#my only contribution to radblr

[mala-santa-radfem]

#my only contribution to radblr #also happy valentines day ladies <33 #memes i made

[a-room-of-my-own]

I have no idea whether it's accurate or just nostalgia but I feel like radblr has decreased in discourse quality over the years. When I first joined Tumblr around 2016-17 I remember that I was hooked by the thoroughness of the posts, they were uncompromising, thoughtful and sourced.

Atm my impression is that it's mainly rants, shitposting and TRA receipts, which is fine and already existed, but that the actual thinkpieces are gone. If it were a newspaper it'd be like they kept the editorials and comics but got rid of the feature articles. At some point the umpteenth "Moids will really do x while[...]" gets old. You've been here for some time, what's your impression ?

Same 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think many people were not necessarily prepared for transactivism to last a decade, and for a while fighting against it - even at a very small scale like a simple blog - felt like being Don Quixote fighting against windmills. It's only now that the tide is beginning to turn, and it's not exactly a tsunami yet. When something unfair or shocking becomes a part of daily life it's hard to keep the energy you had in the beginning when you thought it was still possible to overturn it before it became too bad.

And to be honest, there were some things I anticipated years ago that were in my mind worst case scenarios, like rapists in women's prisons, sterilized minors, etc... That became reality. I observe all that remotely of course, there is a distance that comes with just being an anonymous blogger and not an activist, but still that gets to me. Sharing receipts and press articles is a way to keep contributing to the discussion, but when the worst became a part of daily life sometimes you just don't know what else to say except I told you so.

I think a lot of women who used to post long, sourced think pieces just took a step back when they observed that, same way I did. Specifically on Tumblr, I think there is also a problem with a certain side of radblr who's not exactly into feminism, but rather into bullying. They're a vocal minority but it's enough to discourage discussions. Writing a long post takes time and hard work, I'm not sure someone coming here today would feel like her ideas would be welcomed and politely discussed the way they could be a few years ago.

#gender critical #feminism #transgender #transactivism

[nobleelfwarrior]

I just spent an hour untangling some Radblr drama, so we're talking about anger again.

My credentials: I have no male friends because all of theme got into arguments with me where they thought I was over reacting, hysterical, or mean. Every time I spent about a week or more wracking my brain to find something I did wrong and found nothing.

So, you're feeling heated about something someone said on Tumblr. You feel like you've been wronged or that the person was stupid or cruel. What do you do?

Step 1: Take a deep breath. Nothing productive happens when you are reactionary. You want to act, not react.

Step 2: Did you read this in the kindest possible way? Was it still mean? If yes, then yes, you are right to be upset. If no, perhaps approaching this post/poster in a more generous light will lead to more understanding. Assume they had good intentions and ask questions to clarify what they meant.

Step 3: So they were being mean and you didn't find common ground. You can either choose to engage or disengage with the conversation. If you think you are going to loose your cool and do something you regret, disengage. You don't have to engage with online discourse that makes you uncomfortable. Just log off.

You chose to engage. Let's cover a few things NOT to do.

no slurs. None. Not even if you think they're justified. Slurs are never ever ever ok.

avoid sarcasm. we're online and it can be hard to pick up and it isn't productive.

act like something should be obvious. We're all at different levels here. Some of us don't speak English as a first language. Some of us are new to our sexualities or feminism. It might be obvious to you, but it isn't obvious to others.

You should explain clearly and calmly what you mean. That isn't to say you should never get heated or passionate, but if that passion overwhelms your ability to communicate your point, you need to take a step back. Spite is fun in memes and harmful in discussion.

You should treat questions as attempts to engage, not bad faith. There are obvious exceptions, but, again, being online, it is hard to show genuine confusion/curiosity, especially in heated situations where you might assume hostility.

You should know your audience. There comes a point where you know whether the person you're talking to is the person you are communicating with or if the standers-by are the people you are communicating with. Knowing the person you are debating with is not the person who needs to hear it can help you make better choices.

When to bow out: If at any time you want to let your anger take over, it's time to step out. You've made your points and going further with this person is only going to hurt you more. For me, going in circles with the conversation is what makes me livid, so I know that's where to call it. When you leave, it can be helpful to give a call to action like "do the research for yourself and see what I said is true" or "check out what x person had to say about it if you don't trust me".

Why is this important

There's been a lot of talk about infighting recently. Bad faith readings of what others had to say contributed to a lot of that. When someone says "I meant x", they probably did. Not everyone here is a perfect writer. We don't have editors or beta readers or anyone to tell us that something was unclear or misleading until we post the thing.

