#my sister is 19 & grew up in the age of beauty influencers & i watched her grow up faster than she should have | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ssinkpress · 3 years

Link

FROM: June 27, 2021.

FEAR STREET STAR SADIE SINK IS THE NEW TEEN SCREAM QUEEN

You might recognise her as the tomboy from Stranger Things, but the now 19‑year‑old from small‑town Texas is about to star in this summer’s Netflix horror blockbuster

Shannon Mahanty Sunday June 27 2021, 12.01am BST, The Sunday Times

Sadie Sink is trying to work out if she is an adult. Over Zoom from her parents’ house in New Jersey, she tilts her head from side to side as she runs through a checklist of criteria. “I’ve graduated from school. I don’t need a parent on set any more. I can work longer hours.” So far, so adult. “But I don’t know if I feel like one,” she says. “Working as an actor forces you to grow up faster, but I’ll always be a kid at heart — as long as I’m playing a kid on the show.”

“The show” is Netflix’s Stranger Things, the TV series turned cultural juggernaut that Sink joined in its second season. Its appeal is enduring: according to Netflix, 64 million households tuned in to watch the third season in the first four weeks of its release. And its original child actors are now household names: Finn Wolfhard went on to star in It, while Millie Bobby Brown fronted Calvin Klein campaigns and has launched her own beauty brand.

That loyal fanbase has proved a blessing and a curse for Sink, now aged 19. She was 14 when she joined the cast as Max, an outspoken skater and the new girl at school. “From the announcement of the new cast members [for season two], there was this huge online presence, with people suddenly commenting and following me,” she says. “That’s a lot for a 14-year-old girl who is still trying to figure herself out.” (She now has more than 13 million followers on Instagram.) Once filming began she took regular breaks from being online. “Now I delete [Instagram] from my phone for months at a time. I don’t share everything because I think lines can easily get blurred — social media becomes your world and that’s not where I want to go.”

Nothing prepared her for the unique experience of being thrust into the limelight of one of the most popular TV shows in history. “Sometimes I’d fly in from LA on a red-eye and go straight to school that morning,” she says. “It’s weird leaving school and then coming back and people treating you differently.” The cast are tightknit — she has even joined Brown on holiday. “Working with people your age who understand what you’re going through, there’s this bond you all have. Some of us have known each other since we were very little, we’ve grown up together. At this point it’s beyond any type of friendship — it’s family.”

They were in the middle of shooting the fourth series of Stranger Things when the pandemic struck. What was initially planned as a “two-week break” became an eight-month hiatus. Sink spent lockdown at home in New Jersey with her parents and four siblings (she has a younger sister and three older brothers). “It was the longest time I spent at home with them since I can remember. We had our quarantine fights but for the most part everyone got on.”

She had to graduate from high school in a virtual ceremony, but she also got to attend a virtual fashion show for Miu Miu. “I would have loved to be in Milan in person but they made it so special. They sent me an amazing look with this little box of candies and treats. It was so exciting, especially after months of not dressing up. It was fun to look pretty and wear make-up.” The fashion world has always loved the Stranger Things kids: Sink walked for Undercover at Paris fashion week when she was 15, and recently fronted a campaign for Givenchy beauty.

Sink grew up in a small town in Texas, where her mother taught maths at the local school and her dad was a football coach. She joined the local theatre, which had links with New York production companies, aged seven and landed her first lead role at 11, in a 2012 Broadway production of Annie. It was on the New York theatre circuit she met future co-stars Gaten Matarazzo and Caleb McLaughlin. And in 2015 she was cast alongside Helen Mirren in The Audience. “Seeing Helen rehearse a role, she’s so careful about every line of the script, I learnt a lot. She was one of the first actors that taught me what a craft acting can be,” Sink says. There were TV and film roles too: as Anna Friel’s daughter in American Odyssey and in The Glass Castle with Woody Harrelson.

Naturally details of the new season of Stranger Things are being kept strictly under wraps, but her next project, Fear Street, will go a long way to filling the supernatural gap. Based on a series of novels by the Goosebumps author, RL Stine, the trilogy of teen horror films, set in 1994, 1978 and 1666, is satisfyingly spooky. Three generations find themselves plagued by a curse that has haunted their sleepy town for hundreds of years. Sink stars in the final two, playing a rebellious kid at summer camp in 1978 alongside Gillian Jacobs and Olivia Welch. To be released on Netflix over three consecutive weeks, the films are jam-packed with jump scares and brutally gory moments — the goal is to create the horror event of the summer.

There is often a dark image that springs to mind at the mention of “child star”. Dizzying heights of fame followed by a crushing fall: the messy trajectory of Macaulay Culkin, rehab-bound former Disney stars such as Lindsay Lohan and Shia LaBeouf. But Sink is part of a new wave of Gen Z stars who are the antithesis: a socially conscious cohort who have grown up with social media and want to use their platform to champion the causes they care about. “I’m definitely aware of how conscious my generation is about what is going on in the world,” she says. “It’s discouraging as a young person watching the world we’re going to have to grow up in. But rather than see it as something that’s not going to change, we see it as something that is eventually going to be under our influence.” She might not feel like one yet, but she certainly sounds like a grown-up to me.

Part one of the Fear Street trilogy is on Netflix from Friday, with parts two and three available from July 9 and July 16

Styling: Molly Dickson. Hair: Lacy Redway. Make-up: Quinn Murphy using Givenchy

#thetimes #press #pressfs #2021

2 notes · View notes

timebird84 · 4 years

Text

🎄 PotO Advent Calendar ‘19 🎄

The Christmas Rose

by @a-partofthenarrative

"Papa!

The small, shrill voice startled him out of his focus and Erik lay aside his quill with a defeated sigh. “In here, ange.” A curly brown head and two sparkling eyes appeared in the doorway of the music room and the Opera Ghost suppressed a smile. “Shouldn’t you be in bed, Ariane?”

Those eyes blinked up at him as she drew closer, chewing thoughtfully on a lower lip. “Maman said I could have a bedtime story first.”

“Ah, did she now?” Erik straightened the pages of sheet music on the piano before leaning down so he met this new gaze at eye-level. “And does Maman plan to deliver on this particular request?”

A fierce shake of her head sent brown curls flying. “She said you would tell me one because your’re more dramatic.”

“Is that so?” he replied with a touch of wry humor. When he received another affirming nod, he could not stop the affectionate chuckle that fell from his lips. “Well, then I suppose I don't have any choice in the matter, now do I?”

HIs daughter only shrugged, studied him for a moment and then flounced from the room. Erik watched her go, then rose from the bench, ignoring the protesting creak and snap of his bones. He spotted his target as she rounded the corner into her own bedroom and followed suit, entering the small space as she hoisted herself onto the bed.

She met his gaze with a grin as he took a seat beside her, toeing off his shoes before stretching long legs out before him and his heart threatened to burst as it did every time she snuggled trustingly into his side. “Comfortable, ma belle?” When she nodded, he settled himself against her enormous stack of pillows- a habit encouraged by her mother, no doubt - and asked, “Very well then. Which type of story will suit your flight of fancy tonight?

Ariane looked thoughtful for a moment. "A romantic story." she said dreamily

Behind the mask, Erik arched a brow. "A romance?"

She nodded eagerly. "Yes Papa! A romantic story!"

His knowledge of those stories appropriate for a five year old was severely limited. "Alright. What would you like me to tell you? Cinderella, perhaps? Or would you prefer to hear Sleeping Beauty once more." HIs mind raced as he attempted to take inventory of other stories he had told her in the past.

Ariane shook her small head vigorously, ace scrunched in distaste. "Not those stories. A romantic Christmas story!"

"A Christmas romance on Christmas Eve. How unoriginal." Erik grumbled, but nonetheless pondered her request for a moment before a sly smile spread across his features. "Ah, but then I think I know just the story."

Ariane’s smile was brilliant. "What is the story about, Papa?" she asked as she yawned, but quickly covered it with her hand, hoping her father wouldn't see it. “Is there a princess?”

He had, but pretended not to notice. "No princesses, Aria. But there is an Angel," he began. "Now, this is a story passed on to me by a very reliable source. I say that because in all of my life, I have found very few of them. Therefore they few that I do meet, I trust with my very life. They have told me that this is a true story, full of magic and surprise, much like the fairy tales you love so much.” Pausing for dramatic (ha!) effect (Far be it from him to disappoint the girl, after all), he finished with a theatrical wave of his hand. “The story of The Christmas Rose"

"Tell it to me!." She gazed up at him with rapt attention in those deep amber eyes, so much another pair he adored.

He chuckled. "I am about to, my love." Mollified for the moment, Ariane relaxed against him as he closed his eyes. "Let me see now. How do most of your stories begin? Oh, yes. 'Once upon a time…'"

….......................

Once upon a time there lived a Man. This was no ordinary man, mind you. No, this man was an outcast upon the people. Abandoned at an early age, he had been forced to fend for himself, stealing when necessary for the sole need of survival. As he grew, he had been many places and seen many things, yet longed for the one thing that would make his life whole. The only thing he ever wanted or cared for in his life. He wanted to love and be loved in returned.

Hardly a request to yearn over, you say. Surely it was fulfilled with no remorse, you think. You are wrong. No one, not even the Man's own mother had ever shown him one shred of affection. Because of this, the many marvelous things he saw and experienced held nothing for him, for he had no one in which to share their beauty.

Therefore, the Man became a recluse. He made his home where no soul would ever dare to look. He went without human contact for many years, relying on one person alone to maintain his knowledge of the outside world. In many ways, she became his mother and only friend and although he would never admit it to a living soul, he came to trust her implicitly."

……………..

"Pa-pa?"

A new voice caused both sets of eyes to fly open as a third member of the party toddled into the bedroom, pausing by the bed to pierce each of them with her best attempt at Erik’s menacing glare. “I wanna story too!”.

Ariane huffed while her father simply chuckled. “My humblest apologies, Sabine, ma fleur. How very foolish of me to begin without you.”

“Maybe I want to be a flower too.” Ariane huffed from his left side.

“Ah, but you are both the most exquisite of blossoms,” Erik soothed, lifting his younger daughter to join them. “And as there is plenty of room in the garden for a multitude of blossoms, there is also room for both of you at my side.”

Ariane blinked up at him as Sabine settled herself happily between Eriks knees. “She’s in your lap, Papa,” she deadpanned.

“All the same, my darlings,” he replied. “Now, as I was saying…”

……………………………..

Years went by. Many things changed, yet the Man's life remained exactly as before. Until one day, that is.

One day, something happened that would change his life forever, both for the good and the bad; Something that he would never forget.

The Man fell in love.

How could that possibly be bad, you ask? I will tell you. The Man did not fall in love with just anyone. He fell in love with an Angel with a heavenly voice. The Man trained her voice, becoming her teacher and eventually her friend. Their relationship continued for some time, the Angel never knowing the depth of the Man's love for her. Perhaps it was his own mistake that he never told her, but as time went on, she found herself in the company of a handsome Prince.

The handsome Prince was fine indeed, blessed with wealth, beauty and influence. The son of a nobleman, he held the world at his beck and call. Surely he was perfect, much to the ire of the Man. The Prince was everything the Man was not and he was certain he could feel his Angel slipping away.. As such, the Man realized time was running out.

Mustering all of his courage, he brought her to his home once more, where they had spent countless hours lost together in their world of music, he made his feelings known to her at last.

The Angel knew she had a choice to make. She held the hearts of two men in her hands. One she would take for herself, the other she would crush forever. Should she choose her handsome Price and live in luxury all her life? Or should she choose the Man, her teacher and friend who had given her his greatest gift he had to give? Oh, how she agonized over the choice, but she knew it had to be made and finally, it was.

She chose her handsome Prince.

…...........................................................

“I don’t like this story.”

Erik glanced down only to be met with Ariane’s disapproving frown. “That’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think?”

When she only shrugged, he shifted attention to his youngest. “And you, Sabine? Will you also pass judgement so quickly?”

Gemstone eyes under a mop of black curls in his lap tipped up to look at him, then found the sour face of her elder sister, sealing her opinion in the like. “No good, Papa,” was her solemn reply.

“Perhaps the both of you have a few too many of my genes” he muttered, sotto voce before forcing the brightness back into his voice. “What if I were to tell you that this is only the beginning?”

Ariane ached a brow. “Then there is a happy ending?”

“I’ve yet to find a Christmas romance that did end that way.”

She waved a careless hand, a gesture that should be well beyond her half-decade of life. “Then keep going. I trust you, Papa.”

Erik pressed his lips together, just for a moment. “As you wish.”

…...................................................

Needless to say, the Man's heart was broken beyond repair. The one chance in his life he had ever found to love and be loved had been ripped from his hands and with it, his hopes destroyed. Unable to stand the thought or sight of the Angel with her Prince, he left the country at the first available opportunity and went as far as he was able in order to forget any shred of hope he may have once had.

