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Boys Planet Episode 2, Recap Part 1

In this watch-along-if-you-want-to recap, I’ll cover Episode 2 of the popular MNET show, complete with my usual screen grabs, gifs, helpful information, and snark. Let’s get to it!

A few quick notes -- ages given are international ages; ranks given are as of the end of ep 1/ beginning of ep 2; when I say "Space Council" I mean the other trainees watching the audition.

If you want to skip past the teaser, go to 1:14.

The boys have gathered in an auditorium to watch the first episode. And who is that coming in but Sunmi, who I would basically summarize as a performance artist at this point. Man, I love her.

Haruto asks her where she’ll be sitting, and all the boys strongly suggest she sit by them. She puts a chair in the middle of the aisle, so she’s in between pretty-boy waacker Sung Hanbin and charming Canadian Seok Matthew, and she makes this face for some reason.

And then they start playing the episode.

The boys enjoy each other’s trash talk, especially Yoon Jong Woo’s comment that G Group can’t win because “our roots are different.” (We’ll be seeing more of Jong Woo very shortly, trust). I feel like maybe this comment loses something in translation, because everyone reacts like it’s the quip of the century. Jong Woo is clearly a “personality” and is most likely here more to jumpstart a career on Youtube or something -- at least, that’s my take.

Everyone dies of laughter at the My House performances, and Sunmi can’t even stay in her seat. There’s also a lot of laughter at Team Hot’s performance (in the red leather jackets). Everyone’ shaving fun but I mean, oh boy, this is going to follow them around for the rest of their lives. I hope they can… deal with it.

Then the ranking is revealed.

Someone had to be 93rd, and it’s 18-year-old Japanese trainee Riku. He interviews in Japanese that he was shocked and disappointed.

Sung Han Bin, who performed Beautiful Beautiful at the end of last episode, is crowned first place winner, and Hui, who is sitting next to him, congratulates him sincerely. This would have bene several weeks into filming so Hui and Hanbin could have gotten close in the last few weeks, but maybe they really did know each other from Cube. Hanbin is overjoyed at his ranking.

If you’re curious, according to my spreadsheet, the average ranking of the G-group trainees is 52.8, while the average ranking of the K-group trainees is 41.0, which is a pretty stark difference. Of the top 10, only two are G-group; of the top 20, only 7 are G-group. Of the bottom 20 (74 to 93), only 6 are K-group. This despite the fact that we saw more auditions from G-group trainees in episode 1. You’re going to get some of that when they weight the votes the way they do, but hey, it’s their country, it’s their show, it’s their prerogative.

More stuff about how to vote. Feel free to skip to 7:57 for the episode to really start.

Time for more auditions!

Team Redstart ENM

The four Redstart trainees come out, covered in a total of 37 star stickers. So, I guess they’re confident.

I had never heard of Redstart ENM, so I looked them up. They don’t have any acts signed to them that I can find evidence of. This agency seems to exist only to promote these four trainees.

Choi Woo Jin is 18 years old and ranked 41 as of the beginning of this episode.

Hong Keon Hee is 18 years old and ranked 87 as of the beginning of this episode.

Kim Min Seoung is 19 years old and ranked 78 as of the beginning of this episode. He was on another show called Loud.

Kum Jun Hyeon is 19 years old and ranked 31 as of the beginning of this episode. (31)

The judges joke about how Kum Jun Hyeon’s loose baggy pants are very hiphop, and then they dive into their performance of Jessi’s Nunu Nana, which, as always, I watched the full cam of on Youtube before I exposed myself to MNET editing.

My take:

This was a brilliant choice of song. It was a huge hit -- 200 million views on Youtube -- and it was originally performed by a woman, so there’s that slight thrill of gender flipping it. It’s primarily a rap song, which suits their skillset, with rather minimal choreography that gave them almost a blank slate to embroider on to make this performance their own.

