#literally all of this happens in the first week of March it’s gonna be jam packed

[frecklystars]

I’M SO EXCITED TO VISIT SCHENECTADY IN FIVE WEEKS TO VISIT A BUNCH OF TPBTP FILMING LOCATIONS I JUST [vibrates and skyrockets into outer space and explodes into confetti] 💥🌈🎉🌟✨

#woof #the first week of March is gonna have SO MUCH HAPPENING #the Oscars are happening on the 10th so we get to see Ryan and America!!!!!! #I’m gonna go meet Steve Blum and TOM KENNY???? #which means im gonna get to hear my f/os say they love me in the official voices again #AND THEN IM GONNA GO WHERE THEY FILMED TPBTP AHHH #literally all of this happens in the first week of March it’s gonna be jam packed #ALSO ILL FINALLY WATCH THE NICE GUYS BY THEN #because if my anniversary with Holland March ISNT in March then what the hell am I doing #just like how my anniversary with Dean will be Feb 14th so I’m FINALLY watching blue valentine that day #ANYWAY. AHHH

[arsonist-chicken]

Lockdown Tag game; I got tagged by @we-are-not-amoosed thank you! I keep forgetting you know I exist, also I hope you had fun being drunk at midnight on a Tuesday hjhjhj.

First of all, a big FUCK YOU to tumblr, because I was at the LAST QUESTION and opened ONE NEW TAB to look up the word windmill, and when I went back to tumblr, my post was GONE, so here we go again. If an answer seems short of half-answered, it’s because I didn’t feel like typing everything again.

Are you staying home from work or school?

HA. Yes. Love that for me. Not at all. My university opened for 1 1/2 weeks in March 2020, then for another 4 weeks in November, and it has been closed ever since. I’m in my dormitory in the town I study in, not home home at my parents’ place though, because that would Not end well. The internet connection sucks though, that’s really annoying with distance learning. When I go into The City for A Thing, I usually cycle past my department and it makes we Yearn to go back in there, which is a thing I didn’t think would ever happen, but one pandemic later and suddenly everyone would kill for the change to go back to work/school in person, wouldn’t we?

If you’re staying home who is there with you?

I live in a dormitory, so technically, there’s a lot of other people there, but I don’t really talk to any of them except for when we meet in the hallways or the kitchen or wherever, so really it’s just me, the stuffed animal my friend got me last year because I kept whining that I didn’t have a cat like her at her boyfriend’s place where she basically lives now, and the birds who come to eat from the bird house I put on my balcony.

If it makes you feel any better @we-are-not-amoosed, not that I think it will but hey, who knows, my twin sister is moving out in December, so I will be the only child at home with my parents during summer/Christmas/Easter break, which will be Not Fun. I’ll take another 1 ½ years for my degree, and another 2 if I do a master’s, so that’s about... 1-3/4 years I’ll be alone with my parents while my perfect sister gets to move out and move on and live Adult Life fully respected as an Adult working with renewable energy, as opposed to the Disappointment who takes 5 years for a 3 year degree in a field that’s hard to find employment in and never Does Stuff like my mother wants me to Do Stuff.

Are you a homebody?

I’m with @we-are-not-amoosed there, I didn’t know what that meant, but Pons says “Stubenhocker”. A bit I guess? I’m definitely fine being home by myself if I’m unbothered there (read: not at my parents’ when they are home) and I do need time by myself to recharge. But probably like everyone else, I crave and enjoy social contact a ton more than Before. I meet a friend fairly often (aka the only friend still here instead of home for distance learning), and today we worked together (handing out flyers which idk why the company pays us to hand them out, like 95% of them get thrown away immediately, but hey, we’re getting paid 🤷) and then went to sit by the river, and there were SO MANY people there, it was not *entirely* corona-compliant (but outside with town-typical wind, so it’s fine I think, with my non-existent knowledge about spreading of viruses and such), but honestly? I just couldn’t be bothered to care in that moment: it was warm and sunny, I was there with a very close friend, people were laughing and dancing to good music, it was just so GOOD to be there, almost as if Corona didn’t exist. The police even drove by like they always do to check for people smoking weed and didn’t say anything like usual, so hey. It was just so good, okay? So, homebody? Within reason, I guess, but less than Before, probably.

An event you were looking forward to that eventually got cancelled?

Oh boy, SO MANY. The one I’m most bitter about was a very prestigious international interpreting event, that would have involved me interpreting in the actual European Parliament building in Strasbourg. But there was also a festival week with my best friend I was looking forward to, maybe even a second festival with another friend, my company’s ten year anniversary party, etc. And Prides! I came out to my family in 2019, and was like “Yay, I can finally go to Prides now!” but well 🤷

DUDE SO MANY ARE YOU KIDDING ME

CONCERTS: 5SOS (I SHOULD HAVE heard “Old Me” in a crowd full of other people getting nostalgic for their past selves, but NO), Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Rock im Park aka GREEN DAY AND RISE AGAINST (I have been trying to see Rise Against for YEARS and ALWAYS something gets in the way!), one or two small local artists.

ERASMUS: I should have gone to Russia for a semester to improve my not-too-great speaking skills but Corona said FUCK YOU you will study ALONE and LONELY in your ROOM like a child on TIMEOUT

PRIDE: none in particular, just generally it would have been nice to go, maybe even with a friend to the one in Vienna

Also just general stuff like birthdays and get-togethers with friends, and my club’s annual get-together was cancelled too, and it would have been my friend, sister and my’s 10-year-anniversary, so that sucked to get cancelled.

What movies have you watched recently?

Movies? Pfuh, I don’t know, I’m not really into movies anymore, tbh. TV-series and games are more my jam.

Descendants 1 +2, I finally watched those after I read so much fanfiction that I knew the plot without having watched a single scene that isn’t a music video that youtube kept showing me. They’re nice enough, if you overlook the fact that they make a 16-year-old king while there’s still perfectly capable adults but whatever, there’s a lot of cute moments (Carlos and Jane omg) and a lot of funny ones (UMA. Is HILARIOUS), the music kind of slaps ngl, and arguably Mal + Evie are queer and in love. I still want to watch the third soon, and rewatch The Hunger Games since it showed up on my dash recently.

What shows are you watching?

Rewatching Julie and the Phantoms forever until the end of time (or until season 2 comes out @netflix, and I started Brooklyn 99 again for background noise/low-energy background watching. A friend recommended Ginny & Georgia and it’s okay enough, but it’s written in a way that makes you want to keep watching because there’s just such whack stuff happening that you want it explained; it’s 1h episodes though, that’s a bit hard on my attention span. I want to rewatch FMA:B some time, too.

What are you reading?

@we-are-not-amoosed said “tumblr posts and the texts I translate at work” and if that isn’t a Mood. I’d love to read more, but my attention span is shit and my reading comprehension even worse. I *am* reading “Explain to me like I’m 5” atm which explains stuff easily, like, well, you’re 5 years old, so you’d think a 23-year-old could understand, no? No. I read it, I vaguely understand some stuff, I close the book, and it’s G-O-N-E, not a single thing left. Literally the only thing I remember – and this is why I had to re-write ^^^all that because I needed to look up the English word for Windräder, if that’s even what they’re called in German but whatever I’m tired – is that insects and birds die a LOT in windmills when they get too close and get sucked in and can’t escape anymore, which is one of the reasons windmills aren’t as environmentally friendly as we thought when we built them. Anyhow, I’d love to read more, but idk, there are a lot of posts on here, some I’ve reblogged, that are like.. something something reading fanfiction is easier because you already know the characters and universe something something less mental energy something something idk. Yeah I mostly read fanfiction these days. I hope I’ll get back to reading books sometime soon-ish, I have a long list.

What are you doing for self-care?

Hm. I meet my friend I mentioned above pretty regularly, and I have a notebook that I write stuff in that was nice or made me happy when that happened (like today: working with my friend and then sitting among people by the river in the sun with said friend). I’m getting a tattoo next week (3 cat paws + 1 dog paw = technically my two cats and my late cat and dog, but well, two of them are dead, so I asked two friends for a paw print of their cat and dog, so I’ll always have those two with me, too). I try to make a to-do-list each day, but I rarely stick to it. I apply eyeshadow and body glitter if I want to, I dye my hair bright colors (think pink, purple, blue, red, maybe orange next). I always have chocolate in my room meaning I stopped depriving myself of food I like/food in general because it’s “healthier”/”I need to lose weight” etc. all that you know all those great reasons. I went to a doctor about my knee and it ended up being useless but I went, so.

I also went to see a therapist but she is very useless, like “ended our first session telling me well she doesn’t know how to help me/if she can help me at all/if therapy would even help me” kind of useless; I’ll go again next week and see if that changes or if next week will be the last week and I’ll go back to Dealing Like Before, which is not great but whatever. I’ve lived until 23 without therapy, surely I can keep doing it. Therapy’s expensive if it’s not covered (which this doctor IS which is why I went to her but it’s still a waste of time) and if it’s not gonna work/not gonna help me apparently or if there’s nothing actually wrong OR that therapist is just like, bad at her job, what’s the point of going yk?

Uggggh, I hope the swimming pools and Zumba class will be open again soon, Zumba (also with said friend) is AMAZING, easy fun exercise you don’t need any knowledge or skill for and you can hang out with your friend by the street after for an hour and say goodbye five times and then remember one more thing you wanted to actually still mention and stand there for another 20 minutes hjhjhj. Best times, truly.

Idk this is probably not self-care but I got a small job working with Austrian German and it gnetflix the chance to save up a bit and add it to my resume and also hopefully get my mother to shut up about my non-existent job prospects for a bit, so that’s kind of helping in making me feel a bit more like I’m Being An Adult (also because it means I have to learn how to change my insurance and finance department stuff now, yey).

Tagging: @languages-and-else @psychicbouquetblaze-stuff @the-real-daddy-van-der-bellen @sunsetcurveofficial if you feel like doing it, also sorry @we-are-not-amoosed it became such a rambled long answe on almost everything hjhjhj

#tag games #me talks #covid-19 #swearing #It’s a post about corona there Must be swearing

[debbiechanclub]

Best Two Out of Three, Part 5

These are getting so long 😅 Hope you're ready for some drama. 

Best Two Out of Three

Part: 5/26

Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC and Adam Page x OFC

Warnings: Alcohol use, language, angst

Word Count: 3.2k

Catch up on previous parts here.

"So I hear you have a match against Alex next week.”

Callie glanced at Adam as he drove them back to the hotel after Dynamite. She’d wondered how long it would take him to bring up the match. “Yeah. Who told you?”

“Kenny.”

She bristled at the mention of Kenny’s name. “Did he also tell you that when I asked him for the match he said no, but when Alex did he said yes?”

She still couldn’t believe he’d done that. After Alex had left the locker room, Callie had stayed in the bathroom stall until Kenny had left, too; she didn’t want him to know she’d overheard their conversation. At least now she knew why he had such an obnoxiously soft spot for Alex—there were obviously some unresolved feelings there. She wondered what the full story was; she made a mental note to ask Britt tomorrow if she knew any details.  

“No,” Adam said as he steered the car into the hotel parking lot. “But the Bucks did.”

Callie shot him a confused look. “What?”

“After Kenny told me about the match, I mentioned it to Matt and Nick,” he explained. “They told me about your conversation with Kenny in production.”

She rolled her eyes. “Figures those two would eavesdrop,” she muttered.

“They said you were yelling,” Adam returned as he parked.  Callie glowered at him.

“Well he called me reckless, Adam. Forgive me for getting upset.”

“I know; I don’t blame you for getting upset.”

She paused. She hadn’t expected that.

“Look.” He reached over and placed a comforting hand on her thigh. “I agree that it was kinda shitty of Kenny to deny you the match and then turn around and give it to Alex. But I also think it’s better this way.”

Her scowl returned when she heard that. “Well I don’t,” she said, and she pulled away from him and got out of the car.

“Why not?” Adam asked as he climbed out of the driver’s side. Callie ripped open the trunk and grabbed her bag before she answered him.

“Because I wanted a one-on-one match with her.”

“What?” Adam hurried to grab his bag and shut the trunk. “It is a one-on-one match!”

“No, it’s not; not really,” she said over her shoulder as she marched toward the front entrance of the hotel. “Because not only will I have to deal with Alex inside the ring, but I’ll also have to deal with four people outside it who want me to lose.”

Adam stopped for a second, stunned, before he resumed hurrying after her. “What the hell are you talking about?” He caught up with her as they crossed through the front doors into the lobby. “Kenny and I will be in your corner, Callie.”

“Will you, though?” she returned as she jammed the up button for the elevator with her thumb. The elevator right in front of them opened with a ding, and they both got on.

Adam punched the button for their floor. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked as the elevator doors slid closed.

“Kenny will physically be in my corner, but that’s it,” Callie shot. “You know he wants Alex to win. He probably hopes she’ll hit me with a chair.”

The elevator arrived at their floor. Callie flew out the doors as soon as they opened.

“And what, you think I want her to hit you with a chair, too?” Adam charged as he followed after her.

“I don’t know, maybe,” she huffed. “We’d be even then, right?” She fumbled to pull her key card out of her purse as she marched toward their room.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Adam breathed. “Okay, let me say it to you loud and clear so there’s no confusion: I don’t want Alex to hit you with a chair.”

They arrived at their room. Callie shoved the key card in the lock and pushed open the door. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes,” he gritted through his teeth. Tense.

They burst into the room, and Callie whirled around to face him. “Look me in the eye and tell me that’s not what you want, Hangman.”

Adam stepped right up to her, so close that she had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze. “That’s not what I want,” he said. But the husk in his voice indicated there was something else he wanted. Callie wanted it, too.

She reached up and pulled his mouth against hers, and he eagerly claimed her. They were feverish, grabbing hair and nipping skin, ripping at each other’s clothes as they blindly stumbled to the bed. So what if Kenny had been right about the sex; they couldn’t care less at the moment.

* * * * * * * * * *

“So word on the street is you have a match against Callie next week.”

Alex let out a sigh as she collapsed onto the spare bed in Kris’s hotel room. She wasn’t surprised she’d already heard about the match; word traveled fast in the AEW locker room. “Yeah.”

“Did you ask for it or did she?”

“We both did, actually. Apparently, Callie asked Kenny first and he told her no.”

Kris’s eyebrows arched in surprise. “But he told you yes?”

“Yeah. But only because I said he and Adam could be in Callie’s corner for the match.”

Kris snorted. “Please. You know Kenny’s gonna be rooting for you.”

Alex cut her a look. “Don’t get me started on Kenny.”

A corner of Kris’s mouth quirked up in a smirk, but she let it go. “Well anyway, are you going to Britt’s party tomorrow night?”

Alex’s brow furrowed. “Britt’s having a party tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, after the Dark taping. She didn’t invite you?”

“Nope,” Alex returned. Her invitation must have slipped Britt’s mind while she’d been threatening her.

“Well, I’m sure you’re invited; it’s literally at the arena,” Kris said; but then she frowned in thought. “Then again, isn’t she friends with Callie?”

Alex pursed her lips as she nodded. “Yeah. Fun fact: Britt threatened me on Callie’s behalf in catering today.”

Kris’s eyes widened. “What? What did she say?”

Alex let out a tired sigh. On one hand, she was hesitant to open up that can of worms; but, on the other, she wanted to tell someone—and Chuck and Trent were off the table. Telling them would only make things worse, guaranteed. So she filled Kris in on the details. “After Double or Nothing—you know, when Callie hit me with a chair—Adam came up to my hotel room and we talked in the hallway about it. Britt’s room was right across from mine; apparently she eavesdropped on us.”

Kris gaped at her. “Oh, she would.”

“I know, right? Anyway, when we were in catering tonight, she threatened to ‘fill Callie in on the details’ of our conversation if Adam and I don’t figure out our feelings.”

“What?” If possible, Kris’s jaw unhinged even further. “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” Alex groaned. “Callie must have cried to her about how she’s convinced Adam and I are fucking behind her back.”

“Oh my God.” Kris brought her hands to her temples. She looked just as confused as Alex felt about the entire situation. “Okay, but Callie’s insecurities aside, why would Britt threaten to tell her about your conversation with Adam if all you did was talk about what happened at Double or Nothing?”

Alex winced. She’d been afraid she would ask that. “Well… it might have been a little more than just that,” she admitted.

Kris stared back at her. “Okay, you’re gonna need to elaborate.”

“Ugh, fine.” Alex let out another groan. There was no avoiding telling her. “During the course of the conversation I might have brought up how Adam and I made out once.”

“WHAT?!” Kris nearly jumped from her bed in shock. “You and Adam made out? When?”

“Years ago,” Alex said, wanting to make it crystal clear that it wasn’t by any means a recent occurrence. “Back when we were training, not long after we first met. We got drunk on moonshine and made out in the bed of his pickup truck.” She cringed. “God, it was a stereotypical country song come to life.”

“HA! Oh my God,” Kris struggled to speak; she could barely contain her laughter. “Moonshine?”

“Yes. And I’m not talking store-bought shit; it was the real deal.”

She flashed a devilish grin. “Are you sure all you did was make out?”

Alex’s mouth dropped. “Yes! I mean, we did get to second base. And there was some dry humping—”

“Alex!”

“—But that’s it!” she insisted. “It was a one-time thing.”

Kris’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

Alex sent her a confused look. “Why?”

“I mean, you and Adam get along so well,” she clarified. “Why didn’t you date?”

Alex shifted on the bed; that was a loaded question. The truth was that she and Adam had considered dating back then. But, ultimately, they’d decided the timing just wasn’t right. “Because it was kind of a messy situation,” she explained. “I’d just broken up with a longtime boyfriend, and Adam and I were training together. It didn’t seem like a good idea to get involved.”

Kris frowned. “Well, that’s understandable.”

Alex’s brow furrowed as she nervously bit her lip. “My God, I can’t believe I just told you all that,” she breathed. “I haven’t told anyone that.”

“Well then you probably needed to get it out!” Kris returned. “And don’t worry—my lips are sealed.”

“I know,” Alex said; but then she rolled her eyes. “I wish I could say the same about Britt.”

Kris’s eyes widened again. “Oh God; what if she decides to tell Callie at the party tomorrow?”

Alex shrugged. “If Britt wants to stir up shit at her own party, then that’s her prerogative,” she said. “As long I get to kick Callie’s ass next Wednesday, I really don’t care.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Welcome to the party!” Britt proclaimed as Callie and Adam walked into the bar at Daily’s Place. They’d shown up fashionably late and most of the roster was already there enjoying themselves, including the rest of The Elite. But, as Callie scanned the room, she couldn’t help but notice that Alex and her attack dogs were conspicuously missing.

“It’s literally just drinks at the arena, Britt,” Adam said.

Britt’s smile dropped. “There’s hors d’oeuvres, too.”

He dramatically put a hand to his chest. “Oh—I didn’t realize there were hors d’oeuvres,” he sarcastically returned. “Please forgive me.”

Callie bit back a smirk; but Britt wasn’t as amused. “Just go get your whiskey before I throw you out. I want to talk to Callie.” She shooed him away to the bar. As soon as he was gone, she looked expectantly at Callie. “So? Things seem better between you two today. Did you talk to him about where he went after Double or Nothing?”

She gave a sly grin. “No. But we relieved some tension; I’ll just put it that way.”

“Oh, no,” Britt quickly waved her hands in front of her. “Did not need to know that.”

Callie let out a laugh; but her smile quickly faded. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask you, too. Do you know anything about what happened between Alex and Kenny?”

Britt’s face scrunched up. “That’s random.”

Callie shrugged, trying to seem casual about it. “Well, I just heard some things and was curious if you knew the full story.”

Britt glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot before she answered. “Well, I don’t know the full story. But, from what I understand they were sleeping with each other and Alex wanted to make things ‘official,’ but Kenny didn’t for whatever reason. So Alex moved on.”

Callie’s eyebrows arched. “When did this happen?”

“Oh, gosh. Between Double or Nothing last year and All Out, I think?” She rolled her eyes. “They tried to hide it, but it was obvious.”

So that explained why Callie hadn’t known about it; she hadn’t signed with AEW until just prior to All Out. But even so, she’d picked up that Kenny felt some type of way about Alex; and if he still wasn’t over her a year later, she could only assume it meant some part of him regretted not making things official.

“Speak of the devil.” Britt pursed her lips as she looked toward the doorway, and Callie turned to look, too. Orange, Chuck, and Trent had just walked in; and with them, of course, was Alex, wearing a tight, low-cut tank top that showed off her body in all the right ways.

Alex’s gaze met Callie’s from across the room—and she smirked. Callie’s eyes narrowed. That fucking bitch.

* * * * * * * * * *

Step one for dealing with jealous, catty bitches was to look hotter than them. Check. Step two was to completely ignore them and live your best life. Check. Two drinks in and hanging with her boys and Kris, Alex was having a great night. 

Trent nudged his chin at her. “Wanna do a body shot?”

Chuck nearly choked on his beer. “Fucking what?”

Alex smirked as she leaned toward him. “Are you hitting on me, Trent?”

“I don’t know,” he coolly returned. “Do you want me to be?”

She arched a brow. “My eyes are up here, big shooter.”

He pursed his lips. “Come on. You wanted me to look.”

She bit her lip as she sat back again. “No; let’s not. I don’t want to make Chuckie jealous.”

Chuck just rolled his eyes.

“I do want another drink, though.” She scooted past James and made her way to the bar. As soon as she was out of earshot, Chuck glared at Trent.

“A body shot?”

“Relax,” Trent said. “That was a test to see if Mariposa has joined us. Obviously, she has.”

James smirked. “Nice.”

Kris sent Trent a confused look. “Mariposa?”

Chuck sighed. “‘Mariposa’ is what we call Alex’s drunk alter ego.”

Kris’s eyes widened with excited curiosity when he said that. “Okay, I have to hear this.”

“Alex turns into the biggest flirt on planet Earth when she drinks, as I just clearly demonstrated,” Trent explained. “I guarantee you she’s not coming back from the bar. She’s gonna pick some poor unsuspecting target and spend the next ten minutes fluttering her eyelashes at him.”

“Hence, ‘Mariposa,’” James added.

“When we were in Vegas for Double or Nothing, Mariposa spent all night flirting with Chuck here,” Trent said as he pointed a thumb at Chuck. “It’s what gave him the balls to confess his undying love for Alex.”

Chuck smacked the tabletop. “Okay, again: I was also very drunk that night, and I’m not in love with Alex!”

James sent him a look. “Whatever you say, bud.”

He just grumbled and drank his beer.

“Anyway, we’ve turned it into a drinking game of sorts,” Trent said. “We like to make bets on who she’ll go after.”

Kris laughed into her drink. “Okay, that’s kind of messed up, but also kind of hilarious. Can I get in on it?”

“Absolutely,” Trent said. He waved his hand out over the room. “Please, make your selection.”

“Yes! Okay.” She eagerly looked around, searching for a pick. “What’s her type?”

“She likes beards,” James answered.

Kris frowned. “Hm. Well that knocks out my initial pick, then.”

“Who?” Trent asked.

She smirked. “Maxwell.”

“HA! Oh shit, I hope it’s Maxwell,” he laughed. “That would be fucking hilarious to watch.”

“I don’t think he’d know what to do with her,” James commented.

“Come on, Alex wouldn’t flirt with Maxwell,” Chuck dismissed. “He’s like seven years younger than her.”

“Well, it doesn’t look like he stands a chance, anyway,” Kris said with a nod toward the bar. “Cash certainly doesn’t waste any time.”

They all looked over. Sure enough, Alex was leaned back against the bar with Cash Wheeler standing just in front of her; and judging by their body language, they weren’t talking about the weather.

“Damn,” Trent said. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. Alex looks fucking hot tonight.”

Chuck shot him a look.

“What?” he shot. “Like you didn’t notice.”

“I mean, I don’t swing that way and I noticed,” Kris admitted.

James smirked again. “Nice.”

Back at the bar, Alex let out a laugh as she flipped her long, dark brown hair over her shoulder and playfully hit Cash on the arm. Trent looked back at the others. “What did I say?” he said as he picked up his drink. “She’s not coming back.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Alex’s friends weren’t the only ones watching her; Kenny hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her since she’d walked through the door. It was criminal how good she looked, and what’s worse was that he knew she’d done it on purpose; he just wasn’t sure if she’d done it more to piss off Callie or to rub it in his face after yesterday. But either way, when he saw her gently bite her lip as Cash leaned in to say something in her ear, it was almost more than he could take.

“What’s eating your shorts?”

He turned and glared down at Callie. How long had she been standing there? “What?”

She turned her eyes toward the bar. “Oh. I see what it is.” She smirked. “Getting a little jealous, Kenny?”

His eyes narrowed. “I thought that was your job, Callie.”

Her face dropped. “I learned something interesting,” she said.

Kenny let out a tired sigh. “What’s that?”

“Well.” She paused to take a sip of her drink. “I learned that you and Alex used to be... intimate.”

A mixture of shock and anger marked his face as he looked back at her. “And who told you that?” he charged. “Adam?”

“No. Britt did.”

Kenny rolled his eyes. He wasn’t surprised.

“So, what happened between you two?” Callie asked. She winced. “Oh; was it not that good?”

He laughed wryly to himself. “Alright, I see what you’re doing. Still upset about that comment I made about you and Adam?” he asked. But she ignored him.

“On second thought, it must have been good. I doubt you’d be looking at Cash like you want to murder him if it wasn’t.”

Kenny bit down on his jaw. His patience had officially run out. “Is there a point you’re trying to make? Because I’d appreciate if you got to it.”

Callie’s eyes hardened. “My point is that your feelings for Alex are pretty fucking obvious, Kenny,” she spat. “And once the bell rings for our match next week, your emotions better not get the best of you when I start to kick her ass right in front of your face.”

She sneered smugly up at him, clearly proud of herself for throwing his own words back in his face. But Kenny couldn’t care less. All he cared about was ending the conversation—and he knew exactly how to shut her up. “That won’t be a problem, Callie,” he said. “Because unlike you, I can control myself.”

And with that he walked off, leaving her alone to stew in her anger again.

#adam page fanfiction #adam page imagine #adam page fanfic #hangman adam page fanfiction #hangman adam page imagine #hangman adam page fanfic #kenny omega imagine #kenny omega fanfiction #kenny omega fanfic #aew imagine #aew fanfic #aew fanfiction

[angstmongertina]

A Little Wager (BoL&S)

Honestly, I almost appreciate the hiatus that they gave us in BoL&S, since it means I had time to replay and start working on some fic ideas that I’ve been toying with. I still want to write something for the last night before they arrive in Undermount, but I’m glad I was able to finish SOMETHING, at least.

Mal and Imtura are actually just so much chaotic energy and I love them.

AO3 Link

Mal and Imtura were up to something.

There was no other explanation for it. Too many times, she had seen them together, talking in low voices, glancing about with nervousness and cutting off whenever Csilla or Tyril got within earshot. Mal would linger by the wheel of the ship, Imtura slouched over to accommodate his height, as they sailed, conversing in voices so low that the winds couldn’t carry them. They would sit together by the campfire before turning in, murmuring softer than the crackling logs. If she weren’t completely convinced that there was nothing between them, she might have suspected that they were interested in each other.

As it was, they were managing to be suspicious enough that even Threep noticed, though in typical fashion, his investigation was easily bypassed through the bribery of fish, a fact that the nesper recounted to her with far more pride than it warranted.

In the end, it was simply a matter of timing. Days had turned into weeks after leaving the horrifying shores of that island behind them. They arrived back onto solid land, Imtura bidding a long farewell to her crew, and off they had set for the elven city of Undermount, yet another place she had heard of only in tales at the temple. Then again, the entire trip had been an exercise in firsts and unusual circumstances—she would never have guessed that her first trip out into the world would have brought her to these individuals, not lead to her traveling through all of Morella. They camped in open fields and wooded camps, trading off watch and sharing duties with slowly growing efficiency and the help of Csilla’s seemingly endless patience.

It was one such evening that she found her opportunity, settling in earlier than typical but she was hardly going to complain after days of hard travel she was not familiar with. The two elves had disappeared into the woods, debating the best methods for identifying firewood, when she caught the suspicious pair together once more, heads bent toward each other as they set up their tents. As she watched, Imtura snorted, tossing some quip over her shoulder that had Mal wheezing as she slid one of the poles into place.

Before manners and good sense could remind her that it was a conversation they could very well wish to keep private, she marched across the camp, coming to a stop beside them with her hands on her hips. Threep, as if sensing her intent, or at least the potential for some excitement, emerged to perch on the log beside her.

“Can we help you, Priestess? And I don’t mean in getting out of cooking duties.”

“What are you whispering about all the time? And don’t try to hide it. We’ve,” she indicated Threep, who sat upright with all of the primness he could manage, “both seen you.”

To her annoyance, they traded an amused look, Imtura’s with some amount of what she might almost call encouragement if that actually made any sense. She frowned, barely resisting the urge to stamp her foot, though judging by the expression that crossed Mal’s face as he sat back on his heels, her temptation did not go unnoticed.

“All right, Priestess, calm down. Let’s not get your smallclothes in a twist now.”

Imtura audibly snorted, though managed to look contrite about it when she glared. “It’s nothing that exciting, I swear.”

“Then why are you so reluctant to discuss it whenever Csilla or Tyril are around?” She gasped, staring from one to the other with wide eyes. “Are you planning on committing some kind of crime?”

“You think we’d be more willing to discuss getting in trouble with the law with a priestess of the light around than with an adventurer? You’re probably not wrong about Lord Grump but the kit’s a good sort.”

“‘Lord Grump?’”

He shrugged. “I know, I know, it needs some work. Haven’t gotten a chance to brainstorm proper names yet.”

“We’ve noticed, Mal the Magnificent.”

Groaning, he visibly wilted. “One time. I try out a title one time and I never hear the end of it.”

“Get used to it, buddy.” She winced on Mal’s behalf; the elbow Imtura jammed into his side looked like it hurt. “Anyway, as much as I hate to break up this session of poking fun at Mal, that discussion can continue when our fearless leader comes back while this one can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s about her. And her little grumpy shadow.”

In spite of herself, her lips twitched at the face she was certain said grumpy shadow would have made if he knew what his latest epithet had become. But if they were talking about him, then surely that meant…

“Are they…?” She turned to glance in the direction that the pair in question had disappeared off to. It did make sense, in some way, given how Csilla seemed to be the only one who could get him to relax. “They’re, ah…” What did the priests call it again? “Are they having relations?”

