#ive realized i draw myself/my persona a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starrixle · 3 months

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my final thoughts on sootcest

ok, so officially im gonna close off my thoughts here. ive received a good amount of feedback so this will be the last thing ill say abt my thoughts on glitterduo/sootcest:

i am indifferent on selfcest shipping. idk if its proship or not, but i will remain distanced either way, for my own and other people's comfort with me and my content

i still enjoy bursonas and i will still keep drawing them and be present in the fandom, but i will not be involved in anything relating to shipping

any glitterduo art i post will be strictly platonic, same for any of the other bursonas

i do not hate or support sootcest, nor will i attack anyone who ships it. i do not care what your opinion is, i won't hate you for shipping bursonas together. just do not involve me in it

it is not my or anyone else's place to speak on wilbur's boundaries, only himself

as for my own boundaries:

do not involve me in discourse relating to sootcest (or selfcest altogether). i dont want to be associated

do not repost my old romantic glitterduo art. i cant force everyone, but id appreciate if any reblogs relating to my older art were deleted

if you disagree with anything i say, it is not worth any more of my time or energy to argue back, and it is not worth yours either

please stop messaging me about sootcest!!! i will leave my inbox open but i will close it if i continue to get messages about it

i haven't given myself much of a chance to step back and realize how much getting involved and constantly feeling the need to post lengthy texts towards by thoughts has taken so much energy out of me. i do regret having an aggresive tone in my past impulsively made posts, which is why ive deleted a lot of them. but from now on, i wish to just remain as an artist that just likes drawing silly little wilbur personas. shipping bursonas shouldn't be a big deal to me. i have made my own mistakes throughout this whole thing, but i at least wanna close things off here.

i know my old glitterduo art has brought enjoyment/comfort to many people, but it has also brought discomfort for others including myself. i know im not gonna be able to please everyone and people will have their disagreements towards me no matter what.

but for the sake of my own comfort, im stepping away from this subject. i have no ill feelings towards anyone who has communicated with me about this topic, and i thank everyone who has been civil towards me and given me advice.

im moving on.

#important

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max1mum0verdr1ve · 2 years

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a compilation of some sketches ive done over the past while, ill post more eventually

#i dont post my normal art here very often but heres some stuff i liked #max.png #my art #one of these was for my brother #ive realized i draw myself/my persona a lot #max ocs #oc: dennix lowell #oc: kira novan #oc: persona

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pespillo · 2 years

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man.

you know what , yeah , ive been a major jackass for gd knows what long, i am bossy, i am annoying at times, i tend to take the wheel umprompted , i think I Know SOOOO much even when really im throwing stuff at the wall seeing what sticks best, i hype myself up because i legitimately feel like i need to do it , maybe im overcompensating a lot, i know i can make people feel Bad when i talk to them and criticize them , i think you all got all the right to criticize me when its due, i Should Drop Shit faster when some things turns out to be bad and not just hold the hot coal 6 months after the fact because my head tells me “there may be a chance things do an upturn right? maybe theres some inner company logistics i dont know about” n wait around like a fucking dog, barking but not biting . I Should have bitten. Maybe i should have been a kinder person sometimes , maybe i should have been a meaner person other times . And if i ever made you feel bad over something small, i Am sorry, i mean it, you deserved better.

but when i tell you all you dont know even half of me i really mean it, you guys dont know the fucking shit ive been through the past 5 years dealing with family and unemployment , i know it seems like i fucking got it alll together , that because i draw well enough to gain a measly income every month , im just living la vida loca and building this hugeee ego about my persona online , You dont fucking know me , and if you do? lemme tell you, i got dumped out from a newish group because apparently they couldnt Ever Tell me that i was a bit too bossy when roleplaying for a stupid fucking arg , they just decided to all block me and ghost me , PRETENDING to be all like “no no we wouldnt ever just cut people off like that lol” , i tried acting like i was gonna be fine, but i felt worthless and abandoned for a good ass month or two , like i did something so awful that it was just better to dump me off like that without any answers or closure , turns out , it was just some petty rp bullshit because how dare i tell someone that their writing can be a bit Much i guess. and you know what ? after i learned that this month, im done being a spineless doormat , i realized just by this stupid drama, i WAS being a doormat to cawthon , i was treating this franchise like it was a real “friend” just because im horribly mentally ill about it and let it overtake me in my late teens, and since it was sooo hard to dump a “friend” i just felt like i JUST couldnt do it full on. thats so fucking dumb isnt it?

