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#ive passed 250 now i think
shayminning · 1 year
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STILL HAVENT SEEN A SINGLE FUNNY COLOURED CATERPILLAR
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squatsteader · 2 years
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SQUATSTEADER NEWS: My novel THE REVELATOR is DONE!
And, on to lesser reportage...
WE WON!
And almost as importantly, there's still a chance we seize control of the senate. 2 Georgia seats  are going into runoff phase, so YET ANOTHER election gears up almost immediately. Make calls for these 2 dems!
We deserve a day f celebration. But the election didnt go the way most expected. All pollsters are hereby FIRED. They get a pass for last election, which was razpr thin, but missing half a dozen senate and congressional seats, no excuse. From now on there should be a big red warning whenever news outlets show us polls, WARNING TOTAL BULLSHIT.
BUT HAY, WE GOT AMERICA'S FAVORITE PSYCHOPATH out of office, (secret service will have to drag him out of the oval office, where for decades tour guides will point to scratches on the burnished oakwood floors and say, "that's Disaster Don Trumps fingernail trail"
GOOD. FUCKING. RIDDANCE. Lets all hope he ends up in a super max.
What to do with the 405 OF THE VOTING REPUBLIC that put him in office and almost did a repeat? Hope they fall into a sinkhole, or something. There's really no excuse voting for someone who vilifies Muslims, tares refugee kids away from moms, then lies about it. And lies and lies and lies.
I NEVER WANT TO HEAR HIS NASALLY WHINEY VOICE. AGAIN.
On to other world changing and amazing news:
My latest novel, THE REVELATOR, at 250000 words, (thats a lot of friggn words believe me, my personal record) IS DONE.
HERES THE QUERY. Anyone who needs help writing a query, dont ask me, I fucking hate queries. they suck. How do you jam 580 pages into one and a half? How how how...
I tagged on the 1st ten pages as well.
Greetings Ms X.
I truly appreciate the time and investment you are making in considering representing me and most especially the Novel in question, The Revelator, a literary work at 250 k. That you represent Mr Cantu', and was successful in publishing The Line Becomes a River, makes me feel that I'd be at home with you as my agent. I value Cantu's work, as well as the excellent Midnight on the Line, as the two most important modern works on the border. Ive worked and lived in the region for years, and based a novella trilogy and novel on the region, and into Chihuahua and the Sierra Madre.
My novel The Revelator, a literary work at 250 k pages, is also founded upon a rich cultural legacy, that of the Caribbean and southern Colonies of 18th century America.
The heart of this tale begins with the boy Garret, press ganged onto an English slaving ship, the Dolphin. During a vicious storm off the coast of Guinea, he crouches above the padlocked hatch to the hold below, where several hundred Africans await their fate; death by drowning, or a chance to survive, if the boy smashes that lock, with the ball peen hammer clutched in his fist.
Directing and acting in the performance art theatre group Los Angeles Poverty Dept enabled me to develop a unique voice,The LAPD is a rough and ready troupe of homeless folks (including myself for a time), actors, artists and students. We were NEA supported, and received the Tony Award.
My travels along the Caribbean rim through Honduras and a bit of Guatemala also added a cultural honesty to The Revelator. Allow me like to thank Fito, a Garifuna elder, for providing me hammock space in his sea side bar, just outside La Ceiba, Honduras. I like to think the Garifuna and other Native American groups live and breathe in the pages of The Revelator.
A rich cast of escaped African slaves also find voice in this novel. A native American confederacy under the leadership of the enigmatic prophet Ghost Eye, committed to retake their lands, form an alliance with, among others, absconded indentured servants, pirates and revolutionaries. All combine to fight under the banner of Tierra Libre, or, the Freelanders who set aflame a revolution throughout North America.
The Revelator is, in part, an exploration of American violence brought about by slavery. Our protagonist, Garret, is split into two timelines, one of today, one of yesteryear. After an assault, resulting in a concussion, today’s Garret embarks on a rampage of killing centering on young black men and boys. Hunted and eventually arrested by African American detective Det. Grimes, Garret is found guilty and sentenced to death in Texas. Housed on death row beside the one time urban guerrilla Cochise Teages, who was convicted (possibly erroneously) for killing an FBI agent during a no knock raid, the two begin an unlikely friendship. Garret mumbles and speaks in odd accents late at night. Teages hears, and soon is recording multiple voices emanating from Garrets cell.
I have published in the online Poetry Journal The Nervous Breakdown, and have won numerous Awards for fiction and poetry in the online workshop Zootrope. I also blog at Tumblr under the handle Squatsteader. This blog is a primarily for urban homesteading and gardening, though post fiction and poetry as well.
Again, much thanks for your time and energy. Included below is 10 pages from The Revelator
Yours, D Halenda
cell 415. 200 8551
The Revelator
chap 1
The victims. 2018, United States of America
The concrete owns a stain outside Lupe’s Liquors. A blackened, oily shadow in repose. The death chalk not yet traced about that place where his soul was last earthbound, before vacating, diffusing, upwards into the sky. Desmond ‘Luciano’ Stiggs. Born 1989. Kill # 3. South side Tucson Arizona. Mother, Bertha. Father unknown.
Mario Williams. Age 17. The outline of yellow chalk reveals a babe curled about its own form, not in his mothers belly, but the concrete, the tomb of his most sudden death.  Austin Texas kill # 1. 2616 S Congress st.,  on the property of The Comanche Hills apartments.
Darl Mose. Age 16. slumped against the brick wall of Mobis Cafe, Phoenix Az. Mouth gapes as if his jaw has been unhinged. Beneath, his throat laid open, gouts of blood soaking his hoodie, his jeans, the pavement beneath. Kill # 14.
His girlfriend, Mariposa Marquez, weeps beside him, his son in her belly, listening, not yet fathoming the world in   which he will soon emerge. Yet surely sensing by his carriers frantic heartbeat, not is all well.
Lavon ‘lil Detroit’ Boyd. Age 14. Emergency room, st Theresa the Martyr Hospital, room number 16 E.  Houston, Texas. A metal object having been shoved into the back of his skull, into the cerebellum. he survives solely by life support. Within three days, his step mother and sister will agree by signature to allow   ‘nature to take its course’. As the victim's brain damage is massive, and would otherwise remain in a vegetative state for the remainder of his time, here, on this planet. 
The Stepmother weeps  squatting beside the coffee machine, alone.  The janitor mopping the floor ignores her, swivels his bucket to another quadrant of his workplace. Her son if not by flesh then by love. Something caves inside her chest. She freezes, silently, enduring. It is a physical thing , grief. It catches you, in the neck, in the throat. It squeezes you in the dark of night, refusing to release its grip. Othertimes grief itself is a ghost, hidden, yet drowning one in a listless, thoughtless blank.
The shit eating grin of Demetrius Green, trumpet in hand, behind polished glass and framed by plastic blooms of every genus, all white. The white of death in India, his mother says to the heated air before her, the crowds of distant relatives shoving food into their mouths, mumbling lowly, to her they were wooden machines, maniquins, jerked here and there by dangled strings, dictates of funeral formality. Her voice was every bit as dead as her son lying in the coffin five feet away from her.
That aint him, that aint Dem, that aint my son. That a thing. 
Just a ...thing.
She closes her eyes as if under her lids some respite might be found of this horror. But stamped upon those lids another border shone as if lit from within, the yellow border of chalk, in a zig zag down the steps of their apartment house, where he’d been stabbed. The ritual of funerals and murder scene investigations became a blur to her. 
Her only son. D didn’t hang out with the neighborhood click, he’d kept himself clean, was set to graduate with honors, from the LA County School of The Arts. His crime had been to hang out with a cousin, who’d just been upped in the hood as its major shot caller, at the age of nineteen. 
Towns, you motha fucka. I told you to keep clear. Keep clear of my boy. 
Towns had something to do with it, she was certain. Maybe whoever killed her baby mistook him for Towns. Because her boy D had shot up like a weed after a summer rain, from the goofy 11 year old in the school picture, to a long, lean and unbearably clumsy six feet something. Where as Towns had gone into sports, then crime, D had gone to music, taking to it ironically, like Towns’ daddy, who played with the biggest jazz men in the city. Before dropping to the H and finally a slab in the morgue. 
Just like where you should be Towns! She screams loudly. Not my boy, not my D….not Demetrie
The parlor freezes.  An unknown mannequin sits beside her, its wooden hand clasping her own. My boy. His music, the tone as pure as a dream of heaven itself, clean as a Mississippi sky after a thunderstorm. From where her kin came, after Africa...My boy.
She’d taken extra work, cleaning houses, doing accounting for neighborhood shops, to buy him the horn, a used pawn shop relic, its bell dented, rusted. A valve that stuck. But even with that old thing of tin and rusted brass his sound was golden.  
Golden. Until the school president himself gifted him a Bach Stradevarious, with its  bell of solid silver. And his tone ranged so high, into heaven, like honey. My honey. I know I embarrass you no end. My baby. How you used to flee from my hugs, cause you didnt want to be the moma’s boy. But you were. You were my boy. And now you are nothing. No...thing. Or just a thing. No more music, no more runnen off from me. A stiff piece of bad work from the cheap assed  mortician what charged her an arm and a leg...for this. This aint my child. No. No sir. 
  chap 1  
1752 off the coast of Benin, Africa
In a screaming wind rent with sheets of  rain slamming into the the ships and sailors bodies, our  gang-pressed boy of Scottish blood stands sprawl legged, right hand gripping the hemp rope rigging, left clutching a pall-peen hammer, trying to fathom what the 2nd mate, at his side, is screaming at him. Through the howl of wind and a rain driving down upon them verily like a waterspout tilted upside down, he cannot even hear the man’s voice, much less discern any meaning at all. But between bouts of the rain he sees the man clutching a massive padlock hung from the hasps screwed into the porthole’s frame, the one which imprisons nearly two hundred sweating sickness and dying Africans, in the hold below. He studies the mans face, mouth agape, teeth a yellowed and blackened nightmare. He raises the hammer, sweeps the rain from his eyes, and freezes. A swell takes the ship, tosses it aside like an enraged toddler might fling his toy boat out from  his tub, and the water drives across young Garret, up to his waist. He steadies himself against the ripping force of the water, hammer gripped, hammer raised, frozen in the moment of falling upon that very padlock. Having considered through an entire night this very act , the two sides of the coin, whether to free a hold of chained Africans that would surely kill he and the rest of the crew, or doom them to their own deaths.