Their dancing and performance (as in, stage presence, charisma, that kind of thing) were both excellent, for all four of them. Watch their footwork, their angles, their consistent facial expressions even when they’re not vocalizing. They’re powerful yet controlled. And Min Seoung did that killer flip. (I love the loud appreciative wooooah from the Space Council you can hear clearly when he flips.) Both Min Seoung and Jun Hyeon had decent enough vocals that they could be a main dancer in an idol group, though I don’t really love Min Seoung's rapping vocals. He wasn’t bad or anything, I just didn’t love the sound. I liked Keon Hee’s natural deep vocal tone when he rapped, but his singing was a bit off key. Woo Jin’s vocals were shakier, both in rapping and singing. I think I’d give Jun Hyeon and Min Seoung higher scores over all -- either give them both a 3 and the others a 2, or give them both a 4 and the others a 3.

The MNET editing makes the performance look even better -- they might have brushed up Jun Hyeon’s vocals a little, but I’m not sure. We get to see Min Seoung’s flip three times, and there aren’t any shots of the vocal judges making that sour face they make.

The Space Council thinks they did great and might all get four stars.

Omigod, I’m in tune with the judges for once.

Keon Hee 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐

Woo Jin 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐

Jun Hyeon 4 stars⭐⭐⭐⭐

Min Seoung 4 stars⭐⭐⭐⭐.

Hang on, let me just double check that it’s not raining frogs or anything…. Nope, it’s just a normal day in our climate hell. I am just somehow agreeing with the judges!

Jun Hyeon is really happy to get 4 stars.

Jun Hyeon has a lot of personality, folks. He reminds me of one of my younger cousins, so I find him irritatingly endearing, if that makes any sense. I just want to tell him to shut up, but in a nice way, you know?

11:50 Tall and Short Teams Perform Conduct Zero and Reveal

Back stage, two teams are waiting -- a team from China who are very tall, and a team from Japan who are kind of short. They great each other in Korean.

The Chinese trainees interview (in Korean) that the Japanese trainees are cute, and call them “dongsaes” -- the Korean word for a younger sibling/friend. Snarkily, the show tells us that the Japanese trainees are actually older by a few years. A little number floats over the trainees heads, saying that Hiroto, Keita and Ma Jing Xiaoh are 22, 23, and 20 respectively.

(I love the constant look of bewilderment on Jing Xiao’s face throughout this encounter. He must have been really nervous to perform, but it almost looks like he’s confused as to who these hobbits are.)

Jing Xiao is 19 in the international system, so that checks out. What’s weird is, I have Hiroto’s and Keita’s ages as 20 and 21 in the international system, which would make them 21 and 22 in the Korean system…? I used their birthdates and an online birthday → age now calculator because I was too lazy to do all that math. Anyway, must be something I don’t really understand about the Korean age system. That’s why I just use the international system in these recaps.

Anyway, no one cares. Let’s watch the Osaka team perform!

Conduct Zero

Yuto is 18 and, if you’re wondering, 5’7. He’s ranked 69 right now, and is the only member of his team to give himself a confidence ranking of 3 stars instead of 4.

Kei is just 16, is also 5’7, and is a member of a “dance and vocal unit” called Edamame Beans, a subunit of EBiDAN, which seems to be some sort of AKB48 style giant “music collective” under Stardust Promotion. I don’t know much about it, but there you go. He’s in a dance position in that group. He’s ranked 76 right now.

Hiroto, not to be confused with all-star Haruto, is 20, was on Produce 101 Japan, and is signed under RBW and is on their pre-debut team. (RBW is the agency home of Mamamoo, Oneus, Onewe, and Purple Kiss.) Probably from all his pre-show exposure, and his cute face, he’s ranked 11 as of right now.

Keita is 21, a former YG Treasure Box contestant, and is a member of idol group Ciipher. He’s ranked 14 right now.

So yeah, the team comes out and Keita introduces them as “charming as takoyaki,” which Wikipedia tells me is a “Japanese snack made of a wheat flour-based batter and cooked in a special molded pan”, filled with diced octopus, and that it originated in Osaka.

Oh man. That does look charming, now you mention it.

The judges talk to Keita about how long he’s been a trainee - 9 years - and how he is a debuted member of Ciipher. We have a sad piano segment about how hard it’s been for Keita, that debuting in Ciipher didn’t solve all his problems.

