#literally so much goes on day to day that ppl dont realize

[forbiddennhoney]

):

#personal #ugh #not a day goes by where i dont think of her /: #we were such good friends /: #and like admittedly i needed to take space after all that i don't regret it #but i h8 that she prematurely apologized b4 even hearing my frustrations or why i was hurt #bc she apologized for what she THOUGHT i wanted to hear #and it sucks /: cause i really hope she's doing better #i hope shes ok #and i miss her #but i cannot bring myself to message her bc like...... #i just don't understand how you hear your friends say something shitty happened with someone ur involved with #and blow up at them and demand proof of it #like i dont care how stressed you are with other stuff .......... who does that?????? #nvm the fact that like. majority of the stress she had expressed to me then was literally about...... the ppl who did the fucked shit....... #idk. im just sad #she made me feel so seen and held and heard and we were just friends but like..... i cherished her so much ): #ALSO NVM THE FACT THE DAY BEFORE SHE DID THIS I LITERALLY TOLD HER (after talking to her abt smthn separate) tht #the only way we'd stop being friends is if she did LITERALLY exactly what she did #and yeah she sent it to my Wife's DMs #but honestly that makes it worse cause she knew i was there #nd treated my wife after all that like she was an evil meanie while she apologized to me #(which imo idc it reads and transmisogyny) #and she just like. up and left Everything b4 realizing she fucked up #like she did choose this #and im respecting that and respecting myself enough not to try running and begging her to be friends again #i just. idk man. it sucks

[vaugarde]

remember when people were swearing that mothpool was incest and awful because redtail was apparently sandstorm’s dad, something that was never portrayed in the books at all in any way, even when we got multiple spotlights on redtail and sandstorm after the erins said so, and in fact they retconned over that retcon so sandstorm has no canon parents and redtail never had a mate and kits.

and on top of that, the same people not saying a single word about bramblesquirrel even though they’re literally the same exact amount of related.... wonder what’s different about mothpool from bramblesquirrel. hm.

#im not saying incest is cool and fine but like. personally i dont get why ppl are so vigilant abt relations confirmed on twitter #especially when they include literal fucking siblings getting together and having kittens at certain points. #which iirc is something they took out thank god. but like even then ppl were defending it #actually. just realizing that all the gay ships are the ones that ppl try to pull this card on #some of it theyre right about. some of it just feels exhausting #i got told that hollycinder is incest and bad but i dont even think it is #and if its once again just redtail connection then well thats debunked so. #and even then. what about lioncinder. lion is holly's brother. wtf. #and i still see people to this day being like ''oh no its canon that redtail is sandstormsdad its so true so these gay ships suck'' #like. i get the concern i truly do but im not gonna lie. i do not give a shit what the erins say online #and like canonically so much creepy shit goes away if u take away the ''oh these tworandom bg characters had sandstorm'' thing #like ashfur being squirrelflights uncle. so again..... why are people so determined to believe its canon #echoed voice

[autisticgirliesbracket]

What makes Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Mabel-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Mabel in the top right corner, she is dancing. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"wears a different sweater every single day in SUMMER. also she's loud and very silly in situations where it might not be appropriate, says whatever's on her mind, struggles with change, retreats into her sweater and rocks back and forth when she's upset, doesn't always realize how her actions impact others, has high empathy and a hard time saying "no" because she doesn't want other people to be upset, etc etc"

"One of her main story arcs is resistance to change particularly when it comes to her being very attached to her brother. She is very social and friendly but is often "too loud" or generally misses social cues - also tends to spit out random information to people she is talking to. The friends she does make are people who thing her eccentric nature is charming! upon meeting a girl with a lizard and a girl who fashioned herself fork-hands she whispers "ive found my people". She hyperfocuses on things very often! Like the sock puppet episode where she spends days producing a puppet show, or her crush of the week, or a boyband. She if VERY much the "oh she isn't autistic lol, shes just girly" type of gal that people dismiss often because shes social so "she cant POSSIBLY be ND". when she is emotionally overhwelmed she "goes to sweater town" aka sinks into her sweater to remove sensory imput from the outside world. also she has trouble empathasing with people at times especially if it comes into conflict with something shes hyperfixating on and can often have trouble controlling emotional bursts as a result of those conflicts. she also adores being creative, colorful stuff, knitting. i frankly think shes is autistic AND had adhd. i love her to death and i think a lot of her conflicts in the show could be interpreted/understood in a way thats like "oh thats an undiagnosed autistic kid dealing with stuff". her relationship with her brother is also interesting cause i think both of them are autistic and have learned to support/help each other in a way other ppl dont understand"

"She has tendency to obsess over things (such as her crush of the week or her pet pig), and clearly enjoys the sensory stimulation of lots of bright colours and patterns, and strong, sweet flavours. Her social skills also leave a little to be desired, as she's often very forward, quite loud and overly enthusiastic. Mabel is also quite change averse, as well as averse to the idea of having to 'grow up' and act more mature, which becomes a running theme throughout the show, as she tries to hold onto her childhood."

"Constantly wearing sweaters even in summer (literally only ever takes one off on-screen when she's made fun of for wearing it, and even then she ties it around her waist instead of tossing it), immediately bonds with two girls who are weirdos (affectionate dw) who do things like tape forks to their fingers in order to eat popcorn without getting butter on their hands, obsessed w/ bright colors and the 80's aesthetic, loves to make weird noises, I could go on"

"She wears sweaters every day (different ones in different colors, same style). She’s sometimes easily distracted, but tends to hyperfocus on a goal once she has it. When she’s sad or scared she goes to “sweater town” (pulling her head, arms, and knees under her sweater)"

"Knitting is her special interest to the point that she has a different sweater every day. She purposefully makes friends with everyone, ignoring social cues. She stims a lot by doing jazz hands and big movements. When she's very upset, she rocks back and forth and hids in an oversized sweater. She takes promises very seriously and always tries to see the best in people. Last but certainly not least, she has a whole episode dedicated to how "weird" she is with the ultimate conclusion being that unconventional, out of the box thinking is good."

"I know everyone hcs her as ADHD but also LISTEN...she has so much autism to me. She has a special interest in crafting, she tends to let her emotions override logical thinking when she's passionate about something, she just means so much to me as a former weird girl and since I am also autistic, I love projecting <3 Also you know she makes her own sweaters 1) because it's fun but also 2) maybe she struggled to find sweaters that weren't bad texture-wise so she decided to take up sewing/crocheting and made all her own clothes with a special yarn after that."

"i am not autistic but all my autistic friends love her and say she has autistic girl swag"

"it's mabel. all of that family has autism in spades and she is no exception. look at her. look at sweater town. come on" End ID.]

#autistic girlies bracket #autistic girlie masterpost #gravity falls #mabel pines

[coderiderr]

9, 22 and 27 for you good friend!!

