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#kermit commits
snufkins-boot · 15 days
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Book accurate Frankenstein movie but it’s a muppets movie
Gonzo is Frankenstein
Kermit is the monster
Miss piggy is the bride
Rizzo is Henry
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divorce-enjoyer · 6 months
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standing in the corner with a solo cup of flat pepsi in one hand watching the back and forth on izzy discourse but not contributing because i dont know how to say that izzys like. a muppet antagonist to me.
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marco: i thought i'd help plan the next mission. look.
jake: *reads* "get up. do disgusting things. be legends. flirt with death to save the world. go home if still alive. watch tv with dad."
jake:
jake: you leave nothing to chance, do you?
marco: trust me.
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hmm-paper-clip · 1 year
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who let this guy in
additional huey bc he looks so funny
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emmikoochaitea · 5 months
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guys I’m fine..
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bitbrumal · 1 year
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DILUC  & softly, painfully--
      “no.”
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elbowreveal · 2 years
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No art again because of the frog crimes
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summerof336bc · 2 years
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cb broadway 1989 on my mind ....
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sleepyagent · 2 months
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I dont have commitment issues. Id commit in a heartbeat
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miss piggy and kermit for fucked up ship bingo. do it.
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It's like you thought I would hesitate
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rexcaliburechoes · 7 months
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we love colour coded assignments
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problemsynth · 9 months
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the brain is doing the thing. the brain is doing the thing. the brain is doing the thing. the brain is doing the thing. the brain is doing the thing. the brain is doing the thing. the brain is doing the thing. the brain is doing the thing.
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thoughts-reasons · 2 years
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Twitter | YouTube
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terrorizings · 12 days
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hey i just fell down one of the most bizarre rabbit holes i’ve ever fallen down that began with a tiktok ai reading an r/amitheasshole reddit post and ended with whatever this puppet sex homestuck arg (?) was. Having spent the last two full hours absolutely enraptured with this series of blogs, i was wondering if anyone involved in this bro strider muppet nonsense knows @the-muppet-joker or who’s behind that account, or if he’s just an unrelated guy that just so happened to frequently reblog and interact with the 6 of you guys. I have significant reason to believe that blog is another elaborate bit (as it’s the reason i got here) so it would be really fucking funny if whoever runs that account (be they genuine or not) just so happened to stumble upon your shitposts while searching for horny muppet posts and started reblogging then. either way props to you for doing all of this and good luck on whatever daisy brown alantutorial shit you wind up making next because you are all definitely going places. sending this ask to all of you individually btw.
I think I may have been the first of the blogs to get interacted with by the muppet joker, as I received an ask from him relatively early into my blogs tenure and simply let it steep until the other folk started hitting his line and interacting with him. That being said!
No fucking clue who that dude is.
I assumed it was all a very elaborate bit since it's all within the same realm of internet-referencing (particularly, tumblr related internet-referencing in the realm of making wide gestures towards things like tumblr sexymen and error sans from error(??) undertale) bullhockey as every ambitious blog parodying weird fetishes. In combination with his interests being specifically two bastions of internet memes, the joker and kermit the frog, I think he's just a guy who's really committed to the bit.
That also being said.
I got an ask saying he'd gone crazy and was actually doing crazy shit, so. I don't know! Maybe he is just a genuine guy. But I sure don't know who he is and he sure didn't have anything to do with my stuff.
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sunshine-in-a-bottle · 4 months
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SUDSPOTS RECOMMENDS DREAM-CENTRIC FICS: PART ONE MAYBE
Sorted by shipping because I'm a multishipper.
Its about the PASSION its about the INTRICACIES its about the EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION.
If a fic you like isn't on here I demand you make your own recommendations post so I can reblog it and then we ALL must go insane. You Understand? You understand. Lets fucking go, lets LOVE THE PEOPLE IN THIS COMMUNITY RIGHT NOW AND TELL THEM WHAT GOOD FUCKING WRITERS THEY ARE
DESCEND INTO MADNESS. ITS FOR THE GREATER GOOD.
