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getreadytosmash · 3 years

Note

][And now to be super self-indulgent. Rhys and Jen for the ship meme][

@blind-mutant

Ship meme

General:

How long will they last? - YEARS baby. Rhys is in it for the long-haul and so is Jen.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Rhys was immediate we all know this. Jen took,,,maybe a month or two due to previous experiences making her more weary.

How was their first kiss? - Horny. Started out sweet but we both know they got hot and heavy near the end.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Rhys did since he would want to smitten Jen with it all.

Who is the best man/men? - Samuel and Rick.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Hulk and Betty.

Who did the most planning? - Jen did since she enjoys planning this stuff out but Rhys was really involved.

Who stressed the most? - Jen for sure since she gets stressed more easily thanks to green genes.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. - Oh u KNOW they had a big set up and an entire town wanted to celebrate with them!

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Any of Jen's villains of the week or Rhys's family.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Jen mostly but they switch a fair amount. Physically it's Rhys a lot since she needs to worry about crushing him.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Both of them are because they're both giant horndogs.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head - Not WILD-wild, but yeah, Jen and Rhys love to try anything at least once to give it a go.

How long do they normally last? - Rhys lasts about a normal, if not more amount of time but oh man Jen can GO baby. Lasts forever.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Rhys gets more by default of gamma libido, but yeah they both get an equal amount and much more than that.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - Physically, Jen's gentle with Rhys, but other than that? the filthiest and sweetest words tbh.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. - What's the best way to calm down from a ton of filthy and dirty flirty sex other than super sweet and warm cuddling? Though I imagine not as much during the summer since Jen builds up a lot of heat.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Probably one? Jen isn't really cut out for pregnancy realistically but that won't stop me from wanting it so bad and making it happen.

How many children will they adopt? - One or two, a little bit older like 8-12? Kids that Jen and Rhys wanna help.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Jen does since Rhys can't see the,,,,finer work.

Who is the stricter parent? - Jen is as she has more normal limits for what is and isn't a punishment and limits.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - They both do but Jen more since she can get to the kids and stop them better.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Rhys does since Jen kinda forgets to eat at times or has less time to.

Who is the more loved parent? - Rhys since he IS there more and more relatable to certain issues honestly, especially if the kid they have is adopted or has a rougher past.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Jen, but ONLY by a smidgen since she can keep her cool and we both know what Rhys is like.

Who cried the most at graduation? - They both do because they're both such GIANT saps of parents!

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -,,,Jen. Legit her job.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Jen does, though if they're at the base then she works with Red or Rick.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither? Rhys has had years of shit food to worry now and Jen can basically eat anything.

Who does the grocery shopping? - They both do, you need all the help you can get for hulk groceries.

How often do they bake desserts? - Not THAT often since Jen isn't that good at baking so they just bother Red for them.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Rhys is more of a salad and Jen is very mixed but does tend to need meat more now.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Both are but Rhys especially since he's a giant sap.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Jen is. She likes dressing up for Rhys and she likes being able to show off her partner.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Rhys.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Rhys more since he needs to remember where certain things are.

Who is really against chores? - Jen more because somedays you just don't wannnaaaa.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Jen does.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Jen tbh as I said with her just wanting to do it later.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Rhys since a lot of these guests tend to be big hero friends of Jen's.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Rhys, free sugarmama cash surpise.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Rhys takes longer showers and Jen takes longer baths for luxury.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Rhys does at night and Jen does in the morning.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Every year and it's always a big and fun group thing or just for them at Jen's apartment.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Rhys wants to be able to make Jen happy and to be there for her when no one else can and Jen wants to be able to show some vulnerability and give Rhys the relationship he deserves.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Rhys, but Jen does love sleeping in on weekends.

Who plays the most pranks? - They BOTH do oh my god do not be shocked for a prank war. Jen and Rhys are both younger siblings, they have the annoying energy.

#ask #blind-mutant #green goddess (jen)#ship meme #headcanon

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raineydaywrites · 3 years

Text

Nesting, Chapter 9

link to ao3 in the reblog

Fic Summary: Taako and Lup are determined to kick ass at going to university, even though their childhood education was anything but traditional.Then, Taako finds himself in a situation that threatens to undermine all their hard work.But there's plenty of university students that have kids! Really, this is just another chance to show how much better they are at everything they do- they can definitely manage to graduate and raise a kid at the same time.

Chapter Summary: This chapter has it all! Panic attacks, Magnus cameo, baby clothes, crushes, siblings messing with each other! Also, yeah, this definitely moving into some solid Lupcretia.

Miscarriage. How had that never occurred to him? He should have thought about that.

It wasn't likely, he tried to remind himself. It probably wasn't going to happen.

He should focus on other things instead. Like school work. The rest of his life wasn't going away just because his mind decided to go crazy over something that wasn't even happening.

Despite the rationality of his thoughts, Taako couldn't bring himself to actually follow through on them. His mind kept spiraling. He couldn't stand the thought of losing the thing now. He'd finally let himself actually want it!

He was so deep in thought that he forgot himself and where he was- namely, in public- for a little bit. It took the realization that someone was speaking to him to bring himself back.

"Hey, buddy? You okay?"

Taako startled backwards away from the stranger speaking to him, but he was already in the corner of the tiny booth in the coffee shop, so there wasn't really anywhere to go.

"Fine," he managed, watching the human in front of him carefully.

The guy was about the same height as he was, but he was a lot broader. Clearly more of a physical type of a guy than a magic user or anything else. He had reddish hair and big, worried eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, as those worried eyes looked Taako over. "You seemed kind of out of it there."

"I'm good, homie." Taako waved a hand dismissively, despite the way that his mind was screaming and his fingers were trembling.

And oh. Great. He wasn't sure if it was the anxiety or the morning sickness or some dreadful combination of both, but his stomach had started churning too.

"Did you come here with anybody? Can I... help you somehow?" the guy asked, looking around worriedly as if someone would pop up to relieve him of this duty he'd taken on himself for no apparent reason.

"Nah, man, you're good," Taako insisted. This guy needed to fuck off before Taako puked on him.

"Hey, just breathe, okay?" the guy said, and oh. When had he started to have trouble with that? Taako wasn't sure, but he was definitely breathing too fast now, the oxygen not quite getting through to his brain like it was supposed to.

He did so, because even if this guy was intruding on his personal shit, he wasn't wrong about the breathing thing.

"You wanna get out of here? Go somewhere quieter?" the guy asked, watching Taako carefully.

Taako nodded, because he did. Started to gather his shit, kept dropping stuff, godsdamn he was too clumsy. He had to get that under control before the baby got here- if he didn't fuck it up first.

The guy leaned over and started to help, holding Taako's things with steady hands.

"Thanks," Taako choked out.

"No problem," the guy smiled. "Is it okay if I touch you? Just to help you get somewhere else."

Taako shrugged, and the guy lifted one arm protectively over Taako's shoulder, but didn't let it drop to actually touch him. He led Taako carefully away from the cafe, finding an empty room and ushering them both inside.

Taako planned to say something, but before he could, his stomach started protesting again, and he was very glad to see that the room had a trash can nearby.

"Ew," the man who'd helped him muttered, seemingly torn between stepping closer to help and leaving.

Taako snorted, amused by the reaction. He seemed a decent guy, but Taako could hardly blame him for being grossed out.

"It's chill, my dude. You don't gotta do anything," Taako said, leaning back against the wall.

"Okay," the guy said, offering a sympathetic smile. "You still gonna try to say you're fine? Cause that must have been a hell of panic attack to make you puke."

"Nah, not really," Taako deflected. "I mean, yeah, unpleasant, but actually, this," he gestured to trash and wrinkled his nose, "was just morning sickness. Not nerves. Thanks, though, for checking and whatever."

"Oh. Uh, are you feeling better now, though? On both fronts? If you need to vent, dude, I'm cool with that. No pressure or anything. Just maybe easier to vent to a stranger, ya know?" the guy asked. "Or I could... get you some... water?" He sounded painfully unsure of what to do, in a way that was endearing, not that Taako would let it show.

It was awful sweet of him to offer, and he might have a point. If it didn't work, not like Taako ever had to see the dude again.

Still, he only shrugged in response, not loving the idea of opening up to a stranger- especially considering the guy had already seen him so vulnerable already.

"I'll get you that water," the guy said, hurrying out of the room.

Taako watched him go, not really expecting him to come back again. The guy had been nice and helped him out, and he'd repaid the kindness by being surly, so he could hardly blame him. Not like it mattered anyway. Taako didn't need some stranger poking his nose in his business.

Still, it was harder to hold off the nerves without the presence of another person. He wished he'd asked the doc more about any signs that anything had gone wrong. Better to know that as soon as it started right? If he noticed fast enough, maybe they could do something to save the thing.

Unless there was no chance of saving it. Then maybe it would be better to live in blissful ignorance for a while.

Taako realized that he'd pulled his knees up to his chest and reminded himself to breathe. This was hormones and senseless worries, nothing more. He was fucking up his bad bitch image by having anxiety and he needed to stop it.

The door opened back up, and the guy came back. He had a bottle of water in his hands, and he handed it to Taako.

"Drink that. And breathe, okay?" he said.

"How do you know what to do?" Taako asked. He’d meant for it to sound more like doubt in the guy’s skills then it did, but he figured the point would still get across.

“My sister gets panic attacks a lot! I help her sometimes!” The guy apparently didn’t get the point, as he spoke with pride and smiled widely at Taako.

Well, it was whatever. If the guy took it as genuine gratitude, more power to him. Didn’t hurt Taako.

He stood up again after a moment, still feeling a little shaky but back to himself for the most part.

“Hey, homie, thanks or whatever, but I’m good and I’m out, ‘kay?” Taako said, gathering his things.

“Uh, yeah, okay,” the guy said, still watching Taako carefully as he left the room. Taako decided to believe that he was watching his ass, instead of admitting that the guy was probably worried something would happen.

Didn’t need to be that honest with himself, after all.

“My name’s Magnus! Magnus Burnsides! I’m-“ the guy called.

“Yeah, uh, hail and well met,” Taako said, closing the door behind him.

He didn’t tell Lup about the incident. Why should he? What good would it do? It happened and it sucked, but she couldn’t do anything about it.

He just had to accept that things were going to suck for a while. He couldn’t do anything to change that at the moment or for the foreseeable future so he just had to deal.

When he got back to the apartment, Lup was there, digging through some bags from the store.

“Groceries?” Taako assumed, glancing into them as he passed by, prepared to help her put them away.

“Yep,” Lup agreed, but she quickly shoved one bag behind her back, refusing to let him see into it.

Taako raised an eyebrow at that, but he didn’t press it. He'd figure out what was in there sooner or later, and it would be better if Lup let her guard down first, instead of just trying to grab it out of her hands. His center of balance had been off lately, and she’d have a definite advantage at keeping shit away from him. Not about to embarrass himself like that.

As they finished up with the groceries, Lup pulled the secret bag back out.

"I was gonna wait to do anything like this, but I saw this and couldn't fucking resist," she said, reaching into the bag and pulling out a small scrap of fabric something- oh. A baby clothing- a onesie or whatever it's called. It read "My Aunt is like my Dad, but Cooler."

"You shouldn't have," Taako started. "Parasite's not gonna go out wearing such an obvious lie."

Lup scoffed, a bit of relief slipping into her expression at the fact that he didn't freak out about it.

