#like i kind of understood cat's thing with prison reid

[snarkylinda]

I should be studying, showering, sleeping, doing literally anything else but instead, I am going to do a long post about a mentally ill blorbo because I am mentally ill myself.

SO! We all make fun of Spencer let me take my vest off and lower my gun for no reason Reid, it's a meme at this point- but that....tendency is a consequence of what I find the most fascinating about his character as a whole....his relationships- or more like, the relationships he makes up in his head.

Before I go into details I want to leave something very clear that anyone that has seen even one season of the funny cop show has noticed: Spencer is highly obsessive.

Now I am not talking about his fun little facts or that he likes star streak and doctor who obsession- those are hyperfixations, and even tho MY hyperfixation it's ruining my life, his are actually harmless and overall make him happy.

His obsessive nature had almost cost him his career, if not his life, multiple times.

If you stop to think about it in depth, why does Reid abandon all common sense when it comes to certain UnSubs, certain cases? well the most evident answer is that he projects whatever trauma of the week they decide to explore onto them- and yes, that is the nick of things. He pulled that stunt on Elephant's memory because he related to Owen's harassment story, he wanted to help Nathan because he understood being afraid of your own mind turning against you, he wanted to help Adam because he couldn't save Tobias. You get the drill- but....that is not always the case.

With the guy that Lindsey's dad murdered- Spencer didn't relate to him, he was just a piece of shit. How about Samantha? (I know there is a theory about William....doing shit to Reid when he was younger and while I can see it, for the sake of argument I will take her case into consideration) The father of the victim on "Identity"? I can name another example but this one I am going to save for last since it's the reason for me making this post-

And one can argue "Well, he is just a really nice guy" and while that is true- what I named before doesn't always apply, Spencer's compassion has a very clear, marked limit.

His relationships.

When Cyrus was killed in front of him by Morgan, Reid barely blinked- hell, he fucking SASSED him. Why? because he hurt Emily.

All sympathy he could have had for Cat before she ruined his life DESPITE kind of empathizing with her story based on what HE was going through went out of the window because she and her lil gang terrorized Penelope for months.

He felt compassion for Adam, but not for his father who he claimed was the true monster of this story in the aftermath.

When Maeve told her her ex was dead, he quickly brushed that aside to ask her if SHE was alright.

And ofc, we all know what happened in prison after his friend there was murdered.

Reid is often associated with UnSubs not only because of how his backstory aligned with their motivations (mental health issues, bullying, absent parent, losing a loved one) but because most of these crimes are passional responses- and Spencer can be extremely passional, to a point where it clouds his judgment.

Now...you might be thinking "ok that is all nice and good, but where does the obsession come into play? all that I know is that he is a cinnamon roll that loves his friends and has some really deep projection issues he really needs to work on" and you are not wrong, but what made me make this fucking thesis in the first place its something else....one of my favorite things to analyze about fictional characters in this kind of setting it's "the needs of one vs the greater good" thing.

Now let's be fr, we all as human beings will always, ALWAYS prioritize those close to us over literal strangers. Even among the best, most empathic people that is just how it is, that emotional hierarchy will always be there- what differentiates us is how much it affects our actions.

Now with a job like this, there will always be this conflict among the menbers- obviously, their families and even each other will always be a priority, but on working hours their focus HAS to be on doing their job, following the rules and just being as professional as humanly possible- even tho it sometimes kills them inside since it just doesn't feels right.

Reid actually doesn't face this debate that much- because all common sense, respect for authority and protocol goes out of the fucking window whenever he obsesses over a new blorbo lmao.

Had you heard the phrase "One death is a tragedy, a hundred is a statistic"? nothing rings more true that with Dr. Reid right here. He is able to keep his cool while touching mangled corpses and discussing all the shit that happened to them- occasionally looking horrified if it's messed up enough, but other than that he is able to keep the same level of professionalism and compartmentalization as his co-workers.

Annnnnnd then he gets to know a victim, a witness, or an unsub and the vest leaves his torso, his gun folds itself and his IQ lowers. Alot.

Let's get back to the example I put of the guy that was murdered by Lindsey's dad- in that moment he wasn't a murderer to Reid, in that moment all he saw was a teenager begging for his life and HE could be the only to save him- he couldn't. He obsessed over that instead of what the guy did and that lead him to desire to insert Diluid inside of him after 10 months of sobriety, not to mention being A BIG factor in what he does on Elephant's Memory.

"I thought I could save this one" was his response when Hotch scolded him.

Spencer literally can't forget shit. So he tries to make sure that when he knows someone, even if is on a dying moment like the mentioned UnSub, he can save them. He forms some kind of bond with someone and they stop being an face and a name adhered to his board that he is determined to save/get justice for because is his literal job and he is overall a good person. In his mind, it becomes his responsibility whenever that person it's saved, and when that crosses over obsessive territory and his job, that makes it mandatory to always put the need of the many vs the one (especially if it's an unsub) well....

It's when he spiral and puts his career/the case in jeopardy at best, and his life at worst, no to mention what that shit does to his already questionable mental health.

In the second ep of the tenth season, Reid confesses to Morgan that after killing the LDSK, it suddenly hit him and he obsessed over all the "what ifs", at that moment that guy wasn't the LDSK that almost got him, his boss and a hospital full of mortal hostages in danger- he was the man that Spencer Reid killed- and it only ended when he stopped obsessed over HIM and started to put his victim's faces on his wall, forcing his focus on them instead.

He was more focused on the father of the victim on "identity" than the actual unsub himself because years before he had stopped him from seeing his daughter, and had made enough of an impact to be remembered by him in the present. Thanks to that bond, that little relationship, Spencer was able to put himself between a highly emotional distraught father's gun and the man he wanted to kill, to protect him.

He didn't get to personally know Samantha until the end- but he got to meet the scumbag that raped her. Add that to the already soft spot he has for children and you have a very angry Reid ready to do literally anything to make sure this woman that didn't even knew him was safe.

And ironically enough, what prompt me to do this thesis wasn't even one of those nice touchy feeling moments Spencer had with someone he bonded over- either personally or on a parasocial level- but one where he was wrong, but was about to risk a whole case over it. Rock Creek Park.

In that episode, Spencer and this other girl are keeping watch over this mafia thing so this politician guy's wife cane come back (as you can see I pay attention to certain scenes more that others lmao) and you can see the exact moment where the mission....stops being Spencer's priority.

After hearing this girl's conversation with her mother, she stopped being "the maid" and became someone Spencer's "knows" and so this leads to....this

....why did I bother with that text block when this scene spills it out- Anyways.

I dunno why but Rossi's reaction always sends me to the stratosphere- he knows.

Anyways, turns out that the helpless maid was actually on it all along and Reid almost throws the entire case off over nothing- *slows clap*

Ok ok, this might seem like I am slandering my boy but as fun as it is to make fun of him, this is exactly why I love him. This recklessness as a result of tunnel vision it's....concerning considering his line of work, and his eagerness to go far and beyond for someone he barely knows just because he knows them, above everything else and he is there, and can't bare the thought of not doing anything for them., to have their death's imprinted on his memory.

In conclusion- he ain't lawful good/neutral like the first few episodes want to make you think, he is chaotic good. And a mess. And I love him.

#criminal minds #spencer reid

[jazajas]

i've never posted before on this tag but i have to say:

despite being one of my favorite characters within the show, i sometimes cannot stand the drama that surrounds spencer reid.

i'm not kidding, i skipped through most of the prison reid bits because of how unreasonably anxious it made me feel. the following interactions with cat also, i skipped a lot of that for most of the same reason.

currently i'm on the episode in season 15 where some random lady wants cat set free and she just walked into the BAU in like a mask or something and i genuinely CANNOT right now.

#i dont know why #but prison reid made me anxious #and cat just makes me angry #and at this point i feel like the character of cat herself is getting a little #overused i think is the word i want to use #like i kind of understood cat's thing with prison reid #but the second that they brought up cat with this latest plot #i was just done #i genuinely thought that people were just being a bit hard on the later seasons #but no they're not that great #think the writers ran out of ideas #but also they just kept piling all the trauma onto reid #like please let me get some background into the other characters #i need to stop or else this is going to just be a complete rant about character in the tags #criminal minds #spender reid

[moon-light-jukebox]

Learning Styles - [Reid x Reader]

Summary: Reader has worked hard to get to the FBI, but a misunderstanding has her feeling insecure. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid / Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG

Content Warning: Mention of normal criminal minds stuff briefly. 

A/n: I got these two requests and they were so similar I decided to combine them. I hope that’s okay, but I feel like the stories would have been almost identical. 

Requests:  - I have a fic suggestion. Reader pretends to be dumb but is actually really smart. I’m thinking of that quote about marilyn ”you have to be really smart to pretend to be dumb”. One day spencer realizes that reader is smarter than she lets people know.

- Hi! Can I request a spencer reid x reader fic where reader isn't great with numbers but brilliant with behaviour and humanities (i.e. literature, history, sociology, up to you)? Maybe a dash of insecurity to spice things up?

-- Learning Styles -- 

My favorite professor in college told me that everyone learns differently; what works for one person won’t work in the same way for another. We are all different human beings that are shaped in different ways.

I had always been oddly insecure about my intelligence level. One of my earliest memories was my mother yelling at me while I sat at the kitchen table when I was in first grade. I was the only kid in my class who still hadn’t learned how to read. I just didn’t understand. All of my friends were progressing so much quicker than me and my mother was losing patience.

It wasn’t until my grandmother stepped in that everything changed. My elementary school teacher was training children to read by memorizing sight words, a concept I didn’t understand. When my grandmother sat down and taught me phonics. I distinctly remember everything snapping into place.

I was in 1st grade and reading at a 7th-grade level by Christmas. Once I finally understood my learning style, I really began to thrive.

But no matter what I did, I could still hear my mother yelling at me, telling me I was stupid.

In my line of work, I see just how much the throw away comments that parents make can shape a child’s development. Luckily, those comments just made me a bit insecure, not a murderer.

Up until I was 22, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do beyond this desire I had to help people. SSA David Rossi had come to guest lecture in one of my abnormal psych classes during undergrad. After I heard him speak, I was done. I couldn’t have done anything else with my life. I had obtained my master’s in psychology before I joined the FBI.

It took some time, but I was finally assigned to the Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico. I was so excited on my first day that I remember my hands physically shaking.

Until they weren’t.

I can still remember my first day so clearly. SSA Hotchner had introduced me to the team, saving the “best” for last.

“And this is Dr. Spencer Reid,” he had said. “He’s our expert on…well, everything.”

Reid was my age and he had his Ph.D. I remember feeling awed by him.

Until I didn’t.

"I hold 3 Ph.D.'s in Chemistry, Engineering, and Mathematics. I also have BAs in psychology and sociology."

I remember my jaw almost hitting the floor. While I was impressed by him, I wasn’t insecure about my place on the team.

Until I was.

My grandmother may have helped me master reading, which opened the door to me mastering anything else I put my mind to…except math.

I was fine at statistics, luckily. You couldn’t get a psych degree without a ton of statistics work. But statistics was different, I could see the practical use of statistics. I just couldn’t wrap my head around calculus or algebra.

On my first case with the team, Reid had calculated some insane mathematical equations on the whiteboard, running down the probabilities and applying a mathematical formula to the unsub’s behavior.

It wasn't until later, after the case was solved when I was standing in front of the whiteboard that my confidence was hit. Reid had come into the room and saw me looking at his work.

“Don’t bother trying to understand it,” he had said. “You’d have to be a genius to understand what I do.”

I didn’t have a word to describe the feeling that settled in my stomach at his words, I wasn’t sure such a word existed. The feeling was cold and heavy, but also made my body burn with shame.

I had just offered him a tight smile before I left the room.

On the plane home I had made a decision. I was no match for Dr. Reid, I doubt anyone was. So, I would take myself out of the competition. I couldn’t get hurt if I wasn’t playing the game.

And that is how the next year of my life went. I allowed Dr. Reid to explain things to me that I was an expert in, never saying a word. I acted like I didn't understand concepts that I had written papers on. The only thing I didn't dumb down was my profiling skills. Those were necessary for my job and for saving lives.

