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the-cookie-of-doom · 5 months

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Prompt: Chay watching size queen!Kim wreck himself on a big dick (this one is for @snickerdoodlles)

Kim is beautiful. Chay has always thought so, ever since he first discovered Wik making covers on youtube. And really, there’s no time he isn’t absolutely gorgeous, even when he’s coming back disheveled from a fight, or waking up in the morning, delightfully sleep-rumbled.

And in Chay’s opinion, Kim is the most beautiful when he’s like this, being slowly, carefully taken apart. Preferably at Chay’s hands, but it’s just as good when he’s doing it to himself, too. Chay loves to watch Kim make himself feel good. Loves that Kim will allow himself to feel good.

“You’re amazing, P’Kim,” Chay breathes, tracking a bead of sweat as it drips down the column of Kim’s throat to pull in the hollow of his collar bones. His entire body is glistening with little salty gems, making him glow in the evening light.

Beautiful.

This was supposed to be a challenge. Chay gave up twenty minutes ago and Kim is still going, somehow.

Experience over enthusiasm, Kim had told him, as he slid down onto a dildo that Chay could feel in his throat. They had matching pairs, competing to see who could take the largest. Chay made it halfway down this one, his thighs shaking, his hole spasming around the girth as he tried to take it all. Meanwhile Kim watched him with a lazy grin as he ground down onto the thing, taking it easily. Chay managed to push himself down another inch, his breath catching in his throat, before he had to haul himself off with a miserable, “I can’t.”

“It’s alright, love,” Kim told him, drawing Chay into a sweet kiss. He nuzzled Chay’s cheek and murmured, “You can just watch.”

And now, three sizes up from where Chay had failed, he thinks that losing this match isn’t so bad after all, because Kim is wrecking himself for Chay’s pleasure, and Chay has nothing to distract him from the sheer beauty of it.

“Like what you see?” Kim asks. He’s panting now. Exhausted, trembling, yet still he rides that monstrous dildo with long, languid thrusts, rolling his hips to the rhythm of whatever slow song is playing now.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, P’Kim, I like it. I like watching you.” Chay always has, ever since he was fifteen years old and first discovered Wik, and had a lovely sexual-awakening that led him to this very moment, all these years later. He thanked YouTube’s generated recommendations every day. “Can I touch you yet?”

“No.” Kim closes his eyes, grinding down onto silicone, flexing his hands against the floor. Chay knows if he touches Kim now, he’ll come. He’s been at this too long—almost an hour, not—not to.

Kim certainly deserves it, a nice reward for his show, but if he’s not ready to stop… well, who is Chay to make him?

“Okay,” he agrees.

Kim pushes himself fully to his knees, the dildo sliding out of him with a wet sound. He exhales raggedly, looks up at Chay through his lashes. Chay is already handing him the next one, nice and slick and thick as his wrist. Chay;s own abused hole clenches around nothing as his fingers wrap around it.

“Thank you,” Kim says, polite, like Chay only handed him a glass of water.

“Can you take all of it?”

“Mhmm. Easily.”

A long time ago, Kim promised he would never lie to Chay again. Watching Kim now, the way his thighs tremble as he positions himself above the toy, the way his breath hitches as he forces himself down onto it, Chay decides it doesn’t count as a lie if Kim believes it to be true.

There’s certainly nothing easy about this. Chay deliberately skipped the next side up, just to watch Kim struggle. He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up without touching his lover, so he’s rushing things a little bit. The way Kim’s body shakes is gratifying, too. The flush on his face that spreads down his chest, the hard, tense line of his body as every muscle pulls taught. Chay knows better than to second-guess Kim by now; he’ll be able to take it all. But no, it won’t be easy.

“Fuck,” Kim groans as he slowly sinks down, inch by inch. He has to stop half way. Chay knows it must be agonizing; gravity working against him, demanding he take a position with better leverage, or else succumb to the heavy pull downwards. It’ll hurt if he just drops his weight onto the thing, forcing it the rest of the way before his body is ready. But his body hurts anyway as the strain gets to him, the tremble in his legs becoming more pronounced.

Chay begins to doubt Kim can do this after all. Reaches out for him when Kim pushes back up on his knees, takes him by the hips to support him, and Kim opens his eyes to smile at Chay. They’re hazy and fever bright.

“I’m okay,” he says. He shuffles around, sits himself more upright instead of leaning back on his hands, places them on Chay’s shoulders instead. “Help me?”

Really, how could Chay refuse such a sweet request?

“Okay. Okay, P’Kim. Ready?”

“Yes.” It becomes a hiss as Kim lowers himself back down. He spreads his legs more, gasping shallow little breaths as he’s split open on the dildo, and then he meets that resistance again, and Chay pushes—Kim cries out, a strangled falsetto as he sinks down further, and then he collapses into Chay’s chest.

“Kim?” Chay asks softly. His lover is boneless and shaking in his arms, his panting breaths leaving moisture on Chay’s collar beneath his mouth. “Kim, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. Yes. Fine. Fuck.”

“Too much?” Kim shakes his head and clings onto Chay. Chay laughs, feeling Kim shimmy his hips against the toy, and pets his damp hair. “Okay, P’Kim, whatever you say.”

Eventually, after Kim catches his breath, he says, “I can’t move.”

Help me. The request is clear, and doesn’t bear repeating.

Chay takes Kim by his slender hips again and lifts him up, pressing in close so they’re chest to chest and he can use his legs instead of his arms, like he’s fucking himself, too, lifting both of them.