As is its way, time passed. The Man, unable to stay in one place for very long, had spent that time moving from place to place, finally beginning to heal from his emotional wounds. He still loathed human contact of any time, unable to trust anyone after what had happened. After months of aimless wandering, he finally returned to the country where he had spent most of his life and was shocked at what he found upon his arrival.

A new scandal had arisen- the talk of the town, if you will..The Angel had left her Prince! Some said his family drove her away. Others said she was in love with a ghost. Still others said she had led him on from the beginning. The rumors were everywhere. For a split second, hope sparked somewhere in the depths of the Man’s icy soul. Could he have a second chance at what he had longed for all of his life? Could he risk his heart again? The questions hounded him as he walked through the streets.

Upon reflecting on his past, the Man decided against it. He had been burned before; he would not be burned again. He shut himself away just as he had in the early part of his life, not that he was old now. He turned away anyone who attempted to see him, including the Woman, his sole friend who had been his contact to the outside world. His heart could not take another rejection. He would surely die if it were to happen once more and it was not a risk he was willing to take.

….................................................

“...Are you absolutely sure it gets better?” Ariane’s tone indicated she was not holding out much hope for her promised happy ending and even Sabine looked doubtful as she peered up at him.

“Trust me, bel anges” he murmured, working very hard to suppress the smile that seemed almost second nature these days. “Have I ever disappointed you before?”

Ariane tossed another doubtful glance at her sister, but blinked up at him expectantly. Erik sighed, knowing that was as much of an answer that he was going to receive and continued...

…............................................................

The Man had a visitor one day. It was the Woman who had been his only friend the majority of his life. At first, he would not allow her entrance to his home, but she stood her ground, threatening to bodily break in if necessary. Not wanting to be responsible for the injury of an old woman, he finally relented and allowed her to enter.

She seated herself in his parlor and asked him where he had been all of those months. He did not reply, but she was not swayed. You see, this Woman had the ace in the proverbial card game. She was also like a mother to the Angel. The girl had been orphaned at an early age and the Woman and her daughter had taken her into their lives and now, their home. The Woman smiled at the Man and invited for Christmas Day as it was the next day and he had no where to be.

At first the Man balked at her invitation, flatly refusing any and all offer of hospitality. The Woman let him rant and sulk, staring at him with pursed lips and calculating eyes. It was only when he fell silent that she seized the opportunity to play her ace. She proceeded in inform him that the Angel would also be present for the holiday festivities. Again the Man refused, knowing that the sight of her would only deepen the pain in his heart that he had dedicated his life to forgetting. To see her again would be his undoing.

Once again, Woman listened quietly before giving her reply. Once he had finished, she took the opportunity to verbally thrash him within an inch of his life. She told him of the Angel. How she thought that the Man was dead, how she had only ever really loved him; that being the reason she could not bring herself to marry the Prince.

The Man had not weakened. If she had truly loved him, why did she choose the Prince? The woman was quiet for a moment. She then answered that the Angel had been horribly confused in her situation. A heart cannot be forced to choose, nevermind choosing wisely in the short amount of time that she had been given.

With a glare, the Woman stood, ready to take her leave, but advised him at this point in the road, he had two choices. He could put his foolish pride on the shelf and take a chance of love again or he could feel sorry for himself, stay put and rot away with no one to share his life with. The choice was his and his alone.

He sat in silence as the Woman brushed past him and left his house without a word. Her words had left him speechless. Had she truly cried when she thought him dead? She loved him enough to leave the prince, even with him supposedly dead? He knew he had to make a choice. He wanted to be with her, yes, but he was a proud man. Not someone to easily admit his mistakes.

And yet...

With a resigned sigh, his choice was made. To hell with his stubborn pride. All that mattered now was getting to the Angel.

Bursting from his chair, the Man made his way to the desk. Sitting down once more, he took out a piece of paper and penned a letter to the angel. Securing his cloak, he made his way to the Woman's house and sought out the Angel's room. It was late at night and he knew she would be sleeping. Very quietly, he snuck into her room and placed the letter and a snow-white rose on the vanity and took his leave.

…………….

“Papa, down!” Sabine’s slaps to his thighs broke the spell. “Milk!”

“You want milk?” Erik clarified as her small head bobbed vigorously. “Very well. Let me just..”

“No, Papa” She stopped him with another light slap to his leg. “I get. Be right back”

“Oh…” He watched, stupefied as she carefully slid out from between his legs, off of the bed and scampered down to the kitchen.

At his side, Arine let out an impatient groan. “She always has to run off during the good parts!”

“I’m sure she’ll return in no time,” he placated, taking the opportunity to squeeze his oldest a bit tighter. “But it is good to see I’ve managed to win you over, hmmm? Ah, here she is now.”

“Hurry up, Saby,” Arine whined, but took the cup so her sister could settle herself again. With the younger girl sipping contentedly and the older nearly bursting with anticipation, Erik allowed himself a knowing smile as he brought his story to its conclusion.

………………...

The next morning, the Angel awoke. She was not very cheerful, as it was Christmas, yet she had no reason to celebrate. She stretched and her gaze fell on her vanity, where she saw what the man had placed there the night before. She leapt from the bed, ran to the vanity and carefully picked up the rose. She breathed in its scent, closing her eyes to savor its sweetness. The Angel then picked up the letter, searching and scanning every line for his words until she saw his instructions directing her to the parlor.

Quickly throwing on a robe, she flew down the stairs and into said parlor where Woman and her daughter sat, their faces bright with conspiratorial smiles. The Angel blinked, perplexed. She knew the handwriting of the letter, yet saw no one else in the room. Her eyes flicked around the space for a moment before questioning the woman as to the purpose of the letter. The woman did not answer didn't answer, only handed the Angel another letter bearing the same seal.

The Angel quickly tore open the second missive, eyes moving furiously over the parchment. This one instructed her to go into the garden. Not even thinking to change out of her nightclothes, the Angel threw on boots and an overcoat and hurried as fast as her legs would carry her. She reached the garden, panting heavily from the run. Glancing around frantically for any sign, her gaze finally settled on the willow tree at the far end of the yard.

Under the tree stood the Man, waiting patiently for the Angel- his Angel- to take notice to him. The Angel's face broke into a large smile as she raced to the Man, launching herself into his embrace. To a casual observer, it was quite a contrast: she in her nightgown, he in the finest of evening wear, yet neither cared.

The Man gently set the Angel back on her feet and reached into his coat. Out of his coat he pulled a rose as red as blood and her eyes widened. He told her it was a very special rose indeed: A Christmas Rose that would bring a great happiness to whoever received it- if it were accepted with an open heart. Speechless, she took it from him with tears in her eyes.

Before she could embrace him again, he reached once more into his coat and withdrew a small box. Inside that box was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. Right there in the snow, the Man dropped to bended knee and asked for her hand. The Angel’s reply was to leap into his arms, knocking him flat on his back in the snow. As she kissed him, then and there he knew his life had at last changed for the better. And oh, yes. What is that you say? They did indeed live happily ever after."

………………………....

"And that, my dears, is the story of the Christmas Rose. It is a fantastical tale of pure love with no-" Erik stopped mid-sentence when he failed to hear the twin sighs of happiness that usually accompanied one of his stories. “Girls?” It was only then that he glanced down to find both of his daughters sprawled against him, fast asleep and looking quite content.

The masked man chuckled and, after carefully extracting himself, pressed a kiss to her Ariane’s forehead as he tugged the blankets to her chin. "Good night, ma belle.” Lifting Sabine into his arms, he carried her across the room, where he deposited her in her own bed, repeating the process as he had with Ariane.”And to you as well, ma fleur. Merry Christmas, mon chers."

Slipping silently from the room, he had barely set foot in the hall before he felt two small slide around his middle and a slight form settle against his back with a sigh. His long fingers twined with the smaller ones as if by magic and he chuckled slightly before advising. "Well played, mon ange.They’re finally asleep."

Christine’s soft smile was brilliant as he turned in her arms, enfolding her and knotting large hands at the base of her spine.. "It's about time. What kept you so long?"

Erik’s hold on her tightened. "Ariane insisted I tell her a story. An idea, I might add, which you aided those tiny imps in hoodwinking me. But I suppose it is Christmas Eve."

She nodded, ignoring his jibe. "What story did you tell them.?"

He could not keep the wry grin from his face. "The Christmas Rose."

A secret smile spread across Christine's face. "Ah, I’ve always liked that one...and rather fitting if you ask me."

Erik chuckled leaning down to steal a kiss from that upturned mouth. "As you say, love." Still, he followed her gaze to the shadow box that hung on the wall next to their wedding portrait- a dark mahogany framing Venetian glass that held two pieces of paper, written in a scrawled hand, as well as a handful of rose petals, a beautiful duet of blood and snow.

Christine glanced up at him, then tipped her crown against his shoulder, giving his waist a squeeze for good measure. “How long do you think it will be?”

Erik caught her meaning immediately and gave a helpless shrug. “Who can say?” he mused. “But something tells me the girls will come to realize, much sooner than either you or I could ever believe, that truth is stranger than fiction.”

#PotO Advent Calendar #PotO #Phantom of the Opera #sixteenth door #a-partofthenarrative #timebird84

54 notes · View notes

sockparade · 4 years

Text

tips for surviving the pandemic: things i learned from my immigrant parents

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a little over a week since the WHO announced that the coronavirus (COVID-19) was officially a pandemic. This has been a long, challenging week for a lot of people and it is nothing short of terrifying to read reports of what is happening in Asia and Europe as many predict that we’ll likely endure a similar fate here in the United States. In the midst of all of this chaos and uncertainty, I’ve been reminded of so many lessons that my Taiwanese immigrant parents taught me. I’m sharing them here so that others might also benefit. Thanks Ma. Thanks Daddy.

你昨天已經出去了.

“You already went out yesterday.“

1. Learn how to stay home. Our family is eight days into self-isolating at home and Tony asked me this morning if I had cabin fever. And strangely, the answer is no. I’m not. Not to downplay the difficulty of this moment but my experience with this “shelter-in-place” ordinance reminds of pretty much all my summers between kindergarten and 8th grade. Both of my parents worked full-time so summer was just three blissful months of nothing. No structure, no plans, no camps, no playdates, and no responsibilities. My parents never made me feel like I was missing a thing by staying home and I don’t remember ever feeling bored. There were always library books to read, stories to write, and thoughts to journal. Hours were spent playing school with my big sister (now a first grade teacher!), making up random games like who can avoid touching the carpet longest, learning Kim Zmeskal’s latest gymnastics floor routine, writing lyrics to Kenny G saxophone solos, and rehearsing for our variety show that we would perform to our tired parents at the end of the day. And that’s not even including the hours we spent watching The Price is Right, CHIPS, Knight Rider, and Airwolf (yep, no cable).

As a teenager I carefully plotted all my hangouts with friends so that I didn’t have too many consecutive days when I was out of the house. Whenever I asked my parents if I could hang out with friends, they would always say, “But you already went out yesterday. What’s wrong with staying home? Why do you always have to go out?” It was as if having too much fun two days in a row was off limits. If there was a big party on Friday, I would purposely make sure I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday just to increase the chances of being able to go out on Friday. I know a lot of people talk about how awful their high school years were but I was one of those lucky kids who had a really great group of friends that made me feel seen, loved, and cared for. The downside was that I couldn’t get enough of it. I was always thinking about the next hangout, the next event, the next thing. It took me all the way until my late twenties to fully appreciate the fine art of staying home and to finish my unexpected transformation into the expert homebody that I am today.

I’m reminded of that old quote by Blaise Pascal, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

It’s great to be out and about, but it’s also really important to learn how to stay home.

______________________________________________

晚上要吃什麼？清冰箱.

“What are we eating for dinner?” “Cleaning the fridge.”

2. Be creative with what you have. I love food. Not in a foodie sense, but I get a lot of pleasure out of eating. I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. I thoroughly enjoy a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as much as I enjoy a fancy, inventive, Michelin-starred meal at Commis. What’s hard for me is when food is eaten as sustenance rather than with delight. But my parents taught me that you can always take pride in preparing a meal. No matter your ingredients.

My mom is an excellent cook. I know a lot of people think their mom is a good cook but my mom is legitimately skilled in the kitchen. There were some nights when I’d ask what was for dinner and my mom would just reply, “Cleaning the fridge.”

Now for some, this might sound terrifying. But my mom could honestly make something out of nothing. I still crave my dad’s simple egg and garlic fried rice. My parents raised me to be able to make an tasty meal just from rummaging in the pantry and fridge for random leftover things. There were plenty of summers where lunches and snacks were an individual culinary adventure for each of us kids. I still remember the day I witnessed my baby sister add a Kraft single on top of her onion ramen noodles. She saw my confusion, shrugged and said, “You should try it, it’s good.”