I didn’t know much about Ciipher, so I looked into them. They have three title track MVs, with 3-11 million views each. I liked “Blind” best, easily -- I added it to my playlist, let’s see how long it stays there. I don’t know, they have their charms -- I hope they find a song that really breaks through.

Everyone assumes they’ll do a cute song because they’re all “cute” and short (they’re all around 5’7, as far as I can tell, which isn’t THAT short but whatever). It seems obvious to me that they won’t do a cute song dressed in all black, and of course, they don’t.

After encouraging each other with pats on the back -- very “got your back” before an improv show vibe -- and to the shouts of “ganbare!” from the Space Council (ganbare/ganbatte = fighting!) they dive into Conduct Zero, a 2015 release from Block B’s subunit called Bastarz.

My take on their performance:

Overall, an enjoyable watch.

All four of them danced pretty decently in my opinion. Yuto and Hiroto didn’t have quite enough power, while Kei was maybe too powerful, needing to relax a little more. Keita struck the right balance between giving the moves power while still seeming relaxed in his performance.

Vocal wise, they were all fairly decent too. Yuto’s vocals were the shakiest, but not by a lot. Keita’s rapping stood out -- good breath control, specific tone, all that good stuff. He also put some expression into it.

I would give Keita four stars, and the others 2 or 3 -- leaning more toward 3 for Kei for his strong dancing. I think it’s better to overdance than underdance.

The MNET editing is, if anything, kind, but it really looks like it’s the Keita-and-friends show. The judging seems to be just about Keita, too. They say the “K” in Keita must stand for K-pop. Lip J, addressing him as Keita-san, tells him he got 4 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐. The others get 2 stars ⭐⭐, which I guess is pretty fair. They seem happy with that.

At 17:05, the tall Shanghai team comes out in slow motion, and everyone freaks the absolute fuck out. Like they’ve never seen such tall, handsome people in their lives.

But the guys stand on stage in fig leaf position, clearly nervous.

Here’s some info on them, including their heights since the show is obsessed:

Ma Jing Xiang is 19 years old and currently ranked 16th, and he’s 6’2. He’s a member of a predebut team called Midsummer Cubs, which is one of my favorite names for anything ever. Per kpop fandom wiki, “His specialty includes model walking and posing.”

Cai Jin Xin is also 19 and currently ranked 42nd. He’s also 6’2. He claims to be good at “mind controlling.”

Zhang Shuai Bo is 20, 6’1, and ranked 22nd. He was also on Youth With You 3, but eliminated in 100th place (out of 119). Oh noooooo.

*Tao Yuan* is 23, 6’0, and has already left the show. I couldn’t find a reason why, but it has been mentioned that he’s going to debut as a member of a group called XODIAC, so maybe that’s it.

Everyone absolutely loses their shit about how handsome Jing Xiang is, which again reminds me that I am not always in tune with who is and who isn’t considered handsome on shows like that. Please understand, I’m not calling him ugly or anything, not at all. I’m just saying that if you were to ask me to pick out the most handsome guy on this whole show, it wouldn’t be him.

They look great just standing there…. But then they start performing.

My take:

Yeah, this isn’t good.

It’s tough to tell whether they’re all equally bad or if some might be better than others. For example, right at the start, Tao Yuan in the white fringed shirt does a movement about a full second after the others, which makes you not sure at first, were the others early or was he late, or both? And when many of the members are that far off key, it’s hard to tell if maybe some of the others might be on key, because your ear loses where the key should be. Also, if you’re on a team with people singing off key, it’s likely to throw you off key too. I feel like maybe Zhang Shuai Bo did a little better than the others, singing wise, but I really can’t be sure. I don’t have the energy to watch this performance any more times than I already have, so I’ll say that I’d give Shuai Bo 1 star and the rest no stars.

MNET editing could have been a lot worse. The Space Council think the team members look good with their long limbs, and credit is given for them attempting the song in its original key, but a series of bad notes makes the vocal judge make this face:

In the MNET editing, they end to complete silence, but of course, in real life the trainees in the Space Council cheered for them when they were done. (You hear it in the Youtube full cam video.)