Radical Feminism is about women's liberation. Each of us likely have multiple axis of oppression, but we share female. Racism, ablism, and homophobia cannot be tolerated and need to be called out. Men will band together despite their prejudices to demean women and we need to make sure we don't alienate our sisters with slurs so that we can fight back. It doesn't sound fair, but life isn't fair and that's why we need radical feminism, female communities, and to work together.

If someone calls out your bad behavior, carefully consider the criticism. Don't react. Act. I've had to adjust my behavior several times because women I respect and follow made posts, not about me personally, but that did apply to me and I thought carefully and adjusted my behavior.

And you do have a right to prioritize different women in your life, but the moment you exclude any group of women from your liberation efforts, you aren't feminist. Again, prioritize is ok, exclusion is bad. I'm personally prioritizing women in my community because that's all I can handle with my mental health. Even though my efforts aren't focused on women in other countries, I'm not going to make them feel like I don't care about them. Does that make sense? I'm not going to post about how they're dumb for this or that. I'm not going to say they can fend for themselves or that I don't share sisterhood with them. My efforts can only reach so far, by they are my allies. I hope that makes sense.

I get why you're mad.

I really do. Lesbians have faced homophobia from OSA women in Radblr and that is hurtful and frustrating. SSA women are sometimes insensitive or even cruel to straight women (not the same as systematic oppression, but still unproductive and hurtful). The black, indigenous, and brown women on Radblr have faced racism. Women will use ableist slurs and not see that it is completely unacceptable, even if the woman you are arguing with seems bigoted to you. We see a lot of people who claim to be radfem but seem more just gender critical, which muddies things. We see women on here who insist that their man is different. It is all very frustrating.

But it comes back to the post I made about venting. If your discussion with self ided radfems becomes a back and forth vent, that's not productive. Taking actual action is productive. Calling out ableism, homophobia, and racism is productive. Asking for clarification on what seem like incendiary posts is productive. Discussing difference of opinion in respectful ways is productive.

The whole point of radblr is to have a community so we can be productive. We need to put more effort into getting along. It seems unfair, but that's what we have to do in order to make progress.

Quick obligatory disclaimer that there are limits to trying to get along. There is a point where just blocking and moving on is fine. I think we all know this.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

#me myself and i #radfem #radical feminism #feminism is a movement #take action #venting #anger

[positive-radfem-confessions]

okay, i'm asking this as a disabled woman who has trouble leaving my house and spends most of my time at home. i hear ppl on radblr about how we shouldn't call ourselves radical feminists if we aren't actually out there helping women. they say that just doing things online such as raising awareness isn't really feminist. so my question is, how is somebody like me supposed to contribute to radical feminism in a meaningful way?

Hi nonnie, this is not a blog where I the admin respond to questions or post questions at all unless they regard the blog itself. This question though compelled me to tell you there are many disabled radical feminists on radblr, who I'm sure can reassure you that there's many ways to be a feminist and do feminist actions that don't require you to be outside protesting or things like that. You can donate to female organizations, consume and support female media and literature, you could join or start a female only club of some sort that you would only have to attend occasionally and that could be easier on you to partake in. There's lots of things!

If any other radfems, especially any with disabilities, want to chime in for this person, please be my guest.

#but again a reminder I really will ignore random questions this is not the blog to ask I'm afraid it defeats the theme #there are lots of wonderful radfems who would be happy to answer #this isn't necessarily a radfem anonymous ask account and if I give my opinions out freely it just turns into a second radfem blog #and the goal is that this blog stays quite simple as a positive confessions blog so everyone feels its a safe space #but you're definitely not restricted in what you can do for feminism anon! -bee

[female-eren]

radblr community vibes are absolutely RANCID at the moment. there’s another stupid and divisive debate going around rn that just reminds me of your very reasonable posts on separatism and realistic goals to include women who don’t choose it. It’s like these women want to purposely exclude and alienate other women from the movement. like no wonder there’s so many ex-rads when so many here are so condescending and judgemental….

Yeah, and I think it's because radblr is a hyper niche online community full of parasocial relationships yet very little real-world reach. Many women on here, myself included, don't do a lot of activism in real life, don't meet a lot of women from different backgrounds and with different political opinions. I really want to be mindful of that.

