#ive been venting enough

[ace-geographer]

Well Questies a lot has happened this week, and I finally have free time, so please enjoy these long overdue Willow text post memes

Part 18/?

Credit to cap-that.com for the images (it's only just occurring to me that I haven't included a credit tag whoops)

#i love that a month ago i was like “yeah it'll just be another week before i post again” #and then just straight up didn't post anything #but im sorry for the long wait #finals was just paper after paper after exam after exam because i was taking six fucking classes #but its over now! no more all-nighters! #anyways #im not taking the news about willow too well #the emotional rollercoaster this has been is insane #i think ive vented and ranted and moped enough through tags and reblogs for now #willow 2022 #willow series #willow disney+ #willow #tanthamore #roguereaver #graylora #kit tanthalos #jade claymore #graydon hastur #thraxus boorman #venoma scorpia #elora danan #kenneth the mudmander #ruby cruz #erin kellyman #tony revolori #amar chadha patel #adwoa aboah #ellie bamber #save willow

[s0fter-sin]

the world’s nittiest nitpick but ghost doesn’t tell puns, he tells dark jokes and military humour. soap is the one that goes for the puns. ghost uses dark humour as a coping mechanism and that’s so important to who he is, don’t mistake that for just a general sense of humour

#its so dumb but it bugs me so much when people make them interchangeable #ghost isnt the one pulling out the dad jokes thats soap #soaps full of puns in the camera mission #ghost doesnt tell a single one #the closest he comes is when the marine says hope hassans still in one piece and he says several will do easier to find that way #and even then its dark humour more than a pun #its so nitpicky and im way too intense about it but his dark humour is such a big part of his personality #using dark humour as a coping mechanism is so telling about who he is and what hes been through #it bugs the hell out of me when i see him slinging puns in fics #not having a go or anything #god knows ive laughed at enough fics of him telling dumb jokes #like i said its a nitpick and i have no other way of venting #so here lmao #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #ghostsoap #soapghost #soap mactavish #soap cod #soap mw2 #cod #cod mw2 #call of duty #modern warfare #we’re a team. ghost team

[kidfoundonstreets]

#yttd maple #ask 2 tag #ive been having a very hard time with my art lately (then again art has always been tough) #so this was drawn as a stress relief + freedom to do what i wanted to draw with no rules or limitaitons or references #and i decided maple bc well depsite her being on myblogf i havent drawn her mcuh havi #sorry my wife #it isnt as a vent or anything just a concept #but at least i got some art finished #im glad for that #its just been everyutiome i open up firelaappca i do a stroke nad some things here and there #but then it just ends up with me despising my style my limited skills and the fact i cant reach what i want #which obv isnt healthy i love art #but ah. ive ranted abt it enough #i swearill terry to develop a healthier midnset soon <3 #for now take ! #gogogo

[pansyfemme]

im having anxiety so bad right now that im overwhelmed by noise but quiet is making me so paranoid i cant not have my headphones in

#ive been venting on tumblr since day one of this account but this feels different now #i dont know where to go sometimes i dont want to wake up friends or therapists or parents or even really talk one on one #i just want to speak and people to read it i guess #but ive become really obsessive about being a bad person and its ruining my life lately #there was an incident at home that made me go back into this old thought process i have #and the roomate struggles have made it worse #i feel needy and constantly needing attention and validation and it makes me sick #i want to tell people i love them constantly because i need to but then i convince myself thats also bad that must be manipulation #everytime i dislike someone they must know it and hate me and find me disgusting #im like so tired of obsessions #of not being able to hear words i cant make out without becoming obsessive about how people must be talking about me #and i hate the aftershocks of shame of assuming im even important enough to be talked about #vent tw

[adustoflove]

My life just sucks like in general. Like there are the pleasures but then the horrors start to outweigh the pleasures. I feel like I need a sign on my back that says treat gently, was very fucking abused by literally everyone so if you could not ADD to the list of treats me horribly for little to no reason that would be so great

