#my tagging system exhausts me

[lagosbratzdoll]

I find it odd and by odd I mean racist that ever since that stupid show cast the Dragon Twins as Black girls, there's been an uptick in Jace/Sara content/shipping.

Before the dumpster fire started, reasonable people agreed that Sara Snow was not real, but now you cannot go five minutes in Jace or Baela’s tag without seeing someone wish they'd include Sara Snow in the show.

They say it'll deepen Jace’s character and make him “interesting”, whatever that means. The problem with this assertion is that Jace is already plenty interesting, he led the war councils while his mother grieved, and he recruited the blacks' most important allies. Allies who remained steadfast even after his mother's and his own demise.

Furthermore, Jace has existing relationships in his life that the show could explore to delve into his connection with bastardy. Three of whom are canonically Black, by the way.

So, the question arises: what unique perspective or insight can Sara Snow provide to Jace's struggle with his bastard status that Nettles, Addam, and Alyn cannot?

#i was going to leave it alone because i’m tired of talking about antiBlackness in general but i saw a post that annoyed me in Baela’s tag. #this fandom is so racist #it is genuinely exhausting that i cannot even scroll a characters tag in peace #it is telling that most of y’all skip all the canonical Black bastards to attach yourselves onto a white character whose in world existence #is debated #how would reducing baela to the other woman in her own relationship help her character? #would that not just repeat the disgusting precedent that the show runners set with laena #why can’t she be loved and cherished and missed and treated with tenderness #house of the dragon #baela targaryen #jace velaryon #nettles #addam velaryon #alyn velaryon #sara snow #had to get that out of my system #back to ignoring asoiaf discourse as best i can

[prncewilhelm]

craaazy that some of you are so determined he stays within the mould when the entire show is chronicling him breaking out of it 

#it fills in when he takes the role of crown prince after erik's death #and slowly becomes more rough until it's entirely not in the lines anymore #like season 3's logo #young royals #yr s3 spoilers #spoilers #no one yell at me i'm tagging everything #young royals season 3 spoilers #as someone who has grown up working class w a monarchy that sucks the living daylights out of my country #and has caused so much systemic oppression and created the class system that only widens the wealth gap as time moves on #i'm really exhausted by having to explain that wille being a queer king isn't a progressive thing #and that yah this is a tv show but it presents you an opportunity to #rewire your thinking about real life situations and the actual class system #the people at the top are still oppressive even if they're gay #imperialism is still imperialism even if you let gay people go to war #go read red white and royal blue if you want your gay royal fantasy #this is literally a show about the class system #and how historical systems that are held up by institutions like the monarchy #are a bad thing #and can never be progressive #even if you rainbow wash it

[quiveringdeer]

has no idea what the grey sweatpants ™️ be doin for folks:

bertito, shoto, toshinori, tomura, enji, chisaki, ochako's dad, yuta, higuruma, choso

objectively knows what the grey sweatpants ™️ do but oblivious to the fact they be doin it reeeeal well for them:

yuji, reiner, bakugo, tenya, armin, tetsutetsu, inasa, izuku, megumi, natsuo, shinso, tamaki, shoji, shirakumo, ijichi, tokumo ino

knows exactly what the grey sweatpants ™️ do and is making it everyone else's problem:

toji, gojo, geto, connie, porco, eren, jean, denki, sero, touya, keigo, rappa, yo shindo, inumaki, sukuna

know what the grey sweatpants ™️ do for them and everyone but is jus' wearin 'em cause they're comfy as heck:

kirishima, aizawa, mirio, twice, fatgum, tsukouchi

doesn't wear sweatpants :(

nanamin, tokoyami, kurogiri, gang orca, tokuda, best jeanist, naoya

doesn't wear sweatpants, thank the gods

nezu

#i did this with yuji in mind and then sat here strugglin to put him in a catrgory lmao #i bought some white sweats with him on them and they're so damn comfy #but also are somehow see through?!?! so they are strictly home pj pants but it got me thinkin #nat writes #jjk shenanigans #aot shenanigans #mha shenanigans #my system is very complex and while not peer reviewed completely without fault 😎 #nah but i'm interested in people's thoughts in comments or tags for reblogs 👀 #did i literally pull up a list of mha characters to not forget anyone?? indeed i did #this list is not exhaustive but my hyperfocus for this shit post wore off so #jjk imagines #aot imagines #mha imagines

