#my bf told me you wont like it its disgusting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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Can I request a fluffy HC? SKZ comforting you while you’re rlly drunk when you get home and taking care of you. (Like you stumble and have to throw up and stuff)

i just realised that i kept on calling my headcanons for reactions?? I MEAN i dont even know at this point lmao imma call it... headcanons/reactions

ALSO new territory for me,,, im usually not much for fluff unless its really captivating or like drabbles (ahhh bf!skz is my weakness) AND SO YEAH UNDERSTAND IF ITS A BIT... lackluster.

jesus christ ive been listening to touch you for like an hour now ASHAHS save me,,, its too good

HEADCANON sKKRrrT

Warnings; skz x gn!reader; fluff (wow amazing?? cherry writes fluff?) established relationship, drinking, use of alcohol, vomiting, minor injuries, mentions of bruises.

Bangchan

worry mode; on

lets say you were out drinking

dont even think that you could make it one step outside the pub/club

babyboy would already be waiting in his car outside

the entire car ride home he would tell you to stop drinking so much

“y/n,,, why do you always do this,,, you know how bad it is for your health and im scared that you’ll hurt yourself on the way home”

meanwhile you dont understand anything, rolling in the backseat of the car.

when the two of you arrive home he immediately places you in a warm bath, rubbing your back as you almost fall asleep with your back against his chest.

worries a lot even though you’re fine

makes you breakfast in bed the day after :(((

Minho

complaining about everything ASHASH

he’s like mumbling underneath his breath, wondering why you’re so stupid and do this every time you go out drinking

much much MUCH rather prefers drinking with you alone

not only because he can control how much you’re drinking

but also because he likes seeing you tipsy?!?”!?

my brain is working rn u guys

its because he likes seeing this kinda,,, hidden flirty side of you that comes out when someone is tipsy

yk... the whole.. coming too close or laughing lazily at his jokes YK YK?

god im having such a difficult time to keep this fluffy AHSAHSH I THINK EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT I WANT TO SAY

he gets really soft with you because he knows that you probably wont remember anything SO HE CAN SHOW HIS SOFT SIDE

without you teasing him for it lol

he’d stroke your cheek with the back of his hand while your leaning against him on the couch, falling asleep in his arms.

he wraps a blanket around you and mumbles softly

“i love you y/n”

Changbin

he’d be just as drunk as you HASHHASHAH

the two of you would have to call chan because none of you can walk properly

ok but if it was only you being the drunk one then he’d know what to do

him speaking from experience that is 👀 👀 👀

removes your clothes (NOT LIKE THAT YOU FILTHY FUCK) and tucks you snuggly in bed, giving you a kiss on the forehead

might even remove your makeup if you’re wearing any

he notices a bunch of bruises on your legs, shaking his head at your clumsiness

makes a promise with himself to go with you next time

even though you would want to be with only your friends ahsahsh he doesnt give a shit about that

everything to keep you safe

doesnt want to see his precious baby hurt :((

Hyunjin

sweetheart that holds your hair/clothes back when puking :((

he pats your back gently as his face has a disgusted facial expression, loving you too much to leave you alone in the bathroom but feeling squeamish

“siri, how do you care for a drunk person?”

reads somewhere that you need to replenish water levels after puking and so he just starts bringing a whole pack of waterbottles in the bedroom

“if you need water during the night, it’s over here”

he’d try to leave the room, thinking that you’d maybe want some space when having the nausea from hell but you quietly whine which caught him off guard

“d-do you want me to stay?”

you nod and he smiles shyly, laying next to you and just looking at you sleeping??

he thinks you’re adorable :((

even if you’re a lot to handle when drunk

Jisung

ngl this mf laughing his ass off when you’re just blabbering random incoherent sentences

“who was your boyfriend now again?” “m-my squirrlll...” you reply, rubbing your face on his shoulder. “your squirrel? am i a squirrel?” you nod which makes his heart beat faster.

if you were to drink together bet your ass that he would be wrecked

probably even more drunk than you so... good luck

everytime you wanted to go out drinking with your friends he would try to persuade you to stay with him instead

“look y/n, staying and cuddling with me brings you both a cute boyfriend, take out and movies”

you shrug “doesnt bring my friends” you say putting on your shoes

“HEY! im your friend,,, your boyfriend!” he says back hugging you, dragging you to the couch, just laying down on top of you

“Jisung!! I’m gonna be late, move!”

“nope... we are cuddling tonight, remember what happened last time you went out drinking?”

you were reminded of you lying passed out infront of the apartment which scared the everliving shit out of jisung, thinking you were dead.

“noo....” you lie, smiling mischievously.

Felix

poor boy would let you sleep ahahshs

he’d tip toe around your apartment, trying to be as quieeeet as possible....

only knock down a whole fucking shelf of pans and pots

but a complete sweetheart that makes you food, knowing you’d be too tired to do it with a hangover.

do you know those jellies that can prevent hangovers??

yeah, you would find those in your bag

he wouldnt let you wear high heels because he’s scared of you falling over in them :(((

also if you go out he has to know at least one of your friends and have their phone number because NUH UH HE ISNT JUST LETTING YOU GO WITHOUT HIM KNOWING EVERYTHING

he cares,,, a lot and doesnt want to see you come home with scraped knees

because that happened,,,once?? or like maybe 10 times??

Seungmin

teasing youuuu

“weak, you barely finished a bottle”

take a bunch of pictures of you leaning against a telephone pole and then tease you for it the day after

NAH BUT WHEN YOUR REALLY DRUNK HE GETS SERIOUS

he carries you on his back, lowkey scared you’d puke on him BUT CARING NONETHELESS

you pass out on the bed, still dressed in your fancy clothes and he simply looks at you, admiring your features

if there’s anything you want, he will get it

“w-water” you groan and soon enough he returns with a glass of water

slowly sitting you up and stroking your hair, getting it out of your face.

“be more careful next time ok?”

you nod, not really understanding what he’s saying before pulling him down in bed with you, falling asleep with him in your arms.

Jeongin

he dont know what the fuck he’s doing

panic,,, sheer panic

he himself doesnt drink too much

maybe enough to feel tipsy but not DRUNK DRUNK

so when you stumble in through the door, your shoes in your hand and hair looking like a mess he gets scared HASASHAS

you fall down, scraping your knee in the hallway and he runs towards you and lifts you up, placing you down on the bed

then he’s like “....now what”

in panic calls chan that tells him to make you drink water and place a bucket nearby

he does just as he’s told but kinda scared to leave you alone in a room for too long, pulling down everything in the house to find a bucket

he removes your jacket and wraps you up in a blanket, snuggling real close to you as he slowly strokes your forehead, feeling you sweat a bit

DOESNT LEAVE YOU FOR A SECOND

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adlexegam · 4 years

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please tell me, am i in the wrong?

