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shadow-the-crow · 15 days

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I think i finally understand how the Distortion works. I mean, i don’t think it’s possible to ever fully understand it, and i don’t know the whole picture yet because i don’t know what Helen will be like, but i feel like i’ve just been granted a glimpse at the lovecraftian (as in ineffable) thing that is this being.

It’s not a person and a creature fighting inside one mind. There’s no Michael clawing himself to the surface to express his emotions and get his revenge.

Michael Shelley is dead. The Distortion became Michael. It sounds so simple, yet a least in my opinion it’s hard to fully understand.

I think what provides the best metaphor is a small thing the Distortion says after becoming Helen: "without a proper mind." The Distortion does not have its own mind. It’s only a what, but in order to really exist in this reality, it needs a who. It needs a body, but also a mind.

So if i understand this right, it’s like this: Michael Shelley is dead. His conciousness is not there anymore. And the Distortion got forced into that mind, an empty mind of a dead person. This doesn’t make it human, it’s still able to understand the impossible, it’s still the thing that was created to scare and kill. But in the mind it’s living in… the previous owner’s furniture is still there. It gets the dead person’s memories. It becomes Michael, in the sense that it has to be someone. Its existence got tied to being Michael, although Michael Shelley is dead.

When Michael got "emotional", that wasn’t Michael Shelley coming through. It was the Distortion grappling with the side effects of being someone - of living in a mind with all the memories and the human emotions that a human mind can’t fully turn off, even when the thing inhabiting it isn’t human at all.

The Distortion was Michael in the sense that it was thinking with Michael Shelley’s mind. When it became Helen, its consciousness, its being stayed the same, but it needed to adapt to this new mind. It could see clearer now, realizing that the windows of the previous house had been dirty, realizing that the wirings of the previous mind had driven it to do something that it actually didn’t want to do. The throat of the Spiral itself getting caught in the spiralling of its own, borrowed mind.

#here comes the first michael essay #this is only the start #i've still got so many more thoughts #i hope this makes sense #idk why but i think i get how the distortion feels #being forced to be someone who isn't you at all #like - it doesn't make sense but i get it??#okay i haven't watched doctor who but maybe it's kinda like being the doctor?#you kinda change personality and become someone else but your true being stays the same?#(as if anyone of us knew what it's like being the doctor any more than we know what it's like being the distortion lol)#tma #michael distortion #tma the distortion #helen distortion #the magnus archives #tma podcast #tma spoilers #tma thoughts #mag 101 #another twist #michael shelley #i just realized i've probably spelled michael wrong in the tags before oops (i know how it's spelled but “micheal” keeps popping up so...)#you know what i'm gonna put the wrong version too for reach #micheal distortion

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adhdtsukasa · 20 days

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i love every relationship in wxs, obviously, they're frequently bought together do not separate and i can't imagine looking at them without acknowledging that they were all equally important im each other's development, but if i had to pick my favorite, then it would be emukasa. wihout doubt. there is something special about emukasa that makes me slam my head onto wall everyday

not even in a shipping sense, i don't even quite literally ship them outside of polysho — i just think that their friendship is something so precious, a special thing that needs to be hold gently, or else it makes my heart ache. they care for each other. all of wxs do, and this is a fact. but when i think about how emu and tsukasa do so, it stings even more.

the way they started as a weird girl and a boy who tries his best to not lose his shit (or break his spine, according to the main story animation. yes i still think about it on daily basis) dealing with her — and the way they're best friends now, laughing together, crying together, getting mad togther. the way emu was so scared of tsukasa leaving her in amidst a dream, but still wished to support his dreams, because he matters to her so much. the way they were both crying and making fun of each other for it in our happy ending, so the other wouldn't feel so sad. the way it's tsukasa who invites emu to start a new story together in kirapipi★kirapika, just like she has invited him to their first one, to forming wxs together. all these details and moments in their relationship, revealing the bond that they've created.

yes, there are wxs ships i like better, but none of them just hits the way emukasa does. i don't want them to be kissing. i just want them to hold hands and keep on being best friends together, making me cry over them everday.

idk man i just think that everyone should think about emukasa sometimes

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #emukasa #kasaemu #ri says things the tag #this is another of the posts that serve no purpose besides me wanting to cry about my favs. bear with me.#retag because i just realized i spelled it wrong.#also #tsukasa tenma #tsukaemu #i just remembered how their shipname is called in reverse LOL