[autisticlee]

having some sort of chronic pain and tiredness issue and joint problems and whatnot but not knowing exactly what the problem is is really good at leading you feeling like you're faking it or making a big deal out of nothing or making it up. especially if there's a good day where it's not as bad and you can walk straight without limping for the first time in a year. but then you can wake up the next day and can barely walk and wonder why you can't just walk normal. it's hard to not guilt trip yourself into dealing with pain by trying to ignore it and force yourself to walk "normal" all the time

#chronic pain #chronic exhaustion #idk what else to tag #another day of why was lee walking normal and barely pain at work yesterday but then today so much pain and exhausted #wish i knew what was exactly the problem. was diagnosed with “generalized hypermobility” but doesnt do much #not a real diagnosis. basically just a thing to tell me “theres nothing wrong. exercise more” but how???? i keep trying but hurt myself #my job is physical labor and therefore exercise. it hurts. is exhausting. no energy to do more. walking is exhausting #have to focus so much energy on not popping hips out of place and twisting knees and ankles and falling. never hurts less #still think about how failed the heds test by 1 point but had several people with heds or who have close friends/family with it who told me #they think i have it and should go het diagnosed or just ask me if i have it because they recognize the symptoms #and every time i tell them the doctor i saw about my joint issues and stuff denied it they get super confused and tell me to try #another doctor. unfortunately i have to go through my designated health system and they dont have multiple doctors of each specialty #and i in general have no clue how to navigate health stuff or how to advocate for myself and have no help or support system at all so 🤷 #anyway. it makes me wonder if i *do* have that or if my floppy bendy joints are just similarly bad and exercise will cure me #and im just bad at it because i have no clue what is right and wrong movement unless someone watches me and corrects me the whole time #and no i wont learn or get better. im so disconnected from this body that i will never learn what feels right and wrong. #still cant even tell when im hungry until i almost pass out!!!!!!! of thirsty!! or even have to pee until its emergency level piss!!!!!! #so no way to tell when hypermobiling joints when exercising or when form is slipping and not correct anymore. #been trying things to get better at that but still hasnt improved at all #what was i talking about......right. dont think ill ever get heds diagnosis since cant pass the test for that. so cant get much support/help #am on my own with youtube tutorials and hoping i dont keep hurting myself wishing exercise will cure me and “good days” become permanent #also why are video tutorials SO HARD TO FOLLOW AND LEARN FROM. im sk bad at it yet everyone tells me its the best and only way to learn but #its SO HARD FOR ME 😭😭😭😭😭 MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED AND UPSET

[elegyofthemoon]

life stuff

hmmmm something in me the last two weeks has wanted nothing but to destroy things and if not that then to just go sleep for a while

tbh i think last week genuinely was my last straw. i think it's time for me to leave for something else. i'm tired of not really enjoying life and always waiting for that Jump in joy that reaching a milestone and watching each day go by so easily that i don't remember them, being too focused on a future uncertain

i want to live. thats really it. this - whatever this is - it isn't living. i love being a student and i do love learning, but i don't think this was ever cut out for me. i've prided myself so much in being so because it meant helping others, and i'll always be someone who wants to help others some way or another, but maybe this isn't my path to help others.

there's other things i can do that i might enjoy a bit more. but i think more than anything right now i just want to focus on myself - reconnect with the self that i had lost by draining myself for this dream. i want to find things that make me happy and pursue it. it might not be something my folks would be happy about, but what's life without disappointing others to make a place for yourself? if i spent so long trying to make a place for others, its about time i ought to show myself that same kindness and choose to live.

