#matt smith is acting his ass off for nothing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strniohoeee · 5 months

Note

I have a question for a Matt fic if you can’t do it that’s fine, Could you possibly do a matt version of vie (I think that’s it idk) if you want to and can 😁🫶🏻

-anonymous out for now

Foe

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N absolutely hates Matt with a burning passion. Nick and Chris get fed up with them after hearing them argue on their road trip. What happens when he locks them in a hotel room together??🗣️

Warnings⚠️: SMUTTTTT. Nothing too crazy though. This is also for another request I got for enemies to lovers with Matt where they travel far and stop in different hotels and have to stay together LOL. Also I was half asleep writing this, so I hope yall enjoy🤭

Song for the imagine: Back to the Old House-The Smiths

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

And you never knew

How much I really liked you

Cause I never even told you

Oh, but I meant to

Are you still there?

I felt my eye twitching, my head spinning and my jaw hurting from the fake smile I had plastered on my face.

“A road trip…how fun” I said through my teeth looking at Nick

“I figured since we have this whole month why not just drive through a couple of states you know” he said

“And you want me to come?” I asked furrowing my brows

“Yes we do” Chris said

“Not me” Matt shot out

I looked over at Matt giving him a death stare and rolling my eyes.

“I mean I’m happy staying here you know. Why don’t you guys go as brothers and enjoy this time for yourselves” I said looking back at Nick

“We really want you to come though like badly, and you can split the driving with Matt since we can’t drive for shit” he said pointing between him and Chris

“Ughhh fine I’ll go” I said throwing myself back on the bed

“Trust me we’d be fine without you” Matt said smacking my head

“Fuck off” I said slapping his hand away

“Matt literally shut the fuck up” Nick said

A few days had passed and it was now time to venture out to some random states. I wasn’t even sure what to pack, but all I know is I had a huge suitcase and a duffel bag. I mean you can’t be too sure right?

I had driven to the triplets house since we were taking their bigger car. When I pulled up Matt was packing some stuff into the trunk while Chris and Nick walked back into the house

I parked my car and got out grabbing my suitcase and my duffel bag

“The fuck did you pack for?” Matt said looking over his shoulder

“A fucking road trip are you an idiot?” I said placing my duffel bag on my suitcase

“You’re acting like you’re moving or some shit” he said laughing

“I like to have options since I actually have a sense of style unlike you, so buzz off” I said rolling my eyes at him

“Packed for a fucking runway show or some shit” he said

I pushed him out the way to look at the trunk

“Matt what the fuck is this?” I said looking at him

“Uhh looks like suitcases and bags to me” he said shrugging his shoulder

“No shit smart ass. You packed this car horribly. Let me fix it” I said

“Knock yourself out” he said

I had removed some suitcases and bags, and I got to a larger bag in the back of the trunk. Sliding it forward

“Okay princess hold this” I said looking over at Matt

“Fuck you….calling me princess” he said rolling his eyes

“Well you watched me undo all this without offering a hand, so yes you are a princess, now hold this please” I said trying to give him the heavy duffel bag

“No im good” he said smiling at me and crossing his arms over his chest

I looked at him blinking, and I lifted the bag up, throwing it over my shoulders, and letting it crash to the concrete pavement.

“Suit yourself then” I said shrugging my shoulders

“ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY” Matt yelled leaning off of the car and walking over to the bag

“Aww it must’ve slipped” I said grabbing my duffel bag off of my suitcase, and rolling my suitcase

“You’re a bitch” he said opening the bag that I’m assuming was his and looking inside of it

I rolled my suitcase past him and lifted my duffel bag up to put it over my shoulder letting it hit Matt in the head.

“So I’ve been told” I said laughing at him

“This has filming equipment in it, my equipment to be exact. You’re lucky it didn’t break” he said standing up

“I’m actually pretty sad it didn’t break” I said frowning

Matt scoffed at me and walked into the house. Leaving me alone to finish packing the trunk up correctly. Soon they all came back out, and got ready to get in the car

Matt shoved past me to get in on the drivers side. I lost my footing and gave him a dirty look

“I hate you” I said to him

“Feelings mutual don’t worry” he said smiling at me

“Can you guys just not fight for once. I have not spent a single day with you guys in two years where there was no fighting going on” Nick said

“I try my best, but he really knows how to get under my skin” I said

“Tell me about it, but please I can’t handle a road trip with Matt in a pissg mood” Chris said

“Okay okay I’ll be nice” I said throwing my hands up in defense

Chris sat in the passenger seat, I sat behind Matt and Nick sat behind Chris. It was a pretty decent car ride for the most part. We were driving north at first.

Occasionally I’d look into the rear view mirror sometimes catching Matt’s eyes. But always looking away. But we kept locking eyes accidentally

“Stop looking at me like a creep” Matt said

“I’m not trying to look at you. Everytime I look up you happen to also be looking” I said getting annoyed

“Uhh yeah it’s the rear view mirror, I have to see what’s happening behind me on the road” he said shaking his head

“Literally shut up before I lose it” I said sighing

“Whatever..” he said rolling his eyes at me

We had been through three states already. We fought the whole time driving, we fought at every stop, we fought for every meal. Chris and Nick were growing frustrated. I think Matt and I didn’t even enjoy our stay in these states because we spent the whole time arguing.

In these three states Chris and Nick forced us to stay in a hotel room together. This was the worst idea in the world because this made us fight more.

The first hotel we stood in, Matt kept turning the light on every five minutes to piss me off, and then he talked the whole night. The second hotel we stayed at, Matt threw ice cold water on me the morning we were heading out while I was showering. The third state we got to there was only one sink, and Matt and I woke up late, so we were rushing. First he took an extra long shower using the hot water, so my shower was cold. Then we had to brush our teeth at the same time.

I leaned over to spit into the sink when suddenly I felt Matt hovering over me. He spat his toothpaste in my hair. My jaw dropped and I let a gasp out

“You did not” I said looking up at him

“Whoops must’ve slipped” he said shrugging his shoulders

I had no time to wash my hair so I had to wipe my hair with a wet towel, and hope for the best. I shoved past Matt packing my stuff up, and ignoring him as I made my way down to the lobby.

This incident was the icing on the cake. I was so angry. I wasn’t the nicest to Matt, but spitting toothpaste in my hair was a low fucking blow.

As we got in the car and headed to get breakfast Chris opened his mouth

“It smells like toothpaste” he said laughing

“Yeah thank your idiot brother” I said with a straight face

“What’d he do?” Chris asked turning back to look at me

“He fucking spat toothpaste in my hair, and I had no time to shampoo it out” I said rolling my neck

“Matt what the fuck” Nick said getting annoyed

“It was an accident” he said pouting

“To hell with you you fucking asshole” I said loudly

“You can throw my bag and hit me in the head, but this was too much?” He said laughing

“Toothpaste from your mouth? Yeah you crossed a line you stupid fuck” I said putting my hand in between the space of the head rest and the chair, and pulled his little neck hairs

“OUCH WHAT THE FUCK” he screamed grabbing the back of his neck

“Awww it was an accident” I said pouting at him

“Bringing you with us was the biggest mistake” he said

“Yeah I think so too” I said crossing my arms over my shoulders

The whole ride went like that. Every restaurant we stopped at and every gas station. Chris and Nick even snapped at us a few times because we were stressing them out.

We stayed at a hotel in the fourth state, and I was hoping us arguing all day would make Nick split us up, but I thought wrong.

“You and Matt are staying together, and Chris and I are keeping your room keys, so if you leave…you’re shit out of luck we’re not helping you” Nick said shrugging his shoulders

“WHAT” we both screeched out

“This arguing is so fucking annoying. We are supposed to be having a good time, and instead we’re miserable. Yall need to talk out your issues because I can’t do this anymore” Nick said to us

“Yeah like I’m exhausted and annoyed with you both bickering like children. I wanted this month break to be nice and fun, but it’s not…please figure this shit out” Chris said rubbing his eyes

We both nodded our heads in defeat, and Nick unlocked our door letting us in, and watching as the door shut in his face.

We locked the door and turned the lights on. Our jaws dropped at the site. One fucking bed….

“They’re fucking with us, they have to be” Matt said scoffing

“Yeah no shit dumbass…they want us to be as uncomfortable as possible, and talk about our issues” I said placing my duffel bag down

“Okay fucking mystery P.I” Matt said laughing

“I’m going to shower and get this toothpaste out of my hair, so behave for like 30 minutes” I said to him

I got in the shower and enjoyed my alone time. It was so peaceful to be alone with your thoughts. I mean I hated fighting with Matt all the time. I wasn’t even sure why I fought with him all the time. It’s just everytime I would see his face it made me so angry. If it wasn’t for his shitty attitude Matt was actually an attractive guy. Beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside. At least from what I saw….

I ignored Matt as I finished my routine and he went to shower. I laid in the bed after drying my hair and just stared at the ceiling. All that I could see was flashes of Matt’s face. It made me angry. The one person I hate the most and that’s all my brain is clouded with.

Matt got out of the shower and sat on the edge of the bed scrolling on his phone. I was staring into the back of his head just thinking. Mainly mean things, but one other thing….his hair looked so good right now. WHAT THE FUCK NO!

It was 2AM at this point, and Matt shut the main light off keeping the lamp on. I grabbed a pillow and a blanket it laid on the floor

“What are you doing” he said looking at me

“Throwing a party…Matt I’m going to sleep” I said rolling my eyes at him

“Yeah, but why on the floor” he said laughing

“Because I’m not sleeping next to you” I said scoffing

“You act like I bite” he said giving me a dirty look

“You might as well with those teeth of yours, so damn big” I said laughing

Matt let out a giggle and looked away. Did I just make him laugh? My eyebrow raised as I looked at him

“Just get in the bed” he said looking at me

“I’m good” I said laying down and turning away from him

Matt scoffed and shut the light off. My mind started racing. His little laugh was so cute, and the way he looked down at me to lay in the bed with him….idk why I started to smile this was weird.

“This feels wrong” Matt saddened blurted out making my heart jump from being scared

“What” I said confused

“You sleeping on the floor like just get up, and sleep next to me” he said

“No” I said

“Stop being so stubborn already” he said smacking his hands down on the bed sheets

“Fine okay” I said getting up

I made my way over to the bed and laid down. Matt was facing me as I looked up at the ceiling. My breathing became shallow as I felt his eyes on me.

“Please stop looking at me” I said in a whisper

“Sorry” he said back

I let a slight smile fall on my face, and I guess he saw it with the little bit of moonlight coming in through the window

“You look very pretty when you smile, you should do it more often” he said

“Well stop pissing me off everyday and I’d have more to smile about” I said

“Are you flirting with me?” He asked laughing

“In your dreams Matthew” I said laughing lightly

“Oh in my dreams indeed” he said

“You’re such a strange person” I said rubbing my eyes

“Is that why you hate me?” He asked

“I don’t hate you. I hate the way you act. You know how to make me angry” I replied

“I mean I don’t mean to be that way, but to see how easily you get upset it makes me smile” he said laughing a bit

“I’m glad my anger brings you joy” I said shaking my head

“It’s cute” he responded

“I must be mistaken…is Matt flirting with me?” I asked

“Oh no I would never” he said laying on his back now

“Right right” I said shrugging my shoulders

The room got silent…painfully silent. I’m sure you could hear my heart beating out of my chest. My breathing became heavier. Why was there such weird tension now?

I mindlessly started to lightly hum a song trying to coo myself to sleep?? I don’t know..

“What’s that? I’ve heard you hum that song before” Matt said

“Oh it’s Back to the Old House by The Smiths” I said

“I’ve been trying to figure out that song for the longest every time you hum it” he said in a whisper

“Oh yeah” I said also in a whisper

Matt’s hand came down near mine, and I felt his pinky graze against my skin. My breathing hitched in my throat as I glanced down at his movement.

“I love The Smiths” I said in a low whisper

“What was that?” He asked his pinky now completely rubbing up and down my hand

“I said… I love The Smiths” I responded looking over at him. To see him already looking back.

Suddenly Matt’s lips crashed into mine. Throwing me for a fucking loop because what the fuck was this?

But my lips moved with his as he leaned up and over. Slowly making his way to hover above me. My hands immediately rubbing through his hair

Our lips locked in such a heated and passionate kiss. Who would’ve thought I needed a kiss from Matt so badly. My body ached for him, and I slowly hated that. I was supposed to hate him what's going on…

“Wait wait wait” I said pushing Matt back

“What’s wrong?” He asked looking at me

“I mean nothings wrong. It’s just….we’re supposed to hate each other” I said

“Who says enemies can’t kiss?” He asked

“Fuck it” I said pulling him back down for another heated make out session.

Matt’s dick slowly pressed against my cunt as my legs stayed spread for him. My heart fluttered at the feeling as I pulled Matt down more to allow our chests to touch.

Matt began to kiss down my neck as my nails scratched his scalp. This was so wrong yet felt so right. I had complete control in my hands. And I wanted this to go further than some kissing. I so desperately wanted Matt right now.

“I don’t want you to feel forced to do anything” Matt said looking at me as he kissed up my neck

“Trust me if I felt forced I would’ve kneed you in the balls” I said, and he laughed against my skin causing me to get goosebumps

Matt and I continued to kiss until his hands ran up my shirt and slowly began to take it off. Lifting off the bed for him to get it off my head

He pulled away and removed his shirt as well. Leaning back down as our bare chests touched causing me to let out a whimper

He kissed down my neck and down my chest as he left open mouth kisses on my breasts. He kissed down my stomach and to where my pajama bottoms sat

He came back up running his right hand over my breasts as he kissed my neck.

“I need more” I moaned out

“Okay” he said in a whisper

Matt pulled away and helped me slide out of my pajama bottoms. He slowly slid his pants off.

He ran his hands over my cloth pussy as I shuddered. He removed his boxers and slid my underwear to the side. Slowly he slid into me allowing myself to adjust to the burn from the stretch.

God Matt felt so good. I was already in heaven and he hasn’t even fucked me yet.