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Roll the dice, toss the bones. The old spanish peseta. Ones and zeroes. Does he strike the lock, unleashing a series of events whipping through the future like a lightning clad snake, or will the next swell take him,  washing him from the ship, tearing away the grip of the hammer, never then, to find purchase for his own survival? While those men women and children below will sink to the blacklands at sea’s bottom. Food for crabs, groupers, eels.
The particle flashes forward at lightspeed, separates, into two particles, identical twins, yet still twinned by what mystery of gravitational force, invisible, undetectable...
Toss the bones 'pon the hide over the clay ground, old skin  stiff as an oak shingle left in the sun. Birthing sack which once carried a like-twined soul in its momma's belly.  Let the bones fall ‘pon that old placenta, gaming board of what may come to pass, and let the speaking spirits have their say, by knuckle or toe, coccyx, molar or fang. By common gambling dice. By cards whose faces were born from the dreams of soothsayers, then painted on their blank pigs hide rectangles by an old deaf mute,  so now let them rain down like old time orations torn from  the good book, and the sayings from the grannies n aunties goin all the way back to   Africa, the gold coast, from the highlands of Scotland and the old Celtic clans of Ireland, of the high plains and deserts and eastern woodlands of America,  and we'll see as to your future. As to your seed as well, and what blood may survive into the abyss ahead, to the next epoch and the next, sewn into the realms of time as recorded by those long passed to clay, to the underworld.
Chap 2
Ash to Huntsville  Deathrow 2017
Her  drive was fraught with rain and sleet, sheets of Atlantic weather unending, surging, retreating to drizzle at times, then heaving back with still greater ferocity.
She cherished such road adventures generally, even when they involved her work, though the Knoxville city traffic’s quagmire leading into interstate 75 aggravated her,  so that she took to the back roads. And now she was lost. Somewhere in the swamps and pine barrens of east Texas, or was it still Arkansas? The rain had followed her all the way down, along the eastern range of the Appalachians, her family’s home for generations, and into the deep south, the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas. 
And though she was born and raised in the  south she was still struck by the differences between her ‘neck of the woods’ and that of the Dixie states in general. Her folks, tho maybe a bit more restrained, had never held to the glory days of the gentry, the planters and their culture, and the ugly twin that shadowed them always, slavery. Certainly there was racism round her neighborhood. She grew up with the spooky tales of blacks in ghettos  rampaging through those big cities  outside the mountains. But truth be told, her family’s history, and of those hill-folk in general, was a good deal different from the south through which those mountains ran. For the most part, geography dictated that large plantation  operations weren’t feasible in the roil of sandstone and slate and granite that broke up from the flats how many millions of years ago. True enough, tobacco was a cash crop which grew in profusion in the mountain valleys, but not on the scale of tidewater Virginia or the rice, indigo and cotton of the lowlands of the Carolinas. So that, slavery was never really operational in the environs round about Knoxville and other mountain towns. Most folk,  Scotch Irish generally,  that settled the mountains were in fact  indentured servants ‘on the lam’ from brutal labor of their own on the plantations of the south or the early factories , weaving and furniture making, gun smithing and such,  of the north. Many, including herself up to the age of 13, had never so much a laid eyes on a black man. 
Garret Francis McComas, clearly an avowed racist with a deep and destructive hatred of black folk, was born  not an hours drive from her, in the Town of Wise, Va.  Claims were made,  that had begun as rumors among the prison guard, that strange voices were emanating from Garrets cell.  And that such reports of the voices, heard by the guards on shift, evidently issued from this single pale, frail and pale skinned killer,   had percolated out to state psychologists and therapists. Those tasked both with determining the felons mental state thus culpability in Capital offense crimes, especially inmates condemned to death by the state….. it was in short, all in all quite troubling.   And did not fit into the escape proof steel alloy parameters of their governmental mission specifications.
Rumor had it mongst the inmates that visions came to him  as he lay on the metal bedframe in cell #544 in the Texas state penitentiary, Polunsky Unit, death row, thirteen miles north of  Huntsville. Waiting patiently and most would say utterly resignedly, for  his end by means of lethal injection. And tho Dr Ash didn’t hold to state sanctioned murder, if anyone short of say, Mengele or Pol Pot deserved it, then Garrett Clark McComas was your man. Sixteen dead, all young men, some still yet juveniles,every single victim black, the last three, and still counting some claimed, had been burned after succumbing to multiple stab wounds.  Evidently he’d soaked them with a flammable agent, then tossed a lit napkin upon their supine forms. And more perplexing even,  many claims were made by several inmates regarding his magic powers, and healing hands, without even touching as no contact was allowed, and the ability to predict a number of the inmates futures. But Mr McComas denied emphatically any such gifts. Indeed, it is said that he himself questions his own sanity regarding these ‘hallucinations’, as he deems them. 
It would be her task, under the exegesis of the state sponsored defense team of said inmate, to  determine his mental capacity, among other, more troubling, more haunting questions, in which she and a very select few specialized. Not including those experts hired at top dollar to track down ghosts and vampires in what reality show of the moment which plagued the television airwaves. 
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justagirllost · 17 days
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I dont know why im on here maybe be because i need a safe space to put all of my thoughts is this even "safe" idk but i think ive been doing good with everything even though its so hard and all i think about is food. especially cheesy food i love cheese so much but im just trying to lose this damn weight idk how anyone likes being fat I think all the people who talk about body positive are fucking full of it literally because no one should be happy above 250 and thats just me being generous why are people like that i was on tiktok earlier and came across a fat influencer struggling to walk onto a plane and being upset the stewardess didnt push her...like girl your easily 400lbs thats way to freaking much for an average person to push a random ass Tuesday she needs to lose the weight period people like her make me sick shes complaining that it isnt fair her fat ass had to walk but in a couple videos down she was eating a lot of fat greasy food saying 'i love eating food with the word fat in it' like sweetie you cant get mad someone doesnt want to push you in a wheel chair and yet you still eat absolutely disgusting.... anyway im just blabbing anything to not eat lol i did some jump ropes yesterday and that was nice i plan to do more today yesterday i did 700 jumps so ill do the same amount today and tomorrow and then on Tuesday ill bump it up to 800 i started at like maybe 500 ? jumps idk but im wanting my weight to come off so im not like the lady who had to walk onto to a plane and damn near passed out. im down about 10 pounds already so i know what im doing is working i just want more and more gone every time i look at the scale, i weigh myself on Wednesday so hopefully i can be down like 5 more pounds that would make me so happy but im so scared it will be the same or worse more which i dont know how it would go up im just scared thats all anyway thats it for now this is way longer than i expected it to be.
THIS IS A EDIT IM NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN IM JUST VENTING MY OWN FRUSTRATIONS
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p-antomime · 2 years
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hello kiki!! omg lovin the new theme it’s so elegant!! ✨ also, while im here imma just ask have u read the latest chap of tr already? i myself havent read it yet but ive seen spoilers😭 but if u havent yet u can stop reading here for now and maybe get back to this🥺 im just so curious when sanzu said that what senju did was just a trigger.. like,, does it mean all this time sanzu knows senju blamed him?? im so lost😨
my lovey, tysm for saying this about me theme 💘 AND YESSSS, i already read everything for chapter 250
❗ possible (a lot of) spoilers ahead
yknow, deep down, I'm not surprised by seeing haruchiyo saying something like that, especially when the topic is him and his little sister and the whole plane toy we already """"""know"""""", actually we know the P.O.V coming from senju after some time passed so yeah.
i do think haruchiyo knows senju blamed him because the sentence "you know nothing about what happened in fact that day" (rough trans cuz I can't really remember the right words he used) he said to senju shows, at least to me, that only haruchiyo (and maybe mikey, if we remember the black-out thing mikey apparently has while going into 'dark impulse' mode) knows what truly happened.
but, besides this all, I'm so excited and kinda nervous to see which one will be the response we'll be getting from wakui about this situation because, truth be told: i still can't see the panel of kid!haruchiyo crying and laughing at the same time with the mouth sliced with the cuts that will origin his scars and I think if I do know the true context about it, maybe I can look at it w/o almost throwing up
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harlowsage · 3 years
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Strange (CH)
{Part 2}
Pair: Calum Hood & Jude Armenta (fictional character)
Summary: this chapter is based on the song “Holding out for you” by Pond. A year has passed since the pair have broken up. Calum runs into Jude and they catch up on life.
Warning: mention of anxiety and therapy.
Character Preface: Jude Armenia is a Grammy award winning producer (sound engineer, mixer, songwriter, composer). She’s very well known and respected among musicians.
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https://harlowsage.tumblr.com/post/660386524153675776/strange-ch
{Above is the link to Part 1👆🏼}
https://harlowsage.tumblr.com/post/660922684542238720/strange-ch-chapter-3
{Link to Part 3 of strange👆🏼}
{This is part 2 of Strange👇🏼}
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The sight of her made him freeze, causing him to stop in the middle of the road. The walking signal turned off and it was time for the oncoming traffic to proceed, the sound of cars honking woke him out of his still state catching the attention of Jude who was now looking up from her journal.
“Huh?”, her head tilted to the side as she watched him jog over to the sidewalk on her side of the road.
“Calum? Cal!”, she jumped up from her seat and waved him over with delight.
Whether they haven’t spoken in a year or the fact that he’s her ex, none of it mattered since at the end of the day she loved him.
Calum walked up to her, his hand scratching the back of his neck as a lopsided boyish grin plagued his sun kissed face.
“I almost didn’t recognize you, sheesh you’ve gotten buff. What are you lifting, like 250?” She laughed while reaching her arms out to him, pulling him into a warm hug.
Calum instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders hugging her back, as if 365 days haven’t passed with zero contact.
“295 actually”, he chuckled as they pulled apart.
“Jesus Christ, you cave man. The buff look suits you”, she grinned while gesturing him to join her and take a seat, which he did without a second thought.
“Your hair, it looks really nice on you”, he complimented her, making sure to not step over any boundaries.
“That’s good considering I didn’t have a choice but to chop it, I visited my brother a few months back and just my luck my niece and nephew had gotten lice from school”, she laughed with a slight groan, her nose scrunched in that cute way calum loved.