"You really think you're gonna be able to keep up with me on the cool factor when you've got a sticky monster crawling on you and keeping you up all night? I'd love to see that," she said, setting the onesie down on the counter, and pulling out some very small socks.

"Oh my gods, those are tiny," Taako said, immediately, momentarily disregarding the first part of her comment in favor of grabbing the socks and staring, because how. How could any person be little enough to need those?

"I know!" Lup shouted. "Get this, apparently a ton of newborns are so small, these are literally too big at first."

"How?" Taako demanded. "Also- the little thing is going to be messy, yeah, but also adorable, natch, so it'll even out."

"Ehhh," Lup made a skeptical face at him. "Maybe when they're bigger, sure. But newborns are kinda ugly, not gonna lie. You can't say it, because it's rude, but they are. All scrunched up and red and shit, and they can't smile or anything either. So as long as it's this little, it's gonna be accurate."

Taako just flipped her off, digging into the bag and seeing a few other pieces of tiny, tiny clothing. Lup hadn't gotten much, and the rest was pretty plain, but it was blowing his mind how little all of it was.

He supposed that they had to be pretty little, to actually get born without killing their parent, but it was still hard to imagine.

He scooped the clothes up into his arms to put them away when it occurred to him that he had no idea where to put any of this.

"We're gonna have to move, aren't we?" He groaned.

"Yeah, probably," Lup agreed. "But that's way too far away too worry about. Just stuff it in your room for now."

Taako grumbled under his breath, but figured she had a point. Their lease wouldn't run out for months and the little guy was even further away. Still wouldn't be fun trying to move later on, because by then he'd probably have a lot more trouble with the whole 'moving around' thing.

He hadn't started to show at all yet, which was apparently normal, even if it seemed kind of weird to him. His whole fucking life had changed since he found out he was pregnant, and yet, there was still nothing to show for it. He didn't mind not being huge and awkward already, but something this big seemed like it should be noticeable.

But once it was noticeable, then he'd have to deal with reactions. Everybody he knew would be able to see it. And they'd have questions, or want to talk about it out of politeness or whatever. And strangers would be able to tell even. And they would think- who even knew what? It was going to be another layer on the bullshit sandwich.

He could handle it though. He could handle a lot of bullshit, and it had to happen for the kid to get here. And when the kid got here, that crap would be over with, and he'd have his baby. And that would be good. Probably. He hoped.

Lucretia figured that it might be best if she kept working with the twins on the paperwork for the child support. Now that she knew that Sebastian didn't plan on skipping out completely, it was less necessary that she play a role in the process, but it still might be the wisest decision. She had a rapport with the twins that Sebastian was lacking, and, despite everything, she actually liked seeing them. So it wouldn't be a hardship to work through this with them and relay the relevant information to her brother later.

Today, for the first time, Lucretia had been invited over to the twins' place. Lup had texted her the address of their apartment, and Lucretia was curiously looking around as she made her way over.

The place wasn't far from where the actual IPRE classes took place, which wasn't surprising. Still, it was an area that Lucretia wasn't very familiar with, and she was careful to keep track of where she was so she wouldn't find herself hopelessly lost.

It was a nice area, if definitely designed for college age kids. Lucretia and Sebastian still lived with their parents, in a completely separate part of town, and that might make it difficult for them to see the baby very often. If Seb even wanted to, and if Taako and Lup even let them.

Lucretia knew that she wanted to, at least. And she thought- hoped- she'd have a decent chance of being allowed that.

It was strange, thinking of her brother as a parent. And Seb's attitude wasn't doing anything to help that. But even if her brother never actually acted as a dad to this child, Lucretia still found herself thinking of them as family. It was irrational, maybe. There was nothing tying them other than blood, and it wasn't even a direct connection. But she couldn't shake it regardless.

The baby was her brother's kid, which meant that they were family. Family- family was important. It wasn't fair to take away the kid's only chance of accessing that part of their family just because Seb was an immature dick. And- it wasn't fair to her, either, that she cared about the baby already and she could have lost any chance of seeing them because of her brother's irresponsibility.

As she got closer to the twins' apartment, Lucretia forced herself to focus on the numbers of each address, rather than let her mind run wild.

She found the right building, and made her way inside and up to the twins' unit quickly, pausing only briefly when she arrived at the door.

It was quickly answered by Lup, who smiled brightly and grabbed Lucretia's hand to pull her inside.

Taako was in the kitchen, cooking something that smelled really good. He waved as Lup pulled Lucretia behind her into the kitchen and shoved her towards a chair, before joining her brother.

"What'd you bring us?" Lup asked, indicating the envelope Lucretia had been fiddling since she'd arrived.

"A gift," Lucretia said, pushing the envelope over.

Both twins looked at the envelope curiously, almost eerie in the similarity of their expressions, but Taako was the one to grab the envelope from the counter.

He opened it, pulling out the money inside.

"My favorite kind of gift," he said, grinning.

"Nice!" Lup agreed, looking over at Taako excitedly.

"What's the occasion?" Taako asked, pocketing the money and resuming his cooking.

"It's from Seb. You could call it the first support payment, I suppose," Lucretia explained.

"Why's he suddenly being nice?" Taako asked, turning to face Lucretia as he spoke. "He doesn't have to fork anything over yet. What's in it for him?"

"This counts for some of the support he owes during the pre-natal period. Seb decided he'd rather make a bunch of small payments than a couple big ones later on," Lucretia said. "Figured it would be easiest for everyone. He doesn't have to save up so much, you guys get cash faster."

"Best for everyone, huh?" Lup said, a little skeptically.

"Yes," Lucretia responded, exasperated. "He's not a monster, you know. If it's good for him and good for you, then he's not going to go out of his way to make things harder just to spite you guys."

Taako and Lup exchanged a quick look at her words, and Lucretia got the feeling that they were having a whole conversation without her.

"Still an ass, though," Lup muttered, finally.

"Never said he wasn't," Lucretia said, a peace offering.

The kitchen fell into silence for a moment- not quite awkward but not entirely comfortable either. Lucretia found herself tapping her fingers against the counter nervously, wishing she had a notebook to doodle in.

"Hey, now that we have more cash, we can go supplies shopping," Lup said, breaking the silence.

"Oh, hell yeah!" Taako immediately perked up at her words, excitement breaking across his features. "Time to make a bombass nursery!"

The juxtaposition of the words made Lucretia grin in amusement. But she was glad that the twins were getting excited about this. She wanted her nibling to have a good family and childhood, and it was something of a relief to see the obvious affection they twins had for them already. She liked Taako and Lup, but they didn't exactly give off mature or parental vibes. Lucretia hadn't been worried about it, exactly, but she liked the reassurance that they cared anyway.

"You know any good baby stores, Luce?" Taako asked.

Lucretia hadn't been expecting the question, but she responded eagerly.

"I do! I actually helped out on a ranking of local baby-centered supplies shops only a few months ago, so I can look over my notes from that and give recommendations."

"Ranking? For what?" Lup asked.

"I'm a writer. I do some work for a local media group. I haven't done many reviews in a while, not since I was a junior writer, but a friend asked for some help on that project," Lucretia explained, sheepish at forgetting to give context.

"Wait, how old are you? If you're already a senior writer, or whatever?" Lup asked, tilting her head curiously.

"I'm not a senior writer, just not a junior writer anymore. I've been working for them since I was sixteen and I'm nineteen now," Lucretia explained, letting a little pride slip into her voice. She was a good writer, and she knew it. She'd gotten the job as part of the youth outreach and education program, but most of the teens employed through that program were temporary hires. She was one of the few who proved herself enough to stay on longer.

"Damn, that's pretty good for a baby!" Taako said, raising a hand for a high five that Lucretia returned with a giggle.

"Thanks. But I'm not a baby, and you probably don't want to call me one," she said.

"You're nineteen. I hadn't lost all my milk teeth by nineteen. You're a baby," Taako said.

"Okay, I guess, but if I'm a baby and my brother is a year younger than me, what does that make you?" Lucretia responded.

Taako and Lup both made disgusted faces at the words, which made Lucretia laugh.

"Okay, shit, you're an adult, just don't ever remind me of that again!" Taako said, mock gagging. "I'm never fucking dating a human again, gods."

"Deal," Lucretia said, still laughing a little.

"And here I was trying to be nice," Taako said, face relaxing out of the disgust. "You're an ass too, huh? Just a sneaky one."

"Takes one to know one," Lucretia said, dry. "How'd you think I had you two figured out so fast?"

"Hey, non-assholes are boring anyway," Lup shrugged. "This way, we can actually be friends."

Lucretia smiled at the suggestion that they were friends. She wasn't a complete loner, but she hadn't made very many friendships here so far. She was glad to have more among that number.

Still, amongst the happiness was the slightest twinge of discomfort at the words. She wasn't quite sure why, and mentally prodded at the feeling, reminding herself that this was a good thing. She liked the twins and she liked spending time with them. Yes, it may be a little awkward and complicated because of the situation with Seb, but overall this was good.

The twins finished cooked, and started to plate their food. Lucretia was surprised when they made up a third plate for her, and took it from Lup gratefully.

"Thank you. This smells wonderful," Lucretia said.

"Natch! We're fucking awesome cooks," Lup boasted, and Lucretia believed it, as she took a bite and had to hold herself back from eating it too quickly.

"You certainly are," Lucretia agreed, between mouthfuls.

Taako and Lup both preened under the praise, but Lucretia only had eyes for Lup's happy expression.

Oh.

Shit.

Lucretia almost choked on her next bite as it hit her. She had a crush on Lup. And she couldn't do anything about it, because she couldn't take the risk of making things awkward with one of her nibling's only family members. Because it would be awkward, because no way would Lup feel the same. Not only was she absolutely gorgeous and amazing, but this whole conversation had proved that Lup saw her as a child and a friend, not a potential partner.

She willed herself to calm down and not react. She didn't need to say or do anything about this. It would pass as long as she reminded herself that it wasn't going anywhere. It would be fine.

"I'll make sure to send you my notes," Lucretia said, turning to Taako and changing the subject. "On the baby stores."

"Nah, actually, you should just come with," Taako responded. "I'm sure you write great and all, but I don't feel like reading all that when you can just tell us."

"I- are you sure?" Lucretia asked. "I don't mind- but it's not my apartment or my baby. I don't want to intrude."

"That's even better. You can be a neutral opinion when me and Lulu start bitching over what to get," Taako said, grinning mischievously at Lup as he said it.

"Then, yes, I suppose I can come," Lucretia agreed, trying not to think about the fact that she was agreeing to spend hours shopping for cute and domestic things with the girl she'd just realized she had a crush on. Taako would be there, and none of this was her stuff, so it would be fine.

"Nice. Me or Lu will text you with the deets, okay?" Taako said, still looking at Lup as he said it. Then- "Ow!" - the look turned into a scowl.

"Whoops! I gotta be more careful where I swing my legs, sorry 'Ko."

#taz balance #taako adventurezone #lup adventurezone #lucretia adventurezone #lupcretia #taako taaco #lup taaco #taz lucretia #the adventure zone #my writing #kidfic #angus mcdonald #eventually

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walkingshcdow-a · 3 years

Note

And also Trevor and Finnegan

Ship HCs | Not Accepting!

@tinfoiltemplar

General:

How long will they last? - Depends on the verse, but I’m tempted to say for the rest of Victor’s life. (Come at me, Clare. I dare you.)

