Tumgik
#nobody's supposed to be here
tha-wrecka-stow · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
19 notes · View notes
questioningespecialy · 5 months
Text
youtube
Deborah Cox - Nobody's Supposed To Be Here popped up in my head for some damn reason, so here it be 🤷🏿‍♂️
1 note · View note
idolomantises · 4 months
Text
sometimes i forget i'm allowed to be indulgent. i'll make another female character and several lesbians and then think "Gosh i hope people dont mind 🥺" like hello? these are MY ocs, what the fuck am i saying.
4K notes · View notes
1 note · View note
heartorbit · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
just how can i protect your smile?
409 notes · View notes
puppyeared · 4 months
Text
Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u
387 notes · View notes
whaliiwatching · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
dumbasses ft daughter in the modern era
263 notes · View notes
skyward-floored · 4 months
Text
Lu incredibles au memes because I had some time to kill this afternoon
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
202 notes · View notes
straycalamities · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
happy halloween everynyan!
233 notes · View notes
mishapen-dear · 8 months
Text
oh im gonna be SO annoying about bbh in a minute. i keep saying the same thing over and over again but his character is too fucking complex motherfucker is like:
"i'm a demon who is 11,000 years old and i refuse to acknowledge that im a demon nor that i do bad things (like steal furniture) but i will help people every chance i get despite saying im going to stop doing that and i am going to devote my life to protecting these fragile little eggs even though i know im going to lose them one day because i love them too much (and i know i can do that and it will one day be okay, because i have an immortal diamond to keep me company even if he isn't here now). when my friend throws himself beneath the spokewheel of the federation i will be there, bitter about my loss, but i will not start a revolution until he proves he deserves one. i will do what i can to safeguard his system against corruption because i am afraid the federation will use him to hurt us. i know he doesn't want to hurt us. he keeps hurting me. he is isolated by our distrust in him and he is still working hard to try to be a good person in an inherently corrupt system that cannot be fixed so i will build him a statue. i will not kill him when he takes a picture of me in the presidential chair (that was almost mine) and puts it on his wall and calls me 'employee of the month.' i didn't do all of that work for the federation i did it for him like i do it for others because they are my friends. i will exhaust every option i have to build a reason to NOT start a revolution. to not kill him. because i have to say that i tried. i feel like i have made so many compromises. i have held myself back to try to find reason. i will still remove his access to my base. when the island turns against me and he locks me in a cage for a crime i did not commit, i will remove everyone's access (except for my family the french and my family the eggs). i am having fun. when the eggs appear the next day with cracks and dirty shells i will worry, but i know they're strong. they'll be okay. (when i find my son's secret lab and his unethical experiments that cause him harm i will be proud because he has done what i do. he has helped. i want him to be safe but we are never safe and i trust him more than anyone else. i know now, and i can help him be safe.) when the eggs go missing i will be silent. i will look for them, and i will destroy for them, and i will bargain for them, and i will cry for them, and i will not accept their loss. when my friend who is president who once built a safehouse that saved my eggs' lives is finally damaged by the federation (like i knew he would be when he became president) and he starts to hurt people by pushing the same treatment onto them i will not be surprised. i will be surprised when he tries to marry me. i will not blame him (much) when he tries to kill me. our children are missing. he is forced to pretend that his is not. i wish i could too. i will not tell him yes or no because i need an open avenue to manipulate him (because to save him i will have to manipulate him). i will not marry him because he is out of his mind. i have said marriage is overrated. i have also said that i want to live with him in a house with our kids and my skeppy. when he tells me that he wants to be happy with me i will still say 'aw' because it is the most genuine thing he has said to me and i miss my friend. i will still try to kill him. i fail to kill him with someone else's plan. i don't place a block to lock him in place. i hesitate. it doesn't matter if it's on purpose because the next plan works. i will reveal an item that could destroy me to my closest allies (and tubbo) because it will let us save him. we save him. when he kills himself 18 times over i back away from the explosion in surprise and then step close again. while i have grieved i have thrown myself into mines. it doesn't matter. i am numb and want to feel something. everything has lost colour. we save him.
i visit federation workers and ask them about my eggs and they do not tell me anything. i know they are lying. i visit the graveyard to talk to my lost eggs. i have lost all of the eggs. i do not know how to save them. i lay in the mud. it rains and rain signifies the monster has returned to kill my children but my children are not here and so i do not care. when i go home i will become so angry and i will go down to my basement (which i have locked like my friend locked the entrance to his greatest fantasy. we are so alike and our delusions are different. he child was real; here is the secret to finding my children) where i have locked a federation worker away. i will not wash away the blood stains.
i am also part-time grim reaper and i only ever dress up in robes to make people drink more water."
240 notes · View notes
rillette · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
anyways back to charlieposting
251 notes · View notes
sallytwo · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
... The poem may be an elegy for childhood losses.
(On Dream Song 29, Thomas Travisano)
306 notes · View notes
sandreeen · 23 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr April Fools Boop with Sung Hyunjae & Han Yoojin, inspired by @transsongtaewon's post
55 notes · View notes
milk-ducts · 6 months
Text
you can see the sniper i have trained on immortal in the background .
