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#no one can see the fishy little details I drew on her dress :
lycorim · 7 months
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uuuuuehhhghh fish time
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snowdice · 4 years
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Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 26]
Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!
If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. Chapters 3-8 and what I have of Chapter 9 are under the cut.
My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.
It has been a busy weekend. I will answer asks not related to this at a later day. For now I have to study.
Chapter 7
“Him,” was the only thing Janus said before taking off after the figure who had just disappeared into the game area.
“What?” Remus’s voice followed after him. “Janus! What?!”
Janus did not pause, just continuing to run after Pat, hopping over two barricades as a shortcut. Janus cursed when he lost sight of the man for just a moment near the prize table filled with colorful goldfish, but he was able to spot him once again walking into one of the tents. Janus blasted into the tent. It was a game where they raced rats, and when Janus entered, Pat was cooing at one of them.
 “Who’s a tiny little squishy precious baby?” he was asking one of them, wiggling his pointer finger at it.
“You,” Janus growled stepping up to him.
He turned and tilted his head at Janus with a frown. “Um, me?” he asked, pointing to his chest, all sorts of innocent, but Janus could see a spot of hidden amusement in his eyes.
“Where is it?”
His eyebrows drew together, but it was an act. It was clearly an act! “Where is what?”
“The…” he glanced around them at the people surrounding them. “Thing you just took.”
“I didn’t take anything,” Pat said with a frown.
 “Oh, no,” Janus said. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fooling me twice is not an option.”
“I’m sorry sir,” Pat said. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bull. Shit.”
Just then, Remus jogged into the tent. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“It’s him,” Janus said pointing. “He took it. He has it.”
“I… don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pat said. He looked over to Remus with a confused frown.
Remus looked at Janus. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Janus said. “It’s him. It has to be him. He’s the mask guy.”
Remus squinted at Pat. “He is?”
“Whoever you think I am, I’m not. I haven’t worn a mask all night. I just did the face paint,” he pointed to his cheeks.
 Remus raised his wrist and his timepiece lit up green. He looked at Janus.
“I lost sight of him for five seconds. He must have stashed it somewhere,” Janus said. He turned on Pat. “Where did you put it?”
“…Are you,” Pat asked, his eyes going back and forth between Janus and Remus, “… the police?”
“We are, actually,” Khalid said as she stepped into the tent. Remus must have called her. She inserted herself between Janus and Pat. “Agent Khalid,” she said, offering a hand with a smile. Pat looked at it in surprise and then smiled back hesitantly as he took it. “Apologizes, one of the big game prizes was stolen by someone matching your description. Would you mind coming down to security for questioning? Just to clear it up.”
 “Oh,” Pat said, hesitant. Janus expected him to refuse outright, but then he said. “Uh, sure.”
“Thank you very much, Mr…”
“Jonas,” Pat told her earnestly. “Do I need to be handcuffed?”
“No,” Khalid said. Janus frowned at her, but she ignored him. “It’s just a talk for now.” She gestured to the tent entrance. “Come with us.”
He did without argument, and Remus and Janus followed behind the both of them. Khalid did not lead them back to the base, but to a little spot that said “security” near the center of the event. Remy was already there waiting for them at a desk.
 “Remy, would you please take Mr. Jonas to go sit down?” she asked.
“Sure, boss,” Remy said, standing up. He led Pat away.
Khalid turned to Janus and Remus once they were out of earshot. “What is going on?”
“It’s the mask man,” Janus said, “the one from 1923, and my scanner said the time bomb was on the Millenia Bird outside the games entrance, but then it was gone the next second, and I saw him, and then he ran away.”
“So, does he have it on him?”
“No. I lost sight of him, and he must have stored it somewhere, but I know he took it.”
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“He’s the man from 1923?” she asked.
“Yes! Remus, that’s him, right? You recognize him.”
“Well,” Remus said thoughtfully. “He was in a mask, and it was dark in the room with the necklace. Other than that, I only really saw his back, and he was wearing pants. Mr. Jonas is wearing a dress, so I can’t really tell if their asses match.”
“Okay, but I was with him for hours. I swear it’s him, and I swear he took it,” Janus just about shouted.
“We’ll question him,” Khalid placated, “and Fred and Lena will keep looking in the meantime.”
 “He knows where it is,” Janus insisted. “I swear.”
“Okay,” Khalid said, before leaving to follow where Remy and Pat had gone. She stopped Janus with a hand on his shoulder. “I think Remus and I will do the interrogation.” He opened his mouth to argue. “You know the most about him, so observe from the sidelines and see if he makes any mistakes that indicate you’re right.”
“That’s just to placate me and you know it.”
“Observation’s over there,” she said pointing.
He got a thumbs up from Remus as he walked by, and Janus glared at his back before walking off to the indicated location.
 He watched as Remus and Khalid entered the room, and Remy left it. Remy joined him in the observation room after leaving and leaned against the wall.
Pat was sitting at a table and watched Remus and Khalid with that same rubbish placid confusion that he had before. “So,” Khalid said, “Mr. Jonas.”
“You can call me Nick,” Pat interrupted.
“Lia,” Khalid replied. He smiled at her happily. “So, are you enjoying your day?” she asked.
“I am!” he replied. “It’s a big day. You only get to see the turn of a millennia once in your life.”
“Ah, yes,” Khalid said. “Doing anything special for it?”
 “Um, not really,” he said. “Other than the party. I’m going to meet up with my roommates after dinner. Kevin doesn’t like this sort of thing, and Joe couldn’t come.”
“Your roommates,” Khalid said, considering him. “Do you live around here?”
“Uh huh,” Pat replied.
“Do you have any ID?”
“I do, want me to get it?”
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
Pat unzipped one of the bubbles on his waist and handed her a chip. “Remus, would you mind going out and getting the ID scanner?” she asked, even though her timepiece would be able to read it.
“Ah, shit,” Remy said. “Props. What do those things even look like?”
 As Remy scrambled to find something that would pass for an ID reader so “Nick” didn’t get suspicious of Khalid using her timepiece, Janus watched the two alone in the room like a hawk.
“I see you’re wearing a dress inspired by the 2770s,” Khalid noted, as Remus came to stand next to him.
“Yeah!” Pat replied. “Joe made it for me. He’s really good at fashion design!”
“Can I see?” she asked.
With a happy smile, he reached over the table to let her get a look of the sleeves. Janus saw her subtly scan the fabric, probably to make sure it was from the 2990s and not actually from the 2770s. Considering she didn’t mention it, Janus assumed it checked out.
 Remy came back with some sort of device then and handed it to Remus who saluted and wandered back into the interrogation room. Khalid pretended to scan the ID in her hand. She handed it back to him without comment. “So, you said you live with your roommates: Joe and Kevin?” she asked.
“Yep!” he replied. “We’re practically like brothers.”
“Would you mind calling them?”
“Erm,” he titled his head like he was confused by the question. “Well, like I said, Joe is a bit busy, but I could definitely call Kevin.
“Here,” Khalid said, “use my phone.”
“I have my own,” he said with a frown.
“Humor me,” she requested.
“Uh, okay,” Pat agreed. He took the offered 2999 phone and dialed a number on it. Khalid reached over to put it on speaker.
“Hello?” a voice asked after a few seconds.
“Um, hey Kevin, it’s Nick.”
There was a sigh on the other end. “Hello Nick, is something wrong? Why are you calling me from someone else’s phone?”
“I’m fine, I think.” He looked up at Khalid. “Why am I calling him exactly?”
“Hello, I’m Officer Khalid,” Khalid said. “I just wanted to confirm that you are Nick Jonas’s roommate, and he does live in Manaus.”
“Yes, we live together with our other roommate,” the man replied flippantly. “Officer? Is something wrong?”
“I believe there was just a case of mistaken identity,” Khalid said.
“Bullshit there was!” Janus hissed, though she could not hear him.
“No need to worry,” Khalid continued.
“I’m good Kevin,” Pat said.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Kevin asked.
“Don’t be Paranoid, Kevin. I’ll see you Tonight for the New Years Celebration. You know I Live to Party.”
“I am hanging up now,” Kevin said.
“No! Comeback.” The line went dead. Pat handed the device back to Khalid.
She took it and smiled at him. “Give us just a couple of minutes,” she requested. He nodded easily, and she and Remus exited the interrogation room. “I… think we’re done here,” Khalid said.
“No, he’s lying,” Janus insisted, and got a dubious look in return. “I know he is! Remus!”
“The alibi is pretty solid…” Remus said, “and he doesn’t have the bomb on him.”
“Oh, come on,” Janus said. “You can’t say there is nothing fishy going on here.”
Khalid and Remus shared a look. “Janus,” Khalid said. “I respect your intuition. It is usually very good, but you have been a bit intense about the man from the 1920s, and I think that may be blinding you a bit...”
“I am not imagining this!” Janus said. “That’s him and he took it.”
“You only met him once while he was wearing a mask,” Khalid pointed out with a frown, “and you didn’t see him take the bomb, did you?”
“No, but he looked at me and I knew,” Janus argued. They both gave him a skeptical look. “Oh, come on!”
“You know that’s a little weak, Jan,” Remus said.
“Let me talk to him,” Janus requested. “Just give me five minutes to talk with him.”
Khalid raised one eyebrow. “Fine,” she agreed. “You have five minutes, but after that, you have to let it go. We can’t waste any more time.”
 Chapter 8
Pat looked up as Janus stepped into the interrogation room. “Hi,” he said with an innocent smile that could cut steal.
Janus didn’t say a word as he took a seat; he just watched him intently. He leaned slightly over the table and steepled his fingers in front of his chin. “So, your name is Nick this time?” Janus asked.
“Nicholas Jonas,” he said. “Always has been.”
“Stop it,” Janus said.
“Stop what?”
“Cut the crap. I know.”
Pat leaned forward, mirroring Janus as he leaned closer, interlocking his fingers and laying his chin on top of his knuckles. “What did you say your name was again?” he asked, pleasantly.
 “Janus,” Janus replied.
“No, I’m Jonas,” he said, pointing to his chest.
“Not Jonas,” Janus spat. “Janus.”
“Um,” Pat said, eyes alight with amusement. The bastard. “Those are the same words.”
“No, they’re not. It’s Janus. J-A-N-U.-S.”
“Well, that’s confusing,” Pat said with a frown, but his nose was crinkling. “It’s close to my name. You should go by a nickname instead.”
“What?” Janus said. “No.”
Pat hummed. “How about Love Bug?”
“What! No!” Janus sputtered, almost flipping the table, as Pat winked at him.
“BB Good?”
“What does that even mean?!”
“Mandy.”
“No!”
“Okay, okay, how about Macy Misa.”
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Janus stared at him for a moment. “Fine. Whatever. What was I even talking about?”
“Hmm. I Believe we were talking about my name and how you think it’s not my name.”
“Right,” Janus said. “So, Nick. That was your roommate, Kevin on the phone, right? He seemed a bit unhappy with you. Any reason?”
“Nah, we’re Cool” said Pat. “That’s Just the Way We Roll.”
“Not because you’re messing up a mission right now?”
Pat’s eyes crinkled together. “A mission?” he parroted. “I’m not messing up a mission.”
“Oh, really?” Janus growled. “Because you’ve been captured by the TPI, and I know who you are and what you’ve been doing.”
“I have no idea what the TPI is,” he claimed.
“Yes, you do!” Janus said, standing up. “You obviously do! Or you wouldn’t be playing this game!”
 “Game?” Pat asked. “Macy I ask you what you’re talking about.”
“This is all just a game to you isn’t it!” Janus said, slamming his hands down on the table in front of them.
“Whoa,” Pat said, putting his hands up. “Calm down. Your face is getting all red. You must be Burnin’ Up.”
“I’m not sure what, but something about what you just said pisses me off.”
“And that is five minutes,” Khalid said, bursting into the room. He felt a tug on the back of his shirt and glared back at Remus who was putting his own body between Janus and Pat.
 “There was no way that was five minutes,” Janus growled.
“It was five minutes,” Khalid gritted out. “Remus, get him out of here.”
“Come on Jay,” Remus said, dragging him back towards the door.
“Remus, I swear to god.”
“Just chill, Janus,” Remus said, slamming the door closed behind them.
Janus shrugged him off. “You chill!” he snapped. “He’s playing you all for the fool.”
“Wow, Macy,” Remy drawled like an asshole. “I’ve never seen you so fired up.”
“Oh, my gosh. No one is going to believe me, and he’s going to get away with this.”
“You’re not really helping your case, babe,” Remy said.
 Remus grabbed him by the shoulders again. “Here, let’s go get some water.”
“I don’t want water,” he said even as he let Remus lead him to another room to get a glass of water.
“Look,” Remus said. “I know the Mask Guy thing really sucked, but you have to look at the facts.
“I am looking at the facts,” Janus insisted, “and the facts are, he’s fucking with me.”
“You don’t know what mask guy looks like,” Remus said. “You didn’t see Nick take the time bomb, he has an ID from this time period and a roommate in this time he called on the phone, and he legitimately seems to not know what any of us are talking about.”
 “Did you even listen to our conversation?” Janus asked. “He was screwing with me the entire time!”
“Janus…” Remus said.
“What?” Janus said, narrowing his eyes at Remus’s tone.
“I know you recently had a bad experience, but not everyone who flirts with you is doing it out of evil.”
Janus’s mouth hung open for a few seconds. “That’s what you got out of our conversation?”
“He called you Love Bug.”
Janus felt his face heat a bit at the reminder. “That’s not… I. I’m stealing your cat and then never speaking to you again.”
Remus laughed. “Ah,” he said. “Young lust.”
Janus elbowed him roughly in the side. “No!”
“Yes!” he crooned, pleased.
 “You are the worst partner,” Janus hissed. “When I’m right you owe me 10 loafs of your fresh bread.”
“Branching out from poptarts?” Remus asked.
Janus shook his head. He still wasn’t happy about the state of things, but he could feel himself cooling down a bit.
Khalid came out of the integration room after a few minutes, leaving Pat with Remy. “What was that?” she asked him.
“He got under my skin,” Janus said.
“We’ll talk about it later,” she said. “For now, we’re letting him go and then going back to looking for the bomb like we’re meant to be.”
 “Fine,” Janus relented. “Just do me the favor of tagging him before he leaves. Just that. I beg of you.”
“Sure,” she agreed. “If it will calm you down.”
He nodded.
“Then, let’s go,” she said. When they met back up with Remy and Pat, he saw Khalid make the subtle gesture that would tag Pat like they would have for the Millennium Birds. Pat sent him what could pass as a sweet smile if Janus didn’t know better. Then, they walked him outside, leaving Remy on clean-up duty for the make-shift security office.
“So, I’m free to go?” Pat asked. His bemused expression edged far too much on the side of amused verses confused for Janus’s taste.
 “You are,” Khalid said. “Have fun at the festivities.”
His hands went flapping about. “Oh, you too!” he said. “Well, I guess you’re working, but you can have fun anyway, I’m sure.”
“We’ll do our best,” she said.
He gave her a blinding smile and reached forward to shake her hand enthusiastically. Janus rolled his eyes and looked up at the heavens. “It was nice to meet you!” he said, “and you too, Remus!” He turned to meet Janus’s eyes. “Macy Misa.”
Janus pressed his lips together.
Then, Pat turned and walked away.
“Well, now that we’re done with that,” Khalid said, turning to them. “We have only a few more hours before midnight and we really need to find the time bomb.
 “Oh,” Pat called. He’d paused a few yards away and turned back to them. “Thanks for letting me go so easily by the way,” he said, “and just in the Nick,” he winked, “of time too.” Janus narrowed his eyes at him. He smiled back. “Wrist check,” he said holding up his arm to show off the timepiece there. Khalid immediately looked down at her own wrist just to see that the one timepiece that could move through the time lock was no longer there. Pat made a gesture and disappeared.
All three of them stared at the spot he’d been for a long moment.
Janus was the one to speak first. “I want. The yellow. To be erased. From my record.”
 Chapter 9
Khalid immediately called everyone back to base.
“What happened?” asked Fred when he and Lena arrived. The tech people were already scrambling to get through to the TPI and get the time lock broken from the outside.
“Remus, Remy, and Khalid got played by Pat or whatever his name is. It certainly isn’t Nick. He was just setting up a joke,” Janus told him.
“Stop being smug,” Remy said. “It’s not a good look for you.”
“Pat is…?” Lena asked.
“They guy who fucked me over in 1923,” Janus said, “and is currently in the middle of fucking us all over because he stole the pin timepiece, and by extrapolation, probably the time bomb too.”
 “It will be fine,” said Khalid, “because what he doesn’t know is that timepiece has a tracker on it. Wherever and whenever he went, we’ll have his coordinates.”
“Speaking of,” one of the techies said. “It’s about to break. You might want to hold onto something.” Janus grabbed for a support beam next to him as the techie put a device on the ground in the center of the base. It blinked once, twice, and on the third blink the ground rumbled. There were sounds of panicked yelps outside. The fail safe for the time lock was not nearly as gentle as ending it correctly.
 Everything settled after a few moments, and they all straightened themselves out. Janus’s timepiece buzzed to indicate it was now functioning normally. Khalid had returned her usual timepiece to her wrist and now used it to open a display they could all see. “The pin timepiece’s closest time/space coordinates are…” she trailed off. “Right outside?” She frowned. “That’s strange. Why would he still be here?” She turned to march outside, following the coordinates to a trash can. She pulled the pin timepiece out and stared at it. “Fuck,” she said.
“What just happened?” Remy asked.
“He ticked us,” Janus said. “Again.”
 “He was stuck in the time lock,” Khalid said. “That’s why he got our attention. He couldn’t leave with the time bomb unless he had the pin timepiece or we broke the time lock. Apparently, he’s smart enough to know that if he took the pin timepiece away from here, we’d probably be able to find him, but he knew we’d break the lock as soon as the pin went missing. So, he must have stashed his own timepiece and went back in time within the time lock to grab it while we were distracted with the past version of him. As soon as the time lock went down, I imagine he left.”
 “Probably with the time bomb,” Janus said.
“Probably with the time bomb,” she confirmed.
And everyone knew the only thing worse than a time bomb was a time bomb you didn’t know the location of.
They evacuated after that, of course, and time locked the location once they were out just in case they were wrong, but midnight 3000 struck without thousands of people dying in Brazil, so the time bomb had defiantly been removed from then.
The, they initiated a time travel lockdown for all nonessentials, not willing to let random history students get caught up in an explosion if Pat decided to set the thing off somewhere.
 Then, it was a matter of figuring out everything they could about ‘Pat.’ First, they checked the tracker data as Khalid had tagged him with one of the Millennium Bird trackers. It wouldn’t work outside of the zone they’d set up that day, but the record would show his behavior during the time lock after he’d escaped with the pin timepiece.
There had been many little green dots on the map that day as Fred and Lena had actually been doing the job they’d set out to do, but most of those were running around in the south. There had been one green dot, however, that appeared suddenly in the game area about 10 minutes before the time bomb had been stolen.
 They could see Janus’s yellow dot almost brush his when he’d been chasing the earlier Pat down, around when he’d lost him briefly. The earlier Pat must have all but handed it off to his future self.
“He doubled back,” Remus commented when they watched the recorded data. It was a ballsy move and one that most people balked at, because there were inherent dangers any time you interacted with yourself from a different point in the timestream. It was ripe for paradoxes. It made everyone at the agency even more worried, because if he was willing to risk that, then what else was he willing to do?