Chay peppers Kim with kisses, pressing them against his jaw and neck. He feels Kim reach between them to stroke his cock, moaning and whimpering. He’s so overstimulated from how long he’s been edging himself. The wet sounds of the dildo in his sopping hole are filthy.

“I can’t, I can’t,” Kim cries, and collapses again, driving the dildo as deep as it can go. When Chay pulls back he can see Kim blinking back tears. “It’s too much.”

“That’s okay, P’Kim. Come on, I’ll help you come.” He kisses away the tears on his cheeks and squeezes Kim’s hips, guiding him up and off of the dildo for a final time, and lays Kim gently on the towel-covered floor to recover. He can’t help himself, and reaches down to brush his fingers against Kim’s swollen rim, delighting in the way it clenches around nothing, to used to fully close again. “Oh, P’Kim,” he murmurs. He pushes two fingers inside just the feel the way he spasms around them.

“Chay.”

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of you.” Chay withdraws his fingers. He wraps them around Kim’s cock instead, loving the way it throbs in his hand, hot and heavy. If Chay wasn’t already so wrecked and sore himself, he would mount Kim himself to feel it inside him, but he can’t. So he brings Kim to orgasm with his hand instead, tight, firm pulls that make him shake and moan until he spills onto his belly.

Send me horny prompts!

#cookie writes #kimchay #keep i mind the prompts should be Kim or Chay centered #or both!#kimchay prompts are obvs acceptable bc I'm obsessed with them #I just need to practice my smut lol #also any monsterfucker asks would be greatly appreciated #no one's sent any yet and I'm disappointed in all of you 👀#there isn't enough kimchay monsterfucking in this fandom

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ride-a-dromedary · 5 months

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Halsin desperately wanting children vs Minthara's cut pregnancy storyline face off in the square, but they violently start making out instead.

#FOR THE RECORD this is a joke...but also *eyes emoji*#BG3 Musing #halsin/minthara has very big you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look/act stupid energy #and then they proceed to do so #fantastic racism vs fantastic prejudice due to past experience and cultural influence face off and make a baby maybe if u wanna idk #maybe we could learn to see the best and accept the less than best in each other and grow and develop as people if you wanna idk #*could* this have been good? it absolutely could have been in the right writer's hands #'but x party said/did -' i do not listen to larian's rules nor whatever they have added here #nor - like i said - did i ever trust them to implement this properly or well and they did not disappoint #any ultimatum they have shoehorned in is not canon to me #if you can recruit minty on a good playthrough now for whatever excuse you should be able to recruit the both of them i don't make the rule #otherwise there is no point - keep her in the evil playthroughs #if i had a nickel every time a elf companion was implied to want or have a babies ever after ending (even in cut content)#i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot BUT WEIRD THAT-

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wonder-worker · 5 months

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Any judgement on (Richard III)’s reign has to be seen as provisional. The critic of the reign only has to consider how the Tudors would now be regarded if Henry VII lost at Stoke, to realize the dangers of too many assumptions about the intractability of Richard’s problems. But it would be equally unrealistic to ignore Richard’s unpopularity altogether. The fact that he generated opposition among men with little material reason for dissent, and that the disaffection then continued to spread among his own associates, says something about what contemporaries regarded as the acceptable parameters of political behaviour. There is no doubt that Richard’s deposition of his nephews was profoundly shocking. To anyone who did not accept the pre-contract story, which was probably the majority of observers, the usurpation was an act of disloyalty. Gloucester, both as uncle and protector, was bound to uphold his nephew’s interests and his failure to do so was dishonourable. Of all medieval depositions, it was the only one which, with whatever justification, could most easily be seen as an act of naked self-aggrandizement.

It was also the first pre-emptive deposition in English history. This raised enormous problems. Deposition was always a last resort, even when it could be justified by the manifest failings of a corrupt or ineffective regime. How could one sanction its use as a first resort, to remove a king who had not only not done anything wrong but had not yet done anything at all?

-Rosemary Horrox, "Richard III: A Study of Service"

#r*chard iii #my post #english history #Imo this is what really stands out to me the most about Richard's usurpation #By all accounts and precedents he really shouldn't have had a problem establishing himself as King #He was the de-facto King from the beginning (the king he usurped was done away with and in any case hadn't even ruled);#He was already well-known and respected in the Yorkist establishment (ie: he wasn't an 'outsider' or 'rival' or from another family branch)#and there was no question of 'ins VS outs' in the beginning of his reign because he initially offered to preserve the offices and positions #for almost all his brother's servants and councilors - merely with himself as their King instead #Richard himself doesn't seem to have actually expected any opposition to his rule and he was probably right in this expectation #Generally speaking the nobility and gentry were prepared to accept the de-facto king out of pragmatism and stability if nothing else #You see it pretty clearly in Henry VII's reign and Edward IV's reign (especially his second reign once the king he usurped was finally #done away with and he finally became the de-facto king in his own right)#I'm sure there were people who disliked both Edward and Henry for usurpations but that hardly matters -#their acceptance was pragmatic not personal #That's what makes the level of opposition to Richard so striking and startling #It came from the very people who should have by all accounts accepted his rule however resigned or hateful that acceptance was #But they instead turned decisively against him and were so opposed to his rule that they were prepared to support an exiled and obscure*#Lancastrian claimant who could offer them no manifest advantage rather than give up opposition when they believed the Princes were dead #It's like Horrox says -#The real question isn't why Richard lost at Bosworth; its why Richard had to face an army at all - an army that was *Yorkist* in motivation #He divided his own dynasty and that is THE defining aspect of his usurpation and his reign. Discussions on him are worthless without it #It really puts a question on what would have happened had he won Bosworth. I think he had a decent chance of success but at the same time #Pretenders would've turned up and they would have been far more dangerous with far more internal support than they had been for Henry #Again - this is what makes his usurpation so fascinating to me. I genuinely do find him interesting as a historical figure in some ways #But his fans instead fixate on a fictional version of him they've constructed in their heads instead #(*obscure from a practical perspective not a dynastic one)#queue