listen i have no fucking idea where some of you get the idea that i am some kind of , harasser or some shit like, fine , if you build this idea of me in your head because you think i receive too many compliments (its not like im asking for them , i am not gonna reject Kindness) sure whatever, but i dont waste my fucking time sending anons or calling out random people for nothing, literally i just sit here having to witness vile shit out in the public from people who are legit unapologetic and then putting out a post or two saying “hey what the fuck is wrong with these people please dont expose vulnerable people to the gross shit you put out for sexual gratification”. When do i ever act like im hot shit? i feel like a fucking wimp every day of my life, i feel like im a fragile bitch about everything , like i walk around and feel like i wanna cry but im supposed to suck it alllll up because im a grown ass man now and i need to keep people i care about safe , at all costs, even if most of the time i really wanna say “i wanna kill myself” .

ive said this before, but i am not gonna lay my guts in the sun for strangers to gawk and look at me , not anymore. this is the LAST time i am laying down my problems like this , if you want to seriously talk to me. do it , do it because i literally dont care about blocking random people , i am not gonna fucking block any of you unless you legitimately want me to or , actively try harassing me or harm me or others . And i have good faith in so many people, you should feel good about yourself for having guts to tell it like it is.

anyways, i wish everyone a happy new year´s eve or just , a happy new year, keep yourselves safe and have a good time

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ac1dp1xxx31-d0t-3xe · 2 years

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//cw? im gonna swear and yell in all caps//

heeyyy yall thought id give an update lots have happened and ⟟ haven’t been posting ⏃ ton so lets talk

1st off im ditching the cr1nge lul scemo persona im not saying it was disingenuous or ⟟ hate it now its just not me anymore. yall might have already noticed i haven’t been going as heavy on it. but yeah its gone and the only typing quirk is my ender symbols for i (⟟) and a (⏃) cuz ⟟ think it looks cool and im learning the ender language (its ⏃ minecraft thing)

2nd - so im trans right. im ⏃ non-binary agender transmasc. ive been meaning to make more transition updates but my attention span is ⏃ spastic squirrel on drugs. so heres that finally :)))

the face reveal ⟟ did was me drawing cat whiskers on myself as ⏃ reclamation of my dan and phil phase. if you saw it my hair was long and curly in ⏃ ponytail because having it down was too fem

well ya bitch finally cut it

if ur vigilant youll also see my nose piercing thats also new

material gworl

thx mom :)))

but as you can see the hair its VERY VERY GENDER

⟟ cant believe ⟟ cucked myself out of looking like this for 14 years

anyway hair dysphoria over and thats was it for ⏃ while ⟟ saw no issues with my body

yet.

YALL NO SHIT ⟟ CONVINCED MYSELF SINCE ⟟ REALIZED ⟟ WAS TRANS MASC THAT ⟟ DIDNT HAVE CHEST DYSPHORIA

⟟ really did the trans guy posture and fluff out my shirt to look in the mirror and see flat then proceed to tell myself ⟟ only wanted to see them gone was because other ppl would think girl if see boobs not becuz ⟟ didnt like them

😐😑😐

y am ⟟ literally gaslighting myself

anyway im binding now

look at how swag that is im so flat aahhhh (ᗒᗨᗕ)

yall might not really notice cuz you haven’t seen me not binding but ⟟ RLY dont wanna post that so take my word for it ;3

and peep the danger days merch

material gworl

⟟ have to stop doing that-

its not an actual binder its ⏃ sports bra and ⏃ tight swim top. but it kinda works really well

⟟ am saving up for one tho >:3

and dont worry im gonna be safe abt it

anyways im alive thanks for reading

take care of urselves nerds

#trans enby #trans #transmasc #transgender #trans pride #trans positivity #trans guy #update #lgbtq #non binary #agender #demiboy #hair reveal #binder #chest binding #bind safely #binder boy #im alive #gay

