#like sure i had a tattoo in german but at least i could actually understand the alpabet (also i covered it up now)

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #129

What was the last thing that stressed you out or upset you? [TW: EATING DISORDER/SIMILAR BEHAVIOR] I had a breakdown at Girt's yesterday over how I'm being with food; I'd been basically starving for a while, like I was physically weak from it, but when I was presented with the opportunity to eat, I just emotionally collapsed because I still didn't want to eat because the longer I go without eating, the more proud of myself I am. I'm so fucking grateful for how helpful and reassuring his family was.

Are you more talented musically or artistically or neither? Artistically, for sure.

What were your best subjects in school? English/language arts, German, and art. I think my science grades were noteworthy all throughout at LEAST high school, too. The one thing I did struggle with/was absolutely never able to understand though was like, combining chemical formulas or whatever they were called. My physical science teacher (who today is our landlord/family friend) got such a kick out of how there was just this one topic that could NOT click in my mind, regardless of her explaining it to me one-on-one ten billion times. I was great at everything else, but with that stuff? My brain just turns the fuck off.

What was your favorite subject in school? ^ Actually those same ones. Oh, I did also take a mythology elective course in high school that I very much enjoyed, too.

What is the name of your YouTube channel? It's 0zzkat (zero, not an "o" bc it was already taken sobs)

What would your name be if you were the opposite gender? Coincidentally I asked my mom this two days back in a relevant convo at the tattoo parlor, and she said she didn't really know because with me and my sisters, she "knew" we were girls before it was officially discovered. She did say she liked the name Michael, though. Completely content with being Brittany and not Michael lmao

What show did you most want to be on as a kid? Hm, I dunno. Well, besides Pokemon if it were real, lol.

Describe your dream wedding in five words. Intimate, absolutely allows room for goofiness, gothic, non-traditional, and full of love and knowing I've made the right choice.

Who is your celebrity crush? why rzk gotta Look Like That at over 50 years old, calm the FUCK down

Have you ever been on a doubledate? Yes, with an extra friend that needed some cheering up. It was my favorite date that I've ever been on.

Favorite soup? I don't really like soup.

What do you want most? To be happy and content with myself.

What’s an unpopular opinion you have politically? I don't really believe in total eradication of law enforcement officials, that just sounds like a bad idea in the end, but I do VERY much believe that major reform is 100% mandatory in law enforcement. Because right now, that shit gets dark.

If you were to go to a Disney-themed costume party, what would you dress up as? Hmmmm... I think some sort of adaptation of the Cheshire cat would be very cool.

What is an ability you believe everyone should have? To listen and consider outside perspectives. People tend to wanna be right 100% of the time and just close themselves off to the possibility of them not being right, so they don't challenge their flawed opinions, practices, etc.

Name a song that’s fun to sing along to. HAHA "Bartender Song" by Rehab INSTANTLY comes to mind, I think EVERYBODY loves beltin that shit for no reason, lol. I think I also just remember doing this a lot with Colleen, in times where we had loads of fun, so it's a good memory.

Do you know how your parents met? They were co-workers.

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve? I personally have no interest in owning a restaurant, but if I did, I think I'd try to be a vegan location, but with shit that's ACTUALLY good quality and convincing, even to non-vegans like myself. It's a cause I really support and would love to be more exposed to it, but also I know basically zero vegan locations here, so it'd be different and attractive too certain people for that reason.

What’s the fanciest event you’ve ever attended? Wanna say that dinner I attended at the end of high school for being in the top like, 10% or even less of the graduating class as far as GPAs went. I still have that plaque in this very room because it meant so much to me and was so validating that I wasn't a total idiot and capable of a lot.

Do you experience intrusive thoughts? YES and they freak me out

What is the best name you’ve heard an animal named? I mean it totally depends on the kind of pet, but I can say that I fucking love when people give like, cute cats and the like names that make them sound like the apocalyptic wrath of god compressed into this teeny animal, haha.

Morbid, I apologize. How do you think you’ll die? Ugh... I don't wanna think about this. But almost definitely some sort of health condition, probably relating to the heart.

What woke you up this morning? I just naturally woke up, literally past 2 PM lmao. Between the breakdown yesterday, recovering from a new tattoo, and getting HORRIBLE sleep lately, I guess I just seriously needed it.

Would you rather have many hobbies or 1 true passion? That's super hard, but I thiiiink many hobbies. That enables me to have fun in so many more ways, and encourages more variety in my life.

I feel like every school has one. What was a school scandal your town’s school had? Forewarning, this is REALLY FUCKING GROSS, so if you don't wanna read just pure gross shit, skip. But basically in high school there was a massive uproar over a video of a student going around the Internet where she covered a Certain Part of her body with peanut butter and let her dog... yeah. Been over a decade and I still struggle to accept someone (especially a minor, that's an extra layer of gross) ACTUALLY did that.

If you have pets, what would you ask them if they could speak? Roman: why the hell he's so intent on lying on the keyboard or on the mouse, lmao. Also why he's so terrified of strangers, especially since he was never abused or even had a bad experience with one. Venus: if she's content/happy. Or what she'd change if she could vocalize it to me. I think it's pretty normal to wonder this with caged animals, especially those that are less domesticated species. Cookie: why the HELL she loves to pee on the very, VERY edge of her pads, generally so she actually does it right beside them instead of on them. It drives my mom BATSHIT insane. Even at her old place she always used pads so it's something we do here too, and I mean she's a teeny-tiny dog so it's not really a nuisance... when she actually lands on them, lmfao.

What compliment did you last receive? Really don't know the chronologically last one Shelia (Girt's mom) said to me yesterday, because there was just a lot and I was also in a very bad mental state so my focus wasn't exactly all there.

Would you rather get a facial or massage? Facial. I'd find a massage excruciatingly awkward unless you were like my very serious s/o, and even with them I'm just self-conscious so would still be anxious.

Who is tallest in your family? I wanna say my brother. Possibly Dad? Idk.

Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? My younger sister; I was asking her what date Dad's birthday is so I don't forget again this year. I knew it was in April, but I wanted the date and had zero interest in asking Mom because she doesn't like any of us kids showing even an ounce of interest in him as a person, honestly.

Do you bathe your pets regularly? No, none of them really need it. Roman does need to be brushed very frequently (it is INSANE how much fur constantly comes off this short-haired cat), though. I think my mom does occasionally use this foam shampoo stuff on Cookie, actually.

Would you have any clue when your best friend last got their hair cut? His older sister did semi-recently.

Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? Juan, but it's from many days ago. I don't chat on Messenger much.

When was the last time you saw them? Like... 2016?

Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? My sister's husband's name is Nick, but I've no clue what his favorite food is.

Are you obsessed with anything? Meerkats are my CONSTANT obsession, like that started when I was a literal 10-year-old and hasn't stopped. My biggest obsession right now is Rammstein tho. Also very into tarantulas and the prospect of one day having one (definitely not dozens, no way man).

Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I refuse to drink diet because 1.) the aspartame or whatever causes me headaches, and 2.) they're JUST gross, to the point it's completely unenjoyable to drink them.

Do you think you’ll ever delete your Facebook account? Nah. There have been MANY occasions I've considered remaking it just to leave behind old posts and stuff that no longer even remotely align with who I am, but all the effort just for that does not seem worth it, and besides, some of the stuff I don't want to leave behind.

Do you think 10 years from now you’ll still be taking surveys? HA YUP

List 3-10 things in nature you find amazing. LAJSDLKFAJWKEJWERA EOH BOY THERE'S SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some that immediately come to mind are just the circle of life itself (death nourishing and growing into new life), ginormous trees like redwoods, the process of evolution and nature's whole history on this planet, volcanoes, caves, AURORA BOREALIS, giant waterfalls like Niagra Falls, just how humongous sealife can grow, interspecies "friendships" (for example there are species of tarantulas that *basically* keep frogs as pets for mutually beneficial reasons), the fact dolphins like to get high for fun lmfao, fungi and stuff, UGH THERE'S JUST SO MUCH COOL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

List three ways in which you are sensitive. Just three? Well, that's easy. The one that immediately comes to mind are ways my AvPD manifests, like how I will basically feel like I got physically shot if you make me feel dumb or weird for liking something or just judge me harshly in general for interests; I am VERY sensitive to basically any form of rejection; and I'm the person who WILL get upset if you make a joke that is intended to be harmless but involves a topic I'm personally sensitive about.

How many brothers do you have? One, and he's my half-brother. Still my brother in the ways that matter, though. I just wish I got to see him more.

Are you faithful in a relationship? I can confidently say one of the very last things you ever have to worry about as my s/o is me cheating, so yes.

List three things you can see if you look out the window closest to you. The garbage and recycling bins, the road, houses across the street.

What are three ways in which you are blessed? Not a fan of the word "blessed" here, I prefer just "fortunate," but regardless: I have a roof over my head, fucking fantastic people who support me, and even though it's a terrible one, we do have a car to get places.

What group of people do you feel like you fit in with the most? Uh... I dunno. Goths? At least at heart, haha.

Where is one place you’ve been in which you didn’t feel like you fit in at all? My sister's house on holidays, lmfao. They are the complete opposite of me.

Would you describe yourself as a wallflower? Oh for sure.

What are three little things in life that you enjoy? Pretty days with nice weather, hearing small streams of water like creeks run, and soda lmfao, but at least I've stopped having it regularly. I'm convinced the craving for it, especially when I've had a terrible day, will never go away, though.

If you could pick any three foreign countries to visit and explore, which three would you pick, and why? South Africa, because I want to visit the KMP but also I just find Africa to EASILY be the most stunning continent on this whole planet, I would be entirely stoked if I got to explore more of the country!! Then of course there's Germany; I've had a thing for Germany since high school when I took all the available language courses in it, it just seems like a nice, pretty place with the sort of weather I'd enjoy, and I'd love to try different foods and stuff. I know there are certainly people who still have a bad taste in their mouth regarding the country, but when learning about their culture and stuff and how disgusted the very vast majority ARE by their own history (take some fucking notes, USA <333333), they just sound like good and very honest people to get to know. For third place I'd probably pick Italy, especially to visit Venice and Rome! I don't even think I really need to explain why I wanna visit Italy, like who DOESN'T, haha. It looks like fucking paradise.

Do you feel you can honestly say that Jesus saved your life? I saved my own motherfucking life, get out. Religion nearly RUINED my goddamn life.

What are three pleasant surprises that you enjoy? Mom randomly coming home with a Mtn. Dew for me lmao (does not happen often, I really have gotten a lot better, but because of the rarity of it of course it's exciting), Girt deciding he's gonna come by here after work, or weighing myself and seeing the number drop whatsoever.

What are three ways in which you would describe yourself as “normal”? Uh, when speaking of my morality is one; I certainly don't think I'm evil, but I'm no leading public figure of some cause either - just your normal "good" person, I hope. Uh... I can't think of anything else quickly, I generally see myself as lacking in most areas.

... and what are three ways in which you would say you are not normal? I don't have my driver's license at 27 years old, nor do I have a bank account/any sort of monetary card/even just a job, and I know my mental health and its general stability is far from "normal."

What would you say is the best thing about your life right now? My legs getting stronger and being able to ACTUALLY tell with total certainty is a major source of joy for me these days. Just this past Friday, I walked down my sister's porch steps much more normal, and I stg it made my entire fucking day. For a VERY long time I've had to do one step at a time on basically any staircase, meaning I had to get both feet on a single step before going onto the next, but I didn't this time.

What are three of your favorite ways to help people? My top one is easy: be there for emotional support. Listen and comfort them whenever they need it. I've also noticed that when my s/o is sick, I go FULL maid mode completely willingly, like I just want to make their recovery as easy and peaceful as physically possible. I also am very big into supporting small businesses, especially of those close to me; I'd favor their services over others, and you can bet your ass I'd tell anyone about them when relevant.

Do you enjoy creative writing? HELL FUCKING YES it brings me so much joy and satisfaction.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

[hwiyoungies]

WHYYY why is this friend tattooing kanjis when she can’t even speak japanese what the fuck whY the fuck

#and she's like kanjis ooh so fun thank you for trusting me! #like dude!!!!! even if you stared at the character for long enough there's no way of knowing if you fucked up a line or not #because you don't know the language!!! and it's not just a cute accesory or a quirky thing to do!!!! #and even if you say you respect the japanese culture and language by doing this you're proving you do not!!!! #why do people love getting tattoos in languages they can't even read!!!!! #like sure i had a tattoo in german but at least i could actually understand the alpabet (also i covered it up now) #with asian languages (not just east asian but all asian languages) you can't even read what it says if you don't know it #like yeah you just did the kanji for wisdom but 1 can you even say it and 2 are you sure that's how it's done #are you fucking sure #the reason why i'm so mad about this is because she constantly preaches about respect and shit like that #she goes to the protests here she's very involved in the movement #but the moment that it's about other cultures all that speech is out of the window #and not only her but almost everyone here #and it's fucking infuriating #because if you tell them hey that's actually very disrespectful they come with the ''oh but then i can't enjoy other cultures??'' #and completely miss the point you're trying to make #i called her out for wearing a bindi and she was like ooh ok i'm gonna keep putting stickers on my forehead tho #i want to call her out on this as well but i feel like i don't have the proper words to express why it's wrong #and i'm also tired and don't wanna argue lol #honestly if it was anyone else i would be like yeah fuck them #but it's the fact that it's so hypocrite of her that makes me mad #literal doble discurso y le importa un pico #b.txt #OH WAIT I FORGOT she also identifies as pan because bi is not ~inclusive enough~

[crazy-loca-blog]

Hello hello! Are you ready for a change? Here we go with:

Not Yet Wed Questions

Note: Great Scott! This week, we are going back in time to MC’s intern year. Think of Ethan’s relationship with them at this point and answer the following questions accordingly. It is entirely up to you when in year 1 this takes place (pre/post Miami, pre/post CH 15, etc). Feel free to answer with dialogue or pictures or both :) Have fun!

No worries. All of this is off the record and HR will never know!

The setting for this answers is:

For Both

When I first saw them, I thought__________

What is your coworker's most used swear word?

Quick: What color are their eyes?

Three people at work your coworker hates?

What is your coworker’s strangest or most endearing quirk?

If they had a crush on anyone at work, who would that be?

(Bonus round! Feel free to skip.)

Never have I Ever:

come into work hungover

had a fistfight

been kicked out of a bar

gotten a tattoo

broken someone’s heart

been in love

For MC (Ethan is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

What do you find the most impressive about him?

Last thing he texted you?

If he asked you out on a date, what would you say?

For Ethan (MC is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

What specifically do you find attractive about her?

Last thing she texted you?

If she asked you out on a date, how would you respond?

Hey Bree!!!

Oh... my... God (read it in Janice's voice, of course)... this is brilliant!!

In my head, there was a time where they both were trying to figure out whether their feelings were real or if everything was just a consequence of spending so much time together (nope, it's canon that Casey has a lot of doubts about herself and her abilities to be a doctor, so given the fact that she lacks of confidence, there is no way in my head that Ethan was the only one having doubts about them and their feelings for each other). So this is before Miami, somewhere around chapter 8, but before chapter 9. The interview takes place at the diagnostics team office... and Bree herself is the one in charge of asking the questions this time!