“Ah shit, not the little groms giving miss entomophobia the crawlees”, he chuckled, leaning back into his seat feeling more relaxed than nervous.
“It was a brutal week. Nonetheless it was nice having Layla be all motherly, washing my hair and picking the nasties off me”, she smiled at the fond memory.
Since Judes mother passed when she was a little girl, she never really got to experience what it’s like to have that motherly touch.
“As long as you had a good time, I know how little you get to visit them”, he hummed acknowledged her busy schedule.
“Much to your surprise, I’ve been setting aside work so I can become one with reality. Just like how you always used to tell me” she smiled coyly, her hands fidgeting with the pages of her journal.
“Seriously? What made you finally take a step back?” He asked, now sitting up straight, intrigued by this new Jude.
“You, actually. A few months after we broke up, my health was seriously declining. I never noticed that the only reason I was staying up and running was because you would remind me to take care of myself. With you absent in my life, my body couldn’t keep up with my brain. The amount of times I’ve had to get a liquid IV stuck into my arm began to become tedious”, Jude explained not meeting Calums eyes.
Admitting this information to him, embarrassed her. She never wanted Calum to know how bad things had gotten for her, but she’s never been able to not tell Calum everything. Talking to him came so naturally to her.
“Fucking hell, Jude I hate to hear that was happening to you. You’re ok now, right? You’re taking care of yourself?” He asked, now noticing just how thin she’s gotten.
“Of course! I have a nutritionist and I’m seeing a therapist twice every two weeks. Apparently I have anxiety, which explains a hell of a lot. The reason I worked so hard before was because, whenever I wasn’t working, my brain would be running a mile a minute”, she sighed, exasperated at the memories of her feeling off and not knowing why.
“That does explain a lot. I thought I caused it, then again I never knew the Jude before I entered her life” he hummed, taking in the new information she just gave him.
“You thought you caused my problem with overworking myself?” She asked, voice laced with shock.
“Well of course Jude, you stoped talking to me and I hardly got any time with you anymore. You were always taking on new projects when it came time for us to spend time together. I thought I had pushed you away”, Calum explained, his hands moving in big gestures showing her just how freaked out he was about the whole situation.
“Cal, no, you never pushed me away. I hate that you blamed yourself. It’s just really chaotic up in the noggin. But not anymore, I’m doing great. You’ll be happy to know I’m on a very long break from work. Made my manager turn down a fuck ton of projects so I can have a breather”, Jude laughed, excited at the thought of what she’ll be filling up her time doing on her hiatus.
“It’s like I’m talking to a whole new person. You’ve never turned down projects, even when you were working on 3 other ones”, he shook his head, eyes slightly wide, with a happy smile planted on his plump lips.
“Enough about me, what have you been up to!?” She asked leaning towards with her chin propped on her fist, giving him her full undivided attention.
“Well, the boys and I finished recording our next album. Now we’re just laying on some finishing touches before we send it in. On my free time, I’ve been taking Duke on morning hikes and learning how to surf. Aside from that, nothing much. Just living that slow paced life”, he chuckled at the current sight of her, staring up at him with her big doe eyes and wide toothy smile.
“Sounds like you’re living the life”, Jude hummed.
“More or less”, he shrugged.
“Say, you wanna grab dinner with me tonight? I discovered this super low key and authentic Italian restaurant near Cattle,” she asked him, her left hand in her lap secretly crossing her fingers.
“Why the hell not, I’ll break my carb diet for you”, he smiled as a soft laugh escaped his lips.
“I missed this”, she sighed happily.
“Me too”, Calum shyly smiled, hoping she’s feeling the same thing that he is.
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Lemme know what you think :) feed back is appreciated. Where would you like to see these two go?
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lihikainanea · 3 years
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Heyy ^^ i found ur blog yesterday and ive been ADDICTED to ur BFF!Bill stories!! they're so so good! I was wondering if you could write something about them both being on a plane, and when turbulence starts to happen tiger is just freaking out and bill has to calm and comfort her. omg that would be so adorable. also maybe them being cute at the airport before the flight, because tiger is all sleepy and soft. as you can tell, i've been desperate for some fluff hahah xx
HELLO NEW FRENN.
First of all, welcome bubs. Welcome welcome welcome to my crazy little corner of the interweb universe, I’m so happy that you stopped by and I’m so happy that you enjoy my insane babbles! do you have a favourite? I love hearing about your favourites.
Second of all, it’s strange to me that the people who are only starting to follow me now--ya’ll know a really special side of me. You know a weird, out of normal side of me. Because my job--I don’t talk about it--but normally, my job is 90% travel. Before this zombie virus hit, for years I was away for about 250-300 days a year. In 2019, I visited LA, Egypt, Iceland, London, Paris, Stockholm, Hong Kong, Japan, Cyprus, Ghana, Colombia, Phuket, Qatar, Milan, Bali, Stockholm, Abu Dhabi, Denmark, Norway--and that’s just to name a few. I was never home. I lived my life at 35,000 feet, in hotel rooms, never quite sure what continent I was on or what time zone I was in--and I loved it. That was the life for me.
And then 2020 hit and I just haven’t been the same since. In fact--because I think it’s important to talk about these things--this has hit me really hard lately, this nostalgia, this longing. And the main topic of my therapy sessions these days has been allowing myself to grieve for a life that I loved, that I may never get back. It’s rough, it’s really intense, and therapy has left me totally drained lately.
I have a few airport-comfort pieces on my #vacation bill tag on my Masterlist, because it meant so much to me at one point in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I was always treated very well when I flew and I had a lot of perks--but sometimes, sometimes it was hard too. When I was on malaria pills and only a few weeks out of a yellow fever vaccine, suffering from an insanely sensitive stomach in Ghana? I was curled up at the airport as my boss slowly gave me carbonated water, and I wanted to die. Curling up and just wanting to pass out on my 5th flight that was trying to get me to Vietnam, when I had no idea what day or what time it was, and all I wanted was to sleep--knowing that when I landed, I had 28 working hours ahead of me. That trip was hard. It was a lot of planes rides for short periods--so right as I started to drift off my seat would be slammed back into upright position, we were landing, and I had to shuffle out and shuffle onto another plane.
In any case, please let me indulge a moment in this because I am always here for Bill comforting tiger in all scenarios.
Bill flies a lot, so he’s used to all of it. He knows airports are chilly, and airplanes are often even more chilly. He knows that tiger errs on the side of cold always anyway, so he packs a few extra sweaters just because he knows that like...she doesn’t. She doesn’t think of it. And make no mistake, the extra sweaters are for him--because he always gives her the sweater off his back. She’s more comforted that way, it’s warm and it smells like him and she always huddles into it. 
And it’s not that travelling stresses tiger out--she quite enjoys it actually--but it’s all just so thrilling, that sometimes she has a hard time focusing. Bill is a high roller, man he has access to all the lounges and always either flies business class, or is ballin’ enough to be bumped to business class just when the airline agents see how many points he has. And tiger is just taking it all in--the wine in the lounge, the fanciness of it all, the prestige. She’s all up in ends and Bill has to help kind of ground her--just be that steady presence that keeps her in check, tells her to eat. He fixes a plate for her always, because tiger is like a kid in a candy store and there’s just so much to be amazed about. He thinks it’s adorable, god she makes his heart skip a few beats, but he knows she’s also looking for a bit of stability, some anchor that she can hold onto amidst all the excitement--and that’s what he is. 
They, obviously, always sit together on the plane. She always gets lots of head scritchies to help her relax and fall asleep. And listen, if turbulence should hit? He’s all over it. I, low key, really love turbulence--man that shit will just rock you right to sleep. I’ve been on a few flights where I have legitimately been scared--I’ve been on flights where an engine blew out after take off and we had to emergency land, or a flight where the tail of the aircraft split clean in half about 3,000 ft above ground and we had a crash landing, I’ve been on flights where the back wheels hit the runway and then the pilot had to take off again at almost a 90 degree angle because an aircraft was too close in front of him and I’ve nearly passed out from the G force. And actually the flight to Bali from Qatar was very turbulent--but I’ve mostly been able to retain my calm. No plane in history has ever been downed by turbulence alone. 
Bill knows that. He’s used to it. But tiger? Tiger has all of her claws dug into his forearm the minute the plane starts to shake even just slightly. It rouses him from a deep sleep--his goofy eye mask on and all--and he lifts it and squints at her. He’s a little grumpy, but the minute he sees the pure panic etched on her face, he morphs into caretaker mode immediately.
“It’s okay kid,” he says, “It’s just a rough patch.”
Sure enough, the seatbelt sign dings and the announcement from the captain comes on.
“Bill...” she says, and there’s a hint of a whine in her voice. He wishes he could just squeeze in close to her, just envelop her in his arms but the centre console between their seats separates them. He reaches his arm around her anyway, cranes so he can kiss her temple.
“We’re okay tiger,” he says into her ear, “Turbulence is normal. Nothing to worry about.”
She whines again, reaching a hand and she balls it into his t-shirt. He moves his hand to her hair, scritching lightly.
“Just breathe kid,” he says, “It’s okay.”
He can’t ding the flight attendant because they can’t move during turbulence anyway, so instead he reaches for his water bottle and uncaps it, offers it to her.
“Drink,” he instructs. She takes a small sip, but she tenses the minute the plane starts to rock again.
“We’re okay, I promise,” he says, “Turbulence isn’t dangerous kid. Not in the slightest.”
She looks unsure, everything about her is tense and worried.
“Hey,” he says and he taps her nose “You trust me?”
“Of course I trust you.”
“And you know how much I fly?”
“Yes.”
“It’s nothing kid,” he reassures, “Try and relax. Come here, I’ll rub your tummy.”
“I don’t need my--”
But listen, he manages to combine their blankets and creates a cocoon around the two of them. He reaches over and reclines her seat back a bit, boosts up the foot rest so she’s comfortable, and then under the blanket he lifts her shirt a little--and his warm hand just rubs back and forth, massages on her lower stomach just how she likes. He puts a pillow on the centre console, pulls the blanket up a little and pulls her over so she can lean across it--and then he rests his thumb on her lips.
“Billy--” she mumbles, but he hushes her.
“No one can see kid,” he kisses her nose softly, “I promise. Go on.”
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mnemosyne-musing · 3 years
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mine eye and heart are at a mortal war (river/ten)
Care for some Christmas shopping? X
 The Doctor stared at the message in front of him. Five words followed by a set of coordinates. A smile started to curl his lips involuntarily.