As an example: You look at any large scale feminist campaign, like the #traffickinghub one with Laila Mickelwait at the forefront, and it will choose one good message as a strong base. "Pornography cannot contain child sexual abuse nor nonconsensual content, and if porn producers are incapable of regulating content enough then they must be taken down". Sure, the radblr thing to say is "all porn is abusive and even fully consensual content, if that is even possible at all, contributes to the dehumanization of women and so the fight against ONLY child porn and direct rape videos is misguided" but with that you risk getting so caught up in policing the campaign and its supporters that, perhaps, you actually get way less done than if you'd gone with the first message. It's very, very difficult to attack "consensual" pornography legally. We on radblr can discuss the cruelty and degradation of having pornography be "free speech", but the reality is that categorizing pornography in a way to exclude it from free speech has proven to be difficult. (I want to write my bachelor's thesis on the possibility to achieve this). And Laila Mickelwait knows this. But, by proving that PornHub and others actively profit off rape and child porn, because the entire industry is based on dehumanization and those two are just the most pressing consequences of this, she can achieve the goal of getting as much porn as possible off the web. She can put those CEOs in prison. By focusing her energy.

I'm absolutely astonished at the take I've seen, that the action of critically, vigilantly, carefully engaging with men (keeping high standards and always having a support network as well as passions and goals outside the sphere of the relationship) is not only centering men but actively antifeminist. It's surreal to me.

[menalez]

With regards to that post where the notes are “it’s 1000x hotter when she’s only attracted to other women” etc, I fully support and understand that people feel that way! When I say it’s hotter for me when other women are also attracted to men though (because I feel I can relate to them much more, and I know she won’t bully me for having dated men in the past lol) I get called lesbophobic and told I’m contributing to people thinking it’s better for all women to be attracted to men in some capacity, and that lesbians are being pushed into fucking men because of people like me (?????). Radblr wtf. Like it feels like I’m just not supposed to say it out loud.

Like I’ll date a lesbian no problem but I prefer other bi women, and I’ve been told that I’m still “centering men” in my sexuality for this reason. Even though we’re explicitly talking about dating women???? And I just like having a partner who isn’t disgusted by an inherent part of my sexuality???? How tf is dating another woman anything to do with men, regardless of who she’s attracted to??

i would say saying it’s hotter when women are attracted to men probably just sounds off bc that’s like. 99% of women or sth. ur basically just saying “it’s hot if a woman isn’t a lesbian”. u could just say “it’s hotter when she’s attracted to both sexes” which at least makes it clearer that u prefer bi women rather than cantering the whole liking men part?

you’re allowed to openly state that ur bi4bi and prefer dating bi women tho. there’s nothing wrong with that, as u said u can relate more and think she’d be more understanding towards u which is fine. i never met any lesbians that bully their gfs for having dated men tho.

idk who called that catering to men. whoever said that to u is weird. or maybe it’s in the case of u literally saying “it’s hotter when women are attracted to men” ?

[limeade-l3sbian]

When my last blog got termed, I didn't have nearly as much interaction or half as many mutuals as I do now. And I don't say that like, "Oh, now I have SO many followers". Because I honestly still don't lol. But I was just wondering what was so different from that blog and this one.

And the answer was that on the last one, I wasn't really contributing. Mostly reblogging and sort of commenting the equivalent of "yeah!". And to be clear, there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. If you enjoy just reblogging opinions from women who know more or have more experience and you just like to be in the room when the conversation is going down, then do you, girl. I'm not knocking that at all. But I wanted to become more invested in the conversations but didn't feel like I had anything new to add.

Which is FINE.

Much as you can criticize something, sometimes you still can't help but be a victim to it. And that individualistic movement that has the West in a chokehold still had me in one too. I thought if I couldn't offer BRAND NEW ideas to radblr, I just shouldn't say anything. And that's wrong in two ways.

One, there's nothing wrong with saying something that's already been said. You think I'm the first person to suggest that black women don't need to conform? Lol. Far from it. But sometimes you say it in a way that reads more deeply to someone than they might have read prior.

Which leads to my second point, you fit into some type of demographic. We all do. So you already have a perspective that a great other handful of us lack. Maybe you're from an underrepresented country. Maybe you come from a misunderstood culture. Or you know what? Maybe your name is Becky and you live in Los Angeles in a nice house with both parents or go to a fancy college. You're still a woman, and I guarantee you that you have some kind of perspective to offer. You think you'll say something "wrong"?. That you'll get backlash? Unless you're being a complete, absolute dumbass, 90% of these women will just respond with a different perspective.

We're here to converse, not fight. Listening/Comprehension is your greatest strength. If you don't feel confident yet, make sure you're extending your knowledge beyond this format. If you need help on where to start, just ask. And I want to stress READING above just watching things.

