early morning rip #unrelated

[leo-kinnie]

hi, are you new to tumblr?? your artstyle looks so familiar... (/j obv lol i like the new look lol)

DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE POMMIIII

#ive been forgotten.... #forsaken..... #for.....whatever #ask #slash j #THANK U BTW!!

[orbdotexe]

okay yknow what. the TFE playlist as of today. it is all over the place. i am cringe but i am free and also you should read the tags:

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead - Set It Off Ninth Life - Ivycomb Music Used To The Darkness - Des Rocs (yeah. from the trailer. shh) Heart - Fishymom Everybody Gets High - MISSIO You Can Run - Adam Jones Bury Me Low - 8 Graves Forrest Fire - AJJ All the Dead Kids - AJJ C'est La Vie - Weathers Don't Look Back/Don't Wait For Me - trashyinferno Farewell Wanderlust - The Amazing Devil Canary In a Coal Mine - The Crane Wives (PLEASE) Monster - dodie We Don't Talk About Bruno - lydia the bard Soleil - Lizz Robinett (not the original i just like her cover of it) Phantom Feelings - CJack (Wolf n Zavala. kill me) Cut My Fingers Off - Ethan Bortnick Engravings - Ethan Bortnick Between the Rains and the Times - Reverse: 1999 Gladiator - Jann You Only Know - Phemiec The Bidding - Chonny Jash (original by Tally Hall but CJ turns it into an entirely new piece of art. oh my god) OVER & OVER - Rio Romeo A Crow's Trial - Vane Castaway - Kroh Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms you smell of dead flowers - Cliesel version Rain In Soho - Mountain Goats Overgrown Garden - beetlebug

#i would like. link it or smth #but im insane and its on youtube specifically. #i can use ''i dont think some of these are on anything else'' and while true. i also wouldnt use anything else anyway #bc i. dont like the format of anything else. last time i tried to use spotify i wanted to punch a wall #orb rambles #the forsaken exile #no i dont care some of these are fandom-specific #the dsmp is like mlp to me. idc about the material but wow. the fandom songs are so good?? #you people are so insane about the story and it SHOWS and i love that. the passion that goes into these animations and songs is so clear #and makes them so so good. #the dozen extensions of Woe to the People of Order??? WOW okay. #and theyre all so good... and get better with each addon... #rn my favorite is Knight of Endale's version #anyway its 12am and i shouldnt be awake rn. if it wasnt this late i probably wouldnt have the confidence to post this #or say all of these things in the tags #sleep deprivation is fighting off the anxiety <3 #OHHH wait. okay so something funny #Woe to the People of Order was actually like apart of my first ever mention of an exile timeline #in my notes for destiny ocs/stories #it was a concept for Ruin/an early version of them. and there that song was. an inspiration for all of this #I AM STUCK IN A LOOP #it was there alongside like. Your Sister Was Right (wilbur soot) and Dear Fellow Traveler (sea wolf) #actually insane ive been stewing in this concept since. #oh god #in 7 days. it will have been 2 years. #OHHHH GOD EXILE BIRTHDAY ON THE 27TH #DERANGED DERANGED DERANGED #posting this now before i lose consciousness. oughhhh #me rn: FUCK IT WE BALL

[olicreates]

I JUST SPENT HOURS CREATING A WITNESS NAHYUTA CHAR ASSET IN OBJECTION.LOL ONLY FOR IT TO DELETE THE SECOND I CLICK SAVE. ASSGADHGHAHHAHGHAHG

#WHY HAS GOD FORSAKEN ME #I HAVE EYE STRAIN AND FOR WHAT????? #I DID THIRTY DIFFERENT POSES #AND ADJUSTED THE MILISECONDS FOR EACH ANIMATION #gonna pull a terry fawles istg #ace attorney #nahyuta sahdmadhi #yeah i tried going into my assets it just disappeared #witness yuty has been IMPOSSIBLE to find sprites for #which makes this even worse #cuz ive been RESEARCHING to make this #objection.lol #PAIN #aa:soj #ace attorney: spirit of justice #funnily enough the res on this picture is about the same as all the yuty sprites #finding HD nahyuta is impossible im glad i found witness sprites at all #only took me like five weeks. nbd

[ezlo-x]

begging for my brain to stop giving me totk dreams

This dream was basically just Link and Zelda running away from the castle or like trying to escape the castle? When you (Link) fought a monster Zelda would help you and fight along with you

The walls and floors were alive. I lost Zelda at one point idk where she went I also got this outfit disguise to traverse through the monsters and then I got squished by a wall

#this is either my 3rd/4th time dreaming abt what would happen in totk #also I think the reason why I got this was a. ive been playing albw and b #b. I played the first section of WW (the forsaken fortress) yesterday #so yeah #txt

[vzajemnik]

ngl i need to get laid soon or ill go permanently insane.