Masterlist

Ethan: Please remind me why are we doing this instead of taking care of our patients...

Casey: Because you deserve to do things for fun... and our shifts ended an hour ago... now stop complaining, Bree is already here to ask us some questions...

~~*~~*~~

For Both:

Bree: When I first saw them, I thought __________

Casey: I didn't think anything... I was freaking out because the patient was dying! I was only fully aware that he was next to me when he held my hand because I was shaking. The whole situation is a little blurry in my head.

Ethan: I thought she was the only one in the room with the minimal knowledge to help me save that woman. I couldn't understand why she was just standing there instead of helping.

Bree: What is your coworker's most used swear word?

Both, in unison: fuck!

*Laughs*

Ethan: She also says "dammit" when things don't go the way she wants, but you know that she is really mad when she begins to swear in German. Or what she says is German.

Casey: An exchange student at medical school taught me a few things, so yes, it's German. He also says "Christ" and "Jesus" quite a lot. Weird for a non-religious guy, if you ask me...

Bree: Quick: What color are their eyes?

Casey: Blue

Ethan: Green

*They look in the eyes and smile to each other ... maybe longer than expected*

Bree: *thinking to herself* Why am I suddenly feeling like the third wheel here?

Bree: Three people at work your coworker hates?

Casey: Not fair! He hates everyone at work!

Ethan: I don't hate you

Casey: Now I do feel special

Ethan: You should

*Casey wide-opens her eyes and tries not to blush*

Ethan: *realizing what he just said* I... I mean... what I'm trying to say is that you're not as the other interns, so working with you is very enjoyable, even though you're still stubborn and a pain in my ass... don't let it go to your head...

Casey: Too late... I feel honored... but going back to the question, I don't think it's that hard... Dr. Cyrus, Dr. Thorne...

Ethan: *under his breath* ...assholes...

Casey: ...and even though you don't hate her as a person, you've made Dr. Emery's job a hell this year, so I'm not so sure if you actually like working with her...

Ethan: It's equally hard for me because you seem to like everyone and everyone seems to like you... but... even if you don't seem to hate them, I know at least three interns that you'd prefer not to work with: Dr. Emery, she left you dealing with your first patient by yourself and she only takes the cases that she finds interesting and challenging... Dr. Varma, she is a very good doctor, but I have no doubt that she'd throw you under the bus to win the competition... and the other one is your roommate...

Casey: Sienna? I mean... Dr. Trinh?

Ethan: No, no, the guy...

Casey: Dr. Greene?

Ethan: No, the other one...

Casey: Dr. Olsen?

Ethan: Him! I always forget his name... You both are like oil and water. The way you envision patient care is very different to his, so you don't feel comfortable working with him.

Casey: How do you know that?

Ethan: Simple observation... don't forget that I'm constantly evaluating you all.

Bree: What is your coworker’s strangest or most endearing quirk?

Casey: He pinches the bridge of his nose more times than I can count in a day.

Ethan: She unconsciously fidgets with her hands when she's nervous and she bites her lip when she's too concentrated thinking about something or when she knows she did something wrong.

Bree: If they had a crush on anyone at work, who would that be?

Ethan: Don't deny it, I've seen you with the paramedic... and the surgeon...

Casey: Your people watching abilities must be failing, Dr. Ramsey... I adore them, but they're just friends...

Ethan: I'm very convinced that they don't see you "as a friend"...

Casey: *blushing* Do you think so?

Ethan: I don't "think so", I know it

Casey: What about Dr. Emery? I might have seen things, too...

Ethan: I don't know what was I thinking when I told you we used to date...

~~*~~*~~

Never have I Ever:

Casey: Yay! Bring the drinks!

Ethan: Rookie, we're at a hospital.

Casey: Who said anything about alcohol? I was thinking about the coffee...

Ethan: *Pinching the bridge of his nose* Interns...

Bree: come into work hungover

*They both drink coffee*

Casey: How many times?

Ethan: Once, in my intern year... I learned my lesson the hard way... what about you?

Casey: Same...

Ethan: So, here is the deal... you don't tell my secret and I don't tell yours...

Casey: Deal!

Bree: had a fistfight

*They both drink coffee*

Ethan: *surprised* You?!

Casey: It wasn't a fistfight, but I might have punched a girl back in high school... she was bullying me... I tried talking to her, but apparently she didn't get the message... there is a part of me that regrets it, but there is also a part of me that tells me I did the right thing.

Ethan: Did she keep bullying you after that?

Casey: Nope

Ethan: Then you did the right thing, Rookie

Casey: *smiling* What about you?

Ethan: Same, actually... never been on a fight, but I punched an ass once

Casey: *laughing* Do you expect me to believe that?

Ethan: What?

Casey: None of what you said! There is no way that you punched a person just once...

Bree: been kicked out of a bar

*Casey drinks coffee*

Ethan: Again?

Casey: One of my friends fell asleep at the bar...

Ethan: No comments...

Bree: gotten a tattoo

*None of them drink coffee*

Casey: ...nope...

Ethan: ...not my type of thing...

Bree: broken someone’s heart

*None of them drink coffee*

Casey: Not that I know...

Ethan: I have no idea...

Casey: Come on... I'm sure you have... look at that face!

*Casey points at Ethan's face*

*Ethan drinks coffee*

Ethan: Maybe in my teen years...

Casey: I knew it!

Bree: been in love

*None of them drink coffee*

Casey: I thought I had, but I've been thinking a lot about it lately... and I'd say no.

Ethan: Intimate feelings are just neurochemical responses, I don't even think that "being in love" is a thing.

~~*~~*~~

For Casey (Ethan is not there)

Bree: For this part of the interview, I want you to know that your answers will remain confidential... everything will stay between us.

Casey: Okay...

Bree: Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

Casey: This is Ethan Ramsey we're talking about. He could do whatever he wants to and he'll succeed. He's driven and a perfectionist, so he'll always find a way to achieve his goals. I don't see him leaving Edenbrook, he would have left forever ago if he had wanted, so I guess he feels comfortable here. An admin? I don't think so, his passion is working with patients. But you never know.

Bree: What about his personal life?

Casey: I just want him to be happy. He has a tough exterior and I know he seems to be an ass at first, but he's one of the most caring people I've met. And even though I don't know what exactly happened, after you get to know him, you can tell he's gone through a lot, so he deserves the best in life.

Bree: What do you find the most impressive about him?

Casey: The most logical answer would be his mind. He is a brilliant doctor. But above all, he is an amazing human being. He has morals, he is noble and he'll always go the extra mile for the people he cares, in his very Ethan Ramsey's way that is. Most of the time, he is not conscious of what a good guy he is.

Bree: Last thing he texted you?

Casey: His address... we are treating a patient who asked us to keep things private, so there are some things about this case we can't discuss at the hospital.

Bree: If he asked you out on a date, what would you say?

Casey: He won't know these answers, right?

Bree: Nope.

Casey: Pinky promise?

Bree: Pinky promise

Casey: *blushing* Okay, so... thinking about this as a very hypothetical situation where he asks me out... because we know that's not going to happen because he is my boss and I'm an intern... not that you can't do it, but it just wouldn't be okay... I think I'd say yes. I mean... look at him! He is incredibly handsome and he could have any woman he wanted! Just add his mind to the mixture and you have the full package... yes, he is the type of person that I'd want to get to know better.

Bree: *smiling* Thank you, Dr. Valentine!

~~*~~*~~

For Ethan (Casey is not there)

Bree: Okay, Dr. Ramsey, for this part of the interview, I want you to know that your answers will remain confidential... everything will stay between us.

Ethan: This is scary...

Bree: Where do you see her in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

Ethan: She'll take over the world by storm. I know she is supposed to be at Edenbrook for three years, but if she wants to stay and I have to do it, I will fight every person on the board to retain her here, losing her as an attending would be an irreparable loss for this hospital. But she'll always shine, wherever she decides to go after her residency.

Bree: What about her personal life?

Ethan: I don't care about what my coworkers do outside the hospital, so I don't think it's correct for me to talk about it. But of course I want her to be happy, she is a good person, so she deserves the best... I really hope that she manages to find the balance between her personal life and her professional development... *shows some sadness in his eyes* ...being a doctor is not easy.

Bree: What specifically do you find attractive about her?

Ethan: *coughs* I don't know if it's appropriate to answer that, she is my intern after all.

Bree: She did answer...

Ethan: *visibly uncomfortable* Did she? Of course she did... she is brutally honest... and she is the best secret keeper I've ever known... she is also gentle, caring and an amazing doctor... and her eyes and her smile say a lot... *realizing that he's telling more than he's actually willing to say* next question?

Bree: Last thing she texted you?

Ethan: That she was coming late to the place we had agreed to meet because she had a last minute problem on her shift.

Bree: If she asked you out on a date, how would you respond?

Ethan: I assume she answered this one, too...

*Bree smiles and nods at him*

Ethan: *blushing and visibly uncomfortable* Okay, so... I'm going to give you two answers. As a doctor, I would have to decline her invitation. Not only we are colleagues, I'm also her boss. My mission as her boss is to push her to be the best doctor she can be, she has the potential for it, I can see it. Also, she is participating on a competition to earn a spot in my team. So any type of relationship outside the work between us not only is inappropriate, it's unfair for the rest of the interns. As a man... you promise me that this conversation stays between us?

Bree: Yes

Ethan: Then... as a man... not only she is a beautiful woman, she is also smart and caring... she is incredible, and I don't understand how in the world she's been single for so long. No one would dare to say "no" to her.

Bree: Thanks a lot for your time, Dr. Ramsey...

*Bree starts to leave the room, but she suddenly turns back*

Bree: Dr. Ramsey, can I give you one piece of advise?

Ethan: I don't think I need it, but go ahead, Ms. Bree...

Bree: You should ask her out...

#long post #newlyweds game with your host bree #newlyweds game #newlyweds ask game #not yet wed questions #answered asks #ethan ramsey #casey valentine #ethan x casey

[feliciohno]

could i perhaps request itapan with the soulmate au 2 ??👀

First words your soulmate says to you are tattooed on your wrist (Send me a ship and a prompt)

“こんにちは, I am Japan.” 

It was so rare for nations to develop soulmates. Where for humans everyone had them, that wasn’t the case for the strange beings that walked the earth beside them. Soulmates worked much differently for nations in ways that most of them didn’t fully understand yet. For some of them, a new line would appear at random. Sometimes they’d be lucky enough to meet the human it corresponded with. But then, when they inevitably passed, the mark would fade away as if it were never there. No indication that they had ever had a soulmate in the first place. It was a sorrowful experience, to say the least. Most of them tended to try and avoid any soulmates they might develop over the years. 

But Italy was different. One night, he had a dream. It was a strange dream that he didn’t quite understand at such a young age. In it was a boy a little older than him. He looked just as lost as Italy felt as if he wasn’t even sure why he was in the other’s dream in the first place. Despite that, he introduced himself as Japan. After Italy woke up, he had a soulmark. 

He had shown Ms. Hungary the mark and she could only respond with a pitying look. She just patted his hair and told him to ignore it. It would be better that way. 

So he did. For years he practically forgot it was even there. It wasn’t till he spoke with France that he remembered it. 

Italy and France often held conversations, they were quite close after all. Especially after Italy had gained his independence it was nice to still have someone to go to. He knew he could still go to Austria and Hungary but it just wasn’t the same. 

“Another soulmark, another life span.” France let out a sigh as he looked at his wrist. 

Italy took a bite of the pastry laid before him as he watched the other. “Another?” he questioned as he swallowed his food. 

France leaned back in his chair and gave Italy an almost sad smile. “They happen all the time to me. What can I say, my heart just can’t stand being alone I suppose. But,” he gave another sigh. “It’s always the same. They fade after a number of years and another just relaces it soon after.” 

“Don’t you want to meet them?” 

France only gave a halfhearted chuckle. “If Big Brother was to chase after every soulmate he had I don’t think my heart could handle it every time.” He then leaned in closer to the other and gave him a wink. “Besides, between you and me I think England is finally starting to come around to me, no? I knew he couldn’t resist my charms.” 

Italy smiled at that comment. Happy to see France’s mood come back around. However, the conversation, as brief as it was, stayed in his mind the rest of the day. When he got back home he inspected his own mark. How long had it been there? Humans don’t live that long, even he knew that. 

Gently, he ran his fingers over the mark. The handwriting was beautiful. He wondered if his soulmate always wrote like that. He didn’t recognize the characters in the first half but it was clearly Asian. Did his soulmate live somewhere there? It didn’t make sense. There was no way they could still be alive. Italy frowned and pulled his sleeve back over the mark only to forget about it for another odd number of years. 

The first time he heard the name Japan it was in passing. One of his humans was talking to another on the streets of Venice when he overheard their conversation. The name felt familiar somehow. The ladies were talking about it like a location. Was it someone like him? Was that why it sounded familiar? He never paid much mind to world affairs. Why should he? Italy just spent his days cooking and painting. As it should be. Why get mixed up in the trouble of other nations. He only did what his boss told him to and then nothing more. Maybe it was a bit lonely that way but in his opinion,he was better off. He still talked to France sometimes, and Austria and Hungary visited every few years. He was fine alone. Didn’t matter to him one bit. 

He wasn’t alone much longer. He got shoved into the front lines of a war he wanted no part in. He blamed his boss. Who else could he blame? He hated fighting. He just wanted to go back home to his warm bed and stocked kitchen. Instead he found himself stuck hiding in a tomato box. Anything to get people to leave him alone. He didn’t want to be shot at! Whether the bullets could actually kill him or not had nothing on the fact that they still hurt like a bitch. 

Sadly, the safety of his hiding place was quickly compromised. It wasn’t too hard to convince the other not to kill him. It turned out to be one of his kind anyways. A man named Germany. Wasn’t that who he was fighting? He didn’t actually know. What he did know was that being a prisoner wasn’t actually that bad. No more fighting, he got to lay around and eat food (albeit, it wasn’t pasta but it didn’t out right suck), there were pretty ladies to chat up (though they could be just as scary as Mr. Germany on some occasions) and where there wasn’t much he could do creative wise it still kept him out of trouble. 

He, eventually, actually became friends with Germany. He learned some things about the other. For one, he was much younger than Italy, he liked dogs over cats, and he was a hardass when it came to training. All in all it wasn’t that bad making friends with someone. However, while hanging around the other he often heard a name being thrown around. Japan. Hearing the German talk about him only confirmed Italy’s suspicions years prior of it being one of them. Everytime he heard the name he felt this strange tug somewhere inside him. He wasn’t quiet sure why but he tried to ignore it. 

At some point Germany made a time to introduce the two. If he was friends with Germany than this Japan couldn’t be that bad. Italy really coudln’t care about the whole alliance thing, if he was honest with himself he was actually having a nice time just making friends. He had even reformed his relationship with Austria recently. It was nice to have people in his life. 