Tumblr media
145 notes · View notes
Text
TW: Unreality, major character injury, poor medical technique (and IC they know they're not getting it quite right too), panic attacks, brief vomitting
Maybe a bit long for tumblr, but eh, you'll live, and I'll upload it eventually.
Theoretically safe in his room, FitMC is awoken by the sound of his warpstone activating. He sits, and reaches for a knife, and feels Pac sleepily grasp for him as he disturbs the man's sleep.
"Pac," he keeps his voice as quiet as possible. "Let go. Someone's here."
Pac does not wake as cleanly as Fit, but still grips the knife passed to him, hiding it under the blanket and still pretending to be asleep.
Whomever came takes a while to find them, but eventually there is a knock on his bedroom door; Fit grips his sword, wishes he'd realised he had time to dress and put armour on, and calls "come in!"
Two small figures run into the room, and he tucks the sword away - keeps it close, just in case these are imposters again, but tucks it away.
"Tallulah?" Pac has noticed them too, sitting up as soon as he does and opening his arms. "Chayanne? What's wrong?"
Tallulah runs over and hides in Pac's arms before pulling out a sign; Chayanne gets straight onto writing his. Neither child has their hat or their backpack, and there's the slight glow of a potion over both of them.
'/Something's wrong with dad/' Chayanne writes, then pulls out another sign.
'/Papa says the house is on fire. It's not/' Tallulah writes.
Right. Fuck. Another message? After the last one... Fit's genuinely concerned. He believes well enough that the messages are real, but he worries about the doubt they cast into Philza's mind - and also what something like that contacting his friend could possibly mean.
'/He said find you/' Chayanne's second sign reads. '/Will you help him?/'
'/He was scared/' Tallulah adds. '/Tios, papa is so scared/'
Fit and Pac share a look. Pac nods, and Fit wishes he were telepathic and so could send his roommate an apology for the disturbed night.
"Why don't I go help him out?" Fit offers. "I'll go look after him and have a chat. Pac can look after you two."
"A sleepover!" Pac's grin at them both is strained, but Fit doubts the children notice. "Let's go to my home and eat all the chocolate, yes? Chayanne, do you want to make a cake for your papa?"
Fewer people know of Ilha Chume Labs than Fit's hole in the ground, and even if he means Chume Labs proper the warren of labs will keep them safe.
The kids are still hesitant to agree; Fit smiles at them too, and nods, "your little secret. I know Phil says no snacks after bedtime, but he left you in my care and I say you can."
It doesn't really win them over; Chayanne puts down another sign '/you promise to help dad?/'
Fit makes eye contact with the boy, deadly serious, "everything I can. I promise."
'/you leave first/'
Fit doesn't know if Philza trusts Pac with his children, but Fit trusts him, and honestly they're the least of his concerns. The old crow thinking himself trapped in a burning house - why the hell didn't he leave with the kids - is far more of his worry. Is it the Ender King again? Or some other fucked up entity contacting him in the most bullshit way possible?
"Alright," he says, and grabs his warpstone and a shirt. "Be good for Pac, okay?"
"They're sweet," Pac promises. "They'll be good."
Fit knows that’s a lie, but Pac wrangles Richas well enough, so surely he can manage Philza's kids.
He trusts his faith, and worries for a friend, and warps away.
---
Phil and Missa is quiet, and still, and just as calm as it always is. The moonlight reflects on the glass, and it looks nothing like a house that two children might have fled from. Nothing at all seems wrong, but nothing ever does seem wrong; Fit knows better than to take it at face value.
He’s already opened the hatch before he remembers just how jumpy his friend is, and calls out a loud “oi, Phil!”
He’s already in the main room by the time he hears a reply, glancing between the three options as he fails to choose one.
“Kitchen,” Philza’s voice is quiet, broken, strained as though speaking on an over-strained throat. “Be-” a cough “be careful!”
Careful of what? Tallulah said he thought the house was on fire, so… It’s a waste of resources, but Fit splashes himself with a fire resistance potion anyway. Just so he can tell Philza he’s safe, and not have to lie about any follow up questions.
Depends how bad the vision is, really.
Because Fit is pretty sure they are visions, not hallucinations. It’s just the after-effects on his old friend’s mental health are worse for it.
The kitchen is the door to the left. When Fit steps in, he makes a show of checking it. Everything is normal - down to and including the pot on the stove - except for Philza himself. Still in his pyjamas, stood with his back to the wall. He looked like he was reading something, but glances over his shoulder as soon as he hears Fit approach.
There’s nothing in his hands, not that Fit can see, but they still hover like they’re holding up a book.
His eyes are shot wide open, so wide it goes past terror to border on head injury. His breathing, too, is fucked - Fit can see him panting - but that’s a panic attack for you.
“You good?” Fit asks someone who very, very obviously isn’t. “I was worried, so I asked Pac to watch the kids. Chayanne and Tallulah said something was wrong…?”
It looks like Philza is about to reply, but then he starts coughing. Fit gives him a moment, but it keeps going. His body shudders, gasping for air between coughs as he slumps against the wall.