So to emphasize, you don't have to contribute. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just sit and listen, chin on fist. But if you want to jump in the mix, I only ask that you not be afraid to learn, listen, and speak even when you think no one will care.

#radfems do touch #radfem safe #radfems please interact #lesbian radfems #lesbian radfem

[butch-reidentified]

1/3 Not trying to start anything but the way you talk about mastectomy genuinely doesn’t sit right with me. At the end of the day it’s still a cosmetic surgery and your case where it went on without complications and actually improved your health are in the vast vast minority. It’s a massive risk and no amount of being informed about it could protect people from doctor’s mistakes whose main motivation is getting paid rather than actually caring for their patient’s health.

2/3 Besides, no matter what the reason you might be getting a mast in the current time is (chasing a certain look, removing unpleasant sensations or “gaining an extra level of unfuckable”), the industry as a whole has an agenda. The same doctor who performed your “good” top surgery went on to perform dozens of “bad” ones without second thought. I don’t think this should be financially supported at least not until the whole trans fad blows over.

3/3 Your good personal experience doesn’t erase the fact that the procedure is still incredibly dangerous and the community around it is incredibly predatory, same as it is with all cosmetic surgery. Be as proud of it as you like but your words boil down to “I did it for myself”, they’re as easy to dismiss when said in regards to make-up as they are in regards to mastectomy. (I hope I didn’t come off as too aggressive, this is a very sensitive topic for me. Take care)

Hey! No need to add the disclaimer, I totally understand and agree with you. My post is for radblr only; it should never reach anyone who would be vulnerable. My intention was to share my experience for other detrans women who might feel the same, as I've noticed a number of us feel like we're expected to feel - or at least express - shame and regret about it. I completely agree with you on most of this, but I get the feeling you're assuming that what I wrote here for radblr is something I'd say in other spaces, which is not usually the case. I wouldn't & don't encourage getting this surgery, but I will take a harm reduction approach and try to encourage those considering it to go through the steps I went through first (honestly I think most who did all of that would likely not proceed afterward). Nothing about this post is to encourage anything or to say I'm proud of it. I'm just not ashamed of it and won't pretend to be, which in some rf spaces has felt expected of me.

The one thing I do take issue with is comparing it to makeup. I just find that to be a false equivalence in multiple ways. Obviously surgery is permanent whereas makeup can be stopped at any time. But also, we are pressured to wear makeup from early childhood by everyone on all sides, where transition is pushed by a specific group, onto some girls/women, usually as teenagers. Even then, with how strong the "you don't need to transition to be valid" rhetoric has gotten, I don't think the pressure is comparable to makeup, though I haven't been near those spaces in a few years so things may be different now, idk.

My point wasn't "I did this for myself," but rather more complex than that: "It's not realistic to try to get rid of this surgery entirely, but harm reduction can help, and the potential causes of sex dysphoria may include more than many people realize." In my case, there were a couple of medical elements (cysts, neurological disorder) which likely contributed to the positive impact it had for me. I believe the neurological issues to be at the root of my dysphoria, or at least a major contributor, given my experiences described in that post.

These are possible areas for study moving forward, things that could help us understand intractable sex dysphoria and ultimately protect young people from a predatory industry by tightening up diagnostic criteria drastically.

#mine #ask #i literally just woke up #hope this is coherent lmao

[thelovew1tch]

Hey, I silently check up on discourse every now and then and noticed you left the terf pipeline + I’m super proud to see that. I didn’t know you but I’d seen your blog pop up every now and then in other places so I was already familiar with your url and was surprised. May I ask, what motivated you to leave, and what are you doing in terms of making up for that time? Are you reading new theory? Are you engaging in lgbt spaces in real life and learning from your peers? I’d be curious to know.