#🗞️ #soon enough its gonna be a year since ive had any action and that's so depressing just the thought alone makes me wanna die .......... #and well if getting laid just takes me going to the god forsaken tree then well. ill do it. whatever #its been well over a year since i had sex in bed or like indoors lmfao i just love that tree ❤️ so much ❤️

[ronkeyroo]

got another medical procedure in the hospital in a few days, i dont know how to feel about this anymore.

The apathy I feel every time they threaten my situation with cancer while giving zero effective treatment literally numbs my senses. Im just tired of them, im tired of this illness. i bow to nothing and to no one , but what im dealing with is far too complex to be resolved under sheer determination. i just wish i wish i didnt have to ever experience such a fucking nightmare to begin with, my heart burns with the heartache of enduring this state and what it leaves me with every single day that passes. It breaks my spirit to even dare let myself linger over how strong i used to be in the past, the countless atrocities i survived with my body shouldering through it all and yet its now when i finally left the abusive life & household i rotted in so long ago that this goddamned illness struck me.

Theres nothing i can do at the moment but allow myself any significant bit of rest and whatever self compassion i can try muster, whatever happens, ill see what ill be able to do.

#ventful howling #i want to heal. i want to heal already i want this all to be over #everything i hear from the doctors is how theres nothing i can do about it but prevent the inevitable with shit medications that dont work #ive been running on spite and self effort purely the entire time and practically going rouge but im still struggling so much #i know why i got this god forsaken illness. i know this period of my life calls me to undo the mess it manifested after what i lived through #i want to have what it takes to beat this #but for every fucks sake #i keep repeating those words in my head and making the physical steps towards any bit of recovery but #the fear is still there. and i cannot even cope with it - so i force it out under apathy. it doesnt feel right #nothing does at the moment #i just #ill stay hopeful and hope this wont cascade into the worst of it #ill share whatever update i can when those results reach my hands

[inkwell-and-dagger]

[Silence Speaks Louder.]

Synop: Madison breaks into Foster's home to rescue Rayan, but not all goes as expected. Turns out not everyone is tired when the sun goes down.

CW: home invasion ig, implied team whump, failed escape / rescue attempt, lady whump, stabbing.

—> —> —> —> —> —>

Frigid midnight air seeped into Madison's hoodie as she picked the lock in the backdoor; infinitely thankful she'd remembered how to do it from when she'd watched Vanté do the same. As she nudged it open with her shoulder, careful to make as little noise as she could, she could only pray everybody in the house — except for Rayan — was asleep.

Quickly peeking around the corner, the photographer sighed in relief when she was certain that the house was silent. Silence was good. Silence meant nobody could watch as she fetched Rayan and got out of this hellhole. Carefully slipping past the door and closing it behind her so the wind wouldn't slam it shut and alert the inhabitants, Madison winced as the floorboards creaked under her weight; her jaw set tight as she blindly made her way through the eerie, dark building. It was clean and strangely normal looking inside, but despite the serenity of each room she felt a looming sense of dread in her stomach, growing more prominent with each step. Not enough for her to change her mind and not rescue her own brother, though.

Madison looked through every room she came across, hands feeling around every drawer and cabinet, every surface, trying to find anything that gave away that Rayan hadn't been moved somewhere else. She eventually found his phone, cracked and bloodied, which was something. Stuffing it in her pocket, she made her way back into the hall and to the staircase that led to the basement.

The darkness was unsettling her by now, so she hastily sneaked down the creaking stairs. But the closer she got to the door, the more the air grew cold and the putrid smell of decay lingered around the woman more than ever. She rattled the doorknob when she was in arms length of it, only to realise it was locked.

"Crap," Madison hissed, rattling it again to make certain that it was locked and that her arms didn't just felt shaky and weak. Foot tapping on the ground nervously, she fished in her pocket for whatever lockpicking tools she'd brought with her.

But Madison's body went rigid when she heard a low chuckle from behind her. "Are you having trouble there, милый?"

Madison couldn't stifle a yelp of pain as she was pulled backwards by her hair and pressed flush against Esrana, who was suddenly holding a kitchen knife dangerously close to the older woman's throat; as expected, Madison stopped fighting against her grip. "Move a muscle and I will give you and Rayan matching neck scar." Esrana warned in a low, dangerous tone, her broken English prominent and accent strong. Pulling the knife away, she moved to unlock the door and shove Madison in. The latter whipped around after she stumbled, eyes wide before squinting as the swaying, hanging light in the room flickered on.

"Now, ah," Esrana sighed, shutting and locking the door with a grin. "What's this little intruder doing here at night, hm?"

Madison couldn't respond, too distracted staring at the trembling, curled up form of her little brother against the wall. A blanket, dried blood coating its once probably fluffy surface, was tugged tight over his shoulders, his prosthetic discarded somewhere where he couldn't reach. It's not like he could reach too much, anyway, since his wrists were bound together with rope that rubbed against his pale skin, and a short string of it came down in a noose loosely around his neck, tied to a hook attached to the ceiling. Rayan couldn't move unless he wanted to risk being choked. He looked like a trainwreck; probably why she couldn't seem to look away.

"...Maddie...?"