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seagullsausage · 3 years

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its time for an update ig

so i don’t think im gonna deactivate. im thinking about changing my username, but theres a lot of stuff on this blog, and a lot of memories that i dont wanna just throw away. what will i use this blog for? idk. to interact with friends, take asks, rb random stuff, post random life updates. the usual stuff.

but i think a big thing im going to do is stop with ego-related content. it used to be fun chatting about the boys and such, but ive realized that it actually causes me a lot of anxiety among other reasons i dont wanna share. i will not be writing any more fanfic, and will probably either leave my writing blog as is, or repurpose it. ill be getting rid of some of my sideblogs as well.

i feel bad, since im one of the last people in my mutual circle who still liked these boys, but i simply can’t do it anymore. its less that ive lost interest, and again, for more mental health and personal reasons. its ok to be upset or sad at this, and im totally fine if u guys want to unfollow. i wont be completely severing myself from the community-if yall wanna send asks or messages about them, i will still answer them. ill still be interacting with the lovely content my mutuals make, and i will probably keep drawing the lads. i just wont be writing fics or making lore posts anymore.

but with that out of the way, i would like to move on and work on other things, including my youtube channel, my art blog over at @sausageseagull, and maybe even my ego fusion side blog, @seagsfusionshowcase, so make sure you keep an eye on those. writing was fun, but id like to work more on my art, and work on some of my ocs/fusions/creative ideas that took a backburner to the egos.

im feeling a little better today, my anxieties been waning and i feel like ive experienced a mini ego death regarding my internet persona. but, i think not focusing on ego content anymore is a good change for me, and im planning for fun and cool projects in the future.

so if u didnt feel like reading this nonsensical post:

im stayin around babeyyy

no more writing ego content; will still interact and maybe draw

cleaning out side blogs

follow my art and fusion blogs for more content coming soon 👀

also my yt channel that i keep wanting to do more with

im doing fine now ig

thats it that was the big update post

ok yall can move on with ur day

#i might return to making full time ego content #someday #but for now im stepping back from it #i hope u guys understand #i appreciate all the love and support u guys have given me through this rough week ive been having #u r da best <3 #im very sleepy so i hope this post was coherent haha

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getallemeralds · 6 years

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i went on a long ramble on twitter and realized i was going to stop so im gonna talk about some personal stuff relating to “leo shitposts about system shenanigans at 2 am”. the bulk of this is gonna be under a cut but

im fictionkin, ive been a multiple system for like 7 years now, and both of those things are a major part of my life and my identity. our identity. identities? overall identity. i used to be really really open about it on my old tumblr, but then i went through a horrendous amount of abuse, lost contact with all my friends, had the foundation of myself as a person completely torn down, and when i came back i was still kinda open about it but gradually tapered off because i was scared of potential backlash for being cringey/too weird/etc. especially now that im apparently a popular artist in the jsab fandom.

jsab is not only my current major special interest, but had enough of an effect on me for myself & my alters to form strong attachments to the characters and, well, pick up kintypes. we even have a fictive of [drumrolls] cube. that’s just something that’s a Thing with us. and, yeah, it does... it does affect our askblog, because it started out as Hex (who’s kin of square) goofing off and wanting to do fun jsab stuff. the palanauts stream was entirely “irl swears plays jsab and makes funny jokes”.

“so why dont you talk about it anymore?” my abuser gaslit me to hell and back and i forgot who i even was. tumblr has always been full of “kin drama”-- i was here during 2013, trust me, ive seen it-- but after returning from 7 months of emotional hell i saw that the climate had entirely changed in a really weird way. like, yeah, kin was more widespread and known about, but it was still like... a joke. or annoying.

we also feel very self-conscious about the things we kin, and there’s a bunch of reasons: we feel like we’re being cringey, we feel like we shouldn’t have this level of connection (hex especially has a lot of embarrassment about “why am i kin of a tiny cyan square that says fuck”), there’s been a couple of instances where there has been, like, fandom drama because of us or a friend being too open about kintypes in situations where the creator was hands-on with the fandom and saw it as people “stealing characters”.

and its like... i know other jsab kins! im not the only one! counting my own system i think i know one of, like, everybody. but the problem is: i am now running an askblog with 140+ followers. people react to me as if i am a big popular person that is intimidating bc i... am apparently a big name in the fandom now or something? (ill admit this really really confuses me and probably will until the end of time). so like... how are people going to react to “oh, yeah, the person that runs justasksandbeats is a kinnie system and the dialogue from swears/friend/cube is his alters writing how they would respond in a given situation”.