 “Well,” he said to himself, his feet already carrying him back towards the console, “I suppose a bit of Christmas shopping wouldn’t hurt.”
 Pulling down the levers as the TARDIS dematerialised and hurtled through the vortex, he allowed himself a brief glance in the mirror. Just to check his tie. And his hair. Because it wouldn’t do to look too scruffy for festive shopping. That was all.
Pushing those thoughts aside as the TARDIS landed, he idly wondered what else River would have in store for him. She didn’t quite seem like the type of person to just summon him for a spot of festive shopping. No, there must be something else happening he decided as he strode over to the door. Funny how that thought was not nearly as terrifying as it had been only so very recently.
 He pulled open the door and stepped out, looking around him. He’d landed in a snow-covered alley in what looked like a corner of an enormous open-air Christmas market. Stepping outside and shutting the door, he took a few steps, glancing around him more closely.
 He spotted her almost immediately. The first stall was a bar serving various festive concoctions by the looks of things. She was perched on a barstool at the end, sipping from a cocktail glass and flicking idly through her diary.
 Shoving his hands in his pockets, he suppressed the grin that had spread automatically over his face and sauntered forward.
 “Rivah!” he called out as he approached.
 She turned at that and he hesitated for a moment as he was sure he caught just the tiniest flash of disappointment across her face before it vanished and was replaced by a smile.
 “Doctor,” she replied, “Fancy seeing you here!”
  He shook himself mentally as he approached her. Surely, he had just imagined that. She’d always been pleased to see this version of him before. Well, apart from that first time but… No, he didn’t think about that. Not now.
 He paused a few feet away as she stood up gracefully from the barstool. She was wearing a dark blue trench coat, cinched tight across her waist with the collar turned up against the chill in the air. As she stashed her diary away in a pocket, his gaze took in the blood red high heels she was wearing. Not quite the footwear he’d expected for Christmas shopping but if anyone could browse in sky-high heels, he suspected the woman in front of him was it.
 As if sensing his train of thought, River gave a nonchalant shrug. “I’ve just come from a party,” she said by way of explanation, “Shall we?” she added, nodding to the market.
 Looking around him in more detail as they started to wander among the stalls, the Doctor took a deep sniff of the crisp air.
 “Is this…” he mumbled, before sticking his tongue out, “Is this Arctos IV?”
 “Yes, it is,” River nodded, “Biggest Christmas market this side of the galaxy. Best spot for some last-minute shopping!”
 He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. “It’s also home to the largest collection of precious jewellery in this side of the galaxy.”
 “Is it?” River asked, her face a picture of innocence.
 He paused in his stride and grasped her elbow, pulling her around to face him slightly. “River, is that why you’re here?” he asked her as she rolled her eyes at him, “These jewels are not something to be trifled with.”
 “Doctor dear,” she replied with another roll of her eyes, “I am not here to drag you into a jewel heist. Now, come along. I want to look at the tree decorations.”
 However, it appeared that someone else was on a jewel heist at that particular time. That and together with a subsequent stand-off and misunderstanding between the local constabulary and three hours later, the Doctor found himself in a small holding cell with River Song in the local jail.
 Pacing the small cell, he tugged at his collar. Unlike most jails, this one seemed particularly warm. Not that River seemed terribly affected, still bundled up in her trench coat and looking rather nonchalant despite their predicament.
 “Are you sure you didn’t have anything to do with this?” he asked her again as he futilely rattled the door which remained firmly bolted. River simply arched an eyebrow at him in response and he felt a faint thrill of irritation run through him at the gesture. Ever since he had arrived, he had struggled to shake off the slight niggly feeling at the back of his mind that he wasn’t quite the version of himself that River had had in mind when she sent the note.
 He raked his gaze over her as she leaned against the dirty prison wall, casually inspecting her nails. Well, he thought indignantly, he didn’t have to put up with this attitude. He had plenty of other things he could be doing.
 “Why did you really summon me here anyway?” he demanded, watching her closely as she flicked her gaze up towards him, “You haven’t done any Christmas shopping.”
 River looked up at him for a long moment, her head tilted slightly to one side before she finally answered. “I wanted to give you your Christmas present.”
 He perked up at that. “A present?”
 She reached into her pocket and retrieved something before chucking it to him.
 “A snow-globe?” he said, slightly nonplussed as he looked at the fairly ordinary, small orb in his hands, “Well, that’s…umm, that’s lovely.”
 “You’re welcome, sweetie,” River murmured with a faint smirk playing around her lips.
 There was something about her tone that made him pause and look at her again, his gaze dropping to her midriff as she subconsciously smoothed a hand over the fabric of her coat. Stalking towards her, he crowded her space as she looked up at him in surprise.
 “Don’t lie to me River,” he warned, his voice dropping lower as he leaned in further, “What’s really going on?”
 “Nothing, I…”
 “I don’t believe you,” he cut in as she blinked up at him, a look of irritation passing ever so briefly over her features before vanishing, “This is something to do with those jewels going missing isn’t it?”
 “No, Doctor! Now, I admit, that the timing doesn’t look great, but…”
 “You’ve stashed it under that coat, haven’t you?” he interrupted triumphantly, leaning further into her personal space, “That’s why you won’t take it off!”
 She rolled her eyes at him, this time doing little to disguise the look of annoyance on her face.
 “No!” she insisted, “I have not.”
 “Prove it!” the Doctor retorted smugly, leaning one palm on the wall next to her head. A feeling of satisfaction rose inside him as she glared outright back at him. He wasn’t quite sure who River Song was, although he had more than a sneaking suspicion, but she clearly didn’t know him quite as well as she claimed if she thought she could pull a fast one on him like this. “Take it off!”
 “No!”
 “Why not?”
 “I don’t want to!”
 “Funny that,” he glared back at her now, “You know, I don’t appreciate this, River. I don’t know what I do in the future that makes you think you can just click you fingers and I’ll appear to do your bidding but let me tell you…”
 “Fine!” she snapped suddenly, cutting off his rant just as he was building up a head of steam, “But on your own head be it and don’t you dare tell me off for this when you’re older!”
 “When I’m older?” he frowned at her in confusion as her hand moved to the belt on her coat, “Why would I tell you off when I’m…” he trailed off as she untied the belt and let her coat hang open, “Oh!”
 He felt his mouth go dry immediately as his gaze dropped. Instead of a fancy cocktail dress that he’d been expecting, she was instead dressed only in a matching ruby red, lacy bra and knickers, both adorned with a tiny bow in the shape of a sprig of holly. He swallowed heavily as his eyes traced greedily over the curves of her body and down to the high heels on her feet, his trousers starting to tighten uncomfortably. Good gods, but she was perfect. Not even his imagination on lonely nights had managed to conjure up this vision accurately.
 “Merry Christmas, sweetie,” River murmured huskily, a small grin playing around the edges of her lips as he finally dragged his gaze up to meet hers and she pulled her coat back around her, “Sorry for the spoilers. Now that we’ve cleared that up though,” she added, holding up her wrist and pulling the sleeve back to reveal a vortex manipulator, “How about we get out of here?”
 (Ten minutes or 250 years later)
 River let out a sigh as the lift door pinged to the penthouse suite. She had dropped the Doctor off at the TARDIS and had gently refused his stammering, blushing offer of a lift before telling him she had reserved the penthouse in the swankiest hotel and fully intended to make use of the jacuzzi en-suite and room service before sending him on his way.
 She knew she had been a bit reckless to do what she’d done but she couldn’t quite bring herself to fully regret it. The look on his face as he’d realised what was really under her coat was worth it alone. She was dealing with younger and younger versions of him these days and really, who could blame a girl for trying to have a little fun when she could. It certainly made the long, lonely, frustrating nights a bit more bearable.
 As she entered the suite, the hair on the back of her neck prickled. There was someone else here. Her hand automatically went to the blaster in her pocket.
 “Hi honey,” a familiar voice called out from behind her, “I’m ho- ho- home!”
 A feeling of relief and joy washed over her. Turning round slowly, River took in the sight of her husband, lounging on the sofa, a Santa hat perched jauntily on his head. “And what time do you call this?” she asked archly, biting her lip to repress the urge to beam at him.
 He leapt up from the sofa and shrugged, smirking at her. “Better late than never?” he offered with a grin as he closed the distance between them, “Now,” he said as he stopped just in front of her, “Do I finally get my Christmas present?”
 River looked up at him as he gazed at her, his eyes darkening as they flitted down her body and back up again, “Well,” she murmured, reaching out and sliding her hands slowly up his chest and looping them around his neck, “That depends.”
 The Doctor arched an eyebrow at her, his hands dropping to toy with the belt of her coat. “Depends on what?”
 “Have you been a good boy this year or not?” she whispered huskily as she leant into him.
 “Oh,” he replied with a grin as his hands worked the belt loose and her coat fell open, “I’ve been very good!”
 “Well then Doctor,” she murmured as his hands snaked around her waist and pulled her against him, “Merry Christmas!”
 ---
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muttgirl · 3 years
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ooh good luck with your graduation speech! im sure youll do really good, and it'll be over sooner than you know it and people will barely remember hajsjshd, thats always what i try to remember when I do speeches, or i think of all the school speeches ive listened to and how many of them i just don't remember at all. I hope that helps at least a little bit, especially if your main fear is being judged or something
i mean I didn’t HAVE to and i wasnt even sure i wanted to when i went to the school last week for practice until after i practiced w my academic counselor first lol but i have committed so. Me n the other speech-givers practiced in front of eachother and our eng teacher and school therapist so im not ill prepared necessarily but its just,,, its a lot to speak in front of 250-400 people lmfao.