With all the hoarding folks have been doing during this pandemic, I’ve found myself feeling quite anxious. Trying to calculate if we have enough food. Estimating how many more meals we can eat at home before we need to make another grocery run. As someone who struggles with a scarcity mentality it has been hard not to panic. But then I keep reminding myself that I know how to make good food using just whatever’s available.

You know, I was pretty disappointed with Mary H.K. Choi’s second novel, Permanent Record, given how much I enjoyed her debut novel, Emergency Contact. But I was absolutely thrilled with the shine she gave to what her protagonist calls “Hot Snacks”.

Here’s an excerpt from Permanent Record that is a beautiful ode to creative food mashups and immigrant kids everywhere:

“I edit and post a Shin Ramyun Black video set to music. My favorite instant noodles with three flavor packets and so much garlic. It’s a classic Korean HotSnack, especially when you throw in cut-up hot dogs, frozen dumplings, extra kimchi - and this is where the artistry comes in- eggs, cheese, corn from a can, and a drizzle of sesame oil on top. And furikake if you’re feeling wealthy. The next night I put up a bacon, egg, and cheese not in a bagel but in a glazed honey bun. Laced with sriracha and pan fried on the outside. Then it’s chilaquiles with Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and chorizo. Jamaican beef patty casserole disrespected with a smothering of Japanese curry and broiled. With Crystal Hot Sauce over the top and pickled banana peppers. I’m trolling with that one but the controversy is berserk. When I run out of old videos, I make saag paneer naanchos with Trader Joe’s frozen Indian food, and it’s a hit. Especially when I add yogurt and a thick layer of crushed-up Takis on top.”

______________________________________________

看連續劇.

“Watch soap operas.”

3. Find a way to escape. I’m generally pro technology but I’ll admit I’m a little bummed at the way iPhones and iPads have made TV viewing such an individual activity. I like how Disney+ has gotten some families back to watching TV together again. Although I will say, we really coddle our kids these days. I grew up in a time when movie ratings only applied in the theaters and we watched movies with our families like Alien, The Fly, and Gremlins. We were scared out of our minds and sometimes could only watch through the cracks between our fingers covering our eyes because it was so scary. Okay, this also might be why I can’t watch horror movies as an adult.

From a young age, my parents taught me that watching other people’s drama unfold on screen is one of the best way to escape your own drama. Some people say binge watching became a thing when the TV networks started releasing shows on DVD. Others give credit to Netflix releasing their original content a whole season at a time. But truth be told, I first learned how to binge watch from my parents.

We would rent 30-40 VHS cassette tapes from that random spot in Bellaire Chinatown. Can you picture it? You needed multiple plastic bags to transport that many VHS tapes.

Do you remember the one about the dying mother who needed to find homes for each of her 7 children? I don’t think it’s normal for a 10 year old to cry so much but you better believe it’s made me learn the true value of a soap opera escape hatch.

Are you in a pandemic? Now’s the perfect time to pick up that YA novel, binge that reality show, start that kdrama, or rewatch all six seasons of The Sopranos again.

______________________________________________

下個禮拜會下雨.

“It’s going to rain next week.”

4. Be informed about what’s ahead. If you ask either of my parents about the weather at any given time they can reliably tell you the daily percent chance of precipitation and humidity for at least seven days out. They’ve always been this way. They would inform me of the weather at various points throughout the week. They planned their yard work and car washes around the weather forecast. There’s something about the way the weather forecast is available to everyone. And it feels like it’s just a matter of making the small extra effort to access it and gain a slight advantage. I feel like so much of the immigrant mentality is to be diligent in making the right choices to not screw yourself over and seizing opportunities whenever you can. And it wasn’t just weather but this is such an obvious example of it.

I remember my dad saying to me once, "Can you imagine if someone decided to read every book in their local library? If they just went shelf by shelf and systematically read all the books? You could do it, you know. It’s free, it doesn’t cost any money to check out a book from the library. But no one really does it.”

I think immigrant parents get a bad reputation for forwarding chain letters and health/science hoaxes they get on email, WeChat and Line. And in a pandemic, yes, they are definitely susceptible to misinformation, rumors and flat out untruths. But the thought behind it seems right.

The mistrust of government leadership is actually quite relevant right now in this pandemic. Many immigrants left countries with governments that were overtly corrupt, oppressive, and used propaganda to influence its citizens. And while many Americans still take pride in living in a country that verbally champions freedom and democracy, the truth is that our government has already failed us and lied to us in many ways. During this pandemic, we cannot wait on leaders to tell us what to do. We must be diligent in reading for ourselves, seeking experts, using our critical thinking skills, and making preparations accordingly.

______________________________________________

會不會冷?

“Are you cold?”

5. Check in with yourself. Check in with others. I have so many memories of my parents walking through the living room and asking me and my sisters if we were cold. It felt like they couldn’t walk past the thermostat without asking us if they needed to raise it or lower it. As if they couldn’t hear us sneeze and wonder if they needed to turn off the ceiling fan. They couldn’t see us sitting in a dim room without turning on a light for us. There are so many times I fell asleep reading on the couch and woke up with a blanket over me. Or sometimes I was fully awake doing something random, like playing Egyptian Rat Screw with my sisters (a cardgame for the uninitiated), and my mom would walk by and wordlessly drop a warm, heavy blanket over my shoulders. That’s care, y’all. Consistent, immediate action, and often without words.

The tip here is to pay attention to your discomfort during a pandemic. There’s this immigrant stereotype of stoicism and that’s true to some degree but maybe the resilience is made possible not because of unnatural toughness but largely because immigrant parents can also be so incredibly perceptive and tender in some very tangible ways.

When everything is chaotic around you and you’re busy multitasking these next few months, don’t ignore your needs. Notice how you’re feeling. Physically and emotionally. Where are you carrying your stress and tension in your body? You don’t have to tough it out. Oh and remember to check in with your people on how they’re feeling. Is there a light switch you can turn on for someone?

______________________________________________

笑死人.

“Laugh to death.”

6. Laugh to survive. Look, we didn’t have the perfect family or anything like that. We’ve definitely had our share of difficult times, financial stress, health issues, arguments, and pain. But my parents also really knew how to laugh and taught us to laugh with abandon. Like, bent over, tears running out of your eyes, can’t breathe kind of laughing. Our dinner table was kind of like a writer’s room. It was difficult to tell a mediocre story. You had better come prepared with a punchline or a point. It was a tough crowd, every night. On many occasions I stopped myself halfway through a story upon the self-realization that there was no real way to land the plane. Polite laughs were nowhere to be found, except perhaps a charitable smile from my baby sister. But it didn’t stop us from trying. I think my sisters and I are all probably better storytellers for it and we definitely have learned to try to bring humor into difficult times.

I know that this pandemic is so incredibly dark and depressing that it can sometimes feel disrespectful, inappropriate, or childish to laugh at anything. But my parents taught me that you laugh to survive. Nothing is ever so dark that you can’t find a reason to laugh. And sometimes you really need to find something to laugh about.

I’ve been taking long breaks each day from major media news outlets but I have been finding such joy and laughter from the meme creators on IG and the comedic geniuses on Twitter. In Taiwanese when something’s really funny, people will say a phrase that is imperfectly translated as laugh to death. Like you killed a person it was so funny. Now’s the time to find that content or those people who will get you to laugh to death.

______________________________________________

我要去挪車.

“I’m going to go re-park the cars.”

7. Go to bed with a plan for the next morning. I grew up in a suburb of Houston, Texas where one property developer built the entire neighborhood and used the same eight or nine floor plans for all the houses but changed up the brick and trim color to keep things interesting. Most homes have a long driveway that connects a garage set near the backdoor of a home to the street. By the time I was driving, we had four cars in total -- two in the garage and two on the driveway. At the end of the day when everyone was home for the night and my dad was getting ready to go to bed, he’d announce, “I’m going to go re-park the cars.” Then we’d all kind of stop what we were doing and rearrange the order of the cars to match our morning departure schedules. This meant figuring out who was leaving when in the morning and sometimes also prompted brief check-in conversations about any changes in our usual routine.

In a pandemic it can sometimes feel like there are a million different things to attend to and large conceptual concerns that demand your attention. But there’s something calming and centering about spending a few minutes each night thinking through specifically what needs to happen just tomorrow. Not the day after or next week. Get super tactical and specific about what tomorrow morning looks like. Check-in with your partner about any aberrations to your schedule (e.g. I have a super important conference call at 7am tomorrow) to minimize any unnecessary surprises. There’s something magical about setting up your morning that helps you rest just a little easier at night.

______________________________________________

星期三我們有禱告會.

“On Wednesdays we have prayer meeting.”

8. Make time for your spirituality. Growing up my parents both had physically demanding jobs. My mom was a seamstress for many years, providing alterations at my aunt and uncle’s dry cleaners. She later worked in an elementary school cafeteria and then eventually became a classroom aide for special needs students. My dad worked at that same dry cleaners for years until he got a job at the post office. He then became a letter carrier, delivering mail on foot. The summer months were especially grueling, carrying a heavy sack of mail in 100 degree, humid weather, and walking until sweat soaked his shirts and blisters formed on his feet. They had every excuse to skip weeknight events. But unless they were sick in bed, I can’t remember a time when they missed their weekly prayer meeting with their friends from church.

Pandemics have an unsettling way of forcing us to confront our mortality and can trigger a bunch of unresolved shit that has been bubbling underneath the surface. We’ve lost some of our usual coping mechanisms and it can be super hard to quiet the anxieties, fears, and other demons that we usually try to keep under control. This isn’t a lecture about a particular faith or belief system. It’s just a reminder to prioritize your existential questions, your interior life, and your connection to things much bigger than yourself -- whether that’s a community, a yoga practice, a faith group, a tradition, or something else.

I have a fledgling meditation practice that I’ve been trying to strengthen since last year. When I say fledgling I mean that sometimes I bail before the ten minutes is up and check my phone. Even though I’m not very good at it yet, I can really tell the difference on the days that I make time for it. Our church started hosting its weekly Sunday service online and that’s challenging for me because a church service feels like it’s designed to be so much about the physical rhythm of going to a place, seeing faces of people I love, hearing their voices co-mingling with mine in song and in prayer, and tasting the bread and wine in my mouth. The online service was short, and just for viewing through a zoom conference call, but there was still something meaningful about setting aside that time Sunday morning, asking our wiggly kids to be present, and saying the liturgy out loud knowing that in homes all across the country, other people are doing the same.

If things are really going to get as bad as some are predicting, we’ll need the spiritual strength to make it to the other side. Those habits are hard to form overnight. My parents taught me that you really have to make the time for your spirituality non-negotiable, so that you won’t abandon it when it’s inconvenient or when you are too tired.

______________________________________________

沒辦法.

“What choice do we have?”

9. Rise to the occasion. Whenever my parents are telling old war stories about things they had to do to get to where they are today, inevitably one of us will say, “Man that’s crazy, how did you manage to do it?” And instead of pointing to some super personality trait of theirs or some complex self-help principle, they always say, “We had no choice.” It’s not said in a defeated way, but in a posture of accepting that life can be cruel, unfair, and capricious. And that it’s not helpful to dwell too long on the why’s and how’s. My parents taught me that you can’t stay in despair mode. You eventually have to push yourself into problem solving mode and you do whatever it takes to move forward.

This coronavirus is so unlike anything we’ve ever experienced in our lifetime. It is so unprecedented for me that my brain is having a hard time processing the reality of what’s happening right now and the rest of my lived experience. I spent the first few days of this week just being overwhelmed, anxious, angry, and irritable. At this point though, I’m in go mode. I’m doing what needs to be done for our family and taking care of business. What choice do we have? I can hear my parents saying it. One day, if we’re lucky, we’ll say it to our kids too.

#coronavirus #immigrants #immigrant parents #survival tips #advice #covid-19 #pandemic #childhood #lifelessons

15 notes · View notes

onceuponarrow · 6 years

Text

So I’ve got some thoughts on last nights Arrow ep. Some of those thoughts correlate with some feelings I’ve had for a while now and I need to get them out and share them. This post is really over my thoughts on how various members were added to the team and why I thought their addition helped or hurt.

First off, I am so happy we got Delicity and OTA scenes last night. I have missed these scenes so much. Felicity and John especially have continuously had their wonderful relationship sidelined and derailed since mid-season 3. But I love their relationship so much and I need them talking to each other again. I need them sharing advice and opinions. I need them talking to each other, not just at each other in the midst of whatever crisis is currently happening. Along those same lines, Original Team Arrow! These 3 are the reason why I got so invested in the show and their relationship with each other is the only reason I’m still hanging on and trying to continue to enjoy the show. Oliver and Dig’s budding partnership and then friendship is what initially kept my interest in the show. (That and anxiously waiting for the 5 minutes Felicity was in an ep.) Then Felicity got added all the way in to Team Arrow and I was sold on the show. I loved the dynamic the 3 had and still have with each other.