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Victor? Oh, probably by the third time Finnegan kissed him on the lips and told him he was “a good boy” or called him “darling”. Finnegan? He didn’t notice it until about a year in and he went “Oh fuck.” because it was Too Late.

How was their first kiss? - Explosive, deepened very quickly, escalated even more quickly. There was no pretense about it.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Finnegan

Who is the best man/men? - Hmm...

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - I don’t know if she’s considered a bridesmaid, but I feel like Jane might end up with a very important role int he wedding or Victor’s one sister who he adores. It’s a very intimate wedding, lbr.

Who did the most planning? - I want to say Finnegan, but let’s be real. He dumped it on his publicist and event planner because he was busy helping Victor with his divorce and, you know, running FinneCorp.

Who stressed the most? - VICTOR.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Victor’s parents, Shannon.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Finnegan

Who is the one to instigate things? - Both, definitely.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I’m not timing them, but long enough to murmur fucking soliloquys to each other, I swear to god...

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They do not, but I don’t think they mind.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Three through a surrogate

How many children will they adopt? - They don’t. They might consider it, but it’s already a complex enough legacy and inheritance that they’re leaving their daughters... I feel like they would feel like it was irresponsible and unfair to haul a non-biological child into their lives without being able to guarantee him or her the same legal rights as their biological kids. As it is, I think that Finnegan worries that their youngest daughter won’t have the same legal protections as the older two because she’s biologically Victor’s. I think he’s very worried about inheritance law.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - I feel like Victor volunteers for this and Finnegan wonders why they even bothered with a night nanny if Victor is just going to rush in to save the day every time.

Who is the stricter parent? - They’re both pretty strict but about wildly different things. I think it might be safe to say it’s Finnegan because he’s more consistent. Victor sometimes blurts out things like, “You can do anything you want! Do you know I love you?” to their kids and Finnegan is like “NOT ‘ANYTHING’.”

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - I have a very vivid mental picture of Victor rushing after one of the Valkyries while she’s on a bike going, “Not in the streeeeeeet” while Finnegan stands on the porch with a cup of coffee. I know this picture is wrong because I imagine it at my childhood home and their time is split between fancy apartments, fancy houses, and a literal castle, but the sentiment stands.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Victor. Finnegan doesn’t eat and I worry that one of their girls is going to pick up his habits.

Who is the more loved parent? - Finnegan, tbh. I only believe this because Clare and I talked about how he accidentally convinces their friends he’s a spy and a vampire. He also isn’t Trying So Hard to win approval.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?: Both. They would absolutely both go.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Victor but he cries a lot where the girls are concerned.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Finnegan. Victor thinks they need to learn the consequences. A mortified Finnegan Does Not Care and just doesn’t want his daughter to spend the night in jail. He thinks that letting her know he is Disappointed in her will be punishment enough. BOY is he right.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Haha

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Finnegan.

Who does the grocery shopping? - The at-home chef, but once a month, Victor and Finnegan go together.

How often do they bake desserts? - They try, but not often. I remember reading that Victor is a better baker than he is cook. I’d like to see him try to get Finnegan to eat a cupcake. Challenge: Issued.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Finnegan is a salad fan. Victor tries to eat balanced meals to model behavior for his husband and to get enough nutrition to support his own athletic zealotry.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Finnegan. I think about the scene in “Jane the Virgin”. I wanted to do something nice for you. But instead you cooked?

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Yes.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Yes.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Housekeeping. I think they’re both relatively clean people, though.

Who is really against chores? - Finnegan. “We hired someone to do that, don’t worry about it.”

Who cleans up after the pets? - If it’s Evan, it’s Victor. If it’s the horses, it’s Finnegan or the stable staff.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Neither.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Finnegan

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - I’m so curious as to what either of them would do if they found a single dollar tbh.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - FINNEGAN. He sometimes convinces Victor to join him,

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Victor. Evan is HIS dog.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - For Christmas.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Ooof. I don’t think they started with goals beyond getting laid and escaping their existences for a bit. It got complicate when they caught feelings because then the goal was “don’t get caught” and Finnegan has a Secret Goal of “convince Victor to leave Shannon for me” that turned into “Get married”. And after they were married, it became “Have children and secure a legacy.” And once they have the girls - Like, honestly, they’re never satisfied. I think if you ask my meta muse, his goals are things like “marry Victor” and “raise our girls” and “have intensely hot sex until it’s medically unwise” and “DON’T LOSE VICTOR” because someone has floated the idea of killing him and even though that someone has retracted that plan, my muse wants it known (by the muns, not other muses, because ew vulnerability) that he wants to grow old with Victor.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Finnegan. I don’t think Victor could sleep that late.

Who plays the most pranks? - I don’t think they play legitimate pranks. I do think that Finnegan teases and flusters the hell out of Victor, though, and we’ll count it.

#x. asks #x. meme response #professorofpredators #tinfoiltemplar #;;headcanon | {finnegan}#professor-of-predators

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beanfic · 5 years

Text

Summertime Sadness - Ch. 20

Word count: 1995

Warnings: Fluff and Smut

Author’s note: This chapter hurt to reread and edit, but I hope you enjoy it! Second to last chapter :)

Song Suggestions: Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey (like just put it on repeat, do it. now.)

“You look gorgeous,” your Mom whispered as she stuck her head in your room. You smiled as you inspected yourself in the stand-up mirror in front of you. You were wearing a red summer dress that had a deep v neck and ended right above your knees, black high heels, and a diamond necklace. You had curled your hair was a faint purple and put half of it up in a clean bun.

“Thanks, Mom.” You walked over to her and gave her a hug. You could feel her hand rub your back.

“I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m right here for you.”

“I just can’t believe tonight is my last night with him.”

“Just until December,” she pulled a curl that was hanging by your face and you watched it bounce from your side profile. Your purple was almost faded, and your hair now being able to be long enough to put the top half up. “Your hair looks like a beauty queen’s hair.”

“That’s kind of the look I was going for,” you grabbed your purse and checked your phone. Josh had texted you five minutes ago that he was on his way to pick you up. You had to work during the day, cutting your very last day of summer with Josh short.

“Where are you guys going for dinner?” your mom asked.

“I’m not sure,” you shrugged. “He said he has the whole night planned out as a surprise.”

“Well, I hope you have fun, enjoy yourself and be safe.” She kissed the top of your head.

“I will be Mom, thank you.” You headed downstairs and waited outside for Josh to pick you up. You saw the familiar headlights of Josh’s jeep speeding down your street. He got out of the Jeep quickly and walked around the car.

Your mouth dropped when you got a good glimpse of him. He was wearing nice black shorts and a nice white button up t-shirt. He looked nice, like really nice. He had shaved because his stubble was no longer there, and his blue hair was styled up and back.

“You look gorgeous, Y/L/N,” he wrapped your body up in his arms and he dipped you down like in the movies, making you let out a little squeal.

“Don’t drop me!” He lifted you back up, planting a kiss on your lips. “You look handsome too, Dun.”

“Ready for dinner?” He walked over to his Jeep and opened up the passenger door for you. You nodded and hopped in, smoothing out your dress so it wouldn’t get wrinkled.

“Where are we going?” you asked while Josh headed out of your neighborhood and getting on the freeway.

“Just wait and see.”

The car ride wasn’t too long, and he pulled up to this building that had lights on it. The sign read Martini Modern Italian. Also known as one of the fanciest Italian restaurants in Columbus, Ohio.

“Josh! This place is so expensive.” You placed your hand over your mouth as you gasped. “How can you afford this?”

“Regional At Best is doing way better than we were expecting, and I wanted to treat you.” His eyes creased when he smiled, and again your stomach fluttered. You started to think of how he was moving tomorrow, but you tried to push the thought away because you wanted to enjoy the night.

Josh grabbed your hand and walked inside to the Hostess at the front. “Reservation?” She asked in a high pitched voice.

“Yes, two for Dun.” He gave your hand a little squeeze.

“Right this way!” You followed the hostess to a little booth in a corner. There was a candle in the middle of the table and rose petals all over the table cloth.

“Josh this is amazing,” you whispered in awe as you looked around. You had never been in such a fancy restaurant before.

“Only the best for you.” You couldn’t help but blush at his kind words. You both talked about the album until the waiter showed up and took your orders.

“I’ll get a glass of Chardonnay, and an order of the Chicken Carbonara.” Josh handed the waiter his menu, and then it was your turn.

“May I please just have a glass of water, and I’ll order the Shrimp Marinara.” You handed her the menu with a smile.

“Just water, huh?” Josh chuckled.

“I’m only eighteen.”

“And I’m only 23.”

“You’re old,” you giggled.

“And you’re a baby. My baby,” he teased back.

“Ew, don’t ever call me that again.” You did a gagging motion making Josh burst out in laughter. Your meals came, and you had to take a picture of the fancy plates before digging in. The food was delicious, and you didn’t want it to stop but soon your stomach felt tight in your dress.

“I’m so full,” you groaned, rubbing your stomach.

“Me too!” Josh pushed his plate forward and leaned back. He paid the bill, which he didn’t let you see but you were guessing it was probably really expensive.

“Back to the car!” he pointed his finger forward and started marching, which made you hide your face with embarrassment.

“Can you not march in the middle of a prestigious restaurant,” you mumbled. “Where are we going anyway?”

“It’s a surprise, but it’s a long car ride.”

“Mount Jeez?” you raised an eyebrow as Josh opened the passenger door.

He groaned, “How did you guess?”

“It’s night time, and where else would we drive far too? We’re obviously going stargazing on the top of Mount Jeez!”

“You’re too smart.”

Josh got in the car and started it, and you sat back in your seat. It was only around 8pm, so the sun was just starting to set but it was a solid 80 degrees out. One of the warmest nights you have seen in Ohio in August.

Josh blared the Fun. album, making it a tradition when you head up to the lookout.

You kicked off your heels and layed further in the seat. You rolled down the window and let the wind blow your curls back. Josh held your left hand tight, and he rubbed your hand.

The hour and a half drive went by quickly, and before you knew it Josh was driving up onto the lookout. He kept his car running and hopped out. You unbuckled with confusion and got out too.

Josh held his hand out to you, “May I have this dance?” he said with a smirk. You nodded and grabbed his hand. He pulled you close and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your heels were still off, so you were shorter.

The music mixed with the sound of the telephone wires sizzling above you and your body swayed with Josh’s. He would spin you around, and both of you would laugh. You leaned your body close to his, your body buzzing. He made you feel electric.

“You’re the best,” he whispered as you slowly rocked back and forth. You looked up at him and kissed him, passionately.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I don’t want to leave either.”

“I think I’m going to miss you forever,” your eyes started to well up with tears. “You know, this summer was filled with tears and sadness.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Next summer will be better, I promise.”

“Next summer?” you looked at him with pleading eyes.

“Yes, Y/N, I don’t plan on letting you go ever even if I am living across the country.”

“Thank you, Josh, thank you,” you sobbed into his shirt letting your emotions consume you. After a few minutes, you pulled away and wiped your eyes. Josh walked to his Jeep and turned it off, grabbing blankets to put on the ground.

“The sun is almost gone,” he said. The sky was starting to light up with the stars and moon. You laid down next to Josh while he rubbed your arm.

“Kiss me, Josh,” you whispered. You wanted him to kiss you hard, one last night before he goes. Josh planted his lips on yours and you grabbed at his hair desperately. You weren’t usually the one to be so forward, but you knew what you wanted.