hey hey hey!! thank you soooo much and i’m so happy you reached out and asked! :) a lot of factors contributed to my departure from radblr. as cliche as it may sound, i realized how badly i’d been sucked down the pipeline while i was in therapy one day. i told my therapist about my beliefs and just hearing it out loud made me realize how ridiculous and backwards i sounded! it made me realize how much hate i had internalized and unintentionally reproduced. this was only a couple months ago. i have done a ton of things since to educate myself better and make it up to those who i have impacted. i watched a bunch of awesome content creators on tik tok and youtube like contrapoints who debunked a lot of terf arguments and just really exposed to me what real people are like. i also dealt with a lot of my SA trauma in therapy, which is what i think led me down the misandry radfem rabbit hole in the first place. i’ve talked to real transgender people, built good relationships with them, and have forgiven myself while also realizing that i was very wrong. i stopped reading radical feminist theory, but now i am learning a lot more about queer movements and it’s super fulfilling and exciting. lastly, i recently entered a relationship with my girlfriend, who is a trans woman, and she has taught me so much about her experience as a woman and as a member of the trans community. it really helped me to interact with real people rather than suck up the myths and false realities from the narratives spread by TERFs. it’s made me realize we really are no different- trans and cis women are victims of the same institutions of oppression, and we must stick together and support each other in the fight for all of our liberation. i’m learning more about marxist feminism too. also, i recently did a paper and presentation for my lgbtq movements class on terf narratives and it was an awesome chance for me to mentally “redeem myself” and use what i’ve learned personally to teach others. ❤️

#former terf #former radfem #queer #lesbian #anti terf

[kiefbowl]

Do you not consider yourself a radfem?

Well, no and yes. I’ve talked about this before over the years I’ve been on tumblr active in radblr, which has been a long time now, but it’s fair maybe not everyone has seen it one way or the other.

There’s being a radical feminist, and then there’s this interesting new phenomenon of being a radfem and I think it’s pretty fascinating but maybe not well understood yet, by anyone.

I don’t really consider myself a radical feminist only because I feel I haven’t earned that yet. I don’t feel active in my real life enough, I don’t feel learned enough, I think it should be a weighty decision to describe yourself as belonging to a particular political identity or ideology.

I think if you call yourself something you should be able to walk the walk and talk the talk, and maybe I could do a pretty good job with non-radical feminists, but I think there’s more for me to learn and inspect, and other theories that align that I’m also interested in and don’t feel as knowledgeable in either to actual claim it, like Marxism for example. Self study takes a lot of work and self discipline, and some part of yourself can’t just be regurgitation, you have to also be able to contribute in some way.

So part 2 of this answer is I do contribute in a way to this online space of radfem-ism, and it’s a funny thing to contribute to. You don’t really have a way to accurately measure your impact, and a few viral posts doesn’t mean much when you consider anything can go viral these days and do, it’s not that hard. But not everyone does it, and I have in some ways. It’s just a really strange phenomenon, it’s impacted me in weird ways. It’s like being a known nobody where you know internet strangers know you by “name” (url) and care about you, but you don’t know how many and some of those people are, to put it gently, odd. When I get anons that are like “I love you so much I wish I knew you in real life” is it possible it’s just the same person sending it over and over? I can’t really ever know.

But yeah, I have some posts that take off, usually in the hundreds and thousands, I have handful where it’s even more. Some of those handful are not “radical feminist” posts, they are just jokes. Jokes about whatever. But the vast majority of my posts are not viral, and I don’t want them to be. Because this blog is NOT a “radfem” blog, it’s just my blog. I’m just being me. I’m just a grown woman, so I post feminist ideas. I’m interested in radical feminism! Plus I’m following a lot of like minded women, and they’re posting feminist ideas, and so it makes it a more frequent topic. So, I’m participating, in a real (though virtual) space, where women are talking about (radical) feminist ideas, and I have contributed my own thoughts (though less lately) and have helped posts of other women get seen. Is this enough to be a radical feminist? Especially when - what exactly is radblr? who’s a part of it? what are their intentions? can you join or do you just get lucky being noticed? are there pockets of radfems that are intersecting? what causes women to become radfems online? are they peaking on trans discourse and become gender critical? is that enough? is radfem just internet short hand for “women who says anything politically feminist” whether it’s specifically radical feminism? do people who decidedly aren’t radfems have a concept of radical feminists to clearly identify radical feminist theory? I mean, there’s a lot to unpack about what the hell even is “radblr”…but I can’t deny I’m here and contributing.

So tldr: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[spookyradluka]

Sometimes I go through tags and start following a bunch of new radblr blogs

I followed 22 blogs yesterday and now I am being recommended pro/ana blogs

I hope whoever has those side blogs in this community is able to get help. Running those blogs not only feeds into your own disorder, but it also encourages other people. These are public blogs on a site full of teenagers

Please stop contributing the the romanticization of eating disorders. I am currently in recovery and my inbox is open, other people venting to me is not a trigger for me

Ed blogs DNI please

#radfem #radical feminism #radblr #radical feminist community #radical feminists please interact #terf #terf friendly #terf safe #terfs please interact #radfem safe

[gender-critical-analytical]

you have no reason to try to be slick in my hashtags and why even reblog a post you clearly don’t agree with weirdo? she said what she said. women who are het paired and consider themselves feminist are quite literally the weakest link. they aren’t fighting for female liberation they are fighting to reform their boyfriends. stop acting like heterosexuality is under attack.