I don’t think anyone realized what I was doing.

Until they did.

--

The team had been called to Colorado to assist in capturing a serial rapist.

All of our cases bothered me, every last one…but something about ones with this vile element really struck me.

We had the unsub’s name, Tyler Childress. He had spent time in prison for sexual assault and burglary. It seems while he was in prison, he spent time perfecting his methods; it was only by pure luck that we found his fingerprint inside the victim’s house, making him the main suspect.

When we paid Mr. Childress a visit, he had managed to get the drop on Prentiss and Morgan, allowing them to escape. Morgan was furious.

All of us were sitting around a conference table in the local prescient while we let Dr. Reid talk.

I was trying to be calm, I was, but my nails were digging into my palm so deeply I was worried I was about to draw blood.

“Guys,” the expert on everything said. “He has to have some sort of accomplice.”

Rossi just sighed. “But the profile doesn’t point to him being the sort to do well with others; he’s a narcissist.”

Reid wouldn’t budge. “I know that, but he isn’t intelligent enough to pull this off alone. He’s just not. He had an IQ test done when he was 20. He scored in the mentally handicapped range. I’m telling you he has to have help.”

“Are you sure, Reid?” Hotch asked.

“Positive. I have his results right here.”

“IQ tests aren’t a good measure of intelligence on their own.”

I was so startled that someone had contradicted Dr. Reid that it took me a second to realize it was me who had contradicted him.

He turned to face me; his brown eyes wide. “What?”

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. “IQ tests aren’t a good measure of intelligence.”

Dr. Reid laughed. He laughed at me like my comment was funny. “I don’t know where you heard that,” he began.

But I interrupted him. "IQ tests are classist and oftentimes racist. The man who invented the IQ test never intended for it to be used as a complete measure of intelligence. He regretted making the test.”

Reid sputtered. “You…it’s not racist!”

“Yes. It. Is.” I ground out. “If it wasn’t it wouldn’t be illegal to administer an IQ test to a black child in the state of California.”

"Wait, it's illegal to do that?" JJ asked, her brows drawn together.

"Yes. There was a court case in the 1970s over it. Teachers were using tests to separate white children from black children. The black children were put into special education classes they didn’t need to be in. Just because the teachers didn’t want those children in their classrooms.”

I should have stopped, but I was on a role. “They’re also inherently classist. How can you expect a child to answer a question about Romeo and Juliet if they haven’t heard of it?”

That had Dr. Reid scoffing. “Everyone has heard of it.”

I shot to my feet, unable to hold back anymore. “No, they haven’t. Children in underfunded schools that don’t have access to resources might not have heard about the most famous play in history because their school wasn’t able to provide the materials to teach them about it. There was a study done in a remote part of Russia right after the IQ test was invented. Every. Single. Person. Scored in the mentally handicapped range. Because they didn’t understand.”

I knew my voice was rising but I couldn’t stop myself. “Once the researcher took the questions and applied them to things they understood, they all scored as above average. They didn’t understand math as an abstract concept, but they understood it when it was applied to their businesses, to something they actually knew about.”

I cleared my throat. “The test isn’t fair, it’s not equal. Tyler Childress didn’t go to a good school and he didn’t have a stable home life. You can’t use one measure to calculate his intelligence. He’s gotten away with 7 assaults so far that we know of. He’s not stupid.”

The entire room was silent once I had stopped speaking. I couldn’t bring myself to regret it though. What kind of person was I if I played dumb because I was afraid of being mocked when a monster was out there attacking women? No, those women deserved to have me at my best.

And I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t give it to them.

Rossi spoke first, his eyes twinkling when he looked at me. “Took you long enough,” he said. “But y/n is right. We trust the profile; we don’t let personal bias cloud the way. That’s how we catch this bastard.”

--

Later that day, we were cleaning up the conference room while the local police processed Tyler Childress.

Pathological narcissism is a complex disorder, but we followed the profile and Rossi was right. Hotch set up a press conference in which JJ and Prentiss took center stage. They tore Childress’s ego to shreds on live television.

His narcissism wouldn’t allow that to slide. He got angry, he made a mistake, and we got him before anyone else got hurt.  

While the cat was out of the bag about my intelligence and that made me nervous, I couldn't regret any of it. I got to be the one to tell our last victim that we got him. I got to hug her while she cried because now that he was locked up, she felt like her healing could begin. I wasn’t sure if my rant about structural racism and the classism of IQ tests actually helped anything, but that didn’t really matter. There was one less monster in the shadows.

Today was a good day.

I was alone in the conference room, untacking photos from the evidence board when I heard someone clear their throat from behind me. I turned my head to meet the wide, honey brown eyes of Dr. Spencer Reid.

Oh boy, I thought. “What’s up, Reid?”

He shifted from foot to foot, his hands twisting in front of him before he crossed his arms over his chest. “I asked Garcia to look into you.”

My eyebrows drew together. “I’m pretty sure any nefarious things I had done would have popped up on my initial background check.”

“Right, I didn’t mean like that,” he mumbled, the apples of his cheeks turning pink. “I asked her to look into you academically.”

Shit.

He went on. “You double majored in psychology and sociology before you got a master’s in cultural psychology. She pulled your thesis. I just read it.”

“I see.” I turned my attention back to the board.

“You also guest lecture on cross-cultural psychology at Georgetown several times a year. And you’ve co-authored two papers since I’ve known you.”

Meh, it’s three. But that doesn’t matter. “Did you read those too?”

I took his silence as confirmation.

He was so quiet I almost thought he had left, but the crackle of energy I felt in the air told me he hadn’t. “Do you need something, Dr. Reid?”

"Why didn't you get your Ph.D.?"

I had answered that question many, many times. “I didn’t need a doctorate to do what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to waste time. Once I figured out what I wanted, I charged at it.” Which was a far more honest answer than most people got about that from me.

“W-why did you pretend to be dumb?” he rasped out, causing me to look back at him. “32 days ago, you let me explain the long-term effects of gerrymandering and the complex causes of poverty.”

“Of course, I did,” I said, frowning. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“One of the papers you authored was about generational poverty.”

“Just because I know a lot about something doesn’t mean I can stop listening to information. That sort of thinking breeds ignorance.” I smiled, unable to not tease him just a little bit.

Reid took a step closer to me. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I just shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t have a good answer.”

In all the months I had known him, Spencer Reid had never touched me, not even so much as a finger brushing against mine when he handed me something. That fact is why I was so startled when I felt his hand on my upper arm, turning me towards him.

He licked his lips, his eyes darting around. “Did everyone else know?”

I shook my head, my teasing mood long gone. "No. I mean, clearly, Rossi suspected but…No, I didn't tell anyone else."

“I just don’t understand. You’re brilliant.”

I scoffed. “No, I’m not. I’m decent a psychology, sociology, stuff like that. I can’t apply math to behavior to find patterns. I can’t even calculate how much something is gonna cost when it’s on sale without a calculator half the time.”

‘What do you…” Reid trailed off. “Wait. The very first case. You were looking at the evidence board.”

Goddamn eidetic memory.

The boy wonder was on a roll now. “I told you that you’d have to…is that why you didn’t tell me?”

What else could I do? I just nodded.

Those brown eyes closed, and he let out a groan. “I said that because I thought you were going to…I was worried…” He huffed out a breath and opened his eyes. “I wanted you to like me. I didn’t want you to think I was just a nerd.”  

Now I was confused. “Why?”

Spencer Reid’s blush went all the way down his neck. “Well…I just…Morgan said I should just talk to you. But I’m not…I’m not good at that. I panic, then I start to ramble. Like I’m doing now…”

“Reid,” I interrupted. “I’m not playing dumb now. I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I like you,” he blurted out right before he smacked both of his hands over his face. “Oh my god. I sound like a child.” I thought I heard him mutter idiot under his breath. “Emily says that my IQ gets slashed to 60 whenever I see a pretty girl.”

Much like that moment all those years ago when I was a child, I felt everything click into place. Oh.

I couldn't suppress my smile any longer. I rose up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Well, we've already gone over how IQ tests aren't a good measure of overall intelligence."  

With that, I quickly stepped away and hurried out of the conference room, leaving a stunned genius in my wake. When I turned back to look at him, I saw his fingers brushing over the place where my lips had just been.  

--

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#Spencer Reid #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fan Fiction #Spencer Reid fan fiction #Spencer Reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #Spencer Reid x you #Spencer Reid x reader #Spencer read x y/n #Dr. Spencer reid #dr. reid

[hercleverboy]

time

spencer reid x reader 

summary ↠ spencer learns the truth about why the reader left the team so suddenly during his post-prison showdown with cat adams.

category ↠ angst

warnings/includes ↠ cancer, main character death, crying, pleading someone not to die, please do not read if these are triggering for you.

word count ↠ 3.6k

“Death is peaceful, easy. Life is harder.”

Breast cancer had a history in Y/N’s family. Her grandmother had died from it, and it seemingly skipped her mothers generation. Y/N was not so lucky.

When the doctor told her, she stared blankly she’d at the wall. He was talking at her but she only seemed to pick up on parts of what he was saying.

“Breast cancer”, “stage 4”, “has unfortunately spread to other parts of your body,” “eight months if you’re lucky”

Lucky?

If she’s lucky?

The doctor sent her on her way after discussing some treatments with her. He told her what the side effects of those treatments were going to be, and she’d shaken her head. The doctor looked shocked, but Y/N had just given him a small smile. If she was going to die, she was going to spend her time doing everything she wanted to, not being poked and prodded and given treatments that were unlikely to work anyway.

Initially, she didn’t tell anyone at the BAU. She certainly didn’t tell Spencer, who she’d been crushing on for years at that point. They were best friends, they had been since she started all those years ago, and they were always there for one another. She was always too nervous to tell him how she felt, but it’s funny how finding out your days are numbered will encourage you to do things you never thought you’d have the courage to. So one night at the end of the work day, when the bullpen was empty apart from her and the resident genius, she threw caution to the wind and walked right up to his desk.

He grinned at her as she approached. “Hey, Y/N. Did you want to grab something to eat before you head home? There’s that new Chinese place a few streets over-“ He was interrupted by her saying three words he never thought she’d say to him.

“I love you.”

The silence that followed was suffocating.

“You what?” He manages to get out, his mind was spinning.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry, you just have to know.”

“Y/N I don’t know what to say I-“ He stumbled over his words, trying to find the right ones. Truthfully, he was in love with her too. Though his own insecurities and stupid thoughts always got in the way. Y/N took his lack of response to mean that he didn’t feel the same, and so she took a deep breath and smiled at him reassuringly. Before he could tell her that he was very sure he loved her too, she was gone, the bullpen’s doors closing gently behind her.

Y/N felt the weight lifted off her shoulders. Despite her thinking Spencer didn’t return her affection, she still felt the sweetest relief imaginable. Because fuck it, if she was going to die she’d be damned If she did so without telling Spencer Reid how much she loved him.

And now he knew.

It brought her a sense of peace.

She told Hotch, but that’s only because she had to give him a real reason as to why she was leaving, after he heard the lie she’d fed the team.

“I’ve been offered a job in the orginised crime unit, I just can’t turn it down.”

“Y/N, can I speak with you?” He’d asked after she’d announced to the team that she was leaving. He led her to his office, closing the door behind her. “I’ll get straight to the point. There is no new job with the orginised crime unit, I would’ve been notified if you’d been offered a new position. What’s going on?”

She couldn’t lie to him, she knew that much. So she took a deep breath and spoke. “I’m terminally ill, sir. I haven’t got long left. I would like to live what is left of my life.” Hotch was understating. He didn’t show it, always very good at masking his emotions, but his heart was broken. He’d even hugged her, telling her what a pleasure it was to work alongside her, how the world would suffer greatly from the loss of her kind heart and unmatched intelligence.