It’s fucking terrifying; Fit runs forwards before he knows what to say, only stopping himself once Philza manages to catch his breath, and Fit remembers what a fucking terrible idea it is to charge someone whose brain is trapped outside reality.
So he slows to a stop, and brings up his hands.
“Easy, easy,” Fit drops his voice lower, trying to project calm he absolutely does not feel. “What can you see, Phil? Because whoever’s talking to you, they’re not talking to me.”
“Not- ah- not talking?” Philza takes a deep, sharp breath - gasping again. His voice is shaking, distant, so quiet Fit has to strain to hear it even over the silence. “Fire. It’s- It’s fucking… hell in here. Lava. Netherrack. Soul- Soul sand. The whole- whole lot, Fit, the whole damned lot.”
The Nether? Shit. Nobody likes the Nether, so no wonder Phil is panicking so hard he’s choking himself. Fit eases himself forward a little more, trying not to scare his friend more than he’s already terrified.
“What else?” he asks.
It’s not exactly grounding when Philza is seeing another reality, but it’s the only thing Fit knows how to try.
“Book, blackstone, blaze rod, quartress.”
That train of words is said much more clearly, more certainly, but still sounding called from a much greater distance than is between them. Fit can hear the panicked tears threatening to spill over with every word, and his heart fucking breaks.
Gentle, gentle, do his best to help. Fit’s not a gentle person by nature, but if his friends need him he’s going to try.
“Hey, hey look at me,” he orders, trying to be kind but knowing he’s a bit sharper than usual. What can he do to break the tension? Flirt? Flirting always goes down a treat. “See this sexy bald head of mine? I’m not going to let any Ender King hurt you /or/ your kids.”
Fit isn’t exactly sure how he could stop anything with such a name, but he’d certainly try. 
Then Philza says something. It’s so quiet and broken up he can barely hear it, his breathing growing faster and more desperate as he does.
It takes Fit a moment to parse the words - “not him. Blaze Em-press. His enemy.”
What?
“That’s why she set your house on fire? Pissed he got you first?”
It’s the only sense he can make of the enemy of someone Philza is so fucking terrified of making him think he and his house are burning.
“A friend,” Philza says, and begins coughing again. “She’s- a… friend. But’s she’s- … Also the Nether… You know? I-I think- Fuck, my head hurts.”
No bet.
Philza coughs again, spit hitting the floor. At first Fit thinks nothing of it, then he notices the discolouration - not black, not fully black, but slightly speckled with it.
Shit. The coughing isn’t because he panicked himself into not breathing right. The vision… The vision isn’t a hallucination, and it isn’t just a vision, because whatever Philza’s brain can do it can’t fucking fake smoke in his lungs.
Smoke that as far as Fit can tell /does not exist/.
“Not really,” he answers, shaky himself now but needing to reply to the ‘you know’. He has friends, yeah, but if they set his house on fire and tried to kill him by smoke inhalation they wouldn’t be soon. “Let’s get you out of here, and grab some water.”
And once Philza is away from the smoke, get him to Pac and hope the engineer has fucked around in the lab enough to know what to do, because this is far beyond Fit’s abilities to treat.
Philza doens’t reply; Fit closes the rest of the distance. He kneels down infront of his friend, touching his shoulder and trying to assess his condition - no burns on his face, at least. From what Fit remembers, burns on your face mean you’re extremely fucked.
The touch at least seems to break Philza’s trance a little; he reaches out and touches Fit’s shoulders too, using them to lever himself up. Having realised his friend is legitimately and physically hurt, Fit keeps his hands near.
Just in case.
“I’m sorry,” it seems hard for Philza to breathe, and harder still for him to talk. “I must look… I’m sorry.”
He’s back to himself a little, then, but it’s still awful words he says.
“You’re scared,” Fit says, and he’s terrified too - he’s just forcing his breaths steady, his heart calm, and accepting the fact he’ll have nightmares about this day for months. “It’s fucking scary, just thinking about the idea. Entities from elsewhere lasering shit into your brain? Making you think your house is on fire? No thanks.”
Philza laughs, and it’s blissfully familiar for a second.
Then the coughing starts again.
Philza borderline collapses, his body unable to take the force of the coughs. Fit grabs him, keeping him from the floor. He helps him bend a bit better and rubs at his back. That’s what you do to help someone stop coughing, right? Rub their back?
Fuck, he’s so out of his depth right now.
“Easy, easy,” he tries. “Let’s just get out of here. We can talk outside.”
Under Fit’s guidance, Philza manages to walk. It’s slow going, and Fit has at least half of his weight, but he manages. It’s not far to outside, at least; the bunker is big for a bunker, but it’s still no labyrinth.
And then Philze drops from his hold.
“Fuck!”
Fit doesn’t even know what happens. One moment they’re walking, the next Philza is on - in - the floor. He has no way to comprehend it, his entire mind fucking straining to compute seeing both the wooden floor and Philza /inside/ it at once.
And Philza is screaming in agony. Agony, agony, fuck Fit doesn’t think he’s ever heard him scream like that before.