09. personal bias aside, who do you think is the best written character and why? 

regarding MCD oh katelyn absolutely no question. plot threads and arcs can get a little all over the place but katelyn has a consistent motiv/arc she follows through on s1-2 with her defection and everything, we love you katelyn <333 ugh queen

For mystreet well tbh. uhh. s1-3 zane is the only one who had a solid like. arc (?) about opening up and making friends. (not that he should be opening up to these ppl theyre all assholes to him lmfao) so much happens in mystreet and the quality, ranges. s1-3 was like a sitcom but then s4-6 were so much idk.

22. who's the character that you most identify with and why?

i dont think i identify with any of these guys honestly. theyre all very different from me,. mystreet liochant ig, bc he does nothing <3

27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?

OH THERES SOSOSSOSOSOS MUCH goign on mystreet concepts first uhm s4-6 i dont like ghost but her concept is so insane but the fucking execution but like she literally cant remember anything about her life other than the name zane & like love. which she interprets as oh he must be the love of my life or smthin so shes obsessed with him but extremely strongly implied (or outright confirmed id have to rewatch) this is the ghost of emmalyn from mcd and the reason she remembers zane is bc MCD zane literally killed her husband in front of her its so crazy. thinking the reincarnation of the guy who killed your soulmate is your one true love bc you cant remember why you know him AHHHHHHH

s1-3 mystreet im blankin on a lot of it. idk garroth repsect ur brothers boundries more or smthin </3 wish they leaned more into the hilarity of zane being part of the homeowners association. wwe only got the ep where he judges christmas decorations for a competition. ohhh wait they shouldve leaned more into zane being an outcast and why bc theyre kinda like hes a dick ig? even tho like. he reasonable defensive and shit bc the people around him are like. constantly making fun of him. i think he deserves to be a little bit of a dick.

MCD JUST LIKE>> TRAVIS IN GENERAL HIS CONCEPT GOES SO INSANE AND THEN THEY JUSARGHHH like his dad is the demon lord and he grew up solely with his mom and is extremely outcast at the village he protects FROM HIS DAD bc of his parentage and the dude literally spends all his time alone after his mother died he has so much compassion for people who hate him it goes so crazy. and hes so ashmed of his demon side im ahhhh. hes always lurking in ym brain

and dante and gene dante and gene. pov youre orphans and your big brother is doing something terrible so you report him and he winds up being hanged for it and he comes back as an undead monstrosity and kills literally everyone in your hometown ((i realize i have misremebered it was a memory wipe not killing but so many village wipes happen in this series can you blame me)) but you and you are haunted by the guilt you feel. its hard but you end up finding a new place to call home and new people to call family until one day theyre gone and you do your best to help your little struggling village and you perservere until one day 15 years later theyre back and havent aged a day. you thought they were gone.

also just fucking getting to see dante age and get married and become a father while gene is stuck in the same 20 y/o body goes crazy. what happens when you outgrow your big brother

also hmm i dunno. i think we should all aprreciate brenden more. also kiki & zane are so we need to talk about that more

#asks #THANKY OU AIDEN!!!!!!!!!

[wally-friggin-franks]

YOU GOT IT JECTOR BOY

hmm i know ya already knew this one, but i wanna tell it again. i stole one of the spare projectors. n' i took it home cos i wanted to try and set up a little movie night. invited multiple ppl but nobody believed me so it was just me</3

um i ended up causing a small fire but after i put that out i got it workin!!!! saw about 3 minutes of the reel i stole and then got bored. took the reel back but kept the projector.

hmmm. lemme think. i think at some point i was not havin a good day so i started hiding in the back of the warehouse to just get away yknow. lacie found me n she was so nice??? like i usually just annoyed her but she goes "kid, look. ya gotta beat their asses." and like girl..... ur so right..... i'm gonna beat them up.... so anyways i got into a fight

also! when i was rigging the uhh. warehouse games. to the doors? the guys were like "wow for a tiny guy you're capable." so i bit them too. teehee

did the water bucket trick on the music director. tried to run away but slipped on said water. i think thats when he kicked me down the stairs

another one. i visited jack cos i was done early and i didnt wanna go home yet. i go down there and theyre like,, i dont know how to describe it. but i just watched them do this little jig and then they saw me n went. well? you gonna join or what?? so im like. frick yeah ill join. so we grooved for a while until someone started yelling for me fkebdjeb

miss susie did my makeup once! but i moved too much and she was just. WALLY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SIT STILL. but it tickled it wasnt my fault it felt weird ok. anyways i was literally killing it afterwards. shes really good at makeup. and putting up with me cnsvhf

one more for now, then i gotta go-

sorry it has to do with the friggin mechanic. but its funny. so like after the whole Welder incident he just. stopped trusting me to do things alone so any time i had to help him (I HATED HELPING HIM) he was just watching the whole time like >:[ and saying no. youre doing this wrong. youre turning the wheel the wrong way. THEN YOU DO IT YOURSELF. anyways after a while of that shawn appears out of NOWHERE, drags me outta there, sayin "we gotta put my plan into action theres NO time to explain." and she had a "sled" (a bunch of wooden planks crudely attatched to eachother) set up at the top of the stairs and i couldnt even object before they just. put me on this thing and kicked us both off. i fell off immediately but shawn didnt realize i fell off til she was at the bottom of the stairs. THEY SET UP LITTLE SLINGSHOT THINGS TO HELP EM GET AROUND THE TURNS OF THE STAIRS. thomas catches up like "what the f man" and im just listening to the distinct sound of thunkthunkthunkthunk as the thing keeps goin. i get dragged back to work just as norman started scolding shawn 😔

anyways, thats all i got time for right now!! see ya later, im outta here >:]

#batdr da #batdr irl #batim da #batim irl #batdr kin #batim kin #wally franks irl #《remember that time?》

[soleillunne]

OKAY OKAY SO!! do you have any book recs?? i want to get back into reading, it feels like i've mostly been focused on writing these days

i have a bunch but most are fantasy!

the folk of the air trilogy - holly black

enemies to friends-ish to enemies to lovers, mc is a badass and the li is so in love (hes also a menace but mc kinda covers that lmao)

this is a 3 book series with a new series that just dropped that happens after the events of these 3 books

the order is: the cruel prince, the wicked king, the queen of nothing, stolen heir (the new book) but there are also books you can read in between (that i havent read myself)

by far the best book series ive read, i would sell my soul to read it again for the first time

circe - madelline miller

this is a story about circe, a godess (i think) from greek myth. the writing was beautiful, but since its myth, if youre not interested i dont reccomend