my mom's coming to visit this weekend because she's been hearing a lot about how pained i've been and just how stressed i am about the situation. it's going to be my break weekend where i don't really do a lot of work and we're gonna go enjoy sightseeing and going around the city and even go to a football match. i want to enjoy it to the fullest and reconnect with myself and live. but ... i kinda want to break the news to her that i think i need to stop before i break myself further. i'm tired of this dream. i miss living and being in the present. i miss the small joys in life like the sun or the flowers. even now all of that doesnt bring me joy anymore. its hard. and i'm scared because i've had this conversation before with her that i don't think i can go on, only to be met with "you just have to bite your tongue and do it." if i bite any harder, there'd be blood everywhere.

i have some hope though. the last call we had she said something like "if medicine wasnt meant for you FUCK medicine!" and that made me happy to hear but there's a difference between a voluntary choice of leaving vs being kicked out. i think if i said a voluntary choice, she would throw a fuss and say im giving up so easily. as though such a choice was easy for me to choose when i spent my entire life building up to this dream - sacrificing a lot of my own life, relationships, etc - in order to get here.

but it's the final day of the first month of the year, and i don't need another month of all the heartbreak that the entirety of last year had given me. i don't need to feed it further.

#sorry this is really long #i'm just exhausted #tw vent #vent #ive had one nice thing happen to me last week but when i pull away and look over the past two weeks ive never been more depressed #thats what i mean by cons outweighing the pros #anyways #im going to try and do things for myself. connect with myself. etc. #i dont care anymore #but don't worry i'm safe! #it's more dying embers than anything #idk how else to explain it #ask to tag #bc idk what else to tag this as #i just needed this out of my system

[aylaaescar]

.

#personal tag #delete later #just want a quick vent: I am so sick of being treated like a bad guy when I don't want to go out and do something #no I do not want to spend three hours of one of my days off to learn the bus system. that is not fun for me. I do not want to #yes I recognize I'm getting worked up over it but I am feeling DEEPLY exhausted lately from having to be this friggin pillar in the house #I just want my free time to be that. mine. ughdjdsfl

[domesticated-pirate]

Alright whose got a shoulder for me to rest my fucking head against

#moth mumbles #personal tag rambles - a classic overshare below #I feel like good times are just around the corner (I always feel like this) #but i am so tired #on my knees exhausted #packing and dragging boxes of things out makes me wonder if i really need any of this stuff (book yarn clothes) #i always thought i'd only move to move in with someone - i never imagined id be able to move back to my grandparents house #tbh i probably just need to write about it to get it out my system #maybe this evening #whispers to the void #personal #el rambles

[hall0f0rigin]

having stuff 2 upload to social media versus actually doing it

#unnggg #its annoying because im like ung. #has to comply to this soc ial medias standards #like instagram adding a shit ton of hashtags to gain any traction #and different hashtags per site #twitter using hardly any if at all #using tumblr-y tags...on tumblr #and if applicable i upload on reddit and that has its own system and finding the best subreddit to post in #its exhausting and kinda takes the fun out of sharing my stuff #who knows maybe i will abandon hashtags sometime and strive 2 become a hidden gem #u have to search 2 find me...sparkle on

[laikuh]

anyway while i’m ~journaling~ i really am like two steps away from deleting my aesthetic sideblog and just fusing the two while simultaneously abandoning my non-spn separate account tumblr bc tbh i live here and i like it here best and like. idk. it’s tiring having three spaces.

#okay the tired hit i lied i am exhausted #whew just hit hard wowzers #shut up vin #i really love my non-spn url tho #just have to keep it hoarded #that said i want all my spaces to be really organized #and this blog is too wild for me to fix the tagging system #also i feel very cringe here??? #bc my personality is cringe #and i get tired of myself #like right now #spiraling in the tags of a blog post wow good nighththththththt

[silverskye13]

different anon. it does for some people but not everyone. (also, some people may find the feature annoying in certain cases because the length it decides is Too Long is kiinda arbitrary and peoople have differnent lines.)

So in the spirit of Under-The-Cutting, I guess.