so basically i decided to join here cause i at least know my post wont get removed here. i tried posting my story on reddit’s AITA but my post kept getting removed because on their posts you cant post about abuse. so fuck it, here i am, hoping for someone other than my bf and myself to tell me im not wrong. context:i decided to invite my boyfriend over without telling my parents, i did it max 5 times. i was 16 at the time and he was 18. i got caught and my punishment was to get my phone taken away, my number cancelled, im no longer allowed to drive a car or get my license, im only allowed one friend, im not allowed my laptop anymore, im no longer allowed outside without constant supervision, cameras were installed in and out of the house, and just about every day since december of 2019 ive been getting told how disgusting i am for wanting to be with a n****r (my bf’s half puerto rican half white, i’m half hispanic and half white too), how if he was white he would have come to the front door and shook my parent’s hands and asked for permission to date their daughter, how im a dirty n****r lover who will get pregnant from him and have to slave away to take care of our half breed mistakes, how if i stay with him he’ll sell my body on the streets for money, how if i have sex with him ill get every std on the plant, all that 50′s bullshit. ive gotten pregnancy tested (im celibate), drug tested (mom claims she smelled weed in my room, so he’s a dirty n****r drug dealer apparently forcing me to do drugs, guess what i am against drugs since i know itll change my brain chemistry and i have weak lungs),and std tested (still celibate). for the first few months after they found out i was allowed my laptop at home to do homework, and only allowed my phone during school. one day i got home and i got greeted to the fact that i no longer have a laptop and now have to use the house computer to do all my work at home. of course i got mad because for months ive been doing everything they wanted, and suddenly im being punished for being suspiciously good? my mom got on top of me and fought me to take off my backpack to take my airpods too, left my phone on the kitchen table. i grabbed my phone and locked myself in my room. she found out i took my phone, and once i unlocked the door i held my phone above my head so we can just talk. instead she got on top of me and started scratching me and all over my arms to get to my phone. i dropped it from the pain of the scratches on my arms. earlier that same day i was getting ready for school with my laptop open, camera taped over, looking for any school assignments i missed. my mom unlocked my door and saw my nude body getting ready with my laptop open, and just went back to the kitchen table and told my dad how much of a slut i am and how im posting my nude body on the internet. i quickly put on clothes and came up to her yelling how im just getting ready for school and how theres tape over the camera. i even told her to look at the laptop, the only thing open was google classroom. my dad got up and started yelling at me for being a slut and for talking back. for once i finally got tired of being yelled at, i finally stood up for myself. he punched me in the face and when my mom got in between to defend me (she caused the whole situation), his swings went back in on her stomach. i screamed dont hit my mother and tried to push her off him, he used the oppurtunity to grab my shoulder by my uniform and punch me in the shoulder. everything was a blur after that. my mother drove me to school and yelled how i shouldnt have been a whore on the internet. i fought back. before i got to school i yelled “please, just fuck off”. this is important later, because she used me saying that as the excuse for her getting on top of me and scratching me and ripping my backpack off my back. because i swore at her. it was okay. but here’s the important part. he hit me in front of the camera. i knew the police would ignore the emotional abuse ive been getting for my entire life. i got my physical evidence. finally, after 16 years, i had my evidence. i told my boyfriend what happened, and we agreed to meet after school the next day and call the police. i wanted to be emancipated, since my parents adamantly agreed that i (apparently) only wanted to be emancipated because my ‘poor street rat n****r boyfriend’ was manipulating me into it. ive been dreaming of this day since i was 8, when i realized what ive been told wasnt normal. they showed up on the corner of where i called. i told the policemen what happened to me the day before. they asked if i had any scars or bruises. i said no, he didnt punch me hard enough to get a bruise the next day, and my mother didnt scratch me hard enough to get scars. they knew what would happen if they gave me physical evidence. after i said that, the policeman interrogating me asked me something that will stay with me until the day i die. “he never really hit you, did he?” i began crying and saying yes! yes he did! i have video footage to prove it! we have cameras in the house! it happened right in front of the cameras! more questions ensued, and i was brought to the police station while my boyfriend waited at a local coffeeshop for me to finally be free from the abuse. at first i was scared, but the cops calmed me down. i told them everything. all my memories spilled from my mouth like water from the niagra falls. everything came rushing out, my fears, my forgotten memories i forced into my box of never to be remembered, the times before i feared for my life, the times i knew something wasnt right. i told them everything from the bottom of my heart. they listened and asked all the right questions.(if you want to know what happened to me and what i told them, ill post them in a future post if anyone cares) one of the officers, the only one with melanin skin and a father to a beautiful girl, expressively felt sick from my stories, from my life. not even he could understand why, as a father, why any parent would find it right to do to me what they did. he was my favourite police officer, he was the kindest and the only one who really wanted me to feel comfortable. he talked to me on the level of a person, not a child. eventually cps came and he told me to tell her everything too. i did. she asked where i wanted to go if i got emancipated. i said to live with my boyfriend, his family is willing to take me in and once i get a job ill pay minimal rent so i can be free. she said ‘no, you cant live with a minor.’ i said he’s not a minor, he’s 18. she said ‘oh, then yeah you definetly cant live with him’ she said if i wanted to leave i would be put into a women’s shelter since i was too old to be adopted/put into foster care. she said i would be r*ped if i was put in there. she said i should just take it until im 18, then ill be fine. she said that there were no scars or bruises, so it wasnt that bad. (this part is blurry, the more i remember it the more the memories overlap, im sorry for any confusion) the police interrogated my parents. they believed every word they said. my mother used whitepages as a source to prove how my boyfriend lied about his name. my mother used our hours long calls to prove how im obviously being manipulated to lie. she said how im just a liar, as my father said, a pathological liar. they had no cause to me being a pathological liar, i was just born that way. i was lying to get into my manipulative boyfriend’s arms for my body to be used by him and his friends. i was obviously being manipulated, why would i want to leave my loving parents arms? i was obviously doing this just out of anger of getting my laptop and phone taken away, obviously. its not like they EVER did anything wrong to me, they were just teaching me to grow up a mature adult, ready for the world. they would never put their hands on me. the police never looked at the cameras. they never questioned me again. i was a liar. at home the child protective services lady said my room quote ‘ranked of weed’. i have never done weed. my boyfriend has never done weed in my room. at the station they said they couldnt find a record of my boyfriend. i later found out that, even after he gave them his social security number, they still questioned his existence. at the station they told my parents they couldnt find his record (he has none, hes never committed a crime). at home a therapist came. to my knowledge, my boyfriend was never real (no record) and i would still have to be at home. i wanted to die. the therapist said she wanted to take me to a mental hospital. my mom was there and consented. my dad later came home, yelled at me in front of the therapist. she said im suicidal, with his consent she would call her supervisor to take me to the local mental hospital. he consented. while she called her supervisor from across the kitchen, he said: “she wants to kill herself? fuck if i care, she can drown herself in a river for all i care” i sat there shocked. the mental hospital was a blur. once i got home i got my phone taken away too. my only communication would be from the 10+ year old computer we have in the kitchen. facing out so anyone that walks by can see what im doing. one of the cameras is watching me at all times, but is positioned so that it cant see what i am doing. once i got home i used our kindle fire. i logged into discord on incognito mode. i asked him to send me his birth certificate. was he even real? was i even real? was our late nights of cuddling nothing? were the walks in the park nothing? were the ‘i love you’s nothing? did meeting his family from an hour long train ride mean nothing? were the chinese food dates nothing? were the confessions of our embarassing secrets nothing? were the times we had non-vaginal sex and laughed in the middle from how silly we were being mean nothing? were the times we had tiffs and talked it out mean nothing? did he save me from my ex-abusive partner just to use me? were the times we layed down next to each other with the only covering being my blanket, staring at each other in wonder of how lucky each of us were, was that nothing? when we spent hours telling each other our entire life stories, was he lying? did the times he called my body the most beautiful thing he ever has seen, the times he’s said he didnt think he’d ever fall in love again from his ex, was that a lie? he sent his birth certificate. it was real. his birth date his name it was all real. he told me what happened to him. i told him what happened to me. he apologized for it going the way it did. i apologized for doubting him. child protective services sent a therapist me and my mother had to meet with weekly. 2 hours, 10 times. it lasted until the first weeks of quarantine. me and him are still in the same love we’ve has since before he found out how truly insane my parents are. the only reason we’ve ever gotten into fights is from how much he wants me to run away (before you say ‘ok maybe the parents were right, he sounds manipulative’, no, he only says that after every time something else happens at home and how he has to cope with the fact that im okay with being abused since its my normal. he wants me to run away from the abuse, not just so we can see each other again, so i wont be hurt anymore). he’s still the man i want to marry, the man i want to call mine and for him to call me his. we get scared the other might get tired of the waiting and just decide to leave for someone each other’s family would like. we talk through it. we know we can wait. i know i can take it until im 18. he knows he’ll be prepared to take me in once im 18. we know we can take the late nights awake, missing each other. we can take it because this isnt puppy love. this isnt purely passionate love. he wants me to be safe, and i want to finally be free. so you’re up to this point and you’re probably thinking one of three things: jesus christ can this lady capitalize anything?? or holy FUCK this is long it better be good or why did she title her post that? first of all, i do what a want nehenehenehneh second of all, whoever reads this needs the full context before i ask my question third of all, because of what happened a couple of days ago. a month ago my dad passed from covid-19. ive become the housewife while my mother has taken over the family business and my brother does the grass once a month. my mother still cooks, but i clean the dishes and fold laundry every day and vaccuum the whole house twice a week. a letter came in the other day stating how our child protective services case is now closed. they never found signs of physical abuse or neglect. my mother reminded me for the infinitieth time how stupid i am for getting manipulated. how much of a dirty n*****r lover i am. how i will never be anything without her. then she brought my father into this i started the situation, which made him depressed. he was depressed, so he couldnt fight off the virus. because he couldnt fight off the virus, he died. she blamed me for killing my father she blamed me for my father for deciding to go out every day without a mask for my father deciding to put in his eyedrops in an insanitary environment she blamed me it was my fault i knew i was leaving when im 18 i knew i wanted to tell my mother at least a month before i left that i was leaving but now theres no going back once im 18, im gone im never turning back i will never be treated like this or talked down like this ever again but who will clean? who will vaccuum? who will make sure the house is organized? do i stay? can i even go? i just dont know anymore should i go? and well, what i started this post with, please tell me, am i in the wrong? for planning on leaving when im 18? to finish this post, i just want to say a few things. dont tell me to call the police or child protective services.i already did. they believed my abusive parents and told them how they can protect themselves against me, since i was the one who started all this. plus, look at the fucking news. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. my boyfriend looks hispanic and i look white. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. fuck cops. not all cops are bad, but no cop should fucking gun down people for their race. no person should be judged from some racist person saying “oh im fearing for my life” and the person in question is black/a poc and is doing fucking nothing. they believed my fucking abusive parents because they threw my bf under the bus as bait and the police went for it. dont come after my family. all that will do is make everything worse for me. my mother can’t even look at a poc without claiming they’re related to my boyfriend and are going to follow her to kill her. dont do anything to me. just please answer my question. please just tell me if im in the right or if im in the wrong. i know this is abuse. i know whats happening to me is wrong. but i know i can take it. i know i can survive. i will survive and achieve my dream of becoming a doctor. i will be my own person. i am me

