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rosemary-morgan · 8 months

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Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 4) 18+

(Pictures found on pinterest/google. That one with Javier is mine. Collage made by me 🌺)

Many thanks to @fangirl-ramblings 🖤 she has been beta reading for me 🌹

The 4 Part is online 🥰 thanks to all who read and like my story 🐝🌺 I hope you will enjoy the this chapter too!

Tag list: @fangirl-ramblings @rose-of-black-blood @livingdeadgirly @coaxium-captain-rex @12timetraveler @butterballchannie @charlesjaviersimp @ashethesimp @planetahmane @snoowply @sylum @noodle-tm @karmashatty @nadnad09 @lill2350 @slightlyexpiredyogurt8 @natnuszsstuff @boniscute @books-arebetterthan-boys @pedropascalluvr69 @blackrosegarden6 @sie-werden-nie-vergessen @inlovewithjavierescuella

If anyone of you want to be tagged to not miss the newest chapter, please let me know 🙏 If you want me to take you off the list, please tell me

And sorry if there are errors with the Spanish words. Please tell me if so. Thanks 🖤

👉Read part 1 / part 2 / part 3

Warning: Nsfw 18+! Very erotic stuff y'all, trigger moments, angst

Summary: The love between you had never stopped and your nights are now again marked by passion. But there is a dark secret that you can not tell Javier. Not yet, for it would break his heart. Now that you had found each other again, you didn't want to risk it all. But he has a right to know…

Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 4) 18+

You still couldn't believe that Javier was standing in front of you. Just when you were about to throw all your hopes overboard, a small miracle happened. Javier's eyes sought your gaze and you could clearly see that he was afraid of your reaction. He was very tense, but how could you refuse him now? After you had so ardently wished that he would come and see you?

"I… um, Y/N, listen, I know… this…"

The words were stuck in his throat, because he really didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to find the right words either?

"I needed to see you, Y/N… But… I understand if you have finally lost your patience with me. I understand if…"

You approached him without words and the next moment you threw yourself into his arms. Full of relief, he closed his eyes, his arms immediately wrapped around your body and he hugged you tightly. He immediately buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. God, how he had missed your lovely scent!

"Javier…"

Your voice trembled as you whispered his name. Your hands clawed desperately at his raven black hair as your tears ran unstoppably down your face. You heard Javier sigh softly, followed by a quiet sob before he swallowed.

"Y/N… I'm sorry…" he whispered against your neck and you could feel his tears wetting your skin. His warm, strong body nestled against yours made you feel safe and secure.

You looked straight into his eyes as he took hold of your tender face and begged you again to forgive him.

"Lo siento mucho, Y/N!"

His cheeks grew quite warm, the tears ran inexorably down his face. So much pain, so much sorrow and regrets were on his face. Too many emotions to cope with.

"I have caused you so much grief."

But instead of facing him with anger and hatred, you just smiled through tears. The time for scorn was long gone and everything you wanted, you now had. Your dearest Javier had returned.

Gently you placed your hands on his, your lips were so close, you could feel each other's warm breath.

"I've only ever thought of you, Javier. All these years…"

And that was when Javier couldn't take it anymore and without warning, he kissed her. Instantly, your knees went all soft, blissful lap through your whole body.

"How could I ever forget you?" whispered Javier, before kissing you longingly again, brushing the strands of your hair from your face.

Words of love filled your house and every single word came from the depths of your soul. From two people who had suffered immensely without the other. Neither of you ever wanted to be apart again.

"Te quiero! Te quiero mucho, Y/N! Yo nunca dejé de amarte!"

And you had never stopped loving him either. This moment seemed like a beautiful dream and you were so afraid of letting go of Javier. You were afraid that this beautiful moment could burst like a soap bubble. It wouldn't be bearable for you a second time.

"I love you, Javier."

Desperately you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and Javier held you tightly, enveloping you with his arms like the wings of an angel.

Suddenly he knelt in front of you, wrapped his arms around your middle and he pressed his face against your stomach, sighing heavily and you could feel that he was trembling. Javier could do nothing, his tears would not end. You lovingly stroked his black hair. Good God, how much time you had lost… how much had been taken from you…

When Javier looked up to you, his eyes were filled with warmth and trust. As his warm hands laid on your tender arms, you suddenly felt hot and deepest excitement shot through your body. His touch felt so damn good and you closed your eyes for a moment, your heart pounding like crazy.

"Javier…"

"Y/N…"

Javier whispered your name, rising from his spot. He stood close to you, his warm breath brushing your cheek. His hands squeezed your arms and you gasped, closing your eyes. A lustful sigh escaped your lips as Javier gently pressed your body against his.

"The nights were so cold… so lonely without you, mi rosa…" he whispered hoarsely against your lips and you thought you would lose your mind at any moment. Between your legs was tingling like crazy and you wanted, no, you needed his touch, his lips, his body…

His lips gently brushed your cheek and you could hear how aroused he was too.

"I've dreamed of this moment so many times, Y/N," Javier groaned in your ear and he closed his eyes, breathing in your seductive scent, burying his face in the crook of your neck with a deep sigh. Carefully you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting the wave of pleasure take you for good.

"The warmth of your body, the taste of your lips… I almost went crazy without you…"

His fingers ran over your arms as he said this.

"Javier…"

As his hand gently touched your cheek, you leaned into his touch. Javier had always been tender and you had missed that feeling so much. His beautiful eyes took in every little detail of your face. Your shapely lips, the long lashes and your eyes that shimmered with tears.

"Your touches, your kisses…. I missed them so much, Javier…"

And that was never to be again, Javier had told himself. Yet when your lips met, your kiss instantly ignited like a fire. Javier reached for the hem of your dress, pushing it up, his hand roaming over your bare thigh. You were wearing long white stockings, fastened with a small bow to hold to your thigh. His fingers gently clawed into your firm flesh, full of desire for you. He had always had a weakness for long stockings and he liked the idea of stripping you down to them and making love to you.

His lips detached from yours, rather he let his mouth slide over your throat. Moaning softly, you let your head fall back, enjoying this erotic moment.

"Ahh… Javier…" Your hands claw into his hair as Javier greedily tasted the skin on your throat, gently biting into your flesh…

♦♦♦♦

His beautiful, naked body resembled stunning marble; firm and strong, slender and desirous. His hands slid under the hem of your undergarment that covered your trembling body. Inch by inch he pushed it up, over your waist and stomach, until he had freed your beautiful breasts. Rosy nipples tightened under his gaze. His eyes grew dark with desire and Javier couldn't believe his luck. You lay before him, in the flesh. Beautiful and desirable!

After he had removed your undergarments, he carelessly threw it aside and you lay in the soft sheets dressed only in your white, long stockings. Biting your lips gently, you looked up at Javier, giving him a glimpse between your legs as you opened them for him. You could hear him inhale deeply, trembling with excitement.

"Oh, querida…"

Did you realize how crazy you were driving him? How much he desired you? His hands covered your tits, pressing them together. He lifted them to his lips as he lowered his head and his hair slid over your oversensitive, heated skin, while his mouth swallow one of the stiff nipples, kissing it first and then circling it with his tongue, making you moan with pleasure.

Javier continued, covering your other tit with tender bites. You squirmed helplessly, wishing he would lick your hot, throbbing pussy. To kiss it and give it the attention it needed right now. You could barely stand it anymore, so your hand slipped between your legs and you started caressing yourself. Javier noticed this immediately and he had to grin, rather he let your nipple slide out of his mouth with a smack. Slowly, he slid down on your body. Grabbing your hips, he lifted your hips to finally taste your sweet little pussy after such a long time. Completely captivated by your scent, Javier closed his eyes for a moment and breathed it in. You desperately whispered his name as you felt infinite pleasure at that moment. His tongue parted your folds, swapping between them and finding your clitoris. Slowly, ever so slowly, Javier circled the small, pulsating center of your desire. He alternated licking and sucking on you until he heard you lustfully call his name. It was like a sighing plea to finally take you.

Deeply his tongue plunged into your tight, wet opening, fucking you in a delicious way and you thought you were going to lose your mind.

"Javier…!"

Clutching at the pillow, you threw your head to the side, moaning with pleasure as your inner thighs began to quiver.

Your breasts rose and fell with each breath and Javier's dark eyes, looked up at you. He enjoyed the sight of your beautiful body, the expression of pure bliss on your face. His tongue ran in circular motions over your clit, sometimes faster and then slower. You could barely stand the feeling and you suppressed a loud moan, pressing the back of your hand to your mouth. "Oh my god… ahhh…"

"Ahh… Y/N…"

Javier encircled your swollen pearl and he started sucking on it, stroking your thighs with his hands and as you reached into his hair, a deep growl came from his throat. His cock was perfectly hard and erect, pre-cum dripping from its tip, sliding slowly down his shaft. He could hardly stand it anymore, becoming more energetic in his actions as he also slid his fingers into your opening to fuck you with his fingers.

Briefly Javier had to swallow your nectar to continue and before you could think any further you came with a lustful moan, your back arching and Javier holding you tightly to his mouth so you could ride out your orgasm.

"Mi rosa… you are so beautiful…" he whispered, breathing a kiss on your inner thigh before sliding up to you, his warm, toned body resting on yours.

Javier grabbed his cock and made circular motions with the tip on your clit.

"Look at me, sweetheart…" he whispered, gently turning your face towards him and when you opened your eyes, Javier could see the tears in them. But he could tell that you were just happy at the moment.

"I want to look at you when I make love to you…"

"Javier…"

His words were as sweet as honey, his touches and kisses gentle as a bird's wings.

As his hand sought yours to intertwine your fingers, he guided his cock to your wet opening and you instantly took him in. With a deep, lustful moan on both sides, you looked into each other's eyes, saw the lust in each other's faces. A beautiful and very intimate moment for you.

You clawed almost desperately at his masculine back, almost as if you were afraid he might be taken from you again. But Javier felt the same way. The thought of letting you go again was out of the question for him.

"Mi amor… I love you…"

Your pussy was like velvet and you were hot and so wet… Javier thought he was losing his mind. He began to thrust himself inside you. Slowly at first, for he savored being so deep inside you. His throbbing cock filled you completely. "Ahh… you are so tight and so hot…. hssst… ahhh…" he moaned against your ear and he bit your earlobe. His voice had gone a notch deeper and darker and that made your body tremble with pleasure. His lips kissed your mouth as he moved rhythmically inside you and his scent clouded your senses. He smelled of leather, spicy lavender and tobacco…

The sound of his balls smacking against your wetness filled the room. Enveloped by your scent and your husky, lustful sounds, and after more powerful thrusts from Javier, he felt that he was about to climax and you too felt yourself tingling intensely between your legs. When his hand slipped between your bodies to caress your clit, your climax overtook you. Your body arched lustfully towards Javier and you clawed at his strong arms, seeking help, driving him crazy with the sight of your beautiful body. And finally he squirted his seed deep into your soft pussy, growling lustfully and closing his eyes as he thrust into you, trembling while riding out his climax.

You clung to each other in the soft sheets of your bed, enjoying this precious moment. Panting heavily, you lay on top of each other and Javier had his arms wrapped tightly around your body. You felt so desired, so loved… you had the feeling that you would always find protection in his arms. When his eyes searched your gaze, you smiled lovingly at him and Javier covered your face with tender kisses. Gently he kissed your cheek, your chin, your nose, your eyelids and finally your seductive mouth.

The two of you stayed like that for a few moments; foreheads resting together and looking into each other's eyes, not wanting to lose the feeling of the other. This was a special moment for both of you….

♦♦♦♦

"Where have you been all these years, Javier?" you asked softly as you rested against his chest. It was such a pleasant silence that surrounded you both. The sun's rays fell directly on their naked bodies, mentioning you. The young man gently stroked your arm as he looked up at the ceiling, thinking about where best to start. He had been through a lot in the last five years, had made bad decisions. But after the decline of the gang, he too had been lost. For Javier, everything had been hopeless then.

"I was lost, mi rosa. I had made many, wrong decisions."

You listened to him, snuggling even closer to his chest, gently running your fingers over his skin.

"After the decline, I got into one shit situation after another. I didn't… didn't care about anything anymore, you know? I stole, killed to survive. I was just a shadow of my former self."

You could understand him well, and you knew Javier. He had a guilty conscience for all those things, but they were in the past now and you had to let them rest sometime. You were lucky to have Abigail and John as support. Otherwise, you would have been in a bad way after Micah and Dutch brought everyone to ruin.

"But I was given another chance. And this man is really like a father to me. He's given me a lot, shown me a lot."

He was talking about his boss, who had finally persuaded him to seek you out.

Curiously you looked up at him and when you saw Javier smile you knew everything was right. Giving you a kiss on the forehead, he sighed contentedly.

" I'm very happy that you live in this beautiful place, Y/N. I'm happy that you're doing well and living a good life."

Tears came to your eyes at his words. It had been half a life without him, but his words touched you. It only confirmed how much he loved you.

"Without Abigail and John, I don't think I would have made it as easily as I did."

Javier was now very curious when you mentioned their name. Javier often thought of John.

"They were supportive of me, Javier. I was with them for almost two years until finally I was able to build my own life."

But there was one thing you didn't mention. A trauma that you hadn't really dealt with until today, and if Javier found out, it would break his heart. Only Abigail, John and little Jack knew about that. Something that had shaken you all to the core. You immediately shook off that thought, because it wasn't time to tell Javier yet. Was there even a time for it?

"I'm just glad we found each other again, darling," you whispered as you nestled your face into the crook of his neck and took a deep breath of his scent.

"I love you, Y/N."

His arms wrapped protectively around you and neither of you had the intention to stand up. Time seemed to have stopped for you.

You had been stranded, left by the wayside and yet, your lives had moved forward. Javier had managed to get his life together, just like you. You both earned your money with hard work and you were proud of it. You were more grown up, had realized at some point that life as an outlaw was not a romantic affair. No one knew better than you, because you had gone through it…

♦♦♦♦

You stood in the kitchen, your thoughts giving you no peace. A bit nervously you chewed your thumb, looking out of the window, lost. Dark clouds were gathering, the thunder was already rumbling in the distance.

"Is everything all right, honey?"

You seemed a bit sad this morning and Javier wondered what the reason could be. There was indeed a reason, but you couldn't talk about it. At least not yet. You had just found each other and you didn't want a shadow to be cast over your love.

"Yes. I'm just a little sick to my stomach."

Loving as Javier was, he gently stroked your cheek and smiled encouragingly at you.

"You should lie down for a bit. Drink some chamomile tea, that will calm your stomach."

You gave him a warm smile, rather kissing him tenderly.

"Maybe you're right."

"I have to go now. My client doesn't like to wait."

"Okay, Javi. I'll see you tonight."

He gave you another deep, intimate kiss but instead of pulling away from you, he intensified the kiss, his body snuggling against yours and pressing you against the counter, making you gasp in pleasure. Instantly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling into the kiss.

"Javi?"

"Mmm…"

His lips roamed over your neck, and he knew exactly where to kiss you so you'd be all his.

"Don't you have to go to work?" you asked with an amused undertone.

"Mhm… I still have a few minutes," he whispered against your skin and without giving it much thought, he grabbed your thighs and lifted you onto the counter. With a seductive smile, you pulled Javier by his collar while your beautiful legs wrapped around his waist.

"I just can't keep my hands off you," he purred low and excited as he slid his hand under your skirt to feel your skin.

"Javi…"

You became instantly wet and that was just from his voice, his touch and his closeness. There was nothing wrong with performing a quick fuck in the kitchen, was there?

But your plan was thwarted when you heard a wagon. Javier looked out the window and saw someone approaching.

"Who is that?"

It could only be John. She looked up at Javier.

"Let's go outside. That must be John."

"John?"

What was John doing here? Out of nowhere like this? Javier frowned but followed, and he was more than curious to know how these circumstances fit together.

"Hey, Y/N! I brought you some stuff from town. And…"

John's smile evaporated as Javier suddenly appeared behind you. He thought he was seeing a ghost and he had to realize Javier was really here. John shook his head barely noticeably, closing his eyes briefly and frowning.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hola, John…"

"I said, what the hell are you doing here?"

And John sounded rather irritated. Instantly, he climbed off his wagon, made his way straight to the two of you. You had guessed that this reunion wouldn't be easy. But that John would react so negatively to Javier was surprising even to you.

"I could ask you the same thing, amigo."

Javier didn't appreciate being approached without any respect. John was angry, yes, he could understand. But if he was going to act foolish, well, so could Javier.

"I'll take care of, Y/N. Unlike you, Javier!"

Javier swallowed hard. Yes, John had been right. He hadn't been there for you, but he was now, and he would stay.

"You better get out of here, Javier! You have no business being here!"

"What? Says who? You?"

"Enough!"

The whole thing was getting too silly for you. With a stern look you eyed John, standing in front of Javier.

"This is my house, my property! I decide who can come here and who can't! Is that clear, John!"

"Y/N! Do you really think you can trust that snake? After all he's done!"

"Oh, come on John! Don't act like that! You let Abigail and Jack down back then! You let us all down that time!"

Now John was the one who had nothing to say about it. The two men paused and you were glad that neither of them had anything to say at the moment.

"We all made mistakes in our past. But talking about it doesn't undo anything!"

"Y/N, you may be right, but Javier sided with Micah! He is partly to blame for Arthur's death!"

"That's enough John! You better leave now!"

But John didn't listen at all, he went straight for Javier, stood in front of him, but Javier didn't back away, nor did he let John intimidate him.

"You betrayed us all."

With his head held high, he looked John in the eye. There was something dangerous in his gaze.

"I saved your life more than once, hijo de puta!"

But John was so pissed, he wasn't even listening to what Javier had to say to him.

"When Y/N needed you the most, you weren't there! You abandoned her and your child!"