 Because of the lockdown of all nonessential time travel, people working for the TPI were not allowed to go home for the night. They were allowed to pick up anyone or anything dependent on them for care like kids and pets if there wasn’t someone in their home time to care for them, but other than that, they were unfortunately all sleeping in their offices for the foreseeable future.
“You are the only tolerable one,” Janus told the cat who upon being let loose in the office by Remus, immediately jumped on Janus’s lap.
“I have literally done nothing to you,” Lena said, but then added. “Yet.”
 “You exist. In my space.”
“Can’t we just all get along?” asked Fred. “It’s only been an hour past when we’d usually go home. I went and grabbed milk and I have my giant thing of different flavored hot chocolate under my desk. We can try them all and vote on which is better.”
“Fuck your hot chocolate, Fred,” Janus growled, having been one of the three who had chipped in to buy it for him on his last birthday.
“Don’t go after Fred, jackass,” Lena spat.
“He’s just testy because his boyfriend escaped,” Remus contributed.
Janus’s lips turned down into a frown and he cupped Diesel Fuel’s face. “We agree we’re eating him first, right?” he asked her.
 She purred her agreement.
“I’d have it no other way,” Remus replied.
“There is plenty of food,” Fred said, sounding stressed. “In fact, I was thinking we should all chip in on ordering take-out soon. “What does everyone like on pizza?”
“This is not a slumber party, Fred,” Janus pointed out.
“Shut it,” Lena snapped and turned to Fred. “I’m fine with almost everything, except…”
“Bananas and tuna salad!” Remus interrupted.
“…whatever Remus is about to say.”
Janus rolled his eyes as that started a debate about whether or not fruit and/or fish belonged on pizza. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, which was when there was a knock on the door.
 He froze when he heard the familiar voice. “Hello, hello,” said Emile, cheerfully. Janus looked up to see Emile standing at the open office door. Shit. Apparently, the man had decided to give up on sending lackeys to come fetch him and had decided to track him down himself when Janus couldn’t even escape without breaking a time lockdown. They met eyes briefly and Janus could see irritation if not anger in his eyes despite his otherwise cheerful expression and tone.
“Janus,” he said when he’d gotten their attention. “I’d like to have dinner with you.” The word choice told Janus everything he needed to know. Usually Emile was careful with how he said things to make sure people knew they had a choice. Typically he’d say something like, “I was wondering if you’d have time to have dinner with me tonight,” or “I’m about to go get food, would you like to come?” Today, there was no choice in the statement.
 Janus still dried to dodge anyway. “Uh,” he said. “We were actually about to order pizza.”
“Go ahead,” said Fred kindly. Janus wanted to strangle him. “We can order pizza with olives if you’re not here.”
“I…” said Janus. “Guess, I’ll be going with you.”
“Great!” Emile said. “Let’s go.”
“Oh,” Janus said. “Uh, now?”
“Now,” Emile said a bit of uncharacteristic steel to his tone.
 Well, Janus was screwed. He swallowed his nervousness and got to his feet, taking Diesel Fuel with him. He turned to hand her off to Remus with a plea in his eye, but he just got an eyebrow raise in return. Traitor.
Then, he followed Emile out of the office door. “What would you like to eat?” asked Emile.
“Uh,” Janus said. “I don’t know. You asked me to eat, don’t you have any ideas?”
“I don’t actually,” Emile replied. Right.
“…Noddle Bar?” Janus threw out the nearest restaurant he knew.
“The one noodle restaurant? Sure,” Emile answered simply. They walked side by side out of the front doors of the TPI building. Janus actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken these stairs. He usually used his timepiece to get in and out.
 The noodle bar was only moderately busy at this time. They were quickly able to find a table near the back and Emile pulled his menu up in front of him. Emile hummed as he flipped through the different displays. “What are you having?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Janus said, only then pulling up the menu himself, but still not quite looking at it.
“What about the fortune noodles,” Emile suggested.
Janus shook his head. “I don’t like those,” he said.
Emile glanced at him through the menu displays. “You used to.” Fortune noodles were a bit cheekily named. They didn’t actually indicate anything about your future. They were just supposed to taste like what you wanted from your future. A grad student might experience a feeling like they’d just aced a paper. A child that they got to stay up an hour later that night. Janus had liked the experience when he was younger, but in recent years, he’d begun to taste the underlying chemicals in the dish until that’s all he could.
 “Well,” Emile said lightly, eyes on his menu. “That makes me even more worried for your mental health than I already was because of the almost three years of you avoiding talking to me.”
“No small talk, huh?” Janus asked.
“Forgive me,” Emile said, eyes now focused on Janus, and tone much darker. “How has your life been since I last saw your face 5 months ago during a business meeting and you refused to look me in the eye? Anything interesting happen? Shave your head and let it all regrow? Develop an allergy to peanuts? Join a convent and take an oath of silence that you only just broke today?”
“No,” said Janus quietly into the table.
 “Great,” Emile said clipped. “Small talk over. Order your food.” Janus reached up blindly to select the first thing that came up on the food and drink menu as Emile punched something into his own and both menu displays disappeared, meaning there was nothing between their faces anymore. “You know, I was willing to give you a year,” Emile said. “I was willing to let you deal with it on your own because I thought eventually, you’d come talk to me about it, but apparently I was mistaken. The next year, I thought maybe you thought I didn’t want to talk to you, so I subtly made myself available, and you never took me up on the offer. I thought maybe I was just not being clear, and I should make my desire to talk to you more explicit, but as you have been routinely, clearly avoiding me at every single turn, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. So, let’s lay it all on the table. Is it me or do you need help?”
 Janus closed his eyes. “It’s not you.”
“Then you need help,” Emile concluded.
Janus shook his head.
“Yes,” Emile snapped. “Whatever this is has gone on far too long.”
Janus stood up and slammed his hand down on the table. “And it’s going to keep going on!” he said. The food popped up at that moment. It appeared Janus had ordered lasagna and bubble tea, and Emile had ordered something with spaghetti and a fizzy drink.
“So, you’re just planning to go on being miserable then?” Emile asked, and Janus wasn’t sure if it was worse or better that he didn’t sound angry anymore.
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Janus slapped his hand down on the “To Go” button and his dinner was insta-wrapped by the table. “Yes,” he said.
“What exactly do you think you’re paying penance for, Janus?” Emile asked.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Janus said, paying for both of their meals with his fingerprint.
“That’s a cop out and you know it,” Emile said. “All you’d have to do is talk to me. Or even just talk to someone else. Please.”
“Just…” Janus said, grabbing his bag of food to avoid looking at him. “Just, leave me be.” He walked out of the noodle shop without another word.
 Chapter 10
“And I thought Remus was going to be the most disgusting roommate in this equation,” Lena grumbled. Janus and Lena were apparently the earlier risers in the group as Fred was still curled up around a pillow and Remus was sprawled out under his desk.
Janus flipped her off.
“Protein infused Poptarts and caffeinated orange juice for breakfast?” she asked. “Just eat an energy bar and have a cup of coffee like a normal person.”
He took another pointed bite of his Poptart.
“You’re a horrible roommate. This is why they gave us different partners.”
“Yeah, well you snore, asshole,” Janus said after finishing off his meal.
 “I’d tell you to go eat shit, but you already did that once this morning.”
A pillow flew across the room and somehow managed to hit the both of them. “S’op fighting,” Fred mumbled. “It’s sleep time.”
“It’s morning Fred,” Lena said.
“No,” Fred mumbled.
Janus ignored them, turning back to his integration port to continue to keep plugging in phrases of interest, but he kept getting nothing.
“What are you doing?” Lena asked after a few moments of him huffing at his screen reader.
“Trying to do anything that may change our current living arrangements.”
She puffed out an amused breath. “Can I help?”
 “Can you see any connection between these words and phrases?” he asked, pulling away his screen reader and tapping at the words he’d typed out.
“Paranoid, tonight, I live to party, comeback, love Bug, BB good, Mandy, Macy Misa, I believe, cool, that’s just the way we roll, burnin’ up,” she said. “What are these?”
“They’re things Pat said when we interrogated that struck me funny,” Janus explained. “I feel like he was saying something more than what he said.”
“Hmm,” she said. “PTI for the first three?”
“Maybe,” Janus agreed, “but what about the rest of it? I feel like I’m missing something.”
15080
“Millennia,” Remus mumbled from under his desk. Janus hadn’t been aware he was awake. “He said something something about it being the only time he could see the change of the millennia.” He turned his head to look at Janus. “Considering he’s a time traveler, that’s definitely a weird thing to say.”
“Millennia,” Janus contemplated. “A different turn of the millennia. Oh no.”
“What?” Lena asked.
Janus sighed, and rubbed his temple. “I know someone who studied the 1700-2200s.”
“Isn’t that good?”
“No,” Janus groaned, “because now I have to go talk to him.” He stood with a sigh and then paused. “How do I even get to Silver Mountains University without my timepiece?”
 Luckily Sliver Mountains ended up only being about an hour away from the TPI by time adherent travel, but considering Janus was used to his travel being instantaneous, it was an aggravating trip. He had to show ID and be buzzed up to the fourth floor since it was usually locked to everyone not traveling by timepiece or who worked in the office.
The receptionist was the same man as before. “I’m here to speak to Professor Eran,” Janus said.
The receptionist nodded. “He mentioned you asked to meet him but didn’t know when you’d arrive. He’ll be done teaching his class in about 5 minutes. You can wait over there.”
 Janus nodded and sat, waiting for time to slowly tick by. Virgil arrived after a few minutes, lugging a giant bag with him. He caught sight of Janus and wordlessly jerked his head towards the hallway. Janus followed him.
“What’s in the bag?” Janus asked.
“Early 21st century cell phones,” Virgil said, dropping it on his desk. “I let my students mess around with them for their lab.”
“I see,” Janus said.
“What did you need?” Virgil asked. “You said it was official business.”
“You’ve heard about the lockdown, I presume,” Janus said.
“Yeah, it really screws up my research schedule for the summer,” Virgil said.
15412
“Do you know why the lockdown was instituted?” Janus asked. Virgil shook his head, so Janus explained briefly that they had been trying to find a timebomb on the eve of the year 3000, but it had been swiped by a free agent time traveler. “Some of the things seemed to be references to things that I couldn’t place, and I was wondering if you would recognize any.”
“Shoot,” Virgil requested, seeming intrigued by the prospect.
“Okay,” Janus said. “First, the alias he was using was Nick Jonas.” A weird expression crossed Virgil’s face immediately and Janus paused.
“You said the year 3000?” Virgil asked.
 “Er. Yes.”
“Nick Jonas. Year 3000,” Virgil repeated with a snort. “Were Joe and Kevin a part of this too?”
Janus blinked. “Yes, how did you know that?”
“Yo-you’re going to have,” his sentence was broken by a giggle, and actual full-fledged giggle, “have to give me a minute.” With that, he sort of listed to the side and seemed to purposefully fall off his chair onto the floor under his desk.
Janus blinked and when he didn’t surface after a moment, he stood up to lean over the desk and look down at him. Virgil had his arm thrown over his beat red face, as he shook from what Janus thought was suppressed laughter.
 “What?” Janus asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Just…” Virgil said, sobbing through his laughter. “Just tell me the things he said.”
“Er, mostly he just had weird inflections on words and phrases. There was ‘paranoid, tonight, I live to party, comeback…’”
“Wait, stop,” Virgil said. “Let me guess a few. That’s Just the Way We Roll, Burnin’ Up, Sucker.”
“The first two were, but not the last one.”
Virgil laughed. “Maybe the last one was just implied.”
Janus frowned down. “What are you talking about? What does this all mean?”
Virgil pulled himself out from under his desk and grabbed his bag of phones. He dug through it for a few seconds before pulling one out and handing it to Janus. “I have a lab for my students where they get preloaded phones from the early 21st century and are supposed to guess the demographics of the person who owns it. This one is an iPhone 3 meant to belong to a pre-teen to teenage girl from the year 2009. Look under music artists starting with the letter ‘J.’”
15810
Confused, Janus scrolled through the old style phone, finding the music app and opening it easily. Upon getting to the ‘J’s, he immediately paused on an artist called the ‘Jonas Brothers.’ He clicked on it and read a few of the song titles. They weren’t all there, but…
“That rat bastard,” Janus said.
“Scroll to the bottom,” Virgil said. Janus did and found a song titled ‘Year 3000.’
“You’re kidding me.”
“Click on it,” Virgil requested.
Janus did, listening to the fairly standard pop like intro from the time period. It wasn’t until he got to the lyrics saying, ‘He told me he built a time machine’ that he cursed, understanding exactly what Pat had been doing. When the singer a few lines latter proclaimed that his neighbor said ‘I’ve been to the year 3000’ he almost smashed the artifact to pieces right then and there.
“I have no idea who this guy is,” Virgil said, “but he’s a comedic genius.”
 Chapter 11
Khalid caught him on his way back into the TPI building. “I heard you went to Silver Mountains to follow up on a lead,” she said.
“Yeah, but it was garbage,” he seethed. “All I learned was ‘Pat’ knows early 2000s popular culture and likes to fuck with us.”
She hummed. “I’d still like a report about whatever you found. Who knows what we might end up getting from seemingly inconsequential data.”
“Sure,” he said.
“Anyway,” she continued. “I have a mission for you.”
“We’re on lockdown,” Janus pointed out with a frown.
“For nonessentials,” she said. “This is essential.”
 “What happened?” Janus asked.
“We picked up a small time distortion in France 2027. At the moment, it is small enough not to cause any disruptions, but it is slowly growing, and we don’t know what caused it. Usually we’d just send surveillance agents at this stage, but considering what’s going on, I think it would be best to send a field agent. And it would just be you, because we don’t want to send too many people out at once.”
“Is this related to the time bomb?” Janus asked.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “At the very least, it’s not it being set off as it was in 2999, but if it’s been altered for some other purpose…”
 “I’ll go,” Janus said.
“I’ll send over the mission directive to everyone who needs it. You’ll go in around 3 hours.”
He nodded. “I’ll be ready,” he agreed.
In less then 3 hours, he was dressed for 2027 France and in decontamination. “Well,” he said out loud when he was given the all clear sign, “I hope I don’t explode.” He selected the coordinates on the timepiece and the next moment he was in a small alleyway in the city of Montpellier, France in 2027.
It was a little bit warm, but not stifling even in the mid-afternoon and he could faintly smell the sea on the breeze.
 After a moment to get his bearings, Janus made his way out of the alleyway and onto a small street. The street was lined with restaurants and shops as people went about their daily lives. He carefully integrated himself into the crowd and began weaving his way through them. He needed to find the source of the distortion but doing a quick scan with his timepiece told him there wasn’t any sign of it yet. He’d have to wait for it to act up.
For now, he decided to get slightly away from people by heading towards the river. He found a park that had benches along water.
 As he walked towards the river, he noticed a man on the bench, angled slightly away from Janus and looking out at the water. He immediately recognized the man. “You!” he exclaimed.
Pat’s head shot around to look at him, and he gave a slight head tilt. Then, he smiled, amused. “You are not the person I’m here for,” he said.
“Well, I am now,” Janus snapped. “Where’s the time bomb?”
“Time bomb?” Pat asked, eyebrows drawing together, but amusement on his lips. “Oh sweetie, the time bomb happened a long time ago for me.”
“What?” Janus asked.
“Oh, you’re just a baby,” Pat laughed. “Don’t you get it yet? The two of us are out of sync timeline wise. You’ve been apparently running around with a much younger version of me, but all of that happened quite a while ago for me. Don’t worry though, it gets better.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The time bomb has been long deactivated. Here,” he reached into his pocket and tossed him something. Janus caught it on instinct. “Proof. Don’t worry, we took all of the dangerous bits out years ago from my perspective.” It was the core of a time bomb, the time bomb Pat had stolen if he was to be believed. “You can tell your people it’s safe to remove the lockdown.”
Janus curled his fingers around it. “I don’t get it.”
Something on Pat’s wrist beeped and he looked at it curiously before he stood from the bench, “and I don’t have time to explain it.”
Janus jerked forward to grab his wrist. “Don’t you dare.”
Pat reached up to pat his face. “Don’t worry honey, you’ll be seeing me later.” He twisted his wrist and a small electric current sparked between them. Janus jerked his hand away, and Pat smiled at him. “Or… earlier.” He winked, and then he was gone.
Janus cursed, but he didn’t have more than a moment to be angry because in the next second there was a yelp, and something landed on top of him. He was bowled over into a tangle of limbs and pained noises.
“Oh my god, we need to figure out the height thing,” a familiar voice groaned, just as Janus managed to pull himself away. Pat blinked up at him and his eyes narrowed. “You,” he hissed.
“…What?”
 Pat jumped to his feet, leaving Janus on the ground in front of him. “What are you doing here?” he spat, his tone much different then the one he’d been using a moment earlier. His hair was longer than it had been before, and if Janus looked closely, he did seem like he was a couple of years younger suddenly. Out of sync timelines. I’ll see you earlier. Holy shit.
He was suddenly very glad he’d been forced to let the other Pat (the older Pat?) go, else they’d have a whole thing on their hands.
“What are you doing here?” was Janus’s retort as he stood up and dusted himself off.
 “It’s none of your business,” Pat told him.
“It is my business,” Janus said, “because for all I know, you are the cause of the time distortions I’m after. Considering that I doubt you have a license for that,” he waved at the odd looking timepiece of Pat’s wrist, “it’s very possible.”
“What are you?” Pat asked, “the time police.”
“Yes.”
Pat dared to roll his eyes, but then he tilted his head slightly. “Time distortions?” he asked.
“Yes, that’s why I’m here.”
He still had a confused frown on his face. Did… did he not know what a time distortion was?
 Just then there was a sudden flash of lightening through the sky despite the absolutely lack of clouds. He and Pat both looked up.
“Is that the time distortion?” Pat asked.
“It’s probably the beginning of it,” Janus said.
“That doesn’t look good,” Pat said as he squinted at the sky.
“Just wait,” Janus answered grimly. He looked at Pat. “Usually I’d arrest you on the spot,” he said, “but I’m alone for this one, and that is far more important at the moment. So, have a nice day doing whatever bullshit you are doing.” He glanced at his timepiece.
 Janus turned to walk away from him.
“Wait!” Pat exclaimed, and Janus turned back to him to see that his eyes were wide. Janus raised an eyebrow. “So, this time distortion thing is dangerous, right?”
“Depending on the severity, it could cause time to fracture around this place and time, basically erasing it from existence and killing everyone in it.”
“Well, in that case, I should go with you. To help.”
Janus looked him up and down. “You… have no idea what’s happening, do you? You’re an amateur.”
“I’m not,” he claimed. “I just. Pooling resources. You know?”
Janus sighed. “Well, you going around mucking about this time period without knowing what you’re doing could just exasperate the situation, so fine, you can tag along.”
“I know what I’m doing,” he grumbled even as he rushed to Janus’s side at the permission.
“Sure,” Janus said with an eyeroll. He guessed he was a babysitter now. “I believe you.”
 Chapter 12
There was something off about his readings. Clearly the time distortion was starting to pull at this place with the way the weather was flickering between storming and sunny, but he still couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact location of the source of it. He could, however, get that it must be somewhere on this side of the river more into the downtown area, so that’s the way he was walking, Pat close on his heels.
“What’s your name, by the way?” he asked.
Janus shot him a glare. “Elvis Presley,” he said.
Pat frowned, clearly knowing who that was. “There’s no reason to be mean.”
 “You did it to me first.”
“…Introduced myself as a famous musician?” he asked. Janus didn’t respond, and after a moment, Pat laughed lightly. “You really don’t understand time travel, do you?”
“Oh, yeah,” Janus said. “Name the three types of time distortions.”
