#like. its clear that while i dont think the relationship was toxic it was unhealthy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiwibongos · 2 days

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warning for ab/se & toxic relationships. and sdr2 spoilers duh

im thinking abt the remnants of despair. cause i hate how it just seemed to be like, "theyre suddenly brainwashed and then they turn evilll and they kill because they dont feel anything" like, i hate that. it feels so underdeveloped. it cant just be despair, it has to be deeper than that, i think it'd take personal angles and link with a lot of their own trauma, leaving them really vulnerable and deranged. so heres my own interpretation and headcanons for some of them

contains mikan, nagito, fuyuhiko, peko, akane, and brief analysis of the rest. keep in mind i havent seen the animes yet lol so this is a basic layer of it, but i just rly wanted to let this out cus i dont see it talked about. storing my brainrot here for later moments.

first of all i feel like the brainwashing would be a very slow process bc junko would definitely just manipulate everyone in her way to get what she wants. and by the time the world was plagued basically, all the remnants clearly had really unhealthy feelings related to junko specifically. they all love her, hate her, or praise her, but its all in very different ways that would be bc of their own personal backstories

we all know how mikan and nagito feel. mikan was constantly hurt by other people before junko herself, itd make sense for her to develop a very unhealthy attachment to her. mikan was extremely vulnerable and controllable, she would do anything for anyone and especially junko, just so no one is mad at her, hence why it got so twisted to the point where she wanted to keep a part of her inside forever. she wanted to be loved so badly, she would take whatever form of it she could. thats why it was so easy for junko to get her under her boot. now nagito has an odd love-hate relationship with junko imo (his mind is so messed up man) even if he praises hope in such a grossly obsessed way, the mf still TOOK her arm. i know he did it because he hated her so much and i guess to take power back, but i feel like because nagito had never really been loved, he wanted to try and feel what it could've been like out of some kind of confused desperation and fondness for her in a way, because his mind has no idea what those feelings truly are or what they mean, as hatred and love often get mixed up in his head and form this horrible amalgamation with whoever he meets, which is clear towards the survivors in the nwp anyway

fuyuhiko put junko's own eye into his own socket, and i feel like his relationship with her while in despair would be kinda familial/perhaps parasocial if thats the right word. like, he is definitely one of the most fucked up to me. id say by my own headcanons though its heavily implied in his fte dialogues, is his parents are very ab/usive right from the start. fuyuhiko is messed up to all hell, he was constantly struck and under pressure but he had to be strong and perfect because he was the head of his clan, hence like his insane tolerance for pain. he had to make his clan, or more importantly his parents proud, or else he was a failure forever. so he clung onto that and did his best trying to be good enough for basically anyone. and even before despair he was in a really bad stubborn, mean, depressive state, leaving him far more vulnerable and more open to violent, impulsive actions as long as junko was smart enough to get him under her finger. fuyuhiko never knew what true love felt like (platonic or not), and when junko took advantage of all of that and he slowly fell into despair, shit hit the fan. he lost morality and he had come so attached to her to the point where junko was like a mother figure to him. he wanted her to notice him and be proud basically, it was moreso the idea of someone-- anyone-- being proud of him, but junko was his main focus of that by now, given his state. to him she was like the mother he never had, who seemed to be on the same terms with everything he had believed, someone who approved of him, so he wanted to make her proud, even if it was hurting him. fuyuhiko would keep digging himself a hole of desperation and self destruction, seeking more and more pain to test his endurance because it's what she wanted, and that became what he wanted, too, because pain is all he's used to. and because of that, makotos guess was right; he wanted to see her despair. it'd make sense he'd want to take a part of her, to see horrors she had witnessed so he could understand it, so she could be proud of him and part of him forever. he felt like if he did that, he would finally succeed, he'd achieve perfection, and he did. he'd done everything junko wanted him to do, while quenching his own thirst for violence itself, all via his own delusions. that was love to him and it felt real

as for peko she was definitely also treated the same in the kuzuryu family but more dehumanized obviously, so i think she'd feel a similar way; always needing to be good enough, but more specifically protecting the ones she cares about at all costs even if it results in bloodshed. i think she'd be a lot colder, forcing to suppress her feelings since she just has to follow fuyuhiko wherever he goes, and she was pretty much as insane as him as well so anything slid. i know peko doesnt want to be a tool, but she'd definitely succumb to the fact that she has to be one when they're under despair at the same time, and if she was going to be his tool, she has to be like a robot and just do what follows, because she didn't see herself as a person, her chance of being her own human was ripped away

as for akane, she grew up very poor, and didn't live a good life at all either (w/ definitely bad parents) but she always tried her very best taking care of her siblings in the past, despite everything. i think there was a lot of twisted familial love with junko whom she started to see as a sister despite being unrelated, just because of being a caretaker all her life, its just kind of instinct to protect anyone, but that just got mixed up as she fell into despair, and she would only protect junko, while chaotically killing anyone else in her way. she'd fight for her endlessly, she was one of the strongest, at least for a while, im thinkin she found her body and wanted to preserve it as much as possible by the end of everything, she still wanted to take care of her and do everything for her even if she had been too late. and with that, and barely any food in an apocalyptic world, the inevitable happens. akane would fall into a very hurtful spiral of self hate, that her starving was like a punishment to herself for her own failures and how she was failing to preserve junk since shes a very emotional but crazy, desperate mess

thats all i can think of atm. uhh short extra stuff; i feel like mikan or gundham would try to stitch junko up a bit? and try to keep her from falling apart as long as possible. i feel like mikan is more likely to do that. if gundham did, it'd be for dark purposes given the whole overlord thing he has going on