It hit Javier, but also you, like a thunderbolt when John spoke those words. And at that very moment, there was a deep and powerful clap of thunder. Within a few seconds, the first raindrops were already falling to the earth. Daughter? How? But… For Javier, a world just collapsed. He was completely confused and you could see it in his face. His eyes slid across the ground, trying to comprehend what John had just said.

"Your daughter would have needed a father! Your woman would have needed you!"

You couldn't believe John had the thoughtlessness to say such a thing to Javier. Sobbing, you put your hand to your mouth to suppress your tears as best you could. Eventually everything came to light, but it had definitely been too soon. Way too soon and you would never forgive John for that. Closing your eyes, you let the first tears run free. The rain became heavier and soon wetted your entire face, mixing with your tears.

Javier was so shocked by John's statement that he was speechless. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words passed his lips. His eyes became glassy and he cast a shocked look in your direction. When he saw your tears and your agonized expression, he was aware that John was telling the truth.

"Y/N… no…"

"Fuck you Javier! Do her a favor and fuck off again!"

Where was his child? You didn't tell him about it! Where the hell was his daughter?

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pancake-breakfast · 8 months

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There was too much cliffhanger last time, so we gotta get moving today.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 12, Chapters 4-6 below.

Chapter 4: The Gunslinger

CW. Body horror

Wasn't this a previous chapter title? Referring to Vash?

Knives, that's not even a hand anymore. What have you done to your body, sir??

Vash has his attention. Good. I think.

Oof, Vash just burned more of his power here, didn't he.

Yeah, he did. I hope Knives is as horrified as I am.

Hiding behind the glasses. Good luck, babygirl. I don't like whatever you're planning, but it's not like I could do anything about it. Or come up with better ideas.

Yes. Yes, we are waiting with bated breath. There are TWO more volumes, and we're not even halfway through this one, and babygirl doesn't have much gold left, and Knives is in full monster mode, and where the hell are Legato and Livio and Elandira and... and... and...

I mean, kill him, absorb him.... It's not like it would be a long jump from one to the other. He already doesn't recognize Vash as an individual with a will of his own, or inasmuch as he does, he doesn't respect that will. All that's happened now is Knives has realized cowering in his own fear and following his plan for Ultimate Alone-ness(TM) is going to leave him without his brother, too. And he's decided he'd rather accept that than fail.

Ok, I love Knives' design here. It's like this terrible twist on angel presentation, with his wings looking more like teeth and jaws than wings, and with his face covered not by feathery appendages but by weird otherworldly tendrils.

Mmm, Knives looks like he thinks he got him, but I have my doubts. I don't really know what happened in the last few pages, but still.

LOLOLOL Knives was so busy being insulted by the "rudimentary" weapon Vash wields he didn't even consider that Vash might survive. Also, I bet he doesn't want to see Vash's corpse because then he might have regrets.

Knives is about to wax philosophical and Vash is like, "I ain't got time for your bullshit, bro. Get down here and fight me like a man!"

Chapter 5: +-0

Ohhhh, man. Listening to the Attack on Titan soundtrack while reading this was a mistake. As if I needed MORE feels.

Awww, teen Vash....

Wait, they chained him to a bomb?? Guys! He's just a baby Vash! He's a nice boy! Why'd you do this???

"Most of the time you don't know the person you're dealing with, but knowing their situation can change how you perceive their actions. The world keeps on turning, whether you understand them or not." Truth.

Eighty years?? EIGHTY, and they still look so young??? Also, that's a really long time to spend with someone while keeping them at a distance. It actually sounds like Vash wanted to leave but couldn't quite bring himself to, and so "arm's length" was the best compromise he could come up with. Not because he wanted to be closer and knew he shouldn't, but because he wanted to be further away and didn't know how.

And then... one day, he did.

Domina still doesn't look so good.

Mmm, so in all her battles, Chronica's never failed quite like this. One of the few spoilers I had around her was that she hates Knives, and at this point I think I can see why.

Knives always takes insult at Vash pointing a gun at him. He doesn't fear it. Only his '98 version registers it as a true threat. The rest of the time, it's just an insult. An insult that his brother would have become so distant from him to dare. An insult that his brother, a higher being, would use a rudimentary human weapon in what should be a struggle between gods. But... something something Christian imagery something Vash as a Jesus-like figure something something both Man and God and bridging the gap between the two.

Yeah, unlike you, Knives, Vash sees you as person and is absolutely not keen on taking away your right to life and all that comes with it.

Stampede just ate all this up, didn't they?

Look at that unsteady hand. Surely Knives came here to rescue him. Probably killed all the humans as he did it. Where did Vash get the gun?

Oh, shit. Knives didn't just kill up the guys who were executing Vash. He killed ALL of them.

Yeah, Knives isn't gonna get it.

Ah, tilting his head back like that. Resigning himself to a bloody victory, and allowing himself to revel in it even if Vash doesn't seem to get it.

Oh, man. He shot Knives!

Aaaand that's how Vash lost his arm.

Then what? Knives just left him there to bleed out in the desert while attached to a bomb? This seems questionable for Vash's continued survival.

Vash, NO. Don't kill yourself taking out your brother! This is NOT a reasonable option! There are soooo many people in the world still who care about you!

Also, shout-out to Knives' buggy dragon wings.

I like how in this spread Vash looks like Vash and Knives is... like... a disembodied blob.

Knives wants an all-out fight. Vash just wants victory.

Oh, Vash, honey.... You really should meet your cousin Chronica before you make claims like that. I'm sure she'd have some thoughts. Good thoughts.

Chapter 6: Resonance

Oooh, does this mean we're gonna get more Plant participation here?

Oh, man. I have a LOT of thoughts on resonance that I'm not going to write up tonight. I have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn and want to at least try to sleep at some point.

Knives has absorbed a TON of plants, and yet Vash, with his power and ingenuity, is matching him without having absorbed any.

Rude, Knives. Don't call your brother kii-sama.

Wait, Vash is stopping Knives from getting destroyed by his mini black holes? What's his plan here? Sap away Knives' power until Knives is no stronger than a human?

Oh, Smart Knives is smart. He, too, knows something's off.

I don't think Vash is here to give a lecture to you, Knives. Maybe... more of a practical demonstration, but not a lecture.

Ahhhh! Vash and the humans are trying to do the opposite of what Knives was doing! They're gonna ask! They're respecting the Plants' wills!

Oh, good. We get to see that teen Vash was rescued. Looks like he managed to shoot through the chain, too. I wasn't entirely sure.

If they were trying to spare everyone from radiation sickness, why did they chain Vash up?? Was he just too stubborn about leaving? That sounds like something he'd do.

Yeah, it would be hard to be the sole survivor twice, to know that people loved you and still had to turn their backs on you to keep you safe.

Knives, you are so smart and yet so stupid. You're like everyone else who's ever realized they're smarter than average and then jumped from there to being convinced that, because of their intelligence, they're also always right. That they understand people's hearts as well as they understands facts and logistics.

Yes, this! I just needed to wait a page for Vash to say it!

Ok, so... I've seen a lot of people talk about how pre-Vol. 10 Vash (or, really, pre-Vol. 8 Vash) is just like them fr fr with his slightly hidden depression and constant underlying suicidal tendencies and a bitterness he hides behind fake smiles. Personally, I find more resonance (heh) with post-Vol. 10 Vash, who is openly angry at certain things and has a far more clear view of his goal. I still think he runs more suicidal and/or depressed than I do, but it's not as far a jump from being suicidal to being willing to fight for a cause even if it costs your life as some might think.

Ugh, that's the stupid-ass military, isn't it. Just when it looks like the humans are getting through to the Plants, too.

I wonder if that's Brad there doing the obscuring thing. Kinda doesn't matter. It will be enough to encourage Vash, even if it's not enough to dissuade the military.

LOL, THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!!!

Oh, dear, sweet Meryl. I think he knows.

It was Brad! Huzzah! Good on you, kid!

See? They just hardened his resolve.

Oof, Domina's a mess. I guess it's up to the dependent Plants now. The rest are giving up on her, even though they don't want to. Their situation is desperate and they need to know more. It's like... a very soft Knives and Vash parallel.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

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Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt. 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell || Vol. 10: Crucifixion Symbology (pt. 2 of post), Merging of Families, Being Childlike (And Why God Hates Chapel) || Vol. 11: New Hair, New Outlook

#trigunbookclub #trigun maximum #volume 12 #pancake thoughts

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noladyme · 4 years

Text

The Crown Princess of Charming - part 10

Welcome to Charming - its name says it all. Cat needed a fresh start; and though she hadn’t planned on that being in the arms of the crown prince of this little town’s bikerclub - that was what happened. Charming CA would either be the death of her - or a whole new life.

Rated M

Tags (let me know if you want on the list) @wonderlandfandomkingdom @edonaspanca

We spent the next few days trying to figure out how to be a family. I was well aware – probably even more so than Jax – that this wasn’t just going to be as easy, as me moving my stuff into the house. Jackson was constantly trying to make me take up more space on the shelves. He even cleared out more space in the closet; throwing out old shirts – and the stained boilersuit. “You’re right. You don’t want to know”, he’d chuckled.

Monday afternoon, he found me on the living room floor; sorting papers and old art projects. “You know; I could get you a desk”, he said. “I don’t know if I’ll need one again”, I muttered. He sat down next to me; and took a drawing pad from my hands; going through the sketches on the pages of it. “You will. If it’s not for the school, it’ll be something else”. I shook my head. “I don’t want anything else…”, I said quietly.

He squeezed my healing knee gently. “What about dance?”, he tried. I sputtered a laugh. “You want me back on stage, in front of other men – and women; for that matter?”. He narrowed his eyes at me. “You never told me about any women…”, he muttered. I shrugged. “Like I said… I have a past”, I smirked. He looked down. “Is… that a problem?”, I said. He seemed to have to think about it. “I mean… no?”, he said. I frowned. “It’s a problem”, I whispered. He put an arm around my shoulder. “Just another thing I’m learning about you”, he smiled softly. ”Besides, I’ve produced enough porn to know that two women together is not a bad thing”. His smile became a smirk. I raised a brow at him. “No threesomes”, I said pointedly. He laughed. “Wouldn’t want to share you either way”, he grinned. I leant against his shoulder. “I don’t care who you’ve been with. You’re here now”.

I chewed my lip. “Am I, though?”, I said. “Who am I in this? Am I just your old lady?... I need more”. “I know”, he said. “But seriously, though. Why not take up dancing again?”. I sighed. “Old lady, step mom, and gogo-dancer?”. “Burlesque”, he grinned. I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’d be in my underwear in front of whoever paid an entry-fee”, I said. “You’d be good with that?”. Jax shrugged. “Opie deals with it”, he said. “Yeah. I’ve seen the way he winces every time Lyla talks about work”, I said. Jax frowned. “You wouldn’t be taking dildos up your ass”. I grimaced. “Sorry…”, he chuckled. “Look, I just want you to be happy”.

I kissed his cheek. “I know… I’m sorry. I’m not exactly being the bubbly girlfriend you’d expect me to be – having just moved in, and all…”. Jackson sighed. “Come here…”, he said; and pulled me into his arms. “These last few weeks have been crazy. You’ve been beat; drugged; arrested; and almost…”. Anger ghosted his face, and he couldn’t finish the sentence. “I don’t… I can’t let that ruin everything”, I said quietly. “You’re not ruining anything, Cat”, he said. “You’re dealing with it. Just let me help you”. “You are”, I said. “You’re paying Lowen for me… which I hate”. He frowned. “Why?”. “Because I don’t like not making my own money, and paying my own dues!”, I said. “I’ve always been able to handle myself”. He smiled. “We’re a team, darlin’”, he said. “There ain’t no I in team”. I put two fingers into my mouth, and made a gagging noise.

Jackson laughed, and took my hand. “Look, we’re a family. Ok?”, he said earnestly. “I take care of you; you take care of me”. “And how do I take care of you?”, I said – immediately regretting the question; when I saw his playful grin. “You took care of me twice, this morning…”, he leered. I looked at him incredulously. “You realize that makes me sound like your own personal call-girl, right?”. “I don’t mind a bit of role-play”, he smiled.

I tried to smile; but Jax saw through it. “I’m sorry”, he muttered. I shook my head. “I want me back”, I said. “My work, my sense of security in who I am… Joshua took it all away”. He nodded. “What can I do?”, he said. I thought about it for a moment. “I do want to dance again… are you sure you’d be ok with that?” It was his turn to ponder my question. “I love you; and I want you happy”, he said. “Dancing makes you happy”. “It does”, I nodded. “No nipple tassels?”, he said warily. “I’ll save those for you”, I smirked. “I know how you like to wear them…”. He looked at me warningly. “Hey! That stays between us”, he said. I giggled. “I promise”, I said.

He kissed me gently. “I’ll look up safe clubs for you”. “What do you mean; safe?”, I asked. He frowned. “It’s got to be somewhere unconnected to club enemies”, he said. “And somewhere out of range of Juice”.

His phone rang. “Speak of the devil”, he muttered; and picked up the call. “Juice! What’s up?”. I got up from the floor; and went to feed Abel – who’d been chewing on a teddy bear in his playpen. Jax followed me into the kitchen; his phone to his ear. “Shit!... Yeah. We’re on our way”. He hung up. “Pack up. We gotta get to the clubhouse”. I held Abel to my chest. “What’s wrong?”, I said. “Lockdown”, he grumbled; and walked to the nursery; beginning to pack up a bag for Abel.

I followed him with bated breath. “Jax… what’s happening?”. He looked at me – jaw clenched. “Someone burnt down one of our warehouses”, he said. “Phil got shot”. I felt cold all over. “Is he…”. Jax shook his head. “He’s in the hospital. Gut wound”, he muttered. “Babe; pack your things. We leave in five”. I nodded; and put Abel in the crib, to go collect my things. Jax followed me into the bedroom. “How much… what do I need?”, I said. “Pack for a couple of days”.

I nodded; and grabbed some clothes and toiletries. I was shaking. “Cat…”. Jax pulled me in to a tight hug. “It’ll be ok. You’ll be safe… It’s just a precaution”. “For what?”, I whimpered. He stepped away from me; and opened the bottom drawer – pulling out a .38; checking the chambers to see it was full. “We’re at peace with brown and black. So we don’t know who did it”. “Nords?”, I said. He shook his head. “They don’t mess with our business”, he said. “Too much heat for their numbers”.

I let out a nervous breath. Jax handed me the gun. “This one’s easier. No safety – just pull the hammer; aim, and shoot”. I nodded; and put the gun in my purse.

We drove to TM – I had Abel in the car with me; and Jax followed close on his bike. Once inside the lot; the large gate closed behind us.

The clubhouse was filled with women and children. Abel was fussing from not having been feed when we were at the house; and Gemma took him from my shaking arms. “I’ll be ok, sweetheart”, she said warmly. “This happens”. I nodded; and went to sit down with Lyla. She and Opie had pulled the kids out of school; and the three of them were doing homework at a table.

Clay stepped into the middle of the room. “Listen up! Lockdown is in order. No one leaves without an escort – and all communications with outsiders is on hold”. I felt sick. Jax met my eyes, and stepped over to stand by me – back straight and VP-face on. He squeezed my shoulder for second; letting me know he knew I was afraid. “You’ll all be home as soon as we figure out what happened”, Clay said. “For now; you stay her. And stay safe”. He turned to Jax. “We gotta go”. Jax nodded; and turned to me; bending down for a quick kiss. “I love you. Stay here. We’ve got the dorm for Abel”. “Ok”, I said quietly. “Come back to me…”. “I will”, he whispered.

The guys left the clubhouse; and I heard their bikes starting up, and leaving the lot.

---

I spent the next few hours scared out of my mind. No calls came in to let us know what was happening; and I was constantly looking at the door – wishing for Jax to step through it. Gemma was on her phone; and after she hung up, she joined me at a table; where I was trying to feed Abel his nighttime bottle. “That was Rat”, she said. “Phil is out of the woods; but he’ll need to stay in the hospital for a few days”. “And how long will we have to be here?”, I asked. “I don’t know, baby”, she said. “They’re just trying to keep us safe”. I frowned. “Then why am I still terrified?”, I said quietly. She smiled. “Because you’ve never done this before”. She squeezed my hand. “But you’re doing it just perfectly”. She looked at Abel. “Do you want me to put him down for the night?”. I shook my head. “No, I’ll do it. I’m gonna try to get some sleep as well”. I stood up; holding the baby against my shoulder to burp him. “Why do we get the dorm? There are other kids here…”. She shrugged. “It’s just the way it is”, she said. “No one has a problem with it”. “I do”, I muttered. She stroked my cheek. “There goes that heart of yours… Look, if it makes you uncomfortable; bring Lyla and her kids with you”. I nodded.

I got Lyla and the kids to follow me into the dorm – not really wanting to be alone. A little while later, Lyla was next to me on the bed; stroking Kenny’s hair. The boy had wet cheeks; and was whimpering in his sleep.

“Thanks for letting us stay in here with you”, she whispered. “Anything else would have been ridiculous”, I smiled. We we’re bundled up on the bed with Abel and Kenny – Ellie and Piper having been tucked in on the couch. Kenny had cried himself to sleep; worried about his dad. There’d been a travel cot for the baby set up in the room; but I’d insisted one of the women sleeping in the bar area, used it for her little girl. Besides; I preferred having Abel in my arms as it was.

“You think they’re ok?”, Lyla asked. “Yeah…”, I whispered – trying to convince myself as well as her. “They have each other’s backs”. Lyla nodded.

I pulled the covers off Abel; as the room was warm; and I didn’t want him to overheat. “You’re good with him… a natural”, Lyla said. I smiled softly. “He’s an easy kid… And Jax takes the main load when he’s home”. “Really?”, Lyla said incredulously. “Yeah”, I said. “He’s a regular mother hen around him”. “Wow…”, Lyla said; surprised.