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goldensunset · 7 months

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everyone told me she was terrifying but they didn’t tell me she was so cool and nice

#blacked out and woke up with this in front of me hi. may my ten thousand unfinished older wips forgive me #champion cynthia #cynthia #pokemon cynthia #pokémon cynthia #pokémon #pokemon #dppt #diamond and pearl #oh i am absolutely not tagging all those. God bless 🙏#platinum gang here. i am 14 years late to this party hello #i meant to begin the sv dlc tonight but i got sidetracked again lol #gotta tie up loose ends on one game playthrough before doing another #have i really completed a game if i haven’t made any celebratory artwork? i think not.#anyway this game was very cool and charming and i adore how they pushed the limits of the DS with regards to art and animation #and i’m glad bc now i get to appreciate my beloved pla in a different way :-D #my art #i’m in my no backgrounds no peer review no bothering to color lines era again i guess. lol whatevs i’m happy something is finally dooonnnee #nomura has until the tokyo game show to prove himself and give us kh crumbs or else i might make this my new icon #i. just last-minute flipped this bc i realized the bang was on the wrong side dsgxjxjzk #i flip back and forth a lot while drawing to keep my perspective fresh and sometimes i forget to flip back to the right side #bc usually it does not matter

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delicate-little-honeysuckle · 3 months

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Something something "the episode of Midnight Burger where only half of the people could see the world-killer asteroid coming towards earth while the other half couldn't", something something "only half of the main characters being able to pronounce Leif's name correctly while the other half had NO idea and could not be corrected".... There's something about the signs being there all along of damage to the fabric of space time....

#midnight burger #does this make sense? am I making sense?#I'm in the middle of the worldkiller ep so maybe I'm wrong about this but like. I hope I'm not!#I started tearing up realizing this bc I love foreshadowing esp the sad kind with all my heart #and I love this podcast! like holy shit if there's anywhere to buy transcripts I will but I'll just print the transcripts at some point lol #midnight burger gloria #midnight burger leif #midnight burger caspar #midnight burger ava #effie mucklewain #zebulon mucklewain #midnight burger podcast #just covering my bases with the tags

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herrscherofmagic · 5 months

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A look at the past & future of Honkai design: Simplicity vs. Complexity (Part 1)

Link to the YouTube channel of the person whose thumbnail I yoinked off of Google Images for this; it was the best image of the new Hyperion that I could easily find which is why I used it for this.

TL;DR:

Original Honkai Impact 3rd designs tended towards large, simply shapes that gave battlesuits (and other stuff) a strong "mecha" vibe. Many newer designs are trending towards more complex designs that do away with these simple and recognizable shapes, instead using more overlapping textures and ornamentation to create detail. Some designs balance the two, using large and relatively simple shapes that still carry enough detail to stand out as newer while still keeping the original vibes.

Because of this, I think there's gonna be a very clear visual split between Part 1 designs and the APHO+Part 2 designs because of this split between simplicity & complexity, and some Part 1 designs feel off because they stray too far from the original design motifs, making them feel out of place even if they're still good designs on their own.

I've been thinking a lot about the design philosophy of Honkai Impact 3rd for quite a while now. As someone interested in concept art and illustration and who's played video games for more than 3/4ths of their whole lifespan.

And obviously I'm not alone in this, given how often I've seen discussion of Honkai's character design. Whether it was the march of the pastel battlesuits or the techwear of the part 2 cast or the upcoming Garuda Fu Hua battlesuit, many people have had many opinions both positive and negative.

But I've wanted to do a sort of "deep-dive" for a while now, because I think HI3rd is a really interesting case where we can see the co-existence of (sometimes drastically) different designs made years apart from one another. It's normal for the style of a franchise to grow and change with time- my personal example is Halo, with obvious differences between Halo CE, Halo 3, and Halo 4 in mind. But typically that has been done over the release of different games over many years, not so much in consecutive releases within the same game. HI3rd's not alone in this regard, of course :)

I don't want to label anything as "bad" or "good". I can like or dislike something, and that's my personal opinion. Of course I COULD try to label designs as bad or good, but I'd want to back that up with serious analysis and get the opinions of other players, and that's way too much effort for a reddit post. Instead, I want to present some different designs in Honkai and share my thoughts, so others can feel free to agree, disagree, elaborate, etc. More of a matter of casual discussion rather than trying to present some solid theory, I guess you could say?