+ kazuichi never liked himself, was bullied often and always wanted to be liked (especially by women), so he'd be notably attached to junko in this scenario, most likely in a romantic way next to mikan. he'd also just be very insane in general and would cause havoc like 24/7 just for satisfaction and to please junko/despair itself, in the way that he'd do anything for her, someone he loved. he'd just get his hands on a lot of weapons and would just go on mindless chaotic sprees. nekomaru would be similar, being chaotic and all, but he's all about the physical burn and the pain. sonia is just a corrupted leader since she took advantage of her power under despair, so anyone would expect that. and mahiru fell into morbid curiosity and gets worse, given what she does with her camera

teruteru was just a little hungry. boys gotta eat

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pettydollie · 2 months

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ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ꜱʜᴀᴘᴇᴅ ꜱᴜɴɢʟᴀꜱꜱᴇꜱ [ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴀɴ ɢᴇᴛꜱ ʜɪꜱ ᴡɪꜱʜ] - ᴅᴀʏʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴘ3

summary: yn deals with the trauma from her toxic ex boyf in a negative way, falling into unhealthy habits. she meets chris at a cafe she works at but has trouble admitting her liking to him, but its even harder when her best friend hates him. warnings/notes: fem!reader, lowercase intended, chris drives a chevvy only bc of the song dont come for me ty, wc: 1.1k

you threw on your white "Ruby's" apron, getting ready for the day. you quickly fix your pink heart shaped sunglasses in your phone camera before putting it in your small locker.

your hips swayed as you strutted over to the booth with 4 men sat inside. "hi, i'm liyah, what can i get you?" you greet, putting a smile on your face. "goddamn." you heard one of them mutter under their breath, some of them laughing quietly to themselves.

your smile falters slightly, waiting for them to order. another one of the guys pretends to read the menu. "uhhhh i'll have dat ass." the booth bursts out laughing, you biting the inside of your cheek in anger and embarrassment. you don't say a word as you walk back to the cash register, not wanting to deal with them.

you sigh loudly, looking at your coworker who was looking down at the counter while zoned out. you wait a few seconds before letting out a breath again. still no response. "pleaseee, i can't. not today." you pout, your glossy lips shimmering in the sunlight.

he sighs, "finee." he grabs a pen and notepad before walking away. you exhale in relief, taking his place at the register. a few dull moments pass before a handsome man walks into the corner cafe, the bell above ringing. you fix your posture, smiling brightly.

"hi, welcome to Ruby's! what can i get you?"

his bright blue eyes look into yours, admiring your facial features. "shit, you're pretty." he whispers to himself. your mood instantly changes. you give him an upside down smile sheepishly, muttering a small "thank you." he looks a little familiar.. he looks like nick, your brother's.. friend? you didnt know he had a twin!

he smiles and stares at the menu while you stare at him. brunette, somewhat beefy arms (you subtly bite the inside of your cheek seeing them), earrings, brown hoodie and matching sweats, a cap that fits his head perfectly, and a stubble on the bottom half of his face. he looks up at your head. "nice glasses." he motions towards your pink sunglasses. your bubbly persona begins to surface. "thank you! my friend got me them, i think they're adorable."

you stop yourself before you can say anything else. you shake your head, embarrassed, but he just admires you.

"can i buy you a milkshake sometime?" he blurts, throwing you off guard. you blink and shake your head, avoiding eye contact. "not unless you want your heart to break." you chuckle dryly.

he's very sweet, you must admit. but he's just going off your looks, that's a red flag right? and anyhow, it's not like you're girlfriend material. look at how your last relationship went. actually, scratch that. you're not a simple date material. you can't. you've never been taken out, you wouldn't know how to act.

however, he’s raising a brow. “why’s that?” his curious face makes you suddenly anxious. you bite your tongue. “what can i get you, sir?" you remind him that you're still waiting for him to order.

he shrugs in defeat letting out a “yeah alright” and orders his food. he hands you a twenty, more than what you need. "keep the change." he smiles softly and you can't help but smile back sweetly, "thank you." you bend down to grab his goods and bag them up. you place the bag down infront of him, shoving a few Ruby's napkins inside.

except he doesn't leave yet. he lingers for a moment. "my name's chris." he lets out cute little giggles, you can tell he's nervous. you awkwardly wait for him to continue. he clears his throat as people behind him wait annoyedly in line. "just ask her out already!" some guy exclaims, some people chuckling.

chris rolls his eyes. his gaze falls back on you. "are you sure you don't wanna go out with me? you-" he sighs, scratching the back of his head. he usually doesn't ever come on this strong, but he can't help it. you have an aura that draws him into you just from a few words. "you seem cool. it'd be on me?" he shrugs, giving a hopeful grin.

you should say no. you should decline. it's the wise thing to do, you're not capable of being with someone. it takes away too much energy, too much time. you really shouldn't get involved. you should shake your head politely, signaling nonono.

but you don't.

instead, your glossy lips turn up happily and you nod your head shyly. "sure." your numbers are exchanged quickly, you hope people haven't started leaving. is this a bad idea? probably. but his boston accent was adorable and his kind words made your heart flutter, how could anyone say no? your coworker comes back to the counter sighing, "girl you better hurry up. those damn thugs took forever to order and ion got time to wait for you too."

chris' cheesy smile is back as he takes his treats and looks at you one more time before wishing you a great day and exiting the cafe. he gets into a chevrolet, driving off. your lightly shoved over by your fellow employee, who's smirking knowingly. "what was that all about?" he asks, before putting on a commercial smile for the next customer.

you shrug. "we're going out." and as the words fall out of your mouth, an employee yells out, "order up!" and dings the tiny bell sitting at the pickup counter. you grab the tray, walking over to the ignorant group of boys, giving out the food and drinks as they tell you. you fold the tray under your arm and tell them to enjoy, walking back to the register quickly.

the conversation continues as if you never left. "you're going out? pfft, good luck baby." he snickers. your mouth drops open in faux shock, knowing his teases were playful. "how dare you! i've gone out."

but his response his definitely not. he waves off the last customer and turns to you. "out to parties, sis. that ain't a date bae. yo weak ass boyfriend never took you out to dinner did he? you don't even gotta tell me, i already know. you better pray you don't fuck this up because mm that white boy is fine." he claps at the end of his sentence.

you nod your head repeatedly. your happy smile has left your face, turning into a disappointed frown. oh gosh, you knew this was a bad idea. you're a complete wreck! you can't go on a date. of course phil was right, phil's always right.