although that does mean that, yes, the art cube draws on ja&b IS drawn by Actual IRL Cube. the rest of the art is a collab effort between the whole system but if we get an ask asking cube to draw, then cube fronts and draws. hex thinks its really cute.

im rambling a lot, sorry... i guess its just, i want to be open about stuff, because i am Very open on my twitter. im just also scared that people are going to react negatively, especially now that i have followers that met me through the askblog or the tag. i also have trouble being talkative on tumblr in general because my post modes are either “several consecutive short posts like i do on twitter” or “long walls of text no one wants to read” like this. but ive like... just. gradually stopped being The Real Me on here and its making us feel weird. im still gonna keep up the persona on the askblog as Being A Normal Person Who’s Just A Huge Dweeb but at least on here i want to like... i dont know.

uhhh thanks for reading if you got this far i guess

#txt #leo chirps #long post /#system shit

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gamerzcourt · 6 years

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Nier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Discuss What Games They Admire MostNier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Discuss What Games They Admire Mostvideo games

New Post has been published on http://www.gamerzcourt.com/nier-psychonauts-and-other-devs-discuss-what-games-they-admire-mostnier-psychonauts-and-other-devs-discuss-what-games-they-admire-mostvideo-games/

Nier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Discuss What Games They Admire MostNier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Discuss What Games They Admire Mostvideo games

These past few years have yielded an amazing roster of games that we personally love. With so many fantastic experiences out there, we began to grow curious over what games developers particularly enjoy. During our time spent at this year’s GDC, we had the opportunity to interview a wide variety of game developers and key figures in the industry, so we decided to ask what current game they find inspiring and admire the most, and why.

As you’ll see from the responses below, the games each developer adores might not come as a surprise to you, especially if you’re familiar with their work or tastes. Others had some surprising picks that you probably wouldn’t expect. What current games do you admire the most? Let us know in the comments below. And be sure to check out feature detailing the 25 best games you might’ve not heard of that we saw at GDC 2018.

Chad and Jared Moldenhauer, Directors of Cuphead

Jared Moldenhauer (left) and Chad Moldenhauer (right)

Jared Moldenhauer: I have a library of 100+ games that I’m working towards currently. But one of the earlier games that I chose and found very rewarding was Hollow Knight. It’s an interesting and challenging Metroidvania. And the visuals and the universe that they created, and the feeling within all the characters; I was happy playing every minute of it.

Chad Moldenhauer: I recently started and really enjoy The Witness. I was looking forward to that for a long time!

Yoshinori Terasawa, Danganronpa Series Producer

Yoshinori Terasawa: I love the Persona series. I adore the sense of personality that those games have. I really like how cool and stylish they are.

Rami Ismail, Producer of Nuclear Throne

Rami Ismail: So many games have really sparked me. Games that really stand out to me are Engare and Farsh, by Mahdi Bahrami, both games based on this Iranian heritage. I was very impressed by This War of Mine, which gives a unique perspective on war. Just seeing that tremendous shift in perspective translated into a game that is so powerful and poignant, that reminds me that there is so much more out there.

Tom Kaczmarczyk, Producer of Superhot

Tom Kaczmarczyk: Our game director [Piotr Iwanicki] who actually came up with the idea, he often cites an indie flash game called, Time4Cat, as one of the inspirations, because it did have the same sort of time automation mechanic. For me, I love Hotline Miami because of its action sequences. A lot of what we pick up come from action movies, and from the way people design cinematic experiences where you fall into a certain archetype of a situation, and you immediately understand what’s going on.

Tim Schafer, Founder of Double Fine (Psychonauts, Brutal Legend)

Tim Schafer

Tim Schafer: Lately, a game that really made a big effect on me–it sounds really cliché–but Breath of the Wild was a huge thing. I just loved it. Everyone loves something different about games, there’s no one game that’s perfect for everybody, but it made me realize that my number one thing is exploration. I’m constantly exploring and surprised and I just love it and I play it all the time. I also love Loot Rascals, which is a great roguelike, and I’ve recently been playing Persona 5, which is just amazing. Amazing style and tone, it’s so polished.

