#normal and well adjusted today.

[dayurno]

thinking about pre canon andrew meeting kevin who has just lost everything he’s ever had over his abuser who asks please don’t let him take me away who says stop you’re hurting me who still believes if he asks riko will stop andrew will stop anyone will stop and i’m thinking about andrew who wants to crush him who wants to protect him who can’t believe kevin is this fragile who can’t believe he is this naive who can’t go to sleep without checking in on kevin every night but can’t keep from wanting to wring that innocence out of him like water from cloth. anyway

#‘why does andrew call kevin babygirl’ because kevin reminds him of the innocence he once had and lost #because kevin reminds him of being 7 and saying please. Why Else #andrews very conflicted no good feelings about wanting to teach kevin that mercy doesnt exist vs wanting to give him that mercy #normal and well adjusted today. #txt #kandrew #andrew 'im gonna leave youuu im gonna teach you how we're all aloneeee' minyard #kevin 'what makes you so special?' day #ANYWAYS obviously i have thoughts #healthy andrews need to be kept next to kevin at all times but given no direct access to him. on account of his horrors #kandrew is the original corruption couple if you think about it for like 10 seconds

[captains-price]

When nanami said “I’m an adult and you’re a child. I have a duty to prioritize your life over my own” and when nanami said “being a child is not a sin” and when nanami said “you’ve faced life or death situations but that doesn’t make you an adult” and just nanami who gave everything to protect the youth because his was taken from him

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #nanami kento #jjk nanami #having a real normal and well adjusted one today #mine

[lynchiangf]

intro days will have you hanging out with someone who jokes a bit too much about being an alcoholic and a white person who grew up in the global south and thinks that justifies them being racist

#for my part I think I behaved like a normal and well-adjusted person today so slay #I hate being around so many new people all at once though... I have died. badly

[filmcr]

danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys………. save me Save me danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys………

#I AM NORMAL!!!!!!! and WELL-ADJUSTED!!!! #danger days my sweet girl my everything my #thinking extra hard ab her today #wish her happy birthday NEOWWW #danger days #mcr #jay.txt

[loverofallthingssmart]

discarded most of the posts i made bc i felt they were too sad and annoying but then i realized that this is my blog and i can post whatever i want. what a freeing thought.

#anyway work today doesnt seem as bad as i built it up in my brain HELP i think its bc im so depressed and hopeless that reality isnt as bad #as currently being in my brain. #i was psyching myself up to have the WORST time but tbh its pretty chill. AND i have tumblr time which i was too busy for last week and the #week before <3 #i have lots to do after work but i will do all of these things in a normal and well-adjusted manner 😁😁😁👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽 #bc im soooooo normal and well-adjusted and i don't hate myself at ALLLLLLLLL no no no

[dogyuri]

carabiner reveal

#i js got the dog tag today. was going to put good boy on the back but there were other people by the machine. and i'm very well adjusted and #normal.

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

#purrs #delete later #idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every #single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional #needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t #those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t #this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone #but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o #course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and #i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved #mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or #whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a #week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be #writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all #the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality #is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents. #and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments #where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them #comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so #painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i #haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that #kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im #crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i #missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever. #and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read #the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are #closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom #to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess. #also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and #that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk

[todayisafridaynight]

friend airdropped me pictures of sawashiro this morning which reminded me i wanted to ramble bout the fact the vest he wears in 2019 has a snakeskin pattern

#snap chats #firefox crashed and effectively deleted this post but fuck you im typing it again im mentally ill #but yar no as soon as i opened twitter i got a dm from him and it was free sawashiro pics #and then i rtd it and forgot i did so when i saw the post on my tl again some demon posssessed me to impulsively tuck my hair behind my ear #then i laughed aloud to myself at 6AM like a normal and well adjusted individual #even goofier when i was making this post one of my priv besties liked my tweet where i mentioned this so. signs im sawashiroposting today #OK BUT BACK ON TOPIC HI GOOD MORNING #i remember the first time i realized he wore a vest it's when i was making that sawashiro sword drawin #and just thinkin 'wow the fuck' and being cofused on what the pattern was but still thinkin it was cute yeah #well with my latest comic for some reaso i just felt compelled to look up his 2019 suit's textures #and sure i found the alligator pattern like i thought i would but i also found a snakeskin one which had me like ?? #but looking at the color of it and looking at the color of his vest i was like OHHHH IT'S HIS VEST'S TEXTURE #unless me staying up to 3AM had me even more delusional than usual #anyway i already thought the vest was cute in of itself but the fact it's snakeskin.. hehe #it just make me think of arakawa 😔 is that why you got the snakeskin vest jo #you're legally disallowed from hanging out with arakawa and everyone else now cause you gotta tend to your son #travesty. tragedy even. it's a nice vest

[currentlyonstandbi]

the way that it really has been just a series of stressors in life one after another with no respite to the point where i can physically feel myself under tension constantly and feeling like i'm about to genuinely erupt into an episode of hysterics and anger but i can't even do that because the people around me either shouldn't have that inflicted upon them or will respond in a way that just exacerbates the stress so i am left with nowhere to turn the frustration but inwards !!!!!!