He doesn’t - he doesn’t know what to do.
So he grabs Philza and yanks him up. The floor gives him up easily, and Fit scroops him into his arms.
There’s burns, there’s so many burns - every bit of Philza that was below the floorline - thank fuck not his chest or his head, the survalist managing to catch himself like so many times before - is burnt. His hands, his feet, lower arms, most of his legs…
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Fit tries to reassure.
He doesn’t worry about taking it slowly or about stopping the injuries getting knocked - what Philza needs is out, and away, and he knows Pac has shit for burns they’ve just got to get there.
But first, cold water. Chume Labs is huge, and Chayanne’s paddling pool is a quicker walk.
And every step of the way, Philza screams and sobs and chokes on his throat.
He keeps up the promises of it’ll be okay, trying desperately to soothe at least one of the three. He carries Philza outside. It’s not glamorous or comfortable, but they get there. They get there, they fucking get there.
Fit as good as dumps Philza in the paddling pool, making sure the burns are covered by water. There’s a shudder in the screams, and the sobs start winning; with one hand he rubs Philza’s back, still awkwardly promising his presence, while with the other he grabs his communicator.
/You whisper to pactw: Where are you?/
The reply isn’t immediate. He considers texting the injuries, but… maybe best to assess them first. Let Pac know exactly what they’re dealing with, and also make sure Philza is okay with the Brazilian’s help.
Speaking of… Philza has mostly stopped choking.
But he isn’t doing much of anything else.
“Phil?” he asks, keeping his voice low and simple. “Can you hear me, Phil?”
Philza moves up a little, like he’s straightening to answer. He opens his mouth and- and then leans sideways, over some of the nearby flowers.
Fit can only support his back and watch in terror as Philza vomits into the bushes, flecks of sticky black smoke clinging to that too.
He can feel his own hands shaking as he supports his friend, keeping him from getting vomit on his injuries or in the water, and trying to comfort him all the same. It’s horrible, it’s terrifying, but there’s not exactly much he can do.
Hopefully it’s just panic nausea. He hopes to Hausmaster it’s just panic nausea.
After only a little bit the vomit ends, Philza leaning back and being caught against Philza’s chest.
“... Fit?” his voice is even weaker than before.
“Right here, big boy,” Fit tries to keep his reply lighter than his horror. “You with me?”
There’s a shuddering breath, followed by a nod.
Philza could probably do with a potion, but the only one he has is in Fit’s pocket. He didn’t grab his bag or anything before heading over, and he’s regretting it now. But to access it…
“Okay, fuck,” he breathes, clearing his mind with the swearing. “If I let go for a second, can you keep yourself above water?”
There’s a hesitant nod - Fit slowly lets go as Philza adjusts, making sure he is steady before digging through his pockets. The potion is… Somewhere. It won’t fix everything, not for shit this bad, but it’ll help with the shock and any infection risk and take the edge off the pain. Maybe heal some of his throat on the way down, too.
He finds it, and puts it to Philza’s lips. It doesn’t take much effort to convince him to drink, pink liquid going easily down.
When he opens his eyes, Philza looks a little more present, and Fit sighs in relief.
“What happened?” his voice is still quiet and scratched, but more solid than when they first got to the pool.
“Fuck if I know,” and honestly, it’s true. Fit can guess and such, but half of the reason he believes in magic crap so easily is because it constantly happens and he has no idea how to parse it, so may as well just take it at face value. “The lava burns are real, though. There was nothing there, it was like watching… I don’t fucking know, you glitch into the floor? Then you screamed, and there’s lava burns.”
He watches Philza examine his burns. With a worried hand he stops him from taking them from the water, massaging his shoulder with a thumb he can only hope is comforting.
It’s comforting for Fit, at least.
“Can I message Pac about this?” he asks, because fuck he’s out of his depth, and Pac and Mike have dealt with enough lab accidents to know some weird medical areas.
Philza quirks something like an attempted smile, “assumed you’d already told him, mate.”
“Not about this,” Fit hasn’t, either; only asking where Pac is since he left. “But… Look, I can stop the burns killing you, but I can’t treat them properly, and I’m pretty sure your lungs are fucked.”
Confusion crawls across Philza’s face. Fit watches in concern as he raises a hand to his lips, it coming away with some of the discoloured, sticky mucus.
He sees the terror in Philza’s eyes as he glances up to meet them.
“Can we not scare the kids?”
Fit takes that as permission. He opens his comms, to find Pac has already replied.
/pactw whispers to you: at Chume Labs
pactw whispers to you: got Chayanne and Tallulah asleep in Mike’s room
pactw whispers to you: how’s Philza?
you whisper to pactw: not good. You got anything for lava burns and smoke inhalation?/
“Pac says they’re already asleep,” Fit promises, and keeps any wondering about how that happened to himself. “They’re going to notice, but we can just tell them in the morning.”
But at least by then the burns will be covered up and their dad might have his head back.
Philza nods, and Fit returns to his comms.