later, when you're at home after the long day, you're sitting at your makeshift vanity (which is actually just a nightstand with a mirror on it) while gripping your phone tight. chris' messages are open, you've already talked to him a bit. he moved to LA from Boston and has three brothers, two of them being his triplets (which you think is so cool!!). otherwise, you guys have just talked about random things, whatever came on your mind, etc.

you liked how simple and easy it seemed to be. you remember with your ex, you never really got to know him without being a bother or him waving you off. you scoff and roll your eyes at the thought of him. but you shouldn't go further into this. you know it's not fair to him.

you type out the words 'i'm sorry but i cant go out with you.' it's blunt and depressing, something that he wouldn't want. you feel bad though, he seems like a such an amazing person. you bite your nail. maybe you're missing a great opportunity by rejecting him.

you send the message, already regretting it as soon as it reached him. he left you on read for about a minute before texting back,

'did i do something wrong?'

you want to smack your forehead. you sigh, texting back.

yn no of course not!! chris soo whats the problem? yn i just cant, im sorry. chris alright its fine dw about it. can we be friends?

you smile at this, he still wants a connection.

yn id love that 💕

chris loved your message, 'id love that 💕'

@joanofarcily :)

#chris sturniolo x reader #ᴅᴀʏʟɪɢʜᴛ

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stackslip · 1 year

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its actually good that the anime has been making me rethink himeno bc theres been more discourse around her (including some genuine poor taste ones about her and makima doing a "groom-off") and i genuinely didnt feel strogky enugh about her to really care. but with the recent ep + a quick reread of her chapters she reads as neither an angel nor as a toxic predator but rather as v similar to misato nge to me. as in like, shes someone who is very clearly deeply traumatized, who has a poor sense of boundaries in general in part bc of that trauma, and who was handed this teenage boy as a partner to eventually lose but instead he lived. it's very clear to me that while shes not what id call actively predatory, she does have some massive issuss in how she treats aki and then denji–i dont think shes been grooming aki, as grooming is a process and one that requires actual thought and planning, while himeno is like...... her romantic interest in aki is creepy but he is in his early ywenties by the time shes seriously considering courting him. and with denji its not a process either, rather a series of pisspoor decisions coupled with spcietal expectations that it isnt bad for an older woman to act inappropriately with a teenage boy.

tbc this isnt defending her or saying shes just a poor soul nlah blah quite the contrary, theres a reason i compare her to misato. your mileage can vary on what to call her or what words to use to describe her actions, but they are at the very very least deeply inappropriate and creepy. and like, its important to think of why shes like this and what her actions mean in the larger context of chainsaw man's exploration of abuse and power dynamics. she is, again, deeply traumatized and alone, and when aki shows all signs that hes going to live she puts a SHITTON on him and develops a really unhealthy relationship to him; even as a teen he seems more aware of appropriate boundaries than she is and has to learn to navigate their relationship in a far stricter manner than she does.

but its worth asking why they became partners in the first place–to question the environment of public safety. its not jsut that rookies die so easily, its that anybody can join as long as they have the will to 1) give up on their lives entirely to go adter the gun devil 2) make contracts that will cost them immensely. aki is a teen when he joins, hes lost his entire family and he's what public safety seeks–new blood, someone who'll disregard their safety for work, someone with no attachments. the buddy system is presented as being for safety reasons, but ngl i think its also to purposefully foster codependency and an active desire for vengeance when one buddy inevitably dies. public safety has tight regulations and a union and paid holidays and they are very okay with roping in vulnerable teenagers to their deaths or worse! how old was himeno when she joined? did she do it for the money for her fathers medicine? did anybody notice this backstory is revealed at the same time we learn kobeni was forced by her family to join public safety? at the same time its made clear that power and denji have absolutely no agency in this situation?

i think...... himeno is, at best, deeply irresponsible and lax on boundaries and has a real peoblem with using teenage boys as emotional crutches. at worse she assumes none of her behaviour could ever be genuinely bad because shes an older woman and theyre all colleagues, haha hoohoo, and yeah that makes her a predatory creep. shes also incredibly tragic, and its ok to admit both these things coexist in her. she's another pawn that works at public safety, a resource to be consumed, the deaths around her and her trauma the fuel to her workplace motivation. and like, it says a lot that everyone is perfectly ok with her behaviour towards denji–theres obviously the societal perceptiom of that kind of dynamic (even as himeno herself is like oh shit thats illegal aint it), but also like.... relationships there are deeply skewed on purpose because death and suffering and fucked up hookups and the exploitation of vulnerable people–including teenagers–is so normalized. like what, you gonna call your adult colleague *predatory* for flirting with the their own teenage colleague who'll probably die a gruesome death any day bc thats just part of the job? you gonna talk about how its weird for your workplace acquaintance to be so intimate with their underage buddy when you're currently working with a 15 year old who is consumed by vengeance for their family and will either die within the year or stay as a fucked up husk of a person selling their every body part to save your life?

#i like himeno a lot more this time around. she actuslly feels like a real person who has catastrophic coping mechanisms #would love for chainsaw man discourse about complicated/evil characters to go beyond 'x did nothing wrong/is too hot for me to care'#or 'groomer abuser. end of story no need for further analysis either of the characters of the setting or the larger picture'#csm #eli talks #csa /

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verytiredowl · 4 years

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A character analysation of IdV’s Bloody Queen

Bloody Queen AKA Mary is a hunter in the mobile/PC game Identity V. She is personally my favorite hunter because she is easy to learn but hard to master. Her backstory is something that has always interested me though, so i decided to compile my thoughts onto this one post.

Something i appreciate about IdV’s character roster is that some of them are based off of historical characters, and interesting ones at that. So expect a lot of history lessons and references that should be explained in order to understand a character fully (especially with Mary considering how there isn’t a lot shown about her backstory through promotional content, and im talking about stuff like the official website here).

With that in mind, let’s just get into it.