“Just because I don’t know the names of things doesn’t mean I don’t understand them.” He stuck out his tongue. Janus was dealing with an actual toddler. “Unlike you who has a bunch of fancy words, but just caused a time loop.”
Janus scoffed. “I did not just cause a time loop.”
“Maybe not a big one,” Pat agreed, “but you did.”
 Janus raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never introduced myself to you with a musician’s name, but now you’ve told me that I will. So, at some point in the future I will have to, thereby making you think to say that now. Time loop.”
“That’s not… that doesn’t count.”
“Does too,” Pat claimed. “Like I have said once before and you may or may not have heard me say before, anything you do to me to get back at me for something I haven’t done yet, just causes whatever that is to happen in the first place.”
“But you’re still going to do it.”
 “Then take it up with future me. I haven’t done anything to you.” Then he paused and sighed. “…Which I guess means you’ve done nothing to me.” He seemed to mull this concept over for a long moment. “Well you were a bit crabby about me not knowing what a time distortion was, but I can forgive you for that.”
“And I’m supposed to forgive you?”
“Like I said,” Pat said. “I haven’t done anything yet.”
“You also haven’t done anything to endear yourself to me either,” Janus grumbled.
“Hmm,” Pat said. “Fine.” He pulled something out of his pocket. “You’re obviously not having much luck finding whatever you’re looking for. Tell me what it is and I’ll help.”
Janus squinted at what was in his hand. “Is that… an iPhone 5?”
“No!” he said. “It’s super-secret time travel tech disguised as an iPhone 5!”
“We’re in 2027,” Janus said. “Not a great disguise. Those things have been obsolete for a decade.”
“Well I’ll keep in mind to have my tech disguised as phones from the right year next time,” Pat said, sticking out his tongue. “Now what are we looking for?”
“If my timepiece can’t find it, I’m certain yours can’t.”
 Pat rolled his eyes and tapped on the device’s screen a couple of times. “I’m going to guess it’s that,” he said proudly.
Janus leaned over to look at the screen. “Are you using google maps?” he sputtered.
“It integrates time relevant data like traffic conditions and local weather warnings with time travel technology,” Pat explained. “Something seems to be going on in a museum a couple of blocks that way.”
“I…” Janus said. That was actually a really good idea, usually unnecessary with scouts observing that data beforehand, and Janus wasn’t sure how good the accuracy would be considering whatever was taking it into account was automated, but still a good idea. “Well, I guess since we have no other leads, we can check it out.”
 Pat looked far too proud for having only used a piece of tech that hadn’t even been confirmed as accurate. “Then, let’s go,” he said right as a chilly wind started to pick up and a couple of snowflakes began to fall around them. “Before that gets worse…”
Janus let Pat lead with his iPhone. Janus’s timepiece still wasn’t picking up a clear signal for some reason, but it seemed to point in the same general direction as Pat’s. Strangely though, as they got closer to their destination, the signal started to get fuzzier. Pat’s tech seemed unaffected leading them closer to the museum.
 When they got to the Musée Fabre museum, Janus stopped. “What?” Pat asked. He was shivering slightly in the cold and holding his arms around himself.
“My timepiece stopped working completely,” he said.
“I’m assuming that’s weird?” Pat said.
“It is,” Janus confirmed, turning to squint at him suspiciously. “How do I know you’re not the one doing it?”
“If I was doing it, wouldn’t I have just knocked it out from the get go?” Pat questioned.
Janus pursed his lips. “I don’t know,” he said. “Would you have? Maybe it’s a trick.”
Pat’s eyes narrowed a bit on him. “Think what you want, but I’m freezing. Come in with me if you want.”
 He dithered from a few moments before following Pat inside. Pat had already struck up a conversation with the woman charging admission into art museum. She was looking at him, her brow knit as he spoke. Janus nudged him away from her getting a confused glance from him in return. He shot a smile at the woman.
“Two adult passes for the museum and the Hotel Sabatier d’Espevran, please,” he said, placing down 14 euro.
“Ah,” she said, still looking at Pat oddly. “Yes sir.” She gave them the passes and Janus quickly shuffled Pat away.
“What is wrong with your French?” he hissed once they were out of earshot.
 “What?” he asked, bewildered.
“You sound like you’re reading Le Comte de Monte-Cristo. No one talks like that anymore.”
“I’m a little rusty,” Pat defended himself.
“Two centuries?” Janus asked. Pat stuck his tongue out like a child once again. “Is that your only way to respond to legitimate criticism?”
“What does it even matter anyway? No one ever expects time travel, at least not for something so silly.”
“It’s not silly,” Janus said. “It’s a legitimate issue. The wrong person who’s watched too much science fiction notices and you’re putting the timeline at risk. Not to mention if there are other time travelers around that aren’t as nice as me.”
 “Are there a lot of time travelers around?” Pat asked, sounding intrigued.
“There are plenty, both legal and not.”
“Huh,” he said, “but what are the chances we’ll run into another one?”
“Considering the time distortion? There could be many. Opportunists wanting to capitalize off the chaos, people trying to stop it, like me, and not to mention the person who caused it.”
“Wait, someone made it happen?” Pat asked.
“These things don’t just happen naturally.”
“Huh. So, something like this has to be caused by a person?”
“Yes,” Janus said. “…Why?”
Pat smiled. “No reason. I think we should head upstairs. Whatever I’m picking up says it’s around here, but I don’t see anything. Maybe it’s a floor or two above us.”
“Which is why it’s ridiculous to use Google Maps.”
 “Would you rather use yours?” he asked sweetly.
“I’m still not convinced it’s not your doing,” Janus growled. “Why does your tech still work when mine doesn’t?”
“Probably the same reason the ring did,” he muttered.
“What?”
“What?”
“You may be the most aggravating being in the universe.”
Pat glanced at him with a bit of a smirk. “I can’t tell you,” he said. “It would be a much bigger risk to the timeline than me speaking in French from the 1830s. But, I’m pretty sure the reason mine still works is just a software difference.”
“What the hell do you mean a software difference?”
 Pat opened his mouth, doubtlessly to supply him with yet another frustratingly cheeky and unhelpful answer. Yet, Pat did not have a chance to do so as, just as Janus stepped onto the second floor of the museum, the ground started to violently shake. Janus tried to turn to catch Pat as the other man’s foot slipped on the last step, but he couldn’t do so in time. Pat fell onto his hands and knees, sliding back a few steps and smacking his face into the stairs hard once and then a couple of times more after that as he slid.
 Chapter 13
The room stopped shaking after a moment. “Ow,” Pat said. He seemed a bit stunned but was still moving at least. He carefully maneuvered himself into a seating position. “Ouch. Owie.” He reached up to poke his own nose. “Ow!” Janus slapped his hand away when he got there. A bit of blood was already trickling from his nose and there was a small cut over his eye, but it wasn’t bleeding too much.
Janus pushed him so he was leaning slightly forward and produced a pack of time appropriate tissues from his pocket. He pulled one out of the package and offered it to him.
 He took it and pressed it up against his nose to try to stop the bleeding. He seemed mostly alright though Janus imagined he’d have plenty of bruises down the line. The power in the museum flickered and Janus looked up. Now that he was listening, he could hear people panicking in and out of the museum.
“We should probably get off of the stairs,” he suggested.
“Yeah,” Pat agreed. Janus helped him to his feet, and they climbed back up the steps. Janus looked around and found an employees only sign a few feet away. Usually he’d not risk that as it could get him into trouble he didn’t want to be in, but considering the earthquake that had just happened, he could probably play it off as panic.
 He ushered Pat into a small room and found a chair and table. He had Pat sit in the chair and pulled out another one of the tissues to dab at the blood coming from the cut over his eyes. “Here,” he said. “Hold that there. I’m going to go see if there are any bandages about.”
Pat took the tissue with the hand not already holding one to his nose. “Thanks,” he said.
Janus nodded and got to his feet. The lights flickered once again but didn’t stay off for now. He didn’t know how long that would last.
 He couldn’t see anything that might hold bandages in this room, but there was a second door. “I’ll be right back,” he told Pat, exiting through it.
The lights flickered once more as the door closed behind him and he cursed. When they came back up Janus’s eyes immediately fell on a man. They both froze.
“Remus!” Janus hissed the second their eyes met. “What are you doing here?”
Remus blinked at him for a moment. “Hi. Janus,” he said. “I… come to France for… tea sometimes?”
“There isn’t any tea back here.”
“So, there isn’t…” he said. There was a moment of silence. “Uh, so I actually cannot talk to you right now.”
 “What do you mean?” Janus asked. Remus grimaced in a way Janus had never seen from him before. It immediately set off alarm bells in Janus’s head. “Oh my god,” Janus said. “Oh my god. You’re not from the same time as me.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Remus mumbled.
“Holy shit, you’re looping?!”
“It’s… not looping if I wasn’t here the first time.”
“Remus, we spend more than 12 hours a day together most of the time. The only thing worse than this is if I looped back to this time myself.”
“…Yeah. Anyway, I need to leave now.”
“Please do.”
 He turned to go, but then stopped. “Oh, and,” he reached into his pocket and tossed something at Janus. Janus caught it.
It was Band-Aids.
“Oh, shit,” Janus spat at the clear use of foreknowledge. “I hate this. I hate you. I’m going to kill you the next time you see me.”
“Sure, Jan.”
“Go.”
He did, slipping into the next room while Janus took a deep breath and then turned back to the door behind him. He schooled his face before Pat looked up. “I found some Band-Aids.”
Pat nodded and Janus came over to squat next to him.
 Janus opened the box and Pat looked down. His eyes lit up with sudden joy so intense that Janus felt like he’d just gotten a punch to the gut. “Kitty Band-Aids!” he exclaimed. Janus bothered to actually look at the design on the container, only to note the cartoon cats on the front. Pat was almost vibrating off his seat. “Look they’re all so cute!” He grabbed the container from him to inspect the different designs printed on the back with glee even as a bit of blood was still trickling from his nose.
Janus took the box back gently and guided the wad of bloody Kleenexes back to his nose.
 “Which would you like?” Janus asked.
“Oh, they are all so cute,” Pat cooed. “Um, how about that one!” he pointed. “Or that one! Or that one!”
“Pat you only have one cut.”
“But they’re all so cute!” Pat said, tongue tucking into his cheek. He contemplated the box again. “Let’s do the black one,” he finally settled on.
Janus selected one of the Band-Aids with a black cat wrapped around a pink ball of yarn and staring back at them with wide green eyes. The think looked like it had partaken in one two many doses of catnip, but Janus didn’t mention that.
 Instead, he just carefully unstuck the backing from the Band-Aid and motioned for Pat to remove the tissue from his forehead. He smiled at Janus as he drew back.
Janus cleared his throat. “How’s the nose.”
“It’s slowing down,” Pat replied. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Janus replied. They met eyes for a second before Pat looked away back at the box of Band-Aids.
“Oh,” Pat said. “There’s a grey one. I didn’t notice.” He pointed to it. “I should have used that one.”
“Do you like grey cats?” Janus asked.
“I like all kitties,” he said, “but one of my roommates loves grey cats. He had one when he was a kid and thinks of them as good omens. Seeing one always brightens up his day.”
“A friend of mine has a grey cat,” Janus said. “She’s much more tolerable than him.”
Pat laughed a bit. “Don’t be mean,” he said.
“Oh, he deserves it, don’t worry.” Janus considered him for a moment. “Here,” he said, pulling out one of the Band-Aids with the grey cat on it. It did, actually, look a lot like Diesel Fuel.
“But I don’t…”
Janus just shrugged and stuck it on his cheek where there was no wound. Pat giggled and touched it with a finger. Janus stood back up.
“Can I have another tissue?” Pat asked.
“Sure.” Janus handed a tissue over to him and he crumpled up the bloody ones in his hand.
“I think I’m good to keep going,” Pat said, putting the new tissue under his nose. “The nose will stop soon.”
 Pat got out his iPhone and directed him back out of the room. They checked the second floor and didn’t find anything and so went to the third floor. The second they arrived in the room that Patton’s phone was directing them too, Janus knew that it must be right. There was a strange, distorted whirling sound and the entire room was shaking slightly like they were standing next to a railroad track.
“I’m guessing this is it,” Pat said.
Janus nodded and looked over his shoulder at the screen. They both cautiously walked towards where the little dot was on the phone.
 “Is that it?” Pat asked, pointing at a small device on the center column in the room. Janus reached forward to flip the switch on it. The whirling stopped and the room settled. Janus’s time piece vibrated as it came back online. They waited for a few moments. “I assumed… time distortions would be more…”
“They are,” Janus said. “This one is artificial.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s a simulation,” Janus said. “It causes similar symptoms to a time distortion, but it’s not actually fracturing time at all.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” Pat asked.
“I don’t know,” Janus said. He took the piece of tech of the wall and carefully stored it in his pocket, “but someone’s trying to get our attention.”
 Chapter 14
Janus didn’t feel comfortable leaving France 2027 just yet, still weirded out by the strange turn of events. So, he and Pat ended up sticking around for a couple of hours. They looked through the art museum for a bit, but Janus was having trouble focusing on the pieces, and Pat eventually suggested they get some air. Janus agreed considering the museum would close for the night soon anyway.
They wandered around the downtown for a bit. The people seemed to jump back from the strange weather and earthquake that afternoon rather quickly, and there were plenty still about to blend into.
 Pat was snapping photos every so often like a tourist which Janus shook his head at but allowed because even with the outdated phone it almost made them blend in even more. It also might stop any questions about Pat’s weird way of speaking French. They could just say he was an overeager tourist who watched too many old movies.
“Ooo!” Pat said. “We should get crepes.”
“Why?”
“You can’t go to France and not eat crepes.”
“I assure you, you can,” Janus said dryly.
Pat shot a pout at him and the next thing he knew he was in a small crepe shop.
 For Janus, choosing something was easy. He just ordered the first thing he found on the menu which seemed to be a standard one with ham and eggs. Pat on the other hand seemed to be struggling greatly, and Janus had to gently push him to the side to let some other customers order first.
“What should I get!?” Pat asked. “They all look so good! I could do strawberry preserves or maple syrup or just sugar!”
“Or you could get one that is actually food,” Janus suggested mildly. “I don’t think you need any more sugar judging by how you are acting.”
Pat rolled his eyes. “You sound like Lo.”
 Janus made a note of the name ‘Lo’ even though it surely was a nickname.
“But, since you’re insisting, I’ll get something healthy. I’ll have the strawberry one. That’s a fruit!”
“It comes with a cream cheese filling,” Janus pointed out.
“And it’s fruit!”
Janus shook his head and stepped up to the counter. “One ham and cheese and one strawberry preserve, please,” he said to the cashier as he was not allowing Patton to order in French and accidently say something stupid. He forked over some euros.
“You don’t have to pay for me,” Patton protested when he saw that.
Janus glanced back at him. “I was afraid you’d try to pay in francs,” he said dryly.
 It looked like Pat was about to stick his tongue out at him, remembered that Janus had criticized him for that earlier, and then just scrunched up his face in displeasure as though that was any less childish.
They waited for their crepes to be finished and then went to eat them outside near a water fountain.
“I can pay you back for the crepe,” Pat said after they sat down. “I do actually have euros.”
Janus waved him off. “It wasn’t that expensive.”
Pat hummed. “Well, in that case. I insist on paying for a wish for you.” Janus raised an eyebrow. “In the fountain!” Pat clarified.
 Pat set aside his crepe to dig in his pocket for a couple of coins. “Here!” he said handing one over.
Janus glanced over at the fountain. “No.”
“Oh, come on,” Pat beseeched. “You have to want something. I’ll even throw it in for you, but you have to make a wish first!”
“No.”
“Please!”
Janus sighed. “Fine.” He popped the rest of his crepe in his mouth. “I wish for a crepe,” he said after swallowing.
“You just had a crepe, silly.”
“But I liked it, so I want another one.”
“We can go back and get you another crepe.”
“Ah, but I’m not hungry anymore.”
Pat crossed his arms. “You’re just being difficult on purpose.”
 “Not me,” Janus said putting hand over his heart. “I would never do something like that.”
 Pat glared at him, but then snatched the coin out of his hand. “Fine!” he said. “One crepe wish coming right up.” He hopped up with the two coins and darted over to the water fountain. Janus turned to watch him go but then happened to catch sight of something out of the corner of his eyes.
Pat’s phone.
He didn’t pause in his movement, completing the turn, but as he watched Pat close his eyes, presumably to focus on his own wish, Janus snuck a hand out and grabbed the phone without looking. He slipped it into his own pocket.
 Pat came back over after throwing both coins in the fountain and didn’t even seem to notice that his phone was missing, picking up his crepe to take another bite. Just to make sure, though Janus decided to distract him. “What do you think of your crepe?” Janus asked.
“I like it! It’s sweet, but not too sweet. There was a crepe place across the street from my apartment in college, but they always put a bit too much sugar in the dough, I think. I’d still eat them, but these are much better.”
Janus nodded and kept up the light conversation until Pat was finished.
21088
“Well,” he said then, getting to his feet. “It seems that nothing else is going to happen regarding the time distortion. I should be getting back.”
Pat hummed. “I should too. It’s movie night!”
“I probably should arrest you,” Janus noted.
“In the middle of all of these people?” Pat asked mildly.
“Touché,” Janus said.
Pat gasped and pointed at him. “Pun!” he said. Janus blinked at him. “Because we’re in France! That’s French!”
“…Goodbye Pat,” Janus said, turning to walk away from him.
“Goodbye… wait I still don’t know your name!”
Janus stopped to look back at him for a moment. “Like I said,” he replied. “Elvis.”
“Fine,” Pat said. “Au revoir, mon chéri.”
“You never stop, do you?” Janus asked.
Patton giggled. “Considering I don’t know what you mean, I imagine I’m just getting started.”
Janus actually left then, walking off towards the alley he’d first arrived in. In some ways, the mission had been a bust, but in others it had gone very well.
He felt for the weight of the phone in his pocket before pulling up the display screen on his timepiece to go back to the TPI.
It had gone very well indeed.
 Chapter 15
The first thing Janus had done when he’d returned to the TPI was hand over the timebomb to Khalid who sent it to forensics. Within the hour, forensics got back to them that it was the same timebomb as 2999 and that it had never exploded, but simply been diffused. Which meant, blessings on blessings, everyone got to go home that night.
 Not that Janus went home, no, he ended up falling asleep on his desk somewhere between 3 and 4am, but at least he wasn’t sharing his space with anyone. He’d been trying to hack the cell phone all night to see if it had anything he could use, but he honestly had no idea what he was doing. All it seemed he could do was play some annoying song over and over again about never giving someone up. At around 2am, he’d finally broken and sent off an email, though, he’d continued to try to mess with it after that.
 He got woken up by Lena coming into the office at 7am, and noticed he already had an email response asking when Janus wanted to come in.
“Now?” he sent back.
“…Do you sleep?” was the immediate response. “And yes.”
His wrist buzzed as an appointment in 5 seconds downloaded to his timepiece. He selected the coordinates and landed at Cultural Outreach. The receptionist blinked up at him and then back down at the screen on his desk. “Oh!” he said. “I didn’t see this appointment. I think Professor Eran is in his office.”
He didn’t stand to escort Janus this time, so Janus went ahead and went down the hall to Virgil’s office himself.
 He knocked on the door and while he was waiting for Virgil to open it, the infernal contraption once again started to play the same stupid song.
“I didn’t even touch you!” he spat, getting it out and tapping on the screen.
“Jonas Brothers dude again?” Virgil asked causally upon opening the door.