First thing of address, I guess: I can't control if people turn off the auto Tumblr readmore function. If it doesn't work for you, you can't control that either. But I find it a bit unfair that someone might, hypothetically, turn off the useful tool for cutting back on longposts on your dashboard, and then come into my inbox and be passive-aggressive about me not doing the function for them on my side of the equation. If that's the circumstances that kicked all this off, it's a bit... ahm... self-centered. I personally have it turned on, less because I want to filter long written posts [I like reading the fics posted on Tumblr] but because I like to filter long image posts, and those generally don't get censored under a readmore.

For that matter I also can't control someone's scrolling speed. I get what the second anon is trying to say: maybe only censor posts of a certain size. The issue here is what I think is long isn't the same as what someone else does. For me personally, I think long is a written work that tops out around 10k words. I'd get annoyed scrolling through that on my dashboard. The fic I posted yesterday was a rare 5k-ish. Most fics I've posted here in the past are around 2-3k, but I've posted an 8k fic here before with no resistance. Something I'm learning from this is other people think 2-3k is fine enough to scroll through, but 5k is a lot. So... noting that for the future.

So I personally don't like censoring my posts under the readmore function for a couple or reasons:

It cuts back on engagement, noticeably. It's the side-effect of social media that you want instant gratification as quickly as possible. When someone is given the choice to either click a button and sit on a post for awhile, or continuing to scroll through their dashboard for something quicker to engage with, normally they'll pick the second option. That's how social media was made, and while the Tumblr platform subverts this a little by it's nature, it still buy-and-large holds true.

Read mores, as far as I'm aware, can only be added on desktop. The snippets that make it to Tumblr, barring when I archive them for myself on a separate document, are all written on mobile. If they aren't completely mobile, they're at least started/drafted there and then moved to desktop later - but I want to say 9/10 of these are written and posted completely from my phone. And they're going to lean even more into that, since for various reasons, it's currently easier and more reliable for me to write on my phone. I won't be able to continue writing fics here if I have to wait until I have access to my laptop every time before posting them. Which leads me to my incredibly me-only dilemma:

Writing these quickly and posting them rough to Tumblr is the only reason these quick fics get written in the first place. I started posting written work to Tumblr because I was tired of abandoning so many ideas in the shuffle between "Is this good enough for AO3?" and "Is this good enough to be written at all?" But if I have to re-add roadblocks that make posting here more trouble than it's worth, I know myself, I will end up not posting fics here anymore. I'm sure it sounds silly. It sounds silly to me. But it's less of a "readmores make me not want to write" and more of the mental gymnastics of: Is this fic long enough to need a readmore -> If it does need a readmore, when will I have the time to add it -> Do I post it now and edit it in later? Probably not, because I won't remember to add it later -> Since I waited to post it, do i even remember hours later that I had a fic I wanted to post -> Would it have been easier to post this on AO3, even though it doesn't meet my standard of craft of AO3 fics? -> Why am I bothering to do this when I have so many other things I'd rather spend my time on? If you've ever done that thing where you got nothing done on a free day because you had (1) thing you had to do in the afternoon, and all your mental faculties were taken up going "No I can't do X, I have to do that thing in 4 hours!" That's kind of the odd cascade the whole readmore thing is doing for me right now.

My thoughts on this currently is I have 2 compromises and 1 definitely-not-a-compromise. And the one not-a-compromise is I ignore all this ever happened, and continue doing what I have been doing. I don't want to do that because I like to be accommodating? I'm very community focused. I like building an atmosphere that's welcoming when it comes to the blog. But that might also be what I resort to just because, as I said above, if this turns into more trouble on my end than I think it's worth, I'll just stop posting fics here, and I don't want to do that. Which leads me to--

Compromise 1: I stop posting fics here. It's not really a compromise, but it's easy. Ish. Eh. Not really. Tagging everything on AO3 is a pain in the butt for something quick and dumb you wrote up because you thought it'd be fun. But being able to post a link to a fic like with my LongFics is a think I could just fall back on. I think it also means I'll probably stop writing this stuff though, because I'll get bogged down in things like trying to edit them, or link them together cohesively when they're out of chronological order [Like the Hels/Wels fics, which currently are all over the place in their timeline, and will continue to be so probably]. Regardless it's an option.