(same goes w song of achilles by the same writer)

shadow and bone & six of crows - leigh bardugo

(this one has a two season series on netflix too if youre interested)

shadow and bone - 3 books;

mc is so op honestly, she discovers magical powers early in the book and finds out shes grisha (ppl that have magical powers), but not just any grisha, shes a legend grisha, one of a kind

i dont really remember who she ends up with as its been a while since i read the books but one li is an ass while the other gives golden retriever vibes and i didnt like either of them /lh

six of crows - 2 books;

now listen, i didnt actually read these two books but in the tv show the two series are shown at the same time and i like the characters in this one more

badass gang, thats it. (look more info pls dont trust me)

the kane chronicles - rick riordan

percy jackson is so famous people forget this absolute gem right here.

the idea is the same as percy jackson, except this time its about egyptian gods instead (also techically mc isnt a child of the gods)

it has 3 books, with extra crossover books w pjo (that are also really good once you have the basics)

the midnight library - matt haig

i'm actually not sure what category this falls into.

mc has an accident and ends up at a library at exactly midnight, where the weird librarian tells her that this library is her life (of sorts). basically each book in the library is how her life couldve been like based on some decisions she made

and she keeps going to these other versions of her life by reading the books until she realizes hey, she wants to live, and goes back to her original life

not my favorite, but still an okay one

dune - frank herbert

this is a classic, but it was really good

i dont remember the details, all i really remember was that i had sth for the mc

fr tho its really good, give it a go if long books dont intimidate you

as for books to get into reading again, hmmm

cries okay so dont get mad but the cruel prince got me out of a reading slump

momo - michael ende

this book is so well written istg

mc is a child, first of all. and i dont mean like a teen i mean shes 8 max, shes a literal child but its okay bc there isnt that much action in this one

the main idea of the book is about how precious time is, but its told through such an interesting way. there are time thieves that steal other people's time to live, making it look like theyre helping people save time on mundane things, and momo stops them (not in an insane way i promise)

the secret garden - frances hodgson burnett

this is a classic, but dont let that fool you this is a really well written book

this one has almost no action in it btw

mc is also a child here (shes maybe 12 at most), she moves into the mansion of her uncle after her family dies where she starts to behave like an actual child instead of some spoiled princess/lh

so one day while going on a stroll in the garden area (?) bc no one is there to take care of her now, she finds a secret garden and decides hey since no one seems to care for this garden, this is mine now

also there are other children that she befriends along the way that help her w the garden

def recommend

extra;

anne of green gables (this is so long honestly i ended up just watching the series bc the fact that its 8 books intimidated me at the time - ill get to it eventually)

miss peregrines home for peculiar children (also same as above - i loved the concept tho and ill read it eventually)

percy jackson - a classic

Jayden's Rescue & Old Scroll - vladimir tumanov (these are techincally chrildrens books but theyre also great books so)

#i can give you other recs but theyre turkish and idk if they have eng translations #chitchat #Aly's Friends.[Mika✨]

[bigmack2go]

No i dont think u understand!! I love heartstopper with my heart and all and im greatfull for all the representation but theres just so much i will never see myself in tv or media.

I want to see a kid having two(+) crushes and despair bc „why do i have to choose?“

But instead of the kid chOoSiNg ThE BeTtEr PeRsON iN tHe eNd i want to see them end up with BOTH because you dont have to choose! You can love several people in a romantic way and theres NOTHING wrong with it!

I want to see a girl that doesnt get along with other girls or a boy that doesnt get along with boys( or just isnt the same as other boys/girls)

I want to see a kid that just doesn’t belong to either. I dont wanna hear „not boy enough for the girls and not girl enough for the boys“ and have them struggle with the other people. NO! I want them to wonder for themselves who they are! Have them realize they dont belong to both or to either BUT TO NEITHER!

I want to see an outcast that isn’t all „boys at school never look at me. Im just not a main character…“ give me a kid thats an outcast but „WHY??? WHY AM I AN OUTCAST?? IM NOT EVEN THAT BAD WHY CANT NO ONE SEE THAT???“

Give me an authistic kid that doesn’t realize its being picked on until its to late. I want to see then masking and learning to unmask! I dont want to see not because „what is your problem?“ but because What is my problem? I want to see them struggling to name their feelings and even understand themselves! I want them to have to explain themselves and their actions but not being able too because THEY DONT KNOW EITHER!! I want them to be told their not authistic because „if you were authistic [insert authitic stty]“ i want them to accept that they have a disability and learn to live with it, not to say „aUthIsM iS A GiFt“ because for it fuking isnt! Its a condition! But that doesn’t make you less worthy of anything.

I want a kid that gets made fun off and KNOWS it but they cant do anything about it because the bullying is so passive that everyone’s just like „hAvE YoU eVeR cOnsIdeReD tHeyRe NoT aCtuAlLly AgaInSt YoU?” And being told to just engage with them, but of they do that then everyone will know theyre a fool and they fell for the passiveness and „did u actually think we wanted to be your friends ha ha“

I want an adhd kid that wonders „what is wrong with me?“ „why me???“ or „why cant i just be like everyone else“ i want them to struggle with asignments and get burned out and shit! I wanna see them nit asking for help because „istg if one more person asks me what dont you understand im gonna lose it!“ because „HOW AM I SUPOSED TO KNOW WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND IF I DONT UNDERSTAND IT?!“ i want to see them react negatively when they meet another kid with adhd thats like them instead of „i fInNaLy FoUnd SoMeoNe ThAt UndErStAnDs mE“ because

„THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT WAS GOOD ABOUT THIS WHOLE STUFF! I COULD NEVER FIT IN AND THE ONLY THING GOOD ABOUT IT WAS THAT I WAS UNIQUE! AND NOW I DONT EVEN GET TO HAVE THAT ANYMORE“

I want a kid that is of faith but not the same faith that they were raised with.

I want to see a christian kid thats friends with a muslim kid,because w h a t d o i c a r e? Maybe one of us is wrong. Maybe were both wrong. Maybe were both right! There is quite literally no way to find out!

I want to see them both struggle because the musilm kid hears shit like

„you realise that r the same ppl that k!ll3d ourlikes back in the day..“ (but why r they so nice then?) from one side, and „blah blah are you/ your parents terrorist(s)?“ (where’d u get that idea from) from the other

And the other kid hears „you cant be friends with a blasphemer“ and „you realise that everything you stand for is homophobic and what not“

Even better; give me a GAY christian that goes to church on Sundays and to pride on Fridays!

Give me an abuse surviver that was emotionally manipulated. Someone who thought that was normal. Some one who’s been lied to. Someone who has to change their whole worldview because everything they believed to be fact wasn’t. I want to see them growing into the person that did that to them in the first place BUT AGAINST THEIR WILL! I want them to fight against it! I want them to struggle because they don’t wanna hurt anyone but they know they’re toxic. Not in a „im just a burdain anyways i should go kms“ way but in a genuine way where they do genuinely bad things sometimes without realising it. But they can win that fight and the y D O N T have to become the abuser.

Give me an emotionally traumatised kid. A kid that keeps apologising and that panics when things go to good!

I want to hear the story of a bullying victim that changes school and it actually gets better and they panic about it.