I do agree with the post, and the blog I rbed from added with her own tags, 'as long as it's a feminist critique', which I agreed with. Quite frankly, women who spend their time online deciding to call other women 'the weakest link' aren't too far from it themselves. All I see on her blog is her insulting women and name calling under the guise of activism, which I don't really think is fighting for female liberation either. I don't think heterosexuality is under attack, but I think a lot of people on radblr lack the ability to actually respect their fellow women the way they seem to think they do. If there's a woman who consistently brings up her boyfriend on radblr and allows that relationship to get in the way of discussion, then that's an issue, but random, unprompted cattiness towards women you feel superior towards is going to start conflict every time, and I'm sick of the same people who think het and bi women are pathetic or weak acting like they're doing so much for women as a class. You run a political blog, you haven't been dragging these women from the debris of wrecked buildings, only for them to slap you in the face and get carried off into the sunset by some man.

Het and bi women are always going to be some way involved in this community, and there are always going to be those of them who still choose to take the risk and date men. I already know I'm going to get people saying that that statement apparently means 'she thinks women NEED men to be fulfilled and happy!!1!' But that isn't what I think, nor is it what I've said. Some women want relationships with men, especially het women, in particular. Dating men certainly isn't a feminist action, but let's not pretend that it wipes away their entire ability to think critically and to care about women's liberation as a whole. Let's not act like we don't live in a society that has put constant emphasis on romantic relationships, and let's not pretend that romantic love and sex aren't things that are naturally desired for het women, and just about all women, for that matter. I agree that a huge part of contributing to any ideology you believe in is putting your money where your mouth is, and I think a lot of women in this community have come a long way from where they started, stopping the use of makeup and shaving, or consumption of pornography. But I really do think that expecting women to live their whole lives under a rule of celibacy is a lot to ask, and I don't think choosing not to do so is enough to counteract what they have to offer to radical feminism and other women. I fully believe that women can form meaningful and fulfilling relationships with other women, we can connect with one another on levels that men can never compare to, and sex isn't a need, these are all obvious truths. But none of us are pure, here. Every one of us has struggled against the patriarchy in some ways or another, and some of us still do. Some women on radblr still wear makeup, don't they? Some of us still shave, a lot of us still struggle with viewing ourselves in a voyeuristic lens, and some of us still have sexual and romantic desire for men, and none of those things ruin us or make us better or worse or dumber or smarter than one another. We're all able to empathize with other women in a broad sense, but so many of us can't seem to do it when it's one on one.

We can't respect eachother enough to not pick one another apart and divide ourselves into little groups and cliques. Whether you like it or not, we're here to advocate for one another. When those 'weak, pathetic' het women are harmed by their boyfriends or husbands, you're supposedly supposed to be someone safe to turn to. We all are, so for fucks sake, let's just bring back those posts for planning meet ups and actually figure out a way to do something for ourselves and other women, instead of playing silly little games of 'I'm better than you' on the internet. There's no fucking purity here, and that's the whole point. Sort out your damn issues instead of dictating which women are valuable and which aren't based on who they're fucking, thanks, because we all have something important to add to the discussion.

#sorry if I repeated anything #It's like 1 am and I'm tired #and again y'know #I GET IT #I've seen het and bi women on here bring their bfs into things and getting in the way of critical discussion #that's an issue #but y'all are so fucking stupid if you think sending eachother gossipy little messages all the time is going to solve anything #how long have we all been here to watch the same thing go down every time? #When has the issue ever been actually solved? #it hasn't #because heterosexuality and bisexuality can't be SOLVED #you can't 'fix' it and you can't change it #and just because you think another woman has nothing to offer because she has a sex drive and doesn't want to be celibate her whole life #doesn't make her input any less valuable #you want women to have the option to live on women's land but then you show them that this is how they're gonna be treated if they do

[femenaces]

my most significant contribution to radblr in my opinion is the meme of mulder from the X files holding up his ID only it’s photoshopped to say “yea but you laughed didn’t you” that people sometimes use to respond to “op is a terf” comments

[floatingbook]

An update (where this is going)

- (17/11/2020)

This adventure started on the second of July 2019 —already almost a whole year and a half — with a post about buzzcut women. I had been lurking on here (here meaning ‘radblr’, and ‘lesblr’ if such a thing even exist) for almost a year when I made this blog. Because I wanted to be part of the conversation; I had and still have a lot of things to say and share. But.