On her last shift, which was a paperwork day thankfully, the team got together and threw her a little in-office going away party. Y/N felt guilty about not telling her friends, her family, the real reason she was leaving but they shouldn’t have to bear that burden, they shouldn’t have to carry around the guilt. And she didn’t want their pity or worry either. Hotch had been surprised at how soon she’d wanted to leave the BAU after telling him of her condition, but she told him it was because she wanted the team to remember her how she was. Strong and confident. She didn’t want to them to see her so weak and vulnerable, how she knew this disease would reduce her to.

JJ found out that day, unintentionally. After laughing and eating some cake with the team, Y/N felt incredibly nauseous (she found she was struggling to keep food down these days), so she excused herself to the bathroom, and was violently sick in the toilet of one of the stalls. JJ had followed her in, noticing how she’d barely touched her cake earlier and that she looked awfully pale as well.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” She asked, opening up the stall door behind Y/N, who was panting over the toilet bowl.

“I’m fine, JJ. I promise.” She smiled weakly but JJ wasn’t buying it. The two women had become best friends over their time in the bureau, almost like sisters.

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” JJ joked as Y/N stood up on shaky legs.

“No, I’m not pregnant Jayje.” Y/N couldn’t look her best friend in the eye, tears filling her eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’ll be okay, what’s wrong?” JJ’s motherly tone made Y/N wanted to laugh but she couldn’t force one out if she tried. Y/N’s lack of response frightened JJ.

“Y/N, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong, please.” She begged.

“I’m sick, JJ.”

It didn’t take the blonde long to figure out that she didn’t mean a common cold. Tears filled JJ’s eyes.

“I haven’t got a lot of time Jayje.” Y/N cried, and JJ began to sob, pulling Y/N into a tight hug.

“Well there are treatments right? Chemotherapy or something? Something has to work.” JJ was begging, praying that there was something. Her heart shattered all over again when Y/N shook her head.

“I won’t spend the rest of my time hooked up to countless machines receiving treatments that may or may not work. I don’t want to fight this. I’m already so tired, I just want to go peacefully when the time comes. Please?”

JJ just cried harder. She understood Y/N had already made peace with her fate.

After calming down slightly, Y/N pulled back, holding JJ by her shoulders. “You can’t tell anyone. Only you and Hotch know. I won’t burden anyone else with this, okay?”

“Y/N, this isn’t a burden. You’re sick. The team deserve to know, they deserve their turn to say goodbye.” JJ tried to convince her.

“Please. You can’t say a thing. I know they deserve that but god I can’t have them all pitying me. Garcia will buy me gift baskets to compensate, Derek won’t know what to do with himself so he’ll make jokes, and Spencer, god Spence will go into overdrive trying to fix me. I just want to live out my days peacefully, please let me have that Jayje.” She begged, and the blonde nodded.

“I understand, Y/N. But Spence.. he’s one of your best friends. He has been for years now. I know you told him you love him and he didn’t say it back but.. this- this will kill him.” She whispered the last part and Y/N looked away as she fought to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

“I know. And I’m sorry if it’s selfish but I’m dying, I think I’m allowed to be a little selfish.” Her attempt at a joke was met with a stern look from JJ.

5 months after Y/N left the BAU, Spencer ended up in trouble in Mexico, and before anyone could do anything he was awaiting trial in a prison cell. He had lot of time to think over the three months spent behind bars, staring at blank walls, fighting to survive long enough for the team to prove his innocence. Every night he slept in his bed he thought of Y/N.

How much he missed his best friend.

How much he loved her still.

He realised how stupid he’d been to let her get away. He regretted not going after her that day in the bullpen and promising her he felt the same way she did. He promised himself the moment he got out he would tell her how he felt, and they could make up for the time they’d lost. He yearned to see her, and If prison taught him anything, it was that time was precious. And he wanted to spend all of his time with her.

When JJ turned up to the prison one day, he’d never felt a relief quite like it.

“We’re taking you home.”

He was relieved that now he could focus on finding his mother, and once that was done he could prioritise Y/N. He would tell her how he felt, how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, no time to waste. He could tell her the words he’d thought a thousands times of the last three months.

I love you. So much.

He just had to win one final time, play Cat Adams stupid game and then everything he’d ever wanted would be his. He could live the life he’d dreamed of when he was in prison, Y/N by his side.

“Even if you are pregnant the baby’s not mine.” Spencer was mortified that she was really trying to persuade him that her baby was his, let alone that she was even pregnant in the first place.

Cat clicked her tongue. “Except for the part where it is.”

“That’s preposterous, you’ve been in prison. And besides we’ve never-“

“So have you, and I know we never...” She trailed off, that smirk on her lips. “Ask me how I did it.”

Spencer was really losing his patience. He didn’t care for, nor did he want to play Cat’s little game anymore.

“Come on, ask me.”

“How did you do it?”

“I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico. You lost time.” Cat smiled at the look of confusion on Spencer’s face. “I told her to pretend to be Maeve.”

That hurt Spencer more than it should’ve. 4 years since the tragic death of his girlfriend, and the wounds were still fresh as anything. Of course Cat knew about Maeve.

“But perhaps it would’ve worked better if I’d told her to pretend to be Y/N, the best friend that you’ve always loved but never told her. It’s a shame that you might never get the chance now.” Cat snarled.

“What do you mean I’ll never get the chance?”

“Oh my god. You don’t know, do you?” Cat teased, and Spencer gripped the edge of the table so harshly his knuckles turned white.

“Know what, Cat?”

“Dear little Y/N has terminal cancer. She was given around eight months to live, from what I know. That would mean-“ She theatrically looked at Spencer’s watch that sat on her wrist. “Any day now, if my timings right.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.” Cat’s head cocked to the side. This wasn’t part of her original plan, but any opportunity to mess with Spencer even more was not to be missed.

“Yes you are, that what you do.” Spencer seethed, the words like venom on his tongue.

“I’m not. Just ask blondie in there.” Cat pointed to the double sided mirror. “She’ll tell you. It is her that Y/N chose to confide in, after all.” She teased.

Spencer shot up from table with loud bang and stalked out the room, slamming open the door to where a gobsmacked JJ stood.

“Is it true?” Spencer asked, his tone cold and unforgiving.

“Spence..”

“JJ! I asked if it was true?” He shouted, slamming his hand on the wall next to them. JJ flinched, and for the first time in their friendship JJ was afraid of the man in front of her.

“Yes.” Her voice was small.

He whipped out his phone, calling Garcia. “Garcia I need you to look up Y/N Y/L/N’s medical records.”

“Our Y/N Y/L/N? Why?” The chipper woman replied, confused.

“Just please, Garcia!” Spencer shouted desperately.

“Okay okay, I’m looking and everything seems fine- oh wait- what’s this?” Garcia murmured to herself as she clicked through the files, her eyes widening and tears forming in them as she gasped. “She’s sick? W-why didn’t she tell us? Oh my god.”

“She’s alive, right? Oh god please tell me she’s alive?” Spencer begged.

“She’s alive, but she was admitted to the hospital 2 weeks ago after she collapsed. They’re keeping her in the hospital, just trying to make her comfortable- oh god I can’t read anymore.” Garcia was sobbing down the line and JJ had a hand clasped over her mouth to keep her own sobs at bay.

Spencer sobbed too, for the first time since he went to prison. Everything seemed to hit him at once.

After a moment, JJ’s trembling voice reached his ears. “Spence, I know this is a lot to take in but if you want to find out where your mother is you’ve got to carry on.”

He’s knew she was right, but he just glared at her coldly. “How long have you known?”

“Since she left.” JJ cried. “I’m so sorry, but she begged me not to tell you, or anyone else for that matter. How could I deny her that?”

Spencer understood it wasn’t JJ’s fault but he was still so angry. The anger burned within him like a wildfire and he didn’t posses the restraint to put it out. “There was no new job in the organised crime unit, was there?”

“No.”

“Fuck!” Spencer shouted, pushing some files that sat on the table onto the floor with a loud crash as he cried.

“Spence-“ JJ attempted to comfort him but he was downright inconsolable.

“You know she told me she loved me. Before she left.” Spencer spoke quickly and fiercely, though the tears trembling down his cheeks told a different story. He finally looked JJ in the eye, and she nodded. “I didn’t get to tell her I love her but I do JJ, god I do and now I’m gonna lose her.” He let out a heartbroken cry and JJ felt so guilty.

“Spence you have to go back in there and win her little game. Save your mother, and then you can worry about Y/N. Okay?” JJ tried, and this time it seemed the words sunk into him.

Spencer hated that she was right. So with a sniffle, he wiped the tears from his eyes with the sleeves of his blazer, before taking a deep breath and returning to the room with Cat, one even more determined to win.

After winning the battle against Cat, Spencer escorted his mother back to the sanitarium. As soon as she was safe and settled, Spencer was immediately on the phone with Garcia.

“Garcia, which hospital is Y/N at?”

Once he got the address he was there in minutes.

He sped up to the front desk, panting as he spoke. “Hi, I’m here to see Y/N Y/L/N.”

The receptionist nodded, typing away on her computer. Spencer stood as he waited to hear what room she was in, tapping his foot impatiently on the white floorboards. A doctor who had been standing near the desk stepped towards him, and he looked him as she approached. “Sorry sir, Did you say you’re here to see Y/N Y/L/N?”

Spencer turned to her, his voice desperate. He prayed he wasn’t too late. “Yes, yes.”

The doctor looked at him with a small smile. She looked him up and down, coming to a conclusion. “Are you Dr Spencer Reid?”

Spencer gulped, unsure what to say. “Yes. How did you know?”

“Y/N- She talks about you, when she’s in between consciousness. She showed me pictures a few weeks ago, told me all about the man she loved who she was so sure didn’t love her back. She’ll be so glad to see you.”

He wanted to smile at the information but he felt so sick that he couldn’t force his lips up into even a grimace. “How is she?” He dared to ask.

“I’m sorry, Dr Reid. Y/N is incredibly ill. We’re just trying to make her as comfortable as we can, I’m afraid it won’t be long now. Follow me, she could use your company.”

His heart broke but he followed her, attempting not to breakdown in a fit of cries.

When he saw her his heart broke even more. Her cheeks were sullen and she was thinner than he remembered. But she was still so beautiful to him. He thanked the doctor and pulled up a chair next to her, taking one of her frail hands in his. She turned to look at him, flashing a weak smile.

“Spencer? Are you really here?”

“Yes sweetheart. And I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” He choked out, attempting to smile for her sake.

She nodded, and he brought his lips to her hand to place a gentle kiss on it.

“I’ve missed you.” She whimpered out. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve missed you too.” He felt like breaking down but he had to be strong for her. “Y/N, I have to tell you, if this is the last chance I get I- I love you. I always have done. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all those months ago. I’m here now, but I’m too late.” He sobbed.

“Hey, hey. . It’s okay. It was a privilege to love you, Spencer Reid.” She smiled, moving her frail hands up to cup his face. It made him sob harder.

“I wish we had more time.” He cried, pressing his forehead to hers.

“I know, me too.”

They talked for the whole evening, and then, when she got too exhausted to continue conversation, he pulled out her favourite book from his satchel. He read to her, listening to the sound of her shallow breathing.

The team visited, all too shocked to say much, but they came to say goodbye. Y/N was barely conscious enough to realise what was going on, but she still managed to give the team a weak smile and a whispered, “Love you guys.”

JJ and Garcia had to leave the room so they wouldn’t collapse in tears front of her.

When the heart monitor went flat in the early hours of the next morning, that loud blaring sound filling Spencer’s ears, his sobs started again as he rested his forehead on her still chest.

“Please. Please don’t go. Come back, I love you.” Spencer begged, his shoulders moving with the sobs that wracked through him. He’d never felt so utterly heartbroken. Not when he watched his father leave, not when he saw his mother’s condition worsen, not even when Maeve was killed right in front of him. None of that compared to how his chest burned and his throat was sore from the sobs that ripped from him, and the tears that relentlessly cascaded down his cheeks.

“Please, baby. Look at me. Let me see them gorgeous eyes, yeah?” He begged, he prayed to every god there ever was that she’d look at him again with those beautiful orbs that he’d fallen so In love with. Those stunning eyes that would never open again.

The doctor, with tears in her own eyes at the scene before her, moved to turn the heart monitor off, the obnoxious withstanding beep cutting off. It made Spencer’s head ache.

