Medea Played Pokemon Scarlet & Violet, The DLC's (Part II)
Okay, let's check out Blueberry Academy.
If you'll indulge me for a second...
BLUE HIS HOUSE
WITH A BLUE LITTLE WINDOW
AND A BLUE CORVETTE
AND EVERYTHING IS BLUE FOR HIM
I apologize for nothing. Moving away from the random musical interlude. This academy is a floating terarium in the Unova region.
And here's our first nod to the Black & White games. The girl with the pink hair is Lacey.
She came from this guy's penis.
Oh, there are more surprises this DLC has.
This rich-ass school has four places in this dome, the canyon, the coast, the savanna, and the polar. Many, many, many pokemon not in the original game are there. Yes, all the starters. There is however, a hefty price tag for that.
Aside from the vending machines at the rest areas, you are to pay with BP's (Blueberry Points). And you get that by doing Blueberry Picnics (BBQs). Unfortunately, the tasks are only worth like 100 or something cheap like that. And if you want ALL the starters, you have to have a grand total of 12,000 points. And so much more points if you want to decorate your club room, put music in it, print items, challenge the elite four, buy special items at the school cafeteria, get new features for selfies, learn new throwing styles, invite coaches like Larry, and catch legendaries.
Phew, that is a lot. My recommendation, host and/or join BBQs. If you're like me and are prone to playing solo, there are some Discord groups that offer a lot of opportunities. The group quests are something you'll need to get more legendaries. Moving on.
You will eventually meet up with Carmine. Her brother however...
Kieran becomes an angsty teenager who should just go back to his dorm room, put on some My Chemical Romance, and cry into his knock-off Ogerpon teal mask.
More importantly, Kieran is the champ of the school. Higher than the elite four. You know where this is going. You have to challenge the elite four and then Kieran.
That's when you're introduced to Drayton. And it better be obvious to you by looking at this kid. He's a slacker. He was the ex-champ. He's definitely a dragon-type trainer. But more importantly, he is the grandson to Unova gym leader Drayden.
And as you can tell, Carmine hates this guy's guts. Drayton will sucker you into challenging the elite four. There is pushback as you are merely an exchange student. But you do get the support of two members and Kieran just wants to defeat you. Yeah, we'll see how that turns out for you.
Okay, let's take on the E4. Please note that every single battle you do here are double battles. And give this game some credit, these are not easy battles. Not even the random trainers are.
Let's battle Amarys first. Just like the gyms in Paldea, you have to do certain tasks first before the battle. Amarys has you and Koraidon jump through hoops. Kinda like a Mario Party game.
I have my own theories about this girl as I think she's the product of Lenora and her white husband Hawes. But apparently, she's from Castelia City and Lenora is from a different town. So, that theory ends with me. Also, she's a steel-type trainer.
Next, let's battle Crispin.
He's a fire-type trainer. His first task is to make him a spicy sandwich. I have no theories of where this kid came from. The second I saw Crispin and his cooking attire and his pan...
And all I can think of is Kuga from Food Wars. They're both spicy boys who cook. And they're both in an elite group where they both are on the verge of getting kicked out.
Drayton's trial can be tricky if you're walking into this blindfolded. You have to face three trainers only using pokemon you caught in the Terarium. Raids in the terarium do not count. Traded pokemon technically caught in the terarium do not count. Once done, you can battle the dragon boy.
And as for Lacey...
Urp.
I'm resisting the urge to not bring up learning about Venonat's radar eyes from Tracey Sketchit in the second season. Oh wait, I still said it. You should know me by now.
Lacey's trial is a quiz with 5 questions. It's actually the easiest trial. As long as you know where she sleeps on Granbull and which is the true Sinistea.
Kid, I'm about ready to put you through a wall. Sigh. Let me just waste this wannabe punk.
You are going to battle Kieran. Much of the school and the E4 come out to watch you. And if you want to watch this boy suffer, put Ogerpon in your team.
So you defeat him.
Kieran pretty much has a mental breakdown and is beyond repair at this moment.
SELFIE TIME!!!
As much as I'd love to relish in this kid's agony, we have to move the story along. Because immediately after, Ms. Briar asks for you, Kieran, Carmine, and Drayton for help.
So all of us (minus Drayton because he's a lazy-fuck) are going to Area Zero. Briar was finally able to get permission from Geeta and Rika (who are there now). It's been a while since I saw Rika.
GAH! What did I do?!
Oh. I forgot about The Way Home arc already. When it's been a full year since playing, you tend to forget why you're being yelled at.
Geeta gives you the Indigo Disk (hence the name of this DLC). Has no idea what it is or why it is. But thinks you might have some use for it.
The Indigo Disk actually sends you to a lower level of Area Zero since it seems Professor Crazy Bitch's lab is locked down due to inactivity.
In the depths of Area Zero, you'll come across these special tera pokemon. They are stella-tera. And in the depthiest of depths, we will come across Terapagos.
Kieran decides he's going to use this opportunity to surpass you.
LADY, CONTROL YOUR STUDENT!
What am I, a judge in a Donald Trump trial?
More swipes at Trump. I thought I told you that we won't stop! I thought I told you that we won't stop!
Terapagos eventually emerges. But then...
This little shit catches it with a Master Ball. I'm impressed.
Kieran battles you with Terapagos. It fails. Then, Briar tells him to terastylize Terapagos.
Think of this as a Tera-raid from Hell. It puts up three barriers. Constantly takes away your ability to terastylize. And every now and then, it changes what type it is. All the while, Briar is having her wet-dream of seeing Terapagos in full form and Kieran is...
Yeah, this whole thing is a cluster-fuck. Time for you to end this nightmare and catch this fucker.
But wait, didn't Kieran catch it with a master ba...?
We good now? Okay. Let's take this behemoth down.
After finishing off Terapagos, you can then catch it, and 100% rate for this one. It better be after all the shit you go through.
Lady, Ms. Frizzle has more control than you do.
Well, that's the end of the main story to Indigo Disc. The pokemon is caught, the day is saved, we think Kieran is going back to normal, and the end credits play with a remix to Ed Sheeran's Celestial.
Okay, I think this is a perfect place to end my shit-post.
To be continued.
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