Mal snorted and shook his head. “You can just ask if they’re having sex, Priestess. And no. We don’t think so. Not yet, at least, otherwise someone in the camp would surely know, which means everyone in the camp would know. As for when… That there’s the golden question. Literally.”

Golden question… gold… She looked from one to the other, wearing almost identical grins, and gasped again. “You two have a bet!”

The smile on Mal’s face twisted into a grimace. “A little louder, please? I don’t think they heard you over in Whitetower.”

“Sorry!” She stepped closer, lowering her voice. “Am I right? I’m right though, right?”

“Congratulations,” he returned, deadpan. “You’ve done it. Truly, a deductive marv— Ow!”

Imtura shook her head with faux sympathy, as though she hadn’t just elbowed him again, even harder than the last. “Ignore him, Nia. He’s just upset that the so-called Lord Grump is gonna be getting more action than him soon.”

Laughing at the incoherent sputtering that that received, she squatted beside them. “So what did you say?”

“Are you asking me what I bet?” Beside her, Mal wheezed again, this time as a hand clapped him on the back, hard. “Look what you’ve done, you scoundrel. Corrupted a nice young priestess of light with your gambling and your stories. Next she’ll be wanting to join a thieves’ guild and break into some rich man’s estate.”

“And that’s a problem how?” The question was more croak than coherent sentence, but when she peered at him, this time with genuine worry, he waved her away. “Those stuck up assholes have it coming.”

“To you, maybe. Not to a priestess of light.” Imtura shook her head. “Honestly, the brains of some people… But back to your original question. Mal has ten gold that Tyril’s enough of a mess that it won’t be until we get to Whitetower, or even after we manage to beat the Shadow Court. I think he’s not giving Csilla enough credit. She’s determined, that’s for sure.”

“So you think…?”

“Oh, he’s still an oblivious idiot. Probably not until after we reach Undermount, at least.”

She pursed her lips while Threep made what she could only describe as a nesper’s equivalent of a scoff. “Foolish, both of you. That only holds true if you are expecting him to make the first move.”

When only silence followed his proclamation, he blinked, tail twitching so violently it nearly hit her in the face. “What?”

“Nothing. Just didn’t take you sophisticated beings for gossips is all.”

Despite his diminutive form and position on the ground, the look Threep gave Mal was impressively contemptuous. “Being companions of the elves meant we were deeply entwined in their lives, social and otherwise.”

“Meaning you were all a bunch of nosy busybodies.”

She cleared her throat before Threep could snipe back. “He does have a point though, doesn’t he? I would not put it past Csilla to say something first.”

Before Mal could say anything, Imtura cocked an eyebrow at her. “Would you care to add something to the pot, then?”

For a moment, she hesitated, then, glancing at Threep once more, who gave her hand a nudge, shrugged. “Why not? Five gold on Csilla making the first move before we even reach Undermount.”

Mal whistled, low and long, and made a note on a scrap of parchment, on which he had already written his and Imtura’s wagers. “All right, then. We’ll see what happens.”

“See what happens?”

They all jumped as Csilla stepped into view, closer than Nia was expecting, her companion nearly fading out of the shadows behind her. The woman gave them all a curious look, pushing her hair behind her ear, while Tyril frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Nothing!”

Her response, louder and quicker than normal, was enough to draw a raised eyebrow, but thankfully, Csilla said nothing, instead directing Tyril to set down the wood to start a fire. “If you’re certain. Anyway, we’ll get a fire going so you can start cooking soon, Nia, and Imtura and Mal can finish putting up the tents. Though I suppose if you two don’t finish, it’s your own loss; I’ll take first watch with Tyril while you figure it out.”

In spite of herself, she turned, catching Imtura’s eye as the other woman raised an eyebrow, and burst into laughter.

#blades of light and shadow #tyril #tyril x mc #choices #bolas #Tina writes stuff. #Tina plays Choices. #grumpy elf of my heart #otp: as bright as any star

[hoodwinkedtoohoodvsevil]

sappy "i've loved my spesh for a year now" post

[[MORE]]

one year ago today, i got into twrp.

that's not to say i wasnt familiar with them before june 3rd, 2019. my big love was nsp, so i very much knew and appreciated them! i remember when nsp played on conan i was so happy for all of them and hoped twrp was getting just as much credit as nsp because they totally deserve it! i remember listening to guardians of the zone a couple years back in david's car and latching onto rock n roll best friends (my first favorite twrp song and still one of my faves!) and listening to that a lot. i remember the third starbomb album coming out last april and thinking, wow, this is definitely their best album musically because of twrp's instrumentation! and of course, like everyone else, i was obsessed with starlight brigade when the video came out, and recognized it was twrp's song featuring dan, not just a dan project. but i didn't have their names memorized, and for whatever reason, i thought they were all silent performers? like, i thought none of them talked and sung only talked/performed with talkbox. (i mean, i was like 60% right? at least at the time.)

on this day last year, i was showing my best friend arin and suzy's (gg) hot pepper gaming videos and then i noticed twrp's in the related videos. i was like oh my gosh! i didn't know twrp did one of these! and you can imagine my surprise when sung and meouch started talking fhfhdjdlfj i was literally like WAIT THEY TALK??? I REALLY THOUGHT NONE OF THEM TALKED. it's always really funny to look back on. and even though they spent most of that video suffering i thought they were so funny and likeable that i was like. maybe i should finally actually get into twrp.

and holy shit.

there's so much to twrp that i know i didn't do it all in a day. it's hard for me to get used to a band by listening to all their music once, so i took it album by album. i started with guardians of the zone, because i was already very familiar with it. listened to that on loop for a while, then moved onto together through time since it was their most recent album at the time. then, i went backwards from there.

i searched for all the lore i could. i read wiki pages, spent literal hours reading reddit AMAs, watched every video on their youtube channel and the hour long compilation of their instagram videos. this all took place over the span of like? a few days? a week? it's hard to say really. i fell so fast.

from that point on, i have so many stories, we would be here all day. i remember listening to believe in your dreams on repeat the day i became a d*sney trainer, and the literal day after that, they released hidden potential. then of course, the release of return to wherever, which i listened to nonstop for ages. the album is my jam because i love albums with a cohesive theme and songs that blend into each other. it's hard to beat together through time, but rtw comes really close.

i saw them for the first time live on july 30th, 2019. unfortunately, something happened that night that changed my life for the worse. but that wasn't twrp's fault at all. the show itself was incredible. i'd never been to a general admission concert of one of my faves, it was absolutely surreal that they were all right in front of me. and of course, they put on a hell of a show. they always do. god, i love them.

on august 9th 2019, i went to my first sung stream. it was a party stream and i'm on the east coast, so i stayed up until 3 AM to hear sung give me my first talkbox shoutout. i recorded it and still have the video. it made me smile in the early part of a very dark time in my life.

i made a lot of friends in that stream, we all shared twitters and i'm still friends/mutuals with all of them! and i've only made more friends since, especially at nsp10. nsp10 was incredible for many reasons, but a big one was that the three hours my fiancé and i were waiting outside the venue to be let in, we were just walking around saying hi to my twrp friends, meeting a bunch of them for the first time. and i made new friends! i remember standing in a group, shivering in my heart boner cosplay, and one of the guys saying "you're artie, right? i follow you on twitter, i love your cosplay!" he seemed like he was really gathering the courage to say it to me, he had no idea how happy it would make me! (shoutout to logan! you're awesome!)

really, if any of my twrp friends are reading this, i love you to pieces. meeting you has definitely been a high point of the last 365 days.

again, i have so many stories. but since this is already so long i'm just gonna cut to march 5th, 2020. that was the night i met them. now, i'm not a shy person at all, and over the past few years i haven't really been very socially anxious. i'm able to carry myself in conversation, even with strangers. but i've never met a fave before. let alone four faves at once. so, naturally, everything i had planned on saying completely left my brain. but they're literally the best, so it was still an absolute dream. the first thing sung said when he saw me was "hey you look great!" (my outfit was clearly inspired by his own, fancy orange hat and all, so he probs wanted to Respect The Drip but he was right regardless and also HOLY SHIT) and i had my baby porg gary with me (the sunshine of my life) and they all interacted with him and it was super wholesome.

they played two nights in orlando, and i went to both shows because of course i did. first night was great, second night was even better even though that was my GA show. they played life party on night 2, which might as well be my favorite song of all time. it has carried me through every bad moment since i first heard it. big and small. i have a lyric from it tattoo'd on my arm as a constant reminder that i'm alive, and that is something to be ecstatic about. i also had more room to dance and move around on night 2, and dance and move around i did. then, when the show was over and scatman played, i got out everything else i had. august-november 2019 was actual hell for me, and i was still dealing with the aftermath of it all. but that concert high made me realize, holy shit! all of it is over! it doesn't matter anymore! twrp carried me through one of the roughest periods of my life, and met me at the finish line with a fucking gold medal. i fucking did it. now i have none of the bad, and all of the good. it was one of the best feelings i've ever had, and one of the happiest nights of my life.

since then, twrp continues to keep me going. of course the world has been a total shitshow, but everyone's streams (especially the twrp show) have been the highlight of my week every week.

i've always considered myself a very positive person, but last year was a very bad year for my depression, as well as traumatic at times. and i've always had problems feeling understood. i still do. but twrp said hey! literally nobody understands us. not even ourselves! but that's okay! we want you to be happy and feel loved and supported no matter what. and i really can't thank them enough for it.

this part is mostly for another longer post, but i wanted to mention it since it's also really important. i fully came to terms with being a mlm last year after years of compulsory heterosexuality, and twrp played a big part in me exploring and accepting that about myself. and i was already very secure in my gender identity when i found them, but hearing "this song goes out to all the ladies, fellas, and everyone in between" shook me to my very core. i've never loved a band that literally said "shoutout to trans/nb people" at every concert. god. i love them so fucking much.

so this was even longer than i expected (and i expected it to be long bc yknow. spesh.) but i just have so much love and gratitude for this band. every day of my life i'm so thankful that doctor sung, commander meouch, lord phobos, and havve hogan exist and are spreading all this love and positivity to their fans every day. i've never loved a band like this, and i probably never will. they are truly special.

and it's only been a year!!!!

#artie.txt #twrp #this is super long but if you care about me and twrp and how they've impacted me #then here ya go

[rainydawgradioblog]

a covidsation with yufi

Next up in this interview series is Yufi, local plur-core/EDM band. They just released their self-titled album, which is available on Bandcamp and Spotify. Check em out !! Dance to them in yr bedroom !!

Lola Gil: Tell me about your band. How long have y’all been playing together? How would you describe your sound?

Todd Maegerle: I usually describe Yufi as “plur-core”, but apparently that’s not very descriptive lol. Most people would describe the album we just released as a mix of screamo and y2k throwback electronic/trance/digital hardcore/drum and bass. Yufi has been a project for about three years, but has gone through some pretty significant transformations (started as a math rock project lol).

LG: As an artist, how have you been affected by COVID-19? How was your most recent tour affected?

TM: We had planned a tour that would send us down the west coast, over to Austin, TX for SXSW, then up through Santa Fe, Denver, SLC, etc. back to Seattle. We planned the tour to start on Wednesday, March 11th. Those first couple weeks of March seemed to be when the whole COVID-19 thing really picked up. Two days before our tour was supposed to start, we made the decision to cancel all except the west coast leg. It was a really hard decision to make because we had already exchanged hundreds of messages/emails to artists, venues, showcases for SXSW, etc to make what was looking like a super fun tour. At that point in early March, there were so many unknowns. “Is the COVID-19 panic going to die down in the next week or so?” was a tough question to answer at that exact moment (which seems really silly now lol).

The west coast leg of the tour was super fun, but it was also an apocalypse tour haha. Shows we were really looking forward to playing were getting cancelled while we were driving to that city to play. Attendance was fairly bleak with only a couple exceptions. I think the last show of the tour had something like 80 tickets sold in advance and maybe 10 non-artists actually showed up. We were playing a warehouse in downtown LA, and when we showed up the city was an absolute ghost town. It was surreal. All-in-all it ended up being a really fun west coast run, but also was maybe one of the worst times to start a tour haha.

LG: Is Yufi planning on putting out new merch or music soon?

TM: Quarantine is great for writing new music! I could see it being pretty hard for more traditional bands who get everyone in a room and jam-out a new track, but Yufi has become computer music for the most part, so we kinda just have more free time to work on stuff. But also, I personally get a lot of inspiration to write music by attending shows. When I see a performer I really like, I’ll get really motivated and inspired to work on new stuff. So that’s been happening less since all shows are cancelled :^{

LG: How have you been personally affected by COVID? What has your quarantine experience been so far?

TM: I’m pretty extroverted, so being unable to go out and interact with friends has been hard. Fortunately I live with five really super homies; quarantine would be a lot harder for me if I didn’t have anyone to goof around with in-real-life. Still, I really miss going out and dancing and meeting people and all that. The online music festivals have been fun, but experiencing them through Second Life/IMVU/Minecraft/etc is not quite substitutable for actual live music.

LG: What music have you been listening to recently? What has been your go-to quarantine album?

TM:I’ve honestly almost exclusively been listening to live streams. Like, Charli XCX going live on Grindr’s Instagram to do a DJ set? Yeah I think I’ll tune in. A group/collective/entity called “Hurt-free Network” has been putting on really fun IMVU raves with DJ sets from artists I really like. There’s also a 48+ hour long music festival happening right now called Data Fruits; most of the artists are from the west coast USA or Japan, so when one country is (mostly) asleep the other can take over the stream. So even though I really miss going to shows, it’s been pretty awesome to see how people are still coming together in some form!

LG: Were there any spring shows that you were particularly looking forward to attending that got cancelled?

TM: Yessss ughhhhh way too many :’^{Anamanaguchi, Yves Tumor, 100gecs, Dorian Electra, and a bunch more. Fortunately I saw a couple of them last year, so that eases the pain a little bit. But if I don’t see Ecco2k in 2020 I’m literally going to scream. I’m not gonna make it.

LG: How do you think the Seattle music scene is going to shift post-COVID?

TM: Every musician is going to be a DJ after quarantine and it’s going to be sick. Jokes aside, I think we’re going to need a lot of people to come together to make up for the impact that COVID has made. A lot of venues that are vital to the Seattle music scene are going to have to close doors as a result of the financial hit they’ve taken. I think there will be a lot of artists excited to play shows once it’s safe to, but I’m hoping there will be venues still around to host.

LG: How do you think artists can support each other during these weird and difficult times? 

TM: This is not artist exclusive, but everyone can email their Seattle city council member to enact a rent/mortgage moratorium. That could help lessen the financial burden that COVID has created, which would certainly help artists (and everyone lol).

Aside from that, I feel like I’ve seen a lot of artists supporting each other by listening to and sharing each other’s new releases, tuning into each others live streams, etc. I hope to see more of that in the coming months!

-Lola Gil

[jawnjendes]

i should be running | shawn mendes

chapter 2/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: angst n smut. maybe uuuuhhhhhh lmk if you wanna see anything specific happen with these idiots?? could be smutty, angsty, or even fluffy or sumn. oh and let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist.

masterlist | playlist coming soon

"He might as well have pounced on you," Patrick said, eyes on the screen of his switch. "That look in his eyes… no wonder you're in so deep."

Annalise ignored him as her King Boo threw a red shell at his Dry Bones. That was her response to his statement. Still, her cheeks went hot and red recalling the way Shawn stared her down the other night. It was practically a reflex when it comes to that guy. It didn't really help that he was literally a few yards away.

The stars had a very irritating way of aligning when Annalise and Shawn were supposed to be separated. The one time Annalise decided to hang out with a friend outside of a classroom just so happened to be the same time Shawn did the exact same thing. Not to mention, he was having another impromptu jam session with Alessia, both sat on a picnic table out in the sun. It was the same table as the one from a few nights ago, but there were more people surrounding them. Oh, and Shawn was wearing a particularly tight black tanktop, so if Annalise stared enough his way she would be able to make out the pretty tattoo on the back of his arm.

She and Patrick were sitting under the shade of the biggest tree on the courtyard, wanting to be outside, but definitely not basking in the rare sunlight. Patrick won the Mario Kart race despite Annalise's best efforts. Blame the distraction who was playing guitar and singing audibly.

"Ooo, second place, Flowers," Patrick smugly said. "You've lost your edge."

"Oh, shut up. Let's smash now," Annalise said back, closing the current game.

"Really? In front of your mans?"

She looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. "Shut the fuck up."

They had that type of banter… before Annalise was in a relationship. Before everything else. Annalise was just too flustered and distracted by Mr. Arm Muscles to join in, so she annihilated Patrick at Smash Bros for three rounds.

~

There was a check in every two weeks. There was only one before the semester started, and it was very quick given that Annalise and Shawn were still living under the same roof. Now that there had been some proper physical separation, it was time to do things right. Annalise still had knot after knot forming in her stomach, though. For a split second, her mind went back to diverticulitis and flashbacks of being rolled around on a gurney invaded her mind. She shook it off and marched through the parking lot.

She agreed to meet at Shawn's apartment because the semester starting meant that holes were being burnt in their wallets. They couldn't afford a simple coffee shop hang out, and it was too public for something like this, anyway.

Annalise thought it would have been too awkward for any kind of touch when Shawn answered the door. However, he immediately took her in his arms and hugged her as tight as he could. It was already very different from their last check in.

To be blunt, she really fucking missed being held in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his middle, feeling the warmth consume her whole body. She missed this so much she could cry, but she had to mask it all. Couldn't have Shawn thinking she was having second thoughts about her decision.

Shawn wasn't one to hold back, though. He leaned back and held her hands as he led her inside his place. "I missed you so much. I miss coming home to you."

Annalise didn't know what to say. Shawn's facial features were soft and completely kissable, but she resisted by letting herself into the living room. Not much had changed here in the two weeks she was gone, although she did miss playing her Switch on that huge flat screen. She was still quiet though, and it gave Shawn more room to speak.

"See, this is still like a home to you! Oh, and I still have your key, since you left it here… uh, where did I put it?"

"Shawn," she finally said before he could dash into another room and create more distractions. She nodded towards the couch so he could sit with her.

He looked at her, and his face fell a little. His shoulders hunched as he walked around to the couch. He sat next to her and looked down at his lap.

Annalise tilted her head. "You okay?"

Shawn met her eyes, bemused. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

"Wha- no!" she replied, shocked.

"So we're getting back together?"

"No…"

"Annie…"

"Don't call me that," she said seriously. Then she sighed. "We're checking in. I just wanna see how you're doing."

He shrugged and leaned back, far more relaxed now. "I'm still confused as to why we're doing this. That's all I've been trying to figure out lately."

"Okay, anyway… how are your classes? How's work."

"Annalise, I swear to god…" Shawn groaned, tilting his head back. Then he looked her dead in the eyes and leaned forward. "Do you wanna break up? You moved out-"

"Because I have a dorm."

"-and you left your key behind!"

"Because I don't live here."

Shawn paused, and his expression went from aggravated to just plain sad. "You won't even answer my texts. And don't say it's because you're busy. I know that's not true."

Whatever sympathy was building up was gone. Annalise narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?"

"You think I haven't seen you playing games with that guy in the courtyard?" he asked. "You've never wanted to sit outside with me. And now you suddenly don't have time to answer my texts. C'mon Ann, I'm not an idiot."

She pushed her tongue into her cheek as she listened to that shit. Then, she spoke coldly. "First of all, that guy is Patrick and he's only a friend. Second, I don't know what to say to someone who only says 'I miss you' every ten seconds."

"So you don't miss me at all?"

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is the fucking point?" Shawn got to his feet, completely exasperated. "What exactly are we doing here? Because I don't know what's happening anymore! Am I losing you? Are you gonna come back to me? What the fuck is happening here, Ann?"

She buried her face in her hands for a moment and took a deep breath. She did know just how much Shawn did not like the separation idea, but she hadn't realized just how shaken up he still was.

"I want you to make sure you have your priorities in check."

"What, like I'm some stupid teenager?" Shawn snapped.

Clearly, he was irrational. Annalise wasn't going to try to force him to see it her way, it didn't work when the separation idea was first brought up over a month ago. Sighing, she got up and silently went for the door.

"Ann, honey," Shawn called, following after her. "Wait, wait!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him.

She faced him once again, giving him a look as she yanked her arm back.

"I'm sorry," he told her in a much calmer tone. "Explain it to me again."

"I just don't wanna see you lose your focus for other things," Annalise said. "We really went through it over the summer, remember? I don't wanna be the only thing you worry about."

"Well, I know you're strong, little fighter. But I love you too much to not worry. And I worry even more now that we're on this stupid separation thing."

Annalise kept herself from laughing. "You seem fine during your impromptu mini concerts on the courtyard."

"Yeah, because singing is the other love of my life."

"Mm, you seem comfy with that Alessia girl too."

Shawn raised his eyebrows, now amused. "Jealous?"

Now she had to laugh. "I could ask you the same thing."

"I never knew about Patrick until last week."

"You never asked." Besides, she may have left her other friends in the dark when she got into this relationship. More reasons for the separation. "And I never knew about Alessia."

"Because she's new. You sure you're not jealous?" Shawn asked with a smirk.

Annalise scoffed. "I don't get jealous."

"You told me you don't cry either, but uh…"

Oof. He knows her too well.

She smiled stiffly. "I'll see you again in two weeks."

"You don't have to. You can stay." Shawn placed his hands on her shoulders. "Stay."

"Separation is good," Annalise told him, cupping his face and loving the way he leaned into the touch. "We can't spend every minute together, I think this last summer proved that."

Shawn stared her down for a moment, his big hand moving to hold her wrist. He really tried to understand why all this was happening. He really tried to find other reasons besides the scary idea that his girl wanted to leave him. The priorities thing, the not losing focus thing, the fact that they spent too much time together over the summer… it really smelled like bullshit. Maybe she was slipping through his fingers, and maybe he had to fight before she was completely gone.

"Can I at least kiss you before you go?" he asked, his voice small and soft.

Over the last month, Annalise thought she had done well with keeping a distance and being on her own. She was regaining her own compromised independence and getting back to being a strong lady. She was good at convincing herself that she didn't need Shawn at her side all the time.

Turns out, she's just a giant sucker.

Annalise really should have known better than to do the check in here. It was way too private, too much room for certain things to happen. Shawn kissed her softly once and was about to pull back, but her hands went to the back of his neck and kept their lips together. Without missing a beat, he walked her backwards and trapped her between his body and the wall. His hands planted on either side of her head, practically towering over her as his tongue went into her mouth.

All logic and inhibitions went out the door in less than a second. It was like they were reuniting after being on opposite ends of the planet. It was like this was the last time they would ever get a moment like this again. Annalise slid her hands down his torso, feeling the heat of his body through his white tee. When she locked her arms around his shoulders, Shawn bent a little to grab the backs of her thighs and hook them around his hips. It didn’t take long for Annalise to groan into his mouth when he circled his hips into hers. It certainly didn’t take long for Shawn to get hard in his jeans either. Without breaking the kiss, he walked them both into his bedroom and kicked the door closed behind him.

It was a mess of wrinkling bed sheets and clothes flying to the floor. Annalise's ripped leggings and Shawn's t-shirt made it off their bodies, and then he grabbed her shoulder and roughly pushed her onto her back. Both of their hearts pounded as he crawled on top of her and attached their lips together again.

They didn't even make it to the pillows. Shawn was trailing wet kisses along her neck, his fingers hooking into her cotton underwear. In one swift motion, he pulled the measly fabric down her legs. There wasn't any room for slow, sensual touching and building each other up. They were already as stressed and needy as could be. Annalise was just aching for him between her legs, and she pulled on his waist to bring him closer, her stomach flipping at the heat on his skin.

Suddenly, Shawn paused and held himself up on his elbows. His lips were shiny, swollen, and absolutely gorgeous. Annalise couldn't help but trace the bottom one with her thumb. Then, their eyes met and it threatened to spoil the heat of the moment. Shawn's eyes were soft and sparkling, the rough neediness gone out of nowhere. He usually had that look when things would move slower, when he was about to bare his soul and spill a bunch of sweet nothings. He looked at her face and gently stroked her cheek, making her skin tingle so much she wanted to scratch it away.

"My beautiful girl," he said softly.

It was sweet, but Annalise did not want sweet at the moment. Her fingers went into his hair and gently tugged at the pretty locks, keeping a sultry eye on him.

"Fuck me."

A smirk tugged at the corner of Shawn's mouth before he leaned down to kiss her again. "Condom?"

She nodded and then proceeded to take off her lace cardigan while he went to the nightstand drawer. Her hands trembled as she dropped more of her clothes onto the floor, leaving her completely naked. She rolled onto her front, watching Shawn pull off his jeans and briefs in one go. Her mouth watered just from the sight of his naked body, and she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

Shawn looked into her brown eyes, licking his lips. His eyes trailed over her back and plump ass, his cock twitching at the thought of taking her that way. But he hasn't been with her intimately in far too long, and he needed to be able to hold her and see her face. Yes, it's cheesy as fuck but that's what happens when you're stupidly in love with the goth chick. Yes, Shawn was very stupidly in love with Annalise.

He circled his finger with a cocky smirk, signaling her to turn onto her back. When she obliged, he crawled on top of her with the intention of fully warming her up and building up her high, but the way she kissed him and wrapped her legs around his waist indicated that she was ready. The way that she whispered in between kisses for him to fill her up was also a good indicator as well.

"Whatever you want, baby," he told her as he grabbed his base and slowly inserted himself.

It didn't take long for her soft, sweet panting to fill the room. Her fingernails dug into Shawn's back, and he snaked his arm around her shoulders, holding her as close as he could. Their noses touched and his necklace dangled in the valley of her breasts, it felt familiar and good in a way. Resting his head in the crook of her neck, Shawn let out a slow deep breath and appreciated the feeling of their bodies connecting. Slowly but surely, he started to gently rock his hips against hers, wanting this to last.

Ann whined in the back of her throat, raking her fingers down his back. "Harder… Mmm, ruin me."

Shawn picked his head up and looked down at her. She was biting her lip, and pressing down on his back, wanting him the way she said. And who was he to deny her?

With a deep breath, he picked himself up on his knees and held her waist, pistoning his hips as quickly as he could. A groan sounded from deep in his chest, his eyes fluttering shut. He breathed out a soft "fuck" feeling her clench around him.

"Mm, fuck yes!" Ann cried out, grabbing at the sheets above her. "Oh, fuck, fuck me!"

The bed creaked and hit the wall repeatedly, mixing in with the sounds the two of them were making. Shawn couldn't help but feel smug as he watched Ann's assertive and bold demeanor crumble underneath him. Only times like these did he see her fall completely at his mercy, and god, it turned him on so much. He absolutely loved that he could bring her down to this level, make her feel so good she was rendered incoherent. He slid his hand up her body, stopping for a moment to grab her breast. Then, Ann took hold of his wrist, her eyes wide and her bottom lip jutting out. They both knew what to do. Shawn leaned over her again to properly wrap his fist around her neck.

"Like that, baby?" he asked between huffs of breath, trying to keep his movements consistent. "You like it when I fucking choke you? You like getting fucked like this, you dirty fucking girl?"

Ann mumbled and sputtered under his hold, attempting to nod her head.

"What about this?" he egged on, moving his free hand down in between them. He rubbed quick circles into her clit, causing her to clench around him even more. "Ooh, fuck. Yeah, you like that, you fucking love that."

Her mouth was open, but no sound came out. Shawn decided he liked it better when she was verbal about how he made her feel, so he moved his hand from her neck to the side of her face. Something of a snarl came out of him as he staggered his thrusts, and he found himself grabbing her chin, slightly squishing her cheeks. His nose touched hers, hot breath on her lips before he tasted her tongue. His fingers were relentless on her clit, the feeling so good he almost wanted to go down there and suck it into his mouth until she was writhing.

The sounds coming out of her were just as good, though. She spoke, sounding absolutely wrecked and just the way Shawn liked her to be. “Don’t stop… please don’t stop…”

“Mm, anything you want, baby…” he mumbled against the corner of her mouth.

It was almost ironic because Ann was the one on her back getting fucked senseless, but Shawn was ready to do anything for her. All she had to do was ask. Who was more submissive here?

He hovered over her, watching her tits bounce as he pounded into her. He watched the hair at the top of her head get messier and messier with every move. He really had to admire the fact that her intense winged liner had stayed intact this entire time. Only his Ann…

"Fuck, you look so good like this," Shawn mumbled, brows knitted. He couldn't stop himself from rambling, now feeling as fucked as she did. "God baby, you're so fucking good at taking my cock… You're so good to me… Fuck…"

Ann moved her small hands up his chest, wrapping the chain of his necklace around her finger. The look on her face changed from absolutely wrecked to something more serious. Her free hand tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck, and then she was tilting her head back and panting wildly.

"I'm close," she warned, squeezing her eyes shut. "Don't stop, I'm gonna come!"

Shawn could feel it too, and his heart nearly fell out of his body. He felt the heavenly pulses around his cock and rubbed at her clit just to make it feel that much better for her. "Fuck yeah, give it to me honey…"

She let out a noise that was both the cutest and sexiest thing he's ever heard. Her voice went up several octaves as she cried out, and her entire body twitched the way Shawn liked to see it. He growled through his teeth, thriving in the tight pulsing around his cock and the burning scratch marks on his back and shoulders. He thrust as hard as he could, needing to reach his own high now that Ann had hers. Roughly, he moved her wrists from his shoulders and pinned them above her head, his jaw going slack as he let himself go. Steady pulses of cum spilled into the condom, and Shawn tilted his head back, his orgasm so good and sweet he couldn't make any sound. He only panted and erratically gave a few more thrusts until he was spent.

Sweat coated both of their bodies, and their heavy breathing was the only sound in the air. Shawn pulled out and rolled onto his back, his eyelids heavy and body melting into the mattress. He smiled contently and then tapped Ann's wrist.

"C'mere..."

The two of them crawled up to the pillows and went under the covers, both so sleepy and content that they didn't care about the damp spot. Shawn held onto Ann's hand, waiting for her to desperately crawl into her arms. She was always shamelessly in need of cuddles and affection post orgasm, and Shawn loved every bit of it because it meant he could hold her and nose at her hair as she slept. What he couldn't put into words was put into all the chaste little touches he gave her. And she lapped it up and let herself be touched and loved every time without fail.