Jason Roberts, Director of Gorogoa

Jason Roberts: In 2017, I was a big fan of Inside and Night in the Woods; those were big games for me. I’m big on tone, mood, atmosphere. These are important to me. And I love those games. And I also, this year, I think Florence and any game from Annapurna are just very carefully, precisely created with tone and atmosphere. That’s what I value.

Dean Ayala, Hearthstone Senior Game Designer + Dave Kozack, Hearthstone Lead Narrative Designer

Dean Ayala: Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. It’s a roguelike released back in 1997. A lot of the Hearthstone design team plays it. It’s super old-school.

Dave Kozack: It has been in continuous development; it’s one of those community projects. That’s why the name, Stone Soup. But we played a lot of rogue-likes while we were working on Dungeon Run, and that was one of our favorites. It’s just something we keep coming back to as a team. It’s a lot of fun.

Ian Dallas, Creative Director of What Remains Of Edith Finch

Ian Dallas

Ian Dallas: For me, the last game that affected me emotionally in a strong way was Universal Paperclips. A game about clicking on buttons and manufacturing paperclips that I just found myself lost in for 8 hours. It was really like a troubling emotional experience, and it’s amazing that it comes out of just text on a webpage. It reaffirms the power of video games and the way that they can teach you things about yourself and about the world that you couldn’t really internalize in any other way.

Chelsea Hash, Technical Artist of What Remains Of Edith Finch

Chelsea Hash: Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice. Their commitment to the multimedia format and drawing from different rendering styles to support their vision was something that I was glad to be able to experience, something that was willing to think outside the box.

Damon Baker, Nintendo Publisher and Developer Relations

Damon Baker: I can’t choose one game. It is like choosing my favorite child! There are so many different types of experiences. Most recently I am working my way through Night in the Woods. I haven’t been able to play that previously, and having a lot of flights lately has given me more flexibility to get through a lot of indie content. Of course, I totally enjoyed Celeste. I vowed not to use assist mode on that game at all and beat it; but it took me 1800 deaths or something to get through it, but it was a beautiful game.

Matt Thornson, Director of Celeste

Matt Thornson: I’ve been really enjoying my time with Into the Breach. It’s amazing!

Victor Kislyi, Wargaming CEO (World of Tanks)

Victor Kislyi: Civilization. All of them, because I started playing from Civ I. Now, believe it or not, before playing World of Tanks last night I was playing Civilization and I was playing on the plane on my way here. Civ 6 is amazing, and it was my MBA. I’m a physicist by education but, playing Civilization, all those layers, economy, exploration, politics, military, science, religion–your brain is trained to juggle those multiple layers like almost instantly, or at least very, very correctly. And, that’s a good analogy with business, people, finance, media, failures, exploration, etc., etc. I think Civilization, as a concept, as a game, actually, is more valuable to humanity than Mona Lisa.

Yoko Taro, Director of Nier: Automata

Yoko Taro: I think that Grand Theft Auto IV and Super Mario Bros. are two big games that influenced me when making Nier. But with games from the past–not modern games–I felt more freedom or challenge as a player. Let’s say we have a black background with a white dot on it and let’s call it the space. I feel like that really creates freedom, especially in terms freedom of imagination, and challenging the dev team to create a world without really being able to express that world visually. In that sense, I feel that in the past, game developers were trying to create a new frontier. They were trying to expand the world, expand the universe of gaming industry.

Yoko Taro (left) and Takahira Taura (right)

Now that the game industry has matured pretty much now, a lot of people actually go for a more safe game. They try to make all the consumers happy with that one game. I think that that actually limits to what they can do and I feel that no one is really trying to expand that arena or expand that world anymore. I am a little bit sad about that.

Takahisa Taura, Designer Of Nier: Automata + Metal Gear Rising

Takahisa Taura: When The Witcher 3 came out, we all played it and had fun with it, but we also looked at it to see what would we do if we created a game like this. We were using The Witcher 3 as a learning experience on how to create an RPG. I think that’s where it all started. Well, that’s where we came from, so it wasn’t too difficult of a task to create a JRPG.”