Spencer clutched Y/N’s hand desperately to his chest, his head resting on her chest as he cried. He squeezed her hand, and some foolish part of him almost believed that if he squeezed hard enough he’d wake up from whatever nightmare this was. He twisted his eyelids shut and dreamed. He dreamed of waking up next to Y/N, in a bed that they shared, wedding bands on their fingers and their children’s footsteps and laughter filling their home. He dreamed of a life with her, of raising a family with her. He dreamed of the life she deserved.

He wanted to scream. How was this fair? How were murderers and serial rapists walking around with no consequence but people like Y/N had their lives ripped from them?

It was unjust.

But the world was cruel, Spencer knew. It was cruel and it was cold and it was unforgiving.

He raised his head from her chest, using the hand that wasn’t holding hers to place his hand on her cheek. He pushed forward, placing a gentle kiss on her cold and lifeless lips.

it was a goodbye. one that needn’t be spoken.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll honour you for the rest of my life, I promise.”

Spencer Reid never recovered from losing Y/N Y/L/N.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #mgg x reader #mgg #spencer reid one shot #criminal minds x reader

[spencers-dria]

Like Real People Do

🎉150 Follower Celebration Day 3!!

(Repost cause tumblr ate it 🙄)

REQUEST: congrats on 150! for the requests - how about a fic based on 'like real people do' by hoizer? i was thinking something like reader telling post-prison!spencer that who he is now matters much more than who he was in the past, but feel free to take it in whatever direction you want to! 💛💛

Spencer x gn reader

Angst

Content/Trigger Warnings: anxiety, depression, PTSD, implications of drug cravings

Yet another week of seemingly meaningless work at the office while my colleagues, my friends spend their time out in the field, doing the hard work, catching the criminals, seeing the joy of family and friends reunited at the end of a case. I couldn’t help but feel jealousy, resentment. But it was more than the actions of Cat Adams that put me in this place; it was my own ill-advised choices. How can one help but to be completely reckless and desperate for the sake of family? In the end it was sorted out. Here I sit, not behind bars, well, not in the prison anyways. The four walls of the building had become their own kind of imprisonment. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but it was simply one more thing on the list of problems to deal with and reminders of the past. Of my past.

Coworkers offered kind smiles and gestures, all well meaning. None of it broke through the barrier made up of many types of bricks: anxiety, depression, PTSD, self-loathing, cravings, regret. None of them seemed aware of the newest walls put up, but that’s alright. It keeps them at a distance just the same. It serves its purpose to protect them and myself. Or so I thought. The last thing I expected when they returned from their latest case was the urgency in which my coworker, my dearest friend, pulled me aside into an empty office, fear in their eyes.

“I can’t be quiet anymore.”

I used my silence as a means to beckon them to continue.

“You’re not okay, Reid.”

“That’s what this is about?” I scoffed. “I’m fine. Everyone says so. The therapist says so. Emily says so. And most importantly, I say so. So if you don’t mind-” I moved to make my exit only to find myself blocked by their determination and hard-headedness.

“Sit!” They scold, but their eyes still hold a gentle and caring manner.

We both took our seats on a couch at the far end of the room, leaving enough distance for comfort.

“Look, I’m okay really I just-”

“Stop, Reid.” I felt a gentle hand on top of mine as I found the strength to raise my eyes to meet theirs.

For a moment, I couldn’t be sure how long, we shared nothing but a gaze, silence, and the gentle squeeze of a hand. It said more to me than any words they could have spoken, because at that moment I saw it. I saw myself. My pain, my regret, my anger, I saw all of it in their eyes, in its own form. I knew in that moment they understood more than I could have or would have ever expected.

One moment we sit in silence, but the next is filled with cries that hold pain, once buried deep but now rising to the surface. It’s a nasty business, digging through the graveyard of your past. I never expected to work through any of it, nor did I want to, that is, until they held my hand and didn’t let go, right by my side every step of the way.

“I can’t do this anymore. Sometimes I wish I was just-”

“I know, Spencer. I know.”

We spent days, weeks, debriding every wound, airing out the freshest of cuts so that they may finally begin to heal. Long talks, hard cries, hours spent in silence, in darkness. They did whatever necessary to get me through all of it. I grew closer to them than I ever dreamed possible. We were bonded together as the wounds healed. One day it finally occurred to me, what was it they saw? How was it, amongst a group of profilers, only they seemed in tune to how deeply I was buried underneath it all? Why did they choose to dig as deep as they did, to pull me out? Could it be a darkness in them that sought out the darkness in me?

“Do you think we could pretend?”

“Hmm”

“That I’m okay? That none of it happened? That we can just be- you and me?”

“Maybe, just for now, Spencer.”

Distractions. 

Lips on lips, staggered breaths, wandering fingers, skin on skin.

Wondrous little distractions.

I have been so wrapped up in everything, my pain, my healing, me. Only someone who knew this kind of pain could have understood or been able to help me through it as well as they have. Maybe they have worked through theirs, but what if they haven’t? What if they’re hurting just as badly as I was or worse? Is it not my job to reach out? Don’t I owe them for everything they have done? I know I can’t push. It’s a dangerous game, digging through your past. I trust they'll let me know when they’re ready, if only from the look in their eyes. After all, isn’t that how they knew it was time with me, when I had finally had enough?

“You know I’ll always be here to take care of you, right?” I place a kiss to their forehead, pulling them in impossibly close.

“Oh Dr. Reid, I thought that was my job.”

I feel the way they melt into the kiss, soft and sweet.

I may not be able to put a face or a name to their pain and their past, but seeing my demons reflected in their eyes cuts deep. I would protect them with my life if given the chance, not just from physical danger but emotional damage, scars, wounds that don’t heal. I know they could heal too, if they would only let me help, let me listen.

“You’re so much more, Spencer.”

“More than what?”

“More than all of it. More than your past. “

“So are you.”

Until that time I will be here. I will hold them, care for them, kiss them as though it can cure every ailment, lift every burden, wipe away every tear. We are merely ghosts of our pasts, desperate to feel something good again like real people do.

“I had a thought, dear

However scary

About that night

The bugs and the dirt

Why were you digging?

What did you bury

Before those hands pulled me

From the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from

I will not ask you, neither should you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips

We should just kiss like real people do

I knew that look dear

Eyes always seeking

Was there in someone

That dug long ago

So I will not ask you

Why you were creeping

In some sad way I already know

I will not ask you where you came from

I will not ask you and neither would you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips

We should just kiss like real people do”

#renswritingchallenge #Spencer Reid #criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer x reader #angst #tw: anxiety #tw: depression #tw: ptsd #tw: cravings #Spotify #hozier #like real people do

[ironwoman18]

The Worst Third Date Ever part 2

Chapter 2: The Encounter

Max drove to Spencer's apartment as fast as she could. Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered the call that informed her about her sister's kidnap.

When she was on her way there she could see some police cars behind her, she was stressed and hit the wheel with her hand.

Two of them stopped in front of her to make her stop. And so she did but gets out as quick as possible saying "No. No, no, no, no, no, please. You've got to move your cars. It's an emergency" her hands were up showing she did not have a weapon.

"Max?" Said a voice behind her.

When she turned there was her dad "Dad?" She runs to him and hugs him tight.

"Sweetie, you're alright. You'reok" he rubs her back softly.

She cries as they were hugging. A man walks toward her "Hello Max. I'm SSA Matt Simmons. I work with Spencer, I think you know something happened to your sister and we will need your help to rescue her"

"What... what about my dad?"

"An agent will take him to the hospital. He's alright but we need to check him after being kidnapped for several hours. He's in good hands"

Her dad nodded and after a last hug and a kiss on the cheek, they both go separate ways.

Max into Matt's SUV and her dad into another. Inside hers were Garcia and JJ, who introduced themselves and quickly start to explain everything to Max about the situation.

They told her how Spencer outsmarted Cat the first time, then when she made him go to prison for a crime he did not commit using drugs to make him hallucinate.

"She did what to him in Mexico?" She was shocked by this women's methods.

"Yeah, and that's where the story gets even more convoluted"

"All you need to know is, he whole reason for doing this is to destroy Reid's life" JJ says.

"And that you're just the next pawn in her game" this time Matt spoke.

Max nodded and looks at the street "Ok, so, she's, like, a mean girl, but more stabby"

"Yes!" The three agents says at the same time.

After some more minutes they arrived to Reid's apartment and parks there. And they were glad Spencer, Luke and Cat have not arrived yet. They got in and checked everything before let Max in. Knowing Cat was capable of planting a bomb or something.

After that they let her in. JJ hands her an earpiece "We'll be able to monitor you with this the whole time. We'll all be listening, but Prentiss will be telling you what to say" Max nodded.

"Thumbs up if you can hear me" Garcia whispers in a microphone and Max did it.

After that JJ gave her some advices about how to being relaxed, they had her back covered and if she needs a hand they will jump in any second. She nods and sighs as they leave her alone.

Max can listen to them arriving and takes a deep breath ready to her encounter with Cat. When the door opened she can see Cat and Spencer kissing.

She was in shock at that and when they broke apart Spencer's eyes set on Max and he wanted to die right there.

Some guy of the SWAT team pulls her away as Spencer walks to Max with Luke behind him "What are you doing here?"

"Get her out of here. Get her out of here" Luke ordered.

"No, no, no. She will kill them if I leave"

"Kill who?"

"My father and my sister"

"Michelle?"

"No, my... my younger sister" Spencer's mind was working faster to understand that Cat kidnapped Max family not her own father and stepsister "Look, I got a call from some woman. I heard my sister screaming in the background. She told me to come here, that there would be a key under the mat. Spencer, what is happening?!"

He understood what was Cat's plan "it's your family she kidnapped"

Luke got a message saying JJ and Matt recovered her dad. Of course Luke and Max already knew it, because Prentiss told him her plan.

He asked Spencer to take Cat back to her cell and regroup but Spencer has other plans.

"No. Bring her in here and leave us alone"

"Dude"

Spencer got out his phone and called to his house's phone, and hands his cellphone to Luke "you can monitor us with this" then turns to Max "Follow my lead. We can outsmart her. Let her gloat. She loves to gloat. Just don't show fear or she'll use it against you"

"Who?"

"Her" The three of them turned around to see Cat walking in with a smirk on her face, cleaning the lipstick he messed up after the kiss. When she was closes to them, her eyes on Max's "We're all here. What do you want to talk about?" He knows she planned this. Make her partner to call Max, acting like he offended her while thinking about Max and pushing him to go there.

"So, so much" she smirks looking at him and then looks at her "she's cute" Max could feel her predator's energy as she walked next to her.

Spencer's and hers eyes met and she knew the game had started.

"Did it make you mad that I was kissing your boyfriend?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Well, he's not my boyfriend" she says with a little laugh looking at him from the corner of her eyes, she wanted to be his girlfriend but she will not say that to her "and I kind of have some other things on my mind"

"Like what?"

"Are you gonna hurt Eloise?"

"Not if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience"

"What does that mean?"

"Normally, Spencie and I, we spend out time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You can do so much better" she said that looking at Spencer.

"With you?"

"I'm not talking to you" she then turns to Max and pointed at Max "I'm talking to you. Because, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your boyfriend"

"He's not my boyfriend" she looks at him after she said it again, like trying to give him a message she was just saying that because it was obvious that Cat was jealous of her dating him. But he did not get it.

"No kidding. You guys haven't even made out yet"

"You told her that?" She said a little hurt, she never expected him to tell her that.

"I had to say a lot of things tonight" Spencer usually told Cat some personal information so she can split some more information but he never thought she could know about Max or make this.

"Yes he has. He said that you're not me, that, um... that not matter what, he can't get me out of his mind"

"Everything I said I was lying to save your family"

"Did our kiss look like a lie?" Cat was making sure to point that out to Max to made her hate Spencer.

"No" he cursed himself and could not believe he kissed Cat.

"Thank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter" Cat sighed "You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always save the day and has all the answers, uh..." she took a photo of his mother "and has zero mommy issues, right?" He wanted to snapped her hands off that photo "but, um... I know the real him"

"Oh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?"

