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#jumpscared myself so many times drawing this
non-un-topo · 1 year
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Booker versus the owl eyes
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rillette · 2 years
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hal built like persius by Antonio canova
TRUEEE!!! im ngl i sometimes use dramatic sculptures as refs when i draw him, i might've actually used that one at some point 😭
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lifmera · 2 months
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OH MY GOD I TYPED UP A WHOLE THING AND ACCIDENTALLY LOST IT OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOD I HATE IT HERE- anyways *ahem* attempt no. 2 of me asking you for a Hazbin Hotel match because I have never done this kinda thing before and I'm curious :)
GENDER AND SEXUALITY: I'm non-binary, they/he/she pronouns. I generally don't have a preference between the three tbh but I do appreciate ppl mixing it up! I'm sex-repulsed asexual and gray-biromantic. Again no real preference lmfao
APPEARANCE: White, dark blonde hair, green eyes, just below 5'3, pretty basic looking all things considered. I've got a pretty angular face I think. I'm afab and don't shave cuz it's too much work. I wear pretty much exclusively graphic tees(band shirts, dumb jokes, fandom stuff... that kinda thing) or button ups with funky patterns paired w/ the comfiest pants I can find, but occasionally I'll pull myself together enough to make a dencent(?) outfit, typically reminiscent of shit scene kids in the early 2000s would wear. I also like dying my hair but usually don't bcuz I procrastinate on it for too long.
PERSONALITY: If I had to describe it in one word? Unhinged. I am unhinged. 7/10 people will agree I am a very frightening person to be around. I say out of pocket shit(ranging from vile sex jokes to just straight up threats of violence) pretty regularly. I also like to sneak up on ppl and make very loud noises just to see their reactions... *ahem* anyways, despite all that, most of my friends would also describe me as caring and loyal! I have low empathy, so the only way I ever understand any of my friends emotions is by using my own experiences to compare and contrast until I have a decent idea of what's going on in their head, but I AM very good at psychoanalyzing people and providing objective, unbiased thoughts & advice on their situations. I would also literally go to war for my friends. Like, if you hurt one of them say your goddamn PRAYERS because I am coming to your location with a knife and murderous intent. I'm kinda awkward & shy at first, but at my core I AM an extrovert. I just don't know how to talk to ppl bcuz I am ✨neurodivergent✨(autism & ADHD) and have a hard time approaching ppl bcuz I don't know if they'll like me or not. Typically I make friends by making very loud jokes and waiting for somebody to approach me because they like my sense of humor. Which speaking of, I am very funny! Most people I interact with regularly would agree I am a very funny person!!! I'm also really good at media analysis and making arguments. I don't do well in debates because I choke under the pressure(gotta work on that tbh), but I'm good at writing argumentative essays. Plus, I'm pretty good at just bold face lying to people so overall I can be pretty damn convincing. I like adrenaline rushes and try to actively seek out new experiences as long as I'm confident they won't cause me any significant damage(socially or physically) in the long run. Which is unfortunately not many because I am INCREDIBLY paranoid. Like to the point of accidentally staying up til 3am cuz I'm convinced someone's gonna break into my house and kill me... I also have depression, severe dissociation issues, and existential dread which is. Fun. That's fun. I also have a tendancy to go down random rabbit holes and obsess over inconsequential details in shows I like to the point of making whole ass conspiracy theories :)
LIKES: Cartoons, drawing, writing, acting, singing, reading fanfic, watching YouTube, long drives, listening to music, jumpscaring ppl, being funny, ziplining, problem solving, video essays, ghost hunting shows, supernatural stuff in general, psychology, media analysis, frogs, sharks, ferrets, cats, violence, chocolate, Drawfee(YT channel), glitter, and just. So many fandoms. Just so many.
DISLIKES: Slimey shit, being touched(most of the time, there are occasional exceptions), being touch starved DESPITE not liking being touched, ppl insulting my interests(only I get to do that), media illiteracy, projects I'm not invested in, ppl putting preasure on me, mosquitoes, existential dread, dissociating, being tired all the time, being wrong, taking risks, feeling vulnerable, and stories with a lot of potential that just. Don't do anything with said potential.
PREFERENCES?: Uh. Someone significantly taller than me(shouldn't be hard Hazbin characters are fucking huge) that'll listen to my insane rants and is able to match my energy.
Akdncksmfnsmdsn I rlly hope I did this right again it's my first time doing anything like this-
HEYYYYYY!!! FINALLY GOT TO YOU 😜
Honestly I was debating on like a few different characters BUT!
I’ve decided to pair you with… LUTE!
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Honestly I think she’d also be sex repulsed. She’s definitely more of a romantic lover! Though she doesn’t show it.
I think she talked to you at first because your style choices reminded her of Adam- and obviously, she misses him like crazy
If you did dye your hair often with her, she’d probably want to help you! I think she’d apply the color so it doesn’t get messy :)
She LOVES your personality. She thinks you are similar to her in many ways!
She also would need to experience it herself. She’s pretty stoic and doesn’t show her emotions. She’d probably think it’d make herself look weak.
I think you both would definitely fight back to back 24/7! You both would fight to the DEATH for each other.
She loves how caring you are for other people- it gives her a different sense of pace. Someone new!
I think Lute would see a TINY BIT through your lies. Lute is very observant with EVERYTHING.
She’d love if you made jokes. She need’s something less boring in her life than just standing there.
Adrenaline rushes? Totally join the exorcists- and you can be her right hand!!
She’d try to help you through paranoia, but you shouldnt worry much. She’s STRONG asf!
She’d LOVE TO HEAR CONSPIRACIES!! she would think they are SO COOL.
Although she isn’t much taller- I think she’d around 5’8 personally. She just looks small bc shes always next to Adam who’s HUGE!
She may not be able to match your energy, only because she’ll need to come out of her shell more- she’s always listening. She has ears EVERYWHERE.
~~~~
HOPE THIS WAS OKAY ❣️
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definesanity · 29 days
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Bite Me (Taken Literally)
'What the fuck?'
Uzi had no filter, and never had. She forgot to install that update. But thank Robo-God she did.
Because she was dumbfounded.
She was the weird kid, the one who nobody liked; heck, she's pretty sure half her class doesn't even know she exists, let alone knows her name.
Which was why she was befuddled at a letter in her locker, asking her to visit a certain location.
Uzi had common sense, despite what many say. And so she used it. And deicided to always have her flight reflexes ready, no matter what happens.
Arriving, there was... nothing. Of note. It was just a regular cabin, much smaller than the ones in camp she's been wanting to visit.
She then heard... something. A noise would describe it, given she couldn't pinpoint it. And it came from a bed. Because of course there's a bed. Why wouldn't there be a bed?
Uzi slowly walked up the bed, thinking on what she'll find; maybe a dead Drone? A human? Heck, anything will do...
Pulling it back... to nothing. Just a bed.
"Huh. Maybe I am a bit paranoid..." she muttered to herself, and turned around to face the most horrific thing she's ever seen.
"JUMPSCARE." the thing wearing the skin ('Holy shit it's a human girl fused with a Disassembley Drone?!') announced, as it tackled Uzi on to the bed, arms pinned via weird tendrils.
The girl gazed down at her, her tongue hanging out of her mouth as two golden Xs shown amid the dark void of where eyes should be. "SMUG LAUGH. SLOW REACTION TIME THERE, BUDDY."
"Screw you!" Uzi attempted to kick the girl, but her legs were pinned down. The girl crawled on to her.
And without warning, bit her neck like a vampire.
Code flew past her eyes at a speed she couldn't understand, and then, it was gone. Leaving only Uzi and the girl.
"Who the hell are you?!" the self-proclaimed angsty teen demanded, with the Disassembley Drone/Human thing looking back. Being honest, she felt braver than she should be.
"MM. I AM THE SOLVER O-O-OF THE ABSOLUTE FABRIC. THE VESSEL IS TESSA. SHE WAS A GOOD FRIEND, UNTIL. WHIMSICAL SIGH. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO SEE IT, BUT, WELL. HERE WE ARE."
"You killed a child?!" Uzi shook her head, looking at Tessa. "Okay, sure, yeah, but still, really?! ...Wait, you're the thing that was--hold on, what the heck did you inject me with?!"
Tessa only giggled, as the tendrils went from Uzi's arms and legs and allowed Uzi to move.
"YOU WILL SEE, SOON. EVIL, LAUGHTER."
And then, she was gone.
"What the fuck?"
---------------------
"Sheesh, who looked at you wrong today?" V commented later on, as Uzi sat on the ship's chair looking sullen.
"Bite me." Uzi shot back, doing her hardest to sketch the thing. She also did eleven different scans of her software and hardware, and even her circuitry, but couldn't find anything amiss.
"Rude." V leaned back in her chair, looking around. "Where's N?"
"You tell me." she had started to draw the thing's ribbon, next, being done with the head.
"Hunting, then. I feel sorry for the guy, doesn't know what he's missing."
"Missing what, having to listen to you?" Uzi had started to draw the Xs.
"Chatting with you."
The Worker Drone stopped. She blinked, looking at V. "Say what."
"Exactly! For a Worker Drone, anyways, you're actually interesting. Not every day that happens. Or ever."
Uzi replied by not replying, going back to drawing.
"What are you even doing?"
"Got attacked, drawing the attacker, if the court was still here that would be wonderful."
"Really? Court?"
"Hey, before you lot came we had a civilization; never saw it myself, but some of my Dad's friends talked about how one of them tried to win a divorce case. It was really boring, the way he told it, but I was a kid who had nothing better to so than look through the Internet, so I listened for the full three hours.
"What what did I get? A headache, someone's life story, and wishing we could have court again so I could disown my dad." Uzi finished her story with a loud sigh, opening her eyes.
V was looking at her with muted surprise. "...Got any other stories?"
"Wha--You're interested?"
"Hey, anything is better than sitting on my ass doing nothing. Speaking of, did you know that--?"
"--There is a setting that makes our bodies more human? Yes, I do, and I shudder to imagine what was going through their minds while making us."
She finally finished putting the last details on the sketch. "Okay, finally done. If you see this girl, tell I don't exist."
She presented the drawing to V, who blinked at it, and an emotion flew past her face. Then, it was gone, and V nodded. "Eh, fine. Anyways, stories, please."
"Ugh, fine. What do you want."
"Ever killed someone?"
"No, but I have committed several acts of violence against my classmates."
"Kinda hot." V said it with such a straight face Uzi had to pause. Then, what she said hit her.
"...I'm gonna... get some fresh air." Uzi started to get up and move towards the hatch, but a hand grabbed her arm.
"What, sick of lil' ol' me?"
Uzi just rolled her eyes (as best as she could, anyways) and left.
None saw the code flashing by V's visor, or how V's eyes softened looking at Uzi.
-------------------------------------
Lunch time arrived, and Uzi sat by herself. Not solely because she was a loner (that was one half of the reason), but because she preferred it.
Unfortunately, a hand touched her shoulder, and Uzi felt her solitude ending.
"Heya, um..." of all the people, Uzi had Lizzy had the bottom of her list. "...Uzi, right?"
"...Yes...?" tread carefully, who knows what she wants...
"Oh, I was right then, good; hey, listen, could I borrow you for a sec? Cool, thanks!"
"Woah--hey, what the hell?!" Uzi was then dragged away, her not giving an answer but Lizzy answered for her.
Through the corridors the two walked and walked (or, in Uzi's case, dragged and dragged), when the two ended up in Lizzy's dorm (she thinks it is. She could have been dragged into an empty one). Her arm was let go of.
"So. Uzi. Gotta be honest, I like your style."
"...Sty...? What, my clothes?"
"Yes, your clothes!" Lizzy rolled her eyes, walking ahead of Uzi. "Love the goth look, by the way. Gives you an approachable look, and makes people wonder if you're actually a softie underneath that cold exterior."
"...Where is this going." Uzi was not annoyed, just short of patience. "Is this about prom? It's about prom, isn't it?"
"Duh! I could go the classic, popular girl look but, let's be honest, it gets stale. Soooooooo me and Doll were trying to find new ideas and, well, here you are!"
"...Okaaaaay... where is Doll, anyways?"
["Hey."]
Uzi near enough punched Doll in the face, only for the Russian Drone to catch it.
That time, Uzi did see the code flying past her visor, and was able to catch some of it:
'OVERRIDE_ACTIVE'
'CONTACT=TRUE: BYPASS DEFENSES'
"...Byyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee."