#numb #mental illness #abuse #trauma #sad #sadness #abusive #hurt #depression #acab #amitheasshole #aita #deep #emotionalabuse

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avajpeg · 4 years

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Okay so what's going on in this life of yours?

JDKFKS you really want to know huh. You really want to get into it huh. Let this be said before i get into it: i am extremely hungover and have a shit ton of work to do, so my mind is all over the place. I‘m cant put this under a read more because i‘m on mobile so im sorry to all innocent bystanders

Basically we did our festival live show on wednesday/thursday and i did camera work with him through both days and like... at this point im extremely Not imagining things you know? Like on wednesday i thought i might because i asked him if we wanted to grab some food after the rehearsals (he told me he didnt eat all day, fucking idiot. You dont plan to go to the studio for 8 hours without eating before.) so i was like „lets get something to eat after.“ and he literally was like „:) yea i was planning to head down to the supermarket to get some potatoes for dinner :)“ like. Fucking potatoes. I pep talked myself for half an hour to get that sentence out i didnt expect to be dateblocked by fucking potatoes. And as i stood there extremely dumbstruck he turned back around like „except if you want to get like, some pizza, with me exclusively?“ but i was tired (8h in the studio) so i was like „............. 👁👁 ................“ and that was that. Idiot.

Anyways next day i‘m supposed to do an interview with one of the bands with someone else and we turn up at the place and he‘s there with someone else like „uh... we‘re doing the interview?“ and i was like „no i already told you I‘M doing the interview? You stood next to me when they asked me to do it?“ anyways we were like „well we only need two people to do this“ and he went „well why dont we both?“ so the others left and we did. It turned out shit (on my part, oopsie :/ ) but we did it, but it literally boggles my mind.

Evening rolls around and we‘re doing the cameras and as soon as our parts are over he‘s like „alright im leaving“ and i was like „.. o already?“ he stops and thinks and goes „hm... well you guys are staying too right... alright“ so he sat down with us (being fm and me) but the band that played next was SHIT. Afterwards he gets up and just fucking leaves without saying goodbye. Im blaming it on the band. The last one was fucking awesome and he missed it probably because he was busy with his dumb potatoes probably. Anyways he‘s going back to his family this weekend so i‘ll probably wont be seeing him again soon because we‘re going back into lockdown.

Yesterday then we had a few friends over for halloween (yea i kno but we‘re all sitting on top of each other anyways) and that one girl was there again and she just fucking loves talking about how well she fucking gets along with him right, like my jealousy is extremely evil about her because she cannot shut up about how they text so much and how drunk he was recently after he made them both dinner and she „sat down and looked pretty“ (one of their inside jokes 👁👁) and how she had to get him into bed and how he also changed in front of her and how he looks like physically which is a fucked up thing to talk about in front of others when said person isnt there but also 😐😐 shut up shut up shut UP.

yea so he wasnt there because we agreed that he‘s pretty popular (👀) and hangs out a lot with people we dont really trust (which is also like... yea but i hung around him all week so whatever i guess?) and we didnt want to take chances.

There was however someone else there who‘s a friend of fm‘s bf and she‘s the person i originally, some months ago, wanted to go see mcr with (which probably wont happen bc you know.) and like... i‘m extremely oblivious to many things but that woman was flirting so hard with me and i‘d like to imagine i was flirting back but i dont really fucking know what counts as flirting at this point and whats only playful banter. I dont know her pretty well because i‘ve only ever met her on two occasions (yesterday being one of them) but i do like her a lot and at the end i was considering asking her to stay the night simply because she‘s living some time away and it was two am and she went alone after drinking a lot but i didnt in the end and im just.

I dont fucking know like at this point its not fucking funny anymore. Because like i said i have a shit ton of work to do so why the fuck do i go ahead and get a crush on two people who i barely have any real contact to you know.... like i GUESS they like me too but i literally. Cannot communicate with them. I‘m spending all day staring at my phone hoping that our time together meant enough to them to reach out to me but the thought of me just texting THEM makes me curl up in disgust at myself so yea. Call that emotional trauma. Now twice as hard as before!

