#lilistay

[lilistayskz]

OMG YOU GUYS :') Yesterday, O Serpent Heart reached 3k hits, and last night What It Is To Burn hit 11k!!! I'm so beyond thankful and excited and happy!!! I hope you continue to read and love Bokkie and Noona as much as I do!!!

#felix x reader #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #felix x noona #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #lilistay #ao3feed #archive of our own #fan fiction #fanfic #what it is to burn #stray kids #skz fanfic #im soooo happy

[lilistayskz]

“How are you so perfect?” asks perfection herself, running her fingertips gently over my belly. “You're an angel, Yongbok. A literal angel, sent from heaven, just for me.” 

We’re lying here in Chan hyung’s bed, sweaty and breathless, me and my Noona. She’s been making googly eyes at me nonstop, even with my dick in her mouth. It’s the most adorable, heartwarming thing in the whole world; I still can’t believe she’s my girlfriend. After kissing my stomach one last time, she slithers up my body and wraps her arms around my neck, crushing me with her body weight.

“I think you might be the angel,” I mumble into her hair. We’re taking a break - okay, I’m taking a break; she’s sucked me so dry that I almost cried the last time I orgasmed - and now we’re just talking for a little while, I guess. “I’m the spawn of Satan himself. Every day I wake up and wonder why you love me like you do.” 

So this is paradise. She could be with anyone else, literally anyone, but she’s chosen to give herself to me. Two months ago, I cried myself to sleep, desperate for her love, terrified of a life without her. Now, she’s holding me, kissing me, wanting me.

How can this be real? 

“Do you know I prayed for you before you were born?” she whispers, tracing my bottom lip with her thumb. God, when she says things like that… my heart twists in a way that can't be healthy. She squeezes my cheeks in her hands and leans in to kiss me cutely. I smile up at her, at her hair falling down, her bright eyes roaming my face, and I know I’m right - if one of us is an angel, it’s Noona.

O Serpent Heart - Chapter 10

#felix x reader #skz smut #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #ao3feed #archive of our own #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #felix x noona #reasons and excuses #o serpent heart #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

O Serpent Heart just made it to 3000 hits! I don't have anyone to tell in my personal life lol so I'm hoping you will celebrate with me!

#skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #lilistay #ao3feed #archive of our own #fan fiction #fanfic #felix x reader #o serpent heart

[lilistayskz]

Killing/Stalking - my favorite manhua

#killing stalking #lilistay

[lilistayskz]

Beneath the band-aid, there's a clean, inch long split. I must have hit the floor hard when I fainted - I’m going to have a little scar there; like a secret no one will know but him and me. 

The thought of it is almost thrilling. I can’t tattoo his name on me (yet), but I can decorate my body with scrapes and scratches and scars, each one a violent testament to the precious little god that loves me. In a completely healthy way, my mind is starting to equate pain and pleasure in regards to Yongbok - I wonder how many more scars I can acquire before people start to notice.

As Shakespeare wrote: These violent delights have violent ends.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

O Serpent Heart - Chapter 12

#new chapter #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #ao3feed #archive of our own #felix x reader #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #o serpent heart #reasons and excuses #fanfiction #skz fanfic #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

I saw this pic on a Manga subreddit and thought it looked mighty Seungminnie ^

Anyways, here is a tiny baby sneak peek of the next chapter of O Serpent Heart :) featuring Deftones

Good times for a change See, the life I've had can make a good man bad So please, please, please Let me get what I want Lord knows it would be the first time

Seungmin rolls his eyes and reclines in his lawn chair, waving the joint in the air. “I’ve only been gone for like one day. Why is everybody acting like that’s something crazy?” 

Chan’s neck veins bulge. “Because you disappeared then decided to pop back up and bludgeon a stranger at a party –”

“That was one time –”

“That was just now. Oh my God. Give me that.” Chan snatches the blunt from Seungmin’s fingers, stubs it out and drops it into his cigarette pack. My lip trembles; I didn’t even get to hit it. “You can have it back when I’m satisfied.”

Aching despair. We could be out here for hours. Our hyung is lighting his second cigarette, the third already held between his left knuckles. He’s pissed.

“Do you have any idea,” Chan rumbles, pointing his second cigarette straight at Seungmin’s face, “who you sent to the hospital tonight? Do you?”

#sneak peek #o serpent heart #skz smut #lilistay #ao3 fanfic #smoke weed everyday #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

When Yongbok slips into Chan’s room and shakes me softly just after the horrific sound of Berry murdering a small animal rips me from my dreams of him, I know something else must be amiss - his eyebrows are way up in his hairline, and he’s smiling with all of his teeth.

“Hey, Noona-bug?” he whispers soothingly, his little hands resting on his knees to bend over into my face. “Are you wakin’ up? Okay, good, that’s good. Yeah, so - don’t panic - but Channie thinks people might come here to kill Seungmin, and it’s a good idea if we aren’t here if that… happens to happen. So we’re going to relocate, okay?”