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd vent #actually borderline #personal #and I'm trying not to take another thing personal cause she only asked me to see if I was COMFORTABLE #enough to do a tour of the kennel. but I've....been working here....for like 8 months #she told the girl im training that she wasn't sure I've ever done a tour.. #😩😭 like I've literally...URGHHHHH #iVE WORKED HERE FOR ALMOST A YEAR AND YOU THINK IVE NEVER DONE ONE???? #the girl im training went into tears laughing about it with me too like really 😩 #so insulting #ik she wasn't trying to be but damn

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3 #but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety #that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc #i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting #and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually #and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again... #so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working! #i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again... #and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it. #even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset! #my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time #and i still ran out of episodes... #i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but. #yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now #i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else #and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break #ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional #asks #anon #vent #delete later #and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people #(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly) #(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more #(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do) #(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

chat do you ever feel entirely absent from your relationships or did i miss the memo on being a person

#sorry this is the mental illness again disregard this im rambling #but. well not that ive been looking back ive always felt like this. but i always felt like i was the outsider in my ms group like #i love them dearly still and they got me through ms but like #it was always more that i was listening to them and i never got any of the jokes and they all knew each other better than they knew me #and like whenever we met up it was always me being awkward too #and then in hs it was like i was acquaintance in all of my friendships there too #because again i didnt understand anything and they were already in cliques and like. I always felt horrible bc #like you can't say no to someone youve been riding the train home with for like a month but i just never liked it #so actually thats probably on me maybe I was never open enough #aguh #even online it feels like im not providing enough of myself #aethers rants #cw vent #personal posts and stuff idk

[phantom-does-a-thing]

bleg

#delete later #venting in the tags #just ignore me im having a moment #whats even the point in writing anymore #im getting nowhere with it #I was excited to write today and work on it and now I dont even wanna touch anything ive made #theres no point becacuse whatever I write I cant actually write anything good #theres any other person that could do whatever lackluster idea I have better #im so angry and overwhelmed and I dont even want to write anymore #When people way younger than me do things so much better than I do #and ive been writing for almost 10 years and ive gotten nowhere with it #theres no point #i cant focus long enough to make anything good. everythingi s rushed otherwise I wont finish it #ill never survive trying to actually get publisjhed #because I cant do anything for longer than a day #this sucks im so angry right now and im sad and overwhelmed and I feel bad about my writing #and I want to punch something im so close to snapping right now

[falmerbrook]

How does one deal with too many ideas and not enough time (or just ability) to do them. I have so many little projects (whether they be little drawing ideas or full blown long-term fics, animations, craft projects, etc.) pattering around in my head and it's stressing me out knowing I can only pick a fraction of them to focus on

#mine #vent #this is mostly rhetorical #not tes #i have too many hobbies but the idea of having to give any of them up makes me want to cry #also my brain seems to like to jump around from idea to idea too much to stick to any one long enough #my brain and i dont get along very well #sorry for venting im just descending into a rough funk this week #ive been thinking that maybe i should just stick to animations/fic becasue they give me a clear goal to strive towards over a longer period #i have some other hang ups holding me back too but idk i dont want to clog up this post even more

[faggotslime]

having a burnout meltdown at work haha

#vent #i hate being autistic #im not built for this its so frustrating #i just want to be able to be 'normal' and regulate and just function but i cant #its not even a matter of willpower it feels like my body and my braon are giving up on me #ive been in a haze all fucking day and im dissociating so bad #i cant mask and i cant emote properly #i cant regulate myself enough to feel better because i dont have enough time to #i feel so pathetic even though i know im not #it doesnt matter in this type of society #im fortunate enough to have my license and 3 jobs but at the cost of my mental sanity #i start feeling better and by the end of the week i want to kill myself again #im aeverely dysregulated i feel like im gonna throw up i just want to fuck off in the woods #i dont wanna do this anymore #i want to be a bird and just get numed by an owl or falcon #i want to be part of the natural food chain and not forced to pander to capitalism to make scraps for the rest of my life #i never asked to be born i fucking hate it here

[ouchhq]