DRUNZ WORKS BELOW
-non-explicit fics section-
our eternal love by janies_not_here. (Rated T)
Punz and Dream being in love and their last few moments together before the destruction of the server.
Personal thoughts: I love them. I would die for them. I care them so much.
Suffering by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)
“I,” Punz repeats, “am doing this one. You did lung removal, I’ll do heart.” They look at Dream squarely, determined, though their eyes are tight around the edges. No one likes dying, but they both know how important it is to know.
Personal thoughts: how to murder me emotionally. Its about the Intricacies its about the Unethical Science Murder Experiments.
science for sweethearts by silversandstone. (Rated T)
“His name is Punz?” “Yeah.” “I know him!” Sapnap exclaims, and he sounds entirely too excited for Dream’s liking. “He’s on the basketball team with me. Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes? Looks a little bit like he got thrown in the laundry by accident?” “He’s pretty,” Dream agrees miserably.
Personal thoughts: I am always a slut for modern AUs. I am bapping them with my little paws. Please kiss.
with arms unfolding by silversandstone. (Rated T) (series)
but here i am with arms unfolding i guess it isn't quite the end old partner in crime i'm going to try to fall in love with you again
Personal thoughts: PUNZ FINDING OUT ABOUT THE TORTURE. YESGOODPERFECT. THEM CARING ABOUT EACH OTHER. AAAAA
c!drunz living happily ever after by theendpoem. (Rated T) (series)
c!drunz headcanon written into short stories that follow them running away from the smp together and living happily ever after in a cabin
Personal thoughts: exactly what it says on the tin. I am a feral cat biting it biting it biting it
deadlines and commitments by sunnyscribe. (Rated G)
Dream doesn't know what he's looking for, but he finds it in Punz.
Personal thoughts: please imagine that gif of kermit spinning in a water fountain. They're taking a little nap together. They are in love.
i hope i don’t murder me, i hope i don’t burden you by nightdaydream. (Rated T)
Dream is dangerous, an enigma of a man. “So, what do you say?” Roses bloom in Punz’s lungs. They take a breath, choke them down, and return the grin that they’re sure Dream wears beneath his mask. “I’m in.” aka. punz suffers through hanahaki. it gets a lot worse before it gets better.
Personal notes: FUCK OFFFFFFFFF<=== is personally very emotional. Don't perceive me.
by his side where he belongs by ammizukii. (Rated T)
c!Dream shyfully proposes to c!Punz.
Personal notes: oh.
Just A Dip by Icechild. (Rated G)
It was meant to be just be a bath. It was supposed to be refreshing, healing, calming. It wasn't supposed to be Punz watching Dream pant and groan in pain. It wasn't supposed to end up with them realizing a blade was poisoned after it was too late. OR Punz and Dream have a bath time after a fight with the SMP and take care of each other and things go a little south.
Personal notes: I am eating concrete. I am throwing things. ITS ABOUT THE TRUST AND LOVE AND FEAR AND
love, like death, hath all destroyed by dumbgirlfriend (thelightwoods). (Rated T)
Punz and Dream have a quiet last meal before the end of the world, and Punz wants him.
Personal notes: dies a death (x40) hahahaha I love them what the fuck...
Steam by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)
There’s something almost ritualistic in the way Punz lathers soap onto Dream’s skin, their touch gentle but firm as they thumb at his flesh, their clipped nails dragging a little across his too-thin skin, careful not to worry at scabs or sores, but touching them anyway, keeping them clean. --- Or: post-Pandora, Dream's physical state is a bit too fragile for him to be able to bathe alone. Enter, stage left, Punz.