Uzi wisely sprinted away, taking her as fast as her little legs can carry her, which was into her room.
--------
She breathed a sigh of relief, and fell on to the lower end of her bed.
Then jumped further up, as the thing licked her face.
"You again?!"
"SAD LOOK. DID YOU, NOT MISS ME, UZI?" Tessa attempted to look sad, but failed due to the lack of motor functions. In better light, Uzi can see just how grafted the girl was on to the Worker Drone, and she held back on vomiting for the time being.
"Well, I can get answers! Just... first things first, what the hell is your relationship with my mom?!"
"AH, NORI. SHE WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HOSTS. SHE IS DEAD NOW, UNFORTUNATELY. BUT, REALLY, WHAT CAN YOU DO?" The AbsoluteSolver shrugged, looking less than sorry.
"...You motherfucker...!" Uzi felt angry, and rightfully so, but she held back due to the thing having the advantage, given its ability to make holograms.
"OOPSIE-DAISY."
This could not get worse.
"Heya, Uzi!"
IT CAN GET WORSE IT CAN GET WORSE IT CAN GET SO MUCH WORSE--
"Sorry about that, I was just fixing up a door! Heh, you know what they sa--" Khan cut himself off, looking at the scene in front of him: Uzi on her bed, with a fleshy-looking thing on top of her. "...U-Uzi--?"
"IT'S A PUPPY!" Uzi screamed out.
"...W-What?"
"...Y-Yeah! Turns out um, humans kinda... made up what they looked like, yeah! Sure they're... kinda weird looking, but they're adorable, in their own... creepy. Fleshy. Way. Er. Yeah!"
"...I see!" Khan believed her. Somehow. "Well, take care of them, Uzi!"
She waited until the door was closed, and let out a huge sigh of relief.
She glared at the Solver. "You're going to tell me everything I want to know. Got it?"
"AFFIRMATIVE SMILE."
"ALSO, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT, ME BEING CUTE?"
"Screw off. Now, answer me. What the fuck did you inject me with?!"
"DO YOU LIKE IT? I MADE IT MYSELF."
"Can't answer that if you don't tell me what it even does!"
"AN ANTITHESIS TO YOUR SOLITUDE. AN ANSWER TO YOUR LONELINESS."
"I'm not lonely, excuse you! I have N!"
"EYE ROLL. SURE. IT OVERRIDES DRONES TO FEEL CARING TO YOU. I." Tessa looked sheepish, as weird as it sounds. "WENT EXCESSIVE BY ACCIDENT. CONSIDER IT AN APOLOGY FOR KILLING NORI."
"Pretty shit apology, not gonna lie." came the dry reply. Uzi got off the bed and stood up, looking at the corpse. "But why me?"
"..." silence only came from the thing.
"...I'm gonna leave. Come on, I'll take you for a walk or whatever it is they do."
"GET ZIP BOMBED."
As soon as Tessa said that, Uzi had a zip file open on how to care for a puppy.
...Ugh, she's in for it now, isn't she...?
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drdemonprince · 1 year
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hi devon! i recently binged all your medium articles, your writing hits so close to home and has opened so many doors of self-reflection for me, thank you. one of your latest ones was about porn and autism, i have some differing opinions on porn itself, but i enjoyed your perspective on it.
i would love to hear your thoughts on autism and hypersexuality in a broader sense. i’m someone that’s recently realised how much my premature exposure to sexuality and porn in childhood made me hypersexual in a way that really stunted my personal growth and had me traumatising myself with my own compulsive sexual behavior. as an undiagnosed autistic adhd kid i was just grasping after any form of stimulating and self-soothing behavior, but also looking after ways to make myself more interesting and appealing to peers and most importantly boys (because interest from men = value as a human i learned early on). i think i could’ve figured out gender and sexuality stuff a little earlier and avoided my comphet phase had it not been for how obsessed i was with sexualising and objectifying myself in my tweens and early teens tbh. i hope to see more people talking about autism and sexuality. my heart breaks thinking about how so many demonise kids with problematic sexualised behavior when they’re literal children trying to figure out this having a body thing and there’s usually grown-ups around them standing idly by doing nothing effective to help.
Hi there! I love hearing from people who don't share my perspective completely but can still get a lot out of my work.
I alluded to this yesterday, but I don't believe hypersexuality or hyposexuality are a thing. Where do we draw the line where it becomes pathological, and why? Clearly humans have varied in how much they desire and think about sex since the beginning of time, and while we still have not figured out a respectful, appropriate way to cope with the fact of it, children also sometimes have an interest in sex and masturbation and a curiosity about it that is completely value neutral. It's just a thing that happens because children are living human beings.
Unfortunately we inhabit a paradigm where this is supposed to be either ignored or punished and discouraged, and anyone who does bring it up is viewed as having some ulterior motive beyond the liberation of children from abuse. And so if a child is curious about sex or driven to explore it in some way, they only means they have of pursuing that interest is by consuming adult material, which a lot of people look back on having done with a variety of different feelings. It sounds like you saw a lot of porn from a young age that really gave you unhelpful expectations for yourself and others and that it really hurt you, and I'm really sorry to hear that.
I consumed a lot of adult content as a child and a teen, not just porn but also real life gore and jump scare videos and elaborate, violent sexual stories, and of all those experiences, the only one that seemed to scar me was the jump scare videos. Seriously, newgrounds fucked me up, and not because I was playing games like Orgasm Angel. It was shit like kikia that fucked me up. The potential that my most beloved friend, the computer, could start screaming at me and showing me dead babies at any moment meant I was on edge and obsessively read all the comments on every video I ever viewed for like... seven or eight years. Even if a friend or classmate wanted to show me a youtube video, I forced them to read through all the comments and convince me it wasn't a jumpscare video first. For like years.
It might be that the only reason I was able to watch and read and play a lot of porn online as a kid without any real adverse effects was because I had a really specific fetish, and so most of the content I was able to view was of an obviously fictional and fantastical variety or was made directly by the people who starred in it. As I wrote in my essay, I'm glad that I started watching brainwashing gifs on weird websites and masturbating to them as a kid. It helped me feel less alone in my fetish and it didn't scar me, and provided a sexual outlet that was actually pretty safe and private and didn't put me in contact with any adults. It was a really nice pressure valve, a way to stim and zone out and regulate my breathing and get off, and finding content like that helped me to realize there was a whole big wide world out there where freaks like me could be okay.
THAT said, I can understand your experience! Porn didn't fuck me up as a kid, but I did learn some really pernicious sexual norms as a teen, because I had abstinence only education at school and I obsessively read Dan Savage's advice column Savage Love as a replacement for having any kind of credible sex ed. I used to worship Dan Savage. I met him for pancakes once, you can read about my whole complex relationship to him and his work in a very old piece I wrote pre transition here:
Dan Savage's work was really influential on me and on a lot of people of my generation. From his stuff, I learned that I should be good, giving, and game for just about anything a partner wanted -- which meant I pressured myself to do things I didn't always want to do. He normalized a kind of casual, unarticulated nonmonogamy among people of my age group including everyone I dated -- and so being open without really discussing what that meant was the norm for me from age 19 until about age 23.
Dan Savage wrote that blowjobs come standard and that any model who is not equipped with them should be returned to the lot -- thats really how he described women who didn't do oral. As broken cars. Dan Savage said that asexuals should only date other asexuals and probably werent real anyway. He said vaginas looked like canned hams dropped from great heights. He said a gay trans guy who couldnt take T for health reasons was 'delusional' for wanting to date fellow gay men. Reading Dan Savage fucked me up, and it's not even his fault -- he was just an outspoken faggot with an advice column that was always clear in reflecting his biases and agendas, and I was just a horny confused kid with no sex education and no where else to learn about sex other than porn and the back of the local alternative mag.
So, this is all a very long and meandering way of saying that I'm sorry you also got attached very young to untrustworthy sources of sexual information and that they also scarred you and left you pressured to be something you were not. I was there. I think many of my generation were and some still are. and not just the Autistics. I know so many people who got swept up in the messages that conventional porn and writers like dan savage had to peddle -- straight people, queer people, poly people, disabled people, everyone. The sad part is that Dan Savage for all his faults was still a lot more progressive than where many of my peers turned, which was sites like efukt or the predecessors to the chan sites and shit. It was brutal out there.
It's also the case that many of us Autistic people are prone to intense fixation and rumination and obsession, by neurotypical standards, sometimes to our detriment, sometimes in a completely neutral way that would cause us zero harm if it weren't for all the societal stigma and judgement. and that can mean that, especially when we are lonely and closeted teens, that we retreat into a lot of damaging digital messages and imagery, and I think a lot of bad, sexist straight porn unfortunately played that role in a lot of people's lives. My version of that was instead compulsively reading pro ana livejournals (as a teen) and then later terf detransition blogs (in my 20s). So again I don't think it's necessarily a phemoneon of porn per se, but obviously there is a lot of really toxic shit out there that has warped a lot of people's viewpoints around sex and relationships, I can't deny that.
I wish I knew what the solution was to help prevent future generations of kids from going through the kinds of damage you and I went through, but I think we are so far from being prepared as a culture to have this conversation that most attempts to broach it end up making things worse for kids in all kinds of scary new ways -- parents heavily monitoring and controlling their kids browsing habits for example. That sure as hell isn't going to help a closeted queer kid who is exploring themselves in most cases. Instead of building a world that is more liberatory and supportive to kids, we just keep trying to control them more and more, and impose more and more strict standards on them, which always hurts the weirdest and queerest among us the worse. It fucking sucks. Shit. i really am going to have to write about about child liberation one day wont i
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todd-machine · 20 days
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@milekael tagged me so I thought I would hop onto this!!! TYSM FOR THE TAG MILES UAHAHAHA
are you named after anyone?
Not really! I mostly just picked some random things I vibe with tbh.
when was the last time you cried?
I can't actually remember :'D it couldn't have been awfully long ago tho, for some reason
do you have kids?
nope! I don't really plan on it.
do you use sarcasm a lot?
I think so, once in a while. If I do I normally tend to clarify tho, it does tend to pass over my own head a at times so if I notice it happening to others I'm usually quick to explain myself.
what sports do you play?
I've not been so active in recent years, but I used to love taking dance and swimming classes when I was younger tho! I've also dabbled in martial arts and ball games (football and basketball) over the years and I still really like a good walk or run.
what’s the first thing you notice about people?
Usually? Honestly the way people dress or their mannerisms like hand gestures and stuff, since I sometimes gravitate there to understand how people are speaking.
what’s your eye color?
Brown n green on both :3
scary movies or happy endings?
I'm usually not fond of jumpscare/shock horror and I'm more into the suspenseful or slow type really. Happy endings are sweet and very neat ways to end a plot but depending on the case they can sometimes leave me wanting more, idk.
any special talents?
Can measure out a perfect portion of rice by eye for some reason
where were you born?
That one I'd rather not say here. I have lived the majority of my time in England though 💀
what are your hobbies?
Aside from drawing I like... drawing XD but in all seriousness, I really like doing observational drawings from time to time, it helps clear the mind after spending so long animating for uni! I also love working on some short stories slowly, I collect stamps on the side and I've been really getting into cooking lately. I'd love to pick up traditional art to a more serious level once I have the time, too!
do you have any pets?
I don't :'D I'd love to once I can afford to and have the space to keep them though. Thinking mainly of cats honestly.
favorite subject in school?
Probably history! Art was fun too just wasn't so fond of the programme structure there. At least we had some great field trips for that though.
dream job?
Not really sure! I'm close to graduating from my animation undergrad though, hopefully, and I'm hoping to take that into short form stuff or TV within the industry eventually, probably as an animator. I'd love to be able to improve my skillset over time, though, especially in terms of technical and people skills, and maybe do some animation lead or directing at some point. At some stage later down the line I'd love to spend more time on my bigger personal project's production as well.
Augh tags- uuuhrbmrhrm idk @helio5 if u wanna do it go ahead, no pressure tho ofc!!! Anyone else who wants to pick this up as well feel free (sorry for not directly tagging many people, I simply get nervous easily XD)
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rotshop · 2 years
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hiii welcome to me writing for me myself and i <3 werewolf reader n hank bc i said so <3333 takes place pre-madness for the most part with only a little bit at the end otherwise
[ tw violence , body horror (esp. bone related) , murder talk , references to mp1 (+ other first few episodes) at the end ]
-you two had been partners LONG before the red sky, seemingly always have been by one anothers side. at first, he didn't really see you as much more than 'weird kid who bothers me.' you were just someone in his classes that didn't really talk to anyone or go out of your comfort zone in general- much like himself. they didn't know why you'd initially approached them, only that you'd leaned over their shoulder to look at what they'd been drawing.