Janus shoved it at him. “Make it stop.”
Virgil took it and fiddled with it for a few moments before it stopped with the song. “Oh my gosh,” he said scrolling through something on the screen.
“What.”
“What maniac sets a custom alarm for every 30-60 minutes for a week that just plays ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’? Oh, and one ‘It’s Not Unusual’ on Saturday. He’s mixing memes at an alarming rate.”
 “Can you. Just. Make it not happen. Anymore?”
Virgil smirked at him. “Maybe.” He turned around to go back into his office.
“Virgil,” Janus growled following him in.
Virgil just laughed. “What do you want to know about it?” he asked. “Just a fair warning… the song means he… likely was aware someone would steal it.”
“Of course, he was,” Janus groaned.
“But I’m sure we can still get something out of it.” Virgil started tapping at the screen again. “Okay, let’s see. It’s an iPhone 5, and someone jailbroke it.”
“What does that mean?”
“Tampered with it so they could install non-company approved software,” Virgil explained.
“Well I figured that since he was using Google Maps to track time distortions,” Janus grumbled.
 “I think I have something,” Virgil said to himself while digging through his desk. “Ah ha!” He held up some sort of cord. “This will let me hook it up to my integrator.” He slotted the cord into the bottom of the iPhone and then crawled under his desk to fiddle around with some other things. “There we go,” Virgil said popping back up. “It might take a few minutes. Running the program any faster might overheat the phone.”
Janus nodded and sat back to wait. Virgil grabbed the phone and started to play around with it a bit even as it uploaded all of its information to his computer.
“Weird,” Virgil said after a moment.
“What?” Janus asked, sitting up straighter.
“There are exactly two contacts. Fewer than I’d anticipate for a regular phone from the 2010s. More than I would expect from one clearly not being used as a phone.
 Virgil glanced to the side, and it must have finished the download because he unhooked it from the computer. “I have a 21st century phone network adapter,” Virgil said. “It transfers call back to whatever date the phone says. Do you want to try calling one?”
“It’s worth a shot,” Janus replied.
Virgil dug back into his desk for a small device that he plugged into the same port he’d plugged the earlier cord. “Okay, which contact do you want to try first?” he asked. “One has ‘Ro’ with a crown, red heart, and a gold star emoji. The other has “Lo” with a book, blue heart, and Milky Way emoji.”
 “He mentioned a Lo,” Janus said. “So, try him first.”
Virgil nodded. “I’ll put it on speaker.” He pressed some buttons before setting the phone on the desk between them.
The phone rang three times before with a bit of a crackle, it was answered. “Salutations,” a voice said, voice sounding a bit scratchy as though he had only just gotten up.
Virgil motioned with his head for Janus to speak. “Are you ‘Lo’?” he asked.
The man hummed. “To some people.”
Janus… didn’t quite know what to say to that, or even what questions he should ask.
“I’m assuming you’re the man that stole my associate’s phone.”
49 notes · View notes
murdersexual · 3 years
Note
So about that part II to that LeoPika fic? 👀👀👀
WTF, BOI THIS IS TRASH! Stop torturing me, my writing is t r a s h.
🚨Warning!🚨
-Rated MA.
-Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Gambling and Gun Violence.
-NOT PROOFREAD! (Like I write shit on a tired 3am brain...)
-NICKNAMES: Koi Fish/Fishie/Fishy: Leorio. Smol Ram or whatever else I used: Kurapika.
-Sorry for any potential OOC bullshit- 🤣🤣🤣
-Sorry but not sorry for Melody- 👀😤🤣
Part II: The Whims of Fate:
Melody didn’t know how to feel, her eyes grew to the size of saucers as she saw how fast Leorio was moving. She backed away, now hanging her phone up, she tries to make her escape via the glass door elevator. Her tiny chubby hand desperately clicks onto the up button. Her own heart played a melody of guilt and fear. But that’s what you get when you snitch.
‘I-I gotta get outta here!’
“MELODY!”
The way Leorio’s voice projected echoed across the entirety of the sixth floor. Hearing him yell like that shook her to her core in more than just one way. She drew a shaky breath and her eyes flicker to the angry hazel eyed hunter and back to the elevator that seems to be moving in slow motion.
“Come on... C-Come on!”
Impatience coats her voice as she now stands directly in front of the door.
“I KNOW YOU HEAR ME!! HOW CAN’T YOU?!”
His voice boomed once more, his soft hair now waving over one of his eyes only for him to use his left hand to push it out of the way. Now he’s even more pissed... Why?
Because she ruined his ‘SURPRISE MOTHAFUCKAH’—in other words, his grand entrance.
Yet because she absolutely is f o n d of Kurapika, she’d do anything to protect him. How adorable. Maybe there’s something else that lingers in her actions...
“Why are you here, Leorio?!”
Finally, she projects her voice even though that nervousness is still present. Just as she asks that, Leorio steps in front of her. The elevator clicks open and he takes her by her collar and shoves her into it.
“WHY?!”
Obviously, she avoided the question. He KNEW she knew why he was there otherwise she would’ve given him a friendly greeting and not snitch. Her onyx orbs bore into his icy gaze. She could hear the anger emitting from his heart and she ended up closing her ears and shutting her eyes.
“Be-Because you shouldn’t be here!”
Her answer made him wonder... Yet, he didn’t release her collar. His hold can be compared to that of a death grip.
“Urgh! That ain’t tellin’ me shit! I oughta throw your ass in the fucking fountain for snitching!”
Leorio’s hands are rated E for Everybody. Meaning he WILL absolutely drop a woman off if necessary.
“I... I-! My lips are sealed! Now unhand me!”
The infamous saying that typically gets passed about when classified information is detailed to anyone that’s within a Mafia. Upon hearing that, he roughly shoves her away, the back of her head slightly bouncing off of the elevator railing.
“Ow...”
A hiss of pain left Melody, a glare is given to him as she now reaches inside her tuxedo jacket for her brand new revolver but she stops just as she places her hand on the handle.
“Do it if you’re bad...”
The entire scenario played in her head had she shot him. Her eyes blinked multiple times—seeing her death being played out in several different perspectives. Lowering her head in defeat, she adjusts her fedora and finally tells him...
“8th floor, Roulette Table number 403.”
Huh, does that number ring a damn bell?
Pressing the fancy gold button with the bold number 8 on it, a scoff emits from the fish as he now stands to the side with his eyes forward. Putting his hands in his pockets and standing coolly, he sighs while tapping his foot impatiently.
“Hmph... Ya could’ve just told me that shit from the beginning and I wouldn’t have to damn near rough you up.”
Staring at her shiny black small heeled Oxford tux shoes, she blinks while taking a second to realise that there’s always an easier way to do things. Why didn’t she play it cool? Could she have lied about this? Did her feelings cloud her judgment?
“And that I could’ve but had the circumstances been different? Then by all means. You really... REALLY shouldn’t be here...”
Nothing annoyed him more than to hear those words without no fucking why to follow. Deep down, he believes she’s probably the only one concerned about the type of trouble he’d get himself in. That or maybe there’s a hint of jealousy?
“I will only say this for the simple fact that your heart reflects impatience and curiosity: It’s for your own good. If you get mixed with any of the other families? Who will be there to save you? Nobody.”
A smirk curves onto his face, now recalling how he’s caused a lot of inconvenience on the second floor all the way up. He softly chuckles, his head dropping for a second. The doors chime and open as they reach the eighth floor. Walking out first and turning to face Melody, he gives a shrug before backing away.
“Who’s to say that I haven’t already stirred the whims of fate~?”
Melody’s breath hitches in her throat, her eyes widening only for her to smirk and watch him with softened eyes.
“You’re dressed like a really handsome Devil tonight, that told me enough, Mr. Leorio~”
Looking over his shoulder briefly, he waves his hand.
“Just call me Leorio! But don’t think I’m gonna forget that you’ve snitched! I’m letting you off easy because I gotta conserve energy for this fucker!”
Momentarily, she found herself chasing after that Angel in Disguise. Shaking her head quickly with a soft blush, she clicks the number six and heads back to her post.
‘I always find myself attracted to those with charisma that’s relative to that of the Devil himself~ I must say, had my looks never been deformed, I’m sure I’d play him a melody that even he would have a hard time forgetting.’
The doors closed and she was gone.
Finding himself standing just before the entrance. His hazel gaze softened as he felt some feminine hands reach up to his shoulders.
“Welcome~ Shall I take your coat sire~?”
Glancing behind him, he sees a ginger bunny babe with the sweetest of smiles. He took out his favourite pocketknife and placed it in his blazer’s inner breast-pocket. He already has his wallet and keys in his pants pocket. Slipping out of his heavy winter coat, he carefully hands it to her.
“Hello there~ And why I thank you. You’re too sweet~”
She winks now sauntering away. His eyes instantly found those well rounded and pale ass cheeks of her’s. He gave a nod of approval while reaching for a cup of vodka topped with cranberry. He sips it and stuffs his freehand in his pocket.
‘Hmm...’
“Where should I start~?”
Mischief rang as he asked himself aloud. Proceeding to walk forward, he sees the blue and violet ambience, the music is A1–fun and enticing. Hell, everything all the way down to the alcohol is excellent. His eyes found the slots and just as he did on the second floor, he walks on over and leans over an older man with salt and pepper hair. He appears concentrated...
“Say, excuse me, fine sir?”
Looking to the tall youngster, he tilts his head while taking out his fancy Cuban cigar.
“What is it, Young Buck?”
With a pleasant smile he gently leans down, taking his hand out of his pocket he points to the slot screen.
“Watch the last two reels... Those move faster than the middle ones... Why do you think it’s so hard to hit the jackpot?”
With a smile, the man nods and daps him up. He adjusts his suspenders and pulls the lever.
“Thank you, son! How can I ever repay ya?”
Shaking his head no, Leorio stands straight and chuckles.
“Oh no, there’s no need, it’s what I love to do, especially as a birthday gift to myself.”
Raising both brows at his benevolence, the old man pulls out a wad of cash and calls over some of the Bunnies.
“Well I’ll be damned! Happy Birthday my boy! Ladies! Treat this young man to the finest of drinks, on me, Don Magnifico!”
Two of the girls hook around each of Leorio’s arms, his eyes instantly finding their perked up breasts, he smiles and looks back at him.
“I won’t forget your kindness, Don Magnifico!”
Don Marcelo Magnifico, age 52, standing at 6’2, still maintaining his muscle, he is one of the many Mafia Leaders who aren’t fond of other families. He’s widely known within the Underground community for his foreign cuisine and weapons import. The man has literally built a ‘Little Italy’ within Yorknew. He sees something within Leorio and he hopes to potentially get to him. Maybe he can find him a spot amongst his ranks?
From the sidelines, there are a familiar set of eyes that’s seen the entire exchange. With a dreaded sigh, the usually lax blondie found himself making tracks to the bar. Was his mind truly prepared to deal with the aggro fish?
Partially...
He gives a few taps to one of the ladies, he whispers for her to take his place momentarily at the Roulette Table. With a nod of confidence, she hopples over to take his place. Now Kurapika’s off to meet Leorio at the bar. Caution bells tolled in his head the closer he came and just as their eyes met?
The cheery and flustered face of Leorio’s instantly darkened. His lips wore that angry pout. He took one of the shots down without never taking his eyes off of him. Nearly stopping for a second, those light grey eyes momentarily averted. He could sense that rage...
“Well, well, well... Look what the cat dragged in...”
That came out so dark...
Sitting beside the angry fish is a quietly sighing Kurapika. He leans into his left hand and uses his right to snag a shot glass only to trace the rim of it.
“So what’s the fucking excuse this time? Huh?”
“There are none...”
Taken back by his honesty, those hazel eyes searched around as he hums for he’s in thought.
“Oh that’s fucking funny because I could’ve sworn you were gonna say that ol’ excuse you always say! I was expecting that shit! Did you purposely fucking forget or what?”
The idea of being chewed out never sat well with Kurapika. Most of the time, his words were hitting him in the side of his head. Finally taking that shot down and turning to face him, he scoots closer to the edge of his seat.
“Well, go on...”
He was setting himself up to actually get hit this time around. Perhaps he genuinely saw how hurt Leorio is. Why not give him what he’s always wanted right?
“I would never forget any special occasions and I would never miss anything important... I’m honestly tired. I’m sick of the lies, I’m sick of being the one trying to hold on, I’m sick of fucking trying to be the good fucking friend... At this point, I think I’m being taken for fucking granted and I ain’t got time. I’m here to tell your punk ass that you wanna do shit alone? You wanna be okay on your own? Fine. Fine. FINE! I’m done caring...”
Hearing these words made Kurapika wonder... Is he saying this out of complete anger? Or does he truly mean it? Either way, guilt was going to eat at him. Before he could combat his words, Leorio shook his head no.
“Save your petty fucking apologies... I don’t want them. I don’t need to put up with this shit. I know it’s gonna sound bad but how the fuck are Gon and Killua better fucking friends and their younger than the both of us? Fucking children. Ya hear me? Both of them called me and told me happy birthday and they’re always checking up on me... And what the fuck are you doing? Pretending that none of us exist! So you might as well lose my fucking number. This is the last time I’m gonna ever see that pathetically sheepish face of yours.”
At the moment, the fact that any of this is being said kept anything from conjuring—thoughts, retorts and anything else. That usually stoic face started to finally falter. One of his fears was this happening but he would never come to say it.
“Oh yeah? Don’t think I won’t pass up the opportunity to knock your ass into next week!”
Cracking his knuckles then drawing back his arm, he quickly cocks it, totally not caring that he may get shot, he will land that punch.
Or so he thought...
His fist was caught! Those ombré nails instantly dug into Leorio’s soft flesh. The slightest of hisses had emitted.
“At first I felt bad, but the fact that you had the absolute audacity to question my loyalty made me retract that privilege. All you do is bitch and I don’t want to hear it. You ask too many questions... Questions that if I answer may or may not put you in danger. So sorry if I’m choosing to be distant but given my position, I don’t particularly have as much free will like you do. Am I making excuses? No, I don’t make any and never will... I hate explaining myself... but because you obviously need a frequent fucking reminder, it can’t be helped.”
Leorio felt his eye twitch. He can’t find himself agitated!
“Let me—!”
Holding a finger up with his free hand, those light grey eyes had a faint red glint. But never did they leave those icy hazel ones.
“No, you’ve had your time to speak. One thing that always irritates me is how you up and assume that I don’t fucking care... When I do! So answer me this...”
Those nails pressed further and further into his skin, he even started to bend that fist of his back. Leorio did his best not to flinch.
“What time is it? Because on my watch I have... 10:21...”
Finally releasing his fist and blinking his gaze closed for a second to recenter himself, he leans back into his left hand before slowly looking to him. Leorio saw the claw marks and he couldn’t believe he was bleeding.
“...Meaning that your birthday isn’t over yet... But since you’re here, there’s no need to text nor call... So... Happy Birthday.”
That icy gaze of his warmed up instantly. He looks away for a second, his eyes appearing to search for the words he wanted to say.
“Ahem... I... One thing I’ve hated about your ass is how you gotta explain shit to me like I’m not detail oriented! But it still sounds like you’re making excuses... I don’t care what you say! Despite you didn’t apologise, you’re still giving yourself a fucking gateway to do the same old goofy shit. Time and time again, you don’t know how frustrating it is... Hence why... I just don’t care anymore. Sure, you’ve given me the words I wanted to hear, but it only takes less than a minute to fucking text. And no, I don’t give a fuck about you’re little ‘position’.”
Downing a shot before sliding over his birthday drink in front of him. Leorio rolls his eyes dismissively, now stirring his straw before sipping it.
“Hell I could be Prime Minister for all I give a fuck and it wouldn’t stop me from checking on my friends... Buuuuuttttt I guess I’m the only one who feels like that huh? Oh correction: ‘who FELT like that’...”
In all honesty, what could Kurapika say? Was Leorio really about to give up?
Recognising his silence, that hazel gaze narrows at him. His lip turns up, a look of unimpression decorates his face. He shakes his head in pity.
“Thought so...”
Facing the still upset fishy, the blondie sees his face and wonders how will he cope without seeing or hearing from him again? Slipping out of his chair, he softly chews on his bottom lip while thinking of something that he could do or say... These kinds of situations aren't his strong suit, obviously.
“Before you leave and never come back, there is something I’d like to show you... It’s not that impressive but hopefully it’ll show you that I don’t turn a blind eye to any of your advances.”
Raising an eyebrow, Leorio saw what he thought he’d never see and that’s...
That he’s genuinely afraid of losing him.
🚨🚨🚨
Okay so that’s it for part II. 😞😞😞 I really such at writing. But it’s an escape for my creativity. Hope you guys find it slightly entertaining! Thanks for reading and remember to stay hydrated and wonderful! 🥰
8 notes · View notes
baddadjokez · 5 years
Text
514 Dad Jokes
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.​I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.​Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.​Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!​I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.​What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.​How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.​I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.​Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.​I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.​My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.​Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.​How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.​What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.​Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.​There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.​What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.​What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.​Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.​Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.​What do you call a french pig? Porque.​What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.​Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.​How do trees access the internet? They log on.​Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.​Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.​The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.​I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.​I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.​I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.​Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.​I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.​Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.​Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.​I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.​The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.​What does a house wear? A dress.​Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.​I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.​Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.​Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.​What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.​A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.​What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!​What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.​At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!​An untalented gymast walks into a bar.​Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.​I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.​My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.​Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.​Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?​Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.​Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.​The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.​Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.​My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.​Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.​Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.​Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.​Models of dragons are not to scale.​Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.​Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.​Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.​A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.​I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.​People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.​Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.​I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.​I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.​What do you call a young musician? A minor.​Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.​If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?​I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.​Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.​I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.​I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.​I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.​I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.​Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.​What do you mean June is over? Julying.​Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.​These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.​The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.​Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.​Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.​A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!​I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.​The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.​My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.​I, for one, like Roman numerals.​How do mountains see? They peak.​The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.​This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!​Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.​I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.​The earth's rotation really makes my day.​If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?​Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.​Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.​What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.​I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.​After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.​Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.​A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.​I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.​He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.​Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.​Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.​If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.​I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.​A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.​The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.​Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.​If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?​I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.​Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.​I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.​The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.​The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor​I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.​The display of still-life art was not at all moving!​On Halloween October is nearly Octover.​Pig puns are so boaring.​Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.​What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.​What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.​How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.​Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.​The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.​What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.​One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."​How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.​When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.​When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.​If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"​Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.​If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.​Can February March? No, but April May.​I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.​What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.​The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.​So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!​Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.​A backwards poem writes inverse.​Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.​I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.​The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.​Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.​There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.​I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.​Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.​The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.​Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!​When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.​Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.​The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.​Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.​I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.​What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.​Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.​When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.​Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.​Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.​You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!​Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!​I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.​Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!​What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!​Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.​The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.​A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.​The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.​All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.​Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.​Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.​I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.​The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.​The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.​Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.​That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.​Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.​Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.​People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.​I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.​What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.​What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!​Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.​Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!​I really look up to my tall friends.​I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.​Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.​It takes guts to make a sausage.​Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!​What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!​How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it​What do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!​Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the mooooo-vies!​What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? C’mon, ketchup!​Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t “peeling” well!​What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?​Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with!​What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr!​What does a piece of toast wear to bed? His pa-JAM-as!​What does one eye say to the other eye? Something between us smells​Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!​What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up!​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!​Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert? Because he was stuffed!​Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating? Because the ice might crack up!​What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!​What’s mommy and daddy’s favorite ride at the carnival? A married-go-round!​How did Cookie Monster feel after eating all the cookies? Pretty crummy!​What do you call a skunk who flies in a helicopter? A smelly-copter!​What do you get when you shake a cow? A milkshake!​How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!​Why did the bee get married? Because she found her honey!​What did the ocean say to their airplane? Nothing, it just waved!​Where do eskimo pigs live? In pig-loos.​What’s a dinosaur called when it’s sleeping? A dino-snore!​What did the cookie say to the annoying cookie? Crumb on!​Why did Mickey Mouse go up in space? To find Pluto!​What does Olaf eat for lunch? Icebergers!​What letter is always wet? The C!​How do you throw a space party? You planet.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​Nope. Unintended.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​The broom swept the nation away.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”​Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.​What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.