What I will say is I intend to label designs based on whether (or how) they fit into HI3rd's aesthetic(s), so that's the main point- not so much whether an individual design is good or not.

To start with, I'd like to talk about the simplicity vs. complexity of Honkai designs because I personally feel like this is the biggest problem I have with HI3rd, outside of story issues that is. Not because of designs being "good" or "bad", but because I feel like Mihoyo has been moving towards a new design philosophy that's different from what I loved most about HI3rd when I first started.

I opened with the comparison of Hyperion because I think it's a perfect example of this concept, and if we can understand what the difference is with Hyperion then I think it'd be more apparent with battlesuits as well. I also have another image that highlights some of the biggest differences between the two models:

I had mixed feelings about the reveal of the "new and upgraded" Hyperion during the moon arc. It's a neat design I'll admit, but I felt like it deviated a lot from the original Hyperion, not as a difference in fidelity and detail but rather as a difference in the fundamental design of the ship.

What I like so much about the original Hyperion is, as you might have guessed by now: its simplicity. Hyperion was comprised of much larger, blockier shapes with more clear silhouettes. It's actually the same reason I love the design of Halo's UNSC frigates, funnily enough. I'm a huge sci-fi fan and I absolutely adore spacecraft and vehicle design, so I really appreciated the design of Hyperion cause to me it felt very original.

The new Hyperion retains most of the same characteristics, and it's still recognizable as a version of Hyperion. But it bothers me just how much the design was changed. Many of the simple shapes of the design were broken up into smaller parts or almost totally changed, like the cannon going from a sleek polygonal barrel to a spikey... thing.

To me, it feels like Hyperion was redesigned with the idea of trying to make it more "futuristic" or "tech-y", or perhaps it was even designed with some retro anime motifs in mind like the Space Battleship Yamato. But it seems as though this was done by adding many objects that broke up the original silhouette, as well as inventing lots of new detail instead of adding details to complement what was already there. The shape of the winglets was greatly changed; the vent-like structures were totally changed; the barrel was completely changed; most noticeably, the bridge was drastically changed.

The new Hyperion model is technically "better" in terms of fidelity and the amount of detail it has, no doubt about it. But I think changing the fundamental shapes of Hyperion so much really hurts the charm of the original design, to the point that I was actually quite disappointed to see that Mihoyo used the new Hyperion design in the CG of the Captainverse Hyperion farm event. It seems as though Mihoyo wants to consider this as the new default impression of Hyperion, and not a special one-off thing from the moon arc.

I think this can be seen across other aspects of the game, too. In general Mihoyo has moved away from simple designs and towards complex designs, and I think there's been a lot of hits and a lot of misses with this.

For instance, I'd like to compare the three Herrscher Kiana battlesuits: HoV, HoFS, and HoFi.

There's a clear trend of an increase in complexity across the three battlesuits. HoV's design uses fewer and larger shapes, HoFS adds more and smaller shapes, and then HoFi is almost totally devoid of any large clear shapes.

To me, this is what distinguishes a battlesuit that "feels like Honkai" from one that doesn't.

Everyone starts the game in Chapter 1, and most long-time players have spent more time with older battlesuits than newer ones simply because they were playing the game before these newer battlesuits were even released. I think it's safe to say that even though HoFi is the grand "Kiana in her greatest form" battlesuit, most players will still have seen HoV's design more often because of the years that it's been around, and its prevalence in story content.

Most of those older designs were rooted more heavily in the mecha vibes early Honkai had. For instance, even though HoV is obviously not wearing a mecha battlesuit, the large blocky shapes are still reminiscent of armor, two examples being the large frames on her wings and the large white pad-things(?) on her sides. There's other obvious cases like White Comet being a skin-tight battlesuit which used glowy energy bits for its attacks, but I use the example of HoV because it shows that HI3rd was fully capable of creating battlesuits within the mecha theme without being limited to literal "mecha" designs. HoV's battlesuit is far from mecha in its nature, yet still fits perfectly with that aesthetic.

HoFi has pretty much none of that, though. It's a pretty design for sure, but it's also nearly completely divorced from that original aesthetic. There's few easily-recognizable shapes on her design, with the (very little) clothing she wears being almost entirely detail and ornamentation. It definitely fits the "Princess Kiana" or "Goddess Kiana" theme in isolation, but I don't think it delivers on that theme in the context of Honkai Impact 3rd.