I blink probably thirty times before his words sink in, but when they do, they still make no sense. “Wh-huh?”

“We need,” he explains sweetly, smile wide, eye twitching, “to leave.”

O Serpent Heart - Chapter 15

#new chapter #o serpent heart #chapter update #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #lilistay #skz smut #ao3feed #archive of our own #fan fiction #fanfic #felix x reader #felix x noona #noona #reasons and excuses #stray kids fanfic #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

Bokkie huffs and turns to me when I roll up his window. “This sucks, Noona,” he whines. “I knew one of these fools was going to ruin our date night. Did I have ‘Seungmin Assassination Attempt’ on my BINGO card? Not exactly, but it was always gonna be something. It always fucking is.”

“It’ll be okay,” I try to reassure him. Seungmin being in trouble is not new, but if Yongbok’s recap of Seo Yunho’s phone call is any indication, he may have really got himself in a pickle. “Maybe he can stay at our house with you and Jisung for a while. You like sleepovers.”

“Yeah, but Noona,” he whines again, “we had plans for today. I was gonna… I wanted to…” His hands grab invisible boobies and he grumbles. I can't help but laugh at him, over there pouting as hard as I've ever seen. Of course my cherub has a devil’s tail. He’s not really worried about Seungmin’s safety at all, only that we lost five extra hours we could have been fooling around today in Chan’s empty house.

#sneak peek #18+ content #o serpent heart #reasons and excuses #felix x noona #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #lilistay #ao3feed #archive of our own #fan fiction #fanfic #felix x reader #work in progress #skz felix #skz #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

“Are you cold, Noona?” Yongbok asks, unzipping his jacket before I can answer. I’m already wearing a sweater; if I put that jacket on, I’m going to have a heat stroke.

“No, baby.” I stop his hand mid-zip and sigh. If he’s going to look at me like that every time I touch his hand, I’m going to throw myself off the pier right now. The deep crimson and purple sky washes across his face, setting tiny diamonds in his eyes, and they’re sparkling up at me from beneath the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen.

The term star-crossed lovers passes through my brain. He’s so beautiful. I wish I could be everything he thinks I am, everything he wants me to be, but I can’t. It’s not allowed.

Not yet, I think, but one day.

What It Is To Burn - Chapter 7

#skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #ao3feed #archive of our own #felix x reader #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #what it is to burn #reasons and excuses #lee yongbok #skz yongbok #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

“It’s all the time, Noona.” He sighs, murmuring into the darkness. “I could be having breakfast with Mom and my brain will go, fuck Noona in her sleep, she won’t wake up, and I know that… that’s not normal. Right?”

O Serpent Heart - Chapter 11

#new chapter #chapter update #o serpent heart #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #ao3feed #archive of our own #felix x reader #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction #reasons and excuses #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

Introduction

Hello everyone. I am Lili - you can find me at lilistay on AO3. I am a millennial from Texas. My pronouns are she/her. I like to write sad, angsty, fluffy, nasty smut. My bias changes depending on my mood, but I will always love Lee Felix.

Important Links:

Reason and Excuses - the compendium of Yongbok x Noona stories. Warning: Underage; Graphic Depictions of Violence; Drug Use; Explicit Sexual Content; and many more.

This is a story of forbidden love between a teenage Lee Yongbok and his best friend Han Jisung's adult sister, known only as Noona.

What It Is To Burn - Part One, told from Noona's perspective (complete) These Things I've Done - Part Two, consisting of SKZ side povs (in progress) O Serpent Heart - Part Three, told from Yongbok and Noona's perspectives (in progress)

OC Character Introductions (beware, possible spoilers): Seo Yongsun Seo Yunho

#felix x reader #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #ao3feed #archive of our own #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #reasons and excuses #what it is to burn #these things ive done #o serpent heart

[lilistayskz]

It’s like nothing makes sense in my head anymore. Two hours ago, I would never have even considered Yongbok in that way. I love him more than my own brother (please don’t tell him I said that), more than anyone really, but there was never a moment when I looked at him with lust or desire… until today. 

Or did I? Did I do this to him? Have my real feelings always been beneath some sort of sisterly cloak, a shadow lurking behind every embrace? Have I been poisoning him with little kisses lately, when I knew that they made him hard by the way he’d hide afterward, embarrassed? 

I did it anyway. I wanted to do it. I liked having him follow me like a puppy, only seeking my arms, my lips - it was a clear indication to everyone that he belonged to me.

Or am I overreacting? Can we just move forward and pretend tonight didn’t happen?