I chewed my lip. “Did… do you know Abels mom? Wendy?”. Lyla shook her head. “No; that was before my time”, she said. “But Opie told me a bit about her… She has issues”. “I know”, I nodded. “But I still want him to know about her”. “Is Jax pushing for you to get guardianship?”, Lyla asked. “I think he’ll bring up at some point… Or Gemma will”. She frowned at me. “You don’t want that?”. I stroked Abel’s little arm. “I have no problem with the guardianship. I love him. So much”, I muttered. “But I’m not his mother. I don’t need him to call me mom”. “Then what?”, she said; letting the sleeping baby hold on to her pinky. “I want to be there for him… whatever happens. He is mine; you know?”. I sighed. “And I want what’s best for him”. “You think she’s part of that equation?”, she said. I thought about it. “She should be – on one way or another”. I kissed the baby’s head. “I want him to have a clear understanding of where he comes from”.

Lyla smiled softly at me. “You are too good for words, Cat”. I looked at the sleeping child in her arms. “You’re not half bad yourself… taking on two of Opie’s, on top of your own”. She stroked Kenny’s cheek. “I guess I feel like you do. They are mine – but they weren’t mine first”, she said. “Though Donna’s a hard act to follow”.

I took her hand; and squeezed it. “Stepmom’s for the win, huh?”. She grinned. “Go team Stepmom”.

Soon after; Lyla dozed off. I spent the night in and out of sleep. Every sound made me jolt. I was worried, and wanting nothing more than to see Jackson safe and sound, as soon as possible. Abel woke up at 6 am; needing a change and a bottle. I slipped out of the dorm quietly; trying not to stir my sleeping friend and her kids.

Rat was in the main room; putting out breakfast items for the sleeping people in the clubhouse. He looked even scrawnier than usual – tired and sad. “Are you ok?”, I whispered. He looked worried for a second. “Yeah; I’m just fine, ma’am… Cat”. He tried to smile. “There’s an empty mattress in the storage room”, I said. “Go get some sleep. You look exhausted”. He shook his head. “I need to finish this”, he muttered. I put Abel in his car seat on a table; and took a loaf of bread from Rat’s hands. “That’s an order”, I smiled. Rat smiled; and scuttered off.

I’d had Jax buy a baby carrier; so we’d be able to carry Abel with us, hands free. I strapped the baby to my body, and got to work, preparing breakfast. While I worked; Ellie came out to join me. “Couldn’t sleep?”, I said. “No”, the girl muttered. I stroked her cheek. “Your dad will come back as soon as he can”, I smiled. She nodded. “I miss you at school… Miss Bloom is back. She made us read The Hobbit”. “That’s a good book”, I said. Ellie shrugged. “Yeah, but I already read it”.

I narrowed my eyes; and told Ellie to wait; while I slipped into the dorm – going through my bag; and returning with The Graveyard Book. “Here. It’s the same author that wrote Coraline”, I said; handing her the book. “You’ll like it”. Her eyes lit up. “Can I go read it now?”. I nodded smilingly; and Ellie ran off to find a quiet corner.

Gemma had appeared from somewhere; and watched our exchange. “Do you always bring a library with you wherever you go?”, she grinned. I shrugged. “Only when I’m locked up in a bikerclub; and don’t know when I’ll be able to get out again”, I said. “Nice to have some diversion”. Gemma chuckled. “Where’s Rat?”, she asked. “I told him to get some rest. He was sleeping standing up”.

She walked over to me; and kissed my cheek. “Where the hell did you come from, Cat? And why didn’t you get here sooner?”, she smiled. I blushed, and went back to my task of carving up rolls.

People began stirring – attacking the buffet I’d set up for breakfast. I stuck to coffee myself – feeling too anxious to eat. Abel began fussing from all the sounds of women and children around him; and I decided to go outside to get some air.

I walked back and forth on the lot; bouncing my body to settle the whimpering baby against my chest. An armed leather clad Son with a batch from Tacoma kept his eyes on me. Suddenly the gates opened; and fleet of bikes entered the lot. The sound of the engines instantly made Abel calm down; and I chuckled at the irony.

Chibs got off his bike – looking tired and worn. I walked over to him. “Guests?”, I muttered; looking at the unknown bikers parking near the shop. “Nomads”, the scot answered. “We need backup”. I shuddered. “What happened?”. Chibs put his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, my love”, he smiled. “We’re all whole”. I nodded. “There’s still food inside”, I muttered. Chibs put his hand on my back; and led me towards the door of the clubhouse. “You two should be inside”. “What’s happening?”, I asked.

Chibs opened the door for me, and led me to a quiet corner; gesturing for Gemma to follow. “Retaliation”, he said quietly. “Nords called in some white power friends”. My breath hitched. “O-ollie?”, I whispered. Chibs shook his head. “No. This has nothing to do with you… this is something else”. Gemma met the scots eyes. “The other thing”, she muttered. “What?”, I asked. Chibs smiled. “Don’t worry about it, luv’”.

His phone rang; and he picked it up. “Yes?... I just got in with the Nomads. I’m going to have Quinn head security until you or Clay comes back… Yes. She’s here”. Chibs handed me the phone. I took it, and headed down the hall to find some quiet.

“Hello?”. “Cat…”. Jax sounded tired. “Baby…”, I almost whimpered. “Are you ok?”. “I’m fine… I’m at one of the warehouses; keeping it safe”, he said. “Are you safe?”. “I’m freaking out…”, I admitted. “I know, babe”, he breathed. “I’ll be there as soon as I can”. “When?”. He paused. “We’re expecting some company…”. “Jax…?”, I croaked. “What’s happening? Are you in danger?”. “It might get bloody”, he said honestly. “Listen; you and Abel are safe as long as you stay inside the compound”. “I can’t do this alone…”, I croaked. “I can’t lose you…”. “I’m going to do whatever it takes to get back to you safe and sound. I promise”. He let out a deep breath. “I love you, Cat”. “I love you”, I said. He paused. “There’s something else…”. “What?”. “We don’t have enough people to cover the studio. The Cara Cara girls will have to hold up with you all, at the clubhouse, until this blows over”. Ima. “Great”, I grumbled. “Just… make sure you hold on to that .38 for the real enemies, ok?”, he said. I didn’t answer. “Cat?”. “I promise not to burst anymore implants…”. “I love you. Thank you for… everything. How’s my boy?”. I looked down at the baby strapped to my chest. “Loved…”, I said. I could almost hear Jackson’s smile through the phone. “Come back whole”, I squeaked.

---

A few hours later; a van full of scantily clad women arrived at TM. Lyla greeted her friends; and said a curtly hello to Ima – who did her best to avoid me; and Gemma. She was wearing a gauze around her chest.

The kids were getting rowdy – reacting to the close quarters and the lack of entertainment. With a sleeping Abel to my chest; I thought fast, and grabbed every sheet and blanket I could find – helping them build a fort under the table in the meeting room. This gave the adults some well needed peace to mingle, and talk about what was going on.

Chibs was out cold in the dorm; and I let him have one of the blankets – lovingly tucking in the snoring scot. Happy and Juice arrived at noon – having traded shifts with two of the Nomads. They passed out on a couch each; some Cara Cara girls fussing over them. Happy had his head in one girls lap; while another let Juice use her voluptuous chest as a pillow. I grinned at the scene; and went back to my fort project.

Gemma came and took Abel from me; and I crawled under the reaper-table with a flashlight from the shop – making shadow animals with the kids. “That’s not a dragon!”, Piper called out; after I’d tried my best at making one with my hands. “Sure it is!”, I said. “I met one once, you know?”. “Really?”, a little girl said. “Yeah!”, I enthused. “She was ugly; and had bad breath… her name was June”. The kids let out an audible gasp in unison.

The time flew more quickly for me; as I was occupied with the kids. After a while; I went outside for some fresh air, and a cigarette in peace. A few of the nomads were on the roofs; overlooking the compound and the area surrounding it. Their large guns should have made me feel uncomfortable – but I was beginning to feel more at ease with being surrounded by armed men. This is for our protection, I thought. I just wished Jax was there.

Juice and Chibs headed out to trade places with Clay, Bobby and Tig. Rat followed them in a dark van. As the gates closed; I suddenly saw two of the Cara Cara girls stumbling outside – head to head in a catfight. They didn’t seem to be able to agree on which one of them would be taking care of Tig when he got back. One of the girls punched the other in the face; breaking her nose. Lyla and Gemma had followed them outside; and was yelling at them to stop. Ellie and Piper where at their heels; looking at the exchange. The kid’s faces were terrified.

I ran over to the squabbling girls; and pulled away the one who had thrown the punch. She scratched for me; but missed – and I slapped her hard across the face. “Hey! You leave that shit for when this is over”, I snarled. “We have kids here!”. The angry porn-star walked away with a putrid glare at me; and I helped the bleeding woman to her feet. “Lyla; get the first aid kit!”, I called to my friend; who ran back inside; ushering the kids with her. We managed to get the bleeding to stop on the poor girls nose; and I promised to tell Tig, how she’d defended his honor.

Some of the women prepared dinner with Gemma. People were getting restless; so the food came at just the right time, to distract us all. Ima nabbed a plate of potato salad; sticking up her nose at Gemma’s recipe. She searched for a place to sit down; and noticed my folding chair leaning against the wall. I took it before she could touch it. “Rules still apply”, I said coldly. She smirked at me. “Did Jax ever tell you how he likes his dick sucked?”, she said. “I had plenty of practice with him. Could give you some pointers…”. “Or I could point you in the direction of the street”, I said. “See how long that new tit survives without club protection. “What’s your problem?”, she hissed. “Who do you think you are?” Happy came from out of nowhere; lifting his t-shirt to expose the gun resting in the waistband of his jeans. “That’s who she is, bitch. Sit down, and shut up”. Ima jumped a little; and slipped away quietly. I sent Happy a slight smile. “Thanks”. “No worries, princess”, he said hoarsely.

I noticed Gemma smiling at the exchange; and stepped over to join her at her table. Abel was making sputtering sounds at the apple sauce she was feeding him. “You’re doing good, sweetheart”, Gemma said. “Yeah well… you don’t come in to someone’s house, and behave like that”, I said. Gemma’s smile widened; and she went back to feeding the baby.

After dinner; the kids dragged me back into the fort. We started a game of who’s dad has the stinkiest farts. Kenny insisted Opie’s were so bad they’d once made Ellie cry. “Did not!”, Ellie raged. Opie ducked his head under one of the sheets. “They’re not that bad”, he grinned.

Kenny, Ellie and Piper jumped at their father; attacking him with hugs. Opie pulled his kids out of the fort; and I stuck my head out to send him a smile. In the doorway of the meeting room stood Jax; trademark smirk spread across his face. I jumped at him; throwing myself into his embrace.

“I’m ok”, he whispered into my ear. He pulled back; and kissed my forehead. “What the hell did you do to our table?”. I shrugged, and grinned at him. “Well the clubhouse is no longer Samcro property”, I said. “Welcome to The Fortress of Awesomeness and Cheese-dip. Home of the Dragons… or Unicorns. We couldn’t agree on a name”. “Shit”, Jax chuckled. “Who’s the president?”. “We’re a Marxist community”, I said. “But I’m the spokesperson/treasurer”. “You got ‘em to hand over their allowances?”, he laughed. I shook my head with mock menace. “Still working on it”.

Jax hugged me tightly; and kissed my lips. “You’re amazing”, he said. “Can I come in?”. “You’ll have to ask the board”, I said. He frowned. “Who’s the board?”. “Rina…?”, I called out. The little girl who’d asked about the dragon, crawled out from under the table; taking with her a beaten-up skateboard. “Ask the board”, I said; looking seriously at Jax. He narrowed his eyes at the girl; who held up the skateboard at him. “Can I come in to the fort?”. Rina bit her lip; and nodded in glee.

Jax ducked under the sheets; and crawled in to join the party. “Oh, shit. You got Wi-Fi in here?".

---

A few hours later – after having fed my old man enough potato salad for an army – I was about to get Abel ready for bed. “I’ll take him”; Jax smiled; and took the baby into his arms. “Dorm?”. “I’ve been sharing it with Lyla and the kids”, I said. Jackson grinned. “There goes the privacy”. I shrugged. “Not used to sleeping alone anymore”, I muttered. He kissed me gently; and walked down the hall; followed by Gemma.

I realized he’d forgotten the diaper bag; and grabbed it – walking down the hall to the dorm. Voices made me stop outside the cracked door.

“She did good, baby”, Gemma said quietly. “I know”, Jax replied. “You better get her stamped, or someone will try to snatch her up”. “She don’t want the ink, ma’”. “Why?”, Gemma asked. “She’s more than just my old lady”, Jax said. There was a pause before Gemma replied. “I get it”.

I opened the door, and walked into the room. “Hey, you forgot the diaper bag”, I smiled; and handed it to Jax. He smiled; and began changing Abel. Gemma squeezed my shoulder; and left us to it. Jax leaned over his son, and grimaced. “Shit, son. What did momma Cat feed you?”. Momma Cat.

I sat down in the chair we’d used for our riding session some days before. Jax looked up at me, and smirked in remembrance. “I’m… not sure you should call me that”, I said quietly. Jax frowned. “What do you mean?”, he said; and finished closing the clean diaper on his son. He picked up the baby; and sat down on the bed across from me. “I’m not his mom”, I said. “You’re the closest thing he has…”, Jax retorted. “What about Wendy?”, I whispered.

Jax visibly tensed up. “I told you…”, he said. “Yeah, but…”. I sighed. “I love him like my own, Jackson. I do… but at some point, he’s going to have to know where he came from”. Jax shook his head. “I don’t want her screwing up his life”, he said pointedly.

I went over and sat next to him – stroking Abel’s cheek softly. “We won’t let that happen… but if she turns up; and wants back in to his life – clean and sober – I don’t think you should turn her away”. Jax clenched his jaw; but seemed to ponder my words in earnest. “Whatever she is… if it hadn’t been for her; you wouldn’t have him”.

Jax blew out a long breath. “I’ll think about it…”, he said. I went to stand up; but he grabbed my arm; pulling me back down. “There’s more to being a mom, than giving birth. What you just said… that’s sacrifice”. I smiled. “I love him…”. “I know”, Jax said. “Like a mother”. I nodded.

“Momma Cat?”, I whispered. Jax smirked. “Yeah…”, he said quietly. “Better start working on that California Dreaming”. I grimaced. “That’s Mama Cass”. He grinned. “Right”.

Abel had fallen asleep against his father’s chest; and my heart was warm and full of love. Lyla stuck her head in. “Hey, Laura said there’s enough room for the both Abel and her little girl in the crib”. Jax nodded. “You, Ope and the kids take the dorm. We’ll sleep in to The Fortress of Awesomeness and Cheese-dip”. I laughed; and followed Jackson out the door.

We tucked Abel in next to the little girl; and crawled under the reaper-table; collapsing on top of some pillows and blankets. Jax managed to shrug off his cut; before closing his eyes – and falling asleep, almost instantly. I pulled his head against my chest; and put my legs over his – embracing him protectively.

---

“What the hell happened to the table?”, Clays voice boomed; waking me and Jax from our slumber.

Jackson kissed my forehead; and crawled out of my embrace; leaving our haven to face his president. “We took a vote”, he said. “It’s a fort, now”. “I can see that”, Clay muttered.

I crawled out to join them. Clay looked at me, and shook his head; before laughing. “You did good, teach’”, he leered. I blushed. “We do need our table back, though”, Clay said. “Church in 30”. Jax frowned. “We only got half a table, man”, he said. “Piney and Juice are on their way in. I sent Rat out to join Chibs. I have his proxy”, Clay said. “I set up the meeting for this afternoon... We can end this today. But we need a vote”. Jackson shook his head. “We talked about this…”, he began. “You talked. I listened. Now we put it to the table”, Clay said pointedly. Jax sighed. “Ok…”.

I began stripping the table of sheets and blankets – my heart breaking slightly for the kids. Jax seemed deep in thought. After a moment, he took my hand. “Let someone else do that. I need to talk to you…”.

I followed him out of the clubhouse; and into Gemma’s office. Jax closed the door behind us. “I need to tell you something”, he said; gesturing for me to sit down. I suddenly felt anxious. “What’s wrong?”, I said. He sat down next to me. His brow was furrowed. “I told you about the guns we mule”, he said. “But that’s not all we haul”. I waited with bated breath. “We transport dope”.

I instantly felt sick. “Oh… God”, I heaved. Jax put a hand on my back; trying to calm me. I shrugged him off; and stood up. “Heroin, Jax?”. He clenched his jaw. “I know…”, he said. “It’s not good”. “Not good?”, I hissed. “Your son was born with his guts hanging out because of drugs! And I was drugged; and almost…”. “I know!”, he barked. “You think I want to do this?”. I shook my head, and laughed sarcastically. “Of course. Club vote”, I sneered. “Yay, democracy, right?”.

Jax got up; and tried to take my hand. “Don’t”, I snarled. “That is a big goddamn line to cross, Jax!”. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…”, he tried. “Has it been in the house?”, I asked. “Has it been around Abel?”. “No!”. His voice was hard. “Never”. “And you never…”. “Tested the wares?”, he sneered. “How stupid do you think I am, Cat?”. I scoffed. “You are transporting hard drugs across state lines”, I said. “Ask that question again…”. He sat back down, and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah… you’ve got a point”.

I sighed. “So what happens now?”. Jackson looked down. His voice was distant. “You get out…”. I went cold. “What?”, I croaked. “You run, and you don’t look back”. Tears welled up in my eyes. “You want me gone, because I don’t…”. Jax shook his head. “No… I don’t want you gone. But you should want to go…”, he said quietly. “Please… don’t let my shit rub off on you. Have a life that’s not… this”.

A tear ran down my cheek. “This is my life”, I whispered. “This… is it. There’s nothing else”. Jax leant back – not touching me. “I’ll get you some cash”, he said. “You can start up somewhere else. Just go. No one will stop you”.