I want them to genuinely believe their new friendgroup secretly has a groupchat without them. I want them to genuinely think people are laughing AT THEM when they r laughing in private. I want them to genuinely believe that no one gets it. I want them to genuinely think certain people dont want to do with them and r just being polite every here and there because „they r so cool! There is no possible way they would actually wanna be friends w me“

I want everything in they’re life to grow to be better but they just dont. They just watch their life improving while they dont heal. The damage is done, the glue is dryed. You cant do anything about it anymore. Its to late.

They genuinely think they cant heal anymore

A gifted kid that struggles more than everyone else and „they must have switched something up! Theres no possible way that my iq is barely 10 under einsteins.“ because they keep struggling.

Gimme a dyslexic kid that doesn’t go „why do i not get this“ but instead „why does everyone else get this??“

Give me a discalculatic kid for whom its the other way around! I don’t wanna see the same thing that every kid has with maths like „dO yOu GuYs ActUaLlY UndErStAnd ThIs??“ no! (They dont prolly but thats just normal) they go „how come i dont understand this when everyone else seems to do it somehow“

A kid with generalized anxiety disorder being misjudged as paranoid. A kid that panics because of the most obscure things. „What if a metheor destroys earth“

If your feeling funny connect it with ocd!

„What if everyone in my family is zombies? I cant just ask them that because if i do they know their cover is up and then they dont have a reason to not do zombie stuff anymore“

(I actually genuinely believed that for three years straight and i had so many panic attacks.)

I dont want then to not ask for help because „thats stupid lol! Everyone will think im a dumb kid woth too much fantasy“ but instead „if i ask for help IT’LL GET WORSE!“

A boy that has everything!

His parents have much money, he’s white (dont experience racism), he’s straight (no homophobia), cis, a boy, has friends, nothing stressful in his life „so why do i feel so damn bad?!“

A kid that digs into their past and theyre grandparents and stuff and find something they just didnt wanna know!

This is the representation i need! I need to see the other representation too but it’s not done with that!

There is so much more that kids think they will never see themselves in when watching tv etc. and they WILL grow to belive that they are wrong or not normal for that if that doesn’t change!

I could go on abt this and maybe i will tbh but in the coments lol

(I didnt do anything abt racism because im a white person and i dont experience it! I dont think i should talk about stuff that i dont know about as much as someone who IS experiencing it does)

#representation matters #representation #mental health #autism #adhd #polyamory #bullying #burnout #nonbinary

[beesmygod]

ugh

despite being such a gossip and drama hound myself, i do not relish being the subject of it. you might think its because being the subject of scrutiny and attention is stressful. it’s actually because the people who keep lining up to try to shots at me wind up being the dumbest people alive who knock themselves out somehow. i think its important to get in front of “a narrative”, especially in this case, where every player is a lying liar who lies ahahaha. this one is way funnier than morbi actually. up until now, i was tactfully setting aside what happened out of uh. whatever kindness was left in my heart, i guess. more fool me!

im not going out of my way to crop ppl out of this if you look bad its your own damn fault. no one made you type this shit but you. dont post shit you can’t cash.

you might have been confused by the exchange between anon and this guy yesterday when i reblogged it to set the record straight on morbi. i was, until very recently, an infrequent contributor to his webcomics discord. earlier this year, i tried to reach out into more communities so i could get to know more artists and keep up with what’s hot (what a stupid fucking idea that was, in hindsight). a few days ago, some weirdly supportive of kiwifarms tweets from a comic artist who was ruined by them were posted for discussion. everyone pretty much just noted that it was weird with one person asking what kf even was. everyone else explained so i added this stupid shit

note: this is at 5:24 am. because at 7pm that night, one of the people in the discord goes completely full fucking tilt out of literally nowhere. i have screencapped the entire conversation up until that point as proof that i 1. literally did not say anything else the entire day and 2. proof that the conversation was completely normal up until that point.

inexplicably, people in the server put on kids gloves and start trying to come to a middle ground with this dipshit like hmm yes maybe we are a little kiwifarms could you explain more so we can understand you. when i noticed an hour later i saw red.

for someone who was “not helping”, the attention-seeking hysteric suddenly evaporated into thin air. i dont think anyone has actually shamed them for their behavior before. the conversation was shut down rather than resolved because i raised the temperature. daniel invited me to speak to him more privately in his dm if i had any more concerns bc i was pissed it was being swept under the rug. so i did.

here is the conversation in full. im posting it bc it makes him look like a clown and because later, he characterizes this as “chasing him” into his dms. what i didnt realize until today is that he says that the person going nuts is a moderator’s sibling, which explains why they’re permitted to take huge shits on people with no repercussions.

having committed the worst crime you can do in a nerd group (be mean) i was subjected to a post-mortem about the event (?) which culminated with this unbelievable irony cap

after my 10 mins were up, i said “i am not a good cultural fit or share the same moral priorities as this server and i will show myself out” and left. i vented on my twitter with blistering posts basically saying “well they’re all young. its annoying and seems bad but what can i do but leave”. and left it there.

it seems insanely obvious to me, so obvious that i struggled to even have to explain it to people whose entire brain appeared to have leaked out of their skull, that allowing someone in your discord for artists accuse random artists of wanting to reboot the mass shooting and violent transphobia website is literally the worst possible behavior you could permit. i wasnt expecting the mods to leap into action and do something, as they seemed to desperately think. i wanted to not belong to a community that would tolerate or entertain this.

anyway, yesterday morbi happened. i reblogged that post and daniel, after being told he wasnt a problem, decided he absolutely had to be one right now. he followed me on twitter and began posting ominously about a “write-up” of what happened between morbi and i because “some people” (this could literally only be the discord chat, and the reason he didnt want to post it there so they could snicker at it to themselves was because he thought this would humiliate or scare me) were curious.

maybe you’ve noticed a little flaw in the logic both morbi and dan have when it comes to “doxing”: for two people who are very concerned about privacy they’re out here retweeting the very information they’re decrying as invasive and then dan goes and fucking googles her and posts on a public platform more information about her than i cared to know. i cant stop thinking about how these morons were completely convinced they were doing something noble and righteous here by standing up for someone that maybe might be a black woman (hence: racism) based entirely on like a pintrest account

the cloying, transparent attempts to seduce me into messaging him first to soothe his battered ego are so desperate and pathetic that they make you hurt from the sidelines. you can see me gently try to explain why they look like a complete lunatic clutching their pearls over unmasking anonymous hate before i give up. there was so much obviously wrong about what they were doing that i was in disbelief that they were telling me that they were doing it.

1. taking a “both sides” approach doesn’t work when one person is a serial sexual harasser and the other posted an email address attached to a near cry-typing comment.

2. the attempt to use black women as a cudgel to defeat his posting enemy.