/pactw whispers to you: the fire was real?
you whisper to pactw: real enough to hurt him, not real enough for me to see
you whisper to pactw: it’s freaking me out, but i know what burns look like
you whisper to pactw: and vomiting up smoke ash/
He looks up from the comms to find Philza’s eyes closed. For a moment his heart stops; “don’t sleep just yet.”
Philza gestures at him in reply, and he isn’t sure what it is, but it’s a sign of life at least.
Something approximating fuck off, he’s sure. Fit turns back to his comms, but keeps a closer eye on his friend.
/pactw whispers to you: bring him here
pactw whispers to you: i’m not a doctor but we have some supplies
pactw whispers to you: will get it set up
pactw whispers to you: or would the order be better?
you whisper to pactw: will ask/
“Okay,” he looks at Philza more critically, assessing the damage for himself. “Pac’s got stuff at Chume Labs, and luckily for us that’s also where he took Chayanne and Tallulah. He can either meet us there, or at the Order.”
“Kids,” Philza immediately replies, and Fit is not the slightest bit surprised.
/you whisper to pactw: we’ll come to you/
“Right,” he glances over Pac’s confirmation, and shuts his communicator away. “Do you think you can manage your warpstone?”
Fit really, really hopes that Philza pulling it out means yes, because he’s not sure how to get him anywhere otherwise.
So he pulls out his own, and warps over there.
---
When he arrives Chume Labs, Philza is half-collapsed against the waystone, and dripping wet. Neither is unexpected; Fit scoops him back up, and carries him to the turtle. There’s worryingly little reaction, but his eyes are open and blinking normally, and he winces properly when he coughs.
Managing the turtle while carrying someone is a bit awkward, but Fit manages. Just like he usually does. As it makes its way across, Fit texts Pac to let them know they’re there. He expects a message back saying which floor to go to, but instead Pac meets them at the elevator.
“Fit?” he asks first, then. “Phil? Are you okay?”
Philza manages to mumble something which sounds mostly like a hello; the look Fit and Pac share is worried. Fit sits them both down while Pac sets the floor, and the mechanism crawls to life.
“Here, I bought splash potions,” Pac shows them first to Fit, before throwing them on Philza.
Fit gets splashed as well, the tingle running along his skin. Philza’s body relaxes somewhat, his breathing steadying a little.
“Thank you, Pac,” Fit says. “I didn’t have my bag.”
“Did you have anything?” Pac asks, hands trembling as he visually checks them both over.
“Gave him a basic potion just before I messaged you,” Fit replies. “Otherwise… Got him in cold water, but I didn’t know what else.”
Pac nods, shifting between his feet, “we need a real hospital.”
“We need a real doctor,” Fit points out.
Pac can do nothing but agree to that. He’s about to say something else, when the lift arrives.
There’s a bed with some equipment set up on one side, but Pac leads Fit and Philza over to a chair instead. It’s just like the ones Pac constantly leaves around, except red this time. A whole pile of equipment is beside it, and it faces an open door.
One which shows Chayanne, Tallulah, and Richas safely asleep in a little pile.
Fit places Philza on the chair, only able to stand and watch as Pac fits an oxygen mask to his face.
“He should really have,” Pac gestures a bit, frowning as he pulls the elastics properly. “I forget the word. But nobody knows how to do it, so…”
“That bad?” Fit asks.
“There’s not much to do. Makes it really scary,” Pac frowns, hands twitching a little as he pulls them away. “Can you help me? With the burns.”
“Of course. What do you need, Pac?”
Something useful to do is better than any other option. Fit is handed potions and ointments and dressings, and told the order to apply them in. While Pac works on Philza’s legs - the more extensive of the burns, with more of them deeper in what can only have been lava - Fit takes one of his arms.
He’s treated burns before, even extensive ones. Not usually with this many things, but he knows what he’s doing.
When the first of the potions is applied, Philza visibly flinches. His eyes, still wide, flicker between both of them, and then to the door - relaxing noticeably when he spies his sleeping children.
“Sorry it stings,” Pac smiles at Philza, and Fit can see how shaky it is.
“It’s fine, mate,” Philza’s voice is a bit drifty, but the surprise of the treatment seems to have drawn him back. All the way to full sentences, too. “Just means I still have feeling.”
… Fit might understand that sentiment, but he’s not exactly thrilled about it.
“Only you, Phil,” and his voice is more affectionate than he means it to be.
Philza turns and glares at him, and Fit swallows a laugh at how ridiculous he looks.
“You have said that before,” Pac points out, though it takes Fit a moment to realise it’s directed at him. “It /is/ true. Still hurts, though.”
Philza adjusts his position slightly, and Fit concludes that it must be the potions actually working that keeps him so present when he was spaced out so badly before. “Don’t worry, I’ve survived worse.”
Fit thinks of his friend knee-deep in lava, without the right protections, miles from home and alone in the Nether, living in a world where a single death means you’re gone forever.
He shudders, and hates it, and it really is not helping his fear.
“You know that’s not actually reassuring, right?” he tries to joke.
He needs to leave this ointment for a little bit. Fit shifts from working on the right arm to the left.
Philza shrugs in reply, but his throat catches. Pac is already bolting up to help and Fit reaching to support his back by the end of the stuttered breath. Philza manages to avoid the coughing fit, though, taking a few deep breaths of the oxygen and settling his lungs.