Yet look at HoFS. HoFS definitely has more detail than HoV. Yet there are still lots of large blank areas that define clear forms; for instance, the armor on HoFS' waist. It's reminiscent of that of HoV while still adding more detail. This gives that same effect of a slight mecha vibe. It's still an appealing design and it still feels more modern than HoV, but it also manages to retain much of the same design language.

That being said, I have to admit I ADORE the Honkai wings that HoFi has, though I wish they were a little higher in the air. That's one thing that I think Mihoyo absolutely nailed with HoFi, and I wish more of that aesthetic was kept in the rest of her design.

What's also interesting is that (in my opinion) neither of the other two main Herrscher Trio designs suffer from this. For instance, consider Mei's battlesuits:

I've included Lighting Empress as a reminder that old =/= good. I'd like to make it clear that just because it's an "original" battlesuit doesn't mean it's a good one. I said before that I didn't want to label stuff as good or bad but this is a clear exception and I hope y'all can understand why, lol

We can certainly argue about whether HoO Mei's design really fits the image of Raiden Mei. It's a vast departure from her other battlesuits when it comes to her palette, for better or for worse. I didn't like it at first but it has grown on me, and I think part of that is because of that concept of simplicity vs. complexity.

HoO has way, way more detail than the other two Herrscher Mei battlesuits, no doubt about it. But it also retains many large and recognizable shapes. Nothing on this battlesuit is bulky like HoT or other older battlesuits, but it still gives off the feeling of being armor despite being so thin. Much of the detail is created not by overlapping layers of ornamentation and texture, but rather by using intricate shapes with clear silhouettes and light detail inside that outline.

And HoTr is obviously a mecha design, so I don't think we need to elaborate on that one :)

The point is that it's absolutely possible to make detailed and beautiful battlesuits without getting rid of the original shape language that HI3rd was built on. HoFS is a bit dated now but still much newer than HoV, yet it keeps the vibes. HoO is also far newer, yet it still fits the theme of battlesuit. HoFi, though... not so much.

Finally, I want to talk about the elephant in the room: the Part 2 character designs.

Once again, here's the link to the YouTube video by Matt Is Playing, where I pulled this image from!

Much like HoFi, there's very little trace of the OG Honkai mecha aesthetic in these battlesuits. It's not to say that they are inherently bad because of that* , but it doesn't quite feel like "Honkai Impact 3rd".

*except Dream Seeker, I'm sorry but what the heck is going on there???

But the thing is that this design philosophy isn't even new. In fact, it's years old by now... because we see this in APHO.

For a long time now, APHO has had battlesuits that tip-toe on the very edge of the original Honkai aesthetic. So the designs of Part 2 aren't actually some new and drastic shift in Mihoyo's design philosophy- rather, it's reinforcing a design philosophy that was introduced with APHO.

These new characters all feel out of place if we compare them to the original battlesuits. They don't use the same simple forms, instead using dense and overlapping details. But if we compare them to the APHO cast, they fit right in. We can argue about the merits of the new character designs in other terms, but I think these discussions have to keep in mind this context.

I'd say the APHO designs work well in the setting of APHO because they're following the same aesthetic. As we enter Part 2 and once we see more of the story and setting of Part 2, it's very possible that these new character designs will feel more natural and more like "Honkai Impact 3rd".

But it's a different Honkai Impact 3rd.

This is why I think the idea of "simplicity vs. complexity" is so important to understanding Honkai Impact 3rd's designs. I think Mihoyo might be trying to emphasize two different phases of Honkai through this design philosophy. These are going to be two very different halves to the same game, with the designs of Part 2 possibly becoming as distant from Part 1's designs as Part 1 is from HSR.

You have the OG mecha action vibes from the good ole St. Freya days, and we have the sleek tech-wear of the era of exploring Mars, world-hopping in the Sea of Quanta, and fighting literal aliens.

For better or for worse? Only time will tell.

As a bonus, I'd like to include some extra comparisons, though I won't be adding any more analysis. It's more about having extra examples to keep in mind. Also, I think these ideas can apply to enemies and weapons as well, but that's a larger discussion I'm not yet ready for so that will come in a follow-up later on!

#honkai impact 3rd #hi3rd #honkai 3rd #honkai #honkai discussion #as if that's even a tag people use lol #long post #Kiana Kaslana #Raiden Mei #Bronya Zaychik #i just realized after posting this that I used the wrong image for stygian nymph jgkldaflhflhadfhagh too late to change it now!