I felt every inch of my body fill up with rage. Walking over to Jackson; I smacked him hard across the face. “Don’t!”, I growled. “You don’t get to push me away, when things get hard!”.

Jax’s face dropped. I’d left a scratch on his cheek; and a small trickle of blood ran from his cheekbone.

Jax got up. His body was tense; and his face was unreadable. “You want this? Me?”, he hissed. “I’m not a good man. Why do you want this to be your life?”. I pushed him hard in the chest. “Because you’re mine, Jackson!”, I yelled. “Guns; drugs; psycho porn-star exes… with all that, you’re still mine. A part of what makes me, me!”.

“All of it?”, he said. “This isn’t going to end. I’m never going to be your every day Joe; who come’s home at the end of the night with a bouquet of flowers and a steady paycheck”. I looked at him pointedly. “Do you love me?”, I said. “What?”, he breathed. “Do you love me!”, I almost screamed. He parted his lips, and relaxed his stance. “Of course. Yes”, he breathed. “You and that kid in there, are the only two things I’ve done right in my life”.

I sighed. “I’m not a virginal princess in a high tower, that needs to be protected and kept clean of your shit”, I said. “I’m in this with you”. Jax swallowed hard. “You are so good”, he said. “I don’t want to break you”. I let out a short breath. “I’m not broken, Jax”, I said. “Kohn didn’t break me; and you aren’t going to break me. I’m not going anywhere… Not because I can’t take care of myself; or need you to pay for my lawyer, or my future… Because this is it, for me!”.

He nodded. “I love you, Cat”, he said quietly. I stepped closer to him; and put my hands on his chest – meeting his eyes. “If you ever say something like that again – ever tell me to leave…”. “I won’t. I’m so sorry”. He pulled me against him; putting his arms around me.

“I don’t want you hauling drugs”, I said. “I can’t get out of it”, he muttered. “Not yet… I’m trying, baby; I really am… I hate myself every time I pack up and go on one of those runs”. “Then end it… safely”, I said. He hesitantly took my hand. “I will… but this shit with The Nords”. He sighed. “It’s about to get worse before it gets better”. “What do you mean?”.

Jackson furrowed his brows. “The Nords brought in friends from the alt-right… they were the ones who burnt down our warehouse”. “What does that have to do with the drugs?” “We had a meeting with their lieutenant… they’re well connected, Cat”. He looked worried. “They threatened to kill our drug-transports, by attacking every haul we sent – and going after our other businesses… Clay made an agreement with them – we transport double the dope; handing half of it to their guys up north”. “They’re strong-arming you?”, I asked. He shook his head. “They’ll pay; and this war can end before it starts”. I had to lean against the desk for support. “Double?”, I croaked. “It’s the same jail-time of we get caught”, Jax said.

The mention of jail; made my ears ring, and bile rise in my throat. “How do you get out?”, I muttered. He shook his head. “I don’t know… not yet”, he said. “But I swear; I will end this shit, Cat – I will!... But for now; to keep everyone safe, we need to do this”.

I let out a deep breath. “I don’t know which I hate more - the drugs, or the fact that you’re dealing with white power...”, I whispered; before meeting his eyes. “Go… do what you need to do to get us out of this mess. I trust you”. Jax pulled me into his arms. “I will never let any of this touch you”, he said. “Are you going to hit me again?”. I frowned. “Maybe…”, I muttered. “No more lies… we’ve been through this before. I’m all in”. He nodded; and kissed the corner of my mouth. “Ok… whatever happens, we get through it together”.

#jax teller x oc #jax teller #jax teller fic #jackson teller #jackson teller fic #soa #sons of anarchy fic #sons of anarchy

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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written-on-the-trees · 4 years

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Emerson Barrett Fan Fiction - Beautiful Things Come One Stitch At A Time

Prompt: Enemies to Lovers (or rather exes to still-exes-but-one-of-them-wants-to-get-back-together)

Word-count: 1825 words

Warnings: none

Description: Tia dumped Emerson because he wasn't good for her. She never expected to see him at work four years later - and now she doesn't know what to do.

Sequel to Not Enough Stitches To Put Us Back Together!

Tia sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

This was not how she had wanted to spend her day.

After getting fired, she’d started looking for jobs that would take her away from Las Vegas. It had only been a few months since she’d dumped her ex-boyfriend, Emerson, and it had seemed like the universe was telling her it had been time for a change. She’d applied for a few various positions, and ended up taking a job on Los Angeles, at Sumerian Records. At the time, Palaye Royale had been an unsigned band, and Tia had taken a job as a personal assistant in the record label’s legal department, figuring that even if Palaye Royale were signed to Sumerian, it was unlikely Tia would ever have any reason to deal with them.

However, two very significant things had changed since she’d first started working for Sumerian.

Firstly: she’d become a tour manager. Apparently she had an undiscovered talent for wrangling people and organisation. The last bit hadn’t really been undiscovered to her, but the people wrangling bit had been a pleasant surprise.

Secondly - something that was a much less pleasant surprise - Palaye Royale got signed to Sumerian Records.

Tia hadn’t been pleased. She’d gone straight to her boss, Kayley, and explained everything: that Emerson was an ex-boyfriend, that they hadn’t parted on the best of terms, and that Sebastian and Remington despised her. Kayley had taken it in stride, and made notes in all the relevant places that Tia wasn’t to be TM on any tour Palaye Royale were on. It was a system that worked for years; she never saw any of the three men, and since she’d blocked them all on all of her social media accounts, along with anyone she knew they were close with, she wasn’t even sure she worked for the label they were signed to.

It was the perfect arrangement, as far as she was concerned.

But then the world had gone to shit. That had been rough for everyone, not least Tia, who had been lucky to be put on paid leave through the worst of it, getting 75 percent of her monthly salary each month. Between that, using the extra time to spend on her crafting hobbies that allowed her open up an Etsy store, and her savings, Tia had been lucky enough to wait the virus out. Some of her colleagues hadn’t been so lucky, and had had to move on, but as much as Tia’s heart had hurt for them, she hadn’t really thought of what that meant for her.

Like the fact Sumerian were now dealing with the world opening back up for concerts while they had a lack of tour managers.

Which was how Tia had ended up being named TM for the second leg of Palaye Royale’s The Bastards Tour.

Just kill me now.

Kayley had been apologetic, and Tia honestly believed there was nothing her boss could’ve done, but in some respects that just made things more frustrating. There was no-one to blame for these circumstances but a shitty universe fucking with her, and so Tia just had to put on her big girl knickers and get on with it. Starting with introducing herself to the boys as their new TM.

It wasn’t going to be fun. In fact, Tia was pretty sure it was going to be the worst day she’d had since she’d dumped Emerson.

Despite that, though, Tia squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and walked onto the tour bus that was going to be her new home - and the home of her ex-boyfriend and his brothers - for the next few months. The sudden silence that fell across the three men sitting in the main living area was deafening, but Tia didn’t let it intimidate her. She was going to have to face a lot worse than just silence, and she wasn’t going to be beaten so early on.

So, instead, she just put a blandly professional smile on her face, and introduced herself before any of those idiots could speak: “Good morning. I’m Tatia, and I’m going to be the TM for this tour.”

“We know who you are.” Sebastian glared at Tia: “It’s not like we’d forget the bitch who dumped our brother on the way back from the hospital.”

Remington nodded: “We’re not awful people.”

Tia would like to argue that point, specifically about Sebastian and Remington, but she was determined to remain professional.

Even if Emerson was staring at her as if she was some sort of literal angel: like he couldn’t quite believe he was actually seeing her. It was weird, and Tia really hoped that he stopped doing it soon, but in the name of remaining professional she ignored it.

“Of course you’re not.” Tia agreed with Remington, keeping her tone light and friendly, despite how bad his attitude was: “And irrespective of any previous relationships, we’re going to have to work together for the next three months, so I believe it’s in all out interests to be civil.”

“Or we could just tell the label that you’re a ex and we don’t want to work with you.” Remington smirked.

Tia just smiled at him: “Sumerian Records have been aware of the fact Emerson is my ex-boyfriend since you signed with them. Normally I would not have been your TM, but there’s a bit of a shortage of us around at the moment, and I’m the only one available for this tour. If you would still like to take it up with the record, then you can, but in terms of TMs, it’s me or no-one.”

Silence reigned again.

“Shall we get on the road, then?”

The silence continued, and Tia took that as a win.

A month into the tour, and Tia was ready to tear her hair out.

Remington and Sebastian were dicks. Andrew, their touring guitarist, took his lead from them, even if he wasn’t as bad: and their merch girl Hope did the same. All the roadies, some of whom she’d worked with before, were on her side, seeing Remington, Sebastian, and Andrew as arrogant and rude because…well, they were arrogant and rude, snapping demands during set up and ignoring everyone the rest of the time. The driver hated them because he was constantly annoyed by their antics on the bus, so he was on Tia’s side too

The bus was divided, and it was not conductive to a good environment.

And then there was Emerson.

Emerson, when he wasn’t busy on stage or doing media, followed Tia around like a lost puppy. The roadies had found it really creepy to begin with - and even when Tia had filled them in on the fact he was her ex, they still weren’t too happy about him. She was rarely left on her own, and she grateful for that - because apparently Emerson was not over her.

He started with constantly trying to make eye contact whenever they were in the same room. When that didn’t work, he moved onto texting her, since she’d unblocked him for work, but she ignored all messages from him that weren’t work related. Once he’d realised he wasn’t getting anywhere with the texts, he’d moved onto gifts and cares. A lot of gifts and cards. Stuffed toy cats, expensive treats like fancy baked goods and chocolates, interesting sounding books, even jewelry.

Tia ignored all of it, but she knew it was only a matter of time before he would stop letting her do that.

Eventually, he managed to corner her while she was talking to Hope about how much stock the merch table needed and if they needed to look at getting more. With Hope being firmly on the band’s side, and probably assuming Emerson was going to chew her out like Remington and Sebastian constantly tried to, she disappeared the moment he gestured for her to give him and Tia a moment.

He didn’t waste a moment once he had her trapped between himself, the merch table, and a wall, immediately launching into what he wanted to say: “Tia, I’m so sorry. Past me was awful - ”

“I hate to break it to you, Emerson, but present you is also pretty terrible.” Tia rolled her eyes.

“ - but I have changed.” Emerson continued, before his expression turned regretful when he registered what she’d said: “Even if I haven’t necessarily shown you that.”

Tia rolled her eyes again: “Pretty much the opposite. You and your brothers are exactly the same as I remember you: aggressive, cocky, or just plain apathetic. Your brothers have gone out of their way to make life difficult to me, and you’ve sat back and let it happen, just like the three of you used to drive me to the urge of panic attacks, and you did nothing about it. So, yeah, I wouldn’t exactly say that you’ve shown you’ve changed.”

Emerson had the good sense to look ashamed: “You’re right, I haven’t. I’m sorry.”

Tia remained resolute when Emerson’s face dropped.

She wasn’t sucked in by the act - and on the off chance it was genuine, it was nothing compared to the upset he’d caused her. The fact was, dating Emerson had been terrible for Tia’s mental health. It had driven her to therapy after the relationship ended, which had in time allowed her to see that although her issues were absolutely not Emerson’s fault, he exacerbated them so much that if she hadn’t dumped him when she had there would have been issues that he was to blame for.

Had she missed him? Yes. Did she still miss him? That was harder to say.

Emerson was a unique soul, and Tia had truly felt they had gotten along amazingly…he just never listened to her when she explained that there was something wrong. She had loved him, even though they’d been together for just six months, but that had been over four years ago now, and even though sometimes it made something in her chest clench when she looked at him, she honestly wasn’t sure if it was love or just an echo of the pain he’d caused her.

“I want to show you that I have, though.” Emerson suddenly continued: his forlorn look being overtaken by one of determination: “I will show you that I have.”

Tia wasn’t sure she believed him…but she found that, deep down, she wanted him to, even though she wasn’t going to admit it, so she just sighed: “I’m sure you’ll try, Emerson.”

“I will.”

“Okay, then.” Tia shrugged, still acting like she didn’t believe him - because she honestly didn’t, no matter what she wanted: “I’ve got work to do. You do what you want.”

She walked away, leaving Emerson to plan whatever he was going to do to try and convince her that he was a better person that he used to be.

I wonder if it will work…

#The Trees Writes #The Trees' October 2020 Writing Challenge #Emerson Barrett #Emerson Barrett imagine #Emerson Barrett fanfic #Emerson Barrett fan fic #Emerson Barrett fan fiction #Palaye Royale imagine #Palaye Royale fanfic

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mamashitty · 5 years

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zimbits and 23? 💛💛

Title: “Just tell me why you did it!”Fandom: Check, Please!Word Count: 2,926Ship: ZimbitsFind it on my AO3 & pillowfort!Blurb: Eric has a boyfriend and Jack? He is fine with that. Totally and completely and absolutely fiiiineeee. Hey, stop looking at him like that. This takes place in an AU where the Graduation Kiss(TM?) never happened. Jack is in his second season with the Falconers and Bitty is in his senior year at Samwell and, of course, Captain of the hockey team. The prompt was: “Just tell me why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay!”I did change the punctuation a bit with the first half because it just fit better for the tone. I hope y’all enjoy!

Eric had a boyfriend.

And Jack? Jack was okay with that. He was even happy for his friend. Because that was what he and Bittle were, friends. And next to Shitty, Bittle was probably Jack’s best friend. Their relati—err… friendship might have started off a little rocky and Jack knew now with the aid of hindsight that it had all been on him, that rockiness, but they had grown past that. He wished, sometimes, that he could pinpoint the exact moment they became something like friends and not just teammates who barely spoke. He wished sometimes, that he could mark that day on a calendar, and just celebrate it by remembering. But, it had been a thing that had grown gradually, and that itself was special, Jack knew.

Their friendship was special, special enough that Jack could and would ignore that strange feeling he felt in his stomach at the fact Bittle had a boyfriend. He could also handle Bittle and that boyfriend (Doug. The boyfriend’s name was Doug (but honestly, what kind of name was Doug?)) staying the night at his place. Because that was precisely what he and Bittle were discussing right now.

“Lardo can’t make it to the game,” Jack was saying, as he attempted to get comfortable on his couch, only to give up and stand up to begin pacing around his apartment. Talking about Bittle and Doug, gave Jack a nervous kind of energy. “You and Doug can stay in my guest room and Shitty will likely end up in my bed.” Because without a warm body to cuddle, he knew where Shitty would end up.

“Or he might end up in bed with me and Doug,” Bittle said, with his honeyed laughter.

“Euh, I’ll make sure he ends up in my bed, just for you, Bud,” Jack said, even while a mental image of Shitty spooning the mysterious Doug and ruining whatever private moments could be shared between Bitty and Doug danced in his head. He did feel guilty about that thought, honest and he knew he would be dragging Shitty to his own room in order to prevent what he had just pictured from happening. Because Bittle was his friend and that was what friends do.

“Ain’t you just a sweetie pie, Jack. Thank you,” Bitty said, all soft and sweet and why did his voice make Jack just melt?

A friend’s voice probably should not do that.

“JACKABELLE, BRING THAT BEAUTEOUS ASS OVER HERE!” Shitty exclaimed loudly, his arms wide and expectant.

Jack, laughter bubbling out of lips, closed the gap between him and Shitty. He all but melted into the embrace, hugging him back tighter than was probably warranted. He missed this, hugs and being held. Living on his own, Jack was sometimes acutely aware of how touch starved he could be. He missed waking up in the middle of the night to an armful of Shitty. He missed the constant noises of the Haus. It had been two years, and he thought that he might have begun to miss it the place and the people a little less—but, no. With an armful of Shitty, he realized, how much he desperately missed it all.

“Jack,” and there behind Shitty was Bitty. Jack let his gaze linger on his friend.

“Bits,” Jack said as he disentangled himself from Shitty’s grasp. Then Bitty was launching at him, and Jack scooped him up in a hug.

“That was a great game you played,” Bitty said, his voice slightly muffled. Jack smiled, bigger than he had in days, before letting Bitty down. Suddenly, all too aware of another guy standing back, hovering awkwardly near Shitty. It dawned on Jack that that man was probably Doug.

Objectively, Doug was attractive. Tall with dark hair and light eyes. He looked like he worked out but not as much as say, a professional athlete or collegiate athlete might. He was wearing a Falconers’ shirt and Jack supposed he should appreciate the support. He also supposed that he should let go of Bittle, eh? So he did, and Bitty, laughing a little breathlessly, moved away from Jack to grab a hold of one of Doug’s arms, and tug him gently forward.

“Jack, this is Doug. Doug, this is Jack.”

Jack reached out his hand and shook Doug’s. Doug had a decent grip, Jack supposed.

“Nice to meet you, Doug.” Jack said, and then, “want to meet the rest of the guys?”

Doug looked absolutely terrified of the prospect and Jack maybe felt a little too happy about that.

—

“How are you feeling, brah?” Shitty asked as he rolled onto his side to look at Jack. Jack, he was laying on his back and staring up at his ceiling, willing his ears not to pick up any stray noises from the guest bedroom next door. Shitty was speaking at a low volume, and Jack raised an eyebrow before turning his head to look more fully at his friend. Concern was etched on Shits’ face and Jack frowned.

“I am feeling great, Shits. I played a good game of hockey and I have my best friends here to celebrate.” Jack said, deflecting even if he was not quite certain just what he was deflecting.

“Even if one of your best friends is totally spooning another dude in the room next door?” Shitty asked, and Jack rolled his eyes. He appreciated Shitty’s concern, he did. He just did not want it right now. He was not ready to talk about… that. And what that did with his heart.

“Plenty of my friends spoon other dudes, Shits. Some even fork them.” Jack deadpanned.