You pulled yourself up so you were sitting on Josh’s body and you continued to kiss him. You then grabbed his shoulders and rolled over so he was on top of you. He didn’t let his full body weight down though, so you didn’t get crushed.

“Off,” you whispered in between a kiss as you fumbled with his shirt buttons. Josh got the clue and took it off and you started to shimmy out of your dress.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Josh asked, knowing where this was leading to.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Out here?”

“Yes.”

“You want to lose your virginity the day I leave across the country?”

“Joshua! Don’t kill the mood. I said I get to decide, and I want to. Now.” You grabbed his face and pulled him back down, and you rolled back on top of him.

You were expecting to be nervous, especially being out in public, but you felt invincible as if nothing could ever scare you again. You pulled off Josh’s shorts and left him in his woven boxers. You felt Josh struggling with your bra strap so you helped him out.

The next thirty minutes of foreplay was soft and gentle as compared to before. Every touch and every lick was made with love, making sure the other was feeling pleasured and safe.

“You ready?” Josh asked, kneeling in front of you. You laid on your back naked, coming down from a climax.

“Yes,” you nodded and bit your lip and Josh moved closer to you. You couldn't believe that you were going to lose your virginity, right here, but it all felt so right. You stared into Josh’s chocolate brown eyes as he slowly pushed into you.

“Oh my god,” you blurted out. It hurt. Bad. Way more than you were expecting.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” Josh looked at you with worry in his face.

You shook your head and clenched your mouth, “No, go slow.” Josh did exactly that. His moves were slow, and you were able to stretch out and become used to his size. The pain turned into pleasure fast, and you couldn’t keep your moans inside as you felt things you had never felt before.

You kept your eyes closed for most of the time, but at one point you opened them and the look of Josh made you almost tear up. He looked vulnerable, yet strong. The moon shined down on his naked skin, making it appear luminescent, and his eyes were closed as he focused on the pleasure you both were feeling.

You reached up and grabbed his shoulders to bring his body down to yours so you could kiss him. You tangled your hands in his hair, and moans filled the air.

“Josh,” you whispered as you could feel him finish. He pulled out and laid next to you, staring into your eyes. You both had sweat dripping down each other's faces, and your hearts were racing.

“Thank you for letting me be your first time,” he spoke softly as he caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“Thank you for being my first time,” you smiled. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“You know I said I think I might have been falling in love?”

“Yeah?”

“I definitely fell in love,” you placed a soft kiss on Josh’s swollen lips. “I love you so much, Joshua Dun.”

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tag list: @takenvysleep @ohprettyweeper @oncemorewithfeelingg @gaiatheroyalrabbit @svintsandghosts @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @patdsinner33 @breadbinishigh @demonsdontcontrolus

#josh dun x reader #twenty one pilots x reader #josh x reader #josh dun #twenty one pilots #josh dun fanfiction #josh dun smut #josh dun fanfic #twenty one pilots fanfiction #twenty one pilots imagine #twenty one pilots fanfic #tøp fanfic #tøp fanfiction #summertime sadness #beanfic

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timeisacephalopod · 5 years

Text

Pest Control

A random IronPanther AU (with a side dish of Sam/Rhodey and Pepper/Natasha) in which T’Challa gets a sphynx and Tony becomes an expert advice giver in how to deal with your partner’s pets that you dislike.

Rhodey looks concerned probably because Tony looks overly serious. “T’Challa... has gotten a sphynx,” he says.

Rhodey squints. “A sphynx?” he asks and Tony nods. “That’s a cat, right?” he asks and Tony briefly reconsiders their friendship. They’ve been friends a long time but he has Pepper and she knows what a sphynx is so maybe he should stick with her.

“Its a hairless cat, yeah,” he says and Rhodey wrinkles his nose.

“Oh, ew, he got a goblin,” he says and Tony nods vigorously.

“You understand my pain!” T’Challa thinks this is an acceptable pet. A fucking bald cat. If he wanted to pet a bald mammal he’d pet T’Challa. Actually, he does that already. Its not really petting, but it kind of counts but that’s as close as Tony will get to petting a bald anything. Unless he somehow ends up in a situation in which he has to pet Okoye for some reason, she’s got less hair than T’Challa but she’d murder him if she even knew he’d considered such a thing to no because he values his life.

“Tell him cats in America either have hair or they’re bust,” he says, wrinkling his nose again.

“He’s going to tell me he’s not American and he’s right, which is why I have devised a plan to rid myself of this sphynx in a way that will work out for everyone, goblin cat included.” Just because he thinks the animal is an abomination doesn’t mean he wants to see the cat hurt. Just not in T’Challa’s lap where he might be forced to pet the damn thing.

“You’re going to contact whatever Erdrich horror put those things on this earth and tell it to take the cat back to the underworld?” Rhodey asks and Tony laughs.

Alright, this is why he’s friends with Rhodey. Dude is hilarious even if he’s apparently uneducated about what a sphinx is. “No. The cat hates cold hands on account of being bald, and if I spend enough time in the lab at a certain temperature my hands get cold. I use a lot of stuff that generates heat, makes sense that I wouldn’t have the heat up. Plausible deniability in case T’Challa catches me out. Anyway, then I go to pet the cat. Cat hates cold hands, will not react well. Then it’ll look like the cat hates me and T’Challa will take his ugly goblin cat back to Wakanda and we can get a proper cat with hair,” he says, waving his hands around a little.

Rhodey nods, “that’s genius. Got any tips on how to get Sam get rid of his budgies? Because the birds hate me and they squawk all night but Sam loves them for some reason. I can’t stand the birds but I think releasing them into the wild might be bad for them,” he says. “And I don’t like the birds, but I don’t want to hurt the birds. Unless its three in the morning and they won’t shut up, then I kind of want to strangle the birds, but I wouldn’t actually strangle the birds.”

“Have you watched Hitchock’s The Birds with him?” Tony asks and Rhodey’s eyes grow wide.

“You’re a genius! This is why we’re friends. Those damn budgies are going to get the boot!” he says excitedly.

Tony sits beside T’Challa, who is petting his horrible creature of a cat. The cat gives him a lazy look with its creepy goblin eyes and Tony reaches out, letting the cat sniff him for a moment before he pets the cat. As expected the cat doesn’t like his cold hands and reacts negatively, recoiling and giving Tony a dirty look. “Okay then, sorry,” he tells the cat even though he’s not sorry at all. This thing can go hang out in Shuri’s lab because she’s a freak who likes these things too. And Okoye. She loves these cats, has like seven of them. Tony doesn’t understand why Wakandans like these cats so much but they do.

T’Challa carefully calms the cat again and it settles back into his lap. “She doesn’t seem to like you much,” he says. “Which is strange because I don’t think I’ve seen any other cat dislike you. They seem to flock to you normally.”

Good luck in Wakanda, cats liking you. Probably has something to do with their cat gods but Tony is so many layers out of the loop there that he just takes the good luck and runs with it. “No idea, I’ve never met a cat that didn’t like me,” he says honestly. This one doesn’t either, if his hands aren’t cold but Tony refuses to pet it. Its weird and he doesn’t like it.

He reaches out again and lets the cat sniff him and because the cat does like him she lets him pet her again. His hands are still chilly so the cat recoils again, giving him another dirty look before jumping from T’Challa’s lap and running off. T’Challa looks surprised to see her go. “I don’t understand why she keeps doing that,” he says.

Oh Tony does, and he’s hoping T’Challa’s hairless venture will be in another country by the end of the week.

The cat stares at Tony, gross little goblin feet on the counter despite also spending time in the litter box, and he glares at it. “Mark my words, you weirdly bloated little beast, you will be out of this house soon,” he tells the cat.

Obviously the cat has little to say about this and when Tony walks by the cat trots along beside the counter because the damn thing loves him. Tony ignores the cat, coming to a stop in front of the cupboard with the mugs in it and he reaches up to get one. The cat, taking advantage of his vulnerability, rubs along his stomach, purring lightly. He wrinkles his nose and pulls a mug from the cupboard. “Get off the counter, you know you’re not supposed to be up here,” he tells the cat. She jumps down, thankfully, but instead of trotting off she rubs herself along his pant leg.

This cat has got to go back to a country of people that will appreciate its weird hairless nature.

Tony has successfully cold handed the cat out of T’Challa’s lap for the fifth time this week and he frowns. “I think I may take her back to Wakanda. She seemed to like it better there,” he says, skirting around the fact that the cat doesn’t like him.

He’s fine with that. “Sounds great, when do you leave with her?” he asks, trying and mostly failing to temper the excitement in his tone.

T’Challa frowns, but doesn’t respond to his excitement. “Sunday. She likes the sun there and its cold this time of year,” he says, giving the nearest window a dirty look. Yeah, T’Challa likes the cold a lot less than his cat does.

“Do you have to put sun screen on her to avoid sun burns?” he asks, thinking on his feet. The cat’s bald, right? Wouldn’t its skin burn in the sun? Is that a thing?

“Yes, they are particularly susceptible to sunburns. Its why she’s kept inside and mostly away from sun spots even if she likes them.” Yeah, T’Challa has built little warm cat spots all over the house. Which would be fine if the cat had hair.

“Hm. Well, hope she likes Wakanda,” he says in a chipper tone.

Tony likes to think he’s subtle but he isn’t. He doesn’t like the sphynx and T’Challa had no idea why until he happened to be checking over security cameras to see if the cat had gotten into the garbage again when he discovers something else instead.

As it turns out the cat quite likes Tony, which makes her behavior odd given that she tends to dislike being pet by him. That had him confused him at first, why that would be, until he exits the lab and goes to pet the cat for himself only to have her recoil. It takes a minute to figure out his hands are chilly and the cat didn’t like it, but he figures it out nonetheless.

T’Challa is holding his ugly hairless skin sack- cats were meant to have hair damnit- looking upset. “What? Did the cat get into the garbage again? Because I’m telling you, that garbage could trick a raccoon and if it can trick a raccoon the cat is fucked,” he says. Those bandit eyes bastards can get into anything. Tony’s got this one that keeps coming around, he’s named it Rocket, and that little fucker is the smartest animal he’s ever met. He’s managed to make Tony work to keep the raccoons out and once Rocket gets in a whole damn hoard shows up ready to eat his trash.

There’s raccoon unfriendly things in there though so they need to go find regular household trash instead of his surprisingly high tech but not quite raccoon proof dumpsters. But his latest design is keeping them out so far and if Rocket can’t get in the cat can’t get in.

“You’ve been intentionally alienating the cat,” T’Challa says, offended and Tony frowns.

“Have not, cat’s just like that.” Plausible deniability, there’s no way he knows about the cold hand thing.

T’Challa, because he’s obviously intent on proving his point walks over and pushes the cat into his arms. Tony awkwardly handles the cat, who immediately starts purring like a little traitor. T’Challa watches him intently and he’s certain he hasn’t kept the disgust off his face given that T’Challa narrows his eyes. “Why don’t you like the sphynx?” he asks and Tony hands the cat back, wrinkling his nose and shaking himself out.

“Okay, I am sorry but that thing looks like a mutated scrotum and I don’t like its texture! Cats were meant to have hair T’Challa!” He gives the cat a look and T’Challa gives him a look.

“This cat is a perfectly wonderful and loving pet! There is nothing wrong with her because she has no hair! And your friends have allergies, I thought a hairless cat was a good compromise,” he says.