Sara’s introduction to the team was alright. I wasn’t crazy about it and thought she was a terrible influence on Oliver both in the present and in the past. That’s my interpretation of her character during season 2 which I know is not shared by many. But she was constantly in his ear pushing him to kill people. She was the one consistently telling Oliver to kill Slade in the flashbacks (unless I’m totally mis-remembering). She was also very much kill all our problems solution pushing in the present. Which I understand, she’d spent the last what 4 years with the LoA, so it’s understandable that her violent tendencies were amplified. But you know what, she understood herself, she understood where she was emotionally and ultimately made a decision she felt was best for herself and for Oliver and returned to the LoA with Nyssa.

Roy’s introduction to the team felt more earned as well. He wanted to help the city and those who lived there. He was (mostly) willing to be trained and learn and improve his skills. When he was fully added at the beginning of S3 it seemed seamless. No one’s skills needed to be diminished to fit him in. He was still learning and earning his place. By the time he gave up his life to save Oliver from prison I had fully embraced him as a character and was actually sad to see him go. Additionally at this point Oliver was arrested. Oliver had started this whole team and was willing to take the fall for everyone. But John, Felicity, and Roy were not happy about that and didn’t think it was right that he take the fall alone. No way were they going to stand by as one person took the fall alone. They were all going to get out of it or all go down together. That is a real team built on trust and faith in each other. By the way I have to add this link to a vid that I love so much from that time in the show.

https://youtu.be/iHITUAbqiqM

Also in season 3 LL suited up. I’m not a fan of that character. I hated how she was added to the team. I hated her motivations for suiting up. I hated how Oliver had to “die” to bring her onto the team. I hated how John was sidelined from the field so she could be out in the field. John is a special forces soldier and he’s sitting in the bunker with Felicity while she’s out in the field to make her arc happen. Now I’ve never rewatched those first eps of 3B because I dislike them so much. But I remember being so pissed at her swinging from the helicopter stunt that seemed well out of any skill set she should have. I remember being incredibly pissed that she insisted on being in the field and I feel like one of the ops went wrong and a cop got shot as a result of her incompetence.

This is where my annoyance with how people getting added to the team began. To add LL, Oliver needed to be diminished, so they temporarily “killed” him. Dig and Roy should have been able to handle field situations on their own with Felicity as back-up in the lair. Once again John is a special forces soldier. Roy grew up in the Glades and was trained by Oliver and John for over a year now. But for reasons (plot) lets sideline an original character to make a comic character mask happen against all realistic sense. So began the sidelining of OTA (both as a unit and as individual characters) to make comic characters happen. I just feel like every time a new comic canon character is added, in some form or fashion, Felicity or John or Oliver or their relationships with each other are diminished or pushed to the side. And so began my reticence to ever really embrace a new character again.

Thea was the next character added on to the team. She is a whole ‘nother issue. She has never been a character I’ve particularly cared for, but she’s grown on me, finally. She was introduced as a whiny entitled brat in season 1. I totally understand her reasons for why she acted the way she did. But I didn’t connect with that or want to watch it. It is what it is. Which probably colored my perception of her sudden fighting skills she gained with Malcolm. I never bought it, still don’t frankly. But she’s grown on me and I enjoy her as Oliver’s sister now finally. I enjoy the wonderfully resilient and strong woman she has grown into. But I also won’t be sad to see her go if she takes off with Roy when he returns this season. That girl has had so much tragedy and heartbreak in her life, she needs her quiet happy ending. So for whatever reason I’ve never really connected with her character, but I’ve also never felt anyone was diminished or pushed out to add her to the team.

Curtis is up next. This is a character that I’ve had the opposite reaction to. While I grew to appreciate Roy and Thea, I’ve grown to resent Curtis’s presence on the show. I enjoyed Curtis’s introduction. I liked his relationship with Felicity, his child-like wonder at finding the lair and helping out superheros. I liked how he was complementary to Felicity’s skills. But now, now wow what a change I’ve had with regards to his character. So many times now I feel like instead of speaking in-sync with Felicity it has turned into speaking over her. Things that Felicity could have done without issue she now needs his help with or needs him to do it for her. But really the thing that bugs me the most (and this is totally on the writers) I absolutely resent that Felicity’s company has to be a joint venture with him. This is a genius, who built her own computer at age 7. Who graduated with a double masters from MIT at age 19. Who won numerous intellectual competitions. Who basically ran Queen Consolidated for Oliver and then ran Palmer Tech without issue. She can’t start a company on her own? Give me a fucking break. That’s not even mentioning the fact that he put tracking nanites in her pancakes last season, which he used 2 eps in a row to track her. (I know I just rewatched to verify). And now he is acting all offended because they spied on him digitally for like a day to look for a traitor to the team. Get out with that hypocrisy. You put nanites into someone’s body without permission and you are whining about being digitally tracked. So yeah, I’m done with him as a character. His being on the show is, in my opinion, hurting the story lines Felicity should be getting.

Evelyn and Rory I’m just briefly going to touch on. They were both there for such a short period of time. Evelyn’s story line irritated me because I felt she had been set up as a 17 year old high school student and no one ever brought up the fact that she should still be in school. No one encouraged her to figure out what to do with her life. I feel like her age as she was initially introduced was just ignored or forgotten. Rory was alright as a character, but I’m firmly on the no metas on team arrow team. He was way overpowered. He was basically immortal when wearing the rags so why anyone else should be out in the field risking their lives when he was on the team made no sense.

Rene, oh this is a character I dislike, possibly even more than LL. Now some personal info first. I have 3 adopted cousins. Two were abused children who were put into foster care and then adopted by my cousins. Another was born to a drug addicted mother and was initially in a foster home that kept her drugged to keep her quiet before ending up with my cousins. I have very strong feelings about foster care. So when I say that Rene initially wanting nothing to do with Zoe and wanting her in foster care. Well he lost me there. And I can’t ever see myself liking him on that basis alone. That is not even touching on the fact that I find him rude and disrespectful. That comment last night about not liking how Felicity is talking to him? He has repeatedly ignored her asking him to stop calling her Blondie. Now I get the situations are totally different now than in season 3 and there are children involved but Rene was pretty damn quick to throw Oliver to the feds to save his own ass. He never let anyone know what was happening. Then he had the gall to make that beautiful speech about Oliver and Felicity when he would be testifying against Oliver soon enough. He brings nothing to the team. He is a body with a gun and that is it. No special skills, nothing that couldn’t be replaced with just about anyone else. I want him gone forever from the team. It especially irks me that he is supposedly doing all this to regain custody of Zoe. Yet he is still putting himself in harms way every day going out into the field when it has repeatedly been said there is no one else for Zoe to go to, no extended family. So what the hell is going to happen to her if he is killed?

Dinah, she’s tricky. I’ve really not had strong feelings one way or the other about her. As a character she never particularly bothered me one way or the other, she was just there. I’m not a fan of the meta ability like I said before. I’m firmly on the leave the metas on the other shows in the arrowverse team. I will say I mildly resented how she got an apartment shown within a season of being on the show when it took til season 3 to see Felicity’s. I resent that she quickly got a job as a police lieutenant when Felicity has been jobless for almost 2 seasons now. I resented that scene she had with Oliver in Russia last season. That felt entirely unearned, they’d known each other for less than a month. I resented all the scenes she’s had with Dig last season and this season. Because here we go again. One of my reasons for watching, Dig and Felicity’s friendship, is being ignored and sidelined because of the need to add in a comic cannon character. So her hanging out with Vigilante, who was trying to kill Oliver last season, and keeping him a secret from the team yeah that cemented my mild dislike for her character.

In all I find that the addition of all these comic character masks diminished the team in general. I miss the early fight scenes with Oliver kicking ass alone or with Dig. They were enjoyable to watch and frankly seemed more physical. Now they are big wide shots to then zoom in multiple times to give everyone’s stunt double their 5 second fight scene. Now Oliver always needs everyone in the field with him all the time for optics.

Are some of my complaints emotional and not logical? Absolutely! I don’t watch shows where I don’t emotionally connect with characters. So when I emotionally react to what I perceive as characters I love being changed or sidelined to push characters to the forefront that I don’t care about I’m going to get upset. And being constantly upset leads me to resent those characters even more.

In general I feel that the addition of all these characters has diminished the quality of the story I could be getting. Arrow has had some wonderful character growth and character based episodes. They’ve also had some horrible episodes where characters have acted well out of established character in order to move plot or cause drama. I don’t know. I just feel like some of the shows that I have loved the best have had small casts and spent time developing and highlighting the relationships between those characters.

So in conclusion I just wanted to get all those thoughts out of my head. I really want Curtis and Rene gone forever and I’m leaning that way with Dinah as well. I’m not looking forward to the manufactured drama that is going to be needed to inevitably bring the newbies back on to the team. I cringe at the thought of who (if not all) of my loves (OTA) will need to be diminished to justify needing the newbies permanently. But I am looking forward to hopefully many wonderful scenes with Felicity and Dig and OTA in general. Those 3 in any combination are magical. My love for them as individual characters and as a found family is why I continue to hang on and watch. Because as much as the show drives me crazy and irritates me at times, they then turn around and throw me an emotionally satisfying scene or episode and I’m happy again.

I haven’t been on much over the hiatus but tagging a few people who might be interested. @almondblossomme @hope-for-olicity @nalla-madness @wildirish23

#arrow thoughts #arrow reactions #arrow spoilers

52 notes · View notes

rinnnyxr · 3 years

Text

About my day | Bold what is also true for you :

I’m fond of:

Cats. Weed. New experiences. Getting to know people I have things in common with. Aliens. Horror films. Surveys. Mythology. Nature. The beach. The X-Files. Conspiracy theories. Documentaries. History. Reading. Clothes. Taking walks. Tattoos. Quadding/four-wheeling. Classic rock. Straight-forward people. Metal. Poetry. The Sims.

I’m not fond of:

Extremists. Closed-minded people. Cheese. People who judge or worry about the decisions/opinions of others. Disrespect/ignorance. The media. Cleaning. Romantic comedies. Bugs. ‘Reality’ TV shows. Technology taking over *every* aspect of life. Overdramatic people. Today’s music. Cliches. People who hold certain sentiments simply because the mass majority feels that way. Facebook. Self-righteousness. Being stared at. The US government system. Being condescended to. Being ignored. Beer. Snow/ice. Feeling trapped in my own head.

I enjoy eating/drinking:

Steak. Shrimp. Pizza. Pringles. Ben & Jerry’s. Rice. Potatoes. Bagels. Fruit. Skor bars. Aloe Vera drinks. Bolthouses. Water. Chicken. Salads. Omelets. Zucchini. Dark Russet chips. Hot chocolate.

I like to watch:

The X-Files. Law & Order: SVU. The Twilight Zone. American Horror Story. Married With Children. Twin Peaks. King Of The Hill. Nightmare Next Door. Wicked Attraction. Roseanne. That 70’s Show. Freaks & Geeks. Breaking Bad. Charmed. Family Guy. The Wonder Years.

I would describe myself as:

Laid back. Accepting. Indifferent. Realistic. Ill-tempered. Sarcastic. Blunt. Introverted. Witty. Good-natured. Understanding. Open-minded. Anxious. Headstrong. Honest. Lazy. Moody/Neurotic. Wise. Thick-skinned. Logical. Aloof. Impartial. Cynical. Humorous. Indecisive. Intuitive. Loyal. Modest. Brooding.

I’ve experienced:

A hangover. A really bad break-up. Smoking weed. Doing drugs other than weed. Being in a fist fight. Having my own house. Being on a plane. Smoking a cigarette. Sexual assault/abuse. A pregnancy. Being kicked out of my parent’s house. Hitchhiking. Shooting a gun. Physical abuse. Being hospitalized. An abusive relationship. Watching someone die. Seeing someone stabbed and/or shot. Being robbed. Competing in some sort of competition. Being in love. Gambling in a casino. A surgery of some sort.