But mainly two things. I have left my scientific studies for vocational training in pottery, a subject and a world I was quite unfamiliar with. This means that I am exhausted at the end of the day — this training is quite physical — and that I have a lot of culture to cultivate around ceramics outside of working hours — so less free time than when I was doing engineering. The other point is, I am wondering about the posts I curate for this place. The pieces I did not author that I share here I share because they needled me to rethink a belief I held, they opened my eyes on some assumptions I held, they gave me a perspective on a subject I was unfamiliar with. I am grateful to be able to find so many posts written by sharp and brilliant women, that keep me on my toes. However, we all mostly follow each other, and as the post that goes something like “which seven posts are we all reblogging today ladies?” underlines, a lot of the same information keeps being repeated. I trust that if you’re reading this, you have someone on your dash that will keep you informed of the latest misogyny in the United States or in Egypt, and what despicable men have done in Poland or in Brazil; you don’t need me to echo that. I’m not keeping my head in the sand, but I don’t think it helps for us to see ten times the same manifestation of hatred towards us every day, multiplied by the number of daily occurrences of misogyny. At that point it’s overkill; spirit-destroying instead of anger-rousing.

Right now, the queue on this blog is scheduled to run until November 29th. I won’t post anything on the next day. Starting on the first of December, I’ll focus on posting original pieces — I’ll aim at three a week, so as not to make this a chore — and only reblogging one or two thought-provoking pieces a day, as well as a selected piece of art by a woman. I don’t want to contribute to the meaninglessness of what we are saying by heaping content on you. I want you to connect with and reflect on what I have to offer here. I’ll continue with the exploration lists (every Wednesday) and I still have plenty of habit shifts to share with you. And I’m always glad to answers questions, be they anonymous or not. Basically, I’m going to take up less space on you dash, but I want to take up more space in your minds — I want you to come here and think (because I have great expectations for you, ladies).

As I will no longer be reblogging my favorites willy-nilly, please check out @balkanradfem (I often want to reblog everything she posts), @owl-and-the-moon (who has the perfect blend of art talk, cat shenanigans, and brilliant takes on her experiences as a lesbian), @nakimushiga-ru (she knows what’s up), @womansart (for the art by women; if you’re not following it yet then you’re missing out) and @vladscastle (go there for the reading resources, stay for the cats).

#personal #an update #where this is going #throwing pots is so much fun but i'm exhausted #i also want to write more #more incentive to do that if i have to give you ladies content

[femily-thiccinson]

This is going to be long, but there’s something I want to talk about. 

First of all, I am a straight women, I just turned 35, and until very recently, I had been a sex addict for as long as I have been having sex, ie, my entire adult life. And in fairness, I still AM a sex addict, but I consider myself to be in recovery now, as I very consciously resist my compulsions and am working towards healing. It is very hard though - all the same anxieties, insecurities, desires, and fears that drove my sex addiction continue to disturb me; I have received virtually no therapy for this condition specifically, and I know I desperately need it, but I have no job right now becuz global pandemic, and I have no medical insurance (yea ‘murica). I also have a lot of anxiety surrounding simply making an appointment, and trying to find a decent therapist, and certainly I have anxiety about all the things I have to talk about but truly wish I could just forget and never have to speak about again. I also have bipolar, which has exacerbated the sex addiction, and in turn, the sex addiction has worsened the bipolar. 

As a radfem, I am absolutely opposed to the sex industry, including porn of course, but with my sex addiction I also had a serious porn addiction that I still struggle with. I’ve really only been calling myself a “radical feminist” for 2 years. In many ways I always have been, but I bought into much of the lib fem rhetoric over the years with regards to porn and sex work and sex “positivity”. And BDSM. All of these things absolutely directly affected my sex addiction, making it so much worse, so much more difficult to untangle myself from. The shame I feel is unreal. 

We definitely talk a lot about the sex industry and porn on radblr, which includes discussing porn addiction as it relates not only to men, but to women as well, but one thing I don’t believe I’ve ever seen discussed is sex addiction as it’s experienced by women. I only know a couple other sex addicts, and they are men; I know no women with sex addiction. So I feel quite alone. I have a few female friends who can relate on a certain level, women who’ve been especially promiscuous, who gained and sought validation through sex, maybe compulsively. Who have been taken advantage of by men countless times because of this. This in and of itself is not uncommon; in fact it is unsettlingly ubiquitous. 