“Are you ready?” He asked me as he bottomed out

“Yes” I panted out as my back arched

“I’m going to go slow okay” he said

“Okay Matt” I said licking my dry lips

Matt began to thrust in and out of me at a slow pace. Truly allowing me to feel all of him. My hands gripped the sheets beneath me as my toes curled.

Matt was filling me up so well. I swore my eyes were in the back of my head. His thrusts slow but deep and harder really stretching me out

“You can go faster” I moaned out

Matt leaned forward and brought my left leg to wrap around his torso as he began to pound into me.

“Fuck Y/N, you feel amazing” he panted out into my ear

His necklace tapping against my collar bone with every thrust. As my hands began to rake up and down his back

“Shit Matt….holy fuck just like that” I moaned out

His hips snapping into me at a faster pace. The bed creaked and lightly tapped against the wall. We really hoped Nick and Chris were asleep because this would make for a awkward experience tomorrow

“You’re taking me so well. I thought you hated me” he moaned out

Pounding into me deeper causing a loud whine to escape my lips

“I might’ve hated you before, but you’re fucking me so good I might fall in love” I moaned out throwing my head back

“Love so soon?” He moaned out as he hit my g spot

“Eventually” I panted out

“Yeah I want to fuck you a few more times before you decide on that” he said as his thrusts became sloppy

“I’d like that very much” I moaned out

“I know you would, fuck” he moaned out

My mouth hung open as his lips ghosted against them. My brows furrowed as I began my orgasm slowly approaching.

My heel of my foot for a fact digging into his back as my body quivered and shook for him

“Matt I’m so close” I moaned out as my hips lifted off the bed

“Hold on baby hold on” he said

Snaking his hand in between us he began to rub my clit causing me to let out a high pitch whine.

He began to run faster as my breathing got heavier. My mouth fell slack as his hips smacked into me.

My stomach coiling and my thighs shaking

“Fuckkkk I’m cumming” I moaned out as my legs began to shake and my back lifted off of the mattress. Clenching around Matt as his name fell from my lips in a loud moan.

He helped me ride out my high and slowly pulled out of me as I laid there. He began to stroke his dick chasing his own high

His breathing became heavy as his lower stomach contracted and he painted my thighs with his cum. His mouth slack and eyes staring down at me as he moaned out my name.

Once he came down from his high he helped clean us up. And he got back in bed. It got quiet again and my thoughts started racing

“I don’t hate you. I never did” Matt suddenly blurted out

“Oh” was all I could say

“Watching you get mad over small things made me laugh, and I felt like it was our own little way of flirting” he said

“I mean at times it was” I said looking at him

“And other times I went over the line” he said shaking his head

“Yeah you did, but that’s okay. Look where it landed us fucking in a hotel room” I said laughing

“I suppose that’s true” he said laughing

“It’s just easier to dislike someone than to actually like them, and I’m so mad I can’t hate you” I replied

“Oh the feelings mutual babe” he said licking his bottom lip

I laughed and shoved his shoulder

Matt pulled me in, and we eventually fell asleep in each other's arms after having much needed conversations.

The next morning when we woke up. We showered and packed up. It wasn’t even awkward and we actually enjoyed our morning together. We even walked down to the lobby together which never happened.

“You guys seem happy” Chris said

“Did you hash things out?” Nick asked

“We did, and it was all one big misunderstanding” Matt said looking at them

“Yeah it was. However the one bed was a dick move” I said looking at Nick

“Oh one bed? That’s so weird I didn’t even know that” he said

“You didn’t?” We both said

“No, it must’ve been an accident” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Well I’m glad it worked out that way anyways” I said shrugging my shoulders

“Yeah! Plus it seemed to work you guys are getting along great” Nick said

“Oh yeah you know. Just a good ol conversation to make it all better” Matt said

“I’m so glad you guys are okay now” Chris said getting excited

“We are too! So now let’s actually go have some fun like we’ve been planning to!” I said loudly

We finished our road trip, and I was so thankful for Nick and Chris putting us together. Who would’ve known how badly I needed Matt, and I finally got him. It only took two years…

The End

Mannnn idk how I feel about this, but also I was like half awake writing this it’s bad LMAOOO. I hope you guys enjoyed and I love yall dearly🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplet smut #matthew sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader smut #smut #Matthew sturniolo x reader smut

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starsandhughes · 6 months

Text

Penalty Box Series— Quinn Hughes Edition (nine)

ft. Wyatt Johnston

23-24 Season Masterlist

previous: eight

next: ten

NOVEMBER 4, 2023

if you're not a stars fan, it's best to convert quickly

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, t.harley48, and 17,436 others

yourusername welcome back to my postgame penalty box update show: i finally saw a mason marchment fight live and quinn was also there edition!

after quinn's personal record of three trips to the penalty box night, he decided to be good! this was probably due to the fact that i will fight him over any penalty against the stars (hey, remember when you committed interference against robo on february 27th last season? because i sure do), but we'll pretend it was because he's trying to redeem himself since my baby daddy trevy-z is at zero. the war is strong with these two!

you know who did get a penalty? one of my new besties wyatt "johnny" johnston! his penalty was for holding mikheyev in the second period! (holding penalties aren't ones i hold grudges against, so you're in the clear! but also you do nothing wrong ever, so i wouldn't hold it against you anyways) (p.s. i wouldn't have been mad if you fought garly... i was kinda rooting for it)

other penalties include: (in time order) digi for holding against another new bestie harls, mr. captain jamie benn for hooking soucy which created 39 seconds of 4 on 4, craig smith for hooking friedman, and laffy taffy for hooking wyatt's dad joe pavelski all in the first, esa lindell for cross checking garly, hronek for high sticking my blonde prince roope hintz (he got reprimanded for this), and our two fighting majors between the blue eyed menace mason marchment and ian! (mason got an extra minor for unsportsmanlike behavior) (ian was reprimanded for his hit against matt "dutchy" duchene that started the fight)

my best friend, quintin, pulled a jacky boy and fell over nothing! the conversation between the stars broadcasters went like this:

razor: "he was having a moment back there!"

bogo: "he was playing billiards off the bottom of the net to himself!"

razor: "well, he wiped out first!"

needless to say, i was laughing my ass off when i rewatched this game!

special shoutout to demmer for continuing his perfect win streak against the stars and getting his second shut out of the season! i’m so proud of you @/tdemko35 ! (for those who don't know, he has a 7-0-0 record and just gave otter his first regulation loss of the season :))

quinny, i’m going to publicly say i’m sorry that otter caught every one of your shots on goal <3 and i’m proud of your 25 minutes and 23 seconds of hard work tonight! i love you way past infinity💙 keep it up, buttercup!

p.s. dear wy, harls, and delly, thanks for the great time before the game tonight! i hope you loved your postgame goodie bags! i’ll see you boys december 21st! peace and love, new besties <3 @/t.harley48 @/wyattjohnston_ @/tydellandrea53

tagged _quinnhughes and wyattjohnston_

view all 218 comments

_quinnhughes i have so many grievances about this post... but i still love you way past beyond

yourusername i didn't say one bad thing about you!! just one little tease that i teased jack at the same!!

_quinnhughes i'm sharing my post!

yourusername neither broadcast gave me much to work with, quintin! just be glad you're in it

_quinnhughes get out of my house

yourusername fine! i’ll go to petey's!

_eliaspettersson @/yourusername let yourself in and i’ll be back soon

_quinnhughes @_eliaspettersson i was teasing! she's good! she's staying with me!

colecaufield @_quinnhughes quinn, your possessiveness is showing

_quinnhughes @/colecaufield i don't know what you're talking about

yourusername @_quinnhughes awww, you miss me! sap

_quinnhughes i can't win

user14 god DAMN that fifth pic of quinn has me acting up🥵🧎‍♀️

trevorzegras your stars obsession is so cute when you aren't rooting against me❤️ i love you, forever, my precious weirdo (what are you private thoughts on quinn not scoring on otter?) (come home, i miss you)

yourusername i love you, always, my lovingly crazy boy❤️ (i plead the fifth) (i’ll be there before the game!)

_quinnhughes (we all know she's secretly happy i didn't score against her actual favorite team)

yourusername @_quinnhughes (you can't prove shit)

t.harley48 @/yourusername (what is up with the parentheses?)

yourusername @/t.harley48 (it's for private conversations!)

t.harley48 @/yourusername (everyone can read them?)

trevorzegras @/t.harley48 (she's quirky and we love her)

t.harley48 @/trevorzegras (i’m a big fan of quirky)

yourusername @/t.harley48 (then you're welcome that i exist!)

trevorzegras @/t.harley48 (i repeat: she's quirky and we love her)

t.harley48 @/yourusername (thank you)

_quinnhughes @/t.harley48 (you caught on quick, good job)

tdemko35 thank you, y/n/n! my two shutout trophies will be displayed in my living room. i love you, too!

yourusername you are every so welcome, king! keep gobbling up those pucks like they're fruit snacks🫶

tdemko35 yes, ma'am🫡

_quinnhughes @/yourusername why

yourusername @_quinnhughes "why don't you just be yourself?... no one can help but admire your spirit" (collins 121).

_quinnhughes @/yourusername YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE HUNGER GAMES BOOK ON YOU

yourusername @_quinnhughes i had to phone a friend

trevorzegras @/yourusername i think i’m more than just a friend

yourusername @_quinnhughes i had to phone a friend with benefits

trevorzegras @/yourusername WE ARE ENGAGED

yourusername @_quinnhughes i had to phone a friend with a future tax deduction

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras looks like you can't win either

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes i blame the stars

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras me too

yourusername @/trevorzegras @_quinnhughes LEAVE THEM ALONE! THEY DIDN'T DO SHIT!

_quinnhughes @/yourusername you're right, they couldn't even score a goal

yourusername @_quinnhughes too soon, quintin. too. fucking. soon.

user21 wyatt's kinda...👀

user16 "and quinn was also there" sissy's keeping it real as always

wyattjohnston_ i’m honored to be a part of this, your majesty

yourusername i’m always happy to support my people! you deserve it!

wyattjohnston_ you're too kind!

tydellandrea53 @/yourusername and you're such a giver, princess! the guys all loved your postgame goodie bags

t.harley48 all hail the princess!

wyattjohnston_ all hail!

tydellandrea53 all hail!

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes what the fuck happened when these four met up before the game????

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras i don't know i wasn't invited and i’m really glad about that right now

trevorzegras @/wyattjohnston_ @/t.harley48 @.tydellandrea53 send a disco ball emoji you need help

wyattjohnston_ @/trevorzegras we're good😂

tydellandrea53 @/trevorzegras we formed a gang

t.harley48 @/trevorzegras y/n's the princess, johnny is the duke, i'm the viscount, and delly asked to be a jester for some reason

tydellandrea53 damn right

trevorzegras @/yourusername you leave me for two days and decided to start a gang?! without me?!

yourusername @/trevorzegras no! delly started the gang! and just be happy you knew where i was this time!

wyattjohnston_ @/trevorzegras @/yourusername this time?

trevorzegras @/wyattjohnston_ she has a tendency to hop on a plane and not tell anyone where she's going

_quinnhughes @/wyattjohnston_ @/t.harley48 @.tydellandrea if she ever randomly shows up, do us a favor and tell one of us because there'll be a strong chance we didn't know she left

t.harley48 @_quinnhughes got it🫡

wyattjohnston_ @_quinnhughes will do

tydellandrea53 @_quinnhughes no promises

user27 sissy: ceo of "never let them know your next move"

_alexturcotte one fight wasn't enough for you? do you know how to be content?

yourusername nope

_alexturcotte at least you're honest

yourusername liars get their pants set on fire! the babies could get hurt!

_alexturcotte you make a great point, girly hughes!

jackhughes @_alexturcotte does she though?

_alexturcotte @/jackhughes she's carrying my future god child and their sibling. she could tell me that there's a new state and i’d tell her she's right

jackhughes @_alexturcotte sissy and z haven't officially named you as a god parent!

_alexturcotte @/jackhughes that's why i'm kissing ass!

yourusername @_alexturcotte the ass kissing is duly noted🤍

user91 i have been waiting for this post since the nhl dropped the game schedules

jackhughes @_quinnhughes do you want to ship sissy back to trevor yet?

_quinnhughes no i’m trying to keep her for the roadie

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes not happening

jamie.drysdale @_quinnhughes i'm already having withdrawal symptoms

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale you two get her every day! i miss my sister

jackhughes @/trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale @_quinnhughes lukey and i never get to see her! we want a turn!

lhughes_06 yeah! our turn!

colecaufield @/trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale @_quinnhughes @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 I DESERVE A TURN

_alexturcotte @/trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale @_quinnhughes @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 @.colecaufield ME FIRST! i’m pulling the ahl card! i get to see girly hughes less than any of you!

yourusername you're all a bunch of SAPS

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navree · 4 days

Note

Not sure if this has been asked, but if so then you're free to ignore this message. I was wondering if you could articulate why you like Aemond Targaryen as opposed to Daemon Targaryen. The latter seems to have more prominence in the story than the other.

I'm gonna go off the show, since that's what I'm currently more invested in when it comes to Dance stuff (I read all of F&B but the parts I reread the most are always about the Conquerors, as I love them).

So, part of it is that, quite simply, Daemon's a misogynistic ass and Aemond, as far as has been portrayed, isn't. I don't care for Daemon trying to groom his fourteen year old niece, I don't care for Daemon calling his wife misogynistic slurs when she didn't do anything except be married to him, I certainly don't care for him bashing her head in with a rock and getting away with it, I don't care for him trying to ruin Rhaenyra's reputation, I don't care for him then literally leaving her half naked in a brothel in a city notorious for being dangerous (she could have been raped, she could have been killed, the fact that she got back to the Red Keep without a scratch is a miracle), I don't care for him calling Alicent a whore because his half-rotting brother finally croaked, I don't care for his neglect of his children by Laena and even Laena herself (and I don't care for it in metaverse either, I really liked Daemon and Laena's book relationship and I hate how they screwed that AND how it's yet another example of how poorly the Velaryons, the only prominent characters of color, are being handled by the writers), and I definitely won't care for when he orchestrates Blood and Cheese to go after women who had fuck all to do with what happened to Lucerys's boring ass. He's a dick, which already isn't gonna endear me to him, and he's a sexist dick at that, and I don't like it.