Little things I love:

Forehead kisses. Comfortable silences. Warm blankets fresh out of the dryer. Doing something unexpected that wasn’t asked of you. Getting mail. When my kitties snuggle with me. Warm pavement on bare feet. Perfect cereal to milk ratio. Buying the last of something. Fast moving lines. Friendly cashiers. Taking the back roads. Driving on the highway during sunset. Coming across that song on your iPod that you love and haven’t heard in a while. Smiling at strangers. When you come home after a long day and realize it was grocery day. When all of your electronics have a full charge. The fact that mom always seems to have everything I need in her purse. When the last bite of food tastes better than all the rest. Happy tears. That look you give your best friend and then you both burst out laughing. Knowing when your favorite artist is releasing a new album. The atmosphere in a movie theater during a really funny film. When the whole crowd is singing at a concert. Intense eye contact that gives you goosebumps. The feeling that country music gives me. Finding the right words to say. People with beautiful souls. That moment when you realize you finally made it. Finding the perfect thing to wear. When you put zero effort into your appearance and someone compliments you. That feeling of letting go. Pleasant wake up calls. Knowing you made someone’s day a little better. The cold side of the pillow. Spotting the person you’re looking for in a big crowd. Taking off your bra after a long day. When you can taste food again after a cold. Christmas morning. Bloopers. Exact change. Finally remembering what I was going to say. New episodes of your favorite show. Multiple choice exams. Smiling in the middle of a kiss. Not having a to do list. Head massages.

Millennial Things | bold what you do

Binging Netflix a lot Always Snapchatting everything

Struggling with Instagram captions Always having to delete stuff because of full storage

Eating out at a place you discovered on Instagram Used iPods/MP3 players to listen to music Wanted a flip phone before iPhones were invented Can’t help but post everything on social media

Have/had/want acrylic nails

Always looking at the phone Use a bunch of hashtags

Have tattoos or piercings

Shop online Eat a lot of avocado/avocado food

Closet is full of unnecessary clothes Get your food delivered

Love drinking coffee

Use public transport a lot Eat a lot of takeout food Buy clothes or things you don’t necessarily need Work out/go to the gym/want to be fit

Focus on self-love

Have at least one entertainment site subscription

Love traveling/traveled overseas recently Spend too much money

Gen Z

Spend most of your time online Procrastinate 24/7 Consume too much tv/media content Know a lot about technology

Aware and accepting of diversity Binge Netflix Enjoy creating things Share a lot on social media

Prefer to do things digitally Grew up in a digital world Talk to friends online more than in person Have met a lot of new people online

Prefer digital books to hard copy

Career-focused Prefer online shopping over physical

Interested in things like fashion, beauty, and health

Watch a lot of YouTubers Aware of world issues and want to help

Eat a lot of fast food People your age are Insta “baddies” and “influencers” Want diversity

Bold all the things you've done:

You pile the food you don't like into a corner on your plate. And sometimes hide it in a napkin so nobody notices. You're a pro at moving food around your plate so it ~looks~ like you've eaten more than you really did. You fold your plate at family parties so nobody gets offended that you didn't like it. You've become a pro at sneaking to the trash can without anyone noticing, too. You always cut the crust off your sandwiches. You pick everything but the pepperoni off of combo pizzas. ...And sometimes even the pepperoni, too. You ALWAYS check the menu before you go to a restaurant. You check the menu again on the ride there, just to be safe. You have that one meal that's always your go-to. And you've had it so many times you got tired of it and had to find a new ~safe meal~. You prefer the food on the kid's menu to the regular menu. Chicken tenders and fries are your best friend. Buttered noodles, too. You can spot the food you don't like in any meal, no matter how little of it there is. Picking the food you don't like off your meal isn't enough, because the taste lingers. You hate it when your food touches, period. Your food and drink orders are always complicated. You have that one food you'll NEVER try because you just know you'll hate it. Picking pizza toppings with your friends is always a struggle. Your friends ask a million questions before you come over to eat for the first time. You're 100% not a fan of anything slimy in texture. Your best friends and family have a running list of the foods you hate. They get REALLY excited when you try something new and like it. Or when you try something you used to hate and end up liking it. When you find a new food you like, it's just about all you eat for a while. You always have your own snacks on hand, just in case. You have a ~picky eater speech~ memorized at this point for whenever people ask why you won't eat something. You've claimed to be allergic to something so you don't have to say you're just picky. Total: 9

0-9: Not picky

10-19: Kinda picky

20-30: Definitely a picky eater

0 notes

fuckyeslilkim · 7 years

Photo

Throwback Interview: The Mask Of Lil’ Kim

In a nondescript warehouse in Manhattan's Chelsea district, the rapper Lil' Kim is being primed for yet another fashion shoot. The theme of the day is baby-doll innocence, and the 4-foot-11 celebrity is appropriately undressed in a sheer blue and pink negligee and high-heeled sandals. With the final touches of turquoise eye shadow, pink lips and, of course, her trademark blond wig and blue contact lenses in place, the picture is complete. Sex symbol. Feminist icon. Freak mama.

Change the circumstances only slightly and you could imagine a porn shoot happening in this warehouse. The final products--the photographs that will sell Kim's raunchy lyrics and persona to the world--often come close to that. A full-page advertisement for her new album, "The Notorious K.I.M.," shows the star in the back seat of a limousine, naked except for black spike-heel boots and a safari-style hat. It's like the kind of pinup men find useful in prison cells and toilets.

But nobody seems bothered by the actual work of this shoot--least of all Kim, who patiently strips down. Quite the contrary: She considers herself a good role model--an empowered, independent woman in the highly misogynistic world of rap. Her fans include many young women who find in her an enviable example of personal strength.

To cash in on the marketing moment, corporate America has come running, showering her with endorsement offers--from Candie's shoes to Viva Glam lipstick. She earns cover treatments from mainstream and edgy magazines alike: The Source, XXXL, Vibe, Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Jet, Interview (on which she appeared wearing nothing but head-to-toe Louis Vuitton body tattoos). And now, Atlantic Records has provided the 25-year-old with her own label, Queen Bee.

From the moment she was discovered by rapper Christopher Wallace (a k a Notorious B.I.G., a k a Biggie Smalls) as a round-the-way girl roaming the streets of Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood, Kimberly Jones has set new standards for female rappers. Her 1996 solo debut, "Hardcore," made the highest-ever debut on the Billboard charts for a female rap artist. An unparalleled fusion of hip-hop and pornography, the album opens with a scene in which we hear a fan buy a ticket to a triple-X flick, and then loudly pleasure himself while watching Kim onscreen.

At last year's MTV Music Awards, her outfit spawned a media frenzy fueled by the shocked response of presenter Diana Ross, who reached out and jiggled Kim's exposed breast on national television. (Ross later offered a public apology, noting that she thought Kim "was beautiful and . . . didn't need to dress in that manner.") The incident solidified Kim's image of sexual fearlessness--and her career as a fashion trendsetter.

We've seen so much of her, and yet nothing at all. Who is Lil' Kim, really?

Talking to her, you're taken by any number of contradictions. She considers herself a devoted child of God, for example. "I'm not perfect," she explains. "I mess up. I'm not Miss Sanctified, but I believe in my Father. We have a really good relationship."

She has allowed powerful men to shape and exploit her sexpot image, but touts her own brand of feminism. "If you look at me, no man has really given me anything," she contends. "I got my own money."

She raps about the joys of fellatio, but likens herself to Queen Elizabeth, the so-called Virgin Queen of England. ("I watch that movie over and over again," she says.) Like Elizabeth, she has had an unhappy love life. "I had a lot of guys betray me," Kim says, "and she reminds me of myself because, toward the end, she really wanted a man. She was lonely. She didn't wanna be this strong woman that everybody portrayed her to be, but she had to be."

On one point the star is adamant: Lil' Kim is not Kimberly Jones.

Except: "Most of the things that I talk about [in my lyrics], yeah, they're true." In the song "Hold On," for example, "I talk about the pain of being pregnant and having an abortion."

"I talk about the things that women have gone through that they don't think I've gone through," she says. "Like fightin' with your man or losin' a man to death. Being alone. I talk about just bein' in the streets having no money and having to do illegal things to get the money."

All of which happened, too.

So, after one spends many hours with both Lil' Kim the rapper and Kimberly Jones the woman, the similarities between the two become as apparent as the differences. "We wear the mask that grins and lies," wrote Paul Laurence Dunbar, "with torn and bleeding hearts we smile."

It is not easy to remove the mask of Lil' Kim, which she wears as a brilliant defense against full disclosure. She doesn't want to show us all of the damage that lies underneath. Like many other black women, she has become so good at conjuring the mask--signifying at a moment's notice, for hire--that we no longer know where it ends. Or where Kimberly Jones begins.

In the June issue of Vibe magazine, there is a photograph of young Kim dressed in a neat school uniform: plaid dress, white blouse, knee socks. She is brown-skinned, with brown eyes and nappy hair, neatly pulled into a bun. She sits like a proper schoolgirl with her hands folded in her lap and legs crossed at the ankles, smiling and polite.

But inside, she feels ugly. She thinks of herself as too dark and too short. She has just moved to an all-white neighborhood in suburban New Rochelle, N.Y., where little blond girls tease her and confirm her monstrosity.

Her mother, Ruby Mae Jones, brought her to live there, at age 8, fleeing the ruins of a marriage. But Kim wants to go back to Brooklyn. She wants to go home, to her old neighborhood where little girls look like her. Even if it means going back to the home of her father, Linwood Jones, a former military man who enforced a brutal discipline on wife and children.

"There was a great deal of verbal abuse," she recalls. "And there was times . . . when my mother had black eyes. My father told people she had fallen."

Linwood Jones could not be reached for comment, and there is no record of his having spoken publicly about his daughter's career or her allegations of physical abuse. According to Kim, he did comment privately on her overtly sexual image, asking that she "tone it down."

After her parents' separation in 1983, Kim's life became increasingly unstable. At first she and older brother Christopher stayed with their mother, who relied on the kindness of friends for shelter--including the time spent in New Rochelle. But when options ran out, Ruby Mae Jones granted custody of her children to her husband.

"I was basically living out of the trunk of my car," Kim's mother explains over a posh dinner in a New York restaurant--a contrast made all the more striking by her fur coat and her gold-and-diamond-spangled hands. "And I didn't feel it was appropriate for [the children]. So I let Kim go to live with her father."

When he was away--sometimes for weeks, for reserve duty--the children were deposited with an aunt who was raising several sons of her own. "I grew up around . . . maybe eight guys in my family," says Kim. "I stayed with my cousins when my father went away. They lived in the projects."

"Kim had no sisters," adds Ruby Mae Jones. "She was surrounded by boys all the time. But she had such a strong personality, I never had to worry about her taking care of herself. I knew that she would be able to do that. From when she was like 2."

Despite the frequent absences, father and daughter remained on good terms during Kim's prepubescent years.

"We were very close," she recalls, "until I was about 13." Which is when Kim committed an egregious offense in her father's eyes: She liked a boy and agreed to be his girlfriend. Although the circumstances seemed innocent enough by Kim's account--the boy was 15, a schoolmate--Linwood Jones was outraged. Kim says he called her a bitch and a whore, "just like your mother."

The words had a devastating effect. "If he hadn't said what he said to me," speculates Kim, allowing the idea to play in her head for a moment, "I probably would have stayed a virgin until I was 21. But after that I rebelled."

Fights between father and daughter became more frequent--and violent, she says. On at least one occasion, Kim remembers, her morning wake-up call was a fist crashing into her face. At the age of 14, she packed a bag and hit the streets, wandering in and out of neighbors' homes. Lil' Kim has often described her life during those years as a procession of doing "whatever I had to do to survive."

She peddled drugs for boyfriends. Worked odd jobs in department stores. And had sex with the men who housed and fed her. By the time she met up-and-coming rapper Biggie Smalls at the age of 17, Kim was, by her own admission, desperately in need of protection.

Biggie, who at age 19 was a 6-foot-3, 300-pound drug dealer who had already done nine months in jail, signed on for the job--bringing Kim into the fold of what everyone called the "B.I.G. family." There was Sean "Puffy" Combs, who had been working day and night to launch Biggie on his emerging label, Bad Boy Entertainment; Mary J. Blige, whose success as an R&B artist had also been strongly influenced by Puffy's hand; Damion "D-Roc" Butler, Biggie's friend and security guard; and "the boys"--James "Lil' Caesar" Lloyd, Antoine "Banga" Spain, and Money-L, who would later become members of Junior M.A.F.I.A. (Masters at Finding Intelligent Attitudes), a rap group Biggie hoped to launch on the momentum of his own success.

"She came from the streets," says 22-year-old Spain, who lives today, along with several of the other "boys," in Kim's New Jersey mansion. "I could relate to her 'cause my mom sent me to the city when I was, like, 13."

It was at Wallace's behest that Kimberly Jones assumed the role of Lil' Kim--a vulgar-mouthed emblem of what had been dubbed "porno rap." Following Biggie's lead, the young protege exploded onto the hip-hop scene as the lone female member of Junior M.A.F.I.A. at the age of 20.

Almost immediately, Kim became the showcase of the act. They were like "peanut butter and jelly," says Voletta Wallace, Biggie's mother. "Kim and Christopher were the same voice."

And that voice was determined to push the limits of gangsta rap, a genre whose biggest selling points were unabashed violence and uncensored sex.