What It Is To Burn - Chapter 3

#felix x reader #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #ao3feed #archive of our own #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #reasons and excuses #what it is to burn #Spotify

[lilistayskz]

the next chapter of O Serpent Heart will be a little delayed. I went to the #Sessanta tour for Maynard James Keenan's 60th birthday last night and got way too lit lol. I will post a preview when I'm not dying

#ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #lilistay #o serpent heart #Ugh bourbon hangover

[lilistayskz]

“I’m not doing this shit anymore.” Chan watches quietly as I throw my bloody rag in the sink and begin to scrub my hands with scalding hot water and stupidly expensive soap - the metal holder for which is still lying in a bouquet of blood near the ornate bathtub. “He wants to graduate early? Fine. Move away? Fine. Maybe I’ll finally have some goddamn peace in my life. Good riddance.” 

“Jinnie,” Chan says softly. “Give yourself some time to decompress. I know Seungmin messed up tonight. It wasn’t cool, and I’ll talk to him about it, I promise. Just… don't do something you might regret.”

He sets a hand on my shoulder, but it’s not comforting. I feel like his big arm is holding me down, rooting me to the spot. What utter bullshit. Why do I always have to be the bigger man, the one who turns his other cheek, who is constantly told to calm down, to keep the peace?

“I don’t care what you do, hyung,” I say, and I mean it. “I’m so tired of being a good brother, a good son, a good guy. Fuck this, fuck you, and fuck Kim Seungmin.”

O Serpent Heart - Chapter 13

#new chapter #chapter update #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3feed #archive of our own #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin #seungjin #bang chan #Spotify #reasons and excuses #o serpent heart

[lilistayskz]

Hey 👋

Can you give sneek peak of your next chapter on Tumblr????pls🤗

Hi!! Ooh I'm so happy to have an Ask.

Let's see... the next chapter of O Serpent Heart. I wanted to continue OSH as Noona/Yongbok pov only, but I've come to feel that

I don't really want to make a part 4 with simultaneous skz povs like I did with What It Is To Burn and These Things I've Done. It is hard to keep pieces in the right spots.

OSH will benefit greatly by fleshing out the rest of the kids stories in time with Noona/Bokkie’s journey.

So the next chapter of OSH will follow Hyunjin through his bad night at Giselle’s Halloween party. Here is a snippy snip, featuring music by Pierce the Veil.

“Jinnie.” He whispered my nickname, Other Seungmin, with his left hand over my mouth, his right desperately unbuttoning my pajama pants. I just laid there, not helping, not fighting… just limp. Tired. Empty. Open.

He never made me touch him; usually it was his fingers wrapping around me in the dark, his voice offering false love and security, his body becoming the weapon of my molestation. I wanted it. I always wanted it.

But God, did it hurt. 

“Mmm.” I breathed through my nose as his palm tightened around my mouth. We couldn't risk waking up Jeongin, but I knew Seungmin wouldn't stop until he was satisfied. He would keep me silent with his own hands. 

#sneak peek #ao3fic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3feed #lilistay #archive of our own #fan fiction #fanfic #seungjin #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin #reasons and excuses #o serpent heart

[lilistayskz]

He trails off. The bully is nowhere to be seen, not that I can see much. Shit, I think my nose is broken. My knees finally give out and I slump to the ground, back to the rough brick wall. I'm too tired and embarrassed to do much else. 

Minho seats himself beside me, wiping his forehead on his white undershirt. I look down at my own clothes - I'm covered in blood, but it’s mostly mine. I’m still scared of what may have happened to Felix. Oh my God, Noona’s going to kill me.

I feel pathetic, so I sniffle pathetically. 

"Hey, now," Minho says lightly. He removes his flannel overshirt and uses it to wipe my face as I cry. "You go to my school right? What’s your name?" he asks kindly, sending me into an existential spiral.

Of course he doesn't know my name. I burst into tears again and it startles him. I really fucked this up - he’s gonna hate me, I think, but I manage to sob out half a sentence. "M-my n-n-name is H-Han J-J- " 

Fuck, I can’t even speak properly. I'm mortified, hiding my head in my arms, knees to my chest as I fall silent. What is wrong with me? Maybe it’s better if he doesn’t know my name. Minho sits quietly at my side for a moment.

Then he pats my head, grazing his fingers through my hair as I shake against the wall. I look up and see him smiling over at me - 

Oh. Everything feels better; the sharp pain in my gut is dulled, the pounding in my head subsides. I grasp the flannel to my face when he offers it again. What a fucking day, dude. A satisfied hum falls from Minho’s lips as I rub my bloody cheeks with his shirt.

"I'll just call you Hannie, then," he says, his fingers still in my hair.

These Things I've Done - Chapter 7

#skz smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #ao3 writer #ao3feed #archive of our own #lilistay #fan fiction #fanfic #reasons and excuses #these things ive done #minsung #lee minho #han jisung #minho x jisung #Spotify