#my dad is a republican | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 8 months

Text

By Chauncey Devega

As I have previously explored in a series of conversations with cult and mind control expert Steven Hassan, Donald Trump meets most if not all the characteristics of a cult leader. Trump holds extreme power over his followers, who subsume their own identities and will to him. He persuades them to reject their own perceptions of reality and to trust only him and his approved messengers. To a large degree, they have lost the ability to engage in what psychologists describe as "reality testing."

Trump's mug shot, taken at the Fulton County jail in Atlanta last Thursday, is as an image of murderous rage and a bottomless lust for revenge. Trump has already used it to raise yet more campaign cash. In all probability, Trump's upcoming criminal trials will only make him more popular and powerful among his core followers, not less.

Like other cult movements, the MAGA phenomenon is rooted in manipulation and psychological abuse. Trump effectively exploits the death anxieties and other existential fears of his followers, presenting himself as their only protector and savior. The MAGA cult is authoritarian, preying on lonely, socially isolated and otherwise vulnerable people and providing them with a sense of order, meaning, community and destiny.

A poll conducted from Aug. 16 to 18 by CBS News/YouGov demonstrates just how firm Trump's power over his followers continues to be. A large majority of Republican voters view Trump as "honest and trustworthy," which would be hilarious if it were not deeply alarming. Furthermore, "Trump's voters hold him as a source of true information, even more so than other sources, including conservative media figures, religious leaders, and even their own friends and family." When asked who they believe tells them the truth, 71% of Trump voters picked him, more than picked friends and family members (63%), right-wing media commentators (56%) and religious leaders (only 42%).

Beyond the numbers, mental health expert Dr. Justin Frank, author of the bestseller "Trump on the Couch," perceives a tragic and pathetic human dimension to the CBS News poll, as he told me by email:

“What this poll doesn't measure or explain is the cause and effect of the profound loyalty of Trump's core supporters. It's this factor that continues to baffle pundits and call into question everything we thought we knew about American politics and the future of democracy. How did these startling figures come to be?

Trump taps into specific needs certain people have to love and to feel loved in return. People who feel they have been lied to — whether as children or adults — yearn for a person or group to trust, in which to place unwavering faith. While I think this type of blind loyalty to Trump is a delusion, it's also a common human experience. In some people it overwhelms an otherwise healthy emotional state in which most of us simultaneously understand that authority figures can be both admirable and disappointing. Televangelists are able to captivate and exploit their vulnerable audiences for this reason. It's also why cash (from many who can ill afford it) pours into Trump's coffers each time he's indicted for a new crime.

As I wrote in 'Trump on the Couch,' Donald Trump himself felt lied to by his parents, which binds him and his fan base even closer. Trump provides the kind of love they crave because he instinctively meets those unconscious needs, in part because he shares them unconsciously himself.”

Frank further suggests that Trump "invites maternal love" from many of his followers, who "are touched at a deep level by their awareness of his neediness, which endears them to him":

“In his rallies he repeats 'believe me' the way a child does when telling a lie or feeling unloved. He is quick to ... paint himself as a maligned victim. He becomes someone they want to protect from assault ... [by] sharing his sense of betrayal with his audience and psychologically merging with their own histories of having been disappointed. What evolves is an inability to differentiate oneself from the idolized other that results in an emotional bond that is deep and thrilling to share. To those outside the mystical Trump romance, this unconditional love makes no sense. We call that kind of love a cult. How can such an overt liar and accused criminal can be so admired?”

What we don't remember when we see such a cult in operation, Frank says, is that all children seek to protect "the image of their loved parents from the inevitable disbeliefs and hurts that even the best parents create":

“They do this by splitting their early experiences into good and bad, black and white. What evolves is a yearning for comfort, aided by binary thinking, from a figure who is only good, despite any evidence to the contrary.

So, here we are as a nation, confused and divided in the darkness of our deepest fears and needs. Trump offers his devoted flock a shared sense of purpose and meaning. They've been groomed to look outside for someone to safeguard their best interests and provide shared faith and support. I think it may not be possible for those diehard Trump adherents to discover that this a dangerous illusion.”