Japan was, admittedly, very cute. His short black hair framing his face and those soft dark eyes. Italy was already making plans to invite the other back to his place later. However, he couldn’t put his finger on why but something was all too familiar about the other. He was almost sure they had never met so why did he get such a feeling from him? 

It wasn’t until the other introduced himself that it clicked. 

“こんにちは, I am Japan,” he said with a bow. 

Italy stood there, dumbfounded for a moment. He could feel the strange tingling sensation at his wrist right whee he knew the words were edged into his skin. 

What was he supposed to say to that? Was he supposed to should to the high hevens that he had found his soulmate? Did he forgo words completely and just grab the other into an embrace? He supposed, his first words didn’t matter all that much. Whatever they were, they were already scrawled into the other’s skin. They had to be. That was how this worked. So, instead, Italy only smiled warmly at the other. 

“Ciao! I’m Italy.” 

Japan quickly looked up at the other. When their eyes met Italy could see the spark of realization in the other. It only caused him to smile wider. 

They waited till after Germany left to talk about any of it. And so, Italy was forced to sit and listen to their boring alliance discussions. He was sure this was all important information that his boss would want him to relay but he couldn’t fous on that! He’d just met his soulmate! Not that Italy was really looking very hard for him, in his defence of course he either thought it was a human and not worth the heartache, or he just flat out forgot about it. Not his fault. 

When Germany did finally go home Italy stayed behind, saying that he would catch his own ride home. Once the other was out of eye shot Italy scooted up close to Japan’s side. 

“You have it too, si?” 

Japan looked up at him, surprised to see the other so close. His face heated up some. “I assume you mean this,” he replied as he pulled his sleeve up just enough to show Italy his wrist. Just as he suspected, on the skin was Italy’s very words. 

Italy smiled at him. He gently ran his fingers over Japan’s mark. “We must be really special.” 

Japan looked from the mark to the other with a questioning brow. 

Italy returned his gaze. “For us to have these. It must really be special!” 

Japan smiled softly at the other. “Yes, I suppose it must be.” 

Italy moved his hands from Japan’s wrist up to his face and pulled him into a kiss. The sparks the came from their lips meeting, Italy felt them in his very core. As if the words on his wrist were somehow also written on his heart. 

#is it obvious idk shit about history #hetalia #itapan #hws italy #hws japan #feliciano vargas #honda kiku #writing #my writing #fan fic #feli's asks #frukmerunning

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #412

“there’s nothing i could ever write to help you understand this life  /  there’s so much beauty when your eyes lay lost in all the city lights”

Did you make any money today? Nope. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? Idk. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes, but it wasn't in a fast-flowing area of it. Is there something you really want to buy at the moment? I mention Venus' terrarium enough, so besides that, I'd really like to buy a plane ticket to see Sara, as well as new glasses. Would you ever consider culinary school? No. What was the last souvenir someone got you? uhhhhhhhh Do you have a favorite remix of a song? BOI I couldn't begin. Has the power gone out recently? No. Do you like driving at night? NOOOOOOO. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either a violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Yeah! I'd love to go on a photography journey there. Are you afraid of standing on the edge of hills/skyscrapers/cliffs etc? Yeah, heights scare me and I have a serious case of "what if I jumped off?". I'm not suicidal or anything, but there's an actual term for that urge that is somewhat normal. I just can't remember what it is. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar etc)? Probably the clouded leopard. But I LOVE wild cats. I think lions are the most interesting. Do you have an absolute favorite name (boy or girl)? Alessandra, 120%. It is so beautiful-sounding, plus I love that you can use "Alessa" as a nickname. My Silent Hill obsession is quite thrilled by that, ha ha. Are you good at pronouncing foreign words? I'm decent with German. When listening to music, do you usually tap your foot etc to the beat? It's weird, I actually have a habit of swaying my leg back and forth. Not even to the beat, I just do it. Have you ever literally cried on a friend's shoulder? Yes. Would you ever consider being a DJ at a party if you were paid? No. Do strapless bras work for you? Look man my boobs are too big for those lmao. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? Many times. Guess who's not around anymore. Do you feel comfortable enough to wear short shorts? HELL no. Have a favorite actor/actress from Old Hollywood? (Marilyn Munroe, etc) Not really. What's your opinion on people who stretch their ears? You do you, boo. Do you think tattoos are expressive art or unattractive? A R T ! ! ! What is your school mascot? I'm not in school. Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? No. What's the book you're currently reading? Wings of Fire: Moon Rising. Can you recall the most disturbing movie you've ever seen? Paranormal Entity. Has anyone you know gotten mono? My older sister did when she was I think in high school. Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? Yes, actually! It was one of the best apples I'd ever tasted. Can you say yes/no in different languages? In German, ja. (See what I did there lololol I'm clever.) Out of the traditional superheroes, which one is your favorite? Spider-Man. Ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? Maybe TMI, but a few years ago, I had a very strange episode of premature incontinence. It stopped, but it was very weird and embarrassing. Had any surgeries? What kind? I had tubes put in my ears as a two-year-old, and I wanna say at the end of 2016 is when I had my cyst removal surgery. Ever told your parents you hated them? My dad, yes. Very vehemently. I will always regret the letter I sent him. Do you let your pets on your furniture? Of course. This is their house, too. How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? Ew. How strong do you like your coffee? I don't like coffee, period. Would you rather see someone of the opposite sex naked or nicely dressed? Uhhhh I dunno. I guess it depends on the mood. Would you ever consider visiting Texas? I have friends there I'd love to meet, but I don't think so. Too hot. If you could make a movie, what would it be about? Some of the less-upsetting/disturbing RP stories I've taken part in writing. If you were kicked out of your current residence whom would you call? My dad. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean I do, but I don't think now is the time. I need to set shit straight about myself first. Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Broccoli. Asparagus is repulsive. Was the last person you kissed attractive? She's gorgeous. Are you racist at all? Not at all. Do you read creepypasta? If not, you should. Nah. Have you ever vandalized? Nope. Would you ever scuba dive in shark-infested waters if you had the chance? Most likely not. And by the way, they do not "infest" waters. That's their home. I hate that phrase so much. Have you ever been drunk at work? No. Have you ever hit a parked car with your car? No. Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you like? Yes. I remember Jason and I made a palette on the living room floor at least one night. It was SO uncomfortable. I don't even remember why we did it. Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, or cereal? French toast. *_* Do you prefer light or dark haired? I prefer colorful hair. Have you ever read any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books? No. I remember we had at least one, though. Would you be prepared to do a job that you didn’t like, if it paid well? No. That would affect my depression so badly. Do you think age is needed for maturity? Absolutely not. Do you believe the future is predetermined? No. What the hell would even be the point if it was? Like you'd have no free will; you'd just be a character in a story a higher power wrote. What words are most comforting to you? "I love you," "I'm here for you," "you're strong enough to get through this," stuff like that. How important is money to you? I have a stressful relationship with money. I've never in my life had a stable income because the three jobs I've had were so incredibly short-lived, so the money I DO get, I cherish the shit outta it.. I make sure I REALLY want something, and I mean it modestly, but I'm also honestly pretty selfless with money, too. I'm very willing to leave considerable tips, I don't mind buying pricey gifts for people if I think they would really, really like it, stuff like that. Going my whole life being poor, I just understand the situation so well and want to help people where I can. Is there anything you want to last forever? Love. By that I mean I hope even beyond death, the relationships we built in life stretch into what afterlife there may be. List three of your passions: Animals and their conservation, LGBTQ+ rights, and the pro-choice movement. How old do you want to live to? As old as I can before the point of being totally dependent on others to do things like clean me and stuff. I do NOT want to be get to the point of essentially being a rotting corpse. What kind of love do you value the most? Romantic, honestly. There's just something so special about it. If you could control one element, what would it be? Water I suppose, because it would be the most helpful. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Man, that's hard, but I guess foxes. Could you ever deliver a baby? I don't think I could. I handle stomach pain VERY poorly, and I know I would screech loud enough to crack the damn sky before it would be time to perform the epidural. Do you think suits are sexy? Yeah. Ever been called babe? Yeah. How old is your youngest sibling? She's 23. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Sara. Favorite boy’s name? Probably Severin. Are your parents together, separated, divorced, never married, what? Divorced. Do you go online every day? Yep. What is the best quality in the last guy you kissed? The last guy I kissed, maybe his loyalty. He has ALWAYS been there for me. He's also funny as hell. What do you usually do during a kiss? Depends on how passionate it is? Do you have an older brother? I do. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Sell those bad boys. What’s the genre of the current song you’re listening to? Pop. Can you believe it?? Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? ABSOLUTELY not. I could write an actual essay on why meerkats should NOT be kept as pets. Would you ever sell your soul? Noooo thanks.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''city lights'' by motionless in white

[purplesurveys]

1130

survey by nadine07

Where were you three hours ago? Was passed out on the living room couch and probably dreaming away, lmao.

Were you with anyone? Both my dogs were in the living room with me, if that counts.

Have you had anything alcoholic in the last 24 hours? Hmm, I’m trying to remember but I don’t think so. I went outside to eat, but I doubt they put any alcohol in my meal since I literally had a truffle-based pasta. No plans to drink this weekend, either.

Are you wearing shoes right now? Nope, I’m always barefoot around the house.

How long have you known your 1st phone contact? At least since the 6th grade cos I think that’s when she had transferred to my school.

Are they a relative? Nope, I went to school with her. We were seatmates for a while in sophomore year and that’s when I was able to see how talented she was at drawing and painting. She ended up transferring to UP as well after getting accepted to the fine arts program so we got to be collegemates as well, though I don’t really remember what university she initially got admitted to.

Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Yeah, because I’m a dumb fuck when it comes to these things. I WILL SAY though that I’ll be so much kinder to myself should this ever happen, and no longer tolerate her bullshit and emotional/mental abuse under the guise of ~unconditional love. There’ll be a lot of shit she’ll have to pick up and fix, and I wouldn’t get back with her unless she acknowledges her mistakes and seek to correct them.

Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? That would be Leigh, and no. Idk if I’ve shared this or if this has ever come up on a survey but Andi actually once asked me if I’d like to be a part of a threesome with them and Leigh, and I just had to immediately decline because I view Leigh as a younger sister more than anything and I can’t bear to see her all naked loooool.

When was the last time you saw a movie in theaters? December 2019.

When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I think the morning of New Year’s Eve. I was already starting my healing process by then and the holidays were getting me feeling kind of peaceful, so I sent her a few voice notes thanking her for the year that was but giving her a heads-up that I might not talk to her for a while, because I realized I was starting to get happier on the days I didn’t force conversation with her.

I honestly thought ‘a while’ would only take a couple of weeks, but I’ve since gotten used without her presence and it’s been 3 1/2 months since our final encounter; and I think it will stay this way now.

Has anyone called you beautiful today? No.

Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? That would be JM, and yeah. I find him ridiculous for lying to our faces about joining a fraternity in law school (frats are a big yuck where I live because of their toxic hazing and misogynist culture), but I mean I still sort of understand why he had to do it - obviously not for the above reason, but for the perks and support that usually come with joining frats. From now on I’ll always see him as someone who can smoothly lie to my face, though.

Does drama seem to follow you everywhere? No. I would hate that lol, that would just be too much to handle.

Do you feel like anyone is playing mind games with you right now? No.

How would you feel if your best friend hooked up with your ex? I think my literal first reaction would be to laugh out of sheer disbelief, and then proceed to call her stupid for cheating and for choosing to cheat with her. After that’s died down, I think I’d mostly feel disappointed and betrayed.

How long did your last relationship last? The stint lasted 4 years, but we were technically together for 6 years if we’re counting the whole on/off thing.

If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? No. That’s what I had thought and they left. I’ve stopped trusting my feelings about these things anymore, and will assume anyone is capable of leaving.

Does it make you uncomfortable to talk on the phone around people? I just don’t want to be loud enough that I’m almost screaming around other people, but I can’t always monitor that since I have to concentrate on what I’m hearing on the other line.

Would you rather be 10 years older or 10 years younger? Probably 10 years older so that I can see into my future.

Have you ever kissed someone the same night your met them? No.

Do you bite your fingernails? Occasionally. I pick at them more frequently.

Would you consider yourself very flexible? Nah. Like I said on a previous survey, I can’t even reach my toes either while standing up or stretching on the floor.

Do you embarrass easily? Yeah.

Have you ever tried to talk your way out of getting a ticket? Yup. It’s happened twice; one of the occasions I was able to handle by myself and the other time Gab had to step in to talk to the officer because he was adamant about the ticket and I had started crying.

Did it work? Yes, both times. I’ve only been issued a ticket once, from this annoying grumpy officer in Alabang.

Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Trying to remember if I have been, but I don’t think so.

Do you have a ringtone or do you leave your phone on vibrate? The important messaging apps are on vibrate. I’ve turned off notifications for some apps and I have just the silent banner notifications for others.

What was the last thing you drank from a mug? I’m drinking coffee from one right now.

Has your #1 ever seen you naked?

Does your #2 know your deepest secret?

Will your #3 repost this?

Does your #4 smoke?

Were you born in the 90's? Yes, but by the end of it so I never considered myself a 90s kid.

When was the last time you paid less than $1 for something? The parking fee in Feliz.

Have you loaned anything out to anyone recently? Nope.

Are any of your siblings married? None of us are.

Who was the last person to spend the night with you at your house? Gabie.

How many different picture ids do you have in your wallet? Just my driver’s license and TIN ID.

Do you have a hard time making decisions? Depends on the weight of the decision. The heavier it is, the more I seek out friends who can provide fresh perspectives.

Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Idk, Gabie probably snuck in some surprise ones a few times. IBetween the two of us I was more likely to do so, though.

Did you like it? If she did then I probably did during that time.

Who was your date to senior prom? We have junior prom, not senior prom. I just bought my favorite cousin since I had no interest in boys and was still learning how to make guy friends at that point.

Does your dad smoke? No, he’s never tried.

Is your mom over 50? She is turning 50 this year, but not until September.

Do you want to get married? It would be nice to experience it.

Have kids? Yes.

Are there any movies coming out you wanna see? Not that I know of. There are movies I do want to see, but they’ve already come out, like Ammonite and I Care A Lot.

Do you ever feel like you're leading a double life? No.

Do you have any plans to get a new tattoo or piercing? Tattoo, yeah. I’m just super chill about said plan and am not really in a hurry about it. I’ve yet to think of a design and where on my body to place it.

Do you know anyone named Christine? I know several people named Christine but they go by a nickname, like Tin.

Do you know anyone who's biracial? Sure, I went to high school with a couple of girls who are both half-brown and half-white as they both have European dads. I believe one of them is part German while the other girl is part Swiss.

Do you know anyone who works at Walmart? I don’t think so. I know my aunts who live in the US will occasionally shop there though, hahaha.

Has the last person you rode in a car with seen you in your underwear? I mean yeah, as a baby and as a young kid (it was my mom).

Are black bras sexy? They can be, sure.

Spell your full name without 'C','I','R', or 'Y': Obn.

Open the nearest book, turn to page 11, and type the first sentence: I’m at a Starbucks rn and didn’t bring any books with me.

Are you currently listening to anything? There’s jazz music faintly playing at the moment.