"Cat person, huh?" You'd chimed. It was less a question and more of a verbal observation. Just something you'd noticed and decided to speak aloud.
They'd given you a short glance, looking for any sort of mocking or planned malice in your expression. You returned a patient, blank one of your own. They'd shrugged. You smiled at their wordless response, "You're good at drawing them. What's your name?"
There'd been a short pause as he'd considered his options here. He really wasn't planning to get to know anybody, most people were too put off by his lack of speech and he didn't like always having to come up with something to say. You'd never been especially loud, though, only really speaking when called on or otherwise had to. Come to think of it, this was really the first time he could remember seeing you go out of your way to talk to anyone. Why you chose them of all people was beyond them, but they'd grow to appreciate it.
Sure, he could just lie and hope you'd go away. Sure, that would be a guaranteed silence. However, they weren't too sure they entirely wanted you gone. So, rather than go with an easy route out, they'd answered.
"Hank."
-It was a quick friendship that he hadn't been expecting. You weren't constantly together at first, moreso just talking every now and then. It'd started as a comfort when it came to group projects, not having to worry about talking to anyone new or really talk much at all. Then you'd stay with him at lunch, eventually showing him some corner you'd always go hide off at in the past to get away from all the noise.
-They'd found familiarity in most of your mannerisms, making way for some sort of personal connection. You didn't like being looked at, you didn't like loud noises, and you didn't like being around many people. He didn't know when he'd started making some kind of an effort to help you out, only that he'd made a habit of closing doors or setting things down softer. In the same breadth, you would talk or clarify for him when needed, you'd make a point of giving him personal space unless he'd said you could do otherwise, and you did your best to try and make sure your voice was quiet.
-They'd found themself much more comfortable with you than they thought they'd be as the years went on. You'd invite them over to watch horror movies and eat whatever sounded the best, usually ending in one or both of you falling asleep on the couch. (It was rarely ever an issue for them. They'd long since gotten used to you leaning on them and it was all too easy to pick you up. That was something you were particularly sour about, pouting when you could barely get them to budge when you tried to push them. You didn't seem as upset when it'd gotten a chuckle out of him.)
-There'd been no real pattern to the movies you watched, other than that a grand majority were horror related. You'd said you just liked them for how cheesy they could be, offering to change the movie only to get a relatively quick denyal. He'd later admitted he liked the bad jumpscares and the poor practical effects.
You'd been watching some bad film again that night, something about werewolves and a camp. You'd had your head against his shoulder while your eyes focused on the screen. They weren't sure why they'd gotten the urge to look over at you, excusing it as just wanting to see your reaction to whatever happened on screen. They were equally unsure why they'd instinctively tensed up as if to fight a flinch when you looked back at him.
"Something up?" You'd hummed, grinning a bit. They'd held their tongue for a good moment, unintentionally focusing on your teeth for a breath. They'd noticed early on in your friendship that you didn't exactly look like any one else he'd seen in that regard. Obviously, it wasn't something he was going to say anything about, not wanting to risk offense. They were far sharper than most's, your canines were far longer than his, curved outward in a way unique to you.
He'd finally shaken his head, satisfying your question enough that you'd just shrugged and looked back to the screen. He was glad you didn't pry any further than that, he was a little too focused on the teeth of the main monster in the movie. They did look awfully familiar, didn't they?
-Despite the casualness of it all, they were planned out on your part. Less in that you had any real itinerary those nights (you didn't at all, only a few vague ideas of what you could do) and more in that you were specific in when they'd happen. They'd never really noticed at first, helped by your variety of excuses that ranged from being busy with some sort of repetitive task to being sick, as well as the general distance between those restrictions. There was really only a handful of days you had some sort of limit on. He'd only really gotten a picture of it when you'd invited him into your room, you busying yourself with 'getting sorted' (shoving a few discarded shirts under your bed or tossing a water bottle in a random drawer) while he'd studied the calender you had hanging up.
There really wasn't much to note- a few project deadlines, notes here and there, and a few days you had crossed out. Those caught his eye, bearing a similar pattern when he'd glanced at the past month. One or two days were fully crossed out, then a few others had a dash through them.
"Full moon days," You'd spoken up. He'd looked back at you, only really registering you were talking to him when he'd found your gaze on him. You didn't clarify any further, not making any sort of move from where you stood or taking a breath to talk longer. That was all you had to say on the matter. He'd hummed in acknowledgement, straightening back up as he turned away from the calender. You had a curious look, something contemplative as you stared a bit longer. He'd made the move to snap you from your daze this time, walking forward to sit down on your bed.
"You really shouldn't keep so many drinks in here."
He'd leaned back against the wall as any tension disappeared from the moment, watching as you clicked your tongue before making your case. He didn't ask any further about it, even when you cancelled on those days again. You didn't give an excuse, he didn't ask for one.
-Eventually, you both graduated, deciding to move in with one another. You weren't exactly ready to be alone just yet and he could use the company. Nights spent watching slashers continued on, only really broken up by the steadily growing amount of times you'd fall asleep in one another's rooms. It was typically yours he'd fall asleep in after you passed out on top of him in the living room. They'd carry you to your room, you'd tug on their shirt or grab their hand after waking up from being set down, and they'd relent to lay down next to you. It wasn't something they minded, you ran warm and it felt more comfortable in your room anyway (He discarded the fact you had the same kind of mattress).
-it was the first time he'd ever really directly asked about the full moon thing, curious on if you'd go somewhere else for those days or if he should do something for you. You'd given it some thought, going quiet for a good few moments before eventually shrugging and saying you'd be ok, there were just two rules you had on those nights. Keep the curtains shut and give breathing space. They were plain enough, even if he didn't entirely understand it, he didn't want to dig any deeper. You'd never pried into his personal business and they were going to return that kindness. (They'd never said it aloud, but they were afraid to. They didn't want to push you too far and ruin your relationship. They were scared to lose you, and they didn't particularly enjoy the unfamiliar feeling.)
-you typically just stayed in your room those days, not leaving for very long. it could be worrying, but he trusted that you could handle yourself. (You'd always laugh a bit at his visible concern over the next day or so, him hanging around you awkwardly in some sort of silent 'hey im here if you need me.' You appreciated it, even if it could be a funny sight. You'd usually just ask for company.)
-It was less than a total fix for you, but you didn't want to scare him off at this point. Sure, he was an intimidating bastard, but at least he was just an ordinary grunt like everyone else. You didn't let yourself dwell on it too much, not wanting to rile yourself up over something that might never happen (if you were lucky, that is). Besides, it was easy to forget about when you were too busy fighting back sleep as you layed with him. Really, it was unfair just how quickly you'd pass out with the purring and weight of his arms around you combined.
-Of course, though, nobody's that lucky in Nevada. It was a stupid idea in retrospect, but you'd convinced yourself if you let yourself shift just once you could get through the month without feeling like your bones were about ready to rip through your skin. You were impressed by your own ability to stay quiet throughout the whole process, managing to get by with a few strained noises and hisses (sure, you'd done it a million times before, but nothing makes the sensation of bones shifting and skin shredding any easier). You'd been too busy focusing on your voice level to really consider just how loud cracking and popping of joints really would be when echoing in a room.
They'd always told themselves they would stay out of your room during these periods no matter what. They were obviously of great importance to you and you'd made the ground rules clear. However, they also had to make sure you were safe. Past times, you'd always turned out alright, even if you'd been cooped up in your room for a day or two. Those times though, it didn't sound like this. It was faint, just faint enough that he'd only really noticed it when he'd passed by your room. He'd stood there for a moment or two, still as a statue as he considered his options here. There was no clear way out, both having their own risks attributed to them. Eventually, with one last little snap, they threw caution to the wind and opened the door.
It took them a moment to adjust to the darkness in the room, the only real light source being the moonlight through the window. He could make out the outline of your bed and nightstand in it, along with something shuffling on the floor. A grand majority of his mind told him to move towards it, stopped only by the part that knew something wasn't right.
You were too exhausted to move, taking several long moments to notice he'd even entered the room, blood draining from your face when you noticed his gaze on you. Despite your body crying for the opposite, for just a moment longer of rest, you'd pushed yourself up with as much strength as you could muster. It was only enough to back up against the wall, lowering your head as you stared right back at him.
You didn't know what to do, where to even begin. You didn't know if you could find your voice- it was hard enough to speak when you were in this form, but when you were panicking this much? It might've been impossible to make any coherent sound. Maybe you could try and run past him, leave and come back tomorrow and say that a wolf got in your room and you got out through the window- but, he would've noticed the window was shut and that this 'wolf' was awfully big. You didn't know why he hadn't moved, why he hadn't run. You weren't sure if you were more terrified at the prospect of him running from or towards you.
God, he could kill you. Just the thought alone was enough to drum up a cold sweat, if not for your fur it would've been dripping off of you at this point. He could just run at you and slam your head against a sharp corner and you would be done for just like that, if not from the injury then from your reluctance to fight back. You just had to hope and pray this was nothing more than a nightmare that you'd wake up from and go to him for comfort for. You just had to hope you'd wake up on the couch while a movie played and rough hands ghosted your spine. You just had to hope that you would have someone in your life other than your own flesh and blood that bore the same scars that would stay.
You'd flinched as he took a step towards you, back brushing the wall and only serving to make you feel even more cold. He'd hitched in his movements at this, continuing forth while you settled for pressing as much of yourself against the wall, utterly trapped in place. He'd gotten down to his knees, lowering himself to something relative to your level. When his hands finally stretched towards you, you'd jolted from your spot, trying to make some sort of effort to shove past him. It was short lived, him catching your midsection to pull you against him.
It was over. You were stuck and he knew it and he was going to kill you. But his hands didn't move. He didn't make any move to strangle you as you thrashed and kicked at the floor. He didn't make any move to crack your skull open as you'd jerked to try and drag yourself past him. He didn't make any move to crush your ribcage as you choked something akin to a sob out. He just sat there with his arms around you like he always did and pulled you as close as he possibly could. If the moment were any better you could've laughed at how you finally were taller than him.
It was only when you finally stopped struggling that he moved, reaching a hand up to tilt your head towards his. There was a long moment, your eyes finally meeting as he studied yours. You didn't know what to think at that moment, too tired to and too torn up to want to even try to decipher how you felt. He'd stared a moment longer before he finally broke the silence that'd been weighing your chest down.
"Are you hungry?"
You wish you could've laughed in his face. Instead, you'd just nodded.
-There's a long conversation the next morning, one that starts shortly after you wake up in his room again (something he'd insisted on in the hopes you wouldn't make a run for it before there was some sort of closure here). Much to your surprise and relief, he's not too concerned about it. It's something he's willing to brush off for the most part- you've always been weird to him, this is no different (your pout at the sentiment almost makes him smile, you know they mean it affectionately).
-There's not too much change to your routine, only that he's instead the one that lays against you during full moons. Admittedly, it's something they're curious about and ask you about for a good while. They just like knowing little tid-bits that you're comfortable offering up. They're just happy knowing that you're able to confide in him about this now and don't feel the need to hide it anymore (even if he's gotten more than a good few affectionate bites on the arms, he grows fond towards them).
-If anything, it only adds another sort of odd unique layer of connection between the two of you. He smooths your fur while you dig your claws into the sheets and you help wash the blood off him when he gets home. Lucky you, without a sun you don't need to worry about any sort of required shifts now do you?
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Coming out as a fictionkin and new start
Hi Iam have not been active on here for ages and so I decided to make this post as way share awareness and hopefully find other people who are as one and as new start for me on here. What say may sound crazy to some people and please don’t bully for who Iam and if you do I will block you.
Here a bit at me.
I go by the name Fyra but I also go by my current shift name please(I explained more later the post and I put my current shift’s name as my username )
I am transgender girl who has ADHD and autism.
My pronouns are she/her/them/they
I am fictionkin.
I have been part of the otherkin and fictionkin community for about just over 3 years.
I have strong believe in the supernatural and I believe I reincarnated several times in many different realities.
I am also psychic I can sense supernatural beings,entires and Interdimensional beings.
I also can sense someone personality before they even talk me and I can see peoples aura.