Shitty guffawed and punched him lightly in the arm. Jack retaliated by thwacking him across the face with his pillow. A wrestling match ensued, and soon both men were out of breath and laughing. Jack, smiling so big that his face hurt. He was happy, really. Even if there was the slightest of pangs in his heart when he did hear some muffled noises from the room next door.

“Jacko, I’ll be big spoon tonight,” Shitty said, opening his arms and Jack rolled into them. “And if you decide you are ready to talk, I’m here for you.” Shits added, barely above a whisper.

“Thanks, Shitty,” Jack said replied, just as quiet, like if they both spoke quiet enough everything could just stay unsaid even longer. Jack knew that eventually, he would have to talk to someone but for tonight, he was prepared to ignore whatever feelings were trying to wriggle their way to the forefront.

—

“Jack?”

The voice on the other end of the line was unfamiliar. Just as unfamiliar as the number. Jack had regretted answering the phone as soon as he had, his mind not really focused on what was going on. He was exhausted from a roadie and just wanted to sleep in his bed, but he had to shower still and eat something before then.

“Yes, who is this?” Jack grunted, knowing that maybe he ought to be friendlier.

“Oh! Um, Doug. Bitty’s boyfriend?” He said the last bit like a question like he was not sure he actually he was Bittle’s boyfriend. Jack rolled his eyes and then felt distinctly unkind for that action even though Doug could not see it.

“Hi, Doug,” Jack said, trying to keep his impatience out of his voice. “Did you need anything?”

“Yeah! So, Bitty and I are coming up on our six month anniversary…” and Jack knew all about that. He and Bittle had just had a conversation about that. Bitty all lovesick and Jack too, he had realized. It had hit him hard and he had finally given names to the emotions swirling within him as he heard Bittle talk, on and on, about his relationship. Jealousy and hurt and disappointment. Dash of happiness too, because even if Jack was hurting, Bittle was not. Bittle was happy and that made Jack happy—which made him realize that he probably loved Eric. And… well, at least Shitty had been able to answer his phone call right away.

Jack tried to focus on what Doug was prattling on and on about.

“So, do you think you can help me out, Jack? I know it is a lot to ask.”

What? Help out with what? Jack stared at his wall like a deer caught in headlights. “Euh… sure, but let’s go over that plan one more time, eh?” Jack stammered, and Doug was silent for a moment before he let out a breath of relief and once again began to prattle—Jack for his part, forced himself to listen and did his best to ignore the crumbling of his heart. Shitty would definitely be getting another phone call tonight.

—

It was a couple of weeks later and Jack was lounging on his bed, a rare Friday night off with no travel or games. He had had the sudden urge to hop into his truck and drive to Samwell, but he had fought that urge. The boys did not have a game going on either, and nothing going on for Saturday morning, that it was really good a kegster was being thrown at the Haus. Jack was not sure he had it in him to deal with the crowds at the party without Shitty, and Shitty was drowning in school work at Harvard. He was reaching for a book when his phone rang, and he knew it was Bitty.

Jack answered immediately, feeling concerned.

“Bits?” He asked as he answered.

“Jack,” Bitty breathed, and Jack heard rustling on the other end. He pictured Bitty laying in his own bed, and he willed his imagination to not supply Bitty in those short shorts he tended to sleep in.

“What’s up? I’m surprised you aren’t having a party tonight,” Jack said, surprised but happy he added to himself.

“Oh, the boys are throwing one. I’m just not in a partying mood, and I can’t bake in the kitchen because the Haus is full,” Bitty explained.

“Bits, what’s wrong?” Jack asked, definitely concerned now.

“I think I need to break up with Doug,” Bitty said, after a moment or two of silence. Jack was not certain he had heard Bittle correctly.

“What? Last week you were telling me that you thought you might-…” Jack did not want to say those next words out loud, so he changed track. “What happened? What did Doug do?” Because if Doug hurt Bittle… well, Jack was not entirely certain what he would do. He would be there to pick up the pieces, that much he knew, but he felt anger boiling in him that he tried to tamper down. He had to get the story first.

“Oh, honey. Doug did nothing. He’s as sweet as ever. I think he’s planning something really special for our six months… and, oh Lord I’m a monster.” Bitty said, and Jack could hear the quiver in his voice like he was fighting back tears. Jack also knew all about Doug’s plans for the six month anniversary. He was supposed to be helping Doug pull off the surprise. Jack latched, instead, on the monster part.

“Bitty, you aren’t a monster…” Jack protested.

Bitty laughed and it was bitter. A sound that Jack was not used to coming from Bitty, and it struck something in him. It made his heartache, hearing that. “Bits…”

“Jack, I lied. I lied about how much I like Doug. He’s a sweet boy, but… I’m lying. I don’t—I can’t—…” Bittle trailed off, and Jack felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. It felt like they were on the edge of something. He needed to know why Bitty would lie about that to himself, to Jack, and he supposed even to Doug, though that was more of an afterthought than anything.

“Just tell me why you did it,” Jack said, quietly. Maybe too quiet because he was unsure if Bitty had actually heard the question or not. Finally, though, he heard an intake of breath from the other line.

“Because I’m in love with you, okay! And… and I know you’ll never—… fuck. Doug, did you hear all of that?”

On the other line, Jack can hear another voice now. Then suddenly, the line was dead. Jack stared at the phone in his hand for a moment. Bitty’s words replaying, over and over in his head. They had been said with such sadness and certainty. Especially the never part that Bittle did not get to finish before being interrupted. Jack was on his feet and off the bed before he gave much thought to it

—

It had begun to rain about halfway to the Haus, but Jack continued to drive. It hardly registered when he parked the car a few blocks away. He had the foresight to grab a hat to pull low over his eyes, and a light jacket that he always left in his car was pulled on before he stepped out of the car and headed to the Haus at a jog. The kegster was still going on when he approached it, music thrumming loudly. He entered the Haus and was grateful when no one paid him any mind. He kept his head low, and went towards the kitchen first—but there was no Bittle.

He reached in his pocket for his phone, only to realize he must have left it back at home. Jack’s gaze went up towards the ceiling, and he left the kitchen, careful not to bump into anyone. He did not have a plan, really. He just knew that he had needed to see Bitty after that confession. That… Bitty… he loved… and Jack. Jack needed to see Bitty, and so he had driven all the way from Providence to do that. And.. then what? Jack tried to shut his thoughts off as he went up the stairs and approached Bitty’s closed door.

He stared at the door for a full minute. Then he knocked.

“M’not in the mood for company,” came Btty’s muffled voice and Jack felt his heart crumble. Instinctively, he went to open the door but found it locked. He wondered if Bitty had heard that or not, so he knocked once more on the door.

“Lord, leave me alone, please.” Bitty pleaded.

“Bits… It’s me…” Jack called, a little louder than he would have liked but he wanted to make sure Bittle heard him. He heard movement on the other side of the door and suddenly, there was Bitty, just standing there. His eyes were red-rimmed from crying, his cheeks puffy and wet. Jack was dimly aware of the rumpled Samwell Men’s Hockey shirt he was wearing and the pajama pants. His gaze mostly focused on Bittle’s face. Absolutely beautiful and broken looking with the tears.

“Jack…”

“Because I’m in love with you, okay?” Jack said, repeating what Bittle had said over the phone less than an hour before. Bitty opened his mouth to say something, his face etched with confusion. Jack, not much for words but getting better all the time with them thanks to Shitty, his psychiatrist, and Bittle himself, decided to let his body do the talking. He stepped into Bittle’s room and reached out to gently cup his face, before leaning down to kiss him.

He felt Bitty tense and Jack tensed himself until suddenly, Bittle was kissing him back.

—

Jack was mindlessly tracing shapes with his finger, up and down Bitty’s back. Bitty’s head was on Jack’s chest, and there was a comfort to the weight of Bitty on him. Jack sighed, content and Bitty craned his head up, tilting until he could press a chaste kiss to Jack’s chin. Jack smiled.

“I feel so bad about Doug,” Bitty spoke up, quiet. Jack instinctively tightened his grip on Bitty.

“He is going to be okay, Bud,” Jack said, and he wondered if he ought to feel more guilty than he did, with how everything seemed to be playing out. Except, he was far too content holding Bitty right now. He mostly disliked the fact that Bitty felt bad and guilty.

“I should not have dated him as long as I did,” Bitty continued. “I just kept hoping that eventually… those feelings I was faking for him, would turn true, you know? That eventually I would be able to get over you. But lord was I wrong and foolish. The longer I was with him… well, nothing worked. I kept wishing harder he was you.” Bitty finished, and he hid his face against Jack’s neck and Jack shivered at feeling Bitty’s breath there.

“I kept wishing I was him too,” Jack said, quietly.

And he had wished that he were in Doug’s position hundreds of times over the past few months. Bitty looked up at him, an eyebrow raised.

“Doug said you were helping with his plans for our anniversary,” Bitty said, his voice neutral to Jack’s ears.

“I was going to help,” Jack began, bringing his hand up to play with Bitty’s hair. “I figured… if I couldn’t be with you then… euh I wanted to—..” Jack paused, trying to collect his thoughts. “If Doug made you happy then I wanted to help him make you happy.”

“Oh Jack,” Bitty said, quiet and sweet. Then they were kissing again, and well… Jack could get used to that. He knew they had a lot more to discuss but for now, he would enjoy their pockets of conversation and kisses between those.

#omgcp #zimbits #eric bittle #jack zimmermann #shitty knight #omgcp fic #a.shitty writes #a.shitty fics #a.shitty fills a prompt

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loquaciousquark · 5 years

Text

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E56 (March 26, 2019)

Gooooood evening, everyone. @eponymous-rose is taking a well-deserved break, so I’m stepping in to ruin reputations and botch direct quotations all over the place. Here to give us the appropriate gravitas and fear for the evening is the Chamber of Chairs:

Tonight’s guests: Liam O’Brien & Marisha Ray. Dani flips Liam off to start the show and it’s pretty funny. “What did I doooo?”

Tonight’s announcements: Last night was the season finale of Between the Sheets, featuring Ashly Burch, who is shockingly short in person. The VOD’s up for subscribers now, and it’ll be posted on YT tomorrow for everyone else. The Ashley Johnson episode will be up soon! Yay! Remember, no new episode of CR this week, and no new episode of TM next Tuesday as a result. Normal CR broadcasting resumes April 4. The Kickstarter hit $8 million today. Liam: “Oh boy oh boy oh boy it’s fine it’s fine IT’S FINE.” The final goal is $8.8m with 23 days to go, and a behind-the-scenes filming of the theme song was posted today on the KS. The video’s actually pretty cool & features Ashley in a feather boa!

Anyway! Episode 56: The Favor

CR Stats! This was the shortest episode of this campaign at 2h19m15s of gameplay. Only Shopping and Shipping from C1 was shorter. This episode tied for the fewest spells cast in one episode (six) and all were cast by Caleb. Over the 44 episodes & 136 days the M9 had the dodecahedron, they gained 25 fragments of possibility and actually utilized 13.

Liam and Marisha talk about having a timer in the office: “It has been 27 days since the last Holy Fuck ending.”

None of them thought Matt was going to cut it off at that point, but when he explained he wanted Taliesin there for the next part, it made sense to all of them & they all agreed it was for the best.

Beau has four thousand thoughts racing through her head right now. One of them is excitement about getting to learn the Kryn more, but she’s also terrified. Henry interrupts with the most adorable baying howl and he walks offstage. What a good pupper.

Liam describes the moment as everyone frozen in amber as they wait for the next episode. Beau will figure out something to her advantage between now and then.

Marisha likens this moment to the Emon attack and the Lorenzo fight with Molly in terms of emotional shock. Brian remembers Sam was in a tux that night; Marisha: “I knew it was going to be a funeral tux.”

There’s another question about how Marisha/Beau feels about the dodeca handoff, and both Liam and Marisha start laughing about how this entire TM episode is just going to be about the ramifications of Caleb’s decision. Liam: “No regrets,” but he understands there’s going to be a lot of fallout. They talk about how the ramifications will depend on how public the Krynn make their gift: will it be parades in the streets, a handshake and dismissal from a private room, etc? What if there was a Dairon-type spy in the room who’ll tell people they don’t want to know about their actions? They’re eager and afraid to see the fallout.

Brian points out everyone could see on Travis’s face he would rather have gone to jail, but further discussion is derailed by questions.

The group had discussed the possibility of handing off the dodecahedron in the past, but he hadn’t considered ever handing it off until the last sixty seconds when “everything was going to shit. It was more mathematical than anything. It felt a lot like Avantika. We’ve got a plan, the plan’s broken, but we can get away, no, we can’t get away, now this is changing--I don’t want someone outside our group to control the situation if I can act first, if I can punch first. Everyone’s trying to negotiate and it’s failing, I don’t want to give up this thing either, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, here’s--this.” Caleb wanted to save the group. He wouldn’t have taken the gamble even two minutes earlier. Then, suddenly as it began to work, he & Caleb began realizing that not only did it work, but it worked very well and now his brain had split into two: “oh, thank God, I care about these people, I can save them,” and “how do I use this to my advantage.”

Caleb was quiet through most of this episode because he really wanted to discuss several things in private with other group members--that’s what he was thinking about for most of this.

Dani points out everyone expected physical travel between this fight & the audience with the queen where there would be downtime to discuss things. None of them expected immediate teleportation.

If Beau had been in a position to stop Caleb from giving up the beacon, she would not have stopped him.

Beau was wincing as Nott & Jester asked questions they should have already known the answers to. Liam points out it’s the war room in Dr. Strangelove--only the most powerful people would have been there. Beau dislikes authority but doesn’t think she’s stupid enough to have gotten herself seen as an obvious traitor.

Everyone revels in Matt’s Caduceus impression.

GIF of the Week: Liam pulling the dodeca out of the haversack by Will D. Brian singsongs “Travis is tilted~, Travis is tilted, look at his face~” over the GIF playing. Haaaaaahaha, poor Travis.

Liam: “I think I’m just in the shithouse.” Marisha: “You blew the shit whistle.”

Brief hilarious aside where they discuss Tetanus Terry (ft. on Travis Willingham’s YeeHaw Game Ranch) & Caleb Widogast getting fully replaced by Terry as a backup character if he gets assassinated.

On a scale of 1-10, Beau is following Dairon’s advice to a 7. She’s trying not to get attached, not to die, to listen, to not get impatient, to not be biased. She’s probably going to get closer to people than Dairon would suggest, but thinks she’s trying pretty hard.

It wasn’t cathartic for Caleb to renounce the Empire like this. His parents were very pro-Empire, and now that he’s on this journey to atone for his parents’ deaths, he’s done exactly the last thing his parents ever, ever wanted him to do--walked into the heart of the enemy and gave them everything they wanted. (Brian, Liam, & Dani briefly rag on Tumblr still having faint life somewhere. “Female-presenting nipples” comes up. It’s funny and also very sad.)

Brian discusses how it’s a big moment, but it’s not a victory for the group. Caleb was just shooting for a short-term immediate solution. Marisha: “It feels like a sitcom bait-and-switch. Nah, it’s cool, guys, we’re gonna pretend to be waiters and we’ll sneak into the kitchen,” but then they sneak into the kitchen and the cook laughs that the sous-chef is out today, and “now we’re in over our heads!”

Brian reveals dramatically that last night he came out as a supporter of Liam for President of D&D Beyond. Liam: “Beneath all the chicanery & hair product, there is common sense."

Liam & Marisha talk about the difference between Nott/Caleb’s original first podunk jail and this potential maximum security prison.

Caleb imagined the BDSM straps over his shirt and coat. Apparently most of the fanart generated this week has failed to include them.

Both Marisha & Liam VEHEMENTLY agree they hated not being able to be main parts of the Brightqueen talks. They also talk about how they both are far better at CHA than Nott & Jester, though they point out in fairness that Matt’s told them he always adjusts the social DCs based on the arguments they make.

As far as the slavery part of the disguise, Marisha: “Marisha has laughed at every piece of fanart. Beau was surprised. Beau’s gonna have a talk.” She (Beau) felt they had discussed the costumes, the pretense--but not the bullying & active degradation her group put her through. It was huge, an eye-opening moment for Beau in a way she (Beau & Marisha) absolutely did not expect. She never thought they would abuse their status over her in that way.

They discuss how on a meta sense, they all knew that the scene was just Travis and Laura trolling them and having fun at their expense, but at the same time it’s still happening in game and will have in-game consequences. Marisha: “It’s like at a party where your good friend starts getting a little too drunk and starts making fun of you a little too much--it’s a little too real.”

That said, one of Marisha’s favorite fanarts from this week was Beau (as a table) swearing under her breath at Jester with her feet up. It’s an interesting juxtaposition.

Fanart of the Week: The Brightqueen by Nikki Dawes.

Beau does not feel she’s betrayed anyone by being present at this event. She knows where her allegiances lie, so just because this happened doesn’t mean it’s changed anything about what she believes. That said, she has no love for the Empire. She’s very personal with whom she cares about. She doesn’t have as much obvious disdain as Caleb does--she’s just more indifferent.

Caleb has a high CHA that he just doesn’t use anymore, because the people he knew with high CHA that used it did so to do bad things. Liam thinks when Caleb was young he was very gifted, charming, and attracted people to him; now it’s all gone. He can hold it together like a sandcastle by the tide for an hour, but in the end it always washes away.

On Nott speaking for the group: Marisha always likes hearing Sam talk. In some ways Marisha felt it was the same thing she used to get for Keyleth-- "why are you talking? You shouldn’t be talking. You shouldn’t be the talker.” Everyone should have their own voice, regardless of the scores on the page. “Your stats are there to influence the effects of what happens; they’re not the Bible. They’re not law.” She reminds us Vex once entered an arm-wrestling contest with a strength of 7.