Getting a bit deeper into it, my dislike of Daemon also comes from the fact that there's just nothing there. I've complained about this before, but everything that's actually interesting about Daemon seems to come primarily from stuff admitted about him after the fact or from Matt Smith's own acting choices beyond the script. In the actual writing of his character, he's an asshole and he wants to be king and he has a sexual obsession with his niece who he's known since she was a baby; that's it. It's left to the audience to then lean into Matt Smith's choices for the character, extrapolate what we can from creator interviews and some pretty heavy subtext, and then try to craft something ourselves. And even canon events about Daemon that I could get invested in, like his relationship with Nettles (problematic? yes, but it still tickles my fancy because there's a Lot there), just hasn't happened yet and isn't enough to get me pre-invested.

That's not the case with Aemond. The stuff about Aemond I enjoy and that endear me to him as a character, like his struggles with bullying, his bond with Vhagar, his contentious but ultimately loyal relationship with Aegon, his love for his mother, his internal issues surrounding justice denied and the need for retribution, even just his basic characterization in the four episodes we've seen him in, those are in the script. Those are integral parts of his character, that are present and visible and impactful to other characters and the story at large in the broader narrative. There is actual substance to Aemond as a character in a way there just isn't as Daemon. And even Daemon is going to be more "prominent" due to his connection to Rhaenyra, the storyline at the ready for Aemond is FAR more interesting than Daemon's. Daemon in season two is going to orchestrate the worst thing that happens in the Dance and then bounce around Westeros doing God knows what, the only thing I'm looking forward to from him are any interactions with Alys Rivers, but because I'm excited for her, not him. Aemond, on the other hand, has a lot of good set up. Because of his actions, he created an accident that he tried to avoid that has had profound repercussions on his family, and is tied to a horrible act that is going to affect the people closest to him. How is he going to deal with his emotions regarding his own culpability? How much hate and blame is he going to place on Daemon? On Rhaenyra? How will this impact his relationships with the people affected, his mother and his sister and his brother? How is this going to duel with his feelings of superiority, especially once he becomes Aegon's regent? What's gonna motivate him to take the regency but also never allow himself to be called king and remain steadfast for his brother? Is he going to enjoy it or not? We seem to be getting more stuff with him and Criston, how's that gonna be affected by Blood and Cheese and their subsequent military campaign together?

Like, see? There's so much more richness available for Aemond's character, because there's so much more to Aemond's character than Daemon's. Daemon may be more prominent, yes, but he's incredibly shallow on a writing level, and combined with the fact that he's mostly a shitty person, he becomes something I dislike (and I love characters who are shitty people, my favorite character in The Magnus Archives is Peter Lukas and I constantly blab about how I want his cruel sadism to be given more attention by the fandom). So prominence doesn't really factor into it for me, because there's just too much working against Daemon beyond that, and conversely, too much in Aemond's favor.

#personal #answered #anonymous #anti daemon targaryen #the only reason daemon isn't on a writing level that we see with characters like corlys and rhaenys #(who were both bungled spectacularly my god)#is that we see more of him since he's in almost all the episodes of the show in some form #so at least he's got a minor degree of consistency

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caddy-crystal-queen · 2 years

Text

Okay on tonight's episode of who in the GoT/HoTD Fandom need to be slapped, I'm gonna address two issues cause I'm pissed and honestly it deserves mentioning.

Gonna start with the most recent thing I heard. Wtf is with Fandoms driving people off of social media with their nonsensical bullshit?! Not to drag another Fandom into this but Star Wars is notorious for this bullshit, and I seriously thought we moved past this! Clearly not!

Can Fandoms just stop doing this? The most recent victim of this nonsense is apparently the actor playing Young Alicent Hightower, Emily Carey.

*WHACK*

STOP. BULLYING. PEOPLE!

Be. A. Nice. Human!

Holy tap dancing Horus! She's an actress literally just doing her job and giving her perspective on her character! This ties in to these actors being people at the end of the day! You don't bully someone for simply stating an opinion, an opinion which doesn't harm anyone. First off that's just rude as fuck, you can disagree with someone and still believe they have a right to their opinion! Miss Carey has literally done nothing wrong except...apparently saying her character isn't a villain? Um...when did this become a crime? When did this become one of the worst things apparently you can do?

Holy shit there should be a support group for all these actor chased off social media but Fandom entitled fuckwits who can't see in front of their faces or think with their brains!

Now this is not being a support of the character Alicent Hightower. I've read Fire and Blood, I know what happens. But this isn't even about the character, this is about the actress. Like the rest of us she's allowed to have her opinion and state it. All YOU have to do, if you disagree, is ignore the tweet, walk the other way, and leave it the fuck alone. Anyone who bullies people, not just famous people, off the internet for a harmless (notice I said harmless, meaning they aren't saying something deeply troubling about real life issues) opinion deserves a swift kick in the ass and a sharp slap to the face!

Fuck. You. All!

Now, the second thing I'm going to address has actually been a problem since casting for the show was announced. People, what kind of piece of shit sits there and talks shit about another person's appearance?!

Yeah, I'm mad yall mother fuckers got me defending Matt Smith up in this bitch.

Again.

*WHACK!*

Quit. With the high school. Bullying. TACTICS!!!!!

Like I said how fucking hard is it just to be a decent human being?! Like what has to go so wrong in your life that you decided to just take your bullshit out on someone you don't even know? And going for their appearance? That's just fucking low.

I'm gonna just get this out of the way: I'm not a fan of the guy. I never really have been. I don't think he's ugly, like everyone seems to be saying, but he just doesn't do it for me personally, and it's absolutely nothing against him. I'm sure Matt Smith is an awesome dude IRL, and he seems pretty chill as far as I know. I respect the guy for his acting ability and his passion but that's about it. I see why a lot of people find him appealing but he doesn't do it for me.

That being said, I am so sick of seeing comments like "Oh, well he looks like he's the product of incest anyway!". Like dude...that is not cool and no one should be saying that about anyone. I may not find him attractive personally but I'm not sitting here behind a phone screen bashing the appearance of a dude I don't know. Nothing, not a thing, gives anyone the right to say things like that and bully someone for something they literally have no control over.

It's seriously some petty ass bullshit and it needs to stop. Maybe he doesn't need me to defend him but goddamn yall are just doing too damn much and being a POS about it. Your insults, name calling, and bullying are completely uncalled for!

Stop. Your. Bullshit!

Be. A nice. Human!!!!

It literally costs nothing!

Fucking assholes...

#house of the dragon #matt smith #emily carey #fandom nonsense #internet bullying #name calling #petty bullshit #daemon targaryen #alicent hightower

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nobodysuspectsthebutterfly · 3 years

Note

Hello! If you don't mind me asking, are you planning on watching House of the Dragon? I'm personally unsure about it. I was cautiously optimistic about it since D&D are not involved, but the recent casting news have been ugh disappointing imo. What do you think?

Hey anon! Sorry to say I kind of mind you asking because my inbox is still closed (to everyone except my secret Santas, which is why the ask page is accessible at all), but then I realized it’s possible if you’re on the mobile app only, you haven’t seen said note in my askbox, or my FAQ, or anything of the sort. And with older metas of mine being reblogged recently, it’s possible you may be confused. (I hope you’re on mobile only and not just ignoring my requests.) So I wanted to inform you of that... but also, y’know, I kind of wanted to make a post about the HotD cast anyway? And this ask is as good a prompt as any... so, you’re lucky, but please don’t push your luck. ;)

So, straight up: I currently have no plans to watch House of the Dragon. HBO is not getting any of my goddamn money, I don’t trust like that. And hunting down illegal livestreaming sites is a pain in the ass and I regret ever doing it for GoT, as well as regretting getting drunk every weekend enough to dampen my senses to ever tolerate that show. Yeah it’s different showrunners and writers, I know. It’s still (mostly) the same executives at HBO and even if the pervert producer is gone (or is he?), you know they still just want to sell sex and violence and dragons to an audience that thinks fantasy is for geeks.

Also, considering that Fire & Blood’s story of Dance of the Dragons has very little actual narrative or dialogue, and the historical record is deliberately untrustworthy, that gives them pretty much full rein to do whatever they like with the story and characterization and words without even being slightly obliged to GRRM at all. Furthermore, since the story is wholly political with virtually none of the magical side of ASOIAF (excepting dragons), and honestly does not have much in the way of themes or depth that main ASOIAF or even D&E has, I think it will be very hard for an adaptation to show even those brief sparks of quality that used to make me wistful GoT couldn’t be that good all the time and eventually just made me frustrated and depressed. Note I do like the history and characters of the Dance despite myself, despite its many many many textual issues, but I don’t need to see an adaptation, I have a very visual imagination. I don’t watch a lot of television to begin with, I don’t see why I should start again with this.

However, I’m not going to avoid spoilers or discussion, and I’ll probably follow the show the tumblr way, through gifsets and video clips and people bitching on their blogs etc. If, somehow, by some miracle of good screenwriting and acting, the show manages to transcend its source material, I’m sure I will be informed. And then, if and only if then, I may try watching. (Without, of course, giving HBO any of my goddamn money.) We shall see.

(Though I certainly don’t know why anyone in Targ standom would ever watch a Dance adaptation considering almost every Targaryen and everyone else in the story is terrible except Helaena and the kids, and considering how the story ends, unless y’all are gluttons for punishment? (I do not comprehend hatewatching, sorry.) It’ll probably be fun at first to see the adventures of those “precious silver douchebags” (to borrow a friend’s tag), but eventually rocks fall, everyone dies, including the girlboss you know you’ll hope the story will be changed enough that she succeeds. Just letting you know now, she won’t.)

That said. I’ve been following the casting news and I think the hate/fear/wild screaming is entirely overblown. Yeah, I know, but wait, just listen. On Friday I officially welcomed @naomimakesart to the “favorite character is now played by an actor who looks nothing like most fanart and is mostly known for wildly different roles” club. I still remember that day in September 2009 when my brother texted me “yarp”... and that right there is the thing. Yeah. Rory McCann looks very little like most pre-GoT Sandor fanart... but many fans grew to love him anyway. (There are some who never did, of course. And yeah the character went off the rails by the end, but truly, who didn’t. Having seen his audition, having spoken to him and heard him wistfully talk about book scenes he loved, I’m convinced if Rory had only been given Sandor’s actual scenes and such, he would’ve killed it. Sigh. Deep, deep sigh.)

And Rory isn’t the only one. Neither of the actors for Jaime and Cersei were considered “beautiful” enough at first. I recall very clearly people bitching about Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (about his nose particularly?) because they had wanted Tarzan-era Travis Fimmel to be Jaime. (Seeing people bitch because current-Fimmel isn’t playing Daemon made me laugh out loud for both BEYONCE?! meme -type “why would you ever cast him omg he doesn’t fit my headcanon Daemon at all”, and amazing amounts of fandom flashbacks.) Lena Headey was “too square-jawed”, “too mean-looking” (since at the beginning you should never be able to guess she’s evil), “too dark-complected”, “too mannish”, not at all attractive enough. (Tricia Helfer was the most common “but I wanted” for Cersei, btw.) And of course “they don’t remotely look like twins, ugh!” Note, there’s receipts for all of this, none of it is made up. (Unfortunately.) Those two actors are just the ones whose casting wank I recall most clearly, particularly because oh how the turn tables.

Also. You know, there’s a post with Matt Smith and Mark Simonetti’s TWOIAF Daemon going around with shrieks of horror... and I’m finding it maddening in a “am I crazy? am I the crazy one???” way, because Matt looks like the painting. Their features are not that dissimilar.

Same deepset eyes. Same cheekbones of doom. Same thin lips. Same protruding chin. Same high forehead. Same invsible eyebrows ffs. Matt has a squarer jaw, and a longer more rectangular face, and a wider nose, but considering that Daemon’s features are not described in the text, and this is the only official ASOIAF artwork that shows Daemon’s face straight on, I can for sure see why he was probably shortlisted to begin with. And that’s not even getting into to his role in The Crown, which I’ve heard is very well played with politics and palace intrigue... and if you doubt Smith can play seductive/roguish and/or evil (depending on how you LARP as a Westeros historian), or look good with long hair... well. I do not want to watch the movie, but this trailer is disturbingly enlightening.

And as for Rhaenyra... y’all know this show is starting at the beginning of the story, right? When she’s a teenager? Not a voluptuous MILF? Yeah, Emma D’Arcy doesn’t look like a Magali Villeneueve painting (though who does, good lord), but you know who she does look remarkably like? Harry Lloyd.

Same jawline. Same nose. Same thin lips. Same sharp cheekbones. Notably, same kind of sharp cheekbones and deep-set eyes as Matt Smith. HBO evidently has a concept of a “Targaryen look” that’s a little bit quirkier than supermodel-Greek statue-gods on earth, yeah, fine. But it’s consistent, and they look like family, and that-- that is good casting.

And yeah, in a few months to a year or so, you’ll see them in costume and wigs and makeup, you’ll see them in motion and speaking lines, and go Oh. That’s different. Never mind. And while people will make fanart of the show depictions of the characters and those will probalby get popular, they’ll also keep doing fanart of their pre-show headcanons, and those too will be popular. (God knows when I draw or visualize book!Sandor, Rory does not come to mind, lol.) Either way, there’s no reason to panic. We’ll live.

(Though will we live well? Got to wait on the writing and showrunning for that, alas.)

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kagaintheskywithdiamonds · 5 years

Conversation

every episode of the Twilight Zone season 1 summarized

Where is Everybody?: nightmarish “last human being on earth” scenario turns out to just be a military experiment (wait shit that’s worse)

One for the Angels: man cheats uses capitalism to outsmart Death. I don’t know why Death would have any interest in purchasing consumer goods but apparently he does.