There is not a lot we know about Mary other than the fact that she is inspired from a mix of stories, those being about a French queen named Marie Antoinette and Bloody Mary. These two are used in seperate ways, Marie Antoinette’s story being used as heavy inspiration for Mary’s backstory and lore, while Bloody Mary is a visual/gameplay inspiration.

Mary’s description on her info page and on the official idv website is

This is strange because it really tells little to nothing about Mary besides her being aware that the position of a queen means a lot of vulnerability. It also strikes me as weird because every other hunter has a fleshed out backstory being written under this tab. (With the exception of Guard 26)

So overall, the ground to work on is pretty small, we dont have a lot of info revealed to us, and therefore leaves her to be a character who loses a lot of potential on a writing stance.

Intro Video

Mary does have an introduction video, though, which explains the base of what happened to her Pre-manor.

The video explains how Mary was the queen of a country that had a bad financial crisis which was so bad people couldn’t afford food (if we are sticking fully to the Marie Antoinette inspo, this was in the 1790′s) and the public felt as if Mary didn’t care enough to help her people, the citizens voted her to be beheaded under a guillotine. Truth be told, Mary was actually trying to help her citizens by giving them cake.

We have probably the most lore information about Mary from her deduction descriptions, which explain her career as a queen more in detail, about struggles she had and her situation in general.

Deductions

(Credits to u/mawile94 on Reddit for the images)

The first conclusion is clearly telling us that the king Mary married had a problematic family, and the king’s family probably only looked at Mary as someone who will keep the family’s name up, someone who will have a child with the king. (Also, dont get confused: Maria Theresia is Mary’s mother’s name, not her actual name.)

Mary used to spend a lot of time away from the palace in Petit Trianon, which is a manor located in Versailles. The secret letter tells us that Mary was egoistic, naive, and was kind of a glutton. The letter mentions how rumors are powerful, and are going to spread really fast once word comes out about the “incompetence” and lacking abilities witihin the royal family, which will eventually be Mary’s demise.

Princess Lamballe is once again a historical recreation of actual Priness Lamballe, a part of the Savoy House (Western EU country). In real life, Lamballe was actually the confidante (someone who you would discuss private matters with as a royal) of Marie Antoinette after her 1 year old marriage came to an end. IRL, Princess Lambelle dies along Marie Antoinette’s side as she gets killed in the French Revolution.

The shameful secret can really only be assumed to mean that Lamballe was actually Mary’s secret affair, especially looking at how all evidence suggests that the actual royal family Mary is connected to seems to be a mess. Mary is kind of confirmed to be wlw from this deduction which is fucking cool, but this rumor mightve been what also caused Mary to be beheaded. (But, IRL, the king Artois considered Marie to be physicially unattractive or even smart enough for him, in contrary to him, where he apparently was attractive. He did end up making up with quite a number of mistresses. But let’s not get into a conversation about how unhealthy or toxic royal relationships were in the 1700′s)

this is obviously saying Lamballe is being replaced by the Yolande (Countess of Polignac) as her confidante. IRL, this happens because the Countess of Pilognac and Lamballe start having quarrels against each other, in which they try to win over the queen’s heart, and over time Marie ends up preferring Yolande’s company. But Lamballe feels as if Yolande was a bad influence on the queen, yet she could do nothing about it. The friendship between Lamballe and Marie remained regardless, and she constantly admired Lamballe’s loyalty toward her. "She is the only woman I know who never bears a grudge; neither hatred nor jealousy is to be found in her."

Mary finally has a child, and it is a girl. Here we see the reinforcement of Lamballe’s loyalty, but with this conclusion also being titled as a rumor, it is also telling that this is one of many reasons people will start getting suspicious of Mary’s possible affairs.

This conclusion only leads me to believe that one of the several reasons why Mary was treated the way she was by the public was because of jealousy towards her life and the things she achieved at a young age. The description of the people who are spreading the rumors are bitter, sour people who take joy out of seeing the bad in successful people. Here is where it all goes downhill (as evident by the subtitle under the deduction title.)

We will once again need a little bit of a history lesson for this one:

Koblenz, first of all is a city in Germany. The reason why the French would ever think of even setting up anything in Germany was because of the French Immigrants, and the reason why the Germans were cool about this was because the archbishop-elector (one of the chiep bishop electors) was the uncle of Louis XVI-a persecuted king of France. Along with the refugees that entered the city, two of them was Louis XVI’s brothers: The Count of Provence and the Count of Artois. them, along with Louis XVI’s cousin, Prince Louis Joseph formed an army of aristocrats who would seek to fight for the Ancien Regimé (The name of the political and social system that was popular in France at the time.) In the meantime back in France, the Royal Family gave in and decided to adopt the Constitutional Monarchy, which was very modern at the time. This deduction description just basically explains that this is where Mary and the royal family fucks up, i just thought it would be interesting to know what they actually meant by what they wrote.

Yolande has left behind the Royal Family and made a run to escape the country. If you’re wondering, at the start of the revolution Princess Lamballe was actually in Switzerland, but as soon as she got notified of the situation she revisited the royal family to aid them, and reassumed her position.

This letter in particular is pretty cut-and-clear: the intention of the revolutionists was to smudge the royal family’s name in the dirt once and for all. What real-life anti-monarchist propaganda would consist of at the time was promiscuous imagery of Lamballe and the queen as lovers to further “besmirch” the queen’s reputation.

This is just obviously hinting at the aftermath of the French Revolutions and also telling us the present (at the time the letter was written). Mary gets executed by the Guillotine, and-well we all know how the rest of the story goes.

Overall, Mary’s deduction story is just a short summarization of what actually happened before and during the French Revolution: it even added the details of how actually sketchy and corrupt the royal family within was, not just the dissatisfaction of the public. As a summary of what this meant for Mary, as the Hunter, she feels pure bitterness, and anger towards the citizens for the way they treated her and the people around her. And as we can see, there was no reference towards Bloody Mary what-so-ever, and the reason why that is is because according to the Chinese version of IdV (which is what the original game’s region/language is) Her name actually would translate to “Madame Red”, not Bloody Queen. I think it was just the translators having fun with words, and since her design is very similar to that of what a person would think Bloody Mary looks like, i guess it made sense to them lol

But regardless, we’ll still take a look at Mary’s design.