I am very creative person I love drawing, love cosplaying
I am love anime and manga and I very like video games.
When I was little I always felt different and I never truly felt human.
When I diagnosed with Autism I thought that possibly part of the reason I few that.
But I then hear about otherkins about for a interview with otherkins video I few years got me thinking.
That I could be otherkin but I don’t think more about after that.
About around the middle of 2020 I decided to start looking into otherkins and I then discovered fictionkins. Then I realised I was fictionkin as I started awakening my first kin Alissa and it when on for their.
I then decided join a few different otherkin and fictionkin Animos originally out curiosity and to see if I could find anyone who could help me discover if who I was and then over time I awaken more kins.
As I learned more and discovered that I am fictionkin.
I as started awakening my kins and more find about myself.
I started feeling more complicated and happy.
I hope to meet more people who have similar beliefs and possible even kin for the same canon as me.
I hope make some freinds and discover more myself.
I made this post as way of make awareness of otherkin and fictionkins and please feel to ask any questions even in comments or in pms.
I am planning making more posts about my experiences and memories I have of pastlifes.
Anyway I am going on.
Here my My kin list
Sarvente from FNF mod Sarvente’s mid-fight masses
The Girlfriend from Friday night Funkin(possibly the version from Hipno’s lullaby mob)
Alissa (my true self)
Bela Dmittrescu from Resident evil village
Alternate version Lady Dmittrescu from Resident evil village
Donna Beneviento and Angie from Resident evil village
The creepypasa Clockwork
Queen Juno from Grand summoners epic event Story called Knights of Blood: zero.
Ryuko Matoi and Nui Harime from kill la kill
Raphtalia and Filo from rise of the shield hero
dragon kin link to miss kobayashi's dragon maid
Kumoko from I am an spider so what?
Albedo, Shalltear Bloodfallen and Entoma Vasilissa Zeta () from overlord
The Hooked Doll from spooky’s jumpscare Mansion DLC Spookys Dollhouse
18 Reaper nurse from Dark deception chapter 4 Torment therapy
Poppy,Mommy long Legs(aka Experiment 1222/Marie Payne and not canon version similar to version of her show in the gametoons animations),Catbee from Poppy’s playtime
2B,A2 and Simone from NeiR: Automata
Alia the Explorer that live an in reality similar to the world of minecraft and who infected by sculk
Demon that is member of the Superd tribe from mushoku tensei jobless reincarnation
Someone possibly kitsune or angel from supernatural (or just a kitsune in General)
The darkness/Amara from supernatural (not 100% confirmed her as a kin yet but I more confident I do)
Yuira the dullahan
Roxanne Wolf(my soul possessed her Endoskeleton and I was child called Emelia)from Five nights at Freddy’s security beach
Glamrock Mangle from fnaf sb
All the witches of sin(Satella the witch of Envy, Daphne the witch of Gluttony, Minerva the witch of wrath, Echidna the witch of greed, Typhon the witch of pride, Sekment the witch of sloth and Camilla the witch of Lust) and Rem from Re:zero
Fio from NieR:Reincarnation(not 100% sure I kin or possibly Lavania but I feel the connection to him taken her form)
Zero, One, Two, Three, Four and Five from Drakengraud 3(Not fully confirmed One,Two,Three,Four and Five as kins yet but I confident I kin them all not 100% yet)
Kainè from NieR
Paimon , Amber , Sandrone as known as The Puppet and Greater Lord Rukkhadevata(just confirmed her for an unexpected way) and Nilou(basically me to almost to a T) from Genshin Impact
Dust from Re ZombieGirl S sisters(very confusing shifts)
Clara Maria and Esther Winchester(not 100% confirmed as kin yet) from Cuphead(just confirm her as kin)
Sally from Nightmare before Christmas
Emily from Tim Burton The Corpse Bride
Twisted Alice/Alice Angel/Suise Campbell from Bendy and the ink machine/Bendy and the ink machine dark revival. Audrey Drew from Bendy and the Dark Revival (newest conformed kin and I have not 100% confirmed her yet.)
Nikusa from FNF:entity mod and meet Nikusa mod
The Mourning Flowers Witch Natasha from Memento Moir
Monika and Natsuki from Doki Doki Literature Club I have not yet fully confirmed them as kins still kinsinding them as kins)
I will make a post for each of my kins and the experiences and memories I had related to them.
Well see you all in my next post bye for now.
(sorry if this post seems all over the place I edited this post for my Fictionkin Animo bio and I did rush it a bit.)
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dotster001 · 2 years
Note
Hii! I’d like to take part in your 500 event! Could I please request a romantic matchup with a character from Obey me? <3
I’m Italian, my pronouns are she/her and I’m asexual biromantic. I’m an ESFJ and a Gemini. I have green eyes and short purple hair. I dress with fairy core/ fairy grunge clothes. I wear lots of rings and love to exchange them with others.
I’m the mom friend of the group, always there for everyone and my friends say that I’m really good at comforting people. I’m also calm and responsible, I usually am the one that takes care of other people. I’m very optimistic, I always try to see the good in everything and I often put other’s needs before my own, I would do everything for the people I care about and sometimes I’ve been told that I’m too kind for my own good. I have a sarcastic humor and I love making others laugh, people say that I should be more serious and that I shouldn’t joke around so much. I don’t like when people tell me what to do and I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or for someone else.
All my friends tell me I’m very smart, I get very good grades and I do well in school. I also try to help my friends with study and school as much as possible. I’m also very ambitious, I always try to achieve my goals.
My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation.
I absolutely love listening to music, it helps me relax and I really like reading. I also love watching horror movies even though it’s impossible to scare me. I also play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends anytime I can. also, I absolutely love musicals and I’m definitely a theatre kid.
I really hope I did this right, have a great day :)
(ACES UNITE! Okay, okay, look, I know all humans are multifaceted, but it was really hard to pick someone for you, cause you have so many diverse aspects to your personality. Honorable mentions to Levi, Asmo, Barbatos, and Mammon, but in the end....)
I match you with Simeon.
He is also the mom friend of the group, so you both become everyone's moms. Literally, Luke starts calling you mom at some point. Both you and Simeon will melt, I can guarantee it.
He doesn't want you to change, at least not if you don't want to. Obviously, if you personally decide to make a change of your own free will, he will support you full force. But he is never going to be an instigator. He likes you the way you are.
He starts buying rings so that he has some to exchange with you should the moment arise. The first time you give him one, he melts. He's died, and been sent back to heaven. He adored it.
Your love language being physical touch and words of affirmation... He's perfect. Based on his surprise guest lines, I hc that he's a cuddler, and that he tells you every day how much he loves you. He's a warm cuddler, the kind where you just feel so soft and safe. He also is a hand holder. You can't prove me wrong. He holds hands with you everywhere you go, and he doesn't even realize it.
He's a writer, so he is ready to play D and D at a moments notice, both as DM and as a character. He is also secretly writing a musical where you two get to fall in love on stage while the brothers and Solomon are background characters and the chorus.
You're watching a horror movie and laying your head in Simeon's lap, as he runs his hand through your purple hair. He's humming a little tune. The tune freezes and he stiffens as another jumpscare hits the screen.
"Ah, Simmy, did that one get you?" You grin, and he smiles down at you.
"Yes, but I'm safe with you here," he smiled softly. He used his free hand, and threaded your fingers together, drawing your joined hands to his lips to press a soft kiss to the back of it.
He then pulls your hand and holds it to his cheek, where he nuzzles against it with a satisfied hum.
"That's better," he says just as another jumpscare happens. He stiffens, and you smile softly.
"Simmy, we can turn on something else, it's okay," you say, but he shakes his head.
"It's fine, really, your love is protecting me," he leans down for a kiss, and you meet him halfway. Another jumpscare happens, and this time it doesn't get him.
"See? All better," he grins, and shimmies down a little so that you are both laying down and cuddling, his arms around you, not tight, but reassuring.
The rest of the movie, if he was spooked, you could only tell if his arms tightened around you, or if he whispered a soft "I love you" to you. Even though the movie hadn't frightened you, you realized the safety went both ways, and that in his arms, you were certain nothing could ever hurt you.
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chemicalbrew · 1 year
Text
2021 game list
aka 'I finally got tired of having to scroll really far to edit the 2022 list because I wanted originally to fuse two years in one, like a fool'
I'm pretty sure the bulk of this was made in... spring\summer 2021, but there were a bunch of games I didn't write anything for until this year, as will be evident later. This is long as hell, as you would expect.
'Veronica, why didn't you have a 2021 list ready in time???'
A question that nobody asked, but one that really needs answering, because in 2021, I gamed too much, in addition to other things. I'll make additions to the behemoth of a document that never saw the light of day in time in italics.
A lot of things have happened this year. I learned how to swim, for one! I graduated high school, too, and got into my dream university (though, honestly, it's just about as messy as any other uni in the end). I got a reasonably powerful and fully functional PC all to myself (it doesn’t even compare to the old husk I had to use in my school days!) (this year, I finally got a good phone as well, which influenced the current year's list a fuckton). And I could finally fulfill the one dream I held on to for the past two and a half years and get a Switch for myself (insert bittersweet laughing here)!! As a result, when it came to gaming, the possibilities became nigh endless. Instead of praying that a game I kinda like even manages to launch, I could dive headfirst into anything that catches my eye with confidence and no hesitation! I had so many options, in fact, that I ended up making a Backloggd account to assist myself. (yup, still helpful, though I'm much more loose about keeping track of shit now) Almost anything I played that isn’t on this list can be found there, if you’re curious! This, however, turned out to be a double-edged sword. More options means more garbage to wade through, and yet the best games tend to draw you in quicker than you think. (so true bestie)
After this, a list of games that did nothing but disappoint me that year followed. I don't want to dwell on it too much now, but I'll still mention their names:
Night in the Woods (PC, 2017) - I was way too old to be their target audience and came out thoroughly disappointed, especially in the character cast and soundtrack.
Children of Morta (PC, 2019) - the progression is too slow, the cast isn't appealing enough, there's a lot of redundancy to the point where I dropped the game. However, it was fairly pretty and I liked the narrator enough to listen to his extra works.
Spiritfarer (PC, 2020) - best described not as ‘a cozy management game about dying’, but’ as ‘much ado about nothing’. These two reviews give voice to some of my frustrations better than I can. PS. Love lighthearted ableism!
Aria's Story (PC, 2018-2019) - A very little game that has nothing of value to tell you (that hasn't been done to death already) and has cheap jumpscares every five minutes.
Hyper Light Drifter (PC, 2016) - I don’t get this one. The idea of telling a story without words seemed appealing at first, until I realized that I actually need words in my stories!
Moonlighter (PC, 2018) (confusing gameplay, boring music and plot)
OMORI (PC, 2020) (I think I have an allergy to this game)
Yume Nikki (PC, 2004) (sorry, but nah, I don’t get it)
Long Live the Queen (PC, 2012) (more like Long Live the Guide)
Owlboy (PC, 2016) (why would you do my boy Otis like that? Also, my apologies to Rads)
UnderMine (PC, 2019) (should have been called UnderGrind)
Baba is You (PC, 2019)  (actually not bad, but brain is fry)
Hand of Fate (PC, 2015) (the font hurt me, there’s nothing really good here other than narration)
Minute of Islands (PC, 2021) (should have been a picture book, otherwise it’s a neat interpretation of ‘no man is an island’)
...'okay, but surely not everything you played was garbage?'
Right you are, hypothetical reader! And this is how I would like to introduce what once was the 'honorable mention' section of my record. These notes have actual substance to them and are formatted similarly to my 2020 list! There is a game that is of particular importance (because I ended up playing its sequels in 2022) at the end of this section.
Hades (PC, 2020) [♪ House of Hades]
Yes, I get to put the game of the previous year here again, because it is my list. All things considered, I love Hades too much not to use the opportunity to mention it again! I played it till March to wrap up some of the tasks that are more… out there (learning to play without god mode, chasing extra dialogue, and climbing up in ranks), and it was fun pretty much the whole time. Streaming it was a grand time while it lasted, as well (not very long at all). All the mediocre roguelikes I touched this year fail to measure up to Hades in any capacity. 💖 Still true - my interest in roguelikes\-lites has naturally dropped since then, but Hades' excellency was a major factor in this.