Fm and bf are still sleeping rn but the other girl (who hangs out a lot with him™️) just fucking told me „hey there were some sparks flying tonight huh ;)))“ last night and i had to keep a straight face because the whole thing is so fucking surreal to me. Growing up ugly and all that stuff. So i‘ll be extremely on sight when they both wake up later and tell me about all the ways that her and me would look cute together.

Also. Anna if you‘re reading this, go eat some fucking avocado on your oatmeal and text me. i want to hang out. Ugh.

#anon thank you for your interest and im also very sorry #... so like.... a new player has entered the battlefield #thank god i only spent 45 minutes on this reply...#long post #personal

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lost-ghoost · 5 years

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A lot of fkin shiet happened in life and i havent written a thing...

Lets start with new and will go to old shiet okay so today i had panic attack after year(?) In my bfs house... im turning 18soon and i have golden birthday i have planned to go one place ,,tskhaltubo" theres abandoned sanitarium and its freakin beautiful that place was in my dreams and after days i found it on internet and i have dreamed to go there but plans are ruined... so i have been really sad about it because i hate my birthdays and i just wanted golden one to be different... soo my anxiety got worse suits doesnt work on me anymore i cleaned room it didnt helped either... i went to my bf i tought i would do things i had to like choosing music for videos while he was playi ng on pc or me drawing i have this urge to draw i dont know why and we just fucked because he was down because of game and i wanted to cheer him up i wore all slutty as he liked and we just fucked i even did bj... and i almost puked twice but everything for him ya know... i was just dead so i tought at least one of us will have good mood... i was quiet on bed searchig for music he started hurting me because,,i didnt talk to him" while he wasnt even starting conversation... i just couldnt be active u know? I was so down im thinking to let go of my every dream so this shit doesnt happen i felt really bad... i felt like that time of period when i didnt care what would happen with me i would die or no or whatever would happen but i didnt want to die this time i was just hugging pillow didnt care about thing just wanted to do something to keep my mind busy but he kept hurting me... i know he doesn't know any better so im used to it but he hurt me so much i just cried because i couldnt keep it and he started saying why didnt u tell me it hurt?! I just didnt care... and he kept hurting me then he got all angry and started asking me stuff wich didnt go in mind it was too messy there i dont even remember what he asked he was staring at me and i got super nervous... i started playing with fingers he stopped me... then i started biting my lips he stopped me again... i was playing with fingers but it just didnt help i got that my ticks kept my mind busy as well and it went all physical so mind wouldn't have full control of body so he stopped me every time i did something and i couldnt hold it anymore it just snapped i started shaking fully he got up from bed and was watching me as i was some sort of show it had more affect i dont know why and i was shaking on his bed... he was just looking and i kept shaking and crying covering my face so i wouldnt scream or do worse i was in others house it wasnt my room... it was all a huge mess i had to keep myself all together i had to pick up my pieces... so it was the most short panic attack... tears came like river i was hiding my face he started asking me: did you have heart attack?

I nodded my head ass no

N: did u have attack?

Me: i nodded head as yes

N: it was panic? Panic attack?

Me: i nodded as yes

N: this is your panic attack? U shake and cry? U dont knock out?

I was silent he sat on floor and i was thinking hows different panic attack didnt he say he had one as well? But it wasnt time for those toughts he saw me having a panic attack on his bed its first time anyone has seen me... no wait my brother was first and it was worse! No whatever think about him keep yourself together! I just got tissue from backpack and calmed myself down i sat next to him he started crying he wanted to cry alone but i just didnt leave him he wont be alone suffering as i did or will be... i will always be with him to comfort him he calmed down soon... i tried to ,,correct" my mood and i was tryig to be all happy and stuff and it kinda made everything better i ordered food and thats all...

GIRL KISSED ME AND MY FRIEND RAN AWAY.

okay this one now... two days ago i finished my school completely and i was sleepy tired just woke up face i was huge mess not gonna lie but my bf saw me worse(i was going to bf after exams) so me my classmate and one girl who i knew were out after exam i was going at my bf and girl said i look bad and i should look better for bf so she would put lipstick on me i tought ya i should look good for bf i will be pretty for him maybe he will like me with lipstick because im really bad with make up and he said once he would love to see me in little make up so i was like meh why not and she started to put it on because i dont know how YES IM 18 AND I DONT KNOW HOW MAKE UP WORKS and she just kissed me... i felt like a cheater i felt like i have put dirt on our pure relationship i felt he would never kiss me i tought nothing ever would be same i ran to him i was thinking calmly but when i saw him and started telling him story i just cried so much i almost had 3panic attacks but in his arms i calmed down his soft a bit scared voice would calm me down he just said it was bad what happened but its not my fault and he kissed me he calmed me down i wanyed to cut god damn lips off it was disgusting... aaaand worse my classmate and she are now in relationship after two days ,,they love each other" and WANT TO GET MARRIED AFTER DAYS and wanna hear the worst? They asked us to be their bridesmaid... LIKE WTF before they asked me that and my bf my classmate ran away i told them where he would be but they didnt check it good... fkin idiots and made me worry... i just want to leave those two idiots alone... p.s: my classmate said i was overreacting... they dont know how much i love this man and how much he means to me they never even been into serious rp and i just...

BESTIE.

I nwo hire whoever wants to have a best friend because my best friend has left the chat... he has gf aaand doesn't care about anyone person who told me he would vet old with me has left me... i had huge fight with my real brother as well he is a complete dick and i see it now...

Nothing good is happening in my life yet so i dont know what will happen...

0 notes

norman-reedus-gossip-mod · 7 years

Text

bulk

--mod-- you know the deal

Anon: anon people don' like her cos she cheated on 1st husband and cheated on JJ twice. She sneaked around with NR all year. She set him up last week. She told stories to the papers (this was proven actually if you look). She is rude to people and even stalked his ex girlfriends social media and liked posts to make him to be a liar. She lies herself and sets up pap shots for herself all the time. She is a fake and the reason she doesn't get much work is cos people dontlike working with her.

Anon: There is indeed a girl on twitter who says NR was with his girlfriend. Someone asked if he was alone and she answered "con su novia" (with his girlfriend).

Anon: Just my theory , norman's peeps wouldnt lie and def not sayingg " just friends" if norm knew he would dating her 2 weeks after they denied it , i think she is in love with norman and tries to get his attention as much as she can (and yes incl media) , norm know for sure she likes him so he might invited her AS A FRIEND to hangout in Spain or Barcelona (wherever they are)OR talk about stuff and thaangzzz , which i hope so he can make her mouth shut to call the media or her worthless attention. 😊

Anon: Mod what do you make of the pics with fans? Why would he take pics with fans if DK were right there? Maybe it's not even her. Maybe it was someone from the gallery. --mod-- I just assumed he was alone.

Anon: So you still think norman and diane are not dating? --mod-- Basically

Anon: sorry for English. I am so sad . Is he lie? How to trust anything from him? --mod-- Nothing's confirmed. Just suspicion and speculation

Anon: And i was about to say " i finally live happy in my Normie fantasy , hopefully that one person wont ruined it" , apparently i would say it too soon 😂 --mod-- So you're the jinx ehh anon

Anon: norman as a fuck buddy that is willing to travel to the other side of the ocean for sloppy seconds?! lol of course he denied...he doesnt have anything serious with her...what is he going to say now? oh this is my friend that i fuck now and again??like he comes like a major dishonest person regardless of their status. actually have nothing to do with that is the way he dealt with it. --mod-- Whys it gotta be sloppy tho.