Tony wrinkles his nose, “if there’s even the thought of pet dander in the air Steve is sneezing, he takes allergy meds to go out in public because he runs into people with pets everywhere. Just get a real cat with hair, please,” he almost begs.

T’Challa gives him another offended look, holding his abomination of a cat close. “Maybe I will get myself a new significant other!” he says, upset.

“I like cats, I love cats, just not that one. Send it back to Wakanda- it’ll get plenty of love and we can have a normal cat here. One with hair, maybe lots of hair. I have an eye on this big fluffy cat the size of a butterball turkey named Jake at the shelter a couple blocks away,” he says. “He’s cute, and he’s old so he’s less likely to get adopted, and he’s really sweet and he might be fat but I think he’s just like that.”

The cat is adorable, a real sweet fluff ball. Much better than T’Challa’s current idea of a pet. “You would get a cat from a shelter?” T’Challa asks, touched.

Tony rolls his eyes, “I only get cats from shelters, they need adopting. Please send that particular cat to Wakanda and we can get a lovely rescue cat.”

Tony is pissed. The cat is sitting in his lap with T’Challa’s version of a compromise on it. “You skinned another animal to stick on this cat so it has hair?” he asks, looking down at the furry vest the cat is wearing.

T’Challa looks offended, “the fur isn’t real, Tony. That’s barbaric. But now the cat has hair so you can’t whine,” he says, petting the cat’s still hairless head.

“All this does is make the cat look like a scrotum but extra hairy and demented,” he says.

“I worry for the scrotums of America if they look like this cat. Yours certainly doesn’t look like this and if it does by chance end up looking like the cat please seek medical assistance,” he tells Tony.

He sighs, looking off into the distance because T’Challa is being deliberately obtuse and this isn’t what he wanted. A normal cat with normal hair, is it too much to ask for?

Rhodey looks annoyed. “Sam got two more budgies,” he mumbles and Tony sighs.

“T’Challa thinks a fur vest solves the hairless cat problem,” he says.

“Tony,” a new voice says and they turn to face Pepper, who’s all but running over to them. Impressive, considering she’s in heels.

She comes to a stop looking quite like she’s at her wits end. “I love Natasha, you know I do, but I can’t take her creepy black widows anymore!” she says, wrinkling her nose. “Tell me how to get rid of them.”

“My plan to get rid of that sphynx and Sam’s budgies have both failed, what makes you think I’ll succeed now?” Tony asks.

“Nothing, but doing something about the spiders is the best I can ask for right now. How do I get rid of them?” she asks.

Tony shrugs and Pepper rolls her eyes. “You’re useless,” she mumbles. “Do you think sticking them in the freezer will kill them off?” she asks.

“Oh that’s mean to the spiders,” Tony says. They can’t help looking like that but Rhodey clearly has no sympathy.

“Bugs are a scourge on this planet, they need to go,” he says.

Tony sighs. “You’re moving in together, right? Claim the building has some pet rule that includes spiders and get her to leave them at Clint’s so he and Coulson can suffer with them,” he says.

Pepper considers this for a moment before nodding, “I can absolutely fake the paperwork for that. Thanks, you’re a genius,” she tells him before running off.

Rhodey frowns, “she’s going to make a fake lease for this? Man, I should have tried that on Sam.”

“He would have made you move to an apartment that allowed the birds,” Tony reminds him and Rhodey sighs.

“Four budgies are worse than two. They have conversations, its creepy. Creepier post watching The Birds. Now the stupid things are nightmare fuel,” he says, shaking his head. “And Sam loves the little bastards.”

“At least the birds aren’t featherless,” Tony mumbles.

“Behold, a man!” Rhodey says in a deep voice and they both start laughing.

Sam walks up to Tony looking extra suave in aviators he knows he stole off Rhodey, who stole them off Carol, who stole them off Hope. The glasses get around almost as much as his friends do within their friend group. “I’ve heard you’re an expert on pest control,” he says vaguely and Tony frowns.

“Uh, I’m definitely not.” Unless its calling pest control. That he can do.

“I will get rid of one budgie if you help me rid this friend group of the worst human to ever exist Bucky god damn Barnes. I know Rhodey hates them,” he says, using a good leverage point but Tony can’t just get rid of Bucky.

“Short of dying Steve won't let him go anywhere,” he points out.

“I’m not strictly opposed to murder,” Sam says even though Tony knows he absolutely is.

He sighs, “T’Challa honey, come here,” he calls. He’s rewarded with T’Challa appearing somewhat quick and lucky him he has his hideous pet in tow.

Sam doesn’t even need Tony’s hint to do what he wants, he wrinkles his nose immediately. “Why is that oversized nut sack wearing an orangutan pelt?” he asks and Tony gives T’Challa a look.

“I was going to get you that cat you liked from the shelter but since you and your ignorant friends have insulted this poor animal, who has done nothing wrong, I will not,” he says, walking off with the cat.

Tony turns to Sam. “I think I may have a job for Bucky in Romania, but you need to get rid of two budgies and learn how to keep the remaining two quiet at night.”

Sam nods, “yeah, alright. I was only bird sitting the other two budgies anyway,” he says, walking off and Tony has been played.

To add insult to injury Pepper sends him a thank you text because his spider plan panned out. He couldn’t save himself from T’Challa’s hairless cat but Pepper gets saved from the spiders? There’s something wrong with this planet.

#ironpanther #fanfiction #alternate universe

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abnerpory · 5 years

Text

YNTCD & Brave: kaleidoscope heart---of memories ( a novel)

First and foremost as a disclaimer, I am a firm believer in Kaylor/Gaylor. If you are not a believer you best unfollow me right now because we are diving DEEP into the pits of speculation.

Dexter Mayfield was a featured dancer in YNTCD.

This same Dexter Mayfield was a featured dancer in Sara Bareilles’ 2013 video for “Brave”—a song that was written by Sara and Jack Antonoff.

Brave came out April 23, 2013. Sara was inspired from the struggles that a close friend dealt with in regard to coming out as an adult. The lyric video features a bunch of young girls (very 22 vibe) making music and taking POLAROIDS. Who do we know that likes to make music and take polaroids???--NONE OTHER THAN MISS TAYLOR MUTHA FUCKIN SWIFT

The lyrics are really interesting:

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

Taylor creates phrases with her lyrics that are often the constant discussion of debate. Could this also be future potential inspiration for the Don’t Blame Me lyric: My drug is my baby

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Taylor is constantly facing backlash for her relationships ending badly.

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

And they settle ‘neath your skin

The media and the GP mock Taylor and we know that Taylor is known to be sensitive (according to Todrick), which is why she doesn’t google herself.

youtube

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

Taylor is too afraid to be her true self with the public, which is why she is constantly surrounding herself with men. Shadows referring to her doubts about coming out. If we want to go REAL EXTRA DEEP and predict the future: daisies need sunlight and remember to “step into the daylight and let it go”

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down

By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing

I see this as Taylor who in the past ignored the possibility of disappearing, but eventually during Rep came to the realization that disappearing is something she has to do. Everybody who's ever came out has had to do some soul searching. She planned her next step to being BRAVE enough to come out and disappeared before Reputation came out based on this advice from Sara.

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

I don’t think this foreshadowing and inspiration needs to be explained further...

Innocence, your history of silence

Won’t do you any good

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Taylor, as we know in her early days, was not vocal about her views and was very much portrayed as “America’s Sweetheart”-- innocent. Eventually she was scrutinized for it. Obviously, keeping her silence is something she can no longer do. Taylor can’t keep the act up...so, now we have this whole Lover Era where she is anything but silent. Let your words be anything but empty is definitely a reference to her songs that are about women that she masks as songs about boys.

Taylor sang Brave with Sara during the Red tour on August 19, 2013 at the Staples Center in LA. The performance is quite awkward. Taylor acts like an adorable fan girl.

In her May 9, 2019 Entertainment Weekly interview Taylor says:

“This time around I feel more comfortable being brave enough to be vulnerable, because my fans are brave enough to be vulnerable with me. Once people delve into the album, it’ll become pretty clear that that’s more of the fingerprint of this — that it’s much more of a singer-songwriter, personal journey than the last one.”

Umm...yeah, she said BRAVE

Both Sara and Taylor performed at Stonewall Inn on June 14, 2019. Sara sang Brave and Taylor sang Shake it Off.

Stonewall Inn is shown in the YNTCD music video and now we have come full circle.

After this Brave revelation I started digging deeper into other potential influences by Sara Bareilles on Taylor.

Taylor’s album RED came out October 22, 2012. Considering that Brave came out April 23, 2013 I think it’s safe to say the empty words Sara was referring to in Brave could be lyrics from RED.

Speaking of RED, did you know that Sara has a song called RED?????

youtube

“Red is a chapter about my year abroad living in Italy. I spent my junior year at UCLA abroad… living in Bologna, Italy. It was an incredible year but also a very emotional and isolating year. And it was going through those difficult things for the first time that actually solidified my relationship to music as a songwriter. So it was me discovering Joni Mitchell and discovering my own voice as a songwriter.”

youtube

“For me the song Red, as soon as I wrote that, that was the turning point for the record. That was when I realized this could be something different, this could be something unique. This is a song that makes me open up all of my ideas of the possibilities of where this album could go. It’s a song about a relationship that was wrong and difficult and complicated and hard and impossible; but you can’t forget about it, because it was Red... and it was passionate and in a lot of ways. It touched you in a more real way than you had ever experienced before and I think that kind of relationship really inspired a lot of the songs on this record.”

youtube

“The Lucky One is a song that I wrote while I was in Australia; and it kind of talks about some of my fears, through telling the story of other people I was inspired by. But, more than their stories being told I’m pretty much singing what I’m scared of in that song...Ending up kinda caught up in this whole thing and lonely and feeling misunderstood and feeling that when people think you’re lucky you’re really not. So, it kind of expresses my greatest fear of having this not end up being fun anymore of having this end up being a scary place. And some people get there. Some people end up there. So, it’s a story song and it’s something I’m really proud of because it kind of goes to a place that I’m terrified of. “

Both Sara and Taylor share feeling of loneliness. Is Taylor lonely and feeling misunderstood as a gay woman in a straight world?? We also need to remember that eventually Taylor did go off the grid so she could see what her life would be like if everything was gone.

Taylor, like Sara, is a fan of Joni Mitchell:

youtube

Even as a child.. (for some reason I can’t insert the video but follow the link to watch Taylor sing River as a child)

It's coming on Christmas,

They're cutting down trees.

She grew up on a god damn Christmas tree farm!

I'm gonna make a lot of money

Gonna quit this crazy scene.

She’s going to be a successful singer and leave her small (christmas tree farm) town life.

She tried hard to help me,

She put me at ease.

She loved me so naughty,

made me weak in the knees.

I'm so hard to handle,

I'm selfish and I'm sad.

Now I've gone and lost the best baby

That I've ever had.

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

The song is about the breakup of a romantic relationship and longing to escape her emotional bonds as they are painful to her. She tried hard to help me, She put me at ease could, for Taylor, refer to her mother... but She loved me so naughty, made me weak in the knees could very well be a first girl crush that broke Taylor’s heart.

Are you still here?? Ok, next you have Joni’s song Blue (losing him was blue like I’d never known)

Songs are like tattoos

You know I've been to sea before

Crown and anchor me

Or let me sail away

I mean, COME ON, she’s going to sea...possibly drowning from her “anchor” and is wearing a BLUE dress.