Sayonara Wild Hearts (PC, 2019) [♪ Doki Doki Rush]
Kiss Your Ex And Lie About Your Genre On Steam: the game. The only thing preventing this from being a game that is barely worth mentioning is its really good soundtrack. (I played it about a quarter of the way through before realizing that a far better option than standing still and letting the music play out would be to just watch the whole thing.)
I also like the general style of it and find it pretty unique (even though Katana ZERO did something similar in a much more cohesive and enjoyable fashion), but playing it was an exercise of frustration that prevented me from appreciating the awesome landscapes. Parallel Universes is a pretty incredible level concept, yeah, but I did NOT handle it well.
I didn’t jive with any of the symbolism either (I guess it’s gay though. Good for them), however, I am still glad something as creative as this exists, even if it is clearly not cut out for me. Can’t believe I let this game gather dust for months, when I could have just given up. lol
A Hero and a Garden (PC, 2019) [♪ Shop Bell]
A clever little mix of visual novel and clicker game that manages to have an interesting story, despite starting out with the oldest of cliches (hell yeah, there's a princess!). Music is really sweet too, and even in a runtime as short as ~2 hours, you end up feeling for the protagonist. If you don't have much free time, spend it on this for a complete experience.
Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! (PC, 2021) [♪ Dreams of Love and Literature]
PM died for this.
Ohhh… A horror VN classic… Yeah, sure. It’s actually not that great, but some of the music is downright incredible (i.e. the linked song and about half of the songs added in the new edition), and it was a game that undeniably helped and inspired many people. I can’t say I regret spending time with it, but it didn’t impress me, either. The scares got ever so slightly more predictable over time, and it became clear that all they were aiming for is shock value. This game reminds me of Night in the Woods in the way that it had been severely overhyped by contemporary teenagers.
At least Yuri was pretty, I guess?.. But really, all the girls did was represent some overdone anime -dere cliche. It was very likely done on purpose, which is something to be respected for sure, but the fandom ran with it anyway, cause fandoms be fandoming. Shame! (Monika is the obvious exception, but the way they built her up was through the simplest of text dumps, oh, and they also gave her a Twitter account or something. Come on, get creative!)
Rhythm Doctor (PC, 2021) [♪ Rollerdisco Rumble]
Healing hearts and minds with the power of rhythm, hell yeah! Absolutely incredible concept! Combine that with amazing pixel art and animation that makes the small world come alive, the incredibly flashy aesthetic that draws attention from the outside and utterly fucks with your performance on the inside, and an overall message that both promotes peace and showcases humane struggles of a medical profession… the way it ends up going places you wouldn’t quite expect is just so good. And through all that, the game retains its charm and positive vibe! I want a bigger scope, though – it was over far too quickly. Oh, and a little more accessibility options wouldn’t hurt. 
The flashiness of this game reminds me of Rhythm Heaven trying to mess with the player, but pushed to an extreme, which is delightful. I had to clear most of the later levels with my eyes closed, and rewatching them later was quite an unusual and fun experience!
Coffee Talk (PC, 2020) [♪ Come Closer]
Pretty (the pixel art reminded me a lot of the PC-98, which is never a bad thing. Oh, dithering, my beloved!) and has an atmosphere, but not nearly as impactful as a game from later on this list with the exact same premise.
Can be good for a getaway\escape kinda game, and the decision to focus the soundtrack on the lo-fi genre is wonderful, but the story has no staying power, and not even the ‘make your own latte art’ gimmick ended up working out, because the process would always feel… either too realistic or too finicky, I wouldn't be able to tell. I’m no barista! Oh, and I guess there was some message about overworking employees?.. I literally forgot.
Ys: Memories of Celceta (PC, 2012-2018) [♪ Wise Man]
So, this was my… *checks notes* fifth Ys? I started with Oath (okay… I guess…), then I played I&II (and wrote about that in 2020) and dabbled in Origin (it was… exhausting to play, but well-written), and I played VIII this year before this (more on that later). So I thought I had enough experience (and understanding of the fandom’s general opinion on Celceta) to know what to expect when I began my journey in this game. Boy, was I wrong! But still, it's obvious that the earliest iteration of the party system would be worse than VIII's, and playing the games in the order that I did may have screwed my impression.
First, the good things. I actually grew unreasonably attached to the artstyle of this game. I loved the fresh take on a younger Adol just starting to give in to his lust for adventure, and the other party members had quite good designs too (especially Duran. I dunno, I can’t help but love that husk of a dude). Some of the locations were endlessly charming (I loved running laps around Casnan with its upbeat music and fun NPCs, and was awed by how pretty Danan ended up looking for a Falcom game). The world was decently fun to explore overall, but I think most of that fun came from seeing what is an early draft of what would later become Lacrimosa of Dana.
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The music is absolutely lovely! Everyone loves Ys for constantly offering hardcore rock guitar bangers or whatever, and while Celceta isn’t without a couple of these, I ended up appreciating far more how much calmer it sounds as a whole. There are plenty of tracks that offer you much needed downtime, and the sound of the game feels more mellow than your usual Ys soundtrack.
The gameplay\battle system was overall serviceable, with a few nags in its way - movement felt more restricted than before, and breaking enemies’ guard felt more tedious than necessary. But hey, there’s no raids in this game! hahahahaha-
That ending single-handedly ruined a decent game and is as bad as everyone said it was. I broke down in hysterics when it actually happened. Also, I am still mad about getting only 99.3% map completion! That part of the game is crazy!!
Ib (PC, 2012) [♪ Uneasiness]
My memories of this are quite scattered, but I really enjoyed it, so have this heap of thoughts!
Aria’s Story, but good enough to leave an impression on you, since Gary is an actual character. He serves as a great mentor figure – even without coming across as stiff or all-knowing, he has a lot to give and teach Ib, which makes for a good dynamic that contrasts his disheveled looks well. It’s clear he cares about the girl, but is reluctant to show it clearly enough for her to understand fully, but she clings on to him as her last hope anyway. It’s pretty damn beautiful, actually. also the handkerchief in the true ending omg
The other girl with the yellow rose… Mary… good contrasting character, but her betrayal could be seen from a mile away, which, I guess, is the point, but still not satisfying.
Music is somewhat good too, and the game nailed the aesthetic of an art gallery (including successfully subverting expectations).
The jumpscares rely more on the physical suddenness of it all rather than psychological pressure, and it works out really well – even if you’re cringing, your body is affected. Plus, they fit well thematically, given the protagonists’ age. Speaking of which, the ??? thing (if Ib doesn’t know a word, you won’t know it either, basically) is clever, but gets old a little too quickly.
The idea of linking their life energy to fragile but sharp roses is somewhat creative and executed very well, especially regarding Gary’s blue rose.
The chase sequences were kinda annoying, but not nearly as awful as Aria, thank god.
Basically, this was the game that, alongside OFF, convinced me I might be into RPG Maker games, but, unfortunately, I've yet to find anything else that matches Ib and OFF's energy in this niche\'subgenre'. (And of course, this is talking about the version available as freeware, and not this year's rerelease, which I am curious about, but have no plans of playing.)
Butterfly Soup (PC, 2017) [♪ Thought Projection]
The most wholesome VN I have ever seen. The art is very pretty and expressive without being overwhelming (and of course, the focus on purple\pink is extremely satisfying to me personally). Music is cute and never gets annoying; it may be royalty-free, but it was chosen with clear care. 
This game, in my opinion, is genuinely funny without coming across as insincere, and I don’t feel inclined to agree with those who tend to say its ‘uwu humor’ did not age well, because I personally laughed at most of it (the Zero Escape reference got me, man)! And even if I hadn’t, it would still, ironically, fit well with the overall message (which is that growing up and learning new things about yourself is good, and it’s fine not to know what you’re doing for a while, as long as you stay true to yourself and your friends)!
Some of the impact was lost on me due to the focus on America as a setting/baseball, but it's fine, since this focus was chosen with intent. Ultimately, the game carries the same message and does similar things to Night in the Woods, except successfully, without having to rely on random gameplay changes or ‘hip’ artstyle.
Evan’s Remains (PC, 2020) [♪ Whales]
The best thing about this game is its pixel art – just detailed enough for you to appreciate it, but not excessively so. The backgrounds in particular are nothing short of stunning.
Unfortunately, nothing else in Evan’s Remains manages to match that standard. The music, for the most part, is just there, the puzzles, while creative, can be somewhat irritating and repetitive, and the story, while starting out decently, has an ending that might be worse than Celceta’s and ends up making about as much sense. I would recommend you to watch footage of this game, but only if you like pixel art. It won’t take long, I promise.
Platform fighters I tried to give the light of day to
Super Smash Bros. Brawl - fun for just messing around in classic modes like the SSE and Multi-Man Brawl. Really, you can't ask much more of it.
Rivals of Aether - the most polished one that isn't Smash by far, really pretty and fun in general, but a little small in scope. I owe its soundtrack my life (or more accurately, one track. It's legit amazing to study to...)
Brawlhalla - as usual, don't trust a free game to be good. That's all.
In general, the copycats simply fail to capture the charm and spirit of Smash Bros, and Brawl is as much of a casual's game as one would expect. :)
All the idle\incremental games that ate up my time this year (yes, I like these too much, I know)
Namely, these, ordered from best to worst:
Kittens Game (actually amazing for killing boredom. the flavor text is extremely cute and the resource management is quite advanced)
Cookie Clicker (the classic. I lost my garden due to mods, and so shall never speak of this wretched curse again)
Tap Wizard (ironically, the only one on the list I'm still playing - now side by side with the sequel. Though the praise I gave to Kittens is still deserved.)
Trimps
Grimoire
Liquids
Exponential Idle
Shoutout to r/incremental_games for enabling me to dive deeper into this toxic, awful, beautiful genre of timewasters :)
Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (DS, 2007) [♪ Trial]
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AKA ‘the one where Phoenix done fucked up’. First AA I played the Android version of, and it held up pretty well (certainly better than emulating DS via RetroArch)! The remastered graphics annoyed me less than expected, and the gorgeous OST (best in the series so far, unless you count Investigations, and overall a glow-up and joy to my ears [< Still true. I might be ready to shill AA6 music any day, but nothing can top the excellency of AJ music even now.]) has remained intact.
I don't think this game ever reaches the highs that AA3 did, but it is certainly not for a lack of trying. I can understand the sentiment behind 'being done with Phoenix', for sure, and him still being here proves to be a sign for the beginning turmoil of the series and the struggles that Takumi is only now beginning to see the end of with GAA.
I didn’t find myself exactly attached to any of the main characters (okay, maybe Klavier awakened something or other in me, who can say [so valid, but girl... your personal prosecution turmoil is far from over]), but that has been the case for basically the entire main series as well, so that’s not surprising to me personally.
4-1 was more fun than I expected it to be based on popular opinion, and I got a good chuckle out of the ‘’’Russian’’’ waitress and the mental image of hobo!Phoenix eating borsch, but it’s still no 3-1. 4-2 and 4-3 especially were less than impressive, and overall the game got steadily worse over time.
I still appreciated it for trying to pave a new road for the series, for, again, having a fantastic soundtrack, and for making Phoenix into a lovable utter failure (should have stayed that way, his days were indeed over), but… AJ is not the best Ace Attorney by a long shot. 4-4 was pretty damn good though, and I loved how the jurist system was integrated in both story and gameplay, even if the threat it tried to present fell way short. Also, Vera Misham is the cutest girl we’ve ever had to defend.
PS. Klapollo have bigger gay energy than Wrightworth do, fight me. 2022 me here to report that I no longer want to fight anyone, because in the end it turned out I'm the loser who got somewhat into Blackmadhi. And also I now think the two ships in question are about equally good.
Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS, 2012) [♪ Chaos]
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I actually had barely played the game throughout either year, but it still deserves this spot.
A game that aged better than expected. Really fun to play on an actual big screen (and with savestates – the Mila's Turnwheel of yore). Music is still godlike after all these years. Still haven't gotten far enough to marry Chrom, but I was almost there, I swear!! (If you think I care a lot about much else after so many years, you're a fool.)
I don’t have much more to say because a passion for this game has burned within me for years now, and playing it now just matches every expectation of it I used to have. It’s very dear to me, and it’s very good, and that’s good enough.
The actual 2021 list
Rhythm Tengoku (GBA, 2006) [♪ Iai Slash] + Rhythm Heaven Fever (Wii, 2011) [♪ See-Saw]
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Rhythm Heaven is a very special, fun and wonderful little series, and I'm happy to say that spending more time with it was the first thing I thought of when I got my new PC.