By the mid-1990s Biggie Smalls and his crew were at the top of their game. Biggie's second album, "Life After Death," would eventually sell eight times platinum, and with the release of her 1995 solo debut, "Hardcore," Kim arrived in her own right. But the good times were not to last. Kim loved Biggie and hoped to be his wife, but he married and then quickly separated from R&B artist Faith Evans (who would also become the mother of his son, Christopher). There were rumors that Evans had been having an affair with rapper and longtime Biggie rival Tupac Shakur. One Biggie music video co-starred Kim as the defiant and loyal mistress.

Amid the lovers' quarrels and sexual betrayals, tragedy struck in the early hours of March 9, 1997. Following a Soul Train Music Awards party in Los Angeles, a still-unknown killer approached the passenger side of Biggie's GMC Suburban and unloaded seven rounds into the rapper's head and body at close range. Both Lil' Caesar and Damion Butler were unharmed as they ducked down in the back seat. Puffy, who was driving his own Suburban in front of the target vehicle, rushed to Biggie's side reciting psalms. But Christopher Wallace was dead at age 24.

Since the loss of her mentor, Kim's allegiance has remained eerily well preserved. In the immediate aftermath, she and the Junior M.A.F.I.A. boys stayed in Big's New Jersey condominium--where, according to Kim, she shared her slain lover's bedroom with her would-be mother-in-law, Voletta Wallace, and T'yanna, Biggie's daughter from a previous relationship.

In an article for People magazine, a mourning Kim posed for the camera draped in Biggie's shirt, coat and hat. Even today, more than three years after his death, she often refers to her "big poppa" in conversation and lyrics, and even credits the rapper as a posthumous producer on her new album. The bond seems unhealthy, as even Kim's friend Blige noted in an interview: a "kind of co-dependency with someone who just isn't here anymore."

It took Kim four years to release her second album, which had been held up due to conflicts with her label, the theft of material by bootleggers and her own creative process. Meanwhile, Kim's marketing machine hummed along, patiently building her image despite a lack of new releases.

"She's brilliant," says Michael Elliot, president of Source Entertainment. "I mean, here's a woman who [hadn't] had an album out in years and she's a presenter at award shows, and a successful model. She's found a way to market herself and, at the end of the day, she's a businesswoman."

"I think she's a feminist in a funny sort of way," says John Dempsey, president of MAC cosmetics, one of many packagers that hold up the Kim image as a bold new form of sexual expression. "She speaks like a man would speak."

Her fans agree. "She doesn't care what anybody has to say," says 19-year-old Teena Marie Schexnayder, a Los Angeles psychology student and aspiring singer. "She's a bad girl . . . doing whatever she has to do to survive. She's deep. I love the stuff she talks about."

While '80s female rappers like Queen Latifah and MC Lyte embraced "womanist" images, combining ancestral and gender consciousness, Kim provides a very different social commentary for young black women and men. The message behind Lil' Kim is, in fact, heartbreakingly feeble.

Sex, she believes, is a commodity. It is a way for a woman to earn money--and, in her view, respect. She learned that lesson on the streets. As for the women selling their bodies, "I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Money is power," says Kim, and "a lot of women out there are just givin' it away." Kim aims to change that. As she raps in her new single "Diamonds" (sung to the tune of Diana Ross's "I Want Muscle"):

"She says she wants a man / To buy her a Lexus Land/ Well that's all right for her / Still it ain't enough for me / I don't care if he's young or old / Just make him very rich / I want diamonds / This p---- ain't for free."

Is this really feminism?

"I'm a feminist because I love women," she ventures, graciously asking her interviewer to correct her if she misunderstands the term. "And I feel like, in this rapping game, men have been bashing women for years. But some women overemphasize that feminism word. And some of them are very male-bashing. I'm not a male basher."

In her collection of images titled "Women," photographer Annie Leibovitz captures something of the inner sorrow of Kimberly Jones, a black girl who covets blue eyes and blond hair. Juxtaposed with the image of a gloriously dreadlocked Toni Morrison, who is seen looking into a wide expanse of clouds and possibility, Kim appears small and helpless against a wall of color that threatens to engulf her--her nipples visible beneath a trashy net T-shirt. In this image, we see more of Kimberly Jones than Lil' Kim: the real woman who has masked private suffering as public defiance.

"She's just like every little abused girl that I knew growing up," asserts Asha Bandele, a poet, author and critic who is attuned to hip-hop culture. "I do not believe that Kim is in control of her image because there's nothing powerful about it, nothing rounded, nothing human. It's a caricature. Just like when you see a male presenting himself as only a gangsta. . . . We're so much more complicated than that."

But if it is icon status we're shooting for, Kimberly Jones is the real deal. Closer in spirit to Monroe than Madonna, she is a genuine enigma, which is precisely why she intrigues us. The same little girl who remembers jumping into the middle of a fight between her father and older brother (taking a chair across her stomach in the process) became the grown-up Lil' Kim, who prefers "big poppa" lovers because daddies "don't let nothin' happen to their baby girl."

"Kim needs to ask herself what she's selling," says Voletta Wallace in her Jamaican-accented, no-nonsense way. "When my son was here, that's all you would hear: Kim and Christopher [saying], 'Sex sells, sex sells.'

"But . . . when you look at Kim, the strength is there. The beauty is there. The talent is there. And she needs to let [the world] know . . . they need to see a human being. She needs to find her inner self and see what she has to offer."

At the Gazelle Beauty Center and Day Spa in Manhattan, I have requested a private room in which to interview Kim. I am trying to get closer to the real woman, to get behind the mask. But it is a busy day and there are constant interruptions from other clients (who include guests on "The Montel Williams Show"). Nevertheless, Kim and I enjoy a lunch of Caesar salads, as well as joint manicures, pedicures, massages and facials.

We are two sisters drinking herbal tea now, and Kim is relaxed, makeup-less and wearing a cozy white robe and paper slippers.

Unanswered questions have been nagging at me. Kim is like so many other women, it seems to me, who have grown up with trauma. And yet there is no talk of the long-term effects. I decide to put the question of sexual abuse to her plainly. She tells me that yes, something did happen in the home of a relative when she was a girl, but she doesn't want to get into the details. She has never talked about this before. She doesn't want to dwell on the pain. I am saddened by her admission, and the fact that so many years later, she is still so clearly devastated.

And I am saddened that even here, in a place for relaxation and nurturing, she is unable to divest herself, even for a few hours, of the blue contact lenses and blond wig.

"Think about it," she confesses when I ask her to talk about her experience of skin color. "The girls that [men] dated when I was younger were light-skinned and tall. I'm short and brown-skinned. And I always wondered . . . how do I fit in?"

Did she ever overcome the feeling of being ugly?

"I really haven't," she admits. "Honestly, though, I think being Lil' Kim the rapper helped me deal with it better. Because I got to dress up in expensive clothes, and I got to look like a movie star or whatever. I think doing photo shoots and seeing all the people respond to me has helped. [But] I still don't see what they see."

can't help but think of Kim as standing on a precipice, making a great leap toward transformation. In recent years, she has expressed a desire to tone down the raunch and express more of "who I really am." There are rumors that she was wary about spreading her legs for the photo shoot for "Hardcore," and she herself has said she would have rather done four sexual songs instead of seven. "You get tired of certain images," she explains.

So what's stopping Lil' Kim from showing us more of Kimberly Jones? "It's hard," she says. "Because in our world, the rap world, you have this thing called selling out. You don't want people who liked you for doing a certain thing on your first album to not like you for not doing it on the second album. So I have to stay in that realm."

Yes, there are market forces pushing her to stay in the same place, but the market is also a fickle lover and people tire of what is too easy to predict. "Notorious K.I.M." started out at No. 4 on the Billboard album chart, but has slipped to No. 35.

"How much more of her body can she show?" asks Ramon Hervey, manager for R&B artist Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds. "From Madonna to Prince, everybody has to re-create themselves at some point."

"I see the strength in her," Mary J. Blige says of her friend. "All she's gotta do is let go of the fear."

Source: The Washington Post

#A must read #lil kim #lil' kim #rap #rapper #hiphop #hip hop #female rap #female rapper #washington post #queen bee #queen of rap #fashion #real life #interview

310 notes · View notes

thisdaynews · 4 years

Text

Emiliano Sala: A year on from plane crash, his family speak of 'pain that will never go away'

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/emiliano-sala-a-year-on-from-plane-crash-his-family-speak-of-pain-that-will-never-go-away/

Emiliano Sala: A year on from plane crash, his family speak of 'pain that will never go away'

Sala’s first football club was San Martin, in the small town where he grew up – Progreso

On a typical Saturday afternoon in Progreso, the streets seem completely deserted. As the summer sun blazes outside, most of its 2,000 inhabitants are sheltering indoors.

The only human presence is at San Martin football club, where a family is celebrating a baptism. It is the same place where the town mourned its most illustrious son, Emiliano Sala.

Located in Argentina’s agricultural heart, six hours’ drive from Buenos Aires, Progreso sadly became better known in the tragic story of Cardiff’s record signing, who died in a plane crash in January 2019. When his casket arrived back home, those empty streets held more people than they had ever seen before.

A year later, the pain is still palpable. BBC Sport visited between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve, a time of reflection for most of the town. Here, Sala was not only a football star. He was El Emi, the kid everybody knew. He was a friend, a neighbour, a former pupil, a former team-mate.

For his mother, Mercedes, and his 24-year-old brother, Dario, it is not easy to speak about what happened.

Mercedes says she takes comfort from the many messages of support her family has received

When Dario opens the door of their home, Mercedes is sitting in the dining room. “Thanks for coming, it means a lot to pay homage to my son,” she says as she instantly offers a glass of water.

A smiling picture of Emiliano, Dario and sister Romina lights up the room. Sala’s father Horacio also died last year. He suffered a heart attack at the age of 58 in April, three months after his son’s death. He and Mercedes did not live together.

“When Emi was 15, he sat in the kitchen at our old house and told me: ‘Mummy, I want to be a football player’. He wanted that so much, and to pursue that dream he had to move to San Francisco, in Cordoba province,” says Mercedes.

“He was just a boy, and it was so difficult to see him leave, but he was so resolute, so convinced that he would make it. It was his dream, and he did make it. He loved football. And now he was so excited to play in the Premier League.”

Sala, who was 28 when he died, was on his way to join Cardiff City, following a £15m transfer from French side Nantes, when the plane he was travelling in crashed. He had signed for the Welsh club two days before. Cardiff and Nantes have since been in dispute over transfer payments. Sala’s body was recovered from the wreckage in the English Channel, but pilot David Ibbotson has still not been found.

The Nantes supporters loved Sala, who moved there in 2015. Some have come to visit Progreso since his death. Even his hairdresser travelled across the Atlantic Ocean to see where he lived and meet his family.

Mercedes’ living room is now home to many of the gifts her son received during his three and a half seasons at Nantes. Collecting and sorting his belongings was another of the very painful experiences the family had to endure last year.

“Every year I’d go to France in October for his birthday, and I’d stay with him for a month,” says Mercedes. “The first week was always a celebration of the food he loved. In my luggage, I would pack the ready-made pastry circles to make empanadas, and also breadcrumbs for Milanesas, because the ones in France were different.

“‘Mummy, please make all the dishes I love,’ he would tell me. I’d also make homemade pasta. But after this one week he’d quickly switch back to his football diet, with lots of fish, because he was so focused on being fit. He was a hard worker. On top of training for the club, he also had a personal trainer and set up a gym in his house.”

After home matches, supporters would gather, waiting for his car to go past on the way out of the stadium.

“He was shy, but he would always stop, open the windows and start signing autographs and taking selfies,” Mercedes says.

“All those fans, today, are the ones that I want to thank, because they are still sending me pictures I had never seen before.

“I receive so much stuff from France, from England, from the rest of Argentina.”

Dario says: “It was beautiful to see how much the people loved him. I remember when he was in talks to renew his contract and people would just ask him to stay.”

Cardiff City announced Sala’s signing on 19 January 2019 – for a club record £15m

Sala was looking forward to his move to the Premier League and he dreamed of getting a call-up to represent Argentina.

In November 2017, he was Argentina’s most prolific striker behind Lionel Messi. His brother Dario, and many people from Progreso, still cherish the image captured from TV: Messi had scored a goal every 95 minutes; Sala every 98.

A photo depicting France and Paris St-Germain striker Kylian Mbappe, the man who ended Argentina’s chances at World Cup 2018, going to hug him is still treasured. Sala was so shy he would hardly ask for a jersey swap.

“We’d talk a lot about the national team, as two fans do,” says Dario. “He knew it was very difficult to be part of the squad, with the calibre of the strikers that we have. But I’m sure he never lost hope, not my brother. He wanted to be a footballer and he’d achieved it. He wanted to play in the top flight and he made it. He wanted to go to the Premier League and he’d just achieved it.