I also asked Jen Senko, director of the documentary "The Brainwashing of My Dad," about what insights she could share on the findings of the CBS News poll regarding Trump's hold over his followers. She said she found it "stupid, and maddening, that many on television 'news' seem shocked" by the poll's findings:

“Have they been living under a rock? More likely they've been living in denial because it's a lot easier than accepting the truth. ... Though many of us understand this now, too little emphasis has been put on how millions of Americans lost their minds and became right-wing zombies. It's the media, stupid! ... As someone who saw the writing on the wall decades ago and made a documentary about it in 2016, it's particularly frustrating. Too many people laughed at Rush Limbaugh. Too many people thought Fox News was a legitimate 'conservative' alternative to the 'liberal media.' Too many people didn't question the barrage of email propaganda (often put out by think tanks and disguised as homespun bits of wisdom) emphasizing over and over: Democrats bad, Democrats evil. Democrats not real Americans. Republicans are all that is good and holy.

Limbaugh was allowed to get on the Armed Forces Network. Fox News is still on it, and became the go-to news station for bus stations, airports, restaurants, bars, doctors' offices. When humans immerse themselves in false information that gets repeated, it stands to reason that millions of them become "cultified" right-wing zombies. What can be done about it, I leave to the experts. When will America acknowledge that we are in an information war? That's what worries me every day.”

Former right-wing pundit Rich Logis was immersed in TrumpWorld and the MAGA movement for years, but managed to escape. He said it was an "irrefutable fact" that MAGA had a cultlike ethos:

“I know this because I was once quite deep in the MAGA rabbit hole. Had Trump won in 2020, I probably would have gone deeper into it, with the odds of escaping close to zero.

There are two prevailing ties that bind the MAGA cult. The first is that Trump is an omniscient, omnipotent, martyred savior of America; some believe him to be sent by God. (Note that Ron DeSantis poached this heresy last year, in his re-election campaign.) Martyrdom is the final stage of cult leadership, and to those in a cult, it is the outside world who are deceived. Those in this first category are willing to see through the cult to its fiery end. The second is among those who are ... politically traumatized by their hyper-partisan, paralytic, paranoid worldview that Democrats, socialists, communists and Marxists have long conspired to tyrannically infringe upon their rights and freedoms. I knew some who fell into one, or both, categories.”

Logis suggests that Trump's voters should not be dehumanized "and had some valid motivations for supporting Trump, even though he exploited those concerns and fears":

“We must, as a nation, build a broad consensus that electing Trump was one of the most egregious mistakes in our history. Admitting when we're wrong is an unnatural act, but it is possible — and liberating. When I look back at my MAGA time, I remain stunned at the level of political trauma I put upon myself; my hope is that others will begin to recognize their own trauma, which has been, to some extent, self-inflicted.”

The only real hope for awakening or deprogramming MAGA cult members, Logis said, will come from "resounding losses of MAGA candidates next year, up and down the ballot. Though such losses will probably not 'save' most MAGA voters, it will, likely, save some — and 'some' equals millions of Americans."

Former Republican congressman Joe Walsh, now a leading never-Trumper conservative and democracy advocate, described the CBS News polls findings as "the least surprising thing ever." I conclude here with his words of warning:

“Three and a half years ago, while campaigning in Des Moines against Trump, I asked 40 people in line to enter a Trump rally if Donald Trump had ever told a lie. All 40 Trump supporters said no, Donald Trump had never told a lie. I knew then and there that my primary challenge against Trump was hopeless, but I also knew then and there that my soon-to-be-former political party was hopelessly gone too. I knew then and there what I'd sensed for the past six years: The Republican Party is a cult, an authoritarian-embracing, truth-denying cult. So what do we do about it? Well, we all come together in 2024 to defeat this anti-democracy cult. Again. That's job No. 1. But my other job is to continue to try to rescue members of the Trump cult. That's not a job for everyone, but as someone who helped create the cult and then escaped from the cult, it's my job. It's my penance.”

101 notes · View notes

pjharvey · 4 months

Text

i need to go back in time to christmas 2019 when i gave [redacted] carrie and lowell by sufjan stevens on vinyl and keep it for myself. guy didn’t even LIKE his parents despite having zero trauma with them and them being literally awesome and loving me. he tried to convince me my dad (who is great and i love him) was abusive for reasons i still can’t figure out. dude did not understand that album. i want to steal it back.

21 notes · View notes

ivycrowned · 8 months

Text

Shall I share with all of you the horrifying eldritch knowledge that blasted into my brain at mach 12? It's only eldritch for me specifically.