Mary’s design is simple compared to other hunter designs in IdV. A simple, ball gown which was originally white, but turned red due to Mary’s beheading, pools of blood dropped all over her body. Mary also used to have long hair, but assumed by the very broken looking locks of hair, her hair probably was cut down by the guillotine. Eagle-eyed people will also take notice to her neck, which is stitched back onto the rest of her body, which the designers wanted to include really bad since its prevalent even in concept sketches as well:

Mary’s gameplay design is based solely on mythologies about Bloody Mary, however, which makes things kind of confusing, but i guess thats what idv excels at the most lol

anyway, you’ve reached the end! if you have read this far, thank you so much, i put so much effort and research into this and i hope people will make good use of it. I also hope i made you more interested in playing mary and/or the French Revolution, lol but thank you for reading this!!

references:

The Count of Artois and the Coming of the French Revolution by Vincent W. Beach

The Princesse de Lamballe; a biography by Hardy, B. C. (Blanche Christabel)

My history textbooks

And wikipedia lol

#identity v #bloody queen #mary #mary idv #idv #character analysis #maemade

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echodrops · 4 years

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I just read your post about shipping and energy and I finished it with an interesting question in mind. A los of the examples you use to defend the theory the "tension" Or energy beetwen the characters have some Interactions that could be consider "Toxic" Así a relationship, but because of that tensión that just make more fans ship it. Emotions of jelaously, hate, self worth bla bla. I would like to know your opinión on Toxic relationships on shipping and the difference (1/2?)

And the difference of how people Accept it depending if the ship is Slash or het. Dont get me wrong. What I try to exploin in My crappy English is that sometimes I have seen shippers calling Toxic and unhealthy het ships (I can give you plenty of examples) but at the same time drowning in feelings about the exact same concept on Slash. It can be domination, bickering, power dinamics etc. Please a dont send this ina negative context its just something I have notice (2/2)

No worries, I got you. I think your point is really valid and there are a lot of discrepancies in how people ship when it comes to het versus slash.

In this case, my answer to this has three different parts to it:

1) I am always very, very cautious about applying the term “toxic” to a fictional relationship because--and I am aware this is not a popular opinion to have on tumblr--I do see a clear distinction between fiction and reality. Can systemic, widespread efforts in media to normalize something have impacts on public perception? Sure. Japan’s thing for twelve-year-old girls in anime is fucked up, my dudes. But in terms of fictional relationships, would any sane person look at things like, say, a psychopathic villain and hero ship and go “Oh man, Sephiroth/Cloud is such relationship goals; can’t wait to find me a serial killer!”? “Yeah dude, I really hope my next girlfriend is a yandere who will stab me sixteen times in non-vital places for fun!” “I can’t wait to engage in armed combat with my evil boyfriend who has enslaved my best friends and won’t give them back unless I let the rest of the world perish!” ...said no real person ever. Lots of things happen in fiction that we--as readers and viewers--can fully appreciate would never be okay in the real world. (And yes, this does extend even to more realistic things like jealousy, bickering, bullying--I like Bakugou as a character, but I’d never be able to tolerate a person who acted like him in real life.)

I wholeheartedly believe that, outside of illegal things which should obviously be reported, each person has responsibility only for their own fandom experience, and I highly encourage people to make full use of the blocking and filtering features available in fandom spaces to avoid any content that makes them feel uncomfortable or any ships they find to be unhealthy.

So: My opinion on toxic ships is that virtually any ship in this world could be perceived as toxic by someone, and that the alternative--a world in which the ONLY ships we’re allowed to write about or draw or even just like are those which are perfectly healthy pure pure love-fests--sounds horrible to me.

2) Very few people ship without an endgame in mind. I can’t think of anyone who looks at two characters who absolutely hate each other and thinks “Wow, I can’t wait to write a 100,000 word fic in which their relationship does not evolve in the slightest and they end the story hating each other exactly as much as they did on Day 1!” JK, maybe I can, I was in the Durarara fandom, after all. When people ship “toxic” relationships, it is almost always with the idea of character growth and change in mind--the idea is “They are not healthy for each other now, but the whole point of my story or art is that they’ll become healthy for each other over time.” The power of love can heallll peopleeee.

Are the characters jealous of each other now, aggressive toward each other now, enemies right now? Obviously in the shipper’s mind, these are challenges that can be overcome in time by the characters learning and developing into better versions of themselves. Perhaps this is an overly optimistic worldview that leads people to make bad choices in real life--awful people in real life rarely change as much for the better as characters in fiction are capable of changing, but that’s the beauty of fiction: it doesn’t show us people as they are, but people as we wish they could be. We want to believe that the toxic pair of characters can find common ground and heal each other. That the people who are jealous of each other will instead come to appreciate each other by the end. That the misunderstandings will be cleared up. That mistakes will be forgiven. People typically aren’t shipping a toxic ship because they love toxicity--they’re shipping that relationship specifically because they see potential beyond that tension.

We typically ship with “happily ever after” in mind, with the understanding that the life is too hard and people too flawed for that road to always be an easy one.

3) I think you are right that there is a discrepancy in the way that people view het ships and slash ships; namely, there is a discrepancy between the way het ships and mlm ships are viewed.

There are probably a lot of long and complicated sociological explanations for this that someone with more research in the field could explain better, but my first thought on this is that the discrepancy is based primarily on how fans understand male and female dynamics versus male and male dynamics.

For example, society is coded strongly to view a man who hits, dominates, or is aggressive to a woman as a very, very bad guy. (Perhaps this is something widespread media depictions have normalized?) Whereas “dude kicks another guy’s ass” has a whole different connotation in modern views. It is certainly a double standard, and part of the reason that so many male victims of abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, etc. go ignored. Men are viewed as “too strong” to be victims; therefore, even many of the “wokest” fans can accept two male characters having a violent dynamic, when they would never accept that scenario between a male and female character.