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bottombaron · 10 months

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I'm starting to wonder if there is actually something legit about the 'right time' to turn Guillermo that Nandor keeps talking about...

It was brought up again in the premiere and something about how Guillermo said that "deep down I'm not ready [to become a vampire]" before Derek jumped him...

...what if Nandor hasn't actually been putting it off for no reason...what if there is actually a 'right moment' for it and this whole time we were thinking that moment had to do with Nandor being ready but what if it's about Guillermo being ready??

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #also my last post didnt show in the tags wtf now i have to do it again #i have so many Thoughts about s5 that im kind of overwhelmed tbh lol #also also...Nandor waiting for the right time...like...what if he actually really wants to turn Guillermo too #but hes afraid he'll get it wrong or its never at that moment...#what if it has to do with Guillermo's well being and the place hes at mentally and emotionally #and at the end of s3 he showed how he could be strong and self reliant and stand up for himself so Nandor was going to do it #but humans aren't static (but vampires are???) and all Guillermo's insecurity bubbled up again and now Nandor's got to wait again #BUT ALSO??? I JUST REALIZED THAT I DONT REMEMBER GUILLERMO EVEN ASKING NANDOR AGAIN PRE GOING TO DEREK #NANDORS GOING TO BE LIKE EXTRA BETRAYED BECAUSE HE DIDNT EVEN REJECT GUILLERMO BEFORE HE WENT TO SOMEONE ELSE???#...i told you i have a lot of thoughts...

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ladyorlandodream · 1 year

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Loving the fact that Sheryl still didn't get the name of her character right 😅😅😅

#barbara howard #abbott elementary #no it is not a typo #she keeps writing barbra #love her #sheryl lee ralph #i just realized a wrong tag lol

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blubble-lake · 6 months

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it's been over 2 weeks and this thing (unfortunately) still has a grip on me

#rant in the tags coming so please do scroll away if you enjoyed the finale 🙏#you know how with some things you'll be like 'I had some negativity towards this thing but--#now that it's been some time I feel better towards it'?#my thoughts on the finale have only gotten worse since it released 🥲#being given more time to think on it made me notice more things I had wrong with it #like I really wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt but it is so difficult #when I tried ranking the episodes from best to least favorite #I'd come to realize that I couldn't put either finale episode above the other for the bottom two #they both gave me the same feeling of being doused in ooze 😭#I've written a good handful more thoughts on why I disliked it since the last rundown I had posted #though I'm afraid if talking about this is considered cringe or old news now that it's been a minute since the eps came out lol #I've watched the finale in full two times just to take everything in but I don't think I can do it again anytime soon #I think there's about 8-10 mins of the finale that I genuinely enjoyed #the rest making me want to cry in disappointment or was just 'okay' to me #just gotta 'it is what it is' my way through knowing the show ended like That. we stay silly!#however- writing about it does give me a little bit of relief lol #adventure time #at #fionna and cake #petrigrof #simon petrikov #betty grof #my post #my art

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dishsaop · 21 days

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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic #im just like. tired of gnawing #and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get #content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky #young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me #im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances #m text #i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story #not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a #lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out #bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples #and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified #(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here #(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein #out as lesbian #like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has #to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just #and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so #yknow. personal viewer bias here #but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian #and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out #but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes #I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'

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egoisticfreak · 1 year

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youtube

what the scallop!

#cccc #chonny jash #cj heart #cj mind #cj soul #for one fuckin second lol #i just realized heart;s heart is on the wrong side #imma pretend that was intentional.#corvid art tag

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hummingbird-games · 3 months

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this sounds extremely fatalistic and especially insane to say during BHM from yours truly, but I'm spiraling and looking at data and the state of the world (& my country specifically) and the stories I want to tell and the people who stories are centered and...

I don't think I ever want to charge money for my games. ever. they'll be free for the unforeseen future because I'm not tanking my health further by stressing out over what hateful, racist, insane players think. I'm already catching strays from trying to have f!MC protagonists??? can you unpack why that makes you wanna lash out and be nasty?? but preferably with someone else that's not me.

people talk such a big game about diversity and being inclusive and listening to Black voices and then turn around do the exact opposite. every single time.

ugh, I have a queued post going up...tomorrow?? that's a reblog from last year, but a warning: I was a very different person with a very different well of energy when I wrote it and when I scheduled that reblog.

