Tumgik
#not the first time when someone gets weirded out by how... intense i get when i trust someone
katyspersonal · 8 months
Text
It is always so hard to recover the default settings of my brain after someone had already fiddled with them.
I live completely settled and accepting that nothing in my life will ever get better. That Russia will just keep getting digged deeper and deeper into its grave and I'll never be able to leave it (I am poor, nor I have qualifications important enough). That I'll just die here, and alone, and unloved, and very soon after my mom passes away because I can't fully care for myself. That everything will just keep getting worse, that I'll never reach the civilized world, that I'll always struggle with money for as much as food, that nobody will want to be my family.
But I accepted it, there is no need to worry too much if nothing can be changed. So it hurts even stronger when some asshole crawls back, telling me that he can't have a future without me, how much he wants to take me out of this mess and give me better life, how he has money to buy everything he ever wanted but it all means nothing if he can't buy me gifts and see places with me and meet holidays with me. How he just wanted to have a family at last in his life and only saw me as such - not because I was the only one who would accept, but because he only liked me. Because in the end I dropped my guard and felt hope. My brain completely rebuilt my concept of life and future from "dying alone, cold, unloved and pretty soon" to imagining doing everything there is to do in life together with someone I love.
But apparently he got too scared and uncomfortable with how fixated I became on meeting irl already, since I kept asking him about it? Of course I was impatient! I could not wait to take walks in the places he showed me together, and let him teach me how to cook, and watch all the shows he wanted me to show together, and do house stuff like picking furniture, cosplaying, decorating for holidays, taking care of pets, having long talks before falling asleep etc.. Yet he thought that was cringe and it made me sound "obsessive and entitled" and he went all "woah chill, you should be more HUMBLE and grateful for the OFFER, actually I was not in my right mind when I offered you, I am not really that desperate for you so why can't you just visit me once in a while for holidays or something :)"
youtube
And I just can't rebuild myself back to how I used to be right away. The vision of a better future became so apparent, so integral for my thoughts and feelings every day, that I kind of lost the idea. Like walking out of a house only for the door to lock itself behind me, so I can't even walk back in and am stuck outside.
I feel like my life just tries to teach me that I can't be loved or wanted. Why else I keep facing betrayals? Because it should be apparent that if something sounds too good to be true - then it IS.
13 notes · View notes
knaveofmogadore · 1 month
Text
Hang..
#ran out of tags on the other post but I've got so manynof these#was best friends with a pair of roommates who became so intensely codependent that they both had breakdowns when the other studied abroad#a guy who had siblings regularly terrorized my friend who also had siblings with the corpse of a roachnfor over a year (roommates)#ive known ONE situation where the only chold terrorized an apartment of sibling people. but that's because they were all poc and she was#insanely racist. like so racist that MY little pale jewish ass got weird vibes from her on first contact#learned some good lessons from roommates but none of them are things I'd be able to explain to a kid#except maybe 'if you get the feeling someone's mad at you all the time but won't tell you for some reason just move out'#oh! my friend had a partner who was a terror of a roommate. as in she psychologically terrorized my friend and their roommates#once listened in on a convo that went 'i shouldnt have to warn people I'm walking into an apartment I PAY FOR just because they want a date#oh also @ my niblings sometimes situations are unwinable before you even get there. sometimes people just make up their minds about you#and you just gotta deal with the consequences of that decision. if you're in an unwinnable social situation just hit the bricks#you can't fix something that isn't functionally broken and it puts you in situations where every choice is wrong#living with people who grew up with fucked up sibling relationships created a lot of '0 good dialogue options' situations#cant leave the living room because then they asked for something and got it and that's shameful. can't sit in the living room. they want it.#again i could have been a way better roommate. for a multitude of reasons some under my control some not. but lord in heaven#but having siblings does NOT socialize you to live with other adults i hate that myth every situation I've lived in has proved it wrong#NONE OF US had any clue how to live with people who weren't our relatives#and this will happen to you. you will move out and realize the extent of your habits cause most people's parents just tolerate stuff#or your parents just got used to things that would drive other adults insane and they don't notice the things you do cause they're your kid#(or they might have even taught you those habits/level of cleanliness themselves)#one dude at the boarding house got mad about being asked to have basic responsibility for his room. so he left it covered in trash#and when they went to clean it it was covered in a fine layer of mold on almost every surface. genuine biohazard scene#got hit with 'youre the only person i don't regret letting into my house' from the woman we paid rent to when i moved out#and I'm like gee the bar is in hell 😭
0 notes
arachine · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
yes, i'm ready (to fall in love)
Tumblr media
── ˚₊✩‧₊ genre: smut, fluff, mild angst
── ˚₊✩‧₊ synopsis: after reader is persuaded into putting herself back out there by long time friend, shoko, she successfully ends up scoring a date. unbeknownst to her, though, the gods have different plans—and one of them seems especially interested in her relationship with ex-husband, gojo satoru.
or in other words: a failed date results in a night of passion amongst former lovers.
── ˚₊✩‧₊ contents: 13.5k words, ex-husband!gojo + co-parent!gojo, slight dub-con (alcohol use), dumbification, overstimulation, vaginal penetration, unconventional form of contraception (pull-out method - don’t do this), pussy eating + one oc for the sake of plot
── ˚₊✩‧₊ note: i know this is really long and most people don’t have the attention span for it but PLEASE give it a chance! this is literally the longest piece of fiction i’ve ever written and i’m really proud of it :(
songs to listen to for best reading experience: donny hathaway - i love you more than you’ll ever know barbara mason - i’m ready partynextdoor - showing you bryson tiller - been that way
Tumblr media
After you divorced your ex-husband, and decided to devote all of your time to being a mother, you never really considered getting back into the dating world. Not that you didn’t eventually want to settle down with someone new, but the dating world now was just so–different.
Different in the sense that meeting people organically was becoming increasingly difficult. It wasn’t like how it used to be in high school or college, and it really didn’t take that much effort then to get a man’s number by the end of your outing. 
When you were in your early twenties, a brush of your hand on a man’s arm would’ve worked. An ‘accidental’ bump into someone at a grocery store or cafe might’ve ended in a quick lay. Using these tactics today, though, might earn you some weird looks–have–earned you some weird looks. 
You’re on call with a friend from college when you begin recounting something embarrassing that happened to you recently. At first, the conversation started out about all of the professors you would’ve slept with (if given the chance), but then, one thing led to another, and she asked you something that made you wince: 
“‘How’s your dating life been since, you know, Satoru?’” 
There’s a heavy silence from your end, and she almost thinks you hung up. 
“I mean, if you want to share,” she splurts, attempting to approach this gently, “I know that after the divorce, I wasn’t there for you like you needed, but I’d like to make up for that–if you’d let me.”
Shoko’s always been like that. Blunt and charismatic, but gentle and zephyr-light in the way she cares for those closest to her. It’s a trait of hers that you admire, because not so many people would care to treat your heart with such fragility.
“No, it’s okay. You can ask, you know, it’s not this secret thing,” you start, sighing before continuing, “it happened, and it was a mutual decision.”
Shoko hums on the other side, “Well, I’m still sorry. I let us go without talking for far too long…”
“Well, I accept your apology, even if it’s unwarranted. Like I said, it was mutual and…there wasn’t really an intense grieving period for me? The only thing that hurt me is that you distanced yourself. I mean, the girls did miss their aunt Shoko…” you say, trying to make her feel bad but not too bad. 
“I know, I know, I’m a bad aunt,” she jests, then the tone shifts to something serious. “I think I was just scared because both of you were my best-friends. I didn’t want to ‘pick sides’, but I see now that it was a mutual decision, so I’m assuming you two are on good-terms?” 
Again, you pause, “I mean, yeah. Satoru will always be my best friend. We may not be together romantically but he’s such an integral part of my life, I couldn’t do this–all of this–alone.” After you say it, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest that you didn’t know was even there. 
You think nobody would understand if you told them this. You think they’d question how a person could divorce someone who’s supposed to be their best-friend. And with the way you describe it, they’d probably think you were still in love with him. But Shoko’s different, she gets it. Which is why saying it to her came so easily. 
“He is a great father,” she chimes in, “but you two rushed into it so quickly, I don’t think either of you had time to discover yourselves after college.”
Although she can’t see it, you smile. Because she gets it. Even if time did place itself in between the two of you, she was there for most of it, when things were still touch-and-go. When things were fresh, and clumsy. 
“Exactly, that was our biggest gripe,” you admit, “We didn’t afford ourselves that time to grow, and I think that hindered our relationship. We weren’t husband and wife first, we were parents–and we were young, way too young.”
“You made it, though,” Shoko tries to brighten the mood, “you’re both amazing parents, and I know those beautiful girls that you created are lucky to have you.” 
The intimacy of the conversation sends your emotions into overdrive. You quickly realize how much you missed her, how much you yearned to talk to her. To reconnect on this level. 
A single tear cascades down your cheek, and you try not to sound like you’re crying when you say, “Ok, enough about that. You wanted to know about my shitty dating life, right?”
Tumblr media
It happened last week, the grocery store incident. You were out picking up a few things for dinner when you spotted a cute guy standing outside of the aisle a few rows from you. He was fit beyond measure, in looks and strength, and was wandering around aimlessly in pursuit of red pepper flakes. 
Coincidentally, you just happened to be in the seasoning aisle, and like the good samaritan you were, decided to personally hand-deliver it to him. 
You wince as you vividly recall the embarrassing ordeal that ensued immediately after. 
“Hey,” you peer from behind the aisle, with a bottle of red pepper flakes in tow. “I heard you mumbling about finding this, and you looked pretty lost, so I thought I’d pick ‘em out for you.” 
The man’s brows furrow briefly before his lips up-turn into a grateful smile, “Oh, cool, thank you so much!” As quickly as the conversation started, it ends even quicker. He gives you a final nod of endearment before he’s turning around on his heels to resume his shopping. 
“God, could he be any more dense? The men today really make you work for it, huh?” you mumble to yourself, pulling the bosom of your blouse down until a good amount of cleavage is on display. “Okay, alright. You got this, you got this. This always used to work, right? Yeah, men love boobs.”
Walking up to the man again, you try a different approach–a bolder approach. “Not to be a bother but I was wondering if I could-”
“Babe? Oh, there you are,” a new voice interjects. The owner of the voice emerges from around the corner and walks up to the man with a cart and a baby in tow. You’re stunned, to say the least. All you can do is stand there and blink in complete and utter dumbfoundment. As you remain in their presence, you take a moment to analyze the woman. She’s gorgeous, and toned. A real model-type broad, with feline-ish features that make so much sense paired with the man who appears to be her partner. 
Oh, you think, and apparently say aloud, too. That’s when the woman turns to you, finally acknowledging your much smaller, and much quieter presence. 
“Hi, can we help you?” she smiles, and it’s actually genuine. Toothy and perfect, and totally not jealous. You blink once, twice, before gathering your wits to answer her question. 
“Yeah, uh, no. I actually, uhm, was helping your h-husband. He was looking for red pepper flakes,” you mutter embarrassedly, and point to the bottle in his hand. Upon further observation, you notice that she isn’t exactly wearing a ring. You find this odd, especially because his not wearing a ring is what encouraged you to pursue him. Carefully, you prod. 
“If I may ask, how come neither of you are wearing rings?” The couple gives each other a look, one that makes you feel like the odd man out. A look that is universally known, and without a doubt, could easily be translated to: ‘did this chick really just ask that?’
Still, you smile as you wait for an answer. The woman takes the initiative. “Yeah, we don’t really believe in rings, isn’t that right, babe?” she says so matter-of-factly. You blink again for what seems like the thousandth time, because of all things, you did not expect that to come out of her mouth. Her husband is quick to validate her statement. 
“Yeah, we think rings are unnecessary, you know? You don’t need a piece of metal to confirm your feelings,” he says walking to his partner’s side and wrapping an arm around her. 
Disgustingly, the two give each other googly eyes before locking lips briefly. You can tell they’re the type to probably share this information with just about any soul who asks. Today, you just happened to be that unfortunate soul. 
“Are you married?” she queries, tilting her head against her husband’s chest.
“I was, now we just…co-parent,” you purse your lips, ready for this entire interaction to be over. The woman frowns at your answer, and this time it’s not as genuine.
“Awe, well, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It was actually a mutual decision,” you quip.
“Okay,” she smiles, widening her eyes at her husband to signal a departure, “well, it was nice meeting you, and thank you for the red pepper flakes.”
The family turns away and heads to the front where check-out is. You don’t even buy the items you intended to purchase, just leave your cart in the middle of whatever aisle you abandoned it and leave the store.
Tumblr media
“Oh, baby, you didn’t?” Shoko asks in horror. You nod your head, still forgetting she can’t see you and the way you’re sliding down against the wall. 
“I did, and I shan't ever again,” a laugh erupts from your throat. 
“I mean, fuck, are we getting old? ‘Don’t believe in rings,’” she mumbles, “Don’t believe in rings, my ass! Is this what the youth are doing these days? Not proposing with rings?”
Now that you think about it, you wonder how that would even work. “Yeah, right? I mean, how does that even work? ‘Will you marry me? But, actually, you should know I don’t have a ring for you, so people will have to guess that we’re together purely based on vibes and energy,’” you mock, in a not-so-great man voice. 
Shoko’s laughing so hard by the end of your bit that she breaks the sound barrier, and the sound that makes on the phone sends you into your own fit of laughter. You laugh so hard it seems like a stream of pee comes out. Curse your developed incontinence after motherhood.
“God, you’re so stupid, I can’t breathe,” she says exasperatedly, and you know that on the other side she’s probably keeling over in her bed. 
“Oh, please. I bet you haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, bitch.”
“I haven’t,” she cackles. This back-and-forth continues until the two of you settle down enough to continue discussing your (pee-inducing) love life. 
“You tried any dating apps?” 
It’s a simple and valid question, but it only makes you laugh even harder. You only stop when the other side of the line goes quiet. “Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. It’s what everyone’s doing these days! You’re not that old, you know.”
“Shut up,” you kid, “ it’s just that I never considered it. I mean, dating apps feel so impersonal. How serious do people even take it?” 
“Sure, there’s people who use it for casual hook-ups and stuff, but a lot of people do come out of it with a relationship. Just don’t knock it ‘till you try it.”
“Oh?” you muse, curious. You wish Shoko could see your face, and the weird little dance your brows were doing. “Shoko, have you used a dating app before?” 
The brunette kisses her teeth. “Can’t get anything past you.”
“Never.”
There’s a sense of hesitance but you encourage her to elaborate because ‘she became estranged from you for almost a decade and needed to pay her dues’. Sighing defeatedly, she eventually acquiesces. 
“Fine, fine, maybe I’ve…been on a few dates,” she starts, “–and had a few one night stands, maybe more than a few, and maybe even dated a guy that turned into my stalker–”
“Ieiri Shoko! You naughty, naughty girl! Wait, stalker?”
“To make a long story short, I got a restraining order on that creep. Anyway,” she segues, attempting to change the subject, “We should make you a profile!”
For the rest of your phone call, Shoko guides you through all of the dating app basics. She offers her expert advice as you scroll through your camera roll for potential photos to use. You go through about a hundred before you finally settle on five that she really likes. 
The one that she tells you to put first is a photo of you in a bikini. It’s a few years old but she says you look ‘radiant’ and that your ‘tits were practically spilling out of the cups’. Plus, for further consolation, she says most people on dating apps are liars. 
“Everyone’s got at least one old photo on their profile, doesn’t make you a catfish,” she quips, “just means you’re a nostalgic person!” 
“Right…” 
The next one is a selfie. You’re smiling big in it, showing your gums, and it’s genuine. Shoko says guys like those types of photos because it shows them that you’re approachable. It also won her over because it’s fairly recent, too. 
Out of all your photos, there’s only a select few that were taken within the year. You had to admit to her that you never really took photos of yourself anymore. Satoru took most of your candids. Still, she had a mission. And she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she stuck around to see your first match. 
“After the selfie you should put the one of you with the girls.”
The picture she’s referring to is one Satoru also took. You remember that day fondly, and even now, the memories feel like a warm embrace. 
about 8 years ago . . .
“Dad, mom, look! Hurry!” Hana, your oldest, shouts. Satoru and you are sitting on a blanket up on the sand dunes with Haruki, who’s trying her best to make a sand castle–to no avail. 
“What is it, hon?” Satoru and you rush over to her, snatching toddler Haruki in the same breath. When you get to the scene, a flood of warmth washes over you upon discovering the ‘threat’. 
“See, it’s baby turtles!” Hana’s squatting in the sand, watching with pure and unfettered fascination as the hatchlings crawl north to the ocean. When she looks up at you, with eyes so bright, and a smile so big that’s missing two of her front teeth, you want to cry. 
“Oh, hon, that’s beautiful,” you gasp, lowering to your haunches so that you can join her. Satoru is about to follow suit before deciding at the last minute to go back to the blanket. When he returns, he snaps a picture unbeknownst to you. Eventually, though, you turn your gaze to him and he captures–what he used to think then–the ‘prettiest’ photo of you.
“You sneaking photos of me?” you squint, pointing at him. He trods closer until he’s standing above you. Then he snaps another. Your head’s tilted up, and you’ve got one eye open, and the other closed because of the sun. He always liked when you squinted like that because it made your nose do this cute little scrunch. 
“Yup, ‘cause you’re my muse.”
You’re pulled out of your daydream when Shoko says your name on the other line.
“You still there?” 
“Yeah, it’s just…”
“Just what?” she queries, waiting for a response. 
“I wanna use it, but my ex-husband took it. It feels weird, you know? And do I want to use a photo of me with the girls?”
“Hon, who cares if Satoru took the photo? It’s still a good photo, and to answer your second question, why wouldn’t you include a picture with your girls?”
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just afraid no one will be interested. Nothing about a picture of a mom with her two daughters exactly screams ‘fuck me’.”
Shoko lets out a small chuckle but you’re being serious. “Oh, sweetie. You’re so cute. Milfs are in these days, I don’t think I’m the one getting old, I think it’s just you!”
“Ha-ha, laugh at the mom,” you feign annoyance, but give her a laugh in return.
“But seriously, please use that photo. Nobody���s going to skip you just because you’re a mom. A lot of men on there have kids of their own, just gotta tweak your settings,” Shoko reassures you.
By the end of your call, the profile is set. You thank your old friend for the previous heart-to-heart conversation, and the time she spent helping you set up your profile.
“Keep me updated, and don’t talk about mom stuff, okay? Now, I’m not saying you can’t talk about them,” she begins, “but show these guys your personality! I know she’s in the closet somewhere hiding next to our old slutty clubbing clothes.”  
Then, the both of you say your goodbyes and she wishes you a good-luck on your newly established dating journey. As you lay in your bed, you give your profile a final onceover. Not too bad, you think to yourself. 
You ended up using all of the photos she had originally picked out for you. Even the beach photo. To compensate for your old photos, though, Shoko made sure that your prompts were witty and full of personality. 
“I’d match me, I think. No, yeah, these are funny. She did a good job.”
Tumblr media
The following day, you open your phone to fifty notifications from the dating app. A tingle of excitement shoots through your body from the tip of your toes, to the top of your head. It takes all of your might not to squeal in the office. 
“Holy fuck,” you whisper at your desk. The amount of notifications that you initially saw on your homescreen read ‘50’ but when you opened the app, it showed you an overwhelming ‘100’ with a fat plus sign next to it. “Wait, are these all the people who liked me? Shoko’s gonna flip.” 
Getting up from your chair, you make a beeline to the nearest bathroom. Not that you have to use it, but so you can scroll through all the potential prospects without your boss seeing you on your phone. 
Pulling open the door to the bathroom, you close it shut behind you and lock it. A few minutes pass in the time you’re able to get through about half of the people who liked you. You end up skipping a lot of them. They’re either too young, too self-absorbed, creepy, or just downright not your type. 
Some stick out, though. Even trick you into thinking they’re potential matches, but then the other shoe drops–because there’s always another shoe. You’ll scroll through their profiles, and they’ll seemingly have all the perfect traits: intelligent, witty, handsome, tall–and then, boom. You see their ‘don’t want kids’ preference. Every failed match only discourages you more and more. 
It’s weird, because your profile preferences are set to ‘have kids’ and you even have a photo pictured with your girls. So why are men liking your profile despite that? After a few more scrolls, you’re just about ready to head back to your desk but then–you have a hit. 
Your finger hovers over the ‘x’ at the bottom of the screen, then retracts. The guy’s profile at first impression is miles better than the rest, it’s almost too good to be true. His first photo is what piqued your interest. It’s of him posing for a silly photo with his sons, and he’s got his arms draped around their shoulders. 
As you scroll down his profile, you see that there’s even more of him with his children. You take this as a green flag. He wants people to know he has kids, and that he isn’t embarrassed to show them off. You admire him for it. 
The last few remaining photos are an amalgamation of selfies and full-body photos. To the average, well-adjusted adult, looks wouldn’t be a deal breaker. But he definitely wasn’t too bad on the eyes, and you were not complaining about that–especially, after the odd men you had to scroll through to get here. In other words, he was gorgeous and still fit despite being older than you (him, respectively being in his early forties). 
Checking the time on your phone, you realize that you’re pushing your little ‘bathroom break’. Before heading back to your desk, you decide to respond to his first photo.
You: Cute! Could never get my girls to stand so still for a photo like this now haha :)
Tumblr media
Work goes by slower than you’d like, but finishes up just in time when you get a notification from the dating app. You’re a little more excited than you’d care to admit. Tidying up your workspace, you say your goodbyes to your colleagues and head to the elevator. Absent-mindedly, you rush to answer his message but realize it won’t go through because of the elevator’s poor service.
Kazuki: Oh, they’re moody and grown now, don’t be fooled. I can't remember the last time I saw my youngest smile. 
You don’t answer his reply until you get home. Actually, you do just about everything but answer his reply: check on the girls, shower, prepare dinner, pour a glass of wine–you’re nervous, and you don’t know why. But you know you should probably answer soon before he becomes disinterested. So you get comfortable in bed with your glass of wine and pull open his chat.
You: Lol, know that all too well. Kids are little assholes, aren’t they?
The speed in which he reads your text is startling, you don’t even have enough time to close out of the chat. Then, he responds. 
Kazuki: Hell yeah they are! 
Kazuki: Sometimes I want to strangle my youngest. He’s at that age where he’s starting to rebel and question everything. I told him he was supposed to be the ‘easy’ one, but his knucklehead brothers are bad influences on him…Tell me, does it ever get easier?
You: Sounds a lot like my oldest. She used to cling to me like a koala but now she’s the ring leader, and I’m the enemy. My youngest still loves her mama, though (for now lol). 
You: And to answer your question, I’d like to think so? 
You take a second before continuing your response. Shoko told you to keep the mom talk limited, but this seems to be working for you so far, and he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say. So for once, you’re going to ignore her advice. 
You: Kids go through phases. It's our job to reassure them that we’re not going anywhere. No matter how much they push us away or try to, that is :)
Kazuki’s chat bubbles pop up, then disappear. You think he’s deciding on what to say. 
Kazuki: I can tell we’re gonna get along great. It’s nice opening up like this, you know? Talking to another parent. If I'm being honest, dating apps have always intimidated me…
Kazuki: People see kids as ‘baggage’, and it really bothers me. My kids aren’t baggage. They’re the best parts of me. And if someone doesn’t see that, then we have no business getting to know each other. 
Kazuki: Sorry for getting all sappy. Just felt like I needed to say it. 
His apology makes you frown. It feels like a breath of fresh air to hear someone talk about their kids so lovingly, because you feel the exact same way. You’re glad you downloaded the app, and you make a mental note to thank Shoko again later (after you debrief her about this). 
You: Never apologize for speaking about your kids! And if we’re being absolutely transparent, that was my biggest gripe with downloading this app, too. 
You: I’m so glad we matched each other. I’d like to get to know you more. And I’m hoping the feeling’s mutual?
Kazuki: It’s more than mutual. 
Kazuki: Don’t want to get ahead of myself but how do you feel about dinner? There’s a cool high-scale restaurant in the city that I haven’t been to yet. Heard it’s got two Michelin stars despite opening up not too long ago. 
The prospect of going on a sit-down dinner date has your stomach in knots. It’s been a hot minute since the last time you’ve done so, but you’re eager to know the man behind the screen on a more personal level. Plus, being treated to a high-scale restaurant with two Michelin stars doesn’t seem too bad either. You’re never one to turn down free dinner.
You: I’d love to, but how soon we talkin’? Gotta see if it’ll align with my schedule.
Kazuki: How’s this Friday at 8 sound? :)
Tumblr media
The days leading up to Friday breeze by in a blur. For the majority of the week, it feels like you’re walking on cloud nine. Eventually, the conversation transitions from the dating app to exchanging phone numbers, and since then, the two of you have been texting back-and-forth everyday.
You talk about mundane things. Work, shows, movies, books you’ve recently read, what your kids are up to–but the other things? The other messages are flirty, and sexy, and filled with so much tension that it could cut a rope in half. 