"The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls..." that made him to remember that day, he was set free hours from jail, thanks to Cat, and he was not himself. He was upset because he just heard something exploding from the other side of the phone, he thought she ordered her partner to kill his mom "and hisses that he's going to kill them" he was thankful JJ stopped him, if he was alone Cat would die that day.

"That was a very different situation"

"No, it wasn't"

Max talked after several minutes of silence, she knew what happened in Mexico but she did not know what happened after that.

JJ cursed after listening what Cat said. She could not believe how Cat had everything planned to destroy his relationship.

"What is she talking about?" Spencer did not want her to know this, at least no yet.

"You tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me"

When Prentiss arrived to Spencer's apartment and Luke told her the situation was not good, the unit chief made contact with her "Max, listen closely. We are gonna need you to lie" Max just listen and planned what she will need to do or say. The situation was really stressful and she has to do it right. Cat Adams looked really dangerous.

"Two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and..."

"And you threw her against a wall?"

"Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything"

Spencer could not look up as he keeps telling her the story "She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her"

"And?.. the next day..." she looks at Max as she said it "I miscarried" Cat said with a calm voice "the end"

"That's not true"

"It is most certainly true, check my medical records" and Garcia did immediately. She discovered the miscarriage was true but not the day before the incident happened.

"That doesn't mean I-I would..."

"Boss... it's a big lie from Cat's part" she informed and all the team listed.

Then Prentiss told Max and added "Fake tears, if you can't fake tears, fake anger" and she did.

"Stop. Look" Her look towards Spencer was of totally disappointment that made him almost had a breakdown right there.

"I thought you were decent" a silence felt on the room and you could hear Spencer's heart breaking with every minute he saw Max has to hear what he had to been through two years ago.

Cat was having a blast looking how she was destroying them. Max could see now how this woman was able to use such a thing to make him feel bad, she was not a profiler but she knows Cat was a typical Queen Bee.

"I'm sorry" he sat next to Max looking down like a kid who just did something bad.

"Notice how your boyfriend is apologizing to you and not me" she keeps calling him her boyfriend.

"He's/ I'm not my/her boyfriend" this time Spencer and Max said at the same time. Both looking away. She has to keep her fake angry.

"That's good, because men are all the same, aren't they Maxie?"

Reid will not let Cat calling her Maxie like they were friends. He will protect her "don't call her that"

"What, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?" She keeps using that against him and remembering Max what of an awful person he was.

"Why are you doing this?" She knew it, she wanted to destroy Spencer.

"Because I want you to see it. I want you to see that he is... no better than whoever hurt you before"

"Stop"

"I can see it on your face. What's his name?"

"It's none of your business. It is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty" Max keeps looking at her. She could tell this was the other thing she wants. She hates men and knows she will love a story of abuse men "I mean, i could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him"

Spencer saw a chance to make her split with her offer. He knows if she calls her partner they will be able to pinpoint her location and save Max's sister "Say yes. Give her what she wants"

"Hmm. See? He wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it. They're so good, the FBI"

Cat was reading Spencer like a textbook. Max on the other hand was tired of their games. She can tell they are reading each other and they will not let anything to slip.

She stands up "what is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have?" Cat was having fun as she thought she was under control of everything and that she was getting into Max's skin "Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?"

"Tell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it" Spencer could see Max desperate look and he knows Cat was not trustworthy "and then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go"

Max nodded and Spencer knows she was getting into her trap. Cat will not let her go, that was just a lie to get what she want. Max was not stupid, she can tell she has Cat where she wanted. She just has to play her cards well, first hung up the call Spencer made at the beginning of this.

She walks to the door play like she think the FBI will not trace her phone if that line was not open. Spencer and Cat thought the same, she was acting naive "Here. Use this use my phone. They can't trace it"

"Hmm... you'd be surprised"

"I don't even need a call. Just... just a photo. Something to prove to me that she's still alive. Please"

Cat could tell she was desperate "story first"

"Max, Max, I have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom"

"It is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... or me?" Max looked between both of them. If she has to be honest she could never trust Cat but right now she had to act like she was hurt with him.

After several minutes of thinking she decided to tell the story she planned. She can see Cat thought every man want to hurt women so she has to play on that. She turns and take a deep breath, she unlocked her phone and starts it "His name was Mike Davis. We dated for two years"

"Good. When did it end?"

"Last year"

"Was he good in bed?" She asked like they were best friends and they were having a sleepover.

"Shut up" Spencer was not happy.

"What? You have to know where you stand"

"He was good... good at, um, separating me from my friends and my family enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go" she was holding her tears and looks down "and my first response wasn't 'get out' it wasn't 'go to hell' it was 'I'm sorry, Mike'" she covers her mouth with her hand and having tears in her eyes "that's when he knew he had me"

"How many hospital visits were there?"

"None. No, he... he knew how to hurt me just enough, I guess"

"But you found the strength to leave. What did you do?"

"I planned and I... I waited"

"Waited for what?"

"I live here in D.C. but I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear" Spencer understood immediately what she meant by that.

He stands up trying to stop her "Max, stop talking, stop talking right now"

"No, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone" Cat says also knowing what she implied with her last statement "Look, I'm gonna enter the text, stick the landing and I'll hit 'send'" that is what Max wanted. Emily, Luke, JJ and Penelope hearing what she was saying and getting ready to send to Matt and Rossi where Juliette has Eloise.

Max kept her poker face "when I was ready, I picked a fight louder enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so, I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him" she said as she felt a knot in her throat.

Cat looked so pleased by that and Spencer tried to defend her "it was self-defense. He was attacking you"

"That's what I told 911 when he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police didn't charge me, but I... after I hung up I... I shot him two more times" when she said the last part Cat could not control a little sadistic laughs as she send the text and trigger Garcia's computer.

Spencer, on the other hand, was dying inside. Max could tell by his look.

#maxine brenner #criminal mind #maxcer #spencer reid #fanfiction #cat adams

[okimargarvez]

HURT- open wounds - 22

Original title: Hurt.

Prompt: Luke’s dark thought, destiny, contrasted love.

Warnings: sexual content, dark thoughts.

Genre: angst, drama, romantic, smut, dark, mistery, frienship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, BAU team, O.C.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: multichapter.

Legend: 💏😘😈🔦🐶❗🎈👻.

Song mentioned: La tua vita intera, Tiziano Ferro.

Hurt- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: this is the last chapter. This story is ended!

Chapter 22-

-This story will end today, in some way. It's clear by now.- Penelope stands up and approaches him, without touching him. Luke can see her shiny eyes, but also the stubborn expression.

-I know. That's why I'm afraid.- the voice trembles, but refuses to give up. He hugs her, caresses her back and whispers sweet and comforting words.

-Hun, darling, look at me.- he takes her face in his hands. -I'm afraid, we are all afraid. But I can't promise you anything other than that I'll do my best, I'll be careful, because nothing will happen to me. Because I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose the opportunity to stay with you and now we have to take care not only of Roxy, but also of Twisty...- he smiles, even a few tears fall from his eyes. -It's a great responsibility.- the last word is cut from her lips.

-Yes, it is. So be sure to bring your ass back home tonight, otherwise I'll go out with that man of the billiards that always flirts with me...- Luke laughs and grabs her by the wrists, bringing her closer to him again.

-Oh yes?- he knows he still has only a few seconds. They have to go and save Diana. They kiss again, then get out of the bunker. He must concentrate on the mission, he can’t think of Penelope in a fixed way, because this could distract him and make him commit some imprudence.

The blonde woman now feels powerless, because she can only wait for the facts to unfold, there is no information that can be useful to him, she has no way of preventing things from going as they should, but she has a terrible, dark premonition that digs in her bowels. She feels the desire to vomit, scream, cry. She hasn't had a chance to tell him how much she really loves him. Now, thinking back to the first months, how she behaved, trying to keep him at a distance, then realizing that she fell in love with him, all too soon... she is not being able to do without him. Now, she feels like an idiot. It started in such an absurd way, it is absurd even that Luke can really love her... yet he does. Please, Lord, let everything work out for the best. I know I ask You too many favors, but in that house there are so many good people who don’t deserve to die, including one in particular, and... and I promise You that I will be able to clearly demonstrate to him what I feel for him, if You let him come back in one piece.

 Lindsey poses the detonator and he handcuffs her and takes her outside. He feels less the burden on his heart. The helicopter trip goes by very quickly. As soon as it comes down, he runs into Garcia's room, nobody notices, but even in that case, he doesn't care. Maybe she heard his footsteps, because she waits for him on her feet. She hugs him hard, doesn't want to let him go. -Love, it's ok. It's over. I told you it would be over. Spencer won. We won. Lindsey is in our hands, Cat is in prison and Diana is safe. Do you want to see him? Soon Reid and JJ will arrive too.- he raises her chin, she puts her lips on his, but in a moment the kiss becomes more ravenous.

-I... I need it... it's so wrong, isn't it?- he doesn't let her replicate, he shakes his head and leaves the room, followed by her. A great promise lies on her head, yet here again she can’t find the courage to keep it. Then she sees all the others, already waiting, including Reid's mother and decides to postpone it later. She wants to enjoy this moment, because as JJ said many years before, they have so few good memories in these rooms. They see so many horrible things, the darkest points that the human mind can reach... so it is also good for the atmosphere of the building to be charged with positive energy. The elevator doors open, here is Spencer; Emily sends Diana forward, they exchange a few jokes in a low voice, then the hug. How much she misses her parents right now. She has never yet spoken to Luke about them, or rather not about their death and her feelings of guilt about it. She hasn’t yet told him a lot of things, all those that she didn’t want to say. Things must change. She had made a promise to him (apart from that to the Almighty): that once the story of Reid was resolved, they would have told the team about their relationship. That they are together. And now she will have to keep it.

She's thinking about this when she gets a text from Emily. She just says to go to hers bunker and so she hurries. But inside there is... Derek. There really is Derek Morgan, beautiful as always, even if that long beard makes him strange, he still remains the most attractive male specimen of the entire universe, her chocolate thunder, her statue of a god carved in... sorry, Luke.

She strives to regain control of her mind, then he comes out with his -Hey babygirl.- and that smile. It's too long since she heard that voice, that nickname, then she melts, sending to hell any effort to look like a normal person. Not with him, although there is Prentiss to watch the scene.

-Oh my God, oh my God, it's you!- she hops around in his arms. -It’s really you! You smell...- she closes her eyes to better enjoy the moment -…like… you smell like hope and happiness! It’s really you.- then they separate, but keep holding on to his arm.

-Yes, it's me, it's me, but listen.- he takes her face in his hands. -You gotta focus, ok?- Penelope knows he is perfectly right, so she tries to listen to him.

-Yeah. Anything. Anything.- she nods. -Focus... focus on what?- Emily lifts a cell phone and shows it to her.

-This text.- it says that Reid got out of prison and wants to see Derek, and that he must write to her if he wants to get the address of the security house where his mother was put. But it is signed with her name.

-Oh crap.- the blonde's heart leaps and she thinks exactly what her colleagues had already suggested. A trap. In fact, when she saw Luke enter her bunker shortly before, something, like a little voice, told her No, it's not over yet, but she didn't want to be right. The bad guys were in prison and the good guys were safe. What could happen? Now the answer is there, before her eyes. They move back to the meeting room.

 -I know we are all tired, but we might have a new load on Mr. Scratch.- that damn bastard is one of the criminals he has to thank for letting him know Penelope and true love, at more than forty years old. It is the asshole that led him to combine his path with that of the BAU, finally accepting to become a full-time profiler. He didn't believe he would make it, but now here he is. He faced so many different cases, most of it had nothing to do with Scratch or his modus operandi, yet he did it brilliantly, he managed to make his own contribution... in these people gathered here, plus Spencer who is not present because he is enjoying his new-found mother, he has earned a family. They aren’t just colleagues, but this is not something that happens everywhere, unfortunately. For example, it didn't happen with the members of the task forces, except with Phil... And you saw the result of having a friend in the middle. Friendship and love make you vulnerable to attacks. But looking at the blonde woman next to the chief of the unit, he consciously accepts to risk again, to mix the work with personal facts. But this time it will be different. There will be no ghosts of women to torment him and ask him why you had to send my husband, among all those who were available. Phil didn't even have the qualification to work on such a mission. What happened to him is your fault. Your fault.