#anyway . having a normal monday afternoon #smashed my elbow against the counter last night on purpose and thankfully theres no pain today #👍😎👍 i am soooo well adjusted

[dolokhoded]

simon zealotes you are in my thoughts

#i've been thinking of that guy today. and like . his first days with the rest of the disciples #and him sort of trying to adjust to living in normal circumstances 💀 #well. normal. #not normal but different abnormal circumstances #susanna getting his braids off when he decides he's not going back. i've been thinking abt that a lot. #so far i've only ever drawn him with natural hair but while he was a zealot he had to have it braided. it's a hc i have. #for convenience purposes but also just because well. #non black zealots were definitely normal about him ! #my simon z is mixed. his father was from canaan his mother was ethopian. clearly he wasn't meant to be born mother died at birth father #tried to raise the child as jewish as he possibly could to ignore the existence of the african mother #worked out great for him he became a zealot #anyways. whatever. didn't have any actual connection to his ethiopian heritage until he met susanna #it's a whole moment. simon z is a whole moment #oh and there's also the. stabbing big james that's how i hc they met him sort.of #simon witnesses a miracle and panics. i havent decided which one yet i'll figure it out #he runs away and you cant exactly just leave the zealots so he's hiding out somewhere relatively near jesus' disciples' camp by chance #he spots the camp and mans hungry so once the disciples all go about their business and leave someone to watch over he tries to steal food #to his luck its big james who's stayed behind and he's both impulsive and agressive so when he spots the guy with the knife trying to steal #from them he punches him in the face. #and look. simon feels threatened. he's a trained zealot. he has a knife on him. it's a reflex can you really blame him ??? #anyways he didnt actually mean to stab that guy and he /was/ just stealing their food so idk call it his own conscience call it the power o #jesus he stays and helps him. when jesus gets back he's like 'ah yes a knife guy exactly what's been missing from this team's dynamic' #james is currently bleeding on the floor and he's like nahhh its cool hes funny ! john is panicking and crying. at least two people suggest #they trade matthew for him. matthew hears zealot and starts hyperventilating because he's 88% sure he's going to get murdered in his sleep #(they dont tell simon about matthew's former occupation for like. at least two months more) #it's a vibe !

[challahbread]

i’m actually getting and eating a meal… without even getting stoned first… who killed me and replaced me with a double🤨

#i have been so normal and well adjusted today it’s bizarre

[redskysailor]

good lird

#Day 2 of staying up past 2am reading Articles #I'm in the depths of psychology today now. Some of these authors are so mean spirited with how they frame certain groups of people 😐 #I mean we knew that already. But goodness gracious why on earth are you a mental health professional #if you genuinely believe some people are inherently evil #Researching NPD btw. But normal and more well adjusted this time #freshly squeezed

[jattendschaton]

Difficulties with working remotely they don’t tell you about:

Accidentally ending a phone call with your boss by saying “sounds good, I’ll see you soon!” when you live 250 miles away and absolutely will not see her soon and in your embarrassment you hang up the phone on her mid-sentence

#she doesnt do video calls either so i cant like pretend i was thinking of that or something #see i look at this as a failure in my ability to appear normal and well-adjusted on phone calls #but i also think an interesting option to explore #is how ominous this could have seemed to her #'i'll see you soon' #*phone clicks off* #do you hold the phone to your face for a second too long trying to figure out what i meant by that? #do you look around your office wondering if i'm going to pop up out of nowhere? #bean talks #sorry boss i'm manifesting horror movie monster energy today

[queerbuckleys]

always and forever thinking about maddie listening to ronan

#the girls that get it get it #i’m a very normal well adjusted mentally healthy person #really #(lying) #aj rambles #911 #maddie buckley #i have no filter today i’m sorry

[ven-finn]

Im a changed man I love people who leave somewhat annoying and passive aggressive tags on my art. Like damn okay what if I held you in my hands like a bug and took u on a little adventure to show u the joys of the world. <3

#feeling really normal and well adjusted today

[beware-bittercoffee]

.

#fml #got overstimulated and had a bit of a freak out at supper today so that was fun #also I keep getting told I should lean on people when I need to #but the thing is I’m just being a burden or adding unnecessary shit to other peoples plates #idk #yeah just #trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably need to be a fake person #I don’t want to be fake but I don’t want to dissociate with either #and at present time those are the only ways I can interact with the outside world #at least without accommodations and or support #but like I’m fucking 22 I shouldn’t need that #anyway yeah #I think I’m going to have to be a fake robot person #who pretends to be neurotypical and does everything they can to not let their trauma responses out when shit happens #you know #like a normal well adjusted human does