In between messages, the two of you have also exchanged a few photos. Nothing risqué or anything of that nature, just random photos of you throughout the day. The last one he sent was a few hours ago of him at work, captioned with: ‘Could this meeting be any longer?’. 
You reply to the message with the ‘ha ha’ reaction, in consideration of not wanting to get him in trouble at work (even if he was the one who initiated the conversation). As the days go by, though, you make it a habit to update Shoko every step of the way. 
Her first reaction to hearing about him was enthusiastic. That is, until you showed her screenshots from his profile. You vaguely remember her saying something that was meant as a compliment, but came out more like an insult. 
“‘Oh, he’s a dad!” was her initial response, “oh, he’s a dad…and he really loves his kids. You’re meant for each other.’” 
When you tried to ask her what she meant by that, she changed the subject. Every update since then has earned slightly more positive reactions, though.
Today, you ask her for more advice. Only this time, you’re on video call. 
“Shokoooo,” you drawl, “our date is tomorrow! You have to help me find something to wear.” The panic in your voice is so palpable, she can almost feel your shaky hands through the screen. Flipping the camera, you hurriedly pan your phone around the closet. 
“Breathe, girl, breathe,” she demonstrates first, before telling you to repeat the same motions. “Take me to that section over there–no, not that one–wait, yep, there.” You amble over to the area she’s directing you to through the phone.
“What’s that black little number right there?” She points. You prop the phone up on a shelf and scour through the section, tugging out a dress you haven’t seen in ages (which has you questioning how she even spotted it because it was pretty far back into the closet). Walking back into frame, you hold the fabric up to your body. 
Shoko nods in approval, “That’s the one, babe. Try it on!” 
It’d been about a decade since the last time you wore this dress. It’d also been about a decade since you were ever this small. Looking in the mirror, you run your hands over every surface inch, every crevice of the dress, in a newfound sense of appreciation for the adult weight you’ve gained since becoming a mother. 
The dress was always stunning but it hugged everything perfectly even more so now. When you walk back into frame, your friend gives you a look of pure adoration. She’s so enthralled that she snaps a few screenshots for keepsaking. 
“Thank god it’s Satoru’s turn to get the kids tonight,” she says, “‘cause you’re definitely getting some tonight.” 
You roll your eyes, reminding her she’s on speaker phone. “Oh, please. It’s just dinner!”
“Not in that dress,” she retorts, wagging her finger in the camera. While the two of you continue to chat about the details of tonight, a knock on your bedroom door draws your attention. 
“Mom, can I come in?” the voice sounds. It’s Haruki. 
“Come in, hon!” 
After you give the ok, you turn to Shoko and mouth to her to behave. Haruki turns the knob and enters, closing the door behind her. She sees you standing in front of the mirror before you see her, and silently utters a ‘wow’. You’re just about done putting your earrings in when you join her in the other room. 
“What do you think, bun? Does your mom look hot?” you spin around, smoothing your hands down the length of the dress. You wait in anticipation for her approval, because if anyone could tell it like it is, it was always going to be a kid. Your Haruki was no exception. 
“You look really pretty, Mom. I’m glad you’re going out tonight, I mean, you don’t really have friends so I think this will be good for you,” she elaborates, though you wish she would’ve stopped at the compliment. 
Still, it puts a smile on your face to hear her verbalize that she’s okay with you doing something for yourself. You never quite discussed the prospect of getting back out there with your kids–and not even intentionally. It just never felt like the right time. 
“You could’ve stopped at the compliment, punk!” you grab her, then wrap her in your arms, “but thank you. Love you, bun.”
“Love you more, mama.” Neither of you make the effort to pull away. Instead, you both stand there. Hugging, breathing, embracing each other’s warmth. You don’t always get hugs this good, so when you do, you savor it. Drag it out until your arms and legs get all tingly. 
Or until someone interrupts. Another knock on the door. This time it’s Hana. 
“Ew, what’s going on?” Hana feigns a look of disgust. You know she’s just jealous; she’ll never admit it, though. Which is why sometimes you have to force her to participate. 
“Get over here,” you scrunch your nose, forcefully pulling her into your tight embrace. She tries to protest but eventually accepts defeat. You squeeze them both until they whine that they can’t breathe anymore. Then you squeeze them some more because this one’s for you. 
“My special girls,” you breathe in, taking in all of their love. Soaking it all up so that tonight you have the courage to try again. To allow yourself a love of your own. When you let go, there’s a sniffle from the closet. It totally dawned on you that Shoko was still on the phone. 
“They’re so big now, they don’t even know their auntie,” she fakes a sob, blowing her nose into a tissue. 
“Mom, who’s on the phone?” Haruki queries with a confused expression etched onto her face. It suddenly dawns on you again that although you’ve been communicating with Shoko again, you haven’t exactly told them. 
“Hey, you came in here to tell me something right, Han?” Your attempt to change the subject is poorly done, which doesn’t come as a surprise to you considering deflection has never quite been an ability you excelled at. Nonetheless, the look of suspicion they give you after is fleeting before they explain to you in unison that their father is here. 
“Your father’s been waiting down there this whole time and nobody cared to tell me?” you whisper-yell, left eye twitching to emphasize your ill-preparedness. The girls only shrug their shoulders in response, like this was something you were just supposed to know. 
“Well, you did force us into a hug and make us do all that Kumbaya stuff,” Hana mumbles under her breath.
“Okay, enough about all that. Are you guys all packed? Where are your bags? I don’t want your dad seeing–” 
“You don’t want dad to see your date, right?” Hana raises a brow, all knowing. Sometimes she was a little too smart for her own good. You want to blame that on the private schools Satoru had them enrolled in, but really you just know she’s just a menace in her own right. She learned that from him. 
“I agree with the kid,” a voice chimes in. You rush to the closet and grab your phone from the shelf. There’s a huge, shit-eating grin on Shoko’s face. Somehow she’s responsible for this. You don’t know how yet, nor do you have proof, but you know it. 
“Okay, thank you, love you, bye!” Before you can hang up, Shoko blurts something. 
“Tell him I said hi,” she begins, “–andnottogetahardonwhenheseesyou!”
You hang up the call and roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself because of her idiocy. When you enter the corridor, you hear a faint sound of hushed voices from downstairs. It’s only when you round the bannister at the top, when those voices become discernible and louder. 
You stop at the top, and when your eyes meet his, it feels like all the air in your lungs have expelled. Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of what you’re wearing, and the fabric, and the way it clings to your body. Neither he, nor you, look away–you should, you want to, but you don’t. 
And in the time the two of you gaze upon the other, time stops for a modicum of a second. In this second, you and him are the last two souls in the world. At least, that’s how it feels anyway before he breaks eye contact. 
You shift your gaze shortly after, and put on a trained smile. Those eyes of his were always so intense. You guess you forgot over the years how easy it was to lose yourself in the crystalline pools of them. Gathering your wits, you resume your movements and saunter down the imperial staircase. 
“Hey, didn’t mean to keep you waiting. Sort of lost track of time, but I think the girls are all packed,” you say, your voice coming to a decrescendo upon noticing the way his eyes trail over your frame. They’re unreadable, though. Indifferent, and honestly, you’re not sure how to feel. So, you begin fidgeting uncomfortably with the rings around your finger. 
Then, he smiles. It’s eerie and fake. “Not a problem, I haven’t been here too long. But, uh,” he begins ambling around the place, touching random objects around the living room, “Didn’t know you had plans. What’s the occasion? Going out for drinks with your colleagues?” 
You furrow your brows, confused with his sudden interests in your plans. It wasn’t really like him to prod. “No, actually,” you rock back-and-forth on the balls of your heels, “i’m…i’m going on a date,” you finish with a pursed smile. He only nods his head in response, still walking around the place touching stuff, messing with the picture frames on the mantle. They’re all crooked now. 
“How come this is the only picture you have up of me,” he asks suddenly. You know, that he knows, the answer to that. And he knows, that you know, you’ll indulge in his games anyway. 
“The girls wanted them in their rooms. Why do you ask? You want me to go grab them and put ‘em all up around the house?” Again, he doesn’t say anything. Just gives you a final once over before heading back to the foyer to ask if the girls are all set to go. 
“Yeah, but I can’t find my tablet, dad. Can I go look for it?” Haruki speaks up. “I thought I packed it.”
Satoru looks at the time on his watch, pinches the crease in between his brows. “Sure, kiddo. Can we make it quick, please?” He throws his hand in the air for emphasis, then points to his watch. Haruki nods, then runs up the stairs. 
“Actually, you go on up too and help your sister. You guys are holding up dad,” you turn to Hana and gesture for her to head up with your head. She rolls her eyes, yelling up the stairs for her younger sister to ‘freaking hurry up’. 
You and Satoru both turn to each other with wide eyes, laughing at the nerve of those children. 
“They get that attitude from you, you know,” you point to him, driving your index finger into his bicep. 
“You sure? Their mom’s got a pretty bad mouth on her, too. Or, have you forgotten?” He teases, bending his knees slightly to level his eyes with yours, intruding into your space. The smirk he dons is cheeky, too friendly–too inviting. You want to smack it off of him. 
“Oh, shut u–” the sound of your phone chiming interrupts your banter. It’s a message from Kazuki, and you open it while Satoru stands over you. Probably close enough to read the message on his own if he wanted. 
Kazuki: Hey, I hate to do this but I don’t think I can go through with tonight. 
When you read the message, your heart drops into your stomach. There goes the other shoe, you think, fully embracing your pessimism. Who were you kidding, really? To think that tonight you’d go out and have a good time. Do something for yourself. It was stupidity. 
Chat bubbles pop up on the screen. He has more to say. 
He has more to say, and you’re fighting the urge to cry–to not shake out of sheer frustration while you’re still standing in front of Satoru. Because nothing would be worse than him seeing you can’t even land a date. 
Kazuki: I recently just went through a divorce, and I know that I should have informed you about this before continuing our conversations…Especially since you’ve been so transparent with me about your own divorce and strife.
Kazuki: But if I’m being completely honest, I was scared. I genuinely wanted to see this through, at first. I wanted to forget about my ex-wife for just one night. But I realized I’ve been asking the impossible of myself…I’m still in love with her, and it’s because I’m in love with her that I won’t allow myself to lead you on any further. 
Kazuki: I think we would’ve had a good time tonight. It's unfortunate we had to meet under such circumstances because you’re a really lovely woman, and I’m sorry an asshole is standing you up right now. 
Kazuki: Take care. I know there’s a guy out there just waiting for his shot. 
Satoru takes notice of the way your face drops as you read over the messages. Part of him wants to overstep his boundaries and take a peek at the screen. But he doesn’t. He gives you your space and takes a seat on the couch, waits for you to say something first. 
In the meantime, he studies your face. Watches intently as your eyes become glossy the more you scan the messages, watches as your bottom lip catches between your teeth to hold back from crying. He thinks he knows what just happened. 
Taking a deep breath, you lock your phone and put on another trained smile, “Well, looks like I’m staying in tonight.” Satoru dislikes when you do that. When you put on a fake smile and overcompensate to make others around you feel better, even when it’s so very obvious you aren’t. He wishes that sometimes you would just be selfish–act out. 
And then you continue the façade. It makes his skin itch. 
“I was too tired anyway, guess I can just catch up o–”
“Will you stop,” he spits, rising from his seat on the couch to stand. It comes out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t regret it. You look at him like he’s got two heads as he walks over to the mantle and leans against it. His back is turned towards you, and the palms of his hands hold the crest of it. He uses it as leverage to rock on the heels of his feet. You can tell there’s something he wants to say because of the way his jaw ticks. 
Satoru is never one to bite his tongue, so you’re not exactly sure why he’s choosing to be so restrained. If he wasn’t going to spit it out, you were going to poke. “What’s your problem?” 
He chuckles at this, rubs his chin then pushes off the mantle to stand in front of you, gets all in your space again. The movement almost sends you back but you hold your ground, tilt your chin up at him and repeat the question. Slowly, this time with more venom. 
“My problem? What’s your problem?” He breathes through his nose, his eyes flickering back-and-forth between your own. “Why do you always pretend like you’re not lonely? It’s okay if you were looking forward to having fun tonight. It’s okay to be upset and be mad at the asshole who stood you up!”
With every verbal prod at you, the gap between you decreases. His feet inch closer and closer to your own and force you to retreat farther until your back hits the wall. The coldness of it causes your breath to hitch, and you try to stay calm as Satoru encroaches more into your personal space. Being on the receiving end of his passion was always suffocating, you feel exposed under the intensity of his gaze–even more so as he continues to tear into you. 
“Why do you even care?!” you cut him off, eyes wide and veins pumping full of adrenaline. “It’s not your place to be so invested in my life anymore! We’re not together, you don’t have to get so hot and bothered about things going shitty for me. I’m a big girl, and I’m perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.” 
By the time you finish, you’re a heaving, shaking mess. He takes this as a sign to withdraw from your space, and goes to sit back down on the couch. When you finally settle your nerves, you join him, leaving a foot of space in between you. There’s an awkward silence, one that wouldn’t have even happened if he just respected your boundaries in the first place. Now he feels like the asshole instead of the actual asshole who dumped you. Taking a hesitant breath, he decides to speak up. 
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t…It wasn’t my intention to come off so strong like that,” he begins, “I just wanted to let you know that you don’t always have to pretend to be fine. It’s not fair, you shouldn’t do that to yourself.” His eyes wander over to you reluctantly, like he’s scared that if he looks too long you’ll disengage from the conversation. 
“It’s okay,” your voice is small, just above a whisper. You want to face him, but you know that if you do, you'll break into a million pieces. So you keep your gaze downward, busy yourself with the stray pieces of thread on the bottom of your dress. “You’re right, you know. I think I just…I think I just tell myself to expect disappointment so that when something bad happens, I’ll know it’s not because I got my hopes up.” 
Satoru turns to you, and you can see him frown through your peripheral. Still, you don’t face him because you’re not done talking. But you thank him silently for listening without interrupting. 
“Even though you’re right, I don’t appreciate the way you came on so strongly. We’re not married anymore, we’re not a couple–we’re co-parents. So if there’s something I want you to know about that’s outside of the scope of our kids, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, leave it alone.”
Satoru’s face softens. For once you’re being selfish, putting your foot down. This is the side of you he likes. “Okay. I respect that,” he says, “But can I ask you something?” The smile on his face is mirthful, like he’s got something else up his sleeves this evening. Skeptical, you finally face him with a raised brow. 
“What?”
“Let me take you to dinner.” 
You laugh in his face, even go as far as smacking his arm because you want him to know you found the joke really funny. He doesn’t budge, and that’s when you realize he’s being serious. 
“Wait, what?” 
“Let’s go to dinner,” he stands up, crossing his arms across his chest. You tilt your head in disbelief. You’re just waiting for someone to tell you you’re on that old reality show punk’d. 
“Funny, I just poured my heart out to you and now you’re making fun of me,” you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance. 
“I’m being serious,” he reassures, “you’re already dressed up. It’d be a shame for it to go to waste.” His eyes are twinkling with hope, and once again, you find yourself falling victim to their persuasiveness. 
Being under Gojo Satoru’s gaze was suffocating. 
Giving in, you ask, “So what are you gonna do? Drive all the way home to get dressed?” 
The question is genuine, but the bastard just grins. “I’m a little hurt,” he throws a hand over his heart, “don’t you know me by now? I’m a businessman. I keep pressed blazers and slacks on me at all times.”
He swings his keys around his index finger, hoping that the promise of a spare change of clothes being in his car is enough to convince you to say yes. 
“I don’t know…” you trail. 
“C’mon, let me take you out. I promise you won’t regret it.”
Tumblr media
Somehow he was able to persuade you into going out. After he changed into his spare clothes, you ended up telling your girls that there was gonna be a change of plans, and that they’d go home with their dad tomorrow. 
Of course, before leaving, you made sure to leave some money on the table for pizza, and you also made sure to drill into their heads not to open the door for anyone except the delivery guy. You knew they knew the drill already, but it didn’t feel right to leave without saying it anyway. 
“Be good, listen to your sister, she’s in charge,” you pinch Haruki’s cheek. Hana smirks, nodding her head in agreement with you. 
“I will mom, I know,” she huffs, crossing her arms.
“And you,” your finger wags at Hana, her smirk drops. “Don’t provoke your sister, be nice. Act like you love each other, please.” 
“Fine, whatever. I guess,” she grabs the knob to the door, ready to kick the both of you out already. “So does this mean the two of you are back together, or?” 
Satoru and you turn to each other before answering in unison, “No.” 
“Okay, cool. Well, have fun,” she practically closes the door on the two of you, locking it after. Satoru is just as dumbfounded as you are, but then you break into a fit of laughter. 
“Those kids, man.”
“Your kids!” you correct, pushing him playfully as the both of you walk down the pebbled pathway. He finds his equilibrium in time to unlock the car and open your side of the door. You pause before ducking inside.
“Oh, how gentlemanly of you,” you jest, “And they say chivalry is dead.”
“How could it be when I’m alive?” He says matter-of-factly, closing your side of the door. He taps the top of the car before sliding across the hood to the other side. Nice to see some things never changed. 
When he gets inside and turns on the car, he puts his hand on the back of your seat to back out. The proximity sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to physically refrain from letting your eyes linger on his jaw, and his arms, and the face he makes when he’s trying to concentrate. 
You try to dispel these less-than-friendly thoughts by looking somewhere, anywhere else but him. But you can’t, and it’s irritating. 
This is the second time tonight you’ve been this close, and it’s only this time that you realize something about him is…different. Earlier, he didn’t really smell like anything, but you quickly notice his smell has changed. 
There’s a sort of piney scent coming from him. It’s not strong or obnoxious enough to blind your nostrils, but it’s enough for you to just barely pick up on it. You almost think it was premeditated, that he took the liberty of spritzing some on before walking you to the car. Before you separated, he’d made it a habit to wear variations of woody scents for you. If you can recall correctly, a passing comment you made about the cologne he was wearing that day is what sparked the habit. 
Surely, this couldn’t be coincidental? 
“You smell nice,” you blurt, filling in the silence. 
Satoru glances at you, “Thank you.” You hate that from the corner of your eye, you can see his stupid little smirk growing bigger by the minute. He already had a big ego, it didn’t need to be stroked any more. 
“Don’t let it go to your head, though. You usually smell pretty rank.”
“Ohhh, is that so? Guess I gotta start wearing this more often then, huh?”
“Sure, do what you want,” you say, trying to remain indifferent even though you’re failing terribly to hide your smile. When the car approaches a red light, you finally decide to ask the big question. “So where are you taking me?” 
“You’ll see,” he glances over, “Just know I’m good friends with the owner, so last minute reservations weren't a problem.” 
The rest of the car ride is silent, save for the low hum of the music playing on the radio. When you arrive at the location, Satoru makes sure to walk all the way around to your side of the door again and open it. Immediately after, the two of you are greeted by a young male. He’s wearing a white button down, black slacks, and a black vest with a red tie. Judging by his appearance, you assume he’s a valet driver. 
Satoru drops his keys in the driver’s hands, and escorts you towards the entrance. The boy bows and goes to park the car. Looking around, you start to wonder where exactly this place is supposed to be. The area is dark and secluded, and from where you stand outside, it doesn’t sound like there’s supposed to be a restaurant here. You don’t hear any voices, you don’t even see any security or other passerbyers. 
Still, you follow behind him like a duckling, only coming to a halt when he leads you to a door taller than the both of you. He gestures for you to back up, then raises his knuckles to blow a strong, single knock. You’re taken by surprise when a set of angry eyes appear behind a slot in the door. 
The pair of eyes first scan over you, then Satoru. A gruff voice is second to accompany them, “Where can I get a good drink?” 
“I heard the bar down the street is nice,” Satoru answers. The hatch to the door closes, then swings open the door, and the man behind it moves aside to welcome you in.
“Follow me, please.” Once he closes the door, he begins guiding you down the dimly lit hallway. After making what seems like your hundredth turn, you eventually reach a staircase. The man gestures for you to go on ahead, and you think this is him implying where the three of you will depart.
“Thank you,” you say softly, disappearing down the stairs. Satoru isn’t too far behind, keeping a pace between you. As you near the end of the long, narrow hallway, a stream of white light brightens up your whole path. It leads you down to another door like a beacon of light, and when you reach it, you can hear voices, live music, and dishes clanking on the other side. It’s bustling with life. A huge, joyous smile plasters across your face. It’s almost child-like in appearance, like you haven’t seen something this cool in a long time. 
Satoru stands beside you and winks. “What d’ya think? Any idea yet where we are?” 
“I think this is fucking cool, and hm,” you take a second to mull it over, “are we at a speakeasy?” 
“Smart girl. Now come on.” Stepping back, you allow him to pull open the door, and when he does, there isn’t a word to describe the atmosphere of the place you step into. All you can do is stand there in astonishment. Before long, a man walks up to you. 
“Welcome, what is the name you reserved under?” 
“Gojo.”
Nodding, the host instructs you to follow after him. He leads you to a private seating area, somewhere far in the back that’s secluded from the other patrons. The space is much bigger, and much more extravagant. You know you’re only sitting way back here because Satoru is who he is. And in all the years you’ve known him, his connections were just another party trick in his arsenal. 
The hostess seats you, then Satoru, and tells you that a waiter will be with you shortly. 
“This is nice, really nice, but is it–”
“Legal?” he finishes your sentence, “don’t worry. It’s a modern speakeasy-style restaurant. There’s nothing illegal going on here, promise.” 
While you wait for your designated waiter, your focus shifts from the man in front of you to the man singing on the stage. Up until now, his voice was white noise in the background, but then he started singing a tune scarily reminiscent of your past–and your breath catches in your throat. 
If I ever leave you, baby
You can say I told you so
And if I ever hurt you
You know, I hurt myself…
Turning your gaze back to Satoru, you squint your eyes mirthfully in disbelief. You wonder if this is just a funny coincidence, if this is the universe playing her tricks, but you know deep down, that coincidences and Gojo Satoru don’t belong in the same sentence. 
You open your mouth to speak, but quickly close it when you see the waiter approaching from the corner of your eye. He greets the both of you with a polite smile, then sets down two glasses of water. 
“Good evening, I’ll be your waiter for the night,” he says, placing a menu in front of you, “Can I get you fine folks started off with a bottle of wine?” 
Satoru nods, tells him to bring the best bottle of red they have and then gestures for him to come closer so that he can whisper something in his ear. All the while, you sit back in your seat observing, clicking your nails on the table until the server pulls back and bows. 
When he departs, you immediately lean in over the table, and ask, “Just how much time did you have to plan all of this?” 
Satoru feigns aloofness, taking a sip of his water, “What do you mean?” 
You roll your eyes, gesturing at the stage with your eyes. Then, as if suddenly coming to a realization, he goes, “Oh, that? Yeah, I had nothing to do with that. But isn’t it funny they’re playing our old song?” 
Now he’s smirking, with his elbow leaning back on the chair, and a gaze so piercing, you’re certain you’ll crumble into nothing unless you look away. So you do, avert your gaze back to the stage and sway calmly. 
Is that any way for a man to carry on
Do you think I want my loved one gone
Said I love you
More than you’ll ever know
More than you’ll ever know
“So funny,” you counter. 
Eventually, the server comes back with a bottle. “1982 Chateau Latife Rothschild,” he holds it out to present, “Is this alright?” 
Despite the years spent with Satoru, and the many elitist events you often attended with him, your knowledge on wine had never surpassed anything but surface level. You knew the difference between good wine and cheap wine was the taste, but your taste buds had grown accustomed to store-bought, so if anything, store-bought tasted like heaven to you. Anyway, though, you nod your head and urge him to pour a glass. 
“Thank you,” you smile, before gently swirling the glass and bringing it up to your nose to smell (something you only know to do after being the odd man out at so many company banquets). Satoru waits for you to sip your glass before he sips his. The way you melt into your seat is a silent assurance that you’re pleased. 
“This is great, you’re amazing,” you tell the server, who seems pleased by your compliment. 
“Glad to be of service, miss. Are you ready to order?” 
Tumblr media
Dinner goes by smoothly. In fact, it goes by so smoothly, you and Satoru finish the entire bottle of wine. Now you sit at the table, bellies full, faces flushed and sore from laughing, and now you find yourself telling him about the grocery store incident. If you had half a mind (a sober one), you’d shut up right this second to save yourself from the embarrassment. But you don’t. And Satoru’s very persuasive when you’re tipsy. 
“Keep going,” he leans in, hand nestled under his chin. He’s completely invested in the story. Actually, as soon as he heard the words ‘store’ and ‘cute guy’, he just had to know more. And you begging him to change the subject didn’t help, not when the sadist in him loved to see you so embarrassed. 