Mr. Denton on Doomsday: how to end alcoholism? guns. how to solve the gun crisis in america? break everyone’s hands. your move, democrats.

The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine: “fuck reality I’m just gonna literally disappear into the world of fiction and there’s nothing wrong with that”

Walking Distance: time travel and nostalgia and inflation (the money kind not the fetish kind)

Escape Clause: a man sells his soul in exchange for immortality and I want to say “it goes about as well as you would expect” but honestly it’s even worse than that.

The Lonely: is it valid to develop romantic feelings for an android? absolutely not. fuck you.

Time Enough at Last: :( he deserved better

Perchance to Dream: inception mixed with a healthy dose of “iF yOu DiE in YoUr DReaM YoU dIE in ReAl LifE”

Judgement Night: Nazi fucking dies (10 hour loop)

And When the Sky was Opened: what if we were all erased from reality one-by-one? haha just kidding… unle

What You Need: unstoppable asshole meets immovable cinnamon roll

The Four of Us are Dying: shapeshifter fucks with a bunch of people

Third from the Sun: a small group of humans takes off in a stolen government space ship to escape nuclear holocaust. What Happens Next Will Shock You (or at least it shocked me)

I Shot an Arrow into the Air: imagine Lord of the Flies but instead of being stuck on some island in the middle of nowhere they’re all just… in a tiny patch of wilderness just beyond some highway somewhere. and they’re grown-ass adults. but they still kill each other.

The Hitch-Hiker: woman loses her goddamn mind over an omnipresent hitchhiker that’s done literally nothing bad or threatening except exist on the side of the road everywhere she goes

The Fever: man in denial about his gambling addiction claims that the slot machine is a living entity that is targeting him personally

The Last Flight: man displaced in time manages to get back home just in time to die

The Purple Testament: man has a sort of superpower where he can tell which people are going to die soon by looking into their faces. then he sees it in his own reflection. …and there’s nothing he can do about it so he fucking dies.

Elegy: mannequin challenge (genocide route)

Mirror Image: your doppelgänger is the horrible customer that retail employees tell stories about on social media

The Monsters are Due on Maple Street: a typical witch hunt story but instead of witches it’s aliens. and in this case the aliens are real but they’re just watching earth from a distance and laughing at all the humans killing each other over accusations of being aliens

A World of Difference: hardcore method acting

Long Live Walter Jameson: problematic age gap

People are Alike all Over: humans are dicks and that’s a universal constant

Execution: I said CONSENSUAL time travel, rebecca!!!

The Big Tall Wish: when magic happens you don’t question it

A Nice Place to Visit: this is the bad place

Nightmare as a Child: creepy little girl is creepy (and salty)

A Stop at Willoughby: suicide via maladaptive daydreaming

The Chaser: love potions are a date rape drug but at least they come with a healthy dose of karma

A Passage for Trumpet: *sigh* you’re suicidal again? really?

Mr. Bevis: at the end of a particularly shitty day a Matt Smith-looking dude learns he has a guardian angel and then that guardian angel roasts his entire life and his personality and his interests and says he’s not even allowed to wear bow ties anymore

The After Hours: mannequin challenge (neutral route)

The Mighty Casey: the Tin Man is a baseball player but then he gets a heart and suddenly he sucks at baseball so he decides to be a social worker instead

A World of his Own: first I WRITE my characters and then i FUCK my characters and then i D E S T R O Y my characters!!!! (and THEN i destroy Rod Serling)

#i hope this show has enough of a fandom on this site that this post is entertaining to someone #the twilight zone #tz

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pcygoldenchild · 5 years

Text

Mr. and Mrs. Park

✨summary: You and your husband were both agents. Madly in love with each other and your jobs. But what would happen if you needed to face each other?

✨warnings: NSFW, violence, sexual intercourse, dirty talk (Nsfw in part two)

✨A/N: I’ve worked on this for sooo long. I restarted maybe 10 times because I just really wasn’t going my favorite movie justice. Based off of ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’. ( Anon: chanyeol spy au? like him and reader are like mr and mrs. smith????) *not my gif*

When you were little, you wanted to be a princess. Then you wanted to be a veterinarian for a while. Around 14 you wanted to be a hair stylist for Beyoncé. That only lasted about a month before you decided you’d be a doctor. Your mom was one and she seemed happy. She always said she wanted to make sure you had an example to look at for wherever you went, what ever you grew up to be. What did you actually turn out to be? Funny story.

“I know this seems like a difficult assignment but I swear it’s really not.” was all your boss kept saying. But it was all bullshit.

“Matt, I’m not doing this. Get someone else to do it.” you said taking a grape and eating it. You walked around your kitchen island and grabbed a water from the fridge. He had his hand out but you just rolled your eyes.

“In what fucked up world is killing my husband not a difficult assignment? In fact why would that even be an assignment? What’s he got on him?” you asked. You knew everything about him from birth till now. You had to know everything. You can’t trust anyone in this business. Everyone is a snake. Everyone is out to benefit for themselves no matter what it takes. And you were married to him, so knowing everything was just a protection for your sake. Love dies just as quick as a bullet leaves a barrel. At least you thought you knew everything about him.

“Chanyeol...uh...well...,” Matt stuttered. You raised your eyebrows and threw a grape at him.

“Spit it out. I don’t have all day and if i’m going to do this I need an actual reason, and a damn good one.” you said. As nonchalant as you sounded you were on offense.

“Well I can’t really tell you. It’s pretty confidential and if you knew you’d probably think it’s not a good enough reason to kill him.” he said walking around the counter.

“Matt I’m not killing my husband for a ‘not so good enough reason that I can’t tell you’. Are you insane? Is there something I’m missing here?” you questioned. He seemed really on edge but wouldn’t just spit it out. It would be a lot easier for both of you.

“Hey babe.” Chanyeol said as he came into the kitchen. He came over and kissed you before looking at Matt standing there like a deer caught in headlights.

“So how was your golfing trip with the guys?” you said to ease the suffocating tension in the room. You took his duffel bag and gave him the sandwich you made for yourself. Matt stayed quiet but he looked like he was thinking.

“It was as boring as you think it was, maybe more. I know you like your alone time or whatever but sending me with those dumb fucks to a golfing resort for three days is just cruel.” he said sitting down and eating. You walked up behind him and rubbed his shoulders laughing.

“What’s Matt doing here staring at me like I just killed his puppy and made him watch.” he said, again breaking the silence. You looked at Matt and he was still standing at the island with his contemplating face on.

“I don’t know babe. Matt would you like to tell me why you’re here?” you said leaning on Chanyeol who faced him as well. He suddenly snapped out of it and walked over to the two of you.

“Yes, I was actually waiting for you. I need to talk to you about a rather important assignment.” he said smirking at you.

“Ok wants the assignment then?” you asked crossing your arms. He smirked brighter as he looked between you and Chanyeol.

“I wasn’t talking to you Mrs. Park. This is an assignment for Mr. Park.” he said. This little shit of a pea brain was up to something.

“Sure. We can talk in my office right after I change out of these awful clothes.” Chanyeol said getting up and kissing your cheek before walking off up the stairs. You waited until he was out of view and listening range.

“I swear to God Matt, if you try anything I will kill you.” you threatened with your finger in his face. He laughed and grabbed your hand patting it.

“Now now little one. What can I do? I have no skill to kill a fly nonetheless kill Mr. Park. We are just talking dear.” he said walking away. You wanted to say something else but Chanyeol came back into the kitchen and called for Matt who smugly walked away.

An hour later you were in the bedroom. It was only 8 pm but you were exhausted. You worked out all day and then had to deal with Matt and his shit. You were in the bathroom when you heard the bedroom door open and close. You saw Chanyeol take off his shirt in the bathroom mirror and watched him walk towards you. He stood at the door leaning on the doorframe staring at you moisturizing your face.

“What were you two talking about before I got home?” he suddenly asks. You turn to him and have to think fast of what to say. You don’t know what Matt talked to him about but it couldn’t be good if he asked this.

“Nothing much.” you shrugged and walked up to him kissing his left peck before walking past him into the bedroom. He followed and turned the light off when you two were tucked in bed.

“Do you trust me?” he asked when you were almost asleep. You nodded as if you were not listening because you were so tired but the question had you wide awake. What did they talk about to have him acting this weird?

The next morning you woke up to an empty bed. There was a note on the fridge from Chanyeol saying he went to meet up with Matt. You let out an internal groan and decided to get to the bottom of this.

“Hey Matt. I’ll do it.” you said into the phone. You called him to let him know you’d take the assignment but only under your conditions.

“I’ll do it if you tell me what the fuck you talked to him about yesterday and why it’s so important that he dies.” you said. He laughed in the other end and let out a content sigh.

“Mrs. Park, your husband is a highly wanted man. And since I work with him, threats come to me first so I need to eliminate the cause of those threats. It’s a simple fix.” he said. And then it all made sense.

“You selfish bastard. The only ‘fix’ is for me of all people to kill my husband? Do you know how bat shit you sound? I really think you need to see someone.” you barked out. Then another thing hit you.

“Not crazy Mrs. Park. Just making survival of the fittest a reality.” he commented and it sent your brain into overdrive. Survival of the fittest. He wasn’t talking about himself and Chanyeol. He was talking about you and Chanyeol.

“You asked him to kill me didn’t you?” you ask to yourself but out loud.

“Smart girl.” he laughs. You sit there silently running your hand over your face and through your hair. This was all fucked.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have Mr. Park waiting for me as we speak.” he said before he hung up. You we left in disbelief but should have expected it. You two were very hated spies. If someone had the chance to kill either of you they would, but no one was lucky enough. But now, your own boss was willing to kill either of you off to save his own ass. It’s the world you live in but you were a little hurt. He set you up and now you and Chanyeol knew what he proposed to one another.

A little later Chanyeol came home and went straight to his office. You guess he didn’t know you were home. You walked downstairs and waited at the office door a little when you heard him talking on the phone.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do? I don’t know if she had the same assignment that I have but there is no way she’d take it right? She’s not going to kill me. Right?” you heard him rambling on. The phone was on speaker and you heard Baekhyun’s voice. You don’t know why he always called him; he was the worst in a crisis.

“She definitely has the same assignment and is most likely going to kill you but look on the bright side. At least I’ll be able to marry her after.” he joked. It was always him that cracked the highly inappropriately timed jokes.

“Baekhyun I’m not marrying you even if Chanyeol dies. We all know my next choice is Junmyeon.” you say as you walk in the room catching Chanyeol by surprise.

“Dude...she was in the room?” Baekhyun whispers. Chanyeol explains and says he has to go. You sit down on the desk in front of him and pull him between your legs. He was tense; as expected. But you wished he wouldn’t doubt you.

“Relax babe. I’m not going to kill you.” you laugh. He lets out a fake laugh and looks up at the ceiling rubbing his eyes. He lets out a deep sigh as you rub your hands over his body.

“Babe? You don’t seriously think I’d kill you?” you ask incredulously. He looks down at you and grabs your face in his hands. His eyes were full of hurt but also disbelief.

“Matt told me you accepted.” he said flatly. Before you could respond a knife was to your back. Chanyeol was always fast like that. But you were used to his skills. You knew his next move before he could do it. You’ve just grown to let him win sometimes. All you could do was laugh.

“You can quit the act babe. I know you won’t kill me. And you know I won’t kill you.” you laugh out. He sighs and drops the knife, leaning his forehead on yours.

“What are we going to do? One of us has to die. It’s just the way this works.” he breaths out. You kiss him and wrap his hands around your waist. He massages your ass out of habit and you smirk into his lips.

“Who’s doing the honors babe? I think I can go out but it has to be pretty extravagant. A big explosion or big shoot out.” you joke. He laughs before kissing your lips.

“You always did like big things.” he replies. He was right. Although he just threw a sexual innuendo because he was a large man with large...parts. But you also like big assignments and finales. It was your thing.

“What about you hmm? I think the way you’d die would be from falling off a cliff or something. You can be very clumsy.” you joke again. He pinched your ass and pouted.

“You get to have explosions and I get pushed off a cliff? Absolutely not.” he defended. You smiled at him and kissed him again.

“One of us will die. But I’m not done living my life with you.” you smile.

“Well... sayonara Matt.” he smiled.

#pcygoldenchild #exo #exo fanfic #exo smut #chanyeol smut #exo scenario #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol x you #chanyeol fic

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5hfanfiction · 6 years

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Wicked Games (Chapter 19)

“I’m selfish. I want you all to myself, I swear, you don’t need nobody else.” - PnB Rock

A small, faint buzzing woke me from my nap. I sat up, wiping my eyes and then rolled over to grab my phone off the nightstand.

Dinah: 21st birthday party for Missy tonight at our place! 8 oclock!

I sighed deeply at that text. I had totally forgotten it was Missy’s birthday. Should I really go to that? A part of me wanted to so I could try to talk to Lauren, but a part of me didn’t want to so I could keep away from Lauren, her drama, and all of the feelings she stirs up inside of me.

The girl had done her typical ignoring act during practice and once practice was over she was out of the locker room quick as lightning, probably to avoid me. I tried to text her afterwards, but didn’t get a response. I looked hopefully at my phone one more time to see if she had responded and.. nothing.

I peeked over at the clock. It was almost seven-thirty. For the past week, this is typically when Lauren would be here. Her beautiful body on full display for me. Not tonight I guess.

I couldn’t help myself. I got on snap chat and sure enough, Lauren had added a picture to her story. I opened it up and gulped. It was an astoundingly intimidating photo of her in full makeup. I couldn’t stop staring at her green eyes. All I could think about was her being here with me this past week, how I made her body mine, how those eyes looked at me with such passion. I turned off my phone and stood up. I had to go. I had to see her. I had to get her to come home with me tonight.