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fromtheseventhhell · 3 months

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Traditional femininity is to misogyny as colorism is to racism

#or traditional femininity : misogyny :: colorism : racism #y'all remember your analogy formats from grade school? 😂#and yes I will eventually be expanding on this but basically #being traditionally feminine is a more acceptable/palatable way of being a woman and treated as something all women should aspire to #it doesn't protect women from misogyny but it does offer them some form of privilege considering that #femininity is very much a factor of both class and race #upper-class white women are inherently seen as more feminine than lower-class women of color regardless of how they act #which makes sense considering traditional femininity is a byproduct of white supremacy and the patriarchy #it's literally a tool used for control but sure let's shame women for not conforming to it #note that femininity isn't actually an area of oppression like lighter skin isn't one it's just misogyny and racism respectively #the more you move away from the acceptable way of being the more oppression you're going to face #not a 1:1 obviously but for simplicity's sake I'm making the comparison between the two

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commsroom · 1 year

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you know, wolf 359 is not really meant to be analyzed from a worldbuilding perspective, but, from a character perspective, one of the more interesting things about its alternate timeline is that line where hilbert says to minkowski,"there's something about a peacetime army that attracts people who want to know what it is like to kill someone but do not have the nerve to find out." the implication that minkowski, a career military woman in her 30s, joined the united states air force during peacetime and presumably has never faced real threat of active combat. it doesn't absolve her or any of the other characters with military history, but it is an interesting mitigating factor, and i think... while eiffel is absolutely not cut out to be a military man for a myriad of reasons, and while i think his history with the air force only really makes sense if you consider he joined because he didn't go to college and didn't have a whole lot of other options... it does make a little more sense he would consider it morally permissible with a history of and reasonably expected future of peacetime.

#wolf 359 #w359 #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #like it's one of those things where. reasonably a lot of the changes in wolf 359's timeline should drastically alter #the state of the world. and they don't. for the social commentary to work. and the pop culture to work. so you kinda have to #accept that both of those things are true at once. that it's an explanation for some things but only within that specific relevant context.#as a character drama it really only matters as much as it affects the characters. but there is something interesting about #a cast of mostly ex-military characters who don't have... what we would consider. military experience or expectations.#none of them are jaded. including lovelace. it was goddard that did that to her not her time in the air force.#not sure what to say beyond that except that it's fascinating eiffel is former air force #when in another world in another time he could've been the world's most perfect draft dodger. robbed of his destiny.

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grinchwrapsupreme · 2 months

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being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go

#truly alarming amount of tags on this post don't click read more fr #the venture bros #pete white #bily quizboy #billy whalen #idk man the way they balance each other is really interesting #the things they agree on and disagree on are almost arbitrary #'you can't put mouthwash in a cookie' 'trust me' vs 'we should spend 10 mil on a motorcycle instead of housing' 'that's such a cool idea'#billy trying to pep white up about the ball #'this was your dream too' like come on dude when have pete's dreams ever worked out #when have yours #'what are we gonna do now billy?' 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'#baby the bridge has never been more present #ALSO white calling billy the dreamer when HE'S the one who pushes so hard for things #billy has dreams that might not be realistic but they give him hope and he works around the way the world works to make things happen #like being a self-taught surgeon and believing in a magic ball #pete has dreams IN SPITE of what is realistic and he will mold reality to be what he wants in order to make it happen #like fixing the quizshow and pretty much everything that happened in invisible hand of fate #and they both have disabilities that affect them in vastly different ways and impact their relationship with realistic goals #like billy's hydrocephalus being presented to the audience as mostly a social issue for him and the hand and eye being marks of trauma #rather than like an actual block for him beyond needing to tune the hand up every now and then #vs white's albinism making him physically unable to be in direct sunlight and making him actively fearful of doing certain things and #being certain places #to be clear i know the actual effects of hydrocephalus as well as the hand and eye but this is based on how the show presents it #like billy took these things about himself into account and went ok these are part of my reality and i will work with them #and pete took his reality and went ok i will cover it up with fake tan and wigs or sunscreen and hats and make reality what i want it to be #and that's what makes them a good team!! that's why they science together well #it's also why they argue so much #accepting reality and playing within its constraints vs hating reality and changing it to suit you #these are the hallmarks of scientific progress

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radioactive-mouse · 2 months

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god. one of these days i’ll write up a post abt martyn and grian and then it’s OVER for y’all

#not something i’m gonna maintag but while i’m here #i’m gonna be a hater for a second #it always makes me fucking grit my teeth and try not to scream whenever people are like #OOOUOUUOOHHH THE NARRATIVE FOILS #because. because ok.#YES. you are RIGHT. but oh my god the analysis does not STOP THERE.#i also just hate when people are like #foils are when characters are opposite. we should arbitrarily create a dichotomy in their actions that makes no goddamn sense #i once saw someone be like THE FOIILLSSS they’re both doomed by the narrative but grian accepts it and martyn fights it at every opportunity #which by the way. NOT WHAT DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE MEANS.#but also ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND sorry #you’re telling me martyn Watchers Specialest Little Champion littlewood is defying the narrative? fr?#also sorry. when has grian been passively accepting of anything ever #i just. i just…. ugghghghh……..#i need to grip them in my big evil fists #i’m crazy abt them but in a different weird way #mouse.txt

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gailynovelry · 3 months

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A while ago, we saw someone explain why they don’t like first person. Aside from “it’s shallow” (which feels like a shallow critique itself without more context), they cited a desire to understand what all the other characters in a scene are thinking and feeling, and I found that very interesting.