>:(

#i need to vent a little im sorry pls ignore this if u are bothered by my thoughts #SH tw !!!!!! #this morning i was supposed to have my weekly therapy session but i had to cancel bc my mom got covid and obviously stayed home from work #and i do online therapy and i didnt feel comfortable doing it with my mom around but i really needed to do it tbh #and then my professor replied to my email with all of the things ive been working on since august and didnt say anything about the material #he just asked to call me on the phone tomorrow and i started to spiral…. like Spiral with a capital s #even now thinking about it my stomach sinks bc i have this feeling that his feedback is going to be negative and i just know my #barely existent self esteem is going to break and idk what im gonna do with myself then #this afternoon while i was spiraling all i wanted to do was /hurt/ myself. i kept thinking that i wasnt good enough and i had done a #horrible job.. so bad that he couldnt even tell me by email but needed to do it on the phone and i felt like throwing up and i couldnt get #/​that/ thought out of my head and i could only cry #and all of this not even actually knowing what my professors feed back is going to be because this is just all in my head #but i was talking to my school friends and they were like oh its gonna be fine even if he doesnt like it u can still put the project in ur #portfolio hes not even our professor anymore and so on #and i kept saying that i knew that but i just could not handle that sort of feedback and rejection mentally #i was telling them that i knew i would crumble if i got real negative feedback and i was terrified of that and they just couldnt get it and #idk it made me feel really lonely #im a bit calmer now but i feel so depressed #i am really anticipating something that will hurt really bad

[katyspersonal]

It is always so hard to recover the default settings of my brain after someone had already fiddled with them.

I live completely settled and accepting that nothing in my life will ever get better. That Russia will just keep getting digged deeper and deeper into its grave and I'll never be able to leave it (I am poor, nor I have qualifications important enough). That I'll just die here, and alone, and unloved, and very soon after my mom passes away because I can't fully care for myself. That everything will just keep getting worse, that I'll never reach the civilized world, that I'll always struggle with money for as much as food, that nobody will want to be my family.

But I accepted it, there is no need to worry too much if nothing can be changed. So it hurts even stronger when some asshole crawls back, telling me that he can't have a future without me, how much he wants to take me out of this mess and give me better life, how he has money to buy everything he ever wanted but it all means nothing if he can't buy me gifts and see places with me and meet holidays with me. How he just wanted to have a family at last in his life and only saw me as such - not because I was the only one who would accept, but because he only liked me. Because in the end I dropped my guard and felt hope. My brain completely rebuilt my concept of life and future from "dying alone, cold, unloved and pretty soon" to imagining doing everything there is to do in life together with someone I love.

But apparently he got too scared and uncomfortable with how fixated I became on meeting irl already, since I kept asking him about it? Of course I was impatient! I could not wait to take walks in the places he showed me together, and let him teach me how to cook, and watch all the shows he wanted me to show together, and do house stuff like picking furniture, cosplaying, decorating for holidays, taking care of pets, having long talks before falling asleep etc.. Yet he thought that was cringe and it made me sound "obsessive and entitled" and he went all "woah chill, you should be more HUMBLE and grateful for the OFFER, actually I was not in my right mind when I offered you, I am not really that desperate for you so why can't you just visit me once in a while for holidays or something :)"

And I just can't rebuild myself back to how I used to be right away. The vision of a better future became so apparent, so integral for my thoughts and feelings every day, that I kind of lost the idea. Like walking out of a house only for the door to lock itself behind me, so I can't even walk back in and am stuck outside.

I feel like my life just tries to teach me that I can't be loved or wanted. Why else I keep facing betrayals? Because it should be apparent that if something sounds too good to be true - then it IS.

#/vent #personal #not the first time when someone gets weirded out by how... intense i get when i trust someone #it is hard to actually earn my trust despite me acting friendly and talkative #i am like... clinically paranoid. i am always prepared that my 'buddies' secretly hate me #or that they will leave very abruptly #thats why i become too clingy once my trust is earned - because i am so starved for feeling it #but he like... provoked it. this is different #empty promises and undecisiveness are such a turn off #sorry if this is incoherent ive been crying all day #i guess no one can handle facing the 'real' kat. even those that crawl back begging to see it. #i should just stay repressed and with my shell wearing me instead of me wearing it #look people.. just stop being too nice to me. stop acting like you really love me. #it is clear that whatever is under my shell makes everyone uncomfortable. #that i feel 'too' much and love 'too' much as soon as i feel worthy enough #i guess feeling worthless is the only way for me to not push someone away. #Youtube