But I completely and utterly lost myself in this, for the entirety of my sexually formative years through til this day. My entire sexuality feels broken, depraved, and otherwise irreparably damaged. Since I am straight, 99% of my partners have been men and I only fucked women in group sex scenarios, because, well, that’s just what i felt i had to do in those situations. I’m not in the least sexually attracted to women, though honestly, I wish were, simply so i would never have to have sex with a man ever again. I mean, I COULD choose to never have sex with a man ever again, but frankly, sex and sexual love is too important to me to want to relinquish entirely. Afterall, I became a sex addict not just because of compulsions or insecurities, but because at base level, I am a passionate and highly sexual person and I always have been ever since i was a child; and NOT in a fucked up way, I mean like, in a perfectly innocent way that I discovered all on my own. I figured out how to masturbate to orgasm at about age 2 or 3 (it’s literally my first clear memory) just playing around by myself. 

Honestly my sexuality was pure and good until i started having sex. I wasn’t sexually abused as a child, and though I began to experience sexual harassment around puberty, the vast bulk of sexual abuse I have experienced was during my years as a sex addict. And because I’m straight, my partners have virtually all been men, and fuck, I have seen the DARKEST shit in men. But my deepest shame comes from knowing everything that I let these men do to me, things I let them do repeatedly, that I went back for REPEATEDLY; that I continued to willingly fuck men who abused me, who i KNEW were abusing me, that I let men rape me more times than i can count or remember. 

that was very hard to type out. this whole thing’s been a complete rant, but my point is, I want to heal from this, and it feels like I never will. since I can’t get therapy right now, I spend a lot of time reading about abuse and trauma, and I get most of my materials from the radfem community. But like I’ve said, I’ve encountered nothing about female sex addiction through a radical feminist lense. So, if anyone has reading materials to share, books, articles, anything, or has any of their own experiences to contribute or wants to reach out, please do! I want support for myself of course, but I want to support other women as well!

#sex addiction #radfem #radical feminists please interact #terfs please interact

[genevulva]

Ask #1, #15, or #38! ❤️

Thank you so much for sending me some questions from @radfemlibrarian​‘s ask game! 1.  What does the ideal feminist society look like? For me, I think the ideal feminist society is a society where females are liberated from patriarchy/male oppression, in all its many ways. I think it’s a society where we see women in more positions of power. I think its a society that has universal basic income, housing, food security, and healthcare because it recognizes how capitalism is an oppressive structure that makes many women turn to sexual exploitation. I think its a society where gender roles and biases no longer exist. However, I feel as though it is a society I will never live to see in my lifetime. 15. Do you believe in marriage? I think that marriage started out (and still is in certain situations, ie child brides etc) as a way to oppress women and treat them as property. I think for some today though it is a way to celebrate the relationship and love and commitment between two individuals. However, I don’t believe certain benefits should only be given to married people, and that we as a society should put fewer expectations on relationships since we do not need them to be full. I am also a lesbian, so thankfully I will never end up marrying my oppressor, so I think that slightly changes my answer as well. I don’t believe partnerships with men, marriage or otherwise, is a feminist action. However, we are humans and cannot be politically pure all the time. Some women even find out about feminism years after marriage! There's nuance to the discussion. We cannot shame other women for marriage or their OSA, it gets us nowhere. Although political celibacy is safest for women, not every woman can be celibate and that doesn’t mean they are barred from feminism. 38.  Are there social situations where you think radical feminism fails? I’m a bit confused by the question but I’ll do my best to answer it from my interpretation. I think that the Nordic model fails if we do not target the reason women turn towards prostitution/sex work: poverty. Even if we decriminalize the worker and criminalize the buyer, women will still turn to sexual exploitation if they are struggling financially. Minimum wage can only do so much, and sometimes women, especially disabled women like myself, or migrant women without citizenship, cannot even get a minimum wage job! And so they turn to sexual exploitation out of a necessity to survive. In order for the Nordic Model to work, we need to implement financial support systems in order to eliminate the need to turn to sexual exploitation. As feminists, we need to be intersectional and understand how different axes of oppression and structural systems contribute to women’s oppression. As for social situations, I think a lot of people on radblr forget nuance at times, as well as forget their humanity. I understand how frustrating and angry these things can be, I understand how emotions run high. But if we want change we need to act with a clear head and critical thinking, not just black and white.

#Anonymous