Tbh,,,, a big motivation of me doing this is spite LMAO, like there’s this piece of shit that idk if I’ve talked abt here before who goes to my school (we also went to the same original high school), and like my disdain for him requires a lottttt of backstory w a lot of details but long story short he’s a dumbass garbage-being cumbrain pedo-lite stoner misogynist lol. I used to be vaguely in his circle when i was big into drugs and my local street rat scene and we had 1st period freshman year together. He did this thing that was really disgusting and terrible and even tho i had already hated him that was the final straw, and there was this whole thing about me telling his partner at the time abt what he did and he threw a big baby booboo fit and his partner stayed (at the time lol they broke up recently) so then i hated both of them lol. Anyways i just hope he sees me on stage and thinks “oh fuck thats the girl who was mad on drugs and who i said had a loose vagina and who tried to fuck up my relationship because i did a shitty, shitty fucking thing and now she’s valedictorian”
Anyways ty for the luck i am absolutely going to need it lmao. Im great at reading and delivering text but the anxiety is audisjhdjajdhsha i am going 2 pass away
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pinkberrybff · 4 years
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Hi i’ve followed you for a while and you’ve made a few posts about your career. I have no idea what to do with my life but I’m really interested in what you do. Could you explain it more? I’m kinda uncomfortable coming off of anon but if you want i can message you. Thank you!!
omg this is so cool! This is gonna be a long post so bear with me. First off let’s start with education.
Education: Not sure how it is for all states but here in NY you need to get in to an accredited surgical tech program. It’s a 2 year degree but I believe you can go for 4 years. If you do the bachelors degree there’s more room for moving up, like going back to PA school or becoming a surgical first assist. You’ll have to take classes like anatomy, microbiology, ethics, pharmacology, and the basics your college will require. I went to community college and it was an amazing program. During your schooling you’ll be going to clinical, where you go to hospitals and scrub into surgeries with a supervising surgical tech scrubbed with you. My clinical was Thursday and Friday 7am-3pm. It’s a tough program, I won’t sugarcoat it. College kicked my ass. Also be warned, there really isn’t much room to move up as a tech, you’re pretty much stuck with scrubbing unless you go back to school. Whereas if you get your RN you can do a whole lot more. Majority of surgical techs go back to become a nurse. After you graduate you have to sit down for your CST exam which is 175 questions and you need a 102 to pass. From there on, you need to do what’s called CEUs (continuing education credits). These are provided by the AST (association of surgical techs) they have some free ones but majority of credits will have to be paid for. These are gained by going to conferences and doing exams on the AST website. You have to earn 60 CEUs every 4 years but i believe they’re changing that to something that you have to do it every 2 years. If you don’t want to do this, you’ll have to retake the CST exam every 2 years and the exam is $250 each time, and there’s no guarantee you’ll pass. When you get a job you’ll be on orientation for 3-6 months and then you’ll be a full grown surgical tech
Pay: it depends on your state but the average for surgical techs in NY is $26-$28 an hour. NY is one of the highest paid states for techs. You are the least educated and lowest paid person in the OR. You can go on the AST website and they have a map of wages for every state.
Duties: oh boy, this is gonna be long LOL. Your main job and main focus is maintaining the sterile field during surgery. I think it’ll be easier to just explain a day in the life. Before my first case of the day I like to see which OR I’ve been assigned to. That will be your room for the entire day but it will be different doctors and different surgeries throughout your shift. From there, I go to what’s called a “case cart” that is made in sterile processing. There is a cart for each surgery scheduled for the day with the patients name and the surgeons preference card. The preference card is extremely important. This card will tell you what supplies you need to have in the OR that the surgeon wants so it’s important to check the cart before the procedure begins. Then I head to the OR and make sure all of the supplies are in there (for example sometimes there isn’t an OR bed in there or enough IV poles so you have to stay on top of it.) Before the surgery starts, it’s your job and the nurses job to get the room ready. First, you’ll drape what’s called a back table. This is your main table where all of the sterile supplies will be. Once the drape is on, it’s sterile and you can’t touch it until you are sterile. You have to scrub into surgery (3-5 minute timed scrub followed by gowning and gloving yourself). While you’re scrubbing your nurse will be opening sterile supplies onto the back table. Once you’re scrubbed and the nurse ties up your gown, you go to your back table and begin organizing. You open your blades, your basins, sponges, and most importantly your instrument trays. Instrument trays are put together by sterile processing based on various procedures. It’s your job to know what instruments your doctor will want to use. Your main instruments go onto whats called a mayo stand (another thing you need to drape and keep sterile it’s a small table that you wheel over and prop over the patient during surgery). The mayo stand is your god, your temple. You organize it however you need it to be. Be warned, surgeons don’t care about how neat you keep it so you will be constantly reorganizing the instruments since they just throw it back on the mayo haphazardly. SUPER IMPORTANT: you and the RN have to perform the surgical count. This is where we count every blade, every sponge, every instrument, and anything else that can get lost in the body. You count before surgery, you count before closing the body, and you count one more time before the patient is out of the room. You can count as many times as you want but you gotta at least do 3 counts. It’s tedious and my least favorite part of the job. Once the patient is in the room, you gown and glove the surgeons. You assist in draping the patient (which is super hard until you get used to it) and then you throw off your cords. The cords are for what’s called a bovie (every surgeon uses it), and your suction tubing. Some surgeries require power drills and other wires so you have to keep all of it organized. During the surgery, you stand right next to the doctor. They’ll ask for an instrument, and you hand it to them. In school you’ll learn as many instruments you can (i think i’ve learned up to 600 instruments by now) and the proper passing techniques. The surgeon cannot do his job if you aren’t doing yours. Below i’ve added pictures of a back table and a mayo stand for an ankle replacement that I set up, with labels!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Warnings: This is a thankless job. Nobody knows we exist in the outside world. You’ll be on your feet your entire shift. You need to be strong, in order to hold heavy things like amputated limbs, retractors, and fun stuff like that. You will see people die, and you will save people’s lives. Blood is unpredictable, it can go anywhere so don’t wear shoes you like, and wear eye protection. Doctors are stressed and tense, they will yell at you. Majority of surgeons are men, so it can be an aggressive environment. Surgical techs will yell at you. Nurses will yell at you. The OR has a mentality of “eat the young” and they will, but it’ll make you a better and stronger tech. Surgeries move fast, you need to be paying attention the entire time. A lot of instruments look the same, it will take time to be able to differentiate them. We don’t get paid what we are deserved and our union reps are pretty useless. If you work at a hospital, you will have to take call, and overtime. Majority of the time though, it’s an 8 hour shift, 5 days a week or 10 hour shifts 4 days a week. Majority of surgeons like to listen to music while operating and it’s mainly cool dad bbq music. The smell of burning flesh takes a long time to get used to, but you have to get used to it. You’re exposed to a lot of carcinogens.
Pros: this is an amazing job despite the adversities. You get to see AMAZING things. I’ve seen babies born, i’ve watched organ transplants, gunshot wounds, stabbings, broken bones, one time we opened someone’s face and took out all of their sinuses and their entire eyeball so their face was just a giant hole and i had a rare glimpse into anatomy ive never seen outside of a textbook. If that’s your thing like it is mine, this job is good for you. Everything is clean and neat and organized which is my favorite part of the job. You work very closely with other people so you guys will bond and become a family. You become friends with doctors so you can ask for free medical advice LOL. This career is so rewarding and i find myself choosing it over and over and over again.
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ithisatanytime · 3 years
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Vegetables are fucking bullshit. im not gonna proofread this, but if you want to lose weight this is literally the only thing besides surgery that will work and its not even hard at all i promise, this was not inspired by me being disgusted with fat women, as everybody knows im down with the thickness. not fat though, there is a wider range for men then women believe, but i guess they are mostly just trying to compete with each other (i dont actually believe this for a second, it is for men its just a subconscious instinct, manifesting consciously as a desire to compete or look good) i added this long as disclaimer because this is a lifelong interest of mine, i always talk about it, but i dont want some poor girl to read it and think i want her to go on a diet you are beautiful just as you are, but at the same time i didnt want past relationship girls to see me saying i was down with the thickness and think they were heavy, only one was heavy
  Dont get me wrong, i like vegetables, but they are honest to god a fucking scam. vegetables are CHEAP, especially grains and cerials, to be honest grains are less bullshit than leafy greens, but they are still kind of bullshit. you are made of fucking meat, thats what you are, all the stuff you need or pretty damn close, is found in meat, vegetables are mostly insoluble fiber, very low in calories, which despite what you have been led to believe is not a good thing. its nice to have a little roughage in your diet, but the idea that we should be eating primarily plant based food is fucking insane, and i suspect is a result of the sugar companies years long propaganda campaign against fat. for years they funded studies claming dietary fat or cholesterol caused fat to accumulate on the body, and cholesterol in the arteries, we have known since the seventies that these claims were false, but the propaganda campaign was so extensive, even doctors commonly fuck this up. you cant digest plants on your own, you need to recruit gut bacteria to ferment it in your bowels, in other words it rots in your guts making you bloated and gassy, all for just a tiny bit of calories, its ASS, because no one can live that way, your diet is failing because you arent eating enough meat. meat is food, its real food. no fucking animal would go through the trouble of evolving the necessary intelligence and hardware needed to have to KILL every single meal, if it wasnt so much better than the fucking grass and leaves that are everywhere, and grass is much easier to catch and kill than a gazelle,so why bother? because the gazelle is food, its made of the same building blocks you are, you are made of meat.
   Meat is much more readily digested in your body than plant matter, people think that meat constipates you and ive seen people say it sits in your gut for years, the opposite is true, meat is digested quickly and efficiently leaving behind almost no waste material whatsoever, meaning you arent pooping because you arent making poop, meat is digested almost completely where as plant matter is filled with fiber which passes through either completely unchanged or only mildly changed into a gel like substance in the case of soluble fiber.  but heres the real MEAT of this post (heh) fats and proteins from animal sources (meat) are far more satiating than carbs from plants, meaning a hundred calories of animal fats and’/proteins will keep you full for longer, than a hundred calories of carbs, and i can prove it, a boneless skinless chicken breast has 284 calories (very little fat but high in protein) thats less total calories than two cans of mountain dew, how long do you think you could last after eating a chicken breast vs drinking two mountain dews? there are 250 calories in a new york strip steak, thats less than two potatoes, i bet you could last all day if you ate a new york strip steak for breakfast, a potato and a half without butter or anything? you would crash by noon.