Pinyah: This mean JDM agree with Norman and dk thing? --mod-- I couldn't guess

Anon: I personally didn't see the comment so maybe you can dig it up but someone on IG said the girl who took the picture of Norman and the unknown woman on his bike said it's his curator "Laurie". Again not sure if true because I didn't see her comment by myself. If she said it we could easily put the upcoming shitstorm to rest already. I sure hope it's right.

Anon: Yep Mod, look at normanreedustea. One of the girls who posted her pics with Norman was asked on Twitter if he was alone and she answered "con su novia" which means "with his gf". And why would she say this if it wasn't obvious it's his gf. Deeply disappointed and disgusted of him. No longer going to support him. Official lying is such a shame. Hope his reps and AMC are going to kick his ass for this debacle

Anon: Well ok I was in grammar school when HC(who can I just take a moment to say how cool and beautiful she is, goals people) and N were a thing, but I I highly doubt this is the same thing. Tbh up until Sky came out, I thought January Jones and DK were the same person lol All jokes aside, if this were his gf, or shit someone he bangs on the reg, wouldn't he I dunno see her more than occasionally hanging out? Like if I remember correctly didn't his child bride (CS) used to visit in GA? lmao. Mod?

Anon: To the anon that says DK stalks his exes, is this true? Cause that's a lifetime movie in the making I can totally get behind. Where's PRwife when we need her? She seems to know her shit.

Anon: I don't know who NR and DK think they're fooling at this point 😂 does anyone still believe they're not a couple?! --mod-- Me

Anon:   

Wow, a lot of people think Norman "owes" his fans the truth about his romantic life. He really, really doesn't. If you want to think he's a liar because his rep said he & DK are friends, OK. But maybe think about, if he did lie, are there reasons he might, including possibly the way fans react? Why would he put DK through that if they aren't even sure themselves if they're a couple? There are lots of reasons that he might "lie" that don't have anything to do with disrespecting fans.   Anon:  Hi mod, i just came to say goodbye and thank you for this blog <3 i think i'm done with the dk thing and i need a break from this blogs and stuff. I'm sad not because he's with her, but because he denied the rumors and, even if they are just friend (which i don't believe), he's not taking care of his reputation right now. At least he could stay away from her a pair of weeks of something, to shut the rumors, but he didn't. He deserves to be happy, i know, but i'm just done with him. Love you mod! --mod-- Well come by and say hi sometime I'll be here  

Anon:   I find it funny that Norman's people had that video removed. Shows how much we can trust him and his people. 

--mod-- Who said he had his people remove it. You do realize that it had something on it the was supposed to be a surprise feature in the show right  Anon:  I don't get all the hate. He's a grown man and can be together with whom he wants. I don't like DK, but it's his private business. And he doesn't have to render an account of his private life. And if he says to the public that they aren't together to have at least some kind of privacy, that's totally fine bye me.    

Anon:  

Maybe I was wrong, maybe it's DK that has a magic 🐱, cause it sounds like he's risking his reputation and career on her. I just think he needs to either come clean, or she can pull the stick out of her ass and say something. I still don't think they're in a serious rs, but regardless, it's kind of shady. I mean if I had a bf and he was going to basketball games with other women and walking around acting single, I'd cut his dick off and feed it to him lol    Anon:  I don't want to shit on anybody's parade but have you guys seen the the accounts that has commented on the IG user's that posted those pic? Except maybe one or two EVERYONE shares the same things, saying the same things. It seems to be one person but with different accounts. This takes the credibility down a lot. Someone seems out to just spread gossip and ruin lives       

Anon:  

Mod is it 100% confirmed that it's her? Maybe it's me but I don't think Norman would be taking selfies with Fans on the street while DK was standing beside him...? 

--mod-- Nothing's been confirmed   

Anon:  

look, i always side eyed him for even being friends w her. having followed her career a bit before i even got in to TWD (after the QT movie), she just seems like a nasty piece of work, & I don't know what NR sees in her. that said, if he actually fucks someone on the DL, while getting his rep to officially deny even casually dating, then that would be as scummy a move as any desperate game she has played. possibly worse. i really hope NR is such a fucking lowlife  and thats not to say NR can't fuck people casually, but to me, its one thing to have a fuck buddy or hook up w one nighters, its an entirely different thing to constantly have someone fly around to meet you, spend time together, fuck them on a very regular basis, and then deny that you even casually date. there is nothing wrong w saying "they go out but its not serious". its really gross to hide a woman, shuffle her around, fuck her, then say "we're just friend" while having her meet 2 fuck   

Anon: Do people need their eyes checked those purses are not the same and neither are the boots go take a good look at them I swear as soon as people think it's DK they believe everything I'm giving norman the benefit of the doubt until I see her actual face

 Anon: *Also to be fair, I can put on Twitter right now I saw Norman blowing dudes behind an Arby's, it doesn't make it true. Although he seems to be classier than Arby's, maybe In N Out?

 --mod-- Dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣  

Anon:

DK posted a picture of her and Fabienne yesterday, and they were both at his Paris art show, so they're probably both just there supporting him for his Barcelona show  

Anon: Mod I have a theory: I think Norman has INVITED DK to the 2nd art show this time because of all the hate she was getting over the garage pics (even though it's obvious she *did* set them up) I think he's trying to show that he's still FRIENDS with her to the public. And maybe he thinks because he officially denied it that everything would be fine on his side. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. So he has to do something to clear the air AGAIN imo because this is only hurting him Anon: Ok, you can so tell that DK & NR are dating! N wants to keep it a low profile cuz he knows his fans tend to get a lil craycray and he feels bad for all the threats towards his gfs. Plus those pics from Spain... that's definitely her purse & shoes. Common. But honestly, N has gotta live his life and be happy; his true fans would support him. I may not like DK, and I doubt their relationship would last that long anyway 😂 ..but whatever. Don't let it bother ya'll too much. ✌🏻 Anon:  

Have to vent about ppl saying it's none of our business-True we have no say in what he does& he doesn't owe us explanation, but when we're spending our money buying into an image he puts forth on a regular basis & repeats in all his interviews only to find out that he isn't any of the things he claims to be, I think there's a right to be upset about who we thought we were supporting. It's not that he COULD be with someone, it's that he would have lied about it after preaching honesty. :(

    normanreedusdaryldixon32 : 

I just want to say over the DK thing.  I’ve been a fan of Norman since the boondock saints and now. I always supported him and I loved how cute, sweet, honest to his fans which he still is to his fans. In my opinion since he done the film ‘Sky’ he has changed. He says that he hates “dishonest people” but his acting like one. I do believe he deserves a woman who loves, respects, cares, supports him now matter what. But DK is not that type a girl as we all know. I hate the fact he lied to his fan or whatever. I also don’t understand 'if’ they are “friends” what kind of friend goes over to Spain to see them It doesn’t make any sense to me. I think Norman should get his head out of his ass and just think for once. Like a said before I do believe he deserve a woman that loves, cares, respects, ect. But DK is disrespectful, rude, mean, treats her fans like shit. I don’t want Norman turning into that person. Maybe he won’t turn into that person. But I just don’t get what does he see in her? DK must be so desperate. But now I’m so disappointed in you Norman. 😔    

Anon:  

mod I saw on ig that norman's make up artist says she was with him today? is that true? because why would he have been riding around with dk, met with the curator and gone to a make up artist all in a day? maybe it's not dk?   