Would you ever consider getting breast implants? Before I definitely used to, when people still liked to make fun of small boobs. Nowadays I don’t feel the need to anymore.

If you could spend 30 minutes with someone who's gone, who would you pick? I’d probably pick my great-grandpa over my grandpa. I never met the former; and if I only had 30 minutes with my grandpa (who I did grow up with) I think it would just fuck with me psychologically.

Are you on birth control? Nopes.

Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Lots.

Would you walk into Walmart naked for $10,000? Yes.

Does anyone call you babe? No.

Do you hate it when people try to play with your hair? If I’m not close enough to them I would feel bothered, yes.

Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? I think I had just told Sofie then.

Were you in a relationship 6 months ago? Yeah but it was cracking and it was cracking fast. It’ll be hitting 6 months this March, actually.

Are you still with that person? No.

Are you the kind of person who has crazy mood swings? No. This happens to my mom and I hate it very much, so I try to watch my actions and not switch rapidly between different moods.

This is question 69...so have you ;)? Sure.

How long is it until your birthday? Around a month and a couple of weeks.

#survey #surveys

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 2.4 (El Oro De Montezuma)

Verdict- Arroz Con Leche: 1, Lizzie Mcguire: 0 

- Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda have their eyes glued to the television because Miranda’s cousin from Mexico, Carlos is supposed to appear on a Mexican game show with his friends next week. Jo sees this and encourages the kids to go out and do something more active/productive but shortly after, she becomes enthralled by the quirkiness of the show. 

I can’t tell if they like what they’re watching or not lol

Lost in Translation

- There’s a new kid in school and his name is Li Torak, from Indonesia. Because of my Malaysian heritage, I know a thing or two about Indonesia and Li doesn’t look Indonesian to me. He looks really young too, almost around the age of Matt when in actuality, Raja is only a year younger than Hilary and Lalaine. It’s probably because he’s a boy and maybe it’s his Asian genes hehe. Lizzie tries to break the ice with Li but there’s a language barrier and he misunderstands majority of the things Lizzie is asking him.

* I just did my research and Holy Cow! The actor who played Li is Raja Fenske, who also played Jake Behari on Nickelodeon’s Unfabulous! I totally didn’t expect that. I haven’t watched Unfabulous in ages and I kinda forgot how he looked like. That’s so cool. Oh and if my research findings are accurate, he doesn’t have any Indonesian ancestry as I’ve predicted. In fact, his mom is Indian and his dad is German and Norwegian. 

- Mr. Dig is teaching a class that puts a spotlight on other cultures and introduces to his students a “Lip Stretcher” that the Suya Indian men from the Amazon River used to pull their lower lips out as a way to attract mates I think? That’s interesting. He goes on to explain the various other cultures’/countries’ standards of beauty, which are very foreign to them. 

If Gordo weren’t a director, he should’ve been a comedian because he went in on Larry here. 

- Mr. Dig then uses this as an opportunity to formally introduce Li to everyone in class. And once again, he struggles to comprehend what’s being asked of him. Okay, I need to be honest here and say this; The way Raja is trying to sound like an Indonesian is just not working for me. He couldn’t even pronounce “Indonesia” correctly like a true native he’s meant to portray. The accent is way off; It’s actually very cringe-worthy.

- Anyways; back to the plot. Mr. Dig asks his students to write a report on either their own culture or another culture and include what people can learn from it. 

The First Mention of Mexico City (fans of Lizzie Mcguire know what that means)

- Back at home, Lizzie asks her parents about where she came from and her parents funnily misunderstands her question and thought it was a Biology question lol. Obviously, what she meant to ask was where did their ancestors originate from in Europe most probably. We find out that Sam’s family is Scottish and Irish and Jo’s family originated from a bunch of other European countries. This makes it harder for Lizzie since there’s so many countries to choose from. 

- At the Digital Bean, Miranda re-introduces her cousin, Carlos to Lizzie and Gordo. He greets Lizzie with a couple of kisses on both cheeks:

- He also tries to give Gordo the same but he’s not down for the friendly kisses lol. I wonder if Gordo felt some type of way to see another guy “kiss” Lizzie even if it’s a friendly one. Especially coming from last episode when he saw Lizzie and Ronnie kiss for real. 

- Miranda tells them that’s what people do in Mexico City and I gotta say, the words “Mexico City” triggered me because that was the excuse we got in like the last 10 episodes (plus the movie) of Lizzie Mcguire to explain Miranda’s absence from the show lol. 

- Miranda then reveals to her friends that Carlos’s teammates cancelled on him to go to their sister’s wedding, which is a good excuse but Carlos doesn’t seem to think so lol. Eventually, Lizzie and Gordo agree to be their replacements due to the financial benefit they would get if they win. It always comes down to the Benjamins I see. Plus, Lizzie sees this as an opportunity to help her with Mr. Dig’s assignment. They feel like if Carlos and to a lesser extent, Miranda could translate for them, they would be able to do the stunts on the show just fine. 

- We then get a montage of them doing a practice run through some of the games featured on the show. Gordo also insists that they learn some Spanish as well. As I’ve been learning Spanish on Duolingo for almost a year now, I’m proud to say I was able to translate most of the phrases Gordo read out loud.  

 I LOL’ed at this moment. Why he gotta look at them like that? 

- Lizzie thinks that they should focus on perfecting the games rather than trying to learn Spanish to which they all agree. But really? They don’t know what “bueno” means? Don’t they live in California? They should’ve know that word at the very least... C’mon now. 

Let The Games Begin

- It’s now time for the game show and the host introduces Carlos, Miranda, Lizzie and Gordo on stage. Wait, where is this game show held? Is it where they live in the US or did they all fly to Mexico?

- The first round is trivia and Miranda manages to win the first point. The next round is popping as many balloons as possible between their chests but we don’t know who won that. And after that, it’s them trying to seek out different items of clothing to dress their teammate in a bull-fighter’s costume. 

The last clue is getting a hat from the bottom box but unfortunately Lizzie wasn’t careful enough, which led to a whole stack of boxes to crash on top of her lol. But they still manage to win that round fortunately and their team is able to advance to the last round.

- In this round, Lizzie gets picked to designate roles to each of her team members. Unfortunately, she accidentally assigns Carlos to be the Aztec bird snake gut, which means that he has to sit out that round. The host gives them the instructions in Spanish and with Carlos having to be inside a soundproof box, they have no idea what they’re supposed to do.

- I was able to understand a couple of phrases like “tienen arroz con leche” and “cuaranta y cinco segundos”, which I’m confident it means “they have rice with milk (rice pudding I guess)” and “they have 45 seconds to do something” respectively. I didn’t catch the building a pyramid part just because I don’t know what pyramid is in Spanish lol. I did a quick Google search and it’s just pirámide but I don’t think I heard the host saying that word.

- They obviously misunderstood the instructions and did something completely wrong, which is putting the rice pudding into the boxes and jumping over them at the same time. Gordo, who is usually the brains of the operation thinks that they should eat the rice pudding and he proceeds to happily eat it lol. 

- They try to think of one last solution and Lizzie decides to throw the rice pudding into the boxes with her bare hands but she accidentally splashes some of it onto Miranda’s face. Next to you know, they’re throwing rice pudding left and right at each other and the whole audience goes wild. Well, that’s one way to end the show but I’m pretty sure they lost.

Presentation Time

- It’s time for them to present their report on a culture of their choice in Mr. Dig’s class. Gordo does his on Mehndi tattoos from India; I actually thought he would talk about some aspects from his own Jewish culture. As for Lizzie, she tells the class that after her whole experience of being lost in translation in that Mexican game show she and her friends participated in, she felt like she needed to learn about other cultures so that she can understand those around her who are not like her. 

Oh gosh; His accent again. It’s so not Indonesian. 

- Anyways, Lizzie decides to focus her presentation on Indonesian culture. This should be good....

- Umm, Jakarta is not an island Lizzie....It’s the capital city of Indonesia and the island it sits on is called Java. *facepalms. The presentation was obviously cut short due to time constraints of the episode but they could have done more to fit in more insightful stuff into her presentation. I’m really disappointed. 

Matt’s B-Plot: It’s More Like A C-Plot....

- Matt and Lanny have pretty much been playing hide and go seek throughout the whole episode. And that’s about it really. It’s nothing extraordinary except for the fact that they kinda went overboard with it and continued the game outside Matt’s home. 

Is this safe for a child lol?

- However, what I like about this sub-plot is seeing how sassy Lanny is. The episode ends with Matt winning the hide and seek contest but to his own detriment because he decided to hide in a train, which started moving while Lanny eats pizza with Matt’s parents. Wow, his parents are going to get the ultimate headache from trying to find out where in the world Matt is. 

Overall Thoughts

- Let’s get the negatives out of the way first; Raja Fenske’s portrayal of Li as a student from Indonesia was pretty weak I have to say. And it wasn’t really his fault. I’m sure somebody had given him directions on how to sound like an Indonesian and he had to follow it. Like I mentioned earlier, I don’t think Raja is any part Indonesian and so, he probably couldn’t tell what should have sounded authentic. I felt like Disney should’ve cast someone Indonesian or part Indonesian to avoid all of this. Also, I must repeat the point I made about them saying that Jakarta is an island, which is totally wrong. The writers should have done their research.

- But I appreciate them for making the attempt to shine a spotlight on how ignorant we can be when it comes to understanding and respecting other people’s cultural differences. At the beginning of the episode, Lizzie was obviously taken aback and amused by Li’s inability to understand what she was trying to ask him because she has never been in his position before. 

- It was not until she participated in “El Oro de Montezuma”, she’d realized that being immersed in a new environment with a completely different culture from what she’s used to is extremely hard. And because of that, she was able to empathize with Li and show Li that she wants to respect and get to know his Indonesian culture, which is why she decided to make her presentation on Indonesia instead.

- Long story short; The lessons taken from the episode were great but the execution of Li’s character was meh. 

#lizzie mcguire #hilary duff #disney #disney channel #el oro de montezuma #mexican game show #lalaine #adam lamberg #disney plus #hulu #unfabulous #lizzie mcguire season 2 #jake behari #raja fenske #early 2000s #00s #teen comedy #disney fan #nostalgia #old school #throwback #episode review #episode recap #indonesia #spanish language #cultural differences #indonesian culture

[bom-bombon]

Texas?

Yeehaw

Name: Sebastian Inglesias

While Texas does have a second last name because he’s Hispanic, he decided to drop it. I know many Hispanic who have either both of their parents’ names and of only their fathers’ last name with the former being more common. Those with one last name has less complications with paperwork, applications, etc., than with those with two last names. Considering all this, I think that Texas would drop the second last name to make his life more easier.

Age: 27-29

Gender: Cis male

Ethnicity/Race: Hispanic (Mestizo)

Siblings: Coahuila (perhaps Chihuahua and Nuevo Leon too but it’s still a wip)

Height: 5′11 (180.34 cm)

He’s sad that he’s not 6′0. He may be taller than some of his fellow Mexican brethren, but he gets reminded that he’s not the tallest in the Union, or at the very least, he’s not 6′0. This annoys him to no end.

Relations:

-Arizona: They’re buddies. They both share a love for guns, have similar conservative ideologies, and they love a/c. No matter how much New Mexico tries to discourage Arizona from talking to him, Arizona just doesn’t care. He thinks that Texas is cool (which fuels his already big ego)

-Arkansas: They get along. That’s it. I suppose that sometimes he does call her Ar-kansas and she don’t talk to him for a whole day after that, but they’re cool nonetheless.

-California: They don’t like each other. He finds her annoying and thinks she’s an idiot. When she was first introduced to the states, he thought that they could be together and be some sort of duo. But they thought different things and it upset him. To him, it almost felt like betrayal because he thought he knew her and she supported and admired him. So why doesn’t she support him now? Today, they just bicker and often start arguments. Both of their egos will never let it go and make up.

-Coahuila: It’s complicated. Coahuila was enraged when Texas broke away from her and even more so when the US helped. While I’m not sure their relationship was during this time period, I do know that they didn’t talked for a while. Texas believed he was doing the right thing in following his own dreams. Though that is debatable at best. Nowadays, they get along well and Coahuila sometimes invite him to parties. Sometimes…

-Louisiana: They chill with each other. Louisiana, although criticizes him on some occasions, think he’s a nice guy. He has helped her in the past and she no doubts never forgot about it, so she helps him whenever she can. They’re also dumbasses together so that’s fun too.

-Minnesota: They’re together! Minnie is like 6’2 so she calls Texas cute for being tiny and he loves and hates it!! They are both tough as nails. For example, Minnie surprised him by beating him on a mechanical bull, Virginia complained about how strong Minnesota was during the Civil War, and Montana always remarks about how Minnie was the only other state who can keep up with her in the World Wars. And Texas is Texas. They are both incredibly sweet in relationships. Minnesota is known for being nice and it’s tru. Texas in relationships is sort of like the Latin Lover, excluding the constant need for uhh bedroom stuff. They are both gentle to each other out of respect and always get each other meaningful gifts. Not to mention the daily reminders of “you’re beautiful” or “you’re my sunshine”, they’re too pURE. They both like similar hobbies such as watching and playing football, taking care of animals, and roasting the hell out of people. Texas helps Minnie into confronting problems and people

Minnie: Idk how to tell them

Texas: It’s easy, I’ll show you how

Texas: Hey New York!

New York: I’m not listening…

Texas: New York!

New York: *looks up*

Texas: I like your shirt but I don’t like you!

She teaches him about considering other’s feelings. Sometimes Texas is too caught up about himself to realize how he’s affecting others around him and she knows this. She reminds him that people that not everyone will understand him emotionally and might take offense. Slowly, Texas thinks more often. Minnesota and Texas also love having adventures together. They would go and snowboard (though Texas has fell off a mountain one time). No matter what they’re doing, they always seem to compliment each other and have fun together. 

-Montana: They’re cowboy buddies. I would imagine them talk to each other about animals, particularly horses and cows. Since Montana is also a tough person, she and Texas loves to have small competitions with lifting or who has the most power. He sees her as a buddy and likes to talk to her, which is good because Montana herself has trouble fitting in when all people know about her is just cows and nothingness.

-New Mexico: New Mexico hates him. From what I can remember, Texas tried to claim parts of New Mexico three separate times. The last attempt was the Civil War, and with the attempt to take Santa Fe, New Mexico won’t let it go. Texas doesn’t really care about him nor seem to remember that he even exist. He mostly focuses his rivalry with Oklahoma. Plus, he think New Mexico is a bad driver.

-Oklahoma: They’re rivals. The extent of this rivalry, I’m not too sure and admittedly haven’t delved into much. What I can say is that he always honk his horn at her because she’s a terrible driver. At some point she called him Baja Oklahoma and he cried

-Tennessee: They’re friends. Tennessee is gay for him. So when the Texas Revolution was starting and the US helped out, a good chunk of the people were from Tennessee. So Tennessee helped Texas out wherever he can and that was his first friend from the US. They love to go hunting and talk about guns and stuff. Tennessee really admired him and is glad that he’s consider to be close friends with the big boi of the South. They also play music together and have nice country vibes.