 Vitamins are fucking bullshit. as long as you get micronutrients into your body at some point, meaning you arent a third worlder who eats nothing but one kind of cheap food, you are getting vitamins, all of them, most of them and guess what, meat has literally all of the required vitamins your body needs in abundance, so long as you occasionally eat liver. but it hardly fucking matters, almost no one in the first world is seriously deficient in micronutrients (the vitamin d thing is bullshit, they miscalculated the requirements or there is some racial factor they refuse to aknowlege, because if fucking everyone is d3 deficient and doing just fine, then no one is. also d3 is found ONLY in animals, not in plants) its all about macro-nutrients FAT PROTEIN carbs, you are eating too much carbs, if you try to stop eating so much carbs you are going to fuck it up, i promise you, your body keeps track EVERY DAY, trying to maintain homeostasis, you will take one extra bite, you will measure your portions wrong, you will eat a whole goddamn cake because you are starving, your body is better at counting calories than you will ever be. so heres what you do, DONT TRY, if you have to try you will fail, you are working too goddamn hard, be realistic with yourself, a temporary diet is actually fucking meaningless, diets are for life. you cant sustain that horrible dumb ass bulshit girl magazines are trying to make you live on, NO ONE CAN, less than 6 percent of people who have lost significant amounts of weight will keep the weight off after a year. who the fuck knows after that as well, other than its certainly less than six percent. i am giving you the cheat code right now, all you have to do is take my word for it, do i seem like i spent years obsessing over this shit? because i have, heres the secret. all you have to do, nothing more, if you try to do more you are fucking up! all you have to do, is take your body weight, divide it by two, and try to get that many grams of protein per day, like your life depended on it, preferably from MEAT. preferably with fat! but honestly i dont fucking care. tbh if you are a girl, id shoot four 40-50 grams everyday, and heres the thing, please! do not go for lowfat, lean meats. you want meat with fat on it, preferably unprocessed, you can still eat hamburgers and sausages but dont make them the center piece of your diet, because they actually add fats in as part of the processing, you can stil leat it though, if you try to get your 40 grams of protein from lean meat like chicken breast alone, you will go crazy and quit, or you will just eat a bunch of carbs to make up for it. again, you want fat and protein. if for the next two months, you made it your goal to eat whatever the fuck you wanted (this is important) so long as you got 40 grams of protein a day, preferably from animal sources, preferably with fat, i promise you, not only will you lose weight like fucking crazy, but it wont even be hard at all, you will feel like you are fucking gorging yourself while slowly getting hotter. that being said, to us men, being hyper thin is not really all its cracked up to be, thats gay fashion designer shit, we like women to be soft, to contrast are hard muscular bodies.
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ectodog · 4 years
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it’s the 4th anniversary of the premier of vld which of course means i have assembled a rough timeline for my descent into voltron special interest hell. it goes something like this:
- june 10 2016: vld season 1 premiers. i am none the wiser
- january 20 2017: season 2 comes out. this fact is irrelevant to me
- august 4 2017: season 3 happens. still not entirely sure what a “voltron” even is
- mid-august 2017: one of my friends cosplays keith. that’s cool. who’s keith?
- october 17 2017: season 4 arrives. that’s fine i guess
- march 2 2018: season 5 has entered the building. i am vaguely aware that i have known people who watched it at some point. the fandom is apparently “terrifying” but i survived homestuck, so i scoff at the concept and go on with my life
- june 15 2018: season 6 drops. i see a bunch of cool gifs and pretty fanart. coupled with the hype i have absorbed from the lead up to it, i wonder if i should give the show a watch
- june 16 2018: i start watching vld. two (four) episodes in and i love it. i can already tell i’m a hunk kinnie, and this brings me no end of joy
- june 28 2018: within two weeks, i have caught up entirely. i am thriving in the post-s6 hype
- july 20 2018: at sdcc, the Big Reveal happens. shiro is gay. he is a disabled main character of of colour in a wildly popular show for kids, and he is kind and brave and the pinnacle of masculinity, and he is gay. no matter your shipping opinions, this is incredible news and it’s hard to Not ride the high, so why bother trying? they show a trailer and announce the release date for season 7, and within hours a bunch of booted recordings of s7e1 are floating around online
- july 23 2018: my interest level has gotten to the point where i need to make a separate twitter for it, so i do. (fun fact: as of today, less than 2 years later, said twitter has over 7300 posts on it. my main, 4x that old, has ~30k)
- august 10 2018: season 7 is online at 1am my time. im selling at an artist alley all weekend, starting the following morning. i binge half the season anyway before passing out, and completely avoid the internet until i can watch the rest later that day
- october 5 2018: at nycc, the trailer for s8 and release date are revealed. i immediately book the announced day off work because i know i will want to watch the entire thing at once the second it’s out
- mid-october 2018: “leaks” of s8 start appearing online. pretty much no one in the fandom believes them, because no one Likes them. they seem ridiculous. people start making “leakverse” fanworks to feed some of the finale anticipation into, including me. no one really thinks they’re plausible at all
- december 14 2018: season 8 airs. i post a quick but heartfelt fanart before gearing up for 1am. it starts, and i cry. the first time they form voltron, i cry some more. things keep happening, and i keep getting tears on my screen, and i have to pause and start it over and over, but i live tweet the whole thing anyway. the leaks were... real. i come out of it unsure how i feel, exactly, but i am exhausted from the marathon and so immediately pass out
- the same day, after some sleep: im upset and confused as to why the finale season was so hollow. i see im not alone. it’s a rough week, feeling like something i love so deeply let me down so much. i realize it’s only been 6 months since i got into it - but, clinging to a deep sense of betrayal, i cry some more anyway
- the immediate aftermath: there are petitions and accusations of censorship and conspiracies about where the “real” s8 is. it’s hard not to get caught up in, or at least dragged down by, the lack of hype. no one who worked on the show says anything for days, weeks, months. fix it fanwork starts cropping up, and i surround myself in them. none of the excitement from before is there, not the same way it was. i start a new and highly ambitious piece of art out of spite. it’s left unfinished
- january 2 2019: lion forge releases the third volume of vld comics. no one really cares. i certainly don’t
- the intermediate aftermath: it becomes clearer by the day that the season was, simply put, a failure and a flop. no one liked it. kids cried over it and parents had no idea how to explain it to them. the fandom and community dim for a while, but i keep immersing myself in the trove of fanwork that already existed, and i start trying again to make some of my own
- may 29 2019: lion forge comics announces that they are not renewing their license to make more vld comics. that, coupled with the abysmally rated final season, seems to be the nail in the coffin for this iteration of the ip. there won’t be anything else official for vld. somehow, this sparks a renewed interest in me. despite everything, im more dedicated than ever before to preserve and proliferate my good experiences. i know this won’t be a blip in my history as a fan, so i’m determined to be happy with it, as best i can be
- the rest: is, as they say, history. as of now, i have something like 20 fanworks of my own in progress for vld. my ao3 bookmarks number in the 100s, and my to-read list is at over 250. ive made a concerted effort to be more active and engaged in the fandom, because it came so close to fizzling out, for me and maybe for everyone, but it’s brought me so much goodness that i cant and Won’t let that happen, not without a fight
it’s been just under 2 years since i decided to watch voltron on a whim. and it has honestly become a central part of my interests and identity in that time - but for the majority of it, it’s been because of fandom and fanworks, and that’s maybe what made it stick so well to begin with: the creative, varied, amazing parts of it that no network mandate could have offered on its own
this started as a way to catalog my journey into and through vld but honestly it kind of became a love letter to the fandom (at least, my corner of it). that’s what’s made these last years so special - what’s made them simultaneously fly by and feel like a solid constant. a dedicated, talented fan base who are capable of so much more than the constraints of the source material
it’s amazing to look back on, and incredible to keep looking forward to. we’ve all been told - “go, be great”
we have been, and continue to be. like the stars, and like my love for vld, it’s inevitable
so thank you all for the years of “great”. 🖤
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anotherspnfanfic · 5 years
Text
New in Town
A/N: I needed more firefighter Dean in my life...
Word count: 1500 ish
Every day around lunch time you would go for a long walk. Occasionally a run, but only on a really stressful week.
Today was no different. You pulled on your favorite yoga pants and tank top, put on your tennis shoes, and headed out the door.
You made it about 3 blocks before you started feeling a bit lightheaded. You figured you just hadn’t had enough for lunch and decided to keep going.
Six blocks in and you were feeling a bit like you had already walked several miles.
“Maybe I’m coming down with something,” you mumbled to yourself.
You decided to head back towards home. Two blocks in you were not sure you could make it all the way there. You felt like you couldn’t catch your breath and your heart was racing.
Something was wrong.
“Is this what a panic attack feels like? Am I having a panic attack?” you thought to yourself.
You turned down a street you had been down a few times since you moved in a few months earlier. Half a block down you could see the fire station.
You could see the doors open, one of the trucks pulled out front. Then you noticed Dean, Sam, and Benny moving around the apparatus floor.
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Dean was the first to notice you approaching and headed in your direction.
“You can’t keep spoiling us with baked goods all the time,” Dean started. As he closed the distance between you, you saw concern appear on his face.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Not really. I’m lightheaded and short of breath and I don’t know. I feel like I’m gonna pass out. I walk miles every day. But I’ve only gone a few blocks,” you babbled.
You had barely even noticed that Dean had taken your wrist in his hand to check your pulse as you talked.
“Am I having a panic attack?” you asked him.
“Have you ever had a panic attack before? Or anxiety?” he asked.
You shook your head a bit more roughly than you intended, immediately making yourself dizzy. Suddenly you felt like you were falling.
“Shit,” you thought you heard him mutter followed by a whistle, but it sounded so far away.
“Ow,” you mumbled as you peeled open your eyes. Taking in your surroundings, you realized you were now in the back of the ambulance.
Dean’s hands stilled momentarily from monitor leads he was applying to your chest.
“What hurts, sweetheart?” he asked, resuming his task.
You turned your head to find Benny placing an IV.
“He stabbed me, that’s what,” you told them. They chuckled.
“Sorry, darlin’. We gotta make sure you’re not dehydrated,” Benny drawled.
You closed your eyes again wanting nothing more than a little sleep.
“Nope. I need you to try to stay awake for me,” Dean told you.
You whined but pried your eyes open once again. As you did, Dean placed a nasal cannula in your nose.
“BP is 100/66,” Sam stated.
“Looks like SVT, rate of about 195,” Dean shared with Sam and Benny, “rapid bolus 250 ccs normal saline.”
“No change,” Benny announced a couple minutes later.
“Alright. 12 mg adenosine,” Dean directed to Benny before turning to you, “this might be uncomfortable for just a minute but then you should feel better.”
“How uncomfortable?” you asked grabbing his hand.
“Adenosine is in,” Benny announced.