GameSpot News

#Admire #devs #Discuss #Games #MostNier #Mostvideo #Nier #Psychonauts #They

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circusballoon · 7 years

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👴👣 :)

👴: Which OC is your oldest, creation wise?

That would be Kat! I’ve ultimately had her since I was like… fiiive…?

Originally, she was a clumsy superhero alien named Super Cat who wasn’t great at her work and tended to get her claws stuck in stuff. She dealt with villainous vampires, dragons, and dogs, and had a small collection of friends I no longer remember.The characters around her began to change, though a few stayed the same. A vampire named “Vincent” has been around from very little kid drawings, but then her friends Dew and Steve are a bit newer (created when I was 12 or so).

For a while I was going to make a comic called, unsurprisingly, Super Cat, which went through a lot of ideas for how it was going to be done. All of them were utterly terrible, but it was fun to plot nonetheless.

Nowadays she’s a bratty vigilante demon I don’t do enough with. :(

(Super Cat:)

👣: Which OC is your newest?

I have absolutely no idea how to classify this. On one hand, I have this nerd:

They’re definitely my newest design, but I haven’t decided yet if they’re going to be an OC or just a representation of myself. I lean towards persona, but I have problems with commitment.Otherwise, I was going to say this…

...was the design most recently gifted to me (by @metmezekt) who’s going to be a character once I find a place for them, but realized after drawing that that’s a lie. It’s actually this:

But this little critter from @metmezekt doesn’t even have a name or place yet, so I’m not sure if it counts.

Of characters that have a name and a purpose, this one would be the newest:

Teador! He’s the AU counterpart to my character, Tilly, and is studying (sci-fi) robotics in order to be able to make children’s toys.

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chxrimoya · 7 years

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ok i guess i’ll finally get around to typing this whole journal post i meant to for the past damn week lmao.

so it’s tuesday night and i’ve ditched class last wed, this past mon and figure drawing today. i just ain’t up for it. for some reason my sleep quality is so poor, even with a full night’s sleep, i can’t stop myself from napping for 3-4 hours. it’s getting in the way of me doing stuff honestly? i get home and want to clean up my room, play some persona, or draw or SOMETHING but sleep is obviously a priority. it sucks but i gotta do it, lacking sleep just makes it so much easier for me to get into a depressive episode. maybe it’s the irregularity of my sleep? for a long time i didn’t sleep past 2am but i slept at like 4am couple of times in the last two weeks or so.

this past week or two i’ve slowly progressed from one thing bothering me to another and now i can’t even place my discontent. general malaise, as i’ve been telling other people. hopefully writing this helps me find some fkn way to articulate myself? lmao. honestly i don’t know why, talking to other people helps me cope but hasn’t helped me confront the feelings. they’re still there, bothering me, and i would like them to go away? but they won’t anytime soon i’m sure. and i, as usual, am invalidating myself and how i feel so megakek

so i’ll talk to my journal like i’m talking to someone.