-Wyoming: They’re Yeehaw buddies. They also had a relationship is perhaps early 1900s but I’m not too sure yet.

Things I don’t know how to title but it exists:

-Texas has tattoos of all his state symbols on his arms and back

-They played a “special” game of Truth or Dare. In the end, Texas threw up and vowed to never go to Vegas or hang out with Nevada for 9 months.

-Texas gave some of his friends in the Midwest and South (who aren’t Hispanic mind you) the “spicy” Mexican candies and almost all of them are more cautious about Mexican candies. Plot twist: they’re not spicy at all; they’re just weak

-Yee in the streets, haw in the sheets

-He’s bisexual

Some things about her (development? idk):

Texas has this arrogance that kinda makes it unbearable to work with at times (his closest friends can attest to this). But to be fair, this arrogance would be provoked by someone either messing with his lovely state or someone who’s just curious. Besides that, he is actually pretty charismatic, confident, and charming that attracts people despite his (non intentional) brash behavior. (It’s a joke that he purposefully made Tennessee gay). He’s also intelligent as he’s musically talented, exceeds surprisingly well in mathematics and sciences, and fluent in a couple languages such as English, German, and Vietnamese. He worked hard to be where he is and he can be closed minded in some parts but that’s because he likes to stay relatively the same. He doesn’t like a lot of change; you can say he’s afraid of it and what it might bring because he doesn’t want to lose who he truly is deep down inside. (It’s kinda funny because with this new influx of Californians, he’s stressed and upset at her more than ever).

Some quotes,, things?: 

New York: I’m hot shit and that’s the only thing I’ll take away.

Texas: Didn’t you hear her? I’m also hot shit. And that’s the power of the Texan charm ;) Checkmate, liberals.

New York: Yeah well why don’t you shut up.

Texas: You shut up

–

Northern Mariana Islands: *gives everyone a glass shot of tequila*

Everyone: *downs the shot and put their shot glass on the middle of the table*

Delaware: More please!

Ohio: No more please…

Arkansas: What the fuck was that??

Utah: Ugh, that so strong what the heck-

Texas: Can we do this every night?

–

Priest: You may now read the vows you have prepared.

Texas: I think I misunderstood the assignment.

Minnesota: Just read what you wrote, dear.

Texas: Ok *deep breath* A E I O U

–

Texas, drunk: SI YA SABEN COMO ME PONGO PA QUE ME INVITAN???

–

South Dakota: But it’s couples like you that give hope to the rest of us. Minnesota, you deserve the best, and you found it.

Texas, don’t you dare hurt her.

Everyone: *laughs*

Texas: I won’t.

Michigan: Don’t laugh. She means it.

Texas: Okay, I-I won’t

.Nebraska: Seriously, don’t hurt her.

Texas: Okay, I’m not planning on hurting her.

Indiana: You better not be

Texas: I’m not!

Ohio: Hey, Texas, you best be watching yourself

Texas: Why would any of you think I would hurt Minnesota? Y’all my friends too.

Illinois: Nah

–

1945

Tejas, a los otros estados: Me das una úlcera cada vez que me despierto y tengo que venir ‘pa trabajar para ti, para ti!

–

Texas, grabbing a toy police car: Coahuila! Can you buy me this?

Coahuila: No.

Texas: You never buy me anything!

Coahuila: You’re over 300 years old!

–

Texas: Yee in the streets, haw in the sh-

Oklahoma: No.

–

Texas, drunk: You’re so pretty,, are you seeing anyone?

Minnesota: Yeah, I’m married

Texas, crying: To.. to who?

Minnesota: You, you smol idiot *kisses his forehead*

#aph texas #hws texas #my trash son #he's fun #im so tired hhh #bombon's ocs

[fairyjeff]

Four Dogs, a Child, and a Man || Nell & Jeff

TIMING: A While Ago PARTIES: @nelllraiser and @fairyjeff SUMMARY: Jeff meets Scooby, Scrappy, and Shaggy, the “German breed” dogs. Totally not hellhounds.

Nell wasn’t entirely certain when she’d become Official Dog Sitter to Lettie, but she definitely wasn’t mad about it. The big girl was adorable, and she actually proved to be quite a fun companion for the hellhounds Nell had a summoning tattoo for on her arm. She’d gotten when she was around seventeen and a half, not willing to wait until eighteen to do it legally when she could have it now. Either way, her fake ID had worked well enough, and by the time she’d gotten the tattoo, she’d summoned them enough for them to recognize her, and know that she often gave them tasty treats or things to hunt and munch. And now- she gave them a new playmate in the form of a big Mastiff! As the three hounds and Lettie pounced about the apartment, chasing and playing with one another, Nell sat on the couch watching the show, glad that Jeff wasn’t meant to home for a while. The hounds and Lettie could get in some serious quality time. As soon as the thought had crossed her mind, the door knob turned, and it seemed that apparently Jeff was home early. Nell didn’t even have a moment to get rid of the hounds before the most energetic of the bunch was bounding towards Jeff at full force, thinking this is be another new, oversized playmate. “No!” was all Nell could think to say as the mongrel did his best to tackle Jeff in his excitement.

Jeff was supposed to be out late so he could feed. Properly feed. But the bar scuffle he had gotten into on his way out had been more than enough to quench whatever remaining hunger there was. It put him in a bad mood, though. He hated needing to feed like that, and he still didn’t understand why he couldn’t just eat a steak and be done with it. It was because he wasn’t human. The sinking thought that hung over him, every time a woman or even a man at the supermarket shot him a smile, how he seemed to connect to people easily… His pheromones were out of control. He couldn’t bother Deirdre about it, especially when she was on a 3-day alcohol/dead body binge. Really, he just wanted to go home, shove half his tips for the night at Nell - who had become his official dog sitter somehow. Lettie was all too pleased, the poor thing had separation anxiety. He used to bring her to work back in Boston, where that sort of thing had been allowed - if only because he charmed the pants off his manager - but he had a feeling middle of buttfuck nowhere would like a dog in the bar. Jeff trudged up the steps, sticking his key in the door and walked into his apartment. “Change of plans,” he called. “Sorry, Nell. I’ll pay you for the full - what the fuck-”

At full force, Jeff was knocked to the ground, he was tackled by a giant fucking… dog? And not his giant fucking dog. Jeff blinked, shielding his face. “Hey - hey get off! We don’t jump! Jumping bad! Holy shit, Nell, what fucking breed is this thing?

“Shit, shit, shit,” Nell cursed, trying to get to the hound that had seemed all too eager to say hello to Jeff. For a moment, she’d been worried he might be a little too eager and take a little, friendly chunk out of the man, but it seemed the pup was just trying his best to lick Jeff’s face off. Her shoulders grew slacker in their relief, though she realized a moment later that Jeff might not be the happiest about having three unknown dogs in his apartment with Lettie. “Sorry!” she burst out, trying her best to contain the dog that was trying to devour Jeff in the friendliest of ways. “Scooby! Stop it! Jeff’s right, this isn’t polite,” Nell said firmly, trying to coax the dog down. Finally, he seemed to remember some semblance of manners. But him calming only meant that she now had to think of a breed for these overgrown fire beasts. “Uhh- it’s like- a German name. You know- really hard and long to pronounce. I barely ever remember it. Actually- they’re also a mix so- there’s that too. But mostly the German breed.”

Jeff sat up slightly, leaning upon his elbows as he eyed the dog that had been doing its damnedest to make friends with him. He reached up, patting the dog on the side as he slid up to sitting position, warily looking at Nell. “German breed?” he said, curiously. “Oh, I think I know the one.” There definitely was some long german dog breed that he didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure they looked like that, but Nell probably had no reason to lie to him. Lettie bounded past Nell and went right up to him, slobbering all over his face. He grimaced, patting her on the head. “Did you make friends?” He asked her, snorting as he pushed himself up to standing. Lettie hopped excitedly and he grinned. “Sit.” She sat. “Good girl.” He looked at Nell, rubbing the back of his neck. “What’s his name? Whose dogs are these? They seem - well, they big.” Jeff liked dogs, and he should probably be more annoyed than he was that Nell had 3 unknown ones in his apartment, but he wanted to have faith that Nell wouldn’t let anything happen to his dog. “What’s his name? Their names? I heard Scooby.”

Oh, thank god Jeff had gone with it. Nell knew he wasn’t exactly...next in line for the Noble prize when it came to knowing things, and she was hoping that would work out for her when it came to lying about dog breeds. Still, she was surprised he’d taken the lie that easily, especially when the hellhounds looked the way they did. But she certainly wasn’t going to argue it. “Mhm, yeah, exactly! The German breed.” As Lettie greeted her owner, Nell looked on fondly, adoring the reunion between hound and human. “I think she missed you,” she joked, knowing full well that this was exactly the truth. After all, she was specifically here because of Lettie’s separation anxiety. “She’d the best girl,” she said with a bit of a coo, absolutely adoring the overgrown mastiff. “Uh- sorry again, though.” She obviously hadn’t meant for Jeff to get tackled by a hellhound, but she still felt bad. “They’re mine, though!” Sort of. They weren’t really pets, but months of continued summoning and slowly earning their trust and obedience had caused her to take a bit of ownership over them. At least- while they were on this particular plane. “The one who was forgetting his manners and trying to lick you was Scooby. This is Scrappy,” she continued, pointing to the smallest of the three, though he was still enormous. “And that’s Shaggy!”

“Yeah, she has separation anxiety sometimes. It got worse when we moved, I think she’s fucking stressed,” Jeff said. He patted Lettie on the head. He looked cheerfully at the odd looking dogs, thankful that after having such a shitty night that he was able to to see even more dogs. They were a little odd looking, and if he remembered, he was going to look up that german breed. But maybe they were mixed… and had some, like, bad breeding or something. They seemed perfectly fine for him though. “Good names,” He said. They fit them well, though if Nell wasn’t a child, he would argue that Scooby, Dooby, and Doo would also be funny. He straightened slightly, and patted his pockets for his wallet. “I’m sorry I came home early,” he said, a little sheepishly. Lettie sat by her owner’s side and leaned into his legs a little. She didn’t seem sorry at all. He took out the cash. “For the full night, alright? And then we can do the same time next week.”

#para #para nell #nell

[drarrygirl27]

Thanks for the tag, @unsealingkale !

I nominate @darling-lo

1. what does your name mean / mean to you?

Oh wow! I learned something new about my name. It is a Hindi boy name meaning, Center. I'm used to reading it meaning things like knowledge, wise, understanding, and water baby. This is very interesting!

I used to hate my first name years ago, but honestly I really used to hate myself for many reasons for many years. I now love my first name as much as I love my middle name. My last name is pretty cool. I used to want to change it to my biological last name, but now it ties me to both my grandma (She got remarried when my dad and his brother were in their teen years. The man she remarried, she had 3 of my uncles with, 2 are still alive.) and my dad so I'm going to keep it for a little while longer. My dad has another brother who I keep in contact with with my biological last name. They found each other through Facebook years and years ago.

2. breakfast, lunch or dinner?

Breakfast because breakfast is the bomb! That is my favorite kind of food, day or night. I do eat lunch and dinner too, but breakfast food will always have my heart.

3. what are you proud of?

I am proud of how far I actually have come in my life. There were times where I literally wanted to just let things be even when it was bad for me to do so, but I still eventually found the courage to leave when I knew that in my heart of hearts that I needed to for the good of my overall well being. I have had to do that a good bit of times in my life and despite how some of it hurt me really bad to do so emotionally and sometimes mentally even, I knew that I just had to do it because if I would have stayed in some if not most of those situations, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I don't have the best job in the world right now and things have been really hard especially with this crazy ass situation going on, but I am so much happier in so many ways than I was 3 years ago and years before that even. I have grown a lot in many ways. I have the Army to thank for that at least partly. That place pushed me to my limits in so many ways that I had no choice, but to see that I really, really needed to change in some ways if I was ever going to get anywhere in life in the Civilian world. It was what I like to call a necessary hell.

4. your go to song on a bad day?

Not sure if this counts, but when I get scared or anxious about something, I listen to "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins. It feels like he is singing it to me in a way. It sounds crazy I know, but I have loved this song for many years and overtime it just became a really good comforting song for me.

5. have / want tattoos

I don't have tattoos and I don't think I will ever get a tattoo. I don't like needles. I'm not as bad as my mom with them, but I still don't like the way they feel and I wouldn't know what to get anyway.

6. what are you looking forward to post ‘rona?

To go to places without having to wear a mask like the movies and the mall for instance. They drive me nuts! I wear them for work and when I go into stores. At home, I stay mask free because no one has the 'rona in the house because we all wear masks when we go out some where like work places and the like.

7. fave place you’ve travelled to / where you would like to travel to?

Lost Maples Natural State Area in Texas, hands down! It is a gorgeous place with mountains with hiking trails and beautiful unbelievably crystal clear water.

North Carolina. I need to pay respects to my grandma and if it is allowed I am thinking about spreading my dad's ashes on her grave as well. I was in the Army when she died. I was offered to go back home because of it, but I knew my grandma would have wanted me to keep going and so I did.

8. name a personal object in your room that you love

My grandma's and Daddi-o's memorial service discs even though the Bitch Cunt of the Century a.k.a. Former stepmom was in charge of the pictures on my Daddii-o's discs. You can tell because she is in most of the pics. *Sighs* Lord, I wish I would have had enough balls to tell that 'thing' to fuck all the way off! *Sighs* Hindsight is 2020 and unfortunately, all that shit went down in 2017.

9. what’s your niche interest?

Hmm... I have a good bit of them to be honest. I will just name my main fandoms at the moment. Rhink, Supernatural, and Harry Potter especially when it comes to shipping. LOL!

10. ideal date with yourself?

Hmm... An ideal date with myself, eh? This is going to sound so weird or maybe not, but either a trip to a bookstore or a thrift and or antique store. I love to check out those kinds of places.

11. share a pic from your camera roll that brings you joy

12. is there anything you would say to your younger self?

It may not seem like it now, but eventually things are going to get better for you and you are going to accept and love yourself for everything that you are. You're not going to hate yourself forever and there are going to be people who like and or love you as a person. Your family has always loved and respected you even if it didn't seem like it sometimes. One day, you are going to be able to look into the mirror and through very, very deep self reflection come to understand why your friends and family and the like have always loved, respected, admired, and believed in you. I love you and one day, you are going to love you too.

13. do you bop to music on (I corrected this. It originally said in.) your own? do you sing?

Yep especially while driving in my car to and from work and at work too.

Oh Hell Yeah! I sing way more than I used to especially not just by myself behind closed doors. I don't sing out loud at work though because people could be sleeping and also I'm still a wee bit hesitant to sing in front of people like face to face depending upon where I am at, who I am with, and such. I'm working on it, but I do show my talent to people a lot more than what I used to.

14. is there a type of animal you associate with home? does your house get animal visitors?

Hmm... I was around cats a lot more than dogs throughout most of my lifetime especially my childhood and teenage years.