Nearly instantly it felt as if someone had punched you square in the sternum. You heard the long beep coming from the heart monitor. Reflexively squeezing Dean’s hand.
“Just breathe, you’re okay,” you heard Sam reassure.
Then as quick as it started the pain was gone. You felt a bit better right away, immediately realizing you could no longer feel your heart pounding.
“Sinus rhythm, rate is 90,” Dean announced, “much better. Sammy, you’re driving.”
“Now can I sleep?” you whined as Sam jumped out of the back and closed the door.
“Sorry, sweetheart, not til the doc says you can,” Dean said, sympathy in his eyes.
You felt the ambulance start to move and heard Sam telling dispatch they were enroute to the hospital. You didn’t even notice you had closed your eyes.
“Open your eyes, darlin’. Tell us somethin’, maybe how to make those delicious cookies of yours...” Benny said.
You laughed, opening your eyes to hopeful looks on both of their faces.
“Sure, I could tell you... but, unfortunately, then I’d have to kill you,” you informed them.
“I’d like to see you try,” Dean teased.
“Family secret... actually, I’m the only one left that knows,” you revealed sadly.
“You don’t have any family?” Benny asked.
You simply shook your head.
Then you felt a strange flip flopping sensation in your chest.
“Couple PVCs,” Dean stated.
“What is happening?” you asked, worry getting too much.
“You’re having some arrhythmias, we can’t really know why. The doctors will run some tests to figure out exactly what’s happening and how to treat it,” Dean explained to you.
You felt it again, a few back to back, then the dizziness and the racing heart feeling was back. You groaned and closed your eyes hoping to will it away.
General POV
“Son of a... Sammy, step on it. She’s back in SVT, rate is 205,” Dean said.
“You wanna try another dose of adenosine?” Benny asked.
“Uh, yeah. 12 mg. Sweetheart, can you open your eyes for me?” Dean said running a hand down his face.
“It’s in,” Benny stated.
You hadn’t opened your eyes this time. Again, they heard the long alarm on the monitor, this time though your heart jumped straight back into SVT.
“Crap. Come on, kiddo, wake up,” Benny said.
“Can’t push another dose. Carotid massage,” Dean said, tilting your head away as he started to massage.
“Still no change,” Benny stated a few moments later.
“Pulling up,” Sam hollered from the front.
As the ambulance came to a stop the doors were pulled open.
Dean and Benny gave the rundown of your condition. “Second dose didn’t convert the rhythm and neither did a carotid massage,” Dean finished as the gurney came to a stop in a room.
“Okay, charge the paddles to 50,” the doctor directed to a nurse.
“Clear,” he announced as he placed the paddles on your chest, discharging them a moment later.
“We have sinus rhythm,” the nurse stated, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Reader POV
Two days later you were bored out of your mind watching terrible daytime TV. Recovering from cardiac ablation to correct your arrhythmia permanently.
“Hey, sweetheart,” you heard the familiar voice from the doorway.
“Dean! What are you doing here?” you asked smiling.
“Had the day off. Thought maybe you could use some company, how are you feeling?” he asked. He had one arm tucked awkwardly behind his back.
“You’re too sweet! I am a little sore, and so bored. Whatcha got in your hand?” you said.
“Umm, well, the guys and I... wanted to do something for you. We can’t bake, so we thought maybe you’d like this...” he rambled bashfully, pulling out a teddy bear. It was light brown with a little fire fighter outfit.
“Oh my god. That’s the cutest. I love it! Tell the guys I said thanks,” you said, smiling.
“Done. So how much longer they keeping you?” he asked.
“Rumor is the might be letting me go home tomorrow, fingers crossed,” you told him.
“Awesome. Hey, where’s your phone?” he asked, smirking.
You pointed to the table on the opposite side of the bed where it was plugged in.
“Why?” you asked, suspicious.
He walked over to it handing it to you to unlock, “I’m adding my number for you. You need anything at all while you’re recovering, call. Even if it’s just company for movie night,” he winked.
“That’s sweet. I don’t want to bother you,” you told him.
“It’s no bother, I promise. I’d love to get to know you better,” he explained, grabbing your hand and giving a gentle squeeze.
“I’d like that too,” you smiled.
“Okay, well, I will let you get some rest,” he said turning towards the door.
“Umm, would— I mean, maybe— could you sit? Or do you have somewhere to be? It’s just nice having company, even if I sleep through it,” you rambled nervously.
“Gladly,” he replied simply, pulling a chair next to the bed. “Get some rest, I’ll be here.”
Two weeks later...
You heard a knock at your front door, opening it to reveal an apologetic looking Dean.
“Sorry I’m so late, there was a fire right at the end of shift. I have your favorite though,” he explained lifting a bag of take out.
“It’s okay, it’s the risk I take having a fireman for a boyfriend,” you said.
“Boyfriend, huh?” he teased.
“I’m hoping...” you responded.
“I think I could get use to that,” he smiled leaning down to give you a gentle kiss, you kissed back hard, he pulled away, “food first, babe, I’m starving.”
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csnews · 5 years
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Third of all dolphin and porpoise killed in Cornwall had contact with fishing nets
Graeme Wilkinson - April 14, 2019
Around a third of all dolphins and porpoises which wash up dead on Cornwall’s beaches have been in contact with fishing nets. While the exact causes of deaths vary, the remains show cuts to the fins, severed tails and marks from entanglement in nets. The data comes from the Marine Strandings Network, whose volunteers record details of marine wildlife off the coast of Cornwall.
Network manager Ruth Williams said: “Generally, 30 per cent of the animals show evidence of by-catch, that is contact with fishing nets. It is shocking. “There are various fishing fleets that are responsible for that and there’s no one sector, so it’s not an easy fix. The fishermen don’t want to catch them and we have looked at changes in fishing activity as a possible cause, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. We’re doing a lot of work at the moment to try and find solutions to reduce that figure.” 
She said the other top two principle causes of death were disease and parasites or starvation.
The Marine Strandings Network
The Marine Strandings Network is run by Cornwall Wildlife Trust and has a 24-hour hotline for people to report stranded or dead animals on 0345 201 2626. The network has more than 120 trained volunteers, who are poised to head out in all weathers to beaches and coastal areas to record and document everything from sharks to seagulls. The operation is overseen by Ruth, 46, from her office at the wildlife trust’s headquarters, on a nature reserve at Allet near Truro.
“There is nowhere else in the country that has the same volunteer network as Cornwall,” she said. “The Marine Strandings Network has been running for 27 years now and we are unique having that volunteer network.
“To see the body of any animal inshore is upsetting and sad, but the opportunity is there for us to examine that animal and collect scientifically robust evidence. We can’t conserve those animals or address any of the threats they face unless we know and have that evidence.”
She said the data allows them to plot populations and identify the major threats to wildlife – and in Cornwall that is fishing, climate change and pollution.
Dolphins and porpoises
Ruth said it was hard to gauge the numbers of dolphin and porpoises, because they are part of much wider populations, but the numbers of strandings in Cornwall have increased significantly in recent years.
“We’ve had a couple of really peak years for sightings,” Ruth said. “It’s not down to effort to record deaths on our part. That did increase in the 1990s but since then that effort has been very steady. Numbers have increased but the reason is harder to say.”
She said 2017 had the second highest number of dead dolphins and porpoise, at 250, since the network’s records began 27 years ago. She added: “We’re also seeing a lot of feed-fish close in shore and that’s probably responsible for a lot of animals coming close in. They are all feeding on the mackerel and herring.”
While most of the animals migrate, Cornwall also has its own resident bottlenose dolphins. There are 28 identified animals in one group, which live around the south coast and St Ives.
Humpback whales
One of the rare treats of recent years have been the sight of humpback whales, notably off in the bays of St Ives and Falmouth.
“In the last three to four years, we’ve been seeing them fairly regularly,” Ruth said. “We are really lucky and because of where Cornwall sits, we get a lot of animals coming in. We know of at least two humpback whales this year, seen on the north and south coasts on the same day – so they must be individual animals.
“Humpbacks are just incredible. They are a huge migratory species, generally seen feeding up in the Arctic but they come down to warmer waters to give birth and to breed. They’ve been really close in this year so you can see them from the cliff tops.”
Sharks
Sharks are typically difficult to spot, not having to come to the surface, but again reports have increased in recent years.
“The last few years have been almost ‘seas of plenty’ where sharks are concerned,” Ruth said. “We’ve had a lot of blue sharks as well as porbeagles and thresher being sighted.
“It’s not been such a great few years for basking sharks, although because they are a fish, they don’t have to come to the surface. It may be they’re still there feeding but we just don’t see them.
She said April to June were the prime months for basking sharks to visit Cornish waters.
Blue-fin tuna
Perhaps one of the most remarkable increases in wildlife has been from tuna, which have recently been spotted off Mousehole and Penzance.
“In my 20 years at the trust, getting blue fin tuna was nearly unheard of until the last three years,” Ruth said.  They seem to be coming up from their southern waters and replenishing our seas.
“They are an amazing sight if you see them feeding – just their speed through the water. It’s a Blue Planet feeding frenzy off our south coast.”
Other notable species
Ruth said the thousands of Portuguese man o’ war, which inundated beaches in 2017, was exceptional.
“We’ve never had that influx before,” she said. “We suppose that was down to weather patterns. They are very limited swimmers and they generally live in the middle of the Atlantic.”
Other notable species sightings each year include turtles, which are common and generally sighted when there are a lot of jellyfish off Cornwall, and the huge sunfish. In her time at the network, Ruth said other incredible visitors include the massive fin whales, which can grow up to 60 feet in length and are seen passing between Land’s End and the Isles of Scilly. Much rarer and not sighted recently are orca, commonly known as killer whales, although they have been sighted off Cornwall in the past.  
“Many years ago, I once saw two orcas feeding on basking sharks off Porthcurno. It was an incredible sight,” she added.
Plastics
Ruth said she welcomed the huge interest and awareness over the problems with plastic in the seas. However, she said they should not distract from the major issues of pollution. She said examination of stranded seabirds has revealed they all have plastic in the stomachs, although dolphins and porpoises tend to be intelligent enough to avoid eating plastics.