Because I don’t feel like every story benefits from knowing every character involved in it to such an intimate degree.

A lot of interesting speculation can be derived from gaps in the narrative. Why did he do that? What was her real motive there? The protagonist can speculate, but are they really the most objective source for that, or are you assuming that they are because they’re in the narrator seat, and they haven’t explicitly called themself unreliable?

First person creates a very specific opportunity to convey characters outside of the protagonist via showing and not telling.

It also creates a great opportunity to put your reader in a mental maze (the central narrator’s perspective) and give them a fun crumb trail out of it (the way that other characters react to the narrator).

I personally think that first person really shines under the right circumstances; and I think one of the best circumstances is when the central narrator has some horrendously skewed worldview. When they’re a fucked up little guy. When they think they know what’s up and they really, really don’t.

And when there’s other characters just as fun outside of them to force the reader to fill in the blank spaces for themselves.

Anyway, sometimes I feel like the push against first person is motivated by people being burned by boring, one-dimensional first person narrators and/or a distaste for common YA conventions. At other times, I feel like it’s motivated by the very bland desire to have the author shine a flashlight into every nook, cranny, and crevice of the narrative so that you don’t miss out on anything. I understand the desire to know more, but it's also fun to be able pick up the flashlight yourself as a reader!

No style of narration is inherently lesser than another. They just suit different readers and author's tastes.

#writeblr #first person #writing #writing advice #this was queued to put distance between us having this thought and us putting it out #anyway this is why we write first person narration for Nathaniel and Velvet #they’re both fascinating and you’re supposed to be dissecting their thought process while you’re immersed in it!#their perspective is the cage we’ve dropped the narrative in #and the way that OTHER characters REACT to them from the outside will help tell you what is actually going on!!#Nathaniel is a nervous wreck and can be easily convinced that he is more or less competent and/or smooth than he actually is #while Velvet is extremely traumatized and has internalized that trauma into a blithe normalcy and passively fucked-up sense of humor #the way that other people react to Velvet opening his big mouth should say way more than #any perspective switch where we cut to a Not Velvet character internally explaining “Velvet is fucked up guys don’t emulate Velvet”#anyway third person is beautiful. we love third person.#but books would be less rich if that was the only acceptable perspective to use

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wereh0gz · 6 months

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I'm definitely not the only queer person who's kinda wary of Christian ppl they encounter online right?

Like I see a profile that clearly states they're Christian and they post like Bible verses and shit and I'm just. Hoping they're not queerphobic. Or saying some dumbass shit like "hate the sin love the sinner" or whatever while pretending that's not queerphobic

If they're interacting with me first it's pretty safe to assume they're not gonna be like that bc I'm very obviously queer (🏳️‍🌈 + pronouns in bio) but if it's someone who hasn't interacted with me at all I kind of instinctively avoid interacting with them out of fear of them being that way. Y'know

#ramblings #i think it's bc even tho i've never been religious and my family isn't like a super uptight christian family #i have encountered a preacher who was homophobic and transphobic before #he's puerto rican too which just makes me disappointed in my people tbh #i grew up surrounded by a lot of accepting ppl both within and outside of the family #as well as a couple gay/trans ppl #i was always taught that that's just the way some ppl are and that we should respect that #even if we didn't fully understand everything and weren't up to date with the latest most accepted terminology and stuff #ppl were just respectful and let others be themselves #so it's extremely hard for me to understand why other ppl would be queerphobic #i mean. i kinda get it. it what they were taught growing up. just how i was taught to be accepting and respectful #but why ppl would continue to teach that to their kids and perpetuate queerphobia is really what i don't get #like. accepting that ppl different from you exist and that's ok isn't going to kill you #maybe learn abt the world from other sources besides the bible and try to see different perspectives #instead of shutting yourself off to just one way of thinking and hurting ppl in the process #anyways. i think it's also bc i've seen too many really religious ppl on the internet who are also queerphobic #and they have these big platforms of ppl who support them and share their views #and like. i shouldn't generalize. but they paint an ugly image of christians in general #also like. christians throughout history don't have the cleanest track record #but i know a lot of christians nowadays aren't like that. in fact i'm willing to say most aren't #but still it's like. better be safe than sorry y'know #idk man

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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I don't understand why it's generally not socially acceptable to recognize your good qualities. Like I don't understand why it's bad to be a show-off or a know-it-all or to brag. Like I think most people know "those things = bad" but not why.

It also seems like people are always either waaaaay into one end of the scale where they are just so unbearably full of themselves and have preposterously high self esteem (and most people act like this is fine too? Like a lot of celebrities and white men specifically seem to be like this) and I don't understand why so many people respect them then. Or they're the complete opposite with self esteem way too low despite the fact that they have redeeming qualities.