Shawn fell asleep before he could realize Ann was holding herself back.

~

It doesn't matter if it's the same night or the morning after, the walk was still shameful no matter what. Annalise was just glad that Shawn fell asleep on his side of the bed and not on her chest like he typically did. It was much easier for her to slip out of bed, put her clothes back on, and sneak out of the apartment. The knots in her stomach didn't let up once she was in the car, though. They did agree that this was a check in after all, and she could honestly say... dick still bomb.

Annalise got back to campus well after ten o'clock. It wasn't that late, but she still felt off, like she was sneaking back into her parents' house after going to a party she was told not to attend. She felt both thrilled and terrified that she did something very wrong, and the evidence was all there in her shaky legs.

Of course, Stella was sitting in the armchair facing the door when Annalise finally made it back. She wasn't alone, though. Camila was on the tiny sofa, and she perked up.

"Hey, girl," she greeted with a cheeky grin.

Stella had a knowing smile on her face, making Annalise feel very exposed. As much as she tried to fix her sexed up appearance in the car, it was easy to tell what Annalise had been up to from the amount of time she was gone.

"So, is Shawnnalise back on?" Stella asked in a teasing voice.

"They were off?" Camila asked in shock, looking back and forth between the two girls.

"That is the actual worst name I've ever heard," Annalise replied, and then her heart stopped as her phone buzzed in her hand. Without another word, she dashed into her bedroom.

"You owe me details!" Stella called after her.

Annalise didn't say anything as she shut the door and leaned against it for a moment. She sighed and let her book bag drop onto the floor, and then she bent down to untie her platform sneakers and took them off. Her phone buzzed again, and it made her insides heavy.

Honestly, she had enough guilt on her shoulders. Did she really have to add more to her plate by tapping that ass and running away? Heart in her throat, Annalise looked at the notifications.

The newest text was from the gaming club group chat. Patrick was asking when everyone was available to go to Bart. The nerves came down for a split second before reading the other text.

"Where are you?"

Annalise opened the text too, so she definitely couldn't just ignore him. She sent back some excuse about having an assignment due at midnight, and then she let the anxiety and guilt consume her for the rest of the night.

________

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @shawmndes @wronglanemendes

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #3 days in a row i know!!!!!!!!! #but after this we slowin it down laid ease!!!! #i wont be overwhelming with that sweet shawnblr content anymore #truth be told this is how far i got in me notebooks lol #anyways tysm for readin #tysm for the lov this series has been receiving #its keepin me motivated

[dragonofyang]

ABTV Mar 4 Transcript

A full transcript of the ABTV Voltron March 4 interview with JDS and LM is below the cut. Special thanks to @voltronisruiningmylife for helping me get it done since it was a monster to transcribe.

@felixazrael @crystal-rebellion @leakinghate

Vrepit Sa!

KC: It’s been a very long road, and here we are at the end of it. We are the Afterbuzz TV Voltron: Legendary Defender after-show and this is our series retrospective. We are--we’re gonna talk about character arcs. We’re gonna talk about stories. We’re gonna talk with some very special guests, and we are, as always, going to have a wonderful time tonight because within the next two hours we are finishing this up and then the Tavern of Lions will be closing its doors for good. So, thank you for joining us for this incredible episode and for this incredible ride, and for the very last time team, it’s time to form Voltron.

Voice overlay: You’re tuned into Afterbuzz TV, the ESPN of TV talk. Now let the buzz begin.

MS: I’m not crying, you’re crying.

KC: We’re all crying. Everyone’s crying. It’s fine, everything’s fine! Hi. Happy Monday.

MS: Happy Monday, everybody, yeah.

KC: Welcome to the end of the universe. There’s a restaurant here. Yeah this is what you’re in for the next two hours. Hello, everyone, we are the Afterbuzz TV Voltron: Legendary Defender after-show. This is the series retrospective. This is everything. This is it. We are going to talk about it all in summary for the most part, and we’re going to have a grand ol’ time. I have with me tonight green lion Megan Salinas.

MS: Hey, everybody!

KC: Rejoining us this evening, red lion Emma Fyffe!

EF: Hey! It’s nice to be back for just this one, you know, very special, sort of, series retrospective. Thanks for having me.

KC: It is so good to have you back for the wrap party. I am black lion Katie Cullen and we have our two wonderful special guests joining us again this week for the last time. We have our showrunners Joaquim dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery.

All hosts: [cheering]

KC: Welcome back, you lovely human beings, and thank you for giving us this show.

JDS: Oh, please.

LM: Thanks for being fans of it. I think we’ve probably said it 8 billion times, but we loved making the show. We loved how passionate so many of our fans were about the show, and it was just, like, a labor of love and it was us just trying to make something that really spawned from our nostalgia and all of the things that influenced us over the years.

JDS: Yeah, I mean, I think that’s it. It was, you know, we loved this property going back to a time when our brains weren’t able to really process what story was. We just knew, “we like that” and that stayed with us.

EF: It was interesting. Today on Twitter, somebody had tweeted something that was basically a poll of what were the first five anime series you can remember watching. And for me Voltron was definitely one of them, and it’s one of those things where again I was too young to really process what was happening, but I just went, “This is cool! I like this thing!”

MS: Yeah, it came out at a time when you didn’t even know what anime was.

EF: Oh yeah!

MS: And so you’re just like, you’re just like, “this is cool, it’s unique, there are robots, there’s an awesome girl pilot”. And yeah, it was a good--for it’s time-for it’s time it was a fantastic adventure, and I feel like you guys updated that feeling very well.

JDS: Aw, thanks.

KC: It definitely was. This was just a wonderful thing. Before we get started, we have house rules. We always have house rules. Yeah, the spoiler warning is, of course, down because we are talking about literally everything. If you would like to be a part of this conversation, if you’re watching live, hello, welcome to the livechat. There is also our hashtag #ABTVVoltron. And, um yeah, this is going to be a big one, I think, and as always the third, final, and most important house rule is be nice or get out. [laser sound effect] And you say that we’re joking, but, um, those of you that were in livechat before stream were there when we disabled it as a test. And I’ve banned three people already tonight. So, we’re not kidding: be nice or ya gone.

MS: I do have to ask, Josh, where are you getting these sound effects?

EF: I know, right? The sound effects are great!

KC: Oh, they’re wonderful.

Josh: I have a plethora of so many things.

KC: We appreciate your plethora. Josh is our Coran tonight and has been for this entire season and he is absolutely wonderful and we love him. But yeah, everyone has opinions. Please feel free to express your opinion, please feel free to express your opinions in a respectful manner. Respectful to your fellow people in chat, respectful to your hosts, respectful to our guests. And if you fail to be respectful, ya done.

MS: And here’s the thing guys, it is perfectly okay to disagree. It’s okay to disagree with all of us. We don’t speak for the entire fanbase. This is all just only our opinions.

EF: I was gonna say, I don’t think we even all have the exact same opinions.

MS: No, no.

JDS: You embrace those differences.

KC: That’s what makes this show fun. If we all sat down and said “Well, I like this thing!” “Well, me too!” “Me three!” “Me four!” Now let’s fill another 45 minutes. That’s not how this works.

EF: No, definitely. Yeah.

KC: So, yeah. Them’s the rules, ladies and gentlemen. And before we get going, I would like to toast to Voltron.

[MS and EF “aww”]

EF: I have actually not had one of these before.

KC: This is the first time we’ve had the Sendak on Ice on air, and it’s going to be the last time I make one of these because it turns out one of the main ingredients has been out of production since 2016.

EF: Oh, wow.

KC: So, love you guys.

EF: Up high.

[indistinct chattering]

KC: To Voltron!

[drumroll]

[John Cena airhorn meme sound]

EF: Tastes like--it tastes like a Jones soda or something. Like a fancy soda that comes in a glass bottle.

JDS: Yeah, it’s good.

KC: I like ‘em sweet. Straight quintessence shot right to the heart. Alright, let’s get rolling.

EF: Okay.

KC: Let’s pick up where we left off from last week, actually, because there was a big part of the, uh, last episode of season 8 that we didn’t have time to touch on and that’s the epilogues. Now, I actually want to open the floor to you guys ‘cuz I--my understanding is there’s a story behind them? And we’d love to hear it.

JDS: Yeah, there is. Um, so, you know, when we originally conceived of the epilogues, uh, you know, the conceit was that we were gonna do these goofy kind of throwaway things that were, like, I don’t know, catching up with characters that we didn’t, you know.

EF: Oh yeah!

JDS: So we had one that was, was--

EF: Like characters we met in the space mall?

JDS: Yeah, like characters we met in the space mall and what they ended up doing. We had, like--

MS: What’s Kaltenecker up to?

JDS: We had Zethrid, I think, teaching, like, a crossfit class.

LM: Yeah, she had a whole crossfit line.

MS: Oh my gosh!

JDS: And it was cute, and it was fun. Um, and you know, by the time we were sort of crafting that portion, it’s right when we were sort of on the receiving end of the fallout from season 7, specifically the Adam and Shiro stuff.

KC: Sure.

JDS: Which we totally understood, there’s sort of a, you know, a big story that surrounds all that. So we made a decision to sort of, uh, recraft the epilogues to one, I think, include Shiro’s beat, but as a result all the other characters, you know, it would’ve felt--I don’t know--it would’ve felt a little weird if we just done, like, “hey--”

LM: Yeah, silly crossfit Zethrid--

EF: Then Shiro’s wedding! [indistinct] Which everyone was at, too!

JDS: Uh, so, you know, we definitely… They were sort of, Shiro specifically was crafted around the idea that we were attempting to reach out to the fanbase that was affected negatively by--

EF: Sure, absolutely.

JDS: --you know, the storyline between Adam and Shiro. So, uh, you know, I think even as we were doing it, like Lauren and I were looking at each other and we were like, “Some people are gonna hate this. Some people are gonna view this as like, a giant band-aid. Some people are gonna view this as, like, pandering. We knew it. We sort of ran it up the chain, uh, at DreamWorks and, you know, there’s again--we’ll get into the background of all that Adam and Shiro stuff. But thankfully, they were--they were open to allowing us to do it because it really was our way of trying to canonically confirm on screen the sort of vagaries around his orientation.

EF: Yeah, I think that I just sort of wanted to address that right off the bat. Just-just from the point of view, is like, for me as a viewer watching that scene, I did not feel like that scene was pandering. I understand why people might feel that way and might feel like it was a big, giant band-aid, but at the same time, a lot of complaints that people had was, “Well, they didn’t even have any conversations together!” I’m like, “This is supposed to be a couple years later, you guys. It wasn’t--this isn’t like, the day after.”

JDS: Yeah, but I honestly think that ideally, had--had the story been available to us--

EF: Sure.

JDS: --had, had the studio at the time been open to us exploring that, we don’t like to just jam characters together.

EF: No, absolutely.

JDS: Our ideal situation would have been to build that relationship.

EF: Oh, sure, yeah, definitely. Um, yeah, but I-I-I feel like I-I understand the mixed feelings about it, but ultimately I’m appreciative of, like you said, the message of, “Okay, well, we feel like people felt like they weren’t a hundred percent sure that Adam and Shiro were definitely a couple, so like, let’s-let’s really address the fact that-that Shiro, who is your, like, super-manly hero is a gay man,” and-and-and the importance of that shouldn’t be belittled by any stretch of the imagination.

JDS: It shouldn’t, but I, you know, again it’s-it’s sort of like we-we can see this thing from a multifaceted view. So, like, as an outsider, I’ve looked at shows and immediately sort of written it off as, like, “Ah, here we go again.”

Hosts: Yeah, yeah, sure.

JDS: I-I think we totally get it. I think we were hoping that people would be able to kind of read between the lines, and there were certain people that could. And I think we have a relationship with you guys, ya know, we talk and hang out so you guys sort of understand where we stand on the issues. So, um, I think that-that plays into it and, you know, obviously appreciate your understanding. I don’t know.

EF: Why, yeah, as you say, I can’t look at this show without my own biases of knowing you guys and having had conversations with you about, like, the process of making this show.

JDS: That’s right.

EF: So…

JDS: Um, but I think, you know, if you’ll allow us to just go back to the sort of, like, the story point between Adam and Shiro, you know, and this isn’t… I think it’s more emblematic of kind of the state of the industry overall and our specific little nook of animation, which was, we were right in this, like, middle area and-and that goes for us as showrunners and for the show in general. So, we weren’t creator-owned, we weren’t creator-driven--I mean, we were creator-driven in the fact that they allowed us to tell a deep story the way we wanted to--but we don’t-we didn’t create Voltron. You know what I mean? For all intents and purposes, this is, like us taking over something like Transformers.

EF: Sure, one hundred percent.

JDS: So there was only so much leeway we had with the stories that we could tell, and honestly, when the Adam and Shiro storyline was sort of being played out and we were sort of meeting some resistance, you know, Lauren and I kind of looked at each other for a moment and said, like, “How are we gonna handle this? Is this something we, like, bail on? Or, like, what do we do here? Like, do we just, like, up and leave? You know, that really wasn’t an option for us.

EF: Of course not.

JDS: And yeah, but also, you know because we had a crew, just like--

LM: It’s not-it’s not just like, “Oh I can’t afford my mortgage!” You know, we have a crew that we care about we brought onto this show. If we abandoned them, we-we don’t know what’s in store for them. We don’t know, do they get to stay on? Do they get to keep their jobs? Does someone else come on and then they’re working under someone else that they didn’t sign up for? Or--

JDS: Or they’re working under someone else that’s just gonna be like, “Alright, we’re just gonna finish the show and not really do right by the rest of it.” Like--

Hosts: Yeah.

LM: We, regardless of what we could do specifically within the show, we knew that at least we could send the larger thematic message through the show, and so that kind of became our focus.

KC: Sure.

JDS: Right, so to get into the weeds of it just a little bit, our original conception, like our original idea for Adam and Shiro, it’s-it’s similar to what you guys saw play out on-screen. There were differences. They both shared an apartment, the scene that you saw, it didn’t take place in, like, the officer’s lounge. Adam was not a member of the Galaxy Garrison, he was a dude that had a job that looked like a working professional. And they had a conversation that clearly displayed that they loved each other and that the relationship was just sort of coming to an end because Shiro was choosing, you know, the Garrison over their relationship. You know, as we sort of got through the process of premise, script, it went all the way down the line. It got storyboarded. And then at some point, you know, we received pushback from the studio and you know, we were sort of a little confused, like, “hey, how did it go, like, so far down the line before we received pushback?” And you know, this is not like a, like, a vilifying of DreamWorks or anything, like, every exec that we ever interacted with was, it was like, “hey, we understand why you want to tell this story. We understand where you’re coming from. It’s a little bit bigger than that. You know, there’s-there’s other, sort of, controlling parties with Voltron which makes it unique. It’s not just a DreamWorks-owned property.” And it just--I think logistically it just got really, really weird.

EF: Well, and like you were saying, it-it’s not something--it isn’t something that you created, so there were certain limitations in terms of, as you say, like, what, how far you could go with stuff you wanted to do with the story, I think.

JDS: Well, yes, but I mean there’s also a, you know, weird sort of hypocrisy there with that. Like, we’re able to show thousands of characters, you know, basically dying on-screen, [hosts indistinctly shouting over him] but we can’t--

MS: --that planet that-that Lotor was working with being on fire! But two people that love each other--

JDS: It’s inherent hypocrisy, but it’s like, one that’s frustrating for us as creators, but I think when we sort of got, you know, we sort of revised the script, we sort of revised, you know, we tried different avenues and it was clear that it was something that wasn’t available to us. It was a storyline, so we revised it. So we made the revision, we basically-we essentially made them like Goose and Maverick for all intents and purposes. It was like they were, you know--we revised the setting. We revised that--what the nature of their relationship. And as we sort of, like, moved down the process, you know, we got to the point where Earth’s invasion was happening and we were like, “We’ve seen Voltron cut through, like, every Galra cruiser. We’ve seen the Galra basically reduced to competitive,” like, not a joke at that point, but we were looking for ways to make them intimidating. We were looking for ways to, like, make Earth’s loss feel heavier.

KC: Yeah, you want them to stop being Stormtroopers.

JDS: Yeah, exactly. So, um, you know, we decided to put Adam on the front lines, to make, you know, Santa’s decision that much--her hubris and all that mess, you know--all the more sort of real. And-and, you know, so at that point it was like, essentially we were like, “Okay, it’s like Tom Cruise crying over Anthony Edwards in Top Gun. Sorry, anybody that’s not forty, you don’t understand that reference.

LM: They were flight partners.

KC: I’ve seen Top Gun.

EF: I understood that reference.

JDS: They were flight partners.

LM: They were flight partners, Anthony Edwards died in a… what was it?

JDS: F-14 Tomcat.

LM: Yeah.

MS: I’m sure the reboot will be out in a couple years.

EF: [indistinct]

KC: They better have volleyball. They better have volleyball, I tell you what.

JDS: That’s right.

KC: Anyway.

JDS: But we got into even weird situations where it was like, you know, I had a, like, Tracer statue, like, prominently placed on my desk, and like, we were like, “Hey, this awesome show Overwatch, with which we share a bunch of fans, like, has Tracer as, like, their lead character and she’s awesome.”

KC: The poster girl for the game of the year is a lesbian.

JDS: That’s right.

EF: And I was gonna say, I-I think too probably for you guys, and I mean, I may be making assumptions that are completely incorrect here, but I think there was a level of, you know, so many people were aware of your involvement with shows like Legend of Korra that had an ending wherein two women ended up in a relationship with one another, which again, actually, when you-when you look at it’s vague-ish.

JDS: It’s vague, but I will say it’s paid off because their relationship built naturally through the body of the show.

EF: That’s very true.

JDS: And that’s what’s important, you know, I think that is what’s important. We were obviously approaching Shiro’s orientation from-through flashbacks trying to show that he was in a-just a mature relationship.

EF: Yeah.

JDS: Um, so it was different.

EF: A-and I think I’ve had some conversations, and I actually wrote an article about it for fandom one time where I was discussing the fact--and this was pre, uh, the final season coming out--and I was basically saying, you know, I understand people’s frustration with the whole Shiro scenario, however, just because the person who he was in a relationship with got killed off, like, doesn’t mean that he’s no longer gay. And I-but I-being completely understanding of people bemoaning the trope of “bury your gays”, which definitely does exist and I’m not saying that it doesn’t and that it’s not a problem, but it is important to know that, again, you have this character who is very much your sort of quintessential, like, alpha male.

JDS: That-that was the trope that we were trying to, like, sort of step on was that, you know. I grew up with characters like Duke. To a much lesser degree, he’s a big, giant robot Optimus Prime. The idea of Optimus Prime being with another Optimus Prime was off the table. Like it was a no-go.

KC: That’s because he’s with Megatron.

JDS: Exactly.

MS: Obviously! That is canon!

KC: Yes! They’re obviously exes and that’s why the war happens. [laughter] But the “bury your gays” thing, it sounds like-it sounds like it was either gonna be bury your gays or no gays and that’s a rough choice.

JDS: Okay, well, okay, so here’s where we arrived at this. And-and again, you know, we were pointing to things like Overwatch. We were pointing to Steven Universe, saying like, “Guys.”

EF: Oh, absolutely!

JDS: They’re different scenarios. We, I mean, we were in a slightly different position. We didn’t have, you know, that position of being the creators of this IP. And we also weren’t a video game that was directly marketed to, like, teens and above. We were, for all intents and purposes, like, started as a show for boys, like, 6 to 11 to sell as many toys as possible. And that’s just, like, a fact. That’s business and-and it sort of is what it is.

LM: Yeah, I think another unfortunate factor is the fact that animation is so far ahead of the schedule as far as releases that, you know, sometimes really important decisions are being made before people even realize what the core audience should be and you have to--it’s a little bit like gambling, kind of--you gotta put all your bets on this one area, and hope that that plays out.

EF: Oh, yeah! Well because it’s before you can get--because you’ve got the majority of your content written before you can even really gauge an audience reaction at all, as you say, let alone, like, determine your core audience.

KC: Animation is a multiple-year pipeline, a lot of people don’t get that.

JDS: But yeah, specifically with season 7 and 8, we basically held onto season 7. So season 8 was, like, done by the time season 7 was dropping. We had, like, a month left. When reactions for season 7 started coming in and that was-that was day of the drop. We were in a weird position. To DreamWorks's credit, I think the tide started changing internally. They came back to us and said, “Okay, hey, we're open to explore this relationship between Adam and Shiro.” So we were in this weird position where we had, like, all the animation done we had $0.00 left in the budget in terms of like what we could do, and it was like, “Alright we know Adam's fate is what it is, do we do this and sort of, like, take this step knowing that we're going to take some flack?” And we decided to do it, so we revised the dialogue. It was for--you can probably see it in the animation. If you really pay attention, it's like, it's literally our editor cutting out mouths and like puppeting different dialogue. The dialogue is pretty vague, it's sort of the best we could do, and that was a process of, sort of, discussing what we could actually have them say. Season 7 goes down the way it does, pretty-pretty… I think our other big “if we could go back and do it again,” we would not have gone to Comic-Con. [Hosts make “ohhh” noise] We would not have shown the clip at Comic-Con.

LM: We learned a big lesson about managing expectations [everyone echoes LM saying “expectations”] for sure. It’s-it’s such a weird thing because, you know, we’re-we’re in this show, we’re making 78 episodes. You kind of get to this point where you really can’t see the forest through the trees. Like, we lost a bit of our objectivity, and so we’ve kind of gone through all of these versions of the Adam and Shiro scene. And so when we kind of got to this point where, like, some light was peeking in and people were revisiting what we could do, we wanted to celebrate.

Host: Yeah, of course!

LM: Like, we were so excited.

[Indistinct]

EF: Yeah, no, I-I mean, I-I’m--I was there during that Comic-Con panel. I talked to you guys right after and-and I was literally, I-I had been--I had been at the Geek and Sundry and Alpha party the night before, I had stayed out way too late, and I was sitting next to my friend Michelle, and during that scene between Shiro and Adam it was very clear to us that they were a couple. Like, she, like, I remember she, like, started--when my friend Michelle gets excited she just hits people--so she starts, like, hitting my arm and then we were both so excited we, like, tried to lean in but we were both very tired and we clocked heads. And-And I--but again for me, it was like I--and I-I texted Josh--and I was like, “Oh my god, this is so great!” And yeah. And-and I remember watching season 7 in, you know, in the comfort of my own home and-and-and seeing how things went down for Adam and feeling sad, but also thinking, “hoo, I have a feeling there’s gonna be some people that are really mad about this.”

JDS: Yeah, yeah yeah. And it was, I mean, totally understandable. I think--

LM: Yeah, I think, like, again once-once that came down, it kind of snapped us and made us realize, “Oh yeah, this is what we didn’t see.” Like, this is-this is what happens when you’re, like, so, like, laser-focused on the show that you-you don’t get to compute it through the fans’ eyes anymore. You’re kind of just in the creator space.

EF: I think, also you know, you were contending with a fanbase who--so, like, growing up I was really into Gundam Wing. So, to me, it is not surprising that there’s such a large, sort of young, teenage girl fanbase of this show because it sparked a lot of the same sort of, like, fandom interests that I had for Gundam Wing when I was-when I was a teenage girl.

KC: Teenage girls like fighting robots so much.

EF: Girls like fighting robots and cute boys piloting them. That’s just-I’m just throwing that out there!

JDS: Girls also like genuine character. I think that’s the thing that--and that--it dawned, I think we knew it because we had worked on, like, Avatar and we worked on Korra, and we knew that there was an audience thirsting for that type of content. So when we go to Comic-Con and the crowds, every time we went to a different con, it was like more and more female representation in the crowds and more and more questions about the characters and not so much about the big you know.

EF: Definitely.

JDS: You know, I think our, sort of like, machine was in place for what the show was being marketed towards and we were like, “That’s a train that is not really stopping.” But our audience, we recognize, is diverting another way.

MS: Absolutely. And that’s, not to bring other shows into it, but there are other shows where they’re, they experience that same sort of pressure point where the-the show was intended for a particular demographic to sell particular merchandise to a particular group, and when another group latches onto it and gets really excited about that, instead of, sort of, course-correcting and being like, “Oh, we can-we can sell to this group,” instead the show gets taken off the air.

EF: Yeah.

JDS: It’s, like, viewed as a failure or whatever.

KC: Young Justice.

MS: Yeah. I wasn’t gonna name any names!

KC: I mean, we know that’s what happened to it.

JDS: But the great thing, though--

KC: And now it’s back!

JDS: Yeah, it’s back because I think culturally we’re in a very different place with regards to what animation, who it’s playing to, which is awesome.

LM: Yeah, the type of shows that we always wanted to make and always wanted to work on. I think we talked a little bit about this last week, but there was no avenue to really make those shows when we started Voltron, and we were very used to playing in our animation boys toys box. And now those avenues exist, which is magnificent. It’s huge for us because, you know, there was a time when we honestly, we didn’t know if we’d see it in our career. We were always the sad people like, “We’re in America, if we were in Japan we could make these shows.”

JDS: We were also like, “We’re gonna have to figure out really clever ways to work in, you know, these bigger elements and the more mature storyline.

MS: That’s what you guys were talking about a lot last week, is wanting to make the show something bigger than what people expected it to be. To elevate it to something more important.

JDS: But I--so I mean, we’ll continue on and sort of, like, explain how everything played out all the way through-through the-the epilogue stuff. But to DreamWorks’ credit, like, look, they’ll-they afforded us a ton of freedom to explore story and build characters with depth, and like-like heart-wrenching backstories where we’re like, “Is this villain, like, am I feeling true emotion for this villain’s, like, arc right now?” This is, you know, that that’s stuff a-and these types of shows, it’s sort of few and far between. And I know, you know, I’m sure there’s a whole contingent of the fanbase that’s like, you know, “Whatever, dude. Big excuse.” I get it, we all get it. We’ve all-we’ve all sort of been there, but for us it was a big deal.

EF: Yeah, I’m never ever gonna get over baby Lotor, ever.

JDS: It’s tragic. It’s sad. I know!

EF: He’s so cute! Why did they animate him so cute!

JDS: I know!

MS: His eyes were so big.

KC: [indistinct] gone full anime.

JDS: I was having a baby at around that same time. I was like, “My son!”

KC: [singing] “Look at my son!”

MS: And-and talking about a little bit about representation, I know that obviously the Adam and Shiro and the-the epilogue is what a lot of people really wanted us to discuss tonight, but, um, I had one or two people reach out also wanting to discuss a little bit of Ezor and Zethrid because that was… When-when they got their final story beat, I was so-I was so satisfied with it. It was--again, I don’t want to speak for anybody except for myself, like I don’t represent any group other than me. My opinions are my own--but seeing their relationship and seeing the-the way their arc went, I was very satisfied with their sort of redemption arc and sort of all but confirming that yeah they were a couple.

JDS: Right.

KC: As the biromantic ace woman on the panel, I believe I screamed “space pirate lesbians” when that happened. Can confirm, space pirate lesbians.

EF: I enjoyed that, as well as my new ship: Veracxa.

Hosts: [cheering]

JDS: Veracxa. I think that’s about as legit a ship you’re ever gonna get.

MS: Emma texting me in the middle of my-my watch through season 8 going, “Hey, they’ve had one conversation and I’m all about it.”

KC: I just want Rizavi to puppet master all of this. She is the one, like, leaving notes in people’s lockers or going, “Hey! Do you want to eat lunch together?”

MS: And not only that, she’s taking Kinkade’s camera and turning this into a show. It is absolutely.

JDS: It’s like, Real World on the Atlas

EF: I was-I was gonna say, it’s like Tara’s House.

JDS: How dare you! Generational, you kids! It’s Real World!

KC: She just brings the footage back, puts one clip of it on the internet, and says, “Selling it to the highest-bidding network.”

MS: I am positive that Zara would absolutely love this and would totally be down to reprise her role to make this show a reality.

JDS: Uh, yeah. If you would allow me to continue with the [indistinct] before we get too sidetracked. Fallout. Season 7. Actual depression. Like, terrible. Studio’s like, “What is going on” and-and they sort of turned to us. At this point, you know, I think She-Ra is either in development or they’re like, full tilt, sort of, going, and the studios, like, sort of figured out where they stand. So, awesome. It’s awesome.

EF: Yeah.

JDS: We wish it’d happened a little earlier. But it’s-it’s really cool, um, and they sort of turned to us and said, you know, “How-how do you want to address this? How do you want to handle this?” And you know, we, at that point, we had already put out our, sort of, public statements because we just felt like, “Oh my gosh,” like--

MS: “What do we do?”

JDS: --it’s coming down on us. Rightfully so. Um, and so we sort of crafted the, uh, the, you know, Shiro and Curtis marriage as a result. It-it was sort of like a-like a sub-complaint that came out of the Adam and Shiro thing, which was like, “Hey, appreciate it,” but what was there was kinda--

Host: Not clear?

JDS: --was kinda not really clear, like it wasn’t explicit, it wasn’t, you know, they weren’t looking for anybody to, like, be, like, kissing or you know, doing anything like that. But they wanted something a little bit more tangible.

Host: Yeah.

JDS: So this was, like, our way of reaching out to fans and it was like a, like a sort of animated, you know, apology or like an animated sort of olive branch.

KC: Sure.

EF: I mean, I also think that it-it-it sort of needs to be said that in terms of the fanbase that there is a difference between wanting representation and wanting your ship to be canon.

KC: And I think a lot of this was disappointment that one ship did not become canon. And just because your ship’s not canon doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

EF: No, no, no!

KC: It doesn’t mean it’s a bad ship.

EF: And on top of that it is-it is completely okay to want both. They’re not independent of one another, but there-there is a level of-of you have to recognize that your ship is about you. It’s about you nine times out of ten, especially when it comes to young women exploring your sexuality in a way that is very safe because it doesn’t involve any women. But it’s about you. It’s not about you wanting representation necessarily.

JDS: I think that there’s-there’s definitely that. I think there’s also, you know, I think you can’t deny when, like, two beautiful people are in a room, you’re like, “You should be doing something!” I think, sort of, the shipping phenomenon in general also speaks to the fact there's a hugely underserved portion of the fandom who’s just not seeing something they want to see.

EF: Oh, yeah! Definitely! And I mean, you know, I’ve enjoyed a lot of the, like, fan content that’s come out of Voltron.

JDS: Sure.