How does Beau feel now that Caleb’s made another huge decision without consulting the rest of the M9 (i.e. Bowlgate)? It’ll play out in game. It’s a big deal. Liam admits he loves it. “The whole point is conflict resolution, so you need conflict.” He loves things like this, like the Astrid letter, because it opens opportunities to explore characters. In some ways it’s the same thing: they were in an impossible situation and Caleb sees it as protecting his friends, but that’s not how it read to anyone else. Marisha points out that once again he made himself the authority to make this huge decision without discussing it with anyone else in the group.

Marisha and Liam start talking about the decision more, decide it should wait for the game, but then keep talking despite themselves. Marisha points out that on top of his (once-again) unilateral decision, his speech was also framed selfishly (”I did this thing, I brought this back to you,”). To her, it still feels like the same thing with Caleb deciding things with major consequences for the rest of the group without their input, though she admits it’s colored by their (Beau’s & Caleb’s) history. Liam talks about how in the moment he was scared of deception checks, so he just tried to be as truthful as possible--nothing he said was false because he was only speaking for himself. He could not have spoken for the group & still been truthful. It’s a really interesting dichotomous discussion, both of them talking about what they felt in the moment versus how it came across to everyone else.

Liam feels it’s more like seeing someone dying in front of them & wasting time discussing whether they should do CPR or not, rather than him making decisions for the whole group. Marisha’s face obviously disagrees (so do I, ahaha). Liam also thought they were going to continue the episode & talk more, which would have kept it from being as much about him. This is gonna be super interesting when it actually plays out, for sure.

Once again, no new CR this Thursday or TM next Tuesday. Most of the rest of the programming will stay the same. This Tuesday’s Mame Drop will feature Max James of CR production fame.

We end on this eldritch horror:

"Weuuuh, Caleb knows best! Caleb will make the decisions for all of us in this D&D game!”

Aaand we’re out. Stay turnt.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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leonbastralle · 5 years

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for the ask meme: black nail polish; pantone; cactus; sunrise; oil paints; bands; marble ((ily 💖))

hi baby! thank you for sending me all these i loved answering them and i rambled so much i hope this is to ur liking i’m so sorry for the mess but ily2 (i typed 3 which is valid tbh)

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

as your local pessimist, that’s one of the few lists i’ve always been afraid to make, but there ARE some things i rly rly want to do like, y’know, visit like…certain people. you know. that’d be cool. and hold them. also going back to paris would be nice and i’ve always wanted to see some national parks in the us, but that one…extremely unrealistic tbh.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

ok let me tell you about my best friend. she’s very smol and so very cute that when i look at her sometimes i want to cry (and no it’s not bad tears just tears of regret bc her face is so holdable and i can’t hold it). she’s rly kind and supportive and patient even tho i’m a hugeass shit 80% of the time, and she’s so very smart and talented and passionate about the things she does. one of my favorite things is when she rants abt games (and lore) bc she gets all serious and it’s so beautiful she’s a nerd i love her so much. talking to her is great bc she’s funny and inspires my memebrain (and metabrain) and boy she can be smooth too but please don’t tell her that bc i don’t want to be killed. she’s a real trooper and badass and i’m rly proud of her for getting this far and i’m counting on her to keep killing it i’m her biggest fan even tho she deserves better tbh. if you wanna know more you know where to find me ;)

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

BROWN EYES ARE SO VALID!! like……..dark brown. is such a good color. like dark chocolate i love dark chocolate i love barely being able to tell apart iris and pupil i just…idk dark brown eyes are good and lighter brown eyes?? fuck yes ofc that too gimme that sweet ombre i have a thing for eyes generally can you tell oops

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

oKAY HERE ARE THREE HANDPICKED ANNIE FAVES TM:

1) the sunrise, of course, doesn’t care if we watch it or not. it will keep on being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it- gene amole

basically the most aesthetic way to tell me to stop giving so many fucks abt attention and opinions because they’re not what makes things good (which is smth i have so far failed to learn)

2) why can’t people just sit and read books and be nice to each other? - david baldacci

the biggest mood. i’m so done with shitty humans and books are good so honestly why not just do that let’s just read books in peace and stop being shits (also we should read books together some time just saying)

3) i think we all just want someone who can see the beauty we can’t see in ourselves. not someone that romanticizes the mess and calls it beautiful, but someone that walks boldly into our brokenness, sees us spread-eagle in the middle of the wreckage and says that we’re worth salvaging.- maxwell diawouh

i don’t think there’s a lot to say abt this one but stuff like that always opens my eyes so much (for like 2 minutes max let’s be honest). boy i sure wish i could put things that are like…so much at the core of everything into beautiful words as someone who never has words i truly envy

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

getting by just so, or my personal favorite: how did she even get there? scientists can’t tell. or: a series of regrets

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

hmmmmm this is difficult since…music is kinda 70% of my life rip so everything is kinda important, but the songs that will always be closest to my heart like…timelessly are the ones i listen to when i’m feeling down or need to calm down? the songs i have cried to repeatedly oops. there’s the famed max richter, also smile? i used to listen to smile to cry so much which is ironic but it happened. also prolly dear friends by queen? and be still by the killers, to name a few. oH and my go to song to get rid of aggression and b r e a t h e aka boulevard of broken dreams (so cliche i know) that’s some tunes that have kept me company and picked me back up and i‘m sure there’s more and specific lyrics too but that’s been some rambling already i’ll be sure to update you when smth comes to my mind!

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

uhhh good question tbh i’m…kinda just floating but i know i rly rly want to keep studying that’s like my number one goal and just like…to Live? to keep appreciating and rly being aware of all the neat lil details around me i think that’s rly important to me rn.

#non-sims #saviorhide #ask annie #random facts about annie #replies #pixeldemographics #dw i have seen the other ask im just struggling to answer

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trdwriting · 7 years

Text

Moving Pains

Summary: After graduating college, Wilbur decides to move out of the Robinson household to live on his own. Carl doesn’t take the news very well.

Content Warnings: Two instances of foul language.

Portals: Fanfiction.net | AO3

A/N: Thanks to @that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat for requesting this. We were talking about headcannons after I wrote my 10th anniversary Meet The Robinsons fic and we got on the subject of Carl and Wilbur having an argument if Wilbur were to ever move out of the house. Thus, this fic was born!

This fic takes place in the same universe as my last one-shot “Revisited”, so George is making a return as Wilbur’s boyfriend. Hopefully, you all find him just as interesting as Wilbur, haha!

Wilbur uncapped the black Sharpie lying next to his leg and labelled the box he had recently taped shut “Winter Clothes”. He carried the box to the door and sat it alongside other cardboard boxes piled nearby. Packing up all his belongings was more of a transformative experience that he had originally anticipated. After many months of stomach aching, searching and discussion with his boyfriend, George, Wilbur had decided to move out of the Robinson household and live in a nearby apartment. Wilbur and his boyfriend both had secure jobs- him as a burgeoning video game developer and George as a staff writer for a local magazine. They had found an affordable apartment out closer to the city center. The floor space was rather small; there were two rooms and a bathroom. But it was cozy. George had moved the last of his belongings into their space yesterday. Wilbur was moving the bulk of his stuff today. His biggest worry with this transition had been his family. All his life, they had been more than supportive to pretty much anything he did (outside of abjectly stupid choices), but his entire extended family lived under one roof. For him to move out was against tradition. Because of this, Wilbur confessed his desire to live on his own as casually as possible over dinner, not knowing what to expect. The reactions were mixed. Uncle Joe sobbed, sucking his thumb vigorously (though he reacted that way if he didn’t eat on schedule, so that didn’t mean too much). His grandpa cheered for him, and his two uncles clapped him on the back. Aunt Petunia rolled her eyes and complained that his new “boy toy” was making him forget about the family. His mother and father wore indiscernible reactions on their faces. They looked at each other, exchanging information in just a glance. The rest of the family was swept up with mumbles.

His parents pulled him aside for a TalkTM, but ultimately, they encouraged him. His mother understood, as she had moved in with Cornelius after they had become a serious couple. “Should I be expecting an engagement announcement soon?” she asked him playfully, smirking at Wilbur. He just blushed and scrubbed at the back of his neck.

His father’s response was noncommittal. He said, “Well, as long as you are happy, I think you should do it. You are old enough to live on your own” and left the conversation at that. Wilbur could sense that his father was holding something else back, but he didn’t push the issue.

With his parent’s blessing, Wilbur was slowly gathering his belongings together. The rest of the family helped him out, making the actual move an easy affair. Uncle Art offered up his flying saucer as transportation, though Wilbur declined because he wasn’t sure if Uncle Art was allowed to use the company vehicle for personal purposes. Everyone else searched the house for anything that was Wilbur’s and brought it to him, so he could decide from there what to do with it.

Carl was the exception. Ever since he broke the news about his move, the robot hadn’t spoken much to Wilbur. Anytime they did talk, Carl fiddled with his hands and avoided eye contact at all costs. The conversations were brief and never about anything too serious. Whenever Wilbur asked him what was wrong, Carl would come up with some excuse and zip away before Wilbur had a chance to stop him.

Wilbur had started wrapping up his Captain Time Travel figures when he heard a knock on the door. Carl peered into Wilbur’s room, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Hey. Can I come in?” he asked, almost in a whisper. Wilbur beamed at his friend, standing up to meet him at the doorway.

“Yeah, of course, Carl.”

After Carl stepped inside, he narrowed his optics and looked away from Wilbur, tapping his metallic fingers against where his chin would be if his face weren’t a smooth cylinder shape. He turned back to Wilbur, ready to say something, but he paused, frowning. Wilbur arched an eyebrow, waiting for Carl to find his words.

“Look…Wilbur…uh…” Carl’s optics darted around the room, sticking onto places were his belongings were missing. “I…I’m really happy about you and George. You know, he’s…he’s a good kid. And I’m really proud of you! Super proud of all the things you’ve done and seriously…being your friend has been…such a gift.”

“…But?” Wilbur knew what was coming.

Carl gave him a deep sigh. “…but…I really don’t think you should move out.”

There it was. Although Carl hadn’t said as much, Wilbur had a feeling this is what Carl had been refusing to talk about. Wilbur swallowed back his frustration. “Why?” he asked, as he returned to packing.

“Well…you already have a home here! You don’t need to live away from us, you know?” Wilbur took another sheet of wrapping paper as he listened to Carl speak. “It’s a lot of work to live on your own, too. You have to pay your own bills and make your own food and- “

“Dude, I know. That’s why I want to move out. I’ve never done anything without the family before and…I want that to change. I think learning to be self-sufficient would be a good thing for me.” Wilbur loved his family-always had, always will. He was proud to be a Robinson, but sometimes he wished to exist as a more independent entity. People had associated his face with his father’s his whole life. He wanted an existence outside of that shadow, at least as much of one as he could.

Carl changed the subject. “Well…maybe George could move in here. We have plenty of room.”

“George wouldn’t want that. You know how he gets all shy when he is around too many people. The Robinsons would drive him nuts!”

When Carl didn’t say anything, Wilbur spoke up. “Look, Carl…George and I…We are in a serious relationship now. This isn’t one of my high school dates that I broke up with after three months. I’ve been with him for two years now.” Wilbur met Carl’s eyes. “I want to take the next step with him. Who knows, maybe some time down the line, we’ll get engaged.” His face blossomed red at the words. “But we won’t know if that’s the right move unless we spend time living with each other.”

Wilbur could hear the way Carl joints creaked as he moved and he imagined Carl was wildly gesticulating, the way he always did when he was passionately speaking. “So what? You don’t need to move away when you have a serious relationship. I haven’t moved out of this house once in all my years of dating!”

“All of your ‘dates’ lived here already, Carl! There was no need to move.”

“Well, if they didn’t live here, then I wouldn’t move anyway. A little biking never hurt anyone.”

Wilbur glared at Carl from the box he was packing. “Why are you bringing all of this up now? Right as I’m about to leave when you could’ve mentioned this to me at any point these last few weeks? I’m almost completely packed!”

Carl’s mouth flapped open and shut like a fish. He fidgeted. “I...I was having a hard time coming up with what to say. I mean, you seemed so dead-set on leaving, I…I only just now figured out all of my thoughts.”

“That’s such a lie.” Wilbur muttered.

“I’m telling you the truth!”

He felt all the seams of his composure break at the same time, his bile pouring out all at once. “You’ve never had a real relationship in your life! They were all with appliances!”

Wilbur regretted saying that as soon as it came out of his mouth. Carl stood there, shocked. If he had tear ducts, he would most certainly be crying. Before Wilbur could apologize, Carl left his room, sobbing.

The next day, Wilbur ate dinner with his family, his last dinner at home while living under the Robinson roof. The family found the occasion momentous enough for celebration, so they ate more dessert than usual- lava cakes, macaroons, apple pie and even ice cream sundaes. Wilbur could only stomach a bit of the lavish food. He probably would have had a larger apetite if a wad of guilt wasn’t weighing his stomach down. In between small bites of ice cream, he would glance at Carl, but Carl never met his eyes. He busied himself with serving the food and collecting any dirty dishes to be cleaned later. Wilbur glanced back down at his ice cream, suddenly feeling his stomach twist. He pushed the sundae away from him, the treat turning to ash on his tongue.

“Wilbur, why aren’t you eating your ice cream?” Cousin Lazlo asked, fiddling with his paint gun. “You love ice cream.”

At that comment, the whole table looked to Wilbur. He sat up a bit and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I’m just not that hungry right now. It was good, though.” He didn’t bother to look up. He knew his family were probably concerned, but Wilbur couldn’t be bothered to care.

Carl made no comment about Wilbur not finishing his favorite dessert. He merely stretched his arm over the length of the table and scooped the now- sundae soup without so much as a concern tilt of the head. As soon as his dishes were taken away, Wilbur got up from the table, heading back to his room.

“Wilbur?” He turned around when his dad called his name, hands in his pockets. Cornelius’s arms were folded over his chest. “Is everything okay?”

Wilbur drew a hand through his hair. “Yeah…yeah. I’m fine, Dad.” When Cornelius’s eyebrows didn’t lower, he realized that his father didn’t believe him at all. Not surprising. “Alright…no, I’m not fine.”

The creases in Cornelius’s face softened. He came closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No…I got it, Dad. I just got to talk to Carl and apologize for being a shithead,” he mumbled, ignoring the sour look Cornelius gave him at his curse. “Trust me. I know what to do.”

“Alright, son,” Cornelius pat Wilbur’s shoulder. “If you need anything, you know who to talk to.” Wilbur watched him walk away before heading to the kitchen, where Carl was planning out the next meal for the family. He had his head in the refrigerator when Wilbur cleared his throat. “Carl?”

He heard a metallic clank and a muffled ow. Carl emerged, rubbing the back of his head. “Jeez, Wilbur. You scared me!”

“Sorry.” Wilbur put his hands into his pockets again. “So, Carl. I just…came here to apologize for, y’know what I said to you and everything. It was pretty stupid of me and…and it wasn’t cool.” Wilbur studied Carl, waiting for the forgiveness that he was positive would be coming.

Instead, Carl just looked back at Wilbur blankly. “That’s it? That’s your apology.”

“What else am I supposed to say? I’m sorry for what I said about you.”

Carl huffed. “Do you think that’s going to make me feel better? Look, I’m sure you are sorry, bro, but I’m still hurt. What you said…….that was pretty painful. I’m not….I’m sorry, but I can’t forgive you just yet, okay?” Carl turned away from Wilbur, focusing on writing out a list of ingredients.

“Why not? I didn’t mean what I said!”

“You still said it.” Carl said bitterly. A rather awkward pause passed between them, heavy with Carl’s cold shoulder. Wilbur left without a word, getting Carl’s message.

Wilbur sat on the couch in his new apartment, playing a new video game he bought, hoping it would lift his spirits. Being stuck on the same jump wasn’t helping his mood. He groaned as the lost his last life to the same empty pit, tossing the controller to the side.

He cradled his face in his hands, so he only felt the couch dip when George took a seat next to him. “Couldn’t beat the level?” he asked. Wilbur felt a gentle hand rub between his shoulder blades.

He peered out from between his fingers at George. “No. I couldn’t.”

“Something up?” George had gotten good at reading his emotions over the years. Too good, sometimes.

Wilbur sat fully upright, the curve of his back pressed along the back of the couch. “It’s been a week and Carl still won’t talk to me. I’m starting to think that we might never be friends again.”

Wilbur heard George heave a sigh. “You’re exaggerating again, cariño.”

“Am I?” he huffed. “I apologized to him the day after we fought and yet he still won’t talk to me.” He stared up at the ceiling. “He told me he couldn’t forgive me yet, but I have a feeling maybe he never will forgive me! He’s never been this quiet before. Every time we’ve ever disagreed on something, we’ve always made up by the end of the day. But now…I don’t know if I can ever fix up what happened…What do I even do?”

A hand rested on Wilbur’s knee and he turned to look at George. To save what little resolve he had, he didn’t meet George’s hazel eyes. Wilbur couldn’t afford to get lost in them. He focused on his nose instead, narrowing on the minute shrinking and flaring of the nostrils.

It took him a moment to realize George was calling his name. “Sorry, what?” he asked, looking up, finally creating eye contact.

“I said, you need to give Carl some time. You obviously hurt him a lot. He is allowed not to forgive you, you know?”

Wilbur’s shoulder sunk. “Yeah, yeah…I know.” His head drooped with his sagging shoulders until George took his jaw in his hand and brought their eye contact together again.

“But…you and Carl have been friends since you were a baby. I have a feeling someone who put up with you as a bratty kid will be able to forgive you for being an idiot.”

Wilbur pouted. “I take offense with that.”

George’s mouth twitched to a smile, but his lips fell again. “Besides, I can’t really blame Carl for being upset about your moving out. He never liked me very much.”

What? He didn’t know what George was saying. Everyone loved him! “Dude, c’mon. Why would Carl not like y-“ The answer hit him in the face like a wet washcloth. “…You think he was jealous of us?”