Personal notes: you think I'm normal right now but I'm actually clawing at the bars of my cage. Let me out I won't bite.
red slush and citrus shampoo by shamefulfroggos. (Rated T)
“Okay.” The two sit in silence for a few more beats before Punz drops his hand down to twist the keys and coax the engine back to life. It rumbles, faintly, and Dream watches from the corner of his eye as Punz puts the car in reverse and brings his arm up, his hand gripping the shoulder of Dream’s seat. His head turns so he can look through the back window as he pulls the car out of the parking space he turned into mere minutes ago. Dream tries not to stare. He doesn’t try very hard. -------------- or Dream has been in love with Punz for too long, Sapnap and George are tired of his shit, and Punz is a cinnamon roll who is trying to convey his feelings but failing
Personal notes: hnnnnnnn I'm gonna be honest with you I reread these fics before I put them on this post and this is making me go insane. They're so fucking in love shut the fuck upp
Not to Me, Not If It’s You by ranababamboo. (Rated T)
“Stop fussing over me.” “I will when your fever breaks,” they replied. They gestured to the stew, untouched aside from the near-spill. “Should eat that before it goes cold.” Dream rolled his eyes at the nagging. “What, gonna sit here and watch me until I do?” Punz merely raised an eyebrow. “...you’re the worst.” ——— Stubborn refusal of injury won’t slide in this household.
Personal notes: I hate them (I love them so much I am actively dying)
even when it’s raining by navyhurricane. (Rated T)
“You want to dance—” “In the rain,” Punz finishes for him, almost in a rush as though the idea has him breathless already. “C’mon, you can’t say that you have never in your life thought of it before.” Dream shakes his head softly. “Can’t say it’s high on my bucket list.”
For ruined plans and an opportunity saved, Dream has never known a love as soft as this; he knows that while he needs Punz, the other wants him in all the same ways.
Personal notes: hey do you ever feel like the chemicals in your brain just fucking change and shit while you read something because its good.
i wish to reclaim the rising by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)
Dream is quite happy with his life, despite his lack of memories, the scars and frailties of his body, and the numerous questions both raise. Then Punz, one of the gods of this world, saves his life, and it becomes clear that there is more to this - to them - than what can be seen on the surface. --- Or: it's a whole new world, and everyone deserves a chance to move on and make the most of the future. Punz has been waiting for theirs for... a long time.
Personal notes: I really wish I could just post memes and images instead of typing because I don't know how to communicate to you the level of Feral I am rn.
i miss the way you made me feel by WinterEnchantress. (Rated G)
Technoblade broke them up because duty always comes first, and he knows that the pain will never lessen, but at least he had the certainty that Dream was also...suffering. Because he's a selfish and petty man, deep inside, and he doesn't want to be lonely in his pain. Up until Dream found someone else. Up until Dream starts to heal, and all Techno can do is watch from the sidelines as Punz carefully puts broken pieces back together. All he has left is regret. or sad techno and broken up dnb + punz/dream being sweet as techno pines and suffers (:
Personal notes: !!!!!!! well thats fucked up and sad. fuck yeah lets go !!!!!!!
starshine after the longest night by voidofthestars. (Rated T)
They say almost, because there's so much missing from him, from weight loss from starvation to blatant mutilation, ears slashed and even tagged. And gods knew what else lies beneath his torn and ragged clothes. The moment Dream collapses into their arms and they close around him he keens, low and hurt like a dying animal in a cage. It's all Punz can do to keep them both upright even as Dream shakes in his arms, damaged hands scrabbling across his back and shoulders like he was afraid Punz wasn't actually there. "Holy shit, starshine, I've got you, you can't drop on me yet we're not safe yet." "Punz! Punz you're actually here! Haha, oh my god, I can't believe it!" Dream's voice cracks from emotion and disuse. It's painful to listen to, in more ways than one.
Personal notes: Don't fucking look at me don't perceive me I don't want to talk about it.
last cup of coffee by Luciddreaming_ (LucidDreamLight). (Rated T)
Local barista crushing on the cute college boy.
Personal notes: I don't have braincells anymore. Only them.
or should i walk by again? by Anonymous. (Rated T)
After Sapnap accidentally triple-books himself, he leaves his friends Dream and Punz to entertain each other at a boardwalk. This quickly spirals into a bet: Can you fall in love in one day?
Personal notes: what if... they kissed<=== absolutely deranged
green strings of magic by nightdaydream. (Rated M)
“You just work with him for money,” Quackity states, looking at Punz, and they want to laugh at how wrong the statement is. At first, sure; Dream was their client, and they were a mercenary. But as time passed, and they got closer, they came to trust Dream. And eventually, the golden ring on their finger and the matching one on the chain around Dream’s neck, hidden below his hoodie, came into play. “So, if he’s dead, which everyone else here wants anyways, you have no reason to carry out what he wants.” aka. Dream gets killed. Punz brings him back, because they’re a good partner like that.
Personal notes: they're MARRIED they have RINGS what if I shed my skin and became a skeleton.
Keep it Together by orphan_account (Rated T)
/Don’t react. Don’t react. Stay calm. Stick to the plan./ They spent hours, standing on a grassy hill, staring at the prison. /Keep it together./
Personal notes: His One Attachment his Most Important Attachment Shut The FUck
sunlight through my window by oopsie_daisyy (Rated G)
Dream and Punz are comfortable enough together to just walk into each other’s room and be. But when Dream asks him an unfinished question, Punz can’t get the implications of it off of his mind.
Personal notes: biting my own arm. Themb!!!!!! Them,,,,,
Bunker Pasta by dyinginlava (probablyaceok). (Rated T)
When Punz meets Dream after he escapes from Pandora’s Vault he notices how bad Dream looks and makes a decision.
Personal notes: They love each other did you know that. did you know. they love each other so much
Ground Zero by Oceanbreeze7. (Unrated)
Canon Divergence- what if the entire confrontation went a little faster- and they all had time to leave before the nuke impacted?
Personal notes: its barely there, but Its There and its important To Me.
Even Now by TastesLikeBakingSoda (Rated G)
Punz tries to coax Dream to bed, post-prison.
Personal notes:..........
lets take a rest by TastesLikeBakingSoda (Rated G)
Dream comes home after fighting the slime clone army and Punz gives him tickles and kisses
Personal notes: I'm being persecuted, held at gunpoint even.
-EXPLICIT FICS-
forever and always by applpudding
Dream slips his hands from Punz’s grasp and slides one around the cradle the back of his head. “Punz. Look at me.” The softness of his voice coaxes Punz’s eyes open and oh. He’d forgotten how stunning Dream’s eyes are in the daylight, brilliant viridian irises shining bright and honest, settled between soft golden eyelashes. “I don’t know if I can say it back yet,” Dream says, and for a moment Punz feels his heart sink. “But,” Dream continues, “that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I do, I really do, I promise you that.” Punz leans forwards and knocks their foreheads together. “I’ll wait,” he whispers. “However long you need, I’ll wait."
Personal notes: they need to be happy its so fucking important to me
radio lust by navyhurricane
A messy turn of events leaves Dream without a car in the middle of a rainstorm. He knows Punz is made of nicotine and bad ideas, but Dream's curiosity over Punz’s passenger seat is addicting.
Personal notes: hi they are absolutely infatuated with each other. they told me so themselves.
losing the bet by Anonymous
“Oh, I see. You wanted to lose,” Punz said in a low voice, dropping in volume, and Dream’s breath hitched in his throat. “You made that bet assuming you’d lose, huh? You wanna be my bitch that badly?” “Fuck no,” Dream spat back even as his eyes locked onto Punz’s lips. They looked surprisingly soft, pink. Dream swallowed hard. “I’m just a man of my word. I promised you, you win, you use me as you want.” “Just seems like an odd thing to offer to someone you’re not attracted to at all.” Punz stepped closed again, practically chest to chest, and he grabbed Dream by the jaw. His grip was tight, practically bruising, and he pushed Dream’s head back against the lockers. “Deny it all you want, but I think you wanted to end up here. You liked the thought of mean ol’ Punz shoving you into the lockers, huh? You want me to fuck you right here?” Dream whined, unable to speak with the hand clamping his jaw shut, and Punz huffed a snort of amusement. “You’re cute when you’re pathetic, princess,” Punz purred.
Personal notes: shaking them. they are stupid and full of kink. I cherish them deeply.
Observant by Toasted_Poison
Dream and Punz are roommates and Dream is very observant of Punz's recent behavior.
Personal notes: the comment I left on this fic probably shows how insane I am more than any words I could type here.
if you’re the reason why it’s empty, spin the fucking bottle by oopsie_daisyy
"I was about to leave when you asked me to play spin the bottle, actually,” Dream explains with a knowing smile, one that Punz reciprocates easily. “But yeah, it’s fine. Just a regular boring party, nothing too special.” “I could make it special.” Dream rolls his eyes. “I know you can. Why else do you think I would stay at some shitty party?"
Personal notes: RAAAAA WHY ARE THEY SO DUMB I CANT FUCKING STAND THEM (is holding them so very closely)
Shatter you by Anonymous
The payment is given. The plan should start any minute now. Punz wouldn't say he'd changed his mind. He never truly agreed with this plan anyway. It's good that Dream is in a good spot for listening. Alternatively: Punz is an Ender Dragon hybrid who likes gold but likes his shiny employer better so he decides to keep him. Dream's a brat and needs to be taught his place.
Personal notes: go away leave me be. I have to be really abnormal about Ender Dragon Punz. (you hear the sound of someone eating paper)
A Goat & A Coyote by ConscientiousMonster, Melpomene_Muse_of_Tragedy
A coyote pack leader finds a goat spellcaster that's been tied up in ribbons and left for death by vultures. This is furry-flavoured Drunz porn.
Personal notes: I'm not a furry but five dollars is five dollars<===this is a reference. I'm actually probably a furry.
Without End by JanetBaby99
“We’re equals aren’t we? You and me no matter what,” Punz assures. “You don’t control me and I don’t control you.” Dream lets his words wash over him, taking them in and analyzing each one. … Even after all of this, seeing how weak Dream has become, seeing how he’s fallen, Punz still sees him as an equal on this godforsaken server. ___________________ After Dream escapes Pandora's Vault, he goes to Punz who helps him through the worst of his injuries, and assures Dream that he would love him no matter what.
Personal notes: HNNNNNNNNNNNNNN THEY ARE IN LOVE,,,, THE ANGST CAN'T DEFEAT THEM,,,
all your ivory glory by eleostomercy
“You’re a cockslut.” Dream’s eyes flick up. He’s sure he makes quite the sight, knelt at Punz’s feet, knelt over a baby blue dildo, and dripping between his thighs with a hand on Punz’s cock. “What about it?” or, where dream has an idea and a need to be between punz's legs.
Personal notes: clapping and cheering and blowing the building up because its what they deserve.
twisted on my tongue by eleostomercy
I know what a sex machine is,” Punz mutters, unsteady on his feet as he rights himself by the refrigerator; the revelation is surprising, sure, but his own astonishment at Dream’s hidden possession is nearly gone. “I just didn’t think that—” “What?” Dream’s embarrassment has melted away by now, and it leaves in its place a sharp grin and gleaming eyes. “Didn’t think I would own one?” or, where dream reveals a well-kept secret and punz decides to give it his own gleaming review.
Personal notes: hey did you know that they're in love. Did you know that I'm throwing shit and maiming because they are in love.
their hungry thirsty roots by consumptive_sphinx
Punz, somewhere above him, sighs, and then there’s a flowering vine in his face and he can’t fucking breathe. His knees hit the ground again and this time Punz wraps an arm around his chest and doesn’t let go, combs through his hair with their fingers while he coughs until his eyes water. “Sorry, man,” they say, and “I know,” and “it’s alright.” Something’s fucking happening while he coughs and Dream doesn’t like drugs under the best of circumstances— they make him slow, they make him stupid, they make him off his game and he can’t be off his game— but the alarm is leeching away. It’s like trying to cling to water. By the time he can breathe again his legs feel too weak to move on.
Personal notes: hnnnn Egg fics.... my one (1) weakness....
pleasure in death by bugginmate
“Here’s how this is gonna work, sweetheart,” he murmurs, brushing Dream’s too long hair out of his face. “You’re going to do what I say. I’m gonna get you all worked up and begging for me. Then when- or if- I decide to let you feel good, I am going to kill you. Do you understand?” Dream and Punz are brainstorming ways to die for their limbo research.
Personal notes: two bros, chilling in their lab, fucking around against OSHA regulations.
Scour and Scorch by FraustiButBad (FraustiNoSnowman)
“Is everything about numbers to you?” He retorts. It’s a weak one, at that, not because it doesn’t mean anything to Punz, but because both of them know that it’s almost a hundred percent true, and Punz is proud of that fact. “Yes,” the lighter blonde admits. His thumb rests on the front of Dream’s chin, and he pulls Dream’s head down to eye level; Dream has to grip the table for him to not punch Punz in the face, or throw on his jacket and leave. “It’s all numbers to me. And where does that take me, sweetheart?” Punz does everything for numbers. • Dream and Punz, musicians, classmates, enemies, friends with benefits, are everything that could be set fire to.
Personal notes: the unreliable narrator that is Dream. also kink. peoples two favorite things.
Red Sweater by Typical_Kiwi
Punz really has to go to work and Dream's making it exceedingly difficult. (Punz isn't blameless.)
Personal notes: THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. SHUT UPPPPPPP
Home for the Holidays by Toasted_Poison
"So, where am I sleeping?” Dream asked, looking around the large room, the couch did look quite comfortable. Punz shook his head, opening his suitcase to unpack, “Are you playing dumb? In bed with me.” “Oh! Are we going to explore each other's bodies?” Dream teased. The dirty blond kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket, placing it on the couch before his gloves joined it. He didn’t expect an answer from Punz, who was staring down at a blue shirt in his hands before looking up and smiling at Dream with a cock of his eyebrow. “If you’d like."
Personal notes: (you see an image of goofy floating in a fountain)
Play To Win by angeIofsmalldeath
He likes his roommate, he really does. All things aside, they’re relatively close and spend a decent amount of time together. Punz keeps his space neat, they split dish duty, and his rent is always on time. He’s not a bad roommate in the slightest. That does not change the fact that this is not the first time Dream has found himself incredibly annoyed on behalf of Punz and his stupid video game. Dream is sick of his roommate playing video games loudly all night long. So, they make a bet.
Personal notes: Listen. Listen. Listen. Actually Don't listen. Have you considered the benefits of shedding your skin and becoming a skeleton
i'll be unclean, i'll be obscene (you be the rest) by staged
“I wanna choke you.” Punz leans down to say in Dream’s ear, dragging his teeth against the lobe and pressing a wet kiss to his jaw. “Do it.” Dream pleads, rocking back on a harsh thrust. His eyes flutter, meeting Punz’s gaze with a forest of vulnerability, thick with desperate want. “What if I kill you?” Punz mouths down Dream’s neck, licking around the space between his fingers. It’s spoken like a suggestion, a sadistic fantasy that they want to play out. “Then bring me back.”
Personal notes: Theyre so wonderfully fucked up I would Die for them.
I miss ya, and our rendezvous by froghatter
Five times Punz and Dream made bets together and only once does Dream lose.
Personal notes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Transactional Satisfaction by TastesLikeBakingSoda
Punz takes his payment.
Personal notes: Don't look at me go away.
candy games by Royal_Stars
Dream wants to play a game. Punz obliges. Why wouldn't they, when they get kisses out of it? It leads to a bit more than the two of them bargained for, but hey, neither of them are really complaining.
Personal notes: I am slowly sliding them both together. then they kiss. then they kiss. then they
but the damage has been done by Anonymous
After weeks upon weeks of exhaustive experimentation on the nature of life, death, and revival, Punz and Dream are both tired. One of them was bound to break. But Punz is not going to let it be Dream.
Personal notes: they are full of mental illness and so am I.
Sublime by cosmicskies
Punz will make him food. He knows what Dream needs right now. Soft touches and to be showered in attention even though he scowls and tries to send the other away every time. During the moments where Dream can think without being shouted at by his own mind, he’ll tell Punz about the things he wishes he didn’t think. How sometimes, asking to be held is the scariest thing of them all. But they’re both touchy people.
Personal notes: (you hear explosions in the distance)
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librarycards · 16 days
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glad i'm not 15 any more bc if some bitch on tiktok told me "noo don't kermit sewer slide!!111!!" i would simply commit homocide instead
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