“Fine,” you hiccup, “It was so - so bad, Toru.” He doesn’t miss the way you slip and call him by the nickname you’d always reserved for him. It makes his heart race, and god, does he miss the way it sounds spilling from your lips. But he ignores the feeling, and refocuses on your story instead. Which, by the way, was proving to be a task in itself because his eyes couldn’t stop drifting back down to your lips. So soft, so–
“And then she said ‘we don’t believe in rings,’” you whisper, fist coming down on the table. The sound it makes nearly sobers you up, and you realize just how loud you’re being despite your table being secluded from others. Giggling like a kid, you continue, “I mean, how fucking insane is that?!” 
“Something as bizarre as that could only ever happen to you,” he replies, laughing along with you, “those people were crazy.” 
“The craziest,” you agree, throwing your head back in another fit of laughter. Gradually, the two of you begin to settle down, and once again, you find your attention being drawn back to the man on the stage. Only this time, he’s making an announcement.
“Good evening ladies and gentleman. Tonight I’ve got a special request,” he says, looking out into the audience. Looking at you. “This one’s for a very special lady who, from what I’ve been told, is a great mother that needs to start doing things for herself.” 
The singer steps out of the spotlight and hands the note to a server. Your server. Then he begins to sing, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. It was your wedding song. 
[...] I don’t even know how to love you
Just the way you want me to
But I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
Yes, I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
“Now this one? This one was me,” Satoru leans forward, and you swiftly turn your head to face him. He smiles as he watches your face go through ten different emotions before ultimately softening. It warms your heart to see how incredibly planned this evening was, despite the amount of time he was given to work with. Even so, it kind of scares you–because then that meant this was a grand gesture–that this was his way of saying something. And you weren’t too sure if you wanted to hear it. Your gaze drops to your lap, and Satoru frowns. 
To fall in love 
To fall in love
To fall in love with you…
“Look at me,” he says softly, but you don’t. “Hey, look at me.” He reaches over the table to take your chin in between his fingers. The touch alone feels electric. Sends liquid hot lightning down the column of your spine. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, and like always, it’s suffocating. They’re so wide with hope, and so, so gentle in the way they hold you. The longer you gaze upon them, the more you convince yourself it’ll be okay if you surrender to them. 
“It’s been years since we’ve divorced,” his voice is shaky, almost strained, like he’s actively thinking how to choose his words carefully, “and when we sat down that night, I thought it was what I wanted, too, you know? And for a while, it was,” he reaches a hand across the table to rest atop your own, “but you gotta know…you gotta know–you’re it for me. There’s no one else on this Earth that I want to start over with. You’ve always been the beginning and end of my story, and I’ll be damned if I let another man start one with you.”
Your heart is beating faster than you can even process what he’s saying. The only thing you’re focused on is not passing out in the middle of this damn restaurant. But then he’s squeezing your hand, and your focus is drawn back to those piercing, pale blues that even put crystals to shame. 
“So what do you say?” he says, so softly, so tender. “Can we try again?”
Waiting for your reply, he squeezes your hand again. It’s like your soul is wandering the line between death and the living, and his touch is the tether that brings you back. In the background, the tune of the song sung at your wedding gives you a push of courage. 
I don’t even know how to kiss your lips (kiss your lips)
At a moment like this
But I’m going to learn how to do 
All the things you want me to
Yes, I’m ready
(Are you ready?) Yes, I’m ready
To fall in love
To fall in love
To fall in love right now
“Yes.”
Tumblr media
The walk back to the car is hurried. Aided by both, years and years of built up tension, and the liquid courage currently bubbling in your systems. 
The race back to his apartment is even faster. You thank the gods silently that it’s within close proximity to where you just were. 
Once you get there, make your way past the doorman and concierge (who both give the two of you a knowing look), go up the elevator, and finally get into his loft–it’s over. Years of restraint, years of pretending, wanting–yearning, come crashing down. 
There’s barely any time to close the door before he’s pushing you against it. His lips trail down the column of your neck, then come up to kiss your jaw, until eventually, they find your lips. And when they do, it’s instantaneous–that familiar feeling, the feeling that feels almost like falling. 
Once again, for what felt like centuries, you feel again the rush of helplessness. The push and pull of the tide. It brings you down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean floor, and it’s unmerciful. 
Kissing Satoru is like being shocked with ten thousand volts of energy. Like all this time you’ve spent not kissing him, has been costing you your life, and he’s the only one who can deliver you salvation. It’s all teeth and tongue for a minute. Messy, and sticky, and nasty. A true testament to the desperation brewing in the pits of both your stomachs. 
The sensation of it all has your knees going slack, and that’s when he says–
“Jump.” 
Obeying, you do just that. Jump right into his arms, and wrap your legs around his torso like you’ve done so many times before. The way you feel now is the way you used to feel before then, too. Like you were made to fit like this. To be held in his arms like you were molded from the same clay. 
Carefully, he adjusts his grip on your body. Keeps his palms planted on the bottoms of your ass, and begins the trek to his room. He struggles a bit getting there because you haven’t stopped kissing since entering the apartment, but he figures it out after a stumble or two (which resulted in a bitten lip and you apologizing profusely through giggles). 
“The turbulence up here is crazy, don’t blame me, blame the pilot,” you jest, kissing down his neck to make up for it. 
“I’ll make sure to let him know,” he jokes back. As soon as he gets to the bed, he sets you down at the edge of the bed. You try to bring him down to your height but he stops you, wags his finger in your face playfully before using it to push you back into the bed. His fingers start to play with the fabric of your dress, and then his face takes on an indifferent expression. The same one from earlier that night when he first saw you walking down the stairs. 
“Can’t believe you were gonna wear this for him…” he trails, lifting the fabric up slowly, eyeing you while doing so, “as if this dress doesn’t mean something.” 
Of course, when Shoko chose it, its significance did make you falter–but in your defense, not once did you ever anticipate for him to see you in it. And you especially didn’t expect for him to remember it, the last time you wore it was almost a decade ago. 
“I didn’t…” you start, a smile creeping on your lips, “think you remembered?”
“‘Course I did, how could I not?” He says more sharply than intended, taking offense. He takes offense because he spent the better half of the night showing you he remembered. The little things and everything else in between. Couldn’t you see that?
“It was our 4th anniversary. Bought you this dress and fucked you in it that same night. Funny how the second time I’m seeing you in this dress, the circumstances are the same except only this time we’re divorced,” he says, crawling over your body. “Guess I gotta show you just how much I remember.” 
With that, he slips a hand under your dress, pulls your panties to the side and runs a finger down your slit. Oh-so-willingly, do you spread your legs for him. It’s almost subconscious, the way your body responds to him. And he revels in it. Lets his fingers work you, feel you, bring you to ecstasy. Then he heightens your pleasure tenfold when he kisses his way down your body, and takes a seat before you on his knees. 
Unceremoniously, he pulls your body to the edge of the bed. Takes his time slipping your panties down the length of your legs, then kisses the insides of your thighs, before finally stopping at your mound. 
Slowly, he lowers himself to your cunt, kisses your clit softly. Once, twice, three times. The pace in which he’s moving is killing you, to say the least. But you know he’s savoring the moment, making up for all the years he spent not kneeling like this between your legs. So you let him; let him caress you all over before he comes seeking the honey-sweet salvation dripping from your core. 
The second his tongue makes contact with your heat, you find yourself clamping a heavy hand over your mouth. “Fuck, Toruuuu,” you drawl, back arching off the bed. Pleased with his abilities, he smiles smugly, using this as an opportunity to push himself even deeper. Up and down, he licks at your slit, uses his fingers in tandem with his tongue to prod at that spongy spot he knows you love. 
“Tastes,” a harsh suck, “so good,” another, “better than I remember.” 
You know he’s talking, but his words fall on deaf ears. You’re so caught up in your own high, you don’t even take notice of the obscene sloshing sounds coming from your pussy, or the moans you’re making. All you can do is lay there and take it as he takes, and takes, and takes from you. 
Soon, you find your orgasm cutting through you like a knife, and you come with a strangled cry that has you biting back tears. Satoru talks you through the whole thing. He lays his head down on your thigh and continues working you with his fingers until you start to shake from the overstimulation. 
For a few, you lay and stare at the ceiling. You think you can see the Milky Way–and all the constellations that make it up. It feels like your soul is floating beyond your physical body, and you don’t come back down to Earth until a sharp, stinging sensation brings you back. Did he just?
“Did you just bite me?” you lift your head, peering down to see the evidence. In all its glory, there it was; a red ring smack-dab in the inside of your thigh with teeth imprints. Looking at Satoru, he grins. 
“Had to get you back from earlier,” he says, sitting back on his knees. You attempt to kick him with your foot, but he grabs hold of it. Pretending to be wounded, he gasps, “Is this how you treat the man who just gave you a soul-shattering orgasm?” 
You roll your eyes, but to your dismay, it only encourages him to continue. 
“Fuck, Toru,” he mimics, “oh my god, Toru. You fuck me so goo–”
“Alright, enough!” you manage to kick him this time, laughing as you bring up your hands to cover your face. “Keep carrying on like that and I won’t let you fuck me…” You’re serious in your bite, but he’s smirking. Like he knows you’re full of bullshit. 
“Yeah right. You and I both know I make you feel too good.” 
Feeling bested, you scoff, though, there’s no real weight behind it. While he begins to remove his shirt, you sit up and replace his hands. He relinquishes control and allows you to unbutton it until the item falls haphazardly to the floor. 
He’s so beautiful, you think. Still so chiseled, so perfect after all these years since you’ve last seen him like this. At his most vulnerable. The only difference now is that there are more freckles littered across his skin. Back then, he’d say they were signs of aging, and he’d hate them. 
But he’s older now. More mature. So much so that he even winks at you when you trace your fingertips over them.
“They suit you,” you whisper. 
“Yeah?”
You nod your head, “mhm.” 
Continuing your ministrations, you begin removing his belt. He holds your gaze the entire time it takes for you to unzip his pants and pull them down–and he doesn’t once shy away when you discover the wet spot on the front of his briefs. Slowly, delicately, you remove the soiled item and let it fall down to the floor with the rest of his clothes. 
Still looking at him, you take hold of his length and fist him once, twice, experimentally. A dribble of pre oozes from his slit and you bring it to your mouth. All the air in his lungs expel into the air when you lick it off with your tongue, and god, he thinks he could come from that alone. 
God, he’s missed you. Missed your touch, your lips–the way you hold him with your eyes like he’s something worth being gentle with. Nothing could ever compare to you, not even his own hand. 
As soon as you’re about to take him in your mouth, he stops you. Pushes you back down onto the bed and slots himself between your legs. “No more playing, I’m tired of playing,” he breathes, lowering himself down until half of his weight is on top of you. 
Guiding his cock to your entrance, he pushes past your folds with little resistance. The feeling of your cunt squeezing him in has his arms wobbling like jelly, but he musters enough strength somehow to stay up. You, on the other hand, are close to tears. 
The more he eases himself in, the more you feel like you’re being stretched open (despite him previously prepping you). If you were being truthful, this wasn’t a complete shock to you. You’ve known that he’s always been big, but something about tonight feels different. Or maybe it’s just been too long since you’ve had something more than just your own fingers. 
Even so, you try your best to ignore the burn of the stretch. You throw your arms around his neck and invite him deeper into you, hooking your legs around him so tightly that it renders his limbs useless. For a minute, all you can feel is the weight of him inside of you, and his chest against yours as they rise and fall asynchronously. 
“Toru,” your voice is just barely above a whisper, but enough to make the hairs on the nape of his neck stand. “Make love to me.” 
Heeding your request, he begins moving. Painfully slow, he unsheathes himself from you until only the head of his cock is inside, then pushes himself all the way back in with force. Again, and again, he repeats this motion. Pulls out, pushes in. Pulls out, pushes in, until he decides to increase his pace and set a steady rhythm. 
Every thrust into you is meticulously calculated. Sharp, and forceful, and not once does he disrupt the rhythm. He listens carefully to the sounds you make. Even listens to the way your breath hitches when he hits a spot right. Everything he’s doing is perfect–and it’s to no surprise. Deep down, you know that Satoru knows your body like the back of his hand. He’d know it if you were all old and wrinkly. He’d know it if his soul reincarnated. Hell, he’d know it blind. 
“Missed this,” he grunts, burying his head into the interstice of your neck, “missed you,” a kiss to your neck, “missed us.” 
The veracity of his words render you speechless. He’s already professed his feelings for you tonight, but it feels even more real now that you’re beneath him. To be loved by Gojo Satoru was a feeling many couldn’t say they had the consolation of knowing. Only a few in his circle could hold that position–but only one person in this world could truly ever know his love to its fullest extent. You. 
Satoru continues his mindless rambling, “I love you,” a thrust, “it’s always been you,” another, “was always going to be you.” Leaning back on his heels, he pushes your dress all the way up to reveal your breasts. Now it’s him who sits back and admires this time. As if he were reacquainting himself, he traces the planes and pastures of your chest with an eager hand. He runs it up and over each mound, squeezing and kneading the flesh experimentally. 
Then, he dips down and kisses the space between them. Sucks and licks until the skin bruises, and he has evidence to prove tonight actually happened. Eventually, he withdraws from your chest and returns his focus on easing his cock in and out of your cunt. 
“So beautiful,” he says, but it’s more to himself than anything. You’re so lost in your own pleasure, he doesn’t even think you can hear him. “Want you to cum on my cock, know you can do it, baby. Know you can,” he grunts, taking your hand and intertwining it with his own. Letting his head fall into your neck, he begins to quicken his pace. Fucks into you with everything he’s got and willing to give. 
“Toru,” you finally manage to say, “‘m so close, keep going. Do it - do it inside.” 
Do it inside. Do it inside. Do it inside. The thought is tempting, too tempting. It makes his dick twitch inside of you, and he swears if you say it again, he’ll actually do it. But he knows better than to listen to anything you say out of delirium. 
“Trust me, sweet girl,” he cradles your face, to which you lean into, “I want to - I want to so fucking badly. But we both know you’d regret it later.” 
Whining, your lips form into a pout, and the sight is so cute, he can’t help but to kiss it off of you. Compared to your kiss earlier, this one is much sweeter. Slower. More relaxed. He kisses you with the intent of making you dizzier than you already are, and it’s scary. Even so, you don’t pull away. You allow him to drink you up. Like your lips are the only source of water around, and he’s been quenched for days. 
Finally, with a few more thrusts, you reach your climax. The pressure building in the pit of your belly pops like a balloon, and everything goes white. “Toru!” you shriek, arching off the bed and trembling in his grasp. 
Using your arch as leverage, he keeps his hands underneath your back and continues to ram into you without abandon. You’re a babbling, wet mess at this point, and your cunt squeezing around him only encourages him more. 
“Fuckfuckfuck, ‘m gonna - ‘m gonna,” he curses, balls beginning to tighten. Quickly, he unsheathes himself and fists himself the rest of the way. With an impassioned moan, he climaxes–spurting thick, white, ropes of seed all over your abdomen. Then, falls onto your limp body with a grunt, chest heaving rapidly, and slick with perspiration. 
By this time, you’ve settled down enough to form a proper sentence. “That was…”
Satoru huffs, catching his breath. “Yeah.” 
Still spent, he continues to lay atop you. And you, having nowhere else to go, let him. The two of you lay comfortably in silence like this for a long time. Just you tracing shapes into his back, and him purring into your neck. Both of you know you should be getting up, but neither of you make an effort to do so. In this moment, time is transcendent. There is no rush to move when time stands still for you. 
Soon, that silence is broken. 
“I love you,” you say, and there’s no elaboration. Not even a recant. In fact, you say it so nonchalantly, he’s not even sure it was real. You say it like you’ve never been more certain in your life, like it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever had to do. 
“Really?” he queries, almost pathetically like the mere idea of you loving him is something unattainable. You look at him like he’s got two heads. 
“Yeah, you’re my best friend. I’ve always loved you,” you admit, pausing your ministrations on his back, “I just had to relearn how to love you.” He smiles at this, hums into your neck to keep from crying. 
“I’m glad we found our way back to each other,” he mumbles into your neck, “so where do we go from here?”
“From here we take it slow. We’ll learn together what it means to be individuals, and then from there we’ll see where it goes,” you say matter-of-factly, “no more repeating past mistakes.”
“Agreed,” he nods, “what will we tell the girls?”
That’s when your eyes widen and you sit up, forcefully pushing Satoru off of you. 
“What did I say, what’s wrong?” he queries, sitting up on the bed. He watches you rummage around the room maniacally, head on a swivel as you run out of the room and return with a purse. You pull your phone out to see a slew of missed calls and messages. 
“We forgot to call the girls!” You yell, showing him your phone screen of missed calls. Gojo jumps up to join you, one leg already sliding into his pants. 
“Shit!” 
Noticing the state of your appearance, you pinch the skin between your brows. “Satoru, I can’t wear this! You got cum all over it,” you groan, pointing to all the splotches of white. He tells you to wait a second before disappearing into his closet, then he comes back with a fist of clothes and throws it at you. 
“I can’t wear this either, they’ll wonder why I’m wearing your clothes!” 
Satoru runs to you and pull the dress off of your body, “We’ll wash it!” he screams, disappearing again out of the room, and to where you imagine, the laundry room. When he returns, he’s out of breath and panting. It’s only then do you realize how insane he looks with half his shirt buttoned, and his pants twisted around his hips. A giggle escapes your lips.
“What are you laughing at? Chop chop,” he claps, ushering you into his bathroom. 
Yeah, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss this idiot.
Tumblr media
comments + reblogs very appreciated !!!
© arachine 2023
7K notes · View notes
thefantasyden · 2 months
Text
Stray Kids reaction to you grabbing their dick (subtly) around people
Tumblr media
Kind of exhibitionist themes. NSFW of course. Nothing too kinky.
Chris:
Ohhhh boy, he's so turned on, but he's also embarrassed because of how much it turns him on. Chris loves your confidence and boldness above all else, so he can't help but feel a little pride when your hands reach behind you to rest against his dick. He really did have pure intensions when he came up behind you for a hug while you were talking to people but his thoughts have definitely turned sinful and he'd be tugging you closer to him so that he could press his dick against your ass all under the guise of being a cute, clingy boyfriend. He'd probably be throbbing against you if someone commented on how cute you two were or how sweet he was to you because he fully intends to have you begging him for mercy when he finally gets you alone. I genuinely just think he would be SO turned on my any hidden dirty displays from you in public where he was the only one who could know what's happening. Call it subtle exhibitionism if you will, but he'd be hard as hell and whispering his dirty thoughts in your ear every time.
"If you want me to bend your pretty ass over the couch when we get home, you coulda just asked me."
Lee Know:
Grins like the Cheshire Cat. He would be SO proud. It's not exactly a secret that you're his personal slut but he just lives for the affirmation of you not being able to keep your needy hands off him. If you're hanging out with the older members when it happens and you subtly slid your hand from his thigh to his dick, he would immediately call you out on it to embarrass you because he knows you'd like it. He's only turned on further when you sass him in response, and he probably wouldn't wait long to be tugging you to a place where he could have you all to himself. He's a bit of an exhibitionist but I think he'd also be possessive, so prepare for him to be taunting you before he lets you touch him further. He'd make you tell him all about how you just couldn't keep your hands to yourself because you're always needy for him. He treats you so so well when he finally lets you have him, and he'd be praising you for being his desperate angel. To him, it would evolve be another form of intimacy unique to you, and it probably becomes a normal habit after a while for you to have your hand on his dick when you're just hanging out.
"Aw, look, my baby just can't keep their hands off me, huh? You're always so desperate."
Changbin:
He wouldn't even realise it was weird at first because you're always groping him, and he does the exact same to you. He's always gripping your ass or your thighs when you're in reach of him, so you gripping his dick when you were sitting at dinner wouldn't register for him until he feels your hand move up his length and when that happens, he's coughing to try and cover up his moan because holy hell is it hot in this place. He's encouraging it for sure, and I think he'd actually like it if one of the other members caught you. It'd probably be Jisung because he's your partner in chaos and he'd see your hand slipping under a blanket when you were relaxing with them, immediately asking if you two ever thought about anything else with a smirk and Changbin would just let out the silliest, excited laugh in response. He loves your hands on him, but he also always manages to get a giggle out of you in most sexual scenarios (which gets him even more riled up because he l o v e s hearing you laugh.)
"Have you SEEN my baby? You're lucky I'm controlling myself right now like a civilised man."
Hyunjin:
He'd be turned on and a little irritated because it almost always happens when you're at an event that you can't leave. You were always flirty with him, and that was perfectly normal and acceptable with people around, but you hugging him and sliding your hand down to grope at his already half hard length was something he really could not find an appropriate reaction to. His expression would almost give it away if he hadn't been whispering a warning to you. Never mind that having you with him and having the two of you being praised for looking so good together while he showed you off already had him counting the seconds until he could get his hands on you. His behaviour wouldn't change throughout the night, but his grip on you would be tighter, and he'd be quieter than usual. You would almost believe he was upset with you if it wasn't for the anamoured smile he couldn't stop whenever you were talking to someone. The second you're in a private spot, he's scolding you for making him feel so out of control.
"I really need you to behave until we get back to the room and I can have you whining under me, ok?"
Jisung:
Confused and needy. Hell, he hardly has time to be confused because they way his body reacts so strongly to you has him pleading in your ear for you to help him relieve a little pressure, your cupped hand resting over his dick after you came to bring him coffee in the studio. He's just glad Chris and Changbin are focused on what they're doing and can't spare any attention to his whining when he pulls you on to his lap so he can hide his face in your hair as he pants against your neck. He's just so sensitive to your touch, and he can't help it. Poor boy is trying so hard not to grip your thighs too hard or fidget too much. Usually, when he's desperate like that, he'd be so vocal, but that's impossible when the other two are so close by. He'd survive MAYBE 10 minutes TOPS of you sitting in his lap before he's trying to convince the boys that he feels sick (which they don't buy, but they don't feel like dealing with him) and he's dragging you back to the door. I think he's just so in love with you that he wants to have you in any way he can at all times.
"Shit... That feels so good baby. No no, please don't stop. I just want a little more."
Felix:
Depending on the day, I think he'd either be kind of cocky and into it, or he'd be bright red (but still into it!). Felix strikes me as someone who has a high sex drive when he feels a deep connection with someone and you just so happened to tend to his needs so well that he's ready to go whenever you show interest. You'd be sitting in the car coming home from something, and your hand would carefully drop to his lap, fingers barely stroking over his dick but he's getting hard regardless. He loves your light, ticklish touches, and his thoughts are spiralling to how they feel on his bare skin and how similar it feels when you trail kisses down his chest and, well, he needs you. He covers your hand with his and presses it down so he gets a little bit of relief but is also stopping you from torturing him any further. Once you're home, he'd playfully call you dirty between kisses and it would entertwine with 'I love you's and whispers of how beautiful you are and how badly he needs to have you touch him again. Lots of messy kisses and giggles before you even make it to the bed.
"You don't even know how hard that was! How am I supposed to act normal when you've got that innocent face and you're touching me like that?"
Seungmin:
I don't care if you're team Dom Minnie or Sub Minnie, I think he'd be FLUSTERED. Seung doesn't strike me as an exhibitionist at all, and he'd react so instantaneously to your touch that it has him aggressively flushed and confused. He'd take a second to respond when he first felt your hand on him, but he'd push it away once it registers, scowling and whisper-yelling that you can't do that when people are around! He doesn't mean to sound harsh, he's just so embarrassed (and maybe also really turned on) that the words come out more aggressively than he intended. Once he's calmed down, though, he'd scoot closer to you and interlock your fingers, gently kissing your cheek and apologising for the way his scolding came out. He loves that you want him, he just needs it to be at a time when he can respond freely. Don't worry though, because he'll make it up to you when you're alone. He'd be kneeling between your legs as quickly as possible, kisses littering your thighs as his hands pushed them apart.
"Let me make show you how much I need you, ok? I wanna taste you."
I.N
Just like Lixxie, he depends on the day. If it's a really public setting, he's embarrassed and moving away from you BUT if it's a small group with maybe one or two of the other members, he's pulling you closer to him and bucking his hips against your hand, encouraging you to continue. On rare occasions like movie nights where you're hidden under fluffy blankets, he wants you to jerk him off. He's a young man, he has a lot of dirty thoughts. It's definitely not his fault! He'd taunt you with whispers of how good he'll make you feel later and how hard he is, all for you and god, when he finally feels your hand wrap around him properly, he has to squeeze his eyes shut and pray that nobody notices his panting or the way he seemingly can't get comfortable all of a sudden. He doesn't like to finish like that, though, and he doesn't think about what anyone says when he drags you to his room. All he cares about is getting his lips on yours, hands groping at whatever he touches first as he cages you against his mattress.
"I know you love seeing me like this. I'm so hard for you. I wanna fuck you so fucking bad."
1K notes · View notes
abcjxyzyeo · 2 months
Text
Mr Brightside.