"Quiet, thing." Esrana snapped back, causing the poor boy to flinch away and fall silent again.

That regained Madison's attention. She glared over to the shorter woman, hands tightening into white-knuckled fists. "Listen, I don't wanna have to hurt you, kid. Let Rayan go."

Esrana just smirked. "Why should I? It is monster, for God's sake."

"No he isn't! He's trying to be better, plus the whole incident was years ago. This has gone on for too long, Esrana, just let him go. This is petty."

"Incident? It is serial killer. It ruined the lives of so many people, and you're calling the ordeal an incident as if it were all some accident?"

"He wasn't in the best mental state, but he's getting better. He's improving, but this—" She gestured broadly to the basement, shoulders tensed. "Isn't helping. Let the guy go."

"And what do you propose I do with you?" The knife pointed to Madison's chest. "I'm not letting both of you go."

"I..." Madison was stumped. On one hand, she wanted the best for her precious little brother; even at her own expense. But on the other hand, she had a wife now, not to mention she wanted to be there for Vanté, and Tadhg growing up, and to keep Zuriel and Aarin company on sleepless nights, and to welcome the newly revived Vesker back home. But...

"..Cat got your tongue?"

"I- No, just take me instead."

"What?!" Rayan exploded, voice cracking and weak. "You can't take her! I—"

"Shush!" Esrana hissed angrily through gritted teeth, and that immediately quietened the immortal down again. Raising one hand, she held it out to Madison, who reluctantly shook it. "Deal. We will keep you."

Madison was going to respond, before a sharp cry was ripped from her throat as she felt something sharp stab into her leg, piercing through the fabric of her trousers. The knife was ripped out again, and Esrana managed to hold her up against the wall as she stabbed it back into her other leg. "I'm glad it hurts, Madison." She said cheerily, relishing in the teary glare Madison gave her in response.

As soon as Esrana let her go, she sank down the wall with a whimper. She grunted as the looming figure of her captor kicked her in the ribs, clutching onto her injured side with a scowl.

As Esrana sauntered across the room and placed the bloodied kitchen knife on some sort of drawer, Madison held her distressed brother close to her chest. "We will let the creature go tomorrow," Esrana stated in an almost reluctant tone, before flashing a grin as she flicked off the light. "If we remember."

The door closed and locked within a matter of seconds, and Madison groaned in frustration as she rested her head back against the bloodied wall. She gently pulled Rayan against her chest, rubbing his arm soothingly.

"She's not gonna remember, is she...?" He managed to mumble in her ear.

No, she wanted to reply. But she just shrugged in response, biting back another pained noise as the wounds in her leg throbbed painfully. She fished in her hoodie pocket and placed Rayan's phone in his lap as she felt her consciousness slipping.

—> —> —> —> —> —>

(Vantè and Vesker both belong to @er0s-1s-whump1ng / @paranoia-exe!!!)

#its been a while since ive posted whump dear god im rusty #but woo!! them!! #rayan hyacinth #esrana flynn #madison osoro-maguire #Forsaken Souls #whump #oc whump #whump oc #whump writing #writing #oc writing #immortal whumpee #lady whump #whump prompt #failed escape attempt #multiple whumpees #whump drabble #captive whumpee #captive whump #whump stuff #whump idea #whump prompts #whump scenarios

[jewdog]

gonna be real im like At the end of my rope

#ive been stuck in my g-d forsaken mold-ridden apartment for TWO MONTHS!! #i tried to go back to work and i was somewhat ok for like 1 week #and then my symptoms 1. came back and 2. became worse #like some days i literally cant even get out of bed #i hate my job but holy fuck i hate this more #the only time i dont feel like complete and utter SHIT is when im high #so ive been spending what Tiny cash i have left over after bills on weed #and im running out of both. lol. #like everything hurts i cant eat i cant sleep i can barely keep fluids down #and ig the weed just makes everything numb. so its not better but its at least not Worse #aaaaaaaa im so tired. #drugs tw #idk ask to tag #j barks

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i dont really care about assassins creed anymore you know Ubisoft sucks ass and while the games were fun they were also pretty mediocre and *several pictures of haytham kenway fall out of my pockets* those arent mine what

#its been like. 4 years? of just. sonetimes remembering and going insane #assassins creed forsaken looms over my daily life waiting to stab me in the back #the fact that ac is one of my most written fandoms on ao3 almost exclusively being because of the several shay/haytham fics ive written #the bonus here is that i dont feel compelled to buy new games i just sometimes get the urge to replay ac3 #which i already own on two platforms so. yk. might as well. #never forget the og (middleaged mediocre father with capital i Issues) #i wonder if i can trace that trend back further than haytham & hannibal (2013) i think they might be the first instances

[watery-melon-baller]

folks tumblr has trapped me in a blue haze. please sent assitance i fear i dont have much time left

#wat the FUCK is going on man #it ust. i look away for two seconds #closing and reopening the tab does not fix it #tumblr why have you forsaken me #ive been classic tungled 😔 #lilac post