“Playing for Argentina was the natural desire. We would imagine him scoring after getting a pass from Messi, for instance. Who wouldn’t?”

Growing up, Sala admired Gabriel Batistuta and Carlos Tevez. He was a fan of Independiente, because of his friend Colito’s influence.

Dario says: “I’m five years younger than him, so growing up I would always end up going in goal and he’d get all the shots.

“We didn’t have many of the things that other kids might have had, but thanks to my mum we never had a meal missing from our table. That’s where we come from. From sacrifice. And we are all very alike. Emi was the oldest of the three and he was shy.”

Mercedes says: “It’s still so fresh. I can still see them playing outside. I would have to call them in to have dinner or take a shower. There were no toys for them, just football.

“He didn’t see himself as famous or anything, that’s why when he came back to the town. He was just an ordinary citizen… and what a son he was.”

She starts crying.

“Do you know that we would talk two, sometimes three times a day? Every day? That was my son. He would tell me everything – the food he’d eaten, the things he’d done. Sometimes he’d complain about his performance, and perhaps he had scored a goal or made one, but he was always trying to progress.”

Dario adds: “We had a WhatsApp group, the four of us: mum, Emi, Romina and me. He’d speak to mum and if he couldn’t call me, he’d write at night saying that it was late in France and we’d speak the next afternoon. There was distance, but it was like we were all together. He’d ask me a lot about football, about the team, about his performances. It was a joy to be able to watch him live on TV, too. It wasn’t the case with some of the first clubs he played for.”

One year after leaving home for Cordoba, Sala made his first trip to Europe to have a trial with Bordeaux. He signed for them in 2010, a move made easier by him gaining Italian citizenship. Before his transfer to Nantes came in 2015, he had been loaned out to some smaller French sides: Orleans, Niort and Caen.

“He was completely focused on getting better,” Mercedes says. “He learned French, had become extremely fluent, and now he’d surely have been taking English courses.”

Mercedes’ home holds many gifts to her family from the football world

On the date of Sala’s birthday last year, a giant mural was unveiled at San Martin, where it all began. The club’s small stadium – which holds about 2,000 people – was also named after him.

“It’s a very nice mural, very realistic, and very touching, too,” Dario says. “I go often to the club and I take a moment to pass it.”

San Martin also play with Sala’s image on their black-and-red jerseys, while the regional league they compete in was renamed the Liga Emiliano Sala. For Mercedes, each homage and every gesture acts like a valve releasing something of the pain of losing her first son.

“As a mother, seeing all this love, all these messages, feeling the comfort of so many people, it is touching. But what can I say? I just want to have him here with me.”

Cardiff’s fans paid emotional tribute to Sala following news of his death

Two days before Sala’s plane crashed, Progreso had celebrated its traditional Fiesta del Queso – a cheese festival showcasing producers from the local area. The main square, Los Colonizadores, was filled with joy. Through the speakers it was announced that El Emi would move to the Premier League, becoming Cardiff’s record signing. It felt as the town itself had earned that distinction.

That same square would soon be overcrowded with TV vans, cameras, journalists from all over the world. After they left, the candles and prayers remained.

“I can’t say I found peace, unfortunately. I’m still fighting,” Mercedes says. She pauses for a long time.

“I am practically dead while living. It’s been a terrible, terrible year. I loved him so much. I would tell him every day,” she says in tears.

Sala’s funeral in Progreso was held at the football club, San Martin. His father Horacio is pictured here, next to his son’s coffin, with his hand to his face. Mercedes is to the far left of the image

Outside, three dogs are barking in the back yard. One of them is Nala, the five-year-old dog Sala had rescued as a puppy in France. She became famous for a picture in which she was seen waiting for her owner to come home.

“She knew us from all the times we’d been in France, but when she came here, she found all the stuff from Emi, and I’m convinced that she also recognised his smell,” Mercedes says. “We decided to take her to the wake, so she could also be with him.”

The family had a private wake before going to San Martin’s main hall for the public funeral in February last year. “There was a whole town wanting to say goodbye,” Mercedes says. “We understood it was the right thing to do.

“Since that call at six in the morning…” she sighs deeply. “It seems as if it was yesterday, and it’s already been one year. The pain is intact and it will never go away.”

#'pain #away'

0 notes

lewishamledger · 4 years

Text

Paris in London

Mica Paris will be starring in the panto version of Beauty & The Beast at the Broadway Theatre this winter. The singer, who grew up in Brockley, reflects on her multi-faceted career in showbiz

WORDS BY EMMA FINAMORE

Mica Paris is not one to rest on her laurels. The singer, actress, author and presenter left home at 15, and by 19 she had signed to Island Records, released her debut album So Good and was a household name with smash hit tracks like My One Temptation. Her knack for combining pop and soul with jazz leanings – like many new artists based in south London today – proved an instant hit.

Her debut album went platinum, and set the tone for her whole career, which saw her go on to work with the likes of disco legend Nile Rodgers, hip-hop heroes Eric B & Rakim, Boy George and Prince.

This Christmas Mica will be working much closer to home, near where she grew up in Brockley – treading the boards at Catford’s Broadway Theatre as she stars in its Beauty & The Beast pantomime.

It tells the story of Belle, who longs for romance and adventure, and a bad-mannered prince who is transformed into a beast to teach him a lesson. Mica plays the Good Fairy who swoops in to the rescue, making both their dreams come true.

Mica’s own fairytale began when she was a child. Her grandmother noticed her talent for performing when she was just four years old, as she sang along to the theme tune of kids’ TV show The Adventures of Rupert Bear.

When she moved from Islington to a big Victorian house in Brockley aged eight, her grandparents encouraged her to join the choir at their place of worship, the New Testament Church of God on Lee High Road. Her granddad was a minister there, and it was where she sang her first ever solo performance.

“I was the star of the church, you know?” Mica recalls, speaking from the back of a taxi in Belfast, where she’s en route to the theatre for makeup and costume before a matinee performance of Fame – the musical she’s been on the road with for the past year and a half.

“I remember looking down and seeing my white socks and shoes – we didn’t wear those shoes any other day than Sunday.”

As well as taking childhood friend Gabrielle with her to church – “She always wanted to come” – Mica’s household was a hotbed of talent. “My dad is the one with all the gifts really,” she says. “My aunts and uncles too – the house was full of music, whether it was ragtime or Mozart.”

One of Mica’s sisters, Paula, is also a singer, performing under the alias Alisha Warren in the 1980s and 90s. Dawn, the eldest, is an academic who’s just finished a PhD, while their cousin is none other than former world champion boxer, Chris Eubank.

Mica says this wealth of creativity and talent came from a work ethic that ran through her whole family. She was soon fully immersed in her grandparents’ church, performing there and at other places of worship, entering competitions and recording music. “There was choir practice, Bible study, I was winning awards all over the country,” she recalls. “There wasn’t any time to go out to play.”

By her mid teens she was performing regularly with the Spirit of Watts gospel choir and was ready to forge her own path.

While she says many of her friends in Brockley were planning on moving into their own flats and starting families, she had other plans: “I knew I didn’t want that, and I was ready to do my own thing.”

Mica made a demo with someone else at the church and it immediately garnered interest from record label executives. She moved into her own place in east London and was offered a deal by Island Records. “But I had to persuade my grandparents to sign the contract for me,” she laughs. “I was too young to legally do it myself!”

Even though she did manage to convince them, Mica says her grandparents were concerned that a career in the music industry was a pipe dream – and that “all people in music ended up dead or on drugs”.

That’s definitely not how her career went though. After seven studio albums, one compilation album, four EPs and 27 singles, Mica has also been honoured with the Gold Badge Award by the British Academy of Songwriters, Composers and Authors – for her contribution to the British entertainment industry.

Despite these successes, she says the main highlight of her musical career was showing her grandparents that she could be successful, and that there was another way you could have a life in music, rather than going off the rails.

“A year after I left home they were watching me on Top of the Pops,” she smiles. “I’ve lost lots of friends to that sort of thing [drink and drug issues] but I never went down that path. I think I could always feel my grandparents in the back of my mind.”

Of course, her story doesn’t stop with music. Mica has crossed over into radio too, hosting Soul Solutions on BBC Radio 2 – interviewing big names like Alicia Keys and Motown legend Martha Reeves – and narrating several music programmes for the station.

She’s presented documentaries – like Channel 4’s The Gospel of Gospel, exploring the influence of the black American church tradition on pop music – and has acted and contributed to panels on various TV shows (look out for her in ITV’s Marple, playing an American jazz singer performing with Louis Armstrong’s band).

This summer she’s been making more programmes for Radio 2, called Mica Meets, interviewing artists like Sister Sledge and Gladys Knight (of The Pips).

“I think they open up to me more than they would to someone else,” she says, of shifting between the role of artist and broadcast journalist. “Because I’ve been there, I know what it’s like.”

Mica has put this experience to good use through writing too, having published a book about finding confidence and happiness in your own skin. She’s planning another for next year, exploring the experience of women in music.

“I want to get their stories out there. Everyone talks about ‘this’ [glamour and showbiz] but no one talks about the other stuff.”

And it doesn’t stop there. Mica has also devoted much of her time to charity work. She’s supported causes ranging from youth homelessness, gender equality and anti-rape campaigns, to music venue renovation projects and the Amy Winehouse Foundation. She’s also worked with the Met Police on anti-gun campaigns, ever since her brother was tragically shot and killed in 2011.

It’s an impressive – and actually pretty humbling – CV. How has she made the crossover into so many other avenues? “People just asked and I said yes! My grandparents were such hard workers, grafters, and I have that too,” reflects Mica. “They were homeowners when no one else we knew owned their own home.

“I think I’ve got that from them – it’s often a mindset of immigrant families, they’re determined to always do better, and have a sort of fear of not working. It’s a working class thing – Michael Caine said that to me once, that he always wants to work, and I was like, ‘But you’re Michael Caine!’ But it’s not about just working all the time, it’s about what that work actually is – it has to inspire you.”

Aptly then, the conversation turns to her forthcoming career plans. Once her current Fame run finishes off in the West End, she then goes into rehearsals for Beauty & The Beast in Catford. What is she looking forward to most about the production, and being back in her old stomping ground?

“Mostly I’m looking forward to seeing people I haven’t seen for 30 years. And I’ve never done pantomime before,” she says. “I thought if I was going to do it I should do it at home. The audience won’t give me a hard time. And it’s always good to go home.”

0 notes

anodetomydemons-blog · 7 years

Text

50 Questions to ask a girl if you really want to know her.

1. What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?

Growing up in an abusive household

2. What’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak?

Feeling like I repeated my mothers mistakes by staying in an abusive relationship and not admitting it was abusive until after it ended.

3. Where is one place you feel most like yourself?

Wherever my sister or my best friend are

4. Where is your favorite place to escape to?

The beach at midnight

5. Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?

My parents, my sister and my grandmother

6. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

my weight

7. If you had one day left to live, what would you do first?

I’d sky dive above the Great Barrier Reef

8. What decade do you feel you most belong in?

The 90′s

9. Who are you closest to in your family? Why?

My sister, we’ve been through hell and back. She knows me better than most

10. Who is the one person in this world that knows you best?

My ex boyfriend

11. What is your favorite quality about your best friend?

Her ability to not give a fuck what anyone thinks and encourages me to do the same

12. When you were younger what did you think you were going to be when you grew up?

Real estate or a ballerina

13. If you could identify with one fictional character (from a book, show, or movie) who would it be?

Buffy the vampire slayer

14. Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments?

I enjoy compliments but I don’t easily accept them because I still overthink if they're genuine or push it away.

15. Is your favorite attribute about yourself physical or non-physical?

Non-physical

16. What is your favorite physical attribute about yourself?

My eyes

17. What is your favorite non-physical attribute about yourself?

My perseverance and strength

18. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe in fate but not love at first sight

19. Do you believe in soul mates?

I used to. I believe there are multiple out there for everyone to teach us lessons in life through romantic relationships whether it be for good or bad but not necessarily soul mates

20. How seriously do you take horoscopes?

I believe the times in which we are born can affect our attributes given that on some cellular level all humans are related and we will all hold similar and different personality traits, etc.

21. Have you ever been in love? How many times?

Yes, once was what I believed true love for a time because it was the first time and the second was not so much ‘in love’ as there was romantic love for that person.

22. What makes you fall in love with someone?

I think, when I learn about someone and see how they open up to me, how they’re willing to be vulnerable and trust me it creates a place in my heart that makes me want to do the same which is incredibly hard for me.

23. What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?

It means trusting someone, being open and scared of what trusting someone can do to your soul. Falling in love, trusting new people

24. What’s one thing you’re scared to ask a man, but really want to?

Am I worthy of love? Why wasn’t I good enough for him to love me anymore?