The dance judge, who choreographed this song in the first place, wants to say nice things about the performance because he likes his own choreography. He says he enjoyed watching their performance, which makes Shuai Bo smile so happily.

Aww, my heart. He wasn’t expecting a single word of praise, you can just tell.

But the good times can’t last. The vocal judge says they were completely out of tune the whole time.

Ma Jing Xiang gets 2 stars⭐⭐, I assume for his handsomeness, because I see literally no other reason.

Cai Jin Xin with the mesh sleeves gets 0 stars.

Zhang Shuai Bo gets 1 star ⭐.

*Tao Yuan* gets 1 star ⭐.

For once, the judges were kinder than I was.

20:23 Uncomfortable Sexy Times

At 20:23, there is a break during which the trainees and the judges pose for the cameras and try to look sexy. Then Kim Ji Woong shows up on camera and everyone says “woah!” at his expression,

but this is his constant facial expression. He’s not doing anything. He just always has that same, slightly confused look on his face. It might all be an act -- impossible to say.

Then there’s this strange segment in which Ji Woong’s neighbor and teammate, Yoon Jong Woo, pretends to kiss / actually kisses Ji Woong on the lips, interviewing that his heart was fluttering, yadda yadda. Ji Woong seems completely unbothered either way by this, and then they both admit it was just a show, something fun for the audience. So like, full on queerbaiting? Several trainees interview about how handsome Ji Woong is. Anyway feel free to skip to..

0:23:15 Mirotic

The judges tease Ji Woong about how he isn’t wearing a shirt under his suit jacket, then grill him about his acting career. And yeah, it seems that yeah, this was just a queer-baity act, because Ji Woong has thus far only appeared in BL (“boy love”) genre dramas, including one called “Kissable Lips” and another one called “Roomates of Poonduck 304.” (Those NAMES!) So it seems his whole team is doing a sort of sexy BL concept for their performance of Mirotic.

I don’t know much about this topic, but my impression is that once you’re in BL genre dramas, you kind of are stuck there. I do know that there is at least one Kpop group with a BL concept -- OnlyOneOf. They have really good music, as it happens, and I’m holding back from ranting about how much I loved their series of solo songs that they put out over the second half of 2022. From what I’ve seen, the gay community has embraced OnlyOneOf not as queer baiters but as representation for an underrepresented group. It feels fetishy to me, and inauthentic, but for a country with so much out-and-out homophobia, I guess it’s a step in the right direction…? I defer to any gay/queer/etc folk to weigh in on this, as it’s not really my place.

Ji Woong seems to live his life in a daze, just sort of accepting the fact that everyone who sees him, male and female alike, wants to fuck him. It’s just the background noise of his life. But he really loves singing and dancing (and maybe he wants to get out of the BL rut? No way to know) so he saw Boys Planet as a great opportunity.

Anyway, the performance.

It’s hard to separate the performance from their concept, which is, “What if Mirotic, but gay?” I wouldn’t mind that at all if it weren’t so fake and fetishy. It’s just as fake and fetishy as Madonna kissing Britney Spears at the MTV Music Awards 100 years ago. I have to remind myself that this might actually be representation for young gay folk in Korea, and maybe that makes it good…? Overall, it’s a decent performance, with 3+ star dancing, 2+ star vocals, and varied performance.

*Jung Hwan Rok* has already dropped out of the show, perhaps to return to his group, withus. (Judges gave him 2 stars.)

Jeong I Chan age 21, ranked 52. He used to be known as Jeong Jaebeom when he was on the show I-Land (that produced Enhypen); he spent most of his time on I-Land in the “Ground” team (low ranked) and was eliminated at the end of the first half. He has legally changed his name to 정이찬 Jung “Ee” Chan; he seems to want to go by “E-chan” now, but the show seems to spell it I-chan. I’m kind of surprised at his low rank, as I thought he had a fan base. On the other hand, oof. These vocals. He was about a full half-tone sharp right out the gate, and I think it threw off his whole team. Not great. I also got the impression he was uncomfortable with the concept. Maybe I’m wrong.

The judges give him 2 stars ⭐⭐, which seems fair.

