#momtweets

[genymama]

Follow GenYMama for more momlife tweets

#momlife #mom memes #mommylife #momminainteasy #momtweets #my tweet #tweet of the day #i need a shower #momjokes #parenting #parentingtruths

[momcave]

🤣🤣🤷‍♀️ #Repost @thequestionablemom with @get_repost ・・・ I’ve been known to toss a pack or two of gummies out the door . @itsdeenalang is my kind of mom, go give her a follow ✨ . . . . . . . . . #parenting #parentingmemes #parenthumor #parenting101 #funnymemes #memes #memesdaily #memestagram #relatablememes #laughoutloud #jokesfordays #twitterpost #tweetpost #funnytweets #momtweets #funnymoms #funnydads #momtruths #momhumor #mommemes #hotmessmom #instamommy #momminainteasy #momlifebelike #momprobs #momirl https://www.instagram.com/p/CEolNLuMqWf/?igshid=tnic8cd1ua6s

#repost #parenting #parentingmemes #parenthumor #parenting101 #funnymemes #memes #memesdaily #memestagram #relatablememes #laughoutloud #jokesfordays #twitterpost #tweetpost #funnytweets #momtweets #funnymoms #funnydads #momtruths #momhumor #mommemes #hotmessmom #instamommy #momminainteasy #momlifebelike #momprobs #momirl

[bookboost]

A #paranormal cozy #mystery!

#cozy #mystery #ghost #story #halloween #bookboost #books #haunted #house

[howdyreese-blog]

@reesewitherspoon: My four year old isn't home tonight, I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. What is this silence thing? I've never heard it before. #momtweet

#tweet tweet

[itsmekatiecassidy]

@MzKatieCassidy: I still can't believe the Cash Me Outside chick is only 13 #MomTweet

#tweet #//nah but seriously like i just found this out and I had no idea #and it blew my mind but also made it funnier bc im a dick whoops

[momfailhashtag]

@mcoopster3: RT @acparker3: When you think your child is a murderer but finally realize the victim was just a blackberry. It might be time to slow down on #truecrime podcasts. #momtweet #momfail #motherhood #Parenthood https://t.co/AsRksBjieb

http://twitter.com/mcoopster3

#Twitter #MomFail

[momtweets]

#mom #momtweets #tgif #friday #funny #funnymoms #keeponrocking

[bookboost]

#romance #romantic comedy #indiebooks #smashwords #bookboost #booksworthreading

[plusgreg]

My Mom Live Tweets Her First Viewing of Die Hard

Or rather, I do.

Actually, I'm just going to tweet all of my mom's jokes. Goodbye, nocturnal followers: "That was veddy veddy close." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes

— Greg Nog (@plusgreg) December 25, 2012

There's so much more coming.

"Where's your partner when you need one? ... Oh. Wow. Yeah, he's dead." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes

"He kinda shot him in the family jewels, or close to it." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes

Given the context of the film, I really hope they overdub the most famous line as "Yippie-ki-yay, Father Christmas" when it's on TV #DieHard #NotMyMomsJokes

"Was he in that movie where Harrison Ford was the president on a plane?"That was Air Force One, mom. "Yeah! The plane was Air Force One!"

"Don't go in there! You're a black guy, you'll be the next one killed!" My Mom will be opening for Tosh this Spring. #DieHard #MyMomsJokes

For the record, my mom doesn't know that I'm tweeting her #DieHard jokes. She also probably doesn't know what Twitter is.

"You can shoot him, Hans. He's just a cokehead. He's kind of a dickweed." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes#MomHatesCokeheads #MomHatesEllis

"I wouldn't think HE would care too much about the Christmas miracle. Not by his actions, anyway." #DieHard #MyMomsSalientMoralObservations

"That's a good place to shoot 'em, right in the kneecaps." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes #MyMomsAMonster

"I wasn't expecting that. Those darn news people. Talk about hurting the situation." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes #MomAgainstTheMedia

Me: "He killed a blonde guy, but not this guy."Mom: "Those German bastards, they all look alike." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes #MomYouAreGerman

POLICE CHIEF: "Holy Christ."MOM: "Well it is Christmas. Holy Christ is right." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes #TopicalHumor

"A guy named Argyle did that? Talk about a lucky punch." #DieHard #MyMomsJokes

"Bye-Bye, Hans!" #DieHard #MyMomsJokes #SPOILERALERT

(CAPT. MITCHELL ENTERS FRAME) "Great, here's THAT douchebag again."#DieHard #MyMomsJokes

This concludes my live-tweet of my mom's jokes from her 1st viewing of #DieHard. I hope you learned something. I know I did. #MyMomsIsGreat

#momtweets #diehard

[momfailhashtag]

@acparker3: When you think your child is a murderer but finally realize the victim was just a blackberry. It might be time to slow down on #truecrime podcasts. #momtweet #momfail #motherhood #Parenthood https://t.co/AsRksBjieb

http://twitter.com/acparker3

#Twitter #MomFail

[vonnegutting]

MY MOM I CAN'T

so i said "really mom? are you gangster now?"

and she says

"wanna be."

MY MOM IS NOT GANGSTER

WUT

STAHP

#my mother folks #momtweets