I feel like maybe the reason it's considered bad to brag is because you might 'make' other people feel inadequate but see that seems like a stupid reason to me because the problem then is not that you stated an opinion of your own self worth but is actually that everyone else is conditioned to compare themselves to each other in a very unhealthy way. And I think instead of discouraging people from opening up about what they take pride in, what they like about themselves, what makes them feel happy or content or confident, maybe we could just be discouraging people from viewing those things as personal threats? Idk just trying to formulate some thoughts on this

#idk why but this feels like a very convoluted topic #like so many people are probably coming from different starting positions on this than i am and im afraid that might #make it be misinterpreted or something #like i feel like there definitely is a balance where some self esteem is too little and some is too much #it just feels like it is exceedingly rare to find anyone with ideal realistic self esteem and idk why #i also dont mean this in a way to say that every action is the responsibility of the people taking offense either #because obviously thats not how that works. its understandable to demand a certain amount of respect #and to accept that your words (even the ones you say about yourself) could negatively impact other people #and thats not necessarily on them for being defensive #idk social concepts are strange and foreign to me so im still figuring this stuff out and through an autistic lense to boot #so sometimes i feel a bit like im conducting a study or an experiment more than writing a blog post #im just trying to understand people because i need to #it seems like the overwhelming majority of allistics have absolutely no interest in why they do the things that they do #so i have to go around experimenting instead of asking direct questions about this stuff #because when i do ask direct questions they look at me like i just asked them if the sky is actually blue or if its just gasses up there #in case you are not the most common dimwit. the sky is both of those things. however when you ask someone a question #phrased like that about a topic they dont want to admit they dont know about. they will usually avoid the question or answer absurdly #its actually kinda funny you should try it sometime #now im distracted because i dont know enough about how the sky works and i need to know #anyways gonna go down a research rabbit hole methinks

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stag-bi · 1 year

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what a whiplash going to see my 2016 tumblr dash (as linked in that last post) and getting slapped in the face w full blown ace discourse 😭😭😭

#i was an exclusionist too lmao i was so pissed as if hordes of cishet aces were coming to Invade Our Spaces?????? CRINGE #i still have beef w the split attraction model when non-aspec ppl use it ON BI SUBREDDITS CONSTANTLY TO DISCOURAGE ANY SELF-REFLECTION #like telling newly out bi's their internalized homo/biphobia is just an inborn trait that cant be helped so dont bother looking into it :)#thats more of a personal pet peeve than anything though #honestly the whole discourse was so stupid and the fake stories and moral panic coming from it was ridiculous #u kno whats real and can be trusted? peoples own experiences and interpretations of themselves. and that needs to be respected and accepted #i got so fed up w the dehumanizing and circlejerky nature of the exclusionist side. not to mention the victimhood complexes and the #black and white thinking that were being normalized by the entire discourse. and the essentialist thinking and public shaming #identities are not inherently above examination and there needs to be a balance between inclusion and exclusion in any context #bc both have negative and positive sides when applied to any group or identity. it should be approached w common sense #i wanna veer away from any generalizations and approach things on a case by case basis #but when it comes to someones personal identity and their lived experience. thats none of my business whatsoever #no matter what. basic respect is believing ppl when they say who they are. thats the bare minimum of interpersonal acceptance #fighting against that in order to uphold some us vs them dynamic is straight up awful #if you cant respect someone bc you cant personally understand their experience youre stuck on the wrong thing #you shouldnt need to relate to someone in order to treat them w kindness and empathy #if you need to find someone relatable to accept their validity then youre not genuinely someone accepting of differences

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selvepnea · 5 months

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Been thinking about my body a lot

#Sel talks #Listened through Fat Talk by Virginia Sole-Smith which talked a lot about how bodies are tools #And the way she talked about how thin-ness shouldn't be something we strive for #And I can't help but draw parallels between my own desire to go on t? I don't know. Been having too many thoughts stewing #I keep coming back to isabeau's line of “maybe it was easier to change into someone I could love than to learn how to love how I was”#And I had drawn both hrt and diet culture back into this; but. Neither of them are from self love?#It's. Idk; a friction? On how you perceive yourself and how the world perceives you?#Or. Idk idk. It's hard to articulate now that I'm trying to get it down #If I remember right; one of the messages of fat talk was how bodies should be for function first and foremost; and should hardly-if ever-#Considered for aesthetic. And yes- trying to loose weight is one of the most damaging aesthetic changes you can do-#Idk! I feel like I'm looking too far into it #Something something you're not happy with how your body looks/is perceived so you want to change it #Whether that's influenced by society; loved ones; or something biological; it's still a desire to change your body #Although one is vastly more accepted than the other #Trying to become thin is trying to make yourself more comfortable in a vastly fatphobic world; to placate the people think they have say #Over your body; make yourself more palettable to the world around you.#Which I guess is an important distinction #Becoming the person you want to be even through everyone telling you that it's wrong or disgusting #But a part of me can't help but think a part of the reason I want to do hrt might have something to do with our male centric society?#I'm too tired to elaborate any further but I feel less busy now that I have it out

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the-busy-ghost · 1 year

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British publishers seem to have a strange habit of classifying nineteenth century French novels as children’s books (a nebulous category I know- children are often more than capable of reading so-called ‘adult’ books but I find it odd nonetheless).

Jules Verne is the first one that springs to mind, but the one that always confuses me is ‘The Three Musketeers’. Yes it’s got all the swashbuckling ingredients that make up a good boys’ own story, but I’m really not sure that it’s strictly a ‘children’s’ classic.