Tumblr media
summary; Ever since you joined the gaang, Zuko had kept his eye on you. Even tho he hasn't officially joined your team, he thought you were kind, sweet, and good looking. But unfortunately for him, his mind tormented him with thoughts of you and Sokka, assuming you two were a couple. When he finally joined, he tried to make a move but yet it only confirmed his fears. Until...
Pairing; Zuko x afab!Reader(romantic) , Sokka x afab!Reader(platonic)
AN; !!!!! first post !!!!! Kinda nervy writing this cuz it's my first time writing something but I been on my avatar shiiii so yk I gotta do what I gotta do !! Anyways yea this is like kinda sorta based on Mr. Brightside by The Killers but it's also like not ?? And again it's my first time writing so the plot and dialogue and everything abt it is def messy and possibly rushed but pshh enjoy !! And also not to be a lil spoiler but ofc Zuko and y/n get together in the end 😘😘😘
Warning; Angst(???), F!reader(mentioned !!), sex and sexual implications(???) idfk 😭😭😭
Zuko paced back and forth, unsure what to do. You were the only thing on his mind, it bothered him and he had to do something about it. But yet ever since that day when you two first met, Zuko couldn't let go of the fact you were probably Sokka's girl. But he couldn't let go of your kindness, you sat and cried next to his uncle that had just been struck with lightning. But obviously, his emotions getting the better of him, he shot fire at you and Katara. He watched as Sokka grabbed your hand and waist pulling you up and running away. But eventually when he had gathered all his courage(which took a while) and his strength he walked up to you.
Comin' out of my cage and I been doin' just fine Gotta, gotta be down because I want it all
"Hey y/n." he grimly uttered
"Zuko! Hey! Why so down? Did someone die?" you chuckled to yourself
"Uh n-no. I was just wond-"
Just when he was about to admit his feelings, here came the killer of all his courage. Strutting with intensifying ego. Sokka. With widened eyes, Zuko stared as Sokka scooped you up and twirled you around. Wrapping your beautiful arms around his neck and burying your head with them. Zuko looked down and saw his hands firmly carry you while holding your ass. A twinge of pain and jealousy struck his intestines hard and fierce.
"What's on your mind?" You said with immense joy in your voice, but yet not looking Zuko in the eyes. Your attention now only focused on Sokka staring into his dazzling eyes.
"Uh, can I talk to you.. alone." Staring dejectedly at Sokka, and he simply shrugs, setting y/n down and walking away.
Zuko can tell you are obviously annoyed, and it worries him. Maybe he isn't wrong and you and Sokka are a thing, his palms start to become slick with sweat and he lets out an exasperated sigh with a low flame following.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
You watch as Zuko walks intensely closer, invading all your personal space. It wasn't a problem with you but it was definitely confusing. Zuko opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Letting out a groan of frustration, he made a quick fast move. Grabbing the back of your neck and the small of your back, pulling you in and landing his lips on yours. At first for one mere second you found yourself kissing him back for a second, but when you came to your senses you pushed him off. Zuko falling flat on his butt and looking up at you with hurt in his eyes.
"Zuko what the hell?" You yell trying to shake off the weird feeling in your gut
"Y/n I'm sorry!" He tries to yell while you turn and run towards Sokka, great, you just kissed some guys girlfriend, he thought. "Ugh, I can't believe how stupid I am!" pitiful tears welled up in his eyes before he violently wiped them before they could even think of spilling out of his delicate eyes, god that was embarrassing. He got up and threw himself in his tent to try and take a nap to even forget what he did.
Now I'm fallin' asleep and she's callin' a cab While he's havin' a smoke and she's takin' a drag Now they're goin' to bed and my stomach is sick And it's all in my head
Zuko throws the sheets off of him, sitting up in a cold sweat. He wipes the sweat off the back of his neck.
"Shit," he utters
He kept having weird dreams about you and Sokka, as if he was looking right at you two, having to watch a repeating nightmare of the girl of his dreams get taken by another guy. He lays his head back down and closes his eyes. Clutching his stomach that's tied in all forms of tight painful knots making his throat slick with spit. Maybe if he just thought of anything else he would have some form of nice sleep.
But she's touchin' his chest now He takes off her dress now Let me go And I just can't look, it's killin' me And takin' control
Zuko was having yet another horrid nightmare, but it felt all too real. He had left his tent and made his way to yours to apologize for stepping over lines. Weird noises, smells, and heats emitted from your tent though. He grabbed the curtain and pulled it up, horrified at the scene in front of him. A topless Sokka laid over you on the ground, he was carefully stripping you of all your clothes. You looking over and making straight eye contact with Zuko as Sokka slides himself in.
Zuko shoots his upper body up covering his eyes and yelling. Softly opening up his eyes he realizes it was all a bad dream. But oh God what if that's actually happening? He wipes the sweat off his forehead and swiftly got up and out of his tent in one motion.
Jealousy, turnin' saints into the sea Swimmin' through sick lullabies Chokin' on your alibis
Zukos eyes landed on Sokka watching you practice your earth bending. He slipped down into a spot next to Sokka and blissfully watched a girl he can never have. He looked at Sokka through his peripheral vision, that very familiar pinch of jealousy hitting close to home.
"You're a lucky guy," he uttered
That caught Sokka by surprise and he laughed
"What?"
"Y/n, look how talented she is! And she's kind and pretty, and she's yours."
This caused Sokka to laugh even harder
"Lighten up Zuko! Y/n isn't my girlfriend, she's just a close friend of mine being Suki's sister and all. I see Suki a lot in Y/n and according to Azula with Suki in prison it's nice to still have a piece of her somewhere."
But it's just the price I pay Destiny is callin' me
This caused Zukos eyes to widen fiercely. Everything he had worried about simply drifted away, even if you had rejected him he still felt worlds better. A giant boulder sized relief fell of his shoulders.
Y/n saw Zuko and Sokka sitting together and waved to both the boys with a happy smile, walking up to them and nodding Sokka off. Leaving the earth bender and the fire bender alone. Before you could say anything Zuko shot up from the floor.
"Y/n I'm so sorry, I never meant to overstep any boundaries I just thought-"
He was cut off by the feeling of lips on his own
"You talk too much," you giggled "I'm sorry for brushing you off earlier I was just caught by surprise and I was nervous. But I do like you Zuko."
Zuko smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into yet another kiss.
"I like you too."
Open up my eager eyes 'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside
837 notes · View notes
areislol · 1 year
Text
patting their head out of nowhere
Tumblr media
ft— blade, gepard, dan heng, jing yuan, yanqing, luocha, welt, sampo
warning — none, just fluff! might be ooc, established relationship, gn! reader, mentions of killing, platonic for yanqing, characters in order
a/n— first hsr post omgggggg!! as i stated in the warning the characters might be a bit ooc because it's my first time writing for them so.. it's short im sorry :(
wordcount. 2.2k
Tumblr media
blade 刃
✧ he was just crouching down when you, out of the blue, start patting his head.
✧ blade turns his head up to look at you, mans just.. staring at you with such cold eyes. watching as you pat his head, he's... ugh *cue a deep and "annoyed" sigh*
✧ "what is it now, Y/N?" he asks in an annoyed tone, and honestly, he could've just stood up or removed your hand from his head but he didn't. weird, isn't it? blade lets you continue your nonsense as he crouches there, pressing his lips into a thin line as people pass by, giggling and pointing at you two. they were probably talking about how cute you two were.. a tall, scary guy getting head pats from someone who isn't to scary looking. how adorable! ♡
✧ he watches you intensely with piercing eyes, but you know that there is a small glint of softness seeping out of his mask.
✧ blade doesn't really like pda out in the public but, a head pat? pfft- that's not even big! why would he be affected by something to small? so he doesn't care. (but he really does, because ohmygosh! it's you!! you're giving him head pats, so so adorable!)
✧ he doesn't mind anything when it comes to you.. but if somebody who's not you starts patting his head, they'd be dead on the ground already.
✧ whenever someone (like jing yuan) notices this cute interaction and give him a smirk and mouth "aww" he rolls his eyes and stares into their soul, because when you're done he may or may not try to kill them later <;33
✧ (blade tells you to not do that in public once you're done, but when you're both together in private he asks, in a very embarrassed tone, if you could give him some head pats.)
✧ he grumbles and mutters under his breath, something along the lines of "i can't believe it." when you smile and pat his head, he's trying to act all tough and act like he isn't affected by your actions but it's really hard to when heat rushes to his cheeks and a pink hue suddenly appears on his cheeks.
✧ "what? i'm red? don't be so ridiculous ...."
gepard 傑帕德
✧ he blinks at you in confusion when you stand on your tippy toes and gesture for him to come down to your level, when he does, you start to pat his head. ah, there it is. the flustered and confused gepard.
✧ "ohmygoshyou'resoadorablehowcanonebesocute!!!" literally his thoughts right now as you pat his head and gush over how soft his hair is, gepard is quite literally on cloud nine.
✧ gepard sort of.. malfunctions? his cheeks are so red and hot he thinks he may faint from your head pats. he freezes when you first place your hand on his head but within a few seconds he immediately melts in your touches and smiles up at you.
✧ gepard loves receiving pda from you. whether it be something small or not. he loves knowing the fact that everybody knows that you two are together from these simple loving acts. he allows you to continue patting his head (as if he could stop you) and you can see how he's blushing like crazy.
✧ he looks like a cute puppy boy who loves getting head pats (because he does) and his adorable red face makes your heart melt. once you're done with patting his head, he immediately grabs onto your hand and for a second he pauses before he slowly puts your hand down, he blushes and looks at you in an embarrassed way
✧ "i.. is it alright if you continue this later? when we're alone..?"
dan heng 丹恆
✧ hghfffffff are you trying to kill this man? could this interaction not be any cuter!?!?!? <- dan heng freaking out internally as you pat his head. dan chuckles softly and sighs in delight.
✧ dan LOVES it when you give him affection, in the public or not. if you hold his hands, he will blush, if you give him a peck on the cheek, he will blush, if you link arms with him, he will blush, if you- (you get the idea..)
✧ "truly, Y/N, you're so cute.." dan sighs, closing his eyes as you continued to pat and run your fingers through his hair. if he was a cat right now, he would be purring loudly. like, really loud.
✧ he doesn't care if his friends see him like this, it's adorable, is it not? if anything he'd smile happily at whoever's passing by or at his friends and mouth "im in heaven-uh!!" while pointing at you patting his head.
✧ your head pats give him some soft of comfort, it's like you're praising him, by patting his head. and he would love nothing more than you patting his head after doing something successfully or winning a duel.
✧ when your hands leave his head he immediately grabs your hand and places it back on his head. "don't stop, i like it." and how could you refuse? (you can't, that's the thing)
✧ so you spent like 20 or more minutes just patting his head, your hand was getting slightly tired and when he noticed how sloppy your movements were getting he let out a soft sigh and stood up, smiling down at you.
✧ "thank you for spoiling me, love. lets go get some food yeah? how about your favourite?"
jing yuan 景元
✧ he raises his brows at you in confusion and amusement. he doesn't say anything though, only staring at you with those pretty eyes and watching you pat and rub his head.
✧ slowly, his lips curve into a smirk. "dear, what are you doing? giving me head pats.. interesting.." his tone is so teasing for what reason.. jing yuan is a general, so whatever he does affects his reputation and his image, but he really doesn't care when it comes to you.
✧ like when yanqing comes running to jing yuan, looking at you patting his master's head. he's obviously thinking "what.. on earth..?" and opens his mouth to speak but jing cuts him off. "what are you here for, yanqing? im currently busy with my partner."
✧ huhu, he's such a tease, asking you why you're giving him head pats, asking if you're doing this to get his attention or something.. you can only shut him up with a chaste kiss to his lips to which he blushes at.
✧ he sighs softly and closes his eyes. taking in the calm breeze and the nice head pats you're giving, jing yuan won't really voice that he's enjoying this, but maybe his soft hums that escape his lips will tell you.
✧ but in the end when the head pat session is over, he smiles tenderly at you and leans forward to give you a quick kiss on your cheek. "i enjoyed your little head pats.. maybe you should do it more often."
✧ he gives you head pats in return as well!! it's only fair, right? once you're done with your head pats it's his turn, you're surprised at first since you didn't expect him to do that but you don't complain. his eyes soften as he sees how you're enjoying this, a faint blush on his cheeks as he continued to pat your head. you're so adorable.. it's truly a blessing to have you in his life.
✧ "it's only fair, is it not? you give me head pats and i give you them as well.."
yanqing 彥卿
✧ he looks at you in confusion as you pat his head, was this some sort of reward for finally hitting 5,000 strikes on a practice dummy? either way, he lets you continue patting his head.
✧ yanqing thinks that it'll be over soon but.. nope. you continue to pat his head and he just continues to stare at you, giving you a nervous smile when your eyes meet his. "ah.. Y/N, why..?" he stops himself from talking when you stop moving your hands, did he upset you?
✧ but when he realizes that you only stopped because you thought that it was making him uncomfortable, he immediately reassures you that he wasn't uncomfortable, only... confused.
✧ when you explain that you just wanted to give him a head pat (maybe as a reward for doing such a good job) he nods his head and speaks again. "you.. can continue if you want. i dont mind. just tell me next time, okay?"
✧ he knows that he made the right choice when he sees your eyes light up as you start to pat his head again. yanqing is slightly embarrassed when he sees that jing yuan notices what you're doing to him
✧ yan smiles awkwardly at jing and he's sweating BALLS because now the general, his master!! is seeing him in a situation that.. could make him be seen as vulnerable.
✧ he eventually stops you and apologizes, saying that he has to go do something (he really does) and that he doesn't mind if you pat his head next time, probably somewhere jing yuan doesn't frequent.
luocha 羅剎
✧ ah.. he expected you to do something like that. he doesn't really mind it, if anything he loves it! he smiles tenderly as he relaxes in your touch, sighing softly. "mm, i do enjoy this, why head pats all of the sudden?"
✧ when you explain that you just felt like it, he lets out a hum and nods his head. luocha continues doing what he was doing before, it was quite hard to concentrate, yes, but he didn't have the heart to stop you so..
✧ luocha likes receiving pda from you, mostly in private though, but as of right now you two are alone so he doesn't care what you do to him. and if you don't mind, maybe he could return the head pats (and more) as well?
✧ he actually enjoys the head pats, and he actually voiced it as well!! and when you tease him about it you notice a faint pink hue appear on his cheeks.. so cute..
✧ if you give him head pats out in public though, he might stop you if you go on for too long. but don't worry, he will allow you to do it for however long you want to once you two are home.
✧ he's so soft for you honestly, so expect head pats back. when you're done you turn away but suddenly he starts to pat your head back and you're just like ??? you're still and everything
✧ luocha chuckles softly at your reaction and smiled tenderly at you. "how cute of you, i must give you something in return, no?"
welt 瓦爾特
✧ ".... what are you doing..?"
✧ he's so confused i swear, staring at you dumbfounded and slightly annoyed when you pat his head. he lets out a huff and goes back to his activity. he could care less about what you're doing to him and doesn't mind what others think.
✧ welt is unbothered by you, allowing you to continue your head patting and you're glad that he's not that affected by your actions.
✧ welt glares at anybody who's giggling and pointing at you two. like, mind your own business.
✧ he looks like a grumpy dad and sighs sadly. "why... are you.. nevermind."
✧ you might think that he isn't enjoying it and he has to put up with you everyday, which, he does. but he is enjoying it. anything you do to him he absolutely loves and cherishes. you think he'll forget about the head pats? absolutely not, once you two go home he's asking you to massage and run your fingers through his hair after showering.
✧ "dearest, could i trouble you to do what you did to me earlier today, right now? i.. enjoyed it.."
sampo 桑博
✧ smiles like a mad man!! you're just so adorable.. how could he not?? sampo's smiling like crazy when u give him head pats <;33
✧ "oh? what's my little dove doing?" he says in a teasing tone (?? he likes teasing u hhh)
✧ his heart is beating so fast you can probably hear it if you were to lean in closer to his chest. not only that but he's B.L.U.S.H.I.N.G. face red like a tomato as you run your fingers through his hair.
✧ sampo will NEVER stop you from giving him affection (especially kisses and linking hands with you) so when you give him head pats he allows you to instead of stopping you.. and you're doing this in public too.. not that anything's wrong with that!!
✧ he pulls you in closer by your waist!! smirking as he hears you yelp from surprise. "what~ did that surprise you?"
✧ sampo could care less about the stares he gets from people/his friends, why should he be? everybody in the world should know about your relationship!
✧ please don't stop the head pats :(( he's literally begging you to not stop because its just so comforting to him ♡ if you do stop he won't pressure you to continue but he'll probably pout for a good 20 minutes before he finally smiles again when you kiss his cheek.
✧ he loves the head pats. so he hopes that you will continue giving him head pats in the future <;33
Tumblr media
note: if you would like to be added to the honkai star rail taglist pls just ask me!! dont be shy &lt;3
taglist 🏷️ : none so far
liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!!
another note: first hsr post!!! also i got my glasses today and uhm i kinda hate it but yk what, my eyesight is so much better so...
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!
7K notes · View notes
emptyjunior · 28 days
Text
It looks like with the movies taking off, everyone is on the Dune train now!! Which is very exciting, I’m glad a bunch of new people are discovering this media and reading the books, but can I recommend you the David Lynch, Dune (1984) movie.
Tumblr media
First of all, if you are invested in the lore of the books and the deeper messaging of the story, you’re going to need to turn that part of your brain Off. If you love kick ass shit and are willing to be slightly tipsy while you watch and have a great goddamn afternoon, this is the flick for you.
Now first fun fact I’m going to share with you. David Lynch (twin peaks, eraserhead director, celebrated surrealist) turned down the opportunity to direct Return of the Jedi for this film. A film that was devastatingly slow to make, changed hands multiple times, had a pricy VFX budget of $40 million and then made barely $31 million, David Lynch turned down Star Wars to work on it. And he did this when he had never read the novel, and did not even like or engage with sci fi media. THAT’S how you know we’re really in for something.
Tumblr media
Now this film has some big names in it! We’ve got a young Kyle MacLachlan who is rocking some Devastating outfits:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
We’ve got Sir Patrick Stewert as our Gurney and Sting, lead singer of the police, playing the 15 year old Feyd Rautha! If you wanted to see a grown man, sprayed orange, basically naked playing a free wheeling maniac you are in for a treat! And another fun fact, David Lynch also did not know who these actors were, he made a mistake and thought Patrick Stewert was someone else and when Sting said he was in the police he assumed he was in an organization of lawmen.
Tumblr media
Now these characters are familiar to you, but let me get into the unfamiliar. Lynch made some directorial executive decisions throughout this film, for I suppose the ease of the viewer? I mean an adaptation is supposed to adapt so he went let me change some stuff up👏👏👏.
Those who paid attention to Jessica’s backstory may know about the Weirding Way. This is a martial arts style created by the Bene Gesserit, and practiced by Paul. It is more than just a fighting style but also an important philosophical concept, like Aikido or how Kung Fu has foundations in Buddhism.
You may also be familiar with the quote “My name is a killing word.” This inner monologue of Paul’s refers to how his title Muad’dub will be used to spur a holy war. A simple name is what people will die and bleed for, it will be what they scream as they cut down enemies.
Dark! Intense! That’s Dune, anyways in the novel it’s easy to take your time exploring these concepts. Introducing the audience to the religious ramifications of a simple name and fighting practice and how these things can have rippling repercussions upon a society like the Freman.
Now David Lynch didn’t have time for that! He had the belief (that may be right🤷‍♂️!) That watching a bunch of people kick each other on top of a sand dune would be Lame😭😭
So he made the choice for his film that “My name is a killing word” was to be taken Absolutely Literally and invented a device where if the freman said the name Muad-dib, shit would explode.
Tumblr media
If they said Paul’s name, they could Explode Stuff. Let it sink in how rad that is. Hell yeah man, hell yeah. Imagine me interpreting religious text that way, imagine if I made a bible movie and the moral I took from a parable is that when Jesus asked for food and everyone donated fish, I concluded that Jesus was a mutant who had fish powers and could immediately conjure fish with magic and gave him fish death rays that shot out of his hands.
So that’s what you can expect from this interpretation, the weirding way now means everyone has Lasers its rad as hell.
Some other incredible choices made! This is a spoiler, but in the novels and the new films you can see the Freman collecting every scrap of water they can. Dr Liet-Kynes, the planetologist, reveals to us it’s because they have a long, multiple generation spanding plan to fix the planet. By introducing this water back they hope to reset the ecosystem over centuries of work. The reason they have been unable to do this is because a green planet would obviously not have worms and sand who produce spice, the most coveted drug in the empire, so imperial and harkonnen forces have been stopping this from ever happening. They want to be free from oppression so that they can start to work on slowly fixing their world, a project that plays out in Paul’s adult life and has its own dramas and complexities.
In Dune 1984??? The moment, the Moment Paul lays out his cousin and throws the final punch, it begins to rain in Arrakis. As if they were all under a magical curse and were just waiting for a teenager to come fight another teenager and then the water will come back. It’s so good, it’s so funny.
Tumblr media
Also Pugs! House Atreides official Pugs! Paul has pugs in his lap!!
Tumblr media
This is honestly an adaptation choice that I really really like! Paul is the result of centuries of selective breeding, this practice is an artform to the Bene Gesserit and a skill that they monitor closely. It produces bizarre and sometimes terrifying results and is the reason for Paul’s existence.
I think having an animal that was also created through selective breeding, was engineered from a wolf into an animal that can hardly breathe is an incredible metaphor! A smart and identifiable symbol for the audience, I think it’s a slam dunk and the new movies should have done it to.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Anyways can not recommend this film enough.
-The body suits the bad guys wear are made out of real body bags, that actually had been used.
-David Lynch to this day hates it.
-The original cut was four hours.
-The cast and crew were sick the Entire shoot with something they called Montezuma's Revenge, which was probably just food poisoning, side effects from the constant smog because they shot the whole thing on backup generators, illness from the cockroach infestation and terrible morale.
-Frank Herbert saw it multiple times and said he absolutely loved it.
-When they ride the worms, sick rock jams play.
If you love electric guitar, lasers, worms and will forgive me for not including all the trigger warnings cause Yes this film will gross you out, then go watch this movie.
618 notes · View notes
suguru-getos · 8 months
Text
࿐ soft yandere neuvillette hcs (f!reader) ࿐
Tumblr media
neuvillette being a hydro dragon was always territorial of the things he held dear, whether it was his unyielding love for the melusines, or the love for the people of fontaine or the love for justice and the idea of it for the people. this has never been translated into an intense devotion for a human until he saw you. lawyering up oh so sweetly against one of your friends to defend the defamation case lodged against their business.
it was then — that your eyes lingered with the chief justice. for someone who holds a power so supreme — he sure had kind eyes. standing above all, having the ability to shut the whole opera house in a second with the stern daunt of his voice. he was enamoring too… but you didn’t know how enamored he was of you. for the first time neuvillette was getting distracted during a hearing. how your eyes fiercely spoke along with the entanglement of your words. how exquisite.
you won the case & the happiness which made your smile all the more beautiful with the glimmer of victory dancing all over it. you also got a chance to thank the chief justice, too. to which of course — he’d be kind enough and deny. “please don’t thank me. i am just doing my work here.” still, when neuvillette shook hands with you to depart, his eyes widened with the registering of a weird, twisted feeling inside of him. he wanted to protect you for life, mate with you, wanted to be by your side…
it was one of the weird times when it had been the sunniest after the trials. the people of fontaine were weirded out to find out no rains for the rest of the week. despite of the trials. truth been told, neuvillette didn’t have the time to be upset for anything because now he has someone he was invested in.
why waste time? neuvillette thought to himself, he had never approached anyone yet. so? when he approached your door and knocked with a tender smile, with a bouquet on his hands and a sweet smile just to ask if you’d be so kind for a date, you heartily agreed. heart fluttering throughout the date when he pulled your chair, ordered the same food as yours just so he can taste your likes. asking if you’d be so kind as to give him another date opportunity— kissing your forehead while dropping you home. things were beyond golden.
things started getting a little controlling after a first month or so. as someone who had a few friends who liked to travel, you’d find the chief justice of fontaine not so eager to allow you to move out of fontaine. “inazuma? do you understand how far it is from here?” he had a point, of course… “but one of my friend’s family is there and the vision hunt decree is abolished now and i—” neuvillette doesn’t yell at you, he’s too soft for that. “i believe i didn’t ask for any reply to that dearest. you will be here in fontaine. if you want, i can arrange that your friend’s family come here. they’d be given the most royal treatment-”
neuvillette also quickly shuts down any opportunity for you to be talking to someone unknown. it’s simple? he has met your friends in gatherings and they are intimidated and respectful of your man. the others would take too much of his time in dissection of their personalities. how does he stop you? simple — neuvillette gets needy. he would clutch you in his arms and pout. not wanting to let you go at any cost. “i missed you sweetheart.” you can’t help but give in.
he doesn’t do punishments. it is too heartbreaking for him to see you stressed and distressed of him of all people !! however there was an instance where you forgot to inform him & came back home at 2 am with a bunch of people partying. neuvillette didn’t take that lightly. you know this because that was the first time you were pinned against the wall. kind and tender eyes glowering down and enraged. you couldn’t help but sniffle for hours when neuvillette brought you over his knee for a spanking. he hated it when you cried, it was stormy in fontaine for the rest of the week <\3 why don’t you understand he just loves you so much it makes him lovesick!
to make it up for losing his temper — he would spoil you with so much love. it would get hard to breathe under the undying affection he gives you. kissing your forehead, bringing you your favorite food, letting you feel the freedom you felt taken away, anything and everything. would probably surrender and get on his knees, sobbing if you give him the silent treatment.