If we're being sappy though I'd say cats and dogs now. My boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law have a cat that I love a lot. He is what I like to call a sweet asshole. LOL! He can be nice and or loving, but not towards most people. He is kind of like my boyfriend in that way. They're both assholes to people who actually deserve it, but if you're a good and respectable person they'll show you the same kind of decency.

My mom has two German Shepherds that are my fuzz sisters. I love them way more than I thought I would ever love dogs. I was just a cat person for a really, really long time, but now I actually like or love dogs depending upon my relationship with them.

15. is there an artist of any kind who speaks to your soul?

Oh goodness! So many of them do. A lot of musical artists, writers, and the like. To name them all would have me write out a novel or two even. LOL!

[critical-ramblings]

What they Heard

This is just Caleb and the Scourger’s conversation in the cell, translated into German, with some fellow character reactions thrown in.

Also on AO3!

Fjord was standing right there still, next to the door. Beau was just a few steps behind him, and the others one step behind that. Eight Krynn guards, all watching them intently. Caleb took his hands out of his pockets and walked up to the cell door, putting his hands on either side like blocking out the rest of them would help. The remaining two globes of light hovered behind him, swirling gentle patterns that probably matched the ones in the cell. 

“Sind Sie wach?” 

Jester had known he spoken Zemnian--it was practically the first thing you learned about Caleb, that he was a wizard and that he was Zemnian. It used to be that he was smelly, too, but he had been keeping very clean since they’d come to Xhorhas, actually. Still, there was something about him, about his voice, that felt different, now. She’d never heard him speak it for any length of time, really. Not just Zemnian. 

“Wach auf. Sie sind an einem schlechten Ort. Rede mit mir.”

Though the peep-hole was too small for Fjord to look in, he heard the faintest shift of chains, a slight cough from the Scourger. He couldn’t see her, so he watched Caleb, carefully marking the tension in their wizard’s shoulders.

“Na los. Deine Lebenserwartung ist momentan äußerst gering. Wenn Sie sie nicht noch mehr verkürzen wollen, Ich brauche Sie mit mir spricht.”

“Es ist...wie es ist. Solche Dinge passieren im Krieg.” 

Caduceus could hear the damage in her voice from twenty feet away. It sank under his skin like an itch, an irritant that he longed to correct. It wasn’t about whether someone deserved healing, he told himself. It was about whether or not they needed it. He couldn’t understand what they were saying, either of them, but he knew she needed healing. Caleb took up the whole doorway, making requests that sounded like orders, and this was his test, so Caduceus would not interfere. Not until he was asked for. But he kept the warmth of the Wildmother close in his chest, ready to use if he should need it. 

“Können Sie mich ansehen?” 

“Wer fragt? Was wollen Sie?” 

“Sie hören doch, dass ich dieser Sprache mit dir spreche, im diesem Ort. Möchten Sie jede Hilfe oder nicht? Sieh mich an.” 

“Mit Magie kann man vieles vortäuschen. Mein Leben ist bereits verwirkt. Versuchen was Sie wollen, ihr könnt mich nicht brechen.” 

Was it just Beau, or was the Scourger’s voice getting stronger? She couldn’t see over Caleb’s shoulder into the cell, though she had her goggles on for sure. The reedy quality of the woman’s voice was probably caused by a couple of hits to the throat--it was a familiar sound, though Beau was used to it being accompanied by a ringing in her own ears. She was more concerned with Caleb, though. What this was doing to him, if it was really Astrid. What the Hells were they saying, anyway? The Reserve hadn’t been able to hammer languages into her any better than they had patience. Or respect. 

Of course Nott recognized when Caleb said, “Astrid.” It was the only word he’d said so far that she knew, even if he said it differently. And not just with a heavier accent--he said it so full of fear and longing. Nott reached for her crossbow, for her component pouch. She was already sizing up the guards. She could hear the chains clinking as the Scourger woman shifted.

“Was haben Sie gesagt?” 

“Sie haben mich schon gehört. Schau mir in die Augen.” 

“Wer sind Sie?” 

Caleb didn’t look away from the hole in the door, but he did lean his head against it, a familiar desperation coloring the words they couldn’t understand. “Dafür ist jetzt keine Zeit. Heb den Kopf. Dein Leben hängt am seidenen Faden, was haben Sie denn noch zu verlieren? Sieh mich an.” 

“Scahu doch, wo ich bin. Wem kann ich noch vertrauen? Wer ist es, wer Astrid kennt?” 

Caleb was silent for a long while. Jester almost stepped forward, wanting to put a hand on his shoulder. To tell him he was not alone in this room. At the same time, hadn’t they left Nott a little space when they’d rescued Yeza from this same prison? Was it the same, with him and Astrid? She wasn’t sure anymore. 

Even when he pulled his hand away to snap Frumpkin into the room, Beau could see it wasn’t shaking. It was like he was a different person, even without seeing his face. It wasn’t just that she couldn’t understand him, though that was fucking her up plenty. It was that he stood differently, spoke differently when he spoke Zemnian. She didn’t like this at all. 

“Werden--will you open the door?” Caleb turned to look at one of the guards, but he turned away so Fjord couldn’t see his expression. “Can we go in?”

“I’m sorry,” the drow said at once, an almost incredulous look on his face. “That cannot be done.” 

Fjord turned to look back at Beau, to see she was thinking the same thing. And Nott, patting excessively at the part of her cloak that hid her weird crossbow. In this, at least, they were on the same page. If Caleb wanted it. They still didn’t know if this was someone he wanted to...rescue? Interrogate? It certainly hadn’t sounded friendly, whatever they were saying. 

While Caduceus was asking his question, Caleb turned back to the door like none of them existed. 

“Kennen Sie Bren. Aldric. Ermendrud?” He said the name like it had been pulled out of him, like he was the one being tortured in a chair and she was the one questioning him. Still his hands didn’t shake, his voice stayed steady. 

“Sehr gut,” the Scourger said, almost sweetly. 

“Wer war er?” 

Fjord shifted so he could see just a corner of the chair, just a thin slice of the woman’s face when she lifted it to look at them. 

No. Just at him. 

“Weiß nicht. Bist du er?” 

“Wir werden sie beide finden. Und töten sie.”

But the lie was weak, and he knew it. Strange eyes like black pools pinned him in place, a vicious smile that he had seen in the mirror so many times.

“Ich habe schon von dir gehört, Bren. Wilkommen zurück.”

“Ich bin neugierig, was Sie über diesen Junger gehört haben. Mal sehen, ob Sie lange genug leben, um es mir zu erzählen.”

When he pulled away from the door, it felt like everyone in Rosohna was looking at him. He could still feel her eyes on him, through stone and darkness as he snuffed out his lights. Fjord’s voice sounded far away and under water, and Caleb had time to think that this somehow appropriate for him before he realized he should answer. 

Jester jumped at the chance to get a look at this Scourger herself. It could be Astrid, after all! Caleb had described her as short, with brown hair, but was she pretty? Did she have curves like Jester, or maybe a cool tattoo? But the woman in the cell just looked crazy, with her twisted smile and her swollen face. Blood had stuck her black hair to her skin in some places, and she...she really didn’t look sane. 

“Caleb are you alright? You don’t. Seem well. Do you...know this person?”

“She’s a murderer. She’s one of my own. She is me if I had. Done that to be me.” Caleb was still hiding, standing in a far corner and half-turned away from the group. He was clearly having trouble with something, he was very obviously not okay, but what exactly could Fjord do to call him on it? Best to finish dealing with this situation, figure out where they stood now. And ask later about what the hells he had said to her, and her to him. 

“But do you know her personally?” Meaning, are we breaking her out? Are we getting the hells out of the Dynasty now?

“No, no,” Caleb said, and wouldn’t look at him. “She’s one of many.” 

#cr #critical role #ep 70 spoilers #caleb widogast #the mighty nein #i may not be GOOD at German #but i love it

[jxles]

✧･ﾟ(   artemis + erika linder + woman   ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !!  have you seen (   juliet (jules) hellström  ) around ? (   she/her ) has been in kaos for (   twenty-six years   ). the (   twenty-six year old   ) is a (   wildlife officer   ) from (   kaos, greece   ). people say they can be (   hard to work with   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (   tenderhearted   ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of (   eyes that speak for themselves, the contradiction of the softest toughness, feeling of safety and warmth   ).  ･ﾟ✧  

(  penned by lauren, 23, cst, she/her  ).

hiii, i haven’t been in a group in a very long time but im excited to be here!! a lil nervous, going out of my comfort zone in some areas, but all around excited. fun fact, i had a mumu group almost just like this a couple years ago, except the difference was the gods kept their memories so they were all wilding out being human hahahah

feel free to skim this lol. but im in love w some of y’alls characters and i can’t wait to start talking to you and interacting! please feel free to message me whenever srsly! im in the discord you can find me there or pm me here.

one thing: is im very slow and have a disability and it’s rly hard for me to keep up with and concentrate on really long stuff, so keeping interactions just a bit on the shorter side will get our characters much farther with me lmao.

you can find her pinterest here, and i’ll make a playlist soon enough.

BASICS; brief about/family/small details

Honestly she might stab someone (if they actually somehow know her name) if they call her Juliet instead of Jules. 

She turned 26 on October 16th (which is the traditional day in celebration of Artemis as the goddess of nature and animals). 

She was born here in Kaos, I felt like it was important. Artemis was close to the nature in Greece specifically, hanging out around important rivers and forests constantly, befriending and loving the creatures in these areas. The nature of Greece was Artemis’ home, so it only made sense to me that when they were sent here she would wind up right back in it.

She’s very obviously not Grecian though, lmao. ((Erika is clearly Swedish, but German is a much more common demographic in Greece (actually one of the most common for non-native population). Scandinavia is all part of Germanic origins anyway, therefore,)) I think her family immigrated here from that region long before she was born!

She isn’t religious and has honestly never thought about it. (Laughable considering she’s a deity.)

She has a twin brother and he’s honestly like... too much for her to deal with lol. This is definitely me giving her a human brother that is the equivalent to the pain in the ass that Apollo was for her lmao. She loves him, but she will most definitely hit his ass when he’s annoying her. lskjdflskjdf

She doesn’t have a close relationship with her parents. There wasn’t really anything wrong with her upbringing (wow, me? making someone’s childhood average?) but they were never like close in the slightest. Her parents didn’t really want to be together, they only were for her and her brother, and the tenseness just radiated constantly. It wasn’t awful, but it obviously wasn’t ideal and even as a kid she’d much rather be playing with bugs in the backyard than hanging out inside. Once they’d grown up, her parents split. She has a more easy going relationship with them now, but she doesn’t feel the need to call.

She has a few tattoos here and there, for sure, but I haven’t picked them out yet.

She has two cats, and a snake. She doesn’t have a dog of her own, because she fosters them instead!

RELATIONSHIPS/SEXUALITY

TLDR below. Her gender is very difficult. I tried to explain it on my app but flailed around like a dumbass lmao. It’s a very common lesbian experience to be caught in this weird gender limbo. Not truly cis, but not really trans either. ((((Lesbians in my support groups all joke, “No gender, just d*ke” slkdflskdjf)))) So many of us connect to being a woman and womanhood only through our love for other women. And Artemis is definitely a lesbian, and I smile because through my eyes, I feel like I can see this being an experience all the way back to her. She declined and refused basically traditional forms of being “a woman” -- childbirth, marriage, sexuality specifically for men... and yet, she is the goddess of childbirth, fertility. It screams to me her love for women, and her connection to womanhood only being through other women. It’s very interesting and very complex, and very hard to explain to someone who doesn’t experience it. But yeah!!! 

My character is definitely also not feminine. I don’t think Artemis is either. I look at her statue where she’s leaning and got her hand on her hip and I’m like wow that’s some serious butch energy lmao. Big d*ke. Idk!!

TLDR: Jules is (def soft butch) lesbian, and her gender is neither trans/nb, nor quite cis either. 

On that... god, she loves women. Like, how can you not? They are soft, and all of them are complex, and gorgeous in so many ways. Artemis was surrounded by like 50 nymphs at all hours of the day everywhere she went lmfao. Gotta catch em all LSKDJFLDKFJ. 

So, Jules is definitely a stereotypical lesbiab in that she lowkey falls in love (in some way, and not necessarily romantically, just such a deep appreciation) w every lady she meets because, uh? Women? Magical, stunning, brave, phenomenal, spectacular, showstopping.

Because of this, and Artemis’ inclination to have every lady imaginable, Jules has a very hard time being in relationships. She doesn’t have like issues with it, and isn’t like completely afraid of commitment, it’s just kind of how it is. She loves to meet new women, and learn about them, etc. Butttt it’s not out of the question, if she meets someone super special. Artemis did get stuck on Callisto for awhile.

OCCUPATION

She is a wildlife officer, so you can find her around any local parks (protected water and forests, etc) doing her thing. 

Making sure people aren’t abusing the nature or the animals, watching for wounded animals, protecting hunters, etc. All kinds of stuff. 

She was never really interested in college, just not into it. She’s not really the scholarly type. She could have gone into zoology or something of that nature, and she thought about it, but it ultimately just wasn’t her thing. She’s happy where she’s at.

PERSONALITY

She’s a little hard to work with. She likes to do things her own way. Unlike most kids with siblings, she didn’t enjoy giving way for her brother. But I mean he was also a dumbass (in her humble sisterly opinion lmao) and she never felt the need to bend to his ideas. 

Still, she’s super kind and understanding -- uhhhhh at least with women, (she kind of >.> dislikes men-kind, always has but it’s only increased as she’s gotten older and more bitter toward ways of the world, and after an assault that isn’t necessary for intro tbh or who she is), but still. 

She is so so so so so soft inside lmao. She presents very tough just kind of naturally, but watch a lady smile at her the right way and her heart will melt smh.

She is definitely not a people pleaser. She does not care. Like, at all.

Um I feel like this wasn’t very good. I probably forgot something, and probably explained too much of other things. But!!! I just want to post this now so here we go lol. I hope this works well enough. I’m not good at bios so... some facts n stuff!!! Please message me aaaaa, I also @’d and messaged some of you, as well!

#kaos:intro #{ intro.

[pandoraborn]

COPIED AND PASTED from my rp blog ABOUT MARVIN

TATTOOS

Marvin doesn’t have Jack’s tattoos. He never wanted them, so he chose not to have them branded on his arms like some others did. Ultimately, he’s not Jack, and never was. Marvin is his own person and wants to show that off to everyone; to the fans, to the other Septics, and even strangers on the street. Marvin instead has tattoos that relate to the fact that he’s a magician, first and foremost. On his right arm is a full-length sleeve. This is the one he chose to represent what the fans saw in him: the slight-of-hand, the pocket watch, the card tricks. All simple magic that he shows off for fun, for videos, and even when he’s bored. It’s what got him named in his debut video.

On his left arm, left fore-arm, Marvin wears a symbol of his deity of choice, Cernunnos. This particular tattoo holds some magical energies inside it, a little extra boost of magicka to keep him going when he’s exhausted other energies. Both tattoos are done in black ink, with only added hints of color in his sleeve. It’s just enough color to make it pop. The deity is strictly done with solid black lines, and the magic added to it gives it the tiniest shimmer, seen in direct sunlight.