This brought to you by the fact that I’m trying to sort all my other Dumas books into order when I realised that the ‘Three Musketeers’ wasn’t among them, even though it’s part of a wider ‘series’, the other books of which are in my ‘adult’ books. But because my copy of ‘The Three Musketeers’ was part of a set of ‘children’s classics’, it’s languishing in a box somewhere, alongside The Railway Children and the Secret Garden (great books both, but very different in tone I think). I don’t want to break that set up but I also don’t see why the story of Milady de Winter is more child appropriate than the Count of Monte Cristo.

#I should go back and reread Musketeers but even as a 9 year old I knew something stank about the treatment of Milady #And if it had been wrapped up as an adult book I would have been able to engage with the story and analyse it with the complexity it deserve #But the fact it's packaged up like a book for little children left me confused instead of intrigued as a kid #You could make the argument that any swashbuckling adventure story is for kids but I'm a Scot and I have to repudiate that strongly #Otherwise Scott and Stevenson- though not inappropriate for children either- would be left out in the cold #Why is it acceptable to do that to the French #To be fair Ivanhoe sometimes gets treated like a kids' book #Interestingly Waverley almost never is but that might just be because it's less popular nowadays #Kidnapped and Ivanhoe are both appropriate for kids in my opinion and so are most adventure stories don't get me wrong #Kids are pretty bright and ok so sometimes they're not ready for certain things but that's really up to them as readers #But if there was ever an adventure story that might have been more aimed at adult readers #I have to feel that it's the Three Musketeers #It's definitely a pattern with French translations in particular I think #Though some of the racism in the Lost World (also part of the children's classics set) also seems rather dubious #I don't know much about literature by the way it's not really my speciality so there may be reasoning #And I know that the concept of 'children's books' is a really vague and silly one #I just think it's odd that certain work by French authors tend to get lumped together under that label

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thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls · 3 months

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Mmmm yes it is an appropriate time to lore dump I think [<- 1am] SO, I've been kerfuffling about with the star siblings for a while and wondering what kinda story I want to primarily focus on and I realised I was getting wayyy too tied up in having this huge story so I thought about what kinda story I actually /enjoy/ yaknow??

And me I'm a huge sucker of like, smalltown stories about found family and monsters, ergo I introduce the star siblings canon:

The story takes place on earth, our earth, with one tiny tiny difference, monsters are real! Not everyone knows this of course and they very much exist in the state they do here were most ppl believe them fictional, the siblings know better of course. They live in the middle of the woods with their dad who revealed to them the existence of monsters when they were old enough [did not tell them they r the spawn of the queen of monsters tho dw about that 👌] more specifically after Poppy was attacked by a werewolf Harley sat them down and was like "Yeah no that wasn't a weird big wolf that was a monster lol"

He is definitely a sympathiser of monsters [wonder why] and conducts scientific research on them to try and make their lives better. Out of spite towards her dad and also anger towards them Poppy when she became a teenager decided to hunt down local monsters! [String of murders in the local village may push you to that] and Leo joined her because that is his sister and they do this together until things and stuff!

This is also great because I have a trio of ocs who have needed a home who would slot SO perfectly in here

Sorry this is so lonh aaajjjjjhhh

HOLY SHIT STARSIBLINGS LORE YIPEEEE!!! SORRY MY PHONE DIED AND I LOST MY CHARGER SO I JUST SAW THIS- you best be sleeping you need sleeeep lockeeee

Harley beloved <3333 I’m pointing at him like ‘I know what you are- *sympathiser of monsters* i know what you areeeee’/j ahdhdjhe

THEIR MUM IS THE QUEEN OF MONSTERS??? WHATTT/POS HOLY SHIT WOAH

SIBLING MONSTER FIGHTING DUO!!! YAHOOO also trio of new ocs ohh???

WAIT POPPY HATES/DISLIKES HER DAD OH NO

#LOCKE NEVER APOLOGISE FOR A LONG OC RANT #i live of them/j sjdhdhehehhee #so so also i can imagine a scene where some monster is like ‘hold on a sec you kids aren’t all human’ or like yeahhh #i feel like Poppy would be in heavy heavy denial if she knew and Leo would accept it but feel uncomfortable obviously #ALSO my oc story (cryptid hunters) also has monsters and stuff thehehehe our ocs should hold hands/hj whhshd #i need to draw leo and ryan standing there hand shaking since they’re both transmasc and part monster arhhdhd #ask #hi locke!!#StarSiblings #others ocs

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adastra121 · 11 months

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Touchstarved OC Relationship Charts

I made the relationship charts for my Touchstarved OCs!

More about their relationships with the Touchstarved LIs below!

Person who made these templates is @deiimi

Jin the Abandoned Alchemist

“Friendship is...a new venture for me. But I promise, I'll do my best!”

Likes Kuras — “You take care of everyone, but who takes care of you, doctor?” Admires Kuras for his skills as a doctor and his selflessness. Finds his presence very soothing, which is great because he is a ball of constant anxiety.

Jin and Kuras have a lot of similarities in some ways. They are both naturally curious, they both seek to help others, they are both introverted, and they are both avid readers.

Oh, and they’re both INFJs and earth signs.

Kuras seems like the kind of person Jin would like to read next to. He wonders what sort of books Kuras likes. Perhaps he would have some recommendations.

Conversation is never boring with Kuras. Jin loves to discuss alchemy, theories, and experiments that he’s pondered attempting with him.