so recently, i introduced my friend, let’s call her Nu, to my regular group of friends who i usually play games with. i invited her to a bbq at J’s house, and it’s all good and stuff, day passes. I tell her before anything, these lot of men aren’t good at all as dating options but i wouldn’t judge her otherwise, because you can’t rly help who you pick. the only two dudes that day available were J and H and both are kinda shitty, but H is way more shitty than J is; J just got his issues to work out. but fast forward, H messages me about wanting to pursue Nu, and was convinced on trying to be a better person, bc one night on discord we were talking about art and things in general, and i just flat out said i don’t think he’s a good person and he has a lot to work on? so after he says to me on FB, hey thanks i needed someone to say that to me and seemed genuine, so my kind ass heart is like ok sure i’ll help you. he asks me genuinely if it’s ok for him to ask me for help so i say yeah, ofc. he realizes hes being selfish pursing this girl because he’s never had a gf, and that J was also interested but he values himself over J. this was mean of me, but i said frankly to H that i agreed, J is in no place to have a relationship because his life is a fucking mess at home; no school, no work, car’s not passing smog and his dad and mom are still shitty as always (his dad can die for all i care). later tho J agreed with me bc i brought it up with him. anyway, couple days later me and H talk and this guy, he’s probably the shittiest offender i know, because he says autistic, retarded, faggot, gook, all in jest and i HATE him for it. i’m not gonna pick a fight because his dumb conservative ass can choke now, for all i care. i have depression and triggers that send me into episodes, so he keeps using “triggered” all casually and it bothers me. it’s disrespectful. so i ask him if he could avoid using it around me, and i see the typing bubbles for like 4 minutes and this guy is typing an essay about how i’m wrong. deletes it, sends “Lol alright” but goes onto his stupid shpiel anyway even though i wanted to drop it. accuses me of “artificially killing the word” even though i just THINK it’s disrespectful, talking to me in a know-it-all fashion because fucking men always do this. so i remember, this entire time, why i didn’t like him, so i decide this bitch is on his fucking own. but me, being the soft-hearted individual i am, didn’t get mad till couple days later and indignant about the whole ordeal. before my anger, Nu and H and me went to eat and shop a little so fucc everything seemed fine and dandy!! and even now i still help this disrespectful child because i care for Nu, even though I don’t know her well enough to be super comfortable with her. I’m naturally an open person, but the comfort i’m talking about comes with time and i just haven’t known her that long. but Nu, she’s had a bad history that ended only recently, and i honestly would kill for her bc she deserves to be happy. not being pushed around by men who vy for her attention? she deserves someone who cares and validates her, but can still set her straight bc she’s a stubborn girl. the men in her life haven’t been good to her, and she hardly had friends before i met her at work? so i want to be someone she can rely on and talk to but i don’t want her withdrawing into the comfort of a man that can’t even comfort and face his own issues without his toxic pride getting in the way. because that what H is to me.

he calls me saturday before mothers day, 9amish and tells me he accidentally stood Nu up. he obviously feels guilty. but maybe he’s only guilty because he’ll lose his chance with this girl if he fucks up. i’m tired, i comfort him telling him it’s not his fault, because apparently he overslept his alarm and didn’t wake up until Nu called him. Nu also told me that she had been waiting for an hour for him, showed up 30 minutes early to look nice and surprise him, but when she called 30 minutes after the meetup time, she just wanted to go home. she had limited time that day so she wanted to do breakfast at 8. he wants to make it up to her with a gift, but she doesn’t want a gift, so i tell him to draw something for her bc it’s more sentimental. after the call i talk to Nu about it and she seems pretty upset actually, and after everything, she just tells me she feels “jaded” but she’ll get over it.

i don’t approve. i really don’t. i hate this guy but i can’t really be consumed to even be marginally mean to him because Nu is interested, but even she acknowledges maybe she’s been starved of proper affection that she’s just reveling in it. if this guy can’t be bothered to do me a favor, when im trying to be his wingman and get him on good footing with this girl, i’ll fucking light the bridge on fire. but it’s not my choice to make, Nu’s happiness is what matters more. but it exhausts me? i’ve been there, done that with toxic guys and it’s so exhausting. i have issues i still carry and struggle with to this day because i was manipulated and did manipulate other people, for the sake of a guy. and it’s really not worth it. as i talked to her, the friday before, we hung out and spent a whole day with each other... she has a lot of baggage. stuff she doesn’t wanna bring into a relationship. and we shared a lot of similarities with the people we’ve dealt with. i tell her, friends are here to help you carry that baggage. she doesn’t have to carry it on her own. relationships should be always mutually beneficial to both parties. why invest yourself in something you’ll never get shit out of? you end up empty and pining, and anything will satisfy you. it’s not a good cycle to enter. ive been there!! and fuck man, im still recovering. my value is in myself, not in others. and i love to help people because... simply i wish people would have helped me when i needed it. so i help others because they need it. but i wont help people at the expense of myself, at the expense of people i care about.

but also, i just... dunno if i feel right, being some sort of arbiter for their relationship. i don’t feel like i should have this power to judge, i keep telling myself i don’t know either of them that well so i really shouldn’t be doing the things that i’m doing now? like who am i to get in the way of their happiness, judge that someone isn’t good, and say yes or no to them entering a relationship? for all i know, it could turn out well. i doubt it, because H has never had a gf and i feel his selfishness extends beyond ignoring J, and more of “finally i can get a gf and not be lonely anymore” bc i want someone to value Nu for who she is.