Once he has, he says whatever he meant to say. He keeps his voice quiet, and the hoarseness is still apparent, but at least Philza manages to avoid the breaking this time. “I do appreciate the help, guys, but I have fallen in lava and been fine before. Didn’t even have bandages then.”
That statement only serves to make the imagined scenarios worse. Fit tries to glare at his friend, only to soften when he sees just how exhausted the man looks.
He can’t win against his friends. He never has been able to.
“I get it,” Pac replies for him, deft fingers now bandaging Philza’s legs. “We didn’t either. But… It will heal better. Faster, cleaner, less infection risk.”
Fit nods along to Pac’s words, and uses the time to gather himself. Philza’s at least chatting, now; it’s easier to suppress the terror.
“Don’t you want us to care about you, Phil?” Fit reaches over with one hand, squeezing his shoulder like he always does when trying to give comfort. The idea of it actually hurts, now he’s vocalising it. “Are you saying you won’t let us worry? Don’t want us to care?”
They see Philza try to reply. This time, the stuttered breaths do turn into a coughing fit. He pulls the mask up to spit out the mucus, but holds it close, still trying to use that air. It doesn’t stop with one cough, or with two; Pac reaches up from his feet, resting Philza’s head against one shoulder as he loops arms around his back. Fit leans down, rubbing circles and hoping they help.
It keeps going and going, and Fit sees his own terror reflected in Pac’s eyes. He’s about to resort to screaming for Cucurucho when the coughs finally cease, Philza’s body weak and trembling from the exertion.
Gently they ease him back into the chair. Fit fixes the mask back into place, while Pac clearly frets about something in his mind.
Even Philza seems to notice that, his eyes shifting to watch Pac.
It breaks the seal.
“How, ah, bird are you?” Pac clearly doesn’t know if that’s a polite thing to ask, and, honestly, Fit has no idea either. He can only shrug in reply to the unspoken question. “I don’t know crows, but…”
Philza takes another moment or two, chest heaving but at a much slower pace than before, “not sure, sorry, I just live like this.”
The reason why Pac asks suddenly clicks - canaries in a coal mine, but all birds are more vulnerable to smoke than humans. Their respiratory systems just being weaker to it.
At least Fit can reassure that one.
“We’ve run through a fire together before,” he says, skimming over the terror of that event too in his mind. “If he took the smoke worse than me, it wasn’t enough to notice.”
Pac may as well collapse in a heap on the floor for all the relief in his eyes - he doesn’t, but it seems a close-born thing. “Still… you really need a hospital.”
It’s muttered, it’s quiet, it’s been said before, but it’s unfortunately very true.
Fit can see the laugh growing on Philza’s face, and also how he struggles to hold it in.
“Welcome to the island, Pac,” Philza manages to say instead. “You read an out of date medical textbook ten years ago, and it makes you about the best we’ve got.”
“It was a biochemistry book,” Pac corrects, and it either explains a lot or nothing at all. “And some websites. I’ve practiced on Mike, though. We both set many things on fire.”
Philza cannot escape an amused snort this time, but it clearly messes with him enough to fuck his breathing once again. Fit keeps an eye on it as he finishes treating his arms, and sees Pac doing the same with his legs.
They drop the topic to work, using each other as a support they might not even really have.
Once the bandages are all in place and Philza seems to be doing better… Well there’s a goat in the room, isn’t there? Because someone set Philza on fire, using lava Fit couldn’t even see.
“Phil…” he isn’t sure how to phrase it but it needs to be said. “I have some idea, but… what did you see?”
“Not a lot,” Philza answers willingly enough, though he twitches as he does. Fit places a hand over the back of his neck, and hopes it’s reassuring. “Kinda like the other two. The bunker was on fire, there was a trail to a book and some items and pictures. Used fire res, but I only had the one… Ran out about when you arrived.”
That gives them a timescale for just how long, at least - fire res offers some smoke protection, so… But then, perhaps he was breathing it in before he awoke or used the potion, too.
“And the book?” he asks, because it’s always the books that seem to scare his friend the most - it was the book Fit couldn’t see he was reading and rereading when he arrived, that probably stopped him leaving before the fire res ran out.
“What do you want me to say?” despite his weak voice, it’s clear Philza is frustrated by the whole thing. “It’s the Blaze Empress, but what does it matter?”
“Is she liable to kidnap you?” Fit asks first, because after the Ender King talk he /needs/ to know if this is another threat or not. “I know you were worried about…”
He glances at Pac, and realises he will actually have to explain that later. Now Pac’s been here and seen this and is kinda involved all over again.
“I don’t know, Fit,” Philza doesn’t seem as scared this time - still terrified, but more burnt out, more exhausted, more likely to give in than run. “In my dreams of her realm… lava is… people. And the quartress has a bee farm. In the /Nether/. It’s not… It can’t be… There’s no sense here.”
Fit and Pac share a look, and Pac agrees to take on the burden of speaking.
“You burnt from the lava,” he hesitantly offers. “I don’t think… you can hallucinate that?”