That said, I think we also need to recognize that the way female characters are portrayed in media contributes to this problem. A preponderance of female characters in media are limited in what they can do and the situations they are allowed to engage in. As with BNHA, for example, “good” women are not allowed to be violent, jealous (other than over boys), aggressive, etc. Women are simply treated as not eligible for a wide variety of the dynamics that fictional men are written with. A male character having a superiority-inferiority complex over his also-male rival? Not surprising in the least. A male character having a superiority-inferiority complex over a female rival? Pshhh, yeah right. A female character bitterly jealous over a male character’s power, leadership, or skill? Surely she just admires his ability. Through a combination of misogyny and toxic masculinity, the stories themselves tell readers that unhealthy dynamics are commonplace and acceptable when they happen between two males, while “good” female characters should only be a source of healthy, supportive dynamics.

If we’re talking about unintended messages that writers send readers/viewers when it comes to character dynamics, this is definitely one of them!

tl;dr: Writers train their readers to expect and want certain things, but often do so carelessly or while unaware of the ways their own stereotypical societal views and cliche genre conventions will be taken and transformed by fandoms.

#shipping #shipping dynamics #female characters #writing stuff #echo answers asks #longpost

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the-jade-goblin · 6 years

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whats toxic about asrian? devs explained they were two adults who made mistakes and they're going to be endgame in a route. we dont know their whole story so it's a bit curious to say its toxic? just want to know your reasoning behind it. is it over the fandom's portrayal of it or?

i knew this question would come up. i shouldnt have to justify or explain myself to anyone, but since you asked politely i’ll explain

look, i do not care what the devs say about asrian. speaking as an abuse survivor, that relationship makes me extremely uncomfortable, and its very triggering for me. it reminds me very vividly of my last very abusive relationship, which makes it toxic to me.

just because the devs say it wasnt abusive, doesnt make it so. to use a phrase from a friend, would fifty shades of grey by any less abusive simply if the author claimed its not? no. its still an abusive piece of trash relationship.

the fact that is going to become endgame again frankly disgusts me bc those two are not good for each other, their relationship is not and cannot be healthy and they should be kept far away from each other, they’re unhealthy for each other and both of them only bring each other unhappiness.

i identify with julian very strongly, and in asrian i see my abuser in asra. julian, like me, is extremely insecure and vulnerable, possibly also suffering from mental illness, at least we know he is over-stressed, suffering from some form of ptsd and has been emotionally abused to the point where he literally cannot understand that he doesn’t hve to earn affection he can just have it, and he enjoys pain, the only thing he thinks he’s allowed to enjoy. that says to me something has happened in his past relationships to make him feel that way, and since asrian is the only past relationship we know about, im pointing the finger at asra.

they hate each other and were horrible to each other. and since asra is made to be in love with the apprentice at the same time is like an extra wtf on asra’s part bc why would you be having sex with someone you dont like while you’re in love with someone else for one thing, and asra did not have to enter that relationship with julian in the first place! he had a choice and he chose to hurt julian

julian is a vulnerable man, and yes he’s an adult and capable of making his own decisions bad or good but so is asra, and asra took advantage of that. whether he meant to or not is not the issue, i love asra but he hurt julian, rather badly, and julian in turn hurt asra. its a bad relationship

i’m now going to use a direct quote from a friend of mine who i wont disclose here bc i dont want any hate to get back to her but she puts it better than me

“if you know you don’t like someone and you’re just gonna hurt them why…have sex with them…why do that to your friend…….like I know Julian said yes and was pushy but Asra could have just. Kept saying no. He would’ve realized it was a No eventually.”

people can argue that julian consented all they want, it doesnt make it any less gross and it gives asra no right to do what he did. i consented in my relationship and it made it no less abusive what my ex did to me

im also tired of people, in this fandom especially, screaming over the top of people who dare to criticise their beloved fandom. you can like stuff while still criticising it people get woke.

this is not a hate on asra btw, i want to make that clear. i do love asra, i love all the cast besides the trash bag that is lucio, but i can still recognise that what he did in the past is wrong.

but people in this fandom have a tendancy to yell over the top of legitmate concerns, like the poc fans who were getting hate from those people insisting asra was white, and then getting more hate when the devs poor response wasnt good enough representation for them, the people who it directly affects and who know what theyre talking about but no the white fans have to yell over the top of them to shut up bc theyre being whiny.

i wont let people yell over the top of abuse survivors on this count. i dont care if the devs say asrian wasnt abusive, bc to me, it was and it is. if they didnt mean to portray it as abusive thats another matter, but people who are actual survivors saying that asrian reminds them directly of their experiences means something. we’re not saying this for fun, we’re not saying it to argue with the devs or people who like/ship asrian, we’re saying it to be heard and listened to.

whatever people want to ship, thats totally fine im cool with it whatever, but i dont and i wont find it anything other than toxic, abusive and uncomfortable.

if you like asrian, thats cool. im of a mind to let people ship whatever they like, i would never tell anyone they cant ship something just bc i find it uncomfortable, and i would prefer people give me the same courtesy and just tag stuff

#the arcana #anti-asrian #abuse mention #tw: abuse #unpopular opinion #Anonymous #fandom critical

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nayhootie · 5 years

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to my replacement

Cena,

This shit gotta stop lol. we both know what we’re BOTH doing is unhealthy for us. I’m not gonna sugarcoat or play good cop and say that I haven’t been stalkerish or creepy.

shit was difficult af to see. I have no idea what Ahmed’s true feelings are about me. (cuz I know his english and you clearly wrote that letter back to me lol) TBH he probably still hasn’t given himself time to heal from our heartbreak before he jumped into something else. I’m not saying you’re a distraction/rebound or that your feelings are invalid-bc I get it, I loved him too. you’re too busy falling in love to recognize the red flags-which early on become “the benefit of the doubt.”