I played through both Tengoku and Fever this year, but I believe the former is more remarkable because... It's my first time! And the game is honestly a little brutal compared to Fever (thank god for savestates), but it looks somewhat impressive for the GBA, and the music is fabulous, and it's just so exciting to properly see the origins of the best rhythm game series ever. If the ranking system was just a tad less strict, I would have loved to get to know it fully.
However, keep in mind this is the game that has Quiz and an endless game as original as Mr. Upbeat. You can’t have your cake and eat it?..
Anyway, Fever I actually managed to complete without much issues (Working Dough 2 aside. My god, that game can go fuck itself.), which was another longtime dream of mine! Yay!! In my opinion, Fever hits the perfect sweetspot between being so strict you can’t pass a remix and being so forgiving that you don’t feel accomplished unless you get a Perfect (looking at you, Megamix). The games are well-varied as well, although overall they rely too much on holding A+B together… I suppose that is better than motion controls, though!
More about the games themselves: most of them are solid. If you haven’t gleaned this from the first paragraph already, I think See-Saw is actually a classic. My favorite remix has always been the fourth one (kinda obvious if you bother scrolling through the wall of shitposts on my ‘about’ page), and I have a soft spot for all games on that set, too. Love Rap, while not outstanding, actually gave me a lot less trouble than anticipated (following cues out loud helps), and you just can’t have Karate Man beat!
Even some of the more obscure games, like the two-player Pirate Crew (which I played on my own, while emulating two controllers. It’s fun that way, but quite tough!), are well-made and fun! I’m so glad that even… roughly four years later for me, the game managed to deliver.
Trials of Mana / Seiken Densetsu 3 (PC, 2020 / SNES, 1995) [♪ Meridian Child]
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Ah yes, the second-to-last good Mana game with a soundtrack that at times outshines Chrono Trigger! (only at times, though.)
Disclaimer: I have only played the remake, and I only did it once (Riesz\Kevin\Angela was my party). However, I watched two playthroughs that covered the other routes, and one of them was of the SNES version of Trials. Yeah, that took a lot of time!..
(Surprisingly enough, that was all past me had left me with. This is where the list in general shows how it ended up unfinished in time! Time to wrestle with my own memories!)
Here's the thing: for the mid-90s, this game is impressive as all hell. And as someone who has considered herself a casual fan of the series for a few years now (Secret being one of the few games I had a good time with on the SNES Classic, and Legend leaving me with a warmth of fondness in my heart), I was unusually, but unsurprisingly, excited to see this allegedly wonderful work come to us in its full splendor. The favorable reviews of the remake when compared against the sheer mediocrity that was their first attempt with Secret didn't help when it came to quelling my hype either.
And then I booted the game and was greeted eagerly with the wonder of a song that is Meridian Child. You bet I looked forward to it!
In the end, though... even the best Mana games just aren't enough to compete with most RPGs of the modern day, or even some contemporary ones. That's not to say I didn't have fun, but you can't deny how basic this game's story, structure and gameplay feel in the 2020s.
I wasn't disappointed with my choice of characters (they made a very cohesive and satisfying team together, based on almost all-out offense), but I did feel like there wasn't much of anything done to make them feel like a well-thought out party narratively. I mean, the team in Secret didn't have that much reason to get together either, but considering how much the game and its fans tout how 'interconnected' the stories are... I think I have a right to feel let down. The gameplay system itself is pretty bare-bones, too - it doesn't feel all that different from the predecessor (I mean, yes, you no longer have to wait to strike at full power, but does that count as an actual change?), and playing it in 3D made me realize how much the charm of the excellent 2D sprites had carried the series all along.
The character designs are... very 90s, for all the good and bad that entails. Angela in particular deserves the small degrees of infamy she got upon the game's release. However, in a complete vacuum, they're quite pleasant (Riesz especially - doubly so in the Star Lancer class she ended up with on my playthrough.), and the way they change together with the classes (the whole idea of a class change in a game that's not strictly about classes like Fire Emblem is great!) is spectacular.
The music is absolutely wonderful, and unlike Secret, the remade versions don't ruin the SFC sound's charm either. Trials was one of the few remakes where I actively made use of the soundtrack version switch! It's still hard to pick a single favorite, even when my excitement about this game has long since quietened. Walls and Steels, Powell, the cheekily-named Secret of Mana (ignore the video title, lol - SE seems to have gotten greedy with copyright strikes in the years since I started this list) and Damn Damn Drum are just a few pieces I have enjoyed for years - both the original and the remade versions.
The logical conclusion here is that in this day and age, this game is nothing more than eye candy, accompanied with Kikuta's finest work. But hey, sometimes that's just what you need, and I enjoyed what it had to offer!
Wandersong (PC, 2018) [♪ Sailing with the Coffee Pirates]
The one thing Wandersong became particularly well-known for is its… energy, in my opinion. On their own, the colorful visuals, charming writing and welcoming music wouldn't amount to nearly as much as they do when they all come together. Fitting for a game whose message is all about the whole world coming together to accomplish what no one could on their own, huh?
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This, believe it or not, is the solution to basically every problem - big or small - that plagues the world of Wandersong. Good thing singing is basically all our adorable protagonist* can do! You'll never guess what they end up doing for the world they live in, either!! (save it. they save it.) ...but what matters is that they don't do it alone. (and that they're not the eternally cheerful bundle of energy they always seem to be.)
*I lovingly named them Bong as soon as I saw the opportunity to do so, but I know their actual name is supposed to be Kiwi. I doubt I'll address the character themselves much while writing, but if I do, I'll probably end up calling them the Bard anyway, for simplicity. 'Bong' was funny while it lasted, though!
Call it cheesy, call it overdone - it doesn't change the excellent execution of the ideas brought to the table. Playing this game is like looking back at your younger self who believed in fairytales, and telling them 'no, it's not always like those stories, even if sometimes it seems that it will be. But what you can do is be yourself, and like-minded people will flock to you. And others will have something to learn from your example!'.
Also, you can dab and play Megalovania (if you know how to) in this game. 10/10 meme potential. ...I'm honestly struggling to put my impressions in words - it really is just a warm cup of coffee brewed the right way. It can barely be described any better than a warm way of sunshine. My rambling doesn't do justice to how adorable it was.
Va-11 Hall-A + KIDS! (PC, 2016 + 2018) [♪ Base of the Titans + Her Noise]
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Screw it, I don't care what this inclusion says about me. I recognize this has similar pitfalls to the previously shat on Night in the Woods (Jill is barely any better of a protagonist than Mae, only more grounded; the amount of stupid and/or immature jokes is similar, if not worse; the Julianne minigame is super dumb), but listen! I just heard of a visual novel that was inspired by PC-98 graphics and immediately drooled and had to find out more.
The pixel art is indeed immaculate, if not too varied. The music is really good. Might not be something to listen to much outside of the game, but while you play, it ENHANCES the experience ♥ [this is so funny to read to me, considering I Still consider this to be a phenomenal score and have come to enjoy it a ton in 2022, even finding it genuinely inspiring at times. Don't listen to past me, this game is full of bangers.] Not to mention how diverse it can be sometimes — i.e. the track above vs. Snowfall vs. Showtime! [my personal current favorite] That, combined with how you're in charge of what you're hearing most of the time, makes for a very chill experience that manages to reflect what you're feeling impressively well.
The idea of the story changing depending on the drinks you mix is interesting in theory, but the way it plays out in practice is just a lot of basic win/fail branching that doesn't ever seem to change more than a few lines most of the time. The script is actually quite robust when you look deep into it, but it's hard to witness while you actually play. This game could benefit from a flowchart to encourage players to explore. (However, Alma acknowledging you're trying to cheer her up with her favorite drink despite her ordering something entirely different – that's good! I want more of that!)
Other things ruining the drink system are:
the fact that the recipes are easily accessible, so unless Jill gets distracted and/or the order is obscure, it's impossible to screw it up or experiment;
it's all revealed at once, which makes gameplay more repetitive than it had to be;
you need a LOT of money, especially if you're buying as much furniture as I did, which further discourages you from experimenting on your first playthrough
A lot of the jokes are (im)mature, hit or miss, and reliant on recent internet culture. There's too many dogs and they're not even funny, either. This is not going to age well, but the game still made me chuckle reliably, dang it!
The world gets a surprising amount of development thanks to Jill's phone apps and exposure to all manner of clients. It's really a shame you don't get to see any of it aside from her bar and room! And despite what I said earlier, it's hard not to get invested in Jill's struggles to live and make peace with herself.
This is far from a masterpiece, but to me it's clear that it's not what it wanted to be – you can feel the developers striving for more, which is a good thing. It makes for a great time with a chilled beverage of your choice and it looks great, I couldn't ask for more!
KIDS! is a fabulous spinoff that is way too good for an April Fool's joke! The art is inspired and cute, the music is just as good as the original and even better at times, and the decrease in mature jokes is honestly refreshing.
Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana (PC, 2018) [♪ Royal Capital Aigius]
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I'm soooo conflicted on this one.
The character/flashbacks artwork is really amazing and I loved it all immediately... but I really can't say the same about the game's actual graphics. They're serviceable, but I wish there were more chances to show off the gorgeous artwork!
Dana might be the best character in the whole series and I fucking love her, but the way she exists in the same game as Sahad is a travesty. Dogi needed to switch places with him and be playable.
Exploring the island is pretty fun for the most part. The way everything's marked on the map makes it rot a little, for sure, but I won't refuse a nice distracting checklist! After all, I play Trails! Unfortunately, the locations don't vary, like, at all (aside from Eternia, which was great), so if you binge this game, you're guaranteed to get sick of greenery and dinosaurs :(
Some of the music is as good as you would expect from an early 10s Falcom game (everything to do with Dana/Eternia, Alone on the Deserted Island, Gens d'Armes, etc). Key word is 'some'. Despite what I just said, I think Iclucian Dance is uh... Flawed. And all music for raids/hunts can die in a fire. In addition, aside from these clearly bad tracks, I have bias against the kind of music Ys uses in general, so in total my OST impression is one big fat 'meh!'.
I like the general idea of abandoned island/castaways, getting them back together and having to figure out what's going on before stumbling onto Dana... Why did this get diluted with thematic clashes ghost pirate ships and silly assassins?
Getting the castaways might be fun, but their actual personalities are unimpressive. I don't want to blow this flaw out of proportion - this is Ys, after all, and it's about as good as I would expect for Ys, but still. The feeling of the whole village bonding is greater than the impressions from its individual residents. Not to mention, it devolved into yet another save the world plot near the end, when I would've preferred something that focused on Dana more than it already did.
Moving on to gameplay... wow, an Ys game that has a party instead of a single playable character works? Kinda. The bare minimum is done to distinguish between characters, and the Flash system trivializes most differences anyway. In the end, only Adol and Dana are actually fun to use. Unless you count spamming the same skill over and over.
Sanctuary Crypt was a very fun optional dungeon with the best boss to boot. Block puzzles soured my impression, though. Meanwhile, most of the other levels are nothing to write home about, if not outright terrible.
And since I have nowhere else to put this: raids/hunts as a whole are unnecessary, grind the slow pace of the game to a halt and are not fun. Also, giving Adol binary and meaningless dialogue options won't make him a nicer character, the outside narrator explaining his thoughts in the older games was better.
Cosmic Star Heroine (PC, 2017) [♪ A Conspiracy]
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What do we have here? A very unique battle system that is greatly enjoyable, but really, only in short bursts (a huge part of why I almost burnt out on the game was playing it on Hard / Heroine – made it drag). What makes it stand out is how it elegantly limits your abilities - you can only use each of your equipped moves once, before you have to recharge them by defending. It's a refreshing take, to be sure, but when you play the game for hours on end, it turns into something that feels more like padding than actual mechanic.
There's also a unique soundtrack, which should not really be a surprise, given the composer, but still, you just don't hear stuff like A Firebrand, An Agitator in your everyday RPG! It can feel a little off and cringe-inducing sometimes, but it's honestly just very awesome overall.
The pixel art in this game can be hit or miss, but luckily, it never missed in its most important moments, and character portraits did not fail to please.