George nodded. It was his turn to break eye contact. “He was okay with me when we were just friends, but…I think at some point he noticed that I had a crush on you and…well….”

Wilbur thought back to before they started dating, looking for evidence of George’s claims, but he came back empty-handed. “What do you mean? I don’t remember Carl acting weird around you. He might’ve while we were dating, but….”

“He was, cariño. Créeme.”

Wilbur wanted to believe his boyfriend was mistaken, but considering how wounded Carl had seemed after he had left the Robinson household didn’t give much hope to an alternative explanation. Wilbur took George’s hand. George turned to look at him, gently chewing the inside of his cheek like he always did when he was thinking.

Wilbur let go of his hand and wrapped it around his waist, resting his head against George’s wild chestnut hair. “You know, I’m really happy we moved in together.”

George tilted his head, but didn’t say anything. His wore a genuine smile on his lips, the kind that warmed his stomach the way a recent sip of hot chocolate did. “Me, too.”

Their lips met, gentle and loving. Wilbur cupped one of George’s cheeks and traced his cheekbone out with his thumb. After a few softer pecks, they separated. Wilbur smiled, moving his hand from his cheek to just along his jaw.

“Remember that one time when Carl caught us making out in my room?”

Wilbur snickered when George’s face immediately flushed, the red bleeding onto his neck. “Don’t remind me.” He grumbled in Spanish.

“I think he was more upset than you.” Wilbur said through a chuckle, replying in the same language.

George wrinkled his nose and squinted his eyes at Wilbur. He had shifted so their hips were touching. “Why are you bringing up the most embarrassing moment of my life?”

George’s expression was so cute that Wilbur needed a couple extra seconds to translate. “Well..” he put their foreheads together. “....because the way you kissed me was unforgettable.”

Wilbur’s heart kicked up a couple of notches when George smirked a bit and shook his head, chuckling. “You make it sound like that was the best kiss you ever had from me. We’ve shared an awful lot of them.”

Wilbur shrugged, trying to seem as unaffected as possible, even though George sometimes made it hard to breath. “Mind sharing some more with me?”

George replied by kissing Wilbur until his lips were red with them.

Dust floated in and out of the sliver of light spilling into Carl’s room as he shuffled through his belongings. As he quietly organized tools, he noticed a picture frame that had somehow wedged itself behind his desk. He retrieved it and almost immediately he wanted to return it to the dark corner of his room where it came from. A younger Wilbur, George and him smiled up from the frame, arms wrapped around each other. Carl was in the middle with Wilbur and George on either side. The two boys were no older than ten. Wilbur still had his rounded baby cheeks and George’s hair was long enough to almost cover his eyes.

Carl sighed (a purely vocal sigh, as he had no air to expel. It came out more like he had just discovered he could make sounds at all), cradling the frame in his palms. Wilbur, George and him had been in separable for Wilbur’s entire existence. The two boys had been in the same kindergarten class. From that point on, if he saw one of the boys, he guessed the other was not too far away. In the beginning, he had assumed their friendship would morph into a strong brotherly affection. That’s how Carl saw Wilbur anyway. (Technically, they shared a father.) When George was thirteen, their relationship shifted. They were still friends- always spending time together, but Carl could sense a tension between them- subtle enough to ignore, but strong enough to make their interactions minutely different. George would often cast glances at Wilbur when he wasn’t looking and Wilbur would do the same. He was surprised when Wilbur and George dated other people, expecting for a confession to come at any time. Finally, they started dating once Wilbur went off to college. And now…well…Wilbur was living with George.

Ah yes…He recalled the bitter argument he and Wilbur had before he left. Wilbur’s claim that he would never understand human romance still buzzed in his audio processors …Carl would admit that he was not the best with people, but Cornelius had programmed him well enough to see how much George meant to Wilbur. He understood the desire to stay around someone you cared about, especially someone you loved. He understood it, but it was still upsetting to see his best friend leave.

He recalled the apology Wilbur had given him the day after, while he was in the kitchen. Logically, Carl knew that Wilbur didn’t want to leave things on bad terms and probably felt horrible about what he said, but emotionally, Carl hadn’t been able to accept the apology. Wilbur’s word had felt shallow to him. Not because Wilbur didn’t honestly feel sorry for his actions, but more that Wilbur had expected Carl to forgive him. In some ways, that stung more than anything Wilbur had said. Couldn’t Wilbur see that he needed time to heal? That he couldn’t say that everything was okay when they clearly were not?

He was so lost in his melancholy that he almost didn’t hear the knock on his door. “Carl?”

Carl felt his gears shift, taken aback. He was not expecting to here Wilbur’s voice call to him. He set the photo down and opened the door. Wilbur cleared his throat. “Hey, Carl. Can we talk for a bit?”

Carl resisted the urge to leap at Wilbur and hug him. “Yeah.” He stepped out of his room completely. “Uh…so…Wilbur…”

Wilbur help up his hand. “Let me go first. Carl, I’m sorry about what I said to you before I moved out. It was…shitty of me and I feel really, really bad about it. I know that your relationships are important to you. I mean, you are one of the most understanding and loving guys I know. For me to insult you like that…well, I really messed up. And then when I expected you to be in a place to forgive me right after what happened… ” Wilbur was silent for a moment, letting what he said stew before continuing. “The reason I was so upset when we had that argument was because I was expecting you to support me, but I didn’t really think about your feelings and that a change like this is going to affect the people around me.”

Carl blinked, his lips twitching in a smile. He knew that Wilbur had a lot of pride, always thinking he knew what was best, that he had everything under control. For him to admit his weakness meant a lot. “I…I was really upset that you were moving out. Not because you were doing anything…you know, wrong…I just….” He sniffled. “…didn’t want you to grow up so fast. I mean, one minute you’re this…little buddy that wears space onesies…” He saw Wilbur roll his eyes at that comment. “…and the next, you’ve got a boyfriend! Next thing I know, you’re gonna be bringing home little buddies of your own and…. and…Oh, Wilbur! I’m gonna miss you so much!”

His resolve crumbled as he roped Wilbur into a hug. He didn’t notice he was squeezing too hard until Wilbur wheezed at him to let up, which he did. “Gosh, I’m so proud of you! I think you should name one of your kids after me.”

Wilbur’s cheeks were a deep shade of red and he coughed. Instead of responding, he clapped his hand on Carl’s spindly shoulder. “Thanks, pal. I’ll try to stop by more, okay?”

Carl nodded eagerly. “And I’ll stop by your new crib too. You have to show me around.”

“Maybe in a little while. There’s still some unpacking we have to do.”

The two of them chatted until Wilbur wrinkled his nose. “Something smells like it’s burning.”

Suddenly, Carl gasped and sped away to the nearest travel tube, yelling “NO! NOT THE APPLE PIE!” as he left. Wilbur chuckled and shook his head. He followed after him. Wilbur wasn’t going to miss out Carl’s apple pie for the world, even if it was a little burnt.

Translation Notes:

-cariño= (literally: affection) term of endearment; equivalent to honey or sweetie.

-Créeme.= Believe me.

I am not fluent in Spanish, so I appreciate any feedback. I want to be as accurate as possible.

Thank you for reading this work. I hope you all enjoyed it! Additional thank yous to @that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat for the request.

I have accounts on AO3 (TheRationalDove), Fanfiction.net (The Rational Dove) and Tumblr (tdrwritings). Want to request a fanfic? Send me an ask or PM!

-TheRationalDove

#Meet the Robinsons #fanfiction #that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat #wilbur robinson #oc #carl mtr #cornelius robinson #franny robinson #other misc robinsons #hurt/confort #family drama #more like a ittle slice of life scene #yeah #i can tag things

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beccas-a-cipher · 5 years

Text

Karaoke

Originally posted: 20 May, 2018

Oh my gosh, was this really the first one?! I think about this oneshot way too often with the season two drama... songs used make me SAD now... I forgot that this was really the very first oneshot I ever posted for Magiclicas XD

"S-So, where do you want to go?" Kai asked nervously to his Magiclica friend (crush) over the phone.

"I have someplace in mind. Meet you outside the cafe at seven?" Quinston's smooth accent replied.

"Yeah, sure. See you," Kai said as he hung up the phone. As soon as he did, he immediately started a nervous giggle. "Yes!"

"You alright in there, Kai?" Haiden knocked on Kai's door. He jumped and nearly fell off his bed, knocking a cup of water on his nightstand over.

"Y-Yeah! I-I'm good!" Kai called. Haiden audibly grunted.

"Okay..." The aura manipulator could hear Haiden's footsteps fade away, and a giddy smile snuck onto his face.

"Ugh, I need to stop feeling so happy around him..." Kai whispered to himself, although he knew that wasn't going to be happening anytime soon. It was six-thirty in the evening and Quinston said to meet at the cafe they usually met at seven, so Kai slipped on his hoodie and attempted to be stealthy and sneak out of the Spero's hideout without being questioned.

Unfortunately, that was not going to happen.

"Kai! Where are you going?" Kagae called cheerfully. Kai immediately tensed.

"O-Oh, just, uh, to go get some food... Maybe get some fresh air...? Yeah," he answered awkwardly. By this time most of the Spero were used to Kai's sudden nervousness, so Kagae shrugged and let it slide.

"Okay. See you later then!" She left Kai alone. He speed-walked out of the hideout and jogged to the cafe that wasn't too far from his headquarters. Outside was a familiar, chill brunette in a white beanie and green-and-white sweater.

"Kai!" Quinston waved and immediately smiled.

It's like his smile just lit up the sun... Kai tried to shove that thought to the back of his mind.

"Hai Quinston," Kai glanced at the clock that was in view of the window of the cafe. "It's only just now seven! Why are you here before me?" The tan boy asked.

The Magiclica shrugged. "Got tired of waiting at my house so I thought I'd come here and be early. Ready to get going?" Quinston held his arm out to Kai.

Kai ducked his head to avoid laughing. "Oh so we're going somewhere formal now, are we? I should have dressed better!"

Quinston's laugh was strangely like music. "Ha! Oh come on, I would have told you if you needed to dress differently. Besides, do I look dressed for something formal?" He gestured to his sweater and (adorable) tousled hair covered by the beanie.

Kai rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "I don't think I even own anything to really be considered 'formal' so thank goodness for that!"

He linked his arm through the other boy's and Quinston started leading them somewhere. They laughed and joked for a while before a portal suddenly appeared right in front of them. They walked right through it before Kai could react, and suddenly they were outside a building on a different street.

"What the foop?!" He questioned his reality once more. Quinston had that stupid, confident smirk on his face, giving away that it was him who created the portal. "What do you expect? I am Quinston O'Kouzlo, two-time youngest winner of TMS," He did a small pretend hair flip.

Kai snorted. "Okay one, never do that again. And two, no need to brag! You're making me feel even less worthy to be in your presence!" he complained almost-jokingly.

Quinston's bright green eyes softened. "Oh, sorry." They didn't say anything for a moment. "Well, uh, want to go in?" Quinston suggested.

"Where even are we?" Kai asked, puzzled.

The green-eyed boy's iconic, confident smirk returned. "I thought we might enjoy some good Shawn Mendes at the karaoke bar?" The Spero nearly squealed.

"What are we waiting for?!" Kai practically dragged Quinston inside, despite that he was willingly following along as well.

Inside were lots of people (mainly adults but that's not the point) laughing and chatting or nursing most-likely alcoholic drinks. There was a small area cleared in the center of the room along with a karaoke machine.

"So, want to go up there and hit it?" Quinston asked. Kai halted with a look of sheer terror on his face.

"Uh, no. Have I ever told you I am the worst at singing?" Kai stated immediately.

Quinston frowned. "Oh, how bad can you be?"

"Really bad."

The Magiclica rolled his eyes but complied. "Fine. Wait here then, or find a place to sit. I'll go get us some drinks."

"Nothing alcoholic!" Kai called jokingly.

Quinston came back a few minutes later with two glasses that looked to be Pepsi, or Coke, or Dr. Pepper. They all look the same and tasted basically the same, so who knows which it really was. "Geez! You don't have to remind me of no alcohol! My grandparents would literally kill me if I were to actually drink. Not to mention grounded and banned from coming here ever again." he sighed.

"Well wouldn't that be a shame!" Kai was starting to loosen up with his (boy)friend's casualness.

Quinston nodded. "It truly would. No more bad karaoke to make fun of or cheap soda with friends!"

Speaking of which, someone was walking up to the karaoke machine and put a coin in, selecting a song before the background music came on a few seconds later.

"Ugh, I really want to go sing. I may not be Melissa but you can never say no to Shawn Mendes!" Quinston complained more to himself than anyone. Kai felt bad for keeping Quinston from doing what he wanted.

"I mean, you can go up there. I just don't want to make everyone deaf..." the not-Spero trailed off. Quinston said nothing as he turned to watch the man do his song while his other friends were cheering obnoxiously loud. Once he was done the green-eyed boy got up and marched over to the music machine, put in a coin, and took a moment to scroll through the song options before finding one. Immediately the music started playing, but before Quinston started singing he said something.

"This goes out to my friend I'm with tonight, you know who you are. Just saying, I really missed this." The microphone made his voice loud and give it slight noise.

Immediately Kai felt his face burn. Darn you, you stupid hot Magiclica with enough confidence to do something stupid like this...

Kai's face immediately turned even redder as soon as he recognized the song that O'kouzlo was singing.

Oh my GOODNESS...

Quinston was rocking out to “Stitches,” hitting every queue perfectly. It was the mark of a true Shawn Mendes lover, and despite Kai's embarrassment, he was secretly singing along in his mind. Don't ever tell Quinston that Kai was actually enjoying this, though!

Quinston finished the song, getting a small round of applause from those listening. He walked back over to their table and sat down before immediately getting a chuckle out of Kai's shook-fried tomato face. "I hate you," is all the blue-eyed boy said.

Quinston smirked and rolled his eyes. "You know you love me,"

Kai basically spat out his drink. "I- I- WHAT?! N-No! Quinston!" he hissed, knowing his face was redder still if even possible with his dark skin.

O'kouzlo only watched with his stupid iconic smirk as his companion freaked out.

"Want to go sing now? I'll go with you so we can both make fools of ourselves." Quinston offered. The fried tomato that is Kai groaned.

"Why are you so obsessed with getting me to sing all of a sudden?"

"Because now I'm curious to see if you're really as bad as you're making yourself out to be."

Kai groaned again. "You know what fine! I'll show you I'm really that bad, and then you'll regret ever meeting me!"

Quinston chuckled. "I find that hard to believe. I don't think I could ever truly regret meeting you, Kai." His cheeks were dusted in the faintest pink in the dim bar's lighting.

The not-Spero led the way back to the karaoke machine, where Quinston put in another coin and the choice of songs appeared.

"They have a lot of Shawn Mendes to choose from..." Kai mumbled in serious thought.

"I mean, it doesn't have to be Shawn Mendes, does it?" Quinston offered with a shrug.

Kai turned with an emotionless look on his face. "It always has to be Shawn Mendes." he said in a dead serious tone. Quinston raised his hands in a surrender gesture before Kai looked back at the screen and selected a song. “There’s Nothing Holding Me Back” by, of course, Shawn Mendes.

Kai was almost as bad as he said.

It wasn't that he was bad, but more like he had no idea how to actually sing. Quinston was evidently trying not to laugh OR wince at his companion's attempt at karaoke as a blush was painted across his face and his gaze held an emotion Kai dare not name.

Quinston took the second verse after the chorus, then they both did the third part before forgetting all restraints and singing their hearts out for the big finale. By the time the song was done they were both grinning like idiots and laughing at each other for no apparent reason.

Quinston went back to get another set of drinks while Kai returned to their table and tried to wipe his idiotic smile off his face. He at first succeeded, but as soon as the brunette Magiclica with the bright green eyes returned the smile returned and reappeared on Quinston's face as well.

"Well?" Kai questioned.

Quinston shook his head and sighed. "Remind me to never force you into karaoke again."

"Well, I told you!" the boy with the red-dyed hair exclaimed.

"Yeah yeah, you were right. Kai one, Quinston... about a dozen. Not gonna lie." The brunette said.

Kai huffed. "Oh, egoistic much?"

"What can I say? I am Quinston O'kouzlo."

The tan skinned boy lightly punched the lighter skinned one. They both were still smiling, enjoying each other's presence far too much than they both knew they should. Then they both happened to look at the clock and saw it was nearly nine.

"We should really get going..." Quinston sighed with disappointment.

"Yeah..."

Quinston held out his arm to Kai again. "Mind if I walk you out?"

Kai rolled his eyes and allowed the duo-elementaled Magiclica to guide him out of the bar. "I guess I'll see you around?" the Spero said hopefully.

Quinston nodded. "Don't avoid me again, okay? Like I said, 'without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches~'" he sang the line, causing Kai's face to immediately heat up once again. He looked down to the ground, or basically anywhere except the confident' handsome face that was Quinston O'kouzlo.

A portal opened up in front of Kai. "That should take you straight to your room." Quinston said reluctantly. Kai nodded.

"Thanks for tonight. I... I had fun. 'Night, Quinston."

"G'night, Kai."

With that, the Spero stepped through the portal and straight into his room. He immediately flopped onto the bed and sighed dreamily. All he could think of was the beautiful Magiclica boy's smile that he thought he could never be with.

Little did he know, that same boy was dreaming of the sweet, caring, honest boy trapped on the wrong side of the law that he thought would never like him for who he was.

————————

“Stitches” is Kaiston season 2, change my mind. Tbh I kind of want to rewrite this for season 2 developments but the events haven’t unfolded completely so I don’t know if I should? And it wouldn’t be as happy because Kaiston right now isn’t as fluffy as it was when I wrote this around... I think episode 115 I think

Word count: 2000

#magiclicas #qutejakey #kaiston #posted back when kai was a spero #how the times have changed #karaoke

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survivorsinnoh · 7 years

Text

Rites of Passage

youtube

Drew - you didn’t deserve what you got Jordan - Matt I love you so much I wish this game wasn't ugly and you weren't first boot <3 Logan - I never got to play with you, but I hope you’re doing lovely!