#gamedev rambles #I...just wanna tell stories #and experience others' stories #but putting a price tag on me #even when I'm putting in work??#it's so clear what players want (and don't want)#and Crushed did pretty well with a majority Black cast #but it's a BL so I wonder if that cushioned it's fall??#HSD:JY has more scrapes and bruises from the general public (and I try to focus on the positive feedback but like. damn)#and so with The Knight Dance I'm actually scared #because it's an all black cast AND it's sapphic and those are 2 things I discovered a while ago that don't hold ppl's attention #or it does hold attention but the wrong kind #lol does any of this make any sense??#I'm not going to stop making games or being a part of this community #but I am going to shuffle my feet more lol #LOL ramblings brought to you by 1) discord and 2) realizing I effing hate programming and need to find a way to pay someone to #do it moving forward. so. almost zero correlation

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daz4i · 3 months

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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

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reverieaudios · 3 months

Note

While we’re on the topic of Fausten(?) and Reuben.. How do they like their new custom cabinetry from Riparian woodworks? 👀

I imagine they're pleased with the result, Desmond and Law are very detail oriented and don't stand for shoddy work

Maybe they even got an approving nod from Faustin

#asks #reuben #faustin #reverie audios #idk if Cyril's even seen the new cabinetry lol #also I just realized I accidentally spelled Faustin's name wrong in the tag on the last ask oops lmao

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whumble-beeee · 8 months

Text

Whumptember 2023, Day 5

“What do you want me to do?”

Owed a favor | Whispered conversation | Sneaking around

The Bee’s Whumptember Masterlist

CW: alcohol, mentioned kidnapping, mentioned potential character death, mentioned gun

Continued HERE

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Caretaker’s eyes shifted warily as they scaled the walls of the enemy base, rope burning in their hands and they hauled themself up, one after the other. This would all be for nothing if they got caught. Less than nothing. They wouldn’t be of any use to Youngest if they were captured, and that was on top of the agony they’d have to endure at the hands of Villain and the rest of their team if they were captured. So don’t get caught, Leader had reasoned. As if it were that simple. As if that weren’t the most obvious thing in the world. But Leader believed in them, and Youngest needed them, so here they were, freezing their ass off on the wind- and snow-swept window ledge of their most formidable foe, praying to God that they could plead well enough to the only person who could truly help save Youngest’s life.

They pressed their hand into the glass, using the friction and sticking frost to pull open the suspiciously unlocked window. No time to dwell on that, Caretaker supposed. They dove in through the small gap and landed into a silent forward roll across the hardwood floor, only to immediately be greeted by the sound of a glass shattering as it was dropped by shocked hands, followed by a long string of curses as the dropper of the glass stared at Caretaker with abject horror.

“Caretaker–” Spy hissed. “What in the actual fuck are–”

A soft knock at the door. “Medic? Everything alright?” Villain called.

Spy glared at Caretaker, commanding them to hide with a sharp nod that even Leader themself wouldn’t question. Caretaker looked around frantically, before spotting a lovely little wooden wardrobe. That’d do.

“Yeah, everything’s– great,” Spy yelled back, speech slurred. “Jus’… dropped the whiskey bottle. Just a little. Probably too much to drink– Imma gonna… gonna… jus’ clean this up an’ head to bed…”

The door creaked open. “You need–”

“Don’t come in!” Spy leaped over to the door and slammed it shut with their full body, back pressed into the painted wood. “I’m not decent!”

A pause. Caretaker bit their lip inside the wardrobe, cursing themself for not choosing any better hiding spot. The door couldn’t even close all the way!

“...alright then.” Villain’s voice finally came through the door, taken aback. “You’re a very strange drunk, Medic… I’ll leave you to it, just put on some clothes before you deal with the glass, yes?”

Spy groaned dramatically, as if Villain had just asked them to egg the neighbor kid’s house. “--fffffff-ine…”

“Thanks. No pity if you’re hungover tomorrow, yeah? Drink some water and get to bed.” Villain knocked on the door twice in lieu of a farewell, and footsteps could be heard creaking down on the hardwood floors, slowly getting quieter as Villain walked away.

Spy slammed open the doors of the wardrobe, very clothed and very sober. “You better have an amazing explanation for this, Caretaker,” they whispered with enough venom to knock out an elephant. They yanked Caretaker out and picked up a towel from where they had just been sitting, turning on their heels toward the broken glass. “Amazing, perfect, justifiable, and totally not insane reason for almost blowing my cover and getting the both of us killed.”