So I haven't been able to get on board the Halsin train. And I had no idea WHY. I like his character! I like his voice! But his face, for some reason. just kept throwing me off.

And then. After I triggered his romance scene. I fucking realized why. The horror.

HALSIN LOOKS LIKE MY DAD.

#before any of you come asking after my dad #trust me you don't want him #he's a conservative baptist republican idiot who voted form the cheeto #i've been no contact for years #bg3 #halsin #the NC i think is partially why it took me so long to figure out why #and like i mean #my dad doesnt have scars tattoo or hair

29 notes · View notes

sketchyracoon · 3 months

Text

So I was thinking about how Clark is basically a plant...

#my art #superman #clark kent #kal el #someone put on man of steel and i had a headache so i was paying like zero attention #but i saw two scenes the first was clarks strangely republican dad get himself killed for no reason #the second was he was like crushed on the ground from a like earth destroying laser (?) and just reached for the sunlight to get a lil juic #he said photosynthesis in my brain and everything

13 notes · View notes

solarpunkani · 4 months

Note

Hello! I'm a solarpunk kind of person by heart and it's exciting to connect with other folks online who appreciate this lifestyle, aesthetic, and philosophy. Do you do any "solarpunk" things in your real life? I have solar powered hot water heating panels on my roof and I grow organic vegetables, herbs, and fruit in my garden. I'd love to be more of a real life solarpunk though...

Hey!

Honestly I feel you, seeing what everyone's up to and all the conversations are real nice and inspiring! I won't pretend I've always been ~Solarpunk~ but its nice to find a community that aligns with me.

Regarding solarpunk in my irl life... a little ? Not as much as I would like (or as much as some might expect from my blog) but I've got a bit going on I suppose. I have a pollinator garden, and a worm bin for composting, and I grow some veggies every year--this year I actually ended up sharing a bunch with the neighbors this summer, which was nice! I'm learning how to sew and crochet, which I guess isn't explicitly solarpunk but it feels solarpunky to me. Asides from that, though... I don't have much else going on. I still live with my parents, so any ~solarpunk~ stuff I'd wanna do mostly needs their approval (I'm an adult but I still live under their roof kinda vibe). Also I tend to be a bit too nervous to leap into things like protests or writing to the newspaper or joining irl communities or taking on crafts like soldering or building (though I have made 2 raised garden beds out of wood).

I'm hoping to change that in the upcoming year though, slowly but surely. And until then, I just try to share nuggets of solarpunk ideologies with people when the opportunity arises. (For example, I introduced the concept of visible mending to the teacher of a sewing class my mom and I took).

It'll come with time, as long as we keep striving for it! I'm rooting for you!

#answered asks #katiajewelbox #out of queue #ani rambles #i explained solarpunk to my dad a handful of times and he seems to think its cool #i think he forgot though. and i forgot how to smoothly explain it. and also he's republican soooooo yknow #my dad's chill with the solar and some of the punk. my mom is mostly neutral leaning positive on the solar but hates the punk #i lowkey wanna learn beekeeping but theres no way they'd let me keep bees. and even if they did the hoa probs wouldnt #but it'll come with time. im sure of it.

10 notes · View notes

compacflt · 10 months

Note

I love your interpretation of Mav and Ice. I love how realistic they both feel because well, they're white men in the Navy starting in the 80s. What it does make me wonder about Carole? I know you don't write for her but your analysis of Top Gun itself just made me wonder about her. Like whether she was a traditional military wife or just kinda met Goose and fell into it. Did Goose's death and the period between his death and her's change anything? Did it make her more skeptical of the military because of the cause of Goose's death or was her asking Mav to not let Bradley fly purely out of her hurt for Goose's death and not a moral/political thing also. PS. I read your Slider fic and absolutely adored it

well… i think any attempt to flesh out Carole’s character is gonna be completely based on conjecture, because we’re not given more than “slightly naive Christian woman who doesn’t always say exactly the right thing.”

But I think it’s helpful to remember where she fits into the narrative at large, and why: Carole Bradshaw is the villain of the Top Gun franchise. Top Gun is her villain origin story.