3. whatever this. attempt at banter is. idk man.

all of this didn’t work, so he tried showing me a piece of what he was writing that was the most deliberately inflammatory in the hopes that this morsel would finally compel me to bite and come begging for a re-write to save my webcomic career.

i wasn’t posting in a way that was drawing attention to this, it was a nosy (positive) friend who noticed this happening and went “holy shit what the fuck are you doing” which caused him to backpedal furiously

i was planning on letting him post it and just letting it speak for itself. i cannot think of a more ruinous thing to do to yourself than to ally with a sexual harasser and post openly and transparently about how extremely mad you are about how a girl made you feel. what could have possibly gone wrong.

in the end, daniel signed off with this post, signaling a more positive future for himself and his comic since his plan to annoy someone with a reputation for being a huge bitch multiple times by trying to downplay the severity of his and his friend’s actions, somehow blew up in his face

ah wait hold on. im getting word that he posted this after deleting a different post. this one

if there were any doubt what this were all about, daniel went and tweeted it out (literally) because subtext is difficult. my demand for a public apology for being accused baselessly of a career ending lie in order to stop this behavior from ever happening again has been recontextualized in his head as mean old bea picking on him and forcing him to do terrible things like “moderate” as a moderator.

over the past week ive been subject to racists, sex pests and 0/10 trolls but the spineless, moral coward is the most egregiously memorable of the lot. despite the amount of leeway i gave him for his repeated weak-willed behavior, he always found a new way to own himself without external prompting. despite me walking away and being satisfied with that, he came back for more. there are some people you cannot help, there are some people i don’t want to help because they cannot stop putting their hands on hot stoves. and then there are people who are begging for it.

somehow, it will be my fault that he feels bad and embarrassed about his behavior because i have catalogued it after being pushed around enough and it will not be seen as a direct result of his repeated failure of conscience.

anyway lol, lmao

#long post

[hoonvrs]

We fr like this babes🤞

I CANNOT live a day with the worry of an argument it stresses me out so much

Alr not to vent but ive seen most ppl have this friend that they just cant say no to. Like its IMPOSSIBLE.

I have a friend like that, shes legit my closest friend. I have this trauma from like 3 years ago, she randomly just some day went "i dont wanna be friends with you anymore, r***a gives you too much attention." The girl i just metioned, my closest friend and i are a trio (theyre literally my closest friends). Back on topic HOW TF IS IT MY FAULT SHE GIVES ME TOO MUCH ATTENTION. But i was too distracted by the fact she didnt wanna be friends anymore that I didnt even realize how logicless it was. We had been friends for about 4 years back then (7 now) and i was DEVASTATED. No thats an understatement.

I was so sad that I went to my mum and cried to her for an hour straight.

After that she lowkey became controlling. Whenever i did something she didnt like, shed block me unannounced and wouldnt even tell me what pissed her off. Her anger issues are off the boundaries till today. She gets mad at the littlest of things. When i dont do something she wants she goes on to persuade me by telling me shed tell a certain someone my secrets or block me everywhere etc.

But till this day i cant unfriend her because first of all, im too scared to. Shed get all annoyed and talk behind my back shit. Secondly, forget the first one I just CANT. Whenever i wanna think of unfriending her i just get reminded of all the fun times we had all these years and end up with tears.

Besides all that, youd be surprised to believe she has been one of my best friends ever. Nobody would believe me. But in reality i love her too much to let go if

(IM SO SORRY FOR THE RANT I WAS FEELIN A LIL EMOSH TODAY 😭😭😭)

-🌜

DW ABOUT THE RANT BAE IDM

i can’t relate in the sense that my bsfs and me are a trio too but honestly ur friend sounds so toxic

i get you guys have had good times that makes u hesitate but if she’s able to get prissy and block you over her own problems and insecurities it’s really not worth it bae. no one who loves you would put you in a position where you question theyre friendship and contemplate unfriending them

and if she chats shit let her😭 people are gonna talk behind ur back regardless and i don’t wanna be the instigator here but do u really think she’s quiet whenever she gets upset or jealous and blocks you? i just think the cons outfight the pros cause no amount of good times can cover the fact that she’s genuinely stressed you out over ur friendship js cause she doesn’t wanna grow up

PEOPLE WHO CAN TAKE NO ARE THE WORRSSTTT the amount of arguments and growth i’ve had to go through with my friends rn over the last 8 years i’ve known them is crazy🫠 but sometime people need to be confronted and if ANYBODYY can’t take criticism from their best friend trust me they’ll nvr change🫥

BUT you never know, idk how old you are but friend groups and bsfs either grown into each other or out of it, it’s just life and part of it. js trust that you will grow and learn from it just try and protect ur peace

anyways i hope i don’t come off aggressive or sumn😭 im an argumentative bitch who will start an argument with anyone so ik not everyone is like me but hopefully it all ends well for u bae🫂 u deserve better

#inbox — new msg! #im v passionate about this topic #if u coudlnt alr tell #🌜anon #( anons! )

[dip-the-stick]

ok alr here I am fuck lets do this. so im too lazy to check the times of their attacks but I swear steve was attacked longer. like 2-3 minutes or smthn and Eddie was only a minute, maybe 2. and so Steve was shirtless, he had nothing to protect himself by his pants and then didnt even attack down there. his neck was wrapped, his hands were held down, and his feet were free but all he did was kick the air. Eddie on the other hand had pants, boots, three fucking layers of shirts, two of which (leather jacket and army vest) were thick. and yes his neck and hands AND legs were wrapped and held down too but he wasn't attacked for as long and had protection. AND AND AND THE BIGGEST THING his fucking shirt wasn't even ripped ?????? yes it was bloody but it wasn't ripped like Steve had actually flesh missing and maybe Eddie did too but the bats would have had to eat thru the shirt to get that much flesh on him but there was no hunks of the shirt missing it was just covered in blood. and so the bats clearly didnt hold his shirt up and put it back down when they were done eating him so fuck the duffers and their shitty writing Eddie should still be alive

OK YES. first off, he literally in the reality of the show should not have died. everything u said is right and its making me so fkn mad lmao. man went out there fully suited up with WEAPONS and CLOTHES to protect him, and somehow getting a couple bites and chocking for a minute or so killed him??? but when steve got way worse all it did was push him into a scene to move the stevnancy narrative along. sure. whatever. it's total bullshit but fine. why not i guess

SECOND THOUGH, having the actors make a big deal abt there being deaths this season and then killing one character who was only introduced at the beginning of the season is lazy writing. it just is. there's no stakes. i love Eddie so much but killing him had no point. saying he died a hero when his death saved no one and he could have gone back with dustin and helped out and become a more developed character next season fuckin sucked and it was practically meaningless, at least plot wise. im never gonna shut up abt this but the fact that the only ppl that are affected by his death are Uncle Wayne and Dustin just goes to show that it wasnt relevant to anything and didnt drive the plot forward at all. it's also completely betraying what the show was all about in the first season. i saw a post that worded this better a couple days ago, but season one was built on going against tropes. the crazy mom turns out to be right, stuff like that. but they've stopped doing that and it makes me so upset. they could have done better with Eddie. instead of "freak has a change of heart and dies a 'hero' in the end" it could have been "freak finds that despite what he thought, he never needed to change and that running is just your best option sometimes". the amount of guilt he has about constantly running away from stuff could have been explored so much better, especially if in the end he realized that EVERYTHING he ran from this season was stuff that he SHOULD run from. i dont think he ever ran without good fkn reason and making him die for nothing in the end just made his character feel more empty to me

anyways, thank god i have the little alive and happy eddie in my head that the duffers arent allowed to interract with. love that guy he's doing great, playing his guitar and rolling dice and whatnot

#i feel like i have written too much but GOD im very upset abt vol 2 and they did eddie so so wrong #asks #st #stranger things 4 #stranger things #st4 #eddie munson #thanks for the ask homie sorry about all the words lol #icarus!!