-Somebody did a bang-up job of cloning my cell phone to send Morgan a fake text luring him to a non-existent safe house. And whoever that somebody is has mad skills.- but he is not the only one who is staring intently at Penelope. In fact, even that other man, the only one who doesn't know in person, the elusive ex-special agent Derek Morgan, is watching her carefully. Luke doesn't want to be jealous anymore, he doesn't want to repeat what he did when he saw a guy flirts with her at the bar or he saw her talking to Sam, her ex. He doesn't want to redo those mistakes. He trusts her, knows she doesn't love Morgan anymore, he's just her best friend and he has to be able to accept it.

-The kind of skills Scratch has.- Walker says.

In any case, he can't stand it. He has to get in the way, shooting even a useless question, but he must ask it, provoke her, remind her who is her boyfriend in this room. -Were you able to trace where the hack came from?- immediately he sees the expression of his woman stiffen. She looks up at the sky, assumes a very theatrical pose. She is reciting this part hopefully for the last time.

-Do you see what I have to put up with?- she asks to Morgan, but pointing towards Luke. The former agent frees his crossed arms.

-Alvez- he says. It's a strange thing, to be called by that one, who until he saw him was just another ghost, a fading creature, just a name, not a real person and now he is too much. -You always get a location, with this one.- and he puts his hand on Penelope's shoulder, literally squeezes it , while he looks at Latin in a... malicious way. As if, despite having been the last to see them, so he shouldn't know anything about them, instead he has understood everything. And in this case the situation is serious, because it means that the love he feels is printed directly on his face. Or that the blonde had talked to him, about the two of them, well before they officially got together. He will ask her as soon as he can. But right now he can't help but feel jealousy, pure jealousy, or rather the extreme intense desire to go there and take those fingers off his woman's body, to be able to pretend he is more at a distance, shouting, not just to Morgan, to others too, how things really are. But of course, he can't. He confines himself to a slightly mentioned smile, which blends perfectly with those of the others, next to him. And to put just a hand on the gun. Not that he is going to use it, but... it reassures him. -You guys are all good to go.- he adds, finally returning with folded arms.

-Obviously Morgan can’t come with us. He is a civilian now.- too bad, in case there will be ever a terrible accident... But no! He is married, with a small child. Luke, take control of your mind again. Penelope now loves him. But she hasn't said it yet. But she made it clear. It's enough? No, but it must be.

-We will miss you out there.- JJ says. Even Derek doesn't seem very happy.

-I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it out there in the field with you guys. I think about it every day. But between my old friends and my new friends- he clearly points towards Luke -you guys are gonna go out there, you're gonna handle your business, you're gonna make people feel safe, and then you're gonna come home. And that's all that matters.- he is forced to admit that he is right. It's the only thing they have to do. But once this Scratch story is solved, they will have to give them at least a mini vacation; he will take Penelope to the mountains, where his grandparents had a chalet, they will stay there with Roxy and Twisty, they will enjoy walks and dinners by candlelight and after dinner under the stars...

-Let's saddle up.- the leader says, bringing him back down to earth. It's not over yet, but it will be soon. They all come out except the two best friends, he can't help but throw a last look at the blonde and in that look there is both the renewal of her promise (I'll come back home alive) and a slight warning (Don't forget who is the man you will wait with open arms).

Penelope asks Derek to accompany her to her den, even if for a moment she is tempted to tell him everything, about her and Luke, because she needs to let off steam with someone, to let her terror out. Scratch is a terrible adversary, he has almost destroyed Hotch's life, forced him to hide for Jack's sake, made him relive Hailey's murder, kidnapped and tortured Tara's brother, he knew perfectly well that Agent Alvez had joined their team... he knew too much about them, with too much warning. There was certainly a mole in the Bureau and their next mission would be to find out who it was. But right now she could only sit there, greet her best friend and then, in her bunker, listen to conversations among her colleagues. Limit herself to this.

Listening to Morgan talking about his baby, about the fact that he started walking... she has an extreme desire to cry, but this time with emotion. She had never thought of him as a father, but clearly he is perfect in this role. She should have known when he insisted on taking the baby Henry in his arms. And she can't help but wonder if Luke would be a good father too... a useless thought, since she is out of time, but they have Twisty and Roxy, and they are such a wonderful family too.

-I'm so proud of you.- he says, stroking her cheek. -I love you, always.- but then he changes his tone. -But do you think you can try to be a little friendlier, with Alvez?- bigger fear responds in her place, making her raise her eyes to the sky.

-Oh my God.- she really thinks If you would know what is the truth, and how really friendlier I’m with Alvez, you wouldn't reproach me. She has nothing to laugh about it.

-Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. He seems like a pretty all right kid.- and he smiles. You knew how much it is! He's like you, but he doesn't just play with double meanings... he makes them become concrete. He is intelligent, insightful, clever, mischievous. Sexy, jealous. Sweet, insecure, he has so many shadows that follow him, as you, but I think he has a little less of your willpower to overcome them. That is why I am there, and I will help him.

-He… I... it's complicated. I'll try. I make no promises.- already, enough promises, because so much fails to respect them. Suddenly the thought that they are already out hits her, they are in danger and that something horrible could happen at any moment. It doesn’t abandon her even while she greets his chocolate thunder, receives his kiss in the air and sends a bigger one back to him, remains to stare at the area until she realizes that he has really gone (again). And then she walks towards the bunker and connects with the others. -All right, Boltron, sound off.- a joke, to play down. She listens to someone's voices up to her. Ok. So far so good, they are still all alive and... She doesn't have time to finish thinking. Suddenly she hears a skid, braking noises, and doesn't understand what's going on.

Then she hears Emily ask -Is everyone ok?- and the others answer in the affirmative. Not even ten seconds pass. An even louder sound destroys her ears, so much so that she is forced to take off her earphones. She tries to contact them, but no one shows signs of life. So she sends a team of ambulances to the crash site and only then, she allows herself to faint for a moment.

 But this is a luxury that she can’t afford too long. The phone rings, she replies, is one of the paramedics. -Mrs. Garcia, we're bringing them to the...- but besides the address, he doesn't want to say more, about for example the conditions of her colleagues. So she drives up to there, passing every second from the most absolute discomfort to the optimism that characterizes her. She also calls Derek, to warn him of what happened and Spencer. Both said they will reach them as soon as possible. But she doesn't have time to wait for them. Then she parks, enters, asks the reception, all automatically, trying not to think. If she would did, she would stand motionless, too afraid to feel something she wouldn’t be able to overcome. They tell her the floor where they are hospitalized. The first she sees is Rossi. He wears a neck brace, but otherwise he is standing and seems to be fine.

-Penelope...- as soon as he hugs her, her armor collapses miserably. -Quiet, we're all fine, it's all right...- and yet something in his tone doesn't convince her. And the suspicion becomes atrocious after she enters their rooms and sees everyone except Luke. Why isn't he with others? Yet she doesn’t have the courage to ask anyone. She sets foot in the last and here is the answer. The body lying on that bed is completely covered with a white sheet. Dead. He can't be gone. He can't have abandoned her. She approaches a few steps but doesn’t dare to lift it. Not yet. -Why, Lord, did You have to put him in the middle?- she doesn’t notice at all that someone else has entered and remains on the threshold to listen to her. -It was my mistake, a lack of mine. I'm the one who doesn't have the courage to tell him how much I love him, how much I can't be without him and now... I'll have to try, but I don't think I'm able to do it. No. I know You have heard it said so many times, that they say that time helps, that what doesn’t kill you strengthens, makes you fat...- she doesn’t hear a slight chuckle behind her. -But I am very sure: I will not be able to recover. So, don't send me another handsome man to replace him, because I realized that no one replaces anyone. Derek is Derek and Luke is... he was...- she can't finish the sentence. -In short, I won't fall for a third time. I will always remain faithful to him, for what still remains for me to live... my only priorities will be Roxy and Twisty. I will never find another man so handsome, so interested in me, and above all...- huge male hands appear on her hips. She doesn't scream, because she seems to have recognized the scent that wrapped her. She is afraid to look down, but she forces herself to do so. She can no longer let her fears dominate her life. And she recognizes those hands. But it can't be...

-Hello.- he just tells her. Exactly the same word he had said to her the first time he saw her. -Hello, I'm Luke Alvez, from the task forces. I’ll collaborate with you in the case of Cullen...- she had ignored the hand he held out to her and merely glancing at him and raising her eyebrows, she had claimed -Penelope Garcia, computer technician. Now excuse me, but I'm very busy...- and she was gone, walking away on her vertiginous heels. -Penelope, love... are you okay?- it is not a hallucination, but this doesn't make less painful what she has felt. But she must be sure. She walks away and lifts the white sheet. Crumpled and wrinkled skin, different stitches... she lets it fall back down. It is an elderly person.

-Luke, I thought you were... dead.- the man makes a sign that he knows, he wraps his arms around her body to keep her closer. He too had the same terror. -It would have been my fault, because I can't tell you... show you.- it's ridiculous, she called thousands of people like that, she said that word to many people. She lifts on her toes and takes him by the face. He believes she wants to kiss him, but her intentions are different. -I love you.- she finally says. -I love you.- she repeats, as if the fact that she had worked so hard to pronounce it had opened the dam of her fears. -I love you and I understood, after all these years, that those two words are often not enough, that all that is between us is more important, that you were right: to stay awake waiting for your love to come back, is the biggest I love you that you can say.- she smiles, absorbs Luke's smile and now yes, he finally lays his lips on hers. Then she takes his hand and they leave the room.

-Pen, it's risky, the others are around here. They could see us.- he wants so much to get rid of this secret, but he will always and always put what she wants and what she needs, in the first place. Penelope sighs, increasing her grip.

-I know, but I'm not afraid anymore.-

_________________________________

TAG LIST: @shyladystudentfan  @norge-the-great @avengerquake123 @reidskitty13 @eclipseflower123 @lovebennycolon @pegasus-scifichick @theshamelessmanatee  @beana83 @ilovegarvez @martinab26 @hideourscars @ gracieeelizabeth27 @iliketomakecreampie @hepensadocosaspeores @arses21434 @sillygirlspy @mymidnightnightmare @teyamarra @mydreampenelope @lilises-blog @cosmicmelaninflower @thinitta @extremeobsessions101 @agentbishop @hellodawnwrightfan @kiki-krakatoa @amieatingevidence @ leftlamphumanfestival @ella1239me @flufflehufflepuffle @the-ellen-stuff I tagged just who liked at least a chapter of this story. Tell me if you want to be removed from the tag list ^^

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #BAU team #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia

[mbmrocks]

Ready Or Not Chapter 1 - Deja Vu

Prologue 

                    ~~~~11 years later~~~~

Light streamed curtains signalling the morning as Spencer lay watching his wife of nearly ten years sleeping peacefully. Every morning he found himself doing this before he left for work. The sight over her snuggled against him, made him feel at peace.

Sometimes he wondered how the team of profilers he worked with hadn't figured it out. Well, apart from Hotch but he had been his boss. It had been something both he and Darcy had talked about a great deal once they got married. Darcy had not understood both Hotch's reasoning that would be safer in theory and Spencer not wanting to lose her or their kids when they had come along. She was and still is incredibly anxious about meeting the people who her husband had thought of as family. That had changed however once Emily had taken over as unit chief. The couple had decided that there was no need to hide anymore. Sure, it would be a bit of a shock for the team at the BAU but after years of becoming comfortable with the situation they had both agreed they were tired of the secrets.

All going to plan at the next dinner held at Rossi's, which happened to be this weekend they would reveal everything.

"Daddy guess what "

The sound of a loud squeal catches Spencer's attention, just as his four-year-old daughter Mia rushes into the room. A gapped tooth grin on her face she jumps onto the bed where her parents were now sleeping.