Yeah, no, Fit’s seen a lot of cases of mind over matter, and none of them result in that sort of happening.
They watch Philza struggle for a time. Pac starts putting the leftover bandages away, constantly glancing back to check on their shared friend. Philza’s lips move, and reassass, grimace and frown and just… don’t seem to know what to do.
The building distress is obvious, though.
Fit’s about to try soothe him again when Philza opens his mouth again. This time, it’s not just weak - they can hear genuine vulnerability, and the first hints of terrified sobs.
“If she’s real, the war is real. She… She can reshape reality, but the Ender King can steal it. /Has/ stolen it,” Philza stops for air, tears trying to streak down his face. “Entire swathes just… gone. In the blink of an eye. He did it to her… the quartress… hangs in a void… I- I can’t- They’re fighting over me now, Fit, they fought over the world and now they’re fighting over me and there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s… There’s not going to be a world /left/, Fit, not if they fight again! If… If they come, if they take me… Don’t try to stop them, don’t come after me - /please/, Just…”
Philza glances at his children. The sobs break his speech, but it’s so obvious what he means.
“Oh Phil…” Pac whispers, barely audible.
“Of course,” Fit promises - at least to looking after Chayanne and Tallulah. He’ll never promise to never try rescue a friend, not if he sees the option.
The sobs continue, and there’s nothing either of them can really do.
“I-” Philza breaks through them to try to talk, turning desperate eyes on Fit. “I’m scared- I- don’t… I-”
Fit lets the air entirely out of his lungs, and leans over to hug his friend. It’s awkward and it’s difficult, but they manage all the same. He hopes its comforting - Philza presses hard against his chest - because it’s all he can do.
Pac scrambles up onto the arm of the chair, then hesitantly leans over. He presses his weight to Philza’s back, and wraps his arms around his front.
Together they hold him as he sobs, hoping it’ll be soothing enough to avoid another coughing fit.
It isn’t.
This one isn’t as bad as the last, but it’s still terrifying. Fit does his best to soothe in tongue clicks, while Pac rubs his back and begs him to breathe.
Sobs bubble harder into the coughs, eventually winning back over.
“You need to calm down,” Fit says - not because crying is terrible, but because it’s causing his friend to choke. “Please, Phil, you need to calm down.”
Philza doesn’t. He keeps crying and crying and crying, shaking and terrified and seeming so small where he’s trying to curl in the chair.
There’s no chance to ask him about it, either; the tears have to end eventually, but they only cease as he drifts off to sleep.
Fit gives him a moment, checking that, and turns to Pac.
“He cried himself out,” he whispers. “Do we need to wake him up?”
Pac hesitates, clearly trying to remember. Eventually he shakes his head, “put him on the bed. We just…keep an eye on him.”
“Alright. Can you get the oxygen?”
It’s easy enough to move him to the bed, far easier than carrying Philza to the pool in the first instance. Pac moves various bits of equipment around them, clearing the path and making sure the tube on the mask doesn’t tug, the last one being to pull down the sheets.
Philza is very definitely asleep by the time he’s laying on them. Pac sets up a little more stuff, pushing fluids into his veins and tracing his heartbeat just in case, but there’s only so much he knows how to do. Roier knows more - did more for Forever - but Roier is missing, and Pac’s knowledge is from scientific testing, not medical.
Once Pac is done fiddling, Fit tucks the blankets around his friend. He’s led to a pair of chairs positioned to watch both Philza and the children, and collapse into them.
“Well, fuck,” Fit says, because he really has no other words for the situation.
“Will he be okay?” Pac replies, glance flittering between Fit, Philza, and the sleeping children.
“You’re the closer to an expert than me.” Fit drapes an arm over his eyes, trying to hide from the very bright lighting.
“The burns were a lot, but didn’t have time to get very bad. His breathing is worrying but it’s, ah, improving. I want to do more, Fit, but I don’t know what to do,” Pac shuffles in his chair. “I am not trained for this. But… I meant… in his brain. Will he be okay in his brain?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it,” Fit frowns. “The shit he sees is definitely real, but it’s not the same real so he’s still going to be left doubting it all. And Philza does /not/ handle doubt.”
“The same real?” Fit peaks out under his arm, and sees confusion writ on Pac’s face.
“Yeah,” he frowns himself. “The lava? I couldn’t see it, even as it was burning him. Hell I was standing on the same floor he tried to walk on. It was a brainfuck - he fell through the floor into the lava, but it was still there.”
“Like BadBoy’s ghost blocks?”
“Not really,” Fit, still not sure what he saw, struggles to explain. “Or, kinda? But like the ghost block could also have lava inside it. The lava and the floorboards were in the same place, just you sink in lava.”
Pac pulls a long series of faces, clearly struggling with the concept. After a bit, he clicks, “more like… hiding cables for storage?”
“Maybe?” Fit doesn’t really know a lot about that. “Whatever it was, it was terrifying. And the beings contacting him? Being powerful enough to do /that/? He asked me not to intervene if he gets kidnapped, but I don’t even know if I could!”