Kim Ji Woong is ranked 2nd; he’s 24 years old.

He has a kind of surprisingly interesting vocal color, actually, and overall was a lot better than I’d feared he would be. He looks good dancing -- elegant, even. I was surprised, really. The judges give him 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐, which I actually think is pretty fair.

(Side note: you can’t hear the rose crumble in the youtube version; that was definitely the foley artist. For once, they got to add a sound effect other than the “gulp” noise!)

Lee Seung Hwan is 22 years old and ranked 13. He has really made the rounds of reality shows and whatnot. He was on Under19 and finished in 8th place, so he debuted as a member of project group 1THE9. When that group disbanded, he went on the show LOUD, where he was eliminated in the first round. He apparently was a backup dancer for Oneus during their US tour, so he must have some dancing chops.

And he does! But his performance style is a little flat, somehow, like unexciting, so I understand how he’d make a great backup dancer. He is the one who hits that high note (”yeahhhhh!”), and it sounded pretty good until he cracked. He didn’t let it show on his face either, so I give him that. They’re tired, IDK. I think he did fine, just not special. But I bet he’ll do well on the show, because he probably can pick up choreography quickly if he worked as a backup dancer.

The judges give him 2 stars ⭐⭐, which seems slightly low but not wildly so.

Yoon Jong Woo is 22 and currently ranked 73. He is listed as a rapper and was “Ze:U” in the very short lived idol group Black Level, whose debut single was called Infection. Really? Infection? In 2022? Read the room, folks. I mean, it’s like every mid-tempo kpop boy band song got thrown in a blender with one or two trop-house songs and then poured onto a pile of monochrome outfits. Not the fault of the trainees or anything.

His performance is fine -- he’s committed to the theme, I’ll say that. He does more rapping than singing, and both are fine. The judges praise him for dropping an octave at one point, and give him 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐, and that’s fine.

The MNET editing focuses on how sexy it is and how it makes everyone a combination of turned on and uncomfortable, apparently. The main vocal judge says repeatedly that it made him really uncomfortable. “I’ve never watched a boy group perform and feel strange like this,” he says. “This was a valuable first experience.”

28:21 Takuto Time

Honestly, I’m watching this so you don’t have to. Takuto comes out, makes big hearts with his arms, and everyone talks about how cute and young he is but how kind of weird he is for making hearts all the time.

My favorite moment is when he gives his age and the far more mature looking/behaving Han Yu Jin turns to his teammate and says, “He’s the same age as me.” I mean, Yu Jin is 15 and acts 25; Takuto is 15 and acts like he’s 5. I don’t have a lot of patience for this. Sorry if you like him a lot. He’s doing a thing, and maybe it’s secretly genius and I don’t get it. I know that Korean tolerance for over the top cutseyness seems to be higher than mine.

He does a song that Korean singer/legend Rain did in 2002 called “Instead of Saying Goodbye” (which Rain performed in boxing gloves). I bet it's a sentimental fave, but it's not good. It's like, what if “Party Up (Up In Here)” by DMX had its life and soul sucked out? And then its dry, brittle corpse was filled with stale bubble gum?

Ah, the very early days of kpop.

The song has been edited to include the voices of children laughing and saying “who are you?” (in English). It’s very Kidz Bop. He starts off with a random back flip, and then immediately loses his balance and falls when he lands, and that’s about it in terms of skills displayed. I’ll keep my comments short and sweet and say that the judge’s assessment of 0 stars seems very accurate to me, though I’ll add that the MNET editing that makes him seem half-witted is kind of unfair since he obviously just doesn’t speak or understand Korean, no matter how loudly and emphatically Solji speaks into her microphone.

Both “My Housers” feel like they’re welcoming Takuta to their house, as the beginning of that now cursed song begins playing ominously in the background.

32:40 Replay

The next segment features the two trainees we met at the very beginning of the first episode, who rated themselves with just 1 star. They’re ranked pretty well, though -- all that camera time did them some good, rankings wise.

Lee Da Eul, with the lighter colored hair and light blue jacket, is 18 and ranked 4th.

Lim Jun Seo, with the darker hair and brighter blue jacket, is 17 and ranked 19th.