Anon:  

DK's style, behavior, and interests "suddenly changed" since she's been gunning for NR. She's seeking to trap him and she's just about there. She's as manipulative and inauthentic as they come. Hope NR thinks it's worth it, that and all the money he's going to lose to this scheming woman. Now is when he needs a true friend to give it to him straight, but everyone is afraid tip-toeing around the glaring issue.  

normanreedusdaryldixon32 :  

This is not a question: Seeing Norman on that bike with DK makes me so angry. Let me explain why because I've been a fan of Norman since the boondock saints. I loved how cute and honest to his fans. But now since he done 'Sky' he has been very disappointing lately. He says he hates people are dishonest but he acting like one. But do believe he deserves a woman who truly loves him and not just for his work or fame. But Dk is not that kind of girl she's so dishonest ect. It's disappointing Norman    

Anon:  

To the ones grasping at straws saying he didn't lie, you're leaving out the part where the denial said JUST friends. JUST meaning ONLY friends as in no romance. They also denied a romantic trip which the implications of that are a romance. But they denied the trip thereby also denying a romance. Sorry guys. He lied.  

--mod-- Question, does having say a friend with benefits, not saying that's what's going on, considered romantic?

 Anon:  

So mod I respect your opinin the most. What do you make of all of that stuff with the biker girl? Do you think it's DK? And if you do, then what do think of the denial? It's very confusing if he issued a denial only to be caught redhanded with her again two weeks later. I can't figure out what he would be thinking. I also saw some fanselfies he was taking which is odd if she were with him. What do you think? --mod-- I'll be perfectly honest. I really just don't care. It doesn't matter if it's her or it's not. I think the denial still stands, I'm mean I've travel half way around the world to visit a guy friend, and no we weren't playing flesh Tetris. But again I super unbothered and don't really care who's beast he's smothering   Anon:  This guy is just an ass. He is letting DK play people and he doing it as well. People hate cheaters and liars. You have both right here. Surely you don't deny the dishonesty?   

Anon:  Mod, did you find out who it was on the bike? Was it her? --mod-- Nope   

Anon:

 I'm telling you folks, if that video was taken down it was because it was bought by Reedus' folks. What a damn fool he is to risk so much on such a classless woman. Do you believe it was purchased before gossip rags got to it?

   Anon:  

I can't stop crying. It just changes everything about him. He's not the same guy. he was so special and down to earth to me and now he is no better than anyone else in showbiz. He sells fans an image for money and he doesn't care about any of us. not really or he wouldn't have lied. He tried to trick us into thinking he wasn't with her and even released a pr statement saying they were just friends? I am so depressed i can't stop crying  

--mod-- You shouldn't cry anon. Just because he's made a few mistakes and maybe has tried to hide something, doesn't change him completely, we all do shady things in life but that doesn't change us completely. Sure he may have lied and avoided telling the truth but that doesn't negate the time and effort he gives fans. But I do understand why you feel the way you do

 Anon:  

i'm sorry to be rude but this man is ignorant as hell playing this game and clearly he doesn't realize just how this is going to back fire. He's risking it all for a tramp. DK has what she wants, attention. She is sacrificing NR in the process and he's just stupid. Hate he is such a liar and now proven to have no character at all. He made a lot of professionals look like idiots. What an asshole. What's your position Mod? --mod-- I don't have one. I'm not bothered by it.   

Anon:  

Norman is a huge disappointment. Not only is he a LIAR but also a COWARD & a SNEAK. Not to mention a CHEATER!!! I lost all respect for him. He just lost a long time fan.    

Anon:  

Mod I can't even watch TWD anymore bc I hate Norman for LYING to his fans & sneaking around like we wouldn't find out. He thinks we're all stupid & doesn't give a shit about us. He disrespects his fans therefore I cannot continue to be his fan bc I need to admire & look up to someone I spend time following on IG, watching his shows, spending money on his movies, photo ops, merchandise, etc. He doesn't respect his fans so I don't respect HIM anymore. I'm done. Goodbye Mod & the nice ladies here --mod-- Farewell Dear Anon until we meet again  

Anon:  

Hey Mod, I was looking at the pics and I don't think it's the same shoes as DK. If you look at the ones in the NYC pic there don't seem to be a distinct heel. The chick on the bike, her shoes have a heel you can see. Also, that's not the same backpack she has in the NYC pic. DK has a purple backpack on. The purse is the only thing that's fishy imo.    

Anon:  

It doesn't prove anything mod but I just noticed that DK's knapsack in the NYC pics are purple. The girl on the bike has a black knapsack.    Anon:  I kind of hope after this if he isn't giving DK the hot beef injection, he's fucking someone, cause this is crazy. If i were him I'd be putting in everyone --mod-- 🤣🤣🤣🤣

   Anon:  

Is traveling across the ocean to visit him a gf thing to do? Hell yeah. But its also a wealthy person with a freelance/travel heavy career thing to do. Are they dating. I don't know but its obvious they're friends. With all that hate she gets from being connected to him this visit is a surprising choice to make but she's older than me so I guess she gives less of a crap about what bullies think. That's something to look forward to! lol

Anon: NR's reps denied the kiss rumor and the weekend rumor. This is the only official comment. There was no one saying they'd see each other ever again.   rebellacycle:  Hey mod been reading all the posts on here on dk and norm . Do you think she will be at the art show if so that will be interesting.  

 Anon:  

It seemed like there were quite a few fans around NR posting on twitter. If they all saw DK with him I'm surprised literally no one recognized her. Isn't she considered a famous actress and supposedly even more than NR * Anon:  

I want to cry. I believed him. I believed his denial and defended him against everything. How could he just lie like that? I know I don't know him but I never thought he of all people would do something like that to his fans. If he's really with her, I can't be his fan anymore. I don't want to watch Ride or TWD now   

Anon:  

I've always wanted Caryl to happen. I don't nos because I don't won't the beautiful MMB to have those disgusting, lying Norman lips on hers.    

Anon:

 Oh look in that video there are two blonde ladies in black jackets. How's that for a fucking coincidence lol    

Anon:  

i hope this whole thing don't affect TWD, which ratings are already low :(   

Anon:  

Mod are we sure it's not the curator with her hair up? She has a black leather looking coat on from the vid. I know the purse and the shoes are a little bit suspicious but the hair may be just tied back and you can't see it in the pic.   

Anon:  

Uh, the NYC garage pics didn't "just happen". Diane paid Daily Mail and TMZ and tipped them off, seemingly without NR's knowledge. The accompanying articles were filed with misinformation yet somehow they know about his place upstate? So its pretty clear she wants to go public with whatever they do or don't have. IF he's sneaking around with her, he's doing it for himself because he doesn't want to even publicly acknowledge it. She clearly wants him to. That makes me kinda sad for her.   

Anon:  

Hello Mod, thank you for all you do. I always see eye to eye with you and appreciate your level head. I have never commented, but I want to say that no matter what NR & DK "relationship " is, was, whatever, or if she's in Spain or not,when his opening roles around everyone please be prepared, don't be naive, she WILL be there, taking pics, with fb and her "posse". This is about publicity for herself. I am not passing judgment, just stating what I think will occur and why. Take Care Mod.  