[n-agiz]

imma be honest - other than exo and got7 (mostly the 3rd gen bg's) boy groups nowadays aren't really my type. nct used to have an amazing array of songs, so much talent (especially with Mark and taeyong and ten, DONT GET ME STARTWD ON WAYV ARGHHH) but fuckkkk now with their new sound like sticker - it's driving me batshit insane. its just plain not doing for me unfortunately

usually when I hear a song, I prioritise coherence and good grammar, which most songs nowadays don't really have - new jeans, twice and stay c !!!!!!! arghhhh they really hit the nail so well !!!!! ALONG WITH G-IDLE TOO !!! GYU I MISS SOOJIN SO MUCH TBH !!!!! ahhh my kpop era was definitely a little cringy but auahahahah there were so many good memories there! 💗

waaaaah i agree with you on basically everything here wow ! i can't say much for got7 since i've never really taken the time to listen to their stuff, but exo reallyy has a superior discography idc what anybody says ! i've seen ppl compare them to bts and other groups and i'm always just like ? ? no hate to bts ! their older stuff is good ngl, but exo are literally on a league of their own lmao, there's no other way to put it yk.

and aaaaah i def get what you mean abt nct ! ! i've been a sticker + 2 baddies enjoyer since day one lmao but i have no problem in admitting that their discography has def seen better days ! ! nct as a whole has been so mismanaged lately it's insane :/ sungchan + shotaro debuted two years ago and are stil unitless. i think they're gonna debut soon in a new unit with the smrookies, but even then idk how much i actually like that idea bc although i really freaking want to see those two finally get under the spotlight, i can't help but wonder if a new unit won't just make everything worst ! mark + haechan haven't stopped since 2020 between dream & 127 schedules, nct 127 went basically one entire year without a comeback and had what ? two weeks of promotions ? once they finally got one ? i'm not even gonna talk about the fact that wayv haven't had any comebacks since early 2021 and we're still waiting to know if they'll continue as 6 or as 7 or what the heck is gonna happen with them in general. it makes me so mad seeing all these guys with so much potential and talent get left behind AND BY SM OF ALL COMPANIES ! you'd think such a big company would be exactly the one to be able to handle such a huge project but ig not.

boy groups in general but specially 4th gen ones i feel like have been leaning sm towards the noise music lane lately and although there's a select few that do it kind of alright, most of them are basically just making fans drift away from them. that's why i think all these girl groups have been doing so well ! their sound is experimental in it's own way and they all have their own vibe, but that just goes to show that you can do something new that will separate you from others while still producing good music. newjeans got where they are bc their sound was something new, (g)-idle try so many concepts and still manage to do amazing every time, ive, le sserafim, stayc ALL OF THEM have something unique that sets them apart but their music is still good and liked by most people, unlike what we've seen with boy groups yk — they'll have something that sets them apart but not for the best of reasons lmao.

kpop has been so insane lately and i honestly wonder why i haven't given up on it completely yet bc this industry is absolutely too much lmao. there's so many gems in it but companies nowadays only care abt money and, maybe without realizing, all they're doing is ruining their groups. we need more good music, not tiktok tunes and challenges AND VERY MUCH NOT US VALIDATION ! although i think it's great that 4th gen is so focused on making kpop a global genre instead of it having such a limited audience, i also think it's so stupid to have topping on the us charts as your main goal. idk maybe i'm wrong for this but it's just what i've been noticing as someone who has kind of been just listening to kpop and looking at it from afar instead of actually being super engrossed in the fandoms yk

#mail. #i rambled. again. oops

[thedreamgirljournal]

this is rlly long sorry lol i just got carried away

hi ive just been feeling overwhelmed and i wanted to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice. i think youve seen blushydiors post on how she manifested her dream life with super hard circumstances and ive been using that as kind of a guide. my emotions wojld be up and down, for a while affirming did make me feel good and i felt like i had what i wanted (i do think i was and perhaps still am overcomplicating it because she said she reached the sabbath and *then* received her desires so i thought i needed to do that, key thing here is i was thinking i needed to do something else to get my desires.)

anyway yesterday i was rlly down cuz a circumstance just kept getting shoved in my face i literally felt sick but i tried my best to affirm and reason to myself that the world is just a response blah blah, i dont need to believe my affs whatever. but i always find myself coming back to this weird belief that i do need to, and not believing my affs makes me feel hopeless because i dont feel like i have what i want and it feels like thats going to do nothing. ive done my best to affirm/persist n flip thoughts and stuff and tried to tell myself im doing everything right but i just kept worrying. today and yesterday ive just felt so tired because ( that circumstance that was getting pushed in my face was school starting soon, i want to reverse time) i kept noticing i was constantly picturing myself in the future going to school and without my desires and literally no matter how much i flipped that thought it still came back and people saying to persist n flip ur thoughts, itll change ur beliefs, and that your dominant thought has to be that you have ur desire made me feel like i had to keep flipping it and im just so tired i literally cant. sometimes i do get motivated and genuinely believe my affs that i always manifest in 2 days and theres no way the 3d couldnt show me what i want cuz its just a shadow, but it comes and goes. i feel hopeless and i dont wanna give up because itd be so damaging and ill just never let myself, but im just scared. these intrusive thoughts are just 3d circumstances, fear created by me so i should easily be able to rise above them, they dont affect anything, but i just want to believe my affs man itd feel so much better. ive seen stories of ppl like blushydior and her story and ppl just like her who manifested with her guide, how they just never gave up, and my circumstances are absolutelt nothing compared to theirs but im just so tired i dont know how to stop overcomplicating this or have faith which i dont even need.

my intrusive thoughts just wont go away and my beliefs feel like they arent changing i just dk what to do. i kinda realized i should just affirm my beliefs change easily n stuff but im still gonna send this if you want to respond with any advice or anything. thank u, im so sorry this is long

hi honey! i get what you mean. always remember that if manifestation is hard and consuming your mental health, it’s not real manifestation. my best advice would be to take a little break to focus on you and only you, take care of your body and mind, and once you’re ready, manifest, persist, don’t let anybody tell you what you have and what you don’t, only you decide!!! sending you big big love and many hugs, you will make it!!! <3