The rhetorical purpose of the top gun franchise is: to make money, obv, AND to get people to join the navy. (to what extent it’s successful at achieving that latter goal is the topic of a different post… im certainly not the first to say it’s pretty easy to find an antimilitary reading of TG.) but if top gun is aiming to portray the navy as someplace you want to be, and someplace where you have to earn a spot to be (as I keep repeating over the last couple weeks, it’s all about honor), then Carole Bradshaw becomes the villain of the recruiting story of Top Gun: Maverick, because she (momentarily) prevented her son from joining the navy with the honor he thought he deserved, and she is to blame for the emotional through line of the entire movie. Thank God! we don’t have to blame maverick for fucking up and preventing Bradley from achieving his Dream Of Working As A US Military Contractor! we can blame his dead mom instead, so that maverick is still a good guy whom we, a moderately-conservative pro-navy target audience (🤑), can still root for & pay money to see.

so yeah narratively speaking she’s just a scapegoat. She has no agency in the story whatsoever, she’s only an object to receive blame. any backstory/reasoning/character we invent for her doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t really matter WHY she does it—whether she hates the military or not, narratively speaking we have to blame her just the same either way—it just matters that she does it. and then she has to immediately die so she can’t explain herself and maverick has to self-sacrificially take the blame. Because otherwise the plot of TGM wouldn’t happen, which would not achieve the rhetorical goals of making a bunch of money and getting kids to sign up for the navy.

#always a treat to remember that the target audience of tgm is republican dads of teenage boys #i only watched top gun bc i (teenager) was forced to by my formerly republican dad #i saw ur Carole post & i actually think she was fridged.#in case you couldn’t tell i am a little pissed about it.#very rarely are side characters just characters. everyone (paramount pictures and me included) has an axe to grind.#thanks for the ask glad you liked slider! It’s my favorite thing I’ve written for the fandom so im glad #top gun maverick #top gun #carole bradshaw #asks #pete maverick mitchell #* pissed about the fridging not about your post. i liked your post #she is killed not to strengthen the emotional throughline of the story but #solely to further TGM’s pro-navy pro-recruitment agenda and absolve the male MC of guilt.#that is the purpose of her death & her character at large in the franchise #sooooooo imo it doesn’t really matter what her outlook is/was #she’s the villain #and also part of joining the navy/having family members in the AFUSA is accepting the risk. esp if ur husband is an aviator there is so #much risk involved independent of enemies etc. people die flying all the fuckin time. she would’ve had to accept that #the fact that she doesn’t accept that is what makes her an anti patriotic villain etc etc #and remember she TOLD maverick GOOSE would’ve accepted the risk ‘he would’ve flown anyway’#again she is incredibly out of character in TGM (as is Mav) re: papers pulling & its all to serve this rhetorical goal

30 notes · View notes

sage-nebula · 4 months

Text

I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).

Read my words very carefully.

In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.

However, in real life?

First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.

But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.

So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.

However.

The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.

Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.

I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.

So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.

You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.

Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.

Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.

Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.

When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.

Keep yourselves safe in 2024.

#not an abuse scenario but: my mom died of covid-19 #it's relevant to this discussion bc she was a trump-supporting republican who refused to get vaccinated #bc the far-right propaganda shows she watched told her the vaccine ''wasn't a real vaccine''#and i know this bc when i literally BEGGED MY PARENTS to get the vaccine my mother LAUGHED IN MY FACE and TOLD ME ''it's not a real vaccine #so anyway both my parents got it. my father almost died from it #my mom seemed like she was doing much better . . . except she CONTINUED to smoke heavily while both having covid #and recovering from covid #and once again i said hey don't you think you should not smoke cigarettes while recovering from a serious respiratory disease #and once again she laughed at me #anyway 2 months later her heart gave out in her sleep and she died #bc her body couldn't handle the stress of the cigarettes + alcohol (she was also an alcoholic) after covid had done its thing to her #she was only 56yo #so this was a case where i wanted to fix my mother. i tried so hard. and i've similarly tried to fix my father (who is still alive)#but i can't! my dad almost died and my mom DID die and my dad STILL won't get the vaccine #I HAVE BEGGED THIS MAN. WHO IS NOW 73. TO GET VACCINATED. AND HE STILL WILL NOT.#you can't fix people!!! you can't!!! you can offer them support if they want to fix themselves #you can help them fix themselves but you can't fix them. you just can't. no matter how much you love them #and in abuse cases it can be really fucking dangerous to keep trying.#anyway. that's my TED talk. thanks for attending or w/e it is they say

8 notes · View notes