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depressedtheatregirl · 4 years

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@hollywoodforeverr

who’s your celebrity crush?

probabl tom holland or 90′s leo dicaprio <3

are you single or taken?

taken, just got my first bf!

rant. just do it

I think that abortion should be legal because as of right now the only reason it’s illegal is because stupid men keep passing idiotic laws on womens bodies. Young ladies are told to be responsible and they wont get pregnant, but that’s not always the case!!

do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

No, I think that the artist should always at least get a credit if thats what you mean

how many accounts do you have?

Three. This one ( @depressedtheatregirl )

this one ( @fangirl-all-the-time-bi )

and this one, which i almost never post on ( @cottagecore-darkacademia )

how many pairs of shoes do you have?

We’re moving, so I got rid of a lot, but mainly 7

opinion on… (specify to the person you’re asking to)

i am confusion

how many accounts do you follow?

um let me check

180 because sometimes i sit and just follow all my recommended because people want followers and i think im a pretty nice person :)

favorite brand of clothing?

Idk but i love almost anything from shein and hot topic but im not goth i just love dark academia

name a dog

kingsley

or like BB so i could just call him/her baby

what unusual talent do you have?

crying for hours on end for no reason

i have a wide vocal range

what’s the most interesting schools gossip you’ve ever heard?

Best friends since 4th grade broke up because one called the other “fat and disgusting”

School hoe (my best friend) rejects popular “bad kid” for like the fourteenth time and switches to homeschool, screw it

ever prank called a store?

yeah me and my sister used to prank call Bojangles and just say in our most valley girl voice possible “Is this that WE HAVE THE MEATS place?” “omg NO beth, thats AR-BEES”

what’s your coffee order?

Starbucks: Venti Mango Dragonfruit Refresher with extra ice (call me basic but its good)

Dunkin: Small Caramel Latte with Extra Whip

what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

are you ok?

are you and Christian ever gonna date?

what the heck are you doing?

if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I would get an anchor or a cross on my wrist (we love jesus here in this household)

I kind of want to get a tattoo that says ‘FEMINIST’ on my arm

google the top song from the year you were born

LOVE STORY BY TAYLOR SWIFT BABYYY (Also pls dont try to find out my age from this)

rant about your favorite musician

ok I love Barrett Wilbert Weed. She plays Janis in Broadway’s Mean Girls and Veronica in Broadway’s HEATHERS (My favortie musical) and she just has such a wide vocal range and strong belt, its just beautiful.

I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT She has the same political views as i do, she’s such a boss, but she has a man too so yeah, she writes such great music, she just seems like an all around great person. Love her and my fave album is reputation.

what’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

This is hard so im gonna put the top 3: NUMBER 1: My 4th grade teacher Mrs. Stone. She was super fun, she let us stand up and walk around during class if we needed to move, she read the first book of my favorite series, a series of unfortunate events, to the class, introducing me to it, and she and the 5th grade teacher had an ongoing prank war that ended up being a thing between the classes too. She moved to Scotland though. shes cool.

My 6th grade history teacher, now the principal of the school. He just made history SO fun, and he loves fanboying over harry potter with me. He’s just such a fun and hilarious person.

My 6th grade math teacher, now works at a performing arts school... teaching math. He had such a soothing monotone voice, i dont even know what was so great about him, other then he used to fanboy over harry potter with me and his voice was soothing. He was a great teacher and he loved making dad jokes and bringing his newborn to school. When he left, he wrote EVERY STUDENT IN THE SCHOOL A PERSONAL HANDWRITTEN GOODBYE NOTE. He had been there for like 10 years.

describe your blog in 3-5 words

Theater-kid-esque

swiftie

click

kind (ig i say nice things abt random blogs on it a lot so)

what’s a conspiracy you believe in?

nothing comes to mind

I dont believe in this, but i remember a cray alex jones theory that hillary clinton is the ringleader of a child s3x trafficking ring

if you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

Taylor Swift Lover Stadium tour if it was still happening

if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

NAIL BITING (I AM SO CLOSE)

can you dance? sing?

... can’t really dance without choreography, but I think I can sing. I love musical theater and so therfore i know most the words to a lot of broadway songs, which require a large vocal range, which i practice on a daily basis

what’s something you can’t stop buying?

various types of candy

anything organization

crowds or small groups?

depends I perform for crowds, but am uncomfortable performing for small groups.

I love hanging out with small groups, but get anxious with large crowds.

how long before a trip do you pack?

for summer camp, literally 2 months ahead i start packing

for trips, usually a couple days, maybe a week

what celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

Barrett Wilbert Weed

Taylor Swift

LIZZO

what quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

your limitation is only your imagination

if you had to dye your hair an unnatural color right now, what would you choose?

red or yellow

you can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

I go to a bigger private school with a better campus (i know which one I want to go to but i wont say)

how old do you get mistaken for?

14 or 15

what do you think about a lot

Christianity and sin, and interpretation of the bible. For example, i often wonder if watching porn is a sin or not? Not that Im interested in porn, cuz im not, but just is that a sin?

do you like your hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

Even before I knew I was a Ravenclaw, i thought it was the best. We stan.

what does home mean to you?

The water must not taste weird

I must know how to use the shower

I must love the inhabitants of the building. My best friends house is home. My house is home. My grandparents house is home,

what do you think you’d be arrested for?

murder or jaywalking

have you ever been called down to the principals office?

Yeah, the most recent time was I made a girl mad and I tried to apologize to her but she walked away and her two friends formed a wall around her and hurled insults to me as she cried, and i yelled “WELL IF YOU DIDNT WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE THEN YOU SHOULDNTVE CAUSED A SCENE” and i slapped her

post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

i tagged you in it

describe your aesthetic

dark academia-cottagecore

basically libraries and flowers, kind of a prep feel to it, but more depressing, which boosts my serotonin

answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

OH, GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME. There’s a back!

feel free to reblog or send me some if you’d like! this took forever so reblog please!

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damein-the-reaper-blog · 5 years

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I recently moved to California it is nice an all but the people I moved up here with I just want to sock.

Let me explain. I came up here with $700. Only $100 went to gas. One of the two, which is a couple, paid the same. Which was nice. I didn’t have to waste $200 on gas. Then I spent about close to $300 on food since at the time I didn’t have food stamps. The rest was spend on weed for them. Yes I know probably wondering why I did so. The guy has back problems and weed helps him not feel it. Understandable. I’m also a nice guy. So I gave them the money. What upset me is that they don’t know how to conserve the weed. It was about $300 in weed that probably lasted less than a month. And it wasnt a full here is $300. I gave them that in totally within a month. See what I mean? Yes I could have said no. But his back problems are so bad that he will puke. I can’t stand that AT ALL. So of course no matter what I will step forward. Of course he paid me back in gas money and little bit of weed for myself at the time. Which is fine. But over the time I have been here. He has asked about 5 more times for weed money. He gets money checks for his back. And most of it also went towards weed. So I spent another $300 on them. That in totally is $600. I COULD HAVE HAD THAT FUCKING SAVED FOR BILLS. I’m not upset about what was already paid back. I’m just now realizing that they owe me close to $250. And here I was thinking he only owed me $60. And I know the guy isnt this dense to not realize this.