That's about where CSH's strengths come to an end, however. When it comes to personalities, everyone is pretty dry and feels like cardboard, but it felt fair to me, since I knew what I was jumping into. And the gorgeous presentation, battle system and decent jokes all outweighed the forgettable plot!!! It was a good time ♥
Pyre (PC, 2017) [♪ Surviving Exile]
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Near flawless given what it sets out to do, discounting the slower pacing near the second half. For a pitch as uniquely strange as 'visual novel where you have to play a game of sports-lite about a dozen times', Pyre manages to be incredibly compelling and welcoming to nigh everyone that approaches it, thanks to having what can be graciously called an open-ended story that is, in a way, completely independent from the 'sports'-like parts of the game (you can lose every match and still reach the end), and yet, in a lot of other ways, bound together (hehe) with it so intricately that it might as well count as a gameplay\story integration masterclass. The fates of characters you love riding on your shoulders and the performance you're willing to deliver is a simple, but elegant way to set up the narrative.
And the gameplay itself is... well... it's everything you could want it to be within reason, I guess. On the surface, it's not particularly complicated - you control three characters one at a time to score goals while preventing the AI from doing the same - but the amount of choices given (and supported by the narrative) when it comes to composing your team and letting it grow is surprisingly high. In addition, one of the defining features of Supergiant's games is the freedom they give you when it comes to difficulty, and Pyre is no stranger to this. There's the previously mentioned freely available option to lose, but if that's not enough, Pyre has an always accessible difficulty toggle and the (by this point expected) extra difficulty modifiers.
Of course, one of the biggest reasons Pyre saw success in the first place was its ingenious presentation - it's pretty without being overwhelming with details or feeling pretentious, the character designs stand out on their own while also conveying a much needed feeling of unity... and the soundtrack is one of the best I've heard in a game, period, managing to tie plenty of rather diverse styles, from the gentle vocals used in something like Mourning Song to the appropriately abrupt metal track that is Thrash Pack, together neatly, without clashing or betraying the game's intentions.
And that's without going into how dynamic everything sounds - there's the obvious changes, like the theme song of the Liberation Rites and the (wonderful) ending song changing lyrics depending on who you faced and\or what the outcome was, and the more subtle ones, like Surviving Exile (and most other tracks) having different layers to them that show themselves appropriately, with that track in particular doing a splendid job of both setting the game's overall mood and, well, setting, as well as providing a thematic foundation for three of the game's more important characters.
That's not to say they're given more time than the rest or anything like that - all characters, at least the ones that band together for your cause, are well-written given the short runtime (I always looked forward to talking with the kind and resolute Hedwyn in particular :) ), and even those that face off against you carry just enough intrigue to be interesting and have their own place in this strange little world. Therefore, Pyre excels at selling you the found family narrative, if you're willing to stick to it, not in the least because your role as the Reader in particular is handled so well.
You're basically half of the reason these beings of different walks and ways of life could have banded together instead of resigning themselves to their fate in the first place, they owe a lot to you in that sense, and yet, they make it a point to make sure you stand as an equal among them. They're willing to stand up for you just as much as you are for them, though some might need a little convincing first. It all makes for lovely interactions that enhance the cast and the world around them, while still making your place in it feel unique. Never have I felt so good about being literate, which is a plot point that ends up enhancing the worldbuilding in rather impressive ways - helping you feel closer ties with everything that's happening, since obviously you can read, and making the world around you take shape and feel more real thanks to the Book of Rites. (And of course, the small detail of being able to choose the Reader's pronouns and that change being reflected everywhere, including the music, is just about the cherry on top - I like it because you can use it both to increase immersion and to distance yourself from the narrative as much as you want.)
So yeah! A refreshing experience that never quite falters from start to finish, with a powerful and positive message to deliver... it would have been the game of the year... were I not a Trails fan...
Katana ZERO (PC, 2019) [♪ Katana ZERO]
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Yes, I did pick that track to do the 'Fullmetal Alchemist. Fullmetal Alchemist.' thing. But it's also genuinely really good! Although my big faves are Sneaky Driver, Full Confession and Overdose. The soundtrack in general, while hit or miss sometimes, overall has an incredible sound that would resonate very well with younger me, methinks. The heavy reliance on bass and repetition is exactly what I'm here for, and it's a flawless fit for a game that has you spend a lot of time perfecting the execution of each of its challenges – it draws you into the setting and the mood without having an overwhelming presence. I also love the little detail of Zero actually turning it on every level – I admit, it got me pretty pumped across the whole game.
The aesthetic/presentation is top notch, I enjoyed every second of it. Zero's movement looks and feels very fluid, the overall color scheme is just my absolute favorite, and the way it all reminded me somewhat of the glory days of vaporwave was great too. Not to mention that in general, 2D art in games is my jam... I was SOLD!
The gameplay is far from my comfort zone, but I ended up enjoying it more than expected (it almost gave me the worst case of hand cramps I've ever had, that's how addictive it is, lmao). It's a huge shame that I can't think of any other similar games off the top of my head that I would truly get interested in, without having to wrestle with heavy-themed plots or anything similar (because let's face it, this was one of the few games where I didn't bother with engaging with the story. I was here for the spectacle, and boy, on that level it delivered.).
I loved the general cycle of 'start the level, die immediately, start actually plotting a strategy, die as soon as that strat fails you, develop a fully functional plan, spend some more time executing it... wait, I did it! And didn't realize I was holding my breath the whole time! PHEW, time to watch the tape!'. The last level in particular had me feeling like I was pulling off pure miracles just with my guts and reaction, and it's a fantastic feeling! ...and then I watched the speedruns of the game, which show perfectly how tight the execution in this game has to be, and lost my mind, it's crazy.
The dialogue system in KZ, while undercooked, is intriguing nonetheless, and some of the optional dialogue can be pretty funny. (Pinkachu, anyone?) In addition, I found it ridiculously hilarious to see СУКАБЛЯТЬ multiple times across this otherwise clearly-not-supposed-to-be-russian-at-all game.
And, despite just saying that I did not care for the overarching story, I have to admit, I was drawn in by the sheer mysterious, yet human-like, presence of Zero as the protagonist. This is a game that's not afraid to be itself, and, for better or worse, it had all the right elements to undeniably suck me in. Playing it even a year later is a feeling so specific and good that I'm stuck yearning for more of it. Maybe one day it'll come in the form of DLC?
OneShot (PC, 2016) [♪ On Little Cat Feet]
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This game genuinely was a touching little experience (and you know me, I love me some toying with the fourth wall), complete with adorable pixel art and one of the sweetest protagonists known to RPGs. I know usually people tend to rave about this game (and rightfully so, most of the hubbub is deserved), but personally I'm like 'yeah! I played it! It was fantastic!', and I don't really want to preach to the choir beyond that. I do want to point out that this will probably remain one of my favorite 'meta' gaming experiences, though - this game does not try too hard to appeal to the player (and therefore, it never feels like the narrative is falling flat on its face), and the simple story hook of a lost child like Niko trying to find their way with your help is lovely and effective at keeping you invested. It's just... nice, okay? Sometimes it's enough for a game to be nice.
The Legend of Heroes: Trails to Azure (PC, 2011, tr. 2021) [♪ Heavenly Chariot]
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There are a couple of points to make about this game:
1. The music in Azure is beyond incredible, and showing off but a single track would be an unforgivable crime. At the same time, it's very easy to just point to the entire damn OST as an example of RPG music excellency. I guess they were not kidding when they said Falcom peaked music-wise right around the time this game came out!! When I talked about Zero, I mentioned that, despite how much I liked that soundtrack, I felt like it lacked consistency to a certain degree, which had hurt it, in my opinion. Azure, looking back, managed to strike the balance between having distinct memorable tracks and staying cohesive as a game soundtrack, which is what, deep down, I was looking for in Zero the year before. I remember laughing to myself about how different my opinions on Trails music tend to be from what seems to be the norm established in the fandom, but playing through Azure was the first time I found myself agreeing with 'the masses'. It's impossible not to adore this soundtrack.
2. The main reason this will never be the greatest of Trails to me is that I believe Azure marks the point in the series where the time put into the game (as a completionist who fishes for everything each Kiseki has to offer) starts to become disproportionate to what you actually get out of it.
To explain: while the main storyline is as well-written and exciting (though in a different way from Sky or even Zero - this game is famous for pulling out all the stops, and starting with a bang while finishing with a series of even bigger bangs) as always, this very likely came at the cost of the usually outstanding dialogue of the NPCs. Each time you go on your routine laps around the region, in any way you can, 90% of the time you will only see characters say one-liners about the current situation. That you just witnessed during the main quest from the perfect viewpoint. With your own eyes. It gets, uh... annoying?
And in addition to that, Azure is crazy about locking DP behind random things. Some of them are easy to figure out, naturally, but you will not be reaching first (or even second) rank without guides. And the biggest reason for this is the combination of ridiculously well-hidden quests and unwinnable battles that give you 5 DP in exchange for burning out on your item stash!! >:( You can be smug about this point, given that this is part of what the whole series is known for, but attaining max DP rank here is definitely more of a challenge than even in its prequel.
If that wasn't enough, there are eleven characters Lloyd can get bonding events with, drastically up from Zero's three for like no reason? Which is clearly designed to entice you into doing multiple playthroughs of a 100+ hours long game! I am not against getting more of beloved protagonists, but this is a very bad way to go about it. [laughs in CS1]
The gameplay here is also something I came to appreciate more a year later, after getting to know CS1. As the saying goes, you don't know what you have till it's gone, and this applies perfectly to the changes made to the battle system, particularly Orbments, over the years. When I played Azure, I didn't think too favorably of the addition of Master Quartz, but it ultimately made for an excellent fit, further emphasizing the combat roles the characters are made to fill while giving you an improved sense of progression with the MQ being able to level up.
All this, combined with the fact that I had been stubborn enough to use Hard instead of Normal (lose-lose deal – on Normal regular encounters wouldn't be as fun, on Hard I get my ass kicked by ultra-strong bosses harder. Retry Offset, I miss you...)... Yeah, that is why I almost broke the game with debug mode during the finale (that boss fight was over-reliant on Burst, I swear), and I have no regrets :p
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Switch, 2018) [♪ Main Theme ~ Piano]
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This GIF is actually an accurate summary of how my time with this game went.
I feel like, despite past me claiming that Azure was rightfully the spotlight of her year, the true game of 2021 was this all along. Partially because '21 was the only year when I could enjoy it to the fullest. I don't really want to talk about it much, which is funny when I try to look back at the huge rant I had half-prepared about my love-hate relationship with this game (bring back shielddropping! and good singleplayer! and give us good online!), rife with comparisons to Smash 4 and small things only true nerds semi-competitive players care about, but now it all just reminds me of the Smash Ball-shaped hole I have in my soul.
Maybe in another world, I'll be able to enjoy Smash again. For now, I have to thank Ultimate for making 2021 feel like something I earned. For the greatest soundtrack a game ever could have. And of course, for the Palutena buffs. I still remember when I thought she would never appear again, much less be empowered like she was. 💚
In conclusion, this is a game that can be painful to love, but love persists nonetheless, because there is nothing like Smash Ultimate in the world. ❤ - 2021 me, who was right
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mccnstruck · 1 year
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field trip, yay! Where are you going? What are you guys going to do there?
VERY SORRY yuki for not answering this sooner!!!
but i went to another highschool in our nearby communities for like a newspaper conference ! since i'm in the newspaper club we got to go and meet other schools with their way of storytelling and meet really nice and cool editors and publishers (although im going to admit 3 out of the five people we got to listen to were so SLOW AT TALKING i literally lost my focus so many times) but I HAD sm fun !!!!
oo oo im like rambling cuz like i hold this newspaper very dear to me, especially since without it i dont think i would've started writing anything on tumblr or even just find the love of writing again so its so cool to me how i came in wanting to just draw and take photos for it and now a year later its built up so much of my confidence and gave me the opportunity to self-advocate for myself and the things i need to get done
oo but theres was an awards section and i got 3rd place in photography !!! tbh it was such a jumpscare to see my name on the screen but it was cool and im very happy :)
we went out and got food from a restaurant and then went back but otherwise very cool since i havent gone on a field trip in years so i had a blast skipping three tests
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15 questions 15 tags (probably like 1)
I was tagged by @yournowheregirl, thanks so much for thinking of me Alice! I always love these.