They are performing Replay, originally by SHINee, which I think is a smart choice for two teenage trainees. It’s one of those songs I never get sick of, even though it was already many years old when I first got into Kpop. They say it’s their first time performing in front of people -- they’ve only trained for a few months.

As for their performance, It’s the same in the whole video as it is in the editing. They do their little talent show dance, sing semi on key, and are cute and spunky. I didn’t notice one being better than the other. When they’re done, the judges make them freestyle dance. Jun Seo freezes up at first, while Da Eul hams it up, dancing like a class clown trying to get attention. Finally Jun Seo does a summersault. The judges give them both 2 stars⭐⭐, which is obviously too high. They gave Jeon Woo Seok (barefoot Criminal performer) 1 star! Honestly, these judges are just trolling us.

I love these reactions from K-group:

Top, left to right is Haru ⭐⭐ and Riku⭐, who perform in Maniac. In the second row is Na Kamden’s ⭐⭐⭐ denimed legs, then Jay⭐⭐⭐⭐; those two sang Rush Hour. Then we see tall Ichika⭐, be-hatted Itsuki ⦰, and Ouju⦰, who performed Shine. (We’ll be seeing a lot more of Ouju this episode). Directly under Riku two rows down is Ma Jing Xiang ⭐⭐ in the choker, with a squinting Cai Jin Xin ⦰next to him, and then Zhang Shuai Bo ⭐ -- those three performed in Reveal earlier. You also see a bit of Winnie, the Thai idol.

What I think is funny is their reactions. Yeah, Jay is fine, and Ichika seems like a sweet, classy guy who would clap for anyone. But msot of the rest of them are showing their irriation, disbelief, and annoyance. Yeah, of course, they might just be bummed that the competition to see who can get more stars and thus see the Signal Song a day earlier is very much not going toward the G-group. But they might be extra bummed that the judges are just handing out stars willy-nilly to the Korean trainees. Were Da Eul and Jun Seo really that much better than Itsuki and Ouju, who got no stars? Were they better than Zhang Shuai Bo, with his hesitantly happy smile, who got 1 star? Were they as good as Haru, who got 2 stars? I don’t know.

So, yeah, the competition between K and G is heating up. Who on EARTH will win? No way to know, even though all along G groups have scored poorly and K groups have scored better. Who will win?

Then we have the briefest clips of multiple auditions, all of which the judges scored poorly:

Maniac, originally by Stray Kids, performed by Haru and Riku

UN Village, originally by Baehyun of EXO, performed by Wumuti

Love Scenario, originally by IKON, performed by Choi Seung Hun and Jeon Ho Young;

Lullaby, originally by GOT7, performed by Jung Ho Jin, Kim Min Hyuk, and Park Gwan Young

I’ll be covering these, and other audition performances that were skipped completely, in a separate post.

35:50 Things Get Real

The five members of Team The Real come out.

Park Min Seok, age 20, is currently ranked 64th. He says his favorite song is Love Again by Baekhyun. Good choice.

Kim Tae Rae, age 20, is currently ranked 9th. More on him shortly.

Park Han Bin, age 20, is currently ranked 34th. He went on LOUD but was eliminated in the first round. He lists Woodz as someone he looks up to, which is a huge point in his favor.

Lee Jeong Hyeon, age 20, is currently ranked 35th.

Mun Jung Hyun, age 17, is currently ranked 24th. We’ve been seeing him a lot in the Space Council, like when he sat in Chair 1 in episode 1. He’s a former child actor -- he was in four movies between 2012 and 2017 (so when he was aged 5 to 10).

I have to rant a little more about Kim Tae Rae because I love him so much but don’t know why he’s ranked so high. He was on another reality show before, one called Top 10 Student, when he was 18; click here to watch him skillfully sing a boring duet on that show. (He’s on the left.) But I don’t know if that appearance explains his high ranking. Maybe it’s his cute intro video, where he plays the guitar and sings? I don’t think so, because it doesn’t have an unusual amount of views. Could it really just be that people like his voice? I mean, that would fill me with joy. He’s so good, you guys. I get so happy when someone in Kpop can actually SING. He has a fantastic voice. It’s a tiny bit Baekhyun-esque, a similar vocal color anyway. Now I want to hear him, Baekhyun, and Lee Hwan Hee all sing together in close harmony. Ahhhhh….