“It’s great that it’s getting the attention and people are so aware of it,” she said. “I think it’s a great thing to see that momentum but we need to make sure it’s put in perspective. Plastics are a threat but it is one of many threats. The biggest threats are climate change and pollution. We are very lucky in the south west where we still have diversity of species. A lot of other areas have lost that diversity and gone down to very reduced species of fish because of habitat change. Predominately, that’s down to the fishing industry. We’ve still got the diversity here in Cornwall, but the overall numbers are way down on what they were say a century ago.”
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laurens-lil-fics · 6 years
Text
Picture Perfect (Matt Murdock x Reader) Pt. 7
Summary: a local photographer finds herself in a spot of trouble after taking a couple pictures in the wrong place at the wrong time. She seeks out Page, Nelson & Murdock for help, but it comes in a form she doesn’t anticipate.
Word Count: 1962
Warnings: Slow burn. Violence. Blood. Angst. Ugly men.
Author’s Note: Chapter 7, let’s get groovin! This one’s a little short but the next chapter will make it worth it! 
So unfortunately links on posts are deleting the posts from the search tag? It’s really weird, but if you want to look back at previous or future chapters, I’m tagging this “Picture Perfect” on my blog. So just search it in my blog and you’ll find all the chapters there. Than’s so much for reading and sorry for the inconvenience!
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There was no telling how long Pointdexter had been gone. It had felt like minutes. Maybe it was an hour. (Y/n) had no idea how quickly he worked, but that didn’t stop her from trying to get out.
The room wasn’t all that big, it looked more like a basement than some warehouse. It definitely wasn’t bigger than 250 square feet. 
(Y/n) stared longingly at the pile of belongings placed beside the easy chair. Her kitten heels, her coat, and most importantly her phone. Glancing back at the chain, she gave it an experimental tug, gasping at the sharp pain in her ankle.
She crawled about as far as the chain would let her, coming nowhere near close to her belongings. 
“Fucker!” she slammed her hand on the cement floor, feeling herself start to lose her cool.
(Y/n) made her way back to her corner, resting her head against the padded wall. Her eyes absentmindedly trailed over the IV drip before realization hit her.
She slowly stood up, relying on her uninjured foot and the padded wall to keep her upright. She carefully took the bag off the hook and slid down the wall. Resting the bag against the corner, she took hold of the long, metal rod.
The sound of the rod dragging against the floor was like nails on a chalkboard. The hook just barely made it to the pile. Everything was folded and placed neatly, if this didn’t work then he would know she tried to get out.
With one pull, her phone slid across the floor, stopping just in her reach.
The screen was wrecked and the power was shut off. She held down the power button and prayed to anyone that was listening that the phone would still be functional after the crash.
She exclaimed with joy as it turned on and unlocked it. “No Service”
(Y/n) grunted as she stood up once again and held the phone above her head, hoping it would catch signal.
“Matt if you go for that IV one more time I swear to God i’m gonna punch you in the face.”
Matt groaned frustratedly, wishing that Foggy had gone with Karen to get coffee instead of sticking around. He knew Foggy was smarter than to leave Matt all alone while (Y/n) was off God knows where.
“Then get the damn use in here so she can take this needle out of me. I need to go find her.”
“Look, even if you got out of here in the next five minutes, you still have no leads on where Pointdexter could have taken her.” Foggy reasoned.
“She’s in danger, Foggy. He could kill her in the next hour. The more time I spend in here the more she’s at risk.” Matt said, feeling Foggy’s heartbeat shift as his anger began to flare up.
“Do you think she needs-” Foggy paused as a nurse passed by the room. He leaned in closer to Matt, opting to settle for whisper yelling instead of the real thing. “Do you think she wants a half dead Daredevil busting in to save her? She needs you at your best, healed and rested,”
“You don’t understand...” Matt’s tone went soft, he rested his head against the pillow, prompting Foggy to stand down.
“Then help me understand, Matt... Why is it so important you don’t wait at least an hour? Why can’t you trust the police to find her? Why does it have to be you?” Foggy asked, his voice losing its edge.
“The last thing I said to her... one of the last things that actually mattered... I told her she was nothing to me...” his voice wavered, it was almost unnoticeable. But to Foggy, who had known Matt for years, it was something he picked up on instantly. “I said she was just my client, and I was just her attorney...”
Foggy slowly took the seat beside the hospital bed, his eyes softening at his best friend’s confession. “... But you want it to be more than that, huh?”
Matt’s lips parted. The words were on his lips, aching to jump off the tip of his tongue. But he only nodded.
“She and I... we were together, I took her out after the Fratellis were taken into custody... She was so close, I could taste her on my lips...” His voice ebbed into a whisper at the memory. He could feel his heart swelling as he remembered the feel of her so close to him. 
“B-But then I heard him... Pointdexter... I had to take her home.” The heat that flooded his core had gone. He remembered hearing the way Pointdexter chuckled as he found the two. How his heartbeat quicken. He was excited.
“Then you had to cover yourself...” Foggy deduced, watching his best friend closely.
“I hurt her Fog... and that’s all she’s gonna think about when Pointdexter kills her... If I don’t get to her first.”
Once the bars showed up at the left corner of the phone screen, (Y/n) could practically taste freedom.
Several missed calls and text message notifications popped up on her screen. All from Foggy and Karen. Matt must have been in the hospital.
She tapped on Foggy’s name, trying her best to hold the phone as high as she could while also typing out her message.
Still alive
In basement
Don’t know where
She hit send, hoping the messages would make their way to him. Immediately she saw that he had begun typing a response. Before she could read it, she could hear movement coming from upstairs. She put the phone on silent and carefully balanced it on the hook. She inched the rod towards the pile of her belongings and carefully set the phone down on top of her clothing.
She lost her footing and fell to the ground. She struggled to get back up and place the IV drip back in it’s place as she heard the door to the stairs open. She flopped to the ground once everything was back in order and closed her eyes, trying her best not to look guilty.
“Chow time!”
Pointdexter came jogging down the stairs, with a little pep in his step. He tossed a pistol onto his chair and began rooting through the bags he had in his hands.
“Now, just because I’ve got you locked up doesn’t mean we can’t be a little civilized.” He pulled two china plates from the bag and set them on a small table he had set up in the corner of the room. He began serving the food he had fought onto the plated and carried one over to her.
“These lovely plates are courtesy of Mr. Baker, one of the other witnesses your lawyers found. Lucky for us he decided to make a quick stop at his apartment before heading into police custody.” He smiled, dropping the plate onto the floor and allowing it to shatter before (Y/n).
Judging by the way he was looking at her, he was obviously expecting her to start meeting her food off the floor. She picked up the greasy burger he had tossed on her plate and brushed the ceramic chips off of it, before reluctantly taking a bite.
“Ugh, you make that look so good.” He groaned, returning to his own dinner and plopping into his easy chair to eat it. He moaned at the first bite, closing his eyes to savor the flavor.
(Y/n) took a big chunk of the plate from the pile and snuck it under her pencil skirt. She quickly took another bite, hoping to cover her actions with the sound of her chewing.
After the meal was done, Pointdexter approached her and began collecting the ceramic pieces from the ground, knowing she would try to use them to escape if he left them there.
“If I had a little more time I would have stopped by that Thai place by your boyfriend’s apartment.” (Y/n) tensed at the mention of Matt, something Pointdexter caught.
“If he weren’t in the hospital maybe I would have paid him a visit too, told him you were okay...” He cupped (Y/n)’s chin with one hand, mushing her cheeks together and shaking her face slightly. “Told him your pretty little face got banged up a little bit but other than that you were fine...”
(Y/n)’s fingers brushed over the ceramic shard in her skirt, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
He brought his face closer to hers, forcing her to look into his eyes. “You’re not as beautiful as Julie...” he murmured to himself, becoming lost in his own thoughts. 
(Y/n) pulled the shard from her skirt and sliced crossed his chest, screaming as she attacked him. 
He howled in pain and flung himself backwards, grasping at his wound in shock.
(Y/n) held the shard in front of her, wielding it like a blade, and did her best to keep her hand steady. “Stay the fuck back or I swear to God I won’t miss again!”
Pointdexter lunged at her and delivered a swift punch to her jaw, knocking her unconscious. 
When (Y/n) awoke, the first thing she was was Pointdexter’s blurry figure in his chair. Her eyes came into focus, and she felt bile rise in her throat as she watched him stitching his own wound she had left him. The shard she used was rested on the arm of the chair.
“That wasn’t very nice...” he murmured, “I try to be nice... I try to be patient. Hell, I even fed you!” his voice slowly grew louder.
“And this is how you repay me?!” he grabbed the shard, holding it up for her to see. “This?!”
It all happened so quick. (Y/n) had heard very little about Pointdexter from Matt, Foggy and Karen. Of the few things they mentioned, extreme anger issues wasn’t one of them.
(Y/n) gasped, staring at Pointdexter as he tried to control his breathing. She slowly looked down at her stomach, lifting her hand to it. Her fingers grazed the ceramic shard imbedded in her gut, testing to see if it was really there or not.
She looked back up at her captor, watching him put on a fresh shirt and his jacket as he headed towards the stairs. “I’ll be back to check on you in an hour... If you’re not dead by then, I’ll make sure you’ll wish you were.”
(Y/n) blinked, and he was gone.
For a moment, all she did was breathe. Then a scream slowly clawed its way out of her injured core and up through her throat, echoing into the empty room. She screamed and sobbed and slammed her fists against the cement, unwilling to accept that she would die in that basement.
She let out another long scream before slowly resting her head against the wall, the scream slowly dying in her throat.
Her eyes slowly fluttered open, landing on her phone resting on her coat.
Her friends told her little about Pointdexter. But they did tell her how they took him down.
She repeated the process of getting the IV drip, this time allowing it the fall to the floor. She pulled the needle from her arm and winced at the pain, grateful for the quick distraction from the shard sticking out of her body.
(Y/n) reached out with the rod, whimpering in pain as she stretched to get ahold of it. She hooked the coat and her phone, pulling both towards her at a snails pace.
She turned on the phone, no signal again. Rather than trying to stand and catch a signal, she turned on the phone’s front facing camera, and began to record.
“My name is (Y/n) (L/n)... I think this is called a dying declaration...”
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Can someone tell me wher to find a DMV in allentown PA?
Can someone tell me wher to find a DMV in allentown PA?
I need to register my car in PA but i can t find a DMV....so weird.
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSUREQUOTE.US
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I need to register my car in PA but i can t find a DMV....so weird.
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I need to register my car in PA but i can t find a DMV....so weird.
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