"What is it my little bunny," he chuckles at the bundle of excited energy in front of him. It was that energy that earned her the nickname. Right from when she was born, she was always moving around like she was hopping everywhere because she moved from place to place so quickly

"The tooth fairy came," she grins a dollar bill rolled up in the palm of her hands. Her first tooth fairy visits and she was so excited.

"That's awesome sweetie," Darcy smiles sleepily having just been woken up. Spencer hadn't really been too keen on lying to his children about the tooth fairy and Santa etc. By the time Ava had been born, she had managed to convince him it wasn't lying. It was more preserving their child like innocence really. How could he say no to logic like that? Actually, it could have been her puppy dog eyes; potato, potato.

"Hey how about you go show your brothers," Spencer suggests knowing Darcy would need a little bit of time to wake it. Not that she wasn't a morning person, it just took her awhile to wake up fully.

Nodding eagerly, she jumps off the bed before racing out of the room.

"It's like she never stops," Darcy shakes her head, "and shouldn't you be at work already after all Dr Spencer Reid is never late."

Before he had the chance to reply, they sound of their oldest Charlie curse rings through the house. Well, technically he was Darcy's oldest and Spencer's stepson. Although Spencer had always treated him as his own son.

"I suppose I should deal with him, he didn't come home till after we all fell asleep, I caught him coming in his window when I got up for some water" Darcy sighs reaching to pull the blankets off her as Spencer does the same.

"Babe you need to get to work," she begins walking over to him before he could protest, "I've got Charlie."

"Alright, but you call me if you need anything," He tells her, feeling slightly bad she would have to deal with the unruly sixteen-year-old.

"I know," she smiles peaking his lips, a hand resting on his chest. "Now go get ready."

Kissing him once again she slips past exiting the room leaving him with a smile.

How did he get so lucky?

Twenty minutes later he arrives at the BAU a sad sigh escaping him. Mia and his other son ten-year-old Elijah hadn't been to impress about him not being there for breakfast, and he understood why. It hadn't been that long since he had been released from prison, which had been extremely hard for everyone. That also combined with the latest apprehension of Mr Scratch he hadn't been home much. Thankfully there hadn't been any cases as of late.

"Spence we're needed for a briefing," JJ waves him over once her inside.

And he thought today might be another day of simply just paperwork. Nope that not how things work at the BAU, monsters never sleep.

Once at the round table Spencer looks to the screen for the briefing to begin, Tara, Luke, Matt, Rossi and JJ following in suite as Emily stood opposite Garcia.

"We got a call from Bridgewater Florida PD. The body of Rebecca Strong was found last night in a rest stop women's room, with and without things," Garcia starts her voice tense and slightly frightened.

"Woah," Luke blinks as the images of Rebecca's body and the crime scene appear on the screen behind her. Rebecca lay dead in the stall; both her legs and all her fingers had been cut off, along with a pentagram carved into her chest.

"Yeah and then it gets worse," Garcia's mouth turns into a grimace, two pictures of her fingerless hands appearing with the click of her remote.

"All the tell-tale signs are here," JJ grimaces slightly as she opens her file, her eyes widening slightly.

"Pentagram, legs and fingers gone," Rossi continues

"There even one neat aspect, her earrings and jewellery were laid out equidistant on the floor," Emily concludes gesturing to one of the crime scene photos

"Certainly, looks like him," Rossi sighs

"Looks like who?" Matt asks confused.

"Floyd Feylinn Ferell," JJ answers leaning back in her seat as Ferrell's picture was now displayed on the screen

"A psychotic cannibal who had been killing under the radar for years," Spencer concludes

"He killed ten prostitutes, then moved up to low risk victims," Emily informed Tara, Luke and Matt the three newest members of the team.

"He kept slipping through the cracks and avoiding justice, so people referred to him as lucky.

"The worst of it was he owned a barbeque joint, and he fed one of his victims to the search party," Rossi shakes his head slightly in disgust.

"That is a very," Tara is cut off by Garcia putting her remote down suddenly and quite loudly. Everyone turns to Garcia who stood the seemingly frozen and very out of character.

"I uh I have a computer," she stumbles of her words not even finishing her sentence as she exits the conference room. Everyone looks at each other, wondering what was going on

"Was it something I said?" concern filled Tara's her eyes licking around the table then to Emily.

"No, that's not you," Emily assures her. "Um, we were working Ferrell's case when she was shot.

"Garcia was shot," Luke's widen in concern and surprise,

"Ten years ago," JJ informs them, "happened right in front of her apartment building."

"Just a random act of kindness?" Matt asks the three newest agents were taken aback, but the new.

"No, he lured her into dating him, before she ID him." she continues. "Turns out he was a dirty cop named Coby Baylor and she was getting close to exposing him."

"So, he shot her," Luke voices his thoughts, "where is he now."

"He's dead," JJ tells him, the matter of factly

"Good," Luke nods glad to hear that he wasn't around anymore.

"Let's just give her few minutes," Emily suggest, "Tara what were you saying

"Projected cannibalism. The act of inducing others to consume human flesh unknowingly, you do not see that very often."

"Projection seems to be a thing for Ferrell, he fed the fingers of he then previous victims to a later one," Emily frowns.

"His way of telling us he was ten victims deep before we even knew he existed," Rossi pipes in.

"You think he's back?" Luke asks looking at everyone.

"Not unless he really lives up to his nickname," Emily tells him. "He's been locked up in the Hazelwood psychiatric hospital for the last years.

"Well, then it's a copycat who wants to ride the wave of horror left in Ferrell's wake," Matt concludes that being the most obvious option.

"Statistically copycat killers tend to be vulnerable narcissist," Spencer begins he had been listening to everyone conversation, formulating his own theories, along with what he was going to tell his wife before he got on the plane. "Though overtly boastful the harbour deep seated feelings of inadequacy. Emulating notorious crimes makes them feel powerful.

"Ferrell was filed to be mentally incapable in assisting in his own defence," Rossi informs everyone, "so he escaped without trial."

"If unsub is anything like Ferrell, he's got a taste for it and copy cats typically don't stop after just one," Emily concluded the briefing. "Wheels up in twenty."

Now that they had all been briefed Spencer along with everyone else files out of the room, apart from JJ who Emily had asked to talk to.

Despite only just hearing about the case, Spencer could tell it was going to be a long one. Now to tell the family. They were not going to be happy. With a silent sigh, he pulls out his phone entering a now empty office.

"Where Spence," JJ asks as she enters the bullpen, Emily following behind.

"The kids in there," Rossi tells her gesturing towards the office Spencer was now in. Even at the age of 35, Spencer was still treated as the 'kid' of the team due to him still being the youngest member on the team.

"Probably talking to his Mum," JJ shrugs as she watches Spencer pace across the office floor through the glass windows. Unbeknown to them he was on the phone with his wife and kids who he adored. watching Spencer pace across the office, through its glass windows.

"Not sure actually," Rossi shrugs, "

Back in the office, Spencer waited patiently for Darcy to answer, praying he didn't miss her. Sure, enough she answers within seconds which causes him to smile.

"Hey, honey to what do I owe the pleasure?" Darcy asks from the driver seat of her car. Only just beginning school drop off.

"Bad news, we have got another case," Spencer sighs, "It looks like it will be a long one, I'm really sorry guys."

Hearing this the sound of protest from his two youngest rings in his ears. This was the part he hated about his jobs; not being there for his kids, his wife, his family. Seriously he was the luckiest man in the world, and he couldn't have asked for more.

When he got back things were going to change; all was going to be revealed

Although that was what he thought.

_____________________

Another chapter up and posted

Feel free to let me know what you think and what will happen 😉😉

Molly XX

#spencer reid #criminal minds #fanfic #secrets #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x oc #fanfiction #bau #ocappreciation

[ironwoman18]

Pairing: Maxcer (Spencer Reid and Maxine Brenner)

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Disclaimer: I don't own any Criminal Minds character, I just use for entertainment and to kill boredom.

This story is a study of Max and Spencer reactions during their conversation with Cat, so...

Spoiler alert!

The Worst Third Date Ever Part 1

Chapter 1: Cat's Plan

After their case in Illinois, Spencer and Max planned a date to drink coffee the morning after he arrived to DC.

Spencer was nervous because she wanted to see his apartment. It was something weird but he accepted.

He cleaned his apartment deeper than he intended to but he didn't want it to smell like an old-person apartment.

He puts on his favorite suit and a tie. He was cleaning the table for the fourth time when he hears his bell rings.

He runs to the door and opens it, there was Max. She was wearing a cute light gray shirt, a jacket and jeans "Hey"

He smiles "Hi, co...come in"

"Oh boy, you, uh... you cleaned" the smell hits her nose as soon as she walks in. His apartment was cute and cozy but that smell was awful.

"I did" he was cursing in his mind. Why was he nervous? She was so sweet and she wouldn't say something mean because his apartment was 'dirty'.

"Hey, uh, we're just getting coffee. Why did you bleach your apartment?"

"Well, even though it's out third coffee date, you wanted to see my apartment, which initially I actually thought was kind of odd, but then I remembered that I was actually the one that said you should meet me at my apartment,..." he started to babble which she thought was cute but also very confusing "... and then I realized I have not had company in... 4 years, so, I should probably open up a window. You know, air out the place"

She smiles at his speech, he was so cute but she started to feel like maybe her request to take things slow maybe make his feel uncomfortable or he wasn't happy about it.

She really likes him and doesn't want to lose him like a former boyfriend because she took things too quickly. She looks at him worry and asked "Are you ok with this?"

"With what?"

"Taking things slow"

"Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm good with that"

"Good, because, um... whenever I've taken things fast, I've been disappointed"

"I know the feeling" he looks at her "A...and I know what 'fast' means to me, but in your book, when you say 'fast' do you mean..." she laughs softly as his phone starts to ring "Sorry, I'm so sorry"

"Please" she says as she turns to see his apartment while he takes that call.

He looks disappointed when he realizes it was from Emily, which means work.

"Hey, what's up?"

"We have a case that's urgent"

"All right. I'll be right in"

"Spencer, there's something you need to know"

"Uh- huh. All right. Understood" Max was checking something on a table listened who his voice change from his usual calm and warm tone into a cold and tensed one.

Both turn to look at each other, she knows it's a case so there date have to wait, she understand it but still its disappointing "Work"

"Yeah" he was also disappointed because he likes to drink coffee with her but this was an important case.

"It's ok. Coffee can wait" he places a hand on his chest and pats it softly "Go save a life" she leaves his apartment and he was upset to lose this opportunity with her especially with the person he has to face with at work.

He drives as quick as possible to the bureau and asks Emily all the details. Cat Adams, somehow, did it again. She managed to kidnap two people with someone's help and managed to annoy him.

Emily ordered the prison to bring her to their offices to interrogate her, of course it was his job. She always says her plans to him. That's there game.

She wanted a date with him, but that would never happens. He won't accept her demands, she must have a hidden agenda but what did she has in store for them?

She got into his skin quite quickly this time. He has to leave, take off his tie because he couldn't breathe for the anger he felt and throw some books on the floor.

After some minutes he calmed himself and walks to inform what she said about the date and about the people she kidnapped were father and daughter, a slightly change from her usual M.O.

They decided to send Emily to talk to her while Spencer stay outside. And he decided to call Max to check on her, he needs to hear her voice after his face off with Cat.

When she sees his phone number she let go a sigh of happiness "Hey, you" she was picking up her coffee.

"Hey, how's your day going?"

"Amazing actually. I got a phone call from my headhunter about a position at the Smithsonian creating programs for people with disabilities. I am drooling I want it so bad" he happiness makes him smiles a little.

"You're gonna get it"

She can tell there was something wrong but can't quite get it. He did not sound like himself so she decided to ask him "Hey, um... are you ready to tell me about what's been going on? Because there is something"

'Yeah there is something' thought him but of course he does not want to bother her with his problems with Cat. But he does not want to make her feel he does not thrust her so he told her "it's an old case. Someone I arrested that I thought I was done with"

"Well, we could talk about it tonight, maybe. Could be our first night time date" she smirks thinking about a night date with him. She wants to keep going out with him.