On his forehead, is a small blue diamond. It’s not large, and it’s supposed to resemble a jewel one might wear. This is nothing more than a personal symbol to the world that Marvin is powerful, and he’s more than just a stage magician, he’s got real magic that he rarely shows off.

These tattoos might not seem much to the average person, but to Marvin and the other Septics, it means he is absolutely not one to be messed with.

DEITY

Marvin worships Cernunnos, the Celtic God of life, animals, wealth, underworld. This ties into his celtic pagan roots, as Marvin probably has a great respect for nature all around. It is not above his nature to keep a small garden of plants and herbs for alchemy, healing use, and witchcraft. But it’s also why Marvin doesn’t personally have any pets: he has a great respect for animals as a whole.  Animals are to be left alone, not toyed with or hunted for sport. Marvin probably also takes his worship up a notch by refraining from animal products, excepting the occasional indulgence.

Marvin doesn’t talk about his worship much, because he’s not sure anyone cares, but he performs a small, daily ritual in order to receive blessings. He does this in private, in his bedroom, long before anyone else wakes up for the day. He’s able to meditate and reflect on why he’s seeking this deity out, and reflecting upon how it’ll help him in his magic use. It’s an arrangement that makes him happy, and he sees no reason to change things up.

To add: Cernunnos was the deity his parents devoted their coven around. The deity is Gaul Celtic, rather than Irish Celtic (Gaul being tribes that aren’t in Ireland). Marvin’s parents would definitely have this in mind, tracing their bloodline back to ancient Belgian tribes. Naturally, Marvin would pick this tradition up as well, after also doing his research on his bloodline and ancestors.

KNOWLEDGE

I’ve said before in threads and various headcanons that Marvin has a thirst for more knowledge. I never specified what kind of knowledge, just that he’s always studying. What he reads into a lot, and even tries to apply it to daily life is the study and practice of Hermeticism. This is a religious and philosophical practice attributed to the writings of Hermes Trismegistus. This practice had people back in the middle ages turning to superstition and magic, because of the idea of controlling nature. Marvin doesn’t have access to any of these writings now, but he is looking into some way to find and translate them, more out of a curiosity for himself. He has also looked into the history and lore of Nigromancy, or the study of black magic. Of course Marvin is going to be tempted and lured by powerful arts, but he has his reasons for staying firmly neutral.

There is so much knowledge that Marvin is constantly seeking out. He has a desire to learn everything he can about his own abilities, when magic came to be, how it works, and how to use it. There’s an entire eternity of things to read about, and he feels like his time is running out.

Marvin would also not be fluent in very many languages. He’s familiar with Latin, and he knows Irish almost fluently. Marvin probably would have also studied German, French, and Dutch, even Arabic. He’s not fluent in many of those languages, though he does know enough to be able to pick up on pieces here and there. Marvin tends to use a translator for what he doesn’t understand to fill in the blanks.

He’s very familiar with, and owns a copy of Picatrix, an Arabic book written somewhere in the 11th century. It’s a 400 page document that mostly consists of magic and astrology, so it would have a very special place on Marvin’s bookshelf.

BACKSTORY

Marvin isn’t an anomaly. He doesn’t have magic just because. He can trace his family roots back to the 16th century, having roots in pagan worship and general practice. He doesn’t have much knowledge about his history, but he does know he comes from a long line of powerful magic users. His own parents were part of a coven, and due to an unpreventable tragedy during a ritual gone wrong, Marvin’s parents were trapped in a void, unable to come back or re-open the portal, and anyone else who could potentially help died. Marvin was only two years old when this happened, and ever since then, he’d been raised by his grandmother. She encouraged him to keep learning and keep practicing until he became stronger.

His life’s goal is to become as powerful as he possibly could, in order to open that very portal that holds his parents trapped, and to free them. He’s taken years to get to where he is now, and it’s going to take some time longer yet.

Marvin is also aware that one former coven member is still alive, still around, and probably has a lot of answers. Marvin wants to find him and get those answers, but he doesn’t know where to start looking. It hasn’t stopped him from trying anyway.

WHAT HE KNOWS NOW

Marvin is only dimly aware of the multiverse. He doesn’t have enough knowledge on it to make good use out of it, but he knows enough to know it exists, and that there are multiple realities. He’s run into the same problem: he can’t open the door to other timelines on his own, he’d need some sort of help. He could reach out beyond the veil and seek out another magic user if he really wanted, but Marvin’s got too much pride and is far too stubborn to admit defeat.

He’s also aware that he’s in a sideways universe to our reality. He’s aware he’s a character behind the screen, he’s aware that to us, he’s only an ego. But in his reality, Marvin is very real and very powerful. His powers allow him to see just enough to know he’s not the only one, but not enough to enter. Thus, he studies and practices, and works hard so he can get to that point. The copius amount of studying his own history helps him out a great deal. Without the knowledge of the middle ages and what kickstarted magic, Marvin wouldn’t be as far as he is now.

WHAT HE CALLS HIMSELF

He’s not a mage. He’s not a wizard. He’s not a warlock. He could arguably call himself a sorcerer, but Marvin feels that doesn’t fit either. He’s incredibly powerful, but not powerful enough, so he studies and educates himself. He practices magic religiously, several hours a day. When he’s not studying, he’s using magic in his every day career, as a stage magician. It’s only small shows put on at least once a week for cityfolk, and he tours around for more money. He owns his own theater, he answers to a manager. He doesn’t at all find it degrading; it’s something to do in between his own quest to become more powerful.

Thus, marvin calls himself a scholar. The education and history is important to him in order for him to understand the whys and hows, and it’s equally as important as the actual usage of magic. No other label or title suits him, and scholar fits quite nicely.

WHAT THIS MEANS FOR THE FUTURE

This doesn’t change his overall personality. Marvin is still an arrogant asshole who places himself first. He’s still distrustful of most people and would stop at nothing to protect the other Septics. He still has powerful enchantments on their home, designed to keep intruders and even lesser supernatural creatures out. He makes use of his magic to help people when they need it, be it healing an injury, a spell to help them rest, or even something to soften their mood if they need to be calmed.

There are going to be more mentions and subtle references to his new arc and lore. Marvin is going to have more knowledge about the veil keeping the timelines separate, he’ll make references to other ‘septics’ and even quite possible reference the multiverse in general. Marvin is going to be closed off when it comes to actually talking about his family history, because that’s a pain and anguish he’s not ready to share yet.

I might make changes to what powers and magic he currently has, but I’m not going to list everything, just the basics. ‘Everything’ would be a list longer than this post and I’m not really willing to spend that much time and effort into that particular bit of knowledge. We’ll just say Marvin knows a lot of spells, and leave it at that.

Anyway, this post got super long, so I’m going to leave it off here. If I think of anything else, I’ll make a new post to continue this one. Thanks for reading!

#lore: marvin the magnificent #lore: septic egos #long post

[kootenaygoon]

So,

The sky glowed light purple as Chelsea wandered down the train tracks to Red Sands. Our friendship had fizzled a bit over Christmas, while she engaged with a short-term boyfriend, but as summer approached we’d been hanging out again. She lived in a party house up in Rosemont that was covered in psychedelic paintings, and through her I’d been introduced to a local tattoo artist named Joe Nillo who specialized in avian artwork. He was in the midst of creating a trippy metaphysical version of Mother Nature, using one of her roommates as a model, and I’d written a glowing feature about him for the Star.

"There’s two quotes from that Joe Nillo story that I really love. There’s one where he compares watching Alex Grey work to ‘watching God with a sore back watering some flowers’,” I told Chelsea.

"Then the other was: ‘God made man in his image, but that doesn’t mean he looks like us and wears T-shirts. It means he’s a creator and he wants us to create.’”

Chelsea took a slug from the beer in her hand. “I like that. Except God is a she, for sure. The divine feminine giving birth to the universe.”

“I’ve always figured God would be a mix of both, like masculinity and femininity mashed together into a giant cosmic mix. Do you even believe in God?”

She shook her head. “Not God like most people understand it, but there’s definitely an energy that’s bigger than all of us. A power to the universe that’s beyond our comprehension.”

“I like that quote ‘a God comprehended is not God’.”

She turned to me, intrigued. “I’ve never heard that.”

“I picked it up in this comparative religions class in college. It’s this German hymn writer named Tersteegen. I get a kick out of that idea, that we can’t even try to wrap our heads around God, like we shouldn’t even try.”

“But we do anyways.”

“Exactly.”

As we rounded the bend towards Red Sands Chelsea was balancing on the track with her arms out, clearly tipsy. We’d been drinking for a few hours and had smoked three or four joints during that time. She always had killer weed. At least one of her roommates was a pot dealer, if not all of them, and they sustained a party lifestyle I was already too old for. At one point she lived with Blayne, who was now permanently settled out in Victoria, but now the house was occupied by her, her adorable friend Aussie Chris, and Joe’s ex Kylie.

“For me, it’s not even a choice,” she said. “I just have to create. My work just sort of flows out of me without my permission. I don’t even like thinking about a life without that creative outlet, without my writing, because it would just be empty.”

I nodded. “Plus you have that performance element. Most of my work is designed to be read in silence, but your poetry begs to be sung.”

She laughed. “I’m not singing for you tonight. Not while I’m drunk. I’d be too embarrassed.”

When we reached the opening in the forest that led to the beach, I walked in front of Chelsea so she wouldn’t slip out of her sandals as we worked our way down the slope. The horizon had darkened to a royal purple that made the ground lilac.

“So how does your friend feel about Joe spending all this time painting her? They broke up, right? Isn’t it kind of awkward he’s obsessing over an art version of her?”

“Kylie was kind of weirded out at first, but she gets it. His art is his whole life. And I think secretly she’s flattered. Even through all their fighting, he’s still spending all this time trying to get her exactly right. And I bet when he’s finished he’ll give it to her.”

“I saw the painting in his studio, with the universe growing out of her palm. Trippy shit.”

“Yeah, it’s dope. He’s been slaving over it for like a year now, adding details and layers and new elements. He works on it live at music festivals, feeding off the energy of the crowd.”

“That’s so cool. He told me he’s going to be at Kamp and Shambhala this year, and I’m going to both. I told Ed that this is the year I want to go to all the major festivals, become the resident expert.”

Chelsea took another long haul of her beer as we settled on a spot, right in the middle of the beach, to lay down a towel. This was becoming an increasingly romantic encounter and I was feeding off her flirtatious energy, even though I knew she was on the verge of road-tripping down to California for the summer. We’d established the platonic nature of our relationship many times, but tonight felt like a good opportunity to nuke that plan. I maneuvered my body under hers and she settled on my chest with her eyes heavenward.

“I heard you took naked pictures of Blayne here,” she said, after a long comfortable silence. “She showed them to my roommates.”

I took a sip of beer, not sure how to play this. “She asked me to do a photo shoot with her last year and there were just a few, yeah, that were nudes. She wanted to show off her new tattoo. I knew her from burlesque world.”

“And you guys weren’t even hooking up?”

“It wasn’t about that. It was the images I was most interested in. I feel like it’s more intimate than sex, letting someone see you like that. I actually wrote a non-fiction piece about it while I was at UBC years ago called ‘What I look like naked’.”

She rolled over, pressing her body tight to mine. She was close enough that I could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Have you done that a lot? Taken erotica shots for women?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think of them as erotica. I mean, I’ve sexted before and I’ve taken photos that are pornographic, but shoots like that are about worship. I want the women to feel worshipped. I want the images to reflect that. Reflect my obsession with the female form.”

She blinked for a long moment, her eyes in shadow.

“I hooked up with this girl in Thailand right around the end of my trip overseas a few years ago. She was a geneticist from Berkeley and she showed me these nude photos her boyfriend had taken of her in Yosemite Park,” I said.

“She took them in the exact place her mother had taken nude photos thirty years earlier. Her mother had told her that when she grew older she would want these mementos of how she looked in her prime, with the flush of youth and love. They weren’t crass or sexualized at all. They just showed this empowered girl mid-hike in love with her body and in love with life.”

“Cool.”

“I figure if that’s a gift I can give someone, then that’s pretty fucking meaningful. And honestly, those pictures of Blayne are some of the most beautiful images I’ve ever captured in my whole life.”

“I didn’t actually see them, but Kylie described them to me. She said there was one where you had her hold a little leaf to cover herself, Eve-style?”

I laughed. “Yeah, and I used the smallest leaf I could find. The whole shoot had a Garden of Eden vibe, an innocence to it. It was like going backwards in time back to Genesis, before the shame God rained down on us, and finding something pure.”

For a while we were quiet, as the wind picked up and pulled at our clothing. Chelsea kept her face against my chest, one hand stroking my ribs, as we segued back to the topic of God. I told her about my Christian upbringing, about Camp Qwanoes and how I lost my faith. I told her about how I’ve never really gotten over it.

“You’re going to find a way to believe again. I’m sure you will. I don’t know what you’re going to believe in, but you’ll find something.”

I sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

Then she was kissing me. We rolled together until I was looming over her on the blanket. She watched as I undid her jean shorts and shimmied them down her legs. Our mouths surged back and forth while my left hand stroked her legs, massaging them. I hooked her underwear with a thumb and pulled. When she began to moan moments later it sounded exactly like her singing voice, a rhythmic ululation.

“Hold on,” she said. “Hold on, hold on.”

I stopped, pulling my head back.

“I’m really into this and everything, but I can’t go there tonight. I’m sorry. My heart’s too raw, I don’t want to leave for California with any attachments, I just need to stop here, okay? Is it okay if we stop?”

I nodded. “Of course. That makes perfect sense. We’re okay.”

For the next few moments we fumbled our way through getting her clothes back on, my erection screaming disappointed. I stroked Chelsea’s hair and held her face with both hands. Sometimes I forgot she was a decade younger than me, but it was very apparent in these moments. She was a girl, open-minded but still inexperienced. I’d been consumed in the grey chaos of the Kootenays’ sexual landscape, but ordinary monogamy was the only mode she understood. It was either fall in love or don’t engage at all, which was how I used to be when I was her age. Her purity was heart-breaking.

“You’re such an awesome guy, really,” she said, apologetic. “It’s not about you.”

“Don’t say anything else about it. I understand. No worries.”

Chelsea stood up, cracked a new beer, and gazed up at the black silhouette of Elephant Mountain. She was visibly trembling. I wondered if I’d done something wrong here, if I’d fucked up our friendship irrevocably. Was everything going to be different now? It had felt right, connecting with her, but maybe I needed to fundamentally course correct how I approached relationships. I finished my beer, threw it down, then walked over to embrace her from behind. She sighed into my hug, pressing her face against mine. Then she turned to face me.

“One day I want you to take my picture.”

The Kootenay Goon

[clubpassim]

Women in Folk - Abby Altman

Hi there!

Katie here, sad to say this will be the last interview of the series. I wanted to end things full-circle, and so I’m excited to introduce you to Passim’s very own, Abby Altman!