[arcaneyouth]

rapidly approaching my 21st birthday is hard and weird but not for any normal reasons thats for sure

#not a vent post im just rambling in the tags #theres 4 main factors at play here. #firstly theres Society n all that telling me 21 is a Special Biethday!!! you'll be old enough to legally do adult things!!! #secondly theres the fact that i love being alive and celebrating it this shit rules like fuck yes i get to keep living hell yes #thirdly theres the fact that i kinda dont actually care. like its chill. ive reached the point where a birthday is a cute lil tradition #i dont gotta go wild with it and dont feel the need to treat it differently than any other day #but also the 4th thing which is 21 is yet another age my doctors told me id never get to see so like this is A Big One #so this is actually hard as hell because fundamentally i dont care that much n dont have strong emotions BUT FUCK DUDE WHAT IF BIG CELEBRAT #constantly sitting here going hehe yayy its my birthday soon cant wait to hang out with my friends and then go back to normal life #while also going I NEED BIG PLANS I NEED HUGE PLANS I NEED A CELEBRATION OFF THE WALLS OH FUCK OH GOD #it doesnt stop being funny. i dont even know what kind of big thing id do anyways #mom said i couldnt go to moterey bay aquarium too much money and that was my only idea #ive been thinking about this for weeks and have come up with 0 other plans #'we gotta do a huge party' ok then come up with one then dumbass #oh noooo guess ill have a nice time at home just like any other day oh nooooo #guess my 21st birthday will be unspecial. darn. anyways

[wickershells]

god i feel so stupid all the time like i am far too unintelligent for every discussion i have and i am such a crybaby over it. people mildly and fairly correct me or word something much more eloquently and concise and beautiful than i ever could or even just read something id been meaning to for a long time and instantly i spiral into self-worthlessness. and years ago this feeling motivated me into reading more, researching more, writing more etc. so that i was always aspiring to level with people & be an equal but now i feel paralysed by it!!! all i want to do is curl up into a ball and weep and never talk to anyone ever again. am i destined forever to be a small vulnerable wounded child. who is just so so so dumb. how do i get over this

#i know i just have to wrestle and kick my way back to how it used to be where i power through the feeling and better myself #but it is just so hard when i constantly feel inferior in every way. i think my problem is that ive felt this way for so long that it has #kinda broke me and now all i think is “what's the point? everyone is always gonna be smarter than me so what's the point?” #might as well starve myself of conversation because i am never going to feel adequate enough to be having them. it is so weird #and the ferocity is rooted in all my other mental baggage i think. constantly looking for reasons i shouldnt be here and this just gets #added to the list. especially doesnt help when i am convinced my friends dont like me and would rather be talking to anyone else. man #this feeling is truly getting unbearable ive never felt so insecure and inferior in terms of my intelligence in my entire life. and its #been pretty bad before! what do i do what do i do what do i do. ughhhhhhhhhhh #it adds to my persistent feeling of stagnancy. everyone gets better everyone gets smarter everyone moves forward and i am here #vent #mine

[anonbinaryweirdo]

"you can't be double standard 😒😒🙄🙄🙄"

—my mother

#same person who “idm if other people are gay/trans‚ its not my place to judge #thats gods place and his alone” #but 🤨 #“my children will NOT be gay/trans. it is a sin. god made adam and eve not adam and steve !!!!!!! #the GENDER god gave you at birth i what you should be grateful enough to stick with. you're a FEMALE !!!“ #mom #mom i got some bad news for you 😔 #this isn't really a vent I'm over her tomfoolery by now i just heard her on the phone saying this #and went 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 #im gonna come out to her by #when i move out‚ imma way a couple of weeks #then hit her up like “mom‚ ive been apart of the lgbtqia+ community since i wad like eleven or twelve” #then not pick up my phone for a few months #she dont got no car how she gonna come to college and confront me 🥱🥱🥱🥱 #mom im GAY #oli rambles #unrelated but HELP MY SISYER FELL ON THE FLOOR LMAOAOAOAOAO