Compromise 2: We can go back to the old standby which is me tagging anything longer than 3 paragraphs as "long post" and then if anyone doesn't want it popping up on their dash, they can filter the tag. I also don't like this option because it blocks even more than a readmore does. But it's quick and easy for me, and maintains the integrity of "I wanted to post this to Tumblr and not worry about it anymore."

This is all stuff for me to stew on. I don't expect people to weigh in on these options, though you're welcome to if you think you have some good input for it. But that's about where I'm at right now.

#spazzcat barks #delete later #answering asks #the readmore debacle #well that's exhausted me for the night #i was going to draw but now I think I just want to sleep #Anyway I hope no one takes this as me like? Threatening them? #I'm not trying to say 'arghh you've made me upset no more writing for you' #i just know myself and i know my personal hangups when it comes to productivity #and as soon as something requires marginally more hoops to jump through i drop it #i became inactive on DeviantArt because it was easier to post art on Tumblr and write a few tags #than to slog through the filtering system for posts DA had #Same thing with FurAffinity the short time I was on that site #And AO3 is really high on the threshold of 'this is more trouble than it's worth' to me #which is why very few of these quick fics have been archived onto AO3 #but if this turns into a thing where it's harder to post fics on tumblr than not -- i'll do like I did with DA and FA and stop posting #its a storied trend and i dislike it :'D

[barmeciide]

{ Updated my rules, muse list, and pinned post! Honestly nothing super important! I’m not remotely fast with replies, but I’m here every so often! }

#| ☩ out of time ☩ (ooc) | #{ I still don't know who gave Lillie the right to be the face of this blog but here we are } #{ Months later and I can't be bothered DGFJLGLFDKS } #{ I need to do a tag masterlist for my canons } #{ might make a promo post at some point } #{ Maybe over the weekend we'll see if I have time! } #{ an attempt to be around is being made but I am having some absolute medical BS at the moment (more like I need to get a thing done #{ but the system is set up to make getting said thing done very very difficult despite the fact that I've repeatedly proven my quality of #{ life is being ruined and said thing will vastly improve said quality of life) } #{ So I exist in a constant state of exhaustion for roughly 100 different reasons at this point hfjdhgfks } #{ And that is probably half of them GDFJLJFGDKS } #{ So I could be 50% less tired of the medical world would LET ME } #{ Anyway an end to my rant but my frustration with this process is indescribable ghdjfhkfds }

[phantoids]

ough

#void echos #vent #putting this in the tags but. #having a terrible time i've just been sitting for four hours trying to will myself to work but i just. i can't. i fucking can't. #i'm exhausted and i just wanna sleep but this thing is due tomorrow and #i just. i'm so close to just giving up. it's maing everything worse and i thought i was getting better but #all it takes is one physical health issue taking me out for near two weeks and suddenly my mental health takes a nose dive #like wow!! thanks!! the suicidal thoughts are coming back and you want me to fucking. focus on an assignment??? #i'm sorry i've worked myself into the ground doing work i've missed due to physical health issues and catching up on lessons. #i'm sorry i've gotten severely ill because i'm not sleeping much or well and i'm not eating much and my immune system is fucking dying #i'm sorry i can't fucking be perfect. i was mean to get extra time. i'm meant to have an ehcp. i'm meant to get support and i just. haven't #cause the college didn't get the fucking thing i need and i can't have time to be out of commission or else i'm pulling everything down and #i can't deal with this

[savageboar]

if anyone here knows cars. did someone steal part of my fucking exhaust. id rather you steal the whole fucking car.