Abby is the Club Manager here at Passim, which means that most nights you can find her in the soundbooth or box office at Passim shows. She went to school for English Literature and German Language, grew up playing classical violin, and didn’t know much about the folk world until she found herself in Boston approximately five years ago. Soon after moving here, she sought out Passim one night for a show and has lived in the Club ever since. Though I’m kidding about that last part, you must understand the love Abby has for this special place. As soon as that first show ended, she immediately asked the Club if there was something, anything she could help with. And so, she started working at the box office here. Within a year, Matt Smith (managing director) had trained Abby on sound, as well as anything else she could learn to do at the Club. She has now been working at Passim for over 5 years, holds the title of Club Manager, and to set her love in stone, got a Passim tattoo on her right forearm.

While Abby has been a lover of music all her life, she never really enjoyed going to live shows. There was something about the talking and the distractions that deterred her from making that something she did regularly. So, I asked her, ‘Why Passim?’

“In college, I used to go to divey bars with blaring music everyone talked over anyways, or giant stadium shows where people spill beer on your shoes and are there more for the party than the music. I didn’t know there was a small version of music until I saw Passim. This is a listening room, where people stop talking for an hour and just sit and really listen. I had to be a part of that. I had to help make it happen.”

And happen it did. As Club Manager, Abby gets to wear a lot of different hats. She’s the manager for the night, soundchecks the bands and sets the stage up, and does payout at the end of the night. In larger clubs, there’d be one person on each job, but it’s that hands-on, all immersive part of the job that is Abby’s favorite part; she loves knowing that she’s a facilitator.

The next part of the interview discusses her role as a woman in a male-dominated profession.

[full interview under the cut]                        

Club Passim: Talk a little bit about your experiences as a female in a male-dominated profession/field.

Abby Altman: When I first started working here and learning sound, I didn’t realize the gender imbalance. I had no idea. I didn’t go to school for sound and notice all my classmates were guys, I didn’t go to other venues much and see “oh it’s always a sound GUY”. I didn’t have any background, and so Passim was my bubble. Whatever was normal for Passim was normal for me, and at Passim we have at least an equal number of men and women working sound and throughout the organization. It wasn't until I started working shows and talking with artists that came through that I realized, “Oh, I’m weird.” No one told me I couldn’t do it, so I didn’t even think about it. Once I started working downstairs regularly is when I noticed folks commenting, and not always negative things. I’ve gotten the whole range of comments from artists, from walking through the door and them saying to me, “Where’s the sound guy?” to after a show having artists come up to me and say, “this is fantastic; you’re my first sound woman”.

There will be nights where almost our entire staff are women, from the servers to the box office to me, it’s such a cool thing when it happens. Right now we have 4 women and 3 men on staff who run sound, but now when I do go out to other venues, I make a point to look at who’s working. Usually, I’m disappointed to see barely any women on staff. The same thing goes for festivals. We just had a couple of festivals in the area held with big stages and lots of crew, and it's always men. Every year. All men.

I’ve heard some hypotheses why more women don’t get hired for sound positions, and some of it is that not as many women go to school for sound engineering to begin with, and the workforce reflects that. But then you ask, ‘well why aren’t more women going into that’? And that’s a question I still don’t have an answer to.

CP: Do you notice a difference in how you’re treated by other artists, venues, audiences, and industry professionals before vs. after you stage manage?

AA: Sometimes. There are some people that definitely just walk in and judge you, but once I show them I know what I’m doing, they relax. Artists are so focused on making sure that they’re going to give the best show they possibly can, and understandably so. If for some reason they perceive the sound person isn’t going to be the best thing for their show, they’re going to be nervous and will want to run the whole thing. Artists will come back to the soundboard and change things for me, and that’s one of those things where sometimes that’s okay, and sometimes it is not. It can be with an air of ego where they think they can do my job better than me, or it can be actually helpful, especially if I’ve never heard the artists before or they’ve never played on our stage. It can really save time in the soundcheck and ensure the artist gives their best show.

CP: What do you do in a situation when you feel disrespected by the artists/co-workers you’re surrounded by?

AA: Every situation is different. Usually, I’d step aside and let them do what they need to do, because at the end of the day, it is the artist's show. If I’m fighting with them during soundcheck they’re not going to be in a good headspace for the show, which will make them give a worse performance. I have no problem taking a backseat when I need to.

Sometimes all it takes though is a little indication to show them that I do know what I’m doing. It’s silly that I feel like I have to prove it though, you know? I have this job. Passim has trusted me to run this show, so I shouldn’t have to prove to you that I’m qualified. But sometimes, if an artist asks you to do something and you reply in a way so they know you understand, it will put them at ease because to them it shows that you know what you’re talking about.

That’s something I’m not always sure if it’s a gender thing or an age thing, you know. I’m 28, and I look younger than I am, so I don’t always know if people’s reservations come from a woman being at the soundboard, because of my age, or because they just don’t know me. 

CP: In your opinion, how can men be more aware or informed about their women co-workers and peers in the music industry?

AA: Hire women. Whatever role you happen to be in, hire women to do things. If you’re an artist and you’re hiring a band, consider women for your band. If you’re looking for a studio engineer to record with, or a graphic designer for your new ep, look for women; tour managing, videography, producing, everything counts.

I get very, very tired of seeing bands of 6, 7, 8 people made up entirely of men.  It feels like something is wrong when you can’t find a single woman you want in your group.

Some of the arguments come back to ‘there aren’t as many women to hire’. And I’m not saying if 2% of studio engineers are women that you should hire a woman just to tick that box, but you should at least consider it.

CP: What message do you want to display as a woman “behind the scenes”?

AA: It is normal. Don’t try to make a big deal about it, being a woman in sound shouldn’t be a phenomenon, so don’t treat it like one. Just being there and making sure that I’m capable and do my job well is important. 

Actually, for the first time earlier this year I had a job offer to stage manage outside of Passim for a weekend festival. It was in a giant auditorium and I’ve never worked with anything that scale, but the artist who reached out to me was a musician who had worked with me before at Passim, and so when he was producing a show of his own he thought of me. That was really mind-blowing. It means that people do pay attention. 

It’s always such a balance. You want to be supportive and say, “I’m a woman and I’m awesome and look at all these other awesome women”, and you want to ensure people really see how badass it is when women run things. On the other hand, you feel like you shouldn’t have to do that, that it shouldn’t be something that gets pointed out.  Where’s the balance between shouting from the rooftops about amazing women artists but also trying to normalize their presence as simply artists?  That’s something I struggle with for sure.

CP: What words of wisdom/encouragement do you have for aspiring women in this field?

AA: Ask women for help. If you’re a woman and want to start doing something you wish you knew more about, it’s good to approach other women and ask them “How did you do this? How did you get here?” If I were in the sound booth and a woman came up to me after a show and asked me how a PA works, I would be extremely happy to talk about it. Lean on women, but remember that there are good men out there too. 

                                                             ~

Thank you, Abby, for such a unique perspective on this subject! Your love for your workplace and what you do is apparent to all who cross paths with you. It doesn’t matter where you come from or how much experience you have, all it takes is hard work, determination, and a passion for what you do. The rest will fall in place.

Thank you all for reading, and stay tuned for one last post from me in the ‘Women in Folk’ blog.

Katie

#womeninfolk #club passim #folk #soundengineer #clubmanager #womeninpower #feminism #music #boston #speakup

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #403

“ashes to ashes, watch me disappear”

If given the opportunity, would you like to star in a musical? Definitely not. I don't like musicals. Name one person you’d take a bullet for: There's honestly a lot, but Mom immediately came to mind. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah: Metallica and Marilyn Manson currently. I want lots more, especially an Ozzy one. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates. Do you share your bedroom with anyone? No, unless you include my cat and snake. Is your favorite color yellow? No, it's actually one of my least favorites. Were you born in a hospital? I was. Do you know the name of the person that delivered you? No, but Mom does. I think he delivered me and my two sisters, and I know Mom has seen him since for other reasons. Was your birth recorded? God no. Good call, Mom. Did you eat a peach this week? Would you believe me if I told you I had a small bit of peach pie for my sister's birthday? For some reason, I just really wanted to try some. It was okay, but the aftertaste sucked. Are you leaving the house tomorrow? Yes, for TMS therapy. Every weekday. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? I honestly do. If you could get free vocal lessons would you take them? Probably not. I don't like singing in front of anyone, and it's not like I wanna get anywhere with my singing, so. Is your mother diabetic? She is. Are you? No. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. What is your main responsibility each day? Be sure to take my medications. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. There are rare mornings where I forget, but I almost always remember. I don't fw skipping out on meds that keep my mental health stable. When was the last time you used spray paint? Good question. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Yep. Who is the friendliest person you know? My mom, probably. Something that annoys you about summer: THE HEAT. THE HUMIDITY. UGH. Something that annoys you about winter: Hm. That's hard to say, given I love winter. I guess the fact it doesn't snow enough here. Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side-by-side. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Not sobbed or anything, but I've definitely teared up and gotten the sniffles because of multiple movies. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? No. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I didn't need to pretend; I'm pretty damn sure I was for a while. Might I add that it's EXTREMELY inconsiderate to pretend you're insane, btw. Insanity is not "cool." It's not "funny." It's not "edgy." It's a serious, confusing, heart-wrenching issue that can ruin lives. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Yes, myself included when I'm even mildly nervous. And sometimes just randomly. With a lisp? I don't believe so. What was the last board game you played? The Disney version of "Pretty Pretty Princess" w/ my niece and even my nephew, even though his sexist-ass dad didn't want him to. Like let your kid have some fun with his sister and aunt, goddamn. They had a blast. It was Aubree's birthday present from me, so I am SO glad she loved it. Did you win? Ha ha, no, I always let Aubree or Ryder win. I came super close once, but I let the kids bend the rules a bit. They don't like losing, and even though they definitely need to understand that just happens and is totally fine for it to, I wasn't about to be the one to make them sad about it. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? OH MY LAAAAAWWWWWWD. Also at Aubree's b-day party, at one point, I spoke in a snobbish British accent while I was winning at the aforementioned game. Ryder asked, "Why are you speaking Spanish?", and I fuckin DIED. Have you ever made up a word before? Yeah, I know at least a few instances for fantasy animals in writing. When was the last time you went to a museum? A couple summers ago when my brother and his son visited, we went to a science museum. My nephew was sooooo into it. Do you have a nice yard? If so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? If not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days? Our front and back yards are both small and honestly very boring. The grass is a pretty green, but that's the only nice thing about it. I don't go to sit outside here on any day. Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? My parents and I have very similar music tastes, so there's that. I also didn't know for the longest time that Mom likes to write, which I sure as hell do, too! She doesn't really write anymore though, and she's self-conscious of it anyway, like I am. She and I also love a lot of the same shows. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? I think The Incredibles 2. I aaaalways wanted to know what happened after the end of the first film. Do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you had the time/had the talent? Please share a synopsis! I genuinely think some RP I've written is series-worthy, but I don't feel like re-writing the YEARS of RP into a book format, and I sincerely worry that the ridiculously dark parts could inspire people like serial killers and cause A LOT of controversy, crime-blaming, and just general hate. I don't want to be involved in that. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? Compliment my Markiplier tattoo, obviously knowing it's a tribute to him, and we're essentially besties. Is there a person in your life (maybe barely) that you feel in constant competition with (even just in your imagination)? Maybe you feel they are consistently outshining you? Ugh... there's a local photographer that's much more successful than I am that I admittedly am very envious of. I swear to whatever god you may believe in that I mean it from a modest perspective, I really, really do, but I genuinely think my skills surpasses hers, and she's only more prevalent because photography REALLY is about who you know. She's talented, yes, but like... come on. If you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)? I mean yeah. I miss cuddling, holding hands, kissing, just being cute together, and especially people getting engaged or having kids. It's such a trigger to me. Once upon a time, that's all I wanted with Jason. I wanted to be that beautiful couple that got married and had two or three loved-beyond-words children, but then he left so abruptly, and I feel like it was so brutally robbed from me. I don't want kids anymore like at all, but the point still stands that I felt like my dreams were just ripped away. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use "Ozzkat" just about everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OHHHHHHHHHH YEAH. There have been a couple days or so where I was totally glued to looking up various tattoo designs, bingeing let's plays or conspiracy theory videos, etc. etc. If you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)? I WILL NOT get married in a church, first of all. I'm also not having the traditional vows, and I probably won't wear a white dress, but instead black. Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? Ohhhh, I like all those options but barbecue. I think I've gotta go with sour cream & onion, though. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? A D O R A B L E ! ! ! I think they're ordinarily geeky, but I mean, geeky is cute in my world. :^) Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? Angels, no. Spirits/ghosts, 100%. I don't exactly believe in demons, per se, but I do question if evil spirits can possess someone. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? I've seen The Notebook numerous times. Name three countries you want to visit; why those three? South Africa to interact with meerkats at the KMP, somewhere up in Canada to see the Northern Lights, and Germany just because, really. I took German for four semesters, and the culture and all just interests me. Do you have a good luck charm? No, considering I don't believe they do jack. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Only Sara. Now that I have Discord semi-figured out now though, we'll probably use that for voice chatting. Are you allergic to any animals? I might be allergic to dogs. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home? I'm like... always at home. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say "retard/retarded" as an insult? Absofuckinglutely. Don't pull that shit when I'm around. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever lived through a hurricane? Plenty. Have you ever had a home-grown tomato? Yes, from my old friend's garden. We'd have delicious tomato, mayo, and bacon sandwiches. The only instance where I've enjoyed tomatoes. Have you ever held a real gun? The former friend I mentioned just before, her husband always carried a gun, and he just needed me to hold it for a sec for some reason I don't recall. I hated the feeling. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans? I like both, but I think I prefer Converse. Have you ever been called bipolar? Yes, because I clinically am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? FUCK no. And like the "retarded" thing, don't you fucking DARE to do this in front of me. I WILL deck the shit out of you. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage? Sure, as long as you're being safe and are very thorough in communication. Do you like to watch old sitcoms? I don't really watch TV as I say in like every survey it seems, but I do enjoy some old sitcoms I grew up watching with my mom, like The Nanny, The Golden Girls, The Munsters, etc. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now? Being completely serious, I don't even know if I CAN physically run right now. My legs are so incredibly weak, and I'm humiliatingly close to what my heaviest weight was back in 2016, so I can almost guarantee my knees would crumple if I tried. Do you wear those rubber wristbands? I used to. I don't really like bracelets nowadays. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? Nope. Have you ever driven an electric car? No. When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with? Uhhhh idk. What breed was the last dog you saw? A fucking GOLIATH of a lab. I shit you not when I say my sister's roommate's dog Hudson is the size of a goddamn bear. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): I wanna say they were together at the very least 20 years. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I once accidentally put something (I don't remember what) in the microwave for around 45 minutes I believe, and I walked away and completely forgot about it. I remembered a long while later, and safe to say, it wasn't edible, whatever it was, lmao. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No, but that'd be cool. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? Somewhere around two years ago? My memory is so garbage nowadays. Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting? It's distracting, usually. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? I've been pretty bad about drinking too much soda lately. :/

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''under the graveyard'' by ozzy osbourne