I got dressed in my best outfit and put on makeup as quickly as I could. I left my house about twenty minutes after eight o'clock and got to their place about ten minutes later. Once inside, I realized the party wasn’t just women’s basketball. The men’s team was there too, along with some people from a few other sports, and some other people I didn’t really recognize. It was a little more crowded than I was expecting. I was met with greetings from my teammates and I went to each one and gave them a hug. I stopped and chatted with the birthday girl for a few moments as well. I still didn’t see Lauren yet, but whilst looking around I found a different brunette. Keana was there.

We made eye contact and she lifted her cup at me in greeting. I walked over to her.

“Hey,” I grinned.

“Hi gorgeous,” she complimented. “Guess you decided to come out and have a little fun?”

“Sometimes I can have fun,” I mentioned unconvincingly.

“Really? I would have never guessed. You’re always so tense.. well, the two times I’ve seen you, you’re tense.”

“Am I tense now?” I implored.

She took a sip from her cup and gave me the once over. “I don’t know.. I’m not sure.”

I laughed, slightly unnerved by the look she gave me, “I’ll take that.”

That is when Dinah came up to me with an overly aggressive hug.

“Woah.. hey buddy,” I chuckled, nearly falling backwards. The party had only just started, but Dinah was already intoxicated. They must have pregamed.

Dinah was begging me to come with her to play beer pong and she just wasn’t taking no for an answer, so I politely excused myself from Keana and went back to the kitchen. “We got next!” Dinah shouted as we entered the room.

That is where I found Lauren. She was standing next to a guy on the men’s team named Matt. He was of average height, slightly taller than her, with a toned build. He had short light blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I hated to admit it, but he was pretty attractive. They were partnered up on one side of the beer pong table and Ally and Normani were partnered on the other side. Micah and Missy were also in the kitchen along with a couple other guys on the basketball team.

I almost started laughing because it wasn’t looking good for Mani and Ally. They still had seven cups left and Lauren and Matt were on their last two cups. “Guys… you gotta pick it up! Come on now,” I chided to Mani and Ally. Ally threw her hands in the air and screamed “Mila!” as she ran and practically tackled me in a hug. “Man, everyone’s acting like they didn’t just see me this morning.” Normani, clearly the only one here not completely intoxicated, shook her head and gave me a side hug, “even Lebron has off nights,” she tried to justify her poor beer pong performance.

“Who said you’re Lebron? You’re more like JR Smith,” I teased which earned an arm punch from her because JR is her least favorite player on the Cavs. I threw my hands up, pleading innocence, “kidding, kidding.”

Reluctantly I finally turned to the other side of the table. Matt waved in greeting and said, “Hi, Camila.” To which I responded with only a fake smile. Lauren didn’t even acknowledge me and instead complained, “Can we get the game started again?”

I crossed my arms and shook my head. Guess it’s gonna be one of those nights again. Although she wasn’t looking at me, I certainly was looking at her. She was wearing a black and white striped two-piece jumpsuit that was definitely hugging her figure in all of the right places. She wore her hair straight, with it all tucked on one side of her shoulder currently, so the soft skin on her other shoulder was exposed. She was looking elegant, but sexy as hell. I eventually tore my eyes from her and sauntered over to the kitchen counter to fix myself a drink while I waited. I’d only just started pouring the Bacardi into my cup when I heard Lauren and Matt cheering behind me. I turned, raising my eyebrow to find the game was over and Matt and Lauren had completely blown Mani and Ally out. Mani and Ally were each chugging their loser cups while Lauren and Matt were hugging. I did not like his hand placement one bit. It was on the small of her back just barely above her ass. I was already getting irritated. I downed the little bit of Bacardi in my cup, as Dinah called me over.

“Lets do this Mila! We gotta put a stop to their winning streak!” she slurred.

“Yeah, seriously,” Mani groaned after she finished her drink and wiped her mouth. “They’ve won the past four games.”

I looked up to find Matt whispering something in Lauren’s ear. Whatever he said, Lauren was smiling and nodding. Aggravation bottled up and caused me to blurt out, “hey!” I made myself jump I said it so loud. Both of their heads snapped to look at me. Trying to play it cool, I lowered my pitch and asked, “You two ready to start?”

Finally the two of them separated. I was determined to win. Whatever this was going on with them two, it needed to stop. I peeked at Lauren as Dinah rolled the ping pong balls across the table to Matt. Lauren had been looking at me. I stiffened up and when Lauren realized she had been caught she smirked. Smirked! What the hell is that? She looked away because Matt was handing her a ball.

I shook my head, I wasn’t going to let her distract me anymore.

We got started and Matt took the first shot, which he sank. Dinah groaned in response. I watched Lauren intently as she leaned forward making her top raise up a little and expose some skin of her stomach. Her eyebrows creased and she bit her lip in concentration. Gosh, she looked so cu- wait, no I wasn’t letting her distract me. Instead, I decided to focus on the cups. I watched as a ball suddenly fell into one of the cups in the back row.

I frowned and Dinah groaned once again, much louder and much more obnoxiously this time. ‘Damn they’re good.’ The sounds of irritation from Dinah were accompanied by cheers from Matt and Lauren to my dismay.

I picked the balls out of the cups, and moved them to the side. Once again, I avoided Lauren’s gaze at all costs. I already knew those eyes of hers would make me miss completely. I focused on the cups on the right side of the pyramid and took my shot. The ball bounced on one cup then fell into the cup directly behind it. It was my turn to smirk.

Dinah instantly yelled, “That’s two cups, baby!”

I shook my head at her volume, but watched as she took her shot. She airballed completely. She pouted deeply, then turned to me and shrugged. I laughed and patted her shoulder, “You’re just warmin’ up,” although I expected nothing less from her the rest of the game.

The next round Matt missed, but Lauren sank another cup. In response, I made a cup in the corner and Dinah miraculously happened to make the same cup so we got balls back. Unfortunately, we both missed on our second chance.

The game went back and forth until we each had only two cups left. The partygoers around us were cheering me and Dinah along since we were the overwhelming underdogs in this game. Although it was just a simple party game, for some reason I felt there was more at stake. Maybe it was sad, but I wanted to prove to Lauren that I was better than this Matt guy. I knew a stupid beer pong game is not going to determine whether or not Matt is better than me, but I really did not like how flirtatious they were being with eachother so I did not want him to beat me in any way.

My heart was starting to beat pretty fast when I picked up the ping pong ball. I was feeling some pressure. Except for the one shot she made, Dinah had been relatively useless throughout the game because she was too drunk to see the cups properly, so it had pretty much all been up to me. I really wanted to beat Matt and Lauren and put an end to whatever was going on with them.

I was starting to focus really hard on one of the cups when I noticed Lauren out of my periphery. I had done a great job of avoiding looking at her despite multiple attempts by her to distract me, but this time I failed to ignore her. She leaned over the table right behind the cup I was looking at, her shirt hung loosely enough for me to get a great view of her cleavage. My jaw tightened as the cup blurred away from my focus and instead her boobs perched above a push-up bra became my entire field of vision. Almost immediately, my thoughts went to a dirty place, reliving memories of that part of her body pressed up against me. After a few seconds of staring I came to and looked up to meet her eyes for the first time since the game started. That typical arrogant smirk of hers was back. She knew exactly what she was doing. “Are you going to take your shot, Camz?” Lauren teased suggestively.

I blinked in embarassment and threw the ball. It airballed, landing just in front of Lauren’s chest. 'Wow, I really could not have made it more obvious’ I chastised myself internally. The stupid grin on Lauren’s face as she stood back up was enough to have me teetering on the brink of rage. Dinah shot and missed, of course. Now I was starting to sweat, my composure slipping away.

It only got worse when Matt got his cup. Lauren exclaimed, “Yes!” wrapping her arm around him. I could only watch in horror as the two of them smiled at each other, their faces inches apart. Luckily that did not last long. Lauren leaned back, removing her arm from him. Her face constricted again with concentration as she stared at the lonely cup infront of us. I crossed my fingers behind my back, desperately hoping she would miss.

I was sorely disappointed. I heard a clunk as the ball landed inside of the cup. Although the rest of the party groaned like Dinah, Matt started jumping up and down, screaming “Yes!” over and over again. I didn’t know why he was so excited, but I also felt pretty stupid for how lousy I was feeling about losing a dumb party game. Unfortunately for me, there is no redemption shot in this household. I gladly took the assortment of beers inside of the losers’ cup and downed that sucker quickly. The taste was horrendous and my face cringed as soon as I finished the cup, but at least I started feeling a buzz pretty soon afterwards.

Ally called us all into the living room because Missy was about to blow out the candles of her cake. From then on, I did my best to refocus on the true purpose of this party and be a good friend for Missy. We all sang happy birthday for her and cheered her on as she got to take some of her first legal drinks. I enjoyed myself a big fat piece of cake and sat on the couch amongst my friends.

I was joking around with Ally and Micah when I saw it. Across the room was Lauren, seated next to Matt. They were sitting close, too close. My laugh automatically stopped. Both of them had drinks in their hands and even punched them together as if they were cheering something. Then it happened. Matt leaned forward and placed his lips on hers.

Within an instant, my blood was boiling and my fists were clenched so hard, my knuckles turned white and my nails were drawing blood in my palms. I am jealous. Probably more jealous than I have ever been in my entire life. What was even more infuriating was that I didn’t even have a right to be angry. Lauren and I aren’t in an exclusive relationship and we never were going to be, but still, I was furious. Unable to tear my eyes away from what was happening across the room, I saw Matt’s hand begin to wander up her thigh and I felt like I was about to break my teeth I was clenching my jaw so hard. The worst part was that she was reciprocating.

“Mila? Are you ok?” I vaguely heard coming from the direction of Ally and Micah.

“Fine,” I spat out.

I had felt jealousy before with Emma, but I never felt it on this level. With Emma I was never concerned because I felt secure in our relationship. There was no security in my relationship with Lauren, or whatever the hell we are. I felt completely threatened by Matt. He could mess everything up between us. What if Lauren no longer wanted me? What if I lost my opportunity to make her fall for me forever? What if she would stop making late night trips to see me? 'God, I’m being selfish.’ I thought to myself. In all reality, would I even want to have sex with her if she was messing around with Matt at the same time? For a sad moment, I considered what that may be like. What have I become? Where my sexual desires are more important than my sanity and my dignity. But if I was being truly frank with myself.. it was never just about sex with Lauren.

I was about to look away and try to move on with my night, but Lauren pulled away from Matt slightly. However, Matt traveled to her neck, continuing his invasion of my woman. Lauren’s piercing green eyes looked straight at me. My mouth fell open slightly at her nerve. Her lips were curled up into a tight smile. It was as if she was challenging me, daring me to stop her.

That was the straw that broke me. I painfully ripped my eyes from her and abruptly rose from my seat. I charged back to the kitchen, shoving one of the freshman on our team aside so I could pick up a beer bottle out of the pack. I popped the top off and started chugging it. I got about half way down before I got a better idea.

I made my way through the party crowd, keeping my eyes peeled for what I was looking for. I found her standing with a couple of guys on the basketball team a few feet away from where Lauren and Matt were getting cozy.

I sauntered straight past Lauren, not even giving her a glance, and stepped up to Keana. “That offer still stand?” I questioned her, not caring about whatever conversation she had been having with those guys who were clearly drooling over her.

She looked me up and down, an eyebrow slightly raised in surprise, but her lips turned upwards in pleasure. “For you? Absolutely.”

I took a big swig of the beer, grimacing as I struggled to handle the violent taste inside the bottle. I nodded towards the hall, “Then let’s go then.”

Feeling especially petty, I took Keana into Lauren’s room. It wasn’t until I shut the door that I started second guessing what I was doing.

While I was trying to consider what my next move would be, I heard Keana pipe up behind me, “You sure Lauren won’t mind?”

The mere mention of Lauren stirred something inside of me. I turned to face her and responded harshly, “I don’t care and since when do you?”

“Woah, what do you mean by that?” she looked at me with her eyebrows knitted.

Immediately I softened, already feeling guilty for taking out my emotions about Lauren on her. “Nothing, sorry.”

We made eye contact and my pulse quickened. She raised an eyebrow, looking at me with anticipation. I took one more sip of liquid courage and then set the bottle down on Lauren’s nightstand. Leaning forward, I had just barely grazed Keana’s lips before she lightly pushed me backwards.

“You know, what I meant by distraction didn’t have to be sex,” Keana commented carefully.

I sighed with relief. It was like she read my mind. I didn’t really want to do this. I didn’t really know what I was doing to be honest. Seeing Lauren being with somebody else made me snap. Although I barely even kissed Keana, I already felt ashamed by my actions. It felt so high school. I never would have pictured myself acting this way, but Lauren makes me feel things in such a raw way that I almost lose all self-control with her around.

“..If you need to talk.. we can just talk..” Keana’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded, taking a seat on Lauren’s bed with dejection. Keana sat down next to me. I could not believe that this model status girl even wanted to have sex with me in the first place, but now I was even more taken aback by how gentle and kind she was being. She seemed to pick up on exactly how apprehensive I was and she was not forcing me to do anything.

We both just rested there for a few moments in silence. I honestly didn’t know where to begin. I also didn’t know how much Keana knew about me and Lauren. Apparently she knew enough.

“Is this about Lauren?” Keana suddenly spoke. It had been so quiet aside from the distant noises from the party that it almost shocked me. I nodded in confession.

“Look, Lauren’s my friend, but sometimes she doesn’t know a good thing when she’s got it.”

I tweaked an eyebrow upwards, speaking for the first time in minutes. “Ha.. funny, I was thinking that about myself.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed. “I have a girl back home.. I have a lot of history with her.. Not to sound cocky, but I could probably make her mine right now if I wanted to.” I was worried I was saying too much to this relative stranger, but to my surprise, Keana was listening intently.

“Well, I guess that’s the thing,” she murmured.

“What?” I was curious to see what this outsider had to say about my situation.

“If you wanted to, she would be yours right now.. so I guess deep down that’s not what you really want.”

I stared at her, speechless. Was it really that simple? Had this girl I barely met figured me out before I could? That’s not the truth though.. right?