[nudibutch]

Tell us about the fishing industry oh wise one nudibutch🐸🐳

in short: its complicated but we work really hard to make sure its sustainable!!

in length: in the united states, we have some of the strictest fishing regulations. NOAA, the national oceanic and atmospheric administration has many child agencies under it: the national weather service (gives us weather forecasts), office of marine and aviation operations (regulates ocean commercial shipping, for example), etc, and most importantly, the national marine fisheries service (NMFS). there are multiple NMFS centers in the US, one for each region (northeast, southeast, gulf coast, southwest, west coast/pacific). these centers do a lot in terms of regulating local populations of harvested fish, also called fish stocks, whether they are caught recreationally and/or commercially.

one of the key things NOAA NMFS does is conduct stock assessments on harvested stocks. these are INCREDIBLY mathematically complex, but they try to estimate the current biomass (amount) of fish, and from that the recruitment (how many new baby fish were brought into the population). this is important info for them to know, so they can tell commercial industry and recreational fishers important things like:

- the size limit of the fish they can catch

- the amount of fish they can catch per fishing season

- whether to keep a fishery open or to close it for recovery

these stock assessments are conducted every 2-8 years, depending on the fishery. you can actually go to their website and see their assessments at any time. its important to note that the large variability in population biomass, especially of smaller fish like anchovy, sardine, etc., is NOT solely due to fishing pressure. it is also due to environmental variables, like food availability, water temperature, predation, and so on, that will impact larval survival (which influences recruitment of new adults into the next year class).

on top of this, they have rules for how much allowable bycatch is permitted in fishing operations; what kind of gear you can and cant use (some gear may harm marine mammals and turtles, for example), etc.

many other countries have similar protocols; however, there are always complexities in any country, and some commercial options are better than others (see at the end of this post for tools to make sustainable choices). documentaries like seaspiracy like to spin an alarmist narrative about fishing and overfishing. i would highly recommend reading this vox article that dr. daniel pauly, one of the world's leading fisheries scientists, wrote about the inaccuracies of seaspiracy on fishing and how many statistics they pull in their narrative are outdated and misquoted.

LASTLY, i want to emphasize: fish is one of the worlds leading and reliable sources of protein, especially for those experiencing hunger. not only that, many fishermen around the world rely on fishing as a profession to feed their families. we cannot simply stop fishing -- and we should not. if you have the choice to stop eating fish, thats great. im not judging you for it. but there are many people in this world who would be out of a job without fish, who would die without fish.

not only that, local fish and invert species are a culturally important staple around the world. just look at new england/norway and cod, or lousiana and crawfish, or the pacific northwest and salmon (ESPECIALLY for indigenous communities). stopping fishing entirely would be culturally detrimental to those that eat these animals.

if youre interested in making sustainable fish choices as a consumer -- you absolutely can. for my US followers, monterey bay aquarium has put together a database tool called SEAFOOD WATCH that lets you look up any fish or invertebrate (e.g., crab, shellfish) species and see what the best option is to purchase. so when youre at a restaurant, or in a market, you can support the fishing options that are best for us and the environment.

if you want to know more about seafood watch, and the complexities of choosing sustainable seafood, check out the post i made about it on my main blog here.

#hi can you tell im passionate about this and that this is the field of science im in currently #there is literally so much science too that NOAA and academic unis do to collaborate and understand more about fished species #literally so much goes on day to day that ppl dont realize #i know this was so long but i really hope its helpful #im just really tired of seeing the overfishing misinformation. i really am #globally we are sustainably fishing 75% of fished species. 75%!!!!! #that stat is from the food and agriculture organization of the UN btw #75% is AMAZING #seaspiracy etc likes you to think we're overfishing 100% #we arent. we arent #im not saying fishing is perfect. but we cant just abandon fish as a food source #its perhaps the best option compared to domestic terrestrial sources #answered #anonymous

[the-s1lly-corner]

Iii... forgot to answer you,,,, sorry it was 3 am back then so i fell aspeep. Anyway

I write like that so it's easier to read and switch between topics, i can go on long rambles too but it's just easier to talk about different things like that:]]]<-<-smug face of someone who is so so mentally ill and definitely not neurotypical

Second

*applauds* You Go Boy!!!!

Unfortunately i am also a pleople pleaser buuut i am completely spineless in that regard:(

About the forth...

Don't you hate when you try to respond to something and then realize a bunch of things involving your trauma? Yeah.

Literally my reaction. I dunno, in sum i just throught i have been showed aside and told am annoing a lot and realizing that much more damage was done to me while writing a reply to a neat tumblr fella is, um. Definitely a new experience that stunted me for an hour.

Thank you for the compliment, i think you're also а very nice and, obviously, a silly guy:]

Fifth..

Welp i should probably improve on my writing, but all the Issues SUCK and generally i cant right now, i have too much on my plate despite being sick at home- i have to go to work out tomorrow and then on monday i probably will be forced to go to class, regardless of how i am feeling

Rude people need to shut it, you're putting out vontent for free and they should skip looking at it or be grateful.

You shouldn't give in, tho:(. Ppl will just get used to be entitled all the time and demand more

!!! Couple things!!

1. Dont ever apologize for falling asleep! it happens to the best of us and it wasnt like a heavy or serious conversation was going on!! You get that rest, especially since you're a lil sick!!

2. I get what you're saying 😭😭 I got a nasty habit of getting off topic and derailed a lot so being able to separate my stuff into segments help a lot (even if sometimes I leave a topic half touched SOBS)

3. (Points) one day things will get better and you'll be able to stand up for yourself and put your comfort first!! It's hard at times, hell its still hard for me, but it takes time.. and sometimes you will falter and (for lack of a better word) regress.. but I believe in you! A set back will not condemn you!!

4. I understand that too :( did something happen, or did someone do something :(? I'm so so sorry you were exposed to something that had set off some discomfort.. remember that if something triggers your trauma or even just makes you uncomfortable, you have all the right to disengage !! Take care of yourself and your mental health!!