2K notes · View notes
Text
[ i wrote this in an hour after a very long day at work so if you see any mistakes...no you dont. Also i WILL see them later. Like immediately after i post this...so it goes. Enjoy guys! 🧡 ]
The sun from his window wakes him, shining in his eyes. The night before coming back to him slowly, his stomach swooping at the memory. He reaches behind himself, blindly, his stomach dropping. The sheets are cold.
Steve rolls onto his back, letting his head fall to the side slowly, not wanting to see what he's already felt. Not wanting to see the emtpy bed Eddie had promised wouldn't be there in the morning.
He turns.
No Eddie.
He refuses to acknowledge the whine that crawls up his throat, takes a deep breath, and rolls onto his side, his fingers idly moving over the sheets Eddie had left rumpled in his wake.
It had taken them months to get here. To this place. From Eddie and Steve. To EddieAndSteve.
Steve hadn't expected Eddie. Was shocked how much he enjoyed the other boys company. He was loud, and intense, and smart, and an asshole, and kind. This weird puzzle Steve wanted to toss onto the table so he could see the pieces better.
And then he'd met the other Eddie. The Eddie he was when he was alone with someone. He was no less intense. But he got quiet. He got calm. And at first, it freaked Steve out a little bit. He hadn't been expecting it, this quiet side of Eddie.
He'd actually asked Jeff about it one day, asked if maybe he'd been doing something wrong. That Eddie was too nice to call him on it so he'd just kept his mouth shut and gotten quiet. Jeff had laughed, not meanly, and had said,
"You ever known him to keep his mouth shut? About anything?" Jeff gave him a look, his brows moving up his forehead. Steve shook his head.
"It's freaky right? When he gets quiet, and calm?" Jeff had asked, the look on his face softening when Steve nodded slowly.
"But nice right? Not in a mean way. Just... there's somethin about him when he's quiet." Jeff shrugged, still looking at Steve.
"It's like he's got so much focus. And then it goes quiet and all that focus is just... on you." Steve said, quiet, and slow. Jeff tilted his head to the side, eyes moving over Steve's thoughtful face. A lot of people usually made comments when he made that face, told him not hurt himself, thinking too hard, but not Jeff. Jeff smiled at him, clapped him on the shoulder and said.
"Yeah. And Eddie focus can a be overwhelming when you aren't used to it. But you do, get used to it." He gave Steve's shoulder a squeeze, smiled again when Steve mumbled something about that not being an issue. And that had been the end of it. And the beginning.
Steve got used to Eddie's quiet focus, the way his eyes were always on him when they were alone. He got used to the way Eddie liked doing things for him. Little favors. Little errands. Little good deeds.
He got used to the way Eddie would read to him when he got headaches. His voice calm, and even, and most of the time putting Steve to sleep.
And then he got used to the way Eddie touched him. Like he was something precious. And that was when Steve couldn't help himself. He kissed Eddie. One night in his stupid plaid bedroom. The plaid Eddie loved so much. Cuz it was all Steve.
He'd kissed him and Eddie had smiled into it. And then kissed him back. And Steve got used to that too. He'd gotten used to Eddie being there. With him. For him. Around him and inside him. He was everywhere. And everything. And Steve was so sure he loved him. That Eddie loved him back.
But he was alone.
Eddie promised he would be here with Steve in the morning. Steve was so tired of being with someone and then waking up alone. And Eddie promised, soft and sweet in that way he had, he would be here.
He promised.
Steve felt his eyes burn and curled around the pillow next to him. It still smelled like Eddie, his shampoo and his cigarettes and his sweat. Steve sobbed into the pillow, holding it close as his tears stained the fabric, his chest aching.
And then the smoke detector is blaring. Startling him, he jumps out of bed, disoriented from crying and being pulled out his little bubble. He almost trips over something on his way to the door, he looks down, sees Eddie's jeans. Huh.
He tugs his shirt down over his stomach where it had ridden up in sleep and darts down the stairs, the loud, incessant beeping is coming from the kitchen. As soon as his feet hit the stairs he smells burning. A few more steps and he hears an all too familiar voice. His heart stops pounding from the adrenaline, and starts pounding for a new reason, as he stops right outside the kitchen doorway to listen.
"Please stop please stop please stop!" Eddie's voice begs in a whisper.
"Oh my god. Oh god. What the fuck? Chair. I need a chair." Steve hears him snap his fingers, hears him grunt.
"Okay! Oh my god. Shut uuuupp!" Eddie hisses. Steve's hears him fumbling with something.
"Waking up the whole fucking neighborhood at this rate. I mean c'mon this can't- are you fucking- Gotcha!" Steve hears the sound of the fire detector click free.
"You're gonna get it now you little- oh shit. Okay. I'm okay." Eddie sounds like he's soothing himself. Steve hears another rattling noise, a little "ah HA!", and the beeping finally stops.
"Jesus." Eddie sounds out of breath.
"That was fucking never wracking. A whole fucking todo. My god." He sighs loudly, Steve covering his mouth, trying not to snort and give himself away.
"Now where was I?" Eddie asks himself, Steve hears him groan softly and can almost see the way his body deflates.
"Oh right. You." Steve smiles at the venom in his voice, has to peak around the corner to see if his suspicions are correct. Sure enough, Eddie is looking at the pan on the stove, what was once probably eggs, is now a pan full of smoldering nothing.
Eddie sighs again, his shoulders sagging. He curls his fingers around the handle, lifts the pan closer to his face, squinting at the ashes inside.
"Now, what am I... gonna do with you?" He asks, frowning. Steve bites his lip.
"I was just about to ask you the same question." Steve says, stepping around the door frame. Eddie yelps, nearly drops the pan, rights it quickly but gets a handful of ashy eggs in the process, makes a face and a strangled noise as he sets it back on the stove.
"Steve! You're awake!" He says, smiling, as he takes a few steps backwards, shoves his hands into the sink and scrubs them off, gagging once as he pushes soap between his fingers. Steve drags his teeth over his bottom lip, lets it go. Smiles as he watches Eddie clean his hands.
"Yes Eddie. I'm awake." He leans agaisnt the door frame.
"I um... did I wake you up? I didn't mean too. I had like a whole...plan. Well... maybe not a whole plan. Half a plan? Let's call it part of a plan. " his hands flail and then drag down his shirt as he dries them.
"What are we talkin like, sixty/forty?" Steve teases, Eddie fowns, scrunches his face.
"I wouldn't give it that much. It was eighty/twenty at best."  His hand wiggles and wobbles in front of him. The laugh that bursts out of Steve makes him smile.
"I just wanted to bring you breakfast in bed. I only remembered about half way in that I, actually, cannot cook." His eyes move to the ashy eggs again.
"Clearly." He sighs, his shoulders drooping again. Steve's stomach swoops, again, and this time the feeling stays. He laughs again. And moves toward Eddie. Eddie looks at him, holds his hands up between them quickly, like he's gonna fight Steve off with Karate he doesn't know.
"I will clean your kitchen! I just wanted to do something nice for- oomf." He huffs out air into Steve's shoulder as Steve slams into him and pulls him close.
"Oh. Hi." His voice has gone from defensive to pleasantly surprised, his hands resting against Steve's back are warm, and he can feel Eddie smiling into his shoulder.
"You stayed." Steve breathes, closes his eyes and breaths Eddie in, squeezing him tighter. Eddie makes a teasing gasping for air noise and then squeezes back.
"Well yeah. I promised didn't I?" Eddie asks, his fingers digging into Steve's sides, making him squirm. Steve pulls back and looks at him.
"Yes. You did. Thank you for keeping your promise." Steve watches Eddie smile, watches his eyes wander slowly over his face, taking him. And then he kisses him. Again. For maybe the hundredth time. For the thousandth. Steve doesn't know. Just knows that he never wants to stop. But he does, so he can look at Eddie, all wide eyed and frizzy haired, looking a little dazed, the way he always does when Steve kisses him.
"Will you make me another promise?" Steve whispers, bumping his nose softly into Eddie's. He's already nodding.
"Yeah. Anything. What do want?" Eddie asks, his hands squeezing Steve's hips gently.
"Promise me. You'll never, ever, try to cook anything for me ever again." Steve bites his lip when Eddie sqwuaks and shoves him away.
"I was trying! To be sweet to you!!" He shouts, his hands on his chest as he backs away, over dramatically offended.
"I know. And the thought was very nice." Steve nods, grabs the pan and holds it upside down, the ashes do not move, or fall out.
"But I think you killed my pan. And I really can't take anymore kitchen casualties, like, financially. At the moment. So..." he sets the pan back down, smiling when Eddie glares at him. He shakes his head, crosses his arms.
"You try to do something nice for your boyfriend, and what do you get? Nothin but jokes. And financial insecurity." He huffs, his nose in the air. After maybe half a second he glances at Steve.
"But yeah I can promise you that." He winks and then all but bounces back into Steve's arms, nuzzling into his neck and humming.
"Please tell me you can cook. We're gonna die if you can't. We're gonna starve to death. And I'm already precariously skinny, we can't let it get any worse. I'll be nothing but skin and bone come winter!" Eddie laments, going nearly limp in Steve's arms, trusting him to catch him, to hold him up, and he does, as he laughs.
"Worry not fair maiden. I can indeed cook. Shall I scramble you an egg? Make you some toast perhaps?" Steve asks, his hands soothing up and down Eddie's back. Eddie straightens immediately at his words and pulls back, his head cocked to the side.
"Okay toast does sound amazing but I need you know that if you keep playing along with my little dramatics like that, that pan isn't gonna be only thing I ruin in this kitchen." Eddie's cheeks are flushed, his teeth worrying into bottom lip.
"Did you mean for that sound so fucking smooth?" Steve asks, his cheeks going hot as Eddie's eyes drop to his mouth.
"Not at all! Oh my god!  I didn't even mean it like that, but it was so good!" His little excited face as he hops a few times is the best fucking thing Steve's ever seen.
"Well how bout we go ruin something in my bedroom instead. And I can make you toast, or whatever you want, after?" Steve asks, sliding his hands down Eddie's arms and tangling their fingers. Eddie nods excitedly. Steve turns to leave the kitchen and Eddie jumps on his back.
"Oof." Steve sighs.
"Sorry. Wanted a ride up the stairs. You have too many stairs in your house." Eddie whines, smiling into Steve's shoulder when he hikes his legs up and holds him.
"Hey what else can you make besides toast? Can you make soups?" Eddie asks, as Steve takes the steps slowly.
"Yep."
"Hell yes! Can you make grilled cheese?" Eddie asks.
"Yep."
"Amazing. Can you maaake.... meatloaf?" Eddie asks.
"I haven't in awhile, but I have a great recipe for it. Soooo... yes." Steve answers.
"Nice! Can you maaaakkeee.... ooohh can you make bread?" He pats at Steve's chest excitedly. Steve laughs, bounces him once as he heads down the hall to his room.
"Mhm. I can. A few different kinds." Steve hums.
"Holy shit. You're a cooking wizard! We shan't starve after all!" Eddie shouts, his voice echoing off the walls before Steve closes the door, the sound of their laughter muffled through the door as they fall into bed. Steve rolls on top of him, smiles down at him, and thanks him over and over again, through smiles and whispers and gasps and moans. Thanks him for keeping his promise. Thanks him for staying. For staying with Steve.
And Eddie tells him, in that easy way he has, quiet and intense, that there's no place else he'd rather be.
476 notes · View notes
eldritch-spouse · 6 months
Note
after some sort of “accident” in the shop, there comes to be a fleshlight that is bound to admin. everything that happens to it, admin can feel! <3 admin attempts to hide it but has to go deal with some important business and leaves it in the break room. what’s going down?
[Oooh nice!! I changed the source of the fleshlight a bit though. Fem reader.]
TW: Sex toy sharing (unsanitary); Dubcon; Double penetration in one hole.
Tumblr media
You have absolutely no idea what this is.
It felt like a joke in poor taste, at first.
This... Fleshlight -Because it can only be that- Appeared in the break floor. A deep violet case with golden swirls around the rim, featuring an uncannily realistic mold of none other than your pussy.
So many things went through your mind as you picked it up. Who could have done this? Certainly, to be here on display, only one of your staff team could have concocted such an insult.
Perhaps Santi. He did always have the strangest and lewdest gifts for everyone. He'd offered sex toys molded after notable figures before, this wouldn't be entirely uncharacteristic out of him. Did he simply forget it here or is he planning to give it to someone?
If not Santi, then maybe Nebul. He does operate the shop, and toys of all kinky kinds hold no secrets for him. He could easily make a custom one, right? But he's not the type of monster man to have such a careless lapse and forget his fleshlight on the kitchenette counter like this. This would have to be intentional of him.
It could also be Fank-e. Lord knows that robot will get his metallic little hands on any kind of genital attachment and weird toy he can find. Maybe the creep wants to use a model of your vulva as his own genitals. You wouldn't put such past him. It's a lot more likely the mechanical menace could have gotten distracted by something and left the toy out in the open.
Humming, morbid curiosity makes you gently touch the depraved imitation, fingertips dipping to scissor the thing open when you notice that it's clean.
Instant regret washes over you.
The moment you do such, it's as if phantom digits pierced into your covered cunt and physically spread you out. The thing is dropped back onto the counter and you bend to clutch your panty-covered privates as a sting of pain punishes you.
For a blank moment, you almost believe that Lord Krulu had been the one to finger you. Even if he usually likes to announce their presence before using your form. But it can't be! Your higher has been busy all day, you can feel how diminished his connection to you is right now. This is not his doing.
Paranoid, you glance behind you just to be sure that there really is no one somehow screwing with you. Predictably, you're alone.
Eyes narrowed, you pick the toy up again and reshape your approach, this time making a slow stroke up the left labia, feeling it in your right with a scary level of intensity. The quality of the material itself is strikingly life-like, not just cheap silicone. It's even... Warm? Dear Lord, it's probably the same temperature as you, as your insides. The thought has a gross kind of shiver racing up your spine. Daringly, you thumb over the imitation of your clitoris, met with direct feedback in your own body which perfectly corresponds to the tentative circular motions of your index over the sensitive bundle of nerves.
You stop the moment your knees reflexively press forward.
This... Is magic. Which puts a new candidate on the table. The thought alone makes you scoff, could Patches truly be audacious enough to do this? No. Not at all. You don't doubt he'd take a toy molded in your vague resemblance to pathetically rut into- But actually connect said thing to your body? That's already a level of courage that can't be expected of the dullahan in question.
Unless... Ah, this can be the work of his trickster counterpart. That you find more believable.
A pulse in your pocket has you setting the plaything aside to check your phone, reading the text detailing your esteemed guest's arrival.
Maintaining ties to the Rings is imperative in this stage of Krulu's vision for the future. Hell and its denizens are apparently sources of great potential in your Lord-Master's eyes, and he's been very keen in keeping close ties to the fiendish rulership of said location. You're only too happy to help forge bonds with these demonlords, which means scraping around and trying to get to know them. Ironically, it falls upon you the responsibility to tempt them into seeking contact.
Your latest endeavor of this sort involves establishing an explorative partnership with one of the demonlords' sons. He's quite the character, and now that you know he has arrived at the front of The Clergy, you can't just leave royalty waiting.
Both hands busy with texting back a hasty reply, you panic as you try to guess where you could stuff this gross little thing away. Taking it with you is not an option, there's no pocket large enough to conceal the thing and its depraved outline.
Time is not on your side.
The meeting can't take that long, can it? What if you just... Left it in one of the cupboards above the kitchenette?
Yes, and then you'll come to retrieve it, interrogate the team to find which of these losers thought it was a bright idea to play with fire.
That'll do. Hopefully.
Opening a cupboard loaded with small plates and cups, you quickly stuff the fleshlight inside and make your way over to the elevator, fixing your hair and clothes to go greet someone of great importance.
Tumblr media
Vinnel almost barges into the floor.
More of his coworkers had caught the ride up, talking amongst themselves idly, but the jester wasn't preoccupied with their small talk, he was ravenous.
The first item on his shift was a show he had been particularly looking forward to, an opportunity to test some bizarre new weaponry and a game whose rules he deliberated on for more than a week prior to the event itself. Needless to say, it was a display that took a lot of work, tears sweat and love poured into it- And fucking Hell did it pay off! He's ecstatic! And hungry. Starving.
Doing a good show always gets his stomach riled up.
Some flecks of blood still covering his suit, Vinnel is quick to dart to the kitchenette, ignoring anything and everything as he rummaged around for snacks that aren't there.
His temper spikes when the fridge is devoid of meals.
" Chef! " He barks, turning to the blue shroom monster in question, who is only now just setting his apron aside. Morell rises a brow. " You're slacking! "
The large monster scoffs into his scarf. " None o' you assholes got a fuckin' hint of shame, do ya?! " His locker door slams shut. " Ah ain't gonna cook for ya every single day! "
" But- What are we supposed to do then? Starve? " The waiter whines, making big twinkling magenta eyes at the other.
" Not fallin' for it. " Is Morell's flat response.
" Have you tried making your own food? " A bartender chimes in. " I know doing anything for yourself is challenging for you, but give it a try. "
" Rich coming from someone that can't cook for the life of him. "
The jester has entirely disconnected from the banter going on, a shred of hope driving him to keep searching fruitlessly. It's not as if he believes anything to be in the top shelves where cutlery is stored, but maybe one of them could be hiding some type of candy?
Slamming cabinets and cupboards open, the last thing he expects is for something to fall off them. So he nearly jumps in the air when a sizable object tumbles from the cupboard shelf right onto the carpeted ground.
The floor becomes silent, everyone stares blankly at the item in question for a pregnant pause.
Gloved orange digits pick the thing up, Vinnel bringing it closer to his mask. " Huh. "
He knows what it is exactly.
It looks very high-quality, and clean thankfully. Vinnel swears something about the model itself looks... Almost familiar. Hm. Nevertheless, laugher starts bubbling out his chest and he sways his head, juggling the thing.
" Ohohohoho!! " The next time the toy falls, Vinnel grips it viciously and points the thing right at-
" Morell! Such interesting kitchen utensils you have here... "
" Wha- That ain't mine! " The shroom retorts a little too fast.
" Suure. Then why was it in the cupboard, buddy? "
There's a glare, people around the chef are beginning to murmur amongst themselves.
" Like Hell ah know! For all I fuckin' know, ya could'a been tha one to put it there and fake tha whole thing- 'S yours! "
Vinnel titters, clapping as best as he can with his occupied hand. " Oh no, you think that lowly of little old me? " A feigned gesture of offense is met with no sympathy from the rest of the staff team, who do, in fact, think that lowly of the jester. " Unfortunately no, I don't usually perform tricks with fucktoys... Not the silicone ones anyway. "
" Well it ain't mine. " Morell insists. " Which one o' ya little sickos put a fuckin' pocket pussy in the kitchen? "
The suited performer, still vaguely examining the thing, finding it to be a little heavier than most of these toys tend to be given the materials involved in their manufacturing, swivels his head towards the next suspect.
" Sex pest! "
Santi, already very interested in the turn of events this day is taking, smiles as if just having been complimented. " Yes? "
" Why did you put your fucktoy here? " The performer looms over his demonic coworker, accusatory and demeaning. " So we could find it? So you could be gross about it, hm? "
The incubus hums, eyes on the toy rather than his frilled coworker. " Mm no, that's not my toy sweetheart. Though do let me have a closer look, maybe I can find a trace of our dirty little culprit... "
" Liar! " Vinnel spits.
Santi chuckles, making a move to grab the object yet thwarted when Vinnel angles it away.
" And why would I lie, love? If it was mine I'd tell you readily. I've brought toys to work before, haven't I? Never lied about it. "
And he's right, much to the jester's chagrin. The incubus could bring a cum-soaked dildo into this floor shamelessly, he wouldn't lie about a fleshlight.
Vinnel growls and floats back to point it directly at Nebul, but the shopkeeper beats him to the punch.
" I do not bring items from the shop into the break floor. Furthermore, I don't recognize that model. Does it have a brand? "
The jester checks, flipping the thing in all angles only to find neither words nor numbers printed anywhere. He glances to the crowd around him again, gears turning, machinating, until his attention falls on the dullahan, making Vinnel dart to him.
" You've been far too quiet this whole time, gourd brains... " He accuses, painted eyes narrowing.
Patches flusters, arms raised and leaning back. " What- What do you want me to say? I don't- "
That vegetable expression shifts suddenly, going from uncomfortable and anxious to complete focus. It's enough to make the jester tilt his head. " What? "
" That thing is brimming with magic. " He points out, leaning closer as if the gesture could reveal more by itself.
" ... Is it now? " Vinnel won't lie. It's a possibility. The fleshlight looks and feels anything but normal.
" You- You do know what that means, right? " Patches fumbles, squirming in mild discomfort. Those green cheeks acquire a tint that makes the jester's eyes roll in irritation behind his mask.
" Oh do fucking enlighten me, you masochistic kabocha. "
" Boys, boys- " Santi starts, tail wagging as he wedges himself between the two men. " We're missing the point. I've seen this before. That little thing is connected to some poor sap. And, if I'm not suddenly visually impaired, it looks extremely human to me. "
Another moment of silence stretches across the room
The jester's inked grin widens, and armed with a brand new realization, he starts feathering his digits along the edges of the pocket pussy's entrance, paying close attention to it. His mask nearly falls off when the thing physically seems to twitch. Uhuhu!
" No. " Belo begins, pointing a trembling finger at the demon. " You wouldn't dare suggest- "
" That our lovely Administrator has sent us a gift? " Santi challenges, tone sultry. " But of course, Belo! This is a reward for our hard work, and ohh, I just can't wait to make the most of it. "
Vinnel has now managed to slip one finger inside, completely tuned off to the conversation happening right next to him. Shock of all shocks, the thing hugs his digit as if it were real. And, as he experimentally removes the intrusion, a sheen of what can only be arousal wets his gloves. It really is you. He just fingered you. Hah!
" Filthy beast! You shall not touch that, this can't be right. " The angel's wings flex and twitch in growing agitation. As always, he seems very eager to try to choke the life out of Santi- And he would, if he didn't already know that the demon would immediately salaciously get off on it.
" But what if it is? What if she wants us all to take turns, experience her supple little cunt? " He taunts, surfing the room, gouging the reactions of his coworkers as most of them flush with sudden want at the idea. Yes, they like it as much as he does, Santi's just honest about it. " Would you reject her gift, Belo? "
The power in question is puffed like an angered parakeet, a myriad of emotions warring in those expressive, large eyes. " Control that foul tongue of yours lest I rip it off your worthless mouth and make your depraved clients very disappointed. "
" One day you'll revel in your own perversions. " He says it calmly, as if it were fact, grinning when the angel prepares another outburst.
" Guys. "
Vinnel is now two fingers deep into the magical fleshlight, a stupefied look on his face as he finds the toy -You- Welcoming him without resistance. You clench around him. Gods, he can't wait to stuff his cock in there, to fuck you, to rail you knowing that you can't do anything to stop him. At least not until you find him. Oh, he could make a game out of it!
" She's practically dripping. " The jester pulls both fingers out, spreading them to showcase a film of arousal between both digits.
" She's... Enjoying this. " Patches murmurs, breathy, fixated on the dirty gleam.
" Alright, if you're done being manchildren, I want to go first. " The slime suddenly pipes up, moving in on the stage performer.
" My ass you will! " Grimbly gets in the way, scoffing.
Vinnel finds a crowd of monsters suddenly gather around him, hands twitching for the item in his hands, eyes glinting like wolves corralling a chicken in its coop.
" Give me that, jester, it needs to be secured somewhere safely- "
" No no, give it to me, I'll make her feel so good! "
" Maybe if I have it, I- I can tell whose magic this is. "
" It was in mah cupboard, maybe she wants me ta be first! "
" Nuh uh!! " The jester suddenly shouts, floating higher in the air. " Finders keepers! Piss off! "
An ashy hand clamps around his ankle, jostling the bells there. " Were you not accusing us of being perverse? Let us take that dirty thing off your hands. " Nebul beckons.
As he's tugged down, Vinnel deforms his limbs inside his suit to twist away from the hands pawing at him. Growling, he pulls away, towards the window, towards the outside. If he can make it through the window, a significant portion of the staff team will be halted in their pursuit. He might get to hide with the toy and keep it all for himself.
Gallon, anticipating this, moves fast. Yellow tendrils coil over both the jester's legs and waist, trying to pull the extended arm back into the room even as Vinnel tries his damndest to keep it at out, his arm bending weirdly inside its red sleeve.
" Fuck off! All of you sad sacks of shit- This is MINE! " The slime gargles and screams, other hand clinging to the tall window's edge as tightly as possible. " I found it! "
" Stop strugglin' boy. We gonna talk this out. " The chef chuckles, successfully using brute strength to start pulling him inside.
The others help. He's fighting a losing battle and he knows it.
As soon as the performer feels a disturbance in the fabric of his suit's composition, he freezes. Primal, soul-shaking terror, grabs a hold of his body and he gasps, shrieking as he drops both hands to instantly claw, kick and try to mangle whoever's about to possibly rip his suit.
There's a chorus of pained cries and he's thrown to the ground, clinging to his form for dear life. Literally. Because if anything opened, he would potentially leak to the carpet and meet his end very quickly.
" Gah-! You useless clown! He dropped it! " The bat squeals, a high-pitched noise that grates on everyone's ears.
Vinnel startles. His possible panic attack and frantic body checking is halted by the sudden realization that yes, he did drop the fleshlight in his panic. That means...
The orange and purple menace stumbles to a stand shoving the group bent over the window aside to poke his head out and see for himself where the sex toy landed. After a few grunts and curses, the view is revealed.
On the grass of the garden outside the building, the toy landed sideways, rolling aimlessly over mutated flowers that lean away from the unidentified object. There's a beat of stillness.
Everyone knows it's only a matter of time until the thing is retrieved, possibly by a client, which means they'd have to waste time hunting for a random loser before getting to their prize. They exchange stares, aware that as soon as someone moves, the hunt is one, the game starts.
And yet, before even a step towards the elevator is taken, the scene below them changes.
A bench sat some distance away uncurls, black iron body turning into a grayed gangly mass with a wooden chest for a head, teeth poking out of it. Said monster seems to stretch himself before moving on all fours to inspect the thing.
Sybastian squats, picks up the fleshlight. Although his eyes are hidden in the great darkness of his objectum head, everyone can practically see the gears turning in his head.
The mimic glances up, perplexed yellow eyes staring dubiously at his coworkers.
" Syb. " Patches calls, reaching a hand out. " That is very special, leave it there. Do not touch it- "
Too late.
" No! No!! "
He found a toy, he's going to play with it. Sybastian starts hurriedly moving out of view.
" Motherfucker! I'll gut you! " Vinnel screeches, banging uselessly on the building's exterior.
" Blasted mimic... " Belo is the first to peel off the window. " What do we do now?! "
" Well... " Morell sighs, pulling his apron back on while everyone sulks and simmers.
" We go huntin'. "
Tumblr media
Huh.
Isn't that one way to wake up...
Sybastian's nap had been disturbed when he sensed an impact nearby. It couldn't have been something very large, but part of his hunting routine involves being in that fine line between resting and alert enough to sense the faintest vibrations, categorize them as noteworthy or not on a subconscious level. His curiosity had him rising anyway, shedding his disguise and following the direction of the sound until he found...
A sex toy.
In the middle of the grass.
His eyes don't deceive him, he knows what kind of toy this is, has seen them in the undead's shop. They're the kind you can fuck into, small and convenient.
He was unsure as to why such a thing had been tossed out, so he looked around and found most of his coworkers already fixed on him. It didn't take a genius to piece together the fact that they had been likely squabbling over the thing.
Yet, oddly, it didn't smell used. In fact, it featured an odor Sybastian could swear he's had his face buried in before.
The mischief of his nature acted up, and the mimic crawled away with the toy held in his maw.
He knows the rest of them will come looking for him immediately, so the mimic scurries deep into the less stable parts of the garden- Where Hellion tends to dwell. The parts that can shift, remold and relocate themselves in the blink of an eye as the establishment periodically "refreshes" itself. It's a gamble, he admits, but it's the only place staff will hesitate to enter due to its volatile nature. Sybastian is more well-equipped to deal with these areas, given he spends most of the time in the garden, has learned many of its tricks.
Let them bump around like blind moles.
Eventually, Sybastian finds an area dense in plantlife, a good distance away from the main building already, and sensing no approaching threats, the mimic seats himself next to a wide trunk, spitting his conquest into his hands and taking the time to examine it.
It's a fancy fuck-pocket alright.
Curious about the scent, he drags the thin end of his tongue across the length of the artificial pussy, eyes widening when taste hits him. Not just any taste, arousal and wetness and- Human. A human he's put that same roving muscle upon before.
You.
Sybastian is certain these things aren't meant to have such specific tastes. He's not sure how such a thing came into being, a carbon sort of copy of your cunt, but he understands why the others were fighting over it. Syb would too.
A little thrill crawls along the length of his spine.
No time to waste, he better make use of this before he's accosted by a swarm of angry monsters.
The mimic drools and smiles as he pushes a good portion of his deep blue tongue past sweet folds and into the surprisingly warm, hugging insides of the toy. He removes his loincloth hastily and palms his already chubbing cock to the thought of you flipping your work outfit up and spreading yourself out so he can have full access to that puffy pussy. The mental image of your provocative, inviting smile while you grab onto the fat of your ass has him moaning, dick pulsing.
Fucking the pathetic little escapists is one thing, but nothing beats your delicious, perfect holes. You have everyone here by the balls and Sybastian is no different.
Releasing a filthy murr of anticipation, the mimic's shackles rattle as he brings the now thoroughly slobbered pocket pussy down, teasing it along the head of his cock.
Oh, if all of them feel this real then he really has to bother Nebul for one.
Sybastian swears he feels it quiver against his length, panting as soon as he starts sinking it onto his thick length. The moment his tip pops in, he rumbles, feeling its walls immediately clinging to him, spasming in such a life-like manner he can't help bucking into it, greedily and impatiently stuffing more of himself into the exceptionally pleasurable fucktoy.
He couldn't take it slow even if he wanted to, claws curling viciously around the purple tube as he starts jerking himself off with it in earnest, loud groans echoing amidst his panting. It feels exactly like you! Hot and tight and spongy and so so good, he loves to fuck you- This is going to be his favorite toy ever.
Syb's hips snap into a grossly desperate rhythm, a lurid plap of skin on wet artificial skin as his balls hit it with every senseless rut upwards. His maw closes slightly, the mimic's eyes glaze and he pictures you there. On his lap, back turned to him, juicy ass on full display while you put both palms on his gangly knees and ride the monster for all he's worth, milking his cock and drooling like you've never had better.
Gods, if Sybastian focuses enough, he can almost feel the softness of your rump on him with each thrust. He wishes he could grab onto your waist, onto the cushion there, and use you the same way he's using this copy to breed into.
You're the hottest, prettiest little human he'll ever have the opportunity to stuff himself into.
There isn't a single intelligent thought in Sybastian's head when he starts grinding the pocket-pussy down, the tensing of his legs and abdomen bringing him ever closer to that sweet release, and he's looking forward to flooding the fucktoy full of his cum, feeling it clench heavenly around him the same it has been for a while now.
With one last, obscenely loud slap of his meat into the fleshlight, Sybastian howls and throbs hard, coming undone with great intensity and melting onto the grassy ground, the feeling of his own hot jizz spurting out the toy and leaking past his balls to coat this thighs a depraved sign of his victory.
He lies there, boneless from his own orgasm, hand still clumsily dragging your toy up and down his now spent cock, and all is well for a blissful moment.
...
Until-
" Bravo. Mm, good show... "
Sybastian peers up, not as sharp as he would be now that he's disoriented from cumming. A pair of glowing green eyes poise on him, and none other than the incubus makes it past the foliage of this part of the garden.
He's vaguely surprised the other was brave enough to come here.
" What? " Santi places a hand to his hip. " Thought I wouldn't find you? I could smell you getting off like a rabid animal, you need more than greenery to hide from me. "
Fair. Syb was being loud too. He doesn't let go of the toy however, suspiciously allowing the demon to lewdly scheme the dirty mess between his legs.
" Hand me the fleshlight, love. "
There's a growl. Santi frowns.
" Oh come now, you greedy slut, I'll make sure you get something out of it too. " He lulls, drawing closer slowly, to the point where he stands in front of the mimic, before crouching.
Sybastian keeps growling faintly, pulling out of the fleshlight to hold it away from the high-ranker, a gross pool of cum still oozing off the recently used thing. He doesn't miss the way the incubus' nostrils flare.
" Why, I'll even tell you a little secret, hm? "
Santi crawls between the mimic's legs, collecting a bead of the monster's cum and putting it to his mouth, luridly sucking the fluid off his finger before spitting onto his palm and using it to stroke Sybastian.
What begins as overstimulated shocks that force his legs to twitch and squirm away is forcibly turned into a brand new wave of arousal and need. He doesn't fight it, letting himself get stimulated anew and only offering a little bit of resistance when Santi pulls the fucktoy out of his grasp.
If he's here... Where are the others?
" What if I told you this little thing here- " Santi starts, selfishly and deliberately fingering globs of cum out of the toy for his own amusement. Syb notes the rigid length bobbing between his coworker's dark thighs. " Is loaded with magic? "
A toothy head tilts in confusion. Sybastian kind of assumed there was something unknown at play here, he just can't tell the implications.
" You can smell it, right? You know who this reminds you of. "
Syb's eyes widen.
" Did you also know that this fleshlight is connected to our Admin? She felt everything you just did to her, Sybastian. " The incubus chuckles, letting his drool seep onto the rim of your pussy, then spreading the aphrodisiac fluid over your lips, circling you clit with it languidly.
Sybastian doesn't need to be a scientist to know you're probably losing your mind by now.
" Oh you fucked her open like a rabid bull. I wish I could see her state right now- I bet she's sweating a storm in her clothes, her own cum and wetness dripping down her legs, too cock-drunk to speak! What a good job you did... "
Sybastian spaces off slightly, picturing what the results of his careless and selfish fucking must have reduced you to. He almost feels bad, if the image the Lust demon painted in his head wasn't so awfully erotic. He literally used you.
" Mmm, now, let's give her something to really scream about, big boy. "
In a blur of movement, Santi presses against the gray monster, both lengths squeezed together, pumped hastily a couple times but with practiced precision that makes Syb groan. And then, much to his growing amusement and shock, the incubus hovers your toy above them both, strings of falling seed used to further lubricate both of them.
The demon looks to be burning with anticipation, shuddering as he presses the thing down.
" ... Won't. Fit. " The mimic eventually mumbles, wondering if Santi's intent is to actually rip you open.
" Don't be silly- " There's a rasped snicker. " I've seen her bounce on Lord Krulu's lap. Just lie back and let me make this memorable for the three of us. "
It's a stretch. A fat stretch, but it seems the magical properties of the toy are indeed aligned with your own physical limitations, because the fleshlight gradually accepts both monsters, clenching with mind-melting pressure against both leaking cocks.
Santi is the first to moan low and needy, claws sinking into the bark of the tree his coworker leans against so he can steady himself in the face of such sudden ecstasy. Sybastian follows with his own trill, their members twitching and pulsing, trapped against each other, within you.
When Syb makes a disoriented motion to try and grasp the thing, make it move over them both, the incubus snaps his teeth at him in a language the other understands, determined to control the pace. And control he does, viciously pumping them both off, twisting, grinding the thing frequently.
A pace that would otherwise certainly chafe both males is now sloppy and soaked, lubricated by Syb's seed, your wetness and Santi's precum. They fuck themselves silly, trading groans and frantically bumping their hips, one moment thrusting in perfect sync, the next selfishly seeking their own pleasure.
The incubus' tongue hangs and he tosses his head back when a certain familiar pace of contractions around him is felt.
" Oh- Ohhh fuck- " He calls to the other. " Feel that? Yeah? " Sybastian nods and makes a strangled ambiguous noise. " She's cumming. Hard. "
Both of them grow fevered, preening at the knowledge.
" I hope she's fucking screaming. I hope she's trying to guess who we are. "
The fiend had always been too good with his obscene little comments, Sybastian's second, overstimulated orgasm is flayed out of him with no ounce of mercy. Santi gets almost hysterical with the conquest, getting high off the power he's exerting over both you and the mimic, climbing to his peak and letting his eyes roll back when the first pulses of an approaching end seize him.
The only reason he doesn't scream when he's suddenly grabbed by the horns is because there was already little breath in his lungs to begin with.
A pair of metallic, sticker-adorned arms loom from above, rigged hands wrenching his head back to face a slightly cracked visor displaying a deceitfully friendly face.
" 1'll B3 t4k1Ng 7H4t N0w. :] "
Fuck.
His robotic coworker uses superior reflexes to grab the toy, wrench it off both monsters, and bolt out of sight with surprising speed for a being of such immense density.
Instincts claw at the hellish monster. He only stands there for a stunned second, clutching nothing but air, before he's snarling like a feral creature and racing after the party bot, pushing many of his other coworkers away.
Grimbly gains on all of them, but when the incubus drops onto all fours the two collide and roll away in a mess of shouting limbs.
Gallon passes by them and laughs, then gets lashed aside by a whip lit on dullahan fire.
Vinnel is thrown across the garden, apparently launched away by Fank-e cackling in the distance.
This isn't ending any time soon...
903 notes · View notes
ohnoitstbskyen · 2 months
Note
I know it would probably bring a lot of hate comments but I am begging you to roast the hazbin character designs because I'd love to have someone properly articulate why they don't work so I could send it to people who won't believe me when I tell them. 🫠 Understandable if you don't want to get into it though.
I don't think there's that much there to roast, honestly?
Those designs are clearly an extremely specific stylistic choice, and because that style is consistent throughout the show, it ultimately feels coherent with itself.
There are trade-offs being made. Because Hazbin's design style is SO stylized and so heavy on decoration and detailing, because it puts a lot of emphasis on costuming, it isn't as good at communicating specific character storytelling as a more grounded style could be (it's kind of the same tradeoff that stuff like Genshin Impact makes).
Like, why does Sir Pentious' hat have an eye and a mouth on it that makes its own expressions? Apparently not for very much reason at all, except that Pentious has a bit of an eyes-motif going on in his design and it was one more place to put an extra eye. And that's a valid criticism of his design, but also the entire show is designed like that, so frankly it would be weirder and more out of place if his design alone didn't have that kind of overelaborate decoration going on.
It does create a situation where I have a hard time "reading" the character designs sometimes. For example, Vox, Alastor and Pentious all wear a similar style of suit with upwards-turned shoulders, butterflies and pinstripes. Now, am I meant to read that as Vox imitating Alastor due to his crippling need to replace and outdo him, and Pentious imitating the style of powerful Overlords because he thinks that possessing their level of power will finally give him relief from his paranoia and self-loathing?
Or is it just a design fixation of the creator who keeps putting their characters in suits because that's just what they like? I can't really be sure, because sometimes design elements are used to intentionally tell stories about how characters relate to themselves, their world and one another, but plenty of other times designs look the way they do Because Of Vibes.
But again, that lack of clarity is clearly an intentional trade-off - and the benefit of that trade-off is a design style that is extremely varied, wild, expressive and memorable. Hazbin Hotel seems like a very easy show to draw fanart of, and a very fun show to draw fanart of. Those designs (especially the hyper-expressive faces) are begging to be the subjects of traumatic headcanons, unbearably cotton-candy soft fluff fantasies and weird, taboo, homoerotic power dynamics. Slaps roof of character design, this bad boy can express so much vicarious emotional intensity.
It's very exuberant, very excited about itself and very self-indulgent, it's a style that prioritizes visual impact and visual interest over readability (something which the animators of the show navigate with real skill, props to them) and individual aesthetics over worldbuilding.
And I don't blame anyone for being turned off by that (I certainly was the first time I started seeing those designs going around), but I would struggle to call the show's designs "bad" when they are clearly achieving exactly what they want to achieve.
I have some criticisms, especially re: how the show treats skinny bodies as an unquestioned, desirable default, and employs fatness as a means of alienating and abjecting the audience. That sucks very badly, and is a serious disappointment, and one of the few places where the show feels like it is being cowardly in its design philosophy. But I don't have it in me to do some kind of Hazbin Hotel Sucks And Here's Why takedown, its problems are not unique or extreme enough to warrant it, at least not as I currently understand them.
576 notes · View notes
quinzzelx · 22 days
Text
Shadows and Starlight
Part 3
Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: You and Azriel finally get it on.
Chapter 01 // Chapter 02
Word Count: 7K Oh lord
Warnings: This is pure filth! 18+ NSFW content. Explicit sexual content. Fluff! This can be read as a stand-alone if you don't want to read the first two parts- I'd still recommend reading the first two chapters. I have not proofread this yet!! There might be reoccurring words, weird sentences and/or grammar issues. I will do this as soon as I can.
A/N: Oh DAMN!! I popped this out in no time! This had me feeling some ways while writing. I am still so overwhelmed by the positive feedback I've received. You guys have honestly no idea how much this means to me. Sooooo, I really do hope you enjoy this! Let me know what you think, always happy about feedback.
☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆
The satin sheets felt cool and smooth between your fingers as you fisted them with your hands. Cauldron, you had fought battles before, wars even, but right now with the way Azriel hovered over you, you knew you stood no chance. Whatever he wanted, you would yield to him, give it to him, everything, your whole being entirely. Only the moon’s light and the bright flashes of the falling stars outside illuminated the room. “How long?” The question left him with a slow exhale, voice raspy and strained.
Your heart was pounding with such favor and strength, so loud that you barely could hear what he just said, the question he had just asked. “What?” A yelp left your kiss-bruised lips when you felt his hands move to your thighs, squeezing them and yanking you forward a bit so that you sat at the edge of the bed, his bed. Every bit of air left your lungs then as he slowly bent over from his position standing in front of you, leaning over your flustered form. He gripped your chin, tilting it upwards gently to catch your eyes with his. “How long have you known for?” He clarified, eyes narrowing slightly at the possibilities of why you wouldn’t have told him earlier. Maybe you did not want him. Maybe your heart already belonged to someone else.
There was no anger in his voice as he spoke to you. “Just now.” You gasp when you feel the hand holding your chin up slightly wrap around your throat, his thumb brushing over your pulse point lightly. While his grip was strong enough to keep you still, head still tilted up to look at him, it was gentle, soft. One of your own hands found their way over the one wrapped around your neck. Hazel trailed down to watch where yours now clasped his, watching as your throat bobbed while you swallowed. He wanted to groan at the way you were looking at him when his eyes met yours again.
“Was that what you wanted to tell me before Feyre interrupted you?” His brows furrowed slightly when you shook your head lightly, as much as shaking your head was possible with his hand wrapped around your throat. You bit your lower lip slightly, breathing heavily. “No. It only snapped shortly after you kissed me.” Azriel found himself captivated by the way your chest rose and fell with every ragged breath you took. Captivated by how his hand felt wrapped around your throat, how it felt every time you swallowed, and how fast your heart was beating.
“I wanted to tell you how helplessly in love I am with you.” Your voice was shaky, mind clouded by the intensity of your emotions. Azriel shut his eyes then, letting his forehead fall to yours. In the charged silence that followed your confession, Azriel's grip on your throat tightened ever so slightly, a primal instinct surging within him at the vulnerability of your admission. His breath came out in short, ragged bursts, his chest rising and falling in tandem with yours as he struggled to process the weight of your words.
When he finally opened his eyes, the molten gold of his gaze bore into yours with a fierce intensity, as if searching for the truth hidden within the depths of your soul. "You have no idea what you do to me," he whispered hoarsely, his voice thick with emotion. With a shaky exhale, you leaned into his touch, the heat of his body searing against your skin. "I need you, Azriel," you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper. "More than I've ever needed anything in my life."
Guided by pure need and longing, his lips crashed against yours once more, capturing your lips with his in a heated kiss. For months, he had wrestled with the forbidden fantasies that tormented his mind, visions of your body pressed against his, of the intoxicating taste of your lips against his own. The longing had gnawed at him, a relentless ache that he could neither place nor explain. Despite his best efforts to bury his feelings for you deep within his soul, they had persisted, growing stronger with each passing day until they became an undeniable force that drove him to the brink of madness. He had spent countless nights hating himself for thinking about you in such scandalous ways, but never dared to entertain the idea that you could be his Mate. And yet, here you were, in his arms, igniting a fire within him that burned brighter than any star in the night sky.
He cursed himself for his blindness, for allowing his fears and insecurities to cloud his judgment for so long. You had been there all along, his steadfast companion, his confidante, his best friend. And yet, he had been too blind to see what was right in front of him, too enamored by his love for Mor and lusting after Elain, too afraid to acknowledge the longing that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.
But now, as he held you in his arms, the truth was undeniable. You were his Mate, chosen by the Mother herself to be his partner, his equal. And as that realization washed over him, a surge of raw emotion coursed through his veins, overwhelming him with a sense of gratitude and awe.
His voice, though still tender, took on a more daring tone as he spoke, his hands trailing over the delicate lace adorning your dress. The fabric felt soft and delicate beneath the rough texture of his scarred fingers. "You're not just my equal," he murmured, his voice low and husky, "you're my other half, the missing piece of my soul. And I intend to cherish and adore you for all eternity, to worship every inch of your body as if it were my sanctuary." Your breath hitched, a soft moan escaping your parted lips. The tightness of your dress felt suffocating now, chest heaving.
Azriel straightens his back, now standing to his full height in front of you. Holding your eyes captured with his, his hands wander to the top-button of his black shirt. There was a unspoken promise in the way he looked down at you. As he stood before you, his wings casting a mesmerizing shadow in the moonlit room, you couldn't tear your gaze away from him. His fingers deftly undid the buttons of his shirt, revealing the intricate tattoos that adorned his muscular chest, you couldn't help but admire the sight before you. With each button released, your anticipation grew, the desire to feel his skin against yours overwhelming your senses.
His lips ghost over your neck then, inhaling your scent. A guttural snarl leaves him as he smells just how turned on you are, letting his lips trail up your neck to the shell of your ear. "You're mine" With a soft gasp, you tilted your head back, offering him better access to your neck. "Yours," you whispered breathlessly. Azriel nips at the skin just beneath your ear then. “So. Fucking. Intoxicating.” He raps in between hot open-mouthed kisses that trail back down your throat, ending at your collarbone.
Standing up from the edge of the bed, you closed the distance between you. Your fingers trembled slightly as you reached out, trailing them along the exposed skin of his chest, tracing along the lines of his tattoos, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. His head was tilted down, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. Azriel's gaze never leaves you as you explore his body, his eyes dark with longing and something deeper. He remains silent, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath, a silent invitation for you to continue your exploration. With each button that came undone, revealing more of his sculpted physique, your heart raced faster.
When the last button was undone, you pushed the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. His skin was warm beneath your touch, his muscles tense with anticipation. "You're so beautiful," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the sound of your racing heartbeat.
"I want to feel every inch of you." With a low growl, Azriel's lips brushed against the shell of your ear again as he spoke, his voice thick with want. "Then feel," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. As he turned you around, pressing his front into your back, you could feel the hard bulge of his arousal pressing against your lower back.
"Can you feel what you do to me?" Azriel's voice was a husky whisper against your ear as his front pressed into you, his painfully hard cock straining in his pants, hands trailing over the scarred skin of your back. You shivered at his touch, feeling the warmth of his hands as they came to a halt where the fabric of your dress starts again, right where your skin would dip into the curve of your ass. He wanted to rip that god-forsaken dress right from your body.
“I can't take it anymore," Azriel groaned, his voice thick with lust as he began unbuttoning the dress, his fingers trembling with anticipation. Each button that came undone sent a jolt of electricity coursing through both of you, the tension between you reaching its breaking point. When he reached the last button, just beneath your ass, his breath caught in his throat as he realized you weren't wearing any underwear. With a low growl, he threw his head back in frustration, calling you naughty as he slipped the straps of your dress off your shoulders.
Pressing a kiss to the spot where the straps had left small indents in your skin, he murmured against your ear, "You're driving me insane, you know that?"
You could only whimper in response, the intensity of his touch leaving you breathless and desperate for more. As he peeled the dress from your body, revealing every inch of your skin to him. “It’s quite common to-“  Your attempt to explain the impracticality of wearing anything underneath these dresses is cut short when Azriel kneels behind you, pulling the dress down to the floor with him. The words die in your throat as his lips press against the middle of the small of your back, sending shivers cascading down your spine. His touch and the cold air hitting your perked breasts makes your nipples harden.
You gasp as his kisses trail downwards, his lips leaving a scorching trail along your skin. When he reaches the curve of your ass, you feel his teeth graze over the soft flesh, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. Your hands grip the edge of the bed tightly as you arch your back, offering yourself to him completely.