MS: The fan community in terms of the artistic stuff that comes out, it’s incredible what people create and the fact that you guys have been able to inspire that creativity shouldn’t also be something that’s diminished.

EF: Oh, definitely not.

MS: For-for all of the, um, the LGBTQ audience members who maybe felt conflicted with this particular epilogue. I know one person reached out to me, going that they wanted more, and one person reached out that, like, they felt that, like, Shiro walking away from the military wasn’t something that fit his character and that’s actually something we’d like to speak to you about because I-I don’t necessarily agree with that assessment. I totally understand where that perspective comes from. But the way it was worded in terms of he left the battle behind, I, yeah. He-he has been through so much in this series that yeah I understand where people have a lot of issues with it, but I think him leaving the military and going and living a normal life with somebody that he cares about, I think that’s a very fitting end for somebody who had been through so much trauma.

EF: Yeah, yeah. I think I see both perspectives on that as well, but I’m more on your-I’m more of the same opinion as you of that didn’t feel out of character for him for me.

JDS: I mean, I don’t know, I think we saw it as like, the dude had been through a lot. You know, we, the circumstances at which we sort of arrived at that scene didn’t allow us, like a, we had like a day to really put that together.

EF: And you’re talking about the whole, like, conversation of everybody sitting around the table leading into the, like, post stuff on the end?

LM: Everything-everything before fully animated was set in stone. Epilogue and on was-was stuff that we made some adjustments, some stuff was similar, if not the same as before. And we just tried to ultimately do what we felt was right, which was give the people who wanted it that legitimacy of yes Shiro, one of our main characters, is in fact part of the LGBT community. It’s on-screen, there’s-there’s no question anymore. We unfortunately couldn’t make a full-fledged relationship at that point because the show was done.

KC: There’s no time and there’s no budget. Animation takes forever.

JDS: It was that-was that situation where we were sort of like, “Do we do this? Don’t we do this?” and we thought it was just more important to do it, to confirm it, to be able to, like, show people in a very clear manner. And we, I think sort of, wholeheartedly accept that it’s clunky. [laughter] It’s hella clunky. Like, and you know we-we sort of--

LM: It’s far from perfect, but ultimately when the opportunity presented itself, I think we would have felt badly if we had not tried to seize that.

JDS: Right.

Host: I think that’s fair.

JDS: And it was, it was, it was, it was sort of like this weird opening where, like, DreamWorks was in this, like, figuring out where they stood and the opportunity presented itself and we were sort of like, “We kinda have to jump on this or it might go away. It might be something…” And you know, again, like, to the studio’s credit, like, I think they’ve sort of figured it out. They’ve obviously afforded us the ability to create something beyond just, like, a show about, like, a robot made of lions that slices another monster in half every episode.

EF: That’s what I was gonna say. It was definitely not a “monster of the week” kind of show by any stretch of the imagination. So that, in and of itself--

JDS: It’s kind of a weird victory.

EF: Yeah.

KC: At the very end of it, at the very base of things, people, and American society, let’s be real, tend to view LGBTQ content, all of that, LGBTQIA content, as automatically mature for some reason and we touched on, like, violence is okay but god forbid you see two dudes kiss. This is a show that is aimed at 8 to 11 year old boys and at the end of it we had two men explicitly kissing at their wedding. You may not like the execution, you may not like who it was, you may think it came out of nowhere, but guys, we got it. A quote-unquote kids’ show. That’s a hell of a milestone.

JDS: Yeah, I think we all had to acquiesce at some point, and sort of, and DreamWorks too, sort of had to say, like, “Hey, your audience is what your audience says.” It’s no longer like what we were sort of building this franchise around. And you know, I think that’s awesome. The-the organic nature at which the audience sort of grew and evolved and sort of became super proactive in, like, creating content and-and sort of created their own series alongside ours is awesome. It’s great. So, I think they-they just sort of, like, at the very end they were just like, “Guys, just do what you think is right.” And we used our heart. There’s a ton we would have-we would have done differently, but to armchair-quarterback 78 episodes over 4 years, um…

KC: Which is what we’re doing in this episode.

[indistinct]

JDS: To really break it down and try to, like, say, “If we had zigged where we zagged,” like, there’s-there’s no-no real good--

EF: Well, yeah, because you could go on about that forever, but it’s all in the past at this point.

JDS: And the other thing is, like, believe me. I’ve been, like, up at night going, like, “Should we have done anything at all and saved ourselves a headache?” And it’s like, no I think we did the right thing under the circumstances given.

EF: Yeah, I agree, yeah. [indistinct]

KC: [indistinct] I’d actually like to top this off with a comment from RedLantern27 in chat because I think they encapsulated it: “It’s like how Team Voltron tackles their problems: might not be the most elegant, but it gets the job done.” [laughter] I say, unless there’s anything else you’d like to add at the end there, I think we can finish that conversation. We are halfway through our show.

JDS: That’s insane.

MS: Thank goodness they gave us more studio time.

JDS: Fortunately they gave us another hour.

KC: Does anyone want another drink?

MS: Oh! I do!

KC: I am not actually kidding, would you like another drink?

EF: I mean, I’ll have some more. Are these RWBY shot glasses?

KC: Yes. Yes they are.

MS: There’s a RWBY one and an Attack on Titan one with Mikasa.

KC: Because Voltron is made for kids and therefore they don’t have official shot glasses. But hey, if anyone wants to send me some, I’d be down.

EF: I am wearing officially-licensed Voltron merchandise, I will have you know.

JDS: That’s awesome.

EF: This is a child’s shirt because I wanted it in red and it didn’t come in red in adult sizes.

JDS: It fits perfectly.

EF: Thank you.

KC: I am wearing hilariously-unlicensed Voltron merch because there isn’t a licensed one that says, “See ya later, paladudes!” And I thought that was apt.

EF: That’s pretty good.

KC: Emma, please help me.

EF: Oh yeah, this is yours, Megan. It was bound to happen (re: minor spill of Sendak on ice).

KC: It was, it was. Yep, that is future Katie’s problem. And while we’re having our intermission I think we also have an announcement.

MS: Alright guys, before we move onto our next topic we wanted to say thank you for making us the ESPN of TV talk. For us to continue to grow we could use your help. If you’re on YouTube right now hit that thumbs-up button and subscribe. If you’re on iTunes, please-please give us a five-star rating. But no matter where you are, leave us a comment so that you can get involved in the conversation. Being a part of Afterbuzz TV has meant so much to all of us and we truly appreciate you supporting us and doing what we love. Don’t forget to tell your friends and keep enjoying our show, and yeah. Guys, this is-this is our last show, and it really means a lot to us that you guys have stuck with us throughout the entirety of this show’s run. We love, as Katie said earlier, our tavern of lions, everybody who’s in the hashtag, and everybody who’s ever done fanart for our silly nonsense.

EF: Oh yeah, there’s some good fanart from the show.

MS: It’s so good!

EF: It’s really good fanart.

MS: It really means a lot to us and yeah, yeah, Katie take it from here before I cry.

KC: Oh, I thought you were gonna read the iTunes reviews.

MS: Do you want to do the iTunes spiel and I do the, uh--

KC: Yeah, thank you to everyone who was supporting us on iTunes and you can still do that even after the podcast is over. If you leave a comment, if you leave a rating leave us five stars because there are five lions in Voltron and that’s how this works. Um, yeah, it helps people who are searching for the podcast find us. It helps bump us up in the iTunes ranks. And, well, if you leave one after this you won’t get a shoutout because that’s life, but for those who left one a little bit earlier we like to do shoutouts on the show.

MS: And apologies to anybody who left one where I’m not getting the chance to read it out. The iTunes, sort of, filter thing in terms of putting it in chronological order does not work on my mobile device, so I sort of have to scroll and guess about what. So if I miss you, I’m so sorry, please screencap it and put it in the hashtag. But we’ve got one from Kiwi12343: “Yay! Almost done, though I am sad to see the podcast go. Voltron has helped me through a lot of crap. Thank you for the thing I could look forward to on Mondays.” And then we have MLaura3456: “Thank you so much for the show, you are all so amazing. I’ve been watching for just a year and it’s been so much fun. I’m going to miss it once it’s over, but I’m glad I was able to watch it. Geeking with you and the guest is just the best. It’s time to form Voltron.” And then we have one from Oz Gint, not sure if I’m pronouncing that right, but, “I found Afterbuzz with RWBY Vol. 2 and I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the animation aftershows. I have unfortunately been unable to catch a live Voltron show, but I’ve listened to them all. Since it’s the last episode, we can finally talk about the biggest surprise of the whole show. That’s right, after eight seasons, Hunk finally took off his headband.”

Everyone: [laughter]

MS: “(cont. -ff last review) Oh and I guess those other things too. I love the review, so long, and thanks for all the fish”

EF: Okay, for me, Hunk’s epilogue was perfect. The fact that Romelle was, like, part of his-his space cook crew, I was like, all in. All in.

KC: And Vrepit Sal.

MS: And Shay, and Bii-Boh-Bi.

EF: It was so good.

KC: This is the new Avengers crew.

MS: Again, apologies if I couldn’t find it, but again, thank you all so, so much. We love you, you’re all the best.

EF: Yeah.

KC: Yeah, and seriously, thank you guys for participating. This has been so much fun and we-it wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun without all y’all beautiful humans.

MS: Even if we don’t agree, if you don’t agree with us, if we don’t agree with you, if we don’t agree with each other, it’s okay.

JDS: I don’t agree with myself.

[laughter]

KC: Let’s make life real interesting.

MS: The bottom line here is that the show was always meant to be fun and we had fun doing it, and we hope you’ve had fun watching us.

EF: And I think, too, just, you know, being open to the fact that people have different opinions than you and then--and that-that’s okay is a really important message to kind of put out there, as well.

LM: Absolutely. It’s a message that I learned, like, probably a little too late for my little, immature ass, like when I was in eighth grade, the most important thing was the fact that my best friend bought the same Target sandals I had and how angry I was that she had the same Target sandals that me and 20,000 other Target shoppers had. Like, and I look back at that, and I’m just like, “Why did I waste so much energy on the dumbest thing in the universe?”

EF: Yeah, but also-but also you know, acknowledging the fact that-that people’s opi-like your opinions are valid.

MS: Absolutely.

JDS: And look, I think a lot of people have, you know, as I’ve sort of been trying to come to terms with, with negative reaction, positive reaction, all the reaction but mainly the negative reaction, you know a lot of people have sort of said to me like, “Dude, just tell them it’s a stupid cartoon and, like, not to think too much about it.”

KC/MS: No!

EF: That’s not how that works!

JDS: It’s not, a-and for me these shows growing up literally formed the person that I am now.

EF: Absolutely.

JDS: So, it means-it means as much as it means to people because that’s, you know, that’s their world and that’s-that’s what their takeaway, and if they don’t, if they're not getting or seeing themselves represented properly or seeing some sort of representation that they can latch onto or understand. Or maybe they felt like they were on their way to seeing that and were let down by the fact--like I get it. You know, I think we get it.

LM: It's a struggle that we've dealt with a lot just in-in our careers, that animation is-it’s a medium but a lot of times it’s considered a genre. And that’s something that, like, continues to this day that we’re constantly fighting this battle of, like, “No, you can make--” We try to point to anime, which they have every type of thing. They have a show about specifically tennis.

EF: A-a-a-a-and anime is often by western audiences who are not familiar with the medium considered to be a genre. I have so many people being like, “What should I watch to get into anime?” And I’m like, “What kind of stories do you want?”

JDS: Exactly. Do you like story?

KC: I took my tiny, tiny child to see Princess Mononoke because it’s animated and for kids, right? Like no, that will traumatize your five-year-old. It’s a work of art, but it will traumatize your child. Anyway.

LM: And I feel like video games went through a similar thing for a while with, you know, parents bringing Grand Theft Auto back and yelling at Gamestop employees like, “Why did you sell this to my kid?”

EF: It’s rated “Mature”.

LM: Like, it says right there. If you, as a parent, aren’t checking this. But it’s, you know, content is content and we wholeheartedly believe that animation is content people go to and it shouldn’t be, kind of, reduced to-to just, like, “it’s for kids”.

JDS: That said, we should also--I will just sort of self-check--we should have been aware of, like, sort of what we were asking not only DreamWorks to do, but asking the IP to do. We were asking this show to do things and sort of, like, break out in certain ways that were like, [hesitant noise], you know. We needed to learn, we learned a lot. We needed to learn how to manage some of our tone and stuff back up the, sort of, executive chain better. It was just learning experience all the way around the block.

EF: It’s--yeah--it’s interesting to me because, you know, obviously we were touching a little bit on how DreamWorks has, kind of, opened their minds a little bit to some of the stuff that you guys came up against in Voltron, not necessarily with them, it was a bigger issue of lots of people owning the IP, but I-I-I do wonder this ‘cuz I feel like it’s easier or it seems to be more common to me that in shows that are targeted at a female audience, it's more likely that you're going to find a wider breadth of representation.

JDS: I'm not gonna disagree with you there.

LM: I mean I think wholeheartedly that is just genuinely the truth and I think a lot of it stems from that, kind of, toxic masculinity culture that we're still trying to push onto little boys of like "this is weak. You cannot be these things".

EF: To Voltron's credit very much was trying to--I don't want to say “undermine” is not the right word--

JDS: We were just trying to break the trope, our own trope. You know what I mean? Like Voltron was its own trope and the sort of little nook that we inhabited, like, sort of boys toys was its own weird tropey situation. I think before anybody realized it, I mean we were obviously aware, but it was like we were-we were very much a show for everybody, you know. And that just-that just kind of happened. So, yeah.

EF: Which is-which is a good thing.

JDS: Should we talk about Lance, guys?

Hosts: Yes!

KC: We need to move onto, like, intellectual topics and whatnot.

JDS: I feel the clock ticking.

KC: The clock is actually off, but my iPad is back here and it’s just like, “Okay.”

EF: Armor boy Lance.

KC: I need-I need to stop trying to plan these shows, they don’t ever go as planned. What plan!

JDS: Lance.

KC: Yeah, people want to talk about Lance and we want to hear about Lance. He had an incredible character arc.

JDS: He did.

LM: Did you want to intro him or talk to your…? Because I have a lot of feelings about Lance.

JDS: I think Lauren’s got really awesome perspective. I will say that, like a lot of people we saw, like, “Oh, Lance ends up being a farmer and, like, that sucks.” And not to, like, diminish, you know, I’m not making fun of anybody. But I grew up spending all my summers on my family farm in Portugal. It was literally like one, especially as I get older, is one of the most magical experiences that I could ever, sort of, think of now. And it was all about paring things down, getting rid of all the, sort of, BS that went on in life, living off the land, spending time with family--friends and family--and-and-and really getting down to what’s important in life. And so I think for anybody to say that, like, Lance isn’t getting the ending he deserves, or he should have been, like, a hero, he should have been the sharpshooter that went of into the… I don’t-I don’t think that’s what it was about. I think Lance had an arc where he learned about himself that he doesn’t need to be those things and-and that was a lot of baggage that he was carrying on top of himself. And so, I don’t know if that were my ending, it’s-it’s-it’s an ending I hope to have, to be honest with you. I think a lot of people were worried that, like, the visual of him looking at the juniberry flower meant that he was, like, pining away for Allura for the rest of time, and it’s tragic, it’s sad. It was a love story that played out, but he felt loved.

LM: I saw--I mean, I’ve got feelings about Lance just because I, like--as I have a lot of favorite characters in the show--but Lance is probably the one that I actually identify with the most. As-as someone who, like, I’ve struggled my entire life with insecurity, with self-doubt, with self-esteem, and as a girl who grew up watching shows where, like, almost every female was the woman who was pined after and like even in the original Voltron--the show that I love--every single paladin just wanted to get with Allura.

EF: It was the girl. Like that was very common in animation for a long time.

KC: It still is.

EF: I know.

MS: Yep.

EF: Yep.

JDS: Scarlett Jo-Jo, all of it.

LM: Like, that never felt beautiful, like I never felt like I could live up to that. And it kind of just destroyed my self-esteem because I was like, “Well then, if I’m not pretty, what is my value?” I had no value and so--sorry, I’m getting emotional about this. [Hosts all cry out “no!”]

KC: Please have emotions! That’s why we’re here.

MS: I’m fairly certain all of us have been there.

LM: You know, I get-I’ve worked through it. I, you know, I gained a craft, I, like, I have much more self-esteem now, but it--there’s still those little demons, those little, like, voices that come up and tell you you’re not good enough.

JDS/EF: Mm-hmm.

LM: So having struggled with that, Lance was kind of, like, that character who he had those insecurities and he-he handled it in a different way than I did. He put on this really big bravado and that was his defense mechanism. Like my defense mechanism was sarcasm and I still have it to this day, like, I cannot get that DNA out of myself. Like Joaquim has to deal with it. I’m just, like, sarcastic all day long and he’s just like, “Jesus.” JDS: I love it.

LM: Um, but like, you know, everyone copes with it their own ways, and I’ve known the people who--I know those people who they put on the bravado. And so the beauty to me of Lance kind of coming to this place where he’s a baby--he’s able to abandon that. Everything that he wanted, all of these parades, all of these big shenanigans with stuff that he needed other people to see to feel they knew he was important because he didn’t feel it.

EF: Yeah.

LM: And so finally when he feels it inside, like you don’t need other people to tell you anymore. And so, you know, I-I--when I finally started to feel like I had something to bring to the world, like, suddenly I was happy, like, in myself and I didn’t need, like, I would be just as happy to be making this show and have no one know my name as I am to be able to sit here and talk to the fans about it because I’m just doing something that I believe in. And I feel like that’s exactly what Lance was doing at the end. He realized like--there’s also the story element of that I think maybe we probably didn’t make clear--but Lance is, you know, back on Earth with his family and he’s helping Earth to recuperate.

JDS: Right.

LM: He’s on this farm. He’s providing, like, vital resources that people need because Earth didn’t just bounce back and that was important to him. And he’s able to do it, you know, on a farm where there’s these flowers. There’s all these juniberry flowers. That was another thing, it was a casualty of time in the finale, but we wanted to have this really beautiful moment where, as Allura’s made the sacrifice, juniberry flowers are everywhere.

JDS: Everywhere, like on every planet.

LM: And so--

JDS: It’s a weed. They’re a weed.

LM: --he is able to look at this--[laughter]

KC: They’re an invasive species, it’s a problem.

LM: He’s kind of able to remember her everywhere he goes. So it wasn’t really supposed to be like, “Oh, my life has no meaning unless I’m looking at this flower and thinking of Allura.” It’s just, like, “I am content and I’m happy. I have the people that I care about most and I’m doing something that I feel is important and it doesn’t have to be big and flashy.”

Host: Sure.

JDS: And it’s-that’s-it is a slightly more, sort of, mature idea to get across. And there’s a lesson to be learned on our end, too. We really, sort of, stuck to our guns and tried to make a show that was--didn’t have clean endings or super, like, sort of stereotypical happy endings. A lot of it is bittersweet, a lot of it is sort of dealing with the loss of somebody and the hope that that inspires, you know, in their sacrifice. That being said, our big lesson is, like, sometimes people just want to have the happy ending. So that’s stuff that you have to sort of weigh against your art, against your craft. Like, are we serving the people best? Are we serving our own sort of personal story desires best? Wh-what’s that balance?

MS: It’s a case-by-case basis.

JDS: It is.

KC: And there’s something I want to clarify specifically about Lance’s ending, and correct me if I’m wrong, but a lot of the pushback that I’ve seen is, “Well, he’s sad forever. He’s sad forever and ever.” And like, when you lose someone, you do miss them. The grief heals, but it never is completely gone because this person has gone from your life. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he never got over it. It doesn’t mean that he never fell in love with anyone else. It-it doesn’t mean that he just stopped where he was emotionally. We just got to see a couple years into the future and the trajectory that he’s on.

JDS: And-and I think that, again, is sort of our-our learning place. I think if we had--again, not to armchair-quarterback too hard--but I would have loved to have just had a scene, like, back at the Garrison and he’s, like, teaching a class and there’s some jerky kid that’s just like he was. And he’s, like, mature to the point where he’s like, “Okay, soldier,” like, “Alright I get you.” That would’ve been nice, and I think that would have been something that, you know, it wouldn’t have been, like, sort of the relationship maybe that everybody was looking for, but it would have been the closure that people saw, like, “Okay. Lance is, like, he’s doing the thing.” You know. I don’t know, there’s no real good easy answer.

LM: I’ll tell you what ending I was super jealous of, that you guys were there for, but it was the Star Wars Rebels ending.

EF: Oh my god!

LM: You know, Ezra makes his-his sacrifice and then Sabine is like, “Oh, he’s out there and I’m gonna find him.” Like, man, if we could��ve just ripped that in and Lance was like, “Allura’s out there and I’m gonna find her!” like that would’ve been so cool, but then we would’ve legit just ripped off of Star Wars Rebels.

EF: Just take that from Star Wars Rebels! No, it’s true that--and I mean, I think that’s kind of circling back to some of the stuff that you were talking about of, like, the idea of there not being a, like, clean-cut happy ending, all loose ends are tied up kind of thing.

MS: Because life doesn’t work that way.

EF: Because life doesn’t work that way! And so for me, you know, the-the Rebels ending was incredibly satisfying because it’s like, “Well, we could tell more stories with these people, but if we don’t, we’ve got a-we got a good end to this story.” And that-and that, I really do feel--even though for me I was not a big fan of the Lance and Allura romance. I didn’t like it very much, but that’s--again that’s about me. It’s not about you guys.

JDS: And that’s fine. But honestly I think you--

KC: I loved it, and we can disagree and still be friends!

JDS: Here’s the one sort of point of contention that I have because I could totally see everybody’s, sort of, view on it. People were like, "It came out of nowhere." We were like, "We were literally setting up Lance's angle on that, like, a ways out.” He's sitting there confessing to the mice, like, how he felt.

KC: And then the mice go rat him out.

MS: Right from episode 1 he flirted with every single girl, like, episode 1, you know, he-it’s clear that he kinda-kinda likes this girl.

JDS: That’s also, like--

MS: And it develops from there.

JDS: But that’s also, like, as content creators, like, do we sort of read the tea leaves on that and sort of lean into where fans’ expectations are? Or do we sort of go with-with the story that we were crafting and sort of stick to our guns there? You know, sometimes there's some people in real life that end up with people you're like “huh”.

MS: “How? Okay. I have some questions.”

JDS: That's not necessarily what serves story best but that is kinda life.

EF: I had this whole love triangle fantasy that was going on for those last two seasons. In my mind it was playing out. And that was fine! But like I say, like, that’s that was about me, that's not about the story. Like for me, I was like, “Okay yeah, this is the direction I thought they might go with the whole Lance/Allura thing,” and you know, it was-it was not what I wanted to happen, but that doesn’t make it a bad story.

JDS: Well, I could see the argument where it's like, it's basic. It's, like,  what we've kind of come to expect from okay the guy sort of turned around and--but I think Lance's arc aside from, like, being with Allura was bigger than the Allura love story.

EF: And Lance's overall story arc I really enjoyed, especially because you know it’s-it’s one of the things that we’ve been talking about is this whole idea that we were basically we were dealing with an IP that was like "monster of the week.” It was like, “dudes being in love with one hot girl” and just “macho men with fighting robots” and whatever was happening with Pidge.

JDS: Right, yes, yes.

MS: OG Pidge was insane.

EF: Like, totally bonkers.

KC: OG Pidge was terrifying.

JDS: Descended from a clan of ninjas, by the way.

KC: Did the ninjas last long?

JDS: They needed glasses.

EF: But what I will say is that I think a lot of Lance’s storyline--I mean it was across the board with all of the characters, honestly, both the men and the women--but-but very importantly the men, that they had a range of emotions. They had feelings. They had insecurities. They had, you know, emotional walls built up that it was explained why they were and-and all of that is-is great.

KC: They were allowed-they were allowed to be afraid. They were allowed to be unhappy. They were allowed to be broken. They were allowed to not be right about everything and not be leaders and be wrong in the face of other people. And the show went, “Yeah, that’s okay. That’s normal. You can do that and still be a good person.”

JDS: We-we’d go to the writers’ room and sort of get pitched ideas and we would be like, “Oh man, I don’t know how I feel about that,” and it would be that’s exactly why we should do it. Because you need to ask those questions, like, let’s ask those questions, get those things sort of--

LM: Yeah, I mean like, I had my own personal interests like with Pidge and I was like, I had my agenda that I was gonna expose all of these, like, double standards and it was purely agenda-based. And like Tim, you know, our lead writer had to kind of check me and be like, “Lauren, this show isn’t about your agenda. Like, what you’re trying to do, you’re gonna hurt the story if you try to work this in like that way.” And I had to take a step back and, like, look at myself and look at the story and be like, “Okay, what’s important for the story?” Because obviously we always have our preferences, we always have our likes, and-and like Joaquim said, you get a story thing thrown at you and you’ll knee-jerk and be like, “No no no! I don’t want that to happen to that character.” But then you’ll, like, that’s kind of why you have to let those things happen.

JDS: And they’re-they’re like weird experiments and some of them work, don’t work, and some of them are, you know, sort of fall in this weird gray area where people are just like “[noncommittal noise] I don’t know, I don’t know what to do with this.”

KC: “Well that was a thing that happened. This might as well occur.”

JDS: Yep. I mean it’s silly, it’s-it’s so dumb and I’m--we might have said this, you know, before--but like a lot of people sort of attributed a lot of their sort of personal perspectives to, like, Shiro having PTSD and ensuring this pillar of strength and having gone through these trials and tribulations and-and being an amputee. I hate to admit this because it’s so basic and simple, but like, the only reason he had a robot arm is because I’m like, “Dude, can we have a guy with a robot arm? Like, the Winter Soldier is rad, you know, Cable is rad, Solid Snake is rad, and I just want a robot arm dude.” That was it, and so--

LM: He’s a similar thing with Pidge and, you know, my super selfish her good little girl fantasies, just like here’s a girl and she’s masquerading as a boy, and then you know, she ended up being kind of this pillar of hope for the trans community. And so like, I can’t take credit for that because I didn’t go fully into that, but it’s beautiful that it happened and I can look at that now and I can see where it came from.

EF: I think that-that it just sometimes happens pretty unexpectedly in a lot of, you know, sort of IP. I mean I remember when, you know, Yuri!!! On Ice was this big sensation, and even though for the most part, obviously, it is lauded for its LGBTQ representation, but on top of that there was a certain, like, subset of the, like asexual community that were like, “I sort of see Yuuri as asexual and I feel represented,” and-and that’s a good thing.

JDS: Yeah, a hundred percent.

LM: Absolutely. JDS: I will say, just sort of looking at it holistically, though. Like, Lauren’s sort of desire to, like, build that into the character and my desire to build that into the character are two completely disparate things because I just wanted robot arm dude and she was, like, telling this meaningful, like, inside thing. And I’m just like, “How about that robot arm?”

KC: The Venn diagram overlap is “finding meaning in something random that you didn’t initially pitch that way.”

LM: And sometimes the fans will find this extra meaning that we had no clue was gonna come out of it.

MS: Yeah, and I had a directing professor way back in the day who-who mentioned that sometimes brilliant moments like that could happen completely by accident, or it’s an unintended sort of thing. And the fact that it’s there should be celebrated because it’s-it kind of ties into death of the author a little bit. Like, did the author intend that? Well, does it matter? If that’s your interpretation of it, it’s okay.

JDS: Yeah, I-I once heard the story, I was a huge, you know, sort of child of the 90’s, listen to grunge music growing up, Pearl Jam was like my favorite band, and I heard this story once that, like, this group of campers were singing this song “Black” by Pearl Jam in the forest and Eddie Vedder, like, comes out of the woods, like “Stop singing this song!” and everybody’s like [surprised expression], and he was like-he was coming to that, I don’t know if that’s true. Could be total grunge urban legend, I don’t know. I like the story, though.

MS: And he’s still in those woods to this day.

JDS: But he was, you know, his-- his version of the song was not their version of the song and they found a different meaning. For him it was torture, for them it was like this like sort of nostalgic coming together. And so he had to admit that as well. And I’ve heard other songwriters say the same thing where it’s like, “it’s no longer ours, it’s theirs.”  And that’s beautiful.

EF: Oh absolutely yeah. And as I say I feel like you know uh just kind of circling back to uh what we were talking about with where Lance’s story ended, I’ve seen some really lovely fanart depicting more of Lances future. [Everyone laughing]

KC: This is why we believe in fanart. This is why we believe in fanfiction. Just because the official story is over doesn’t mean that you can’t pick it up and sprint with it.

EF: Oh definitely not.

KC: Have fun.

JDS: Yes.

KC: Absolutely have fun. I-- We’ve had a lot of requests for this in chat, and I think uh, I think we should move on to this, um, let’s talk about Keith.

JDS: Yeah

KC: Let’s talk about Keith story arc. Let’s talk about the boy that went from being a lone wolf to being a leader whether he liked it or not, to embracing being a leader. That was absolutely incredible. We stopped, as we were watching Season 8, re-watching it, and at one point Keith and Lance just had that talk about well I used to think I could do everything on my own, and here we are. And I went, “Oh my God you guys are  all grown up!”

JDS: Yeah, I mean that’s the great thing about this sort of serialized format is that you do get to see that growth. I will say that like Keith is probably the character that we get-- there’s a huge fanbase, but he’s the one that like receives the least amount of flack, it’s like people are--

EF: Yeah I-- I do sort of wonder why that is but I-- But also--

JDS: Because, I think we didn’t, we didn’t pair him with anybody, you know what i mean. I think we didn’t designate sort of where he stood. We don’t know. It’s-- It’s--

KC: We don’t know

JDS: Yeah, it-- It doesn’t really matter to be honest with you. I mean it would be great to confirm just to make people happy, but, like at the end of the day he is who he is, and leaving it open to interpretation. Which is why I will say that, just going back to Allura and Lance really quick, it took that possibility off the table, that pairing, and I think that’s what-- what triggered a lot of people. Because it was like you could have just left well enough alone and we would’ve been fine. That’s, that’s a tea leaf reading scenario there as well you know.

EF: It is. But again guys there’s lots of great fanart.

JDS: There is. Yeah you can totally do that too.

KC: We did say that he could fall in love again. You never know.

JDS: You never ever know.

KC: Go have fun.

EF: Yeah I uh-- Uh-- I just loved Keith throughout this whole series. I think for me he was just the the perfect embodiment of that like emotionally damaged like grumpy boy character.

JDS: He had it all.

EF: Yeah.

LM: He was. He was kind of that animation trope.

EF: It was totally an anime hero.

LM: You know I watched Gundam Wing as well.

EF: Yes.

LM: And you know, hero Yui was, he was tricky for me because at the end I was just like [long pause] “I still don’t like you. There’s nothing in you for me. You just, you’re still kind of an asshole.”

JDS: “I still don’t like you.”

EF: “I still don’t like you.”

LM: And then but Keith actually like, [laughs]  Keith started there and then like, he evolved to someone that I like.

EF: I think that’s what it was because Hiro was my favorite in Gundam Wing, and Keith is my favorite in Voltron and I really do think that it is because like Keith is what in my, like, fan brain like Hiro was going to become. And so I feel like I got experience--

JDS: The evolution, the full evolution.

EF: Yeah, I mean yeah exactly. And Keith. It was very satisfying for me.

KC: Duo was my favorite and then I just [gestures vaguely].

LM: I love Duo, he was my favorite too. And that braid I was like, “Man how do you get a braid like that?”

KC: Um it takes a while.

JDS: Yeah, you gotta grow it out.

KC: Great Podcast day for all the listeners there.

EF: This is where we do an ad for Sugar Bear Hair.

KC: Does it look like I’m on my favorite [river?]

MS: But um yeah with Keith it’s so interesting because last season you guys mentioned how one of the initial concept ideas for him was that he was a child soldier and so it’s so interesting.

LM: That was Lance.

JDS: That was Lance.

MS: Oh that was Lance?

JDS: That was Lance.

LM: Believe it or not that was Lance.

MS: Oh I thought that was Keith.

EF: Whoa.

LM: That was back in our super dark phases where we were just coming off of Korra and we were like--

JDS: Were were gonna open up on season 7, earth already taken over, the kids had to--

LM: We had to--

EF: It was gonna be a battle.

JDS: No seriously that was it. Earth was post-apocalyptic.

LM: We had to recalibrate, like reset ourselves for Korra times to like colorful lion times.

MS: But that being said he starts still out, he starts up actually in a very similar place as Pidge, in-in terms of “I need to protect my family”

KC: And my family’s in space.

MS: And I don’t care about anything else, and over the course of the series they-- they learn at varying speeds how important this extended family is to them.

JDS: Yes.

EF: Yes. And I think too with Keith it was that fact that, you know, that he felt like a very fully-formed character in that you know when as you say when you first meet him like he is very emotionally guarded. He’s very, “I can do all of this on my own.” And I like that we really got into why he was that way. And the fact that he, that like, like, Keith at the beginning of the series I feel like if if he had met his mom at the beginning, he would not have connected with her in the way that he did. JDS: Not at all.

EF: And so it was very satisfying to see this person who had grown up so much like find this meaningful connection with somebody who had not been a part of his life.

JDS: Which is sort of a running thing on our show. And it was I think you know, maybe you mentioned it on the last one, that was sort of at one point going to be the sort of Lotor Keith of it all. Um, they were definitely going to share that element where they sort of had both feet in two different cultures and weren’t really sure where they stood on everything. And sort of Keith becoming the proper representation of that--not the proper but--

EF: No, Yeah yeah yeah

JDS: But sort of like good guy representation and Lotor being the bad guy.

MS: Two sides of the same coin.

EF: Man, now I would have loved to see more Keith and Lotor interactions.

JDS: It was a whole thing.

EF: I would have really enjoyed that because I agree with you that i think that I’m trying to think of like another piece of fiction where they kind of explore that whole idea of okay you have these two people that are effectively the same thing where they’re sort of half in one culture, species, etc. half in another.

MS: And one goes down one path and one goes down another

EF: Exactly. So that there is a nice sort of parallel to both of those characters.

JDS: Yup.

EF: And I also really loved Lotor. And I loved, loved, loved Honerva’s storyline in the final season so much. Her whole, her whole backstory, in the way it ended UGGHH it was so tragic cause she was just trying to connect with her family. Which is again, ultimately like a lot of what this show is about is this whole idea of,  “okay well there’s your family, but you also have to look at, like, your extended sort of chosen family and the connections that you’ve made,” and Honerva never did that. She was so obsessed with like reclaiming this family that she lost instead of going “Oh wait,” you know, “that’s in the past. There’s nothing I can do about it, so maybe I need to expand my horizons.”

KC: Yeah. She was obsessed with the past and unable to move on. And a lot of this show is about, alright, well the past will affect you, the past will influence you, but you need to keep moving forward, you can’t live in the past.

JDS: Yeah. I mean you know we’ve also taken a bunch of heat for sort of like the the abuser and abused of it all between Honerva’s redemption and Lotor’s redemption. Uh, and you know, again that’s we sort of like go back to this, I don’t know, it’s it’s not even like a like a like a hard and fast rule but it’s like there really are no clean answers in life so.

EF: I-I-I don’t know for me I felt like with Lotor uh which what I really enjoyed was this idea of I think that he was fully aware of the fact that he’d gone too far, and they--and at that point instead of going, “I need to back off,” he made the choice to go, “I’m embracing this like 10-fold”

JDS: I think that was the thing that there was a clear delineation of like he-he-he reached this threshold where it’s like, yeah I’m sorry it’s too far.

EF: I’m past the point of no return. And I mean that was you know--

JDS: Safe to say that Honerva probably did the same.

Hosts Together: Oh yeah.

KC: She totally did.

MS: Destroyed so many realities.

LM: I mean there’s also a little bit about each Lotor and Honerva’s arcs that ultimately served Allura’s larger arc. Which was Lotor came along when Allura wasn’t quite as ready to be that super open, understanding diplomat. We saw how she reacted to Lotor. She was furious and so in that interaction ended in a worse way. Whereas by the time she took on Honerva she’d kind of made that journey within herself to get to the point where she could see more of the story, she-- if she had been able to look at Lotor in a different way nothing would excuse what he did but she may have been able to get I don’t know get to a better end with him.

JDS: Yes.

LM: She wasn’t there yet.

EF: There was more story to tell.

JDS: And honest, we’d be lying if we didn’t say we weren’t meaning to tell a tragic story like it was tragic, you know. And it was intended to be tragic. And it was intended to sort of--

EF: And on multiple levels like you said. It wasn’t just tragic that like, “Oh Allura’s gone” and, you know, she and Lance had just gotten together, and she had this great connection with all the other paladins, but I think there is also, as you said that that level of also if she’d been here back at the end of Lotor’s story that there would have been not necessarily forgiveness, but more of an understanding of sorts.

MS: The events could have played out differently.

EF: Yeah yeah could’ve played out differently.

MS: and I and I feel like a lot of people sort of forget too that early seasons, she didn’t know how she felt about Keith.

JDS: Right.

EF: Yeah! Yeah! Which is something that I really liked because of course you’re going to be prejudice against somebody who you know is related to, you know, the race of people who as far as you are concerned destroyed your entire life.

JDS: Right.

EF: They murdered all of your people. Your dad is dead because of them. Like of course you’re going to have that prejudice. And and so the fact that once Lotor came along Allura was so willing to, to cooperate with him, and try and see his perspective. That in of itself was huge, and then it’s even almost more impressive that she comes to this understanding with Honerva because she felt so betrayed by Lotor because she had allowed herself to be like “maybe the Galra are cool.”

KC: She’s learned so much.

JDS: I will say like circumstances-- [he cut off KC] Sorry is it end? Is it over?

KC: It’s not over yet. After you finish that thought we’re hitting our last 20 minutes and I want to hit a couple of points. Please finish your thought.

JDS: I would just say that you know the end that came with you know the sort of conversation where Allura was saying her goodbyes to everybody. And she was sort of asking Honerva for her help, like they were all essentially dead at that point. Like existence was over. Like this was the saving throw that Allura was sort of putting out there. So we have sort of said amongst ourselves, we would have loved to take an entire episode to sort of explore that conversation, and explore that redemption. It sort of was a victim of us just kind of running out of time. But I do think that like that situation was extreme, you know? I think Allura didn’t come to it easily, but she knew it was a decision that had to be made and and she knows a connection that she had to try and establish with Honerva, um, as much as she believed in forgiveness and and all those things it was like you either gotta put up or shut up right now. This is endgame.

KC: You either do this or everyone is gone forever.

JDS: Right.

MS: I have one more quick thought about Lotor.

KC: Better be quick.

MS: The, like, I-- I understand where a lot of people come from, from that perspective, but I do want to throw out there also, and again this is just my opinion, but just because you are suffering, does not give you the right to inflict suffering on other people, and again he had noble intentions but at the end of the day he killed a lot of people.

JDS: Yup.

MS: And yeah again just because you’re suffering doesn’t mean you get to inflict suffering on other people.

KC: I come back to this so often but, cool motive, still murder. Thank you Brooklyn 99 for that one. Alright we have hit the last 20 minutes of our show. So what I want to hit on really quick for everyone: favorite aspect of the show. Character, character arc, episode. Like favorite aspect and favorite episode if you can pick one. I will start to give you all some time to think, but it’s not gonna be long. Found family. I am a sucker for found family in pretty much all forms, and this show was it for me. Starting very much with Keith and Shiro and this friendship that meant so, so much to them, and then enveloping the rest of the Voltron paladins, at different speeds, in different ways, and Allura, and Coran, and expanding out for the MFE’s and the Garrison, and just you cared about everyone. You could see that they very much cared about each other, and it didn’t have to be romantic and it didn’t have to be blood relationships, just this incredibly strong found family. And then in later seasons you could see, “Alright we’ve developed this bond, we don’t need to focus on it as much.” Shiro and Keith are still incredibly close, but it wasn’t Keith’s crutch anymore, so he could move on, he could work with the Blade of Marmora, he could be a better pilot, a better leader. And Shiro, knowing that Keith didn’t have to lean on him as much could go on to lead the Atlas. Like, they’re still extremely close, but we didn’t have to focus on it. Like, I love found family, I love that we were able to develop that. And my favorite episode is still “Space Mall.” Full Stop!

JDS: Bam. [EF starts making a humming noise in the background]

KC: Ride a Kalteneker, have a hallucination, I love “Space Mall.” Alright, who’s next? I’m taking volunteers.

LM: Um, I can go. Uh, so as a kid who grew up with mostly Western animated TV shows, where everything kind of reset episode to episode, and then literally I think I was in high school the first time I saw Robotech on Toonami. And I realized, this story kept going. And it was serialized. And it had real stakes. And there was literally they-they fought the battle against the Zentradi, and then they had an entire season where they just dealt with the Zentradi like living on Earth with them and trying to commingle. Whereas any American show would just be like we won the battle and it’s over. And it all kind of informed my love of then no reset button. Like, there is no ultimate reset. Everything kind of comes at a bit of a cost, there’s no purely happy ending. We’ve had a lot of like areas where our paladins have had really close scrapes, they, they literally saved the world from collapsing with Lotor But they had to give up their castleship. They brought Shiro back to life, but he no longer had his connection to the Black Lion. There’s always like some sort of give and and ultimately with the big culmination in the end with Allura making the sacrifice, it was just, it’s a story, like it’s I guess I’m just a sucker for those stories, like like I love it when things they kind of happen like real life where, if you’re, if stuff gets that out of hand, you can fix it, but it’s probably not ever going to be the exact same.

JDS: It comes at a cost.

EF: Yeah it’s like you rolled an eight or a nine playing dungeon world system where you succeed with consequences.

JDS: That’s right

LM: And my favorite episode is is probably still like “Reunion.” Just like, the emotional stakes. Steve Ahn and I, I think we’re on the same wavelength as far as like the stuff that we love. And, uh, and he knocked that one out of the park for me, so I love it.

JDS: Absolutely. I mean, uh, I’m along the same lines. But I will just say that within the framework of that, Robotech was just, hands down, like the most influential thing sort of animated I think on both of us. It opened our eyes to a lot of stuff. It opened our eyes to sort of there being no boundaries in terms of what animation was, who it was meant for. I recently had a meeting with like an executive who was dealing with it back in the day when it was originally airing, and he had the same thing that sort of the the same phenomenon that we were dealing with what was where he was like “hey kids were watching this but then we realized like their sisters and their moms were watching the show with them. Because it had this--

EF: Well there’s so many cool women in Robotech why wouldn’t they?

JDS: There were cool-- But there was also a through-line, a very strong character arc for each one of the characters. Um and and there was all this stuff going on that just didn’t have to, you know, it didn’t involve like the big robots. They were awesome. But there was a ton of other stuff. I would say within the framework of the serialized crazy show I love the fact that tonally we could go all over place. We could be as slapsticky as we wanted to and as serious and as dire and as heavy as uh we sometimes got. Uh favorite episode--

KC: Space Mall

JDS: I would say “Monsters and Mana” is probably my jam.

MS: I-- uh, it keeps changing for me because I keep thinking like “Space Mall” was my knee-jerk reaction, but Honerva’s backstory, the episode--

KC: SO GOOD.

EF: Give me a top three.

MS: Yeah, “Monsters and Mana.” I’m gonna go with “Monsters and Mana” because I think that was um, but it’s like neck in neck, “Day 47” is also good--

JDS: “Day 47” too.

EF: “Day 47” is awesome.

KC: “The Voltron Show.”

MS: And the ar--that’s the closest we’ve got to the musical episode. The uh Earth two-parter which was something I was super excited about because of the idea of coming back to Earth after the Galra had gotten there first and beat them to the punch. I am super fascinated by what goes on on Earth without Voltron there to save everyone. So there was a lot.

JDS: That was our--that was our Robotech/Macross homage for sure.

MS: There--I liked, I liked a lot of stuff. But as far as my, my just favorite thing about the show? Favorite, ugh it’s just, so I know this is gonna sound hollow to a lot of people who were upset by the way things shook out, but I love how inclusive this show was from the very, very beginning. Most of the team are people of color, which is so so radically different from the way the show was presented originally in the 80’s. It’s been so inclusive and there are just so many women in the world that aren’t damsels in distress, or just moms waiting for kids to get home. Even moms who are waiting for kids to come home are amazing.

EF: Colleen Holt was like, just everything. She’s amazing.

LM: Colleen was great.

KC: Colleen Holt is a holy terror and my life knows--

JDS: I think though, some approximation of your mom, Lauren. Am I--

LM: She pretty much is. My mom didn’t, so I’ve told Joaquim this many times, but like I was not allowed to stay home from school unless I was literally throwing up. Like if I had a cold? At school. If you were like “I don’t feel good”, you’re at school it doesn’t matter.

JDS: Opposite.

LM: I had to be like projectile vomiting into a can if I was going to stay home, and even them my mom would be like “you’re fine.” If I was like, “it’s not fair.” “Life isn’t fair.” That was it. She would get out the violin and like, “Cry me a river” like this is--

KC: Did she have a violin?

LM: She did not. Like it was fake. But it’s like, I learned really quick that whining doesn't get you anywhere. That like, you know, I mean that means that she was a great mother and great nurturer, like super crafty and I got all my creative juices from her and like she’s an amazing woman. And and she you know, Colleen is, is in some ways very much a representation of that.

JDS: Lauren didn’t have to say that, and it’s like we could feel, she was like--

EF: Yeah we were all like “this is Lauren’s mom.”

MS: But everyone from Pidge and Allura to the Galra generals to the MFE pilots to Santa, every woman in this show made me really happy. Just because it shows that women are people capable of doing any job men are doing and it just, it meant a lot. Sorry I didn’t mean to keep stepping on you.

EF: No I was just gonna say uh yeah I think for me a lot of the stuff we touched on about the whole idea of succeeding but there being consequences because that is a more realistic approximation of how things go in real life. Not everything gets wrapped up perfectly with a bow. And to me that I would rather a satisfying ending than one that is just so conclusive that there’s nothing else you can do because that, that’s just not realistic. Never ever going to happen for you. Sorry. Um, uh, and then let’s see. I think favorite episode. I did love the one with Honerva’s backstory, that was really good. I loved the game show episode.

JDS: God bless you, because the internet--

EF: Had so many layers to it.

JDS: Was quite divided on that.

EF: To me that episode was really dark in a good way. Yeah I really really loved that episode. Um yeah and Oh! I remember what I was gonna say. One of the other things that I really really liked about it--and it goes along with the whole sort of succeeding with consequences--is the fact that there was that time skip where Voltron was just gone for two years. And and and getting to see the fallout from that was very um, it was very satisfying.

LM: Yeah.

JDS: That’s awesome.

KC: There’s, we’ve had a lot of consistent--um consensus in chat. A lot of people are talking about “Black Paladins” being their favorite episodes and being a work of art. People liked the game show episode. People liked, people liked all sorts of stuff.  Uh, Honerva’s backstory. One person said, “I liked any episode with a person in it” and I had to agree. One person said, “the pilot, lol jk” but I know you were joking but the pilot is also one of my favorite episodes.

EF: The pilot is, I’m sorry, [interrupting KC], the pilot is outstanding.

JDS: [Whilst scratching his beard] Oh wow. I don’t even remember that episode. I don’t remember that far back in life.

EF: I think they put two episodes--

JDS: They did.

LM: The three first episodes.

EF: Oh the three first episodes were one.

JDS: It just seems like literally a lifetime ago.

EF: And the three of them playing all together in one chunk, it was like, oh my god it was such a good pilot.

KC: It was just “here’s what you’re gonna get, let’s go.”

EF: Yeah

KC: And at the end of that pilot, I was like, “Where is all of it? Please give it all to me.”

JDS: Funny, you know about that episode, about that chunk, you know, we got a note pretty early on as were, like, just out of development but still trying to figure out the tone of the show, was that the show needed more, like, comedy and stuff. So, like, the whole, like, sneaking around the Garrison and hiding in trash cans, all that goofy stuff was originally not in. It was, just, like, “Let’s put some, like, silly gags where they’re, like [silly noises].”

LM: Yeah, we literally sat in a room with the writers and just watched the animatic, and we’re, like, making up jokes we could just stick in. There was, like, I don’t even know if it’s still in there. Was there, like, the giant cat lady with Lance like, “Watch out for a giant cat lady!”?

JDS: No that’s gone. Giant cat lady’s gone.

LM: There’s something about that. Like, honestly, like 90% of them we ended up cutting later because they were like, “this sounds like it came out of nowhere” because it did. Yeah, we sat in a room and we made jokes.

JDS: But you know, to some extent it did sort of sell the fact that we could go as broad as we did. It just kind of hit you with it right off the bat.

EF: Yeah.

KC: Well, we’re close to the end. I know. I want to say a couple things from our other hosts because Mark and Alexis could not be here tonight, but they both sent in messages. And so from Mark: “Thank you to my fellow lions and the fans for welcoming me as the yellow lion. I’ve been friends with everyone for a while, but working on the show deepened our relationship and brought us closer, similarly to the paladins of Voltron. I may not have spent a lot of time as a part of the show, but I’ll remember it fondly. Thanks again to all of the cast and crew for their hand in this magical show. Thanks to the fans for their acceptance and willingness to jump on the crazy theory train with me. Thank you to Katie, Megan, Emma, and Alexis #legday. Let’s have dinner in front of a giant statue in a couple years, yeah?” [laughter] Can’t say anything about the statue, but I don’t want to wait a couple years. You’re local, dude. And from Alexis: “Just wanted to say how--I just wanted to say how sad that it’s ending, but how thankful I am for this amazing show. I’ve met so many great people and so many feels from the amazing writing and acting this show has brought. Sending all my love to the amazing crew and actors we’ve met throughout the seasons of the show. Found new friends and colleagues along the way, making new memories and unforgettable times with our viewers. To my amazing, beautiful ladies, I miss you and love you with all my heart. Thank you for having me be a part of this wonderful family. Mark, you will always be my right foot #legday you handsome devil, you.” They wrote these independently of each other, just so you know. [faint whip-crack sound effect] I don’t know if we needed the whip crack, but I love it. So I-I want to give you guys a chance to do the same thing if you’d like. If there’s anything else you’d like to say to the fans and you as well. So what would you like to start us off, or would you like a minute?

LM: Uh, I’m, you know, I just want to say obviously I feel like I’ve a million times, but just thank you to the fans for watching, for enjoying the show. We made it from the bottom of our hearts trying to make a story that we found compelling, that, you know, we ourselves responded to the emotional beats and we just wanted to put that out there, hope that other people felt for these characters the way we did. I wanted to share with you, Emma, real quick--

EF: Yes.

LM: --as my Sailor Moon compatriot. I did try to pitch, like, an Allura baby at the end. So, you know at the end of the Sailor Saturn arc, how she sacrifices herself and Sailor Moon goes in and brings out little Hotaru?

EF: Yes! Yes, oh my goodness, I’m--I--I feel you on this!

LM: I was like, “Alright. Blue Lion. There’s just a little infant Allura.” And then you know--

EF: [indistinct] And then she gets another, like, chance at living her life, and she doesn’t have to be sad that her dad got murdered--

LM: As a non-Sailor Moon person, Joaquim was like, “That’s a little weird”-- [laughter]

JDS: Well, what was weird for me was, like, Lance raising, like, this woman that he loved.

LM: That’s the beauty of it!

KC: That’s when it becomes orphan and that’s weird.

LM: It goes from romantic to conditional and platonic.

EF: Or she could-or she could be raised by--

KC: Coran.

EF: Zethrid and Ezor!

MS: And Ezor!

JDS: Oh, see that’s a great idea.

KC: I was saying Coran!

EF: Oh, I was thinking she could be raised by, because, you know, the lesbians and the baby.

MS: Keeping the Sailor Moon parallels, it has to be Zethrid and Ezor.

KC: We-we had to derail--

EF: Veronica and Acxa.

[Hosts cheer]

KC: We had to derail the show one last time for posterity.

[Hosts and LM apologizing]

KC: No, thank you. Thank you.

LM: No, no, no. But thank you, ladies--

JDS: Thank you, guys.

LM: --for always being, like, super supportive and honest with your opinions about the show and, just, you know, speaking to it from a, like, objective, like--

JDS: I will say that, like, we know sitting here and sort of, like, having a longer episode and talking about these subjects that usually, you know, you tend to not shy away from but kind of censor yourself a little bit to talking about only because you know you don’t want to, like, piss off anybody that we’re working for. We never approach- we never approach this uh from a place of of fear or--we’re just trying to be genuine with where we’re coming from and where we think the industry as a whole can go. The answers that we provide here probably aren’t going to, like, satisfy the-the majority of the people out there. We do appreciate everybody’s opinion. We do appreciate the fans that have stuck with us over the years on this. We know this show kind of came out of nowhere and people didn’t know what to make of it at first and we appreciate that they-that they sort of rallied around it and-and it provided us so much joy and continues to. That being said, we’re happy that it’s, you know, in the past. This is probably, like, the last Voltron thing that we’re going to be doing ever, so it’s bittersweet for us and we really thank you-you guys and the fans for-for sticking with us and making it a fun experience outside of us being bleary-eyed. Having no sun for long strips of time making the show.

KC: Well, you guys have come in to talk with us so often and we really appreciate that because we know it-it takes time out of your night, it’s kind of a weird time slot, but we really appreciate you coming in and sharing your thoughts and listening to us go off on crazy, crazy theories while you sit there and whistle.

MS: And you’re just like, “Uh-huh, uh-huh”.

JDS: Well, we appreciate you.

KC: “Sure! Sure!” Alright, Megan.

MS: Yeah, just, thank you is all I can say. Thank you guys, for not only supporting us but for giving us a show that we could talk about. Thank you to our-our other hosts that aren’t here tonight, um, but, like, everybody who’s ever sat at this, like, table. Thank you to literally every guest we’ve ever had to share your insight and your time and everything like that. And everybody’s who’s watched even if, again, you don’t necessarily care for us or agree with us, thank you for watching because it means you care about Voltron and so do we. So we at least have that in common. And just thank you to everybody who’s done fanart and, like, animatics and taken, like, stupid goofs that we’ve said and, like, taking them and made art out of them. That to me is absolutely incredible. Um, so thank you guys for making your show that we could talk about and thank you Katie for being like, “Hey, guys, there’s another giant robot show that we need to talk about.” So thank you, Katie, for insisting that we talk about this in addition to all the other stuff that we were talking about and thank you to Afterbuzz for-for giving us studio time to just allow us to gush about giant robots

EF: I think it was too a little bit of a, you know, this show came out of there being a-of the audience asking for it, honestly, because we-we started doing this show not immediately after the first season dropped on Netflix, so it took a little while and-and basically it was like… You know, I remember I had watched the pilot episode and I was like, “Oh man, this is so great” because I--you know--I knew that you guys had worked on Legend of Korra and then, like, when you guys came in I was like, “Lauren and Joaquim know who I am, this is cool.” Because I--you know--I-I-I love Avatar: The Last Airbender, but like, to me, like, Korra is my frickin’ show, like, just ‘cuz it’s about--it’s about a really realistic teenage girl. I know people get frustrated with her, but I’m like, I was that girl.

JDS: But I think that’s--that--that’s sort of, like, the divide and I don’t want to cut you off, but like Korra was literally created without any plan. There was no, like-like big marketing thing around it and so we were sort of, like, jamming this, like, square peg in a round hole when we were coming to Voltron and it worked out as well as it did despite itself in a weird way.

EF: Totally. And, um, and so you know, watching the pilot episode I was like, “Yes, I can feel the same team has worked on this and I know that we’re gonna get an interesting story with very layered characters,” and ultimately that’s what I enjoy in my fiction. End of story. And-and to see the Afterbuzz audience saying like, “Hey, we know that you guys tend to like shows like this. We want to see an aftershow of this.” And Mark Donica who, you know, engineered the show and has been on the show came to us and was like, “Hey, there’s definitely an interest in this,” and so Katie just kind of jumped on that and-and this all kind of came together and, you know, the fact that we’ve been able to talk with so many people who were involved in the show, it’s just--it’s-it’s been a--it’s been really great. So.

MS: It’s been a privilege.

EF: Yeah.

KC: I think we started watching the show when we were in the middle of moving. And I remember--

MS: Katie and I are roommates! We’ve been roommates since college.

KC: Yeah, we’ve been roommates for quite a while.

EF: I had just moved, I think, because they came out in, like, June of 2016?

KC: So we started watching the show, we were in the middle of moving, and I remember coming back home from an Ikea trip and going, “Are you watching Voltron without me? Why are you doing that?” And watching it and saving the last few episodes because I was so sure that Shiro was gonna die in the season finale, and looking back now and going, “Aw, Katie.” And just the show itself has been an incredibly wild ride, so emotional, so much fun. Having to pause the episode and back it up because I was laughing so hard I missed dialogue. Having to get up and walk around after a season finale so I could process what I was seeing. It’s-it’s been an incredible show and it has, it’s so hard to find animation that addresses war and addresses that war has consequences and does it in a way that kids and adults can gel with it. That’s rare for me.

MS: Very rare.

KC: Voltron hit that and it’s been incredible. And then doing this show with you guys, coming off of Robots in Disguise and going, “We’re not done talking about giant robots. Let’s do this, let’s go.” And everyone who has joined us in the chat and everyone who has joined us on the couch and at the table. Everyone who’s ever been a guest on here who was nice enough to donate their time for our crazy little show and had a wonderful, wonderful time talking with all of them. Everyone in the chat who, again did fanart, I’m still blown away that me saying, “I love everyone in this bar” became the Tavern of Lions and someone photoshopped us a menu. Like, you guys continually astound me. It has been an incredible ride, it has been so much fun, it’s been so great and I’m going to miss you all so, so much. Thank you for everything.

LM: Yeah.

KC: On that note, where can the people go on the social medias if they would like to keep up with you?

JDS: Oh, are we doing this? KC: We’re doing this! This is how we close shows.

LM: Alright. @artofLaurenM on Twitter, @thebestlaurenmontgomery on Instagram. Uh, I apologize. I-I don’t post much, now that--

EF: But your-but your collaboration you post about with Miyashiro? Is that--?

LM: Yeah, Tiffanie Miyashiro. Amazing woman, amazing designer, fashion, and-and so yeah.

EF: I want the outfits of all those J-pop girls. [laughter] They are great.

LM: Awesome.

JDS: Uh, @jds_77 I think on something and @jds_247 on the other thing. Uh, hopefully, I’ll get to, like, sketching some, like, fanarty stuff soon and honestly just wanted to leave a little bit of a void in the wake of season 8 and-and just see my family and do things outside of, like, being involved sort of on a day-to-day with the show. So we’ll get back to it, we’ll have some fun, and maybe post some pics of our new digs and stuff.

KC: Mm-hmm. Thanks again, you guys.

JDS: Thank you so much.

KC: For the show, for coming on this show, for everything. Thank you.

LM: Thank you for putting it together. Thank you for leading it, Katie. Always a fearless leader.

JDS: Also thank you for, like, giving a format to the crew who oftentimes don’t really, like, they don’t have a place to, like, talk about what they do and-and how important to the process they are. Like each and every person on our crew, they’re amazing people, one, amazing artists, and really lent to the DNA of the show. You can tell from episode to episode who directed what, who wrote what, because it had their-their-their essence.

LM: Their flair.

JDS: Yeah, their flare.

LM: Mm-hmm.

KC: Thanks again, you guys.

JDS: Thank you.

KC: Megan? Where can the people find you?

MS: Again, thank you everybody. And thank you to everybody who reached out to me this week on Twitter. You guys are all incredibly sweet and incredibly kind. Thank you all so, so much. You guys can follow me on Twitter and Instagram at @themenguin. That’s T-H-E-M-E-N-G-U-I-N. I also do a Lost retrospective podcast called “No Love Lost” where my co-host loves Lost and I don’t. So be sure to check that out.

EF: That’s amazing. I’m Emma Fyffe, I can be found all over the internet wherever Emma pipes are sold at my name @emmafyffe. Yeah, I got a lot of stuff going on, I tweet about it, though, so just, you know, follow me on Twitter and you’ll know everything that it--Oh! Number one, next Tuesday is my birthday. [cheers] But also volume 3 of He Left a Dead Witch is the Call of Cthulu anthology series that we’ve been doing over on the Twitch channel @hyperRPG starts that night, so it’ll be at 7 o’clock p.m. Pacific time. You don’t have to watch the other volumes to know what’s going on, so check that out on twitch.tv/hyperRPG.

KC: You can follow yellow lion Mark Donica at @MarkBDonica. You can follow blue lion Alexis Torres at @atorrest890. I’m Katie Cullen, you can follow me all over the social medias as well as on YouTube and Twitch at @kiaxet. That is K-I-A-X-E-T. I am also on an Overwatch called “On the Point”, and I am on an all things Roosterteeth podcast along with Megan and a host of other wonderful people called the--called “Rooster Team Radio”, so anchor.fm/theroosterteam if you still want to hear us talk about things including giant robots because Gen:LOCK is a thing.

Host: Gen:LOCK is amazing!

KC: Gen:LOCK is such a thing. Well, this is it. Thank you again for coming on. Thank you guys for doing this entire ridiculous show with me. Thank you everyone for watching. See you later, paladudes.

Voiceover: Our founder: Keven Undergaro and me, Megan Menounos, would like to thank you for tuning in to Afterbuzz TV. Remember, we’re not just the first, we’re the biggest in the world and we’re the only destination for all your favorite TV shows. Whatever you crave, we’ve got it, so go to afterbuzztv.com and check out our lineup. Buzz you later!

#dragon's ramblings #TeamPurpleLion #vld #abtv #ABTVVoltron #afterbuzz tv #voltron #voltron legendary defender #transcript #jds #lm #joaquim dos santos #lauren montgomery

[miss-bunny-who]

June 11th, 2019

Hello :)

It’s been a few days, so I’m checking in: how have you been doing? (I’m tagging a few people @improvingovertime @fatmaninalittlesuit @toughenoughtiffany @evolutionofacosfitter  @akatyeh @i-feel-like-a-joan @i-go-bananacrazy but if you’re not on the list and we’re mutuals, I still want to know how you are^^)

Here it’s been a difficult couple of days. 

I’ll start with the positive things: today was weigh-in day. I’ve been doing WW for three weeks, and I lost 0.3kg this week (that’s almost 0.7lbs). It might now seem much, but I’m very happy with that result since in the last few days, I’ve eaten twice at the restaurant (and I ate what I wanted to eat, so those choices were not the healthiest, but they were the most pleasurable), pizza yesterday evening (bacon, lots of cheese, potatoes, cream...) and a big ass cake (black forest, my favorite) on Saturday. So to get -0.3kg is GREAT. So, 3 weeks, -2.1kg, I’m very good with that result!

Now for the less positive things. 

You might know my partner has a daughter. She turns 9 today, but since she’s only with us on the weekends, we had a party for her on Saturday. She doesn’t have many friends. Actually, she has one. Whom I invited, of course. Anyway, the weekend was very difficult for me. I did almost everything for her birthday: I chose and bought her presents (plural, and let me tell you, we are not rich. with what we spent for her birthday we could buy 3 weeks worth of food. But I didn’t buy eveything at once: a little bit in April, a little bit in March, put some money aside to be able to get her something she would like); I invited her friend and went to get her (her parents NEVER make the efforts of driving her to our place, or of inviting ours for that matter) and that’s 30min away from here (so 1h round trip), I ordered the cake and went to get it ; I asked her father to ask her if she wanted a special dinner ; I shopped for what she asked and cooked everything (all of that with a running nose, a massive headache and a fever). The only thing I didn’t do is the guacamole because she requested her dad do it. 

At the end of it, she said Thank you to her dad for the guac, and I didn’t get any love. She opened her presents and barely looked at them and overall acted like all of this was absolutely normal and she was entitled to it. 

The next morning, we were in the kitchen getting ready for breakfast, and she came in, said a big fat cheery hello to her dad, and sat in front of me not saying anything. She then proceeded to ask me if she could use my knife to butter her bread, to which I responded “maybe if you said hi first, I’d be enclined to talk to you”. She then decided to ignore me for the rest of the meal, got jam instead of butter for her bread, and then left and never talked to me again. 

I literally burst into tears after she was gone. I’ve been busting my ass for her, getting out of my way to make her feel welcome - and believe me, it’s been difficult for me, who never wanted kids, to accept the fact that this kid, that I hadn’t chosen, had such an impact of my life. I am forced to certain things because 9 years ago, my BF decided to have a child with another woman. (who is a major pain in the ass by the way, and even that is too nice). That particular life choice is not mine, and I have to live with it every single day. as you know, we’ve moved. I wanted to move, that’s for sure. But believe me, the town we are now was not my first choice. We moved there because we wanted to get closer to her, so my BF could ask for shared custody. I took the steps to sell our flat. I put the papers together, I was the one who was there when the buyers visited it over and over again. I looked through the ads to find our new place. Took all the appointments. Did the papers again. Took on my time to check with the realter, the bank, the notary. Did most of the boxes. All the while preparing for my exam, going to my doctors appontments, taking care of the housework, the shopping, the cooking. I’m supposed to be resting. I’m on sick leave. I have been for the past 9 months. This has been a stressful two months. I did all of this, for them. Not even for me. Once again, I sacrificed myself for the well-being of another person. Because I love them. Even this little ungrateful cunt, I love her. Not so much right now, but you get the picture. And this is the thanks I get? Being ignored when I tell her to say good morning? watching her father getting all the credit when all he did was fucking guac? 

There are so many times during this weekend when I just wanted to end things. 

I told him I wouldn’t talk to her until she said hi and sorry. She finally did. Because her father made her. She wouldn’t have otherwise. That evening we went to a restaurant and it was alright. So before she went to bed I took the opportunity, since I had had time to calm down, to talk to her. I told here I was very sad and hurt by her behavior, and explained, without incriminating her father, why I was sad. I asked her if there was some kind of problem with me, and that it was absolutely okay if there was, because I’m guessing having a step-mom, even if it’s been 3 years, is not an easy thing. But if there was any kind of problem, I would like her to tell me, wo we could work on it. She was really sad that she’d made me sad, and that touched me. We went to bed happy and all was well. 

The next day, I knew the minute I entered the kitchen that it was going to be a hellish day again. She got up on “baby” mode. Suddenly, she’s like 4 or 5, and it lasts all day. All she wants to do is cuddle her dad, sit on his lap, she’ll talk like a little girl and act like she’s 5 again. And I fucking hate it. Because when this happen, HE lets her. And I hate her when she does that, and I hate him when he lets and even encourages her. 

She’s messy. She doesn’t take care of her things, her room is... I don’t even know what to call her room. But honestly, I don’t care: it’s her room, I won’t go in there unless I’m invited, and I don’t clean in there. She knows how to mess things up, she’ll know how to tidy. That’s my take on it and I won’t budge. But when she takes her mess into the common rooms, I am not happy. I had already told her to tidy her things in the bathroom - shampoo and soap she’ll leave on the shower floor, soaked in water, dirty underwear on the floor, hairties in the sink.... I had told her twice, nicely. On Monday, I didn,’t tell things so nicely. Here dad, who was behind the door, waited for her to come out and kissed her. Like poor baby, you’ve been scolded I’m gonna kiss your sadness away. WHAT IS THAT?! he knows I’m right, but he always comes in like a superhero, and I’m always the bad guy. He never tells her off. He says he doesn’t see her that much and doesn’t want to ruin the time he has with her by doing so. I understand, I do. But it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing. It’s not good for her, it’s not good for him, it’s not good for us. Mostly, she’s a good kid. But she’s still a kid and she likes to test the limits. I’m always the one who tells her when she oversteps. He never does. 

It happened 3 or 4 times yesterday, and everytime he stepped in to take his kid’s side. I’m telling you, this has got to stop. I’ve been pretty patient. I’ve changed a lot of my ways to accommodate them both. I know I can be difficult to live with, but I’m making so many efforts, and he knows it. He knows all I do or say is in their best interest. But every time he does that, he’s teaching her she can do anything and she will always be right and I will always be wrong. And that pisses me off. 

Every time this happened this weekend, she shot me a look that meant “see? I AM his favorite. Say what you want, it’s always gonna be me”. And don’t tell me I’m exaggerating: my friend H was over, and she saw it too. I didn’t even have to tell her anything. 

I don’t know if I can go on like this much longer. 

I spent most of the weekend crying. My BF apologized and told me I was right, but when she wasn’t listening. He said he’ll try to do better. He admits to having let himself live: I’m too god at what I do, it makes life easy for him, and he took advantage of it. It made me so happy that he would say it. But I honestly don’t know if he’s capable of change. You could say I could let things go... and chill if things are not done right away. But I can’t live in a mess, knowing some papers have to be taken care of, that the bank is waiting for something, that the school needs this, there’s that doctor appointment to think of, this brthday coming up, her mother to call for mother’s day... he won’t do any of those things if I don’t do them, or 3 weeks later. And that gives me anxiety. And I already have plenty of that so...

Anyway, that was a long ass post and I’m sorry, but I needed to get it off my chest. If you want to comment, please do. Sometimes I’m ranting and I don’t want people to comment. This is not one of those times. Any two cents will be appreciated.   

#life at elise's

[grimelords]

​My March playlist is finished and posted on time for once! Please enjoy three and a half hours of my new and old favourite music. A lot of post-hardcore, country of a few different flavours and a thirteen second long song that goes beep beep boop. Enjoy.

Old Money - Omar Rodriguez-Lopez: Who among you will join me on my podcast ‘Omar Podriguez-Locast’ where we discuss one of Omar Rodriguez’s 60+ insane solo albums every week and grow gradually infuriated with the very existence of each other until listeners are just tuning in each week for the episode where one of us finally snaps and attacks the other with a microphone?

America’s Most Blunted - Madvillain: It’s weird that this song about the wild and wacky world of jazz cigarettes opens up with a Steve Reich sample before moving into some real Reefer Madness type lameness at the end. Songs from so long before any type of legalisation are so lame like 'recent research shows that it’s not so darn harmful!’. This song is still very good though. I only found out that Lord Quas was just Madlib recently but I really respect the idea of having a rap alter-ego that’s just you with a pitch pedal.

Love My Way - The Psychedelic Furs: An underrated part of Call Me By Your Name is when Armie Hammer hears this song playing from a car and sprints over to dance with a woman who looks like she’s doing the monster mash.

Seven Stop Hold Restart - Bear Vs. Shark: Despite their bad name Bear Vs. Shark are a very good band and the best lyric in this song is when he says 'I am nine years old with short legs and arms.’ What I like about this song, and this band, is that the screaming is not the sort of affected scream-singing of a lot of their contemporaries it’s just a stocky guy absolutely yelling his guts out, which I appreciate.

Turncoat Revolution - Hot Cross: I think that’s close to what I like so much about Hot Cross too, I’ve never listened to Saetia either (the other band this guy sings for) but maybe I should because I just love this guy’s voice. The central hammery riff is so appealing to me but my favourite part of this song is the ending where the three chords just shrink away as the whole thing mellows down, it feels like realising you’ve been mad at something that happened in a dream this whole time.

Mag11 P82 - Venetian Snares and Daniel Lanois: Venetian Snares is apparently doing an album with Daniel Lanois who produced a bunch of U2 albums so my dream of a Bono/Venetian Snares team up is one step closer to reality. I like collaborations like this where you can very clearly tell who did what part. It’s hard to mistake when and how Venetian Snares is involved in a song a lot of the time. I really like this team up because freeing Snares from any kind of melodic responsibility allows Lanois to give the song a huge amount of space, unprecedented in a Snares song where the melody is often just as frantic as the rest of it.

Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos: Do you remember when Tori Amos had that album called American Doll Posse where she was doing a bunch of characters or something and it’s got one of the worst covers of all time in my opinion and I think about it a lot. Had a song called Big Wheel on it that I get stuck in my head a lot. But this isn’t that song so never mind! I was thinking about the production on this song, and how crazy it is to have whistling as a big part of your song while avoiding having everyone think of it as 'that whistling song’. All the instrumentation on this is great, the mandolin and acoustic next to each other making a huge bed for the piano to move under, then the harpsichord sounding keyboard and the guest vocal near the end, there’s just so much happening I love it.

The Field That Touches My House And Yours - Sarah Louise: This is probably the upcoming album I’m most excited about right now. Sarah Louise (who’s one half of House And Land who I’ve posted about before) is pulling a real James Blake by releasing a lot of amazing instrumental music and then suddenly revealing she’s an absolutely incredible singer and songwriter as well.

Jezebel - The Drones: The Drones have a lot of good songs about how it’s the end of the world and we’re all fucked and we’re all gonna die but this is one of my favourites. The sort of wide ranging scientific nihilism of an opening line like 'strontium 90, removed from milk’ really sets the tone for the rest of this song as it lays out every war like an ongoing nightmare that you have no option but to participate in as your body and the earth turn to muck in their wake.

How Sweet It Is - Karen Dalton: Everyone always talks about Karen Dalton as this mercurial folk phenomenon but I really love her second album where she just does standards with a full band. Hearing her bring her insane, complete chaos sense of rhythm to these regular-ass songs is such a delight to me. The way she just swoops in on the first line with absolutely no regard for whatever else is going on really cracks me up. That the song has backing vocalists for the chorus just makes it better, I imagine them singing while glancing at each other with panicked eyes as she just wildly darts around the microphone and sings absolutely whenever.

Bang Bang - Vanilla Fudge: Pitchfork had some video about the origins of heavy metal and I lasted about ten seconds becuase they mentioned a 60s psychedelic metal forerunner named Vanilla Fudge and my brain went 'funy’ so I looked them up instead. This song is a nightmare I absolutely love it, there’s simply not enough organs around anymore. The organ sounds absolutely immense and balanced against their cursed harmonies it sounds even bigger, what a jam.

Ride For Me (feat. Young Thug & 24 Hrs) - A-Trak and Falcons: Young Thug has finally brought back his insane Harambe voice and I for one couldn’t be happier. I have no idea who 24hrs is but he for real sounds like when Justin Beiber first came out so that’s a thrill.

Space Song - Beach House: This might be the platonic ideal of a Beach House song, it’s just beautiful and I don’t think I really have anything more to say about it. Beach House put out two albums in 2015, they put out the on that this song is on and then like three weeks later they surprise released another one and I was so shocked by the deluge of content that I have never listened to the second one. A powerful lesson for Beach House.

Anna - Will Butler: This song is so good I have no recollection of what the rest of the album sounds like, I just listen to this song over and over and over. Every part is good. The brass, the 'ba ba ba’s, they way he says 'you Got to get Mo-nay’, the piano breaks that sound like he’s just slamming it with flat hands. What a gift.

Hawkmoon 269 - U2: Here’s the straight up truth that nobody wants to hear: Rattle And Hum is U2’s best album. It’s literally just The Joshua Tree except better. It’s every bad instinct of U2 turned up to 11, which is what makes it good. He mentions preachers like twenty times on this album and there’s a gospel choir on two songs, it’s all happening all the time.

Silver And Gold - U2: Here also, is the straight truth: this is U2’s best song. A proper straight up political song about a specific idea, incredible instrumentation and Bono realising halfway through his speech that the crowd unfortunately does not care about Desmond Tutu’s request for economic sanctions against South Africa.

Hunting For Witches - Bloc Party: Post 9/11 war on terror indie is such a good genre. Kele’s always been a bit of a lame-o and he’s really on display here but when the instrumentation bangs like this it’s forgivable. Bloc Party have always seemed like a band where absolutely everyone is pulling their weight and doing the most in every single song and this is a good example. The drums! Matt Tong deserves a trophy!

All Of The Lights - Kanye West: I literally remember where I was the first time I heard the drums in this song, that’s how good it was. I can’t believe I only just found out that every single famous person features on this song. I thought it was just Rhianna but it turns out it’s La Roux in the 'fast cars shooting stars’ bit, Cudi in the 'getting mine’ bit, and fucking Fergie in the 'unemployment line’ part PLUS Elton John and Alicia Keys in the outro? This song is ridiculous. It’s almost a shame that such an incredible song in every aspect features some of Kanye’s most boneheaded verses but I suppose that’s what I love about him.

Let’s Hear It For The Boy - Deniece Williams: I’d like to invite you all now to stand and give a round of applause for my dipshit miser boyfriend that dresses like shit and can’t sing, I love him. I love this song a lot because I feel like she’s talking about me. This is a great song that’s right at the top of my long list of potential wrestling entrance themes.

Hey! - The Go! Team: I was premature when I said that new Go Team album wasn’t that great because it is in actuality very very good. This song would make a good wrestling theme too now that I think of it.

Monument - Royksopp & Robyn: I put the T.I.E. version of this song on my list last month and that prompted me to give the original another listen because it’s honestly just as good in a totally opposite direction. A long bit of space-jazz instead of a monolith threatening to crush you.

Merrymaking At My Place - Calvin Harris: My friend sent me this song and said it reminded him of Mother! which is very funny in my opinion. Loads of people come to my house, they take stuff inside of my house, and smoke stuff outside of my house, lots of people at my front door, lots of people in my front door, trying to get into my house. At my place [leaning into the mic] Baby. [panicked] Baby at my place.

Precious Lord (Take My Hand) (Parts 1 & 2) - Aretha Franklin: I was searching spotify for a good version of The Day Is Past And Gone and ended up finding this Aretha Franklin album that is absolutely incredible. It turns out it’s her first ever recording from when she was 14, which is mind boggling. It sounds like it was recorded from the back row of the church so it has this incredible amount of space to it and she just completely fills it with immense power. Even her piano playing is amazing. The whole thing is just an astonishing piece of music.

Big Iron - Marty Robbins: I was camping this month and thinking about country music, and so this and the next few songs are the result of that. I think Taylor Swift should not only pivot back to county for her next album but pivot back to this kind of cowboy story-song country. She should, in fact, just cover this song. This is The cowboy album and I feel like Marty Robbins may have been the most American man that ever lived, he used the money he made from cowboy songs to finance a NASCAR career.

Country Dumb - Josh T. Pearson: I spent a long time on the fence about Josh T. Pearson because music like this always raises the question of authenticity. He sort of feels like the country version of Nick Cave to me, straining for a very very authentic thing but in actuality a Berlin art boy. The main difference between Pearson and Cave though is that Pearson is actually very good. So I reconcile it by telling myself he’s a sort of Lana Del Rey character singer or something like that. This song is so great and I especially like his guitar style of letting the words lead and the guitar follow, where the lyrics are at the forefront and every part of the music is purely in support of them. 

Angel From Montgomery - John Prine: I’m so glad that John Prine is enjoying a bit of a late life resurgence in popularity among the Youth right now because he really deserves it. He feels like the songwriter that every songwriter loves but nobody else has ever heard of. I love this song, it feels like it was custom built to be some 70 year old country woman’s 'Hurt’.

Bogota Affair - Kid Creole And The Coconuts: A good and tropical song about getting cucked on an island and absolutely loving it.

Mientras La Veo Sonar - Rx Bandits: I figured out the reason I like this song and it’s honestly just that it sounds like watered down Mars Volta and I’ll take all of that you’ve got.

Joan, I’m Disappearing - City Calm Down: The way the first line of this song is an unexpected anacrusis makes me laugh cause it feels like the guy from The National just suddenly stepping into your room and collapsing into a seat to complain. I absolutely love this song, I’ve been listening to it on repeat. It’s melodically brilliant in the chorus, it just keeps giving, and structurally it never gets boring by just getting bigger and expanding the entire time to this huge emotional outpouring. I love the lyrics to this song because they’re so pathetic, which sounds like a strange and cruel thing to say but it’s true. It’s such a specific misguided melodramatic plea for a childish love that went on for too long and it’s just so heartbreaking and pathetic, and when it’s turned up to the emotional peak it’s believable and you sympathise. I wish this song went for five minutes more.

Footsteps - Dardanelles: This album was the critical darling of Australian music in 2006 and then this band just totally disappeared and I couldn’t find it for a long time before someone added it to spotify last year and now all their songs have <1000 plays. Very mysterious. I go through stages of being totally obsessed with this song, every part of it is just my favourite kind of pretentious art rock shit. 'This trail of breadcrumbs below your feet whispers like muscle cars on heat’? That’s good lyrics!

Queen Majesty - Techniques: I heard this song late at night when I was listening to ABC RN to fall asleep and some old guy was explaining how rocksteady was better than reggae and now I agree with him.

Opal (Four Tet Remix) - Bicep: The way this song builds around the central strong chords is just incredible, it’s a really simple motif and the way it comes back and sits foundationally through the whole piece. I love in the later half how the extra off-time melodies that seem to have no relation at all to the just come swooping through and almost destabilise the whole thing before those strong strong chords come through again. Also I have a strong suspicion that the snare sound in this is just Four Tet slapping his desk which I respect.

Jesus Came To My Birthday Party - The Middle East: I can’t overstate how much this song is directly wired to my brain stem. It is just perfect. This song is so simple but it feels like it came from another dimension to impart wisdom to me. It honestly makes me feel crazy. This whole album feels like the long lost brother of In The Aeroplane Over The Sea thematically and it really deserves a similar spot in the canon in my opinion. Please listen to it.

Eden - Talk Talk: The dynamics in the guitar playing is what really gets me in this song. The huge crescendo where it feels like the sound is being pulled apart from the inside dissipating to steam as soon as the groove kicks in. I don’t know, there’s not much to be said about Spirit Of Eden that hasn’t already been said, it’s transcendental music. It’s cliched but this is great driving music, music to space out and think about the universe to.

Outlaw Blues - Queens Of The Stone Age: What a treat to suddenly discover that one of my favourite bands has covered my favourite Bob Dylan song and done a great job of it too!

No Condition Is Permanent - Marijata: Ok this is embarrassing but the way I found out about this song was some goober on the overwatch subreddit had made playlists for every hero (Torbjorn’s was all electo-swing and pirate metal so who knows what the fuck was going on) and this and the next song were both on the Doomfist playlist, which was a lot of 70s afro-funk and highlife music which personally isn’t really telling the full story of Doomfist but that’s a whole other post. Anyway this song is great, and I’m glad I listened to this whole dumb-ass playlist to find it. I have a real affinity for songs like that that feel like the recording only ended cause they ran out of tape or the singer collapsed from exhaustion. This song could go for another 20 minutes and I’d only love it more.

Love And Death - Ebo Taylor: The groove of the drums in this song and the melodies of the horns are just hypnotising, and combined with the lyrics this feels like some very dark magic that I completely love. The guitar is really amazing in this as well actually, especially the solo where he switches back and forth between jazz soloing and just frantically strumming open chords.

Automatic (12" Version) - The Pointer Sisters: Huge fan of the extremely powerful megaman synth that comes in about halfway through this song and just charges the whole place up. I love how rich and deep her voice is, how it’s built on by the harmonies in the prechorus and then unleashed in the chorus. I also love how simple the chorus is, it doesn’t overshadow the rest of the song and the verses are just as good which is exactly what you want from a long mix like this. Huge fan of the deep guy’s voice just saying 'au-to-ma-tic’ during the fade out too, give that guy some more to do.

White Girl - Soul Coughing: Lyrically most Soul Coughing songs sound like somewhere between echolalia and reading out every street sign that you see, which is very appealing to me because that’s essentially how I communicate, but this one feels like a dire warning about an approaching conqueror. Also the ending of this song make me laugh because it’s the same as at the end of New Noise by Refused where he just screams 'THE NEW BEAT’ over and over and over after the instruments have all finished and in my eyes that’s a very very funny thing to do with the phrase 'white girl’.

Tone Tone Tone & Tone Tone Two - Shuta Hasunuma and U-zhaan: This album feels like some real Tiny Mix Tapes-core; a collaboration between two Japanese composers - a found object orchestra composer and a tabla player but against all odds it’s actually good. Unfortunately my favourite part of it is this 13 second piece of music that sounds like the brand ID for a very high-end podcast network.

I Won’t Be Found - The Tallest Man On Earth: I listened to this song eight times in a row and sang along the whole time on my drive home from work the other day. His voice is so uniquely good, a cowboy yodel with a slight swedish accent. I’m hooked right from when he sings 'morning’ as 'morning-AH’.

Now U Got Me Hooked - A.A.L: I can’t get over how good this new Nicolas Jaar side project album is. It’s just wall to wall bangers, a perfect party album. I love the really raw sound of a lot of the drums in this song; the huge clap that’s on the edge of being over-distorted mixed with a huge rumbling kick blowing out the low frequency that eventually cleans up and brings the sample back in and almost eliminates the bass entirely before it drops again and the sequence starts over. I love how long a lot of the songs on this album are, every idea is given so much room to completely stretch out.

Ride - Lana Del Rey: I saw Lana live last night and as soon as the first notes of this song played the girl in front of me absolutely screamed 'BITCH!!’ and I felt a real kinship with her. I really think this might be my favourite song of hers. It makes me so emotional every time and I can’t even pinpoint why. The way she sings 'fucking crazy’ the huge, sweeping chorus. It’s just amazing, I love her so much! Bitch!!

listen here

#playlists

[parkerrogersgirl]

Tempting Fate- Chapter 17

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word Count: 1,428

Warnings: LITERALLY SO CUTE @sonofadeanwinchester wrote the best fucking flashback and I love it. tiny bit of sexiness if you squint

A/N: Hey, y’all! @sonofadeanwinchester and I decided it’d be cool if we wrote a series together. SO, HERE’S CHAPTER 17! Please, please, please give us feedback. Feedback is the glue that keeps the writers together. We need the feedback. Send either of us an ask, and we’ll just send each other screenshots. Or you can send it to both of us. Thanks, lovelies.

3You open the front door to an empty house, raising an eyebrow at Seb, “Seb, where is everyone?”

“I may have convinced them to give us the house to ourselves today. I’m going to spoil you. Today is your day.”

You blush, looking up at him, “so then what’s first?”

He heads into the kitchen, putting on Gabe’s apron, “first, you’re gonna go change into pajamas and go to the living room. We’re gonna have a rom-com day. After I make you lunch, of course.”

“And what’s for lunch, dear?” You say as you walk up behind him, wrapping your arms around him.

“If you don’t go get changed and get that cute little ass on the couch, you’ll never find out,” he says with a sweet smile.

You groan and go upstairs, changing into a pair of his boxers and one of his t-shirts, then go back downstairs to get on the couch. You put on The Notebook, which was always your go-to romance movie with Sebastian. You’d even recreated the “tell me I’m a bird” scene last time you’d gone to the beach. The memory stings a little, as it was about a week or two before he left for college. You shake it off and wait for Sebastian, and you recognize the smell of processed, powdered cheese anywhere. You spread out on the couch while Sebastian brings over a tray. 

“I love your outfit, darling,” he says, sitting next to you. He’s already cut up the hot dogs and added them to the pasta. He kisses you softly and you play the movie, taking a bite of your food.

You moan, looking over at him, “I literally haven’t had this since before you left.”

He sighs, moving closer to you to wrap an arm around your shoulder, “baby, you gotta stop talking about me leaving. It happened, but it was five years ago. If we want to move on, we can’t keep bringing up the fact that I left for college. It’s not going to happen. I promise.”

The movie starts and you eat as you lean on him. This movie had always pretty consistently made you cry, but you loved it nonetheless.

Halfway through the movie, you set your bowls back on the tray. He leans on the side of the couch and you lay back on him as the movie plays. He strokes your hair as you watch the movie, occasionally blowing lightly on your neck, sending shivers down your spine. When Noah and Allie are in the house you giggle as you feel him get hard under you, and you grind on him a little. He nibbles your ear, whispering to you in Romanian. You turn your head slightly, glaring at him.

“Stop turning me on, Seb.”

“How can I do that when you’re absolutely delicious when you’re wearing my clothes?”

You shake your head and he stops, letting you go back to focusing on the movie.

You cry at the end when Noah and Allie died in their sleep holding hands and Seb hugs you to him.

“That’s gonna be us one day, darling. We’re gonna grow old together.”

You smile as the movie ends, and you stand up to stretch, “what do you wanna do now, Sebby?”

“Actually I’ll be right back,” he says quickly before disappearing upstairs. You stay standing, super confused. He comes back after a few minutes, stepping toward you.

“Wellll I was thinking we could go upstairs?”

“Oh, really?” You say with a smirk, “and what do you have planned, baby?”

He grins and turns you around, putting on his tie and tying it over your eyes. “What the fuck, Seb?”

“You’ll find out, darling.” He picks you up bridal style, carrying you upstairs. When he goes into the guest room, he accidentally misjudges where your foot is and it hits the door jam with a THUNK. “FOR FUCK’S SAKE, SEBASTIAN.”

“Shit, sorry babe.” He sets you down on the floor so you’re standing, and he takes off the blindfold.

“Seb… what is this?” The room is covered in rose petals and candles, and you turn to look at him.

“It’s a day just for you, baby. I screwed up, and today is me making it up to you.” So I’m gonna give you a massage, and then we’re going to take a bath with some LUSH stuff your mom suggested.”

“WAIT YOU GOT ME STUFF FROM LUSH?!” He laugh, hugging you as he kisses the top of your head, “I knew you would enjoy that. Strip and get on that bed, baby. You’re about to have the best massage of your life.”

----

“Are you sure you wanna wear that?” Sebastian eyed my bathing suit that mimicked one from early 1950s. He cocked a brow. “You look like that girl from The Notebook.”

I laughed. “That makes you my Noah.”

He shook his head, fluffing out the beach towel before lowering himself down on the sand. “I’d be happy to look like Ryan Gosling.”

“Babe, you’re handsome. I’d pick you over Ryan Gosling any day.”

With a hand over his heart, he smirked. “Well, you’re about the only woman on earth that would say that so thank you.”

I wrapped the red bandana around my hair and jogged towards the water. “Sebby! Come in!”

He shook his head. “Sorry, Love, maybe later.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. “Sebastian Stan. Get your cute little ass in the water. Get in the water.” He shook his head. “Get in the water, man! Get in the water!” He cocked a brow, giving me that all too well known look of sarcasm. “No, I’m sorry baby, please just get in.”

Begrudgingly, he stood marching to the water. “You’re lucky that you’re cute.”

I laughed, “how far would you swim out to save me?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Answer the question, Seb. If i was out in the middle of the ocean, sharks looming around me, threatening to eat me alive. Would you swim out to save me?”

He shook his head, shrugging. “You swam out that far, you can fucking swim yourself in.”

My jaw dropped and he smirked. “You’re kidding.”

Coming close enough to kiss my nose, he laughed. “Baby, I’d swim to the end of the earth for you.”

I smiled, stepping back. I started flapping my arms up and down. “Seb.”

He lifted his sunglasses enough for me to see his blue eyes shine in the California sun. “Mhmm.”

“I’m a bird.” He shook his head. “Say I’m a bird. Say it! Say it now!”

He rolled his eyes again. “You’re a bird.”

I smirked, flapping my arms harder. “Now say you’re a bird too.”

He flapped his arms, chasing towards me and wrapping them around my waist. “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.”

-----

Seb hadn’t been joking about the massage. It actually had been the best of your life. He’d always been good at massages, but there was something about your commitment to each other that made the experience more intimate. After your massage, you’d taken a bath with him in the bathroom in your parents’ room. Your mom and Gabe literally never used it, and apparently had promised Sebastian that it hadn’t been used since they’d bought the house. Your mom had bought you a bath bomb from Lush along with your favorite soap, and you were ecstatic. She’d bought you “Sex Bomb,” and had apparently winked at Seb when she’d given him the bag. He’d washed you with the soap and you’d felt like you were in heaven. After your shower, you put on pajamas, which he loved. He always loved when you dressed casually in front of him, because it made him feel like you were truly comfortable around him.

You go downstairs and get back on the couch. He puts on La La Land and grins at you.

“Have you seen this, baby?”

“Uhhhhh have I seen this? Of course I’ve seen this. I’ve probably seen this about 8,000 times.”

He gets on the top of you on the couch, leaning down so his face is almost to yours.

“Would you still pick me over Ryan Gosling, baby?”

“Eh, I don’t know. He proposed and I turned him down, but now that I’m with you, I think I’m settling.”

He puts a hand over his heart, “am I at least your favorite Sebastian?”

“You would be, except for my little friend, Sebastian the crab.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too, Sebby.”

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[megacircuit9universe]

I Promise I am Drunk

SAT JAN 04 2020

So... Trump killed a guy a couple days ago.  A guy named Quassem Soleimani, who was the top military commander of the Iranian military... who got snuffed in Baghdad, literally out of the blue, by an airstrike.

Now, Soleimani was a sworn enemy of the U.S., and also a fairly brilliant commander who was responsible for a lot of underhanded stuff going on over there that’s killed a lot of our soldiers over the years as we’ve been occupying both Iraq and Afghanistan... for nearly two decades.

But, he was also kind of helpful in our fight against Isis and... well, honestly I don’t have much of a grasp of all the inside baseball that’s been going on over there these past twenty years, but suffice it to say... this guy was a top level official, of a foreign country (rather than some stateless terrorist group) and... nobody was briefed about this... execution... before it went down.

Essentially, what happened was... Trump was furious over the holidays about having been impeached, and impulsively decided to have this guy killed in order to change the headlines, and, I guess start a war, so that he’ll get reelected.

But this was such an over the top, out of left field move to make, that nobody has any idea exactly what’s gonna happen next.  It got, “#WWIII,” trending as the number one hashtag on Twitter for two days, though... which is really saying something.

I’ve been googling, “WWIII,” “WW3,” and “world war three,” on a fairly regular basis, since Bush took us into Iraq, back in March of 2003... just to see if anybody was taking seriously the threat of a third world war and... surprisingly, it’s never popped up on the first page.  Even where it has popped up, it’s usually in reference to some game, or movie or something... never as a serious worry, or even speculation about an actual third world war.*

So for, “#WWIII,” to be trending number one on Twitter, on January 2nd and 3rd... tells you what a singularly insane move this was on Trump’s part.

Not that it’s going to trigger World War 3, however... because we’re just not on the brink of it, these days.  

If you bar the use of nuclear weapons by anybody... as you would, because everybody knows it would lead to the entire planet being an inhospitable hellscape for thousands of years... then you’re talking about a conventional war on a global scale and... nobody’s in the mood to do that, right now... especially with the major aggressor being the United States.

We have overwhelming air and sea superiority over, pretty much the rest of the world combined.  And our ground game is also... pretty much unstoppable.

Cyber warfare would be the best option for any nation, or alliance of nations looking to cripple our military infrastructure... as we are notoriously weak on that front.  

Jamming and spoofing the GPS signals coming in from our satellites is ridiculously easy, and would not only kill most of our power grid, but disable most of our tanks, planes, ships, and missiles.

But it could also lead to the collapse of modern civilization around the globe, and... nobody really wants that right now either... if it can be avoided.

Luckily, Iran is not stupid.  They are a very large, tech savvy nation, with intelligent leaders who know what’s up... not only in the Middle East, but on the global stage.

Everybody involved here, both our allies, and Iran, and their allies... know exactly what the problem is, in this moment in history, where this man,  Soleimani, has been killed, in... what would normally be considered an act of war.

The problem here, is the same problem those AI bots trying to keep the economy stable, identified a while back... it’s Donald Trump, specifically.

America didn’t do this.  He did this... all by himself, because he was upset that his country is trying to remove him from office.

Now, the next passage of my entry here is gonna be difficult to articulate without tripping any NSA warning flags, but... 

That Old Testament passage about an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, also appears in the Quran.

At any rate, I predict that Iran’s most likely response, will be to help Mr. Trump to truly become another Abraham Lincoln... and another John F. Kennedy.

Trump may feel that this would be too high an honor... having only just been granted inclusion to the elite club that only Andrew Johnson, and Bill Clinton had membership.  So... he will bashfully resist.

But, Iran will insist that he has truly earned the right to join this other club, of more well respected Presidents as well.

Will they get their way?

I... don’t think that question is really the point here.  

The point is that this pathological rule breaker, just graduated to... executing a high level commander of a nation we were not at war with... for no justifiable reason.

And this means, the days of three rallies a week, and golfing every weekend at his favorite resort... are over.  From now on any rallies, and any golf outings are gonna have to be locked down tighter than a Space Force space station on red alert.

And given that these are the only two activities he has to nourish his ego and soothe his frazzled nerves... that’s gonna take an even bigger toll on his fragile mental health than impeachment could ever hope to... and the impeachment trial is still gonna happen... in an election year!

So, even if Iran does not get their way, Trump is almost certainly gonna go so nuts that he orders a nuke strike somewhere... which will be ignored, but trigger his immediate removal from office... which will lead to his immediate imprisonment... and then... you know.

* The one exception to this was, oddly enough, John Titor, who appeared in the early 2000s, as the only person online in this period talking about World War Three... saying that in his timeline it happened around 2013, as the eventual result of the Y2K disaster, which happened in his 2000, and lead to a tyrannical American President taking power.  The actual WW3 in his account, was a short war in which small tactical nukes, launched by China and Canada, took out a couple power centers in the U.S.

[iatethepomegranate]

Homecoming Chapter 20

@iontorch @prettybeefballs @darkmagicianknight

(GUESS WHO’S BAAAACK)

The whole fic is a sequel to Human Connection (can be read as a standalone, but character personalities make more sense if read together)

Tag, in chronological order

Shiny New Masterlist of the entire fic series (including AO3 link because I don’t trust tumblr to behave regarding external links anymore)

Pairing: DickTiger

Rating: Mature

Length: 5k (this chapter)

Summary: It's been a rough ride. As everyone slows down in the wake of the past week, dark feelings rise to the surface.

Notes: TRIGGER WARNINGS: Loved ones in medical danger & requiring hospital treatment, not knowing if the loved one is going to survive. 

I have included specifics on the medical danger and a summary of that scene in the endnote of my AO3 post on this chapter. You can find the AO3 link to the full fic in my masterlist. I don’t trust tumblr to NOT shove me out of the DickTiger tag if I post external links again.

The scene in question is the final one, when Tiger, Tim and Dick go to the Batcave.

Chapter 20

Helena took point for the journey to the rendezvous point with Jason watching for attacks from the rear. Tiger was sending updates to Batman, who had successfully taken over the facility. The rest of the family had dispersed throughout the building, collecting prisoners now that the immediate danger had passed. No one had come to an agreement about what to do about them yet.

Dick leaned heavily on Tiger while Gloria stuck to the wall, unsteady but moving. Walking was hell. Dick's legs didn't want to support his weight, even without the bullet wound in his right calf. But clinging to Tiger was exhausting in itself and his arms were already shaking. Symptoms were slowly trickling back now that the fight was over. His vision kept swimming and his head kept throbbing and his neck felt like the victim of a bad acupuncture session.

“This is not working,” Tiger said. “We need to stop.”

Helena paused. “Make it quick.”

“You should stop walking,” Tiger said to Dick, lifting him into his arms.

“I swear everyone I've dated has done this at least once,” Dick semi-complained. In all honesty, though, he was just glad Tiger had saved him from admitting defeat a few metres later anyway.

“How are you, Gloria?” Tiger asked.

“Sweet of you to ask, but I'll be fine. We should keep moving.”

Dick rested his head against Tiger's shoulder. Even though Tiger took great pains not to jostle him, every step was like a hammer against his brain. Now would be a great time to go to sleep and get away from this, but he had hit his head a few times today so it probably wasn't the best idea until Alfred could examine him. Damn it.

They passed into a room. The light was too bright. Dick squeezed his eyes shut.

“We have injured,” Helena said. “How close are we to extraction?”

Then came the voice Dick had been wishing he could hear for days. “We need time to clear out any remaining resistance,” Batman said. “Is immediate attention required?”

“No one is about to die,” Helena replied, “but sooner is preferable.”

“We'll need a few more minutes to secure safe passage. I'll send Red Robin and Batgirl to Gotham with the injured as soon as possible.” A gloved hand grasped Dick's, who reluctantly opened his eyes, just a touch, to take in the concerned set of Batman's mouth beneath the cowl. “How are you feeling?”

“Been better. Light hurts.”

“There is a small office in the corner. It should be darker in there.” Batman called for Red Robin to move blankets they had collected into the office. There were enough that Tim was practically invisible behind them. Seeing a pile of floating blankets did nothing to improve Dick's opinion of his own health.

But, soon enough, he was lying on a stack of them behind the desk in the office, largely shielded from the light of the next room. Gloria was set up on the other side, closer to the door, since she didn't seem quite as sensitive.

Dick rested his hand over his eyes, letting out a long breath. The worst was over, and the rest would be done in a matter of minutes. Then he could go home and deal with whatever the fuck was happening to him.

Tiger squeezed his wrist. “Do not fall asleep yet, jaanaana.”

“I know, I know.”

Tiger let him go and there was a shift in light Dick barely noticed through his closed eyelids, but Tiger was definitely moving away from him.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I should help Batman lock down the facility.”

“Unarmed?” came Jason's voice.

Tiger sighed. “I'll need my gun back.”

Dick wanted to stop him, but had no idea how to do that without sounding needy. He hated that feeling. He wrestled with that in every relationship he'd had. He could sometimes be suffocating and too intense and just too much. No one knew how to handle him, least of all Dick himself.

Fortunately, Jason was fighting on his behalf. “We've got it handled, dude.”

“Is anyone watching the front entrance?”

“Red Robin's traps have got it covered.”

“Just give me the gun.”

Jason sighed. “If you insist.”

Then Tiger was gone.

“Maybe he just needs a few minutes,” Jason said. “It's been a long couple months.”

“I need a few minutes for my head to stop murdering me anyway,” Dick said. Then he fully intended to go after Tiger because fuck this insecurity bullshit. He had every right to be needy after everything he'd been through. He just had to figure out how to drag his wounded ass to the front of the building.

The sounds of activity in the other room were slightly muted, but Dick could pick up a few snatches of conversation. Tim and Barbara were discussing data with Helena. Jason was guarding an entrance to the room and Steph the other. Cass and Damian were sneaking up on stragglers together. Bruce was coordinating everything.

Barbara ducked in to shine a light in Gloria's eyes to make sure she didn't have something worse than a concussion. “No pupil contraction,” she said. “You should be okay, but we have a friend in Gotham who can perform a more thorough exam.”

“I can't see Batman letting her in the cave,” Dick replied.

“He's not. Leslie's on standby at her clinic.”

“Oh. Okay. Cool.” Dick couldn't wait for Alfred to clear him for sleep. His body was absolutely done with him.

“Just lie there and look pretty, okay?”

“Will do.” For now. Just being horizontal was doing wonders for his entire body, especially his head. There was still a good old-fashioned marching band wrecking the joint, but at least the drummers had calmed down a little.

Barbara left them to rest. Dick felt well enough to push himself into a sitting position. He rested against the wall while his head protested. He breathed through it.

Bruce and Jason were talking nearby, voices hushed. But Dick and Gloria were nowhere near as loud as everyone else, so the sound reached them anyway.

“What happened in there?” Bruce asked.

“That Daedalus guy,” Jason replied. “He'd taken over that agent's mind. Nightwing called her Alia. I think Helena called her Agent 8 in the briefings she sent.”

Bruce's glare was almost audible. He didn't need to ask why there was a dead Spyral agent.

“Daedalus was literally about to take over Nightwing's mind,” Jason said. “There was no time to waste, so Helena and I shot him. Alia was long gone.”

More silent glaring.

“You wanna hate me? Fine. Nightwing's alive because we chose his life over a dead woman's possessed corpse.”

Technically true, but maybe a little harsh.

“...where was Tiger in all this?”

“With me.”

“Why didn't he shoot? Since you insist it was the only option.”

“One of my guns jammed. He lent me his.”

Dick reached up and got a grip on the desk, pulling himself to his feet. Jason was good, but Bruce was a master of making people confess the truth. They'd committed to this path. If Bruce even got a hint that Jason was lying to protect Tiger, things would be much worse than they would have been if he'd admitted Tiger shot in the first place.

Dick made it to the doorframe, light hitting him in the face. Not great for the headache. He reached for the brightness setting on his mask and tinted his lenses, which helped a little.

“Where is he now?” Bruce asked.

“Watching the front entrance,” Jason replied.

“Fetch him. Red Robin and Batgirl are taking our injured to Gotham in a few minutes.”

“Let me handle that,” Dick said. Neither Bruce nor Jason seemed surprised to see him; it wasn't like he was trying to be sneaky.

“Lie back down,” Bruce replied.

“Yeah, that's not gonna work,” Jason said.

“Let's be honest here,” Dick said. “Alf's gonna have me glued to bed as soon as I get to the Batcave. He will probably drug me. I need to sort a few things out with Tiger, preferably one-on-one and before I'm high on pain meds.”

“We are morally obligated to respect the injured guy's wishes, you know.” Jason patted Bruce's shoulder and joined Dick in the doorway. “I'll help you get down there if you're sure you're up to it.”

“I have a limited window of time. So quit asking questions and help me already.”

Jason bent down and let Dick put an arm over his shoulders. “Of course, your majesty.”

Tiger had found himself a quiet spot near a window that gave him the best view of the gravel road leading away from the building. He wanted more than anything to leave this place, but the best he could do until then was find a few moments to himself. The gun felt heavy in his hand as he leaned against the wall, letting his arm hang loosely by his side, barrel pointed towards the floor. He wanted to throw it. He had to keep reminding himself that was a bad idea. He had no idea how Dick threw loaded guns without accidentally shooting himself, but he certainly wasn't about to attempt it. No matter how much he wanted it gone.

It was worrying to think that, only a few months ago, he had been so determined to find Alia and eliminate the threat she posed. The memory felt like it belonged to a different person. He was never going to enjoy her death, but the man he once had been would have shed a few tears for her and then moved on, confident in the knowledge that he had done what was necessary.

Now, it seemed he questioned everything, even the things no one else struggled with. Dick and Helena had been so doggedly determined throughout this past week, even as Tiger wavered. He had once been so confident in his actions. The man he was now couldn't have spent years infiltrating a rival spy organisation, doing everything necessary to climb the ranks and become entrusted with the kind of information he needed to keep Spyral from threatening the world.

The past few months had been difficult enough. This past week, even more so. He still hated himself for bringing Dick into this. They didn't know about that machine, or that Daedalus had taken over Alia's body, but he couldn't stop thinking he never should have even considered involving him. Helena thought Dick had provided a useful distraction for Bannon so she could search for intel, but was that really worth it?

That torture machine caused lasting medical problems. Dick could never be the same again. And it was Tiger's fault for being so weak, so desperate to have Dick close while he and Helena pulled the scraps of Spyral apart.

If this wasn't the end of Spyral now that Daedalus was gone (hopefully), then everything Dick went through would have been pointless. At least if they managed to destroy Spyral, some good would have come out of Dick's suffering. Even if he didn't think it was truly worth it.

“Hey, handsome.”

Tiger flinched more than he would have liked, jerking his head to find Dick approaching him slowly, mouth stretched in a thin smile that did not hide his pain as much as he probably hoped it did. Jason watched them from the nearest doorway before he shrank away.

Dick leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the window. Poor visibility there, but it wasn't like Dick was in any condition to do much anyway.

“You should be resting,” Tiger said, quashing a surge of annoyance that Dick was pushing himself now that his fight was over.

“Tim and Babs are taking us and Gloria back to Gotham soon,” Dick said, evidently ignoring what Tiger had said. “I wanted some one-on-one time while I'm still mostly coherent, because you bet Alfred's gonna drug me six ways from Sunday.”

“What does that even mean?”

Dick shrugged. “Idiom. Doesn't matter. The point is, I wanna take advantage of my brief burst of lucidity before either pain or drugs take my brain for a ride.”

Tired, shaking, in visible pain and Dick was still playing with the English language in ways that should have been illegal. So he really was quite coherent.

Tiger gestured vaguely to the window. “I am working.”

“Yeah, you looked so focused with the way you were glaring at the floor.”

Tiger came perilously close to snapping at him. He took a deep breath and tried to blow all his misplaced frustration out on the exhalation.

“There is a lot on my mind,” he admitted.

Dick rested his head against the wall, his face twisting for the barest of moments before he smoothed it out again. “We couldn't have anticipated things would go like this.”

Tiger had a sudden urge to deny he was thinking about that, purely out of frustration that Dick had so easily dug into his thoughts. The man was supposed to be resting, but he was on his feet with Tiger, thinking about him rather than his own health. That was infuriating. Even more infuriating was the fact he just knew Dick wouldn't listen if he tried to tell him to worry about himself.

“It is our job to anticipate as many worst-case scenarios as possible,” Tiger muttered.

“So, you're telling me we should've anticipated the existence of a mysterious torture machine that isn't supposed to exist, and that a murderous ghost dude we thought was gone was just gonna show up in the body of your ex-partner?”

The absurdity of this whole situation was beginning to give Tiger a headache of his own.

“I'm sorry about Alia,” Dick said quietly.

“I'm the one who—”

“Shh!”

Something else Tiger was not happy about. They were lying for him. He helped kill Alia and they were hiding it so Bruce wouldn't have cause to throw Tiger to the wolves, even if he deserved it.

“Look,” Dick said, “we can't talk about everything right now. But we will. This is the best thing for everyone, okay? Please trust us.”

Tiger didn't want to leave Dick again. He had to hold onto that. They had spent more than enough time apart. Thinking about it left a sick feeling in Tiger's stomach that he did not want to examine.

“I don't like it,” Tiger admitted. “But it is done. I have no choice.”

Dick sighed, and his calm mask slipped just enough to betray the utter exhaustion lying underneath. “Okay. I can work with that.” He smiled weakly. “I love you.” He reached for Tiger's hand. “Come on. We're leaving soon. I also might need help walking. I mean, despite my rugged good looks, I'm actually wiped right now.”

“Yes. I definitely had not noticed that.”

Jason stepped out from wherever he'd been hiding, holding out his hand. Tiger passed him the gun, pushing down the immense relief he felt now that he no longer had to carry it.

“Get back to rendezvous,” Jason said. “I'll take it from here.”

Barbara took Gloria to a Wayne family friend for medical treatment while Tim took Tiger and Dick to the batcave. Alfred had already prepared a bed in the med bay. Tim helped Tiger get Dick sitting on it before heading out to work on the computer.

“You can remain for a moment,” Alfred said to Tiger, reaching for a tiny flashlight. Tiger crammed himself into a corner, arms crossed, hoping that would be enough to stay out of the way when all he wanted to do was curl up around Dick and go to sleep with him.

“Light hurts,” Dick said quietly. He listed in the seat a little and Tiger expected him to fall. He caught himself, but it took him a while to straighten up properly.

“I am sorry, sir. I need to check your eyes.”

Dick sighed. “Fine.”

Alfred shone the flashlight into each of Dick's eyes while Dick dug his fingernails into the leather gurney and visibly tried not to flinch.

“Hm.” Alfred tapped a note into the computer nearby. “You have unequal pupil dilation, sir. We'll need to isolate the cause.”

“Did Tim send you any data?” Tiger asked. “Dick was subjected to a machine that causes long-term medical problems.”

Alfred clicked around. “Ah. Here we are.”

Dick was swaying a little again. Tiger gave into the urge to steady him. Dick rested his head on Tiger's supporting arm. He leaned more heavily against him with every passing moment Alfred spent reading the files Tim had sent him.

Dick mumbled something that Tiger couldn't understand. He tried again:

“Idonfeelright.”

“You don't feel right?”

Dick nodded weakly.

Alfred stepped away from the computer. “Let's get you lying down, sir. We can do a preliminary brain scan here, but we may need to commandeer a hospital's equipment for an in-depth diagnosis.”

Dick tried for a smile, but only one half of his face cooperated. Tiger's blood turned to ice.

No. No, no, no.

Did they even have the resources to treat a stroke?

Tiger and Alfred got Dick lying down. Dick was too weak to offer assistance. His right side seemed unwilling to cooperate.

Dick shut his eyes, face only half-twisting with apparent discomfort. He didn't try speaking again.

“I can take it from here, Master Tiger,” Alfred said, pulling a machine from the ceiling that hid the cave from view. The machine was a huge white arm with a box on the end that had a half-cylindrical piece cut from it. Tiger had never seen such a machine before and had a sneaking suspicion it was not a standard piece of medical equipment used in hospitals that had entire rooms for brain-scanning equipment.

“Are you sure? I can... hold things.” Tiger absolutely did not want to leave Dick in this condition. If this really was a stroke, it could be fatal. He wanted to punch himself for not insisting they get Dick medical attention sooner. He hadn't seemed in immediate danger. If that decision killed the man he loved...

“I'm sure.” Alfred pressed buttons on some kind of box machine that started a whirring in the arm-end. “There are snacks in the kitchen. Eat something. Rest if you can.”

Dick held out his good left hand, giving Tiger's a squeeze before pulling away. Tiger got the message. This was up to Dick and Alfred now.

“It may not be a stroke, sir,” Alfred said as Tiger forced himself to back away. “There are other medical conditions that cause similar symptoms. Do not panic.”

Tiger didn't have it in him to speak. He swallowed around the lump quickly forming in his throat, nodded curtly, and stepped outside. He shut the door behind him, leaning against it.

He was panicking. Definitely panicking. Dick could be having a stroke. Dick could be dying and there was nothing he could do about it.

“How is he?” Tim called from across the cave. Tiger took a few quick breaths—shallower than he wanted—and joined him at the computer. Tim shoved out a wheeled stool for him.

“We don't know yet,” Tiger said, slumping onto the seat. Talking hurt. Thinking hurt. “Fatigue. Unequal pupil dilation. Speech difficulties. Weakness on one side of the body.”

Tim had changed out of his uniform into civvies—a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants that looked older than Damian. A pair of glasses was set on his nose as he squinted at the data flitting across the computer screen.

“Okay, so, I think we both know the obvious possibilty,” Tim said, with an even tone Tiger envied. “If it's a stroke, we'll deal with it. People survive strokes all the time. It could also be something else. Some migraines do that.” Tim pushed his glasses further up his nose with a finger, offering Tiger a serious look that was somehow reassuring in the fact he wasn't trying to feign a lack of concern. Tim was as calm as possible without being in denial. Tiger appreciated that.

“I didn't take you for an optimist.”

“I'm not.” Tim refocused on the screen, tapping the keys every so often. Tiger had no idea what he was doing. “Listen. I get migraines sometimes. Not the type Dick might have, but I did plenty of research on the various types when trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me. Bruce benched me for a bit when they got bad, but I got medication and function pretty well most of the time now. Whatever is happening with Dick, we'll handle it. We always do.”

“You still sound like an optimist.”

“In this family, it's more like stubbornness. Examine all the options, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. It's all you can do sometimes.”

There was something soothing in listening to Tim talk like this. They'd never spent as much time together as some of the others, but Tiger had always liked him. Matter-of-factness was more comforting than empty platitudes.

Of course, that didn't mean Tiger was going to stop panicking. His heart pounded something terrible and his throat hurt. He was also probably shaking but didn't want to check his hands to make sure.

Tim let Tiger sit there while he worked. Tiger wanted to pace around and probably throw things, but that would require energy he did not have. One part of him longed for sleep. The rest of him was too restless to even consider it until he knew whether Dick was going to be okay.

They'd been through so much. Dick had been through so much. He couldn't lose him now. What would he even do if Dick died tonight? Tiger had dragged out every ounce of strength he had and shoved it into getting them home safely. He had nothing left. He couldn't take one more piece of bad news. Not tonight. Possibly not ever.

Tiger didn't know how long he sat there, before a roaring sound echoed through the cave.

“That'll be the fam,” Tim said, swivelling in his chair. They watched the batmobile and a fleet of motorcycles roll in from the deeper recesses of the cave and park on a wide platform that held a few other vehicles in various states of disrepair.

Bruce and Damian hopped out of the car. Jason and the girls swung themselves off motorbikes. By the time they reached Tim and Tiger, cowls and masks had been discarded and other various accessories—mainly gloves—were in the process of doing the same.

“Snacks are upstairs,” Tim told the group, who all headed for the stairs except for Bruce.

“Report,” Bruce said. His hair was moulded to his head with sweat.

“Gloria has a concussion,” Tim replied. “Barbara's keeping an eye on her at one of our safehouses tonight. If there are no complications, Helena will get her home tomorrow.”

“And Dick?”

“We don't know yet.” Tim paused for a moment, face grim. “There have been some... complications. Alfred hasn't given any updates so far.”

“What kind of complications?”

“Fatigue, speech difficulties, weakness in one side of the body.” Tim listed the symptoms without inflection. Tiger could feel a swell of anxiety rise in the boy next to him, before he beat it back. “We don't know the cause yet.”

Tiger was grateful no one had tried speaking to him. He wasn't sure what would come out of his mouth. Sobbing, most likely.

Bruce sighed, unlatching his cape from the rest of his uniform. “He's strong. If anyone can survive this, it's him.” There was something about his voice that almost made that sound believable.

Tiger bit his own finger to stop himself from bursting into tears.

Jason came back down the stairs. “If you three want anything to eat, you better get up here now.”

Tiger's stomach felt like knives. Eating was the last thing on his mind. Maybe he could drink some water and try to take his mind off Dick for a moment. That second thing was unlikely but at least he could try.

Bruce stayed downstairs to update computer files based on intel received from Spyral, but Tim and Tiger both followed Jason into the manor.

The rest of the family was standing around the kitchen benches, munching on sandwiches and cookies and fruit and a vegetable platter. Jason shoved Tiger towards the food, so he grabbed a tiny stick of celery. Celery was close enough to water that maybe he wouldn't feel sick eating it.

Cass offered him a reassuring pat on the arm, but mercifully did not attempt to hug him. Embarrassed that she had read him so well, but relieved that she could, he gave her a nod. Smiling was beyond him in that moment.

Tim told the group about Dick's condition. Possibly because they were tired after a long night, everyone quietly absorbed the information and kept eating. Tiger was also grateful for that. He was barely holding together. He did not need sympathy. He kept his gaze on the counter so he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone.

Tiger ate his celery as slowly as possible, but there came a point where to continue gnawing on a piece the size of his thumbnail would stick out as particularly ridiculous. Jason shoved a glass of water into his hand instead.

Most of them were still wearing their earpieces. Bruce's voice crackled to life in Tiger's ear.

“I have an update from Alfred,” he said. “No blood clot in the brain. Dick is not having a stroke. He is in severe pain, so it would appear that he has a particular type of migraine.”

The room collectively exhaled. Stephanie quickly passed the information to Damian, who was the only person not still wearing his earpiece. The group gradually began to trickle out for showers and bed. Tiger stayed put, sipping his water slowly. If he made any sudden moves, he definitely would start crying.

Jason stayed with him. “You'll be pleased to know Helena blew up the place, with a few extra explosives in that torture machine for good measure once she'd extracted all the data from it. She's hanging out in Gotham until Gloria's up to travelling. Don't know what she plans after that.”

Tiger shrugged. Helena had been tight-lipped about what she wanted once Spyral was no longer a threat. St Hadrian's still existed. It was a school as well as a headquarters. Perhaps Helena could shut the school down or replace all the staff and change it into something less espionage-oriented. Tiger didn't much care at this point.

“You've totally got a right to freak out, you know.” Jason leaned against the counter, ducking his head into Tiger's line of sight. “You've been through a lot.”

“I'll consider it once I've seen Dick,” Tiger said, draining the last of his water. He wasn't sure when Dick would be well enough for visitors. Migraines could last hours. He didn't want to make it harder on him just to satisfy his own anxiety.

His earpiece crackled and Alfred's voice floated in. “Master Tiger, do you have a moment?”

Tiger's heart jittered in his chest, which was simply ridiculous. This was not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe Dick was feeling better.

“Yes?” Tiger managed to keep his voice relatively even, but Jason still gave him a look.

“Master Dick is asking for you.”

“Is he well enough?”

“No, but he insists.”

Tiger felt a surge of warmth, tempered by frustration. Happy that Dick wanted to see him, but not so happy he was going to make himself feel worse just to have a few moments with him.

“I'm on my way,” Tiger said.

“What's up?” Jason asked.

“Dick is in no condition for visitors,” Tiger replied, rinsing his glass out in the sink. “But he wants to see me anyway.”

“Classic Dick.” Jason waved him on. “Go forth, my friend.”

“Never speak like that again.”

Jason snickered, shoving Tiger towards the door. “Get outta here.”

Tiger headed back to the batcave. Bruce was still working on the computer, but a sandwich had appeared beside him. Either Alfred was, in fact, a superhero who could be in two places at once, or someone else had brought it to him.

Alfred was waiting outside the door to the med bay. He beckoned Tiger over and said, in a low voice, “He is sensitive to light and sound, sir. Be careful.”

“I'll be quiet.”

“Only a few minutes. Then he needs to rest.” Alfred opened the door, waiting in the doorway while Tiger crossed to the bed in the middle of the med bay.

Dick was laid up on his back, a dark sleeping mask over his eyes. Alfred had covered him with soft blankets with a damp towel on his forehead.

The fingers on Dick's right hand twitched a little. “Tiger?” His face pinched with pain best it could, his right side moving the tiniest amount. The paralysis didn't seem has complete as it had before, but it was still there.

Tiger gently took his hand, running his thumb over Dick's knuckles. He wasn't entirely sure how much Dick could feel, but apparently it was enough. Dick let out a breath and sank a little into the pillow. He was still holding himself tightly, tensing every so often.

Dick squeezed his hand. There was no strength in it. Tiger brushed his lips against his knuckles and Dick managed a small smile.

Alfred put his hand on Tiger's shoulder, nodding towards the door. Tiger gave Dick's hand one more kiss and gently laid it back down, stroking his knuckles as he worked up the willpower to leave.

Then he left Dick to rest, hoping the pain would be gone by the morning.

#dicktiger #homecoming dicktiger fic #dick grayson #tiger king of kandahar #fanfiction #my fics

[midnightiscoming-kasabian]

New/Old interview with Ian (November 2016) _______________

Mike Dolbear DRUMS | Interview with Ian Matthews - Kasabian

“Rock compares to jazz like killing someone with a baseball bat vs. putting a pillow over their mouth”. Ian Matthews has both ways down like few others.

Coming from a jazz background he swapped the thin sticks for some proper wood and has been the power house behind British Indie Rock band Kasabian for the last 13 years.

2015 has also seen Ian seeking out new adventures joining a team surrounding master drum builder Keith Keough launching the brand new British Drum Company.

I caught up with Ian after his performance at the London Drum Show to chat about his musical upbringing, Kasabian and his new venture into the drum building business.

[x]

You started at the age of four after your babysitter taught you your first beats?

Yes, my babysitter (now passed away) was one of my dads mates and a long standing friend of the family. He would come to babysit me and bring me drum sticks when I was about two. I still remember ‘Mama - Dada - Mama - Dada’. His dad had an amazing red sparkle drum kit which I always loved. I think that’s where the seeds were sown.

My dad being a pianist wanted me to play the piano too but he realised that I wasn’t interested. So when I was four he tried to find a teacher who would teach somebody so young. There was a guy who lived just around the corner in Bristol called Mike Holmwood who was playing as a session player at the time for a band called The Brotherhood of Men. He had me come round the house, stick on some Cowboys and Indians or whatever was on the telly on a Saturday morning, gave me some milk and biscuits; take me up to the drum room for ten minutes to teach me some stuff; then back down for some more Cowboys and Indians; then back up for another ten minutes and so on... He did that for several years and taught me how to play brushes, jazz independence, how to read and all that. He got me to a point where when I was seven years old my dad turned around to me as he was packing his organ in the back of the car and went: ''Son, you’re coming with me''. The drummer for his social club gig was ill so I filled in. I went to do the gig with him and got £5. From that point I was hooked.

This guy Mike used to tell me about playing with confidence and feel. It was something I didn’t quite understand then but he sowed those seeds in my head. I’m making music for the sake of how I’m doing it as opposed to what I’m doing and I’ve got on as a drummer from the age of 19/20 as a drummer by going into from that direction.

Was it a conscious decision for you to make drumming your career or did it just happen?

I went through school still doing all these gigs with my dad and then joined a Bristol drum corps called The Troopers when I was ten. I don’t think we were a very good drum corp; we rehearsed twice a week and we also came last in the championships, but it taught me how to play with others and we used to race each other on rudiments trying to become the lead drummer.

I also did some school orchestras and in the band of the Avon and Somerset fire brigade learning to play with a wind band, playing military type stuff and lots of reading. I also did wedding gigs and jazz gigs, so I was always involved with music through school.

Even my drum teacher at the time, Eddy Clayton, used to dep me out for his gigs so I was playing in the pubs of Bristol when I was 13. Props to all these middle aged jazzers letting a 13 year old boy sit in and count them in.

I left school and had some crappy jobs which all weren’t really well paid and I just realised I could make nearly enough doing a couple of function gigs on the weekend. So I decided I would like to just sit at home and have to do nothing else but just play the drums and see if I can live of that. So I did.

You once made this beautiful comparison between rock and jazz being like “killing someone with a baseball bat vs. putting a pillow over their mouth”.

[laughs] Yes, this was kind of a half joke between me and a friend of mine who’s a jazz violinist. I’ve done jazz gigs with him and it’s so different than going on stage for a hundred thousand people driving a drum kit through the stage. That’s why we came up with that. To me, brewing on a ride cymbal at mid- to up- tempo, or even a slow brush thing, the inner me is trying to bring as much intensity to that musical moment of a whisper as I would at a yell.

You’re left-handed but you set up your drum kit right-handed?

I had this question a lot during my time as a teacher. You find people have left/right issues with their bodies. For me, I’m left-handed writing but my natural instinct is to kick a ball with my right foot, so my right foot was always gonna be my kick drum foot. Also, I was just put on a traditional drum set by my first teacher. I can’t even remember if he made me play like this or if I just naturally did it because I as a kid I watched all these drummers on our little black and white TV making their drums shake, guys with massive bangs of hair and huge sideburns. Maybe that’s where it came from. I’m not against playing lefty but it’s just the way it rolled. The right foot thing though was important for me.

Let’s talk about Kasabian.

I had a teacher who indicated to me that if I wanna get on the scene I needed to make sure to make friends and connect to as many engineers as possible. That’s where you meet the musicians who are doing stuff and where you get a call of people who need a drummer. These are the guys who are active, not the getting stoned in a bedsit dreaming about being a rock star.

I had red light fever and every time the recording button got pressed I would jam up. I tried getting as much training as possible, whether it was paid or not.

Mat, a friend of a friend, ran a studio called Big Bonk and I used to go there and record for free on his projects and in return he would throw me some work. Sometimes there was 50 or 100 quid in it. Kasabian from Leicester were coming down. They got some development money from their manager to spend on a drummer and Mat recommended me.

The day before the recording I fell down the stairs, sprained my right ankle badly and was inches from picking up the phone to cancel because I couldn’t walk. I still did it. I limped down to his basement, the boys looked at me and I went: ''I’m your drummer for the day''. That’s when I first met them. I did the session in pain you wouldn’t believe, they were blown away it seems and I did a couple of sessions with them after that.

They got signed the year after in 2002 but I couldn’t really get involved because I was doing enough stuff already. I was working with a guy signed to Virgin, another artist signed to Real World and was going to Paris a lot doing some African crossover stuff replacing Manu Katche in a band.

During that time the guys were sharing a farm up in Leicester working on their record. We lost contact a little through 2003 and later that year they started getting on the road playing the Dog & Duck here, the Dog & Duck there, driving up and down the motorways in a Mini Metro and an Austin Maestro.

In 2004 the manager called me in a panic saying they needed a drummer next week and they wanted me. It was Easter holidays so I went in and we tore it up for two weeks. After that the manager said: “Do you want to come and work with us? I can hire you and we have enough money to replace your teaching and feed your family. Come with us for 18 months.” I went for it and it was amazing. In fact they made me a band member in 2005 - so it’s kind of a gradient in membership. I wasn’t just parachuted into a famous band. I proved myself, we proved ourselves and together we made it all possible. I met them 15 years ago and it’s all been developing ever since.

There’s a bit of a time off for the band at the moment?

Yes, we last seriously toured in 2014 when we headlined Glastonbury. That was a big gig. That whole year was really dense.

Then 2015 we just did about 15 or 20 festivals mostly in eastern Europe, we also went to Brazil and did the Lollapalooza tour of Latin America taking in Chile, Peru, Colombia and Argentina. Then come the end of August we decided we’re on our sixth album, we need to give us some time off. We also wanted to give the public some time off and not just bring out another album and go back out on tour.

This coincided with Keith inviting me to become partner in the British Drum Company.

2016 was quiet apart from May where Leicester, Kasabians favourite team, won the Premiership in the most dramatic way ever and we played their victory parade in front of 150,000 people in Victoria Park. In my down time I did some jazz gigs, some funk gigs, a little bit of session work here and there, the drum company and my family. I’m not pursuing a project because by the time it gets going Kasabian will be back out.

Let’s talk about the British Drum Company for a bit.

So Keith is a guy I met a few years ago at the Scottish Drum Fare and we got on like a house on fire straight away, it’s like Bro-Love. We stayed in contact every since and every time I was in Manchester we met up for a drink, some food or he came to see a gig - we just became mates and we would trade on each other on our perspectives on drum maker vs. drum player. I always knew I wanted to work with but he was with Premier and I was with DW so we just didn’t have the situation.

It came to that he left Premier and Al Murray convinced him to keep on building drums, so the two of them started collecting partners. Stu Warmington does our marching devision, Alan Kitching is our product designer and there is me, which is flippin’ amazing. Keith literally just turned around to me at V-Fest, the last gig of our tour and went: “You’re up for this then mate?”. And I just went: Wow! Fuck yeah!

It must be something like a little boys dream to be involved in building your own kits. Is there any limit to what you can do or can you just try anything?

Mate, it’s incredible! Keith is the genius and what the rest of us do around Keith is to steer his genius in the right way. We’re like a band. We’re flying very quickly, we’ve only just gone a year and already everybody is going: oh yeah, British Drum Company. People are intrigued still  but we all came together because we’re all senior in what we do somehow. We’re not ‘having a go’ or just investing in a business and try go get people in to run it who are not that emotionally into it. We’re five partners who came together to create something magic that we’re proud of and I think it’s working.

I think it has taking people by a bit of a shock that a little Manchester workshop can create a drum kit which sounds f**king unreal.

I had that moment when I left DW, who I was very loyal to, and turned up to London Drum Show last year [the official launch of British Drum Company]. I got up in the lift, got to the booth, drums all over the floor, the boys all red-eyed because they’d been up all night to finish the last drum kit and you could still smell the solvent. Keith gave me a drum key, put me on this 24” kick drum kit and told me to tune it up. I took a deep breath: Right, this is the moment, let’s see what I’ve done. I hit the drum and I tell you now: the adrenaline that went through me when I realised I’d done the right thing was incredible. We set the whole thing up, I played it and my first words when I turned to Keith were: ''I’ll take this kit on a stadium tour tomorrow. I’ll never forget that moment''.

I’m catching you just after your masterclass in the Mike Dolbear room here at the London Drum Show. How does this compare to being on stage with a band?

Well, I’m coming here to a full room of people and I have Ash Soan, Karl Brazil, Mark Richardson, Cherisse Osei and Tina from Zildjian out there who all came to see me. Bloody hell! I’m nervous of those situations but it’s not the playing, it’s the talking. Am I actually gonna manage to entertain these people and give them something?

When it comes to playing music I’ve been doing it long enough. The intense acceleration of Kasabians career happened in the mid noughties - especially when Fire came out. Suddenly we started headlining all these festivals. I remember being at T in the Park and looking at this enormous stage, there was Channel 4, T4 cameras everywhere, celebrities hanging about and 60,000 people out the front and I shit myself! I had my moment of ‘Wow’ and had to talk myself down of it. I told myself: I’m only here because the boys want me here and the way I play. I can’t change the way I play that’s just the way it is. We are only here because the people out there want us there. We can’t change the way we play, that’s the way we do it. So if we only go on stage and play the way we play and not be scared of that, then happy days surely! We spent hours together in dressing rooms and tour buses talking about these issues, Tom just always went: ''You have nothing to prove''.

So I think those other drummers can think what they like, we’re all mates. I could have a bad one today and wouldn’t give a sh*t. I’m only human.

I know that I’ve made 100,000 people jump at the same time in a field so there is something about my humble basic beats that works. That’s me being arrogant of course but if we get into the psychology of it... and maybe there are some readers out there who might have to read that. It’s like sports psychology.

Finally, what’s next?

The company is keeping me busy pretty good. We’re doing most of it via social media so my phone is just going ‘bing’ all the bloody time.

In the meantime, the weather is changing for Kasabian, we’re gonna be brewing up. The new record is in completion I think and for all you Kasabian fan readers, there’s gonna be something special coming your way.

That’s the good thing though: if I do go out back on tour with Kasabian this year, I’ll still be helping to manage the company.

I feel very lucky at the moment.

Thanks a lot for your time Ian!

Interview -Tobias Miorin

Photos - Francesco DesMaele

www.mikedolbear.co.uk

#Kasabian #ian matthews #london drum show 2016 #interviews

[cheerstocrazy]

Wahh

I’ve been feeling so sad lately bc I’m about to start my period, and last week I was nostalgic as hell for past memories. I’ve only been listening to Don’t Take the Money (unplugged version), Good Guy, and 89 (Bon Iver). It sucks to feel this way. Anyway, I think last week’s nostalgia was triggered by watching The Beauty Inside with Mary and Matthew. The date was just so sweet and intimate, and ugh I just wanted something like that in real life. So I thought back to my date right before I left to NYC, and how nice it was to be with someone so down-to-earth and upfront about his intentions. Someone who understood what I was going through and could recite my feelings back to me. I felt so seen (in the best way). I can’t believe he told me, “Why’d you agree to meet me before leaving? You’re at your most vulnerable right now? So anything is fair game, right?” I was still trying to process all my emotions that week so for him to realize I was at my most vulnerable made me feel transparent and like someone actually understood my current emotions. I was so taken aback that he was able to read me. Now that I’m home and don’t have much going on -- I think back to that night. It was a perfect date/night/finale before leaving. He was just such a good guy, I wish we could’ve stayed friends afterward, but I don’t blame him for not maintaining contact. I mean no one can really put their life on hold and wait for something that’s not even a guarantee. I just felt like the rest of the world ceased to exist that night and time stopped momentarily just for us. We didn’t skip a beat and he was just so curious and he spoke 3 languages (!!!!!!!) and was legitimately woke (!!!!) I remember us sitting at the taco place all by ourselves in the corner with our kind of strange seating arrangement. Eating messily and just chatting about random things like 2 people who had known each other a while. I think me leaving made us more uninhibited and allowed for us to really enjoy the 1 night we had. I wish it didn’t have to end, I really enjoyed how kind he was and sociable. Just an all around really great human. Any girl would be lucky to have him as a friend, let alone a boyfriend. I’m sure all his invitations and effusiveness were said out of hopefulness that this would continue when I got back. I wish what he said was true. He was so well-spoken and deliberate, which I really appreciate in a human, and it’s so rare to find that in a 20 something year old - especially a software engineer!! Ugh, I’m going to cry. Anyway, that was one of my favorite nights of this year, I’ll never forget it. It was the best date I’ve ever been on, and it came at a very strange time in my life. After the Snap guy and the Dr., I just realized that good guys who understand and vibe with me will be incredibly hard to come by.  My favorite moments of 2017: 1. Date with the Israeli guy before leaving to NY 2. (Best/Worst) Nice at Hair in the Dog where I threw up my intestines - the entire day. From eating Japanese food, walking through Brooklyn, finding that wicked cool bar with awesome views. Eating that bomb burger at the South American inspired place with arepas. Waiting in the Sbux to kill time and for a respite. Walking around Brooklyn lost trying to find a club. Going back to the weird bar in LES and being pestered by the Asians. Getting free drinks, ducking to escape them. Eventually running in the rain to Hair of the Dog. Stumbling upon Andrew (hot guy) who just took us into the group and bought us drinks. Dancing with Orr’s friend then him, the hand job (lol). Being piss drunk, then not knowing what happened the rest of the night.  3. Salt Flat weekend with the Brazilians. Will be one of my favorite weekends of life. They were the sweetest and funniest guys ever, I cannot believe I found them. I remember seeing them at the bus station in Potosi and thinking omg, one of them is kinna fat and if he lost some weight, he’d be skinnier. I saw they were eating hot dogs and a bag of chips. Just laughed to realize they were my roommates.  4. The jam sessions and dinner in Cusco.  5. Coachella weekend: Bon Iver, Justice, Porteon, Jai Wolf. Having Julian take care of my the entire set and just swaying with me and keeping me afloat. That was absolute euphoria and a nightmare for me.  *Bon Iver ft Francis - Friends (MY FAVORITE CONCERT MOMENT EVER!) 6. The bar by PP’s apt with the fucking disgusting couple making out for 3 hours. Camaraderie is everyone in the bar clapping, snapchatting, heckling that couple.  7. San Pedro de Atacama - absolutely everything in that desert took my breath away 8. FWB Dr. those 2 weeks were pretty fun to have someone on speed dial to hang out with 9. The marathon 15 hour workday with Kathy and Daniel when we were delirious and literally just putting binders together for 5 hours.  10. Going out with the Chileans to Ex-Fabrica, the taking photos snafu lmao 11. Hanging out with Tiare on my last night in Chile. That was so fun to get day drunk and just eat and walk around.  12. WATCHING THE KILLERS FROM THE ROOFTOP IN AUSTIN!!!!! ZOMG WTF!!! 13. Gorillaz set!!! at ACL 14. I think I ran a 7+ miler this year.... 15. The Huaraz hike, sinking into the mud, standing around each night to joke around with people.  16. The entire day at Machu Picchu which WAS TOTALLY SURREAL AND MEETING THAT GROUP OF PERUVIANS!! AND THE SHORT LIL MAN WHO LOVED ME.  17. Barranco!!!! I love that neighborhood so much!!  18. Going off-roading in Sedona with the random Canadian couple we met.  19. My cute as hell South African roommate!! Eek I loved him so much 20. Hiking Montana de Siete Colores 21. Staying with the cutest Peruvian family in Ica. MY HEART, I LOVED THEM. 

Best songs of the year: 1. Francis and the Lights - May I Have This Dance?  2. Rhys - Swallow Your Pride 3. Frank Ocean - Good Guy/White Ferrari 4. Bleachers - Don’t Take the Money 5. Banks - Crowded Places  6. Mura Masa - What’s It Gonna B? 7. Haim - You Never Knew 8. Lorde - Supercut/The Louvre 9. Odesza - Corners of the Earth 10. Jai Wolf - Starlight 11. Kehlani - Do U Dirty Saddest Moments of the Year: 1. August 2nd - getting the call from Eastridge to notify me that I’d been let go 2. March - Seeing Sal, getting anxious that entire weekend, having no appetite, just the lack of control I had over my body. Dealing with his texting. Getting my car towed. 3. My mother not talking to me for 8 months. That took a toll 4. Dealing with insurance for months on end to resolve nothing.  5. In Banos, Ecuador to have my parents sabotage me for the first time and tell me to come home. 6. Cusco, when my mother wouldn’t take a photo of my vaccinations to which I sobbed on the floor. 7. The endless professional shitting -- all the you’re going to get hired/promoted blah blah. Nope 8. June 13th - when Bryan told me he was leaving the company. My heart sunk.  Honorable Mentions:  1. Colombian straggler 2. Date with the tall ass weirdo who made me not date for 6 months afterwards lol 3. HEAVING AND PUFFING AND DYING AT LAGUNA 69 OMG KILL ME  This was such a hard year for me mentally, physically, emotionally. I’m looking back and even though I did have lots of good moments (due to my South America trip), it was mostly a year that tested me. I just felt like I got walked all over and was taken advantage of. I felt so small most of the year at work and like my value wasn’t realized. It was a lot of feeling hopeful only to get crushed immediately, which I guess is what life is. It was so taxing for me to be at work and just not progress professionally and getting lead on. I didn’t deserve that at all. My best couple of months came from me being laid off, so I guess there’s that silver lining? Boys wise, this year didnt’ work out too well, lots of ghosts coming back into my life and another unsuccessful year of dating. My mother and I didn’t speak to each other for most of the year, which was ridiculous. There was a really big life event this year, and I definitely needed her to be there for me, and she wasn’t. That’s a year we’ll never get back, and I can’t really talk about it without crying. She’s talking to me again, but you don’t get to shut me out of your life for 8 months with no valid reason to talk to me again like nothing happened. This isn’t how it works. I don’t think our relationship will be able to come back after that, especially post election. It was just a really hard time for me, and it would’ve been nice to have a maternal figure for venting. I guess that’s when your friends come in. I remember being in the jacuzzi talking to Tam, and she told me about what my mom said and how she felt while I was away and like her heart sunk. And I was like what about me??? I don’t even know why she’s upset. I just teared up, I couldn’t take it anymore. Especially after my trip, and coming back to reality. I just wanted to disappear for most of this year because I felt so insiginificant, and that’s why I ran off to South America. I wanted anonymity but under my call, not someone else making me feel invisible. All I wanted this year was to be seen and heard, and that rarely happened. This was such a hard year for me, I still can’t get over how difficult it’s been. At least I sleep a lot not and am not stressed out. I need to move.  2018 goal: MOVE OUT OF CALIFORNIA!!! 

[clubdecode-blog]

In the minutes before they took to the stage of Glasgow’s Garage, we spoke with liverpool 4 piece The Night Café! Read below as we talk Stange Clothes, their upcoming UK tour, supporting themselves and playing a weird venue in Sheffield.

Hey guys! What made you guys want to pursue a career in music? How did The Night Café come to be?

Josh: By accident.

Sean: Yeah by accident.

Carl: I think we all really wanted to make music like when we were growing up and stuff.

Sean: Yeah it’s always a dream to be in a band.

Carl: We’ve been in bands throughout school. Like not this exact band but we’ve been in bands before in school.

Sean: We’ve been in bands with each other yeah.

Carl: and that’s just how it came together really.

Josh: There he is!

Carl: And here’s Aaron, the latecomer.

Aaron: I know, sorry.

Sean: You’re ruining my funny vibe here.

Carl: Yeah I think it was just coming together to be honest, instead of making us wanna be like celebrities. We just really wanted to do it just to make music and like enjoy it.

Sean: I don’t really want the side to it that comes… like I hope it doesn’t come for us, I hope we are one of those bands that people just love the music and that’s it. You know what I mean.

You’ve recently released your single “Strange Clothes,” how do you feel about the reception it has received? 

Sean: It’s absolutely amazing!

Carl: It’s received a great reception! It went on a playlist the Friday!

Sean: Straight away!

Aaron: New Music Friday.

Carl: Yeah new music Friday and it’s got nearly 60,000 plays in over a week! Wait, just under a week sorry!

Sean: That’s the first time that’s happened for us as well.

Carl: It’s the first time. There’s been that much reception over the week to be honest, it’s normally like 20,000 then it rises with time. But it just seems to have gone up dead fast, we’re quite pleased about it like!

What was the writing process behind the single? Where did the inspiration come from?

Sean: To be honest, we had like a week or 2 where we were literally kinda smashing out random ideas and we made this song. And for like 2 months, we didn’t really like it that much and we just thought it was like your standard song. But then I think we spent a bit more time trying to-

Carl: Beef it up!

Sean: Perfect it yeah! We had to record a song didn’t we? For something I can’t remember! We got put on the spot to like record a song and it was in the studio where like-

Carl: It was very different to what it is!

Sean: Yeah like we wrote a bit more on it whilst we were actually in the studio. Like only little bits like backing vocals and stuff like that, but it made the song what it is now.

Cause from our point of view, it does sound very different from the other stuff you’ve released before! 

Carl: We sort of like crafted it instead of you know… we just wrote the song.

Sean: I think it’s how the maturity is coming through in that song, cause like all our other songs we kinda just make a tune.

Carl: Jam it out and then it’s done.

Sean: Jam it out and that’s it! But this one we spent a little time working on it.

Carl: Yeah it took a few months didn’t it? It took a few months to write but it’s there now, it’s getting the reception it should be!

Definitely! You are in the middle of a tour with Sundara Karma, how has it been so far?

Carl: It’s been fucking sick! It’s been a pleasant few days to be honest. I loved every second.

Sean: The legless tour as they say.

Josh: I actually haven’t been drunk once.

Sean: I have been sloshed every night.

Carl: Skished. Skished every night.

Aaron: This is our last night tonight though.

Aw is it?

Carl: Tonight’s our last night!

Josh: The supports are changing, like the other band that’s been doing all the dates with us finished yesterday.

Blaenavon? It broke my heart that they aren’t here today. 

Sean: Gorgeous lads them .

Carl: awww the lads.

Josh: Our guys.

Carl: We’re going on tour with them again!

You’re not on the Glasgow date though are you?

Carl: No we are only doing the down south dates though sadly. But we are coming back to Glasgow!

Sean: It’s cause I go on holiday, not because we didn’t want to do them! It’s because I had already booked going away.

Carl: We’re coming up to Glasgow on our tour!

Sean: Yeah we are!

That follows into the next question! What can fans expect from your headline tour in May?

Aaron: Ruthlessness

Carl: Yeah, some new material!

Josh: Frivolities.

Aaron: Good verb.

Carl: I didn’t even know that was a word mate.

Sean: I still don’t know what it means but it sounds right… I just think a lot of fun from our headline tour. I just think it’s gonna be hopefully a big step up from the first one. We are playing some of the same venues but like we’re playing some bigger ones.

Carl: Like we’ve moved up to Dingwalls in London. Which is like a proper sick venue to play and it’s only up from there then hopefully!

Sean: We played The Old Blue Last first and I think it’s up capacity by like 300 people.

Josh: That was like an 18+ venue though.

Carl: Yeah it sold out as well.

Josh: We can get that many people there and we can get all ages people as well.

Carl: With all ages I definitely think it should be ok.

Sean: All gigs should be all ages anyway.

Carl: They should… apart from babies.

Sean: Apart from babies.

Carl: You don’t want any babies mosh pitting around and all that.

What was a standout moment from 2016? 

Carl: T in the Park

Sean: Trump becoming president. That was a bit weird wasn’t it?

It’s hardly a standout moment! 

Sean: It’s like a standout moment in a bad way though.

Josh: That’s not a standout moment.

Carl: A standout moment for us was playing T in the Park in Scotland yeah.

Sean: Yeah that was boss but a standout moment for the band!

Carl: Yeah but we played the festival!

Josh: First sold out headline show and Birmingham was sold out as well.

What can fans expect from the next 6 months? 

Carl: A lot of new music, we’ve got an EP coming out in March. That’s the first EP then… before summer is it? Or in summer the second one coming out.

Aaron: Yeah, 2 EPs.

Carl: After that will be like that album then. That’ll be early on next year hopefully! If everything goes to plan.

So we’re going to do a quickfire round! What was the first gig you ever went to?

Josh: Busted.

Sean: very quick!

Carl: I don’t know… Do you know?

Sean: No but I don’t know the name of them but it’s whoever sang who let the dogs out! It was when I was on holiday.

Was it not like the Baha men or something like that?

Sean: Whoever that was, that was my first gig.

We’ll google it! (It was indeed the Baha Men) 

Carl: I went to see Biffy Clyro, that was my first ever gig in Manchester.

Aaron: I think The Wombats for me! Mental, yeah!

If you could have written any song ever what would it be?

Josh: A song called Desire by a band called The Cairos.

Carl: Yeah that’s it!

Sean: I’m gonna-

Aaron: Can we have the same answer?

Yeah if you want! 

Carl: I’ll probably say… nah I don’t know. I’ll probably say that one! Cause that is-

Sean: That’s our band favourite song at the moment. That is my favourite song ever.

Carl: If it weren’t that I would probably choose like-

Aaron: A Steely Dan song.

Carl: Yeah Steely Dan – Black Cow, that’s what I’d choose.

What is your dream support slot?

Carl: Eh, you know what…

They could be dead or alive. 

Josh: So we could watch us!

Sean: You know what yeah!

Josh: We never get to watch us! You know what I mean. Not from like a vain perspective, to see what we sound like to a crowd!

Sean: No but it would be interesting to see what we’re like!

That’s the first time we have ever had that! 

Josh: I would like to watch us and be like we need to change that! Like that’s not cool!

Carl: On stage, everything doesn’t sound like it does off stage! You only get what you need!

Sean: We have always said we wanted to watch ourselves and just see-

Josh: That sounds so vain.

Carl: It sounds bad, it sounds bad! But we don’t mean it!

Sean: It sounded vague so you need to elaborate when we-

Carl: It does sound vain but-

You want to improve yourselves! 

Sean: Yeah that’s it!

Carl: We want to do it so we can see what we can improve!

Describe The Night Café in 3 words?

Sean: The. Night. Cafe.

Carl: I would describe it as messy lads.

Aaron: But that’s 2 words!

Josh: Thick as thieves.

Carl: Messy lads club!

Aaron: Messy lads club?! We should say 4 words and have 1 word each.

Josh: Sickest band ever.

Carl: Go ahead! You start though!

Aaron: Sickest

Carl: men

Sean: I

Josh: know

Carl: The sickest men I know!

The weirdest or most interesting venue you’ve played?

Carl: Last night in eh-

Sean: NO! Weirdest!

Josh: Thekla?

Sean: The weirdest is when we were in Sheffield. And there was that bloody thing where there was pure pimp chains and that. Downstairs in the club. Remember? Pure like weird kinda sex fest.

Carl: I mean I loved it in there, it was great!

Aaron: That was the weirdest one yeah.

Carl: I thought you said the best venue!

Josh: The Plug it was called.

Carl: The plug! Where’s that?

Sean: Sheffield

Carl: Oh yeah! I remember that! That was years ago that!

Aaron: It was like… It was last year.

Carl: It was 2015!

Aaron: No it was like 5 months ago!

Your best festival or gig experience?

Aaron: Tame Impala in the Albert Hall, Manchester in 2013!

Carl: I would probably say Eminem at Leeds Festival cause I fucking love him.

Sean: When we went to see Kings of Leon. That was a really magic moment for me! It was in 2011!

Josh: I don’t know, I saw Roger Waters at Wembley. That was quite good but.

Your last question! What is your most embarrassing moment on stage? 

Carl: Aw we’ve all had them!

Aaron: When you dropped your stick!

Carl: I mean, we were playing a headline show in Nottingham and it got to like the last chorus of the first song. Stick flies out my hand and I had to stop playing.

Sean: Yeah we had to restart the song.

Carl: and I just had to go, I’m sorry about that!

Josh: Remember our gig at the picket

Carl: Yeah we had to restart the song. It was bad from the off.

Sean: Remember when my guitar went off?

Aaron: Oh shit yeah!

Sean: We were playing a gig and I had this guitar which is like… if 2 switches go off in a certain place the guitar goes off and I didn’t know that cause it was a brand new guitar! We were mid song and my guitar went off and I was kind of like fuming at the sound man. Then I just looked down and the switches were there and I had stopped singing and everything. It was embarrassing.

Well thank you guys! 

  INTERVIEW: Club Decode Meet @NightCafeband In the minutes before they took to the stage of Glasgow's Garage, we spoke with liverpool 4 piece…

#Club Decode meet #Strange Clothes #the night cafe