"Only if we don't talk about any of this, ok? I don't want to waste another second on her"

"Her?" He cursed under his breath when he realizes he told Max, his problems were because of a woman.

"It"

"It" she was not stupid, she heard him saying her so it was a woman messing with him. She was not the jealous kind of woman but still hates it when another woman mess up with her boy... 'no, he still isn't your boyfriend Max' she was thinking.

"I uh..." he was nervous.

"It just... it sounded like you said..."

"I have to go. Keep me posted."

"Right. You... you too"

"Bye" and he hung up. She bites her lip a little angry and wanting to know what was happening.

He was weird and she was worry but she will wait until tonight when they can talk.

After that he didn't call again and neither did she. She sent her resume to her headhunter so he gives it to the museum so they make their decision.

Meanwhile she does some painting and plans her classes. At night she got a phone call. She smiles thinking it was Spencer call to let her know he was ready to pick her up for their date.

The number was not registered but she answer "Hello Max, I have your sister Eloise" her sister scream to show her it was not a joke "if you want her alive and well... go to Spencer Reids apartment, there's a key under the mat" and she hung up leaving Max crying and shaking.

She managed to go to her car and drives to his apartment. Not knowing what will happens or what she will found.

OOooOOooOO

Ok this was all for now. I hope you like this first part. The second will be up tomorrow or tonight.

There will be all the dialogues between these three characters and their emotions.

I hope my writing isnt that bad. English isnt my native language.

#Maxcer #Maxine Brenner #Cat Adams #Spencer Reid #Romance #Angst

[okimargarvez]

HURT- open wounds- 21

Original title: Hurt.

Prompt: Luke’s dark thought, destiny, contrasted love.

Warnings: sexual content, dark thoughts.

Genre: angst, drama, romantic, smut, dark, mistery, frienship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, BAU team, O.C.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: multichapter.

Legend: 💏😘😈🔦🐶❗🎈👻.

Song mentioned: La tua vita intera, Tiziano Ferro.

Hurt- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

Chapter 21-

Another exhausting day. A series of exhausting days. Everyone works thinking only of Spencer. They don’t stop for a second, they spend the night, until sunrise and beyond, in that interrogation room. Who by marking the locations where executions of homicides happened with a modus operandi attributable to Lindsey, who by calling, asking for favors, blackmailing (almost) their own acquaintances, and who even putting at risk their career (Emily) and who by tormenting judges. But in the end, all those sacrifices had had made sense, because now Spencer was out of jail, he was no longer accused of any crime, he just had to wait to be reinstated. Once an obstacle was overcome, another one remained: Reid's mother was in their hands.

Prentiss had said to take a moment of calm, of silence, of hope that Spencer would be strong enough to get some information with Cat, a chick who he had helped to put in prison, deceiving her; a contract killer who pretended to be Mr. Scratch. Lewis had never been there. She had made fun of them.

Then she had added to forget that moment and focus only on her: Cat.

But maybe they really needed that moment.

Luke can’t help but think about it, while his eyes continue to analyze documents.

Especially if he thinks back to certain things, certain repercussions, consequences of this continuous search, this anxiety that hadn’t even let them breathe.

 It had seemed strange to him that Penelope wasn’t there with them to discuss. Everyone was there, she was the only one wasn't. He was about to get up to go check in her office when he noticed Emily with a weird espression as she read a message on her cell phone and then walk away. Something had given him confidence that this was about his girlfriend. He had then waited, showing an interest in what his colleagues were saying that he didn’t have, because the only thing he could think of was her. And when Prentiss had returned, he had been sure: something bad had happened. So, he had pretended to go to the bathroom and instead he had gone to the offices and found her outside. Completely still, the gaze fixed and distant.

-Penelope… Are you?- she hadn’t shaken and probably hadn’t heard him. -Penelope?- he had shaken her shoulders and finally she had returned to earth. -What happened?- Luke knew she had understood his question perfectly.

-Nothing important...- but he had seen the tears on either side of her eyes.

-Hey, do you think you can get away with this?- then his eyes had noticed for the first time the folder that she held in her hands. He hadn’t asked any more questions. He had torn it from her without much ceremony. -Do you want to leave the team?- he had felt almost fainting.

-I don’t have to stay in the BAU because we are together...- she had almost shouting. Too many almost in his memories. -Luke, do you know what Reid did today?- he shook his head -He hurted himself, to be put in isolation and to make Shaw accused! It's in danger! He risks dying at any moment!- she had swallowed before adding the last part. -If he dies, I'm leaving!- then she had finally burst into tears in his arms. The sobs had been strong and deep even more than the previous times. Luke had stroked her back and her hair gently. When she had finally calmed down, he had laid his hands on her face.

-But this job is your life...- always with shining eyes, she had shook her head.

-This job is killing me.- so she gad managed to get rid of his grip and had quickly left.

When she had returned to the meeting room, there were hardly any signs of her cry. Only Prentiss and Luke knew the reality. And there wasn’t time to think about it. They had to free Spencer and there was less and less time.

Next to him Penelope was frantically typing at the computer. From the corner of his eye he had saw that she was writing yet another email.

Emily had then returned with the court's green light and so, along with JJ, they had left immediately to get him out of the prison. Finally, they didn’t have to pretend, the blonde in fact already knew something, they took advantage to update it. So, they had could holding hands while Luke drove. And that contact had helped them. Then they had parted: JJ had immediately went to Reid, Luke to Shaw and Penelope had remained alone to wait outside.

The waiting was exhausting. She feared that from a moment someone came back saying they arrived too late. And then, instead, here they were. She loved Luke with every part of herself, but in those moment her eyes were fixed on the boy wonder. She didn’t notice that, otherwise, the man who was her boyfriend was looking at her carefully. That his gaze turned on right at the moment when he saw her, finally with that smile on her face, liberatory. And her watery eyes, even if he was distant, he wa able to saw them. But Penelope didn’t look at him, never. He was been a little sad for this, but he had made an effort to pretend nothing. What matters was that she felt fine and now they had Spencer, so there was much hope that it could happened. He was been jealous when he had saw them hugged, because he would have wanted to be in his place, to benefit from a such serene expression. And then they had also walked hand in hand. He had felt deeply stupid for being envious of one who just went out from the jail. He then had looked at JJ, who had looked at him back, but she was too moved to understand what he was thinking.

The return trip was very different than the rouward journey. Reid didn’t know that they were together and clearly Garcia wasn’t going to let him find out. Not yet, she would have added.

When Emily had said that, taking a moment, etcetera, Luke had immediately looked at Penelope. He had an immense need to make love with her, to feel her, to be one thing with her. To have a moment, yes, a moment only for them, free from these thoughts, from pain. A moment to dream of the future that, since he had misunderstood her when she asked him if they could take Twisty, it hadn’t stopped tormenting him. It was no longer enough for him to live under the same roof. When he could sleep, he dreamed of rings, wedding dresses, Roxy as a damsel, Tara catching the bouquet. Or even worse: children, or rather, a dark-haired girl like his but the face has her mother. A dream, especially the second, impossible, absurd. They were too old to think of becoming parents, especially biological ones. But Penelope, she had to become a mother, she was too good with children (he had happened to see her with JJ's sons).

Luke is awakened from his thoughts by an exclamation of the woman next to him. That even beats a slap on the desk, making him jumps. -I found it! I found a connection!- she takes him by the face and kisses him. They are in her bunker, waiting for the show to start, which is the direct questioning of Cat by Spencer. Nobody in a situation like that will notice the fact that they are collaborating, although Garcia in theory has always expressed the desire to keep him at a distance.

-Honey, if you act in this way it will be difficult for me to concentrate...- at the beginning it's a joke, but it soon becomes much more serious. -Seriously, Penelope- and now she is staring at him worried -I don’t remember the last time I have sleeping, I start to be quite dizzy. I drank too many coffees in these last hours. I know we can’t give up, because we have to find Diana, but... I need a refill.- his eyes perfectly reveal what he means. Yet a minimum of doubt remains in the woman.

-What kind of charging?- how much her voice sounds innocent. But Luke knows perfectly well that she is innocent, naive and sweet at least as sexy, tempting and provocative. An explosive mix that makes his head spin. -Luke, is that the case?- he nods.

-Yup. I am convinced that after it, we will succeed in thinking more lucid in mind. You know how they say, when you are desperately looking for a solution, even if it's only a definition of the crossword puzzle, the best thing you can do is divert a moment attention, do something else and then come back. The solution will appear as if by magic.- he smiles at her, and hell, that kind of smiles should be illegal. Although she still shows herself indecisive and contrary, within herself she already knows she has surrendered. -We still have a quarter of an hour...- he says, pointing to the clock.

Fifteen minutes before Spencer returns to a prison. -What happened in Yemen?- but she still has a card to play and she uses it immediately. Luke, who was already preparing for the attack, is shocked by a similar question. Where did she find…?

-Did Emily say that to you?- she shakes her head. But his girlfriend is a hacker, he must never forget it.

-No. I was in the next room, looking for a document, and I heard you. It must be something bad, if that guy, Kevin, took it so badly...- for a moment the man finds himself catapulted into the past, at that time when he was determined not to let her know anything about what he had experienced in war and afterwards, the ghosts that tormented him and only thanks to her, had considerably reduced their daily visits. He had managed to tell her about Phil before their paths crossed with that of Daniel Cullen. This meant admitting his faults. And he was terrified by the idea that by doing so he would have revived those thoughts and shadows that seemed to have subsided.

-Yes... so many bad things happened there.- an evasive answer, that could be true for anything. He takes her face in his hands and begins to caress her, further confusing her, aware of this. -I've seen so many horrible things in the war. You may have seen all the documentaries you want, even tear-jerker or super-convincing like those of Michael Moore... and I don’t say that they only tell lies, no. But war, living the war, is another thing. No one can manage to describe what one feels, not even the greatest poets, no matter how some of them arrived so close...- a pause. She hangs on his lips. -I could talk to you about civilians massacred in the name of a state that thinks only of its profits. Or innocent children, used as a shield from their own country. Of sleepy consciences and others deeply active, among those who fought in the front line. I could tell you that, anyway, Orwell was right: the war is not made to be won (or lost), but only to never end.- the tone becomes low and sad, any trace of malice disappears, despite he feels more and more the desire to make love with her now, in the last ten minutes that remain. -I could say many other similar things, banalities that are worth for any conflict, whether it be the First, the Second World War, or that in Vietnam, any war. These are trivial things, it's true, but they don’t cease to be correct.- another pause. -A great part of the people return from the front and show signs of mental collapse, PTSD and other similar symptoms. And the reasons are so few that you can count on the fingers of one hand.- he squeezes that of Penelope. -You could look for documents about it and find out everything about Yemen, with your skills, but those files would contain only digits and inert words. The reality of the facts is in the spirit of whoever was in that place and I don’t think it takes that you know the details.- Luke's speech is so serious and long, that she is astonished, like she was mouldable by his hands.

That's why in those little more than seven minutes that remain before someone will knock on the door, Penelope lets herself go to the guide of him, accepts any of his choice, even to exorcise everything with a role-playing game in which she is the political prisoner and he is... the guard charged with watching her. Although it should be a liberating, stupid thing, a game, in fact, she perfectly grasps the implications of each gesture and sees a truth film in the eyes of her lover. A film that no documentary could replace.

_____________

TAG LIST: @shyladystudentfan  @norge-the-great @avengerquake123 @reidskitty13 @eclipseflower123 @lovebennycolon @pegasus-scifichick @theshamelessmanatee  @beana83 @ilovegarvez @martinab26 @hideourscars @ gracieeelizabeth27 @iliketomakecreampie @hepensadocosaspeores @arses21434 @sillygirlspy @mymidnightnightmare @teyamarra @mydreampenelope @lilises-blog @cosmicmelaninflower @thinitta @extremeobsessions101 @agentbishop @hellodawnwrightfan @kiki-krakatoa @amieatingevidence @ leftlamphumanfestival @ella1239me @flufflehufflepuffle I tagged just who liked at least a chapter of this story. Tell me if you want to be removed from the tag list ^^

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia