“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”
— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)
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Sketch of the boys while we wait for TSC to come out and break our hearts
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Jeremy and Jean are living inside my head and I don't care that they don't pay rent (working on some redesigns for these two)
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“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it."
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falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat
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i take my whiskey neat, my coffee black in my bed at three, you're too sweet for me
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Neil makes SCRAPS of appearances in tsc but he serves cunt and leaves. Absolute legend. I get now why Jean was at his wits end with this guy. He orders drinks and food, makes fucking fbi agents WAIT for him then sits in an INTERROGATION and eats take out as if it's just another day for him. Jean probably got 20 separate heart attacks because of this man and then this gremlin goes ahead and orders a hit on the behalf of a man he knew only in pain while sitting in a very public diner and waiting on fbi agents to show up and drag them away.
Neil Fucking Josten, Andrew has his hands full. Never a dull day with him.
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so uh. has anyone done this yet
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“He needed to know what Nathaniel was saying in this historic moment.”
Meanwhile Neil
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It's too cold outside, I wanna join their warm and cozy hugs :"
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