Jin insists on helping Kuras around his clinic where he can, since he believes he owes the latter a life debt now.

He stops by to gift Kuras something every now and then, like some food or tea, because have you ever seen the doctor eat or, gods forbid, cook anything? He worries for Kuras sometimes, even though Kuras would say there’s nothing to concern himself over.

Close with Leander — “Something about you makes me want to be more than I am — and yet, whenever I’m with you, I feel like…I’m enough.” Jin’s never met anyone so friendly, generous, and brave. Leander makes him want to be brave, too.

He wholeheartedly believes Leander is a good person. A mage of that kind of power and he uses it to help people for free. He lives in Lowtown. He’s given a home to the Bloodhounds.

Leander strikes him as a kind, dazzling, and genuinely good person.

And more puzzlingly, he’s fearless. Offered to let Jin — a complete stranger — inflict his curse on him, even tie him up so Jin could feel safer.

Try as he might, Jin just can’t understand why Leander is so kind to him. His whole life, he’s never been enough just as he is. His curse — his existence — is a blight he’s always had to seek atonement for. Not even the mage who basically raised him thought otherwise.

So for someone so bright and fearless and good to offer everything he yearns for like he’s actually worthy of it…that feeling is addictive. Almost more addictive than the feeling of warm, trusting flesh and blood under his fingers.

He can’t let Leander down. It has to be different this time.

Dislikes Vere — “I never know what to expect with you. I’m still working out whether that’s good or bad.” Everything about Vere startles Jin. Not just because he’s a killer, but because of his shamelessness and Jin flusters easily.

Vere is a bit unpredictable to Jin and that makes him nervous.

Vere’s constant games and teasing will probably take some getting used to. As well as the flirting and the innuendoes.

Doesn’t know whether to take Vere seriously a lot of the time.

Most honest person you’ll ever meet if you don’t listen to a damn word he says. Jin’s starting to learn what that means.

It will take a while for Jin to warm up to Vere.

Likes/Dislikes Ais — “You are everything I have been warned against and you seem to have made it your life’s mission to piss me off at every turn! So why do I trust you?” Despite not knowing each other very long, Ais has somehow managed to push every one of Jin’s buttons. But he’s also honest, and that’s something Jin respects.

Ais challenges Jin in ways he isn’t used to, and he finds that both frustrating and frustratingly enlightening.

Ais is intriguing to Jin, unlike anyone he’s met before. His cool, relaxed, and honest demeanor — his entire character is so different from Jin, who is anxious, cautious, and constantly worried about not being a burden, not making his existence harder for others to deal with.

Jin has a bad habit of lying to himself — sometimes he doesn’t even realize it — so whether subconsciously or not, he finds Ais’s honesty refreshing and…safe. Jin feels oddly safe around him.

Ais feels like the eye of a storm. A moment of clarity in the midst of desolation.

In some ways, Jin finds the most freedom in Ais. He allows himself to get upset, to make demands, to say aloud the sarcastic comments often kept in his head. He allows himself to take up space in a way that he usually doesn’t and it terrifies him, because what if he likes it too much? What if he can’t go back to the way he used to be?

Likes Mhin — “Ah, are you busy? Sorry, I’ll try not to get in your way!” Mhin seems very reliable to Jin, but also very focused on their goal. Jin doesn’t want to bother them.

To Jin, they feel like a startled animal in an unfamiliar place. He’s very cautious around them, tries not to upset them.

Jin would leave Mhin alone for the most part, wait for them to approach him.

They’d probably end up with each other in a rowdy tavern, Mhin being a loner and Jin being a bit of a wallflower.

If they end up conversing, I think they’d bond over their interest in alchemical experiments.

Alon the Stray Hound

Likes Kuras — “I like you, Doc, maybe a bit too much. You know, you’re not giving me much incentive to avoid getting hurt.” Already liked and found him curious when they first met, but after discovering his mischievous streak? She wants to team up to pull the prank of the century.

Like Mhin, Alon admires his selflessness and how he helps the people of Lowtown, seemingly for free.

Kuras piques their curiosity. He’s graceful, mysterious, unshakable. They want to know if there’s anything more beneath that seemingly untouchable image.

He’s like an impenetrable safe they’re trying to crack. She doesn’t know what’s inside until it opens, but they’ve decided it’s worth the effort. There’s something invaluable in there, she just knows it. He’s a puzzle to them and they like puzzles.

Evading an angry Senobium cleric through Eridia’s labyrinth of a city with Kuras was the first time she felt at home since her old crew’s betrayal.

Likes Leander — “I’m no mage, but even I know you and I could make magic together.” Instantly clicked with him due to their similarities. There’s two of them now. And that’s everyone else’s problem.

Looking at both their relationship charts, it looks like they’re fighting for the Protagonist role.

Being the Hound, they’ve got good instincts and they know Leander is putting on a show most of the time. Alon’s not too worried because they’re also a performer — a jester who works and charms the crowd, both to survive and because they genuinely love it. So as far as Alon’s concerned, Leander can keep his secrets — at least, until it hurts others.

Look this is what happens when you put two people with a hero complex together okay they can end up being heroic against each other

They’re both magicians, though Leander does actual magic and Alon does sleight of hand.

Alon also probably had a Robin Hood thing going for them and their crew in the past.