bottom line is, we’re paying more attention to each other than he is to me. You’re paying more attention to me, than he is. read that again

RANT:

we’re donnnneee baby girl, like that shit will not resurface. we are in completely different states doing our own thing. what we had was fun it was nice-but i’m sure its not what you both have. bottom line is, he loves you. he couldn’t even do that much for me lmao! the real reason we broke up, is because he didn’t love me, he wasn’t man enough to tell me and he lied every time he said he loved me, it was so clear in his voice. he still wasn't man enough in that letter back to me lmao, and no I dont feel bad for shitting on your man. you’re blinded by what you want to see (NF: I WAS TOO!) The amount of pain I suffered because of him, only I will know. or my mom, sister who had to wipe my tears while I cried everyday for months. I don't know if you’ve gone through heartbreak. you’re with this person you love with all your heart, you still love him after 1 month of not speaking, but all of a sudden he’s with someone new. how is this possible? he invalidated my existence, he had no trust, and he was controlling and manipulative, and I was a dirty little secret (he hid me from his friends and family (: ). I questioned my self-worth in that relationship everyday, and after I had to go to bed every night thinking I wasn't enough just because he chose not to tell me he didn’t love me. he’s the one out here telling you that I was the toxic one, that I cheated! what? he’s over here ok with people (you) calling me a hoe when I gave him my soul, my purity, and my whole being.

he and I will never get closure, he will never give me the answers to my questions, but now I dont seek them anymore. now he’s just a person who in the end didnt give a fuck about me. but kudos to him, for being able to love someone else. bc for me, he was it. but he was able to love someone else without being broken from his past.

I guess this sounds hypocritical as fuck that im telling you to stop and be happy with him while my ass is still over here stalking you too. in all honesty, its hard not to--i’ve developed a habit. to see what he gave me up for, to see how all the things I wanted him to do for me, he did for someone else. I don't know you, you seem like a nice person, you rude to me tho (which makes sense), but i’m sure if you were my friend, we would be great friends. Its less about you, and more about him. to go through the emotional labor of dating and loving Ahmed was toxic as hell. he was a shitty as fuck boyfriend after I cleared the smoke he covered my eyes with, calling it protection and care.

and damn I pray to GOD that he treats you better than me, when our days were good they were GOOD but when they were bad, they were excruciating. I guess, take this letter as a warning. I know they say, when you choose to love something, love it with all your heart, but just be careful sis. I did the same and it took me a year to heal. and you, you can’t act the way you do toward someone you don’t know. you cant preach about being a good person, because the impression I have of you is not good. but who gives a fuck tho what I think of you lmao? it doesnt mattttterrrrr. the reason you keep watching my shit is because you think that im jealous, but in reality we’re jealous of each other. you want to come across as together and a strong female character, but your actions show you to be insecure. shiiiett im just hurt lol. all I can say is, let me know when y’all break up so we can be friends.

ultimately, I hope you forget about me. that I am even someone that is relevant to either of you because chances are, he’s forgotten about me more than you have.

wish you luck.

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aplaceforthesoul · 4 years

Text

Anonymous submitted:

hi,so ive been stuck in a 1 week depression episode and it started because of one bad grade, and now more stuff is piling on and making me miserable. one of my friends is always trying to annoy me because “im the only one who wont get annoyed” and they will do stuff that triggers my anxiety (poking me, hugging me, repeating things to me, and playing with my hair) ive asked them to stop multiple times but they wont listen. this has been going on for like a month and i think if i have to endure it any longer im going to snap on them. plus my friends have also been stressing me out since im still in school and am forced to see them every day. i really just want a break from all my friends as a whole for a bit but the school year only started like 2 months ago, so i have a while until summer break. basically, my friends are burning me out because their “dynamic” is being sarcastic and poking fun at each other. i cant get a new friend group either, all my friends are connected in one big group so if i leave them, ill be alone. the part thats really upsetting to me is that my best friend ever moved to japan during the summer, so i have to survive school without her, and as much as i pretend im not affected and am a-ok with it, im not. (hell, im crying while writing this, haha) nothing is the same anymore, and she was a really good person who was super positive, and i miss having a happy person like that. whether its my friends talking about relationship drama or even just saying “haha kill me rn” (literally like that), i just dont feel happy anymore. as a whole, theyve stressed me out to the point where theyre messing with my mental health. i just wanna know how to go back to being healthy and happy again instead of being surrounded by negativity all the time without cutting them off. sorry if that was too much, i kinda went off there

don’t be sorry friend, it’s all good! that’s what this place is for, I’m glad you were able to get all of this off your chest.

as hard as it might be? I think it’s best to break away from your ‘friends’ for a while, even if that means being alone and by yourself for a time. you’ve repeatedly told them to lay off actions / behaviours that upset you, and they haven’t listened? \: I know you mentioned that you don’t wanna cut them off, but why do you want to continue to have people around that don’t respect you or genuinely care about you? people who are actual friends bring you up, they care about you, they’re just...nice to you haha. these people sound sarcastic and negative and unhealthy for you to be around at the moment, I can deffs understand the ‘burnt-out’ feeling and it’s only going to keep building up.

break away from them for a while, spend time by yourself and doing things that make you happy. maybe spend time at home practising yoga (good for the mind), listen to lots of 1D if that’s your kinda music, have a solo dance party in your room with your favourite energetic music, maybe spend some time drawing if that’s something you enjoy doing. when you’re at school? spend time in the library instead, or on the school oval, anywhere private that you can just spend time chilling for a bit without interruption. there’s only no shame at all in spending time by yourself at school -- and I wish someone had told me that when I was younger!! I had a toxic group of friends when I was at school as well and I was too afraid of breaking away from them and being called a ‘loner” but honestly? who tf cares what others think! you’re making a choice that’s best for you and your mental health, you’re making a choice to spend time away from negative and sarcastic people, and that can only be a good thing. other people might not know this and they have nothing better to do than make fun of others? but that’s a reflection on them, not you.