Ink on a pin

Underneath the skin

An empty space to fill in

As we remember from Brave: Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do, And they settle ‘neath your skin . Also doesn’t an empty space sound like a BLANK SPACE?

And how many times has Taylor referenced some sort of crown? A LOT!

Now my readers, if you are still with me (I know this is a lot), let’s discuss Sara’s album Kaleidoscope Heart because we all know how much Taylor loves her kaleidoscope references.

Walkin' through a crowd, the village is a glow

Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats

“I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memories; it just all comes back. But he never does."

Kaleidoscope Heart was released on September 7, 2010--plenty of time for Taylor to become influenced by it for RED, a little over 2 years later, and now ME!.

Sara says,

“I love the imagery of those words, and they’re really representative of how I envision my heart. It's a colorful but fragmented, ever-changing sum of all the bits and pieces that make it up. A kaleidoscope is the tool that helps make sense of the mess. Or at least makes it nice to look at."

Taylor’s mess is of course her relationships. The bits and pieces that she is trying to make sense of and make to look nice are her pubic dating persona (with men) and her private dating life (with women).

According to this article that got its information from Google:

A dream of a kaleidoscope "refers to a connection to your childhood". The kaleidoscope symbolizes a "release of blocked creativity and gives you the opportunity to see yourself in the bigger scope of life."

Going back to Taylor’s EW interview she shares her admiration for (very gay) King Princess...

nostalgic adjective

a : longing for or thinking fondly of a past time or condition

b : evocative of a longed-for past time or condition

King Princess sounds like a connection to childhood if you ask me. Taylor’s released block is obviously the fact that she has to write these straight songs when she’d rather be BRAVE and write about her truth.

IN CONCLUSION:

This is probably just a coincidence but Todrick just announced that he’s going to be in Waitress—a broadway musical composed and lyrics written by SARA BAREILLES

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izanyas · 7 years

Text

If Lost

Port mafia/Soukoku one-shot inspired by that one omake where the Black Lizard find a lost baby.

Rating: T Words: 4,100 No warnings.

If Lost

Higuchi had seen a lot of things in her time at the port mafia. The hierarchy here wasn't the kind she thought she'd find in any organization chart; outside of the boss and the five executives, not all of whom chose sub-execs, positions were appointed individually, temporarily, and sometimes randomly. Authority shifted from hand to hand depending on the present needs. Higuchi's went from bodyguard to secretary to handyman, and if she commandeered the Black Lizard's deployments whenever her boss gave her the go, they were still led, in truth, by Hirotsu.

She wasn't affected by the violence she lived in as much as some of them, even if her propension to worry for her coworkers made her vulnerable. Truly, it was this sort of situation that exhausted her the most—the eccentricities and quirks of the people she worked with and the disasters which they brought.

She had walked in on Kajii almost blowing himself up too many times to count; she had stopped Gin from cutting her nails with knives in public after the third time the people she was supposed to interrogate collapsed from the fear of seeing her do it in the back of the room; she had understood, after the second month, that it was better to knock loudly on Chuuya's door and wait for an answer, no matter the hour, rather than use her key to walk in and find him naked on top of some guy. Or under some guy. Or in other frankly unreasonable positions.

She really wondered how Chuuya found the time to have so much sex while still working twice as much as she did.

She still hadn't expected to follow Tachihara's shouting from the end of the harbor and find him, Gin, and Hirotsu arguing around a stroller.

There was a baby in it.

"Should I take a photo?" she asked faintly, holding up her phone.

"Not you too," Tachihara groaned, turning away from his glaring contest with Gin.

He tried to step toward her, but his hands were still on the stroller's handles—Higuchi made a noise of visceral disgust at the sight of the baby approaching her, asleep as it was, and held up her gun.

"What the fuck?" he said, freezing in his steps.

"I hate babies," she replied. All of them looked at her in consternation, and she blushed hotly, adding, "What? They're—they're drooling and noisy and full of germs and they're little monsters that grow inside bellies and scream their way out like savages—don't laugh at me! I've seen Alien! I don't want to remember I can grow one too!"

"You were a baby once," Hirotsu pointed out calmly.

"Please don't remind me," she replied, nauseous.

Gin snorted, and Higuchi flushed even further, all of her face warm to the touch. "Whose is it anyway?" she asked. She lowered her gun but didn't holster it.

"That's the problem," Tachihara said, not trying very hard not to laugh at her. "I found it here."

"Then what are we supposed to do with it?"

He shrugged.

At least the thing wasn't awake. It looked just like any other baby, chubby and pink and a little ugly, with very fine black hair at the top of its round head and ten ridiculously tiny and swollen-looking fingers. Higuchi couldn't tell what gender it was supposed to be, and she approached carefully, step by step, until she stood only two meters away. It was wearing pale blue clothes, a small long-sleeved shirt and a small pair of denim pants. The sort of thing she hadn't been able to find less than horrifying even as a child looking at dolls.

"Does it have a name tag or something?" she muttered, swallowing back her revulsion.

"It's a baby, not a dog." Tachihara was grinning so hard, she thought, his teeth were foolishly exposed to the full strength of her knuckles.

"Did you at least go through all that stuff under the seat, see if there's anything from its parents?"

Tachihara looked at Gin and Hirotsu in turn, but they were both staring at the sunlit sea in front of them with absent eyes. He clicked his tongue, offended, and crouched to do as Higuchi had suggested.

"There's nothing there," he mumbled a second later. "Just a bunch of blankets and toys."

He made one of them squeak loudly, and Higuchi jumped in place, heart rushing up to clog her throat. He was chuckling when he stood back up—his humor vanished as she raised the gun in his direction again menacingly.

They all stood around the stroller and stared at the sleeping monster. It didn't seem to have noticed the noise or the attention at all; its head rolled sideways, a trail of shiny saliva escaping from the corner of its mouth at whatever dream it was having. It was a warm and sunny spring day, thankfully, the wind surprisingly quiet even this close to the beach. The baby didn't look cold.

"Can you believe that thing came out of a womb?" Gin said after a while.

"Ew," Higuchi and Tachihara exclaimed in tandem.

"Ew, ew, ew—Gin, what the fuck—"

"Grow up," Hirotsu murmured, hitting Tachihara in the back of the head. "Will you react like this when your wife gives birth, boy?"

"I don't have a wife, old man."

"I'm never having kids," Higuchi said shakily. "Never. I swear it. I'd rather die."

"You already have my brother to take care of anyway," Gin replied.

"At least he doesn't drool."

Gin lifted an eyebrow as if to ask, Are you sure?

"What do we do?" Higuchi asked again, not wanting to explore any of the images that this brought to her mind.

She looked at Hirotsu hopefully, but all the man did was stare at the stroller in utter silence. It was all any of them did, truly. In other circumstances, if she weren't feeling so sick, Higuchi would have found it funny; these were people she regularly sent out to murder and fight, and she herself often saw her time split evenly between deskwork and the field. They had taken out organizations and tortured people trained to withstand it. They had burned down buildings still roamed by living humans. But they had no idea what to do with a lost child.

The baby squirmed without waking up.

"Let's just call Chuuya-san," Higuchi said in defeat.

The others released a collective breath of relief.

Chuuya hadn't seemed more than the regular kind of irritated upon being asked to join them, and Higuchi forced herself to smile and say thank you instead of blurting out her panic through the receiver. She felt bad for not telling him exactly what he was needed for, but it was better he be here to yell at them and take care of it than not.

She waited with apprehension next to the Black Lizard members, staring at the sea without seeing any of it. She held her breath every time the baby sighed; she twitched helplessly every time it moved.

Chuuya arrived within a few minutes, turning around the side of the building mostly hiding them from view. He stopped walking the second his eyes landed on the stroller, and for a moment all he did was look with a slack face, his coat still swaying gently around him.

Then he opened his mouth and said, "Tachihara."

"It's not mine!" Tachihara exploded. "I just found it, God damn it, why does everyone think—"

"I think I'd have noticed if Gin or Higuchi'd had babies. And what the fuck do you mean, you found it?"

Tachihara threw his hands up in the air. "I just did, okay? It was here! Alone! I was walking back to headquarters and I found it and then Gin and Hirotsu and Higuchi found me, and then we called you! All right? Just," he breathed in and pointed his index at Chuuya, ordering, "just deal with it."

Chuuya glanced at the hand Tachihara had extended toward him, unimpressed. Tachihara lowered it immediately, his face red from exertion and embarrassment alike.

"A baby," Chuuya muttered. "You called me to deal with a fucking baby."

"I'm sorry," Higuchi said pathetically.

He clicked his tongue and walked a little closer, peering inside the stroller and to the drooling, lax face of the thing inside with faint distaste. Higuchi had never related this much to anyone in her life.

"Any idea why it was here?" he asked. "Was it abandoned or…"

"It doesn't look like it," Hirotsu replied smoothly, as if he had done anything but stand there uselessly the whole time. "It looks healthy at least, appropriately dressed, the stroller looks new… It's probable that its parents lost it."

"Just drop it at an orphanage and be done with it, then, for fuck's sake."

"But what if its parents are looking for it?" Tachihara said hurriedly. "We should try to find them. They can't be far."

It made Higuchi look at him again. There was the faintest hint of distress in his tone and posture, and she remembered, suddenly, that Tachihara had grown up an orphan. It was all in his file. Abandoned at an orphanage at birth, he had run away from it before the age of twelve.

A quick glance in Chuuya's direction told her that he was looking at Tachihara as well. She wasn't surprised when he replied, "Fine," instead of trying to argue.

Next to her, Gin had pulled down her mask. She was smiling.

"I guess I'll just call the police or something," Chuuya muttered. "But you're on your own to drop it to a station. Fuckers still have a picture of my damn face from that casino fiasco five years ago."

"Good times."

"Watch your cheek, Gin."

The baby woke up as Chuuya was digging his own phone out of his coat.

They stared at it. It squirmed some more, blinking tiredly at them. Then it noticed that they weren't who it was used to, or something, and suddenly its mouth was open wide and screaming.

"Fuck," Chuuya said over the horridly loud wailing, "make it shut up, Higuchi!"

"No way," Higuchi replied, frozen all throughout. "I'm not touching it."

"Then Tachihara—"

"What if it needs its diaper changed?" Tachihara replied with unveiled horror.

Chuuya glared at Gin. "Oh, look," Gin said flatly, holding up her arms. A blade was caught between each of her fingers. "It seems my hands are suddenly full of knives."

Hirotsu had disappeared.

"This is your mess," Chuuya said between clenched teeth, once he was done looking around for him. "I shouldn't have to deal with it at all."

"Whatever you say, senpai," Gin replied easily. "But we might gain some unwanted attention if it goes on, that baby's really loud. The police already know your face, they'll definitely think you abducted it if they see you, and then whatever lengths shall Ozaki-sama have to go to in order to free you from jail?"

Higuchi looked at her in silence, her mouth gaping.

The baby's screams spiked up in volume again, making her wonder through her disgust how it wasn't ripping apart its own vocal cords—and then Chuuya grunted, "I fucking hate all of you."

He was stepping closer to the stroller before any of them could answer. The good thing with Chuuya was that once his mind was made, he never hesitated. He bent over the seat of the stroller with one last glare, daring them to say anything; he unbuckled the grey belts keeping the baby from falling forward; he slipped his hands behind its legs and back with a sound suspiciously close to shushing and lifted it in his arms.