“What if I do really want her, but I’m too scared to give her another opportunity to hurt me?” I wondered out loud.

“Looks to me like you’re giving Lauren an opportunity to hurt you.”

Well, shit. I turned and made eye contact with Keana. There is more to this girl than meets the eye. I see now why Lauren took a liking to her. She is smart and intuitive. I reached over to grab my bottle and took a big swig. “I misjudged you.”

Her eyes softened and a light laugh escaped her lips. “Let me guess, did you think I was a whore?” she asked with a wide grin.

I smiled with guilt at her and nodded slightly.

“Well I am,” she chuckled. “I’d have my way with you right now if you really wanted it, but I’m not stupid. I can see it’s not me you want.”

“Am I that obvious?” I inquired.

Keana shrugged. “No.. you weren’t to me until I saw the way you were looking at her while she was kissing Matt. You looked so sad.”

I looked down, reminded of that horrible moment. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe it, but my gut was telling me to tell her something I hadn’t told anybody. She just seemed so understanding and trustworthy to me in this moment that I couldn’t seem to stop the words before they were forming. It also didn’t help that I was pretty close to drunk.

“I’m falling for her, Keana.”

There. The words were out. I had finally admitted it to not only someone else, but myself as well.

Keana’s comforting voice returned, “I wish I could tell you that I know how she feels, but I really don’t. She keeps most things to herself.”

I nodded, completely understanding. “She definitely does.” All I’ve been doing since I met Lauren is trying to deconstruct those thick walls she has built up. I’ve known her for about three years now and I still feel like I have so much more to learn about her.

I couldn’t believe how wrong I was about Keana. In her words, I guess I was still right, but I only knew her on a superficial level. Now I had seen how much deeper her mind and soul is and I was very thankful I ended up trying to hook up with someone like her. She was a very beautiful girl on the outside, but I could see now that she wasn’t bankrupt on the inside like I had originally thought.

Keana stood up as well and when she did so I pulled her in to a hug. “Thank you,” I genuinely said to her.

“Oh, I’m on that level with you now?” She joked, referencing our conversation from earlier today.

I grinned from ear to ear. “Yes, you are now.”

“Can I at least cop a feel of your ass?” The original Keana I met came out of nowhere. I laughed so hard at that request I probably could have been heard by everyone at the party.

___________________

AN: Back from a long hiatus! Hope you all enjoy :)

#UPDATE #series #AU #slash #camren #based on song #angst drama #submission #Wicked Games

13 notes · View notes

mistydecembers · 4 years

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the captain, his wife, and their boyfriend - torchwood fanfic playlist

To Know Him Is To Love Him // Amy Winehouse

I’ll be good to him, I’ll bring joy to him

Losing My Religion // BELLSAINT

There’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion trying to keep up with you

Zombie // Bad Wolves

Another mother’s broken heart is taking over

Queen of the Night // Hey Violet

Wearin’ your t-shirt, I’m queen of the night, one hand on the wheel and one hand on my thigh

Human // Daughter

And despite everything I’m still human, but I think I’m dying here

Hold Me Now // Red

Am I alive or just a ghost? Haunted by my sorrows

Second Hand Faith // Emilie Autumn

Second hand faith is all I need, ‘cause this feeling of forgiveness means much more to me

A Girl Before // Cassandra Compton

Am I someone he could love more? Would I just be a girl before?

Hate It When You See Me Cry // Halestorm

I’m here to save the world, but who will save supergirl? What if I’m weak and I need you tonight?

Let It All Go // Birdy, Rhodes

Who says truth is beauty after all? And who says love should break us when we fall?

Lost In The Moment // NF

Don’t tell me you’re fine, cos I know that you’re not, so don’t even try.

Need You Now (How Many Times) // Plumb

Though I walk through the shadows, and I, I am so afraid, please stay, please stay right beside me

Not About Angels // Birdy

But if you searched the whole damn world would you dare to give it up?

Somewhere Over The Rainbow // Ariana Grande

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why, why can’t I?

This Is Not An Exit // Matt Smith

Maybe you’ve been slaughtered, maybe you’ve been kissed. Either way means nothing, I simply don’t exist

Mad About The Boy // Helen Forrest

I’m so ashamed of it but must admit the sleepless nights I’ve had about the boy

Dream A Little Dream Of Me // Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong

Night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love you’

Everybody Loves Somebody // Dean Martin

Although my dream was overdue, your love made it well worth waiting for somebody like you

A Sunday Kind Of Love // Etta James

Someone to enfold, keep me warm when Mondays and Tuesdays get cold

A Happy Place // Katie Melua

Seven thousand light years travel, let my sense of time unravel

my aphrodisiac is you // Katie Melua

I don’t need no stimulation, potions, balms or embrocation. I’m in love - in other words

People Will Say We’re In Love // Ella Fitzgerald

Sweetheart, they’re suspecting things, people will say we’re in love

Let’s Fall In Love // Ella Fitzgerald

Why shouldn’t we fall in love? Our hearts are made of it. Let’s take a chance, why be afraid of it?

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time // Panic! At The Disco

Champagne, cocaine, gasoline, and most things in between. I roam the city in a shopping cart

Popular Monster // Falling in Reverse

Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave. I am terrified, fell asleep at the wheel again. Crashed my car just to feel again

Born To Raise Hell // Motorhead

We know how to do it and we do it real well

Jack’s Love Theme // Torchwood

(entirely instrumental)

Immortals // Fall Out Boy

Sometimes the only pay off for having any faith is when it’s tested again and again, everyday.

Life on Mars? // David Bowie

Take a look at the lawman, beating up the wrong guy. Oh man! Wonder if he’ll ever know

If U Seek Amy // Britney Spears

Tell me have you seen her cos I’m so, oh, I can’t get her off of my brain

A Thousand Years // John Barrowman

Time stands still, beauty in all she is

Angel With A Shotgun // The Cab

They say before you start a war, you better know what you’re fighting for. Well baby you are all that I adore.

In Your Room // Halestorm

You can be yourself, you don’t have to hide from me, I won’t tell. I know everyone you’ve ever trusted has let you down

Dreams // Bastille, Gabrielle Aplin

Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness

Here’s To Us - Guest Version // Halestorm

Here’s to us, here’s to love. All the times that we fucked up. Here’s to you, fill the glass, cos the last few days have kicked my ass

Woman Like Me // Little Mix, Nicki Minaj

My momma always said, ‘girl you’re trouble’ and now I wonder, could you fall for a woman like me?

Bad Reputation // Joan Jett

You’re living in the past, it’s a new generation. A girl can do what she wants to do and that’s what I’m gonna do

I Hate Everybody // Halsey

My friends are getting bored of me, saying I fell in love with a stranger

Infra-Red // Placebo

I will be the one to watch you fall. So I came to crash and burn your beggar’s banquet

Not A Common Man // Matt Smith

I do suspect I’m one of few, I can show you something new. All the constraints, they are long gone, I’ll confess no interest in right and wrong

I Get A Kick Out Of You // Ella Fitzgerald

My story is much too sad to be told, but practically everything leaves me cold

I Think We’re Alone Now // Tiffany

Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another’s hands, trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me

You Make Me Feel So Young // Frank Sinatra

You make me feel there are songs to be sung

I Ran (So Far Away) // Hidden Citizens

Never thought I’d meet someone like you, meet someone like you. Reached out a hand to touch your face

Smells Like Teen Spirit // Sofia Karlberg

Our little group has always been and always will until the end

Breath Of Life // Florence + The Machine

And I needed one more touch, another taste of divine rush, and I believe, I believe it’s so

Crazy = Genius // Panic! At The Disco

If crazy equals genius I’m a fucking arsonist, I’m a rocket scientist

Oh No! // Marina and the Diamonds

Maybe it is all a test, cos I always feel like I’m the worst so I always act like I’m the best

Emperor’s New Clothes // Panic! At The Disco

Heroes always get remembered but you know legends never die

Dance Me To The End Of Love // Madeleine Peyroux

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin

Sail // AWOLNATION

Maybe I’m a different breed, maybe I’m not listening

I Fall In Love Too Easily // Chet Baker

My heart should be well schooled, cos I’ve been fooled in the past, but I still fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast

Radioactive // Sofia Karlberg

I raise my flag, dye my clothes. It’s a revolution, I suppose. We’re painted red to fit right in

Live Like Legends // Ruelle

This is our time, no turning back. We could live like legends

Bury A Friend // Billie Eilish

Why aren’t you scared of me? Why do you care for me?

Villain Of My Own Story // Unlike Pluto

I am the one that’s holding grudges. I am the one that lives in pain. I am the one who’s out of touch and I am the one inflicting pain

(I Just) Died In Your Arms // Hidden Citizens

I’ve lost and found, it’s my final mistake. Loving by proxy, no give and all take

Silent Running // Hidden Citizens

Don’t believe the church and the state and everything they tell you. Believe in me, I’m with the high command

Another One Bites The Dust // Hidden Citizens

Are you happy, are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat?

Where Have You Been (All My Night) // Hey Violet

I keep hoping that I’m dreaming cos I’m drowning in my feelings and this shit’s surreal

The Fighter // In This Moment

I will not hide my face, I will not fall from grace, I’ll walk into the fire, baby

Can’t Help Falling In Love // Tommee Profitt, Brooke

Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you

Whore // In This Moment

You don’t know how hard I fought to survive, waking up alone when I was left to die

Landmines // BELLSAINT

I can’t resist slow dancing on landmines, love is a target with my heart painted on it

Worst In Me // Unlike Pluto

I decided to play when I knew you were fire, it started off warm but now I hear the choir

The Greatest Show // Hugh Jackman, Keala Settle, Zac Efron, Zendaya

When the runaways are running the night, impossible comes true

#playlist #fanfiction #fanmix

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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Heartless

I’ve seen some of the new Doctor Who and it’s kind of terrible. Once, when i was younger, I’d be on the edge of my seat whenever i tuned into this smart, snarky, surprisingly well executed indie-like show. I adored the first few series of the revival run. Eccelston was a decent Doctor but the show took off once David Tennant got the role. 10 is my favorite Doc of all time, no disrespect to Matt Smith or Tom Baker but, for me, it’s 10 all the way. He had the best stories, the best development, the best pathos. He was written brilliantly and i adored every second of it. And that’s the rub; 10 was WRITTEN beautifully. There was creativity and passion and love in his stories. All of that was driven by Russell T. Davies, a brilliant creator in his own right. This cat was the driving force behind shows like Queer As Folk and The Grand. He had a way to ground his storied in reality by focusing on the characters and their motivation. For Davies, the devil was in the detail and his almost auteur sense of showrunning made sure of that. I understand why Eccelston left after one series. Davies wasn’t budging on his vision and Eccelston, being the same way in front of the screen, woulld, invariably, do nothing but clash. It was sad to see him go but we got Tennant in tow, so it wasn’t all bad. I was born in the 80s so, until the revival started, my Doctor Who was Paul McGann. It’s a shame he didn’t get a fair shake. I think he could have been incredibly special in the role. Unfortunate. Eventually, Tennant left, like Eccelestson, but on different terms. Cats had to pry David off the set, he loved the character so much. In comes Matt Smith, all young and gang, instantly warming our hearts to his cool ass bow ties. Matt Smith brought Steven Moffat with him as showrunner and this is where things took a turn, I think.

Steven Moffat is a huge television person in Britain. He’s produced fantastic shows like the BBC Sherlock, Jekyll, and the current Netflix Dracula run. He is not Russell T. Davies. The difference in their writing is wildly apparent. I’m not saying it’s bad but it’s definitely less. Or so it was after Davies left. See, Davies had a cache of writers on his staff while he ran his portion of Who. Moffat was one of those cats. Davies says he never changed a single script submitted by Moffat, and I’m inclined to agree. When you have strict parents, you know to stay inline and put your best foot forward. When Davies bowed out and Moffat got the big chair? That’s when sh*t started to slide. Don’t get me wrong, the show was still entertaining. Moffat hit the jackpot with Smith and Karen Gillan. Their chemistry was amazing. I, personally, enjoyed the episodes with Rover Song as well, although, that seems to be a point of contention among the fandom. However, You can see cracks begin to form when Gillan left. Now, i absolutely adore Clara Oswin Oswald. The idea of her character was great. The execution, not so great. That becomes a theme in Moffat run. By the time Peter Capaldi got to throw on his sonic shades, Moffat was phoning sh*t in left and right, which is absurd because Capaldi is an excellent actor. How do yo outright waste such talent? There were a few sparks of amazing, a few brilliant episode, and f*cking Missy, ultimately though, Moffat went out with a fart instead of a bang. I think, toward the end there, Moffat was tired of the vehicle that made him a star. This brings my to current Who. The BBC installed one of the worse creatives in their social conscious to helm what could arguably be the biggest shift n Who since the first hiatus; A female Doctor.

Now, i was never one of these cats who cared if the Doctor had a Johnson or a Virginia, they’re immortal interdenominational aliens who regenerate their bodies after death. They can be whatever the f*ck they want to be at that point, except ginger, apparently. o be so butt-hurt that their precious Doctor now has boobies is ridiculous. Be upset about who they cast, bro. We’ve had excellent actors portraying the good Doctor for decades. Is this new one, female or not, going to carry that torch? Do they have the ability to do this legacy justice? That’s what should have been the focus, but it wasn’t, so the BBC was able to slide Chris Chibnall into the big chair. That is the problem with this show. A lot of Chibnall’s catalog seems to be crime serials. I’m intimately familiar with Broadchurch and i can make pretty accurate assumptions about Law and Order: UK. He was head writer fir Torchwood, but that ain’t Doctor Who. That’s a different show with a different feel. He’s actually written some of the worst episodes of Doctor Who in the new run, itself. Who’s favorite episode is f*cking “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship?” And the BBC put THIS guy in charge? No wonder the ratings are in the sh*tter, dude can’t write outside of crime dramas! There is a distinct lack of imagination there and it shows in his filmography. Just because you have a tenuous connection to Doctor Who, doesn’t mean you should be in charge of the entire goddamn show! Which is a shame because Jodie Whittaker is an amazing actor!