Drew - The only ghostie to die when we were still ghosties, the game never even knew you existed. RIP Taylor….. <3 Emma and Salem Jordan - idk you Logan - I hope you’re having a great day, sorry we never got the chance to play! Steven - an okay team member but didn't really do much to stand out

Drew - ngl I was glad you weren’t in the game anymore after Aegean, playing with you is a trip, but I’m sorry for whatever was going on in your life that you couldn’t commit yourself to this game Jordan - I was sad you left but you didn't even vote so there isn't much I could have done to save you Logan - Dani, you my favorite cracked child. I loved playing with you, I’m sorry it ended homie. Steven - fun while they lasted

Drew - idk you Jordan - idk you Logan - I also never got to play with you, but obligatory have a great day!

Drew - KING OF AEGEAN SEA we could’ve secretly raised hell huh, no one would’ve seen us coming Jordan - idk you Logan - I never got to play with you but I love you my sweet son.

Drew - Sorry you went from F13 to F19 and then got voted out, that must have been a rough life to get a worse placement than the number of people you thought were in the season Jordan - you are so sweet and funny just not the most active Logan - YOU WILL FIND YOUR SHEBREW, HAPPY NEW YEAR Steven - I wish I got to know you more

Drew - the winner of the season and we all know it Jordan - ugh I really wish you would have stuck through this game because I really wanted to work with you and make it to the end with you love you queen

Logan - I hope you’re doing fabulous lovely, and I hope the reason you felt you had to go has resolved or is doing better. You deserve the world, hun. Steven - you were a fun tribe member to have around

Drew - Listen I’m aware that you will probably never see this but I’m about to get super emotional so I’m sorry to everyone else who has to read this. Getting to play a season with you two years after Malaysia, when I thought you’d never come back to the community, and seeing you a little in Hosts, and then through the entirety of Circle, and finally getting to go through a little of what we went through here in Sinnoh was a huge deal to me and felt like some closure I didn’t know I wanted from that era of my org life. I fully support your reasons for leaving this game, and from the little I see from your snap it looks like it was the right decision for you, but I broke down and cried when you told me because I thought we’d have more time. This game was not ready for the both of us, and if you’d stayed??? Babe I’ve managed to raise some hell in this game but together we would have had this whole place wrapped up like a puppet show on strings. These kids are lucky they never had to see what we could pull off….I love you, kid. Jordan - I'm sorry you had to quit I hope your life is going ok <3 Logan - I never got to meet you, but I’ve heard such amazing things. I hope you’re feeling okay <3 Steven - I wish you could've stayed in longer

Drew - The real victim of the aforementioned “Things Scott And I Can Pull Off” Jordan - who dat Logan - Ah my love, I hope you’re also doing okay, sorry you had to go. Steven - There can only be one Brit XD

Drew - BABEEEEEEEEEEE you dun goofed huh, I really did everything I could to set us both up to make merge and it didn’t work out and I’m crushed for that, but we’ll always have the food court ;) Getting to meet you while this game was still happening was something special <3 GOOD LUCK IN ISLA DE LAS MUNECAS, I'll keep the Jacob Candle™ lit for you!!! Jordan -

using my super idol Logan - AH IT WAS SO GOOD WHILE IT LASTED. I hope you’re doing swell! Steven - talked to me a lot during the game and I thank him for that

Drew - It always ends up being you dying a split second before merge in games we play together these days...I’m sorry you died in that way and partially by my hand, but you don’t come for a ghostie!!! I tried to warn y’all...much like with Scott, we hadn’t seen as much of each other as I’d have liked since Malaysia, so getting to reconnect with you through these games and Andalucia has been really important to me. Jordan - I like to think we boned a bit in this game even though you are one of my best friends.

Logan - You were robbed, I’m sorry that you had to go. We were so good together and I’m glad this game was better than the last.

Drew - (1/2) I’m eulogizing you and Eric together because you were both my people and I tried to protect you and I failed you both. We tried to prepare ourselves for what was gonna come next, but...Between my status coming into merge, the fact that it was the merge vote, and a double vote with so many people on top of that, …... Jordan - we never talk in games so idk you that well Logan - Oh my wild cracked ass love. I love your kittens and I love YOU! Steven - you did so well to stay in as long as you did

Drew - (2/2) I was too scattered to fight for what I wanted, and I let the game happen to me instead of imposing myself and my will on the game. And because of it, I lost you both, my two ghosties, just as I finally got to see you again. Y’all were my turning point in the game, when I decided that for better or worse, I was not gonna play scared for the rest of the season. I’m sorry it happened a round too late. Jordan - I was shook when you left. I didn't expect that to happen at all but we didn't talk so I guess it worked out for me Logan - Congrats on jury!! I hope this game was fun for you, and I hope it ends well for you too. Hope your day is great. Steven - was strong and helped us ghosties

Drew - Highkey the person I was most scared of, your conversation style throws me off my game. There’s a directness and a bite to it that will serve you so well in these games. I don’t meet all that many people who are new to me in games anymore, and this was our first game together, even though we knew each other briefly before that, so you were probably my biggest delight. Jordan - easy the hardest decision I had to make this whole game. Backstabbing you was a big regret but I knew it needed to happen if I wanted a chance Logan - BIG HEART EMOJI!! You were Robbed tm Steven - you always checked in on me when I was asleep XD

Drew - Eye for an eye, bitch!!! Our conversation the day you left when you knew you were leaving and knew it was because I was killing you? One of the highlights of the season, Chicago snapchat included. Drewbert (Andalucia/Normandy Host) [1:39:44AM]: me @ Zach out of games: I LOVE THIS PERSON, BEST FRAND EVER 12/10 WOULD FRIEND AGAIN me @ Zach in games: okay but he so sketchy thooooooooo me after I inevitably kill Zach or he inevitably kills me: wow but we could've done so much damage together whew Jordan - daddy voting me out <3 Logan - For once, you died for me. Are we even now? I love you.

Drew - MY BABY BOY we always end up here on opposite sides of the line and I can’t wait to see what kind of things you said about me in your confessionals this time <3 You were the last of the trio I wasn’t working with so it was the last of the “easy” choices I had to make but it still lowkey sucked. Pulling off a 4-3-2 though??? Cool. Jordan - I'm sorry the ugliest got you. Fuck drew honestly I enjoyed talking to you when we finally got to be on the same tribe and I was sad when you left Logan - my sweet son. You are so good, you’re so pure, and I’m sorry we had to stop being together in this game. You are fabulous.

Drew - (1/2) BILLY my Johto ride-or-die and one of the people I talk to most without a game attached because there’s something really comforting about talking to you. I’m combining you and Gaston for the purposes of this because it broke pieces of me to write both of your names down. I didn’t do either vote until the last five minutes, which I’m sure Jay has loved from me, but the surety that it was the right move for the numbers to keep all of the options and failsafes I needed but it…... Jordan - you weren't very active in this season and keeping you around didn't feel fair to the people who wanted to play Logan - From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry. Steven - you got slammed by those you thought of trusting

Drew - (2/2) didn’t make it any easier to do. Gaston especially, I was so shocked when it turned out to be you, I only knew I needed someone from that trio to leave but I thought it would be Mitch, I never dreamed they’d flip onto you after two times of failing to get him out. I’m sorry that in the two times we’ve played together recently, I haven’t been the ally you deserve. Jordan - I honestly loved talking to you the one time we actually spoke bgdjhfvdjhbnfdvij I think you were a big threat to me though. Logan - I LOVED PLAYING WITH YOU AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU! You are so fun, and while your sleeping schedule is wack, it was awesome chatting. Live it up! Steven - There's no one like Gaston

Drew - After more than a year and a half of knowing each other, I’m running out of amazing things to say about you. As an adversary, I knew what had to be done as soon as Wings Over Water was announced as the comp, but I went into work an hour early and played through my lunch break to try and make it so I could keep you one more round. You’ll always be best friend material. Jordan - you know I adore you and that I didn't want to have to vote you out but it had to happen and I didn't think I had a shot in hell against you Logan - I’m sorry. I loved working with you, you’re truly an amazing ally and an amazing person to be around. You own the pun king crown. Steven - You were a power player who got shut down

Drew - I have no words. I love you and while this is the ending I’d been planning for some time now, I wish so much that it had come under different circumstances. I’ll always be around if you ever want to talk but I understand that if that happens, it will take time. I’m sorry. Jordan - I'm honestly sorry I made you feel like shit as you left and I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I know I backstab you a lot in these games but just know I never mean to hurt your feelings because I do consider you a friend.

Logan - YOU DID SO GOOD. You played this game so hard, and I truly believe you would have won had you made it to the end. I’m so proud of you I can’t even speak to it. Steven - you tried so hard and got so far. But in the end. It didn't even matter

Drew - Steven the first time we played together was almost a year and a half ago and we didn't get to see much of each other. I'm always gonna be grateful we got a chance to try again and see as much as we did together, after spending so much time with the Gorlleys. I don't know if this was your first Survivor since Atlantis, but I hope you surprised and impressed yourself with how far you were able to make it. It was a true delight to work with you. Jordan - Arcy you are jays boyfriend so I support you even though we never talked Logan - Im love u ur such a good bean

#savingalotofdata

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #374

“doctor, doctor, won’t you please prescribe me something? / a day in the life of someone else...”

Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? No. Who do you feel most beautiful around? No one. What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could live without any makeup. What’s the most expensive thing you own? My snake, I think. Or my laptop, idr. Are you more of a book person or a TV person? Book. Relationship status? Single. What color are most of your clothes? Black. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No, I was 16. Last song you listened to? "The Heretic Anthem" by Slipknot. Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? Yes. What’s your favorite thing about life? That's a big question. I guess seeing acts of mass love and kindness, reminders that we're all in this together through all hardships. Who pays for the first date? Whoever asked the other person out, imo. Who has always been there for you? My mom. Have you ever written on a wall? No, at least not to my memory. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? I think anyone who reads these by now knows, haha. I don't much play anything else. I prefer console games. What would you name a baby boy if you had one? Probably Damien or Victor. What would you name a baby girl if you had one? Alessandra, no questions asked. What lyric means the most to you? I mean there's tons, but the first one that came to mind is "for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from "Get Up" by Mother Mother. Like in the big picture, we humans are so so so minuscule, but with brains that are too complicated for our own good. It's my own head that creates so many obstacles for me. Who is the smartest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. Do you share a bed with anyone? My cat, haha. Does it flatter you when guys open doors for you? It's flattering if anyone does, not just guys. Do you enjoy taking naps? Yeah. That's like part of my daily routine. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Nope. Is there anyone you try to be a good influence for? My nieces and nephew, but I don't feel like I am. I'm a poor example of an adult. Do you own a pair of fishnets? No, but I have a pair of fingerless fishnet gloves. Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, pancakes, waffles, bacon or cereal? All are great, but french toast. Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? I'd actually have one if I didn't have glasses. I think I'd look weird with one as I look now. When I say "The Beatles," what is the first song that comes to mind? "Hey, Jude." In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Extremely hot and humid. You can only listen to one band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? Ozzy Osbourne, of course. Can you snap with both of your hands? Yeah, but it's harder with my left. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? For some people, promises don't mean shit. If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you paint it? Maybe like a light peach. When was the last time you got butterflies? I think not since Sara told me I look really pretty in eyeliner. ;_; <3 When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? There was this one time I was listening to "The Ghost of You" by MCR a while after finding out about Jason's mom's death and I just like... broke. When’s the last time you were in a line? When I was getting my second COVID shot. Do you trust the media? HA! Fuck no. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? At first I was appalled by this question, but like... do wasps serve a purpose? Of all fauna, they annoy me the most. I mean bees are already endangered enough, and they prey on them. They don't pollinate, so like... why are you here. I may be mistaken and they have a valuable role, in which case I take all this back. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I have on idea. Most jobs are underpaid. What’s the last thing you wrote down? I was doing some paperwork at the TMS office on my first day there. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? I don’t know. What are you looking forward to? Now that my tattoo (which looks fucking stunning, by the way) is out of the way, I can focus on other things. I'm particularly looking forward to hopefully seeing the results of TMS manifest (which should take 3-4 weeks). It sounds horrible, but I'm also keenly awaiting this dog we're stuck with to go somewhere... The person who gave her to my sister to give my mom won't take the dog back, and we can't find another option that doesn't risk her being euthanized, which we absolutely do not want. We just don't know what to do, but she's driving Mom and me INSANE. Do you listen to online radio stations? No. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? No. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Multiple things. Have you ever ate so much you puked? Ugh, no. That sounds awful. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Very much, sadly. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? I gotta say brownies. Which YouTuber have you learned the most from? I mean, this depends on the subject. From Mark, I've learned most about life and how (I think) to be a good person, but there's a lot of pet channels I watch that have taught me loads about proper husbandry. This answer just depends on what knowledge you're talkin' about. Who would you want to be the flower girl at your wedding? Probably a niece. Do you want to be married within the next ten years? It'd be nice. Do you feel like your life is too fast-paced, or do you wish it were busier? Ugh, I wish it was busier. My days are a COMPLETE, routine drag. What are some hobbies which you want to pick up? I want to just be more artsy. I wanna draw and write more, and I'd love love love to be in healthy enough shape to handle going on walks with my camera. There are sometimes I miss editing videos, too. I'm unsure about completely new hobbies. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? My family and a few friends. Oh, and definitely my psychiatrist. What group are you most active in on Facebook? None, really. I mostly just observe. Are you ashamed of anything? A number of things. Primarily not having a job at my age or even being in school. What were your favorite Disney rides as a kid? I loved Splash Mountain, I think it was called. What were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? Never been. What are some places you want to visit that you’ve never been? South Africa, Alaska, Canada, Yellowstone National Park, Bahamas, Venice, Rome... What are some places that you’ve been that you’d like to go to again? Disney World, Chicago, and this one super clear lake I swam in once a few hours away that I don't recall the name of. Have you ever owned a succulent? No. While they're pretty, I've never been much of a plant person. Do you support small businesses? I REALLY want to start doing that more when I have the option to buy my own stuff/have my own income. As someone who wants to be a freelance photographer, I get it. Starting an independent business is hard as hell. If a brand were to sponsor you, which brand(s) would you prefer? Uhhh I dunno. Have you read the entire Bible? No. Do you make bucket lists for each season? No. That does sound kinda fun, though. How old were you when you first dyed your hair? I have no idea. Do you dye your hair regularly? No. :/ I desperately want to, though. It's just not something we can afford to spare cash on. What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? Pajama pants? haha Do you think you could ever be famous? No. I'm way too boring and don't want to be anyway. What are some jobs you’ve had in the past? Sales associate, cashier, and deli worker. None lasted long whatsoever. What are some jobs you want to or would like to have? List five. FIVE? I don't know. I just know I want to be a photographer. Well, being an artist or poet would be very cool. And a reptile breeder, maybe tarantulas, too, but that makes me kinda nervous with JUST how many babies they have. What are some jobs you have considered? In rough order from youth to now: paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, author/poet, artist, music video editor, wildlife biologist, photographer... Maybe there's more that just aren't coming to me. Are you thankful for social media, or do you wish it didn’t exist? Depends on the day for me, but I'm generally thankful for it so I can keep up with the lives of people who are important to me. It's just that it's a breeding ground for self-doubt and rampant comparisons that can easily depress me when I see some people are "further ahead" and more "established" than me. What are some of the best medications you’ve ever had? The combined efforts of Latuda and Lamictal saved my life. What was a video you watched over and over as a kid? There were lots of movies, like The Lion King, a certain Barney one when I was very young, and I watched Finding Nemo like crazy. Do you know a lot of people who were loving, and then turned cold? Jason????????????????? Is that you??????????????????????????????????????????? Do you own anything plaid? Ha, what a coincidence, I'm wearing my red plaid pj pants. Are you good at remembering names? Definitely not. Have the cops ever gotten on to you for anything before? No. What email thingy do you use? (yahoo, gmail, rock) ... Rock? lol anyway my main is Hotmail, but I inevitably have a gmail to have a YouTube account. What game system(s) do you own? PS2, Wii, Nintendo DS Lite, and a GameBoy Advance. Are you any good at Guitar Hero? I used to be; I played most songs on Expert, then some really tough ones on Hard. I was soooooo addicted to those games. I remember when I got the first one for Christmas, I literally played it all day. Have you ever played Call of Duty? Nah, not my jam. What is your favorite/most visited website? YouTube. Is your bed comfortable? Sure. I've definitely had way worse. Do you have a garage? No. Fun fact, I've never lived in a house with one. Should you be doing anything right now? What? There's a number of things I could be doing that are definitely more productive, like finishing decorating my damn room. Do doctors or dentists make you more nervous? Not really. I only ever get nervous to hear my weight at the doctor's. Did you ever think you were about to die before? I don't quite know. When I ODed, it was more like I didn't care if I did. Have you ever really had a near death experience? Was it cool? "Was it cool." Literally fuck off. I guess you could technically consider my OD a "near death experience," especially given how many pills I took, yet I somehow experienced almost no ill symptoms. Maybe because we got to the ER for fluids quickly enough, idk. I'm just glad I didn't die. What is your favorite kind of weather? Snowy! Like a steady snowfall of large flakes with no breeze and total silence. *chef's kiss* Ever tasted beer? Ugh, no. Just the smell makes me sick. It was my dad's drink of choice when he was an alcoholic so I just have a very negative association with it. Have you ever seen a dead body? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Ever poured salt on a slug? As kids, my sisters and I would get our parents to do it because they grossed us out. So, so cruel. I still have this weird but pretty extreme phobia of them, but I wouldn't torture the things like that.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''don't let me get me'' by p!nk

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