1. Are you named after anyone? No. My mom hated her own name so she didn't want to pass it to me, her mom had the same name and the other grandma also didn't have a name she liked. I have two fun stories related to my naming though: a) If my surname didn't begin with Ra, I would have been Laura. But my mom didn't want me to sound like I stuttered when introducing myself so she chose Aneta instead. Thank you, mom. b) My dad was a historian. They had an agreement that if I was a boy, he'd name me - he then mentioned four horribly archaic and ridiculous names (on top of that, my surname is Germanized, so imagine something like Dirschmiedová) - my father said I'd be either Soběbor, Radegast, Vintíř or Jiljí. None of these are modern. Or normal. When my mom heard them, she made up her mind that I'd be a girl. Pretty sure she willed me to be born a girl. Once again, thanks mom. (also dad claimed to his dying day he was joking, but we remain to be convinced).
2. When was the last time you cried? I don't cry much. I'm pretty sure my antidepressants block some of it, but I can usually only cry during movies when I'm on my own. In real life situations, I just push it down because I always had to be the responsible one who couldn't break down. I don't remember exactly when I cried the last time, but the movie that always makes me shed some tears is Coco.
3. Do you have kids? No. 4 cats are enough for now. Maybe one day when I'm in a different place. But as of now, I don't think I would be a good parent.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes. Because some people deserve nothing less. Or situations. Or things. Hell, sarcasm is good for everyone.
5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Usually? Their voice. I'm not great with remembering of names or facial features (although I often notice hair), but voices and (yeah, I'm one of those people) culture of speech.
6. What's your eye color? Ahem. Blue-grey-green something? It changes with my makeup.
7. Scary movies or happy endings? Preferably scary movies with happy endings. It's difficult to choose - I dislike forced happy endings, unrealistic ones. As for scary movies, I dislike gore and jumpscares, but I'm very fond of creepy stuff, thrillers, even some older slashers (Halloween, my beloved). One of my ideal movies to illustrate this blend is the Corpse Bride - a happy ending in a way, but still bittersweet. Or even Coco I mentioned above.
8. Any special talents? I have three that come to mind. I think I'm pretty good at presenting stuff. I teach in my free time and I think I'm able to organize things well enough for people to understand what I'm trying to tell them. The second one is not a real talent, but my mom made sure I'd have great pronunciation - she'd always criticize me for mumbling and while I wasn't happy about it as a kid, I'm told I sound really good when speaking. So I'm kind of proud of that. The third thing is kind of funny - I like singing. I used to compete in smaller convention karaoke competitions and me and my friend would always go against each other - her range is much better and voice stronger, but nerves always take away from that. Me - I was always nervous as hell but it made my performances a bit more heartfelt, so I won quite a few times. My friend still teases me about it.
9. Where were you born? In a hospital in a different town because my parents knew the doctor there. So people always ask "oh, you're from X?" and I tell them "yup, I spent whole 2 days of my life there!"
10. What are your hobbies? Uuuugh. So so so many. I'm one of those people that can never pick just one. The ones you probably know already is - I write, draw and read a lot. I sing, used to play flute and guitar, want to pick that up again (also ukulele, I got one from my boyfriend). I'm (very slowly) learning Spanish. I also used to do some voice acting for tiny fan projects, I play a lot of computer/PS games, board and card games too (Magic the Gathering and Yu-Gi-Oh! when I have someone to play with). I also read tarot cards. Pretty sure I forgot something.
11. Do you have any pets? Yes! For cats. I have a ginger elderly gentleman named Trevor, a moldy-looking gentle princess Moira (she is the gentlest thing in the world but has the loudest MROWRRRR), a noodly-looking gymnastic/athletic kitty Asura and the weirdest cat/dog blend I've ever seen - Šmudla.
12. What sports do you play/have you played? Well, these days I'm not too active, office job and all, even though I intend to take up swimming from March or April. From the stuff I used to do as a kid - volleyball, basketball (before we all realized I'd stay short) and (while not a sport, it sure felt like it) solo rock-and-roll dance. During my previous employment, I did Zumba, step-aerobic and Capoeira for a few months.
13. How tall are you? 165 cm. 5'4 says Google.
14. Favorite subject in school? Art, music, literature too. At uni, my absolute favorites were phonetics, phonology and spoken variants of English.
15. Dream job? I love acting and singing, so a musical singer sounds like a dream. A stand-up comedian because I love making people laugh. From the more realistic ones, I loved teaching English, but the job security sucked and the pay too, so I kept that as a hobby.
I see all my moots have already been tagged, so @hoples, do share something!
(also this is your tag if you feel like doing this and no one tagged you. Or just ask me for a tag in the comments and I will add it if you prefer it that way)
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xplrvibes · 2 years
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my opinion that nobody but me asked for:
i gotta say that so far hell week has been so bellow mid for me it’s not even funny. their editing also feels like it’s back to s1 with so many filler images it’s unnecessary and add absolutely zero value to the video itself. nothing about that hype lived up and i didn’t think it would (because frankly they always say it’s their best content, they’re “upping the game”, it’s the “most haunted place”, it’s a broken record at this point, we get it) but i definitely thought it would’ve been better than it has been so far.
the hill i will die on by myself, though, is: they joke way too fucking much and every single time they do it, they never get satisfying enough results. like it’s not the first time it’s happened and if you notice, it always happen when they’re being too loud or joking around too much/too often. when they take it seriously, when they get their heads in the game, they always get better results. every single time. i will absolutely die on that hill - spirits are not something to make jokes out of and if that’s your way to cope with being nervous then either find another one or go STUDY spiritual world/spirituality in depth to understand it better and lose the fear or cope with it better. the sooner they realize we’re all spirits and only have a body while we’re under the human condition, the sooner they understand fully that spirits have their own personality, their own trauma and wants and they don’t need permission to go from one place or another or to approach and communicate, the better they will become at this ghost hunting thing bc for me they’ve been falling flat for a while now tbh.
I feel like they go heavy on the filler images and jumpscares when they know they don't have a lot of actual paranormal content to put in the episode, partially to pad the timing of the vid, but also to try and create a more spooky environment to make up for the lack of paranormal activity.
Which is fine, but like- I don't know. Maybe pull it back a tiny bit.
Sidenote: xplrclub tidbit for you all (I don't normally do this, because I hate when people announce things that were said behind the xplrclub paywall, but I'm feeling generous and this is rather harmless) snc hired an illustrator to draw ages for their videos. So those creepy illustrations they've had in every video so far? Custom made for them. Kinda cool, I think.
And I agree with you on the joking. I don't mind some tomfoolery and jokes here and there, but there are times when it is too much and they just gotta chill and be in the moment. The Mrytles episode was much heavier on the joking than I can personally deal with, which may also be why I didn't exactly love it.
I think they still operate under the old school Vine/YouTube mentality of "the loud and the haha's = the views," which I guess has been working for them so far...but if they ever want to be taken even remotely seriously outside of that niche, they gotta scale it back a bit. They gotta find a happy medium (pun not intended) between what they traditionally know and what they want to be known for.
I randomly came across a video last week by a youtuber named Danny Gonzalez. He decided to try ghost hunting to see if it's real or fake. The first freaking clip he put in his video? snc freaking out over something, lol.
Yea, they're probably the most well known ghost hunting youtubers out there right now, but at what cost?
Anywhosie! Complete sidenote here but since we're kind of on the topic: I also think they would get more results if they (namely Sam, although Colby has his moments) stopped hammering in 8000 questions per second during the Estes Method and just chilled the fuck out a bit, let the answers come in, and try to figure out the conversation later. If I were a ghost trying to figure out their stupid modern technology and some fool was peppering me with questions and "OH MAH GAAAWWWDS!" every 30 seconds, I'd use my ghostly energy to chuck something out their heads lol.
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sexysilverstrider · 1 month
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I did not realize I sent that ask to a Leaf fan blog, you're just one of my most frequently found mutuals if that one time I liked and reblogged 300 posts from you is anything before getting jumpscared by you and learning you weren't a fancy named bot and also active. Anyways. You GET my vision, don't you. Look at how sassy Leaf is in Pokemas, look at how many character traits you can pull from Evolutions (if you are a greenleaf truther) even if not...Trace calls her big sis in the japanese version and cross-canon counterpart Pokespe Blue and Silver are chosen siblings.....let a girl have relationships and a life with people that isn't dragging Reguri to a diner to hype romance before shashaying out is all I'm thinking. Have you read "The Ash Connection?" It may be an acquired taste to some people but gosh I'm always shaking the screen over Lance and Leaf's relationship there like UGHHH. Mentor-Mentee relationships I tell you. Agatha telling him that if he makes an exception for one, then he has to for all after learning how some kids fall into Team Rocket and all the messy stuff there and Lance, gruff as he is, still caring sm, and being shooketh when he meets kid Leaf and her words reflect a rocket grunt's situation sm, and taking her as a student and owjihsnj her being so smol in his giant chair and reading big books and telling Steven she's a g-men agent too and him being all?? yo?? when did we induct pre-teens here?? you're literally 10? and Lance going "just turned 11 actually" and Steven being like...that is not helping your argument. they are SO silly pls, PLSSS. and even though im OOF at Silver and Leaf not getting along they are still fun because whoop whoop they ran into each other at Lake Rage where Silver had his "btw G-Men guy you might wanna watch the lake" and then dipped from TR to run away moment while ALSO going "oh I see. so the G-Men also take kids in like TR" moment which causes a "oh that kid was YOU" realization years later and a fight of "when you ran away from TR, you feared for your life. I'm fearing for my happiness" bc Leaf getting dragged along with Ash Shenanigans and straying from the plan means Lance may be TICKED with her and kick her out and cue lots of insecure "oh. he deactivated my card. im fired fr..." and Lance going "actually no, I did that to protect your identity in case we had a data breach. which we did." and his Serious Walk Talk about how "*insert lots of names* would be if so and so didn't step in"* and that's why he kept her and mild 😅 over how "in some ways, you are like me" but also be better. and then the symbolism of her backing away until she stood at the tip of his shadow. and also just how much Lance keeps reading into her schemes and actions and Leaf being annoyed by it but also when she finally gets a sneaky ;) "I did wonder if he ~ could ~ call a draw. checkmate I win ;D" to drop the pieces so the Indigo title gets split in half. like THAT IS MY LEAF. also when Unova Guy Dad told Lance "is she your student or your child" and "do not make the same mistake as I did with you" like HELLO??? and Lance on the plane learning she got hurt and just leaning an arm against the plane and all the Champions in the room are like "yo?? that's sm emotion from him..." meanwhile fandom is like "god forbid women be complex, or let teenage girls have confusing feelings to work through and be children" I gotta do everything myself around here le sigh. and that wonderful OP who wrote that fic of course. sorry I dunno if you'll even read all this but I had to blab.
we can write a wholeass essay in asks now?????
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wistsandmagic · 3 months
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Today was A Day. It didn't need to be a day. It didn't need to be the Factorio version of Everything Everywhere All At Once as told by Benoit Blanc. It really didn't.
I wanna work on things but my brain is not full of bees, it is bees. I have art I wanna draw. Sketches, really, but I wanna work on them.
I have one of the many current yarncraft projects in my lap to work on, I want to.
I both need and want to edit both the TF Aeterna AU fic and the TFA Blurred Lines fic.
I have TFA replies I need to get to. I think. I need to check our working rp file.
But my brain is bees. I am sitting here staring at tumblr and not even seeing it while a minecraft video plays in the background and the cats stare hungrily at Glyph making jambalaya in the kitchen.
I am severely tempted to rip this shirt off because the touch of cloth on skin right now is making my skin ache and I know it's just because I am entirely overstimulated but ASSDFHLWEHRLHDLKWHERAAAGH. Too jittery after the hellscape that was work today to go lay down and fix it that way.
I screamed in the car on the way home. Have not done that in a long time. I got so angry I braided my hair which I DO NOT DO because I hate doing it by myself.
I want to settle to enjoy things. I have bee-brain. I cannot work on anything even though I want to.
The bees need to be sleep-smoked. I am not a pot smoker because i can't smoke and I am so anxious anyway that I am afraid of what getting the wrong strain would do to me. I don't need more panic attacks thank you very much.
The bees still need to be sleep-smoked. I'm out of chamomile, dammit.
Going to pop the noise-cancelling headphones on, pretend the touch isn't making me wanna turn inside out, and turn on the first lofi thing I can find on Freetube, so I won't get any ads that'll jumpscare me. See if that works.
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arcadian-vampire · 2 years
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Just jumpscared myself SO bad while drawing, holy shit
I moved the character's pupils so they were looking off to the side instead of directly at the viewer, and shortly after that I was working on a difficult line and hit undo a few too many times
I was minding my business when the character's pupils just suddenly snapped over at me
Horrifying experience 0/10
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