“They have Youngest,” Caretaker whispered urgently, grabbing another piece of fabric at random and following closely behind Spy. Spy didn’t even flinch as they threw their own towel widely over the glass and started collecting it all into the thick cloth.

“Okay. And?”

“That’s all you have to say?!” Caretaker hissed, soaking up the spill with what they now realized was an old t-shirt. “No ‘where?,’ no ‘are they alive?,’ no ‘how can I help save my teammate from being tortured to death?’...”

“What do you want me to do?” Spy finished placing all of the glass into the towel, then trudged to the other side of the room and threw the entire thing away.

“Not sure if you noticed, Caretaker, but they think I work for them. And they need to continue thinking that I work for them until I can finish my directive,” Spy nudged Caretaker out of the way with their foot, kneeling down beside them and finishing the job of drying the spill themself. “And helping one of our captives escape is a wonderful way to make sure all my hard work goes straight down the toilet. Then you’ll have two captives that need saving–” They threw the now alcohol-soaked t-shirt into the hamper across the room.

“--If they don’t put a bullet in my head right there and then.”

“I’m not asking you to save them, idiot,” Caretaker said through gritted teeth. “Just… keep an eye on them, please? You’re their medic. Maybe say they’ve had enough early if the team is torturing them, or, or keep them in the med bay for as long as possible with an unknown illness, or discredit any information they give, or misdiagnose their power so Villain underestimates them, and don’t shoot them if you have the chance to, and on that note, don't let Villain kill them. Just–...” They waved their hands around in front of them frantically, pleading.

“Do something. Don’t just stand by and watch, and for the love of God, don’t join in. Please.”

Spy stared at Caretaker for a long time, face excruciatingly unreadable. “I acknowledge your request for me to help Youngest. Now get the fuck out.” Spy grabbed the collar of Caretaker's shirt and shoved them toward the open window.

“Is that a yes?”

Spy spun Caretaker around to unequivocally ask if they were purposefully trying to kill them, only to find Caretaker's hopelessly worried puppy-dog eyes staring back at them. Always with the puppy-dog eyes. They threw their head back with a groan, fingers pinching the bridge of their nose.

“That’s an ‘I’ll do what I can without compromising my mission.’” Spy stated. “Now leave. I can’t have you getting hurt too.”

Caretaker let out a sigh of relief as they leaped up onto the window ledge. They crouched down to fiddle with the rope. “Thank you, Spy. Seriously, it means a lot." Caretaker stared down into the frozen white dust-filled abyss below them. "See you later. I missed you.”

Spy’s shoulders sagged a little. “I missed you too. Send my regards to the team.”

“Will do.” Caretaker saluted to Spy. They pulled on their repelling rope to make sure it was secure, and they were just about to swing back out, when–

“Oh, and Caretaker?” Spy called out from behind them.

“Ye–” Caretaker turned around, but before they could react, Spy reached up and yanked their head downward by the back of the neck, desperately shoving their lips onto theirs. Caretaker almost pulled back from the shock and force of it, only before fully closing their eyes and leaning down harder into the kiss. Caretaker's breath shuddered hot on Spy’s face as their hand grasped at the back of Spy’s head, the other pulling them in tighter from the spot it found nestled in the arch of their back, holding Spy ever closer so the moment never had to end.

Spy finally pulled back and gazed into Caretaker’s eyes, breathless. “Don’t get caught.”

“I could say the same to you,” Caretaker chuckled lowly. “Please.”

Spy scoffed and rolled their eyes, pushing Caretaker's chest lightly. “I won’t.”

Caretaker stood and backed up to the very edge of the ledge, grinning from ear to ear. “See you on the other side, Spy.” They grabbed the remaining slack of their rope and vaulted backward off the edge of the windowsill, pumping their fists and grinning like a 5-year-old at a birthday party.

“That we will,” Spy muttered. They poured themself another glass of whiskey, a real one this time, as they gazed at the spot where Caretaker disappeared.

“One way or the other…”

@whumptember

#whumptember2023 #whumptember day 5 #day five: what do you want me to do #day five: whispered conversation #day five: sneaking around #whump #whump scenario #whump writing #team whump #caretaker #writeblr #just realized i tagged this and day 6 wrong for the whumptember 2023 tag #im a fkn idiot #this one is so good too!#fixed now tho #so hopefully it still gets reblogged on the official blog #hoping and praying and crying for it lol #wouldnt blame them for not reblogging day 6 tho that ones a TRIP

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