Jodie is the saving grace of this terrible run and it’s hard to see that with how drab her scripts have been. This feels a lot like how McGann got burned in the 90s but in a different way. Whittaker’s pedigrees is unassailable. Ma can act. She was great in attack the Block and the best goddamn thing about Broadchurch so stepping into the role of the Doctor; a role historically chock full of freedom for the actor to craft any sort of personality for the character, should have been a dream come true. it wasn’t. Whittaker was almost immediately boxed in by the BBC and Chibnall, forcing this weird, focus grouped, visage all over her. She was immediately expected to impersonate a cross between Smith and Tennant, something that sound awesome on paper but is absolutely impossible to pull off once you have a deep understanding about those two characters. 10 was a Doctor who had to live with the knowledge that he committed genocide on his own people. While he was able to smile and interact with others on a personable level, he kept people at an arms length. He abandoned the woman he loved in another dimension because of this fact. Because he feels he doesn’t deserve to be happy. 11 is the opposite. He forgot the number. He stopped counting. He allows himself to love again, both platonic and romantic. He doesn’t care about the Time War and it’s casualties, not anymore. This juxtaposition is impossible to reconcile and it makes for a sh*tty character with no tone, no agency, and no heart. And that’s the problem with this run of Doctor Who so far; There’s no heart.

It seems Chibnall has a rather short leash with this run of the Doctor. Not that he minds it, dude comes across has kind of an executive bootlicker from what I’ve seen. He’s a creative who isn’t all that creative; a writer who has good ideas and not a lick of understanding about how to execute them properly. I could be wrong, I’m not British, but i am observant and it appears to me that Chibnall is at his best when he’s adapting some sh*t or has a framework to build upon. Crime serials have that.They have a structure to their narrative. It you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all that’s why they’re called “serials”. Even with Torchwood, there was a world to build upon and cats to edit his scripts. Being the showrunner for Doctor Who has none of that. There is no structure. There is no framework. There is just pure possibility, awash in the fantastic. You have to have imagination to be in charge of Who and, as far as i can tell, Chibnall is lacking that aspect. He’s lacking heart. Doctor Who feels like Broadchurch, in more ways than one, and that i absolutely a sin. Who should feel like Who. It would be whimsical and tragic and uplifting and heartfelt and genuine. What Chibnall has created in these two series so far, feels like a product. This sh*t was pressed out, manufactured, with not even an ounce of love and that sucks. How can he be so jaded and he just got the job?

#Doctor Who

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Heartless

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qthewetsprocket · 7 years

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The Doctor is dead...long live the Doctor

Some scattered thoughts about my deja vu for a similar period in Who history, the unaccustomed sensation of pure fandom joy, and unexpected melancholy and uncertainty for the future.

(SPOILERS ahead probably.)

The run-up to this year’s s10 finale has reminded me a *lot* of the 2009 ‘End of Time’ s4 finale. For those who maybe weren’t in the fandom back then, we had:

1) Simm!Master coming back to the series.

2) The current actor playing the Doctor making his final appearance.

3) John Simm coming back as the Master.

4) The programme changing showrunners.

3) Did I mention Simm!Master? Yeah. We were all kind of pumped.

I don’t remember ~ever~ being as excited for any episodes of television as I was for The End of Time part 1 and 2. And it seemed like most of fandom felt the same way… there was spec; there was meta; there was silliness; and the fic and fanart flowed like Tardises through the vortex.

It was one of the few golden times when the whole fandom seemed immersed in pure joy. (Or maybe it was just me. Either way it was a rare occurrence.)

So yeah… I don’t remember ever being so excited for any Doctor Who episodes… until now.

To quote the Fourth Doctor, though: it feels different this time. For one thing, we don’t know for certain who the new Doctor is, and I’m pretty sure that last time when we were this close to the actual regeneration, we’d already seen Matt in all his inadvertent Doctor-y glory. He even got a whole special episode of Doctor Who Confidential just to introduce him to the fandom. (RIP Confidential; you are sorely missed.)

I’ve only heard rumours about the favoured (male) replacement for Capaldi this time around, but I have to say I’m hoping very hard they aren’t true. Miranda Hart would rock my world as the Doctor. Olivia Colman would kick all available ass and then some. The male favourite? Gross.

We also had a better idea of the new showrunner’s style and intentions the last time around. Steven Moffat had already written some of the most iconic episodes and characters of New Who by the time he took over (The Empty Child; Captain Jack Harkness; River Song; the Weeping Angels). Plus he was a self-admitted fanboy, and to my mind that should be a prerequisite requirement of anyone helming the show, ever.

Chibnall’s a little more of an unknown quantity. His Life on Mars eps were sort of hit-and-miss... the one where a suspect died in custody was pretty solid, but the one where Sam tries to educate his future mentor in how to be black in a racist all-white workplace has several cringeworthy moments. Still, it gets points for ‘fell short of what it tried to achieve, but was actually trying to achieve something pretty worthy, so.”

Same with Broadchurch. Solid characters; strong attempts to write women who weren’t extentions of male characters; and thank GOD he never tried to make Hardy and Miller go to bed together just because male and female lead.

I’ve been less impressed with his actual Who output, though (42; The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood; Dinosaurs on a Spaceship). Nothing outrightly offensive, mind; but nothing really standout, either. Also, AFAIK, he’s not the bona-fide fanboy that Moffat and RTD were. (If anyone has other information, please do enlighten a worried Q.)

So, yeah… there’s a little more uncertainty this time around; a little less exuberance. Last time I felt like I knew more about what we were getting into, and I felt really optimistic about it. RTD-era Who’s treatment of female characters made me so angry it was bad for my blood pressure, so I could have kissed Moffat - the man who wrote River Song as an equal for the Doctor instead of an inexperienced, hero-worshipping 19-year-old girl - for taking over. Also, Matt Smith was so much the Doctor that within 30 seconds of seeing him speak I knew we were in excellent hands.

Last week’s episode, with the brilliant Simm!Master Rumplestiltskin disguise, really rekindled some of that pure End of Time Who fandom bliss for me. But even though we’ve got the Missy-Master face-off to look forward to this week, I’m a bit hesitant. I don’t want this era to end. I’m not ready to let it go. Short term, anything coming after John Simm and Michelle Gomez playing the same character is going to have a very tough act to follow; and long term, the future feels much less secure than it did seven and a half years ago.

But I’m hopeful. I’ve been proven wrong about Doctor Who before (extremely rare, but it has happened), so I’m very much hoping to be pleasantly surprised by whatever Chibnall brings to the table.

#Doctor Who #John Simm #Simm!Master #The Doctor Falls #Chris Chibnall #Steven Moffat #World Enough and Time #The End of Time - part 1 #The End of Time - part 2 #Russell T Davies #Q meta #Q rambles #Peter Capaldi #Matt Smith #Doctor Who Confidential #joy #bliss #Doctor Who fandom

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theanchour · 7 years

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Submit from la-valse-des-monstres:

.... so I thought that the poster was my chance. And I do this insane thing, I made a poster which said: 'Can I sing 'The Currents' with you?'. I now actually wish that I had written something less selfish, like a Kyle's talent appreciation poster or anything. But oh well. So I actually finish this poster like a few hours before the gig, and go straight to the venue. I was freaking out that I would be late, but at about 1 pm I was only the 8th person in the queue. And being the idiot that I am, who can't stick to only one opinion I immediately got mad at people for not being in line already. But anyway, let's skip the waiting in line 'cause there's nothing cool about that. Let's get straight to that part when we saw that minibus with the band and Tom sitting in the front sit and filming. We were the first on the Eastern European leg of the WW tour so I think they wanted to film that. BUT, imagine them arriving in the bus, AND seeing about 15-20 people in line. I felt such a shame for my Country. So, then we saw the guys coming out of the bus. Woody was the first one, that I remember clearly, then I'm not sure, I think either Will or Kyle. And I remember that Dan was the last one. All the girls around me legit screamed at the sight of Dan and we actually wanted to approach them. But the lady who assisted them (she was a local, that I can tell for sure), just shushed at us and told us to stand still. Will and Dan waved at us though. So that's alright. Okay, so then we learned from Twitter that the guys went to explore the city while we were waiting in line which is fine, I'm happy that they get to see so many new places this time around. So in the end, the doors were open and there were quite a few people who cut the line, so I was worried I wouldn't get the front row. So I got to the venue and we were even prohibited to run to the barricade (like what the actual f*ck?). Luckily, I made some good friends with thhose other girls who were standing with me in line and I saw that they were holding a place for me - sweetest thing EVER! So, we score the front row and I was about to die because I got just the place that I'd wanted, the Kyle's side. The opening act - Matt Wills - was fantastic and it's too bad we didn't come up with anything for the guy, but we did sing along to his songs. We even got to hang out with him after the show. The most likeable and sweetest lad out there! To the Bastille show, though. So, the show started and like anyone, I was feeling exhilirated, the sound was sooo good, and the boys were so good looking, so I was singing my heart out and I totally forgot about my sign which was lying right under my feet. And then my friends started nagging me about it. I was very shy at first and it took me about 2-3 songs to actually do it. So okay, I put up the poster, and my friend helped me hold it. So, the song started and I know lots of people hate at it for its political content, but to me it means a lot and I see it not only as a political song but also a deeply personal one. Anyway, the song started and Dan just pointed his finger at me. And I was like, WAIT WHAT? no, that can't be. And he goes on and sings the first verse, and dancing his crazy tribal dances, as he usually does. So, I think, well, okay, well, maybe he meant that the song was like 'for me'. Egoistic? yes! but I wanted to believe that and I did. BUT.... then the craziest thing happend. During the chorus Dan started moving towards the edge of the stage, and when he started going down the stairs the realisation struck me hard. I mean, everything was like in a movie - slow mo, and all that jazz. I swear, every second lasted more than an eternity. My mouth went completely dry and my mind went blank. So, there I was, with Dan fucking Smith holding his mic out to me to sing the second verse to The Currents. And I sang. Horribly! Too quiet for anybody to even hear (I don't think the crowed even noticed that there was somebody else singing) but singing my heart out with the rest of the band playing and OMG this was MAGICAL!! After the verse....Dan went up the stage again and gave me the thumbs up, and I even have this on camera. AND on top of it, Kyle also gave me the thumbs up, this one, however is going to stay in my heart and in my mind forever because there's no video of this part. But Kyle kept glancing at out part throughout the whole gig and I smiled back at him A LOT because duh! he's a gorgerous human being! So, that's basically it. The show was incredible! We waited around for about 2 more hours but as we soon realised the guys went straight to the hotel. It was the last day of winter so we legit froze our asses off but i still don't regret it. It was the best way to say goodbye to winter. I want to see them again so bad, but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon.

THIS IS AMAZING. OH MY GOODNESS, I couldn’t stop smiling while reading!! That is such an amazing opportunity to have. I am proud of you for being brave and getting through that though! I would’ve frozen up I think!

#la-valse-des-monstres #answered

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d2kvirus · 4 years

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Dickheads of the Month: October 2019

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of October 2019 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

In a really, really mature move proven liar Boris Johnson sent a letter to the EU to request a Britait extension but didn’t sign it, in a feeble attempt to try and say that an official letter from his office doesn’t count if he didn’t sign it and he absolutely should not have to fulfill his promise of claiming he’d rather be dead in a ditch than request an extension

Of course Priti Patel would try and claim the Tories are the party of law and order during her conference speech in spite the minor issue her speech came a week after the Tories were ruled to have unlawfully suspended parliament, because what else did she have other than a strawman about he “North London Liberal Elite” to say for herself?

...although we can thank Geoffrey Clifton-Brown for completely undermining Patel’s speech by his being arrested at the conference due to getting into a punch-up with event security an hour before Patel even took to the stage

Hapless businesswoman Jennifer Arcuri would look a lot less like she’d been handed a script if she asked what business of ours is it to ask why a six-figure sum of public money ended up in her bank account courtesy of proven liar Boris Johnson, rather than the narrative she attempted to spin asking who we are to ask whether or not he had an affair...because the actual question is a matter for the courts instead of the court of public opinion, as whoever wrote her script knew all too well

In the latest bout of the Liberal Democrats showing how they’re definitely not Tories in disguise, all nineteen of the MPs abstained on a vote to keep the NHS out of Britait negotiations and, in the process, handed Boris Johnson his first-ever parliamentary win over Jeremy Corbyn - which Jo Swinson attempted to defend by squawking “something something antisemitism” in an attempt to distract people from noting the day before she couldn’t stop talking about the handful of Labour MPs who voted in favour of the proven liar's Britait timetable as she continues to try and delude herself and others into believing she’s a kingmaker and not a Tory enabler

...although she’s not alone in that regard, as Gavin Shuker took to Twitter to say how The Independents would do anything in their power to prevent Jeremy Corbyn getting into Downing Street, which only serves to justify him losing a No Confidence vote from his constituents when standing as a Labour MP

It says a lot about Blizzard that their response to Hearthstone streamer Blitzchung voicing support for the Hong Kong protestswas to boot him out of an upcoming Hearthstone tournament, suspend him from any further Hearthstone tournaments for a full year, and withhold the earnings he had made - and attempting to hide behind their competition rules does not adequately explain why they also ditched the two commentators who happened to be hosting when Blitzchung made the comments in spite their cutting to commercial as soon as he made them, which definitely does not make it look like Blizzard are shit scared of losing the Chinese esports market or anything considering they didn;t do a damn thing to any American players or commentators who subsequently spoke up on Blitzchung’s behalf...