Likes Vere — “You’re trouble, Foxy. I like that in a man.” Finds his assholery hilarious, shares his love for mischief and distaste for rules. The chain and collar plays right into her hero complex, though, so that might be concerning…

Loves to match Vere innuendo for innuendo. Vere’s insinuations tend to be more elegant, though, while Alon has a whole arsenal of “deez nuts” or “your mom” jokes.

Genuinely wants to help Vere out of his imprisonment, but how to make him see…

“I mean, yeah, so you killed some people — Not saying I condone it! — but the Senobium deals with that crime by…forcing you to kill people? Sheesh, and authorities call me an outlaw.”

Likes Ais — “Hey there, Soup Guardian. Guardian of the Soup. Ocudeus quivers before him.” Admires Ais’s straightforwardness and cool charisma. Thinks he’d be a loyal friend, or at the very least, a fun drinking buddy.

I don’t think Alon would be romantically attracted to Ais. They’d find Ais attractive, though. Like, they have eyes.

Would visit Ais to chat or play with Princess and the other Soulless creatures.

Finds his calm presence grounding, and likes that he listens to them ramble on about whatever pops into her mind at the moment.

Would join him in a bar brawl. Would help him start one, would help him end one.

Loves to banter with him since they’re both sarcastic little shits.

Okay, I’ll give him a serious quote from them: “Let me know if you need someone to take Princess out for a walk! I’m your guy.”

Likes Mhin — “You helped me, now I’ve got your back! So what d’ya say? You with me, partner?” Finds them interesting, cute and fun to fluster. Wants to get to know them better.

Remember when I said she likes puzzles? Mhin is a sort of puzzle to them, too. Full of odd contradictions and pieces that don’t fit together. They are lonely and they need help, but they insist on doing everything on their own. They say they don’t care, but they keep helping her. What’s their deal?

They find Mhin fun. Fun to figure out, fun to fluster, fun to chat with.

Mhin strikes Alon as lonely and in need of a friend — maybe it’s their hero complex saying to lend a hand or maybe it’s because they’re in the same spot, but Alon wants to reach out to them.

She believes they share the same goals. Of course, Mhin doesn’t have to accept her ambitious propositions of teaming up to pull a Senobium heist, but she can’t shake this hopeful feeling around them — that if they worked together, maybe neither of them would be alone anymore.

I did not intend to make them Mhin’s foil in my playthrough but um. So far…

They are both cursed. They are both newcomers to Eridia. They are both seeking to get into the Senobium. They are both lonely.

Alon is charming and outgoing and always seeking to make new friends, even if she ends up getting hurt. Mhin is the opposite, pushing people away to protect themselves, prevent themselves or others from getting hurt.

Mhin is sullen and short-tempered whereas Alon is optimistic and hard to ruffle. Though I guess that’s already evident in how she likes everyone already.

Mhin is blunt and straightforward — they have their secrets, but this is the vibe I get from them. They’re usually honest with their feelings, emotionally constipated as they seem. Alon is also emotionally constipated but in a completely different direction. She deflects and covers up their unpleasant feelings and other uncomfortable topics with jokes like it’s an Olympic sport and she’s the defending champion.

Alon is adventurous, impulsive and adaptive. They thrive in change and chaos, but deep down, they crave stability and a home. Meanwhile, Mhin strikes me as someone who prefers the security of the familiar, when they need a change.

Their fighting styles would be so different. It’s like earthbending vs airbending (if any of you guys are ATLA fans). I think Mhin has a very efficient and precise method of taking down enemies. They make every strike count and they don’t hesitate. Alon, on the other hand, likes playing tricks, using traps and diversions, discombobulating and dancing around their enemies. Mhin is a hunter, Alon is a thief — her goal isn’t usually to take down her opponents, it’s to escape or avoid direct engagement. Not that they can’t fight — they did grow up on the streets — but Alon will always choose to sweet talk, confuse, incapacitate, or run where they can.

Alon’s colour is orange to contrast Mhin’s blue. Similar to how Leander’s green contrasts against Ais’s red and Kuras’s yellow contrasts Vere’s purple. And although I wish I could say otherwise, it is completely unintentional. I wanted to give Alon a bright colour that stood out from the others because that’s their character. They are bright and colourful and fun.

Alon’s colour scheme is semi-inspired by the sun (bright orange, yellow, and pinks like the sunset) and Mhin’s colours more closely resemble the moon.

I just think this is cute. Mhin likes stargazing. Alon has freckles. And you know how there’s always poems and metaphors about freckles being constellations on skin?

#touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved vn #touchstarved oc #alon the hound #jin the alchemist #my ocs #oc #my oc #original character #something about Jin and Ais’s story gives me queer vibes…I don’t know I might have projected onto Jin way too much #I think Leander's supposed to feel more comforting and Ais is meant to be the opposite #but I find it interesting after exploring their potential relationship Ais’s route might be the most validating and comforting for Jin #in a different way than Leander’s of course but there’s something cathartic about being able to accept the worst parts of yourself #or what you perceive to be the worst parts of yourself anyway because they’re the parts you’ve been taught to hate #so yeah still trying to decide whether I should do Ais’s or Leander’s route first with Jin #Alon and Leander both liking everyone and being close to no one XD #well the thing is I decided to make the charts based on the initial impressions or at least the extent of their interactions in the demo #so alon doesn’t consider themself close to anyone yet #whereas jin immediately feels close to leander because leander’s the first person jin was able to touch #alon would find that incredibly special about her relationship to Leander but it wouldn’t necessarily put him ABOVE the others you know?#the potential to grow close is there for all of them #red spring studio

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