5. You're not annoying, and as I've already said you seem really nice n silly!!!!!

6. Take your time improving your skills, this goes for anything and everything not just writing! Pushing too hard can lead to a burnout and a loss of passion. and that truly sucks, and it can be hard to reignite that love again (source, its happened to me a handful of times)

6. Yeah people can be entitled with fandom creators; both in art and in writing, I think. A lot of people really need to learn to hush up, and if something isnt to their standards or matches their hc then they should just make their own stuff instead of being rude... alas entitlement exists

[revasserium]

i love your replies to the writer’s ask! about the compliment you gave yourself, yes. i do agree. i’m trying to recall which HQ fanfic of yours i first read. i’ve read so many of your works from that era. as i’m sieving through my memories, a few works of yours pop up like kageyama & the world responding?? daichi’s story with the prompt on goodbyes? adore the way you hook and drag. without looking at your masterlist, which story immediately comes to mind when you think of “time”?

about driving, since i’m still new i haven’t driven much. i’m very excited to cruise on the roads, but i’m also really bad at overtaking (i.e. i can overtake—or else how would i have passed my driving test—but i haven’t done it when cars are going fast & when it’s crowded… road conditions for my test were milder). it’s scary… SJDJSJDJSJ. i’ll hopefully be driving soon with my parent who can instruct me. i think for the time being, as i get used to the car, i have to focus, but i look forward to blasting music while driving 👍 — @anonymilk

also the poem you gave me was so great 🥹 thank you!! are there any poems from that author you like as well?? why do you like them specifically?? — @anonymilk also what happened the past 2 weeks r u alright :( — @anonymilk

combining ur asks! <3 hope u dont mind and sorry i take so long lol but answers in the cut!

uGH that reaper!kageyama x angel!reader fic is still one of my all time favs u__u im so happy you remember that one. sldkfjasd and the daichi story T^T -- i realized that pre-hiatus i was so so so kagehina biased with a hard sprinkling of suga but then post-hiatus i came back and suddenly i'm a daichi stan like is this..... IRL character dev bro. am i just into the Greenest of Green Flags now. not that i dont still adore kagehina bc i do. u__u they are my babies.

in terms of "time" -- i think the one that comes to mind most immediately is the hinata "length of daylight" fic i wrote! it remains one of my fav hinata fics i've written to date :D

for driving -- it def is something that needs lots of practice! but you'll get there!!! i'm excited for you!!!! and yeah to this day, i hate overtaking ppl but it's a necessary evil LOL

re: agha shahid ali YES oh my god okay. i love his stuff. i actually found him when i saw a poem of his on the new york subway lol im not even kidding. and it still remains one of my favorite poems of his to this day -- it's called Stationary, and it goes like this:

The moon did not become the sun. It just fell on the desert in great sheets, reams of silver handmade by you. The night is your cottage industry now, the day is your brisk emporium. The world is full of paper. Write to me.

i think the reason i fell so in love with it is because every single line is so vivid. not to say that most of his other poems aren't like this as well but like. idk something about this just spoke to me so much? i love love love metaphors about like irl things turning /into/ paper or ink or like... writing-related stuff. it's just such a beautiful image to me. also like there's a phrase in every line that strikes me "reams of silver", "brisk emporium" -- and something about the sentence "the world is full of paper" makes me like want to yell bc it's so??? GOOD??? bc yes!!! the world is full of paper!!!!!

and obviously, the ending just SMACKS you doesn't it? write to me. ugh. UGH. ugh its so good.

sometimes this poem still comes back to me in random moments and it makes me happy.

and now for some not so fun stuff. tw for like... ilness and death but yeah uh.

this entire summer has just been kind of ass tbh??? like. during the single month of july, we had 4 people in my family/friend circle pass away -- 2 grandparents, 1 uncle, 1 friend of a friend (who was literally only 24yrs old!!! bruh!!!! WTF!!!). we thought August was going to be chiller, but nope. last day of Aug, last thursday, my boss's wife passed away after battling with cancer for 2+ years.

it hit hard for our entire team at work bc like. she was younger than my mom. and my boss is such an industry veteran, and he and his wife have been married for 17 years, they have a 13yr old son like... it just sucked all around. we all went to the funeral this past wednesday. it was a beautiful service, but obviously really freaking sad. half our entire office was there, everyone was crying. i was crying like. it was a mess.

and then right after, i think my body had had ENOUGH of this nonsense, and i got a really bad fever literally ONE HOUR after i got home from the funeral. and i've been sick since then.

it's just been... unreasonably rough... i'm really hoping that this is the last big bad thing that's gonna happen for the rest of the year. like. im so exhausted -- pls @ the universe LOL. take it easy on us okay.

so yeah. i try to keep the heavy stuff off this blog bc it's supposed to be a place where i come to be happy and write things that make me happy so i haven't talked about this much but u__u since you asked, i didn't wanna just be like "oh yeah everything is fine" when it's not LOL

i do hope that the summer is treating you better though! <3

#Anonymous #anonymilk #this got way long LOL i hope you don't mind #🌧 raindrops

[videostak]

duuude my living situation sucks so much donkey dick it makes me wish i could like cry :’( srlsy just got cussed out by my dad for not doing things that are supposed to be other ppls chores. i wish i could pinpoint the point in my life where my family started seeing me as their personal maid to yell at whenever anythings a mess. i know it started with me doing the dishes (my family and mom specifcally had stated that we would all help with the dishes and then after like a week no one else helped and it all fell on me and since then theyve just stopped doing stuff that they used to help out w/ so now im like doing everything basically or at the leeast the one whos expected to keep things tidy) probably the closest ive ever been to ssaying fuck you to one of my family members let alone a living person at all. tho i thought things would be crazy dire when it reached the point of being chewed out for things that arent even my responsibility but in reality when i felt like saying it i realized like it would have no impact. like my dad said fucking 600 times while chewing me out and i was like didnt kno he reached that point where he just cusses his own family members out right out the gate. it was literally so insane hes insane and just has such a fkd idea of what like dumbass nuclear family bs. every1 else puts up with his shit and just avoids talking to him and i feel like im the only one who actually takes a stand for myself cause idk i feel like i dont have anything to lose. if he kicks me out ill live on the streets die on the streets idc like just so fucked living like this. every1 expects to clean up after them but if they catch me cleaning up after them thhey act like im babying them and not letting them be adults its so fkd like theres truly no way out the only way out is just like thru with blunt force  i think. like im so sick of my dad theres so many times id put up with his bs and take his side on things but i rly do not wanna talk or even entertain the idea of talking to him to him. literally anytime any1 talks to him he just turns it into a 30 minute lecture and he acts so childish when things dont go his way. like when i got furniture for my room and he was annoyed cause i didnt ask him for furniture (wtf) and  then once when i said i was looking for a round lil table and he takes me to the garage to show me a long rectangle table that doesnt even match the other furniture in my room and when i say its not what i was looking for he goes all silent and just guides me out lol. liek when i was a kid i thought it was so amazing that my mom and dad got married when they were p young (dont remember the ages exactly but im p sure my mom was 19 and my dad was idk how many years older he is but just like a few) but now like i see so clearly how totally much it stunted their growth. they both act like little kids and never listen or behave like adults can never take accountability or give actual apologies like def made me realize u should wait as long as possible to get married. i guess its good they got married or atleast had sex since it means i got to be born (yay) but everything else abt it is a real bad deal. rly dont see myself being able to move out anytime soon but ill honestly just keep at the work and save up money and like some day go back to college and hopefully make connections to finda roommate or smthn.