25. If you were a man for a day, what would be the first thing you do?

Probably masturbate and fuck multitude of women and men

26. What do you find most attractive about each sex?

I like the femininity of women, their curves and their smiles. I love the way a man smells with cologne, if he can take control and let loose as well.

27. What’s one thing you’d love to learn more about?

Beauty regimes, makeup etc.

28. What is something you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to do?

Be fearless in life and love. Let go of all my responsibilities and take off

29. Why haven’t you done it yet?

I have trust issues. I cant abandon the things that tie me to my life

30. If money didn’t matter, what would your dream job be?

I would review netflix tv shows or holiday destinations

31. If you had off from work today, what would you do?

Probably be sleeping or watch netflix

32. What was the last thing that made you cry?

I had a reading with a psychic and she ‘spoke’ to my Nan who told me that my rape was not my fault and that I need to let go of it to be happier within myself, to find love and be okay.

33. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

My best friend with something stupid

34. What is your favorite memory?

It’s a three-way tie but two of them are on a rainy Sunday.

My Grandmother and I used to sit there counting old coins out of this purple piggy bank. My mum and I going shopping after spending all day in bed watching movies while it rained. My ex boyfriend and I laid there, cuddling as we listened to the rain and it was the most I’ve ever felt love

35. What’s the last thing that REALLY embarrassed you?

I laughed so hard I farted as I fell off a chair while drunk as a skunk at my birthday party

36. What is your biggest fear?

Letting someone get close again and feeling my soul shatter when they leave

37. Do you have any regrets? What’s your biggest one?

Yes, not taking charge of certain situations when I should have

38. Have you ever broken a law? If you haven’t what is one law you’d love to break?

Yes, I stole when I was in my teens

39. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Vandalism

40. Would you have a conversation with a stranger?

Yes

41. Would you tell a stranger they have toilet paper hanging from their shoe? Or their dress tucked into their underwear? (Or anything else that is embarrassing to be seen in public)?

Yes, no one needs to get home or to work and realise everyone would’ve seen them and experience more embarrassment

42. What’s your favorite joke?

I dont have one

43. Are you a dog person or a cat person?

Definitely dogs

44. If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?

A snowy leapord or an otter

45. What’s one show, movie, or book, you’re embarrassed to admit you enjoy?

Twilight series

46. How do you think your parents would describe you as a child?

Talkative and bright then closed off

47. If you could go back to any age or time of your life, what age or time would it be?

I think it’d be when I was 16 and newly in love and everything seemed to be going okay for a time.

48. What’s something you believe in that not everyone else does?

I believe in spirits and ghosts, etc.

49. What’s one thing you would say that makes you unique from other people?

I have been through a lot of horrors in my life, I play them down sometimes like a weird form of being humble. Most of the stuff would’ve driven someone to a very dark place of drugs, self harm, etc. I’ve kept striving even though I’ve lived with depression, anxiety, ptsd and suicidal thoughts since I was around 9.

50. What is one thing you feel your life is missing?

Love of myself and trust in others

#50 questions #fifty questions to ask someone to get to know them better #emotional #hard truth #trust #depression #anxiety #ptsd #emotional stigma #stigma #harsh reality #get to know yourself better #happiness within #love

0 notes

juliayepes · 7 years

Text

The Teenage Dream of Polish Director Agnieszka Smoczyńska

MICHALINA OLSZAŃSKA IN THE LURE. COURTESY OF JANUS FILMS.

"To me, you'll always be a fish," a boy tells a teenage mermaid, gently rejecting her romantic advances. It's a bruising, funny, and relatable moment in 38-year-old Polish director Agnieszka Smoczyńska's inspired feature-film debut The Lure. Smoczyńska uses the genres of fantasy and horror to tell a coming-of-age story about two adolescent mermaid sisters who come ashore and become singers in an European underground nightclub restaurant (their act is called The Lure) during the '80s. It turns out that mermaids—creatures that are "half-children, half-animals" in Smoczyńska's words—serve as a perfect metaphor for developing girls grappling with their sexuality, objectification, and feelings of otherness. Smoczyńska's mermaids have beautiful faces and cascading hair, but they also have beastly, slimy, long, eel-like fishtails. Last year at the Sundance Film Festival The Lure won a Special Jury Prize in the Dramatic World Cinema competition for "unique vision and design." It's a lush, arresting art film with the transporting surrealism of Björk's music videos (which the filmmaker has named as an influence), the vivid colors and exhilarating energy of '90s foreign hit Run Lola Run, and shades of the poetic Czech cult classic Valerie and Her Week of Wonders and the deranged Isabelle Adjani film Possession thrown in for good measure. It's also a musical that was largely shot in an abandoned club in Warsaw and a vampire movie, in which the mermaids hunger for human flesh and—in a nod to Homer's sirens—hypnotize people with their voices. The dark-haired, rebellious Golden (Michalina Olszańska) squints and smirks challengingly at adults, making it clear than she won't be beholden to anyone, as she maneuvers through Warsaw’s nightlife world with its ramshackle glamour and a desolate, drab cityscape. Her sweet-tempered, ginger-haired sister, Silver (Marta Mazurek), is at once more mature than Golden and more vulnerable in her longing for earthly love. (Like her model, the eponymous character in Hans Christian Andersen's "The Little Mermaid," Silver seems willing to give up her voice for legs, so she can become a human being). Smoczyńska is currently in Poland shooting The Fugue, her follow-up film about a woman with amnesia who doesn't want to recover her memory. We recently spoke to the gracious and down-to-earth director by Skype as she was traveling to the set.

JULIA YEPES: Even though The Lure is fantastical, you did a lot of things to make it feel emotionally true to being a teenager. For example, the songs were interlaced into the story in such a way that it didn't even feel like a musical. The songs just seemed like natural expressions of joy or angst or sadness. AGNIESZKA SMOCZYŃSKA: Yes. I don't know if you read this, but the band Ballady i Romanse, the Wrońska sisters, they play such music. It's anti-musical music, as you said. Zuzia's lyrics are like poems, and Basia, her sister, composes the music. I had to visualize their songs; it was my goal, my task to do this. We were working together for, I don't know, one year with our scriptwriter. One of the songs in the movie, Gold's song to Silver when there is the fishtail operation—it was the same in real life because one of the Wrońska sisters was in a hospital and the second sister, Basia, wrote this song to cheer her up. I really like the song with the end credits because the lyrics are about this creature who is singing that she prefers to be under the water, on the car parts and the trash. "And this is much warmer than your arms!" This is the sense of the song. In Poland, they found a body of a 2-year-old boy in a river, and Basia wrote this song because she was so touched by this story. This is what you can feel. The lyrics are from the perspective of the boy. I think this is a beautiful song of the mermaid to the human being. YEPES: What movies influenced you when you were a teenager? SMOCZYŃSKA: When I was a teenager it was movies by Jim Jarmusch, because when I was in secondary school, I was in a film class where I was able to watch very good films from age 14 to 19. So we had history of cinema, and every week we went to the cinema. I remember the movies of Tarantino, of course, and Jarmusch, but Bergman was also an influence on me, and also Back to the Future [1985]. The Karate Kid [1984] was very important for me. But the main characters in most movies were boys or men, and I really liked movies where the main character is a woman or a girl. Which other movies when I was a teenager? When I was a child it was La Strada [1954] by Fellini. I liked Cronenberg's Naked Lunch [1991]. But also I remember Arizona Dream [1993]. Of course, Batman [1989]. And Polish movies, especially Polanski and Kieślowski. It was these directors that I really liked the most. YEPES: What about Żuławski? SMOCZYŃSKA: Andrzej Żuławski, of course, and Agnieszka Holland, of course. And Andrzej Wajda. We had great, great filmmakers during communism. I grew up on these movies. To be honest, I didn't like horror, I didn't like thrillers. So this is my first movie, but my previous thoughts—they were normal psychological drama. YEPES: [laughs] No wonder you like Bergman. SMOCZYŃSKA: Yeah, exactly. Antonioni, Bergman. Very serious art cinema. YEPES: I saw a connection between your movie and Żuławski because his movie Possession [1981] deals with extreme emotions. The main character is dealing with the fallout of an ending relationship, so it deals with extreme grief, extreme despair. SMOCZYŃSKA: Yes. YEPES: And this movie also deals wild emotions and expresses them in unusual ways. Silver and Golden are topless for a lot of the movie. Why did you think you think that was necessary? SMOCZYŃSKA: We were thinking about it very seriously. If you can see mermaids in paintings and in the sculptures in Warsaw and also in Denmark, they don't wear bras. Bras were put on via Disney, not artists. Because Disney was for kids, that's why they had to add the bra. A mermaid doesn't need to wear a bra because she doesn't feel that she's naked. And we wanted to tell about creatures that do not feel ashamed because they are not human beings. For us, it was very important that our mermaids don't wear bras. YEPES: Did you feel that might limit who sees the movie? SMOCZYŃSKA: We didn't want to tell the story to the kids. It's a fairytale for adults. In Poland, you can watch it after 16 years old. It was also important for us to not show nudity in an erotic way or porno way, just natural. YEPES: The sisters have a telepathic connection to each other the way a lot of young girls that are good friends do. And in the movie, it's signaled by a dolphin-like sound. How did you work with the sound designer to arrive at that noise and in general? SMOCZYŃSKA: The sound design was crucial. I started to work with the sound designer after the first draft of the treatment. I treated the whole script as a score. I knew the sound design would involve the horror genre, the horror convention of the film, and also I was working with the sound designer on how to create the language of mermaids. We thought maybe they should speak via words. Then we started reading about fish, and fish can sometimes communicate via telepathy. So that's when we decided to use it. But you can hear dolphins, sharks, many underwater sounds—I think there are like 19 levels of sound in our telepathy. YEPES: How did you connect with the artist whose work is in the animated opening sequence? SMOCZYŃSKA: For the opening sequence, I used paintings from Aleksandra Waliszewska, a Polish painter. She invented the creepy, long, wet fishtail. I like this image because the mermaid is like a beautiful, sad monster. YEPES: But how did you meet her? Or how did you know her work? SMOCZYŃSKA: [Scriptwriter] Robert [Bolesto] and I knew her paintings from the internet. At the opening of her exposition, I came to her and said, "I'm a filmmaker, and I would love to work with you. I would like to make a movie about mermaids—could you paint the mermaid?" And she said, "No, I have to feel it." Then we sent her a treatment. After maybe a week or two weeks, she started to send us some paintings and they were fantastic. It was a huge inspiration for our team. YEPES: How did you cast the lead actresses? SMOCZYŃSKA: In the beginning, I thought because the characters were in their teens, maybe teenagers should act it, but after a while, I realized it's not possible for a teenager to act such a very, very hard role. We had a casting and we saw about 2,000 girls. [What we were looking for] was hard to find. But first of all we found Marta Mazurek, Silver. Then I started to look for her sister because I really needed the chemistry between them. YEPES: Your cinematographer used special old lenses and lamps to help create the bright colors and the mood for the movie. SMOCZYŃSKA: Yes. [Jakub] Kijowski joined us maybe two weeks or two months before the shoot. So it was very, very late, but he was fantastic. His input was really huge, because I gave him the music, I gave him the script, and he started to think about the whole visualization. YEPES: Were the saturated colors your idea? SMOCZYŃSKA: I showed him images of Diane Arbus, Nan Goldin, and also Waliszewska, and I told him, "I want something like this." I showed one particular picture of Waliszewska's, and when he watched the movie after editing, he told me he realized the film is very similar. Because he's also really young, we really used our imagination, not our experience. YEPES: I read that you made a short film about a woman who was transfixed by her neighbor's voice, and also a documentary about an opera singer who was getting older and losing her voice. So I thought it was interesting that that theme continues in this movie. SMOCZYŃSKA: Yes, yes, this is true. But this was very subconscious. I didn't think about it. Maybe I'm interested in the beauty of the voice, the beauty of singing. The documentary was about Maria Fołtyn, an opera singer, a diva. My short film was about an opera singer who seduced her neighbor via her voice. Our mermaids seduce people also via their voices. And I like this, because voice is something you can't paint, you can't photograph it, but you can show it in a movie. YEPES: You evoke the heady feeling of being on the verge of womanhood so well in The Lure. Would you ever be interested in making a full-length movie about adults? Because the adults in the movie don't seem happy. I know we're kind of seeing things from the point of view of the sirens, but the lives of the grown-ups are pretty bleak. I was wondering what your views of adulthood are. Is it possible to be happy as an adult? SMOCZYŃSKA: [laughs] I don't know. It's a hard question. It depends if you cut your fishtail or not. I think what I like in this movie, in this story, in this archetype is when you're growing up, before you become a woman, and when you are not a child, in this state, when you are a mermaid metaphorically, you can build yourself or you can lose yourself.

by Julia Yepes

1 note · View note