so break away from this friendship group for a while, spend time by yourself doing things you enjoy. maybe make it a goal to meet some new people outside of school? :) if you’re old enough you could try looking for a part-time job, you could try using the website www.meetup.com or looking at what’s happening at your local community centre and signing up to a few activities (being apart of an activity or community that you enjoy can help you to meet like-minded people and build happier friendships).

breaking away from your friends at school might not happen overnight, but it’s worth it. take time to focus on yourself and your happiness, make conscious choices to do things that make you feel happy and content, take it one day at a time.

if you want to be happy and healthy, but you flat-out refuse to cut ties with them? the only other option is to have a very honest and blunt conversation with them, be very straight-forward and don’t mince words haha. be clear with expressing how you feel, make it clear that how they’re treating you isn’t a joke or just “annoying”, it’s now gotten to the point of being upsetting and messing with your mental health. hopefully they listen? if not, then cutting ties and breaking away from them is the only option left. all the best lovely xxx

- tash

#advice #submission #friends #toxic #negative #sarcastic

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sasaparilla101 · 7 years

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3) So i talked to him about it and he asked for my forgiveness and started to give me compliments since..but i never trust him on that D: i stalked all the girls he used to compliments and its making me feel more terrible bcs i always think of the bad things he used to do with all the girls :( our r/s has reached 2 years and i still couldnt forgive what he did to me.. i dont know what to do sasa.. i wanna feel good about myself since other people cant help me on that.. (cont'd..)

i understand i understand, i would too :(

but how is he treating u tho? does he treat u like an angel? makes u feel loved and cares for u like u’re his baby girl? or the thing with the girls is the only thing bothering u?

but i assume that u still want to make this relationship work and at the same time work on yourself, am i right? do correct me if I’m wrong.

but if yes, then, i think u two need to sit down and really communicate u know. communication is honestly the best best and most important thing. like firstly, like i asked u, did u open up to other guys when u had those crushes? or any sort of things? because there must be a reason why ur boyfriend did that. like it’s kinda like a defence mechanism u know (tho it’s childish). maybe he did that because he’s the insecure one. like he wants to show u cam ‘oh u got guys i got girls too’ u know? those ego things. and we will never know, unless u sit down in front of him, and just ask. just ask. let him be open and be honest.

but on the contrary, if he has a habit at complementing girls and looking at other girls, fan girling over other girls while he is in a relationship, then frankly, he’s not ready to be in a serious relationship.

but considering back to when u said he had a darker past with girls, well then maybe old habits die hard. but trust me, doesnt mean if the guy had a bad past, he can’t change. he can if he has found the right girl. trust me. really trust me. so now, it depends on what ur boyfriend has explained to u, maybe he’s trying to change? did he told u that he wants to change? not just stop, but change. change for the better and grow into a man. u really need to have a proper talk with him, let your heart out be 100% honest and vice versa. and if he’s motivated to be better then u have to let him. u need to give him the space to grow and a chance to prove himself. this is ur part, to grow too. being able to trust again after getting beaten up so many times, is a sign of maturity and not a weakness. i know it’s hard to trust him and to forgive but u need to know whats in his heart in order for u to do so. and thats on him. he needs to talk to u, prove to u, not just in words but in his actions. and if he’s a different guy now, if he’s not doing the things he used to do, be proud of him. u’re his girlfriend, lover and his best friend, help him to grow and don’t pull him down with his past. praise his achievements and compliment him, make him feel like he’s the king of the world. because something in me tells me that he’s new in all these relationship business and he needs to be shown how to. literally kill him with kindness. walk in the car, stare at him, and just go like ‘mann aren’t u a handsome boy’. treat him like u wanted to be treated so he’ll learn from u cause sometimes boys are dumb af hahaha. but before all that, just clear every single thing off, sit down and talk with him.

one thing about other girls, just note that, if he wanted the other girls, he wouldn’t be with u now. so theres a reason why he’s still with u even after 2 years. so screw them, u won. it’s just u and him. girl, he loves u but he’s just dumb (sorry) (sikit je) (because he is) (hehe). anyways, like i said, ask him about it let him explain to u about it, once u know the true intentions, once u truly understand him, u’ll feel better and u’ll gain more trust. and he needs to do that to gain ur trust. if he doesn’t have any effort in this then it’s not worth it.

give yourself a break alright? i know u need one. just firstly, talk to him, clear things off. secondly, focus on yourself, build yourself, have a diary make a journal, go out alone, go to theatres go do things u love, run at 6am. just do u. and fall in love with u. make urself busy. trust me u’ll feel good.thirdly, detachment. fill up ur time with necessary things, don’t just sit and stare at ur phone waiting for his name to show up or stalking or anything. and do more of number 2. (i sometimes have been so attached that it’s toxic to myself, like i can’t function without him and that is so so so unhealthy. so sometimes i just have to sit down, zone out, and just reflect on myself and build myself back up) we do fall. but it’s how we rise that matters. so now it’s your time to shine :)and lastly, pamper urself. u went through enough crap so now shower urself with chocolates and diamonds. go get ur hair done, facial, spend ur money, anything. idk u deserve it. if u’re not doing it then i’ll do it for u.

and last lastly, always remind urself that we are young. i know i sound like a mom but we are. if u don’t want to marry him then don’t date him (a simple rule i always tell myself) and u always have to rights to leave. and I’m just saying this because i only know 2% of it, i idk if it’s abusive or anything u know. so from a girl to a girl, don’t settle for anything less. u deserve nothing but the best. but if this is it, then fight for it.

for a girl to a girl part 2 :

- if 90% of the time u’re sad and unhappy, leave.- if he cheats on u, leave.- if he flirts with other girls, leave. - if he’s abusive, leave.- if he threatens u, leave.- if he makes u feel scared > secured, leave.and the list goes on. u get the memo right, not everything is worth fighting for. we’re still single we can still choose, we don't want to end up in domestic violence or anything on the same page.

but if he treats u right, be loyal, communicate well and work together to make ur relationship strong.

hope to hear from u soon, xoxo.

ur virtual girlfriend, sasa.

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