Higuchi could only stare, riveted, as Chuuya sat the baby above his forearm and let it lean against his shoulder and neck, one hand gently braced at its nape. The baby seemed to revel in the proximity. Its screaming quieted to heaving hiccups, and it was probably staining Chuuya's collar with tears and snot and other unspeakable things that made Higuchi's very soul shudder at the mere thought, but Chuuya showed no sign of being bothered by it. He simply sighed, his mouth turned downward in annoyance but nothing more, and stroked the thing's back until it calmed down.

Once that was done, he said, "First one who laughs gets a whole month of Kajii-watching duty."

Tachihara choked on his budding snicker.

"You're practiced at this, Chuuya-dono," Hirotsu commented, reappearing out of nowhere.

Chuuya glared at him. "You don't need practice to hold a baby," he spat out. When the baby hiccuped loudly again, his shoulder shifted immediately to brace it. "What the hell is wrong with you guys, you use guns all the damn time, what's so scary about this that you'd rather keep your hands on a piece of junk that can malfunction and explode on you any second?"

"There's no way you haven't done that before," Higuchi replied weakly. "Look—it's almost sleeping again."

And it was. Its head had rolled to its side in Chuuya's hold, its eyes closing and opening slowly, its breathing evening out.

Chuuya withstood their inquisitive stares for another moment before relenting.

"Kouyou's secretary, Chise, she gave birth a year ago," he admitted quietly. His face was flushed now, red high on his cheeks and at the tip of his ears. He cleared his throat. "When, uh, when we visited her in the hospital, she wanted me to hold her. Her daughter, I mean."

He looked a little as if he were bracing himself now, his hold on the baby more defensive than strictly necessary. There was something quite ethereal about seeing him like this. Higuchi had witnessed many sides of Chuuya through the years, the sweat-drenched fighter and the sharp-dressed executive, the loosened version who sat with them on uncomfortable barstools and melted his anger out with wine, the man who snapped and yelled after the death of a subordinate. She had never before seen him like this, tense and blushing, his arms folded delicately around a child's body.

"Chise's kid calmed down quickly too," he continued, looking away. "Apparently they like it when I make them a little less heavy. With my ability. No idea why."

Higuchi heard herself murmur some sort of agreement from a distance, her own face strangely warm, her thoughts floating through a haze. Tachihara and Gin were wearing similar lost expressions as well.

The recognizable shutter sound of a camera reached them.

It took a long time for her to react. In that lapse of seconds she saw Chuuya tense through all of his body, his feet digging hard into concrete and his shoulders squaring themselves in preparation for a fight.

"Dazai," he said lowly. His head turned to look toward their side, his chin brushing over the baby's scalp. "I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Go ahead, Chuuya," a voice replied.

Higuchi snapped out of her confusion at last.

The man from the detective agency, Dazai Osamu, was standing some distance away. His eyes were fixed onto the screen of the phone he was holding in front of his face, and his mouth was straining at the corners. "After seeing that, I think I can finally die in peace," he went on.

The man-tiger was standing by his side. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to be swallowed whole by the ground.

"They'll have to collect your body in a bucket, I'll have sliced you so thin," Chuuya snarled.

"Promises, promises," Dazai replied without looking up.

"Delete that picture."

"Never."

"Dazai—"

"Senpai," Gin said quietly. Chuuya stopped and looked back at her—he was entirely crimson now, all the way down his neck. "The baby."

It had squirmed anew at the sound of his raised voice. Chuuya sucked in a furious breath but stilled, his hand rubbing over the child's back in afterthought. It pressed its face back into his neck and slept on.

Dazai looked up from his phone to watch it happen, and he seemed a little dazed too.

"I'm gonna get that phone," Chuuya whispered angrily, "and I'm going to send it flying out of the atmosphere."

Dazai's lips stretched widely. "I've already emailed the picture to the office," he replied.

"Fuck you."

Higuchi had an idea what sort of retort was at the tip of Dazai's tongue now, what with the way his eyes lit up, so she cut it in the making. "Chuuya-san, we're not allowed to attack the agency."

"I'm breaking this shitty alliance now."

"And risk me spilling out the mafia's dirty laundry to the right authorities?" Dazai interjected, still grinning. "Come on, Chuuya. Surely you can handle one picture in exchange for your freedom."

"You'd be in just as much trouble as me if you did that," Chuuya replied through his teeth. "You're a criminal."

"The only criminal thing here is how adorable you look with a baby in your arms."

Chuuya spluttered.

"Oh my God," Gin murmured from the back, sounding very close to gleeful. "Oh, this is gold."

"I'm going to frame that photo," and Dazai's voice was faraway now, set to a reality only he was privy to. "This is maybe the best day of my life. My new birthday. I'm going to celebrate it every year from now on."

"Please, shut up," Chuuya breathed onto his hand. He had raised it to his face carefully, his forearm still pressed against the baby's back, in a poor attempt to hide just how red his skin was.

"Dazai-san," the man-tiger said awkwardly. "Um. The kid."

"Oh, right."

The atmosphere may be broken through with nervous hilarity and crushing embarrassment, but Higuchi wasn't out of it enough not to raise up her guard as the agency members approached. Dazai flicked her a quick lopsided grin when he noticed. He raised his hands in surrender.

"There's a very distraught mother waiting at our office," he said placatingly. "I think she'd appreciate it if we delivered her son back to her as soon as possible."

There was a tense second, during which everyone stared at Dazai and Dazai himself stared at Chuuya, whose blush was finally abating.

Then—"Oh," Tachihara said. "Are you sure it's…"

"The description she gave us fits, Michizou-kun. She lost him about an hour ago at the top of the slope, same stroller, same clothes…" Dazai held his chin between his fingers. "She was afraid he'd been kidnapped, but it's likely she just forgot to secure the brakes and he rolled down the street all the way here while she was distracted. We're in mafia territory, it's not like a lot of people would've seen it."

"That was careless of her," Hirotsu said wisely.

"Wasn't it?" Dazai replied. "It's good he didn't get hurt. And we only had to follow the sound of his crying once we got here. Thanks for not calming him down too quickly, Chuuya."

"Go fuck yourself," Chuuya replied sharply. "We were gonna take the kid to the police anyway, it's not like he was in mortal danger. Stop patting yourself in the back."

He didn't make a move to attack or defend as he walked toward Dazai, though. Dazai watched him approach without a word, his lips still curved into a smile, his eyes glancing between Chuuya's face and the baby he was still holding. It vanished when Chuuya tried to hand the child over to him—his expression hardened for a second before he stepped out of reach, his hands limp by his sides.

They watched each other in silence, two steps separating them.

Higuchi had done her homework since first meeting Dazai. She knew that he and Chuuya had once been a team, she was aware of the frightened rumors surrounding Double Black, she had listened as Tachihara recalled the deployments he had witnessed then, no more than a child himself. She remembered one such conversation now, seeing the way time seemed to slow around their standing figures.

"It's like they never needed to talk," he had told her. "Or like—well, they talked, they argued a lot, but on the field they didn't really need to. And even when they yelled, sometimes you'd feel like there was a second conversation happening that you couldn't hear."

"You're an idiot," Chuuya said eventually. His voice had gone softer. "Well, whatever. Man-tiger," he called, "get over here."

Nakajima yelped. "W-what?"

Chuuya lifted the baby a little higher. "You don't expect me to carry him all the way to the agency, do you?" he asked.

"I can't hold a baby," Nakajima replied, horrified.

"I swear to God, the only babies here are all of you. Some detectives you are."

"Listen to him, Atsushi-kun," Dazai said, not looking away from Chuuya. "He's an expert baby-holder, as we've just seen. Must be the height making him feel closer to them than regular human beings."

Chuuya marched in Nakajima's direction with nothing more than a hiss of irritation. Nakajima seemed to have frozen in place in the second that followed, and he nodded unseeingly as Chuuya gave him quick instructions and slid the sleeping child into his arms, securing his hold for him. It was a little funny. Higuchi considered for a second taking out her phone again and snapping a picture of it to show Akutagawa later—but then Gin was elbowing her side and saying, "Look at Dazai," lowly enough not to be overheard.

Higuchi did. Dazai was still looking at Chuuya, still smiling, still standing right as he had a second ago; yet he looked nothing at all like he had then.

He already was different now, she knew, than he had been in the pictures she had found—shorter and round-faced, with hollow eyes and bloodstained clothes. Yet in that moment his face looked painted with a different brush, with newer and warmer colors. His smile had turned to a shallower, softer curve. The skin around his eyes had creased.

He seemed strangely oblivious of the fact that he was not alone; Higuchi realized, without knowing him at all, that this was not a smile meant to be seen by others.

Gin's phone didn't make a sound when she took the picture.

"Really," Higuchi muttered.

She shrugged, slipping the device back into her pocket. "It's only retribution. We can't let Dazai-san hold all the blackmail material."

"He's not the only one you're going to blackmail with that."

Gin tugged her mask back in place wordlessly. It was as good as a confession.

"Now get lost," Chuuya grunted in front of them, stepping away from Nakajima. The boy looked a little pale, but his hold on the baby was secure. It hadn't woken up during the transfer at all. "Dazai, you better not come by here again. I'll finish you off if you do."

"You keep saying sweet things like this and yet you never deliver."

Chuuya managed, by some miracle, to control his temper enough to just flip him off and walk back toward them. Dazai and Nakajima turned around the corner of the building again, disappearing from sight.

The scolding that followed was not as harsh as Higuchi had expected, although she was made to bow again and again alongside the others, apologizing profusely for bothering Chuuya over something she could have handled if she only had the brains to think. Gin was silent and poorly contrite, Tachihara embarrassed beyond measure, Hirotsu quietly complacent.

On the way back to headquarters, Higuchi walked by Chuuya's side. He was silent now, relaxed after yelling at them. He was never one hold grudges past the point of what he considered to be just reprimand. This attitude had made him popular before Higuchi even joined the mafia, and it hadn't taken her very long to be of the same mind. There weren't many things she was proud of and a lot more she felt helpless around; but Chuuya had never once hesitated to trust her or rely on her, and it hadn't been six months before she was given a spare key to his place in case of emergency. As far as she knew, the only other person in the possession of one was Ozaki.

"I'm really sorry," she couldn't help but say again.

Chuuya blinked slowly, dragging himself out of his own thoughts. "It's fine, Higuchi," he replied. "I'd have probably panicked for a while if I'd found the kid on my own too."

"It's a shame Dazai showed up."

"Yeah." Chuuya's eyes flew over her shoulder to stare at the unending see beyond, sunlight pouring over him warmly, his collar still stained from the baby's weeping. "A shame."

He was smiling.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #nakahara chuuya #higuchi ichiyou #etc #fic: if lost

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gillmenoww · 7 years

Text

Harper Avery part two!

It’s stupid. She’s beyond stupid. And she kind of hates herself. She doesn’t even know why she’s here. It’s not like she’s going to win anyway but her hands are shaking and she can’t remember if she sprayed perfume again before leaving and she really doesn’t know if this dress is as nice as she’d first believed it was. It’s a deep red; it leaves her shoulders bare and flows the entire length of her body. Her hair is slightly curled and falls far below her shoulders. When she’d brought it, she’d felt like a princess but now she just feels out of place and incredibly lonely.