Back to the point.

The judges think that Mun Jung Hyun looks like Kang Daniel, and I mean, maybe? The judges tease all the trainees about their relationship with the WakeOne team from G-group (Anthonny, Haruto, and Min, who did Glitch Mode) and Anthonny gives us this angry, eyes-like-daggers look:

Just so we know that the rivalry runs deep and that they hate each other.

Interestingly, the judges completely fail to mention the other two WakeOne trainees who are going to do Bloom Bloom later on. WakeOne sent 10 trainees in total, which is wild but makes sense -- they manage Kep1er, so obviously have a good relationship with MNET and this franchise. WakeOne also recently took over management of T01 and they manage popular soloist Jo Yuri. I’m excited to see the team they debut out of this!

The judges ask them what is their unique strength, and blue-haired Hanbin replies, “There’s nothing we can’t do.” Out in the Space Council, Anthonny says that they’re good but that they (the G-group trainees) can beat them. And then they start.

My take:

You guys. I LOVED THIS PERFORMANCE. Just watch it on Youtube. The MNET editing is trying to make it look better with all the instant replays and reaction shots, but it is so much better if you just watch it and enjoy it. This is hands down my favorite audition from this round. A lot of the lyrics are “Look at our dance” and they sell that idea to the audience, as a group. If you watch each guys individually, yeah, you notice some little things to improve, but if you watch it just all together, there isn’t an obvious weak link.

Kim Tae Rae with the light brown hair sang so well. Yeah, he cracks a little on that high note, but he’s a human being and god knows how exhausted they all were. He’s a genuine talent. He also brought a lot of energy and personality and performance to his dancing. He did drop his “face” here and there -- I think he may have been trying to look serious/determined, and it just came across as blank. But these are minor quibbles for the obvious main vocal. I give him 4 stars.

The judges give him 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐, just to make me angry, I guess.

Little Mun Jung Hyun did really well too. MNET didn’t air this part, but he does this cool raspy rapping rap in the middle and pulled it off. Not to mention his “chum deureogayu” (the dance starts now) he does, holding out the finger heart. So fun, so much personality. I did notice that his footwork needs a bit of work -- but from the waist up, he’s doing great. I showed this performance to my fella, and he picked out Mun Jung Hyun as his favorite performer. My fella has good taste -- he picked out Ten as the best dancer in The Seventh Sense. I’d give him 3 stars, just because I think he could use a tiny bit of work on his dancing, but I think he’s great. (I mean, I'd give Jung Hyun 3 stars. I'd give my fella 3 million stars!)

The judges agree with me -- Jung Hyun gets 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐.

Blue-haired Park Han Bin was obviously a major presence in the performance. My fella thought his big facial expressions were too big and annoying, but I didn’t feel that way about it. I thought it suited the song and the style they were going for. Also, he was the center, so it made sense for him to be doing that. All in all, I think he deserved what the judges gave him: 4 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐. But I disagree with LipJ, who says that he carried the whole team on his back. He didn’t have to do that; everyone here pulled his own weight.

Lee Jeong Hyeon in the white short sleeved jacked did some really excellent rapping, and had fun and varied facial expressions. Honestly, I don’t see a reason not to give him 4 stars, but the judges do -- he gets 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐.

Park Min Seok in the leather jacket must have been the lead vocal here -- he does some pretty good singing, perfectly on key and with good support and a pleasant tune. Sometimes you can kind of see him mentally counting the steps as he dances, but on the whole he does a great job. I would have been stuck between 3 and 4 stars and probably would have gone with 3, but the judges take another puff on their crack pipe and give him 2 stars ⭐⭐.

God this whole performance gets better every time I watch it. If I had seen this exact performance on some music show, I’d be stanning this team. Yes, part of it is that this song is good, but I have to say that I’m not the world’s biggest ATEEZ fan. Their music is just not really my style, as skilled and talented as the guys are. I guess I’m just not that into pirates. So I had never heard this song before. And honestly, I like this version better than any live version that ATEEZ themselves did. They bring so much energy and enthusiasm to it.