Pac scoots a little closer, leaning over the arm of the chair to rest on Fit’s shoulder. Fit reaches up, entangling a hand into his hair. “You’d try.”
“Damn right I would,” because of course Fit would. They might all be as good as powerless here, their actions having even less meaning than in the Wasteland, but he’s still going to /try. Good friends are hard to come by, and he’s not going to let some extra-dimensional fuckery steal one of his away.
Not if he has a choice, anyway.
“It’s just…” Fuck, Fit has to tell Pac, doesn’t he? “Does the name the Ender King mean anything to you?”
Fit watches Pac think very hard about the question, focus and concentration mixing into one. After a few minutes he looks back at Fit, “like… Enderman? But a king?”
“I guess?” Fit shrugs a bit. “Phil did say he’d have no idea if he were here - there’s no marks of him, but he mostly exists in another realm.”
“No, then,” Pac shakes his head a little. “Just… that. Phil said something?”
“Yeah, few weeks back,” Fit pulls a face. “With the egg shoes? It was when he called me off that day.”
Pac nods, “the shoes were cute.”
“They were,” Fit smiles a bit at the happier memory. “But Phil… Chayanne and Tallulah were with him, and I swear its only that that stopped him having a panic attack. He’d had that other message - the one you were there for? That scared him, but the second one /terrified/ him. Was promising Chayanne and Tallulah he’d always get back to him, to behave if he was kidnapped, laugh-sobbing when Chayanne promised to kill whatever scared him, the works.”
“And it was the Ender King? He mentioned it today, too.”
“Yeah…” Fit trails off, unsure what else to say.
There’s quiet for a moment, before Pac speaks up again, “how did Phil, er, how does Phil know them?”
Fit takes a deep breath, trying both to remember and work it out. “He /says/ it’s from his dreams. He dreams of living in another world, really consistently, really vividly, and these… entities are its rulers. He doesn’t remember all of them, though, it’s still just a dream.“
“Memories, maybe?” Pac asks. “Does he have amnesia too?”
“Maybe?” Fit frowns. “He remembers shit with me well enough, but I don’t remember enough about the rest to compare. Could be the Feds just stole part of them.”
“Which means we all might have all-powerful supervillians after us,” Pac’s eyes are a bit wide.
“And who would even be after you?” Fit laughs, already knowing who is after him.
“I am an international criminal wanted in five countries,” Pac mocks some offence. “Entire governments want me dead!”
They can both only hold it for a moment before descending into giggles. It takes a few moments to recover, their foreheads pressed together.
“The Blaze Empress sounds… fiery,” Pac muses, once he has recovered. “And Endermen hate water. Maybe he should make an underwater safe zone? Just in case.”
“We can suggest it once he’s feeling better,” Fit promises. “Knowing Phil, he’s already got one hidden away somewhere, he just hasn’t thought of it.”
Pac might be the least paranoid of the three of them, but that really is not saying much. Fit can already see the calculations running, and so gently pokes his nose. There’s a jolt of surprise, and a soft smile. “Fit?”
“Thanks for your help,” Fit says, trying his best to be genuine. “Sorry about the night… We can talk more in the morning, and rearrange to another time?”
“Philza is important,” Pac shrugs. “We can adjust.”
“Are you sure?”
“You’ve done the same for Mike,” Pac’s voice is a bit soft.
There’s not much Fit can say to that. Instead he just moves on.
“Do you want to sleep first, or shall I?”
Pac glances at Philza, then the time, “you sleep first? There’s more likely to be problems earlier.”
“Alright,” Fit doesn’t want to leave either of them, but they all need sleep. “Wake me in a few hours, okay?”
Pac nods, and shoos him off.
There’s too much to talk about in the morning - Fit already knows they never will finish the conversation, not even if Philza is stolen from their watch and tormented by gods from another realm.
It’s fine, though, it’ll be fine.
He lays awake, failing to think of a solution, listening to Pac watch low-volume Brazilian romance films until his own dreams steal him away.
78 notes · View notes
mamawasatesttube · 4 months
Text
just thinking out loud here but i feel like a lot of popular perception of kon esp in online fandom spaces is colored by his joie de vivre and all the times he's silly and goofy. which i do of course adore!! i love when he's silly and goofy. but comparing that perception to, that of like, clark or kara, i feel like kon gets shunted into the box of "dumb comic relief character" a lot more easily. lots of factors probably contribute to that (sb94 having a bad rep, while no other kon comic really goes into a lot of his tragedy; conflation with the side of the fandom that doesn't read comics; the fact that comparatively postcrisis kara doesn't have a team the way kon has yj and clark is seen as a more capable adult, so other characters in the jl get the "dumb comic relief" short end of the stick more often; etc) ...
... but what really gets me about him is that he does embody a lot of the same traits as the rest of the kryptonian superfam. he's so extremely kind. he's got that same noble heart as the rest of them; he cares about everyone and he wants to protect everyone. and he's so, so lonely. he struggles between cultures and worlds where he feels like he doesn't belong to either. he is so strong and capable and holds so much power that it scares him.
cradles him gently in my hands. he contains multitudes... come closer don't you want to love him 🥺
76 notes · View notes