But thats not all.

About 3 times he said we ALL, meaning all three of us, should start growing a pair and keep the guest house clean. We use the dishes. I said every time that I have been waiting on them cause I was cleaning up after them. I did the dishes, I took their trash and put it in the trash bin, put their recycling in bags, as well as clean the porch of their dishes and trash, and sweeped everywhere. I’m a person that would keep a hotel as nice as they present it so that the cleaners wouldn’t have to do much or even nothing at all.

The guy proposed that since me and his gf work that he will be house bitch. His words not mine. So I was holding him up to it. And most of the time the guest house was fucking disgusting. Of course I blew up about it. Yet he twisted it around and was mad I was coming at him. I tried explained my past to him and either I was cut off and he explained his past or he wasnt really listening. And at the end he said he wanted to sock me for blowing up. Yes I could have not come at him the way I did. But can you blame me? I have a past of being a shadow to everyone and mostly stepped on by others. And most of the time already spend up here was cleaning up after them. And he wants to say that? I know he isnt dense. It was obvious 100% that they were using me.

Then later I thought everything was cool. Hoping that stopped them from stepping over me. And that we are on neutral ground and that we all equally keep the guest house clean. But the dishes was still mostly in the sink and the counters littered with trash. I ignored it cause I wasn’t going to clean up after them anymore. I expected them to understand that after my outburst of cleaning up after them. Me still stupid and not realizing they think themselves as entitled. Showed them where I was keeping my snacks and said they could eat certain ones. They were good about it. After everything was eaten. I got more and it was mostly towards chocolate this time. And stuff was disappearing. I am a sweet tooth but my teeth are sensitive so I can’t eat them as fast as they were disappearing. I did yell at them twice about it. And I was blamed. Saying I probably ate it and forgot. I immediately knew that was an excuse.

Also about 2 or 3 months ago I suggested that I would like to go to bed at 8 pm. So that I can get up early. They agreed. At the time I didn’t really care cause I felt free and that I can do what I want. My room was their living room cause I had the ps4. Once I started realizing that the past doesnt matter anymore I started noticing things. That they weren’t keep my room clean and that they were staying in my room till 1 or 2 in the morning. Me wanting to be a morning person and wanting to get up early was starting to get annoying. Cause I was being forced to stay up. So I asked them to leave at 10. That is two hours past the agreed time. They agreed to that yet still was pushing past the new time. They go to the porch afterwards anyways. I didn’t see the big deal they were making it be that they desperately needed to be in my room. I asked them again more firmly that they need to leave at 10 and they should be keeping my room clean. They were doing it but was doing so half assed. Some trash was still on the ground. Not all their dishes were taken. Their cans weren’t put up. Most of the trash that were in my trash cans were overfilling and theirs. As well as the bags for the cans were overfilling. I also noticed someone was still eating my snacks. All of that showed they had no respect towards me. And the guy wants to talk about trust. They lost my trust once they started walking over me and doing as they please. So I wrote rules down.

All they had to do since using my room was 3 simple rules that to me was common sense. Keep friend room clean since I’m using it, take his dog for potty breaks since he is at work, and leave his room at his desired time. The last one I didn’t make clear until later. But they werent even doing the most known rule of all time which was the first one. Which to me showed they probably either didn’t view me as a friend at all or didn’t give a shit about disrespecting a friend.

The rules I wrote down were-

Leave at 10. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

Keep my room clean. I should have put half ass isnt acceptable.

A new rule- On off days only smoke. No ps4 or tv. It was to not have me distracted on me researching stuff. And that whenever I decided I could play my games. And I put- if you cant do 1 tiny thing on list no tv or ps4. Yet I come home to find the tv gone, the harddrive that he gave me gone, their stuff gone, and the chair they put in my room gone. Which showed they were petty and not willing to go by my rules. And if I confront them about it they will either cover it up or I would figure out who was being entitled and everything would finally go back to when we first came up here with no walking over anyone.

I confronted the guy and he denied hard. He twisted stuff around as well as not giving a shit what kind of past I had. Which is the most stupidest thing I heard. Cause a persons past shows through peoples actions and how they view others. And explaining a persons past gives others ideas on how a person would react to anything. And that told me he did not view me as a friend and didnt have respect for me. Yet in the argument he was hurt when I said I didn’t trust him. I wanted to say- did you already forget what you guys did to me? I think we got to a stale mate and that he actually finally understood me and where I was coming from. Yet he said that me in the business is decided by his gf. In the argument he explained stuff of his gf on how she viewed me.

That I spend all my money on stupid stuff. At the time I agreed cause in the past I did so. But since moving to California I haven’t done no such thing. The only things my money went towards is food, my dogs food, my dogs toys, my dogs leash and harness, my glasses for looking at my phone and laptop, an avengers 22 ticket, $5 bag of clothes, notebooks, pens, calendar, and small white board. Only one thing on what I just listed was stupid. The avengers ticket. Yes it was a nice experience besides me needing a new tire, my cars engine crapping out and having to pay parking. I dont see what they mean by that. When I look at them money wise. I see them spending every last cent towards weed and stupid stuff. Like the gf complains on her feet. Yet doesnt get foot insoles but instead gets hair dye.

And the bf said that his gf was tired of working her ass off and seeing me blow my money and me complaining about rent. I look back now and think what? From what I listed, besides the avengers ticket, was me blowing money? All that stuff I bought was over a period of time. And most of my money was going towards bills that I had. And I’m using everything that was bought. So really anyone reading this tell me how was I blowing money? The only person blowing money is them. Cause if they conserve the weed they get to actually last more than an day they would have more money. And I truly mean that. From what I see them getting, it could last them at least a week or two. Yet it only lasts them for maybe 3 days. Cause they dont care about conserving it.

He also said that she was done of my drama. I think back now and think what? What drama? You mean me yelling at you guys for eating my shit? You mean me getting pissed off at you guys for not keeping my room clean and its mostly your stuff all around my room? You mean me getting pissed off that you wont get out of my room at my desired time? You mean me getting pissed off at you guys for not knowing basic manners?

Yes I did blow up over rent. That one was my bad cause if I realized sooner where my money was going which was fast food. I would have had money for rent for at least one of the months. And supposedly I didn’t pay rent for 3 months. The first month was understandable why I didn’t cause I was transfering to another dominos but the guy was transphobic so it didn’t work out. The second month was also understandable. Cause I was in the beginning looking for a job. My mother texted saying I’m probably not doing so and she did it for me. Applied to at least 20 jobs. So I thought oh great I will probably hear back. But I did not. The third month I just got a job and all my other bills mattered over rent. My car and phone bill. Cause I was a delivery driver. Having such things was a necessity. I told him once I get enough saved I will pay her back.

I’m just tired of being stepped on. It was obvious 100%. Yet it has been denied but apologized for. And he said he was going to come tell me if I’m in the business stil or not. But he hasnt even come tell me. Its been a week. What is there to decide? I hope things are finally now on neutral grounding. But now looking back and hearing the gf cry and sound frustrated outside makes me think she is still playing the victim. I dont know if its her pretending and its always been her or if its been the bf thats been stepping all over me and she knows and thats why she cried. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if it was both. Just tired of it all. They need to stop play pretend and wake up. I’m tired of using my past for them to understand where I’m coming from. It should be basic manners. I forget not everyone knows those.

#Rants

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