It didn’t take long for the BBC to start gaslighting the public during the election campaign, with Fiona Bruce telling a Question Time audience member that Vote leave was cleared of breaking electoral law in spite the fact that they were found guilty of breaking electoral law, at which point panellists Paul Scully and gaslighter extraordinaire Isabel Oakeshott piled in to continue the bullying somebody who showed more aptitude for journalism than Bruce, Oakeshott and Scully managed between them

I have no idea how Rudy Giuliani managed to give a journalist on the Orange Overlord’s no-no list reason to further investigate the Trump regime leaning on foreign governments to dig up dirt on their opponents when his right buttcheek somehow dialled their number, but what I do know is that it does not surprise me in the slightest that the stop fell into a journalist’s lap because Giuliani was so careless he managed to butt dial them

I’m sure it’s a coincidence that both James Cleverly and Mark Francois both used their Tory conference speeches to threaten rioting on the streets if Britait isn't done, which definitely isn’t a well-worn trope of the Leave camp by this point and certainly not something the police should look into

Isn’t it interesting how Lib Dem staffer Steve Wilson was quick to accuse Dawn Butler of making up incidents of experiencing racist abuse, which not only undermined the Lib Dems’ attempts to portray themselves as anything other than the Tories under a different coat of paint, especially considering the fact that Wilson just so happens to be husband of recent Lib Dem appointee Angela “funny tinge” Smith?

I’m sure we’ll be hearing a lot about how Matt Hancock tried to claim that the 20,000 new police officers the Tories claim will be on the streets by 2025 will replace the 21,000 they have laid off since 2010 in an interview with Good Morning Britain, just as I am sure people will mention he kept repeating his soundbite even when being told that the UK will still be 1000 police officers worse off than they were ten years ago several times until he started to look like a malfunctioning computer

Of course Louise Ellman responded to a vote of no confidence being called against her by her local party by resigning from the Labour party and using the usual “Corbyn is an antisemite” arguments we heard numerous times before from people facing deselection. It’s passed cliche and is rapidly headed towards high camp at this point

...especially when Karen Pollock of the Holocaust Educational Trust posted a video to her Twitter telling her followers how terrible it is that Labour are looking to have Jo Bird replace Ellman and regurgitated the exact same claims of antisemitism...yet never once deigned to mention that Bird is Jewish, which looks uncannily like the “wrong type of Jews” argument we’ve heard more than once from the Board of Deputies

Of course Anne Sacoolas expressed regret at her reckless driving being responsible for the death of Harry Dunn...after she legged it back across the Atlantic as soon as humanly possible, waiting a few days for the heat to die down, and then issuing a press release saying she regrets her actions but will not actually face consequences for them due to scurrying to hide behind diplomatic immunity in record time

On paper it looked as if WWE had merely given wrestler Jordan Myles a really unimaginative shirt design because the character they gave him is Smiley Guy Who Is Happy To Be Here 708...but the thing is that, on paper, the design didn’t look uncannily like something from a minstrel show, which Myles was particularly vocal about when he saw it - and even more vocal when WWE’s statement in response was the usual ass-covering gaslighting they issue when the company is shown in a bad light

It appears that the BBC are taking the threats against politicians so seriously that they invited Julia Halfwit Hartley-Brewer onto the Question Time panel little more than a week after she shared the home address of Jo Maugham on her Twitter account so her followers could happily dogpile

You would think that Bethesda would have learned that Fallout 76 has been nothing but a humiliation conga line for them by this point, but apparently not, as they had the genius idea of charging $99.99 (or £99.99, because fuck British players amirite?) for a premium subscription for a game that came out to critical derision and commercial stagnation a year before someone hit on this idea, and if that wasn’t humiliating enough it soon transpired that the supposed benefits of paying $13 a month didn’t work to the point where players paying the premium were losing items while those who weren’t had no problems at all

Once again it seems nobody told Extinction Rebellion that there’s a way to protest that doesn’t mainly involve being a bunch of dickheads and generally pissing people off with dickheaded stunts, with James Brown taking the prize for most dickheaded act after he climbed on top of a plane at Heathrow, although the bloke at Canning Town getting a shoeing after trying to hold up the train runs him a close second

I have no idea how Roland Rudd imagined his boardroom coup to take over the People’s Vote campaign would have gone, but I’m going to guess the mass walkout of staff when his plan to make the campaign a fully-fledged political party who would position as pro-business “liberals” in an obvious bid to try and split the Labour vote may have had something to do with it

The sheer spinelessness of the BBC was exposed for all to see when it emerged that a solitary complaint from a viewer was all it took for the corporation to reprimand Naga Mulchetty for suggesting that Donald Trump saying non-white congresswomen should go back where they came from, yet when Brendan O’Neill saying people should take to the streets and riot if Britait isn’t delivered received over 600 complaints no action was taken. And as if that didn’t make it any clear, when Priti Patel was called out by Andrew Marr for smirking through an interview when a list of businesses facing bankruptcy due to Britait drew a couple of hundred complaints, the corporation issued a grovelling apology that said they should not make light of Patel’s natural facial expression, even though there’s a wealth of evidence that smirking is not her natural facial expression

Funny how the dogwhistling boneheads have nothing to say about Jess Phillips’ mental flub during an interview when she claimed she'd knocked on the doors of 25,000 doors in the previous two weeks when she meant to say 2500, yet have spent the past two years continuously howling about the one time Diane Abbott flubbed her sums in an interview. Hmm, I wonder why the white middle-class Phillips gets better treatment than the black working-class Abbott...

Luckily for Rebekah Vardy it isn’t exactly difficult to do a disservice to the image of footballers wives, but her being caught out leaking stories that Coleen Rooney planted on her Instagram to find out who was leaking stories to The Sun wasn’t the logical defence of trying to claim that The Sun hacked Rooney’s phone as they have previous in that regard but to reel off ever-more spurious attempts at a denial and threatening legal action

In a desperate bid for attention Tracy Ann Oberman accused Jeremy Corbyn of stalking her at her place of work by posting a selfie of herself standing near a table where Corbyn, his wife and Shami Chakrabarti were having a cup of tea at a theatre in Corbyn’s constituency, and to prove she’s definitely not unhinged this soon degenerated into her getting into the usual vicious Twitter spats that occur when her behaviour is called out

Pity poor Savid Javid for having to endure the pain and humiliation of Hugh Grant not shaking his hand at a film premiere. Of course, maybe if Javid didn’t publicly dismiss the concerns of those who have been victims of press intrusion, maybe he wouldn’t be in a situation where a victim of press intrusion such as Hugh Grant would not want to shake his hand at a film premiere...

It was finally revealed how mug salesman Steven Crowder looks borderline informed when in debates with other people. It’s because his father prevents him from taking part in debates against opponents who will show him up as the ill-informed blowhard that he is. Yes, really

Sentient testicle Toby Young decided this month’s dogwhistling about Meghan Markle would be how she obviously can’t be depressed as the rich and famous are never depressed, which plumbed new depths of ignorance even for him

Britain’s most triggered man Piers Moron Morgan thought he was being clever when asking Good Morning Britain viewers to vote in a poll about whether he should be fired or not. The look on his face when 56% of voters said he should be sacked revealed how clever he actually is...

And of course, what would a month be without Donald Trump being utterly moronic, on this occasion saying it’s okay for the Kurds to be attacked as they didn’t help the US in World War II in spite the act that a.) They did, and b.) KURDISTAN IS NOT A COUNTRY. But then again, he does seem to be running out of material as the best he can say about Joe Biden is “But his text messages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

#dickheads of the month

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placetobenation · 6 years

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Each week, Brian Bayless and Jennifer Smith will recap the week that was in WWE TV. Share your thoughts with us via social media!

*** Matt Souza is filling in for Jennifer this week

Matches of the Week

Matt: Match of the week goes to New Day vs The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Titles. I thought this was a fine, run of the mill tag match. Nothing bad, but not particularly great either. Kind of surprised that they switched the belts already. Makes me wonder if The Bar was supposed to be the team to dethrone the Bludgeon Brothers and they had to change plans and quickly put the titles on New Day when Erick Rowan went down with his injury.

Brian: The fatal five-way match on 205 Live was excellent, both from a match quality and storyline perspective. It was an all-out blitz that saw all five men get a chance to succeed and it touched upon existing feuds like TJP against the Lucha House Party and Cedric Alexander and Tony Nese with Nese pinning him again as Cedric’s continues his descent after losing the Cruiserweight Championship. Lio Rush really got a chance to shine in the ring and show his talents there as opposed to being on the mic. A match worth seeking out.

Segments of the Week:

Matt: The Segment of the Week on SmackDown was The Cutting Edge with Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair. Edge was excellent in his role as the bitter retired wrestler and how he basically told Becky to not make the same mistakes he made. Becky continues to knock it out of the park with this new “screw everyone” bad ass character of hers. The pull apart brawl at the end of this segment was really great as well. I loved this. Great stuff.

NXT’s Segment of the Week was the Nikki Cross vs. Bianca Belair match and the post match featuring the return of Aleister Black. The match itself was really fun brawl and I didn’t mind the No Contest finish as it led to the appearance of Black. The post match stuff with Cross telling Black her secret and Black freaking out was excellent and I’m very interested to see where this whole thing leads. The Aleister Black saga is easily the most compelling storyline going in WWE right now.

Brian: RAW’s segment of the week was the bit between Ronda Rousey and The Bellas. Having Ronda lay into the Bellas for being desperate for attention and leeching off of their men while the Bellas smugly told her she was not in their class worked great and the fans were invested. Ronda had her best performance on the mic and the Bellas are playing their roles to perfection. Looks like they are also trying to get over the “DNB” catchphrase (which stands for “Do Nothing Bellas.”). Having The Bellas bring out their own security was a nice touch too.

On 205 Live, the Mustafa Ali vignette to hype his Falls Count Anywhere match next week against Hideo Itami was effective and due to the fact it was produced different than your standard WWE taped segment it stood out. Having him walk around the streets in the pouring rain and wind gushing gave it a raw, edgy feel that is missing from the company. Ali continues to shine in 2018.

Quotes of the Week:

Matt:

“You keep that thing in your pants” – Batista to Ric Flair

“There is nothing that this man hasn’t done in this business… Except beat me.” – Batista to Triple H

“Careful you don’t hurt your neck again going through those ropes.” – Becky Lynch to Edge

Brian:

“The only door you’ve ever knocked down is the door to John Cena’s bedroom… and he eventually threw you out of that exact same door” – Ronda Rousey to Nikki Bella

“I have heard that you are talented, I’ve just never seen it. You know, its like I’ve never seen Bigfoot or the Flyers win the cup.” – Elias to Apollo Crews.

“Well we have three words for you… rest in peace.” – Kane & Undertaker to DX

What Worked:

Matt: I really liked the opening video of SmackDown showing some of its memorable moments. The video packages that WWE produces are some of the best thing about the company. The Evolution reunion segment was really well done. Batista was the star here with a great promo and you could see that he was genuinely thrilled to be there. I liked them planting the seeds for a future Batista vs Triple H match here as well. The match has been rumored for years and it looks like it may happen sooner rather than later. Perhaps at WrestleMania next year?

The War Raiders vs Undisputed Era Tag Title match was a perfectly solid match and the DQ finish guarantees that this feud will continue. Bobby Fish returning at the end of the match and causing the DQ was a great way for him to return from his long layoff. Shayna Baszler’s complete destruction of Britt Baker was really well done. This was a great way to make Baszler look like a ruthless badass going into her rematch with Kairi Sane at Evolution. The elbow stomp Baszler gave Baker was vicious looking and I thought Baker did a nice job selling the injury. Nice to see Oney Lorcan and Danny Burch return to NXT after Lorcan basically broke his face back in June. They looked great during their match against Tian Bing and Rocky.

Brian: On RAW I liked the opening and closing segments as they continue to tease Dean Ambrose turning on his Shield brothers and we saw Drew McIntyre have enough of Braun Strowman and gave him the Claymore Kick after Strowman hit Dolph Ziggler with a powerslam. It sets up intrigue for next week. The Brothers of Destruction promo was good as while I’m not personally excited for their match against D-X this was effective and fit in with the storyline. And as usual, Elias was entertaining while insulting the crowd.

I loved how 205 Live started off the show with GM Drake Maverick hyping up everyone in the Fatal Five-Way match and why they deserved take part and how they could win. It made all five guys seem important. The character work in general this week was great I thought. We saw TJP as the arrogant jerk stealing masks off of Lucha House Party and wearing them around his neck like a chain and the formation of Buddy Murphy & Tony Nese as a duo is working so far and with Nese winning two matches in a row he might find himself in line for a title shot. And next week we see the debut of Mike Bennett and get the Falls Count Anywhere main event of Itami vs. Ali.

What Didn’t Work:

Matt: I was not a fan of how they continued the AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan build. I hate it when they do the “two face wrestlers team with one another, something happens during the match leading to dissention” thing. It’s a played out and tired trope. Why did Miz vs Rusev only last 45 seconds? Were they short on time? I get having Aiden English distract Rusev causing him to lose the match, but in 45 seconds? It makes Rusev look weak. While I thought that The New Day vs The Bar match was fine, I really did not enjoy the finish. Big Show heel turn number 768 was an unwelcome surprise. The amount of times his character has turned has to be a running joke. It’s absurd. Rey Mysterio vs Shinsuke Nakamura was incredibly disappointing. I was expecting a really good match but I thought that it was just ok. Can we talk about how Nakamura has looked uninspired and has been going through the motions since the AJ feud? It was really noticeable here. If Nakamura can’t get inspired for that match, then there’s a problem.

Brian: As good as the build for Nikki vs. Rousey was the rest of the women’s segments were subpar. Having the Riott Squad squirt condiments all over Natalya’s dressing room door (and why does Natalya have a private dressing room anyway?) was an incredibly lame insult. And having Trish Stratus & Lita use Allen Iverson’s well over a decade old rant about practice as material did not get over and in general that segment was saddled with awful dialogue. Also, even after turning heel we are seeing Lashley continue to struggle in getting any sort of reaction from the crowds. RAW’s main problem is that they have too many cold acts throughout their 3 hour-long show.

Final Rankings for the Week

1. NXT 2. 205 Live 3. SmackDown 4. Monday Night RAW

Overall Rankings

1 – NXT (24 points) 2 – SmackDown Live (23 points) 3 – 205 Live (22 points) 4 – Monday Night Raw (8 points)

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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