maybe i’ll write more when i get to to it but this is way too long already lolol

#yu.txt

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gamerzcourt · 6 years

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Nier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Reveal What Games They Admire MostNier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Reveal What Games They Admire Mostvideo games

New Post has been published on http://www.gamerzcourt.com/nier-psychonauts-and-other-devs-reveal-what-games-they-admire-mostnier-psychonauts-and-other-devs-reveal-what-games-they-admire-mostvideo-games/

Nier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Reveal What Games They Admire MostNier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Reveal What Games They Admire Mostvideo games

Chad and Jared Moldenhauer, Directors of Cuphead

Jared Moldenhauer (left) and Chad Moldenhauer (right)

Chad Moldenhauer: I recently started and really enjoy The Witness. I was looking forward to that for a long time!

Yoshinori Terasawa, Danganronpa Series Producer

Yoshinori Terasawa: I love the Persona series. I adore the sense of personality that those games have. I really like how cool and stylish they are.

Rami Ismail, Producer of Nuclear Throne

Tom Kaczmarczyk, Producer of Superhot

Tim Schafer, Founder of Double Fine (Psychonauts, Brutal Legend)

Tim Schafer

Jason Roberts, Director of Gorogoa

Dean Ayala, Hearthstone Senior Game Designer + Dave Kozack, Hearthstone Lead Narrative Designer

Dean Ayala: Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. It’s a roguelike released back in 1997. A lot of the Hearthstone design team plays it. It’s super old-school.

Ian Dallas, Creative Director of What Remains Of Edith Finch

Ian Dallas

Chelsea Hash, Technical Artist of What Remains Of Edith Finch

Damon Baker, Nintendo Publisher and Developer Relations

Matt Thornson, Director of Celeste

Matt Thornson: I’ve been really enjoying my time with Into the Breach. It’s amazing!

Victor Kislyi, Wargaming CEO (World of Tanks)

Yoko Taro, Director of Nier: Automata

Yoko Taro (left) and Takahira Taura (right)

Takahisa Taura, Designer Of Nier: Automata + Metal Gear Rising

GameSpot News

#Admire #devs #Games #MostNier #Mostvideo #Nier #Psychonauts #Reveal #They

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gamerzcourt · 6 years

Text

Nier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Share What Games They Admire MostNier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Share What Games They Admire Mostvideo games

New Post has been published on http://www.gamerzcourt.com/nier-psychonauts-and-other-devs-share-what-games-they-admire-mostnier-psychonauts-and-other-devs-share-what-games-they-admire-mostvideo-games/

Nier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Share What Games They Admire MostNier, Psychonauts, And Other Devs Share What Games They Admire Mostvideo games

Chad and Jared Moldenhauer, Directors of Cuphead

Jared Moldenhauer (left) and Chad Moldenhauer (right)

Chad Moldenhauer: I recently started and really enjoy The Witness. I was looking forward to that for a long time!

Yoshinori Terasawa, Danganronpa Series Producer

Yoshinori Terasawa: I love the Persona series. I adore the sense of personality that those games have. I really like how cool and stylish they are.

Rami Ismail, Producer of Nuclear Throne

Tom Kaczmarczyk, Producer of Superhot

Tim Schafer, Founder of Double Fine (Psychonauts, Brutal Legend)

Tim Schafer

Jason Roberts, Director of Gorogoa

Dean Ayala, Hearthstone Senior Game Designer + Dave Kozack, Hearthstone Lead Narrative Designer

Dean Ayala: Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. It’s a roguelike released back in 1997. A lot of the Hearthstone design team plays it. It’s super old-school.

Ian Dallas, Creative Director of What Remains Of Edith Finch

Ian Dallas

Chelsea Hash, Technical Artist of What Remains Of Edith Finch

Damon Baker, Nintendo Publisher and Developer Relations

Matt Thornson, Director of Celeste

Matt Thornson: I’ve been really enjoying my time with Into the Breach. It’s amazing!

Victor Kislyi, Wargaming CEO (World of Tanks)

Yoko Taro, Director of Nier: Automata

Yoko Taro (left) and Takahira Taura (right)

Takahisa Taura, Designer Of Nier: Automata + Metal Gear Rising

GameSpot News

#Admire #devs #Games #MostNier #Mostvideo #Nier #Psychonauts #Share #They

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