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alitheamateur · 5 years
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The Grind-Chapter 28
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The eve of fight night fell, and Colton was exhibiting extremely peculiar behavior. Not a bad type of peculiar necessarily, but the man just wasn’t his usual self. When I woke up to head for a swim at Temple, the bed was empty on his side and he hadn’t left a note, or word with my parents as to where he disappeared off to. In fact, according to mom, he must’ve left the house before 6 a.m. when she and dad left for their walk. It was a routine they had with the dog back home, and they had been continuing the morning exercise while on their visit to the city.
When I got to my locker at the gym, there was a single Peony taped to the handle, and a square yellow note tied to it’s stem. The easily identified chicken scratch belonged to the missing man in question, so I tore it open jaggedly to gather some answers.
   Livvy,
Enjoy your swim, & don’t you dare think of doing anything in the weight room. I told Cal to watch you. You have a noon appointment with that girl who does your hair, & a 10 a.m. massage too. I have some stuff to take care of today but be at home and dressed by 6 tonight. Wear that white dress I like.  The one from that party at the Pilot a couple months ago. And don’t eat. I’ll check in later. I LOVE YOU
C
Colton had been a lot of things the last year, but romantic was a new side. He rendered me speechless from heartbreak, pleasure, and laughter on a fair amount of occasions, but this was unfamiliar lands.  Never did I believe such a cynical, wild, tormented soul like his could conjure up the cleverness or the desire to throw together whatever plan he had in the works. But I’d obey the orders, and call mom to steam the crisp white, ankle-length, summer gown he referred to from the office gala event he suffered through as my plus-one, and it’s also the first instance he suckered me into bathroom sex in the family stall. The thin, flesh-hugging stretch of the drapery curved into me, and the low-cut of the back allowed him a subtle peep-show during the owners speech, which had him nearly feverish for a taste of me before the main course was served. I was chatting with Ryan who was seated at our dinner table, when Colton told me I looked a bit peaked and needed a few minutes of good ol’ fresh air. Thoroughly confused, I followed his lead as he took my hand guiding me through the bar area into the public pavilion of the venue. The details are a bit foggy, but I can’t forget the memory of his thirsty tongue licking a bead of summertime sweat from the valley between my breasts.
I concluded on returning to my natural blonde look at the salon, and sang the praises of the on-staff masseuse at SJS Salon on my way out the door. The unwind of my slow laps in the therapy pool, and the exceptional massage had me exuding peaceful relaxation. After the continual sessions’ day & night at the gym, in the cage, in the weight room, at the Pilot, some self-love and spa time was the perfect prescription for a Zen Liv. And I wanted all my tensions free and clear before I met up with Colton for this mysterious evening ahead, so I could fully enjoy the company of my perfectly imperfect companion. Wherever the pathway of our evening led, I knew I’d retire home once it was said and done feeling cherished, and probably horny.
I was puckering to smooth out a plentiful layer of rose-shaded smudge proof lipstick at my lighted vanity when I saw my mother peep around the unlatched door. I looked away from my own reflection to see hers smiling back at me from over my shoulder, as she brushed my hair back curious to discover my earring choice. This overly-feminine, lady-like and sophisticated side of her only child was a glimpse of the daughter she wanted 10 years ago when I was wearing sweats to school every day, and only wore heels for prom or homecoming dances. Mom stayed dressed to the nines every day of the week whether it be a run to the post-office or even a check of the mailbox, so seeing the vision of herself even more so in me now with sleek hair, and a posh taste in stilettos was probably the proudest she had been in a decade.
“Honey, you look excellent! Your little nose healed up just perfectly too, I see.”
Of course, mother. That’s what most important, ay’?
“Yep. It feels fine now. Thanks, mom.” I pursed my mouth, tucking both lips in a stark line and misted a lavish amount of Colton’s favorite perfume onto the exposure of my neck.
“Do you have any ideas what Colton has planned for you? You’re dressed awfully formal.” My mother asked turning her head to survey the final touches of accessory to my ensemble.
“He told me what to wear, and when to be ready to go, so that’s about the most I’m aware of. He’s been pretty shady today. And we both know he’s developed a keen talent for lying lately, seeing as how he managed to get you and daddy here.”
The last text I received from him at 2 o’clock that afternoon was a strange selfie of he and Andrew at the forefront of an impressive Styrofoam cup pyramid they’d apparently built on the display counter at The Grind. Those two had become quite the odd pairing lately, but I was happy Colton jived so well with at least one of my friends. I assumed he just went by the shop for his usual black coffee to-go, and Drew simply asked his assistance on a new merchandise display, which turned into the two of them goofing.
Mom checked her waterproof, step counting watch for the time as she followed be into the bedroom I shared with Colton. “It’s 5 minutes to 6 right now, Livvy. Have you talked to him?”
My heels clacked when transitioning from the carpet, to the tile down the hall. I clicked the unlock button of my cell to place a call to the very man sitting on an arm of the couch in an open stance, with those hefty forearms pushing in his knees. He stood upon hearing the soft tick of my heels step over the rug under the coffee table, and I was able to get a much desired, exploratory look at the very, very surprising dapper two-piece suit he sported. It was an oxford blue, atop a slightly wrinkled button-down shirt that he left casually, and very appealingly gaping open just enough to taunt me with his pecks. He was explicitly, lethal and delicious in the foreign dress of any sort of formal attire. Maybe more so even than those perfectly snug gray sweats I pulled off him on many an ‘afternoon delight’ occasion. That is, assuming I have to have him clothed at all.  
“Well hello there, Mr. Ritter. Someone is looking exceptionally handsome tonight, I see. I must say you wear this look well, babe.” I admired, pulling on the lapels of his jacket to situate the wrinkle of his shirt. I tenderly grazed a manicured nail over the freshly shaved goosebumps of his neck, and smiled romantically looking up to him under extended lashes.
“You two enjoy yourselves! Tony and I are going to grab some dinner, and we’ll lock up when we get back. I’m sure it’ll be a late night for you guys,” mom spoke up, still standing behind me undetected. Colton tilted around me to smile appreciatively at her before she turned in pursuit of the spare room where dad was napping.
“Will you ever walk into a room ‘n not instantly have me wantin’ to rip off whatever you wearin’, baby? You look…you look fuckin’ perfect, Liv. I mean that.” He fiddled with the every-day, dainty, gold letter pendant I wore as he spoke, then touched his pointer finger to the heart-shaped opening at the center of my satiny lips.
I wondered reasonably if we’d ever even make it passed the 4 walls of our bedroom seeing the adamant, alluding examinations we were trading in the silence of our family room.
“As long as you promise to replace whatever it is you just have to rip off, then be my guest by all means.” I popped one shoe-covered foot into the air, and boosted up on the other desperate to touch myself to his mouth.
“Get. The hell. Out. That. Door. Now. With ya’ teasin’ little ass.” Colton palmed the front of my dress to clutch over the warmness of my womanly center.
We altered his plan a bit, and decided my car would be the most practical option for transportation considering the height of my designer heels. Once we exited the driveway, I couldn’t help but blast him with pestering questions, and chatting.
“Just sit tight, ‘ight. We ain’t far. You can hold out a few minutes, Livvy. A surprise here ‘n there ain’t gonna kill ya’.”
I unhappily sat tight as advised and waited a drawn out 10-minute car ride that steered us to a parking meter on the street near The Grinds’ entrance on the sidewalk. The white light of the ‘open’ sign that would’ve typically been plugged in the window was powered off, along with the appearance of any other lights, or evidence of business behind the door.
“Colt? What are w-“
“No more questions, okay? Hold on.”
I watched him shove my keys from the ignition inside the pocket lining of his coat, to jog around and assist me from the passenger seat onto the concrete walkway.  I smelled something fishy, but I couldn’t place a sure finger on it just yet. With one arm clinging around my average size waist and the other holding my hand, we waited for the street sign to change then scurried along the crosswalk. Colton confirmed the time on his watch just as he gestured me to enter the strange darkness of the generally busy coffee shop.  
I couldn’t move much passed the entry mat laying in front of the doorway due to the pitch darkness of the room, so I waited intriguingly for my next instructions. Colton moved in behind me and stepped straight for the location of the light switch he was apparently familiar with. Rather than the hardwired overhead lights of the café igniting with the flipping on of electricity, twinkling, warm garden decorations on green strands taking their place. The dusky glow hanging over our heads bared a table for two waiting empty in the middle of the open floor, and some sort of urbane, bubbly beverage sweating inside a tin bucket of ice. Calm, lazy melodious music struck up, and I finally escaped my confusion to scan for Colton.
“These a’ for you, baby. The best, for the best.”
He offered me a familiar a pink, fluffy bouquet which had become his apparent staple over the last year, and I could smell the odorous fog from gift laying in my arms. Taking a closer look over his face, I noticed he’d groomed up exceptionally precise, and his beard had been combed and trimmed. Colton Ritter may have even been wearing hair product, Ladies and Gentlemen. His matured facial lines, and the barely detectable softening sag around his eyes added a story-telling detail to his aging mug, but I admired every frown line, and ghosting scar.
I rested my arms over his shoulders, dangling the hefty bouquet in my hand behind his back to settle in for a lengthy embrace when a begging, muffled reverberation of hunger grumbled from my empty stomach.
“Well, you did tell me not to eat, silly!” I patted over my angry insides to stifle its interruption.
“I got just the thing to fix ya’ right up. Here. Let’s get you in a seat and I’ll be back.” He took my hand, and I took the seat he offered up, placing the flowers in a waiting vase at the center of his table spread.
Colton lit four small tea-light candles with a zippo frim his pants pocket, and kissed the crown of my freshly washed hair.
“I like the blonde, by the way,” he winked dragging his feet backwards to disappear into the back kitchen.
A few clanging plates and some ruffling feet could be heard as I sat legs crossed, and chin rested on my elbows. Mother Liz always cut my arms with a slap when I would prop my elbows up onto the tables, chastising my etiquette or lack thereof. I repeatedly listed off a careful list of the ‘important dates’ to mark the many milestones of our relationship to assure I hadn’t forgotten some crucial event on this day. There had to be some reason Colton had gone to such odd, starry-eyed measures, and my nosey, sharp-witted journalistic side was beating me to death to get to the real story hidden under wraps.
STOP IT! Let the man have this. Don’t ruin it because you’re a meddlesome pest who can’t just enjoy a surprise.
Just then, a smell so aromatic and reeking of garlic wafted like a puffy cloud of deliciousness into my nose. I inhaled deeply through my nostrils to trace the yummy culprit, and found the man exiting a revolving door that hid the kitchen. He had two enormous, blotchy, grease-stained pizza boxes marked from my very favorite deep-dish joint stacked in one arm, and a covered Dutch oven dish cradled in the left arm. Colt’s tongue peeped like the head of a snake from the corner of his mouth, walking strategically careful so not to drop the hot contents of his clutches.
“So, since you trained so hard, and it nearly killed ya’ cuttin’ out all those carbs, I figured you’d maybe want some’n downright filthy ‘n covered in cheese to hit the spot. Drew tried to tell me I should get some fancy takeout from that place you two are always goin’ to, but I knew this would suit ya’.”
He opened one of the boxes to reveal a cheese deep-dish smothered in sliced, tender black olives.
“You want me to eat the whole thing?” I chuckled with a large goading laugh, and quarter-sized eyes.
“One fa’ you,” he answered sitting himself to open the other cardboard box in his place setting. “’and one fa’ me.” Colton rubbed his hands together anxiously, like a giddy boy about to dive into an ankle-deep mud puddle.
“But you may wanna save a lil’ room for this too, baby.”
I watched as he pulled the sturdy lid from top the black dish, and fluffy, warm steam rolled from the inside. Peeping over the edge in anticipation, I discovered a dark chocolate, gooey treat, topped with whole praline pecans and stringy caramel drizzles.
“Colt, you made that? All by yourself?!” I smiled adoringly when the look of utter pride beamed from his coy face.
It was a turtle dessert my mom taught me to make, and my absolute favorite. Colton had stayed been at my old apartment one night, back before the fight, and said he needed a ‘sugar fix’. The city was covered in powdery snow and muck, with temperatures reaching their lowest degree all winter. Neither of us could stand the thought of leaving the warm solace of my couch, so I whipped up that same dessert for him. We demolished the entire contents straight from the dish, sharing a spoon for vanilla bean ice cream on the side.
“Liz wrote the ingredients down for me, but I remembered pretty well how you made it that night. Don’t be gettin’ all wound up before ya’ even taste it now,” he tittered taking his first bite of pizza.
 We ate majority of each cheesy pie, (him asking for a slice of mine) then hysterically cackled for a good half hour after he sampled (and gagged on) a swig of my favorite merlot from a local winery. When our favorite Bob Dylan tune struck up on his iPod, I asked him to dance, and he obliged hugging me tightly with one arm, and gnawing on the last piece of pizza he clutched to in the other. The raw, real-life imperfections of the moment that would’ve had most females curling a lip in disgust, and trouncing far, far away from a man with such qualities as Colton Ritter, only had me needing his presence in my life more so.  
“How’d you pull this off Ritter? I must say, I didn’t know you had it in ya’, babe.” I muffled with a full mouth of his well-made chocolate cake as I dabbed the corners of my mouth.
“Just called in a favor to my pal Andrew, no biggie. The bastard only made me pay him 200 bucks to make up for his ‘lost profit.’” Colton used his most sardonic air quotes to underline Andrew’s no doubt tantrum for his role.
“You been workin’ so damn hard, Livvy. And I just wanted to do somethin’ to make you feel special. Help ya’ relax and take the edge off of a lil’ about tomorrow night. ‘N judging by those sexy, heavy little wine eyes you been givin’ me, I’d say I did a fine job.”
The excellence of the entire evening, hand-in-hand with now a present buzz of red wine after so many months, made the air around me feel as if it touched my skin like expensive cashmere. My insides felt as if they were humming with muggy decadence, and no unkind thought weighed on my mind.
“Oh God, stop it!” I covered my face, ashamed of his insinuating light-weight insult.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, Liv. I ain’t just sayin’ shit right now. I mean that. You’re perfect now, jus’ like this. And ya’ perfect on the couch with your face painted in one of those goopy masks you put on before you check your work email at night.” He leaned over the round table, mazing through the empty boxes, and melting candle wax staining the tablecloth to encase my fingers. Any fool could see there was nothing but earnest passion in his eyes, and a blatantly truthful, sureness in his voice.
“I love you. And don’t sell yourself so short! You are the perfect one. Even with all those demons, and whatever else is hiding in that head of yours.” I wanted to caress and pet his always warm cheek, but the distance between us caused me to settle for a tight squeeze of his hand, and a kiss to his scarred fingers.
“A perfect man wouldn’ta let somebody like you get away, baby.”
“Stop with that! We’re here now. Together. And we’re happy. Plus, there are more important things going on right now we should be worryin’ about.”
I knew I could back out of my fight right now, even the night before, and Colton would support my decision without hesitation, and anyone else who didn’t, would suffer at the hand of his consequence. The reality of what I knew I’d be doing only a few short hours from now, was a frightening one. But, one that I had agreed to for myself at the hands of no ones’ force. I wanted to make Colton proud of me for something more than just having my nose shoved in front of a computer screen 10+ hours a day. I had to prove to him, the world, my parents, and mainly myself that I was capable of greatness. That I had the potential to step out in faith, and achieve something like this with some courage like the old Liv.
“We’ve done everything in the gym we possibly coulda, baby. You’ve done everything. You need t’ believe in yourself like you were always tellin’ me. I’ll be there standin’ in that corner for you, I promise. And if ever you wanna cut it, just say the world ‘n we’ll walk outta there first round. You can do this, 2-1. Clear eyes, remember?”
“Thank you, Colton. For being the man that you are, and sticking with me through this even though we both know you hated the idea. And for all this God, it’s incredible, really. I’ve desperately needed some alone time with my guy.” I scooted to the front ledge of my chair, resting on the table to wink suggestively at the tantalizing specimen opposite my gazes.
“Calm ya’self, you dirty girl. I know wha’s goin’ on up in the head o’ yours. I got one more place I need to take you. Then, I can assure you…. I can really fuckin’ assure you, that I’m gonna get real good and close to every piece of your creamy skin under that dress.”
tags: @torialeysha @eap1935 @littleluna98 @mollybegger-blog
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citygossip-blog1 · 6 years
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it’s your favorite bitches, @pixilated and @laprincessa here and ready to rock your world.  we don’t care if you read it or not, the rest of the world already has. 
The Red Carpet Review with @pixilated 
While some went unnoticed (I can’t tell if those were intentional or not), there were definitely some looks. With every celeb on the red carpet dying to make an impression, some unfortunately are destined to miss the mark-- the Carrington’s Gala was no exception. Now, I present to you last weekend’s best and worst dressed.
WORST: Sarah Park
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No one would disagree with us when we say that Sarah looked like absolute literal trash, and sweetie, she can’t even challenge us on this one. We get it, you love the environment. Showing up to the red carpet in a dress made of trash was a power move, Ms. Park. There’s something fishy about this whole demonstration, but I’ll let @laprincessa tell you all about that. This dress didn’t even last the whole night, so structurally it was not sound. We applaud you for having the balls for wearing this as your red carpet look, I don’t think anyone else could have pulled it off.
BEST: Tyler Henry
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Not a big surprise here, with all the money this girl has we expected nothing less. We’re almost positive that this dress costs less than the rock on her finger anyways. Henry also wore a stunning shade of green with her tiff toward Ms. Duffy and quite possibly a slightly different shade of green later that night due to her consumption of champagne-- eight or nine glasses would definitely make me sick. Thankfully for Ms. Henry, pink and green are complementary colors, so there’s no need to call the fashion police on this one.
WORST: Drew Koenig
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*Yawn* Guess we should have seen this one coming considering the Koenig’s past with their money loss, maybe they are just trying to be more fiscally responsible, who knows. However, we know some better ways to be fiscally responsible-- especially for an underwear model. Showing up in #hiscalvins would have been a look, but instead we’re left with this lackluster appearance.
BEST: Willa Duffy
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Time and again, Willa Duffy does not fail to impress-- it’s no wonder she’s continuously at the top of everyone’s radar. She dazzled everyone at the gala with this blue and gold number, Ms. Duffy you truly looked like a princess. Flora and Merryweather probably fought less than @laprincessa and I did on who was best dressed -- pink or blue! We just couldn’t settle on Ms. Duffy or Ms. Henry for the title, we’ll let them settle that in their own time, we just wanted to add a little more fuel to the fire between those two.
WORST: Charlie Carrington
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Oh Carrington, it seems like a cop out to just get a handkerchief to match your girl. Maybe Ms. Henry was too indecisive about her look that you settled for something simple. Your name wasn’t even on the invitation, little Charlie, and your suit didn’t make you standout either.