The Space Council loves the performance, too.

Haruto turns to Anthonny and reminds him that Anthonny said that the G-team was better than the K-team…

The judges tell them that even though they must have practiced a ton, they looked like they were having fun on stage, and yeah, that’s the point.

39:40 Trainee Lee Hoe Taek

Final boss Hui comes out, and everyone tenses up.

The judges ask him why he came on this show, and he says:

“I had hundreds of reasons. The biggest reason was… I needed change.” He interviews that when he got back from my military service, and returned to PENTAGON, things had changed a lot. He says that it’s been difficult for his team to even work with who they wanted to, that they were rejected a lot. He thought to himself, “We’re no longer appealing enough to work with.” It made him sad. “It was hard to overcome the invisible wall,” he says, as Solji blinks back tears. “The only option for me now is Boys Planet.”

We get a short montage, set to soft piano music, of other trainees who have already debuted, starting with the immensely talented Lee Hwan Hee from Up10tion, who we see in an interview wearing his embroidered red jacket. Thanks, MNET. Be sure to show him talking about how sad he is while showing a brief clip of his audition, instead of just, you know, showing us his fucking audition. (Although, to be fair, his audition wasn't good so maybe it was kind.)

We also hear from Seowon from NINE.i, then Cha Woonggi who used to be in T01, then Seowon again, saying “I thought everything would work out if I debuted.” The judges are sympathetic, knowing that the competition is stiff in the industry: “It’s like entering the eye of a needle now.”

Lee Dong Yeol, better known (maybe) as Xiao in Up10tion, says, “I can’t perform just because I want to… I questioned what was in the future for me. I think I’m more desperate because I debuted.”

Ok, quick note: Up10tion has some really good songs. Check out Spin Off. It’s so fun. Big and brassy and bright. I also like What If Love a lot. Give them a chance, ok?

Anyway, the judges tell “trainee Lee Hoe Taek” to perform, and he does.

My take: He does his version of BlackPink’s Shut Down, which probably means something to him emotionally, and he shuts it down, and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

Why do we have this thing that everyone has to be an all-rounder? Hui is a top tier vocalist and he can write and produce songs. Why should he have to be the best dancer in the world, too? He isn’t the best dancer; he’s good enough to be a main vocal who dances next to the main dancer. Is D.O. from EXO a fantastic dancer? Is Chen? Nope. They dance well enough that they pull their weight, and then your eye goes to Kai, hamming it up in the center. Is Kai a fantastic singer? Nope. He has improved a ton, but he’s still not as good as most of his teammates and that’s OK. That’s why we have groups in k-pop. Jesus fuck.

So, I refuse to say, “Oh, his dancing is a tiny bit stiff, I hate this performance.” He MADE that the remix. He brought in the original violin piece that BP sampled, and used a larger clip of it. He sang and then layered his backup vocals. I bet he choreographed it himself because no way is his agency supporting him, and he’s probably too proud to ask for help. Then he sang, live, impeccably, while dancing well enough to entertain.

So fuck the judges for implying they might have given him 3 stars because his dancing “wasn’t good enough.” If you’re going to give some nearly-tone-deaf trainees 4 stars, then give Hui 5 stars. Fuck.

48:00 Who won between K group or K group?

With that, they end the auditions and announce the winner. They hem and haw and drag it out of course, but K group won by a landslide.

Out of 200 stars awarded, 119 went to K group, representing 59.5% of the vote, and making the ratio of stars awarded just about 3:2 in favor of K group. K Group is excited to get the benefit of being able to practice the Signal Test Song one day earlier, but I don’t know why that’s such a benefit, since it’s obviously the exact same song they used for every other male version of this show.

Click here for my take on the auditions that weren’t aired: Attention, Bloom Bloom, Freak, Gambler, Love Scenario, Lullaby, Maniac, UN Village, Veil, and Who. That’s a total of 18 trainees we didn’t see perform at all.

Click here for the second half of this recap of Ep 2, 49:34 to the end.

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