The venue is huge and she’s so far from home. Though in truth she’s been far from home for more than just tonight. Although she recognises so many faces she really doesn’t feel like talking to anyone so she simply finds her seat and waits impatiently for the night to be over.

Before the ceremony begins a young man with a kind smile and expensive suit makes his way to Callie and she offers him a nervous smile in response.

“Callie Torres?“

When he receives an intrigued nod in response he simply offers the dusty pink rose, Callie’s most favourite kind, and then leaves before she has chance to question him at all. She runs a finger against the delicate petals and smiles despite herself. She doesn’t know why but she knows it’ll be okay.

And somehow, in some crazy turn of events, she does win. She wins. She, Calliope Torres, is a Harper Avery award winner. She had won. But no one is there to see it. Because her ex husband is dead, her wife is now her ex wife and her girlfriend is now nothing but a stranger she might awkwardly smile at in passing. And everything sucks.

For some reason she holds the rose in her hand as she makes her way to the front, legs shaking unsteadily and the smile on her face only just managing to hide the terror she feels in that moment.

Bracing herself, Callie finally looks out into the crowd, everyone applauding and staring at her in wonder as though she’d achieved someone completely magnificent. And in truth, she kind of had. It takes her less than ten seconds to spot her. It’s impossible not to. She’s smiling the brightest, clapping the hardest and cheering the loudest. Her blonde hair looks freshly cut but still longer than Callie remembers and she wears a black dress and high heels that make her legs look impossibly long. She looks like a dream.

When their eyes meet, Callie’s smile is beaming and Arizona’s matches it equally. She can feel the pride from all the way on the stage and it makes her heart beat faster in a completely different way. She holds the rose up slightly and mouths a thank you and Arizona simply holds her hand against her chest as though worried it might flee from her chest as the scurry of emotions she’s feeling. Finally, when the agony of public speaking and nervous but heartfelt speech is over, Callie makes her way through the crowd towards blue eyes that haven’t stopped staring in hours.

Except she can’t find them. She knows Arizona was just there, just within reach. But she’s no longer hiding at the back where she’d been all evening and Callie can feel something panicky floating around her stomach. She heads to the bathroom and hopes maybe she’ll find the missing blonde.

Arizona is standing by the mirror, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. She smiles gently when she spots Callie and slowly turns to face her.

"You’re crying?” It’s worded like a question but it’s more of a statement and they both know it.

She just smiles, sniffling softly, “I’m just proud, Calliope. I’m so incredibly proud. You’ve done indescribable things and you have a huge, beautiful heart. I’m glad the world is finally recognising that.“

Callie tears up, unable to help herself because she can feel it. She can feel the sincerity, the truth behind the words and it makes her feel things she has no right to feel at all.

“I can’t believe you actually thought there was a chance I wouldn’t turn up tonight,” Arizona laughs and Callie joins in, stepping closer without even meaning to.

"I’m so glad you did.”

The pull they have on each other is magnetic. It always has been. A gentle stroke down an arm, a sharp intake of breath from one or perhaps both of them. It’s familiar and new and kind of wonderful.

"You feel so far away, Calliope.”

Callie’s fingers tuck blonde hair behind an ear in a familiar dance she knows all too well, “I’ve never been far away, not from you. Never from you."

Without either realising, their hands are entwined, spaces between fingers made perfectly for the other. Together but not together at all, they make their way back into the main room, the music is loud but gentle and a party of sorts is underway.

Callie grins in that innocent and yet completely naughty way she has. It’s always been utterly addictive to Arizona and so she responds in kind.

"Dance with me?”

“I don’t dance, Calliope."

"Hmm, that’s not what I remember.”

Arizona’s mind flits back to easier, happier times. She can’t help but laugh gleefully, memories of music and laughter and of something lost long ago flicker in front of her and somehow she’s being led to the middle of the dance floor and doesn’t mind at all. They let their arms find each other, clinging to something that is both old and new, terrifying and intoxicatingly wonderful.

They stand together, swaying gently to the song and ignoring those around them. Ex-girlfriends, ex-wives. Friends? Something so much more than friends but not enough. Never enough.

But it’s okay. Because now, for right now, life is going on in its usual, crazy, miraculous way. Callie is holding the only woman she has ever felt truly loved by, stroking parts of her skin she has no claim over and her fingers ghost over it in a way she’s never forgotten, tracing skin she’s once loved with her hands and tongue and the softest of lips.

The entire evening is spent in this way, stopping only for drinks or when the heat and closeness becomes too much and then coming together again when it’s not enough at all. The pair laugh, talk, and reconnect and neither want it to end but Callie is drunk, too drunk and Arizona is slightly less and knows it can’t last forever. Nothing does.

“You’re very drunk. Home time, huh?” Arizona finally pulls away and the constant ache from the last few years claws its way back and makes itself at home in her heart again.

“Hey, you drank just as much as me!” Callie is pouting and it’s stupidly adorable.

“Well my seemingly innate need to keep you and also your beautiful award safe is keeping me somewhat sober. I’ll probably be spewing as soon as I’m home.”

The brunette’s nose crinkles in disgust, “ew, not on me.” When Arizona laughs, it flutters though her bones and Callie can only grin. “No Cal’, not on you.”

This time Callie’s nose crinkles more and she shakes her head, stopping them in the path they were making towards the exit and dropping Arizona’s hand that had been swinging with her own, “No. Don’t call me Cal’. Mark called me Cal’, my friends call me Cal’, you call me Calliope,” her nod is decisive though slightly wobbly through drink.

Arizona looks up at the taller women, head titled slightly as she watches her, inquisitive but not hurt, simply wondering how a delightfully intoxicated Calliope might answer her, “If I’m not your friend, what am I?”

“You’re my Arizona!”

Oh but of course.

When Callie taps her nose with a grin Arizona is just totally head over heels. She really always has been.

It’s no huge revelation though that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Because she’d never stopped loving her ex-wife and the gap between them now feels both bigger and smaller than ever. It’s one big juxtaposition but their love always has been. Too much but not enough. Too suffocating but so far away. Always ‘they almost made it’ never ‘they really did it’.

Callie can’t take her eyes off of the woman. For her it had been a huge revelation. This one moment in time she can pinpoint. Laying in bed too many miles away from the only person she wants to be close to. No, Callie had never stopped loving Arizona but it had taken her far too long to realise it.

Eventually, finally, Arizona has Callie in her hotel room. The right one this time, not the poor strangers they’d woken up after repeatedly using the key card on the lock of the door Callie swore blind was hers. It wasn’t.

Callie perches on the end of the bed, pyjamas next to her as she holds the glass of water Arizona fetched for her between two hands and gulps it back greedily. She fumbles with her clothes, not bothering to stand while she does it and suddenly she’s in nothing but underwear and god, Arizona swears she’s more beautiful than she ever, ever has been.

“Oh.” The blonde half gasps and doesn’t realise she has until Callie’s head snaps up to look at her.

Brown eyes are wide and nervous and she suddenly looks so desperately vulnerable, standing in matching pink underwear with her painted red toes nervously digging into the carpet.

“You too.”

“Me too what?”

“I want to see you too. I haven’t seen you in so long, Arizona.”

And that’s how Arizona finds herself silently stripping in a hotel room, letting her dress fall to the floor beside her and arms fall to her side as she looks anywhere but at her ex-wife. She’s half naked and terrified and oh how she wishes she’d learnt to say no to this woman long ago.

The sight, Arizona’s curly hair bouncing down her naked skin, blue eyes twinkling with nerves and something utterly beautiful, her prosthetic leg made for wearing heels, it transports Callie to a time long ago. She pictures the first time Arizona had worn this leg and how she’d physically ached to touch her, to show her how she loved this Arizona and the old Arizona and any form of Arizona. She hadn’t wanted to fix her, there was nothing at all to fix.

The memory makes Callie stumble slightly and has to, needs to reach out and touch her. So she does. Her hands fall to Arizona’s hips and pulls her body close, desperately close. Neither knows which gasp belongs to who but they stand in their underwear, bodies flush against each other and somehow it’s not quite as scary as before. Because they are Callie and Arizona and that’s all the explanation they need.

They all talk about first kisses with a love, with someone who will be or already is important to you. But nobody talks about these kisses. The kisses after you’ve been away for so long that you’ve forgotten how the other tasted and yet you haven’t forgotten at all because how could you? The kisses that are like coming home when you hadn’t realised you’d ever been away. These kisses, the ‘I’ve missed you, I’ve craved you and ached for you and oh god, I’m so happy you’re here kisses’? Well they’re kind of the best.

Arizona finds herself laying on the bed and she’s not sure she has the strength to stop what she’s sure is about to happen. Except it doesn’t. Callie lays above her and she’s kissing every inch of skin she can find, hands tracing along and following the trail of kisses left behind. She can feel the tears fall onto her pale skin but she doesn’t question it because her own have been falling for a while now.

Eventually, after Callie removes her leg and the rest of both of their underwear, Arizona finds herself swept up by the other women. She doesn’t quite know how it happened but they’re curled under the duvet and she lays across Callie, safely in her arms like she’s never been away.

And they sleep. Plump lips pressed sweetly against a forehead that is tucked under her chin, hands and legs tangled, eyelashes fluttering and breath gently blowing against a neck.

They wake in much the same way but neither move or blink and hardly breathe for fear of breaking whatever had fallen over them in their drunken haze.

It’s Callie that finally speaks, her fingers digging slightly harder into Arizona’s bare skin as though trying to keep her grounded, “If I admit I’m awake will this all be a dream?"

Arizona lets her eyes open and watches her fingers draw patterns on skin she has missed so much, “not if you don’t want it to be.”

This time it does happen. It’s soft, slow, and gentle and oh god, it feels like nothing they’ve ever experienced. When that feeling rocks them both, takes both their breaths away at the same time and renders them both out of action, it all falls back into place.

–

No one knows yet. Or at least they haven’t officially told anybody yet, except for Sofia. But of course they all know. They watched it happen the first time and they’re watching it happen again. But this time it’s different. Something is there that wasn’t there before.

They all notice the looks, the gentle caresses when they think nobody is paying attention. They see the way Callie will catch Arizona’s hand for half a second if they pass each other in a corridor and how Arizona always brings in two lunches because she’s made too much for just herself. It’s an old habit, she tells them. An old habit she’d only recently found, they all tease when neither are around.

They’ve seen it. The blinding smile on Arizona’s face since Callie’s first day back, the extra bounce in Callie’s step whenever a certain blonde is around.

They’ve heard the laughter and giggles coming from unsurprisingly locked on-call rooms. They’ve rolled their eyes at Callie’s hand falling to Arizona’s back when they’re walking or Arizona letting her head fall against the brunette’s shoulder as she laughs freely at a joke or cries at losing a patient.

They’ve all seen it and none of them bother to act surprised when they finally do announce their reunion. It makes Arizona pout but Callie quickly kisses it away and Alex tries hard not to puke.

–

Their home is new and huge and this time it has a pool and a swing set and sometime later it has a coop for chickens and sometime after that one of the spare rooms becomes a nursery for a tiny baby girl who has no home. They name her Maddie and she quickly becomes Torres girl, just like the rest of her family.

Calliope Torres' Harper Avery sits pride of place in their front room and both women smile every time they see it.

Arizona Torres' joins it a short while later.

#this took days and I wanted it posted so it's not proofread #sorry #😫

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