As you step out of the dress, Azriel pushes it aside, his gaze drinking in the sight of you standing before him in all your glory. His hands start at your calves, moving upward with deliberate intent until they come to rest on your ass cheeks, kneading them with a gentle yet firm touch. Azriel's eyes darken as he notices the slick coating your inner thigh, a silent testament to your arousal. With a low growl, he lets one of his hands travel there, his thumb grazing dangerously close to where you need him the most as he gathers some of your slick with his fingers. God's, you were so wet for him.
He hums satisfied when your body trembles under his touch, hands wandering to grip your hips again. "Turn around." He orders softly, urging you with his grip on your hips. As you turn to face him, your breath catches in your throat at the sight of Azriel kneeling before you, his eyes dark with lust, his gaze locked onto yours with an intensity that sends a thrill coursing through your veins. His tousled hair frames his face, adding to the raw allure of the moment, and you can't help but feel heat pool in between your legs.
His smirk only adds to the tension between you, his arm wrapping around the back of your legs to keep you steady. With a boldness that surprises even yourself, you reach out to run your fingers through his hair, relishing in the sensation of the soft strands beneath your touch. Azriel's eyes flutter closed briefly at your touch, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he leans into your hand, savoring the feeling of your touch against his skin. He opens his eyes again, his meeting yours immediately. "Remember what I said earlier?" He tilts his head in question, his gaze slowly raking down from your face to take in your breasts, flushed and perked, begging for attention, trailing down further to the curve of your hips, trailing even further to level his gaze, looking at your dripping cunt briefly. Pressing a heated kiss to one of the scars adorning your stomach then, he exhales sharply, the heat of his breath on your wet skin making you shiver. "It's hard to remember anything right now." You say with a gulp, struggling to even form words right now. His chuckles softly. "I said." He pauses, grasping your thighs with both of his hands now. "That I wanted your legs to frame my face."
Azriel's words send a jolt coursing through you. Your breath hitches as his hands grip your thighs firmly, his touch sending a jolt through you. With a shaky exhale, you nod in response, your gaze locked onto his with a mixture of pure need and anticipation. "I remember," you manage to reply, your voice barely above a whisper.
His smirk deepens at your response, his eyes gleaming with primal hunger as he leans in closer, his breath hot against your skin. "Good," he murmurs huskily, his lips trailing fiery kisses along the curve of your hip. He needed to taste you, feel you dripping on his tongue, needing to know if you tasted as sweet as you smelled.
Unable to contain your own arousal any longer, you whimper softly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you guide him closer to where you need him most. "May I?" he asks, looking up at you again. Something tells you that he was at the brink of losing all his restraint, but if you now said you wanted to stop, he would immediately. You nod eagerly in response, unable to find the words to express the overwhelming need that consumes you. "Yes," you breathe out, your voice barely a whisper, but it's all the permission he needs.
He pulls apart your legs slightly, all while holding eye contact. Subsequently, he tilts his head slightly angling himself and dives in. His tongue falls out, dragging along your folds hungrily, his nose brushes and presses into your clit. A sinful groan leaves him when he tastes your arousal on his tongue, sending vibrations through your core. Fuck, if he wasn’t holding you up with one of his arms, supporting your weight, you would have fallen to your knees right then. Your back arches involuntarily at the sensation, a low moan escaping your lips as pleasure courses through your entire body. Azriel's touch ignites an inferno within you, burning hotter and brighter with each tantalizing stroke of his tongue.
With each flick and swirl, he sends ripples of ecstasy coursing through you, drawing forth gasps and whimpers that echo in the stillness of the room. Azriel's voice is husky and thick as he speaks, his breath hot against your heated skin. "You taste divine” And god’s you did, if he were to die with his tongue buried inside your pussy, he would die a happy male.
You can't help but moan in response, the sound a melodic symphony of pleasure as Azriel's tongue continues its relentless assault on your senses. His hands both wrap around your middle then, pulling you flush against his mouth, as if he was trying to drown between your legs. When his tongue delivers a particularly harsh flick over your bundle of nerves, you can't help but react, gritting your teeth and pulling on his hair in a desperate attempt to anchor yourself amidst the storm of sensation. The action elicits a deep, guttural groan from Azriel, his own pleasure evident in the way his body responds to your touch. Shit, he liked that.
Azriel pulls back with an embarrassingly wet, squelching sound, his lips swollen and his eyes heavy-lidded as he gazes up at you. A glistening trail of your essence adorns his chin, evidence of the pleasure he has bestowed upon you. Lazily, he licks his lips, savoring the taste of you as he takes in the sight before him. Your face is flushed, your chest heaving as you struggle to catch your breath. Every nerve in your body is alight with sensation, your mind reeling from the intensity of the experience. With a soft sigh, Azriel leans forward, pressing a tender kiss to your inner thigh before rising to his feet. The intensity of his gaze never wavers as he meets your eyes, heavy breaths mingling together.
Without a word, you lean forward, closing the distance between you, and your lips meet in a searing kiss. As your lips mold together, you can taste yourself on his lips, a heady mix of your arousal and his own taste. Azriel responds eagerly to your kiss, his arms wrapping around you as he pulls you closer, deepening the connection between you. His hand wanders to cup your breast, kneading the soft flesh with a gentle touch, making a shiver run down your spine at his words. "You're perfect," he murmurs against your lips, his voice husky. "With every scar," he adds softly, his fingers tracing the lines of your skin, "every imperfection, you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
His touch is gentle, reverent, as if he's tracing a map of your soul with his fingertips. And in that moment, you feel seen, truly seen, in a way you've never experienced before. It's as if Azriel is not only exploring the physical contours of your body but also the hidden depths of your being, embracing every part of you with unwavering acceptance and love.
Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you gaze into Azriel's, overwhelmed by the depth of emotion in his words and the tenderness of his touch. "Thank you," you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion. "For seeing me, for loving me just as I am." You press your forehead against his, your heart overflowing with love for this remarkable male who has captured your soul so completely. “I love you, Azriel.”
Azriel's gaze softens even further as he listens to your heartfelt words, a gentle smile playing on his lips. He brushes his thumb against your cheek, wiping away the tears that threaten to fall. "You don't have to thank me," he murmurs, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "Loving you comes as naturally to me as breathing. You've always been perfect to me." He leans in to press a tender kiss to your forehead, his arms wrapping around you in a comforting embrace. "I love you too, with every fiber of my being."
You melt into his touch, your full breasts pushed against his chest, skin on skin, the shift in position had you feel every hard inch of him pressed against your lower stomach. One of your hands used his distraction to sneak between you, cupping him through the fabric of his pants. You wanted to moan at the sheer size of him. Azriel's breath hitches as your hand cups him through his pants, his hips instinctively pressing forward into your touch. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, a low growl rumbling from deep within his chest.
You can feel him hardening even more beneath your touch, the heat of his arousal pulsing against your palm. His fingers dig into your waist, holding you close as he savors the exquisite torture of your touch. With a shuddering breath, he whispers your name, his voice thick with desire.
Azriel's voice is strained as he speaks, his words coming out in a low, gravelly tone. "I'm sorry, but I think I'll lose it if I don't fuck you already," he admits, his breath hot against your skin. His admission sends a jolt of anticipation coursing through you, your own desire matching his as you feel the urgency in his voice.
You can't help but let out a breathless laugh at his honesty, the sound a mixture of excitement and longing. "Then what are you waiting for?" you tease, a playful glint in your eyes as you meet his gaze. "Take me, Azriel. I'm all yours." And that's all he needs, every chain of restraint he had kept up shattered with your words. You Yelp when he lifts you a little and throws you back onto the bed with ease. Azriel's movements are swift and confident as he sheds his remaining clothing, his gaze never leaving yours. The hunger in his eyes mirrors your own as he stands before you, gloriously naked.
A soft gasp escapes your lips as you take in the sight before you, your eyes tracing every curve and contour of his impressive length. Never before had you seen a more beautiful sight, and the need to feel him inside you overwhelms you. His cock stands tall and proud, the veins along its silky length enticingly prominent, pre-cum glistens on the head, a tantalizing invitation that beckons you closer. Cursing under your breath, you can feel your core clenching around nothing but air, aching for the delicious sensation of being filled by him.
"And here I tried to take my time with you," he remarks, his voice low and husky with need. Despite his words, there's an unmistakable hurry in his movements as he kicks off his pants. Azriel crawls onto the bed, his movements fluid and purposeful. Every inch of his body radiates heat, drawing you in. As he hovers above you, his eyes roam over your body hungrily, taking in every curve and contour as if committing them to memory.
He props himself up with his arms, caging you beneath him. With a strained sound, something between a growl and a moan, he lowers himself onto you, his weight pressing you into the mattress. Your breathing quickens as his hand traces down your body once more. "Let's ensure I don't hurt you when I take you," he whispers, his voice filled with want. He dips a finger into your wetness, gathering your slick. "Azriel," you moan his name, squeezing your eyes shut in need, impatiently trying to create some friction by grinding on his hand. "I've got you," he murmurs reassuringly, his thumb drawing lazy circles on your clit.
Azriel watches every single one of your reactions, savoring the way your face contorts in pleasure, how your lips part, relishing every whimper and whine he can coax from your body. A soft hum escapes him as he eases one of his digits into your awaiting warmth. Your hand wraps around the arm he uses to prop himself up with, squeezing slightly. "Good girl," he murmurs, his voice a low, seductive rumble. After stretching you with one finger, he adds a second one, slowly thrusting them inside, curling them slightly, watching your reactions carefully. Your breath hitches as he fills you, your walls clenching around his fingers in response to the delicious sensation. Azriel's gaze never leaves yours as he moves his fingers within you, hanging onto every reaction you may give him.
Feeling the way your body responds to his touch, Azriel can't help but grin as he finds that sweet spot that makes you gasp his name loudly. He repeats the motion, relishing in the way your body reacts, confirming that he's found exactly what he was looking for. With a confident smirk, he lets his gaze wander down, watching as his fingers disappear into your wet cunt, completely lost in the sight and sensation of you.
As he picks up the pace, Azriel watches intently as you clench around his fingers, your body trembling with the impending release of your release. With a commanding tone, he orders you to look at him, and you obediently open your eyes to meet his gaze. "I'm-" you begin, wanting to tell him that you're about to come, but before you can finish your sentence, he carries you through the intensity of your orgasm. A high-pitched moan escapes your lips as pleasure courses through your body, echoing through the room. He kisses the top of your head lovingly, his lips lingering there as he whispers words of encouragement. "That's it, love," he coos softly, his voice a gentle melody in the midst of your pleasure. With tender care, he lets you ride out the waves of your orgasm, his fingers still inside you, providing the support and stimulation you need.
While you come down from your high, a surge of newfound energy pulses through you, fueled by blinding passion and longing for more of him. You catch his lips with yours, the taste of your pleasure still lingering between you. With a playful nip, you bite down on his bottom lip, eliciting a low growl from deep within his chest that vibrates against your lips. His hand retreats from between your legs, but you're not done yet. Your hand finds his heavy cock once more, the need for him burning hot within you. With deliberate strokes, you run your hand down his length, feeling him twitch in response to your touch. His grunt is muffled by the kiss, but you can sense the pleasure building within him.
You push lightly against his chest, your gaze lingering hungrily on his throbbing cock in your hands, eager to taste him. As you attempt to lower yourself, your intention clear, he catches your other wrist with a firm grip. His voice is heavy with need as he speaks, his desire palpable. "As much as I would love to see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock," he begins, his words laced with hunger, "I desperately need to fuck you right now." The intensity in his eyes matches the urgency in his voice.
Your breath hitches when he finally bottoms out, buried deep inside you to the hilt. With both of your eyes closed in pure bliss, you can feel the pulsing of his cock inside you. When you glance at him, his brows are furrowed in concentration, his lips pressed together in a thin line, clearly focused on controlling himself.
With a gentle yet firm touch, he removes your hand from his cock, replacing it with his own as he guides himself to your entrance. With a swift motion, he drags his cock through your folds, the tip grazing over your clit in a tantalizing friction. You shudder as he repeats this motion, each pass sending a jolt of electricity through your body. He grinds down on you, coating his length in your arousal.
With a low groan of pleasure, Azriel nudges at your entrance, his cock easing into you slowly. Both of you moan in unison as he sheathes himself inside you, inch by inch. "Fuck," he breathes out, his body tensing slightly as he closes his eyes to focus. You feel incredible, and he knows he needs to take his time to savor every moment. With a few seconds of restraint, he continues to ease himself into your cunt, your legs falling apart to give him more access to your dripping core.
His eyes lock with yours when he opens them, seeking confirmation, and you respond with a nod, a smile playing on your lips, encouraging him to proceed. However, your smile fades instantly when he withdraws and plunges back into you with full force. Your hands instinctively find their way to his back and shoulders, but as you inadvertently brush against the soft membrane of his wings, a guttural moan escapes him, accompanied by a curse. "If you do that again," he warns between ragged breaths, "I won't last."
Your sheepish smile does little to mask the desire flickering in your eyes as you offer a soft apology. "Sorry," you whimper, your voice strained, as another forceful thrust sends waves of ecstasy coursing through your body. "Don't be sorry," he murmurs in response, his voice thick with need. "Just... fuck." His words trail off into a groan as he continues to drive into you with relentless urgency, each thrust sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You mewl at his hard thrusts, clawing at his back. "More" you whimper.
Azriel's grip tightens on your hips as he obliges, his thrusts becoming more fervent and primal in response to your plea. Each movement sends ripples of ecstasy radiating through your body, igniting a fiery passion between you that consumes every inch of your being. "You want more?" he growls, his voice dripping with lust as he meets your desperate gaze. "I'll give you everything." The intensity of his thrusts increases, driven by Illyrian instincts and overwhelming desire. His hips move with a feverish urgency, each snap of his body meeting yours sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. His wings flare out behind him, a testament to the raw passion consuming him in the heat of the moment. You cling to him, lost in the moment.
Azriel curses, sweat forming above his eyebrows. "I- Shit, wait." He slows down a little bit. "Come here." He slides out of you a bit, pushing your knees up to your chest and hooking each leg over one of his shoulders. "Let me just..." He mumbles in concentration, arms scooting behind your back, lifting you up with him and hurrying to press your back against the headboard. He holds you firmly, the new position and angle giving him endless access to your throbbing heat. You are held up by his muscular arms, sandwiched between his body and his headboard. "Ready?" he huffs.
You nod eagerly, your body already craving his touch and the new angle. As he slides back into you, you gasp at the sensation, the deeper penetration sending sparks shooting through you. His arms hold you securely up in the air, your back pressed against the solid wood of the headboard as he moves with a renewed vigor. With each thrust, you feel yourself being driven closer to the edge, the intensity of the moment overwhelming you. "Yes, Azriel, don't stop," you moan, your voice a breathless plea as you surrender yourself to him.
Your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head as he pounds into you relentlessly. You're a moaning mess at this point, tits bouncing with every thrust up into your clenching cunt. Azriel imagined this moment so many times over the course of the last months but nothing compared to the real you, the real feeling. "Your pussy feels amazing wrapped around my cock." He speaks into your ear, grunting softly, his hair falling into his face a little. "So good for me." Your body trembles with each powerful thrust, your senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the pleasure coursing through you. Every word that spills from Azriel's lips only serves to fuel the fire burning within you, his praise igniting something ancient deep within your core. You can feel the tension building, the coil of ecstasy winding tighter with each movement of his hips. "Azriel," you whimper, your voice a desperate plea as you cling to him, lost in the euphoria of the moment.
"I love the way you say my name like that." he emphasizes his words with another deep thrust of his hips, hitting that sweet spot inside you that makes you see stars. He bites into the soft flesh of your neck, biting, sucking, marking you as his. The sensation of his teeth sinking into your flesh sends shivers down your spine, a mixture of pleasure and pain mingling together in the most intoxicating way. You arch your back, offering yourself to him completely, every inch of your skin craving his touch, his possession. His words echo in your mind as you moan his name again and again, each utterance a testament to the bliss he's brought you to.
"My Mate." He grunts out in-between thrusts, sucking at the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. "Only mine." You cling to him desperately, your nails digging into his back as you feel yourself hurtling towards the edge of oblivion. "Yours," you gasp, the word torn from your lips as pleasure consumes you. "Only yours, Azriel." As you feel yourself getting closer, you let your hands wander to Azriel’s wings again, letting your fingers softly explore the bone and flesh of the beautiful membrane. He releases a sound that he never even heard himself make, rutting into you again, jaw clenched. "You'll be the death of me"
Azriel groans loudly as he feels you clenching around him, milking his cock for all he is worth, the sensation pushing him over the edge. With one final thrust, he buries himself deep inside you, releasing with a roar as his hot seed spills into you, his body shuddering with the force of it all. He collapses against you, his wings folding around you both protectively as you both ride out the waves of pleasure together. You both pant heavily, his head resting on your sweaty shoulder. Both of your hearts beating rapidly, just slowly calming. "We made a mess of your bed." you state with shaky voice. Azriel laughs then, a true deep laugh.
His wings tremble under your touch, a sensation unlike any other coursing through him. "Gods, don't stop," he growls, his voice strained as he continues to thrust into you, the intensity of your touch pushing him closer to the brink. "I want to feel you come apart beneath me." You feel yourself clench and constrict around his cock that's nestled deep within you. So, so deep within you. Moaning soundly, you chant his name, telling him you're close. Azriel responds to your pleas by driving into you harder, his thrusts becoming more urgent and desperate as he pushes you both towards the edge.
"Come for me," he urges, his voice rough, his hips meeting yours with harsh snaps. "Let go, love." You gush around his cock then, white, hot pleasure shoots through your body as you spasm around his thick length buried inside you. Raking your nails down his wings while your whole body shakes, you hear him fucking whimper.
Azriel's laughter is like music to your ears, a symphony of joy and satisfaction that fills the room. "Worth it," he murmurs against your skin, his breath warm against your neck. You can't help but smile, feeling content and loved in his arms. "Definitely worth it," you agree softly, snuggling closer to him as you both bask in the afterglow of your passion. Azriel grinds into you one, two more times for good measure, easing out of you with a low groan, his cock twitching at the sight of your shared release dripping from your cunt. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before moving to the side of the bed, standing up and disappearing into the bathroom.
He brings a warm towel when he returns, using it to wipe away any remaining traces of sweat and arousal from your skin, his touch soothing and comforting. Once you're both clean and comfortable, he pulls the covers over you, tucking them snugly around your bodies.
With a tender smile, he brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes filled with affection as he leans in to press a soft kiss to your lips. "You were incredible," he murmurs against your mouth, his voice filled with sincerity. "Thank you for sharing that with me." He then settles beside you, pulling you close so that you can rest your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“Why exactly didn’t we do this earlier?” The question leaves you with a huff. Azriel chuckles softly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back. "I've been asking myself the same question," he admits, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "But I suppose everything happens in its own time. And right now, I'm just grateful that we're here together." He shifts slightly to gaze into your eyes, his expression tender. "I love you."
You smile up at him, your heart swelling. "I love you too," you whisper, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear. The moment feels so precious, so intimate, that you wish you could freeze it in time and stay like this forever. Azriel's gaze holds yours, a warmth and adoration shining in his eyes that makes you feel cherished beyond measure. With a contented sigh, you snuggle closer to him, relishing in the comforting embrace of his arms. This was where you belonged, in his arms, together, for eternity.
With a groan you move to look at Azriel again. “Cassian will never let this go” Azriel snorts at your annoyed groan. "Let him tease all he wants," he says, his voice laced with amusement. "As long as I have you, I couldn't care less about what Cassian has to say." He presses a gentle kiss to your temple again, his arms tightening around you in a reassuring embrace. "Besides, I think he'll be too busy celebrating to bother with teasing."
You smile at his words, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at his affectionate gesture. "I suppose you're right," you reply, running your fingers lightly through his hair. "But still, I can already hear the jokes he'll come up with." Azriel grins mischievously, his eyes dancing with amusement. "Well, since he's been giving me shit for about a century now, telling me I should finally make a move," he begins, his tone low, "I think we've given him quite the surprise, wouldn't you say?" He leans in to nuzzle your cheek affectionately, his lips brushing against your skin as he speaks.
A playful smile tugs at your lips as you imagine the reactions of your friends. "Oh, the looks on their faces when we tell them we're mates," you say, your voice tinged with amusement. "I can already picture Cassian's jaw hitting the floor." You chuckle softly, leaning into Azriel's touch
Azriel nods in agreement, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Oh, Rhys will definitely be worse than Cassian," he says, his tone laced with amusement. "He's probably been waiting for this moment even longer than Cassian has. I wouldn't be surprised if he sensed it coming before we even did." His heart swells at the sound of your laughter, his own lips curving into a wide, genuine smile. He reaches out to gently brush his thumb over your swollen lips, his touch tender and filled with affection. "I could listen to that laugh forever," he murmurs softly, his gaze warm as he gazes into your eyes.
A loving glint dances in your eyes as you playfully tug at the bond between you and Azriel, relishing in the connection that binds you together. His eyes widen in surprise, but he quickly catches on, a smirk forming on his lips as he tugs back, understanding your silent communication perfectly as you send love down the bond.
Cassian's voice echoes through the room, breaking the tranquility of the morning. Startled awake, you and Azriel jolt upright in bed, disheveled and bleary-eyed. Azriel's wings instinctively flare out in a protective gesture as he pulls you closer to him, shielding you from Cassian's sudden intrusion.
Entwined in each other's arms, the warmth of your bodies creating a cocoon of comfort, you and Azriel drift into a peaceful slumber. The golden thread of your bond shimmers softly, a tangible reminder of the connection that binds your souls together. As sleep claims you both, your dreams are for once not plagued by haunting memories. Instead, you sleep soundly, dreaming of whatever possibilities lief in the future.
☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆
"Did I interrupt something?" Cassian's grin widens as he takes in the scene before him, unable to contain his excitement.
Azriel clears his throat, his cheeks tinged with a faint blush. "Cassian, is there a reason you're barging into my room at this ungodly hour?" His tone is a mix of irritation and amusement. But Cassian is too busy reveling in the moment to pay much attention to Azriel's annoyance. "You sly dog!" he exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at Azriel. "You finally made a move, didn't you?"
You bury your face in Azriel's chest, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement at Cassian's brazenness. Azriel simply rolls his eyes, though there's a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "It's about time!" Cassian continues, unabashed. "Rhys is going to lose his mind when he finds out!"
Azriel sighs, resigned to the fact that there's no escaping Cassian's teasing now. "Well, since you're already here, you might as well make yourself useful and fetch us some breakfast." Cassian's grin widens even further if that's even possible. "Consider it done!" he says before bounding out of the room, leaving you and Azriel to share a knowing glance. Despite the intrusion, there's a sense of contentment and happiness that lingers in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that now binds you and Azriel together. As you lean into his embrace once more, you can't help but smile, grateful for the unexpected turn of events that brought you to this moment.
☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆
A/N: Welllllllllllllllll, what do you think? For now, I'm very happy with where their story ended. But I have some ideas that could work for further parts. Otherwise, I'll probably work on other projects of mine!.
Taglist: @impossibelle @paleidiot @tele86 @namelesssaviour @sstrohma @that-one-little-soybean @mybestfriendmademe @durgenyx @shinyghosteclipse @katherinejess @thisiskaylin @itsbonniebabe @lilah-asteria @dream-alittlebiggerdarling
I hope I didn't forget anyone!!
498 notes · View notes
welcometomyoasis · 1 month
Text
To all the love letters I wrote but never sent | Xu Minghao
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Synopsis: what happens when your best friend, minghao, finds the secret stash of love letters you’ve been writing to him over the past few years?  Minghao x gn! reader | fluff, best friends to lovers | w.c | warnings: mention of a drug (minghao is said drug) | not proof read A/n: happy birthday @haecien! Idk, when i think of you i think of letters… can you tell?
Tumblr media
For years, you’ve been utterly and hopelessly in love with your best friend, Minghao. 
At first, you thought it was just a passing phase of infatuation. You know the one which happens when you begin to get a little too close to your best friend? It’s the time when you begin to sit a little closer to them, you begin to lean into them, share secrets with them, stare into their eyes as they talk and then watch as their eyes stare back intensely at you. Your mind starts to make weird connections that maybe these actions aren’t so platonic anymore? Maybe, just maybe there’s a spark between the two of you? 
You didn’t really bother to think too much about it, thinking that the phase would eventually run its course, that it would eventually pass. He’s your best friend after all. There’s going to be some level of connection or intense emotions shared between the two of you. It will pass, and then everything will go back to normal.
Oh you were so wrong. What you thought would be a simple passing phase of infatuation turned into a full blown crush, one which you could not control. Everything about Minghao was so infuriatingly intoxicating. You hated how attentive he was, you hated how pretty his eyes were, you hated the way he had with words, you hated all the details you noticed about Minghao because they only made you fall in love with him more. The more details you noticed about Minghao, the more time you spent with him, the more you wanted him, and the more you needed him. He was like a drug, one that you couldn’t get enough of. You lived off the high of being near him, all while hating the fact that he was yours, but not in the way you wanted. He was your best friend. Not, your boyfriend. 