@laprincessa: Que decepción, I honestly expected more of you Carrington, especialmente cuando your fiance is a fashion icon, tsk tsk communication is key darlings!  Let me take this time to express my utter disappointment with men in high society always showing up in the same old somber tones, in the same old boring suits. The fashion world is always moving forward and you have the money to really show up and represent. Explore with colors, patterns and textures! Floral is not just for the ladies, gentlemen-- the more vibrant the color the more impressive you stand out. Stop boring me to tears with the same old suit and tie.
BEST: Jared Caldwell
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That brings me to the best dressed guy, which goes to New Money Caldwell. Let me just fangirl about this this man for a second, can you tell that I just absolutely love him. Sure no one really knows who he is and he’s just a nerdy guy who made the hottest app, but if he ghosted me I would be heartbroken. I can see why Martha was all over this man, look at that t e x t u r e. Boys, you need to take a few notes in your book from him. THIS is how you rock a gala look.  
WORST: Victoria Sparks
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There’s nothing awful about this look, in fact the only one who really swung and missed was Ms. Park, but there’s nothing that really stands out either. I think we were all on the edge of our seats to see if your date would be your mother. I wonder if you’re feeling well, with your dreamy, far-off look and your nose stuck in a book-- what a puzzle to the rest of us is well, Ms. Sparks. I should have expected this from New York’s Sweetheart who has been flying under the radar, but we’re dying to know why your personality is still missing when you are back in the big apple with mommy dearest.
BEST: Juniper Winslow
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Such a classic look from Ms. Winslow, it brings me back to the Juni: Princess of the Galaxy days! You really were a star. Thank goodness you didn’t have a fashion disaster tonight, but it’s such a shame your ex-mans was at the gala too. You really seemed on edge, Juni. The class the dress brought definitely compensated for the mess that followed.
BEST: Sarah Park
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Hats off to you Ms. Park for not only receiving worst dressed, but also receiving the best dressed. While it wasn’t your red carpet look, you definitely turned some heads with this one too. Your transition from the trash in our ocean to your sandy sparkly look was not only touching, but inspiring. Congrats from your two faves-- oh and tell your bestie that #TimesUp on the fashion trend she tried to bring to the gala.
No Me Digas! con @laprincessa
Now you all know we love our fashion opinions, but what we thirst is more than what our fellow socialites were wearing. We thirst for the knowledge of what they are doing and subsequently hiding. Good thing is... we know all, we see all and my, my, my! What juicy content do we have to share.
While so many of you flew under the radar, stuck to the walls or hidden in the corners, some of you truly saved this gala from being a total snoozefest. I for one, was ready to post some secrets just to have a reaction from all those in attendance, but early on it was easy to spot that things were bound to get interesting.
Let me start with the ever so fabulous Tyler Henry. Mija, you were a total mess. The woman who has everything-- the wealth, good genes, the rock on her finger with the handsome man at her side-- started guzzling down champagne like it was water. What could possibly warrant Ms. Henry to act impulsively on the night of her soon-to-be family’s gala?  My sources say that daddy dearest broke a promise and the Henry’s wholesome family unit was minus one. The night just kept getting better as Ms. Henry decided to up the ante and get into not one but two major confrontations.
The First: #theAutocrat vs #theVisionary
While we agree that Ms. Sarah Park was a total eyesore in that, for lack of a better term-- trashy dress, was it really necessary to ruin it? Now before all you Tyler-stans get all defensive here are the facts. The two ladies were spotted having a quarrel, it wouldn’t surprise me if the camera crew got all the juicy details of what was said. All I know is that the back-and-forth reached the point where Ms. Henry was seen pulling in the Carrington’s guest speaker real close, and not for the steamy reasons we’re all hoping for,  and as Ms. Park pulled away... oops! Her dress was falling apart and Tyler was left with plastic in her hands. Seems pretty incriminating to me. In the end I feel like I should thank Tyler, Sarah was forced to change and I ended up getting a delectable view of her banging body.   
@pixilated: Hey! #TeamTyler over here and I wouldn’t say that miss-horny-for-change can get away without pointing a few fingers at her. No one would believe it, but rumor has it Ms. Park could have had a few tricks up her sleeve and wanted Ms. Henry to rip her dress all along. Hell, I’d want that dis-gus-ting thing off of me too. Tyler did warn her never to call her by that godforsaken nickname. Seems like she was set-up to have the perfect alibi, but that’s just my cup of tea.
Since @pixilated has already revealed herself to be in #TeamTyler I guess I can go ahead and reveal that while I’m not on any teams yet,  I do have a soft spot for Sarah Park. She had the guts to embarrass herself in front of all the who’s who of New York because her love of activism ran stronger than the need to look good. She’s constantly using her privilege for the greater good and I can’t help but admire that. Not even a wardrobe malfunction could slow her down. Ms. Park was right on time to perform her speech and the outpouring of support confirmed what we all know, this girl is on fire. Was it just me or did any of you notice how her speech even used her dress falling apart to her advantage? Ms. Park is one smart cookie, good thing she seems like she wants to help the world and not ruin it. And as Selena Gomez always said, “everything is not what it seems.” *queue theme song here*
The Second: #theAutocrat vs #theModel
You’d think I would be so over the drama between these two, but I can’t help it! They are my guilty pleasure and they always indulge me. I wonder whatever compelled Tyler Henry to approach Willa Duffy in the first place? Was Willa enchanting too many guests? Was she taking too much of the spotlight? Or was it because Willa was looking a little too cute laughing up a storm with Charles Carrington himself? Whatever the reason was, Ms. Henry was seven drinks too many in and confronting Willa Duffy in front of the whole gala!! Scandalous! I know I felt a shiver of excitement when I saw that showdown happening. These queens of New York were both so formidable with their consistent, calculated clapbacks, but it was apparent that the Queen Bee, Ms. Henry, stung Ms. Duffy one too many times. It's amazing to imagine how they could rule the whole city if they only joined forces once again. I know, I know, never gonna happen! It's the dreamer in me I can’t help it. Anyways, much like Tyler’s first confrontation, Willa left the scene first and while in many instances that would be a win. Is it really a win to act like a drunken fool in front of all your fiance’s family and esteemed guests? So who’s the real winner here? We are of course! We would like to thank Charlie for quite literally making the whole Tyler drama sweeter by removing her from the premise to grab a scoop to forget her stand-up dad.
So much time spent on Ms. Henry it’s safe to say she’s our Scandal of the Week. But there are so many who also caught our interest never fear!
Ms. Duffy where is your shadow? Consider us shocked at not seeing the Duffy twins attached at the hip. We know he was there or did he bail out before the party even got started? Perhaps it’s a good thing, we can’t imagine you would have charmed as many guests with your demon of a brother at your side.
Drew Koenig, your foolish, misogynistic attempts to win over Bella De La Rosa Lopez did not go unnoticed. You might like your women like you like your drinks, “sweet and a little spicy,” but I’ve heard Bella likes her men how most people like their wine. Luck for us, Ms. De La Rosa ended her night dancing with Ms. Duffy and not with the likes of you.
@pixilated: Some advice for Charlie Carrington, if you want people to respect your relationship with Tyler Henry, you best not be seen chatting it up and getting comfortable with her sworn enemy. Maybe he’s just trying to keep their enemies close.
My girl here has a point, we’ve been told that the Duffy’s and the Carrington’s have been friends for years but there is such a thing as loyalty to your loved one no? On the other hand there is something so cute seeing two friends laughing up a storm. The real truth here is that I’m a messy bitch and I live for this drama.
@pixilated: And one final word to the wise-- the Marthas of the world better throw caution to the wind and watch their back, I’m tryna steal your mans <3
I don’t know pixie, Jared seems pretty enamored with the one, the only, Willa Duffy, are the Marthas of the world the real threat here?
@pixilated: I don’t care who you are, if you have heart eyes for Jared Caldwell, I suggest wearing shades so I can’t pick you out of a crowd.
This concludes our honest review. If you didn’t see yourself mentioned don’t get comfortable, either you didn’t do anything worthy of a mention which *yawn* or we’re biding our time to comment on all the messy things you do. Both options make me want to spill all your deep dark secrets but my partner says waiting is key to ultimate satisfaction.
Until next time, 
xoxo
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snowdice · 4 years
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Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 24]
Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!
If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. Chapters 3-8 and what I have of Chapter 9 are under the cut.
My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.
I have meetings so this might be off and on today.
Chapter 7
“Him,” was the only thing Janus said before taking off after the figure who had just disappeared into the game area.
“What?” Remus’s voice followed after him. “Janus! What?!”
Janus did not pause, just continuing to run after Pat, hopping over two barricades as a shortcut. Janus cursed when he lost sight of the man for just a moment near the prize table filled with colorful goldfish, but he was able to spot him once again walking into one of the tents. Janus blasted into the tent. It was a game where they raced rats, and when Janus entered, Pat was cooing at one of them.
 “Who’s a tiny little squishy precious baby?” he was asking one of them, wiggling his pointer finger at it.
“You,” Janus growled stepping up to him.
He turned and tilted his head at Janus with a frown. “Um, me?” he asked, pointing to his chest, all sorts of innocent, but Janus could see a spot of hidden amusement in his eyes.
“Where is it?”
His eyebrows drew together, but it was an act. It was clearly an act! “Where is what?”
“The…” he glanced around them at the people surrounding them. “Thing you just took.”
“I didn’t take anything,” Pat said with a frown.
 “Oh, no,” Janus said. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fooling me twice is not an option.”
“I’m sorry sir,” Pat said. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bull. Shit.”
Just then, Remus jogged into the tent. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“It’s him,” Janus said pointing. “He took it. He has it.”
“I… don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pat said. He looked over to Remus with a confused frown.
Remus looked at Janus. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Janus said. “It’s him. It has to be him. He’s the mask guy.”
Remus squinted at Pat. “He is?”
“Whoever you think I am, I’m not. I haven’t worn a mask all night. I just did the face paint,” he pointed to his cheeks.
 Remus raised his wrist and his timepiece lit up green. He looked at Janus.
“I lost sight of him for five seconds. He must have stashed it somewhere,” Janus said. He turned on Pat. “Where did you put it?”
“…Are you,” Pat asked, his eyes going back and forth between Janus and Remus, “… the police?”
“We are, actually,” Khalid said as she stepped into the tent. Remus must have called her. She inserted herself between Janus and Pat. “Agent Khalid,” she said, offering a hand with a smile. Pat looked at it in surprise and then smiled back hesitantly as he took it. “Apologizes, one of the big game prizes was stolen by someone matching your description. Would you mind coming down to security for questioning? Just to clear it up.”
 “Oh,” Pat said, hesitant. Janus expected him to refuse outright, but then he said. “Uh, sure.”
“Thank you very much, Mr…”
“Jonas,” Pat told her earnestly. “Do I need to be handcuffed?”
“No,” Khalid said. Janus frowned at her, but she ignored him. “It’s just a talk for now.” She gestured to the tent entrance. “Come with us.”
He did without argument, and Remus and Janus followed behind the both of them. Khalid did not lead them back to the base, but to a little spot that said “security” near the center of the event. Remy was already there waiting for them at a desk.
 “Remy, would you please take Mr. Jonas to go sit down?” she asked.
“Sure, boss,” Remy said, standing up. He led Pat away.
Khalid turned to Janus and Remus once they were out of earshot. “What is going on?”
“It’s the mask man,” Janus said, “the one from 1923, and my scanner said the time bomb was on the Millenia Bird outside the games entrance, but then it was gone the next second, and I saw him, and then he ran away.”
“So, does he have it on him?”
“No. I lost sight of him, and he must have stored it somewhere, but I know he took it.”
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“He’s the man from 1923?” she asked.
“Yes! Remus, that’s him, right? You recognize him.”
“Well,” Remus said thoughtfully. “He was in a mask, and it was dark in the room with the necklace. Other than that, I only really saw his back, and he was wearing pants. Mr. Jonas is wearing a dress, so I can’t really tell if their asses match.”
“Okay, but I was with him for hours. I swear it’s him, and I swear he took it,” Janus just about shouted.
“We’ll question him,” Khalid placated, “and Fred and Lena will keep looking in the meantime.”
 “He knows where it is,” Janus insisted. “I swear.”
“Okay,” Khalid said, before leaving to follow where Remy and Pat had gone. She stopped Janus with a hand on his shoulder. “I think Remus and I will do the interrogation.” He opened his mouth to argue. “You know the most about him, so observe from the sidelines and see if he makes any mistakes that indicate you’re right.”
“That’s just to placate me and you know it.”
“Observation’s over there,” she said pointing.
He got a thumbs up from Remus as he walked by, and Janus glared at his back before walking off to the indicated location.
 He watched as Remus and Khalid entered the room, and Remy left it. Remy joined him in the observation room after leaving and leaned against the wall.
Pat was sitting at a table and watched Remus and Khalid with that same rubbish placid confusion that he had before. “So,” Khalid said, “Mr. Jonas.”
“You can call me Nick,” Pat interrupted.
“Lia,” Khalid replied. He smiled at her happily. “So, are you enjoying your day?” she asked.
“I am!” he replied. “It’s a big day. You only get to see the turn of a millennia once in your life.”
“Ah, yes,” Khalid said. “Doing anything special for it?”
 “Um, not really,” he said. “Other than the party. I’m going to meet up with my roommates after dinner. Kevin doesn’t like this sort of thing, and Joe couldn’t come.”
“Your roommates,” Khalid said, considering him. “Do you live around here?”
“Uh huh,” Pat replied.
“Do you have any ID?”
“I do, want me to get it?”
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
Pat unzipped one of the bubbles on his waist and handed her a chip. “Remus, would you mind going out and getting the ID scanner?” she asked, even though her timepiece would be able to read it.
“Ah, shit,” Remy said. “Props. What do those things even look like?”
 As Remy scrambled to find something that would pass for an ID reader so “Nick” didn’t get suspicious of Khalid using her timepiece, Janus watched the two alone in the room like a hawk.
“I see you’re wearing a dress inspired by the 2770s,” Khalid noted, as Remus came to stand next to him.
“Yeah!” Pat replied. “Joe made it for me. He’s really good at fashion design!”
“Can I see?” she asked.
With a happy smile, he reached over the table to let her get a look of the sleeves. Janus saw her subtly scan the fabric, probably to make sure it was from the 2990s and not actually from the 2770s. Considering she didn’t mention it, Janus assumed it checked out.
 Remy came back with some sort of device then and handed it to Remus who saluted and wandered back into the interrogation room. Khalid pretended to scan the ID in her hand. She handed it back to him without comment. “So, you said you live with your roommates: Joe and Kevin?” she asked.
“Yep!” he replied. “We’re practically like brothers.”
“Would you mind calling them?”
“Erm,” he titled his head like he was confused by the question. “Well, like I said, Joe is a bit busy, but I could definitely call Kevin.
“Here,” Khalid said, “use my phone.”
“I have my own,” he said with a frown.
“Humor me,” she requested.
“Uh, okay,” Pat agreed. He took the offered 2999 phone and dialed a number on it. Khalid reached over to put it on speaker.
“Hello?” a voice asked after a few seconds.
“Um, hey Kevin, it’s Nick.”
There was a sigh on the other end. “Hello Nick, is something wrong? Why are you calling me from someone else’s phone?”
“I’m fine, I think.” He looked up at Khalid. “Why am I calling him exactly?”
“Hello, I’m Officer Khalid,” Khalid said. “I just wanted to confirm that you are Nick Jonas’s roommate, and he does live in Manaus.”
“Yes, we live together with our other roommate,” the man replied flippantly. “Officer? Is something wrong?”
“I believe there was just a case of mistaken identity,” Khalid said.
“Bullshit there was!” Janus hissed, though she could not hear him.
“No need to worry,” Khalid continued.
“I’m good Kevin,” Pat said.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Kevin asked.
“Don’t be Paranoid, Kevin. I’ll see you Tonight for the New Years Celebration. You know I Live to Party.”
“I am hanging up now,” Kevin said.
“No! Comeback.” The line went dead. Pat handed the device back to Khalid.
She took it and smiled at him. “Give us just a couple of minutes,” she requested. He nodded easily, and she and Remus exited the interrogation room. “I… think we’re done here,” Khalid said.
“No, he’s lying,” Janus insisted, and got a dubious look in return. “I know he is! Remus!”
“The alibi is pretty solid…” Remus said, “and he doesn’t have the bomb on him.”
“Oh, come on,” Janus said. “You can’t say there is nothing fishy going on here.”
Khalid and Remus shared a look. “Janus,” Khalid said. “I respect your intuition. It is usually very good, but you have been a bit intense about the man from the 1920s, and I think that may be blinding you a bit...”
“I am not imagining this!” Janus said. “That’s him and he took it.”
“You only met him once while he was wearing a mask,” Khalid pointed out with a frown, “and you didn’t see him take the bomb, did you?”
“No, but he looked at me and I knew,” Janus argued. They both gave him a skeptical look. “Oh, come on!”
“You know that’s a little weak, Jan,” Remus said.
“Let me talk to him,” Janus requested. “Just give me five minutes to talk with him.”
Khalid raised one eyebrow. “Fine,” she agreed. “You have five minutes, but after that, you have to let it go. We can’t waste any more time.”
 Chapter 8
Pat looked up as Janus stepped into the interrogation room. “Hi,” he said with an innocent smile that could cut steal.
Janus didn’t say a word as he took a seat; he just watched him intently. He leaned slightly over the table and steepled his fingers in front of his chin. “So, your name is Nick this time?” Janus asked.
“Nicholas Jonas,” he said. “Always has been.”
“Stop it,” Janus said.
“Stop what?”
“Cut the crap. I know.”
Pat leaned forward, mirroring Janus as he leaned closer, interlocking his fingers and laying his chin on top of his knuckles. “What did you say your name was again?” he asked, pleasantly.
 “Janus,” Janus replied.
“No, I’m Jonas,” he said, pointing to his chest.
“Not Jonas,” Janus spat. “Janus.”
“Um,” Pat said, eyes alight with amusement. The bastard. “Those are the same words.”
“No, they’re not. It’s Janus. J-A-N-U.-S.”
“Well, that’s confusing,” Pat said with a frown, but his nose was crinkling. “It’s close to my name. You should go by a nickname instead.”
“What?” Janus said. “No.”
Pat hummed. “How about Love Bug?”
“What! No!” Janus sputtered, almost flipping the table, as Pat winked at him.
“BB Good?”
“What does that even mean?!”
“Mandy.”
“No!”
“Okay, okay, how about Macy Misa.”
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Janus stared at him for a moment. “Fine. Whatever. What was I even talking about?”
“Hmm. I Believe we were talking about my name and how you think it’s not my name.”
“Right,” Janus said. “So, Nick. That was your roommate, Kevin on the phone, right? He seemed a bit unhappy with you. Any reason?”
“Nah, we’re Cool” said Pat. “That’s Just the Way We Roll.”
“Not because you’re messing up a mission right now?”
Pat’s eyes crinkled together. “A mission?” he parroted. “I’m not messing up a mission.”
“Oh, really?” Janus growled. “Because you’ve been captured by the TPI, and I know who you are and what you’ve been doing.”
“I have no idea what the TPI is,” he claimed.
“Yes, you do!” Janus said, standing up. “You obviously do! Or you wouldn’t be playing this game!”
 “Game?” Pat asked. “Macy I ask you what you’re talking about.”
“This is all just a game to you isn’t it!” Janus said, slamming his hands down on the table in front of them.
“Whoa,” Pat said, putting his hands up. “Calm down. Your face is getting all red. You must be Burnin’ Up.”
“I’m not sure what, but something about what you just said pisses me off.”
“And that is five minutes,” Khalid said, bursting into the room. He felt a tug on the back of his shirt and glared back at Remus who was putting his own body between Janus and Pat.