#AM I SEEING SHIT OR IS THAT A WHOLE SECTION OF PIPE JUST GONE #is there a carblr tag #carblr #???? is this why my trailblazer sounds like a fucking diesel suddenly #im gonna shit #it looks like the exhaust system but im not a car expert (yet maybe) so im....what? #THAT DOES LOOK LIKE A PIPE MISSING A SECTION TO ME. IDK #hades.txt

[dedusmuln]

egads

#did more than i thought this year ....! #here's to me actually learning how to draw backgrounds somewhat! #mimey ocs #fanart #art #my lovely confusing tagging system #art summary #went from a lot of “people standing there” to “people with actual poses” #which is good. need to keep doing that #big pieces are kinda exhausting but they do look nice #sorry that the quality for some aren't great. i use big ol canvases #my art

[wikagirl]

seeing one of my mutuals post about their psych eval experience and having one of my irls real time texting us updates from a psychward is kinda making me nervous about my own neurodivergency screening in two weeks

#not gonna name drop or tag your bc if peeps wanna know the details about you they gotta follow you my friend #but yeah healthcare systems are known for diganosing afab folks with literally anything except a form of neurodivergency #they'll give you a diganosis of ptsd combined with 4 flavours of anxiety and depression and call you hormonal five times #before even considering that you could be autistic or have adhd #and at least over here in germany it took me literally 3 years of hunting to find a clinic that would even do an eval on me #because they usually only take kids up to 16 and if you're older than that and not diagnosed allready youn are basicly fucked #but my guy seemed pretty nice about and basicly instantly said that I'd get a second apppintment #the moment i mentioned that literally all my friends are either adhd or autistic or both and ther eis no fucking way I'm not #also all of them except one are depressed as shit simply from existing like most of us don't even have trauma or anything like that #it's just the exhaustion of living in a world that is simply not made for you #and we're all pretty sure that the only reason why the one of us isn't depressed is bc she lives in her own head so much #that she blocks everything else out which may sound bad but it keeps her happy and so far also pretty healthy and successfull #so we don't care and we or at least I try my best to not bother her with my issues too much to keep her that way #sometimes being delulu is the solulu

[carrotpiss]

This is a bunch of sad lost and confused and frustrated and lonely sludge, advise not reading

#im just so completely miserable and exhausted and just angry with everything #gic has gone silent. im getting so stressed about the ethics of my top surgery fund because i dont know if its something i should be still #doing how long until they talk to me again if they do will the waitlists even be livable is it ethical is it worth it does anyone even have #the money to spare anyway to help before the endless nhs waitlist #why am i being left in the dark #im terrified that i dont know when my pap smear will be and that i have to go under anesthetic for it because i fucked up my own body by #being a pathetic cowardly idiot who is to stupid to exist like im supposed to so now im worth nothing and i cant navigate dating bc of it #bc it just makes me shut down immediately when i realise its something i do have to disclose because im shitty and broken and worthless #and i dont know whats happening and i dont want the smear anymore and the nhs sent me a terrifying letter saying im not a real person and i #predictabley got to scared to reply to so now i may have fucked up literally everything which is my fault but also why does the ngs not just #have a system that works and isnt briken just because im trans #and i jsut want to die i cant die but im jsut scared and i want to hide forver #i dont know whats happening with my job am i still getting paid will i get the November cost of living backpay will i get my pension refund #i jjst feel lost and pathetic and desperately clawing out for any vague threads of interest for sex and dating even though im as previously #mentioned in these tags not fit for that and should just die forever in box alone and aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhj #I just want a hug for the next millennia #instead im kust fighting off thoughts about starving myself as punishment because i dont deserve to eat jm not worth the expense of my own #paycheck to buy food for not that it matters because im sick and getting sicker amyway and of course one of my moles is looking insanely #dodgey and ive had to book a doctor's appointment for it but its so tempting to kust ignofe it surely itd be better if it was cancer and #then j could just die amd people wouldnt blame me for being pathetic or whatever removing myself but sad and tragic for dying from something #scary or whatever the fuck im fully aware thats a fucked up thibg to be thinking im just a bit at amessy ends atm and j dont even have a #hot chubby dude or not dude to pretend is ever going yo be interested in me or whatever and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #dw to anyone reading this in the event someone is i wont remove myself im a huge coward and too lazy to do that #crouch speaks #and its only November! we still got winter to come!!!!! my favourite (sarcastic) time of the year that doesnt absolutely fuck with my head