You hid your feelings of course, behind a smile and the facade of a supportive, loving best friend, out of fear your feelings would change the friendship you held so dearly to your heart. You were scared your feelings would frighten him, chase him away. Because as much as the proximity between you and Minghao pained you, it gave you the pleasurable high you never ever wanted to come down from. 
But the pain of being near someone who you believed would not, and could not love you back was overwhelming. It began to consume you. You needed an outlet. You needed a way to write down all the feelings you had for Minghao, just in a way he would never find out. 
So, you settled on pouring your feelings out through letters. You guided your pen across the paper, letting the ink act as your messenger for the heartfelt words you longed to tell him. Whenever you felt like your feelings for Minghao were too much, you would write. You chuckled at how silly it was, writing letters to someone who was never supposed to receive them. Still, it must have worked because writing everything down helped to soothe the pain in your heart until it was only a dull ache. 
Months and years passed. Your stash of secret love letters seemed to only grow thicker with each passing day. And you swore to yourself that Minghao would never find out about the letters. 
Or, at least that was what you thought. Life always seemed to throw you unexpected curveballs, though, not all of them were bad. 
࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃 
“Y/n! Do you have my charger? I think I left it in your room the last time I was over!”
“You… Hao! You’re always leaving things over, maybe you should just move in! It should be in one of the drawers at my desk. Try the one on the bottom left!”
Snickering at your frustrated tone, Minghao walked over to your desk. His eyes scanned the books and sticky notes scattered across your desk. You would never change would you? You were always going to be that messy person he met on the first day of grade six in school. Well, that was just one of the many, many things he adored about you. 
Flushing at the thought, Minghao shook his head. He needed to find his charger to charge his dying phone, not charge the (definitely not platonic) feelings he had towards you that only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. Crouching over your desk, he pulled the bottom left drawer open. He clicked his tongue once again when he saw his charger lying within a mess of twisted cords and wires. He picked it up, and shut the drawer. He was going to have to teach you the art of tying your wires together neatly, again. 
As Minghao was about to get up, a shiny box tucked beside your desk caught his eye. Pulling the box up with him, he lightly swept his hand across the top to remove the dust that had piled on there. He shook the box gently. What was in it? Since when did you have this box? Raising it to his eye level, he inspected the box closely. Noticing some writing at the bottom, he squinted. 
“To all the love letters I wrote but never sent”
Love letters? Slightly taken aback, Minghao almost dropped the box. He knew you were hopelessly pining after some guy for years. You had told him that. It pained him to know your heart belonged to someone else, but he always told you to go for it. You never know, maybe the guy you like liked you back. Somehow, you never did. Wanting to respect your boundaries, he never pushed you further than that. 
Minghao sighed. He should really put this back. This was obviously your private stash of love letters to the guy you were pining after. He gripped the box tightly at the thought of you hunched over, pouring your heart out on paper to someone that wasn’t him. His heart clenched. You’ve loved this guy for years, and he did want to know who this idiot was. Which idiot were you so afraid to confess to? Maybe it was Junhui, one of your other best friends. You two were close, and he knew Junhui had a small, tiny crush on you. Minghao growled a little, Junhui…. That little… The more he thought about it, the more annoyed he got. 
Minghao was torn. He really wanted to know who you loved. But no, he would never invade someone’s privacy and breach their trust like that. He would never do that to anyone, especially not to you. 
“Hao?”
Your voice broke Minghao out of his intense train of thought. Alarmed, Minghao peered up at you, “I’m sorry! I saw this shiny box! I didn’t open it though!”
You stared at the box in Minghao’s hands, wide eyed. He found it? Fidgeting on the spot, you bit your lip, trying to calm the hot flush that was rising quickly up your face. You knew Minghao was telling the truth, he wouldn’t open the box. It’s just the thought of him finding that box out of all the things you had littered around your room. It was embarrassing and horridly nerve wrecking.
Noticing your discomfort, Minghao spoke gently, “Y/n, I’m really sorry. I’ll put it back.”
Impulsively, you shook your head. Your brain was fried, your emotions were going into overdrive, but something inside told you that it was okay to let Minghao know. It was finally time for you to tell him. You loved him. 
You took a deep breath, “You can open it.”
“Y/n, you don’t have to… this is your personal box…”
“Hao. It’s okay. I want you to.”
Staring into your eyes intently to make sure it was really okay, you affirmed his wordless question with a slight nod. 
Minghao set the box on your desk, and gingerly opened the lid. Picking up the stack of letters gently, Minghao shuffled through them quickly, noticing how the date of each one went back further and further. He inhaled sharply. You must really love this guy… Setting his sights on one where the title was bolded and written larger than the rest, he pulled it out of its place between the rest of the pieces of paper.
He let his eyes run across the title.
I think I love him. 
He unfolded the letter, scanning through it quickly. 
I think I love him.  The way he laughs, it’s so melodious.  Like a harmony sung by the most prestigious choirs. 
I think I love him.  His eyes, the way he looks at me.  It brings out my inner most desires.
I think I love him.  It’s the little things he does like carry my bag, buy me a drink. Even the way he helps me tie my wires.
I think I love him.  Minghao, that’s his name.  I want him so badly but alas, what I want will never transpire. 
Minghao? That’s his name… He rereads the letter again, staring intensely at the line that his name is written. Him? The idiot he was talking about earlier… It was him? 
Minghao’s eyes widened in shock. You loved him.
As the realisation kicked in, a tiny glint in his eye appeared. You loved him. 
Letting a toothy grin spread across his face, he looked at you excitedly. 
You reeled back, slightly unsure as to why Minghao was acting in such an unMinghao-like manner. Why was he smiling? He literally just found out that the person you’ve been pining after for years was him. Shouldn’t he be creeped out? Yell at you? You’ve been writing about him for years…
“I LOVE YOU TOO!” Minghao exclaimed.
You stilled. What? Did you hear him wrongly… 
You chuckled nervously, “Hao? Say that again?”
Shaking his head, Minghao walked over to you in a few big strides. Shoving the letter right in your face, Minghao repeated himself, “I SAID, I LOVE YOU TOO!”
Watching Minghao’s bright eyes, his words finally began to sink in. You yelled, “WHAT? YOU’RE TELLING ME, WE COULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN DATING BY NOW?”
Minghao nodded, laughing at your reaction. That was what he loved so much about you. Your reactions were somehow always so perfect. 
Using his free hand to lift your hand in front of your face, Minghao intertwined your fingers. He placed a gentle kiss on your knuckles, “Yes, we could have… but it’s not too late to start? In fact, now that we both know, how about we ditch the work we were going to do and go on our very first date?”
Scrunching your nose and looking at Minghao adoringly, you replied with a kiss on his knuckles, “Of course. And you know. Just in case you didn’t already know. I love you. A lot.”
Minghao leaned towards you, “No, no, I know. But I think you’re going to need to rewrite the description of your box.”
“And what’s that?”
Clenching your hand a little tighter, Minghao replies with a smile, “To all the love letters I wrote but never sent, don’t worry because he got them anyway.”
Tumblr media
taglist: @weird-bookworm @wonijinjin @babyleostuff @wishing-fieshes @kwanienies @mayashu @megseungmin @porridgesblog @haecien @mirxzii @scoupsofcherries @eightlightstar @brownsugarbaybee @zaggprincess2 @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @treehouse-mouse @vcutparis
471 notes · View notes
grandline-fics · 9 days
Note
Hi there! I hope u are doing well, can I request a strawhats crew reaction to a reader who can see ghosts or souls? It can be like their devil fruit power or just something that they're born with. It can be a short fic with all the strawhats or if it's too much it can just be the monster trio, i don't mind either way, do what you prefer! Thanks for letting me request!
DESCRIPTION:  You can see ghosts and spirits
WARNINGS: don’t think it’s too angsty but does mention dead characters. Luffy's is set just before a canon event.
CHARACTERS: Sanji, Zoro, Luffy
WORDS: 1,672
A/N:  Thank you for this request. For some reason I struggled a lot with how I wanted this to go and I hope you're happy with this outcome.
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
MASTERLIST | PROMPT LIST
———————
You didn’t really know the rhyme or reason for your gift. It was just always something you had and having grown up being able to see and speak with spirits you’d never felt the need to investigate it. Besides even if you were to learn the reason for your unique talent, it wasn’t like you were ever going to seek out a way to get rid of it. As far as you were concerned it was a part of you and it brought comfort to a lot of people once they got over their shock and in some cases heavy skepticism that you were playing a cruel prank on them. 
When you first set foot on the Thousand Sunny you had to suppress the shiver that ran up your spine as you were hit with an intense feeling that those on the crew were connected to a lost one and the weight of their grief was still heavy on their shoulders even if they didn’t realise it themselves. So you decided to keep your ability to yourself for now and help when the occasion to do so arose. As you set yourself up in your quarters you smiled softly, seeing that you truly were brought onto the crew for a reason. Idly you wondered who in the crew would be the first you would help.
SANJI
Tumblr media
Sanji turned out to be the first. You entered the kitchen and smiled in greeting to the ship’s cook only your gaze to drift behind his shoulder. Your smile fell slightly and you stepped further into the room, peering at Sanji with intent concern. “What’s wrong?” You asked, taking the chef by surprise as his own smile faltered. 
“Nothing, now that you’re here.” He insisted, adopting his charming smile once more  but you firmly shook your head, refusing to be convinced by his outward demeanour. Sanji became nervous and let his gaze fall away from you stare, finding it easier to maintain his pretence. Quickly he turned back to his chopping board and continued to prepare food for the evening meal. “What on earth would make you think something was wrong?” He asked, trying to keep his voice level. 
“Your mother only ever shows this clearly when you’re deeply upset about something.” Your voice was soft but it was enough to make Sanji drop his knife against the block with a dull thud. He felt like laughing at the ludicrous statement at the same time he felt like shouting at you for the weird joke. Yet he couldn’t do either. You didn’t know anything about him or his family and he knew it wasn’t in you to say something so heartless. Thankfully he didn’t need to demand you explain yourself because you proved your honesty immediately. “You have her eyes and smile, kind and comforting. She worries when you get like this, hiding how you truly feel.”
Sanji looked over his shoulder to see you smiling fondly at something or rather someone beside him. Desperately he wished he could see what you saw, to see her again but if this was as close as he could get then he would take it a hundred times over. “I don’t want anyone to worry, least of all her.” 
“Sanji we all have bad days and hiding that from the people we care about isn’t the way to do it.” You told him, finally looking at his face again, reaching out to lightly push some of the hair from his eyes. “We have emotions for a reason and no-one expects you to suppress them. I’m always here to listen, okay?” You weren’t surprised to be brought into a tight hug by Sanji and returned the embrace, letting him hold you for as long as he needed.
ZORO
Tumblr media
It took some time for you to finally see the spirit attached to Zoro’s heart with enough clarity to take in her appearance and hear her. It didn’t surprise you that this one took longer, Zoro’s personality never came across as being someone who clung to the past and let it cloud his vision but on a day like this it was clear even Zoro wasn’t invulnerable to the deepest of connections that you could now see had been cut far too soon. 
You’d wandered up to the Crow’s Nest to both take a break from the chaotic noise of Luffy, Franky, Chopper and Usopp and also settle in for your evening watch. This wasn’t anything new so Zoro only gave you a brief glance in greeting before going back to training against one of the reinforced training dummies Franky had made to withstand his attacks enough for a worthwhile practice. However he wasn’t moving the way he wanted, something was wrong with his movements. “You’re forgetting the fundamentals.” 
Your voice came from the seating and Zoro looked over his shoulder to see you were casually leaning against the edge, looking out at the ocean. He cocked his head to the side and arched an eyebrow at you. You weren’t even watching him, how would you know what he was apparently doing wrong? As if feeling his stare, you turned your head to look at him. “You’re getting too stuck in your head, just take a breath and keep it simple.” 
Zoro had to scoff at the advice. Yes, you were a fighter but not a swordsman so to be told what was wrong stung his ego slightly. It’d be like if he tried to tell Franky how to fix the ship. You seemed to read the offence on his face and it surprised him to see you laugh and hold up your hands lightly in defence. “That’s not coming from me, it’s coming from Kuina.”
Kuina? Now Zoro found himself glaring and tensing out of a fear of his private life being pried into. Where had you heard that name? Who told you about her? Not that he confided in many about his childhood friend. You sighed sadly and got to your feet. This wasn’t the first time you’d seen this kind of reaction and it wasn’t surprising that Zoro fell back onto the defensive and become distrustful. You stopped in front of the swordsman and glanced briefly at the spirit at his side.
“She’s happy to see you’ve come so far but your name hasn’t quite reached the heavens yet. You still have a long way to go and she believes in you.” You smiled and lightly punched Zoro’s arm when you saw the belief and shock appear in his no longer skeptical gaze. “Keep getting stronger but don’t forget her father’s teachings okay?”
“I won’t let her down. I made a promise.” Zoro affirmed strongly and you grinned, turning to go back to your seat when he quickly caught your arm, surprising you. You turned and looked at him questioningly. “If she’s still here do you…do you think you can help me speak to her?” 
LUFFY
Tumblr media
It wasn’t much of a surprise to you that Luffy was the one to seek you out. He’d caught some talk from the crew about the things you just seemed to know things about their past or about someone they knew that had passed away. His suspicions were confirmed when you’d all stopped on an island for supplies and you’d helped a grieving family in a way no-one else could. You’d managed to ease their pain and reassure them that their loved one was still with them and had no regrets. When you were back on the Sunny he appeared beside you on the railings, grinning widely and already bouncing with excitement. “You see ghosts right?”
“Yeah, I see them. Not at will though.” You clarified, with Luffy being well Luffy you didn’t want to disappoint him by making him think that what you could was as easily controlled as a Devil Fruit ability which this was not. Still though your statement didn’t deflate him, if anything he only got more excited and he leaned in closer and set his hands on your shoulders. 
“What about me? Is someone with me?” Despite how excited he was you could sense a faint desperation coming from Luffy and you wanted to be able to help but as you’d already told him this wasn’t something that you could manipulate and command freely whenever you wanted. You looked at Luffy carefully and then around him in search of a presence connected to him. Suddenly you felt a warmth and made out the outline of a man standing behind your Captain and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Ace.” You felt like you were saying it in greeting. You’d known about Luffy’s brother but never had the pleasure of actually getting to meet him. It was almost eerie how both Luffy and Ace grinned so happily and in sync but it was also so infectious. Luffy seemed pleased but then seemed to be eager for more. 
“Is it just Ace? Is anyone else with him? Maybe younger?” He asked and you slowly shook your head with a small frown. 
“Sorry Luffy, just Ace.” You said, disappointed that you couldn’t give Luffy what he wanted and seeing him sigh slightly and lower his gaze briefly made you feel guilty even though you knew it wasn’t your fault. Still though you couldn’t help but look to Ace, silently pleading for assistance on his part. However the brother only smirked knowingly and you began to suspect that Ace knew something you and Luffy didn’t. Thankfully that was all you needed to cheer Luffy up. “Just because I don’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not with you though Luffy. Maybe next time whoever it is you’re thinking about will be there instead?” 
“Yeah you’re right!” Luffy grinned while leaping up onto the railing, his previous excited energy returning instantly. Before you could speak any more, Law’s voice called for Luffy wanting to go over the plan for when you all would be reaching Dressrosa in just a couple days time. 
415 notes · View notes
zeldasnotes · 9 months
Text
ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 29
CHECK OUT → 24 25 26 27 28
Tumblr media
🀧 Someones Ascendant in your 8th house = them disliking you/heard a bad rumor about you but once they get to know you/talk to you for the first time they will become completely smitten with you. Or vice versa.
🀧 People talk about how vengeful scorpio placements are but have you seen libra placements? Their symbol is literally the scale. For them if they dont get revenge the scale is not even. The sign of justice and balance. You do something to them they have to do something to you.
🀧 People with Venus aspecting Neptune either dress like its Milan Fashion Week or like a 3 year old picked out their outfit.
🀧 8th house synastry just like neptune creates almost like a fog. There is like a view of the person as much more attractive and scary etc. If you fight with someone you have 8th house energy with it will be hard to forgive and forget because everythong they do is seem as more intense and bad (like with chiron. And the same when it comes to attraction. A person with zero sex appeal will look sexy to you if yall have 8th house synastry. So 8th house can create the rose colored glasses too.
🀧 A lot of people with Venus in the 10th house grew up with parents who cared a lot about image or looks. They learned from an early age how to behave and to always look good when leaving the house. My baby sister have this placement and both my dad and step mom think that respect is everything. I remember the disgusted look on my dads face everytime i wore something slighty sloppy.
🀧 Taurus IC spend more money on the clothes they wear at home and their pyjamas than the clothes they wear outside. At home is where they need luxury. The ones most likely to have brand name towels and furniture.
🀧 Aquarius Moon might be a leader of a group or the most popular/prominent/well known person in their friends group.
🀧 Aquarius placements pick up on trends from others countries fast. They love being the first one to do something.
🀧 People with Pluto or Lilith harshly aspecting Moon have a lot of fears and triggers. Emotional life can be super intense here to the point of them constantly being in survival mood. Having Moon in an air house/air degree can soften this intensity a little.
🀧 Saturnians care a lot about how friends/partners treat them infront of others. Im a saturnian and I could never be with a partner who lectures me in public. Agree with me in public and then lecture me when we get home, dont make me look stupid and leave me fending for myself.
🀧 Saturn 2nd house might struggle with self love and self worth a lot during their younger years but when they finally realize their worth there is no going back.
🀧 People with Mars conjunct the angles attract a lot of conflict without doing anything. Almost like universe wants them to learn to fight or something. People respond to them aggressively bc they feel threathened so people are extra harsh towards them. For women having Mars conjunct the angles can be hard because people dont treat them as ”gently” which can make them feel less attractive/feminine. So if you have this trust me its not you its them, they are just threathened.
🀧 Libra Risings dont handle rejection well because they NEED people to be attracted to them and want them. Just like Cap Rising cant handle being disrespected and Leo Rising cant handle being ignored.
🀧 Cancer Descendant might like traditional roles in a relationship. One makes the money, the other takes care of the home. Instead of 50/50. Depends on other placements tho.
🀧 People with Venus Square Ascendant gets involved in weird situationships. Because they attract the same sign that their Venus Squares (their 7th house sign). For example a Cancer Rising with Libra Venus will most likely attract a lot of Capricorn Risings because thats the sign of their 7th house. They are attracted to Cap Rising but at the same time something with the Cap rising bothers them since their behaviour dont match what Libra Venus finds the ultimate behaviour/look.
🀧 Lilith Squares are common in people who just dont click with the opposite sex. Like no matter how attracted you are it just doesnt click on an emotional level.
🀧 You will most likely feel competetive or threathened by anyone who got your Sun sign in their inner planets. They represent something that you consider yours, something thats tied to your ego.
🀧 People with Lilith conjunct Venus are attracted to the outcasted. They cant help but be drawn to the one others dislike. Men with this aspect might fall for the ”town wh*re” (im not slutshaming).
🀧 Aspects to Neptune can show who/where we tend to believe easily and Pluto where we can be very paranoid. Pluto/Venus = Paranoid in love. Neptune/Venus = Naive in love.
©️ 2023 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved
2K notes · View notes
blue-mood-blue · 5 months
Text
I’ve grown to appreciate the aus where Shen Yuan enters the story as “Shen Yuan” - same name, probably similar face, generally able to interact with PIDW as himself and change the story through his added presence. I like the sense of “if only you’d been here, things might have been better the first time around” of it all.
And I was thinking, it’s a funny coincidence in that scenario that someone named Shen Yuan gets put into… another Shen Yuan. What are the chances? What a weird twist of fate that Airplane would pick out the name that his most dedicated critic could slip into seamlessly.
What about a version where it’s not coincidence at all?
Airplane goes to school with a kid named Shen Yuan. He’s prickly and hard to approach and a little intense, but Airplane is persistent. In fairness, Airplane is relentless - and maybe it’s a good thing that they end up being friends, because they’re a little too much for anyone else to handle. They balance each other out. They’re the “weird kids” in class and they’re okay with that, because even when they don’t have any words for it, they know they’re not like their classmates, not really. That’s okay; they don’t want to be.
Recesses and breaks are consumed with the elaborate stories that Airplane wants to tell, and all the holes Shen Yuan pokes into them. It’s not mean-spirited, though, even though Shen Yuan isn’t the kind to temper his words. It’s passionate. He cares about those stories the way Airplane cares about them, and it can’t be mistaken for anything else when they lean together conspiratorially across the lunchroom table. They’ve both got notebooks filled with details and characters and monsters. Shen Yuan’s practically got a whole bestiary sketched out in wobbly childhood attempts at art, entries fervently scrawled beside them. Airplane prattles out plots nonstop, always with the promise of shining eyes and being asked “what happens next?”
They come up with a whole world together. Airplane’s going to write about it someday. Shen Yuan is going to read every word.
Shen Yuan misses school. Shen Yuan starts missing school a lot.
Airplane goes to the hospital room instead. He doesn’t think to worry, because Shen Yuan is okay - that’s what he says. He looks okay, and he’s a kid, and it doesn’t feel real that anything bad should happen to a kid. He doesn’t think to worry. He doesn’t think to say goodbye.
It’s one of the older Shen brothers who catches him on the way up to the room one day, in the hallway just outside - snaps at him to go the fuck home, and when Airplane hesitates, pushes him into the elevator and tells him not to come back. “Tells” is a generous way to describe the way the words come out - a growl, a hiss, the sound an animal would make when a hand got too close to a wound.
(It’s not fair to name a villain after him, even if the name never really comes up in the story. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He’d lost a brother minutes before, and he was getting his brother’s friend out of the way so he didn’t have to… see. It isn’t fair, but then, none of it is fair.)
Death feels very real after that.
The notebooks get shoved into a closet, and it’s not until Airplane’s moving out and one falls on him from a high shelf that he thinks about it again. He’s written things, lots of things, but nothing as ambitious as this - nothing as important. It could be good, he considers. He’d promised. Shen Yuan wanted to read it.
The problem was that no one else does, not for a long time, not until Airplane has whittled himself and his art into a corner and into such an unfamiliar shape that he has to wonder how it’s still his own face he sees in the mirror. He has to eat. He has to pay rent. Shen Yuan would yell at him, but Shen Yuan isn’t there to yell at him, and who cares. Who cares if it could have been better? The people who actually are here love it, and it’s paying his bills, and sometimes stories don’t go the way they’re supposed to and the world is fucking unfair. It doesn’t matter.
(It does. But he shoves that thought away along with styrofoam cups and soda bottles to the bottom of a garbage bag.)
Authors are not gods and their power is limited, but Airplane exercises just a sliver of what he’s been granted and gifts an inconsequential sort of immortality. He thinks about making him a rogue cultivator, maybe the kind that goes around documenting beasts and compiling his findings. He thinks about making him someone too powerful for death to touch, or too important to threaten, but when Airplane looks at the world he crafted and everything that’s become of it, it feels like the kindest thing he can do for Shen Yuan is a childhood where he’s loved, and a death that’s peaceful. What does it say about that world, that he’d kill off his best friend too early again instead of making him live there?
(The best writing he ever does is the only, shining moment of humanity that his scum villain ever displays: a lament about death that comes too early, about a brother gone too soon. The commenters praise him. The commenters flatter over how real the emotions feel. The commenters don’t get any response from Airplane on that chapter.)
Death is incredibly real when it comes for him too early, too, still hovering over his keyboard with the story technically finished and incredibly incomplete. Airplane could tell himself that’s because the written version can never be the version in the writer’s head, always shifting and with every possibility still on the table, but he knows better than that. The System knows better than that, with its condescending message about “improving” his writing and “closing plot holes” and “achieving his original vision”...
…and he’s a child again. He’s a child in his own story, he’s Shang Qinghua now without the benefit yet of a peak or cultivation or anything, and maybe he’s a little bitter, and a little scared, and…
And Shen Yuan - with longer hair, with robes, with a couple of older kids watching him from across the street, but undeniably the prickly little boy who used to sit down imperiously across from him and tell him everything that was wrong with the chuck of writing that had been handed to him last period, but with that smile that said he was only invested because he knew it could be better and they were going to make it better - marches up to him with a fire in his eyes and a frown that warns of a coming tirade.
“You told it wrong,” is the first thing he says.
Shang Qinghua wants to ask how him how he’s here, how this is possible, or maybe laugh because, yeah - yeah, Shen Yuan has no goddamn idea how wrong he got absolutely everything.
(Shang Qinghua wants to say “I missed you” and “why did you leave so soon” but he’s here now. He’s right here.)
“I know,” he says instead. “I’m sorry. It all kind of… spiraled out of control.”
Shen Yuan frowns, but then it dissipates the way it always does, and his eyes shine with ideas the way they always used to. “That’s okay,” he relents, grabbing for his hand. “We’ll fix it. We’ll make it what it was supposed to be.”
799 notes · View notes