 “There was no way that was five minutes,” Janus growled.
“It was five minutes,” Khalid gritted out. “Remus, get him out of here.”
“Come on Jay,” Remus said, dragging him back towards the door.
“Remus, I swear to god.”
“Just chill, Janus,” Remus said, slamming the door closed behind them.
Janus shrugged him off. “You chill!” he snapped. “He’s playing you all for the fool.”
“Wow, Macy,” Remy drawled like an asshole. “I’ve never seen you so fired up.”
“Oh, my gosh. No one is going to believe me, and he’s going to get away with this.”
“You’re not really helping your case, babe,” Remy said.
 Remus grabbed him by the shoulders again. “Here, let’s go get some water.”
“I don’t want water,” he said even as he let Remus lead him to another room to get a glass of water.
“Look,” Remus said. “I know the Mask Guy thing really sucked, but you have to look at the facts.
“I am looking at the facts,” Janus insisted, “and the facts are, he’s fucking with me.”
“You don’t know what mask guy looks like,” Remus said. “You didn’t see Nick take the time bomb, he has an ID from this time period and a roommate in this time he called on the phone, and he legitimately seems to not know what any of us are talking about.”
 “Did you even listen to our conversation?” Janus asked. “He was screwing with me the entire time!”
“Janus…” Remus said.
“What?” Janus said, narrowing his eyes at Remus’s tone.
“I know you recently had a bad experience, but not everyone who flirts with you is doing it out of evil.”
Janus’s mouth hung open for a few seconds. “That’s what you got out of our conversation?”
“He called you Love Bug.”
Janus felt his face heat a bit at the reminder. “That’s not… I. I’m stealing your cat and then never speaking to you again.”
Remus laughed. “Ah,” he said. “Young lust.”
Janus elbowed him roughly in the side. “No!”
“Yes!” he crooned, pleased.
 “You are the worst partner,” Janus hissed. “When I’m right you owe me 10 loafs of your fresh bread.”
“Branching out from poptarts?” Remus asked.
Janus shook his head. He still wasn’t happy about the state of things, but he could feel himself cooling down a bit.
Khalid came out of the integration room after a few minutes, leaving Pat with Remy. “What was that?” she asked him.
“He got under my skin,” Janus said.
“We’ll talk about it later,” she said. “For now, we’re letting him go and then going back to looking for the bomb like we’re meant to be.”
 “Fine,” Janus relented. “Just do me the favor of tagging him before he leaves. Just that. I beg of you.”
“Sure,” she agreed. “If it will calm you down.”
He nodded.
“Then, let’s go,” she said. When they met back up with Remy and Pat, he saw Khalid make the subtle gesture that would tag Pat like they would have for the Millennium Birds. Pat sent him what could pass as a sweet smile if Janus didn’t know better. Then, they walked him outside, leaving Remy on clean-up duty for the make-shift security office.
“So, I’m free to go?” Pat asked. His bemused expression edged far too much on the side of amused verses confused for Janus’s taste.
 “You are,” Khalid said. “Have fun at the festivities.”
His hands went flapping about. “Oh, you too!” he said. “Well, I guess you’re working, but you can have fun anyway, I’m sure.”
“We’ll do our best,” she said.
He gave her a blinding smile and reached forward to shake her hand enthusiastically. Janus rolled his eyes and looked up at the heavens. “It was nice to meet you!” he said, “and you too, Remus!” He turned to meet Janus’s eyes. “Macy Misa.”
Janus pressed his lips together.
Then, Pat turned and walked away.
“Well, now that we’re done with that,” Khalid said, turning to them. “We have only a few more hours before midnight and we really need to find the time bomb.
 “Oh,” Pat called. He’d paused a few yards away and turned back to them. “Thanks for letting me go so easily by the way,” he said, “and just in the Nick,” he winked, “of time too.” Janus narrowed his eyes at him. He smiled back. “Wrist check,” he said holding up his arm to show off the timepiece there. Khalid immediately looked down at her own wrist just to see that the one timepiece that could move through the time lock was no longer there. Pat made a gesture and disappeared.
All three of them stared at the spot he’d been for a long moment.
Janus was the one to speak first. “I want. The yellow. To be erased. From my record.”
 Chapter 9
Khalid immediately called everyone back to base.
“What happened?” asked Fred when he and Lena arrived. The tech people were already scrambling to get through to the TPI and get the time lock broken from the outside.
“Remus, Remy, and Khalid got played by Pat or whatever his name is. It certainly isn’t Nick. He was just setting up a joke,” Janus told him.
“Stop being smug,” Remy said. “It’s not a good look for you.”
“Pat is…?” Lena asked.
“They guy who fucked me over in 1923,” Janus said, “and is currently in the middle of fucking us all over because he stole the pin timepiece, and by extrapolation, probably the time bomb too.”
 “It will be fine,” said Khalid, “because what he doesn’t know is that timepiece has a tracker on it. Wherever and whenever he went, we’ll have his coordinates.”
“Speaking of,” one of the techies said. “It’s about to break. You might want to hold onto something.” Janus grabbed for a support beam next to him as the techie put a device on the ground in the center of the base. It blinked once, twice, and on the third blink the ground rumbled. There were sounds of panicked yelps outside. The fail safe for the time lock was not nearly as gentle as ending it correctly.
 Everything settled after a few moments, and they all straightened themselves out. Janus’s timepiece buzzed to indicate it was now functioning normally. Khalid had returned her usual timepiece to her wrist and now used it to open a display they could all see. “The pin timepiece’s closest time/space coordinates are…” she trailed off. “Right outside?” She frowned. “That’s strange. Why would he still be here?” She turned to march outside, following the coordinates to a trash can. She pulled the pin timepiece out and stared at it. “Fuck,” she said.
“What just happened?” Remy asked.
“He ticked us,” Janus said. “Again.”
 “He was stuck in the time lock,” Khalid said. “That’s why he got our attention. He couldn’t leave with the time bomb unless he had the pin timepiece or we broke the time lock. Apparently, he’s smart enough to know that if he took the pin timepiece away from here, we’d probably be able to find him, but he knew we’d break the lock as soon as the pin went missing. So, he must have stashed his own timepiece and went back in time within the time lock to grab it while we were distracted with the past version of him. As soon as the time lock went down, I imagine he left.”
 “Probably with the time bomb,” Janus said.
“Probably with the time bomb,” she confirmed.
And everyone knew the only thing worse than a time bomb was a time bomb you didn’t know the location of.
They evacuated after that, of course, and time locked the location once they were out just in case they were wrong, but midnight 3000 struck without thousands of people dying in Brazil, so the time bomb had defiantly been removed from then.
The, they initiated a time travel lockdown for all nonessentials, not willing to let random history students get caught up in an explosion if Pat decided to set the thing off somewhere.
 Then, it was a matter of figuring out everything they could about ‘Pat.’ First, they checked the tracker data as Khalid had tagged him with one of the Millennium Bird trackers. It wouldn’t work outside of the zone they’d set up that day, but the record would show his behavior during the time lock after he’d escaped with the pin timepiece.
There had been many little green dots on the map that day as Fred and Lena had actually been doing the job they’d set out to do, but most of those were running around in the south. There had been one green dot, however, that appeared suddenly in the game area about 10 minutes before the time bomb had been stolen.
 They could see Janus’s yellow dot almost brush his when he’d been chasing the earlier Pat down, around when he’d lost him briefly. The earlier Pat must have all but handed it off to his future self.
“He doubled back,” Remus commented when they watched the recorded data. It was a ballsy move and one that most people balked at, because there were inherent dangers any time you interacted with yourself from a different point in the timestream. It was ripe for paradoxes. It made everyone at the agency even more worried, because if he was willing to risk that, then what else was he willing to do?
 Because of the lockdown of all nonessential time travel, people working for the TPI were not allowed to go home for the night. They were allowed to pick up anyone or anything dependent on them for care like kids and pets if there wasn’t someone in their home time to care for them, but other than that, they were unfortunately all sleeping in their offices for the foreseeable future.
“You are the only tolerable one,” Janus told the cat who upon being let loose in the office by Remus, immediately jumped on Janus’s lap.
“I have literally done nothing to you,” Lena said, but then added. “Yet.”
 “You exist. In my space.”
“Can’t we just all get along?” asked Fred. “It’s only been an hour past when we’d usually go home. I went and grabbed milk and I have my giant thing of different flavored hot chocolate under my desk. We can try them all and vote on which is better.”
“Fuck your hot chocolate, Fred,” Janus growled, having been one of the three who had chipped in to buy it for him on his last birthday.
“Don’t go after Fred, jackass,” Lena spat.
“He’s just testy because his boyfriend escaped,” Remus contributed.
Janus’s lips turned down into a frown and he cupped Diesel Fuel’s face. “We agree we’re eating him first, right?” he asked her.
 She purred her agreement.
“I’d have it no other way,” Remus replied.
“There is plenty of food,” Fred said, sounding stressed. “In fact, I was thinking we should all chip in on ordering take-out soon. “What does everyone like on pizza?”
“This is not a slumber party, Fred,” Janus pointed out.
“Shut it,” Lena snapped and turned to Fred. “I’m fine with almost everything, except…”
“Bananas and tuna salad!” Remus interrupted.
“…whatever Remus is about to say.”
Janus rolled his eyes as that started a debate about whether or not fruit and/or fish belonged on pizza. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, which was when there was a knock on the door.
 He froze when he heard the familiar voice. “Hello, hello,” said Emile, cheerfully. Janus looked up to see Emile standing at the open office door. Shit. Apparently, the man had decided to give up on sending lackeys to come fetch him and had decided to track him down himself when Janus couldn’t even escape without breaking a time lockdown. They met eyes briefly and Janus could see irritation if not anger in his eyes despite his otherwise cheerful expression and tone.
“Janus,” he said when he’d gotten their attention. “I’d like to have dinner with you.” The word choice told Janus everything he needed to know. Usually Emile was careful with how he said things to make sure people knew they had a choice. Typically he’d say something like, “I was wondering if you’d have time to have dinner with me tonight,” or “I’m about to go get food, would you like to come?” Today, there was no choice in the statement.
 Janus still dried to dodge anyway. “Uh,” he said. “We were actually about to order pizza.”
“Go ahead,” said Fred kindly. Janus wanted to strangle him. “We can order pizza with olives if you’re not here.”
“I…” said Janus. “Guess, I’ll be going with you.”
“Great!” Emile said. “Let’s go.”
“Oh,” Janus said. “Uh, now?”
“Now,” Emile said a bit of uncharacteristic steel to his tone.
 Well, Janus was screwed. He swallowed his nervousness and got to his feet, taking Diesel Fuel with him. He turned to hand her off to Remus with a plea in his eye, but he just got an eyebrow raise in return. Traitor.
Then, he followed Emile out of the office door. “What would you like to eat?” asked Emile.
“Uh,” Janus said. “I don’t know. You asked me to eat, don’t you have any ideas?”
“I don’t actually,” Emile replied. Right.
“…Noddle Bar?” Janus threw out the nearest restaurant he knew.
“The one noodle restaurant? Sure,” Emile answered simply. They walked side by side out of the front doors of the TPI building. Janus actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken these stairs. He usually used his timepiece to get in and out.
 The noodle bar was only moderately busy at this time. They were quickly able to find a table near the back and Emile pulled his menu up in front of him. Emile hummed as he flipped through the different displays. “What are you having?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Janus said, only then pulling up the menu himself, but still not quite looking at it.
“What about the fortune noodles,” Emile suggested.
Janus shook his head. “I don’t like those,” he said.
Emile glanced at him through the menu displays. “You used to.” Fortune noodles were a bit cheekily named. They didn’t actually indicate anything about your future. They were just supposed to taste like what you wanted from your future. A grad student might experience a feeling like they’d just aced a paper. A child that they got to stay up an hour later that night. Janus had liked the experience when he was younger, but in recent years, he’d begun to taste the underlying chemicals in the dish until that’s all he could.
 “Well,” Emile said lightly, eyes on his menu. “That makes me even more worried for your mental health than I already was because of the almost three years of you avoiding talking to me.”
“No small talk, huh?” Janus asked.
“Forgive me,” Emile said, eyes now focused on Janus, and tone much darker. “How has your life been since I last saw your face 5 months ago during a business meeting and you refused to look me in the eye? Anything interesting happen? Shave your head and let it all regrow? Develop an allergy to peanuts? Join a convent and take an oath of silence that you only just broke today?”
“No,” said Janus quietly into the table.
 “Great,” Emile said clipped. “Small talk over. Order your food.” Janus reached up blindly to select the first thing that came up on the food and drink menu as Emile punched something into his own and both menu displays disappeared, meaning there was nothing between their faces anymore. “You know, I was willing to give you a year,” Emile said. “I was willing to let you deal with it on your own because I thought eventually, you’d come talk to me about it, but apparently I was mistaken. The next year, I thought maybe you thought I didn’t want to talk to you, so I subtly made myself available, and you never took me up on the offer. I thought maybe I was just not being clear, and I should make my desire to talk to you more explicit, but as you have been routinely, clearly avoiding me at every single turn, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. So, let’s lay it all on the table. Is it me or do you need help?”
 Janus closed his eyes. “It’s not you.”
“Then you need help,” Emile concluded.
Janus shook his head.
“Yes,” Emile snapped. “Whatever this is has gone on far too long.”
Janus stood up and slammed his hand down on the table. “And it’s going to keep going on!” he said. The food popped up at that moment. It appeared Janus had ordered lasagna and bubble tea, and Emile had ordered something with spaghetti and a fizzy drink.
“So, you’re just planning to go on being miserable then?” Emile asked, and Janus wasn’t sure if it was worse or better that he didn’t sound angry anymore.
14656
Janus slapped his hand down on the “To Go” button and his dinner was insta-wrapped by the table. “Yes,” he said.
“What exactly do you think you’re paying penance for, Janus?” Emile asked.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Janus said, paying for both of their meals with his fingerprint.
“That’s a cop out and you know it,” Emile said. “All you’d have to do is talk to me. Or even just talk to someone else. Please.”
“Just…” Janus said, grabbing his bag of food to avoid looking at him. “Just, leave me be.” He walked out of the noodle shop without another word.
 Chapter 10
“And I thought Remus was going to be the most disgusting roommate in this equation,” Lena grumbled. Janus and Lena were apparently the earlier risers in the group as Fred was still curled up around a pillow and Remus was sprawled out under his desk.
Janus flipped her off.
“Protein infused Poptarts and caffeinated orange juice for breakfast?” she asked. “Just eat an energy bar and have a cup of coffee like a normal person.”
He took another pointed bite of his Poptart.
“You’re a horrible roommate. This is why they gave us different partners.”
“Yeah, well you snore, asshole,” Janus said after finishing off his meal.
 “I’d tell you to go eat shit, but you already did that once this morning.”
A pillow flew across the room and somehow managed to hit the both of them. “S’op fighting,” Fred mumbled. “It’s sleep time.”
“It’s morning Fred,” Lena said.
“No,” Fred mumbled.
Janus ignored them, turning back to his integration port to continue to keep plugging in phrases of interest, but he kept getting nothing.
“What are you doing?” Lena asked after a few moments of him huffing at his screen reader.
“Trying to do anything that may change our current living arrangements.”
She puffed out an amused breath. “Can I help?”
 “Can you see any connection between these words and phrases?” he asked, pulling away his screen reader and tapping at the words he’d typed out.
“Paranoid, tonight, I live to party, comeback, love Bug, BB good, Mandy, Macy Misa, I believe, cool, that’s just the way we roll, burnin’ up,” she said. “What are these?”
“They’re things Pat said when we interrogated that struck me funny,” Janus explained. “I feel like he was saying something more than what he said.”
“Hmm,” she said. “PTI for the first three?”
“Maybe,” Janus agreed, “but what about the rest of it? I feel like I’m missing something.”
15080
“Millennia,” Remus mumbled from under his desk. Janus hadn’t been aware he was awake. “He said something something about it being the only time he could see the change of the millennia.” He turned his head to look at Janus. “Considering he’s a time traveler, that’s definitely a weird thing to say.”
“Millennia,” Janus contemplated. “A different turn of the millennia. Oh no.”
“What?” Lena asked.
Janus sighed, and rubbed his temple. “I know someone who studied the 1700-2200s.”
“Isn’t that good?”
“No,” Janus groaned, “because now I have to go talk to him.” He stood with a sigh and then paused. “How do I even get to Silver Mountains University without my timepiece?”
 Luckily Sliver Mountains ended up only being about an hour away from the TPI by time adherent travel, but considering Janus was used to his travel being instantaneous, it was an aggravating trip. He had to show ID and be buzzed up to the fourth floor since it was usually locked to everyone not traveling by timepiece or who worked in the office.
The receptionist was the same man as before. “I’m here to speak to Professor Eran,” Janus said.
The receptionist nodded. “He mentioned you asked to meet him but didn’t know when you’d arrive. He’ll be done teaching his class in about 5 minutes. You can wait over there.”
 Janus nodded and sat, waiting for time to slowly tick by. Virgil arrived after a few minutes, lugging a giant bag with him. He caught sight of Janus and wordlessly jerked his head towards the hallway. Janus followed him.
“What’s in the bag?” Janus asked.
“Early 21st century cell phones,” Virgil said, dropping it on his desk. “I let my students mess around with them for their lab.”
“I see,” Janus said.
“What did you need?” Virgil asked. “You said it was official business.”
“You’ve heard about the lockdown, I presume,” Janus said.
“Yeah, it really screws up my research schedule for the summer,” Virgil said.
15412
“Do you know why the lockdown was instituted?” Janus asked. Virgil shook his head, so Janus explained briefly that they had been trying to find a timebomb on the eve of the year 3000, but it had been swiped by a free agent time traveler. “Some of the things seemed to be references to things that I couldn’t place, and I was wondering if you would recognize any.”
“Shoot,” Virgil requested, seeming intrigued by the prospect.
“Okay,” Janus said. “First, the alias he was using was Nick Jonas.” A weird expression crossed Virgil’s face immediately and Janus paused.
“You said the year 3000?” Virgil asked.
 “Er. Yes.”
“Nick Jonas. Year 3000,” Virgil repeated with a snort. “Were Joe and Kevin a part of this too?”
Janus blinked. “Yes, how did you know that?”
“Yo-you’re going to have,” his sentence was broken by a giggle, and actual full-fledged giggle, “have to give me a minute.” With that, he sort of listed to the side and seemed to purposefully fall off his chair onto the floor under his desk.
Janus blinked and when he didn’t surface after a moment, he stood up to lean over the desk and look down at him. Virgil had his arm thrown over his beat red face, as he shook from what Janus thought was suppressed laughter.
 “What?” Janus asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Just…” Virgil said, sobbing through his laughter. “Just tell me the things he said.”
“Er, mostly he just had weird inflections on words and phrases. There was ‘paranoid, tonight, I live to party, comeback…’”
“Wait, stop,” Virgil said. “Let me guess a few. That’s Just the Way We Roll, Burnin’ Up, Sucker.”
“The first two were, but not the last one.”
Virgil laughed. “Maybe the last one was just implied.”
Janus frowned down. “What are you talking about? What does this all mean?”
Virgil pulled himself out from under his desk and grabbed his bag of phones. He dug through it for a few seconds before pulling one out and handing it to Janus. “I have a lab for my students where they get preloaded phones from the early 21st century and are supposed to guess the demographics of the person who owns it. This one is an iPhone 3 meant to belong to a pre-teen to teenage girl from the year 2009. Look under music artists starting with the letter ‘J.’”
15810
Confused, Janus scrolled through the old style phone, finding the music app and opening it easily. Upon getting to the ‘J’s, he immediately paused on an artist called the ‘Jonas Brothers.’ He clicked on it and read a few of the song titles. They weren’t all there, but…
“That rat bastard,” Janus said.
“Scroll to the bottom,” Virgil said. Janus did and found a song titled ‘Year 3000.’
“You’re kidding me.”
“Click on it,” Virgil requested.
Janus did, listening to the fairly standard pop like intro from the time period. It wasn’t until he got to the lyrics saying, ‘He told me he built a time machine’ that he cursed, understanding exactly what Pat had been doing. When the singer a few lines latter proclaimed that his neighbor said ‘I’ve been to the year 3000’ he almost smashed the artifact to pieces right then and there.
“I have no idea who this guy is,” Virgil said, “but he’s a comedic genius.”
 Chapter 11
Khalid caught him on his way back into the TPI building. “I heard you went to Silver Mountains to follow up on a lead,” she said.
“Yeah, but it was garbage,” he seethed. “All I learned was ‘Pat’ knows early 2000s popular culture and likes to fuck with us.”
She hummed. “I’d still like a report about whatever you found. Who knows what we might end up getting from seemingly inconsequential data.”
“Sure,” he said.
“Anyway,” she continued. “I have a mission for you.”
“We’re on lockdown,” Janus pointed out with a frown.
“For nonessentials,” she said. “This is essential.”
 “What happened?” Janus asked.
“We picked up a small time distortion in France 2027. At the moment, it is small enough not to cause any disruptions, but it is slowly growing, and we don’t know what caused it. Usually we’d just send surveillance agents at this stage, but considering what’s going on, I think it would be best to send a field agent. And it would just be you, because we don’t want to send too many people out at once.”
“Is this related to the time bomb?” Janus asked.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “At the very least, it’s not it being set off as it was in 2999, but if it’s been altered for some other purpose…”
 “I’ll go,” Janus said.
“I’ll send over the mission directive to everyone who needs it. You’ll go in around 3 hours.”
He nodded. “I’ll be ready,” he agreed.
In less then 3 hours, he was dressed for 2027 France and in decontamination. “Well,” he said out loud when he was given the all clear sign, “I hope I don’t explode.” He selected the coordinates on the timepiece and the next moment he was in a small alleyway in the city of Montpellier, France in 2027.
It was a little bit warm, but not stifling even in the mid-afternoon and he could faintly smell the sea on the breeze.
 After a moment to get his bearings, Janus made his way out of the alleyway and onto a small street. The street was lined with restaurants and shops as people went about their daily lives. He carefully integrated himself into the crowd and began weaving his way through them. He needed to find the source of the distortion but doing a quick scan with his timepiece told him there wasn’t any sign of it yet. He’d have to wait for it to act up.
For now, he decided to get slightly away from people by heading towards the river. He found a park that had benches along water.
 As he walked towards the river, he noticed a man on the bench, angled slightly away from Janus and looking out at the water. He immediately recognized the man. “You!” he exclaimed.
Pat’s head shot around to look at him, and he gave a slight head tilt. Then, he smiled, amused. “You are not the person I’m here for,” he said.
“Well, I am now,” Janus snapped. “Where’s the time bomb?”
“Time bomb?” Pat asked, eyebrows drawing together, but amusement on his lips. “Oh sweetie, the time bomb happened a long time ago for me.”
“What?” Janus asked.
“Oh, you’re just a baby,” Pat laughed. “Don’t you get it yet? The two of us are out of sync timeline wise. You’ve been apparently running around with a much younger version of me, but all of that happened quite a while ago for me. Don’t worry though, it gets better.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The time bomb has been long deactivated. Here,” he reached into his pocket and tossed him something. Janus caught it on instinct. “Proof. Don’t worry, we took all of the dangerous bits out years ago from my perspective.” It was the core of a time bomb, the time bomb Pat had stolen if he was to be believed. “You can tell your people it’s safe to remove the lockdown.”
Janus curled his fingers around it. “I don’t get it.”
Something on Pat’s wrist beeped and he looked at it curiously before he stood from the bench, “and I don’t have time to explain it.”
Janus jerked forward to grab his wrist. “Don’t you dare.”
Pat reached up to pat his face. “Don’t worry honey, you’ll be seeing me later.” He twisted his wrist and a small electric current sparked between them. Janus jerked his hand away, and Pat smiled at him. “Or… earlier.” He winked, and then he was gone.
Janus cursed, but he didn’t have more than a moment to be angry because in the next second there was a yelp, and something landed on top of him. He was bowled over into a tangle of limbs and pained noises.
“Oh my god, we need to figure out the height thing,” a familiar voice groaned, just as Janus managed to pull himself away. Pat blinked up at him and his eyes narrowed. “You,” he hissed.
“…What?”
 Pat jumped to his feet, leaving Janus on the ground in front of him. “What are you doing here?” he spat, his tone much different then the one he’d been using a moment earlier. His hair was longer than it had been before, and if Janus looked closely, he did seem like he was a couple of years younger suddenly. Out of sync timelines. I’ll see you earlier. Holy shit.
He was suddenly very glad he’d been forced to let the other Pat (the older Pat?) go, else they’d have a whole thing on their hands.
“What are you doing here?” was Janus’s retort as he stood up and dusted himself off.
 “It’s none of your business,” Pat told him.
“It is my business,” Janus said, “because for all I know, you are the cause of the time distortions I’m after. Considering that I doubt you have a license for that,” he waved at the odd looking timepiece of Pat’s wrist, “it’s very possible.”
“What are you?” Pat asked, “the time police.”
“Yes.”
Pat dared to roll his eyes, but then he tilted his head slightly. “Time distortions?” he asked.
“Yes, that’s why I’m here.”
He still had a confused frown on his face. Did… did he not know what a time distortion was?
 Just then there was a sudden flash of lightening through the sky despite the absolutely lack of clouds. He and Pat both looked up.
“Is that the time distortion?” Pat asked.
“It’s probably the beginning of it,” Janus said.
“That doesn’t look good,” Pat said as he squinted at the sky.
“Just wait,” Janus answered grimly. He looked at Pat. “Usually I’d arrest you on the spot,” he said, “but I’m alone for this one, and that is far more important at the moment. So, have a nice day doing whatever bullshit you are doing.” He glanced at his timepiece.
 Janus turned to walk away from him.
“Wait!” Pat exclaimed, and Janus turned back to him to see that his eyes were wide. Janus raised an eyebrow. “So, this time distortion thing is dangerous, right?”
“Depending on the severity, it could cause time to fracture around this place and time, basically erasing it from existence and killing everyone in it.”
“Well, in that case, I should go with you. To help.”
Janus looked him up and down. “You… have no idea what’s happening, do you? You’re an amateur.”
“I’m not,” he claimed. “I just. Pooling resources. You know?”
Janus sighed. “Well, you going around mucking about this time period without knowing what you’re doing could just exasperate the situation, so fine, you can tag along.”
“I know what I’m doing,” he grumbled even as he rushed to Janus’s side at the permission.
“Sure,” Janus said with an eyeroll. He guessed he was a babysitter now. “I believe you.”
 Chapter 12
There was something off about his readings. Clearly the time distortion was starting to pull at this place with the way the weather was flickering between storming and sunny, but he still couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact location of the source of it. He could, however, get that it must be somewhere on this side of the river more into the downtown area, so that’s the way he was walking, Pat close on his heels.
“What’s your name, by the way?” he asked.
Janus shot him a glare. “Elvis Presley,” he said.
Pat frowned, clearly knowing who that was. “There’s no reason to be mean.”
 “You did it to me first.”
“…Introduced myself as a famous musician?” he asked. Janus didn’t respond, and after a moment, Pat laughed lightly. “You really don’t understand time travel, do you?”
“Oh, yeah,” Janus said. “Name the three types of time distortions.”
“Just because I don’t know the names of things doesn’t mean I don’t understand them.” He stuck out his tongue. Janus was dealing with an actual toddler. “Unlike you who has a bunch of fancy words, but just caused a time loop.”
Janus scoffed. “I did not just cause a time loop.”
“Maybe not a big one,” Pat agreed, “but you did.”
 Janus raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never introduced myself to you with a musician’s name, but now you’ve told me that I will. So, at some point in the future I will have to, thereby making you think to say that now. Time loop.”
“That’s not… that doesn’t count.”
“Does too,” Pat claimed. “Like I have said once before and you may or may not have heard me say before, anything you do to me to get back at me for something I haven’t done yet, just causes whatever that is to happen in the first place.”
“But you’re still going to do it.”
 “Then take it up with future me. I haven’t done anything to you.” Then he paused and sighed. “…Which I guess means you’ve done nothing to me.” He seemed to mull this concept over for a long moment. “Well you were a bit crabby about me not knowing what a time distortion was, but I can forgive you for that.”
“And I’m supposed to forgive you?”
“Like I said,” Pat said. “I haven’t done anything yet.”
“You also haven’t done anything to endear yourself to me either,” Janus grumbled.
“Hmm,” Pat said. “Fine.” He pulled something out of his pocket. “You’re obviously not having much luck finding whatever you’re looking for. Tell me what it is and I’ll help.”
Janus squinted at what was in his hand. “Is that… an iPhone 5?”
“No!” he said. “It’s super-secret time travel tech disguised as an iPhone 5!”
“We’re in 2027,” Janus said. “Not a great disguise. Those things have been obsolete for a decade.”
“Well I’ll keep in mind to have my tech disguised as phones from the right year next time,” Pat said, sticking out his tongue. “Now what are we looking for?”
“If my timepiece can’t find it, I’m certain yours can’t.”
 Pat rolled his eyes and tapped on the device’s screen a couple of times. “I’m going to guess it’s that,” he said proudly.
Janus leaned over to look at the screen. “Are you using google maps?” he sputtered.
“It integrates time relevant data like traffic conditions and local weather warnings with time travel technology,” Pat explained. “Something seems to be going on in a museum a couple of blocks that way.”
“I…” Janus said. That was actually a really good idea, usually unnecessary with scouts observing that data beforehand, and Janus wasn’t sure how good the accuracy would be considering whatever was taking it into account was automated, but still a good idea. “Well, I guess since we have no other leads, we can check it out.”
 Pat looked far too proud for having only used a piece of tech that hadn’t even been confirmed as accurate. “Then, let’s go,” he said right as a chilly wind started to pick up and a couple of snowflakes began to fall around them. “Before that gets worse…”
Janus let Pat lead with his iPhone. Janus’s timepiece still wasn’t picking up a clear signal for some reason, but it seemed to point in the same general direction as Pat’s. Strangely though, as they got closer to their destination, the signal started to get fuzzier. Pat’s tech seemed unaffected leading them closer to the museum.
 When they got to the Musée Fabre museum, Janus stopped. “What?” Pat asked. He was shivering slightly in the cold and holding his arms around himself.
“My timepiece stopped working completely,” he said.
“I’m assuming that’s weird?” Pat said.
“It is,” Janus confirmed, turning to squint at him suspiciously. “How do I know you’re not the one doing it?”
“If I was doing it, wouldn’t I have just knocked it out from the get go?” Pat questioned.
Janus pursed his lips. “I don’t know,” he said. “Would you have? Maybe it’s a trick.”
Pat’s eyes narrowed a bit on him. “Think what you want, but I’m freezing. Come in with me if you want.”
 He dithered from a few moments before following Pat inside. Pat had already struck up a conversation with the woman charging admission into art museum. She was looking at him, her brow knit as he spoke. Janus nudged him away from her getting a confused glance from him in return. He shot a smile at the woman.
“Two adult passes for the museum and the Hotel Sabatier d’Espevran, please,” he said, placing down 14 euro.
“Ah,” she said, still looking at Pat oddly. “Yes sir.” She gave them the passes and Janus quickly shuffled Pat away.
“What is wrong with your French?” he hissed once they were out of earshot.
 “What?” he asked, bewildered.
“You sound like you’re reading Le Comte de Monte-Cristo. No one talks like that anymore.”
“I’m a little rusty,” Pat defended himself.
“Two centuries?” Janus asked. Pat stuck his tongue out like a child once again. “Is that your only way to respond to legitimate criticism?”
“What does it even matter anyway? No one ever expects time travel, at least not for something so silly.”
“It’s not silly,” Janus said. “It’s a legitimate issue. The wrong person who’s watched too much science fiction notices and you’re putting the timeline at risk. Not to mention if there are other time travelers around that aren’t as nice as me.”
 “Are there a lot of time travelers around?” Pat asked, sounding intrigued.
“There are plenty, both legal and not.”
“Huh,” he said, “but what are the chances we’ll run into another one?”
“Considering the time distortion? There could be many. Opportunists wanting to capitalize off the chaos, people trying to stop it, like me, and not to mention the person who caused it.”
“Wait, someone made it happen?” Pat asked.
“These things don’t just happen naturally.”
“Huh. So, something like this has to be caused by a person?”
“Yes,” Janus said. “…Why?”
Pat smiled. “No reason. I think we should head upstairs. Whatever I’m picking up says it’s around here, but I don’t see anything. Maybe it’s a floor or two above us.”
“Which is why it’s ridiculous to use Google Maps.”
 “Would you rather use yours?” he asked sweetly.
“I’m still not convinced it’s not your doing,” Janus growled. “Why does your tech still work when mine doesn’t?”
“Probably the same reason the ring did,” he muttered.
“What?”
“What?”
“You may be the most aggravating being in the universe.”
Pat glanced at him with a bit of a smirk. “I can’t tell you,” he said. “It would be a much bigger risk to the timeline than me speaking in French from the 1830s. But, I’m pretty sure the reason mine still works is just a software difference.”
“What the hell do you mean a software difference?”
 Pat opened his mouth, doubtlessly to supply him with yet another frustratingly cheeky and unhelpful answer. Yet, Pat did not have a chance to do so as, just as Janus stepped onto the second floor of the museum, the ground started to violently shake. Janus tried to turn to catch Pat as the other man’s foot slipped on the last step, but he couldn’t do so in time. Pat fell onto his hands and knees, sliding back a few steps and smacking his face into the stairs hard once and then a couple of times more after that as he slid.
 Chapter 13
The room stopped shaking after a moment. “Ow,” Pat said. He seemed a bit stunned but was still moving at least. He carefully maneuvered himself into a seating position. “Ouch. Owie.” He reached up to poke his own nose. “Ow!” Janus slapped his hand away when he got there. A bit of blood was already trickling from his nose and there was a small cut over his eye, but it wasn’t bleeding too much.
Janus pushed him so he was leaning slightly forward and produced a pack of time appropriate tissues from his pocket. He pulled one out of the package and offered it to him.
 He took it and pressed it up against his nose to try to stop the bleeding. He seemed mostly alright though Janus imagined he’d have plenty of bruises down the line. The power in the museum flickered and Janus looked up. Now that he was listening, he could hear people panicking in and out of the museum.
“We should probably get off of the stairs,” he suggested.
“Yeah,” Pat agreed. Janus helped him to his feet, and they climbed back up the steps. Janus looked around and found an employees only sign a few feet away. Usually he’d not risk that as it could get him into trouble he didn’t want to be in, but considering the earthquake that had just happened, he could probably play it off as panic.
 He ushered Pat into a small room and found a chair and table. He had Pat sit in the chair and pulled out another one of the tissues to dab at the blood coming from the cut over his eyes. “Here,” he said. “Hold that there. I’m going to go see if there are any bandages about.”
Pat took the tissue with the hand not already holding one to his nose. “Thanks,” he said.
Janus nodded and got to his feet. The lights flickered once again but didn’t stay off for now. He didn’t know how long that would last.
 He couldn’t see anything that might hold bandages in this room, but there was a second door. “I’ll be right back,” he told Pat, exiting through it.
The lights flickered once more as the door closed behind him and he cursed. When they came back up Janus’s eyes immediately fell on a man. They both froze.
“Remus!” Janus hissed the second their eyes met. “What are you doing here?”
Remus blinked at him for a moment. “Hi. Janus,” he said. “I… come to France for… tea sometimes?”
“There isn’t any tea back here.”
“So, there isn’t…” he said. There was a moment of silence. “Uh, so I actually cannot talk to you right now.”
 “What do you mean?” Janus asked. Remus grimaced in a way Janus had never seen from him before. It immediately set off alarm bells in Janus’s head. “Oh my god,” Janus said. “Oh my god. You’re not from the same time as me.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Remus mumbled.
“Holy shit, you’re looping?!”
“It’s… not looping if I wasn’t here the first time.”
“Remus, we spend more than 12 hours a day together most of the time. The only thing worse than this is if I looped back to this time myself.”
“…Yeah. Anyway, I need to leave now.”
“Please do.”
 He turned to go, but then stopped. “Oh, and,” he reached into his pocket and tossed something at Janus. Janus caught it.
It was Band-Aids.
“Oh, shit,” Janus spat at the clear use of foreknowledge. “I hate this. I hate you. I’m going to kill you the next time you see me.”
“Sure, Jan.”
“Go.”
He did, slipping into the next room while Janus took a deep breath and then turned back to the door behind him. He schooled his face before Pat looked up. “I found some Band-Aids.”
Pat nodded and Janus came over to squat next to him.
 Janus opened the box and Pat looked down. His eyes lit up with sudden joy so intense that Janus felt like he’d just gotten a punch to the gut. “Kitty Band-Aids!” he exclaimed. Janus bothered to actually look at the design on the container, only to note the cartoon cats on the front. Pat was almost vibrating off his seat. “Look they’re all so cute!” He grabbed the container from him to inspect the different designs printed on the back with glee even as a bit of blood was still trickling from his nose.
Janus took the box back gently and guided the wad of bloody Kleenexes back to his nose.
 “Which would you like?” Janus asked.
“Oh, they are all so cute,” Pat cooed. “Um, how about that one!” he pointed. “Or that one! Or that one!”
“Pat you only have one cut.”
“But they’re all so cute!” Pat said, tongue tucking into his cheek. He contemplated the box again. “Let’s do the black one,” he finally settled on.
Janus selected one of the Band-Aids with a black cat wrapped around a pink ball of yarn and staring back at them with wide green eyes. The think looked like it had partaken in one two many doses of catnip, but Janus didn’t mention that.
 Instead, he just carefully unstuck the backing from the Band-Aid and motioned for Pat to remove the tissue from his forehead. He smiled at Janus as he drew back.
Janus cleared his throat. “How’s the nose.”
“It’s slowing down,” Pat replied. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Janus replied. They met eyes for a second before Pat looked away back at the box of Band-Aids.
“Oh,” Pat said. “There’s a grey one. I didn’t notice.” He pointed to it. “I should have used that one.”
“Do you like grey cats?” Janus asked.
“I like all kitties,” he said, “but one of my roommates loves grey cats. He had one when he was a kid and thinks of them as good omens. Seeing one always brightens up his day.”
“A friend of mine has a grey cat,” Janus said. “She’s much more tolerable than him.”
Pat laughed a bit. “Don’t be mean,” he said.
“Oh, he deserves it, don’t worry.” Janus considered him for a moment. “Here,” he said, pulling out one of the Band-Aids with the grey cat on it. It did, actually, look a lot like Diesel Fuel.
“But I don’t…”
Janus just shrugged and stuck it on his cheek where there was no wound. Pat giggled and touched it with a finger. Janus stood back up.
“Can I have another tissue?” Pat asked.
“Sure.” Janus handed a tissue over to him and he crumpled up the bloody ones in his hand.
“I think I’m good to keep going,” Pat said, putting the new tissue under his nose. “The nose will stop soon.”
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